#i might change her last name too btw but she’ll still be related to the midfords and phantomhives

[tickledpink31]

Queen of the Chessboard

———

In a Black Butler mood recently, so I drew a companion piece to a drawing I made when I was in high school. I can’t find the version that I made in Medibang, but I found the sketch. So, this is a slight reintroduction to my Black Butler oc, Veronica, O!Ciel’s reincarnation of the 21st century.

Please DO NOT tag as Sebaciel or anything pertaining to the ship.

Like my art? Commission me on Artistree

[cowboycakes]

Do You Get My Letters

✥ Pairing: Levi x fem!Reader, somewhat Reiner x fem!Reader

✥ Themes: Fluff, angst, sadness, big ass plot twist

✥ Warnings: Female bodied reader (she/her pronouns,) Pregnancy and birth (nothing gory.) Mentions of death, violence, and threats. Manipulation.

✥ Synopsis: You are carrying Reiner's baby when he betrays Paradis. Levi decides to step in.

✥ Word Count: 2.2k

(there is a part two up to this fic, but i've decided i'm going to rewrite the ending at some point.)

Anon's Request: Hi! I saw your requests are open so here I want to give my little scenario a try! 🕳🤸🏽‍♀️ I thought abt this last night, I’m currently rewatching AOT after 6 yrs and yet to finish season 4, so sorry if I’m wrong abt timelines/the plot? My request is the reader was with child with Reiner, but b4 reader told him, he betrayed and exposed his mission. Levi stepped in to help reader. And btw, I just finished watching ep 3 of season 4, so maybe Eren telling reiner abt his child and he regrets leaving the reader? And reiner jealous at the fact Levi is most likely considered his child’s father at that point. I can’t come up with an ending, so I’ll leave it up to you if you do take in my request. If this isn’t your type of writing I totally understand!

Note: This story is canon divergent. It is set in season 4, but in a universe where Reiner is not revealed as a traitor/the armored titan until a few months before season 4 takes place, as the reader was having relations with him until then and did not know his secret. I’m sorry if that change bothers you, I just wanted to write this as sort of its own story. This story contains season 4 spoilers! It also has nothing to do with the canon ending of AOT.

---

Dear Reiner,

I hope this letter somehow gets to you, I don’t quite know where to start.

In a perfect world, I would be so happy to tell you this. You’d be ecstatic too, I think. And before you try to second guess me: I’m sure by now, don’t worry.

I’m pregnant.

I guess we weren’t careful enough before you left. I feel like an idiot. And lost. But I’m not hopeless. I know myself, I can make it work somehow. With or without you.

I’m still in shock about you. How could someone so close hide so much? You’re a talented spy I suppose, a great asset to Marley. You made me trust you with my entire life. You made me love every false thing about you. And this is the rude awakening I get in return.

I’ll raise our child to value honesty and kindness, all in spite of you.

Sincerely,

Reader

---

The paper was damp with tears after you lifted your pen for a final time. You wished you could just keep the whole thing a secret: go make a quiet life for yourself somewhere else. It wouldn’t be right. Not after all of the dishonesty that man had spewed to you over the past few years. You had to tell him.

The door to the office room you’d settled in to write the letter creaks open. It’s Levi. He looks at your puffy eyes somberly, sympathetic. He was the first person you had told about the entire situation. Not because you were close, just because you needed help.

You fold your letter and stick it into a sturdy envelope. Levi takes it in his hand.

“That piece of shit doesn’t deserve a thing from you. Not a letter. Certainly not tears,” Levi says, using a clean handkerchief to wipe a stray drop from your cheek, “but I am proud of you.”

You take the handkerchief from him, feeling more tears stream down your face.

“Proud? I’m a fucking idiot,” you say through your sobs.

“Don’t even try to pull that self pity shit with me. Things happen sometimes. And you’re strong enough to commit to getting through it,” he responds.

You stand up, pushing your chair out. You look at him as you dry your face off again.

“I’m alone. How the hell am I supposed to do this shit alone?”

“You are not alone,” Levi replies. You’re shocked when he pulls you into a hug. “I’m going to help.”

You had never seen this side of him before. You look at him as you pull away slowly, tears still welled in your eyes.

“Are you sure? That's a big burden, Levi. None of this has to involve you.”

“Not the biggest burden I’ve ever taken on,” he shrugs. “There’s a lot of death around here, Y/N. Everyone is going to be happy about the little bit of life you’re giving us.”

You chuckle. He’s cynical, but he’s right.

He licks the envelope as he walks toward the door.

“Want me to run you a hot bath or something? Is that the type of shit pregnant people need?” he asks.

You laugh, a little harder than normal. It felt so relieving to laugh.

“Sure, Captain,” you respond softly.

---

Dear Reader,

I received your letter before the battle in Marley. I actually got to hand it to Reiner myself. He knows everything now. He broke down in front of me after reading it, going on about how much he regrets everything. How he wishes he could change things and be there for you. He begged me to kill him right there.

The world will eventually not have suffering like what you are going through now.

Eren Jaeger

---

Your jaw had dropped reading it. He begged me to kill him.

You hand the letter Levi had just delivered back to him. He reads it with a furrowed brow.

“Do you think…” you begin, your voice shaky, “do you think I could send another letter?”

Levi purses his lips, “Possibly. I can ask Jaeger. But right now, you need to bring your blood pressure back down.”

You were over seven months along now. You had found out about your pregnancy late, after being in denial for four whole months. Hange insisted on checking you out after you’d thrown up every morning for a week.

Levi had since gone on a parenting book reading spree; he made you read several of them too. He knew just about everything you needed to do to make a healthy baby: what to eat, what not to eat, how to exercise, when to go to the doctor, etc. It was really sweet how much he cared. You knew it gave him hope, something to fight for, something to come home to.

You were terrified when he left for Marley. You kissed him for the first time when he returned. Just about everyone you knew had to fight. You wished you could be out there fighting with them like you were supposed to. Maybe you could have made a difference.

Levi takes your hand, squeezing it to bring you out of your thoughts.

“What can I do?” he asks.

“Get me a glass of wine,” you grumble.

“Absolutely not.”

---

Dear Reiner,

Reader does not know I’m sending this. So keep it that way, or I’ll kill your sorry ass. Or maybe not, you’d probably enjoy that. In that case I’ll get creative.

How does it feel? Being a fucking deadbeat? Is it everything you’d thought it’d be and more? Fucking her and leaving her with nothing, like she belongs in a whorehouse. Reminds me of what happened to my mother. Pieces of shit like you came in and sent her to her death, leaving her kid behind to starve.

I wasn’t about to let her suffer like my mother did. But you were. I’m glad your choices haunt you, Reiner. You fucking deserve it.

I’ll be there for the both of them from now on, doing everything you were never capable of. She’s due any day now, I’m sure she’ll try to write to you.

Levi

---

You feel your first contraction while napping on the couch with Levi. You were settled in between his legs, your back leaning up against his chest. He had his hands on your stomach; he loved to feel the baby kick and tell them some of the happier stories in his memories.

The two of you had grown so close over the past few months. You slept together every night now. You didn’t want to leave each other’s sides if you didn’t have to. Levi would cuddle and massage you any time your pregnant body was ailing you.

You had fantasized with him about life after the war. He wanted to be a husband, a father, to live peacefully in the countryside. And he wanted more than anything for you to join him.

The first contraction wasn’t painful enough for you to make much more than a grunting noise, but Levi woke up the second he felt your stomach contort a bit. He was on very high alert these days.

“Holy… shit…is that what I think it is?” Levi whispers, “Don’t answer. I’m getting Hange.”

He crawls out from behind you and sprints out of the room.

The pain worsens and becomes much more frequent while he’s out looking for Hange. You stand up eventually after getting the urge to walk around - and your water breaks. You start panicking, unsure of how dilated you were and how much time you had left before pushing. You really wished you’d done more than just skimmed through those birthing books right about now.

Levi and Hange eventually come sprinting back into the room with a wheelchair and cold rags to find you whimpering in pain on the couch, trying your best to control your breathing.

You’re rushed down the halls to the Scout’s infirmary, where Levi had made sure the perfect room was set up for you - and it had been that way for two months.

The next hour goes by in a blur. Hange knew the biology of how to deliver the baby, and Levi knew how to coach you. He helped you hold your legs back when you pushed, and helped you count out your breathing. Hange attended to everything that might have made Levi faint, like checking your dilation and making sure the baby was coming out at the right angle. You got lucky having these two by your side.

Through all of your efforts, you finally hear a cry. You look up to see Levi holding your tiny new baby as Hange wiped them clean. He was smiling, way bigger than you’d ever seen him smile before, with tears in his eyes.

“Here,” he says softly, handing her to you.

You cradle her on your bare skin. “She’s so perfect, Levi! Look how sweet she is!” you coo.

“What are you going to call her?” he asks, stroking your hair as you gleam down at your baby.

“I was thinking,” you smile, “Kuchel.”

Levi lets out small gasp. Tears start streaming down his face, his efforts to stifle them failing.

“Really? I think that’s,” he wipes his eyes, “a wonderful name.”

—-

Dear Reiner,

She’s finally here! Oh my god, she’s precious. Levi and Hange helped to deliver her. Labor went smoothly. Levi started to cry when he saw her for the first time. She really is just that perfect. We are calling her Kuchel, after Levi’s mother. He cried when I told him that, too (don’t tell him I’m sharing those crying details.) I've decided to give her Levi’s last name as well.

Levi set up the perfect nursery for us.

