#i mean we have dreams by day and sick day arc as proof of that right

[meymeycita]

headcanon: deacon refuses to read the cruel prince bc he saw fanarts of cardan greenbriar and they reminded him of buddy

[cdroloisms]

more of the ghost!dream au!! still no good names for it, sorry (feel free to give me recs? maybe?) - picking off right where we left off here [x]. i’ve gotten quite a bit of this pre-written already as well as quite a bit planned - it’s definitely one of my favorite universes at the minute and something im really excited to show yall !! 

tw: death, memory loss (?), grief, unhealthy coping mechanisms, unhealthy relationship, grief, emotional distress, implied torture/abuse, aftermath of prison arc/pandora’s vault, dark(ish?) portrayal of c!sam (he’s one of the main figures of this au lmao but it grapples quite a bit w/ what he did in pandora)

Sam had only met Ghostbur once.

He never knew the former president well, had been busy with his own base during the Revolution and came back to the server in chaos after an ill-fated election and the man exiled. It hadn’t mattered, much, at the time; Wilbur was an imposing man, even in others’ recollections of him, and their words left very very little to the imagination. From what he knew, Wilbur was a smart man, cunning and silver-tongued, brimming with an unending fountain of belief that he could change the world with his words and his words alone; the server, overrun with memories of scuffles and battles and wars and countries Sam had not been around to remember, only seemed to serve as proof that he could. The few glimpses of the man that he managed to catch showed dark, tired eyes, a figure that stood almost as tall as he did, lips twisted in a perpetual tight-lipped smile.

Even as he spiraled, unexplainably, whispers of madness chasing the wind and landing in choppy fragments in the Badlands meetings held over Skeppy and Bad’s dinner table, those eyes never became less piercing, never failed to seem like they were burning through whatever and whoever they looked at. Sam hadn’t been the subject of that stare many times, but he remembers the bone-deep anxiety from having those eyes on him, even now.

Ghostbur, somehow, was the complete opposite; where his eyes had once been all-too knowing, belying their owners’ intelligence, a ruthless penchant for analysis that would split bone from marrow with a single sharp-edged glance, the phantom’s eyes were completely vacant. Instead of the glossy whites and rings of brown that would flicker warm to cool and warm again without warning, there was only an empty, all-encompassing blue.

He had floated over to Sam following a particularly difficult- session, with the prisoner, greeting him with an airy call of his name as Sam set off to his base for the night. He’d startled, then, still fresh off the adrenaline that was sent coursing through his veins each time he entered those blackstone walls, and started a sort of easy, unfocused conversation as they went along the path to the nether portal.

Ghostbur was - off, for the lack of a better word, even with Sam’s lack of familiarity of either side of the man - who he’d been before and what he’d become. His memories slipped through his mind like water seeping through fingers, and his attention span didn’t seem much better. Still, Sam listened to that echoing, otherworldly voice, nodded along as he eagerly recounted his day - or what he could recall from it, at least, until his feet had brought him along the same well-worn path to the nether portal, spitting purple sparks into the night.

“I’ll have to be going, Ghostbur,” he’d said through a thin smile, muscles aching under netherite as he pulled his shoulders back. The ghost’s head had cocked to the side, watching him with empty eyes, hands outstretched in front of him, palms up.

“Sam-” the ghost blinked slowly, “Are you sad?”

Sam froze. Ghostbur stared at him, face still kept in that same blank expression, eyes still an endless blanket of blue, but something - in his stance, perhaps, in the echoes of his words as they reverberated off of nothing, felt familiar, felt like looking up expecting a window and coming face to face with a shattered mirror - before the phantom’s face broke out in a weightless smile.

“Have some blue!”

The blue was dropped unceremoniously into his hands as he fumbled the catch and nearly let it fall to the ground; the clear, glassy surface of it tainted blue by his fingertips, the color swirling and darkening in his hands. He watched it, mesmerized, as blossoms of blue bloomed beneath his skin; his feelings, sharp-edged, became sea glass tossed in its shifting waves, smoothed, numbed, slowly sucked away in a pulsing chorus of blue blue blue-

“That’s quite a lot of blue,” Ghostbur chirped, and Sam blinked at the thing in his hands - navy, the same color as the sky above their heads clinging to the last remnants of twilight - “Would you like some more?”

