#i mean you can see the difference in my experiences w the shows right from the start

[sumirhatos]

Photoshoot

Red Velvet - Joy x Male reader

7.3k words

TW: foot fetish, feet worshiping

-----

This is a continuation of Exposed addiction.

Thanks to Nether Blade for helping me with this chapter. ❤️🥰

-----

"Miss Bae, but he works at JTBC, and we are not sure if he has any experience in advertisement filming" says the manager, a little bit confused.

"So what? He proved to be very professional last time, what difference does it make?" she says, raising her eyebrow. "Don't you trust my opinion?"

"N-no miss Bae, I'm just-" the manager was about to share his thoughts of disagreement.

"Then it's settled!" she interrupts him, putting on her Aviators and leaving the meeting room.

**BZZ BZZ**

(Late night 11:26 p.m.)

You were watching videos on YouTube until you are interrupted by a call

Usually you don't pick up calls when you are off work, but this time you didn't even bother to check who's calling...

"H-Hello?" you answer with a sleepy voice

"Okay, good, you are not asleep, I got work for you" says Joohyun.

"Ummm, what?" you reply getting confused by the voice, but being too tired to recognize the caller, so you check the caller's ID. It's Joohyun?!?!

"J-joohyun? I mean, Miss Bae!" you spill. "Sorry, didn't recognize your voice, I'm really tired right now, I've had a very long day and I didn't get enough sleep either" you explain to her.

The events of last night are rewinding before your eyes.

"W-what kind of job are you talking about?" you ask her to try to change the subject...

"Well, just a regular filming job you will manage. Wait for my message. You can thank me later. Bye!" she spills and hangs up.

"What?" you hear nothing but you've been hung up on...

"What the fuck is wrong with that woman? First she kicked me out of the hotel room. Now she offers me a job all of a sudden?" you curse before going to bed.

The next morning you receive the message from Joohyun.

"You were approved for the job by our managers, I'm absolutely sure Sooyoung will be happy to work with you again.😏"

"Wait, what? I have to film Sooyoung?" you reply to her, not that you mind seeing Sooyoung again.

"She will send you the deets later, you owe me one, pretty boy, enjoy the shooting ;)" she replies.

You initially met Sooyoung and the Red Velvet members a long time ago, the first encounter happened when you had just started your job as a part of a filming crew for MBC, being just 19 years old back then.

Red Velvet had just debuted as a group and were invited as guests on the Weekly Idol Show, that's when you met them for the first time.

The other members probably didn't pay attention to you at all, you were just one of the assistants for the filming crew.

But Sooyoung was different, she noticed a young member of the filming crew, the clumsy guy, who was just trying his best to be helpful.

After the filming she even came up to you and said "Fighting!", which was like a breath of fresh air for you after a long day of work. Maybe she was just trying to be polite? Or maybe she pitied you?

Yet somehow you later became sort of buddies, you were someone she could talk to during work, you were her guy in the filming crew, who helped her with small requests, like messaging her about the filming, sending schedules, and sharing other relevant information. Sometimes you hang out together as a part of a group, telling your stories, sharing your experiences in life and much more.

You wouldn't call it a close relationship or anything, but you became sort of friends, to an extent.

A few years later, life becomes more successful for you. JTBC, another broadcasting channel made you an offer you could never pass on, came with a new team, new place, new crew and new position for you: a fucking filming director! They even made their own show, Idol Room, which featured old hosts, from Weekly Idol.

Right away, you became THE guy in the team, so others finally started paying attention to you. Suddenly more people wanted to hang out with you, go for drinks and attend parties together or stuff like that.

Even idols started paying more attention and trying to suck up to you for different reasons. Sooyoung was not an exception, she also asked you for professional advice here and there.

"What's wrong honey?", a voice came from your bedroom, "is everything okay?", she adds coming to the kitchen.

You hoped she wasn’t trying to become closer to you just because of the new important role you had, but that she indeed considered you an interesting person worthy to hang out with.

"Shit...This woman is fucking killing me", you say out loud.

"Well, I just got a message from Joohyun, she got me an extra job... I'm having an ad shoot for Sooyoung", you say with an annoyed face.

"Oh! You can try out a different type of shooting by taking this job and make some extra money as well. Good for you. Joohyun is so nice and generous!", she exclaimed with a smile, "She cares about people she works with so much and even helps them to get more gigs!"

If only she knew what a real bitсh Joohyun is...

"Plus, you have told me that you liked to work with Sooyoung in the past when you had just started your career as an assistant, remember?", she adds.

"Yeah, I guess'', you answer, "but it's Saturday and I wanted to spend the day with you... I should decline it", you add with sadness in your voice.

"Nah", she shakes her head, "It's fine, we can watch Netflix when you come home later today", she smiles. "I know how much you love your job and I don't wanna see you walking around with a sour face all day, feeling bad for not taking this opportunity", she comes to you and pats you on the head.

"Thank you", you simply reply to her, taking her hand and holding it for a moment.

"Okay, chop-chop then, don't wanna be late, right?", she says, clapping her hands.

"Yeah..." you reply to her, still annoyed by the fact that you have to work on a Saturday.

You get up and head to your closet, get dressed into a casual outfit: grey joggers, green loose hoodie with a zipper on top of an LA Lakers print t-shirt.

Then you head back to the kitchen, and see that your girlfriend is munching on her breakfast while watching some news.

"What are you wearing?!?! Are you going to a basketball match? Haha", she says giggling at you.

"Hey it's Saturday, my official day off. I can wear whatever I want!", you exclaim to her light tease, "And who the fuck is gonna stop me? Am I the director or what?!", you say proudly of yourself

"I was joking you little poopster", she says, slapping your thigh.

"Yeah-yeah, whatever", you reply, heading to the door.

You put your sneakers on and head out.

"I'll see you in the evening, I'll try to get home not too late", you say to her heading out.

"Hey, wait. Haven't you forgotten something?", she says, jiggling the car keys in her hand.

She throws them at you and you catch them like Lebron catches the pass from Davis to perform the slam dunk.

"Thanks", you say to her and go to your car.

**BZZ BZZ** your phone vibrates.

"Hello Mr. Foot Fetishist! 😏 I guess we are working again together! I've attached the details. See ya! 😘", was the message from Sooyoung

"Oh god, what is this nickname? Joohyun told you?", you reply to her message...

"Maybe 😋", she replies

You have kept your fetish in secret from her and other idols successfully so far and now Joohyun had to ruin this... And not just anyone, but Sooyoung? Now she’s gonna try to hide her feet from you. Great...

"Hope that nickname doesn't stick for too long though...", you murmur to yourself, while getting in your car.

Heading to the place Sooyoung mentioned in her message, you arrive in about 20 minutes. It's some 3-story building near SM Ent. headquarters.

"I guess bees don't want to get too far from their nest", you say while getting out of the car, you take off your hoodie and leave it inside.

Heading straight inside the building, you go to the 3rd floor, that's what was said in the description Sooyoung sent.

At the entrance to the studio you are stopped by some bodyguard in a suit.

"Can I help you?", he says with a disgusted face. Is it because of your outfit? Probably because you don't look like somebody who might be here for work?

"I'm a filming director from JTBC, here for a Barrel photoshoot with Park Sooyoung.

"Yeah and I'm Lebron James", he mocks you by pointing at your tee.

"Hey listen, I don't want any trouble and I think you don't want any either, right? I'm here for work", you tell him in response. Maybe it sounded like too much...

"The fuck? Asshole

"Guys where is my phone? I need to make a call, Sooyoung asked people walking around her, but then she stops when she sees you at the entrance to the studio.

You are mesmerized... She looks... Well, to say she looks like a goddess would be an understatement... Her makeup has already been done, her beautiful hair is also ready, curling over her shoulders.

She's wearing a white cropped hoodie, a short lavender sports skirt that barely covers her mouthwatering thighs and exposing to the world her long fucking legs, going down, on succulent feet she has light pink summer heels.

"I was about to call you, but unfortunately I can't seem to find my phone in this mess ", she says, pouting. So fucking cute...

Looks like no pedicure today, some toenails might look meh without any polish applied, but that's not the case for Park Sooyoung, her toenails are looking pristine and elegant in their natural color, signaling how well she looks after them.

"Oh, there you are", she comes to your direction, "He's with me", she pushes away the bodyguard.

"H-hello Miss Park", you reply, trying to be formal with her around other people even though you are sort of friends... "So um... I suppose it's a summer outfit photoshoot?"

"Yep, didn't Joohyun tell you about the job?", she asks, taking you by the hand and leading you inside the studio. A very bright place, a lot of light from the studio LED lights.

"No", you shook your head, "she didn't tell me anything about the job itself..." you add just staring at Sooyoung stunned by her beauty once again...

"Okay, we should get to work if we want to finish the whole photoshoot today, there are a lot of outfits I need to pose in", she says with a bright smile.

She then leans towards you and seductively whispers into your ear: "I hope you like it, oppa", she said, giving you goosebumps...

"This is gonna be a long day...", the only thought that crossed your mind.

"Um... Okay guys, let's start, shall we?", she asked without looking for an answer obviously.

"I can see that Miss Park is almost ready", you said, pointing to a girl going through her bags, presumably looking for her phone.

"Found it!"Sooyoung exclaimed, holding onto her phone and holding it up in the air.

"Okay, we are set to film in two settings, one is the regular white background and the other one is with the sand & beach theme", says one of her managers.

She strikes a few poses, which you capture with the camera. Everyone on set is probably appreciating her visuals. The main thing that you are captivated with though are her amazing legs, her ample thighs, strong looking calves and last but not least, her feet, those succulent toes, the arch, the ankles... Fuck...

"Sounds interesting", was your response, "okay, let's begin", you added. 

While you are usually supposed to instruct the person that is in front of the camera, Joy is a natural, the camera loves her. After all these years of knowing her, you have figured out there is not much direction to do with her, so you let her improvise.

"G-Good job Miss Park, you are such a pro", you comment a little bit nervously, getting yourself a smile in response from her. She knows you are staring.

"Okay, we will proceed with the next outfit", her manager said. Sooyoung left for a couple of minutes to the changing room.

Coming back she's wearing another lavender color outfit: long sleeve sporty top and very short shorts, once again exposing her amazing thighs to your eyes, completing the look with a baseball cap of the same lavender color, on her feet she had peach colored sneakers. Whole fit looks very beautiful.

You take a few pics in the setting with sand and a few regular pics, after that she left for the changing room once again.

"Good, next!", the manager said again.

Couple of minutes later, she comes back in a surfing outfit with black tight pants, a tight light blue top and the same peach sneakers.

"Uhh... It's too hot in here", she says waving her hands in front of her face. All of a sudden she takes off her sneakers, freeing her appetising feet from their shackles . Playfully she shows her shoes in the camera and you took a shot of that. Sooyoung giggled at you. If only you could sniff those shoes...

This girl knew exactly what she’s doing, those natural colored toenails are looking so fucking delicious, it drives you crazy. If you two were alone you'd have jumped at her to feast on each of her toes. The thought of it made you sweat even more...

To shake off  the intrusive thoughts, you tried to concentrate on taking photos of Sooyoung, while she was posing.

Moving to the setting with sand she looked like a true surfer girl, who just came to the beach and is getting prepared to ride the waves.  She sits down and plays with the sand.

You take more photos of her and they come out cute rather than sexy.

"Okay, time for the next outfit, I suppose?", you ask one of Sooyoung's managers.

Sooyoung gets up and leaves to the dressing room once again to return in a very cute blue chequered dress.

"Okay, for the last two outfits we want the beach setting", the manager says.

"Oh, so I don't need my shoes then?" Sooyoung asks the manager.

"If you don't want to, sure", the manager replies indifferently.

Glancing at you, Sooyoung smiles and elegantly takes off the heels that she wore previously at the beginning of the shooting session and then tiptoes to the beach setting.

There is something about sandy feet... Something alluring that makes you desire her feet even more...

"Wish I could see her cute little toes"...

Right that moment as if she heard you, Sooyoung lifts her left leg a little out of the sand just enough for you to be able to see her cute toes.

Those feet need to be worshipped, those toes need to be sucked, those soles need to be massaged and licked... Sooyoung looks at you and giggles once again. Can she actually read your thoughts?

You snap more pictures of her once again, while she is spinning around being playful in front of the camera.

"Okay, last outfit, Sooyoung", the manager says.