If you really did feel guilty for leaving - don’t be. I’m happy.

She has your eyes.

Sincerely,

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Kuchel said her first word today. Of course it wasn’t mama, she’s such a daddy’s girl. She started crawling awhile ago, we are now working on standing up on our own. She has all of this blonde curly hair, too. She’s growing up so fast.

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Levi proposed a few days ago. It was so perfect. We found a nice house with room for a farm that will be perfect for a family.

I can only wonder how you’re doing, now that the war is over.

Are you even alive?

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

I’m expecting again. Levi is beyond excited. I am too, of course. Kuchel started school this year. She is such a smart kid.

I still wonder about you. After all these years.

Reader

—-

Message after message, word after word. No response. You had decided he must be dead. The devastation after the war would argue that he was.

That is, until you found yourself rummaging through one of Levi’s desk drawers, looking for baby Isabel’s lost pacifier.

You felt the bottom of the drawer shift. A false bottom?

You pry at it until it comes open.

Letters.

Dozens of opened letters. With Marleyan postage stamps.

You pull out the first bundle you see. They’re all from you. Unopened. Unsent. You set them aside, your jaw quivering.

You pull out the second bundle and gasp.

—-

Dear Reader,

Eren showed me your letter. I am terribly sorry. Let me fix this, somehow. You can come to live with me in Marley. I will take care of you. Please.

I’m not just a traitor, a liar, a farce. Everything between us was real. I can explain everything. Just trust me.

Love,

Reiner

—

Dear Reader,

Do you get my letters?

I’ve only heard rumors about our new baby girl. I wish I could see her. Just once. For a second. Do you have a camera? I know they’re hard to come by in Paradis. I can send one.

I’d do anything to change this. You know I would.

Love,

Reiner

—-

To Levi,

You son of a bitch. I know exactly what you’re doing. You think this is protecting her, but it’s not. Just let her talk to me. She would listen, she would understand. You said yourself that she writes. You manipulative, sick bastard. That is MY child. She will never be yours. No matter what you brainwash her to believe, your dirty Ackerman blood does not run through her veins. She deserves to know. You are the farce, Levi.

Reiner

—-

There were dozens more. All opened. All from Reiner.

You sink down to the floor, tears spilling from your eyes.

You are the farce, Levi.

But, why? He was just protecting you, right?

The office door opens. You jump, shoving the letters back into the drawer.

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Kuchel asks.

You take a deep breath, staring down at the letters, thinking about everything that could have been.

“Are you happy here, Kuchel?”

“Yes!” she chirps, “Every day!”

“Then it’s nothing, baby. Mommy just got hurt. She’s better now.”

Your daughter giggles and skips out of the room, leaving you to hide away the rest of the letters.

༺♥༻

I REALLY HOPE I understood your request, Anon! I actually had a lot of fun writing this. It isn't something I would normally think to write, but I'm so glad you shared this idea! Sorry for the sad ending, I love playing w people's emotions ;)

༺♥༻

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going!  Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I’ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~ 

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”.  he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well”  while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school. 

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.

[allykakamatsu]

Hypothetical P5A

Okay, gonna make this clear right up front, I wanted to make this post for a while but the main reason I decided to do it now is because the Atlus announcement thing is almost here, and also cause I saw a video on this topic by Thorgi’s Arcade (go watch it btw it’s good) and while I agree with a lot of what he said, there’s also some things I’d change, not just cause I disagree, but also cause I think it would be fun. Anyway enough beating around the bush, let’s do this

Gameplay

I’m a firm believer in the phrase, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and the Arena games are already really good so not much to change. That being said, I still wanna change some things. First off though, we are keeping this 1 vs 1, no tag team matches. The arena games already have a lot of Mechanics going on and trying to keep everything as well as some new stuff WHILE adding a tag team button, yeah no let’s not outside of maybe a bonus mode.

This means I can’t add Batton Pass in as a new mechanic to represent P5, but I have a solution, that being Technicals. Status ailments already exist in this game, so how about when you inflict one and do a specific combo you do more damage, also providing risk vs reward as the player with the status will have a better idea of what the opponent will do making them more predictable. Also as for Persona’s, mostly everyone’s will be fully evolved, minus Yu cause him getting a final boss persona normally is a tad to OP, meanwhile the P5 characters will have their starting Persona’s, but they will evolve for big moves, like awakened mode supers and instant kills

I’m also borrowing Thorgi’s Arcade idea of having supports giving a slight buff in battle, like if you pick Fuuka your meter can build faster for a bit, meanwhile if you pick Futaba you’ll get an attack and defence buff. It’s the fairest way to include them without having to make them playable. I know Rise is already playable but this roster is going to have to be small as it is, and being a support doesn’t mean you can’t be DLC later.

Also, we’re not bringing back the Shadow Characters, just, we are not dealing with the likes of Shadow Naoto again.

:readmore:

Story

I am about to cop out a bit here, but Thorgi’s Arcade video had a really good idea for the story so I’ll just link it here https://youtu.be/yyB5rEM9UVU

To summarise for people who don’t want to watch, Nyarlathotep, the main villain from the Persona 2 games, has been gaining strength from all the suffering humanity has gone through due to 3, 4 and 5, and has gained enough strength to create a new Joker to try finish what he started and destroy the world. Mitsuru might think the Phantom Thieves are behind it cause this is clearly persona related and the fact that the leader of the PT’s is also named Joker is public knowledge, Naoto gets largely the same idea, Katsuya and Maya decide to have their own investigation, meanwhile the Phantom Thieves are trying to prove their innocence and help save the world. Nice excuse to bring everyone together, but who will the everyone be?

Base Roster

Okay, I know the dream is getting everyone from Ultimax back plus the new P5 characters, but given Arc System’s standard for small base rosters, I’m not holding my breath. The ideal would be everyone plus who I’m about to say for P2 and P5, but I’m keeping it… somewhat realistic. Anyway onto the actual size, 16 seems fair enough. One more than the most recent Guilty Gear game for a series that had pretty big success so that sound fair enough. Let’s get the obvious out of the way though, all the base 8 Phantom Thieves besides Futaba are making the cut

Okay so that’s obvious but how will they play? Starting off with Ren/Joker, Smash Bros already laid a great foundation with him being very fast on the ground and in the air plus being great at combos, so I see no reason to change that. Also no need for him to be a Jack of all trades either cause spoilers, Yu is coming back and he already fills that role.

As for the others, Ryuji I can see being a slugger charge hybrid. Basically starting out he hits pretty hard but is a bit on the slow side to compensate, but just like any good athlete, give him a chance to warm up, ie do a charge input, and he becomes a lot faster and has better combo potential. Or we could make him a toned down version of Little Mac where he’s great on the ground but he’s in trouble the second aerial combat is involved. Then there’s Morgana who with his ability to turn into cars and the fact he introduces thief tools like smoke bombs, I can see him being a faster but frailer successor to Teddie.

Then there’s Ann who, no doubt, she’s a Zoner, and with her fire she’ll be Yukiko’s sort of successor. However instead of healing, I’d implement the fact that she learns concentrate and have it so the more she charges it up, the stronger her attacks get, but the Meter will gradually go down over the match. Yusuke, as tempting as it is to cop out and say ‘have him play like Vergil in Marvel vs Capcom’, I have a different idea. Namely, take advantage of the fact that Yusuke can learn counter by having him be the defensive specialist, set up ice traps to freeze the opponent, and if they get close, he can either counter or go for some combos.

Then there’s Makoto who would definitely be a grappler. I mean, she practices Aikido and is really strong, she can 100% pull it off. Finally Haru…… TANK! I mean come on, Haru wields an axe, has a grenade launcher, and Melady is literally a dancing tank in a pink dress, it just makes too much sense. I’d also give her a bit of armor cause if she’s slow she at least needs a chance to get her attacks in.

Okay so that’s 7 out of our 16 slots down, and given that one slot will have to be saved for the Evil Joker who would be the villain, we’re halfway done with 3 games to go, lord help me.

Okay, starting this off with P4, I’m gonna give them more than the others purely because they were the focus of the originals and there’s less realistic cuts I can make compared to 2 and 3. To make things simple, every returning character would play the same, and as for the ones I’d bring back for the base roster, we’ve got Yu, Yosuke, Chie and Naoto. Why them specifically? Well Yu is the main character, Naoto being a detective would basically mean she’d be the one getting everyone involved in the first place, Chie is currently training to be a cop as confirmed in P5 so her getting called in makes sense, and Yosuke is the best investigator after Yu and Naoto, he’s always up for a mystery and the second he learns Yu is involved he’s joining in. I just couldn’t cut him.

Now before the really painful cuts, Persona 2 is really easy. Out of Innocent Sin party members, by the end of the series Maya is the only one left with a Persona, and Katsuya is not only older brother of Innocent Sin’s protag Tatsuya, but he’s also pretty important and a detective so he’s definetly the one Maya’s dragging into this. As for how they play, they both use guns like Naoto, but how I’d mix them up is with Katsuya, I’d let him attack while moving (unlike Naoto who has so stay still to fire) at the cost of less combo potential, meanwhile Maya dual wields her guns so she’ll probably play like Noel Vermillion from BlazBlue where she’d more or less just use the guns to get longer reach melee attacks instead of shooting.