“...no thanks, Ghostbur,” Sam looked back up, feeling through the new, blue-tinged fog in his brain, memories blurred at the edges but lacking the same burning sting of regret, “Good night.”

“Good night, Sam!” Wilbur smiled, blank blue eyes trained on his face even as Sam stepped into the portal and the world swirled away. “See you soon!”

---

“Sammy,” Dream walked - no, floated, forwards as Sam took a step back, unresponsive, “is there something wrong?”

Sam swallowed, mouth suddenly dry.

He was a spitting image to Dream as he first knew him; the same tousled hair, freckled face, down to the ratty old jacket that he’d insisted on wearing at all times, made of a garish shade of lime-green and covered in customized patches that Bad - unable to resist his puppy eyes - had always ended up fixing the thing with. He had a gap in his teeth that had left him with a lisp for weeks back then, prompting Sapnap’s teasing much to Dream’s annoyance; his head tipped to the side, curious, familiar, and something deep inside Sam’s chest ached.

“Dream-” he tried, chest tightening further when the ghost’s face broke out into a brilliant smile, “why are you here?”

Why do you remember me?

He hadn’t talked to Ghostbur much, but he’d heard, to some degree, about how the ghost operated, how his memories were inconsistent at best, seemingly dependent on the emotions he’d attached to them while alive. How he went through the world in a state of unshakable bliss at the cost of his mind. Dream’s memories of him should’ve been anything but happy; why was he here?

“What do you mean?” Dream blinked at him, eyebrows scrunched, lips set in a small frown. His eyes, black and vacant, seemed to swallow all light, even with the sun streaming through the branches. “Where am I suppos’d to go?”

“Don’t you want to be with George and Sapnap?”

Dream’s face was blank, and the pit in Sam’s gut grew deeper. “Who’s that?”

“George?” Sam could feel his voice begin to tremble, eyes widening. “Sapnap? You know them, right?”

“No?” Dream drew out the word, looking at him like he’d grown another head. “Should I know them?”

“Should you- Dream, this isn’t funny- they’re your best friends! They were your best friends- Pandas? Do you know Pandas?”

“You mean like in the jungles? I haven’t been in a jungle before, Sam, d’you think we could visit one?”

“No- Pandas, do you-” Dream only looked at him with the same confused, uncomprehending expression, not even a flicker of recognition in his face; Sam could hear his heart thudding in his ears, a distant horror growing and wrapping around his throat, “How about Ponk? Alyssa? Calla? Bad?”

Each name did nothing to change the blankness on Dream’s face, the screaming thoughts in Sam’s head growing to a fever pitch when the ghost in front of him shook his head, hair whipping back and forth.

“Nope!” His hands tugged at his hoodie sleeves, the movement familiar in a way that had echoes of long-forgotten memories drifting to the surface, holding his heart in a chokehold and squeezing tight. “Are they your friends?”

“Dream,” he stepped forward - felt a shadow of a pickaxe held in his fists, the shape of the name in his mouth bringing forth the taste of iron and smoke and painting the inside of his eyelids red - and stopped in his tracks. The images melted away, left just a kid standing in front of him, rocking back and forth on nothing, and Sam was going to be sick.

“Who do you remember?”

Dream smiled as the question registered, directing a look of such open, unadulterated adoration his way that it stole all of the air from Sam’s lungs.

“You, dummy!” He laughed, airy and light. “Who else?”

---

He brought him to his base, because what else was he supposed to do?

Dream skipped behind him, entirely enamoured with Fran; he watched as she melted under his enthusiastic scratches at the tufts of fur at her neck. He’d always been a soft touch with animals, had brought home stray mobs more than a few times as a kid; Sam swallowed around his unease and trudged forward.

“Puppy!” He nearly screeched with laughter, and Sam looked back to see Dream with his arms wrapped around Fran’s neck, face buried in her fur as giggles made his shoulders shake. Fran gave him a sloppy lick on the cheek, making him break out into a new round of high-pitched wheezes, “Good girl! Good puppy!”

