#i mean you can rb if you want i just don’t know why you would

[maxlarens]

ok so i had an idea for the rb photographer fic if you're up for it

first of all im like in love w ur fics i love em all

and nextly, listen to this..

charles isn't single but manwhore carlos probably is?

he flirts w our photographer and makes max jealous?? roped in by danny ofc to get them together?? what do you think??

anyway have a great day! <33333

UM OKAY THANK YOU! max x rbphotographer!reader are literally everything to me and i am SOO thrilled to have gotten this request. very in character for daniel to get everyone involved in scheming even tho max has told him not to😭 love it so much😇😇 hope u enjoy and i am SOOOO sorry this took so long xx

MV: tonight (i wish i was your boy)

pairing(s): max verstappen x redbull photographer!reader

word count: 1.9k+

Max likes to think he’s not a jealous person.

Max likes to think that— but it doesn’t mean it’s true. Daniel would and has, argued that Max is an abnormally jealous person. In the sense that Max doesn’t like to share. Doesn’t like other people playing with his toys. Not that he thinks of you (or Daniel) as his toy— that’s absurd. He’s a jealous person, not some territorial asshole with an anger problem. (Okay, sometimes he has an anger problem. He’s been working on it. It hardly crops up anymore, but he’s not territorial).

He is, again, bad at sharing, and also uniquely used to getting what he wants.

It’s not because he’s got a crush on you. Despite what Daniel would like to assume. It’s just that you’re meant to be his friend. You’re here with him, because of him. He’s meant to be able to hover around you all night, getting carried away as he tries to explain something meaningless while you give him that half-grin that you don’t even realise you’re doing most of the time. He’s the one who’s supposed to be putting his hand on your back, and leaning in to ask if you’d like another drink—

Not Carlos.

Definitely not Carlos.

(Well, at least it’s not Charles).

Instead, Max is standing next to an overeager Lando at the DJ deck, gripping his drink so hard that he’s mildly concerned the glass will shatter to pieces in his hand. Actually, that’s not such a bad idea to get your attention. Maybe if that happens you’ll stop looking at Carlos Sainz Jr with big googly eyes and you’ll come nurse his hand or whatever it is you’re supposed to do in pathetic little fantasies like the one he’s entertaining. You’re not really the nursing type though, you’re more prone to start freaking out and calling everyone on the Red Bull team to tell them that Max has irreparably damaged his hand.

Max stops entertaining that particular fantasy.

Daniel’s not here, he’s gone home to Australia for a few weeks and skipped out on this weird little grid (+ friends) party that Charles is throwing. This is good and this is bad for Max. On one hand Daniel is not here to rib him about his half-admitted crush on you, on the other hand Daniel is not here to distract him from his half-admitted crush on you. There’s Lando of course, who can be just as good in the distraction department, but it’s not quite the same. 

Lando doesn’t quite know about the raging crush, which is probably for the better. He’s been around when Lando’s tried to set up Oscar before and that was an absolute unmitigated disaster.

“Hey man,” speaking of Oscar, “You good?”

Max frowns and then half turns to look at Oscar who’s now hovering next to Lando with a fruity little drink in hand, “Yeah mate,” he answers, confused.

Oscar gets this weird little micro expression on his face that Max wouldn’t usually take any note of— his forehead creases, he raises a disbelieving eyebrow— but the skepticism grates at Max a little, leaves him wondering.

“Why?”, he caves.

Oscar shakes his head, shrugs, “You're kind of staring down Carlos."

Max's mouth falls open, just a little. He is not. His eyes flit to Lando unconsciously for confirmation before he has a chance to defend himself against what are frankly untrue allegations from Oscar. But Lando is already shrugging, making a face that says he has been.

Fuck. Max frowns. And doesn't say anything.

Better to stay quiet and look moody than to admit anything to these two. Total menaces. Well, no that's Lando. Oscar might be helpful. Still, Max isn't going to admit anything. Daniel and apparently Charles knowing about it is more than enough.

Their hushed conversation behind him fades into the background as Max turns again to look at you and Carlos— and alright he gets it now. There's definitely a different kind of set to his jaw, a scowl on his lips as he watches Carlos put his hand on your shoulder.

There is something in his gut. Something sick. The feeling he gets when he's on track and the car starts sliding, the wheels locking up. When hears the va-rum of a car go by, sees something that isn't wide open space in front of him. Something like panic starts to climb up his throat. He knows he shouldn't be this bothered by you and another person, but he can't get rid of this voice in the back of his head that says you might like Carlos more than him. That you might stop hanging around Max, texting him at all hours of the day with photos of your food or random questions, waiting for him in the garage after sessions and not just because you've got to take pictures of him, and going out for food on 'friend dates' as you've taken to calling them.

If you and Carlos... okay no, Max doesn't even want to think about it.

He starts walking over, trying to smooth his face into something less intimidating as he goes. He turns it into a strained, mouth-closed smile that doesn't reach his eyes. He directs it at Carlos.

There's a glint in Carlos' eyes that Max doesn't like the look of.

"Hi Max," he says, flashing his white teeth, he gestures to you, "I was just getting to know your lovely friend here."

Alright. Max understands instantly. This has Daniel's name written all fucking over it. Max's fake smile falls, turning into a flat look that he levels at Carlos. He's trying not to scowl because he doesn't want you to catch on to anything, but it's not easy. His phone is burning a hole in his pocket, he doesn't care if it's the middle of the night in Australia right now, he's itching to call Danny and ask him what the fuck he is thinking pulling something like this from 14,000 kilometers away?

"Mm," Max hums, unimpressed, unable to fake pleasantries even for your sake, "Great."

You look at him, eyebrows raised a little incredulously at his tone. There's slight amusement there too, he thinks, as he returns your look. You squint a little, as if to say, don't give me that look, Max Verstappen. He can feel himself smiling, the corner of his mouth lifting with ease even though the object of his anger still has his stupid hand on your shoulder.

He can't help himself when he reaches for your elbow, asks, "D'you wanna get a drink?"

You bite down on the edge of your smile, "Sure, Maxie."

You turn and say something to Carlos that he doesn't listen to. Partly because he doesn't care, partly because the sound of you saying Maxie is playing on a loop in his head, like it always does whenever you use the nickname. Which is more often than not. God, he loves it. Maxie Maxie Maxie. It sounds so syrupy sweet coming from your mouth. Smothered in affection. You're the only person, bar his mum and sister that he lets use it. Daniel sometimes, but Daniel would say it regardless, the menace that he is.

"Max," you say, hand on his bicep, thumb smoothing back and forth there, "Where'd you go?"

Max blinks. Carlos is gone now.

"Hm, no, nowhere," you frown, so he says, "Just a bit tired."

This seems to satisfy you. You slip an arm into the crook of his, linking them together as you tug him to the bar. You order him a G&T and yourself a glass of wine before the two of you head out onto the balcony where it's far quieter. Less people, less chatter. Max prefers it like this, with no one there to get in the way of your attention on him, his on you. He thinks you prefer it too.

He hopes you do at least.

You sip your wine, Max’s eyes linger on the line of your neck, the way your fingers curl around the glass, how your eyes glitter in the early afternoon sun.

“What was that earlier?”, you gesture inside, raising your eyebrows again, “With Carlos?”

Max laughs nervously without meaning to, “Uh, what do you mean?”

The ‘something sick’ is back in his gut again. He hopes you buy his nonchalance, but doesn’t feel confident you will. You know him too well. That’s his fault.

You sigh, “I mean the dick measuring contest, Maxie.”

Maxie. Maxie.

Then he finally registers your words around the loop of your voice in his head, he guffaws, almost choking on his drink, “The dick measuring contest!?”

“Yes,” you hiss, leaning forward on your stool, “Yes, Max. I’m not an idiot, you were getting territorial.”

Max blinks. Max feels red creeping up his neck. Max feels butterflies and maybe a chainsaw in his stomach.

“Wha—”, he tries again, “I—”

His mouth doesn’t appear to be working. Maybe because he’s not sure what on earth he’s supposed to say. What do you even mean? Are you trying to say that you know he was jealous of Carlos? That you know he has feelings for you? Or are you just referencing the fact that he’s weirdly territorial of his friends sometimes? What is he supposed to say in response to any of it? He can’t figure it out for the life of him.

Then you’re blushing you’re blushing and you’re saying, “You don’t have to worry, Max. You’re my favourite person here.”

Okay, alright, what the fuck does that mean? God. Max hates this. If you were any other girl he’d have asked you out literally years ago. But because you’re you and you’re his best friend besides Daniel, he can’t ask you out. He has to smother his feelings into something platonic because he cannot bear the idea of losing you.

Despite his better judgment telling him not to, Max asks, “Really?”

You hum, “Really, really.”

It happens in slow motion, it must. Or at least that’s how Max replays it in his head every night before he goes to sleep. You reach forward and put your hand over his, fingers on his wrist, thumb drawing a pattern on his upturned palm.

Then you say, in a way that he can’t figure out for the life of him, “Love you, Maxie.”

Chills run down the length of his spine, that chainsaw starts up again in his stomach. Love you, Maxie. He feels sick— like he might word vomit the entirety of his feelings for you right there and then. Instead, he forces himself to smile. Closed-mouth, eyes crinkled.

“Mm, yeah, love you,” he says back, his voice cracking as he tries to make it sound normal and platonic and not wracked with nerves.

You smile, warm, beaming and showing your teeth, like he’s made your day infinitely better by just saying those words. As if you’ve not just made his stomach churn and his heart take leaps and bounds in his chest. As if he’s not going to think about the way you’d said it every second of every day. As if he won’t dream of you saying it in every other context imaginable.

You pat his hand twice, then pull it back to take hold of your drink again. Smiling as if you’ve not ruined him for anyone else for good.