Now, for the hard part. There’s only 2 slots left, one of them basically has to go to Mitsuru (not that I’m complaining I’d probably add her anyway) meaning now I have to choose between the rest of the Shadow Operatives/SEES for the last slot. I narrowed it down to the 3 that were in the original Arena cause they’re the most plot relevant, but that still meant I had to choose between Akihiko and Aigis. I ended up deciding on Aigis though cause A, with Labrys not making the base roster someone has to represent the robots of the series, and B, with Akihiko currently pulling a Ryu by travelling to get stronger, it makes more sense that Aigis would be closer and easier for Mitsuru to call up. Honestly I was tempted to bump the roster up to 17 so I could have both of them on the base roster, but this is ArcSystems, 16 is already kinda pushing it.

DLC

Given that this is a modern fighting game, DLC is inevitable. However since this DLC will likely be like Ultimax where the story acts to wrap up loose ends and have a new story, it’s going yo be big, especially since there’s going to be a fight with Nyaraloptep, so go big or go home in this case. Okay so first order of business, anyone who was in the previous arena games who wasn’t in the base roster is getting added back in, it’s only fair. That out of the way, the new faces I’d add are Futaba actually being playable now and the big 4 P5 characters I skipped, Akechi, Yoshizawa, and Sophie. Before anyone asks though, Sophie was added into a Dragalia Lost collab with Koei Techmo not being credited so she’s likely Atlus’s copyright so she's safe to add.

With that out of the way, how would they play? Starting with Futaba, I’d think she’d be the resident puppet fighter, sitting on top of Necinomicon and only occasionally adding in some of her own attacks like a projectile. Also she'd also probably act as a bit of a grappler cause her Persona has tentacles (no hentai jokes please) which have long reach so that'll be perfect for it. Next up is Akechi who I can see as semi being two characters in one. My basic idea is that at first Akechi will be fighting with Robin Hood and he'll be a solid jack of all trades with a slight focus on rush down. However once he goes into his awakened mode he'll gain Loki, which will increase his speed and attack strength, at the cost of his defence, turning him into a glass cannon.

Next is Yoshizawa, or 'Sumi as I like to call her, and her thing will be she's the mobility focused fighter, namely constantly moving around the stage and poking at her opponent while doing it, at the cost of being frail. Finally there’s Sophie who would be a combo focused zoner, as in her standard projectiles (the yo-yo’s) wouldn’t hurt that much on their own, but she can string them together into the fancy yo-yo tricks to potentially do big damage. As for how much this DLC would cost, it’s going to be very big, so €25 to €30 sounds fair

I think that more or less covers my thoughts. I could keep going on about this for a while, but I think this is a good place to stop. Hope you like my idea!

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #159

Another day, another chapter of Watamote to fill that hole in your heart.

The suspension arc continues on, and in what seems to be a reflection of characters’ emotions, it’s a slower chapter that on the surface, doesn’t offer much in terms of “progression”. Thankfully, my overly analytical mind is here to pick up all the delightful subtleties of our cast, and pick apart the unexpected, but welcome direction this series has set itself up to move towards. All aboard the Tomoko Train! 

Chapter 159: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Still Be Suspended

Yeah, that figures. Suspension becomes a lot less stressful when you realize you’re too bored to be stressed. 

Not much else to say other than the lighting in this shot is absolutely gorgeous, ya’ll.

Sorry...I was distracted by Yoshida wearing a tie. By all accounts, it should not look as good on her as it does. Too bad we only get it for like 1 1/2 panels, but I’ll take what I can get.

♪ Wooooah, we’re halfway there! 

WOAH! Livin’ on a prayer! ♫

Just some more scenery porn courtesy of Niko. Her work has really come a long way.

I sure do love these unexpected pairings that get thrown our way from time to time. They may not be the matchups we wanted, but they’re sure as hell the ones we’ll undoubtedly love.

Tomoko at it again with the sick comebacks.

It may just be out of respect to her friend Komiyama, but I’d like to think that Itou secretly(?) would like to see Komi and Tomoko become closer. A true (friend)shipper on deck.

Ah, Itou. If nothing else, your friendship with Komiyama is the real deal if you can admit to all her lunacy.

I can’t help but love how Komiyama’s whole identity is 80% related to her glasses. No surprise since its a given fact that all meganekko girls are either super pure, or super perverted, and Komi has the distinct honor of being both.  

Good luck, Itou! Just play the Lottes theme song and you're guaranteed to bring at least one person to tears.

I wasn’t sure if Tomoko fully cleared up the whole “Tomoki is my brother” thing in the groping chapter, but the implication here is that Yoshida still doesn’t know. This is building up to what will surely be a hilarious revelation.

Guess we don’t have to worry about adding Itou into the Tomokibowl, huh? That would’ve been such a trainwreck. Makes you wonder who’s Itou’s type though...

As in, “Are you doing well?” or “Well, how are you?”. C’mon, Yuri, you gotta dial down the tsundere-ness and give your favorite idiot a little more context than that. 

Damn, Nemo was right on the money, wasn’t she? Even over LINE, she’s not afraid to play dirty.

Btw, I love how Tomoko’s expression doesn’t change at all while looking through the messages. Like her face is frozen from processing so many slaps in the face at once. 

I think this is the first Tomoko has been genuinely unnerved by Katou’s (s)mothering. Getting spoiled is a hot fantasy the first couple times, Tomoko. But once it starts bleeding into your everyday life, that’s when it starts getting a little creepy.

Let’s be honest. We all know who this is, right? 

Side note: How did she get Tomoko’s LINE number?

I wanna say it’s another Mako case where Okada sent her a message because of Nemo’s influence. Poor girl is falling down the rabbit hole.

Oooooh, Katou’s getting special treatment. In her defense, I don’t think it’s necessarily that Tomoko likes her best or anything. For one, Katou the only one whose message was fairly normal. But also, it’s easy to send a quick reply to someone you’re not as close with. Logically speaking, Tomoko would likely prefer to send more detailed responses to Yuri and Nemo because she’s closer to them. And she’ll probably ignore Ucchi entirely. 

Of course, logic has no place between girls fighting for dominance.

The first time we get to see Katou’s inner thoughts and...it’s nothing special.

I wasn’t expecting to see a monologue of deep-rooted insecurities or anything. That’s not this series’ thing. If anything, that mundaneness works to Katou’s advantage because it shows that while she may be incredibly attractive on the outside, she’s just a regular person with simple concerns on the inside. If they’re really going to take Katou’s affection on Tomoko into romantic territory, it’s a good place to start.

The Cuck Sisters have graduated into the Ghosted Sisters.

I’m sure Katou isn’t trying to arrogant about being the only one to get a reply. I mean, anyone would have a bit of an ego boost from that. 

But I’m sorry, Katou. There’s just one small thing you have to realize...

...finding out that your girl was out seeing other people is the initiation for entering the Tomoko harem.

Poor Itou. Girl was just minding her own business and now she finds herself in the middle of the moshpit. 

On that note, I absolutely love the composition of this panel. Even though the line of sight is directed at Itou, Katou’s stance draws in your full attention. Even more amazing is how having these six specific people in the frame adds to the overall intensity. We having Tomoko’s old friends, new friends, and acquaintances all together for the same discussion, and it really emphasizes just how much Tomoko’s influence has affected the whole classroom dynamic.

Small tidbit, but I appreciate that Yuri asked about Yoshida, too. Those two haven’t had many scenes alone together lately since the pachinko parlor moment, and it would sure be nice to more of their relationship outside of Tomoko. 

Ucchi’s teleportation powers always gets a good laugh out of me. I also like how the very first thing she asks is if Tomoko’s creepy, like she needs that confirmation to validate even being there. Girl needs to start coming up with better excuses.

Having Ucchi and Futaki in the same panel always feels so unreal to me. I feel like if the two of them starting talking to each other, the universe would implode upon itself. 

Ucchi:

I like the direction they took this. It would have been very easy for Komiyama to pretend she doesn’t care a la tsunderism. But nope. Komiyama only has a mild interest in how Tomoko’s doing, letting Yuu act as a proxy for them. Even if Tomoko and Komiyama don’t care much about each other, their history belies this odd level of intimacy.

Alright, alright, you got me Nico Tanigawa.

...Poor Minami. 

I think its a merit to the mangaka’s storytelling skills that we can easily infer that Mako’s talking about Yoshida. Between Mako being who she is, Yoshida being who she is, and their growing friendship gaining attention, who else could it be?

That’s...kind of sad, honestly. We’ve seen several times just how clingy Minami is to her (one-sided) friendships, but never have we seen her sound so dependent on others. It’s been hinted at before, but being a bitch is the one thing Minami’s good at, and she might actually know that. She may act stuck-up on the outside, but the fact that’s she’s so upfront about it may actually mask a bit of an inferiority complex.  

Curse you, Nico Tanigawa, for making Minami a three-dimensional character with legitimate wants and fears.

I’m glad Mako isn’t mentioning her by name. She knows Minami enough that outting her friend will lead to harm.

On Minami.

Tomoko’s triangle mouth is unironically cute. There, I said it.

Character development for Yoshida, whaaaaaat?

Let’s face it. The trio of Tomoko, Yuri, and Yoshida are all slackers in some way, shape, or form. It makes sense that Yoshida would be the last of them to put any real effort into her future. Since she isn’t the type to make personal changes just because someone told her to, the reasonable way to make Yoshida understand is through observance. As thick-headed as she is, Miss Yoshida is not about to be left in the lurch while her buddies move on without her.

Between this and my recent watching of Aggretsuko S2 (shameless plug!), it’s become apparent to me that getting a driver’s license isn’t as “mandatory” there as it is in my country. I’d imagine it has to do with the work environment there being so focused on public transit, but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Tomoko actually makes a solid point there, though I get the feeling she’s imagining Yoshida driving getaway cars for the yakuza or something. 