“Hurry up, Dream,” Sam turned away. “We don’t have all day.”

“Oh- m’sorry,” Dream’s voice quieted, almost seemed to wobble, and Sam bit down on his tongue as they continued to walk back. He- didn’t know what to do, not with this version of Dream, not the little kid he’d half-forgotten instead of the masked monster he’d become so accustomed to. It was so much easier to slip into the mask, let his voice drop cold and deep and empty, the role of the Warden heavy and comfortable like a set of netherite armor. He pointedly kept his eyes staring forward, looking for the edge of the forest they’d ended up stuck in so he could finally see.

A sudden, yipping bark came from behind, thoroughly startling him and sending a sword appearing in a flash of white. He huffed at Fran, looking at him with faux innocent eyes, really?

Unfortunately, both she and Dream had somehow fallen ridiculously behind, the ghost having lowered to the ground at some point as Fran sat and wagged her tail. He rolled his eyes, making his way back towards the duo, feeling irritation press in the form of a headache against the front of his skull.

“Come on,” he muttered, wincing at how clipped his words sounded, even in his own ears. Not the same Dream, Sam. You’re not in the prison anymore. He shoved his hands into his pockets, eyes narrowing as he came closer; Dream hadn’t just stopped because of some distraction, as he first assumed. The kid was leaning against Fran, hands twisted loosely in her fur, head tipped forward and leaning against her body.

“Dream?”

The ghost looked up at his voice, one hand going to rub at his eye. His hair seemed to be moving around less than earlier, lips twisted in a small frown.

“M’sleepy, Sammy,” he mumbled around a yawn, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. He reached both hands up, palms facing the sky, as he stared expectantly. “Up.”

Aren’t you a little big to be carried? The retort came to mind as easily as breathing, echoed in his own head by his own voice, younger, exasperated but fond. His arms shook with the memory of a kid wrapping his arms around his neck and fumbling with his crown, with the feeling of a dead weight resting against the crook of his elbows, tall and lanky and far too light for its size, held in his arms one final time-

“Please?”

Sam shook his head.

“We’re walking to my base. Come on.”

[seyaryminamoto]

What is something Sokka only ever did and does with and for Azula? I'm not talking about his love but an act. The hairdoing question was because I like the first time he does Azulas hair lots It is a particular thing and the imagination him only doing Azulas hair is individual. I did not ask because of jealousy rather of particularity. I can't find anything he only did does for with Azula

... Right. So, in about 200 chapters worth of story, you haven’t seen anything Sokka has exclusively done for Azula? I... do advise you read more closely. But if you don’t want to...

Represents her as her personal fighter, at first because of their deal, after their relationship blooms he does it because he’s 100% devoted to her in every way that counts. To him, their bond is one of a kind and he does his best to grow stronger so he can continue to fight with and for her, so she may be granted all the respect she deserves. He outright rejects being sponsored by anyone but her, and even when they had no choice but to have Zuko sponsoring him (chapter 56), Sokka said it wasn’t the same because he wanted HER. So her role as her sponsor is one of a kind for him, and he absolutely would never have that kind of bond with anyone else.

Protects her with his body whenever they’re falling off places, something Azula has remarked on more than once. He takes the worst of the impact every time, shielding her however he can. To this day, I’m pretty sure he hasn’t done that with anyone else? (chapter 38, chapter 77).

He opened up to her when he was troubled (chapter 50), sharing some of his innermost turmoil and suffering, letting her help him when he usually would rather not burden anyone else with what plagues him. Further proof of how deeply he trusts her, enough to start putting aside his bad habit of bottling up his troubles for her.

Refused an opportunity to go home AND reconnect with the first person he truly felt comfortable with in the FIre Nation (Piandao), choosing to stay by Azula’s side instead and protect her from people who would most likely harm her (chapter 54).

Nearly killed two gladiators whose sponsors were attempting to marry Azula against her will (chapter 70, chapter 169).

Put aside every shred of his dignity and accepted all punishments Azula forced on him, enduring everything because he thought he deserved it for wronging her (the ENTIRE Rough Rhinos arc).

