#i mean... the beetles clothing reference is cool and all

[mochaaaaaaaa]

W.i.p. of a remake of the G'joob Halloween costume that I made on Halloween!!!

I'm gonna be so honest here but....

G'joob. I love him so much. He'll always be my most favorite monster in the whole entire game of msm. But his Halloween costume is SO BAD 😭😭😭 he's one of the monsters in msm with the worst costumes in my opinion...... When I first played msm, and was getting used to the game, I started to like G'joob more and more, and I realized that I hadn't seen his costume yet, so when I decided to check, I was SO DISAPPOINTED 😭☠️ that never stopped me from wasting all of my diamonds on the costume, though at 2023's Spooktacle!!!!!! 💖💝💗💖

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Hello there! I've been thinking a lot about the parallels between Atsushi and Sigma lately(their clothes in their respective flashbacks looking the same,how they're both curled in similar positions with locked up,their faces looking alike when they panic,and Dazai openly saying Sigma reminds him if Atsushi).

With all these comparmemts I've been reminded of hoe Atsushi also apparently has a connection to the book like Sigma does,with Fitzgerald saying that Atsushi is the "tiger beetle" that he needs to find the book in the Guild arc.

I was wondering if you had any theories on what this could mean for Atsushi's character since its been something that's been relatively ignored for a while now which is odd considering Atsushi is the Mc and in other series this would have likely been addressed more but then again we don't really know much about Atsushi as protagonist,but aside from that,any thoughts?

Oh yeah, the parallels between Sigma and Atsushi are numerous to say the least.

About Atsushi: I’ve made a couple theories about him and his connection to the Book, namely

I think it’s possible him and Akutagawa have the capacity to create a singularity that is the only thing that could destroy it or its “seal”. (The tiger claws can cut through anything including abilities/Beast Dazai zeroing in on some kind of singularity they can make which will be necessary somehow, when the tiger claws can’t really be a singularity because there’s no inherent contradiction as far as I’m aware)

Atsushi has two abilities - one is the blue crystal from Dead Apple which is a latent power related to the Book that is “stored” within him for safekeeping. The tiger is a defensive ability specifically for the purpose of protecting it - the red crystal.

About Sigma, I don’t have as much but I did come up with a really weird concept that Sigma was the “main character” of his parallel world. This would explain

Why he has so many notable similarities with Atsushi.

Why his memories are missing - because without the protagonist, his fragile parallel timeline collapsed and now no longer exists.

To be clear I don’t think this is what actually is going to be revealed with Sigma (it’s far more likely he just had his memories written out or there’s some kind of failsafe to keep him from retrieving them - like the “no law enforcement will believe the agency” caveat) but it’s fun to theorize. I wrote up a big post on everything we know about the Book so far, including character connections; if you haven’t already seen that, you can check that out! I intended it as a helpful reference for theory making in the first place.

If you do think up an interesting theory about these two or notice something else cool, feel free to drop me another ask and explain it! :)

[evilphrog]

Watching Wheel of Time without reading the books: episode 4

Continuing this because it blew up much bigger than I expected it to.  Okay, folks, here are my thoughts on the new episode:

New theory: the dragon is actually all 5 of them.  They were reincarnated into 5 different bodies, for reasons I am not yet sure of.  But yeah, Nynaeve, Egwene, Perrin, Mat, and Rand are ALL one soul split into fifths.  Makes sense for why they are so devoted to each other, and universally supportive/forgiving of each other.

I really thought for a second that Mat had killed that family.  Like one, single, soul-crushing second. I thought the evil knife possessed him and he was going to have to wake up to the knowledge that his own actions directly led to him killing them.  And then I realized he was trying to protect them from the Eyeless, and my heart broke even more.  I can see his guilt complex blaming himself entirely, because he took the girl’s protection doll, and because he couldn’t stop the eyeless.  

Thom is very interesting as a character.  He says he knows the past.  I can’t figure out if he means that he remembers his previous lives, or that he studies history.  I love that his main concern upon suspecting Mat of drawing on the One Power is to protect him and keep him safe.  Getting strong shipper eyes for those two.  Mat has daddy issues as it is, I could see this working for both of them.  I might just see this because I am projecting hard onto Mat.  

My understanding of how magic works so far: men and women tap into the One Power from different sources.  The dark one tainted the source from which men draw their power, which causes them to go insane.  This can be very destructive, which is why magic is outlawed for men. But it also appears that men who draw on magic mostly do so by accident.  I get the impression everyone is connected to the One Power, and it is a source of their life force or energy or reincarnation or something.  Gentling severs that connection.  Thom said it is horrible for men who have tasted the power, but it must also be horrible for men who haven’t.  Otherwise, I feel like it would be common practice to just gentle every man upon birth, so they don’t risk falling into madness on accident.  Do people who are gentled lose the ability to be reincarnated?

The Aes Sedai interacting gave me flashbacks to middle school lunch tables.  The blonde one with the red robes I am going to refer to as JK Rowling from now on.  I know she has a name and  it starts with L, but she is 100% JK Rowling.  Anyways, she is the girl in middle school who has rich parents and can wear all Abercrombie clothes, who understands makeup before anyone else. By contrast, Moirane seems to be the girl who has a hyperfixation on insects and tries to connect with the other girls by showing them a really cool beetle she found on the playground.  I now have the understanding that she basically ran away, and I can see why.  She doesn’t really fit in with the other Aes Sedai any better than she does with the villagers.  Lan is basically her only friend in the world.  A few of the other Aes Sedai are willing to be nice to her privately, and seem to want to show support, but they ultimately follow whatever JK Rowling says because they don’t want to be kicked out of the lunch table and have to go eat in the bathroom.  Getting a strong feeling that JK Rowling orchestrated everything that happened there, because the only person to die was the one who spoke against her, and she got her way in the end, being able to gentle the false dragon.  

The nomad people, I am pretty sure, is where my husband derives his entire life philosophy.  He follows the way of the leaf for sure.  Listening to the grandma explain that the best revenge against death is life, and the best revenge against violence is peace, it gave me a huge insight for how my husband read these books as a child and how they shaped his life.  This is the opposite of the bartender believing the only way to end the cycle is to end the world.  This is “If the world is cyclical anyways, everything will happen as it is supposed to.  I do not have to go against my morals to make hard choices, because the choices have already been made and everything will play out as it is supposed to regardless.”  This is the same belief system interpreted in wildly different ways, and I appreciate that juxtaposition.  If the wheel keeps turning, why NOT choose to lay down your arms and accept death when it comes, secure in the belief that the world you are reincarnated into might be more peaceful?  I also love the mythology of the Song, and how the elders take religion much more seriously than the children.  That is a nice touch of realistic world-building.  Pretty sure the nomads are all low-key psychic.  Possibly drawing unconsciously from the One Power, but at a low enough level that they don’t get madness?

I hope Perrin finds immense healing in that life philosophy.  He is such a fantastic character.  Side note, but I love the actor who portrays him.  I don’t know that I could successfully portray “Appears vacant and stupid to others on purpose, but inside his mind is swirling with complex thoughts that he will not voice until he has them solidified in his head 5 days later.”  He does such a good job of showing extreme intelligence that he prefers to keep hidden from others.  I don’t think Perrin sees himself as intelligent, but he clearly is.  He seems like one of those uncommonly gifted and sweet and caring people, and when others tell him how rare and special he is, he doesn’t believe them.  He thinks most people are the same as him.  