Or, you know, her chauffeur. 

Ignoring the somewhat obvious advertisement for a vehicle that I’m sure was blacked out in the original version, this is totally setting itself up for the next arc of Watamote. As summer vacation gets closer and closer, I was wondering just how Tomoko was going to spend it. She obviously can’t stay at home the whole time like she did in the past, so I was thinking she’d end up doing things with her friends like working part-time jobs, going to a festival, or in this case, a road trip.

Bring on the Road Trip Arc!

Oh, I get it. Tomoko did the whole “min-na” thing that slice-of-life moe anime girls do when talking about their friends, right? 

Traitor.

I’m joking, of course, but only partially. It’s clear to us all that Tomoko feels like she’s betraying a part of herself for saying something so bubbly. It was a direction I had anticipated to some degree when Tomoko began making self-deprecating jokes about becoming a normie. It was always in that “haha, like that could ever happen” tone, but it was only a matter of time before Tomoko started to become the mask. It’s scary to think you might subconsciously be changing a core part of yourself, and that realization is something Tomoko will eventually have to come to terms with.

At least we get her most adorable, genuine blush ever thanks to this.

Damn, expulsion for driving a vehicle? What’s with this school and it’s beef with having your own set of wheels?

Ah, saving up for a car. The first glimpse into Tomoko’s (and everyone else’s) efforts at adulting. 

To get the obvious out of the way, no I don’t think Mako and Yoshida are naked in this panel. While Nico Tanigawa have shown that they’re not above very mild levels of fanservice, I don’t think they’d resort to something this teasing.

Probably. 

Anyways, there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with Yoshida’s decision. Taking things slow is very much in line with her character. Sure, it’s kind of inconsiderate of Yoshida to flippantly go the other way after asking for help, and Mako’s frustration is understandable. But more importantly, it highlights Mako influence on Yoshida, and the Kyoto Group in general.

When it’s just Tomoko, Yuri, and Yoshida, they have a unique bond where they don’t really try to push each other out of their comfort zones. Yoshida especially, for being so damn stubborn. But when you add Mako into the mix, a.k.a. the “Mom Friend”, suddenly the level of morale and effort within the group rises. And as the most “normal” friend, Mako’s existence helps to keep their friendship from growing stagnant.

As the Suspension Arc continues, the lack of “action” gives the cast some room for a little introspection. The gags themselves may have been on the limited side, but a lot of these set-up chapters usually are. The future is near, folks, and there are no signs of slowing down, for the characters or the series itself. Changes are over the horizon, but for now, the journey continues.

[queenangst]

it took all my braining just to come up with that much so. take it. take the human keith and run i fully enable this. and also let's talk how Keith wouldn't put walls up to keep people from getting close and befriending him

edit: this got really, really, really long. um. 

look at u two enablers, what the heck:

keith who grew up with both parents around 

parents who have actual names. fuck. do i know them, though? still. no.

keith who had a “normal” childhood - he’s got friends and he goes to public school and his family loves him. and maybe he has a sibling!

bye bye, abandonment issues

i like to think he’d still be a bit of a loner. withdrawn, but the friendships he does make are strong and lasting, and, like canon keith, he is deeply loyal to them

he still wants to go to space, and his parents encourage him. and he makes it to the garrison 

i think here is where things begin to play out a bit differently. there are so many ways this could go, but i like to think keith and shiro do end up being friends 

i don’t think they’d be super close (pre-canon/kerberos). 

more on that: i think the reason pre-canon shiro was drawn to being friends with keith was because he must have seen a lot of himself in him. the drive, the recklessness, the way he reacts to things and to authority.

with a different upbringing, that changes, and i feel like maybe keith would have a little more of the same star-struck attitude the other paladins do re: shiro 

but! they’re still quite good friends pre-kerberos 

this changes what happens, though, when shiro goes missing

keith has some friends from the garrison [instead of his implied canon loneliness], one of whom is katie, who he recognizes as pidge when she infiltrates the garrison

so keith keeps his anger and his fear and his grief and stays at the garrison, and he and pidge share a quiet burden as they work to figure out together the truth

this, of course, changes how lance is still a cargo pilot, sorry, my dude

however, it does mean that keith and lance come into contact. and they warm up to each other and lance lets go of the jealous/attention-fed rivalry and they muck around and bicker but it’s all in good fun

ALSO keith and hunk are good for each other and they ground each other—hunk helps when keith gets into his rants and moods about shiro, and keith helps hunk when he freaks out or panics

also. what a squad, am i right. what a squad. they have therapeutic study sessions and colorful flashcards 

and this also affects pidge in that during her garrison time she too does not shut people out, that’s right, everyone is opening up to each other and communicate a lot it’s very good

boom boom it’s shiro, motherfuckers

“guys it’s fine i’ve been hiding this hoverbike for a year”

“keith are u trying to be cool and e d g y wow i can’t believe we’re friends”

uh. literally no one knows how to fight on the squad. i feel like keith learned fighting bc he was angry and he lashed out a lot and he was picked on as a kid and. that doesn’t happen in this au, so, now the squad is all dweebs

but they manage to bang their way through the room and get shiro on the bike and then they floor it

“keith do u know how to drive, what the fucK!” 

“trust me”

“i really dooOOOOOOOOONT”

instead of heading out to the shack, no one knows where the fuck that is, what the fuck, they just run away from garrison officials

and then they find some caves and they’re like, oh, we can stay here for a bit and think about our next move because wow what we just did was really dumb 

lo and behold! it’s blue ! whats up homegirl 

well, off to space! 

suck it, you’re homesick! and you’re homesick! and yoU’RE HOMESICK everyone is hOMESICK and keith misses his family so much it hurts

but u know what? they all talk about it 

wow!! communication !

btw keith’s dad teaches him how to use a knife. kind of. so keith actually can kinda fight, but he doesn’t have a lot of experience. and he doesn’t have A Knife (TM) that he carries around 24/7. ok maybe he has a butterfly knife bc he thinks theyre cool 

so he can wield a knife, but he might also accidentally lightly stab himself, too, so, who knows 

training sucks everything sucks and instead of study sessions they start having training sessions outside of their usual ones. colorful flashcards become sparring. pillow fights become training. they also have miss-earth sessions where they just hang out and talk about the things they miss from earth, like their families, but also bacon

actually keith being human? solves so many problems

the team might not be good at fighting. but they’re able to form voltron almost effortlessly, and their training is hard but they work together really well 

what happens to the blade of marmora, annie? 

uh. that’s a real good question. really good question. 

it actually ends up with shiro as their connection to bom because of ulaz

consider this tho. the trials of marmora are for shiro - as leader of voltron - to prove that he is worthy and that voltron is worth allying with

shiro !!! in the bom suit !!! 

i mean this in both the angst way and the wOW can u imagine that boi in the fucking bom suit

also when shiro pushes keith about being leader... keith pushes back. he tells shiro his fears. what he thinks. he tells shiro he doesn’t want to be leader 

he’s willing to step up to the plate, but he... still doesn’t want to. they talk about it. a lot. shiro teaches him about leadership, and keith grows bc of it. 

shiro goes missing again, go figure

keith, as promised, takes up the mantle. but the transition is smoother, easier. there’s more trust. the team listens to each other, works together to make sure they’re still okay.

i think keith tries to shut people out... but he can’t. number one, because he really just can’t bottle it up, and number two, because the others barge into his room and hold a sleepover and they talk about their feelings, so he also really can’t, but hey, some slight character conflict

things go sO much better

oh i forgot to write about this scene earlier so im gonna write about it now. keith goes after the quintessence and he burns himself and it damages his hand instead of healing it 

alternatively, he stays with the others and that druid scene that’s meant to be foreshadowing for keith’s galra heritage is just. nonexistent, lol

but i like to think he burned his hand bc how fun is that 

think about keith recovering 

think about it

think. about i t that’s some good hurt/comfort right there yes sir it is

anyway shiro comes back and everyone returns to their roles, i guess?

sorry that’s kind of boring 

here’s something less boring

allura is the one who leaves

EDIT: ok from here on it gets a little allura-centric but that’s a) because i don’t really talk about what happens to the team and b) the role switch is so interesting

they make it so that coran can be in charge of the castle, because fuck, they’re smart! they can do it! they press some buttons and allura does some commanding at the castle and they get coran in the system

also now two people can open wormholes and shit that’s like, convenient, dude

allura thinks about remaining with the team on the castle. like she could go back to her role

but instead kolivan offers training

at first she refuses. she’s since made peace with the fact that bom is galra, but she’s still wary

but then she decides she should. not only does this allow her to train and for her to feel like she’s doing more, but it also gives her room to see how non-empire-related galra act and the way they form relationships and their way of working 

she does return to the team—it’s switched between her training here and there with the bom, doing fieldwork and honing her fighting and shapeshifting skills and learning more about diplomacy and being a leader and being on a different team, and then she’ll go back to the castle and this changes how she works with team voltron!

also. i know we were just talking about shiro in a bom suit but.... allura. girl would rock it. think about th a t

also, if this means allura, too, goes through the trials of marmora, ahaha, sign me the fuck up

this is way behind but “u fight like a galra” doesnt happen

keith’s whole thing with zarkon? might not have happened

anyway

also that whole animosity etc between keith and allura? they butt heads because of differences in opinion but human keith removes the whole galra-altean conflict

ok now consider this 

they go to the parallel universe and not only do they meet sven, they also meet [kogane] akira who uhhhhhhh is half galra keith, and everyone’s like, wtf ?

sorry i keep jumping around the timeline. fuck the timeline, am i right

back to season 4

keith is with team voltron when the whole naxzela thing goes down

whoop whoop

allura is the one out there haHa

wait im sorry dont die i love u

so allura is a self-sacrificial character as well. either she

is like keith and rams toward the shield thing, hoe dont do it

or she and coran team up, shoot the shield with the castle, and allura gets in and faces off haggar in a parallel to their first fight

she almost loses against haggar...

until she’s saved by prince lotor who crashes his ship into the side and walks in like “hi mom take this” and like, shoots her in the face

ok he doesn’t say “hi mom” bc he doesn’t know but u know. “hey witch bitch” or “fuck u” or “u ruined my team and my family and im here to fuck u the fUCK UP”

instead of coming to save voltron and keith and shit

he comes because he’s tracking down haggar because he’s pissed about what she did to narti 

wow i love lotor

anyway haggar gets taken down and she flees (and now both haggar and zarkon are weakened) and allura and lotor stare at each other and allura’s like “i dont like u and i dont trust u but i guess we both have a common enemy maybe we can work something out”

and then she threatens him again

and that’s how we line up with canon!