Gave her the better portions of food during their accidental trip through the forest (again, Rough Rhinos arc) AND saves food for her (chapter 124), meaning, prioritizing her needs over his own. We all KNOW how much Sokka loves food, Azula more than anyone, and the implications of him not eating so she could have more were pretty clear regarding how much she means to him, as far as I can tell.

Cooked for her, sometimes to catastrophic results, but he still tried :’D (chapter 131, chapter 151 to a fault).

Writes haiku for her, and it’s SPECIFICALLY STATED that he only manages to complete proper poems whenever he’s writing about her, as everything else he writes he leaves incomplete or adds too many syllables (chapter 38, chapter 104).

Controls his strongest impulses very often when it comes to physical affection throughout Part 1 (namely in Ember Island and Giving In arcs), always privileging her needs above his own. He’s willing to stop before outright penetrative sex in chapter 97, for Azula’s benefit, and only goes for it when she directly asks him to. Her comfort and happiness are the priority, not his own.

Embarrasses himself willingly just to make her laugh (I’m sure there are many possible examples of this, but right now I can’t find them, but I found one instance of it in chapter 130, at least).

Challenged a nobleman (Kuan) for behaving disrespectfully towards Azula, by dismissing her interests and choices, yet Sokka restrained himself when Azula demanded it of him (chapter 36) and accepted the punishment Kuan forced on him without further protest or causing any more trouble for Azula.

Looked after her when she was sick, no matter if she was really mad at him at the time (White Lotus Attack arc).

Cheered her up after the first ball in the Festivals, after listening to her personal plight with Admiral Zhao (chapter 94)

Offered to teach basic swordsmanship to a kid so that the kid’s father would be on good terms with Azula, helping her craft stronger political allies (chapter 133).

Defends Azula constantly before anyone who may try to undermine or insult her (outright punched Zuko for saying thoughtless things about his sister in chapter 64, lashed out at Iroh for talking shit about her in chapter 95, attacked Rhone as soon as he spoke against Azula in 114 and threatened him in 160).

Comforts her often whenever she’s troubled, especially in matters pertaining her parents and the unpleasant strife they’ve caused her, both in the past and in current times (Ember Island arc, The Fire Nation Festivals arc, The Fire Lord’s Shadow arc). He’s also not judgmental, doesn’t tell her what to think, he mainly listens and helps her deal with her conflicted feelings.

Gladly agrees to change their original deal so he can stay with Azula for good instead of returning to his family, as he intended (chapter 107, Whaletail Island arc).

CRAFTED A BETROTHAL NECKLACE FOR HER??? :’) (chapter 131)

MARRIED HER. TWICE (Return to Shu Jing arc). I mean... really. The very logic of marriage says it’s something absolutely special you don’t do with just ANYONE? And they certainly live by that logic, completely. That something so obviously unique to his relationship with her happened so recently and yet you still sent this ask is... weird to me. Very weird.

In a slightly more intimate note: Sokka has never slept through the night with anyone but Azula. He has never woken up with someone beside him other than Azula. She’s literally the only one he’s ever done that with, and the only one he ever wants to do it with. Started in chapter 64, has happened many, many times since.

Endeavors to become a better painter because she inspired him to keep trying. They’ll start making collaborative art together starting in chapter 201 :’) and in 221 they will make a veeeery special artwork that’s basically their masterpiece.

Climbed a volcano to find a flower to give to her as a token of everlasting love? (chapter 125) :’D 

Nearly died at the hands of Jeong Jeong’s schemes all be it to stay loyal to Azula (also chapter 125).

Got her a Fire Lily in the Festivals, something no one else had ever done for her, cultural connotations of it demand I single this out because it’s a big deal in the Fire Nation, he’s never done that for anyone else and never will (chapter 146).

Constantly asks for her lychee wine, her favorite drink, whenever they go places. The fact that Azula’s heart seems to grow twenty sizes every time he goes out of his way to find her perfect drink should be pretty telling...?

Overworked himself to make her dragon’s perfect armor as a birthday gift for her (Azula’s birthday arc), then still managed to win a fight for her sake despite his body was in bad shape.