[cutielando]

Hi!! I just found your account and love it! I was wondering if I could request either a Charles or Max imagine where the reader is a well known voice actor?

my joy | m.v.

synopsis: in which you score a big role

my masterlist

liked by maxverstappen1, carmenmmundt and 728,463 others

yourusername back to work✨

view all 29,184 comments

user1 YESSSSS

user2 WE'RE GETTING Y/N DOUBLING AGAIN AHH

carmenmmundt can’t wait!!!!❤️❤️

yourusername love you!!❤️

maxverstappen1 💙

yourusername 💙

user3 max subtly commenting 😭😭

yoursister can't wait to see it <3

yourusername <3

user4 WHAT DO YOU KNOW?????

yoursister i know nothing

user5 our favorite voice actor for real

landonorris ugh, do i have to listen to your annoying voice again?

yourusername i have to put up with your annoying presence every week, but you don't see me complain

landonorris that was unnecessarily mean...

maxverstappen1 you were asking for it

zendaya the queen is back to work 🫶🏻🫶🏻

yourusername you're too sweet, z <33

charles_leclerc you promised you would call me with another role... :(

yourusername i'm sorry char, they gave it to carlossainz55 :(((

charles_leclerc TRAITOR

carlossainz55 i'm just better

redbullracing Our favorite actress, back in action!💙

yourusername you flatter me, admin <3

danielricciardo they're biased, that's why

redbullracing doesn't change the facts

alex_albon again?

yourusername always :)

user6 i love how Y/N is just friends with every driver lol

user7 Max won in life fr

user8 your honor, i love her 😍

liked by maxverstappen1, f1 and 102,538 others

disneystudios & yourusername We are proud to announce that Y/N Y/L/N has joined the cast of Inside Out as the voice of Joy!

view all 19,157 comments

yourusername i'm so happy and grateful for this opportunity!!!🩵

maxverstappen1 insanely proud of you <3

yourusername staaaaawp ily <3

maxverstappen1 ily <3

alexandrasaintmleux omg so proud of youuuuu <333

yourusername ilyyyyy <3

user1 OMG NO WAYYYYY

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user3 THE QUEEN IS BACK YAYYYYYY💙💙

landonorris how can you play something so fun when you're so not fun?

yourusername same way you can drive fast cars when you're a menace on the roads?

landonorris why do you always bully me? :(

yourusername you started it

maxverstappen1 stop arguing with her

yourusername what he said!!!

redbullracing Our joy!!💙💙

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user4 why does rb admin love y/n more than we do?

redbullracing it's just the y/n effect

carmenmmundt CONGRATS!!!! <3

yourusername thank you honey!!! 💙🫶🏻

francisca.cgomes MY BABE DID IT!!!!!!💙💙

yourusername ILYYYY❤️

flavy.barla SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

yourusername thanksiessssss <3

pierregasly why is Y/N stealing our girlfriends?

yourusername because i'm so much better than you guys

alexandrasaintmleux true

carmenmmundt can't argue with that

francisca.cgomes don't be jealous boys

flavy.barla it's nothing personal

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 4,194,385 others

maxverstappen1 Amazed by what you do every single day. I'm proud of everything you are, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life and journey <3 tagged: yourusername

view all 391,463 comments

yourusername you're going to make me cry :(((((

yourusername why are you so sweet

yourusername i love you so much💙💙💙

maxverstappen1 i love you 1000 times more💙

francisca.cgomes SOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL BABY

yourusername THANK YOU BABE💙

maxverstappen1 stop flirting in the comments

francisca.cgomes you can't come between our love

yourusername you will never be able to keep us apart

landonorris we get it, you love your gf

maxverstappen1 don’t be jealous

yourusername don’t worry, lando, you will find your own some time :))

user1 WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE😭😭

redbullracing 💙💙💙

yourbestfriend you make me want to gouge my eyes out

yourusername awwww, so sweet

maxverstappen1 we often have that effect on people

charles_leclerc i can confirm

alex_albon same

carlossainz55 true

yourusername OKAY WE GET IT

comments and re-blogs help us grow!

much appreciated!!

REQUEST HERE

[soobnny]

classmate au | kim sunoo

❝ no one is allowed to borrow my art materials except for (name) ❞

heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | SUNOO | jungwon | ni-ki

kim sunoo

sweet, sunshine, best friend kim sunoo

it was kind of SO obvious he wanted to be friends

like he wants to be close to you soooo bad and maybe it’s bc he saw u playfully bullying riki

it was love at first sight and an instant best friendship the moment you finally met

your seats were assigned so u were sat next to each other

THANK GOD U WERE

you two are basically inseparable now

sunoo strikes me as the type to just walk into the classroom and walk straight towards where you’re seated

at school events, he’d leave his backpack on the seat next to him to reserve you a seat

then he’d go “(name)!” while waving from his seat it’s actually kind of embarrassing

there is never anxiety of being seated next to a stranger bc sunoo has your back

he’d grab an extra mini fan from his bag to give to U bc these school events r always so scorching hot

sunoo does that “leaning against your locker while you get things” thing

he is so unaware of how HANDSOME he looks

oh and btw if you don’t attend class, he probably won’t in solidarity

in the chances that he does attend class, he usually sends you photos of his notes and everything you need to know

he’d be like i’m soooooo bored 2 minutes into the class without you like it hasn’t even STARTED

just prepare for his spam messages

after class, you’d buy street food and just gossip over it

you’d stare at what he bought and he’d roll his eyes before pushing the stick towards you so you can bite off it

YES feeding each other … normal best friend things

anyways moving on

another thing in my vision is that he’s the provider of art materials

the teacher suddenly lets you make a poster????

you know you’re secured bc sunoo is ur bff and will let only YOU borrow his supplies

“sunoo, let me borrow your colored markers”

“ok, which colors do you want” ☺️☺️☺️☺️

flat out will say no to everyone else tho

he’s kind of intimidating honestly despite having the sweetest smile

LIKE he’s friends with everyone but not friends friends

do you guys get what i mean

he is just a completely different person with you bc he trusts u the most and he just becomes CRAZY

like yall let him keep his crazy too much .. thank god you’re there for him to unleash it to

he’s one of the people who plays volleyball with riki and friends

but he’s absolutely horrible please save him

altho … why does he look so handsome playing even tho he can’t receive the ball? 🤨

he’d just laugh and crumble in embarrassment and you’d be the number one person cheering for him

(update after ella’s rb,, full credits to her) u would def put the blame on his teammates

“RIKI DO BETTER” even if it was 100% sunoo’s fault like so real

weird specific love language? buying each other water

he’s playing volleyball? you have a bottle of water for him in case he wants to sit out the game and watch with you

you’re finished with your physical education practical exam? he’s waiting for you with his big ass water jug

BUT LIKEEEE why is there a change in the air suddenly 😩😩😩

why is your best friend so boyfriend material actually

he holds your hand… holds it so firmly

sunoo gives the best hugs too

he makes you laugh and he’s so thoughtful with his stupid water and his art materials

even carries your things for you sometimes

AND yall take good photos of each other

“does my hair look fine?”

he’d reach out to fix it … tuck it behind your ear or look at you so intensely before going back to smiling n saying yup all good!

during the sports festival, yall are off joining some type of singing jingle cheer competition which is usually the first event

so you guys just joke around for the rest of the week, watch some events, and take LOTS of photos

you would laugh at your classmates

maybe even cheer for some of your friends

just as long as you’re next to each other

you probably bad mouth the opposite team BUT TO YOURSELVES .. not out loud

would clap so hard when your team wins a point !!!

also back to the taking photos detail

he’d just be dragging you everywhere to take photos bc when is the best time but NOW

ofc u do take his photos .. u ltrly take the Best

“sunoo, look, you’re so handsome here!”

and then you look up at him to see his reaction and he’s already looking at you

uh oh.

your faces are so close to each other like SO close

let’s step back and check the label 😂

BEST FRIENDS !!!!!

tho he does save u out of ur misery by asking you out a week later

bc apparently the sudden shift in air also happened to HIM

he brings it up as a joke first bc he’s testing the waters and he’s not trynna get rejected

“imagine if we were dating…..” and a long lingering pause in the air afterward

if you joked back with like a “LOL”, he’d know u don’t feel the same

but you ltrly go 😮 and so speechless bc why is he suddenly bringing this up when you’ve spent the last few nights thinking about him

did those tiktok manifestations work

did that tiktok audio actually get sunoo to like u back

“um… well! well, you see…”

“i like you”

“THANK GOD”

you guys are like waaaaay more inseparable now that you’re dating

your friends will fake vomit around u .. but don’t worry it’s just bc they’re bitchless

while u and ur bf sunoo are happily in love

btw he gets jealous easily TEARSSSSSS

he gets all pouty but don’t worry, you just have to Hug him and give him a kiss and he’s all smiles again

oh, and i feel the need to inform you that hugs are his favorite thing in the world

and CHEEK kisses like specifically cheek kisses.. he loves them

his ideal dates r just when you’re at each other’s house

you can order takeout and do your skincare together … watch the latest movies

his family loves you too

so much that they include your favorite snacks when they go grocery shopping

“sunoo, get those chips that (name) rly likes. u dont know when she might come over next!”

like they are ANTICIPATING you

enjoy dating i love sunoo

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

[ayrtonswnna]

ʚïɞ "a podium to celebrate" OP81

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀oscar piastri x redbull!driver!oc

summary: in witch aria won't let oscar's first win be ruined.

warnings: fluff all the way down!!!!! this is all fiction and i mean no hate towards lando, i'm a mclaren fan and like both their drivers. swearing, english is not my first language, had to sacrifice lewis 200th win for this.

word count: 1k

"Oscar Piastri, P1! Oh my god! Always on my way!" Aria jumps in excitement as she enters the cool-down room, a cold towel around her neck as she smiles at the Aussie.

They are good friends; physically close, yes, but always professional and caring towards each other. Two rookies from the 2023 season, they've been racing each other since their earlier categories.

"It's my first job ever, you know." he chuckles softly, with a small shrug and a strange tension in the air as he approaches. "Good race to you too! I saw Babybull in my rearview the whole time."

"I’ve got to keep the pressure up," she jokes, wrapping her arms around his waist as he hugs her over the shoulders, playfully. "What happened? Is the car okay?"

"Yeah. Just team stuff." He shrugs again. "We’ll talk later."

And then it hits. A furious Lando Norris storms into the room, a frown on his face as he throws his Pirelli cap on the floor, his helmet making a loud noise as it hits the surface.

"Yeah, you guys surely can talk later." the Brit growls. "Good race, you guys."

"Would’ve liked your place, but yeah." Aria teases, something she often does.

Even a grumpy Max Verstappen on his worst radio days would crack a smile around her in the paddock. But not today, not the race vice-winner.

"Maybe if you asked... I was really supposed to give in. It'd be no news."

"Lando had to give me the position on the last lap." Oscar explains, trying to ease the tension and stop the sarcasm. "The team messed up."