[wearethegladiators]

BUCKLE UP KIDS BC THIS SHIT IS WAY TOO LONG BC I HAVE 0 SELF-CONTROL: A LILY EDITION

Lily is trapped AF. She is an important figure of the Muggleborn Resistance/one of the branches of the Muggleborn Resistance… She’s quite a powerful player because she managed to secure allies… pretty much everywhere (hello Wynona, hello les deatheaters). BUT her branch is very cult-like (yes, this is canon, I thought this through and through promis). It started most likely when she helped a bunch of them to escape from a Mudblood Camp (which was mostly accomplished thanks to/with Sacha but I guess he would try to avoid the spotlight??) Then she was captured a bunch of other times, always escaped, was almost killed a bunch of times, always survived (just Lily stuff). (Also the fact that she disappeared on a crusade for months after the virus to find the muggle survivors and buried/burnt so many bodies… Imaginaries, you know). And that kept on going. At first she thought this was bullshit, she’d make fun of Fury and the bunch of other people treating her like a Wanheda. But then Aron died, and THAT changed everything. Because the building of the Muggleborn Resistance, like you said, it was all for people like him. And every fucking thing Lily did, it was all about him first and foremost. Before her people. Before anyone else. And failing at it, losing the purpose she had for years?? She almost gave up. But then they were these people telling her she survived for a reason, she was meant to do something, she was the queen of the dead of whatever bullshit… Well if she ever met an oracle confirming that, she’d accept it. There HAS to be a reason why SHE survived when everyone else around her is… dead, brainwashed, gone. So she played into that. And Lily, while being an atheist, has always strongly believed in fate and destiny. So in the long run, she’d buy it… Would come to believe she is the only one capable of saving her people from going extinct, and would take drastic measures to prevent it from happening. She has to have a reason to keep going, and so do the people around her because they fucking suffered so much. So that’s what she does – sort of brainwash herself. That’s how she survives, but that’s not how she may live.

 Random bullet points and further ranting:

 ·         CLARIFICATION 1: I’ve seen you were confused by some stuff I mentioned like the “Fenugreek drama” which makes sense because I’ve never explicitly spoken about it mdr. But basically, the idea is that Fenugreek got injured during a battle, pretty badly. Healers managed to “bring him back” but he was just done. He did not want to keep on fighting. So he begged everyone in the room to end his suffering and no one was willing to do it because he was a kid. And finally Lily stood up and she did it. (Sung The Parting Glass while doing it because hey, remember Fenugreek was Irish too). That’s the moment when things started to go ugly with Aron.

·         CLARIFICATION 2: Lily thought Aron was dead right after she was saved by the Rebellion so I need to check but… mid-1998? Sullivan had caught her and tricked her/her memory into thinking they had killed her brother (he officially did it because they needed to “stop” Lily (mdr the deatheaters thought Lily was a hell of a threat at that time remember) (and the Rebellion was just like “humpf nice kid, how did she survive tho”) ANYWAY it was his way of “stopping” her without killing her) (what a bitch, is he dead btw) (I think so). So after that she had a few weeks/months of being batshit crazy, always running away, having edgy/suicidal behavior, and ultimately savagely killing a deatheater. That’s when she decided it was too much, and since she felt something was wrong with her memory she went to NZ and found her family safe and sound :’) and brought back to the UK :’)

·         NOT RELATED BUT CANON: Lily’s ancestors were Vikings. Warriors, explorers. And overall nice people. Btw can we have talk about this? http://www.irishsurnames.com/cgi-bin/gallery.pl?name=evans&capname=Evans&letter=e PEACE. SINCERITY. WOLVES. So anyway long shot I’m sorry but………….. What if Lily’s and Nathan’s ancestors already crossed paths on the sea????

·         NEEDS MORE THOUGHT: Lily is a FREAKING GOOD Occlumens. And she uses it way too much. And it’s messing with her mind, her health, and pretty much everything around. Definitely weakens her a lot but she can’t stop. (Also because of what happened when she let down her guard and thought Aron was dead). But the whole Josephine plot….. Makes me wonder if she could not have one such moment again, because she’s frankly exhausted. What if someone takes advantage of it? What if someone attacks her in what is supposed to be her greatest strengths?? HOW BAD WOULD THIS BE???

 ·         NEEDS MORE THOUGHT: SACHA. I always thought of him as a sort of mini-Aron… (and so did Lily, for a while). But you know what Sacha really is? A mini-Lily, struggling not to become everything Lily is at the moment. And Lily, as blinded as she is atm, she can see that. She can feel that. And she’ll be willing to fucking protect that. She won’t be a perfect friend because she’s… she’s fucked up, tbh. Damaged to a point that may not ever be fixed. But she’ll try. She’ll be that one person to tell him to never, ever give up on his brother (even though she may fail at providing him with the support needed to do so). She’ll make sure he does not have to do the fucked-up shit/get his hands dirty. But even more so…. She could use him as her moral compass? Like she has her personal “circle” of counselors if you will (most of them being fanatics :’)) but gradually, she’ll end up turning to Sacha. Because she can see herself in him – everything she used to be, everything she wishes she still was. And speaking to him is like speaking to an older version of herself, a better version of herself. I really want Nathan to be the one helping her out of this mess but… This could certainly help. If Sacha tells her something’s wrong, she’ll listen. She may not seem like she is, but she will.

 Finally, I don’t know if you can tell but I’ve been getting A LOT of Nathalily vibes lately. They’re like BROTP ENDGAME YO. There’s definitely angst in there. Lily’s almost exclusively with the Muggleborn Resistance now (she stuck with the rebellion for a while because Aron literally refused to follow with the Muggleborn Resistance and stayed with the Rebels mdr). As you said, the Rebellion and the Muggleborn Resistance have different endgoals and they must sometimes clash, which means that LILY AND NATHAN CLASH. Also the Aron drama must have damaged their relationship somehow (I’m sorry bitch but because of Bellarke I can just SEE Lily slapping Nathan in the face, and the only way she would resort to this would probably be Aron-related). (Also remember that in the Excidium verse Lily had literally LEFT Nathan’s movement because she disagreed so much with it and what he was becoming) (and remember on the CB of les Ames Mortes when Nathan literally ATTACKED Lily to show her how unprepared she was to face the war) (THERE’S ALWAYS BEEN ANGST GNNNN)

But, my point is, even though their relationship might be complicated, even though they’re in conflict sometimes (what if they literally find themselves on opposite sides mdr) (I mean with what you said I could see some Resistants being AGAINST the Rebellion), they’re just ALWAYS THERE for each other. Like there’s a super sensitive thing to do and Lily just goes like “yeah, ask Nathan” without even thinking because!! she trusts him so much!! no matter what!! And everyone’s like “really????” and she’s looking at them like “wtf idiots”. Idk, like the unconditional trust and the unconditional love and the unbreakable bond is still here no matter what? She would come under a minute if she heard he was in trouble, and she would put her life into his hands without even having to think about it. Am I making sense??? And they need to have an emotional retrouvailles sequence with a running!hug and shit. Nathan also needs to help Lily out of this mess hihi. OR Lily could give up all this bullshit when Nathan goes “””dark”””?? Because it was not just Aron her priority – it was her brother, and Nathan’s just that to her.

(Also I’m a sucker for Lily/Nathan saying they’re each other’s brothers and sisters and everyone being like YOU DON’T HAVE THE SAME BLOOD. YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE THE SAME SKIN COLOR. AND SO WHAT BITCH)

Anyway so I’m emotional, I don’t know if you could tell

(Regarding the last gifset: I mean, Lily’s a badass survivor, she’s incredibly luckily and shit. But Nathan plays a big part in her survival over the last few years, both physically and mentally, that we need to acknowledge :’))

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Roman Numerals, 8s, 10s, Xs, and Beth’s Return

Good morning and Happy Saturday! So as I’ve been saying the past few weeks, @wdway and I have been doing re-watches and finding some interesting things. A lot of these insights come directly from her research. Thanks so much for all your hard work and eagle eyes, Hon!

The biggest problem I ran into while writing this was what order to present everything in. Some much of it is so intertwined, if I start talking about one, I’ll have to talk about the others. So I’m gonna try really hard to keep from confusing you all.

It was @wdway that first turned me on to look for the X symbol. Once I did, I started seeing them everywhere. Let me start by giving you some examples.