You check your watch and to your surprise you’ve already been shooting for 2 hours... It seems the time passed very quickly because of the hypnotizing beauty of Sooyoung, so you lost the sense of time.

Sooyoung heads to the changing room, as she passes you, she runs her finger down your cheek and gives you a hungry glance.

"Uhh... This girl...", you think, "What if somebody notices?!?!", it seems Sooyoung doesn't care.

It took a few minutes for her to return in another jaw-dropping outfit: yellow one-piece swimsuit that tightly hugs all of her curves, denim shorts, once again not covering her thighs and topped off with a blue cap on her head, kind of cute. Another perfect beach outfit.

She sits down in the sand, her butt is resting on her soles, which are covered in sand once again, that swimsuit almost doesn't cover her back, leaving little to your imagination, such an amazing body, and such a pretty face, the face that you have splattered with your cum just a few days ago...

Flashbacks from that incredible night are coming back to your mind making you feel fired up once again... She on her knees in front of you, her face painted with your load... Fuck...

Sooyoung looked at you with a smirk once again, as if she knew exactly what you were thinking right now. You stopped taking pictures, staring at her through the camera, you couldn't take your eyes off...

"Okay, good job everyone", her manager said,"and thank you for helping us with the shooting, sir", she addressed you.

"Uhh... Yeah, thank you guys, good job", you reply awkwardly to the manager and the whole crew, "I'll be happy to work with you next time if I have a chance", you add.

Meanwhile everyone started to pack their things, cameras, lights, screens and etc., Sooyoung gracefully stood up and headed to the changing room.

"Sooyoung we will be waiting for you in the van, to drive you home", her manager says to her heading out.

"Nah, that's okay, I have to discuss something with opp-", she stops mid sentence,"I have to discuss something with the director here", she continues.

"Y-Yeah?, you say with uncertainty, seeing her glare at you, "right, we have to discuss... Yes...", you try to come up with something, but nothing comes to your mind.

"Yeah", she glares at you, "Next shooting for Barrel, remember? I've told you that the contract includes a few photoshoots", she elbows you in the side, signalling to you to play along.

"Oh, yeah! How could I forget this? The next shooting, ha-ha", you say with an awkward laugh.

"Oh, okay, we can wait", the manager replies.

"It's fine, he'll give me a ride home, right?" Sooyoung smiles at you.

"Yeah, I will, definitely, I'll drop off Miss Park at her place, don't you worry", you try to reassure her manager with an awkward smile on your face.

"O-kay, see you on Monday then. Bye", the manager says. She bows to you and leaves the studio with other staff members.

Seeing them out you bow last time. Then you get hit by something on your back, you look at Sooyoung, she has taken off her shorts and threw them at you. That yellow one piece swimsuit barely covers her ripe peach... All of a sudden you are hungry...

"I'll be right back", she says getting into the changing room, "don't peek", she says smirking at you.

"I didn't even plan to", you reply to her. She shuts the door.

One minute later Sooyoung comes out wearing a white dress paired with white sneakers, her hair is tied back in a ponytail to reveal her cute forehead.

"Okay, let's go", she says heading for the exit. You say nothing following her while checking her from the back. In addition to her juicy thighs she has very muscular calves.

Heading to your car you keep staring at her ass and legs.

"Enjoying the view?", she says, turning around all of a sudden.

"Yes", you answered firmly without any hesitation.

"Good", she smiles, "is this your car?", she points at a red sedan.

"Yeah, get in", you say, opening the door for her.

"Oh wow, so there are still gentlemen left in this world!", she exclaims with a grin on her face. You decided to say nothing, just replying with a smile.

She gets inside your car and you close the door for her. After that, you go to the back of your car to put your camera and your bag into the trunk and then go to the driver seat.

Sooyoung has already gotten comfortable in the seat beside you and was waiting for you inside.

"So, what did you want to talk about?", you asked her when you got in, put the key in and started the engine.

"Well, I just wanted to hang out with you, you've been busy not attending any parties, so I was wondering how have you been lately? Plus, my manager would have talked about work all the way, if I had taken the ride...", she says with a weariness in her voice.

"Yeah, I've been busy working on new stuff for our channel", you point out.

"I also don't want to go home alone...", she said with sadness in her voice.

"You should've invited your friends to hang out then", you suggested.

"Yeah? Who for example? My group members?" she asked.

"Yeah, why not?", you said to her calmly

"We see each other all the time", she replied. "So, I've decided to invite you instead. Joohyun told me that you are fun to hang out with", "Joohyun told me, everything", she said, taking off her sneakers, reclining her seat and putting her bare feet on a dashboard.

"A-am I?", you replied startled by it, trying to concentrate on the road instead of her legs.

"Do you like mine?" She asked with a grin obviously meaning her succulent toes which she was wiggling on a dashboard.

"Y-yes, of course", you gave her a short reply, peeking at her feet.

"Good", she said, shifting in her seat and putting her feet into your lap, "oh yeah, that's better", she added.

Moving her feet slowly all over your lap, she provokes an already forming bulge to get even harder, making it hard to concentrate on the road.

"Sooyoung, I'm driving!", you exclaimed, not even trying to get her feet from your crotch.

"You know, I never expected you to be a feet kinda guy, but now that I think about it, there were some hints to it", she smirks, grinding her right foot on your bulge.

"R-really?", like what?"

"Well, whenever I wore some open toed heels, you were complimenting my shoes, I just thought that you actually have taste in shoes'', she replied, still rubbing your bulge through the pants.

"Sooyoung...", you groaned.

"Should I stop?", she grinded her foot on your shaft even harder.

You say nothing... Yes, it's dangerous to drive like that. But what can you do? Are you even capable of telling her to stop? Of course not, you can't tell her to stop. Even if you did, she'd not stop what she's doing.

Smirking at you she brings her left foot to your right cheek.

"So, I need an answer, should I stop?", she repeats the question with a slightly seductive tone.

"No...", you finally reply, so she continues to smother your cock with her right foot and starts caressing your face with her left foot. Next move was kinda predictable. She placed her toes on your lips, you opened your mouth welcoming a few of the toes inside.

"Ooh, Joohyun did mention that you like feet, but she didn't mention you are so freaky about it", she giggled surprised at your initiative.

Her toes tasted weird, somehow you catch some alcohol flavour, so you dare to say: "your toes taste weird"

"Did you think I'd put my shoes on without wiping the sand off it?", she asked, "I used antiseptic wipes, also why would I want to poke you when my feet are dirty, it sounds disgusting...", she continued.

"Well, I wouldn't mind, because it's you", you said, taking her toes out of your mouth and switching to kisses.

"Ewwww, you are a freak", she resented, snatching her feet from you, "why would you want to lick dirt, yikes!", she exclaims.

"Nah, it's not like that, to be honest, but if it's someone I like, I'd do that", you commented on her antics,massaging her feet with your right hand.

"Yeah, it's more like a display of affection that I'd want to worship your feet even though they might be dirty", you reply, gently massaging her left foot with your right hand, rubbing her sole with your thumb, running it along the whole length of her foot from bottom to the tip of her toes, still wet from your saliva.

"Umm, so you like me?", she asks, getting shy from your words, you can notice that her cheeks are getting a little pink.

To your disappointment Sooyoung takes her feet off your lap and sits properly in her seat, putting on her sneakers.

"Well-, you were about to answer, but you get interrupted

**You have arrived at your destination** - the voice from the navigator announced

"D-Do you want to come in?", she asks awkwardly, trying not to look at you. But why is she so awkward all of a sudden?

"S-sure", you reply with the same awkwardness in your voice.

You two get out of the car without saying a word and head inside the building, past the concierge desk, into the elevator and to her apartment on the 15th floor. Entering the apartment you are greeted by the sunlight coming from the all floor-to-ceiling windows at the side opposing the entrance door.

"Make yourself at home", she said, putting on some fluffy slippers, as went off somewhere.

"O-kay", you mumble, she probably didn't hear that anyway.

The whole apartment was dominated by light colours, bright curtains, pale walls, it's almost as if the light was radiated by the owner's aura.

You sit on a white chair next to the huge windows, through which you can see the whole city.

A minute later Sooyoung comes back with two beer bottles.

"Here, I figured you wouldn't mind something to drink", she says, sitting right next to you on another chair, she hands you one of the bottles.

"Yeah, thanks'', you reply, "the view is amazing, it's like the city is in the palm of your hand'', you continued, opening the bottle and taking a sip.

"Mhm, that's one of the reasons I chose this place, you can see each part of Seoul from here, the view calms me down", she comments.

You look at her, a gorgeous girl is sitting in front of you, drinking beer, "Yeah, it is indeed a peaceful sight to see", but obviously you were talking about her, not the view from the window.

"Can I take a picture of you? It's a very nice view, it will look good", you ask her all of a sudden, pulling out your camera, good thing that you have a habit of taking it everywhere with you.

"Sure", she puts down the bottle of beer and looks right into the camera "what should I do?", she then asks, acting if it was some other photoshoot.

"Actually, be natural, casual photos are the best, to be honest, I don't want you to be professional right now", you say while taking a photo of her.

"Okay, if you say so", she replies, relaxing in the sunlight, as it pierces her black hair curls, making her shine like the star she is.

You take photos from different angles, zoom in, zoom out. After that she gives you a grin, pointing at her feet, and you gladly take a picture of her soles.

"Do you want to kiss them, oppa?", she asks, looking at you with those sexy eyes of hers, looking at you in anticipation of what you are going to say.

You don't have to be asked twice, so you put down the camera, lean forward and place your lips on the bottom of her toes. First you kiss the toes of the left foot, going from the pinky all the way to the big toe, then on the right foot you go from the big toe to the pinky.

When you are finished you lean backwards, waiting for the next command.

"Cute, now lick my feet", Sooyoung giggles.

So you obey the same way you followed Joohyun's order the last time. You started to lick Sooyoung's feet, first the right foot from the tip of her toes to the bottom and then from the heel to the top of the left foot, savouring the salty taste of her delicious soles.

"Hihi, it tickles", Sooyoung chuckles looking at you, but she doesn't move, letting you do the job, "Now suck on my toes, oppa", she commands wiggling her toes in front of you.

You obey her once again, starting with her right foot once more, you suck on each of her toes, one by one, alternating between sucking, kissing and licking them, trying to clean every bit of her succulent toes.

After that you start licking and sucking between all five toes on her left foot while trying to envelope them in your mouth. Sooyoung's foot is definitely wider than Joohyun's, but you can't complain about that.

"Oh wow. Do you love my feet that much?", Sooyoung asks you, staring at you again with those lewd eyes of hers.

"Mmm, I guess the answer is yes'', she giggles admiring your thorough work, her toes are glistening with your saliva, those are surely clean now.

She leans forward and runs a finger down your left cheek "Such a submissive oppa, do you like it when I command you?", she asks you seductively. You nod in response.

"Get up and undress'', she said, and you don't ask why. Following her command, you take off your hoodie, t-shirt, joggers and socks. Sooyoung bit her bottom lip watching intently as you took off your garments.

Then she leaps at you and begins to touch your body, starting with the chest, she trails to your abs and starts going even lower, to the only part that remains clothed. With both of her hands she gently palms your prominent bulge up and down a couple of times, going lower to your ballsack, cupping it softly as massages your testicles.

"Mmmm, it feels so full, have you not been released for the past few days?", she asks looking right into your eyes and licking her lips, you just nod.

"Let me help you with that", she says, removing your undergarments, freeing your dick from its cover. Your cock springs out and bumps her into the face, Sooyoung bursts into a laughter because of that, which makes you laugh as well. 

"Your little friend is a quick one!", she giggles. She spits on your cock to lubricate it and proceeds to jerk you off.

Stroking your now naked shaft with her right hand at a good pace and continuing to grope your balls with the left, she extracts a moan from you indicating your pleasure. That's when she stops.

"Okay, continue oppa, you got one more foot to clean'', she says putting her right foot on the edge of the leg rest so you could have better access to it, leaning back into her seat, she closed her eyes waiting for you to proceed.

You kneel in front of her and do the same amount of worshipping to her right foot, sucking on each of her toes, leaving no dry space.

After that you grab both of her ankles and put the soles on your face. Her toes are on your cheekbones and while her soles rest on your lips. It's so soft, so divine and beautiful. It feels like time has just stopped completely. There is nothing in the world right now, it's just you and Sooyoung soles.