"Oh— Yeah, that’s tough, guys." She sighs, now sitting down in her third-place chair, exchanging glances with the papaya boys. "I’m sorry. But hey! Double podium! Double the points, double the reason to celebrate!" Aria tries to lighten the mood, as the three of them now watch the race highlights on the big screen.

"Don’t act like Babybull and Madmax haven’t done this too many times."

Aria gets it. It’s a fucked-up feeling; swapping spots so late in the race might feel like a P20, it might be terrible. She usually gets along very well with both McLaren drivers, and that’s probably why she’s a bit surprised by the harsh tone in the older boy's voice.

Even the “Babybull” nickname feels off. She was given that name after winning her first race in her rookie year, driving for Red Bull and crying like a baby. Both RB drivers were together in an interview when Max jokingly called her a "baby driving a fast car." The name stuck.

"Never too many." she decides to let the conversation fade, trying to catch Oscar's eyes but failing.

The train of thought has its chance to choo-choo along until they’re getting ready for the podium.

She knows the Aussie driver well enough. He might be feeling terrible, and doesn’t even need to hear the whole situation to feel like the worst teammate in the world. Her head tilts up when she sees her engineer, as the winning trio walks up to the trophy ceremony, their bond strong enough that he knows what she wants to know, even from a distance as they prepare the backstage for the podium.

"Piastri had the lead, they messed up the pit call and Norris stayed out with the lead." the older guy explains, his lips moving just enough for her to read them. They had people in the way, so she has to use a bit if effort to understand. "They told him to switch, he didn’t want to. Obviously. Obviously. It took time to convince him, almost went downhill."

Her mouth forms a perfect "O" before the staff calls her up for the trophy. Aria could already think it was something like this. Mclaren been fooling around with their team decision and even though Oscar is just too polite when talking about it, she did hear some complains. This box call thing is a recurring issue, she listened to him talking about it and could notice the papaya cars having this problem during the races.

Minutes later, Norris is popping the champagne like he hasn’t in the past few races, while Aria’s mind holds her still for the papaya boys to celebrate their double podium. She slowly sets her trophy away from the chaos the area might become, looking at the center of the podium as nothing big happens. No big celebrations, just Oscar holding his trophy while Lando sprays the champagne with force, as he usually does, even if he hasn’t been in the mood for it in recent weeks.

Then Norris heads to spray the cheering crowd, leaving her best friend to celebrate alone. — Of course, if Aria wasn’t there. Her bottle spilling alcohol for a few seconds before she throws it towards Oscar, yelling a loud "2000s for the win!" and laughing as the boy is caught by surprise.

"You’re ridiculous." he jokes, spraying the liquid on her as they start to chase each other like two kids on a playground; their playground, the Hungarian podium of the Formula One championship.

For a while, the guilt and angst Oscar feels over such a controversial win can fade away, and that’s the thing about his friend, or whatever they don’t mind being called.

She is a stream of light — that’s what she does to people in her orbit. The boy is now grinning from ear to ear, finally celebrating his win, something he almost felt he didn’t deserve.

"Future’s looking bright, huh?" She sets the bottle down as they wave a last goodbye to the crowd. "I like sharing this life with you."

Osc nods, a few seconds delayed before he lets his eyes meet his friend's.

It really is like sharing a life; they’re around each other all the time, prefer eating in the common areas in the paddock just so they can have lunch together. They know each other’s parents, celebrate each other’s wins, and visit each other’s hotel rooms late at night. Physical intimacy, it might be happening tonight.

"Yeah, me too," he says, smiling, soaked in champagne, his hair hidden under his cap, his eyes squinting in the sun. "Thank you."

"For what?" Aria chuckles as they’re called off the podium.

"You know what for. I’m lucky to have you."

"We’re lucky to have each other."

ʚïɞ

[lesbianvettel]

So You Think I’m Mediocre? | Jenson Button x RB!Reader

Had to post something for his birthday. Happy birthday Jense ily!

Red Bull reader sees an interview Jenson did where she thinks he’s criticising her. Y/N confronts him. Slight mischaracterisation of Jense, apologies, I don’t know much about his career with Sky. Also he’s not married in this, sorry not sorry Brittny.

Warnings: 18+, thigh riding, slight degradation, unprotected sex

Word count: 2.1k

———————————————————————

“So, Jenson, what are your thoughts on Y/N?” Naomi asked, turning to her coworker.

“I’m not sure she’s all she’s hyped up to be-“ Jenson replies, quickly continuing when Naomi raises an eyebrow, “-Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not calling her mediocre per se- she’s been on the podium for the past 8 races. But has she really got what it takes to win?”

“Harsh words from JB! It looks like Y/N has to work harder to get his approval!” Naomi says to the camera, changing the subject to another driver.

You shut off your phone, slamming it down on the table in annoyance. Mediocre? You? You huff loudly, attracting the attention of your teammate.

“What’s got you all flustered? You should be celebrating!” Max chuckles, walking to sit opposite you.

The race had finished ages ago, and you’d finally had time to relax away from the cameras.

“Stupid fucking Jenson Button. Y’know I looked up to him for so many years, and now he’s out here slagging me off on live tv!” You complain, waving your hands around.

“Oh I saw that, surely he just wants you to get that top spot? Though I’m not giving it to you any time soon.” He replied lightheartedly, a poor attempt at humour.

“I don’t get why he’s so harsh on me! There’s loads of drivers who get podium a lot but don’t win, Charles is always doing it!” You whine.

“Maybe he has a crush on you.” Max joked. Then, seeing your eyes roll, added. “Hey that’d be a good thing right? Maybe he doesn’t want to show bias towards you because he likes you. Plus he’s very attractive- and single.”

“Back off, I had eyes on him first.” You smirk, then frowned again. “You don’t think that’s true, surely?”

“Only one way to find out, you should confront him about it.” Max stood up, excited to hear about the interaction in the morning.

“Though maybe find somewhere private, just in case.” He winked, exiting the room.

•••

You were on your way to your rental car, deep in thought, when suddenly you bumped into someone.

“Oh my god sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!” You apologise quickly, looking up to see who you’d crashed into.

And, of course it was the last person you wanted to see. Jenson Button.

“You can drive 200mph but can’t walk without crashing?” He chuckled, not unkindly.

“Yeah, whatever.” You scowled at him, remembering the interview.

He looked down at you in surprise, “What’s wrong, Y/N? I was only joking.” He frowned.

“Like you were only joking about me being mediocre?” You snapped.

You’d intended to ask him about his comments at the next race, after you’d had time to cool off. Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

“Oh gosh, you saw that? I really didn’t mean it to sound so harsh, I respect you, Y/N, I think you’re one of the best drivers we’ve seen in years!” He rubbed his hand awkwardly on his neck.

“It didn’t sound like it. It sounded like you thought I’d never win.” You replied, pouting slightly.

“Sweetheart, I would love to see you beat Max. Between you and me, I think he needs to lose once in a while to keep him humble. But I couldn’t just say that on tv, I’m not really supposed to show favouritism.” He moved his other hand to rest on your shoulder, smiling earnestly.

You could feel the anger dissipating. “Are you trying to say I’m your favourite?” You replied, your voice sounding hopeful.

“Off the record, yes. I’m sorry you thought otherwise, I genuinely admire your skill and determination.” He rubbed your shoulder with his thumb, smiling sincerely.

You relaxed your shoulders, suddenly feeling embarrassed, blush rising to your cheeks.

“Plus,” he added, moving his hand slowly down your arm, “you’re arguably the prettiest on the grid.” His eyes raked over your body, pupils dilating almost imperceptibly.

Looking up at him through your lashes, you lean into his touch slightly. Seeing your reaction, Jenson brought a hand to your waist, gripping it gently.

“Well, I’d argue Charles wins in that category, at least Max seems to think so, but thank you.” You smiled bashfully.

“Yeah I bet he does. Ya know, I’m just about to head back to my hotel, I don’t suppose you want join? We can order food, I bet you’re starving.”

Your eyes widened at the proposal, unable to speak.

“Unless you have other plans?” He added hastily, “You’re probably going out to celebrate with Max?”

“No! I mean, I was, but it gets old after a while, we’re celebrating practically every race. Food sounds good!” You reply quickly, not wanting to sound uninterested.

“Okay! Great!” He chuckled, his hand moving to your back as he steered you towards his car.

•••

The drive back to his hotel room felt like an eternity. You couldn’t believe it. Here you were, in a car with your idol (and let’s be honest, crush). Jenson fucking Button.

Still brimming with energy from the race, you bounce your leg slightly, hoping Jenson wouldn’t think it was nerves. You didn’t want him to think he had the upper hand - you’d proved him wrong, you were a winner.

•••

Jenson had already checked in a few days prior so you went straight to his room, glad that the hotel was more secluded. As a female driver the media tended to give you a bad reputation.

You had barely stepped foot in the room when you were being pinned against the wall, his body towering over you.

“You drive me crazy, you know that?” He said between hungry kisses, barely pausing to breathe.

“Me? I thought I was just a mediocre driver?” You said, suddenly getting cocky, knowing he couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“Come first and I’ll give you all the praise you want. Live on camera.” He replied, removing your shirt to continue kissing downwards.

“Come first? Well that depends on your skill.” You moaned as he sucked hickeys onto your neck, high enough to not be covered by your race suit.

“You’re such a tease. Strutting around the paddock in your tight suit for everyone to see.” He growls, unclasping your bra, kissing your breasts, teasing your nipples.

“But you’re the only one who gets a look under the suit, baby.” You whined, grasping his short hair and moving his head lower as he starts to unbuckle your trousers.

“Is that so? Last I heard you were whoring yourself out to any driver. Glad to hear you let ex-drivers participate.” He pulls your trousers down, swiftly removing them along with your panties.

“Your sources are incorrect, I’m not a slut, like you were at my age.” You reply, gasping as he drops to his knees, staring up at you hungrily.

“And yet here you are, at my mercy, begging for my touch.” He grazed his fingers across your inner thighs, hearing your breath hitch the closer he got to your sweet spot.

“Fuck, Jense, just get on with it!” You cried in frustration, desperate for him.

“As you wish.” He replied, his face disappearing, tongue lapping at your pussy, gently at first, deliberately missing your clit.

You grab his hair again, pushing him deeper, his tongue entering you while his fingers moved towards your sensitive clit.

He started to gently rub it, still lapping up your juices, making your legs shake slightly, clenching your thighs around his head.