We’ve seen them all the way since S1 in license plates, but I’m not going to talk about license plates today. They’re super important, but they’re getting their own post later.

We’ve also seen them quite frequently on signs, such as railroad crossing signs (RXR) and we all know the train tracks are an important symbol all their own.

We see them as notches in both Beth and Maggie’s belts, Beth’s starting in S3 and Maggie’s starting in S4. (I’m not going to talk about the belts today. They’re important, but again, that’s another post.)

In S5, we saw them on the trees around Morgan. With the circle around them, they also happen to be an electric symbol for lamps (X) and also look like a modified coda. Which is interesting given that we saw them in 5x08.

Also in S5, we saw them near Sasha in the dry creek bed (near the frogs) in 5x10:

We also saw them on Crazy Boxcar Dude’s face at Terminus.

And then here, in FG’s church while Maggie, Sasha and he pray together.

Interestingly, we actually see them around Grady in a few ways. When Rick discusses the plan with everyone, he draws a floor plan of Grady in the dirt and uses Xs to show where each person will be. So X = a person. 

Of course we get a sea of Xs in the chain link of this shot:

(And yes, I know we see a lot of chain link in the show. I don’t think you could point to any random instance of chain link as a symbol. But when there’s a lot of it, when it’s emphasized, etc., it’s probably important. This was a specific decision to show this tragic, iconic shot through chain link rather than put the camera on the other side of it for a clearer view.)

Moving into S6, we saw them around Morgan again on rocks and on the porch of Eastman’s house.

We saw Sasha emphasize an X in Daryl’s last name when she wrote it on the door.

In 6x16/7x01 we saw the Saviors mark the Librarian guy they hung with an X. In the S7 premiere, Negan went back to that spot with Rick and Rick actually climbed the corpse to get away from the walker horde. They really emphasized it, in other words.

(Which btw I think may support my theory about the Captain Hanson backstory at Grady pointing toward Beth helping Rick through something.)

We saw them around Sasha and Rosita in 7b as well.

(Understand that these are only a few instances. I’m sure they’re all over the place, chilling in the background of scenes and such. But these are ones that stood out to us.)

And of course, as @wdway points out, turning an X results in a cross and vise versa. (A tactic employed in the recent Logan (wolverine) film.)

So, what does this all mean? What do the Xs represent? I bet you can guess what I’m gonna say. Yup, I’ll say it: we think they represent Beth. Or things to do with her. It’s hard to say exactly how this realization formed, other than just seeing Xs all over having to do with her. But I’ll get to some stuff that @wdway has found recently that really confirmed our beliefs.

First, let’s talk about Tara.

Remember in 7x06, when we saw some lines of Roman Numerals on her arm, but we couldn’t see the bottom line? 

@wdway noticed two more instances when we see this tattoo, though they’re much subtler than this one, and I found yet another. While doing the re-watch, she noticed that in this scene in 4x07, you can see the tattoo. 

We just didn’t realize it was visible before S7. I also found it here 

but it’s VERY hard to see. I don’t think from either of these shots in S4, we would have been able to tell what the tattoo said. But still, this was something obviously planned since S4, when Gimple took the reins.

The other instance @wdway noticed was here in 7x10:

And the interesting thing in this case is that you can see the bottom line that was hidden in 7x06. Can you tell what it is? Yup, that’s right. It’s an 8. So these are the lines we have, all in roman numerals

26: XXVI

13: XIII

22: XXII

9: IX

8: VIII

I don’t know what the top four numbers mean. I’ve played around with them somewhat–counting episodes Tara is in and trying to multiply or divide them in various ways. Nothing ingenious has come to me. They may have to do with Tara’s arc herself (rather than Beth) and they may foreshadow something to come. If that’s the case, we can’t possibly know what it is yet.

The 8 is suspicious, of course, to TD. And it’s made even more so in my opinion because it was hidden in that close up shot. If they really wanted to hide it, they wouldn’t have shown it to us a few episodes later. And remember Glenn’s theme from 5a: “There’s nothing worth finding in this world that isn’t hidden.” I believe he even said that to Tara.

But there’s more. Again, this is an insight from @wdway. The clock in Still, which we first saw at 8 minutes before the hour, and then chimed, showing that 8 minutes had passed before Beth “made it” had roman numerals, rather than numbers. 

As far as we know, there are only two other clocks with roman numerals on the face rather than numbers or other marks. The first is—once again—at Grady. In 5x07 Crossed, there’s a clock in Edwards’ office with roman numerals. The weird thing about this clock is that it changes mid-scene. This may be hard to see, but in this top picture, the hands point at the 8 and the 4. 

In otherwords, episode 8x04. Then, 30 seconds later and in the same scene, it changes to the 8 and the 10. 

Perhaps something this scene foreshadows will be an arc that goes from 8x04-8x10. That actually makes all kinds of sense given the rest of this theory but I’ll come back to it. The final clock is the one Cindy looks at here at Oceanside.

As you can see, it also reads 8:20, which would point to episode 8x04.

Could it be that Beth will appear in 8x04? Or that she’ll show up at Oceanside in that episode? Perhaps both.

Three clocks = Rule of Threes. All wrapped up in Beth symbolism. First in Still, then at Grady, then at Oceanside.

We’ll have to look for other clocks as we go, but I even checked watches and the ones in WHAWGO to be sure. They either have regular numbers or just lines in place of numbers. In some cases, they’re too blurry to tell for sure. In those cases, we certainly don’t see roman numerals.

So we have Xs that are wrapped up in TD symbolism, with ties to Tara, Oceanside, and Still. It certainly looks like they were trying to tie the clocks in 4x12 and 6x07 together, which is awesome!

A couple more facts about Xs. In roman numerology, the X = 10, right? We do see some 10 stuff around Beth. Not as much as 7 or 8 stuff, but a bit.

Every season, episode 10 is significant in some way to Beth.

(No episode 10 in S1).

S2x10: 18 Miles Out (suicide arc)

S3x10: Home (Talks to Carol about Daryl)

S4x10: Inmates (Dairy voice over and backward story progression.)

S5x10: Them (Music box wakes up.)

S6x10: The Next World (Rickyl/Bethyl parallels, meet JESUS on the road.)

7x10: New Best Friends (Daryl says goodbye to Carol, Carol reads novel with a serious piggyback on the cover.)

Plus, I might add, we’ve seen a lot of 100s, which 10 is an obvious factor of. And episode 100 is 8x01.

So given these 10s, the 8:50 on Edwards’ clock makes sense. I wonder if Beth will show up at Oceanside in 8x04, but we won’t see the entirety of how she escaped until 8x10. If 8x10 mirrors 4x10, Inmates, at all, we might even hear more voice overs or see flashbacks.

I’d also like to point out that right after talking to Edwards, Beth walks into the hallway and we have some definite Dark Tunnel Symbolism there. (X, X, X).

She’s heading into her dark tunnel as we head into Coda, but there’s a light at the end, showing that she’ll come out the other side eventually.

Buuuutt, there’s one more thing you all ought to be aware of concerning the letter X. @wdway and her ingenious research uncovered something more. Put roman numerology aside for a moment. We’ve seen both that and the Greek alphabet symbols used in the show. She looked up Hebrew. And guess what? The symbol for the number 8 in Hebrew numerology is an X. The word for it is “chet” and it means “New Beginnings.”

(Source)

On that subject I’m sure this has probably been said before, but I was thinking about it in more detail yesterday. In Christian symbolism, 8 is the number of baptism. Baptism, by definition, is a spiritual rebirth. So (and this is what I was listening to the other day that made me think about this) the baptismal font, full of water, is a likeness of the grave. One comes up out of it, newly baptized, as though being resurrected and beginning life anew.

(P.S. Doing re-watches, I’ve found a lot more 8s than I would have thought. I’ll do a post showing all of them, but I don’t want to make this theory any longer.)

Given all of this, it just makes all kinds of sense that Beth will come by water (greenroute) in S8.

So…Tara’s roman numerals? Important.

8s? Important.

10s? Important.

Xs? VERY important.

So I’ll let you go back through the list of Xs at the beginning of the theory and figure out how they relate to Beth. Some are obvious. Others aren’t but we still have theories about them (*coughs Dude at Terminus*).

And can I just add that I love that the X, a symbol for 8s and Beth’s return was put BY SASHA in the middle of Daryl’s name. Love that. ;D

So everyone keep your eyes out for Xs as you re-watch. (Not that we need tons more evidence, but it’s just fun. ;D)

Thoughts?

[todokori-kun]

‘I’d even ship him with Shuu’ what have you done now I’m actually shipping that (Shuu trying to be his usual romantic, flirtatious self and then realising Urie either doesn’t get it or doesn’t want to get it)

I KNOW IT’S SO SAD

TG’s quality does seem to be going down a bit these last few chapters (I think the real problem started with the Touken romance. I swear I’m not being salty about a ship I don’t particularly like being canon, I just feel like the pacing was a bit bad…Touka’s ‘are you a virgin’ came completely out of the blue, plus Touken has hardly interacted in Re before the recent chapters. It’s been YEARS since they’ve seen each other, wouldn’t things have changed? Neither of them are teenagers anymore. Both of them have grown and changed, but Touka chose not to stay near Kaneki and watch his growth, while Kaneki had no way to see how Touka’s experiences gradually changed her. But Ishida decided to suddenly make it canon and then start focusing on the Touka-Kaneki-Mutsuki triangle to the point where it feels like he’s abandoning his other plot threads… kind of like what Isayama’s been doing lately.).