"Khm-khm", Sooyoung clears her throat.

"Oh, sorry, they looked so soft, so I couldn't resist to feel them on my face", you replied to her, kissing her heels

"Oh yeah?", she says, smothering your face with her feet, softly pressing them on your cheeks, "do you like that?", she asks without stopping moving her feet all over your face.

"Yes'', you reply between kisses and nibbles on her soles. Sooyoung produces a soft groan of satisfaction. After a few more seconds you go lower, her heels receive the same treatment of licking, kissing and sucking, making Sooyoung groan again.

Kissing her left ankle you go higher to her calf and to her thigh and then to her-

"S-Stop", she says all of a sudden, withdrawing away from you to sit properly in the chair .

"I didn't tell you to do that, are you impatient, oppa?", she says, her face getting red... Is she shy?

"Yes...", you reply desperately. Of course you are impatient. You want her, you want her so bad it hurts...

"I've noticed, but I'm not done playing with you", she says putting her feet in your crotch, "I think your friend wants to play too", she adds with a smirk on her gorgeous face.

She teases your shaft with her left foot, rubbing the tip between her big toe and her index toe, meanwhile massaging your balls with her right foot. It doesn't take long for you to leak pre-cum all over her toes.

"Fuck, Sooyoung...", you moan her name. She's doing a number on you.

"Lay down", she commands, throwing a cushion at you to use for your head. Then she stands up and goes to the kitchen to grab some unidentified bottle from the counter.

When she comes back you are already in a horizontal position ready for your mistress in anticipation. She sits back on the chair and pours some brown-ish liquid substance all over her soles and toes.

"Hope you don't mind honey, I don't have anything else here haha, she laughs and pours it on your cock.

She proceeds to rub it into your shaft and balls with her feet.

"Oppa is so hard for me", she says, pressing your length with her sole against your stomach. She trails it from bottom to the top with her right foot all the way through your length, while pinching your ballsack with the toes of her left foot.

As a result of Sooyoung's work you start to moan each time she completes the stroke with her foot.

"You are already leaking, haha", she giggles, rubbing your precum with her toes, griding it just between her big toe and the second toe for a brief moment and then completely stops.

"I'm also leaking because of you oppa...", she says, slipping her right hand under her dress, trailing a slightly darker wet spot on her white underwear.

"Sooyoung let me taste you", you said, starting to get up to help her with her "problem", but she held you back in place with her feet not letting you move.

Instead, she slips her hands under the dress and slips the underwear off underneath. Then she slides it to her thighs, down to her ankles and then off her legs. She grabs them and throws them away.

"Do you like the view?", she asks, rubbing her now exposed clitoris with her fingers, while playing with your shaft with both of her feet this time.

She places your cock between her soles and starts to fuck you with her soft feet, it's not slow this time, in a few seconds she has picked up a good pace, making you grunt almost every time her feet reached the bottom of your shaft.

"Fuck, Sooyoung...", you moan her name helping her motion by thrusting between her soles.

"Do you wanna cum?", she moans, fingering and rubbing herself with almost the same pace of her feet.

"Yes, fuck, I'm getting close", you grunt, increasing the speed of the footjob even more.

"Ah-h, y-yes, I'm close as well, oppa", she moans once again, also increasing the intensity of her hand work.

"Are you gonna cum, oppa?", she asks, "O-oh, yes, yes give it to me oppa, she grins at you.

"Y-yes, Sooyoung, you are gonna make me cum so hard!", you grunt in a low voice trying to resist the urge to release your pent up spunk all over her feet. Just a little bit longer, just a little bit, you don't want this to end.

"Yes, yes oppa, blow it all over my beautiful feet that you love so much", she says staring right into your eyes.

"Gonna cum all over my soles? Or maybe you want to paint my lovely toes and tops white with your creamy seed?, she asks switching from fucking you with her soles to rubbing you with her lovely toes again.

"Fuuuuuck, Sooyoung-", you moan her name out loud, being unable to say anything else.

"I guess I should decide then", she says, coming to a full stop and then gets down on the floor. She spins around so her ass is facing you. She lays down on her stomach and places her feet back on your shaft.

She resumes fucking you with her feet in a reverse footjob.

It doesn't take long for you to reach your limits, bringing you to the edge of your release. 

You grab her by the ankles and help her fuck you with her feet till you cross the line of no return.

Sooyoung's name is coming out of your mouth in a moan of pure satisfaction. The volcano has erupted.

First spur is released from the tip of your shaft with quite a high velocity and lands on her right leg, droplets going here and there from the calf down to her sole.

"Yes, yes, give me all of your cum, yes!", Sooyoung demanded, slowly stroking you with her feet.

Second blob released in a string across the whole length of her left sole that you had just cleaned with your mouth, staining her foot from the heel to the toes.

Next spur was not powerful enough to make an "explosion", but as most of the eruptions happen, your hot lava was going down your length reaching sooyoung soles, which are still gently pumping your shaft on both sides.

"Wow. Oppa, if I knew you would have such a big load stored in there I'd not let it go anywhere but inside me", Sooyoung says in a surprise.

She sits up and reaches for your cock, now pumping the remaining cum out of you with her right hand.

The last few weaker pulses of your cock released the remaining cum on her fingers, milking you completely dry.

She flips over on her back, lifting her legs a little to show you her soles covered in your white paint. Then she spreads the cum she just extracted out of you all over her toes, rubbing your load into her skin.

Doing the same with her soles and after playing enough with her feet and your cum, she brings her hand to her lips and licks remaining semen off her fingers.

"Mmm, so tasty", she says with a giggle on her face.

"I guess honey helps", you say.

You are spent, laying there on the floor you feel completely exhausted after an intense high that you just had.

But...

In a blink of an eye Sooyoung is between your legs sucking your cockhead trying to milk any cum that is remaining inside your half erected cock.

"Fuck, Sooyoung, please", you moan her name again, trying to get her off you.

But you are too weak to do anything, she ignores your plea as she’s pumping your shaft with her right hand in a tandem while bobbing her head all over your length.

This magical sudden blowjob on your sensitive cock makes you moan even louder than before.

She brings you to full erection again and with a pop she takes your penis out of her mouth.

"Shall we go for round 2?" Sooyoung asks, getting up and helping you up as well.

But right that instant you are interrupted by an intercom call.

"Oh come on, who could it be? "Sooyoung whines, heading to the door.

"Yes? Who is this?", she answers the call with an annoyed voice.

"Hey, Sooyoung-ah, it's me", you hear a very familiar voice from the intercom, but can't really recognize who it was exactly, definitely someone you know or met before.

"Oh, shit. Unnie, I totally forgot that we are having a slumber party tonight. Come in", Sooyoung replies and presses the button on the intercom, which opens the door.

"Get dressed. Quick!", she says to you slightly panicking.

You take all of your clothes and run to the bathroom to get dressed, meanwhile Sooyoung proceeds to clean herself and the floor with wet wipes she grabbed on the counter.

The bathroom is pretty big, there is a big bathtub and a separate shower, the sink countertop is filled with a lot of different skin care and makeup products. Well, that is expected for a girl like her, her face needs to be perfect all the time.

One minute later you come out from the bathroom and head back to the living room. Sooyoung and her guest are discussing something in the kitchen.

"Well, well, well. Who do we have here?", a girl with black long hair asks.

"Umm... Hello Miss Kang", you mock her a little by addressing her with her last name.

"Lol, drop this bullshit, we are not at work", she replies.

"I apologise, Miss Kang", you say and all 3 of you burst into laughter.

"Anyways, what are you doing at Sooyooung's place?", she raises her eyebrow.

All of a sudden awkward silence descended in the room...

"Uhh... Did I interrupt something?", Seulgi asked, breaking the silence.

"Not really, we were discussing some work matters", Sooyoung answers, "but we actually just finished, right?", she added, addressing you.

"Y-yeah, we just finished discussing the next photoshoot for the fashion brand Sooyoung is working now.", you replied, adding to the lies Sooyoung just said.

"Oh, right you've had the first photoshoot today, how did it go?", Seulgi asks you two.

"It went very well!", you answered, "Sooyoung did a great job, so photos came out very well", you added.

"Yeah, it was nice, but the painting is as good as the painter that works on it", Sooyoung said, winking at you.

Your phone buzzes. Incoming call your girlfriend.

"Well said Sooyoung!", Seulgi said approving her point.

**BZZ BZZ**

"My apologies ladies, I need to take this call, might be important", you say to them, heading to another room.

You go to the guest room and pick up a call.

"Hello, what's up honey?", you reply.

"Hello, we need to talk", she says.

"Sure, what's the matter?", you say curiously.

"Not over the phone", she answers.

"Oooookay?", sure. I'll be home shortly.

"Okay", was her reply and she hung up.

What the heck was that? Uhh...

You head back to the kitchen to Sooyoung and Seulgi.

"Okay ladies, I gotta go home", you said.

"Oh, that's sad, I thought you gonna stay for a little, but it's fine", Sooyung says with a disappointed voice, "Hope we can hang out again like that next time", she winks at you, obviously alluding to continuing what was left unfinished.

"Yeah, sorry, duty calls", you both head to the door.

You put your shoes on and head out. But before you leave Sooyoung stops you and gives you a peck on a cheek, absolutely throwing you off guard.

"I-I'll see you later", she says right after blushing away. And just like that from a fling Sooyoung made this much more complicated.

"Y-yeah. B-bye", you said rushing out.

"Okay that was random, I'll deal with this later", you said out loud going downstairs to your car.

So you just head home, but you are unable to get thoughts of what just happened out of your head. That kiss on your cheek from Sooyoung... What the fuck?

[brainscrems]

Making a little pinned post for goyim who stumble across this blog. Nothing in your background, none of your experiences with marginalization, nothing at all makes you exempt from having unconsciously incorporated antisemitism into your world view and mindset. The best thing you can do is seek out a wide range of all jewish voices with no preconceived notions, hear how different things affect their lives and oppression, and take that into account about what you say and do. Next thing to address. Antisemitism from the left DOES exist and it IS in your movements for palestinian liberation, as ugly a truth as that is. I support a free palestine and an end to genocide. So, when I showed up to my first protest and saw a displayed swastika with hundreds of people around, I was extremely dismayed that not a single one was willing to stand up and say a goddamned thing. This is the state of antisemitism on the left. Most people won’t *openly* spout hateful rhetoric, tho those who will are quite loud. The real problem is that there is no collective willingness to go after the open antisemites in these movements. It’s deemed acceptable because it’s for a good cause. And let me tell you, this shit is quite typical and we jews see it constantly. Just because you aren’t seeing antisemitism doesn’t mean it’s not there. Of course you aren’t seeing it. You’re not jewish. You don’t have the background to notice shit that you’ve been taught is normal and fine. Yet, your silence in the face of these things or even your engagement in them still hurts us. And. You know what they say. If nazi joins 4 people at a table and they do nothing about it you have 5 nazis. So. What can you do? Seek out jewish voices and LEARN!! Don’t tokenize us. Don’t choose ones you already agree with. The first resource I recommend for dealing w antisemitism in leftist spaces is called “The Past Didn’t Go Anywhere” by April Rosenblum. This is a jew with a long history of palestinian advocacy and she has done a great job at breaking down where antisemitism happens. Link at the bottom. It was written in 2007 and remains depressingly relevant today. This pamphlet is 24 pages, a bit long, but very thorough. This pamphlet is the barebones details of what’s antisemitic btw. The things listed in there are basic “nearly every jew in the world” would agree things. There is more than just what is contained in there that’s antisemitic and your best resource is gonna be listening to jewish voices. No tokenizing. No dismissing. Just listening and seeing what makes sense. That said, this shit is essential reading because it gives you the tools to start making spaces safe for jews. If you don’t care about that then, well, you probably don’t belong on this blog.

EDIT: In an ideal world I would like a binational one-state solution with a right of return for jews and palestinians as well as massive reparations for palestinians. I don’t identify as a zionist. And. I know jews who identify as zionists who want the exact same things I do. If your rhetoric is calling for violence against those people you can fuck right off. Zionist is a jewish word that has been appropriated by goyim, both by christian “zionists” as well as those who wish to discredit jews wanting to live peacefully with palestinians in our shared homeland. It means whatever the jew using it says it does in the context of their speech. The people who support the ethnic cleansing and genocide of palestinians or the treatment of palestinians as second class citizens are called kahanists and racist assholes, not zionists. Stop misusing our fucking word. Learn what the word means from actual members of our community instead of shouting about it as a fucking outsider and appropriating a term with deep community roots. Yea, Israel has committed so many war crimes and is currently committing genocide. This is not what zionism represents to most zionists so if you’re pushing that narrative just fucking do better and stop putting jewish lives at risk with your irresponsible rhetoric. I once again redirect you to the linked pamphlet. This is not a heavily focused on topic in it, but it gives clear instructions on what not to do, even if it doesn’t give you all the details on the why.