“Jenseeeee-“ you whine, desperate for release. “Please, I need you inside me!” You could feel the sharp burn of his stubble against your clit, and it was almost too much.

He slowly gets up and leads you towards the bed, removing his clothes as you go.

Jenson sits at the foot of the bed and pats his bare thighs. “Show me how much you want it.”

You climb onto his lap, positioning yourself so your pussy was resting against his thigh.

Slowly at first, you rock your hips, gasping as your clit brushed his leg. He held your hips steady, encouraging you to speed up slightly.

A hand rested on your jaw, tilting your head up so he could watch your face, your mouth open, panting.

“You look so pretty like this, love, so desperate for my cock, you’re practically dripping all over me.” He smirked, knowing you were close.

“I need it so bad, Jense! Need your thick cock in me!” You reply, your pussy clenching around nothing. Your orgasm was building quickly, so close you could taste it.

Suddenly he lifted you off his thighs, pushing you gently onto the mattress, climbing on top of you. He chuckled as you let out a frustrated groan.

You gasped as he moved back to kissing your neck, whining at the loss of contact between your legs.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?” He whispered, sending shivers down your spine.

“Yes!” You cried, arching up as he pushed your hips back down, entering a finger inside you.

You cried out for more, whining his name as he slowly entered a second, then third digit into you, stretching your tight pussy.

“That’s it baby, you’re so good for me, my perfect little slut.” He cooed, removing his fingers as you wailed in frustration.

“Patience, love.” Jenson said softly, moving to rub his dick across your wetness, hitting your clit at just the right angle.

“Please, stop teasing me!” You moaned, already so wet for him.

He smirked, slowly entering you until he bottoms out.

You whine, feeling so full, as he waits for you to adjust to his length.

He starts to pull out, making you whimper, until only his tip was inside you. He slams back into you as you cried out in pleasure.

“You’re taking me so well, darling, you’re so good for me.” He cooed, cupping your chin, pulling you into another deep kiss.

He sets a steady pace, focused on your now incoherent sentences. “You make such pretty sounds, sweetheart. Look at you, barely able to talk, so drunk on my cock.”

His strong hands grip your waist just hard enough to leave bruises in the morning, marking you as his.

Moving back to your nipples he runs his tongue slowly over them, moving one hand up to pinch them, coaxing another moan out of you.

“I’m so close!” You wail, tipping your head back as he attacks your neck again, licking and kissing over the red marks starting to appear.

“Come for me.” He commands, sending you over the edge as he reaches down to circle your neglected clit.

You cum, clenching your walls around his cock, overstimulated by his fingers and thickness.

“You look so beautiful with me inside you. It’s like you were made for me.”

Opening your eyes you gaze up at him with hooded eyes, dazed and glassy.

Your seductive stare sent him over the edge. “Darling, I’m gonna come!” He said, thrusts becoming uneven.

“Jense!” You cry, “Please, inside me!”

His thrusting stops as he fills you deeply with his seed. You almost come again, feeling so full of him, moaning obscenely.

“You’re such a good girl.” He whispers in your ear, pulling out of you finally, mouth watering as he watches his seed drip out of your wet cunt.

You look up at him innocently, biting your lip at the feeling of his cum trickling down your leg.

“I’m all yours, Jense.” You smile, pulling him into a slow, sensual kiss.

Eventually he breaks the kiss, getting up to walk to the bathroom, returning with a wet cloth.

Wiping you down gently, he kisses you again softly. Your eyes are closed as you smile sleepily, enjoying being taken care of.

Once you were clean, he lays down next to you, stroking your hair softly, staring at your puffy lips, red from rough kisses.

“Still think I’m mediocre?” You ask, almost inaudibly.

“Hmm,” he groaned into your neck, tracing a hand across your stomach. “I think you’ve convinced me.”

You smile as he kisses you gently, satisfied by his answer, slowly falling asleep in his arms as he moves his hand to circle your back.

•••

You wake in the night suddenly hungry, realising you hadn’t eaten since the race. A plate of fruit lay on the table next to you, along with a glass of water and a note:

You’ve worked up an appetite, sorry that’s the only cold food room service offered. Don’t worry, I’ll buy you dinner to make up for it.

You smile lovingly down at the man in your arms. Max is going to be so smug when you tell him.

[earthtooz]

x : BOX OF SURPRISES :*+ﾟ

in which: sampo has something for you and you fall a little more in love with him.

warnings: 1k wc, FLUFF (slight angst), reader is a little mean :,) but it's bc sampo's annoying, gn!merchant!reader, banter, seemingly unrequited feelings, ambiguous relationship?

a/n: need this pathetic sop of a man so badly it's not even funny. anyways, enjoy! pls rb if u liked it :D

“sampo, what is the meaning of this?” setting down the heavy boxes of goods with a huff, suspicion stirs in your gut. 

“did you not see my text earlier? i could have sworn you read it,” he hums, trailing off thoughtfully as he looks at you through his swept-aside strands of hair. 

you look away from the carefree glint in his eyes whilst ignoring the pounding of your heart.

“i’m working, sampo- being an ethical and trustworthy merchant is a hard job, y’know?”

the man laughs, boisterous and loud. a migraine is coming, it's only natural to get one after dealing with its human embodiment. 

“don’t you have other things to do?” you mutter.

“what, other than talking with my favourite fellow merchant?” 

“you mean terrorising.”

sampo laughs again. this time, he shuts his eyes close and grins so wide that he flashes his annoyingly perfect teeth. it’s so painful that he’s so beautiful, if only that could excuse his horrendous personality (you adore him). 

pretending to wipe a tear from his eyes, he sighs wistfully. “this is why i love talking to you, never a dull moment with you, y/n.”

you try not to let his flattery get to you. besides, he probably says this to all of his competitors just to butter them up, breaking their walls before inevitably taking them and distributing their resources to consumers at cheaper prices. 

“whatever, sampo. will you leave me alone now?”

“hey, hey, hey, what’s the rush?” he asks, putting his hands on his hips. you try not to look at the exposed skin that sits above. “the business day is over. don’t you have some time to spare for little old me?”

“the business day may be over for me but never for crooks like you. besides. i need to pack up  and i want to go home, so i don’t appreciate any delays.”

“you think of me as a mere ‘delay’?” sampo gestures to himself, all grandiose and dramatics. “i’m hurt, and here i was thinking that we had a connection.”

there’s a part of you that hopefully yearns for him to expand on the ‘connection’ he so speaks of, but the desire fades as quickly as it appears, replaced with dejection instead. to cross the line with sampo koski would be fatal for your business and you fear that you were already toeing the boundaries. tolerating and talking to him for goodwill was one thing, but going ahead and falling for him was another. 

furthermore, you don’t like the feeling that he knows about how you feel. everywhere you turn, sampo is there, leaning against the wall, looking like temptation itself as he toys with those small blades of his. they’re kind of like boomerangs, but you’re not too sure.

there’s a lot about sampo you’re not too sure about- perhaps if you weren’t a competing merchant, you would have tried to learn them all. 

“you drive me insane,” you murmur, packing up all the leftover goods into a crate.

“let me help you,” he offers, picking up some goods and sorting them without permission. you have half a mind to slap him away, but against the better judgement of your brain, you allow him to assist.

when the crate is filled, sampo walks over to grab another empty box, passing it to you. you eye him suspiciously and the blue-haired merchant is quick to make a comment on your speculatory glance. 

“why are you looking at me like that?” 

“why are you… helping me?”

“what? is it so wild that sampo koski can be of assistance? i have some good in my heart, ya know,” he sings, reaching over your stall to adjust the twisted strap of your outfit. 

sampo winks at you when he meets your gaze again.

you hate the way your body reacts to his fleeting touch, and the way you want more. you want to feel how his hands would fit in yours, or around your waist, or holding your face, or-

“speechless, are we now?” chuckles the merchant. “i normally elicit this reaction-”

shaking your thoughts away, you cut him off with a slam of your crate, defeated by the betrayal of your own wandering mind. “sampo.”

for a moment, shock shines in his eyes, his hair bouncing as he jolts. you also can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to run your hands through it. if he won’t share his heart then perhaps his hair care routine could do, after all, it is unfair to have such luminous hair despite running around all day.

“didn’t you have something for me?” you ask, trying not to let your exasperation bleed into your tone. “that’s why you’re here, no?”

he presses a hand to his chest and acts like he's been shot. “so you read my message and chose not to reply? i’m hurt, y/n, how cou-”

“sampo. please, i’m in no mood to banter. can we get this exchange over and done with?”

for a flash of a second, you delude yourself into seeing a slight furrow in sampo’s eyebrows, expression moulding into something akin to sadness. it’s a face that will haunt your dreams, you think, especially with the way he glanced away from you, doubt evident in his body language as he nods shyly.

it's not like sampo to break eye contact, but he recovers too quickly for you to comment on it and then further shuts you up when he presents an innocently pretty box. through common sense, it looks like a box of chocolates, but because you know sampo koski, you’re a little frightful of the contents inside. 

“wh-what’s the meaning of this?” you ask, eyeing the gift carefully.

sampo pushes it further towards you. “open it and find out!”

“it’s not going to blow up in my face, is it?” 

“do you think so little of me?”

“yes, because you trick people like this, sampo, by presenting a seemingly innocent box of chocolates and then bam- they blow up in-”

“okay, okay, i promise this isn’t one of them ones that go ‘bam’! trust me!”

"okay... i'll trust you on this one."

with a little reluctance, you take the outstretched box, scepticism written all over your face. preparing for the worst, you untie the little bow and gently lift off the cover, melting at the contents within.

chocolates of various sizes and design litter the inside and the cuteness of it is enough to make you melt, the small smile appearing on your face only a tiny indication of the affection growing within you. not to mention, these sweets don’t look like the cheap mimics that the underworld produces. how did sampo get his hands on these, and why would he give them to you?

suddenly laced with guilt at the unnecessary attitude and rudeness you showed him earlier, you look up with a ‘thank you’ and apology on the tip of your tongue, but he’s gone. disappeared into thin air at the crumbling of your heart's walls.

disappointed, you sigh and make a mental note to thank him the next time you see him. resuming your packing up, you’re unaware of the new brightness your expression carries, and how you move around with a little more bounce to your step.

hugging the gift close to you, a certain merchant lays low nearby and watches how enthused you seem by the new gift. sampo concludes then and there that your smile is priceless and he would do anything to be the cause of it.

if only he could tell you.

© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[lycanlupins]

┌─ “ „ EYES LIKE SKY ─┐

Roy Harper x F!Reader - Chapter 1

Cam Girl Au! [+18]

Sex toys, D&S elements, controlled orgasm, pet names

AN: im kinda back?? idk im trying this out because i really like writing again 🥹 lmk if y’all like this!! remember to like + rb + leave a comment if you enjoyed it!! Anyways, enjoy Chapter 1!!

You heard a familiar ping come from your laptop, a sign that everything was up and working on your end.

“Great…” you sigh and roll your eyes, “Time for another show.” You’re a cam girl, and a pretty successful one at that, but it never failed to make you rethink your career path when you logged in at the same time every night like clockwork. You didn’t have a specialty so to speak but you did have a specific clientele, so you did what you do best; angle your camera, adjust your lingerie and press the glaring red go live button to start your show.

[r0binhood]: how’s our favorite girl?

[seraphicsiren]: tired, been pretty low energy lately but i’m ready to please as always!

Your number one fan, r0binhood, was finally there and that meant you’d be taking home at least $100 that night.

[r0binhood]: good, hopefully that means you have all of your toys charged ;)

Gag. He was probably some creep in his 50’s, rubbing one out on his wrinkly cock while you talk him through it but fuck it, his money was a nice cushion while you got back on your feet at the new apartment you were renting.

“Hi boys, let’s start shall we?” You purred, pushing the straps of your nightgown down ever so slowly just to tease your viewers. Suddenly you hear a familiar notification, your first tip of the night. A few tokens here and there from desperate men trying to get your attention but you knew better. You knew if you wanted the real money, you would wait for him.

r0binhood has sent you 50 tokens.

There it is. You push down your nightgown, exposing the lacey bra underneath, a slew of tips flooding your notifications once more. They never got to see your face, it was your one rule, and it kept the mystery alive for them. You won’t have a breach of privacy and they can imagine you look like their wildest, wettest dreams.

[r0binhood]: private show?

[seraphicsiren]: you know the rules, private shows are 500 an hour.

He wouldn’t, you knew better than to expect a man to buy that sort of time on one of your shows. Sure, you may make a few hundred per show along with your other forms of income but a private show? In your dreams. You were asking $25 an hour for your time, it wasn’t much but most men would tune out then and there.

r0binhood bought a private show.

The screen went blank, no notifications to be had and then an empty chat popped up.

[r0binhood]: hi princess. just thought i’d spoil myself and see what you can do for me with the time we have here.

You were used to entertaining multiple men, and sometimes others, at the best of times on your streams. This was scary, this was something you were completely foreign to.

[seraphicsiren]: you have an hour of my time to tell me to do whatever it is you’d like. my attention is all on you.

Your hands were shaking, sweaty, and clammy at the thought of performing for one person. You had been intimate in the past, that wasn’t the issue, he was paying for you to please him this time. And while yes, you knew what he liked more or less, he was still someone completely stranger to you.

[r0binhood]: why don’t you start off with the bullet, don’t take anything off, just use the bullet on yourself.

You grabbed the compact vibrator from your nightstand, flipping the switch to the on position as it came to life with a whirring sound. Most often than not, you were in control of the speed and rhythm, but tonight he had tricks up his sleeve.

r0binhood redeemed 300 tokens for bullet control.

Shit. You begrudgingly sent the link for a 10 minute session on your vibrator.

[seraphicsiren]: use those 10 minutes wisely

[r0binhood]: i’ll only need 5

An immediate slow vibration started against your clit, sending a wave of pleasure through your nerves.

“Fuck…” you moan under your breath. Usually men like him would spend their 10 minutes of control on the highest setting, they never knew what you liked. They thought all women must like a high intensity session when it just felt boring to you, but you faked orgasm after orgasm when they were in control to make them feel better.

Not this time. No, this man knew what he was doing, he slowly upped the intensity until he heard that hitch in your breathing, the one that indicated that it must have felt good.

“Mmnh…that feels so good, christ…” you lolled your head back, rutting against the vibrator and a pillow under you for better friction. He must have noticed the way you were reacting because he immediately switched up the intensity for a split second to grab your attention.

[r0binhood]: needed your attention sweetheart, i want your eyes on me, i want to watch you come undone.

This man… he commanded his attention, and he commanded it well. Why was this man behind the screen making you feel horny for some god forsaken reason? Was it the dominance? The control he had over you at this moment? Fuck it, you didn’t care, it just felt so damn good.

Another minute passed before he grew bored of the intensity, turning it up a setting or two.

“Shit!” You squeaked, panting like a dog at the feeling between your legs. You were soaking, dripping all over your pretty red sheets and pillows, grinding down for some semblance of friction against your puffy, needy cunt.

Soon enough, the setting he was at was beginning to make you see stars. Babbling nonsense and a string of curses as you kept humping your pillow like a horny teen until—

“SHITSHITSHIT!” You felt that tight coil in your stomach pop, squirting all over your sheets and everything within a small distance of you. You wanted to collapse, you could feel your legs turn to jelly as you tried to crawl back to your laptop.

[seraphicsiren]: 5 minutes…left…

You knew he was chuckling behind his screen, because how the fuck did he get you to squirt on camera with just him in control.

[r0binhood]: i’ll let you be for tonight, here’s the rest of my tokens. i’ll be back tomorrow night if you’re online. see ya princess.

r0binhood tipped 1000 tokens.

Not long afterwards you ended your stream, too spent and shocked to continue for the night. You shut your laptop, cleaned your bed and made a beeline for your kitchen.

“How the fuck did he do that…” you racked your brain for the amount of times you had actually cum on stream. You could count the times on one hand and now make that two hands. You were still throbbing, rubbing your legs together while you washed some dishes in your sink. You never noticed the window in your kitchen was facing another occupied apartment until just now.

“Huh…wonder who lives there.” You watch the light from their tv flicker different colors. Suddenly you see movement, someone getting closer to the window. Holy fuck.

He looks directly at you, a smile wide on his face as he waves and opens his window. You were awestruck for a moment, he was gorgeous. Not in a model way but something different. He was rugged and manly but still somehow read as boyish. After a few moments you join him in opening your window, leaning out ever so slightly.

“Hi! I’m Roy, nice to see a friendly face across the way for once!” He shouted.

“I’m Y/N, I’m guessing this place was empty for a bit?”

“Yeah, this isn’t really the nicest building around but it's got charm! What do you say we meet for coffee sometime? I haven’t met anyone around my age in forever.”

“Yeah! How does tomorrow morning sound?”

He smiles a toothy grin. God he was cute, missing a tooth by his right canine and light ginger stubble littered his chin. He nodded while you were busy taking in every feature of his face and he chuckled.

“Hey, get some sleep, you look out of it.” He shook his head, still smiling from ear to ear. You couldn’t tell if you were throbbing from the mind numbing orgasm you had earlier or if his kind smile had your brain in a tizzy, either way you needed to take care of that feeling before bed. You finished up dishes in the kitchen, closed your window and headed straight for the cum soaked bed.

You were honestly too tired and too horny to care so you grabbed the nearest towel and dropped it on top of your sheets. You could worry about that in the morning, right now you needed sweet relief. And with your final spur of energy you grabbed your dildo and got right to work at the thought of that hot ginger across the hall.

➸➸➸

[mysteriouslyjovialcolor]

Brazil 2024

-George!!! He’s flying off!!

-Max and Lewis making up positions together

-Yuki still p3!!

-“Verstappen…and that’s Sergio Perez!” Dude I almost died!

-Yes!! Max!! Let’s go!!

-“17th on the grid! He’s made up 7 places on the first corner of lap 2!”

-Imagine having to drive Senna’s car and then downgrading to that…I feel for Lewis

-There was an extra formation lap? Damn, I missed that

-No DRS in these conditions

-Oh no Ollie :((

-This is giving Brazil 2016 so much, but I really don’t want to jinx it

-Franco Colapinto under investigation for causing a collision on Ollie Bearman (the rookies are fighting)

-“Norris could do with his teammate holding off Verstappen here- because so far no one seems to be able to do that”

-Don’t think I’ve seen Max and Oscar go wheel to wheel in a while

-Oh it was Ollie who caused the collision: 10s penalty

-“Max Verstappen hunting down through the mist and spray”

-I hate that Mercedes so much, what do you mean Lewis Hamilton can’t make up positions

-Carlos stuck behind a Sauber??

-Let’s go Max!! That’s the third time he’s pulled off that move!

-Yellow flag? Oh god Lewis- thought that was George for a second

-“Wheel to wheel with Hamilton” Franco probably giggling in his cockpit

-“Starting procedures infringements” what happened??

-Ohmygod Charles versus Max again! Brazil is giving!!

-I’m so happy for Yuki! Look at him still holding p3! (Please let him make podium)

-Yuki just being the cork in the bottle for everyone behind him

-Honestly give Lewis Senna’s car back

-“Car’s not drivable mate. I’m locking up, bouncing everywhere” “Understood” The way I would scream at that response

-“Carlos Sainz, is this the smooth operation he was looking for?” Haha

-Oh god, both the Mercedes struggling

-Ahh Charles and Max!

-“That was Charles Leclerc knowing exactly where Max Verstappen was going to go” He was like “mistakes”, what mistakes?

-Carlos dropping back two places again??

-So much spray

-“Who is going to make that right call?” The pressure to change to the right tires would make me throw up

-Charles pitting first???

-Ferrari please do right by us or I will cry

-I need to be watching this race with someone so that we could scream at Ferrari together

-There goes the RB! Of Liam Lawson” Stop with the pauses!! My heart can’t take it!

-“Leclerc pitted for new tires, he went into traffic and can not not clear it” Ferrari whyyy

-Nico?!!?

-Aaah Yuki?!?

-VSC!

-Worked out I think, sort of, for Charles

-Oh shit Mercedes in technical trouble?

-Ocon leading the race??

-Yuki no!! P6 :(

-Ohmygod how are they driving like this??

-Oscar penalty??

-Pierre P3?? Alpine!! What’s going on?!

-Safety car again?

-“Give Esteban Ocon his due” Yes, I swear

-The spray is so bad, you can barely see the cars

-Oh hell! Franco?! That looks bad!