The more I learn about Lan, the more my original impression holds true.  He is horny for anyone who can kick his ass, especially Nyneave.  They will 100% bone.  His warder buddies certainly seem to think he has a type, which has me wondering about his past.  I had originally read him as totally asexual, but he just isn’t isn’t attracted to Moiraine.  The two of them talking in the tent was hilarious.  

Moiraine: states facts, but also displays loyalty. Holds his hand, but still speaks neutrally.

Lan: God, you’re so emotional when I drink.  

Probably gonna make a few memes of them later, because they are RIDICULOUS. Remind me of Amy Santiago and Captain Holt trying to express affection for each other. I loved getting to see Lan with his warder buddies.  It was interesting that two of the other warders are clearly in a triad with each other and the one Aes Sedai.  That side bit let me know that A) yes warders and their Aes Sedai can be romantic, Lan and Moiraine just don’t see each other that way. B) homosexuality and polyamory are actually super normal in this world. There was a lot of world-building packed into that one little scene.  

I had Nyneave all wrong before.  She projects the unhinged full agro vibes because it is her armor against fear.  Very “courage is not the absence of fear, but choosing to do the right thing in spite of it” of her.  It appears that she tries to keep that persona on to stave off the panic attacks?  Wonder if her developing relationship with Lan will have her reworking her coping skills, since she seems to be more and more inclined to let her guard down around him.  Interesting that her village was invaded when she was a young child.  Explains a lot about her.  Was that the village of the two rivers, or another village?  I can’t remember if she moved there later.  If not, man that village has some shitty luck.  Love how she chose to hang with the warders, and not with the Aes Sedai.  Reminded me of Kaylee in firefly at the fancy ball surrounded by dudes asking about engine maintenance.  She’s actually not surly and a loner.  She just only opens up around people she feels comfortable with.  I was so glad to get to see a softer side of her.

Edit: I forgot to say, but I was super excited at the tiny touch of realism that the family at the farm had two Mediterranean parents with blonde children. I never see it portrayed on TV because I assume many white audiences would not believe the kids are biologically related to the parents.  I was so excited I basically screamed when I saw the kids.  It is such a tiny detail that probably meant nothing to anyone else, but it was huge for me.  (For non-Arabs, our hair frequently starts out blonde, then darkens up as we age. I have no idea why, and have never bothered to ask or look it up)

Other episode reviews

[lesvegas]

The Rat Pack Lexicon, or Frankenspeak

In the 1960's the Rat Pack created their own language. It was a mixture of slang and cool terms that helped make them undisputably the ‘kings of cool’ in their heyday in Las Vegas.

Decided to paste the whole glossary from here just so we can have it on tumblr. Under a readmore because it’s long as hell. Original post (some definitions were cut off).

18 Karat All the way, full-out: "An 18 karat idiot."

Baby Used as an exclamation as well as a term of endearment.

Bag A person's particular interest; as in "singing's my bag"  

Barn Burner A very stylish, classy woman  

Beard A male friend who acts as a "cover"; usually for extramarital affairs  

Beetle A girl who dresses in flashy clothes  

Big-Leaguer A resourceful man who can handle any situation

  Big Casino Death  

Bird The male or female genitalia; standard greeting: "How's your bird"?

  Bombsville Any kind of failure in life; see ville

Broad Affectionate term for a girl or woman with sex appeal

Bum A person who is despised, most frequently linked to people in the media

Bunter A man who fails in almost everything he does; the opposite of gasser

Cash Out Leave, as in "Cash me out of this party" = "I'm leaving."

Charley What the rat-packers called one another  

Charlies Admiring word for a woman's breasts

Chick A young and invariably pretty girl

Clam-Bake A party or get-together.

Clyde A word used to cover a multitude of personal observations; e.g., "I don't like her clyde" means "I don't like her voice", etc.  

Coo-Coo! See crazy  

Cool A term of admiration for a person or place. An alternative word meaning the same thing is crazy.

Crazy A term of admiration for a personal, place, or thing; similar to cool.

Creep A man who is disliked for any reason

Croaker A derogatory term for a doctor.

Crumb A person it is impossible to respect

Dame A generally derogatory term for a probably unattractive woman

Dig A term of appreciation; e.g., "I dig that broad."

Dimmer Eyes (as in "I gotta see the croaker about my bad dimmers.")

"Drop it, charley" Change the conversation; see "good night, all”

Duke Tip  

  Dying An exaggerated term to mean slightly upset; e.g. "I'm dying"

End A word to signify that someone or something is the very best; "the living end"

Endsville Total failure; similar to bombsville; see ville

Fink A person who cannot be relied upon or trusted, especially someone in the media; a crumb  

First Base The start of something, usually applied in terms of failure when someone has failed to reach it.

Fracture To make laugh; as in "that fractures me"

Gas A great situation; as in "that set was a gas"

Gasoline Alcohol

Gasser A highly admired person; the end!

Gofer Someone who performs menial jobs and tasks; "go for drinks"

Good Night All A term of invective used to change the subject of conversation

Groove A term of admiration or approval; as in "in the groove"

Harvey A person who acts in a stupid or naive fashion; sometimes shortened to "Harv"

Hacked Angry; as in "he's hacked off"

Hello! A cry of surprise to no one in particular when a beautiful woman is seen

Hey-Hey Indulging in anything of a sexual nature with a woman.

Hunker A jack-of-all-trades; see gopher

Jokes An actor's lines in a screenplay

Let's Lose Charley A term used among intimates who want to get rid of a bore in their company  

Little Hey-Hey Romance; a little action with a broad

Locked-up As in "all locked-up," a term for a forthcoming date or engagement, private or public  

Loser Anyone who has made a mess of their life, drinks too much, makes the wrong enemies, etc.

Mish-Mash Similar to loser, but refers specifically to a woman who is messed up

Mothery Terrific; wild and wicked

Mouse Usually a small, very feminine girl who invites being cuddled

Nowhere A term of failure as in "he's nowhere."

  Odds Used in connection with important decisions, as in "the odds aren't right," meaning it's a no go

Original Loser A person without talent; sometimes more fully expressed as "He is the original Major Bowes Amateur Hour loser  

Pallie Dean's nickname for everyone, whether a lifelong friend or a bellhop  

Platinum Having a big heart, generous. "You're platinum, pussycat!"

Player A man who is a gambler by nature, makes friends easily, and never gives up trying

Punks Any undesirables, in particular criminals, gangsters, or mobsters

Quin Derisive term for a woman who is an easy pick-up

  Rain As in "I think it's going to rain" indicating that it is time to leave a dull gathering or party  

Ring-a-Ding A term of approval, as in "What a ring-a-ding broad!"

Sam Used in the same way as Charley for a person whose name has been forgotten, most often applied to females

Scam To cheat at gambling, as in "Hey, what's the scam?"

Scramsville To run off

Sharp A person who dresses well and with style

Smashed A word used to describe someone who is drunk. On occasions it has been replaced with "pissed."

Solid Definite, reliable. (Note: this was also used by Linc in "The Mod Squad.")