[mockerycrow]

hii! i love the way you describe the 141 so far, and i would love to see how you would write an konig, ghost, soap, price and alejandro reaction and headcanons with a s/o who has an accent?

i taught myself english from a young age so i never really had someone to practice with, so my accent is very strong (im from south america, which also helps lol) and i would like to see how the cod boys can react to this in your style <33

Reader With An Accent - MWII

GIF BY: @collinnmckinley - masterlist

A/N: thank you so much for your patience and thank you for liking my writing!! please let me know if i executed this right!! i am american and i don’t want to misrepresent. also this is lowkey coded for people w/ accents from non-english speaking countries, so sorry everyone who is from a english speaking country and has an accent oops — i also kinda took your “i taught myself english from a young age” for alejandro’s chunk. hope that’s ok!

König

König wouldn’t react to your accent very much, unless it’s a very thick accent because then he would have trouble understanding you.

If your accent is thick, he probably asks you repeat yourself a couple of times; English isn’t his first language either, so I can imagine maybe a couple of times you both sit there in silence with each other because neither of you guys can understand each other. He has a semi-thick accent, too.

Sometimes, he does understand you but he just wants to hear you continue to talk.

Maybe König and you practice English together, while teaching each other your native languages on accident. You guys didn’t mean to, but you end up trying to explain what a word is in your different languages and by the end of it, you begin to understand full sentences in german; the same for him with your language.

He considers this a bonding experience :)

Ghost

Like König, he probably wouldn’t react to your accent too much unless it was incredibly thick. Ghost has met all different types of people and his native language is English, so he has a better understanding of what you’re trying to say, but he pokes fun at you like he pokes fun at Soap.

On the topic of Soap, you two together is his worst nightmare.

“Speak English.” Is his favorite phrase when you are speaking English, but your accent is just overpowering literally everything.

You like to throw his words back into his face when he says some sort of British slang—you get a surprisingly loud chuckle out of him when you pick up some of his slang. He thinks it’s funny whenever anyone who isn’t British begins to talk like him.

If Ghost isn’t already fluent in your language, he pretty much becomes damn near fluent by the time you’ve known him for a good couple of months. He picks this stuff up easily.

Soap

Oh, this would be actual hell on Earth. Not for you two, but for the others.

Soap doesn’t comment on your accent initially, but you two begin to share a brain cell and a half (on accident) when Ghost’s eyes show visible frustration.

“He can barely understand me, the two of’us will be a real party trick!”

You and Soap gang up on everyone else if your accent is thick. He understands the frustration of people not understanding you.

Sometimes it takes Soap a moment to process what you’re saying, but he only asks you to repeat yourself a couple of times. (He has a good method of deciphering words, even if he cannot understand through an accent).

Soap likes to teach you his Scot phrases and you teach him your own in return.

Price

He gives you an eyebrow raise as a reaction, but that’s about it. Price has worked with so many people all over the world, he doesn’t really care to comment on your accent.

Price has gotten pretty good at understanding thick accents through the years, so he probably only asks you to slow your speaking when giving him a verbal report about something.

Price 100% is the type to accidentally pronounce something wrong but say it with full confidence and you always correct him, leaving him dumbfounded.

“My lips just don’t move that way, love.”

It’s likely he’s fluent in your language so he doesn’t mind if you talk to him in it; just give him a few seconds to translate in his head, okay?

Alejandro

If you meet outside of a total progressional setting, he probably has the most reaction to your accent out of anyone.

Alejandro’s language is a very big part of him so he assumes it’s the same for anyone else.

Alejandro doesn’t have an incredibly thick accent, but he knows people who do and he’s known them for years, so it’s easier for him to understand than a lot of other people.

If you taught yourself English and you end up pronouncing something wrong, Alejandro casually corrects you to help you out. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it either, he knows sometimes people get embarrassed from it. His first language isn’t English either, so he understands the struggle.

He DOES start laughing if you try to pronounce something that you so clearly cannot, even after being corrected.

[igotanidea]

No strings attached (2) : neighbor!JT x reader

masterlist

part. 1

***

„What happened?”

When Jason came into the staircase the first thing he noticed was Y/N, who was crouching next to her door with a sad face, cleaning something that seemed awfully like….

“Is that blood?!” he yelled, falling to his knees right next to her.

“What?” she scoffed “Of course not, are you crazy? It’s just paint.”

“sorry….” He mumbled. Jason had way to much experience with blood to not think about that particular thing when he saw Y/N’s door swimming in color red. “Who did this?”

“I have some ideas.” She retorted pointing at one half-scratched word, that at the moment were proudly announcing to the world that she was a bitch. “Guess your lady friend really doesn’t like me.”

“I’m sorry.” Jason said again, a bit of remorse showing on his face “let me help you with this. It’s only fair given the fact it’s all my fault.”

“I can handle it.”

“Please, Y/n.” he whispered and only then she turned around to fully look at him. Well he was fine. Tall and well-build with a mop of black hair with a single white strand right above the forehead and pretty green eyes that were currently showing all of his remorse for the situation.

“What happened to your hair?” she asked just to deflect the tension she felt and that question took them both by surprise.

“It’s…. kinda long story.”

“Really? So it has nothing to do with acting like a bad boy and trying to keep your cool?”

“What?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head and smiled lightly “it’s fine if you don’t want to talk. After all we don’t really know each other.”

“But…..” he tried to chime in but she didn’t let him.

“given the circumstances I think it’s better if you just stay away from me, Jason. I mean look what happened after the first time we talked. Next time some other of your ex-girlfriend see me with you, I’ll probably end up with a knife in my chest or an acid on my face. Not exactly a nice perspective, am I right?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Jason hissed trying to reach for the sponge Y/N was using to clean.

“Yeah, sure. Does she know that?”

“I told her!”

“Sorry sunshine, but take it from a girl with experience. She won’t let go easily. I know I wouldn’t.” She babbled and put her hand inside the bucket with water, accidentally touching Jason’s hand. Only then her eyes grew wide at the sudden realization of what she said dawning on her.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Jason smirked and raised an eyebrow, even if that sudden touch was … nice, to say the least. Gentle, delicate, like nothing he was used to. Definitely not while patrolling and fighting at night. And even when he had female friends it was always physical. Rough animal fuck just to satisfy the basic needs. And it was fine. Convenient for both parties.

Jason was only familiar with pain, anger and a flood of sudden contradictory feelings in both Red Hood and Jason Todd version. And to his own surprise he enjoyed something different coming from Y/N even if she almost immediately retrieved her hand, not giving him w chance to dwell on that feeling.

“No.” she simply said. Nothing more. No explanation, no blushing, no excuses. Just one simple no.

“Shame. I think you are hot too.”

“Sure” she laughed so hard she actually started crying “I’m hot. That’s a hell of a good joke Todd. I look nothing like the hot girls. I mean, look at me.”

“I am…..”

“I’m not skinny, I hate wearing short and dresses because of my curves and I definitely don’t skip on meals just to lose weight and it shows. To quote a classic: I ain’t no size two. I’m fine with the way I look, but I am definitely not hot.”

 “And yet, Madison clearly treats you like a threat.” He pointed out

“a threat?” the girl raised an eyebrow “nah, not at all. I’m nothing more than a stain on her fancy clothes. A stain you need to eradicate and that is precisely what she’s doing.”

“I don’t ….”

“I meant what I said, Todd. You better stay away from me. I really don’t need any more trouble than I already have.”

“Am I trouble to you?”

“You scream trouble. In more ways than one.” She rolled her eyes “I don’t know about you, but I’m fine with silently passing each other on the stairs. I’m not known for being too open with people.”

“Guess we have that in common.” He scratched his neck in an awkward way, wondering what he could possibly say to make her change her mind. The fact was, the more she was trying to push him away, the more he wanted to pull her in. He might have not been the one to form a true relationship, but the way she was acting and pointing at her body barely seconds before, got his mind spinning. He wondered how it would be like to have her. To have an innocent, maybe a bit shy girl and not a vamp, he was so used to, just to get himself off. How it would be like to feel her underneath him, get those soft hands on his body, to kiss all those places where she was insecure, whisper sweet nothings into her ear while making her feel good. Cause sure as hell he would. How it would be like to map her whole body, find the spots that would make her melt into him and elicit sweet whines and moans out of her, all of that while pressing her into the mattress or wall, seeing her face twisting in pleasure, maybe making her scream his name when she came …... Shit! What was happening to him!? He barely met her and she was his neighbor for fuck’s sake. Maybe all of those one-night stands finally messed up his brain. That was what he was doing. One and done? Sure, even if some girls were becoming clingy after one night (Madison being the best example). But fucking a neighbor he would pass by on a daily basis was surely not a good idea. At all.

“Great. I suppose we just made ourselves a deal.” suddenly she stood up bringing him back to reality “wanna shake on it?”

For a moment Jason hesitated. On one hand he wanted to feel her touch again, craved it even. On the other was fully aware that given his not-so-innocent fantasy-filled brain he wouldn’t be able to settle only on that. So he shook his head as an answer, refusing to fuel the fire inside him any further.

“Too bad.” She pouted “Anyway, it’s late and this stupid stain is not coming off. Guess that’s me saying goodbye to my deposit money” Y/N laughed bitterly “I’m just going to head to bed and I suggest you do the same.” She opened the door to her apartment, turning to face him before disappearing inside. ‘Good night, Jason.” she smiled lightly.

“Good night, Y/N” he whispered back, barely holding himself from grabbing her waist, pushing her into the wall and forcing his way in with her.  

*** 

It was not a good night.

Well, definitely not for Jason.

It was irrational and crazy on so many levels, but he simply wanted the girl next door. And once he felt that desire there was no chances for him to let this go.

And the fact that she was giving him mixed signals was not helping at all. Did she tell him to stay away? Yes. But did she said goodbye with that pretty smile and sparkling eyes? Also yes. And fuck if Jason didn’t want to take some action with her.

But then again. He wasn’t doing relationship and hooking up with the neighbor, especially someone who seemed as kind and nice as Y/N would only cause trouble.

“Fuck!” he hissed to himself, barely capable of focusing on patrolling, beating the shit out of the criminals in more violent way than ever, getting needy and horny just by thinking about her. What was she doing at the moment? Was she thinking about him too? In the way he was thinking about her? No, that was nonsense, she had every reason to hate him. But maybe that hate would turn into some tension relieving and getting herself off? Alone? Was she lying in her own bed, touching herself, trying to get that sweet high? Fuck, he would be more than happy to help her with that. To introduce her to new levels of pleasure and ecstasy, which he was perfectly capable of providing.  

If he were to knock on her door right that moment would she even bother opening? Dressed only in her pajamas or even better, wrapped up only in a towel, straight after shower making it so much easier for him to get what he wanted and needed?

Shit.

He could imagine her curvy body, still a bit damp from the water, her sweet smell, the softness of her hair. Her innocent, surprised gaze – the same she made when he first asked her to play his girlfriend in front of Madison.  Holy shit, was she a virgin? Oh, he would be more than happy to be her first. The first to touch her body in a way she never knew before, to make her a woman.  

“Fuck, just stop you idiot!” his mind was definitely falling into straight-from-porn fantasies. “Just stop it!”

But it was easier said than done and getting progressively more painful with every passing minute. And if he wasn’t careful some of the bats patrolling nearby would notice the tent in his jeans and tease him about it. So gathering all his strength, both mental and physical he started beating all those crime lords to a bloody pulp. The sign and smell of blood making him calm down a bit, drawing back the memories of the time when he was the one being beaten with a fucking crowbar and finally – killed.

Yeah, it definitely did wonders to his excitement, but nothing for his mental state and it quickly became more visible than the tent in the jeans.

‘Jace?” of course his caring older brother had to ask “are you doing all right? You got that gaze….”

“Just fuck off, Grayson!” Jason yelled not able to hold himself anymore. “Just fuck off!”