-“The Williams mechanics, they’ve had such a tough day” Someone check on them please

-Max: “My tires are just like a boat”

-I feel for the marshals who have to take care of that

-The pit lane looking so colorful with all the different team mechanics, such a stark contrast to the gray skies

-Aw the team reassuring Yuki>>

-“Oscar Piastri has just come over to apologize to Liam Lawson” :)

-Maxplaining in intense action

-I kind of like these moments in wet races. The drivers getting a comfort break and us getting to see them in between everything

-Black flag?? What does that mean?? Why is he out!

-Rolling start?

-Ollie Bearman has served his penalty? When?

-Lando Norris behind Max Verstappen on the running down the pit lane game” haha

-“George Russel has a scooter. I wonder if he’s nicked Lewis Hamilton’s”

-See?? This is fun

-“First driver to get a black flag since 2007” That’s the opposite of fun

-Honestly just give Alpine the win, they need it

-Standing start…nope, rolling start

-We’re still only halfway through

-Carlos’ “Hello?” was hilarious. Ferrari what are you doing

-Yellow flag? Green flag!

-Oh shit Lando!

-Ohmygod Charles too??

-Ocon I’m sorry if I’ve ever doubted you

-Yuki losing positions is going to make me cry (please at least stay in the points)

-Charles stuck in a McLaren sandwich

-“Hamilton just driving into a wall of water” You really can’t see anything out there

-What is going on with Carlos?

-Oh bloody hell, another red flag? No! He got out

-Ollie is having the worst race right now

-Okay apparently if Alpine stay where they are right now they go past Haas in the WCC. I’m slightly less happy for them now

-I think Liam and Checo are just destined to fight every race weekend now

-Carlos Sainz???

-Another safety car

-Honestly this is such a bad weekend for so many team mechanics

-Kimi Raikonnen mentioned!!

<interlude cause I forgot to breathe>

-Charles!!

-Ohmygod Lando!

-Max!!!!

<screaming, crying, screaming>

-What is this race!!

-“Leclerc is the big beneficiary there” YES HE IS

-“Swap positions”

-Ohmygod Max calm down. He’s doing fastest lap after fastest lap!

-Max seriously how many??

-“Class 1 rain” Can McLaren just talk normally sometimes

-“Trying to lick it and send it” Daniel come back, they’re stealing your thing

-Oh Liam and Checo are going for it

-Aand Checo’s lost position

-Max!! What are you doing?? How many fastest laps!!

-I’m so paranoid of something going wrong and me being happy for nothing

-10s lead! I had only heard about days like this

-“It’s vintage Max Verstappen” “He hasn’t changed an iota from when he came here”

-Just remembered I watched Brazil 2019 yesterday and witnessed a Pierre podium, so I basically manifested this

-“You know what that is? Simply Lovely” Ohmygod I’m crying

-The Alpines driving in formation >>

-“The emotions today.. I’ll take it”

-17 fastest laps! That man is insane

I am so so so happy! No one talk to me for the rest of the week!

[tgarrett26]

This is my response to a request I got a while ago, I honestly lost it when I was working on this a few months ago, but I think this is what was asked for. I hope it gets to who wanted it <3

Anything You Can Do, My Dads Can Do Better

With the paper in my hands, I can’t but notice how they start to shake when the low score on the biology midterm are read into my mind.

These are gonna be on my report card, and no one can let down my parents like I can.

They won’t be that disappointed in you, they never have been.

But they wanted me to do better in school than Papa did..even with his issues that held him back.

“Ms. RB?” I’m questioned

I flit my head up to look at the teacher who’s attentively called my name, well..the nickname some kids came up with do to my hyphenated last name.

“Yes?” I ask

“The bell rang.”

I nod abruptly and grab my things, too rushed to care about putting my paper in my binder or even my binder in my bag. I do throw my arm through the strap and the back over my shoulder onto my back (once I’m out the door).

When I’m in the clear, I bolt right down the hallway out of the school until I’m standing before Tony’s car where Happy is awaiting me with the door open.

“Excited to get home?” I’m asked

“Sure am.”

He checks back on me before getting in his seat and getting us going back to the compound. It feels like it came in no time, but soon enough I’m doing the walk of school shame to my parents.

Papa seems to have been in a meeting for a while, so I look around for Baba. However, I’m jumped into fear by whoever lifts me into the air from behind.

“There’s my girl!” is cheered by the now familiar one-armed man

“You’re lucky I was able to think straight and feel the metal of your left. Otherwise it would have been a kick to something you don’t have encased in metal.” I explain as he lets me down

He spins me around for a hug, something I am able to relax into (slightly) after the reveal of my academic let down.

“Why so tense, Doll?” I’m asked

“What do you mean?”

“You’re almost rigid.”

“Maybe I’m just cold.” I murmur

“You’re enhanced, you’d have to be sick to be cold and you don’t get sick. What’s going on?”

“How do you know these things?”

“Parenting is the only thing my past has come into handy for.” he explains while holding onto me loosely

I nod at this, but he sees my still nervous and harsh form, so he guides me over to a bench in the hallway.

“Hey!! Baby’s home!!” is cheered by Papa’s voice

He runs up on us, lifting me differently than Baba did but excited and joyful nonetheless.

“She’s not feeling well, Steve.” Baba speaks up for me to say

He puts me back on the floor in an instant, not even second guessing about what he should do.

“What’s going on, Honey?” Papa worries

“I was just going to find out.., I think.” Baba responds

Baba and I sit down on the bench, Papa kneeling next to us. I take my schoolbag off and search my binders, looking between them and other pockets since my mind blanked as to where I put my grade card at.

When I find it, I pull it out slowly and hold it in front of me, Papa taking it calmly, pulling it towards himself. When he turns it around, he flickers his gaze between me and his husband of so many years.

“What’s this?” he wonders

“My school grades..”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you were getting those today.” I hear from the elder

“You forget along of things, Bub.” Papa tells him

I facepalm and wait, wait for the judgement and the harassment of how I’ve failed them.

“Wow, Honey.” Papa expresses

Here it comes..

“These are better than most of what your Baba got-and he skipped dates with me to sleep with his books.” he adds

“You’re lying.” I mutter as I shake my head

“I don’t lie, Sweetheart. That’s a universally known truth about me, about our family. We don’t hold back honestly, even if we can.”

He seems to have handed the paper to Baba, letting the academically smarter one of those two read over my school’s judgements of my mental achievements.

“He’s right, Doll. These are better than mine.” my Baba speaks up to say

“You’re not exaggerating?”

“No, he was hiding nothing when he said I skipped quality time with him for temporary time with my studies.”

“Wow.” I let out after he rests his right arm on my shoulders

“These are amazing scores, I promise. With all this Common Core stuff we hear Peter ranting about, you’re doing well handling it along with our work life-not everyone could do that, not everyone can.”

“You’re not disappointed?”

“Doll, why would we be disappointed by B’s? Even in your hardest subjects, you got reasonable markings.” Baba expresses

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Just expected different reactions.” I explain

“Better or worse?”

“Worse. Much worse.”

“How come?” he worries and sets his hand on my knee

“Not used to having a supportive environment.”

“Well, you better get used to it, Baby because we aren’t going anywhere and neither is our care for you.”

This brings such warmth of appreciation to my cheeks, one I hope doesn’t go away.

“Not cold now are ya, Doll?” Baba checks

I swat his knee and lean into his arm, setting my right hand on my father’s while I take in the love my family genuinely has for me.

The Next Morning

Mr. Harrington’s Homeroom

“I can’t believe I got grounded for having b’s on my report card!” Flash expresses very unhappily

I guess he doesn’t have it all..

[lelengerine]

the sun in your system

pairing | bff!haechan x reader

synopsis | the one where haechan is hopelessly in love with you, it's sick.

genre | one-sided pining au, college setting, a mix of fluff and angst

wc | 0.7k

notes | i apologize for any errors in this bc i got the biggest brainrot for softie!hyuck and this was created from that spur... this isn't proofread or anything but i hope u like it :> likes and rbs are highly appreciated!

m.list

it’s a sunny saturday afternoon and haechan’s accompanying you to the school’s treasured library to study for an upcoming exam. it was an odd occurrence to even spot him near the premises of this god-forsaken building (as he likes to call it), yet the two of you have been here for a total of five hours and he hasn’t complained about going back to the dorms once.

you did tell him you were going to do some additional research for a class you were taking, but that no longer seems to be the case when you’ve dozed off an hour ago, and your best friend doesn’t seem to have any plans of waking you up.

the faint glow of sunlight peeks through the library’s windows, grazing your features with a soft touch. it doesn’t seem to disturb you, yet haechan takes it upon himself to grab a book and hold it over your eyes, silently shielding them from the warm rays. your nose scrunches a little from the change despite being asleep, falling back to slumber just as quickly.

why would the poor boy ever ever want to leave when he could see you like this?

he may look like a sick fool—and perhaps he is one for following you around like a golden retriever pup who’s lost his owner—but he’ll gladly let others think so if it meant he’d be able to spend his days with you.

it hadn’t been long since he’s fully realized how he felt about you all this time. no, it took a lot of nightly conversations with his dorm mates who were probably tired of the hearts in haechan’s eyes every time you randomly pop in their conversations. at this point, they’d prefer the boy to grow the balls to confess his heart out to you. it’s not like he doesn't profess his love for you in a different way at least once each day in the middle of their dorm anyways.

there were many people who called haechan the sun (hell, even he agrees with it), yet he believes he’d only be a small, burning star when compared to you, his entire solar system. the one that keeps him afloat, the one who makes him feel like he’s destined for greater things ahead of his life, the one who grounds him when he needs it the most so he wouldn’t be floating in a pit of dark space without meaning.

“you’ll never know just how much i love you, y/n.” he breathes without much thinking, each syllable falling from his lips with utmost care, afraid that if he spoke any louder, they’d only get caught up in the depths of his throat.

you stir in your sleep, or at least that’s what he still thinks you're under until you rise up groggily, rubbing your eye. “you love me?”

“it was a joke!” he brushes the topic off, words leaving him through an awkward laugh.

“uhuh, as if i believe that!” you exclaim before covering your mouth in haste, forgetting you were still residing in the library. 

haechan chuckles at you, absolutely adoring the way your eyes widened in sheer shock, cheeks flushing from the sudden rush. “hey, don’t laugh!” you whisper-shout this time, a small pout on your rosy lips.

“sorry! i can’t help it- you just look like a dork.” his statements clearly refuse to align with how he feels about you, a pang of frustration bubbling up within him for being unable to speak his mind freely—the constant fear you might turn your back on him if he did staying hidden in the furthest depths of his mind.

he was okay with this—admiring your presence, as a friend—or rather, he was okay as long as you were.