Told her being without her feels like sleepwalking through life, waiting until she’s around again so he can wake up and feel like himself once more (chapter 86).

Offered his services and support in helping in the fulfillment Azula’s dream of offering women in the Fire Nation bigger opportunities and roles to make a difference in the world, by training the Enforcers in swordsmanship (Whaletail Island arc).

Accompanied Azula throughout her investigation in The Fire Lord’s Shadow arc, offering her all the support he could in that endeavor, day and night if need be, no matter how dangerous things got he was always there with her.

Trusted Azula so much he allowed her to BEND THROUGH HIM :’) I can guarantee that there’s no way anyone else can do that with Sokka other than Azula.

Sneaks out of his house, or his cabin, to spend nights with her whenever they can afford to, seen all throughout Part 2.

Changed his entire worldview to understand hers, just as she changed hers to understand his. Developed genuine empathy with someone who should have been his enemy, and saw through her to understand her humanity, something NO ONE BUT HIM had done before, and something he’s certainly not willing to do for many people he started out hating, or that he hated at any point in time (literally seen all through the story).

So... 33 items not enough yet, I wonder? Then stick around. The last arcs of Part 2 pack more than a few punches and many unique Sokkla interactions and situations that MIGHT just serve for you to finally see that their bond is actually one of a kind? Despite I’m pretty sure the story that already has been published proves it completely already... but I guess you may have gone too long witthout reading it in full detail? Eh, whatever the reason may be, you can see for yourself there’s a ton of unique things Sokka and Azula have only done with each other.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 36-37: Local Mom-Friend’s Weird Trick, Doctors Hate Him

Hey y’all it’s a surprise midweek post because I’m in Canada this weekend woo. Surprised I even got this post done, TBH, I finally get some time where I’m not commuting around to and from San Francisco or corralling small children and I can just sit at my computer and focus and have some peace and quiet and I got--a mysterious sickness from all those kids! *yay* So, since I can’t really focus on anything, I’ll type in here and see if any of my words make any sense at all and hopefully I won’t go on some weird ass tangent like I tend to do like every other post.

So Yugi is still dueling Kaiba, much like he has for the past like...it feels like 4 years. I know I’ve only seen 3 seasons but this is...this is a really long duel. Maybe because there was a month-long break for me in the middle, (during which I watched the entirety of Evangelion, 2 Seasons of Gotham, Stranger Things S3, and the disappointing season of One Punch Man so like...I’ve had some time away from Yugioh) or maybe...maybe it’s because they’re actually playing card mechanics that go more in depth...

But yeah, despite everything, they’re still dueling.

And honestly, I’m looking at that episode number above me and it’s like...so there’s this Kaiba and Yugi Duel and then...only one more duel, right? Is it going to be a ten episode duel? Like unless Rebecca comes back for a weird cameo like...how...?

Whatever, we’ll get there when we get there.

Anyways, everyone who’s been avoiding this duel like the plague is down with the plague victims in the hospital. That’s where Tristan gets a bright idea and it’s one of his dumber ones, believe it or not.

Man, I forgot that comatose Joey Wheeler is still wearing that duel disk Pharaoh slapped on him during all this too, haha.

Also, why does he have to have all these pectoral suction cups while they just kinda...gave up on Mai? I mean I know they can’t show boobies on a Y7 show but like...it really feels like the doctor just kinda shrugged at Mai and was like “I only have one set of boob suction cups, I really didn’t think I’d need more than that, if at all.”

(read more under the cut)

And so Tristan decides that if Joey is at the window which is like...600 ft below Yugi Muto’s duel, a duel you can’t...really see from the ground...then Joey Wheeler will arise.

I mean, it’s gonna work, it’s just also kind of laughable that Joey wasn’t able to hear any of this nonsense from the bed that is two feet away from the window.

But wtv, it’s very dramatic and Tristan gets to cry some more and feel useful I guess.

The haunted underwear mannequin plot-thread was dumped between that episode and this one, and I’m kinda bummed out that more things haven’t turned into haunted underwear mannequins.