Square A person of limited character, not unlike a harvey.

Swing v. To hang out and drink, smoke, sing, generally get real loose.

Ta-Ta Goodbye

Tomato As in "a ripe tomato" a woman ready for seduction or even marriage.

Twirl A girl who loves dancing

Ville A suffix used to indicate changes in any given situation; see endsville, splitsville, etc

Witchdoctor Member of the clergy.

Wow-ee Wow Wow Figured importantly in the Rat Pack lexicon for a while in the late 50s and early 60s. It was an expression of glee, joyful anticipation and a euphemism for lubricious fun.

The following examples are a fictitious sample of Frank in conversation using his infamous lexicon:

The English version

The bartender gives me another drink. The gathering is dull, with a surfeit of ugly women and men unworthy of respect and an insufficient number of attractive ladies and easy-going fellows. I spot an untrustworthy-looking man over by the jukebox making overtures to a woman. He fancies himself an impressive fellow, flirting with this woman who is more than just another sweet thing to cuddle with. In fact, she is extraordinary. I am awestruck by her beauty.

Now the would-be Romeo is leaning closer, pressing his romantic attack. So I cast my gaze in her direction. She gazes back: A confident connection is made. She crosses the room, stands beside me, orders a drink, tells a joke that I find quite amusing, then says she found her previous companion uninteresting. I like her and believe the reverse is also true. I sense the party is on its last legs and say so. We leave.

The Frank version

The barkeep fills me up with gas. The joint ain't hopping; it's no clambake, brother - too many dames and crumbs, not enough broads and players. I spot a fink over by the jukebox making the moves. He thinks he's a big-leaguer, scamming on a chick who - hello! - is more than a mouse. An 18-karat barn-burner, boy- the end. Ring a ding!

Now the big-leaguer's leaning closer, feeding her a line, but she's not biting. It's bombsville. He's nowhere; he knows it, and so do I. So I shoot the broad a come-hither look, and she shoots back: Solid. She crosses the room, sidles up next to me, gasses up, tells a joke that fractures me and says the big-leaguer was a Harve. I dig her, and she digs me. "I think it's going to rain," I say. And just like that, we're scramsville.

[sepublic]

Bessie & MicroAngelo!

           THEY KILLED THE KING OF DEMONS AAAGGGGHHHH-

           In all seriousness, that King cameo is GREAT, and especially in reference to magic as well! Too bad magic just isn’t Anne’s thing, alas… And honestly, I think King would lowkey be flattered to be paid tribute like this; Or high-key, he’s not one for subtlety! But let me tell you, Bernardo was serving LOOKS here; Even if they didn’t fit her, that last suit of golden beetle armor was just… SSSOOOO GOOOD! I know I keep saying it, but Amphibia really manages to land its armor design, it rubs just about everything I love, it’s sleek and ornate… First the Newt guards, and now Anne’s armor! Satisfyingly, it’s from THAT armor that Anne chooses her simple cuirass… But again, that armor is a LOOK, it gives me pure serotonin just looking at, it’s just so COOL and hits all the right spots, the perfect balance between what I like- It’s just GOOD! It just hits right, there’s a certain Je ne sais quoi to it, a distinct style and fashionable, yet sleek and slender and functional, design to it!

           Whoever designs armor and in general outfits for Amphibia, I want to shake your hand…! And I guess Bernardo’s, in-universe and all. He might seem a bit snobby, but he respects and appreciates Anne’s minimalist approach, so I must respect HIM for that as well!

           Oh yeah, we’ve also got Bessie and MicroAngelo… Admittedly, this thread kind of took a backseat for Anne’s fashion show and character development, but I still enjoyed it! I love how droopy Bessie’s design is, and I like that MicroAngelo isn’t just some one-off character for a gag, who inexplicably disappears; Things DO change, the status quo is upended, and the family is growing even bigger! Seeing Anne’s photo tacked onto Bessie’s family photo made my heart melt, and then the MicroAngelo drawing too…!

           Anne wanting to stick to her normal design says a lot about her character, applies to it in very meta ways, etc. She’s the simple, humble one- The one with ties back home, while Marcy and Sasha seem the ones most likely to stay in Amphibia for their own reasons… Marcy for escapism, Sasha for power; And both don’t really show anything else to go back home to! Obviously we don’t get the chance because there’s not as much focus to suggest family… But everything about Sasha screams a toxic family, and Marcy admits to being more or less alone back on earth.

           Anne is the one who remembers her past and cultural ties, she’s got that ‘human’ connection, moreso than her other human friends. And, I love the commentary on her learning to appreciate herself, now that she’s accepted her own faults and mistakes, taking accountability for them as a part of who she is; But still finding hope in herself, that kind of beauty… But also, that makeover montage and the IMPLICATIONS of it was great, and hilarious! However, I do have to wonder if like, the makeovers by Sasha and Marcy are also lowkey symbolic of them having some control over Anne, putting her into a role for their sake… Anne as Marcy’s protector, and as Sasha’s best friend…

           It’s neat to see her acknowledge her lack of clothing change compared to the rest, but how Anne still owns up to it! And yeah, she can wear armor, not just for practicality, but I think because she no longer has to worry about who she is, Anne recognizes that part of herself, so she can freely experiment and play around with it a bit more, while still clearly staying true to herself. I like Anne, it seems she’s always had self-image issues, felt like there was something wrong with herself, that she needed to change and be a chameleon for the sake of others…

           But, she’s begun to learn to be herself more; She learned to acknowledge the good… And with Valeriana’s help, Anne ALSO acknowledged the bad and ugly parts of her as well! She’s fully seen and recognized the entirety of herself, her true self… And this of course means self-acceptance! And small detail, but I love Anne being able to engage in self-reflection through Frobo, it’s adorable and neat how he’s more part of the family and helping Anne with this kind of soul-searching, I like it!

           I like Anne learning to come to terms with herself and accept that, so she can change and improve; And I have to wonder if that contrasts to Marcy and Sasha, who both play roles, perhaps in the wish that they could be someone they’re not… Marcy wanting to be cool and charming, Sasha wanting to be powerful and in control? Anne doesn’t play pretend, she knows who she is, she has the Courage to recognize that. She faced her greatest and most terrifying opponent, herself- Something the others haven’t done so yet, and fitting, for the bravest of the trio! Anne knows who she is and so even if she does add to herself and change, she still clearly retains that connection and memory to her old self, as guidance and consideration for where she came from…

           All in all, a fascinating episode! On the surface just cute hjinx for side-characters, but dig a bit deeper to the TRUE appearance, like Anne, and you get to see the culmination of Anne’s development across two-thirds of the entire show, more or less! I like this talk of self-image and acceptance, and I think it’s neat, especially with how Matt Braly mentioned taking inspiration from his own grandmother’s hair, and how this kind of big, poofy hair in Asians is not something you see a lot! You go, Anne, you go; You’re your OWN F-Anne now, your biggest one, and not even a toxic fan, either! You see and accept and engage healthily with yourself, recognize the flaws, and work with them… Good for you!

[starrymothwings]

finally finished the three other ocs i had in mind! this is the first of them, and i’ll get the other two uploaded as soon as i finish this one up! like with todd, the full bodies and info are going to be under a cut

Name: Von Age: 16 Height: 150 cm Year: 1st Dorm: Scarabia Twisted From: Gurgi (The Black Cauldron) Birthplace: ???