“was that really a joke though?” you question properly, and haechan can already sense the hesitation behind your voice. 

“mhm, don’t worry about it. i really was just kidding.” he tries reassuring you, another small pang hitting his heart right where it hurt. 

“if you say so… but that joke wasn’t funny at all!” you point out with a huff, returning back to studying as you open the forgotten notebook laying in front of you. “you need to get better at making them, hyuckie.” you tease, dangling your feet happily.

“yeah… maybe i should.” his reply is muffled, but you pay not much heed to it, now immersing yourself in your studies once more. perhaps that’s exactly why you don’t notice the gloom washing over him, your sun glowing a little less brightly in its solar system.

[f0point5]

The double standards in stans reactions to the wolffs doing something versus anybody else in this fandom is something else. The stans use everything and anything to discredit their behateds moral character but when it's their beloved wollfs they pretend not to see it. Toto cheated on his wife the mother of his older kids with Susie his employee at the time can this fandom as whole not hold them as the unproblematic power couple. Toto is known to have had as ignorant takes as Marko but because of the gokarts in the rain comment on dts Toto is the Saint that would've saved max in their eyes as if toto isn't buddies with jos irl for years

I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS TOTO LORE?!

Am I shocked? Um no because he’s a good looking billionaire can be real for a sec here 😂 but we clearly don’t talk about this bit of lore enough because…tell me more.

Yeah, like if you look at the people Toto is known to be friendly with…it tells a story. And no shade to him, you don’t have to agree with someone’s every action to be friends with them, and you don’t have to apologise for being friends with someone anyway. But. It’s a little hilarious that you want to get high and mighty about “issues” when you have been friends with vilified personality Jos Verstappen, and (even jokingly) offer to have Helmut Marko on board in the team when you have been preaching about diversity for the last decade. My guy, be so real with me right now. It’s okay to be who you are, you just have to be honest about it.

Side note, people do overcook the rivalries between these people. At the end of the day, these guys are all friends/friendly. They live in a Petri dish and they share passions/interests, why would they not be friends? Also, let’s not forget that crowd favourite Nikki Lauda was besties with Helmut, too. The whole “guilty by association” thing is such a stupid game to play in F1 because they are ALL associated at management level.

Lol Toto is the Francis of Assisi of F1, patron Saint of the downtrodden and dispossessed. His rehab centre for washed up drivers will never not be funny to me. I low-key find his adoption of driver creepy but that’s a topic for a different ask lol.

We all know I get the ick from Toto and Susie, they’re just not a bit of me. There’s a bit of self righteousness there that is just so…not for me.

I am not in the least surprised that her statement has been well received. She is indeed well liked. That being said, I do think that on top of the RB stuff and the Sulayem investigation, any statement of this nature would be well received right now. People are baying for “transparency”, whatever that means. So I don’t think she’s receiving unusual/heightened support for this particularly.

But in general, I agree that those two could get away with murder.

[lestappenforever]

A bit if a rant, but bear with me, I’ve been in this brain rot since seeing RBR’s threads and i just wanna get it out. (Yes i am the same person who hopes that Christian and RBR are so cold in DTS and this is the reason why i believe that there might actually be something going on, slowly brewing and simmering in low heat till it fucking explodes in *hopefully* Ferrari’s face) (if you couldn’t guess, I’m an RBR girl through and through)

Now lets start it from after Singapore, it was the very first time RBR posted Charles and Max, and let’s all be real for a moment, I personally don’t think that there was much to it, I mean, they’ve posted Lando, Fernando, Esteban, Pierre, etc. Its not that weird that they did that. That same weekend, Ferrari fucked up Charles and prioritized Carlos, despite the fact that both had a chance at a podium, but Ferrari (as Geogre said in that heartbreaking radio for any Charles fan) sacrificed Charles for Carlos. And then Fred saying that Charles agreed?! Let’s all just look back at something very slight, Charles is a petty king, he wants to win, he’s hungry, doesn’t want to be second, EVERYTHING that he’s done since karting proves that, but what Ferrari and Fred said that weekend didn’t make much sense. Yes, this weekend was not detrimental for the whole Charles to Red Bull agenda, but it might have been the start to it all.

Fast forward to the triple header, as Japan and Qatar didn’t have much, of course other than padel, but in terms if teams, controversies and fuck ups from Ferrari, there weren’t much.

Austin was the start to it all, the way RBR posted Lestappen VERY CLEARLY on their socials, shows that there’s something brewing, but not by much, its just, yeah 2 generational talents who have fought each other forever in their racing careers, doung it again, etc. But that wasn’t the only case. Red Bull have posted them both together, but so did Christian, and Horner ain’t one to be taken lightly. Everything this man does is fucking calculated, he’s chaotic, but in a way that I don’t think anyone can be, he knows how to play, and play he does. After the USGP with Ferrari’s most famous fuck ups of the floor infringement and putting Charles ONLY on a one stop, where the weather was EXTREMELY HOT on track, and all that with the lame excuse of “oh he’s better at tyre management” despite being on pole, shows something, Ferrari is NOT being a seriou team with Charles, because they then went ahead and were celebrating Carlos’ podium as if their other driver didn’t get disqualified.

On to Mexico, (aka the epitome of my delulus that RB are doing something in DTS in regards to Charles) we have the crazy pole that Charles pulled, as well as his data and onboards being shown along Max and Checo, there were no other drivers who were on that pit wall. We also have the part prior to the GP, where we all saw Christian and Charles arriving at the paddock at suspiciously close (you could say almost together if you didn’t know any better) then waiting for him, by the entrance of the paddock, where he knows Netflix are there and the fans are there, for a seemingly innocent hello (NOT), as well as Christian defending Charles, who had an accident with HIS DRIVER AT HIS HOME GP. You don’t see that, in a normal situation, Charles would be blamed for Checo’s DNF by Checo’s TP.

Onto Brazil, the final major fuck up by Ferrari, which cost a hungry Charles a battle with Max, and a chance at a win, simply because Ferrari decided againts changing the engine, which then fucks up the hydraulics, causing Charles a DNS. In addition to, again, Only his data is along side the RB boys. During this weekend, you could feel the shift in Charles, like he couldn’t take it anymore, he’s done being the scapegoat, the rag that Ferrari could do anything they want as he’s their Il Predesinato, he’s HUNGRY, he wants to win, and Ferrari simply for the last 5 years were unable to provide him with what he wants.

That’s how it was in Vegas and Abu Dhabi, Charles fought, he fought hard, and you might even feel like he’s hell-bent on getting these podiums, to show Ferrari how much they fuck him up during races, and what he’s capable of when they don’t.

All of that while both RBR and the official F1 accounts are pushing the Lestappen agneda, posts, Max’s statements that are kind of throwing shade at Ferrari, mentioning that he would mind anyone (while blatantly pointing at Charles) to be his teammate if checo were to leave by the end of the 2024 season, the RBR garage and team being friendly with Charles a bit too often. And then the most recent posts of putting Charles on the RBR Christmas tree, while Yuki, who is closely more related to RBR isn’t, and the most recent thread of “claiming” Charles,

RBR, Horner and even Marko are not stupid, they know how to stir a pot, how to cause chaos and drama, how to be cold, how to be that young team that could seem innocent, approachable, intriguing, in order to get what they want, how they want it and When they want it. And the fact that we know nothing of the new season of DTS, Ferrari just posting shit trying to distract from the fact that they haven’t announced Charles renewing, and they way the talk has died down about it, in addition to trying to distract from the RBR Lestappen saga on all socials that is happening rn, shows that there could be something, something thing, detrimental, vold as fuck and chaotic as fuck. Another thing that I have forgotten to mention is the whole Twitter saga that happened because of Will Buxton and Albert Fabrega around the time of the Triple header shows that there is Chaos that’s going to be unleashed, could be in DTS. And what’s Chaos with the Agents of Chaos?

(I’m extremely sorry for how fucking long this is, i just let my mind do the talking and didn’t realise how long i wrote until i was done 🤪)

I'm not even going to add anything to this, my lovely anon, because this ask deserves to shine on its own.

I love your beautiful mind, anon. Please come share your brainrots with me at any time. ❤️

[inklore]

I saw you post about how people should like to comment on writers work but I slightly sympathise bc some people are embarrassed and/or think that their comment/reblog would be useless. But more people are coming to this app to read a fic like another wattpad or an ‘easier’ ao3 instead of using their acc to post what they like yk

Srry for the rant <333

no need to apologize for the rant it’s always welcome here if it’s done in kind and yours was <3

i get what your saying about people coming to the app thinking it’s like all the other reading platforms but if we’re being honest i’d say ao3 is easier, better selection, plus when someone views your work your ‘hits’ go up and that can sometimes help more people find your work if they go by that / sort the fics on ao3 like that. wattpad literally has the same system of ‘views’ on your work that help boost it, but also commenting there is really big (as someone who was once on wp comments meant everything which is why i don’t get how ppl don’t understand that comments are everything here as well).

you could also say these other platforms make it seem like tumblr works the same way and it doesn’t, but even when writers try to spread the word on that fact not everyone wants to listen or sees it because people don’t rb (which tumblr was made for that let’s not forget).

but on this great app it doesn’t matter how many people view our work, read it silently, press the little heart, no one will see it unless you rb it. and being shy about commenting and thinking comments won’t matter is backwards thinking to me. how do you think writers feel knowing they have 100 notes and 10 of them are rbs and 0 comments? like we know there’s people out there reading our work and not even giving the pointless heart to it and there’s not much we can do about it, and yeah we are so grateful for all of it, but what we wouldn’t give to even have ONE PERSON comment some emojis on our fic. let us know that someone other than ourselves actually liked it. a ‘like’ can mean anything, it can mean nothing. it does nothing. it’s nice, it’s acknowledging, but that’s all it does. it’s a silent compliment that keeps our minds wondering.

if you weren’t embarrassed to read the fic you shouldn’t be embarrassed to comment on it. i’m not trying to sound harsh but it’s 2023, half the population reads fic. devours it. ppl are famous authors because of it now or get ‘tiktok fame’ over liking it. you commenting ‘omg amazing’ or putting two little emojis in a writers comments is only going to make them feel seen. feel great. feel like they’re not just posting stuff on here for bots. so i don’t super sympathize with people who are embarrassed because i just can’t wrap my head around it. but i’m also saying it’s okay and i’ve never once saw a writer get mad over anything someone has commented on their work (unless it’s been mean or a criticism they didn’t ask for or a ‘part two pls’).

if you like something on here reblog it!!!! comment on it!!!!!