“What is wrong with him today?” Tim’s voice echoed through the comms, but before anyone could give him an answer Jason took off running leaving the surprised bats behind.

God, he just needed to be alone for a few minutes to help himself.

[nico-esoterica]

Not sure if this is talked about, but in my personal experience with manifesting, sometimes you're manifesting a mindset shift. It helps align you with what you want and it becomes easier to 'act as if.' Imo, 'acting as if' feels performative for me with certain desires and isn't natural for me to do. With some things, I can do that and it's just a part of my everyday mindset and it doesn't feel fake. Like, I'm going into it knowing that I'm pretending but it doesn't feel like I'm forcing it. In my manifestation journey, I've learned that if I'm forcing a method or perspective, it's not for me and I do what works for me.

I'm a very leisurely person and I don't subscribe to needing to 'act' on anything. I had a gripe w/ the idea of inspired action because of our collective trauma from Capitalism and the 'grind-set' it requires. But with manifestation, I've found that a version/optional route of getting your result involves that..but it doesn't feel like it.

I made a post not too long ago about randomly stumbling upon an opportunity to receive free money for filing for settlement claims on twitter. A few days after that and unrelated to my own research on it, I just so happened to get a document in the mail inviting me into a massive settlement opportunity.. like a perfect synchronicity. It was a big sign for me that all of my money affirmations were snowballing and coming true in real time.

There's stories about just waking up to things. Those are all valid and they happen. You can even decide that's how they show up for you exclusively. But with some things, it shows up as you being inspired to act on something that reflects a recent mental shift you've made. You start seeing yourself and your life differently and you act in accordance to it. You become savvier, more well put together, educated or well informed, and you're thinking and moving as who you've been saying that you are. I'd argue that this is still shifting identities or transforming realities. But it seems more subtle to us when it'll be dramatic to a person who hasn't seen us in 6 months.

If you change your mind about yourself in any way, you've shifted. That means your actions are inspired because you're aligned with the new you. That's still acting as if. I just didn't like how it was communicated and found that it doesn't inherently come in the form as performing or faking it until results occur. Either way, by just changing your mind about who you are and what experiences you want to have, everything will line up for you to reflect that in the most mundane to simply unfathomable ways possible. Online, I feel like this can be accelerated because there's an infinite number of ways for what you're desiring to show up. Or you'll magically find the right rabbit hole or land on the right algorithmic feed to take you there. Every move is the correct one.

Change your mind about your experience, then everything will change. / art credit: girl on the couch by pang xunqin /

[soljean]

Born a Kook, became a Pogue. - JJ Maybank X Reader Fanfic

Summary: reader lives on Figure Eight, meeting JJ at the annual bonfire one night. From that point on, she can’t seem to stay away from him, despite reader’s strict parents.

This is loosely based off of a dream I had recently. I don’t ever post my own writing, but I had fun with this one! Working on a pt2 if anyone is interested!

——————————————————--

Growing up on the outer banks, you learn quickly that there are two tribes that don’t coexist well. You grew up lucky, always having enough food to eat and clothes to wear. You had access to private schools and country clubs, deeming you part of the Kooks, the rich kids from Figure Eight. On the other side of the island was the Cut, where most blue collar workers had multiple jobs just to make the bare minimum of ends meet. Those were the Pogues. For whatever reason, these social classes never mixed well, one feeling threatened by the other. The fights that would break out when the two intermingled never quite made sense. You never minded the idea of having friends with different backgrounds and life experiences. Not to mention, the material things you had growing up never really meant a thing to you. That’s why on Friday night, you jumped at the opportunity to go to the Boneyard for the annual bonfire, not caring if you’d find yourselves among the Pogues.

Your friend Molly had asked you to go, you and her had only recently become friends. Living on figure Eight, you never really felt like you had anyone you connected to, so good friends were hard to come by. Molly was nice enough, but you two were different. She had of course spent time shopping and choosing the right outfit for the night, where as you settled comfortably for some cutoff shorts and a tank top. It was a beach party at night, was it really a fashion show?

Once you arrived, it didn’t take Molly much time to find some Kook guy to flirt with for the evening, leaving you to figure it out for yourself. You grabbed yourself a drink and started making your way through the crowds of people, looking for someone to talk to. Before you could make it very far, you heard shouting. “Here we go again” you mumbled to yourself. Of course, you caught glimpse of a group of Kooks provoking a fight with the Pogues not too far from you. Knowing how this typically went, you tried to move out of the way, when suddenly you got shoved to the ground, spilling your drink and landing face down in the sand.

“Woah, you okay there?” you heard someone yell to you. You tried get up and see who was talking to you, but you felt a stabbing pain in your shoulder, which had taken the impact of the fall. Your face twisted in discomfort, you rolled on your back and looked up towards the voice you heard. “Yeah, I’m great” you replied, sarcastic as ever. You were met with a pair of soft blue eyes and floppy blond hair to match, the boy’s face filled with concern. With commotion still going on around you, he bent down, clearly trying to help you.

“Come on, let’s get you up and out of the way” he said, taking your hand on your good side and pulling you to your feet. He kept hold of your hand, walking you far off and away from the crowds. Turning around and facing you, you finally got a proper look at him. He was clearly a Pogue from the Cut, with a cutoff t-shirt and cargo shorts. He had kind eyes and a nice smile, his hand still holding a PBR can. He placed his can in the sand and looked at your shoulder. “Can you move it?” He asked you.

“No, I don’t think so. I think I dislocated it” you said, starting to got nervous.

“No worries, I can pop it back in for you” he stated.

“What, do you even know how to do that?” You asked. I mean honestly you didn’t even know the guy.

“Yeah, had my fare share of injuries over the years. Just hold still.” He said, placing his hands on your shoulder. “It’s gonna hurt, but I’ll be quick okay?” He said, looking for confirmation.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s just get it over with.” You said. With that, he made one move and you heard a snap, popping back in place. The pain was radiating throughout your arm, and your eyes started to water, but you didn’t yell in pain, trying to hold it together in front of the stranger you had just met.

“There, I’ve got you, it's good now.” He said, holding you close to him as your breathing steadied. “You’re okay”. After a moment or two, he stepped back and looked you in the eye. “Better?”

“Yeah, uh, thank you. Thanks so much” you said. You couldn’t help but wonder what kind of life the boy lived if he know how to fix a dislocated shoulder at 17 years old. Nonetheless, you were grateful. “I’m Y/N” you said.

“JJ, and no problem. I saw you get knocked down back there, didn’t look pretty. Sorry you got caught up in that. My buddies always get themselves in the middle of something at these things” he states.

Looking around, the party seemed to have cleared out, the fight clearly scaring the remainder of people off, including your friend Molly. “No problem, it tends to happen here regardless. Looks like we cleared the place out” you joked. He laughed too. “I guess so. Which way are you headed?” He asked.

You pointed towards Figure Eight. “This way” you said. He started in that direction, even though you could clearly tell that was not his side of the island. “I’ll walk you, its dark out, and you took a real beating tonight” he said.

Walking next to JJ, you two began chatting. You learned he worked at the country club your family frequented. He grew up on the cut with his dad, an only child just like yourself. From what you could tell, they didn’t have the best relationship, mentioning that he lived mostly at his friend John B’s house. “Hope I get to see you around at the club sometime” you said. Despite your difference in social class, you could tell he was down to earth, something lacking in the Kook community.

“For sure you will.” He smiled. You approached your place, turning to look at JJ. “Thank you for your help tonight and for walking me home. I know it would have been easier to walk away, so I really appreciate what you did” you confessed. The throbbing of your fresh injury still very much present as a reminder.

“Anytime Y/N. Hope that shoulder doesn’t hurt you too much tomorrow. From my experience it can be sore for a few days. Anyways, I’ll see you around.”. From his experience? With that, the kind boy from the cut walked the other direction and out of sight. You began to feel more hopeful that some genuine people still existed on the island.

————————————————————————

The next few months, you did in fact see JJ at the club working for time to time. One of the first times you spotted him, he immediately clocked your difference in behavior around your parents versus the time you met him. Stopping you on the way to the bathroom one day, he pulled you aside just to check in.

“Hey, Y/N, I was hoping I’d see ya here sometime. Everything good?” He asked.

“Yeah totally, but just so you know, having kook parents isn’t all its made out to be sometimes.” You say with obvious irritation. “This is my life, getting dragged from one snoopy party to the next. Coming to the club to talk with shallow people”

“Ouch, didn’t think I was that bad.” He says, clutching his chest for dramatic effect.

You laugh. “Not you of course. Sorry, you’re sweet to check in. How’s your shift going?” You ask.

“Uhh almost done for the night thankfully, but I should get back. If you’re around later, want to meet me after my shift? Was thinking of a smoke to end the night.” He asked. “Sounds like a plan” I smile. We agree on a meeting spot outside the club and with the he disappeared back to his work.

He quickly became someone you enjoyed running into at the club. Truth be told, you didn’t feel all that happy being a Kook, living life by you parents rules all the time. They were strict, pressuring you constantly to excel in school and meet their high expectations. JJ was different. He was laid back and fun. He was never afraid to let loose or go on an adventure. His friends were welcoming towards you, and they were equally as fun to get to know, but something about JJ was different. You had a connection with him that was special. It added a new component to your life that was almost healing. Overtime, you could feel yourself relaxing and having a part of your life to look forward to more and more.

————————————————————————————

One night, you sat in your room studying when you heard a knock at your door. “Come in” you said, knowing it was likely one of your parents.

“Hi sweetie, do you have a minute to talk?” You mom asked.

“Sure, what’s up?” You asked, closing your laptop and turning to face her.

“Well, your dad and I are concerned about you becoming a little distracted recently. I know you have been making some new friends, but spending too much time with the other side of the island isn’t the best way to keep your priorities in check. You know how vital your education is.” says your mother.

You immediately felt defensive. “Mom, I like my friends. They aren’t distracting me. It’s healthy to be around good people, I feel happier with them then I have in a long time.” You defend as politely as you can.

“Well, we just think it’s best if you stay away for now and keep yourself focused. You’ll need to start thinking about colleges soon, and we want you to have the best opportunities possible. I’m sure you can understand that. For now, no Pogues.”. She stands up and begins making her way to the door.

“This is really unfair Mom, I hope you know that.” you defend.

“We are doing this for you, you know that. Your future comes above everything.” She says.

As soon as the door closes, tears fall. Theres that feeling again. That overwhelming feeling that your life was being controlled and decided for you. Your parents liked Molly, how were the Pogues that different? They were kinder, more loyal. Sure they didn’t have all the material things you had growing up, but that never mattered. As you sit in your room, you start to lose hope and wonder if you’ll be able to stay away.

———————————————————-

A few weeks go by, and you try to obey your parents wishes, staying away from JJ and the Pogues. Of course, JJ had reached out every day, and you were running out of excuses to dodge him. You didn’t want to tell him how your parents felt, knowing it was unfair and mean, but you missed him desperately. He was your best friend.

One night, your parents drag you to some stuffy club event. Truth be told, you looked fried. The last few weeks left you depressed and strained. You were burned out from school and with no social outlet to bring you joy. You sit at the table, faking smiles as best you can, but anyone who knew you would be able to see there was something wrong.

Across the room, you see JJ serving tables. “Oh no” you think. You’re not sure if you can handle an interrogation with him right now. You quickly excuse yourself from the table, walking out of the dining room to find anywhere to be alone and away from a possible run in with JJ. You hop out onto the balcony of the restaurant that is tucked away, noticing its empty. You take a few moments to catch your breath when you hear the door open behind you. “Y/N?” You hear. Of course it was him. You feel panicked, unsure if you could face him.

“I saw you run out back there. I just wanted to come check on you.” He says. You turn to face him, tears welling in your eyes. As soon as he sees your face he softens, going over to you and pulling you into his chest. “Hey, what’s wrong? What’s been going on with you lately?” He asks, hands rubbing up and down your back. You lean back to face him, not sure what to say. He moves to wipe the tears from under your eyes, getting more concerned the longer you stay quiet. “Baby you know you can talk to me” he whispers, keeping his hands on the sides of your face.

You decide to just confess the truth right there, knowing there was no way around it. “My parents asked me not to see you anymore. They think it’s better for my future if I stay away, which is complete bullshit. That’s why I’ve been so MIA though, and it’s been killing me. I’ve missed you.” You stumble through your words, unsure how he’ll react, but glad you got it out in the open. JJ lets out a breath you didn’t know he’d been holding. Now that you are staring him in the eyes, you notice that he too looks completely exhausted.