- Hasn’t actually worked on his unique magic, so that stays unknown for now

- Actual ray of sunshine, sweet boy. Gullible, and has trouble with academics, but resourceful. Please don’t be mean to him, he Will cry. Extremely loyal, and will die for you if you’re nice to him, because he really wants friends and tbh it’s real easy to take advantage of that. He’s trying his best

- Nobody knows where he comes from lmao. He was found in the woods as a young child and raised by an elderly man (who Von calls “Poppy”) in the Rose Kingdom, but no one knows if he’s actually from there or if his parents just dropped him off. Either way, he doesn’t have a last name, but he can tell you what berries you can eat, or where to find the best climbing trees.

- His favorite food is apples

- Has a bad habit of usually referring to himself by name only (”Von is Von!” “Von is hungry...”) He also tacks on Mr., Ms./Mrs., or Mx. when talking about others, even if they’re in the same grade/younger than he is

- His best class is animal language, and his worst is alchemy. RIP to his alchemy partners lmao. Crewel has straight up banned him from taking part in mandrake picking

- Vil’s worst nightmare. This boy is always dirty, wearing his clothes wrong, has messy hair, or all of the above. Also has a very basic grasp on what manners are

- Adores Kalim as a dorm leader!!! Honestly one of the few people who can keep up with Kalim’s energy

- Really, really, really wants to be Jamil’s friend, but I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon lmao. First impressions were kinda ruined when Von came running up to Jamil to show him the cool beetle he found (: but he keeps at it!

- Clumsy little man, but surprisingly responsible? Like you ask him to do something, and yeah he might stumble around or make a mess, but it’ll get done? Just don’t ask him how he did it or you’re going to get a wild tale

- For his own safety do not let him anywhere near Azul lmao

- He’s struggling, but wants to do well! He wants to make his teachers and his Poppy proud!!

- If you give him your number, be prepared for various blurry pictures of bugs, plants, mushrooms, birds, and other things that he thinks are cool (”i found a snail!!! it reminded me of you :) effervesent”)

- In the Mountain Appreciation Club, even though Jade scares him

[extraterrestrialconnections]

Exercises for Humans- Responses

I received only a few responses to Exercises for Humans, but I was very honoured to have received any at all. Both of my parents, and Stella sent responses- I will be documenting them below. I will be referring to each instruction with the numbers 1 through 4, with the first instruction (think kindly of the mites...) being number 1. 

Mum

1.  my mites ma mites :) love-em or hate-em// my team-mates steam-mates esteem-mates// are they partying when i feel itchy? arid skin- have they sucked me dry?

2. blew in and grew in. threw out long sheets over & thro the earth patting down new roots creating new plants...repeat...// eaten, shat out to share out.// their parent grew, flourished, blossomed and faded left seeds of themselves: self perpetuation only new and different, but not, maybe just like me

3. down down wriggle wriggle around through cold thick damp earth passing beetles bugs mites pupae and worms round rocks stones probing feeling seeking...// having problems imagining intertwining with roots of others// other roots unknown fearful trepidation how can i know... problem problem problem 

4. buzzard flying high squirrel on the fence squirrel in the grass apple-gorging black birds and pheasants tiny bugs on the glass crows high in the fir trees can the trees see me and the bugs in the trees the tiny birds: wrens and tits and that jay// walls and doors bed chair wardrobe mirror clothes paintings bags luggage human hair + fingers + thumbs cats fur cats whiskers soft clothes flies spiders eyebrows eyelashes other hands old hands young hands tiny mites my breath the breath of others wasps + hornets sunlight wind rain hail snow

Dad

1. We are all symbiotic beings and live together for mutual benefit. Get on board, more room on top!

2. All life is miraculous and we all have the same process of life and death// We all leave bits of ourselves in those we touch

3. Roots around other roots and endless mycelium all working to keep our biome, which is Earth, healthy and sustainable. More than we can count, more bacteria in our gut than stars in our universe!

4. Looking out through 170 year old glass which many have cleaned and looked out at the wildlife of the woods. The changes of nature closing down, returning to the soil. Behind me the detritus of all who have gone before. The Mine Captain and his family caught in the dust between the floorboards. 

Stella

1. I tried. I'm cool with them as long as I don't see them , I'm sure they're very nice and mean well but I'm not ready to explore our relationship deeper.

2. I went to our herbs garden. I know my grandma takes care of them. She's an incredible gardener and she probably grew them from plants she bought or little branches that she received from neighbours and friends.  I arrived there by walking down the stairs of our house to the back of our garden. Not a very long journey but I got to the point were I don't leave the house much anyway. It is cool and very dark outside and the plants were almost frozen. 

3. I imagine how my roots would grow and fill the sealing underneath my bedroom. I imagined how the furniture of that room would then also grow roots but the wooden furniture's roots are soft and fluffy like cotton and mine are tense, they feel like muscles and they are wide spread. I almost feel like a parasite.

4. I tried the activity three times because neighbours kept going outside and I don't have the courage to become the village creepy girl so I moved from my bedroom to the living room and was facing our garden and the road. It's 6:00pm and I can see my silhouette reflect in the window from the light behind me. I tried to think of what's in my living room but when I try to imagine the space I know that what I'm thinking of isn't actually our living room. I simplified it and blur out details. I'm happy cause I know that no one can see me.My cat probably touched this window. He loves going outside and chewing on the Christmas decorations. My mom has touched this window, she tries to hinder the cat from eating fake flowers.

//I’m overwhelmed by these considerate responses. Written responses was not something I asked for with these instructions- I simply asked people to spend some time enacting them and thinking about them. The different ways of thinking, and different relationships to the world shown here are fascinating to me- they really speak to the core of what this project is about: different people reflecting on what connection means to them.

[heyyylittlemo]

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

[finefeatheredfriend]

Genocide! (the book. not like. actual genocide.)

Okay so it’s been a while since I posted one of my EDA reviews, and it’s been a while since I read this particular book (because I’ve been at a place where they don’t have wifi for about two months now so I couldn’t post it (since for some reason I always post these from the laptop but yeah ANYWAY.)) but here is another one of my weird reviews/liveblog things! 

This time, it’s Genocide! And I think, if I remember correctly, I liked this one. Well. I mean. Jo is in this one, so of course I liked it. Anyway! I’m gonna read these reactions I had while reading this book now (cause my memory is awful and I literally remember nothing except that Jo was in it lol) and then maybe I’ll be able to tell you how I liked it!

As usual, here are my favourite bits of reactions/quotes/scenes/impressions from when I read this, and the full liveblog will be under the cut! Enjoy my rambly thoughts!