[completely-real-and-normal-human]

Why I, Tumblr User Completely-Real-And-Normal-Human, Am a Monsterfucker: A Non-Exhaustive Manifesto

I’m not even sorry.

First of all: Micheal Distortion, from TMA. Fuck-Hands Mc Mike. Mikey-What-Those-Fingers-Do. He of the gaping corridors, and hopefully gaping holes. What on earth is he doing behind all those closed doors? Or, as the case may be, who is he doing?

the answer is me it’s me he’s fucking me

(Art by CountSlimula on Twitter)

I don’t really think I need to explain myself here. But in case I do, there are two main things I find remarkably attractive about Micheal (that I can adequately articulate): its voice and its hands.

Let’s start with his voice. Micheal’s voice is static-y and warping and always slightly amused. Now THAT is the kind of voice I’d want whispering sweet nothings in my ear. And that’s without even mentioning his laugh — god, can you even IMAGINE what his moans would sound like? Perfection.

Then there’s his hands. You can’t really see it in the first picture, so here’s another one.

(Art by Creativelea2 on Twitter)

He has fingers. I have holes. Enough said, I think.

Next, also a character from TMA, we have one Jared Hopworth. The Bone-Turner. Maker of Menacingly Meaty Murmurs. A man who owns, in all likelihood, a briefcase of carefully selected cocks.

(Art by @neonjawbone)

I’m sure it comes as a surprise to no one that I thoroughly enjoy a good pair of pecs. Jared probably has more than one pair, actually, so that’s several plus points right there. Here, finally, is a man who does body-building right.

As with Micheal, there is also the question of his voice. It’s deep, rumbling, gravelly… the kind of thing I want to hear when he’s busy splitting me in half, you know?

Finally, there’s the multiple limbs. He’d know what to do with all those hands, I’m sure. They’d hardly be lying idle.

Onwards! This time it’s Yaretzi, from Hello From The Hallowoods. Starwolf. Covenant of Tolshetol Who Guards A Thousand Suns. Loving coparent of a large metal son.

(Art by @cotton-glass)

She’s a werewolf, which maybe puts her more into ‘furry’ territory rather than ‘monsterfucker’, but we ball.

Firstly, while Yaretzi is an undeniably sweet person, she’s also fairly terrifying. And ‘women who could kill me’ are fairly high on my list of attractions. Secondly, her voice (again, I know, but most of the media I consume are podcasts so deal, I guess). It’s just the right shade of deep and soft. Amazing.

Also I want her to bite me.

There are more examples, but we’ll be here forever if I try listing them, so I’ll leave it there. I could go into detail about the deeper meaning behind my attraction to these beautiful beasties, but I’m going to see how the masses respond to this first. Besides, this has been in my drafts for entirely too long and I just want to post it at this stage.

(Shoutout to @zombieesc. Thanks for the monsterfucker hype, my friend.)

Edit: I’m a minor, so feel free to rb this post talking about how much you like any of the characters I’ve mentioned, but keep it reasonably PG.

[blorbocedes]

perhaps this is me being shallow and i’m not trying to insinuate that every driver on the grid has to be gunning for a wdc but i don’t understand why anyone would turn down a rb contract at this stage? i mean if the rumours about alex refusing the seat are true i just… idk i know he’s been personally victimised by helmut marko before and been through the rb ringer but he’s a much better much more skilled and experienced driver right now and if it were me i’d personally want to test my skills against max. rb is the most coveted seat right now, it’s an opportunity to get regular podiums and even wins if max messes up or you’re simply faster. i don’t enjoy this “running from a fight” mentality (not saying that’s what alex is doing rn cause ofc there are other things at play) and it is in fact one of the reasons ****** sorta fell out of my favour. anyway i hope this makes sense haha not a native speaker, and not trying to be rude i just… don’t get it. i had similar thoughts about lando before, when horner said they’d talk to lando and then he’d only use that as leverage in his mclaren contracts. but baffling to me to come all the way to f1 after dedicating your life to it and then just going “nah” when you have the chance to be in the best car cause the other might be better than you. i mean when max got to rb daniel was the guy who had just pulverised 4-time wdc vettel, and you didn’t see him hesitte to jump in the car mid-season

when you sign a redbull contract now, you know you're effectively going to play second driver until 2028. yes Alex is a more complete driver now and would prob fare much better vs Max now, but he's also been through the RBR ringer like you said. going back would mean adjusting to an entirely new car while Max has only driven redbulls, AND getting scrutinised 2x because of his prev performance. anything below p2 is considered underperforming in the best car, and that's a lot of pressure and ofc your ego having to handle being "Max's bitch." pulling a rosberg against a generational talent is not easy. at Williams alex is personally more involved and treated as team leader and the car has improved from being the worst back marker to a solid midfielder, with Alex outdriving it.

also. job security in f1 is notoriously limited with 20 seats and rookies from f2 vying to get in. let's say alex goes to RBR. he either has to hope they let him drive until 2028 and finally get a shot at the championship (if 2026 regulations don't turn it into a junk box) and no second driver is getting a 5 year contract. Valtteri went from the best car to a backmark/midfielder. He's not even in question when silly season rolls around for the Ferraris and Bulls, despite being a solid second driver who picked off wins when Lewis dnf'd. they might scout him for Audi because they need an experienced driver for development. your career moving from the best car can only go Down. Alex already had a year off from f1 as a reserve driver when RB booted him, whatever choices he makes -- it'll be with a long term goal in mind.

Alex has said recently that if the Williams doesn't improve, he will look at other options -- as he should! He's being scouted by multiple teams. The improvements of the Aston Martin and even Mclaren have shown absolute backmarkers can become podium contending cars within a season! you'd prefer to succeed with a team that knows you and will accommodate to you than a top team where you're expected to play someone else's defense. Which brings me to lando. Lando is in the curious case Max was in 2017/18, where all the top teams were courting him. He had offers from Ferrari and Merc, while nobody knew if the RB Honda deal would work, and the RB was DNFing every other race. redbull convinced max to stay, that they'll develop the car around him and they will become a top team. I'm sure mclaren is doing the same to lando, that's the only team he's driven for and he's getting paid Very Well, the team principal is literally invested in his business, and they started this season around p19/p20, and finished it on podium. the results are there, why would he move to rbr to pick off max's crumbs?

do you know who absolutely did run from a fight? daniel. bc RB had no outright driver hierarchy in 2018, they literally stated they wanted to win a championship with daniel -- but max was too much of a rising star and daniel dipped, leaving the only team his career had anything notable from.

[rainbowsky]

1) While avoiding posting kadian makes sense, a bad photoshop like this only brings negative attention. 2) The number 2 is clearly visible on one picture, the number 3 on two pictures. If they don’t want turtles to clown, why not at least remove the number 3 completely? 3) It’s possible that it's just a demand from the brand (the jacket is a very limited edition and is on sale at the moment, and i don't think the one yibo is wearing was gifted to him so the visible serial nb might be a problem)

Sorry, I somehow got this backwards, here's the first part of your ask:

Anonymous asked: Hey rbs, I absolutely love your blog! This is not really an ask but more like something I’d like to share anonymously: I think a lot of turtles are overreacting about the 32/33 thing. Unless it happens multiple times, it’s impossible to know if the editing was made to remove possible kadian. A few things I'd like to point out:

First of all, thanks for your kind words, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

I don't normally reply to these kinds of asks because they're not asks. My inbox is for questions, not a place where people can anonymously post things on my blog that they don't want to post on their own blogs. Everyone has the ability to post their own opinions on their own blogs, and if they're just wanting to reply to a post I've made, they can do so in the comments. It's not necessary to be anonymous just to share a few ideas like this.

However, in this case I just disagree with this take and feel the need to point out why.

First and foremost, no, turtles are not overreacting. YBO has always felt like an ally up to this point, and this definitely looks conspicuously like an attempt to get rid of candy. Such a thing hasn't happened before, so of course turtles are going to be pissed off/worried.

As for the points you made:

The bad photoshopping did bring negative attention, for sure. Just because it was a controversial move by YBO, doesn't mean their motive for doing it wasn't about candy. And anyway, if turtles are right and DD's team is caving to solo demands, all that negative attention from turtles would only serve to publicize to the solos that YBO is doing what solos have asked.

The fact that they didn't seem to discriminate about which numbers to edit out only proves their intent was to eliminate the candy. The number 2 alone isn't that meaningful. The number 3 alone is a bit more meaningful, but not a big deal. The numbers 2 and 3 together are a candy.

It has absolutely nothing to do with the brand wanting the number hidden. All the video and photos from other representatives at the event clearly show the number. If the brand didn't want to associate the number with DD they wouldn't have let him wear the jacket. And it makes no sense for them to be against DD being seen with the number, because his association with it would only make the jacket more valuable in people's eyes.

Of course this is just my opinion.

You're entitled to your own opinion and perspective, but I hope you'll be sensitive to the fact that turtles are hurting right now, and not rub salt in their wounds by downplaying the validity of their feelings. There are plenty of times when turtles overreact to things. It's happened a lot in the past. But you might want to read the room a bit, my friend. Given the removal of CQL from his profile and then the editing of these photos, I think it's very fair to say that this situation is unprecedented in the fandom, and fans are right to be concerned.

Having said that - it's not a time to panic. Panic won't help anything. I've got another post coming about that in a minute so I'll link that here once it's posted.

EDIT:

OK, first of all, here's the link to my post about not panicking.

Second, I think people are taking this post about photoshopping as evidence of YBO being nasty or harming DD. Please don't interpret it that way. As I said in the notes for this post, it's probably more of a good cop/bad cop thing, where DD is still being his normal self and choosing his kadian numbers and showing his candies, while YBO is giving him cover and appeasing solos.

It's entirely possible they're providing cover for DD to his solos, while working with him to show that the candy is being hidden. Maybe the crudeness of the photoshopping was intentional, an act of defiance to draw attention to the removal of the kadian while still providing plausible deniability for solos. We just don't know, so let's give them the benefit of the doubt.

It's likely that YBO are in between a rock and a hard place as well. It's possible DD and YBO are trying to work together to thread the needle between keeping turtles happy and keeping solos happy. Let's not demonize his team. That wasn't my intention here.