However, I believe that Ishida is completely capable of making things better if he wants to (remember, he still has the Hide trump card- bring Hide back in a believable way that nobody has predicted and also adds to the story, and I imagine most of the fandom will forgive everything that’s gone wrong in Re so far) so I’ll stick around. Plus, I’ve just gotten too attached to all the characters ;-;

Ugh, y'know, even if it wouldn’t fit very well with all the implied Mutsurie, I wish Ishida would just pull a plot twist and make Ken/Urie or Urie/Saiko canon.

I think I kinda hate centipedes now.

1: Yeah, I don’t think that’s Mutsuki’s hand either (like you said, it looked pretty 'fresh’. Plus, I have no idea how Mutsuki would have gotten one of the limbs Torso cut off). The only reason I mentioned it was because of the parallel with Torso showing Mutsuki their own hand with a wedding ring on it…Ishida loves his symbolism so I thought this might actually matter to the plot.

2: I think it was probably either a stranger or an acquaintance, since she seems slightly surprised and not exactly 'happy’ to see this person, but not afraid or displeased either. I’m scared…why would Ishida not show us who it was if it wasn’t something important? If things went well Yoriko’s probaby just gained some knowledge about what’s going on (perhaps she’s been told where Touka is and why she can’t come to the wedding?), but if not…perhaps a villain’s blackmailing her…idk :(

3: I want to believe that too, but I’m not sure yet. If there’s a reason for Yoriko looking so serious then that might be connected with the mystery character who greeted her when she was out shopping.

Thank you, that really means a lot to me <3 What I’m really worried about right now is that I go to a piano 'hagwon’ (a cram school of sorts, I guess?) and this year they’re going to do a small concert. Everyone who goes to the hagwon has to play a song and I have no idea how I’m going to do this ;-; just trying to look a person in the eyes when I’m talking to them scares me, how am I supposed to get on the stage in front of a crowd (a small crowd, since everyone there to see the concert will be the parents/family of the kids participating, but seriously). Things are just a bit complicated XD

Adorable Shuu. I guess that would just make me tease him even more LOL I’d probably ruin all his dramatic moments.

(Now that I think about it, though, Shuu and I have similar interests: music, fashion, art, literature…though I guess he’s a lot more interested in food than I am haha)

Oh, I’m so glad you liked them! I tried my best ;)

I actually like doing matchup things so that may be why they’re acceptable…if I ever get a tumblr account I think I’d like to make a scenario/hc/matchup blog.

As for Storm in Lover, yep, that was from your 'the names are weird’ message XD after I decided to add Love Live into the headcanons I ended up going on YT to listen to a few of the songs. They were all really cool, but it just felt like Storm in Lover would be Urie’s guilty pleasure song (or maybe that’s just because I ended up likng SiL way more than I was prepared for?)

BLOW US ALL AWAY QUEEN LUNA

I’M GLAD MY HUMBLE HEADCANONS COULD HELP

I WILL WRITE MORE

AS MANY AS YOU NEED TO GET THROUGH NEXT WEEK

(Seriously tho

-since your hair is either 'too long and in a ponytail’ or 'really short and in a ponytail’, Urie is secretly very, very disappointed when you’re wearing it short. He likes playing with your hair when you’re too busy watching TV or reading to notice he’s being cute ok

-short or long, whenever Urie gets a hold of your hair, he WILL style it. Don’t you dare say no to the Captain of the Q squad. A simple ponytail? Unacceptable.

-Saiko approves of this relationship

-So would Sasaki, if Sasaki still existed

-Shirazu approves from beyond the grave

-Mutsuki doesn’t care)

Thanks! <33 And yeah, I think I’m slowly starting to get the hang of it ^^

I find all of those moments very relatable. Golfishes unite! :D

Burr is one of those weirdly shippable characters that almost every fandom seems to have…

And oh, I see! Honestly Tony is still one of my favorite avengers…RDJ really brings him to life. And if you’ve seen Captain America I definitely recommend The Winter Soldier and Civil War (next movies in the series)! So much Bucky angst ;-; Also the Thor movies, because I have a feeling you might like Loki.

Some of the best Loki quotes:

“Well done, you’ve just decaptitated your grandfather!”

“An ant has no quarrel with a boot.”

“Freedom is life’s great lie.”

“Oh dear, is she dead?”

Btw, do you remember the time I said I’d write a Heathers one-shot on the Yoi blog and never did? I think I’m getting over my writer’s block so maybe I can write that one-shot and submit it here?(And if that’s ok, do you maybe have any suggestions for which character I could use? I was going to write it as a Yuuri/reader but that doesn’t seem to fit so well anymore, so I might go with a TG character…I’d also like to use a character you like, since you’ll probably be the only person reading it ^^;;)

Speaking of Heathers though, when you have the time, is it ok if I try to drag you into that fandom again? Along with Dear Evan(s) Hansen. It’ll hurt you very, very badly but it’ll probably be worth it.

Oh dear, even more rarepairs. And I’m the one who ‘invented’ this one. Well, like I’ve said, as long as Urie is happy, I don’t care about whom he’s with. 

ISHIDA IS A GHOUL, ONLY HE DOESN’T LIVE OFF OF DEAD HUMANS, HE LIVES OFF OF PEOPLE’S SUFFERING!!!

Honestly, you’ve voiced my thoughts perfectly. I can’t help but get irritated at all the changes that have been happening. For me, it started around the time we found out about Mutsuki’s past. I mean, can’t we have one character who had a nice childhood and isn’t insane deep inside? At this point, basically everything is overdoing it for me. Let them have a break. A nice moment. A single day without a centipede or someone dying.  TG is slowly turning into shoujo manga. A sick, twisted shoujo manga, but a romantic one. That is the one thing I didn’t want from it. It was actually nice to have a manga without pointless crushes which play an important role in the plot, for a change. Guess I was wrong.

Dude, I don’t care who he kills, if Ishida brings Hide back, he is automatically forgiven for everything and anything. Well, I would care if he killed characters like, but other than that, he’s free to kill anyone he wants (like Furuta (or maaaaybe Mutsuki, but I’d like it better if they redeemed themselves (though that might be difficult))).

I just… I want the cookie to be happy. And Mutsuki is definitely not making him happy.

Gaaah, so many questions and symbolisms, it’s making my head hurt. Here’s my theory: This is a huge setup for everyone to be happy. Mutsuki will run away to New Zealand or something and restart their life, Kaneki and Touka will get married (tho I don’t quite ship it, whatever, as long as they’re happy), Urie will realise he’s loved Saiko all along and she’ll be there waiting for him. Kanae is actually alive and so is Hide. Kanae and Shuu get married. Hide finds himself a nice girlfriend (or boyfriend, not gonna discriminate), opens a pet shop and is happy.

Everyone is happy. 

Okay, but imagine this au: ghouls don't exist and there's no reason for so much suffering. Kaneki and Touka are two kids who knew each other from school and now run a coffee shop together. The Q squad went ri the same class and Saiko alway loved Urie. He recently realised it. And so on.

Ah, I definitely know how you feel. I went to music school as well, and we had yearly (or half-yearly, depending on how long you’ve played the piano) recitals. My method of calming down was to imagine I was at home, alone and just practicing. There was no one around me, and it didn’t matter if I messed up. I could always start again. Also, the audience was vegetables, as far as my imagination was concerned. It did help.

I know you can do it (๑و•̀ω•́)و You’re a fighter! The great Evans who can always cheer me up when I’m down. If I’m the queen, then you’re the king! All hail king Evans who’ll kick the recital’s butt!

Oh you would ruin all his moments, and it would be the most amazing thing ever. I’d always laugh at it, cause he’d be denied of all his theatrics.

They’re not ‘acceptable’, they’re absolutely perfect. I seriously can’t thank you enough, because they were very nice cheer-up material after a whole morning of cramming my two least favourite subjects. I’m pretty sure you’d do amazing if you got a blog. You do have amazing talent for writing.

Oh my~ Would you mind then if I listed a few more songs, my favourites?

Yozora wa nandemo shitteru no?

Bokutachi wa Hitotsu no Hikari (there’s a bit of talking in this one, it’s hard to find a version that’s not sped up)

Omoi yo hitotsu ni nare

Mijuku dreamer

Guilty Eyes Fever

soldier game

Thrilling・One Way

Ookay, I’m done ^^ I’m telling you, Idol Hell is very subtle. You won’t even realise you’ve been dragged into it huehuehuehuehuehuehue

Aaand there goes my heart, again. I have no words to thank you enough for writing those, since they help me keep my sanity.

however, we know whom we’d like from TG, but what about other fandoms we share? AoT? YoI? Kuroshitsuji?

Yeah, I’ve been told many times that I’d like Loki, but strictly looks-wise, I must admit I prefer his brother, and I prefer him very much. Idk, I just have a thing for guys with slightly longer hair.

All of that sounds suspiciously like something I’d say…

Of course, feel free to submit anything here!  As for the musicals, I’d be happy to listen to them, but after this week is over, because exams. Then, I’ll listen to both Heathers and Dear Evan(s) Hansen, despite the feels ^^

[wishingfornever]

2/22/2018 – No Contact:  Siesta Thursday

I woke up at 8… fell asleep.  Woke up at 11.  Fell asleep.  Woke up at 1.  Staying awake.