AAAH the Doctor’s pretending he got his outfit from 1893 but Sam saw the label and knows it’s from a costume store I’m screaming

I love that Sam made a scaling system because every single situation with the Doctor is dangerous so the question is no longer ‘is this situation dangerous?’ but ‘how dangerous is this situation’ hahaha i love her

‘We all have to be daleks sometimes. It’s just a matter of knowing when you really don’t have a choice’ - Doctor (ooooh I love this line) 

“Do you know what it's like, Doctor? To watch them die, to hear them die, and know that there's nothing you can do to stop it?” STOP IT of course he knows!!! now I’m crying :(

[Cliff] LEFT JO???? who would ever want to leave JO??? I mean. now she’s finally free to marry sexy yates instead so I guess that’s fine BUT WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND

I know this was before storm warning came out and probably references something entirely different but still, THE UNCREATOR

wait a minute did jo just go and lift rowenna and is now running while carrying her??? uh she’s... strong

oh god how I hope there’s an easier alternative in which no species gets killed off :( ....... eileen this book is literally called genocide

“So you are human.' 'No, not exactly, but that doesn't matter.” Doctor... what... ‘not exactly’?

Jo and Sam have been alone for 6 days??? I mean, 5 and a half hours were bad for Rose, sure, but that has nothing on being stranded without the Doctor 2 million years in the past, in Africa, for six bloody days omg

aaaah the Doctor can hear Jo’s screams from millions of years in the future (Doctor x Jo confirmed)

I can’t believe Jo of all people would kill all those aliens! like... that’s genocide. just. I don’t believe it. not Jo. she’d never

Okay, so here’s my thoughts about the book: I loved it! The fact that we’ve got a non humanoid species here (that I at first thought were Nimons - imagine my disappointment when I found out they weren’t) is so interesting, learning all about them (they have a smell alphabet?? that’s so cool) is so... interesting (yeah, this book is interesting, I know I say that a lot lol). And Jo. asdfgdasflgadgs. I love her. Having her there definitely made the whole book better, though in my opinion I would have really enjoyed the book so much even if she weren’t in it. The only sad thing is that we didn’t get to see her off. She was just gone suddenly! But I loved the book nonetheless.

Okay, you know the drill. Under the cut you’ll find my unabridged reactions that I wrote down while reading! I bolded what I put in the highlights reel. 

okaaay this is interesting

I’m confused but it’s interesting

and I love that framing story line they’ve got going with that alien and the Doctor in what i think is a cell of some sort..?

ok I spoiled myself that jo is in this one (I was bummed that it wasn’t a surprise BUT I’m more excited that she even is in this book so I don’t care AAH MY WIFE IS IN THIS!!)

ok :/ so the aliens aren’t nimons :/

UNIT!!! I mean I don’t know what the alien’s plan is, but they mentioned UNIT!!

“more of his stuff was fake than he was generally prepared to admit” jfjdhdhdg

AAAH the Doctor’s pretending he got his outfit from 1893 but Sam saw the label and knows it’s from a costume store I’m screaming

aaaaah they mention my boy oscar wilde!!

“When he got there he looked over his shoulder and flashed her a smile. 'Guess.' No good, thought Sam. I've been out-cooled again. But I'll get him, one day. If it's the last thing I do.” jdhdhdhgd i love her (and him)

aw no his shoes being sucked into the swamp and he got really sad because grace gave him those shoes and now he wants to repair them at all costs!!

“Something was usually wrong. It was really a matter of scale. Sam had started to rate them in scores out of ten: for instance, (1) the Doctor had misdirected the TARDIS, (5) he'd landed them in the middle of a war zone, or (10) he'd accidentally destroyed the universe.” hahahaha and the situation they’re in is a 2.5, that doesn’t sound too bad haha

“Get back inside!' ordered the Doctor. 'I am inside,' said Sam simply. 'You're not.” Doctor i love you

okaaay we’re slowly raising the danger score point by point and are now at 3.5

hm ok so Sam determined that they are on earth where the invasion had already happened and humans are extinct just by seeing a river and thinking ‘oh yeah, could be the right size to be the thames’ like ??? how do you think you can say all that for sure from guessing that maybe that river you see there is a similar size to that of the Thames

‘even simplicity itself is never as simple as it seems’

oooh I wouldn’t want the Doctor to tell me off I couldn’t stand to have him be disappointed in me

‘We all have to be daleks sometimes. It’s just a matter of knowing when you really don’t have a choice’ - Doctor (ooooh I love this line)

“Wine's bad for your liver, you know.' Rowenna grinned at Julie. 'So are candy bars.' 'I ate a slice of pizza first!' 'Case proven.” I snorted

MY BABY

THEY’RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT JO

wait Rowenna was one of those people in the green death living with cliff????

flying lizards?? flying lizards????? you mean dragons??

earth reptile... a Silurian??

I love how this book is about non humanoid aliens, we rarely see that

“Do you know what it's like, Doctor? To watch them die, to hear them die, and know that there's nothing you can do to stop it?” STOP IT of course he knows!!! now I’m crying :(

JO

MY BABY

SHE!!!!

she’s here

finally

she has a son!! I mean we know she’s got a lot of grandkids but still!!

wait

“leaning across the cold sheets that she'd probably always think of as Cliffs side of the bed” this sounds like he died

he LEFT

he LEFT JO???? who would ever want to leave JO??? I mean. now she’s finally free to marry sexy yates instead so I guess that’s fine

BUT

who would leave jo??????

Cliff gave her an anniversary present AFTER HE LEFT HER??? what

BENTON

“ "Kilgai, Tanzania. Incident class N",' she read. 'What's class N?' 'They divide incidents up into Y for "Yes, it does immediately threaten the existence of the human race" and N for "No, it doesn't".” BENTON you... joker

oooh that’s a an interesting kind of book, these aliens have a smell alphabet? and read by sniffing or tasting the different scents..?

and the Doctor can read those books as well omg

the uNCREATOR

I know this was before storm warning came out and probably references something entirely different but still, THE UNCREATOR

wait but in storm warning they weren’t called tractites right

oh no those were triscele or whatever

oh I hate this

why do the tractites have to be so nice :( I don’t want them all to die :(

then again it’s a nice change away from the usual ‘these aliens are bad and that’s why we need to kill them’ that happens in all the other movies or shows

oh Sam can read those books too so apparently it’s not just a special power the Doctor has

please sam do NOT try to stop the Doctor from setting history right

yes those aliens are nice

but please

“A galaxy long, long ago and far, far away.” aaaah

“She wondered if she was walking into a trap. She'd always been good at that.” you’re surprisingly self aware jo

this is SUCH an interesting story?!?? like... kitig has to decide whether to kill the Doctor because he might destroy them all (which tbf the Doctor is actually planning to do) BUT THEN he decides to help him when he gets ill!!!

“Jo turned round, said calmly, 'Shut up, I'm talking to my friend,' then turned back to Rowenna. 'Don't worry about him, he's nobody. Have you seen the aliens yet?” Jo I fucking love you jsdjsjsggs

wait a minute did jo just go and lift rowenna and is now running while carrying her??? uh she’s... strong

oh god how I hope there’s an easier alternative in which no species gets killed off :(

eileen this book is literally called genocide

stop pretending everything is going to be fine

Jo is badass in this one and I love her

ARE THEY GONNA MEET NOW

I need the doctor and jo to meet

AAAAAH they really are heading for Africa too!!!!!! THEY’RE GOING TO MEET

the Doctor is wearing a white cloth sun-hat ahahahah

ok so both Sam and Jo are walking around the desert now and I’m guessing those two are going to meet first

aaaah the Doctor found rowenna and Julie!!!!