“I thought I did something to push you away” he says. “I missed the shit out of you, Y/N.” He pulls you back in for a hug. “We’ll figure something out, just please don’t scare me like that again.” He says.

“You have no idea how tough parents can be.” You say to him. He pulls back to look at you, searching your eyes for something.

“I just might actually. Look, can you get away and meet me later?” He pleads.

“Um, yeah sure. I’ll figure out a way. Just text when you can.”

“Okay” he confirms, leaning down to press his lips to your forehead. “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure this out I promise. Now get back inside before they come looking”. He’s right, who knows how long you’ve already been gone. You take one last look in his eyes, then turn around, heading back into the dining room for a few more hours of empty conversation.

[fyodior]

FLORA please . . . thinking abt dazai n fedya locked up together makes mi think of a threesome w them 🤭 how rough do u think they would be :O r they fighting over who gets to fuck ur pretty cunny ! ! giv mi all da deets teheheh :3

coco!! hmmmm ok i've been thinking a lot abt this hehehe sorry for how long it got 🤭

okey this could go so many different ways i could write an actual dissertation but. im going to come at this as if u are fyodor's lover hehehe

so. fedya is typically very gentle and sweet with his lover, esp in bed (unless you ask for otherwise) but... he hates dazai, and would rather die than let him have anything of his, especially u. so if u somehow stumbled into a threesome with them, it would be a lot djfjsjdj the way i see it happening is dazai purposely pushing all of fyodor's buttons abt how beautiful and sexy you are and how bad he wants you, probably taunts fyodor and says that he doesn't satisfy you ,,, and usually fedya can ignore dazai easily but when it comes to u and saying some shit like that he absolutely loses his SHIT and is like you're gonna watch and see how good i fuck her, how she falls apart over my cock

and he's very right!!! u do you def do. plus you've always thought dazai was kinda sexy so u agree to go along with their stupid game

so it starts out as just u and fedya while dazai watches, likely starting out w just missionary/ nearly mating press. he immediately jumps to what he knows makes you whine and moan the most, like fucking u right at the angle he knows feels the best, not too slow but not too fast, hips meeting flush with yours as he massages your clit and presses sweet kisses all over your face and lips. bc to him, this isn't just abt showing dazai how good the sex is, anyone can make sex feel good, he wants to rub it in his face too how much u just fucking love him and want him to be inside u not just cuz of how heavenly it feels, but bc u need to be that close to him. dazai fists his angry red cock, massaging himself to the sounds of your whimpers and cries and just how hot u look getting fucked.

when fyodor spills his cum inside you is when he decides its ok for dazai to take u next, smirking bc now he has to deal with the fact that he'll be fucking fyodor's cum right into you. u cant lie tho, dazai is really fucking talented. he's taking you from the back, ass high in the air as he shoves his desperate, needy, neglected cock so deep inside you it kisses your cervix and makes ur eyes roll back in your head. dazai is kinda losing it himself, absolutely mesmerized by the way ur cunt stretches and pulls with each thrust of his cock, the cream that's dripping down ur thighs and gathering onto his length. fyodor's the one watching now, irked that dazai's making you moan but is confident enough to know he could never be as good. he can't stay away for too long tho, sidles up next to u as dazai continues to fuck u as he sticks his hand in between ur thighs to rub your clit and suck on your nipples, and to say you were overstimulated was an understatement. your senses were so overloaded and on fire as they both had their way with you, but goddamn did it feel fucking amazing. it was the best orgasm you had had in a long time.

one of the hard and fast rules fyodor set was that dazai was by NO means allowed to cum inside u, and if he did it would result in very unsightly consequences. dazai doesn't rly listen to rules but he knew fyodor did not fuck around when it came to u. so he settles for flipping you over so he can cum all over ur tummy, using his fingertips to spread the seed all over you and squeeze your breasts. fyodor slaps his hands away. ur incredibly out of breath and fucked out at this point, a tiny bit of drool pooling at the edge of your mouth as you tried to catch ur breath, but things weren't over yet.

dazai wanted to know what ur mouth felt like, and weirdly, fyodor was ok with that. let him experience how good you suck dick and have to live knowing that fyodor is the only one who'll ever get to experience that. sat on fyodor's lap with your back to his chest now, his cock buried deep inside you as a reminder of who u rly belong to, dazai is sat on his knees next to you so you can suck him off. now he's the one whimpering and moaning as you take him into your mouth and skillfully use your lips and tongue to give him the best head of his life, and fyodor only smirks as he watches and feels u very slowly rising and falling on his own cock, subconsciously chasing the familiar feeling. and with a good massage of dazai's balls, he's cumming down your throat with a hearty groan -- he almost immediately gets hard again when he watches u swallow every single drop easily, licking ur lips afterwards with a smile.

in the end, fedya is right. dazai would forever be jealous that fyodor is the only one who ever got to have you. and that's how i think a threesome would go :)

[aly-writes]

hi! not sure if this makes the cut, seeing as your request inbox is almost full. but i'd like to request chishiya headcannons with cheerful/outgoing reader but they slowly become the opposite after losing their friends game after game. thank you and have an awesome day ahead! you deserve it!

y'all the new layout on desktop is killing me, wth is going on😭 i ended up adding d.p. and bloodhounds to my list of shows i'll be writing for, so check my rules to see which characters you can request (when requests open, please don't send them in right now or i'll get overwhelmed lol)

anyways here is some chishiya because we all adore him to the end of the earth and back. he's gorgeous i need him so badddd. i maybe got a little carried away :) this was really enjoyable to write

warnings: chishiya and s/o are in a pre-established relationship, angst w/ a happy ending, hurt/comfort, spoilers for s2 at the the end

chishiya with an s/o who loses their cheer

you were bright. so bright, in fact, that sometimes you blinded chishiya

chishiya knew you. your ups, your downs, your flaws, and your strengths. it would be strange if he didn't given the fact you were engaged before ending up in the borderlands

when you both ended up here, it didn't take him long to realize how big of a liability you were. not only to him, but yourself as well

did he trust you to complete games? yes, he did. you had a strong sense of determination and were 100% a survivor, so he had no doubts there

what he didn't trust was how you would react to other people in your games

being so friendly and optimistic gave you nothing but a disadvantage in this world, and he knew from the start that it would tear you apart

as much as he wanted to distance himself from you the moment you both arrived at the beach, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

he's a clever man who doesn't typically feel much remorse. he knew that if you hadn't been connected to him prior to the borderlands he would have ditched you instantly

but unfortunately for him, he lets his feelings get in the way because you were the one person who could truly make him feel

no matter how tough things were, you would give him a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the back. all the while encouraging him to 'cheer up, you look best when you're smiling'

you continued to shower him with love and affection while you were alone, just like you did in the real world. things were totally different now, but you didn't let that dampen your spirit

you and him were opposite ends of basically everything. you couldn't be more diverse, so it wasn't a shock at how familiar you got with everyone.

and when i say everyone, i mean everyone

you had worked in a social field beforehand, so you tended to be extremely good at memorizing names and facts about a person

it was one of the things that interested chishiya the most. while he encountered many different people per day and ultimately started to forget about them, you kept those you met near and dear no matter how powerful your experience with them

you were a people magnet. you basically radiated a friendly aura, and the other residents of the beach noticed quickly

you got along with mostly everyone (note: mostly. the militants were a different story...)

unfortunately for you, this meant that when you were put in groups for a game, you were bound to know at least one person in your group on a personal level

that is where your downfall began

chishiya knew it would happen at some point. when he saw you walk to your group's car chatting up a storm with one of the other members, he mentally prepared himself to take in your emotions when you came back.

and his speculations were confirmed correct, once again. your body was battered, bruised, and had definitely seen some better days during it's time. the way your eyes moved from one corner of the room to the next was sloppy and dull.

to be blunt? you looked like shit.

but he wouldn't say that, not once. although he had a certain fondness towards snide comments, he also had a fondness towards you. he was aware of what you needed in that moment, and the thing you needed most was him.

the way your gaze trekked through the crowd of people exuded a certain type of exhaustion that one can't explain. it was like you were exerting every ounce of your leftover spirit to find a specific person. and when your gaze finally found him, he could practically feel the tension that lifted off of your shoulders himself.

you moved toward him in such a despairing, yet hopeful way. the way your emotions screamed out to him so prominently was incredible. with just a small movement he already understood exactly what you were thinking and feeling.

when you reached him he gently took your elbow and guided you around to corner, if only to receive a small amount of privacy.

"'shiya..." your bottom lip quivered ever-so-slightly. the emotions swimming through the pools of your eyes were that which he couldn't comprehend. so complex, so telling but so complicated. seeing the exhaustion raking through your entire body, he wished he could understand.

he desired to find some type of mutual emotion in the lingering emptiness, but the small amount of hope in your eyes told him all he needed to know to understand that he was not able to. and he probably never would.

he couldn't give you the solace of knowing what you were going through, so the only thing he could do was bring you into arms.

and you cried. and you cried and you cried and you cried until you couldn't anymore because, for the first time in this damn world, you felt like you could lose everything you had built yourself upon. and it was terrifying.

as time progressed, chishiya noticed the brightness of your eyes leave bit by bit

he had tried to protect you from what he knew would happen, but you were stubborn about what you wanted and stuck in your ways

you thought that making friends would make everything more bearable, but you now realized how foolish you had been

the once starry partner he had known was not diminished to something of an empty shell of what had been

but even then, during quiet nights when the party of the beach had fallen silent and all that remained was you and him, you would tell him about your hopes for the future

you were still there, just nowhere as prominent as before

after the massacre that came from the ten of hearts, you didn't bother talking to anyone that wasn't him at all

the hope in your eyes had fizzled out completely

there were many problems chishiya knew how to fix. injuries? the easiest trick in the book. games? child's play to him.

but your lack of emotion was something he was frazzled on. he truly didn't know what to do, and if he was being completely honest with himself? he hated seeing you like this

you started to remind him too much of himself

empty eyes, lack of empathy for those around you. he felt like he was looking in a mirror and it kinda weirded him out

it wasn't until after he completed the king of diamonds that he decided to ask you about it. and not just make a comment, he wanted to have a genuine conversation with you

unfortunately he didn't get to do so when he wanted to because of niragi's trigger-happy finger

he was in pain and you were panicked and everything felt like too much for you

you were over him in a second with arisu and usagi, holding his face in your hands and crying

but you were crying and you were beautiful and that was enough for him, because FINALLY you were showing some sort of emotion

so when you sent arisu and usagi off to go take down the last two face cards, he felt... relieved

your face was so full of determination as you tried your best to tend to his wounds

he knew that the old you was in there somewhere, he should have expected it to come out in such a dire situation

as the day got darker and his heartbeat got fainter, you whispered out all your feelings and the waterworks would not give you a break

and all he could do was smile at you, which seemed so uncharacteristic but... you had both just been through hell and back, so you took whatever you could get

when the fireworks eventually shot off signaling the end of the game, he looked over at you one last time before making his decision. he couldn't be more delighted with what he saw

your eyes were filled with both love and hope, and things were back to where they should be

[momentsofamber]

so the other day my partner and I were talking about genetics ( science is his static SpIn ) and how the odds of their parents eyes in tcoaal would determine the kids' odds of having which color if their mother's green was a mutation ( based on how often their mom's shade changes between scenes, we decided it was like tcoaal hazel ) and if their father's pink was a dominant gene ( like brown irl ) and just looking at the odds data, it made me realize ... I kinda want to do multiple universes?

this is just some spitballing, but stay with me for a moment.

Role-Reversal: ( pink Andrew, green Ashley )

Andrew never outgrows the name Andy; his baby sister was the first person to call him that and that was that, that's his name forever.

Ashley goes by Lye as an adult; she went by Leyley as a child and Lye later became a nickname from it.