Several dreams.  The first dream was about my boss’s boss’s boss. Supposed to be a woman.  Dreamed I was speaking with her but I can’t remember her face.  Makes sense, since I have yet to see her face. Second dream… Esther.  This one was different than recent Esther dreams.  We were sitting in a room with other people, I was bored and she asked me if I wanted to read an article for couples who broke up and are trying to get back together again.  I considered not going, but I reminded myself that I’d do everything I can to keep her. So, I said, “Actually, I would like that very much.”

Finally, the last dream I had, I was reminded that Esther and I no longer speak to each other and this saddened me.  I fell asleep and I was crying, speaking to these people who weren’t really there.  The room was dark.  It was night.  There was this woman there as well as several others.  The woman wasn’t Ariel, but I had told this woman I loved her but I could never love her as much as I love Ariel.  Then while I was crying, I rolled over to see the door open.  I was alone at this time and I thought it was this same woman and I told her I’m sorry when she approached me.  She got close enough and I tried to kiss her but she pulled back.  As did I.

I realized it was my cousin, and apparently she was fired from her job and she was massively depressed, though she wanted to be fired.  I reassured her, she left my room, I looked outside to this alleyway (that isn’t there in rl, it’s just these apartments out my window) and I saw a lot of rain.  A lot of Mexicans too, like we were actually in Mexico and not a part of Houston that is heavily populated by Mexicans… which wouldn’t be too inaccurate to say, tbh.

Regardless, something told me they were Mexicans.  I saw a couple walk down the street and I was jealous.  Then I saw a man hit another man on the back of his head with a club.  Then the police came.  It was a mess.

Perhaps that dream was a reminder that I worry too much about myself when the world outside my window has… well, the burdens of the world.  Criminals, cops, and lovers.  Idk.

Anyways, the Boss’s Boss’s Boss.  Triple B.  She was supposed to inspect the store today.  Yesterday, I closed.  I did a poor job but I discovered… energy shots make my nose itch.  It makes sense but I don’t have concrete evidence just yet.  It’s very peculiar. Might have something to do with stress?  Idk.

Customers are nice to me at work.  I don’t know how to react.  Several days ago, a woman tried to give me a bag of potato chips and a liter of pepsi.  I told her I don’t drink soda and don’t like chips.  She was nice and I felt horrible for saying no.  Yesterday, I had a can of pringles and a two liter of root beer.  I feel like an ass.

Of course, I hated the pringles and the two liter was to fix my water bottle which had become so dented I needed some carbonation to undent it.  Worked great, btw.

I was given a box of chinese food from a coworker.  Walked home with that.  I have to say, it wasn’t my finest moment.  Reason being is that there was chicken in it.  I felt bad for that.  I’m trying to be as vegetarian as possible.  :/

Regardless, I ate everything.  So consider 21st of February the last day I had meat.  I’ll count until the next day I inevitably cheat. We’ll see.

My manager, the one I closed with last night…  I legitimately think he hates Mexicans.  Dan is his name.  He’s the one who referred to customers as “Wetbacks” and on Monday (several days ago) said kid’s in the store were running loose because their parents were irresponsibly drinking and having a party a little bit down the way. I said “Oh, it’s Monday.  Mondays are the worst days for partying.”

“Mexicans don’t care,” he said.  “They party every night if they could and we have to deal with their kids because of it.”

The last comment, though perhaps not blatantly racist, didn’t sit right with me.  The way he said Mexican… that was an issue I had.

Ironically, I had mentioned to the store manager (Jack) of Dan’s “Wetbacks” comment and how it caught me SO off guard.  This wasn’t me reporting, I was just gabbing.  That day when he said “Mexicans don’t care,” I found out he told Berenice, a shift manager like Dan.  I asked him not to tell Dan about it.  I don’t want to get involved in Workplace drama and if he knew I was gossiping, there would be a major conflict of interests and working would be… difficult.

I hate working with Dan.  He smells, his breath smells, and he’s kind of a hassle.  Bad days are made worse with him.  I don’t have a lot of faith when working with him.  He complains A LOT.  Like so much. One of those.  I try to be polite, but god damn.  Like, he swears up and down that the store would fall apart without him (not those exact words, mind you).

Admittedly, he’s the only one who can do some chores because he is the only manager with a car.  But, still.  Some of the places he claims to have organized are kind of… crap.

I wonder if I’m just too extensive in my job or if everyone has phoned it in.  I swear I’ve phoned it in but I’ve been wrong before.

So, remember how I wanted to message Marjane Satrapi?  Ask her for advice?  Not feeling so confident, so I won’t be doing that.  I looked, and it’s probably a fan page I saw.  I don’t have any chance in hell to get guidance from her.

It’s a shame. When she stopped identifying as Iranian, I could relate.  When growing up, I pretended I wasn’t Mexican.  My dad sort of made it out to be bad, so I thought so too.  Now, I don’t want to identify as American but I don’t have anything else to be.

Dennis used to give me a hard time calling me, “Half-Breed.”  A lot.  It hurt more than I’d let on, but I ignored it.  Whenever I mocked him, he was quick to say, “omg, wtf dude?!” but I never pointed it out.  I guess I would have when dealing with Esther, but I was too emotional then.  Might still be now.

He also called me “Mama’s Boy” a lot with Adriana which wasn’t as bad as half-breed because it was always my dad I had to call or whatever.  I knew otherwise but half-breed… eh.

Whatever.  Not trying to shit on Dennis for busting my balls.  We all did it.  Shane was the worst at it, though.  Like, laughably bad.  Fun times.

Right, Marjane.

I was hoping to get into a discussion with a fellow Marxist and discuss life… how to approach my dad, tell her about Esther, tell her my troubles, just… I need someone I feel I can relate with.  Someone wiser than me.  I won’t get that with my parents because my dad is part of the problem and my mom is too invested in me.

I really feel alone.

Tomorrow, I’ll message Esther.  I’ll call my dad, too.  Esther I will try to make quick.  I’ll ask her if she’ll want me to change her name or whatever.  Try to keep her identities secret.  If not, I’ll keep the names how they are because… well, I’m lazy and I really don’t feel like changing ALL the names on a whim.  But if she wants me to, I’ll listen.  If she blocks me without saying a word, then I’ll assume she doesn’t mind.

Whatever the case, I’ll make it quick.  Let her know I still care… perhaps she’ll see that and open up dialogue again.  Won’t amount to much, but if there is a chance then this is the way to get there.

Of course, the worst case scenario is she blocks me immediately.  The most likely scenario is that she messages me to tell me “Change my name” and then blocks me without saying anything else.  The second to best case scenario is that she tells me to change her name, tells me she wishes me well, and then blocks me.

I can almost guarantee dialogue beyond that.  Life hasn’t been kind to me, but… idk.  Maybe sometime this year, things will get better.

Strangely enough, despite what’s happened since January, I feel like this may be my year.  I mean, it started poorly… and continues to be mediocre, but there are a lot of things that are being released that appeals to my interests.  Like, Age of Empires Definitive Edition is released (not for steam yet).  Kingdom Come Deliverance (which has a bad title) is supposed to be pretty neat, if you can get past his HUGE forehead.  Rome II Total War has more DLC being released for it for SOME FUCKING REASON.  Doki Doki Literature club is a graphic novel about poetry… poetry.

I can’t play of these things, yet.  Like, AoE isn’t for steam or Windows 8, KDC is too graphically intensive, Rome II DLC hasn’t been released yet or I refuse to get at full price, and DDLC is free to download but I won’t be downloading it yet.  Why not?  I don’t know, I figure I’d wait a little while to play through it myself but it’s already been spoiled for me so no rush.

Adela didn’t go to work today.  She was too sick.  Which is great because Max wasn’t in here.  So, I sort of slept in if you say taking a nap at about noon is sleeping at noon.  I have yet to eat and it’s 5. She’s going to barre soon and she’ll leave Max with me.  I think I’ll do some exercise, weigh myself after, have breakfast, then do the dishes.

I look a lot thinner than I used to.  I’ve lost a lot of belly weight.  I also feel stronger than I have in months.  I’ve never felt stronger which is perhaps to say I’ve never been weaker.  I’m ashamed to admit that.  But, I’ll get over it.

Speaking of getting over it, Max is in the room now.  He is something of a pest as of late and has been avoiding me.  He used to be super chill with me but something’s happened.  Now when we’re in the same room, he pesters me until I let him out.  He REALLY doesn’t want to even be in the same level as me.  Like, he waits downstairs when I’m in the room and when I’m downstairs he’ll be upstairs.

Hrm… Perhaps this started when we stopped giving him treats?  I can’t even remember.

He was walking over the keyboard as I was typing.  Unfortunately, his anxiety worsened when discord went “BLEEP” and that scared the crap out of him.  So, that makes him want to walk on the keyboard. And Max has the worst breath (not as bad as Dan’s, though).

Now that I think about it, everyone at work has bad breath.  I hate it. But I’m reminded of myself because I don’t bathe a lot when I’m depressed and I was depressed for a very long time.  :/

Eh. I’m bathing more than I ever had and I’ve never been so… emotionally unstable.  Things change, I guess.

About to walk max.  Tried to brush my hair.  Looked in the mirror. Smiled.

I look like the joker if he were chunkier and more Mexican.  The comic book joker.  The joker there is super skinny, but I have his angry looking smile.  Erm…

The reason for this is because I shaved yesterday.  No more beard.  It’ll grow back.  But… I probably shouldn’t shave.

That said, I now way 241.5 pounds.  What is that in Metric?  Not sure. The US is dumb.  But that’s pretty light.  Last time I measured myself, I weighed a bit more.  I’m still losing weight, but at a slow rate.