TRUST ME I’M A DOCTOR asdgdhhsgs why does he always have to say that haha

Awww he’s so happy that Jo is around there too

NOOOOOO ROWENNA

NOOO I was like ‘oh that’s jo saving Sam from the homo habilis right?? Hahaha!’ BUT IT’S THAT DICK JACOB

aw the Doctor buried them in the butterfly room

“So you are human.' 'No, not exactly, but that doesn't matter.” Doctor... what... ‘not exactly’?

“the floppy Indiana Jones hat and the purple striped pullover that looked ten years out of date, even for someone of Jo's advanced age” that sounds so like jo haha

“Yes, sorry, I do look a bit of a wreck. Don't worry, I can control the pain. Old Gallifreyan technique.” ooh another interesting bit of info about gallifreyan physiology - that is, if the Doctor isn’t lying to reassure Kitig he’s fine

Noooooo not the TARDIS!!!!!!

Jo and Sam have been alone for 6 days??? I mean, 5 and a half hours were bad for Rose, sure, but that has nothing on being stranded without the Doctor 2 million years in the past, in Africa, for six bloody days omg

Ha Sam, that teaches you to underestimate the absolute angel that is Jo Grant (don’t judge her by her clothes, Sam. this woman has lived on campsites and faced off aliens and is just overall an absolute angel.)

oh god I hate Jacob. but he’s surprisingly self aware (‘if humankind are all like me then no wonder their world will fall apart,’ he thinks while literally drinking an antelope’s blood directly from the neck)

NO JOOOO pls be alright aaah she just fell down the cliff????

aaaah there’s Sam and Theta written into the rock!!!! THETA!!!!

NOOOO SAM

don’t die please

I mean I kind of know you’re not going to die because I know you’ll be there for a bit longer

BUT STILL

DON’T DIE

oh no!!! the TARDIS is like she was in Father’s Day noooo

aaaah the Doctor can hear Jo’s screams from millions of years in the future (Doctor x Jo confirmed)

no

the TARDIS changed????? but she was perfect like that :(

oh wait hahahaha that was just Jo’s point of view it’s still the same thank god

and the vw beetle is just parked right there in the console room hahahahaha

“Outside, the Doctor was running down a grassy slope, fire exploding to the left and right of him. 'Usual situation,' said Jo wryly, running for the door.” jshajsghshsdha I love them

Noooooo axeman!!!!

Oh god Sam no

what have you done

Don’t just kill :(

oh no not Jo as well

I’m crying oh god JO

I can’t believe Jo of all people would kill all those aliens

like... that’s genocide

just. I don’t believe it. not Jo. she’d never

hehehe the empress reminds him of Davros

I love how he just whispers with Sam while the empress is speaking and clearly looking at them lol

aw kitig saved the world from the time tree

Sam you have to tell him!!! and not when he’s asleep!!! (what is it with people telling other people important things while that person is unconscious ugh!!)

wait what happened to jo?? we didn’t get to see her off!!!

And that’s all! Hope you enjoyed this!

[xxx-strangeandunusual-xxx]

True to his word, Betelgeuse didn't leave her until she descended back into dreams unencumbered by mischievous visitors. When she awoke, there was a light filtering through the curtains that was just a bit too orange to originate from any sun. Almost immediately, disorientation faded away and she remembered where she was and why she was there; naked, cold, and needing to pee. With quick, impatient movements, she ambled out of his coffin, donned his bathrobe, and tried a door. She really was not looking forward to using his filthy bathroom, but the call of nature must be heeded. To her astonishment, she found the previously disgusting room clean. The tiles sparkled so clearly she could see her reflection, not a speck of dirt or grime to be found on pristine porcelain. There was a sticky note attached to the mirror written in a barely legible chicken scratch that could only be Betelgeuse's script.

Sexy Bendy Little Sugartits--

When u wake up the spider & bonehead will probs make u food. Don’t eat from worm bucket in fridge that’s mine. I fixed bathroom for u. Soap in shower probably not the best but I don’t remember what that’s like. Hang around for as long as u want/can. Check dresser 4 good surprise. See u later. XOXO

Instead of signing it with his name or initials, her husband had drawn a little cartoon beetle with heart eyes. It was clutching its chest, swooning, overcome with emotion. Lydia swooned a little herself and tucked the sticky note away somewhere she wouldn't forget it. She would have to keep it for the photo album she intended to dedicate to him. The soap he referred to didn't come in plastic bottles, but glass mason jars. It looked homemade, like a bored housewife's DIY project. Briefly, Lydia wondered if he stole it from the Patels, or the live people haunting their house, before dismissing the thought. It was a sweet gesture and she wasn't about to dissect it.

The "surprise" the note alluded to almost made her cry. He got her a camera. An expensive, digital, top of the line piece of equipment. It wasn't her beloved polaroid, but something else entirely. This was professional grade, still in the box, as though he walked into a store and bought it just that morning. It took everything in her to resist tearing it open and playing with it right that second. She had plenty of time, and there other things that deserved her attention. Now that the bathroom was properly cleaned, Lydia could see that he had a jacuzzi tub, like the kind in Delia and her father's master bath. With this discovery, she indulged. She drew a bath, garnishing the water with some oil from one of the jars that smelled like cupcakes. Around the porcelain perimeter were several short-stemmed candles stolen from his room. He had a ton of them. Why? Lydia was sure she would find out one day.

The brown sugar scrub smelled delightful and she lathered it generously across her skin. She spent the entire morning in his tub; lazing, indulging, floating on a cloud of pleasant emotions. She felt so loved. So cared for. She never wanted to leave, not if this was what their life together would look like. Alas, it was a beautiful fantasy. Eventually, she was able to drag herself from the steaming waters and redress in another one of his shirts- the maroon silk top she'd stopped him from wearing the previous night. Like the other, it drowned her. Unable to resist the urge anymore, she tore into her new camera, settling down at his desk to play and tinker until she was confident she understood how it worked. Then, she grew a backbone enough to emerge from the room. Ginger was found in the kitchen, four of her eight arms hard at work, each holding a different utensil and performing a different task.

"Do you need any help?" The spider, well invested in her cooking, jumped in fright at the sound, spilling a pot of something slimy, green, and moaning all over the counter. "Oh!" Lydia jumped to action, grabbing a towel to help sop up the mess. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you."

"Honey, don't worry about it. This is nothin'. Ya hungry? BeeJay said ya might be. There's some leftover cookies ovuh there," she gestured across the room with a free arm, shooing Lydia away so she could take care of the rest of the mess on her own. Reluctantly, Lydia acquiesced, settling down on a bar seat and carefully picking at one of the gingersnap cookies. Given time, their hot temperament had cooled some, and they didn't attempt nipping at her fingers like the previous night. "Is that all Beteljerk gave you to wear?" Ginger inquired to Lydia, a mild scowl turning her fuchsia lips. "JACQUES!" She yelled out suddenly without giving Lydia time to respond. "COME WATCH THE STOVE FUH A MINUTE, I NEED TO MAKE MISS LYDIA SOME NICE-UH CLOTHES!"

Make?

"Oui, oui, mon amour," Jacques answered obediently, sweeping through the entryway to take over for Ginger. "Good morning, Miss Lydia! We are so pleased to be having you here. Did you sleep well?"

"Like a dream," Lydia replied smilingly, amused by their antics. "You really don't have to bother, Ginger. I don't mind wearing his shirt. It's comfy."