( rando: what's Lye short for? Lye: Leyley. rando: ... what? No, really. Lye: Reaaally ... Andy, nonchalantly: It's Ash-ley. Lye: -glaaare- Who cares what it used to be short for, it's just Lye now, okay? )

( Andy: 'Andy and Ashley' sounds so much better for a duo. You have to agree with me, right? Lye, flatly amused: ... You mean you don't like the sound of 'Andrew and Lye'? Andy, eyetwitch but pointedly ignoring that: So as I was saying -- )

These two will follow the canon story(ies) with everything as mirrored as it can be.

yandere twins: ( pink Andrew, pink Ashley )

not actually twins. but kind of.

they were born on the same day two years apart and share the same shade of pink eyes.

both have clinical bpd ( Andy w/ hpd traits, Leyley w/ aspd traits ) and thus suffer from and frequently demonstrate symptoms of obsessive and/or lovesick tendencies.

they've been sexually involved with each other since Andy hit puberty. of course Andy hits it first, being two years older, but they don't have intercourse until Leyley hits puberty too. Andy says their "real first time" 'won't be as special for Leyley if her body isn't ready for such a mature experience too'. it's torture for him to watch and wait for his sister to blossom, and Leyley repeatedly insists that 'no, she's ready NOW though!!' … but it does end up being well-worth the wait for both of them.

violence is flirting for these two.

'Do you know how badly I wanna kill you right now? Just so that I'll be the very last thing you'll ever see and feel.' is romantic.

they continue to use Andy and Leyley as names into adulthood no matter how often they get told it's childish or whatever.

kuudere twins: ( green Andrew, green Ashley )

same premise as above but the not-twins share green eyes. ( however, there is a high chance I will give them different shades due to their mother's eye color being a mutation. )

Andrew goes by Drew as an adult because he says Andy is 'too childish' now.

Ashley legally changes her name to Lillian as an adult so that she can go by Lily for short because it's close to Leyley and 'she doesn't feel like an Ashley and she never did'.

both Drew and Lily respect each other's name preferences and only use Andy and Leyley to refer to themselves or each other in the past.

their mother continues to call Lily 'Ashley' out of spite to the day that she dies because 'I named you, so that's what I'm calling you'.

these two are better at communicating their attachment and feelings for each other through things like physical touch and acts of service.

they both definitely have alexithymia.

they often don't quite know how to say things with words so they try to show things instead. ( sometimes they jokingly call their ability to communicate without words a twin bond. )

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting

[urfavnegronerd]

a little rant while im on break at my job

okay i know we're supposed to like ghostflower ships but i... i have some thoughts.

i see the love and lust between those two in into the spiderverse, miles is so giggly around gwen and gwen is slightly less unhinged (you ALL know what im getting at, love her but our good sis gwen is.... *hand motion*) etc. allat good stuff.

but i can't see that happening especially w the events of atsv, like there's definitely room for patching up the relationship but anything romantic between the two would feel forced as fuck i feel like. and maybe that's just me being an intensely passionate empath who likes to act like a nonchalant lil asshole, but still. i LOVE gwen, sony set her up beautifully for an amazing character arc that i'm so excited to see in the next one. HOWEVER, also this could just be me being an annoying little afro latina shit, she's not coming back from opening the collectible, going through miles' sketchbook w/o permission, and the shoes on the bed. that doesn't mean i HATE her i just can't look at her the same.

now a bitch is biased because black love is forever 🔛🔝, but also in the comics and video game miles has a black love interest. there was definitely also THE connection w/ miles and margo (however i'm also kinda in favor of prowlerbyte anyway--), and lil old me in the theatre was loosing it. i think that staying true to the aspect of black love interests is also going to be so important for the community, both comic/video game fans and black fans alike, mainly because of how black men interact with black women. speaking from experience i can't even count how many times i wanted to be the short lil white girl with blue eyes and blonde hair instead of the tall and awkward black girl with the wide nose and corkscrew curls. now here's where i think my personal bias kind of skews my opinion on this, but this franchise has been so important to SO many people. again speaking from experience, when i saw miles in atsv with the EXACT same hair texture as me i almost cried because no one in the history of ever has animated my kind of hair right and miles' hair was right. on top of this i saw so many little black boys practically tripping and falling in anticipation to see this movie in theatres. so i think i favor miles having a relationship with a black girl because this will reach such a new audience and possibly open doors for black men and boys to start treating black somebody and girls with respect. because if these little boys in the theatre see their like, idol for lack of a better word, treating black women and girls with respect i think then there's gonna be an aspect of healing within that.

i'm not really sure how well i'm communicating this, but i don't really think i can fully get behind the ghostflower ship. to me it feels really fucking forced in a way that kinda icks me out, however this is not to say i won't absolutely love the shit out of these two if it happens. in a way, this franchise feels like something the black community needs in several ways. like yeah this shit is pro black but FULLY pro black, not pro-black but anti gay, trans, or whatever the fuck. it shows blackness in a new way, artsy and nerdy but also really fucking cool at the same time and i never fucking got that as a little kid. like i kid you not the other black kids in school would call me a wanna be white girl. and to see someone with similar interests as me just sort of opens the world up??? like i visited my older sister at school in the dmv while wearing a spiderverse hoodie, and people actually wanted to talk to me about it!!! like not ina "oh i like ur sweatshirt ma" type thing like a "omg you like this movie too??" type thing and i just--

yeah i def strayed from the topic, but i hope our baby does get his lil black girl (or his lil gwen, from a big sisters perspective i don't hate her as a prospective partner i just think that there would need to be a clear breakdown in the difference of cultures. for example i was taught that anytime you meet anyone formally (like a parent or something) you shake their hand and or go in for a hug and kiss BOTH cheeks and talk about their home their clothes or whatever) but for like the sake of authenticity (sorry to be that asshole but come ON) but like.... flowerbyte 🥰🥰

did this make sense i feel like i word vomited like a bitch, idk maybe i'm projecting my personal shit into a franchise i really like

[grapenehifics]

I have the house to myself this weekend which means I get to have musicals on in the background (I am the only one in my family who appreciates this art form) and this morning I've had The Sound of Music running and...I'm having thoughts. Fascism thoughts.

Anakin is nearing the age (early 20s) when he should be taking the Trials and he *says* he's sure he wants to continue on the Jedi path (his mom sure always really wanted him to! He doesn't want to disappoint his Master!) but he's always been a little unorthodox, a little different, and Yoda and Mace and the Council and even Qui-Gon try to (gently) tell him that it's okay if he wants to or needs to take a different path and this life isn't for everyone and there's no shame in it; there's lots of ways to serve the light.

Obi-Wan meanwhile (Force sensitive but his parents said no thank you when the Order came calling when he was a kid?) is fairly recently widowed with seven (or maybe not seven, but some number of) children who he doesn't see all that much because he's...not *the* leader of Stewjon but definitely a higher-up in their government (maybe like a House of Lords/ruling council sort of situation?). And he - like the Republic - sees the writing on the wall about the encroaching threat of the Empire and the members of the Republic who are against this idea (Padmé, Bail, etc) are very interested in keeping Obi-Wan on their side - he's maybe trying to convince the rest of his government to join the Republic? and if they do have to go to war Obi-Wan is one of the few with actual military experience (I'm picturing some sort of Admiral Yularen/Republic Navy-ish) - so when Obi-Wan asks the Order to send a Jedi as a governess for his kids (some - or all? - of them are Force sensitive too, but Obi-Wan and his wife kept them home as kids rather than sending them to Coruscant), even though the answer would *usually* be no (you can't have it both ways Obi-Wan; there are no part-time Jedi) the Republic basically begs the Jedi Council to say yes.

They (reluctantly) agree that sending Anakin to Stewjon might be okay - they wouldn't send anyone else but he's on the fence anyway and this might give him some time to decide if he really wants to be a Jedi or if a home and a family might suit him better. Anakin has to be talked into it - "you're kicking me out??" "NO, Padawan Skywalker..." - but he goes. Of course he actually bonds really well with all the kids (I love Anakin with kids!) and his new boss is surprisingly hot, especially in his Stewjoni military uniform.

Obi-Wan got (quite quickly, after his wife died) engaged to the Duchess Satine of Mandalore, which both parties (and everyone in their respective governments) know is a political marriage but they do also genuinely like and respect each other, and enjoy debating politics with each other - if war breaks out, Satine is determined Mandalore will remain neutral, and Obi-Wan argues against, and that it's their moral obligation to fight - but whatever happens, Mandalore wants Stewjon on their side and vice versa. She's busy running her own system but comes for a visit, and meets Anakin, and picks up right away on the rampant UST between Obi-Wan and his new nanny. (She finds this hilarious.)

Obi-Wan throws a Mandalore/Stewjon unification-type ball at his house (mansion, palace, w/e) and Anakin has the kids show off the more impressive of the Force "tricks" he's taught them (floating rocks, etc). The kids tell Anakin that their dad can move things with the Force, too, and he used to all the time, but doesn't anymore. Anakin is intrigued by this new knowledge.

They get word from Coruscant that Palpatine did as threatened and has staged a coup (?? haven't really worked out the finer details yet) and despite Obi-Wan's best efforts Stewjon as a collective whole looks like it's going to fall on the side of the Empire. He's not the only one determined to fight but he's definitely the most vocal/highest-ranking of the dissenters and Satine warns him that he at least needs to get his family out of harm's way, and if he can get them to Mandalore she can protect them and they can join the Rebellion from there. (Form the Rebellion? This part is still a little muddy).

(Obi-Wan checks that this offer still stands even though he's breaking up with her. She's like a) I called that and b) "oh my god Obi-Wan I'm a pacifist not a monster. I'm not going to let your family *die* just because you're marrying Anakin instead of me, what do you take me for?")

Their escape plan - like in the movie - is to perform in some sort of National Stewjon Talent Show, except swap the Force for a cappella singing. The Jedi - let's say Palpatine hasn't gotten around to Order 66 in this AU - attend this Talent Show, and *obviously* it's a cover for getting Anakin and the Kenobis out (they have to have the same conversation - "you mean you'll still help me even if I'm getting married instead of becoming a Jedi Knight?" "yeah, we're not dicks, it's the right thing to do") but no one can actually call the Jedi out on it even though while they're blinking their eyes all innocently they totally have bolt cutters and stun guns hidden under their robes.

Also there's a subplot where Obi-Wan's oldest breaks up with her boyfriend because "I DON'T DATE STORMTROOPERS."

(Someday I will be able to watch a movie without having Obikin thoughts about it. But it is not this day!)

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you possibly write hcs for dates Johnathon and the reader would go on before the collider incident? I hc him as a giant sci fi geek so I can just imagine going to comic con in matching cosplays or sm :]

Going on dates w/ Jonathon!

Hello hello! so ! im going to be writing a lot of the remaining spot asks on my computer so i'll be more focused and since im a faster typer with a physical keyboard! so if you see my typing style change, this is why! typos may be more noticeable, unfortunately :( also it lets me blare music right in my ears while i type cuz spotify is mean on my phone anyways!! ueueueu this idea sounds so cute :3

honestly youre so right about him taking you to cons and such; you guys do matching couples cosplays from varies different medias you both like

movies, shows, games; its all up for grabs

though he wont force you to dress up in cosplay if you dont want to! he wants you to be comfortable! and not all cosplays are.... comfortable

while not totally sci fi, and obligatory admin doesnt know much about it; but from what admin does know, i feel like hed be into DND

both as a normal player or as a DM; you guys probably join a campaign together

anyways

not all dates have to be outside and doing something; sometimes you guys hole yourselves up at home and watch a few movies

another note admin doesnt touch sci fi all the much so their experience in the genre isnt very... much

he seems like the type to be a fan of the alien franchise, or at least the original

ponders

just the two of you cuddled up on the couch with blankets and loads of snacks and pillows

very nice and cozy

totally doesnt try to casually lay his arm around you

again, i see jon as a cliché, he does all the stereotypical romantic stuff even if it makes him look like a dork

i mean hes a dork when it comes to you, but

yeah

moving on

this dude will literally consider you two cooking dinner together a date

especially if you guys dont live together yet

oh? you need help cutting something up?

(not so) casually puts his hands on yours to help you out; assuming your hands are smaller than his they get completely engulfed

if not, hes still gonna try to guide you

thinks

whenever he has the money and wants to splurge on you he takes you to some fancy restaurant

NO CUZ

i just got done watching the original Spiderman trilogy for the first time yesterday and this dude

would pull the same proposal idea as peter

fancy high end restaurant. ring in the champagne glass, having the band play a specific song, ect ect ect

AGAIN

dude is cheesy

so

yeah

i kinda got off topic there but thats more or less my date hcs!! i dont really right date stuff often so this was a fun little thing

[strigeist]

My last ask!! Camilo with a s/o who has anger/anxiety issues/ headcanons please!! :D have a good day and newyears!