"Well," Ginger frowned, unconvinced, and ushered Lydia from the room, "I mind. Besides, I have just the thing fuh you! S'been awhile since I've had a model as cute as you ta work for."

The girl blushed, deeply flattered, and silenced all further protest, allowing herself to be pulled through a door that read Ginger in bright pink glitter, like the kind that could be seen backstage at a show belonging to a diva. Everything in her room was pink; dark pink, light pink, fuchsia, magenta, coral, rose, peach, and salmon.

"Wow," Lydia commented politely with large eyes, working very hard to hide her distaste. Claire Brewster would love it in here.

"Let's see," Ginger took a moment to look her up and down, "what're ya, four foot ten? Four eleven?"

"Nine," the girl confessed smallishly, blush deepening.

"Precious," the spider smiled, oblivious to Lydia's embarrassment at her size, and proceeded to flurry around her, rapidly taking her measurements. "Perfect. Okay, now sit tight fuh just a minute while I work my magic." She gathered a bundle of black fabric from her dresser, then red, and went to work. She moved with supernatural fluidity, weaving the fabric together with talented inhuman limbs. "Try this," she ordered, tossing a pile of black to Lydia before beginning work on the red fabric now. The girl slipped behind the old-fashioned changing screen and worked herself into the gifted garment. It was a bodysuit. It encased her from neck to wrist to ankle, an expertly concealed zipper running down the front. The fabric was warm, but not overly so, and quite breathable, and hugged her like a second skin.

"Thank you," Lydia breathed in wonder as she stepped out from behind the screen, unable to stop running her hands across the soft fabric.

"Don't thank me yet," Ginger smirked, satisfied with her work, and handed the girl another bunch of textile. This one was red, silken, and boasted a delicate spiderweb pattern. "Now, you can thank me." It was a hooded poncho, so light and airy Lydia could hardly feel it over the bodysuit. The ends draped down to the ground both in back and front, completely hiding her figure from view, though glimpses of her silhouette could be glanced from the sides. "Lovely, absolutely lovely. I've outdone myself. Now, come come, lemme do somethin' with all that hair o' yours."

Lydia, now completely confident in the spider's abilities, was content to let herself be used as a dress-up doll and obediently sat before the spider's vanity. Distantly, she realized that Ginger didn't have a reflection, but was too mesmerized watching her hair move by itself in the mirror to question it. The Maitlands and Betelgeuse didn't have a reflection, so this told her Ginger was definitely a dead person. Why, then, was she a spider? Why did they even have mirrors down here if they didn't work? Within minutes, Ginger had worked most of her hair into an intricate updo held in place by a rich violet ribbon.

"There. Perfect."

[mastabas-and-mushussu]

Polytheist Ramblings: Nisaba

I was going to title this “Finding Sanctuary”, but I think this fits with my little series better.

I talk a lot about other gods, because their influences are many-layered. It’s easy to talk about a goddess of the mountains when you live there, or a god of the furious sun when you’re melting. But how to talk about a goddess you’re sworn to? There’s something about the relationship that just won’t out with words, which is ironic considering.

My Lady Nisaba colored like the stars, whose body is the flecked barley, She who holds the Book of Names and who had a hand in the creation of her scribes, the goddess I revere and adore, is... as I said, words fail. Except for the part where she literally IS the written word. And then I’m laughing at my laptop screen again.

But my mind was wandering the other day, and I started mentally constructing a hypothetical temple. Something small and unobtrusive, but interesting. Maybe someplace busy, like New York, with the old back-alley surprise shops and classy old courtyards surrounded by sprouting skyscrapers. I’m rather attached to America, but I could see something similar in London. Either way, some sort of divot in the walls of glass and steel, a high-walled courtyard with a heavy door. But the door is left open, and the walls are soft with vines. It’s guarded by twin stone lions. The same ones you sometimes see in the yards of people trying too hard to look regal, maybe. But it’s an old practice. Probably inspired by the New York Library. Possibly a reflection of the statues that guarded kings and old polytheist temples. Either way, there would be lions, and maybe a carving of the Anzu Bird over the lintel.

In this hypothetical little sacellum, no if ands or buts about it, there would be a public bookcase or two. I’ve seen them around town, and they’re absolutely brilliant. The paving stones would be covered in all sorts of book quotes in as many languages as I could convince a mason to try, including Braille. At the back there would have to be a statue, and some of my thinking is probably inspired by when I wandered Granada and would stumble on an aljibe with a mosaic of the Virgin over it. In my head this looks a little bit close to the Madonna, and I’m not sure what I think of that. But there’d be a little plaque on the wall explaining who she is, and a basket or two for whatever a person might want to offer. I like the idea of a prayer box, I’ve seen those before, where you write on a slip of paper and it stays in the box as a secret. Or the papers are burned. Either way, both fit with the goddess of the written word and the old ways of burning offerings to lift your prayers skyward.

I have a lot of ideas, and no real means or resources to focus on them, but ideas are nice. I was thinking about this temple idea, and I wondered to myself what her sacred animal would be. There’s no record of one. Lions and bulls and dragons are all staple parts of the old hymns, but... I wanted to see if anything had developed over the years. In America we’ve developed this idea of giving teachers an apple, which is why I offer them to her. We associate twin lions with libraries because of the New York Library. Maybe there was more, hiding away with the book curses and scriptoriums.

I typed “Ten Most Iconic Libraries” into Google.

A good percentage of them are related to monasteries, which makes sense. Some of them had royal sponsorship at one point or another. There’s nods to their local history, the obvious relish of architects given room to play, some modernized and some stately old monuments. But there was one little detail that kept popping up in the descriptions: quite a few of the oldest libraries had a... symbiotic relationship of sorts with resident bats.

Bats and small birds like to hole up in unusual places, true. Check out your local mall food court and keep an eye out in the airport as you drag your suitcase down the moving sidewalk to see for yourself what I mean. But apparently your friendly neighborhood pest control has a taste for bookworms.

(For the record, the term ‘bookworm’ refers to any insect with a taste for literature. This extends to moths who eat cloth bindings and beetles who tunnel through the paper like wood, as well as the beetles after your leather tomes.)

In ancient Sumer, bats and birds were associated with Nanshe, especially pelicans. More specifically, owls were associated with lilitu-demons and possibly Ereshkigal. But then, their libraries more closely resembled the cooling rack at your local college pottery class. Not something many bookworms wanted to nibble.

Cultures change and religions evolve. I think I’ve found my answers, at least to this question. Especially considering how sometimes the endless shelves remind me of a quiet crypt (Seriously, my first time in a proper old crypt that was my first comparison). Maybe I’m obsessive and seeing connections, maybe bats are my favorite animal and I’m biased. But it’s interesting, to see the evolution of the gods. It’s interesting, to run the thought experiments, to ask the “what if”s, to make yourself at home on the outskirts and then see places where society has already met you in the middle, unnoticed.

For that matter, colophons are pretty cool too.

Nisaba za3-mi2-zu dug3-ga-am3

[tigermaskdan]

Week 2, 2017 - New beginnings, same old shit

Well now, here we are.  You may be asking yourself, “Dan, you fetid hunk of beetle corpses, we aren’t even doing fantasy this year, and also, what the fuck is on your face?” To which I would respond, “Well walrus penis- can I call you walrus penis? - yes, walrus penis.”  I’m still mad, and though I don’t think I can carve out enough time to care about fantasy football, what with a baby on the way, I still have time to get pissed off about the Colts, and the fucking world in general.  I mean, Christ have you seen Earth? Fucking hell.  One night in college I decided “Rum is going to be the alcohol I drink. That’s gonna be my signature booze,” and drank a whole goddamnned bottle in one night.  The next morning I was convinced I had woken up under the wheel of a still running el Camino.  That is basically the state of Earth right now.

So why the mask? Well, in case you hadn’t noticed, this column is filthy as all shit fuck balls.  Before I didn’t give a shit cause it was just you guys reading it.  As we all know, nobody is able to actually share anything cool from our fantasy football page so it didn’t matter.  Now that it’s on the real internet I would rather my employer not see this, or people that I just casually know.  Like I’m walking down the street and some lady from my mother-in-law’s quilter group is like “that’s the evil man who’s column turned my grandson into a swearing monster.  And also made him gay.”  I don’t really know about the last part, that bitch is cray.

Now I’m Tiger Dan.  I will be referred to as such from now on here.  If we’re in person just call me Dan, unless I get famous enough to make public appearances in gimmick brother, brother. If you’re here and not from the fantasy football league, then you probably work with one of those assholes, so I won’t give you any shit because that’s punishment enough.

But that’s not why you clicked this.  No, you clicked this to get the hottest takes in the saggiest package.  You can to get your dickbag of the week.  I’mma make you wait.  

First off, lets begin with last week, which was the worst display of “football” I have ever seen in my life.  The Colts were so pathetic.  I did not expect much, but I expected something resembling a professional football team.  Not a hodgepodge of rec league softball players that think they have one more down in them and JV football washouts.  Don’t worry. After you fail at this I’m sure the mall security force will be happy to take you in. Then you can harass some college kid you think has marijuana and a better life than you. (Hint: it’s because they do)

Also, Pagano somehow regressed.  I feel like at some point he knew something about football.  He had to.  But somewhere down the line he started hitting the superlatives too hard.  It started with just one “grind it out” every once in a while to unwind, but now he needs to have 3 or 4 “we have the heart and grit”s every morning just to get to normal.

Lulz Tolzien.  Lulzien.  How’s it feel to be bested by Tom Brady’s second best backup when he’s had the playbook for a week?  Make you feel good?  Well I’m glad someone’s happy.

But then something magical happened.  This morning I raced for the cure.  We didn’t win, but we got enough points to unlock Rainbow Road.  But I digress.

As such, I didn’t get to follow the game until it had started, and I was SHOCKED to find that we somehow were up 10-0.  Could it be?  Is Brissett actually he who was named?  Forged of fire and ice?  Did we actually learn anything and improve?!

You scared me there for a little Colts.  I thought you were actually going to be worth my time this year and I was going to have to shell out some money to get the world’s worst streaming service, NFL Sunday Ticket.  As it is, you’re still garbage and I can get by listening to the Colts the same way I did this weekend, which brings me to the main event.

Dickbag of the Week:

Bob. Fucking. Lamey.  You miserable sack of everything wrong with the Midwest.  You’re mayonnaise on french fries.  You’re “Tasty” videos with cream cheese as primary components.  You’re candy corn frappachinoes.  Every time I try to say “hey, here’s something cool about my home!” in Portland, I’m met with an article about how someone that looks just like Bob Lamey that loves Trump, but didn’t think he’d take away their medicare.  The fact that you exist is making us all look bad.

I’ve been listening to this man for something like a 1000 years.  Granted, sometimes I can’t tell if I was listening to Bob Lamey, or if I was listening to my Dad talking about my peewee football team.  “Somehow we just need to make sure Trevor is hitting his man,” or some bullshit like that.  These are GROWN MEN Bob.  They aren’t your kids.  They’re professionals out there doing a fucking difficult job.  Stop acting like you’re going to take them to the corner DQ for buster bars after the game and treat them like adults.

And nothing is worse than when you get your “disappointed” voice going.  We all know how it sounds.  

“Reggie, in the flat, Peyton AIRS IT OUT HE’S GOING DEEP THIS IS GOING TO BE - he dropped it….he just dropped it…dangit Reggie.  You can’t be making mistakes like that.  Now Reggie, come on- this is just not us.  This is not Colts football.”

Fuck you it’s not Colts football.  I hate to break it to you the only constant in Colts football is Irsay’s continued coke fueled involvement in the team.  Everything else is cyclical.  Being a “Colt” is not something someone becomes at age 13 at some horseshoe barmitzvah.  Guys will come and go, and what is or isn’t Colts football will be dictated by them.  Telling me that Scott Tolzien sneezing in a manner that somehow converts to a pick six isn’t “Colt’s football” isn’t good analytical insight.

And you know this sack of shit loves Pagano.  They are cut from the same fucking wide ass cloth.  I would like to clarify though that that cloth is wide only for Lamey’s sake.  Pagano is normal sized, it’s just that Lamey is such a prime example of the dormant lifestyle that he requires double the cloth.

Even during the broadcast today he gave pulled out this little chestnut.  When talking about Pagano’s incredibly bushleague decision to not challenge a bad call that would’ve gotten us a touchdown - a decision that Pagano himself has said was a mistake - Lamey said something along the lines of “We got word from the league office in New York and they said even if it was challenged, they didn’t see anything to overturn it, if you can believe that.  So you all talking about it, it didn’t make a difference so that ends that.”  

Do you hear yourself?  That’s some Hannity level of schilling for the boss.  It doesn’t matter?  Even if you heard “from New York” which - lets face it, the closest you ever got to having a source in New York was when Pizza Hut carried extra thin crust pizza - it shouldn’t matter that the play wouldn’t have been over turned.  It was still an incredible failure as a strategist and a coach to not challenge that play.  Lamey’s the type of guy that argued  we should keep Tolzien over Morris, even though Morris was clearly better, because he showed more heart and hustle in practice.  He’s the kind of guy that complains about guys being “distractions,” while not a word is mentioned about Irsay’s latest porn tweet.  He BLEEDS BLUE #chuckstrong #onegame #nextmanup #protecttheshield #tweetcaroline.

And you know what’s terrible?  Even if Irsay pisses off his dealer enough that he’s killed in some cartel crossfire, I’ll still have to put up with you.  YOU’RE AN INSTITUTION, someone who’s opinion I don’t care about will say.  You’re the type of old man piece of shit that people keep telling me is worth having around because of your down to earth wisdom, like Mike Ditka and Hawk Harrelson. But you’re really just some old guy that thinks the league would be better if players all stood during the anthem and if they started hitting during practice again.  

I hate that you’re my only option if I don’t want to pay $1,000 to watch SOME of the Colts games on Sunday Ticket.  I hate that you’re what somebody hears if they’re flipping through radio stations on a Sunday in Indianapolis.  I hate that it’s your voice over all the greatest highlights of the Colt’s Super Bowl year.  Do us all a favor and roll your fat ass to some B&B in Brown County and stay there forever.

So that’s it for the first public dickbag.  Please like, share, and subscribe…nah just kidding.