~ I'm so so sorry for taking so long on this one! I've been a bit busy in my personal life. After doing some thinking I decided to only do the anxiety one, so I'm sorry about that too. It's just that even though I did quite a bit of research, I still didn't feel confident in what I was writing since I have no personal experience w/ anger issues, and considering it's something that can be harmful if portrayed wrong I think it's best if I just stick to what I know :(. I'm sorry! But I hope you understand. ALSO YES THANK YOU GOOD NEW YEAR FOR YOU TOO!! And day!! ~

Camilo with a s/o who has anxiety

Gender neutral s/o!

I know anxiety can present differently in different people, I'm referencing mostly me and the people I know.

⚠️ Mentions of panic/anxiety attacks. It's right at the end and separated from the rest with [], so if it triggers you you can just stop once you see that! ⚠️

Will never, ever, judge you for showing symptoms of anxiety. Will not make you feel bad for it or make snarky comments about it, even if you don't outright say that you have it.

Won't force you into anything you don't wanna do, but especially not if it's something that would trigger your anxiety.

If it's something you absolutely need to do (because life is like that sometimes), he'll try to help you go through it as much as he can.

(If you allow his family to know, they'll help you too in their own ways).

If you're together and someone approaches you to talk and it's making you anxious, he'll absolutely carry the conversation for the two of you and somehow manage to get you away from the situation in a very natural way so you don't have to worry about seeming rude or anything.

If you're ever too "in your head" about something that probably doesn't warrant so much worry, like something embarrassing you've done in the past, he'll try to make you see things the way he does. Never in a mean way or disregarding your feelings! Just to calm you down. Sometimes our brains blow things way out of proportion.

Will let you fiddle with his clothes, his hands, hell even his hair if it makes you more relaxed.

(As someone with curly hair, him letting you touch his hair is a proof of pure love).

This is all if you want it, of course. As I've said in the past, Camilo would never want to make you uncomfortable. If you don't want him to do something, just tell him and he'll stop and apologize. He'll find other ways to support you that don't bother you! Or you can just tell him, that works too.

[]

[]

[]

Listen, he's good at helping you through panic or anxiety attacks.

(I know they are different things, but mainly for the reasons they happen. They are quite similar in what they feel like, at least for me).

You cannot tell me no one in the Madrigal family goes through things like this. He has experience.

"Breath with me, cariño, let's try that okay?"

If following his breathing doesn't work, he'll try the counting method, you know? The one where the person counts numbers slowly and you follow their lead. (I don't know if that's the name, but that's what I call it).

Every time it happens he panics on the inside, but tries not to show it so you don't feel even worse. He knows you'll be fine but he doesn't like to see you hurting in any way.

Will also reassure you that you'll be fine, it's just a panic or anxiety attack and soon you'll be fine, and that he'll be there for you the entire time.

If you want to hold his hand because it's scary, he'll let you.

If you need space, he'll give it to you. But if you want a hug he'll also oblige.

Afterwards will try to convince you to do some more relaxing activities, if you weren't doing that before, so you can rest and recover.

[mandy4ever69420]

elaborate on your last post?

i've actually been marinating on this more or less nonstop! like how to phrase it and stuff. i have, like, notes.

& part of this is i had some spoilers as to who mickey WAS before i watched the show because he was what was dangled in front of my face like a pie in a window to get me to watch shameless. but the thing about mickey is like every thing you learn about him CAN absolutely be traced to his behavior in s1. mickey's one of the most consistently and unrelentingly himself characters in the show (the other is debbie). everyone else has like personality crises.

you can fit a shitload of development into someone like mickey being aggressively himself the whole time because he has every reason to be afraid of the consequences of his personality w/out actually being insecure or not knowing himself. so we as the viewer get to know him w/out any of the information being startling in any way from the jumpoff of s1. it's insane that i'm pretty sure he was meant to only exist in season one i just know he'd be haunting some psyches.

he like never apologizes for his personality. which is i think easy to attribute to "confidence" as a sort of nebulous concept but i think he's just kind of a realist. everything he hides has a very straightforward reason behind it and when the reason disappears so does his hesitance to just be that. & i think a lot of what reads as confidence comes from disinterest in other people's opinions & a pretty intense pragmatism and get-shit-done-ism. mickey kind of sorts people into "who gives a fuck" or "useful" & eventually he expands his "people who matter" category enough that even people he doesnt gaf about in the main cast he at least doesn't want to piss them off.

another thing about this is i've seen sometimes people who over-relate (very understandably) to mickey sort of take very seriously how much he must've been hurt in end of s5, end of s7. which is. i mean i will be honest i KNEW it was coming and watching love songs in the key of gallagher RUINED MY WEEK. which is a good thing. because i am out of my mind. but i think sticking on "well, ian should've been more sorry, or said something nicer later" out of feeling bad for mickey misses a little the point where what i really see in mickey is a "it hurt. obviously. extremely badly. fucking anyway" sort of angle.

this ^ isn't something i know how to explain very well. there's kind of a difference between going "well that was horrifying and i need to throw the fuck up" and moving on, and the sort of therapy-speak adjacent urge to linger over how everyone should be looking at their feelings about it. not mickey's language IMO. so mickey's pretty in tune with what's going on in ian's head so when ian hurts his feelings on purpose he's like mad that it worked, you stupid jackass. and then ian's guilt is sitting right there and he's like well you were so mean but it's more important to me that i can be around you than that my feewings are made much of. mickey's pretty steadily uncomfortable with touchy-feely validation or anything. this interpretation is also a me thing. obviously everyone's reads are going to be informed by their life experience but this is what makes sense to me.

1 of the biggest things i've noticed rewatching is how FAST plotlines start moving when mickey decides he's getting something done. which is interesting because he's also one of the least ambitious characters in the show.

mandy and ian both really believe they can get something nicer and safer and better (&fancier) out of life. mandy has the strongest drive out of them to grab something nice for herself (like.. even vicariously through lip, she's always trying) mickey is kind of right that it's not realistic for everyone to get something better than where they grew up. it's depressing as fuck to be resigned to but especially with a criminal record it's pretty predictable under capitalism that you would just get stuck. these things happen to people

it's very sweet to me that ian keeps dragging mickey along to like nice places and optimism while mickey is like be so for fucking real. weird enough this is the most mickey has in common with lip - the "steal it or scam it" observation that lip makes, but mickey is chill with breaking more serious laws and being arrested for it. & lip also doesn't go for ambition the same way other people in the show do because he has noticed these patterns. he aims for a nebulous "more" jump up in the class system ONCE specifically because of mandy.

fiona is the opposite to all this ^ naturally. in the way that her ambition keeps coming back to bite her way harder than anyone else, because she gets caught up in her ideas of how to expand and do better and bigger really fast. funny enough both lip's "well it has to be a scam and you can't ever actually get anywhere" and fiona's "i bet if i just played my cards right i could make a million bucks rn" philosophies are frank traits.

BUT ANYWAY i also really like how mickey's pragmatism sort of lands him to being a very romantic person. because once he has reason to care more about someone else he decides to put all his eggs in that fucking basket. contrast -> ian is A Romantic. he wants to believe in like a soulmate and he pretty obsessively pursues validation through means of romance. m/while mickey never plans to be in a relationship and commits really hard when he decides that that's where he's going.

which comes to mickey's impressive skills at reading people. when he's not just completely disinterested, he can predict people really well. which is obviously like a survival technique but is also the only explanation of why he'd come back twice after getting written out. maybe it wasn't supposed to be the way his character played out but it can be traced back to s1 with the information we have and is the only way that his actions make sense.

& in like. the completely fucking insane way that mickey is as gentle as he is. you even see the intent here in his introduction. sure, he's showing up in a violent way to enact revenge. which being into prison abolition i don't necessarily agree with. but it's sweet! like, i know the revenge mob is kind of a THING but with everything that he does following it also seems very personal. so he shows up and the first thing he really wants is someone to look after. ian gallagher you may not believe you need a fucking caretaker but you literally snatched up the single person most desperate for someone to take care of

-> wrt gentleness also: i cant get over how fucking bonkers it is to be a violent teenager having a Massive mental breakdown and that mickey refuses to start the physical side of the "you love me and you're gay" confrontation. not a hand until ian shoves him multiple times. even though ian showed up explicitly as an attempt at using mickey to punish himself for something he really thought was his fault! what the fuck!!

um but anyway with mickey's fucking anger going on also i was personally very touched by him as a fantastic way to represent irritability and anger as an anxiety response. because anger is really fucking like that. again, visible from his intro to the end. ya habibi...

[sheyfu]

Hello, please check out this tumblr post right here

https://www.tumblr.com/caiimeal/758903075186622464/ai-user-vmlnrz?source=share

to spread awareness. This blue lock 'writer' (@/vmlnrz) uses artificial intelligence (AI) to write their work. Proof included.Reblogs are appreciated.

hi nonnieeeeee thank you so much for sending me thissss <3

i just checked the post and it's quite saddening to hear this T__T there are a lot of authors who pour their hearts and hours to create and post on this platform and seeing someone use AI to make a story instead of writing one themself actually makes me a little, you know, demotivated WUSHHAHAHA

i mean hear me out, using AI to create something isn't necessarily bad. however, if you use it (as in use it and then claim it as your own) (i literally also cannot tolerate the use of AI AHSHHAAH), then that's a very different story. i don't want to sound like a know it all or a show-off (or pabibo in tagalog bc i literally don't know the right term for this in english 😭😭) but whenever i have a lecture in communication (OVERHSARING TIME WUAHAHHAH) my prof always says to this to us. moreover, she's not someone who's strict about using AI engines like ChatGPT (she actually encourages us to do so), however, please see her explanation as to why she allows us to use AI in our projects!!

in her words (not exact, but the gist of it is here IWHAHJA [she makes sure to tell us before every meeting so it's practically engraved into my mind rn WUHAHAJAJ)

'i don't mind you using ChatGPT to write your papers, but you should know how to use it responsibly. by responsibly, i mean use it as a guide to helping you, not the other way around [the engine helping you instead]. you have the power to control the engine, but of course, don't let it control you. if you're having trouble writing or starting or concluding your paper, you can use ChatGPT to help you with that. but remember, the use of ChatGPT is to help you branch out your ideas, not create your ideas.'

of course, im not saying that the author using an engine was very wrong (i mean, to some degree, it definitely is wrong hahaha), however, i just hope that they know writing is crafted by your imagination. and if that imagination is encapsulated by AI, then what's the point of making stories? yes, writing is hard, it definitely is. but that doesn't give you a reason to just fuck it and ball WHAHHAAHHAHA writing is a lokg process. throughout your journey as a writer, you'll experience a lot of things (my whole life is an e2l 55k fanfic ao3 tumblr wattpad fanfic.com oneshot with writer's block atp), and you may also discover your own unique writing style!

i'll admit that at first, i did use AI and took inspo from other authors, but i didn't use AI/inspo just to post. i used AI to gather ideas, expand my vocabulary, and expose myself to fiction writing. and with those inspos/sample stories, i was able to find my own writing style that helped me in my success (AM I SUCCESSFUL?×?@(@(@ WHAHAHAH)

with a big platform like tumblr, this message could rub off in the wrong way to some people. so, if you don't agree, please consider clicking off. i don't need people to criticize my opinions, only my works, please WHAJHAAHAHHA. on the other hand, though, if you want to share any of your opinions, then feel free to drop by my inbox/comment here :))

im really not the best person to approach when it comes to these stuff (my thoughts are so messy and im literally clueless as to whats happening rn HWJSHSJAH), but i hope that this message could at least inspire the author to create a work of their own. plus, if they have trouble writing, they could always ask for help from others!! (you can ask me, but idk if i'll be able to give good advice in writing actuall written works LMAOAOAKAOO [im much more comfy w chat aus WHEHEHEHEH])

so to end, i hope that this author could figure out everything they need to figure out. i encourage you to post anything and everything you like. don't think about if people would like it or not. writing is an experimental journey. you'll experience a lot of ups and downs (ahem, writer's block and burning out, ahem), but if you take your time in crafting your very own pieces, i'm sure you'll be able to create things that are solely unique to you, and reflect pieces of you and your passion in writing :))

good luck, author! i wish you all the best in your writing journey! if you need help, i'm sure there are lots of people who are willing to do so :)