Instead of horrific underwear mannequins, Joey’s dream has gone back to the standard fare of Joey picking on middle schoolers and wearing a much better outfit than he has for most of this show.

I will super miss Joey in a fitted suit. Like, soak it allll in horny preteens, because pretty soon, Joey Wheeler will be back in that scruffy oversized T-shirt just like...well, just like how a teenager would be. I mean there’s some REASONS Mai can’t date Joey, but the fact he has a fitted suit he refuses to ever wear is one of the top reasons right under, youknow, the fact he’d need a fake ID to ever go out with her.

It’s kind of amazing actually, how my whole life I kinda just figured this was a show of insane character designs, only to find out when I actually watch the show that there is like a ... REALLY horny line just going all the way through it.

Honestly, me trying to figure out how and when this kid’s show got so damn horny has been a very big mystery I’ve been trying to solve in the background this entire time. Like, I was told “yeah the Yugioh boys get very attractive.” and I was like “ehhhhhhhh I don’t even know what you’re talking about” but, little by little over the past 3 seasons, these animators are starting to draw these boys just waaaaaaay older than these kids actually are. I’m starting to see what people are saying. It’s still not my thing, personally, but uh yeah I can see how this spawned all that fanart now.

Anyways, speaking of, the other day a friend of mine’s sister was talking about how she, as a millennial, has been wired to love very tall skinny boys in skinny pants and very long coats with popped collars and I immediately was like “Lol are you admitting to Seto Kaiba?”

And she meant Cumberbatch Sherlock, LOLOLOLOL.

And so, back on the duel field we got Seto Kaiba, who’s a lot like Sherlock except a Sherlock who is suffering from both short term and long term memory loss. And, who does cards instead of heroin.

They probably both play violin.

Kaiba, despite having arc after arc where his little brother is his main motivation, has decided to just ditch Mokuba and it’s like...either he’s psyching Yugi out or Seto Kaiba forgot he had a brother for a little bit. He might...he might have forgotten. Mokuba is standing behind him, after all.

And so, because Joey is facing Yugi at just the right moment and at just the right time, somehow he can do his little force ability again and just do this:

Thanks, hallucination!Joey.

And out he goes, drawn like a romance anime character lol.

Anyways, he’s back to being a slob so...welcome back, wrinkle shirt, it’s been a while.

And then Joey looks around and actually said this:

“Did someone get hurt?” He asks, after being burned, electrocuted AND drowned just yesterday.

I was kinda very much hoping Tristan would deck him out.

Glad that, as predicted, the moment Mai doesn’t need to be Joey’s main motivation anymore, the moment he puts the cards away, she may as well not even exist. This show and the way they write straight romances.

Please admire the matching lace up boots on the Kaiba Corp’s Emergency Squad. This would be the most obscure Cosplay on earth but maybe the most wearable Yugioh cosplay outside of Bandit Keith because you wouldn’t need a 400 dollar wig.

And then for some reason Tea just loses her mind and has a complete breakdown. She’s been kind of a mess since Yugi walked out like 2 episodes ago, which seems kind of...I dunno, both out of character but very much in character at the same time. I mean we’re assuming they “have” a relationship it’s just never actually say that they do, so her acting like her man is dead is kinda like...it still feels like it comes out of freakin nowhere.

Anyways, Tea who is strong enough to lift this entire plane and who is, in fact, possessed by at least 2 powerful ghosts (remember Shadi did spends some time there and he did NOT like it), is now a seeping crying mess that refuses to lose any more of her hospital-prone boys.

I mean they were going to go anyway, but they let Tea pretend she had any control over that and kind of glazed over this.

Back in this game that no one else is really watching anymore, Seto Kaiba is still monologuing about his entire life story that he’s never gotten any therapy for, except for that time his evil step brother accidentally gave him therapy.

Quite upset we never see the color of Mokuba’s little tuxedo.

Course...didn’t...Noah wear a little tuxedo in that same exact shape? I mean it’s a silly headcanon but youknow...it could be a yellow tuxedo they just happened to find in the back of the closet.

And it’s at this point that Mokuba just lost his lid. I’m so used to Mokuba unconditionally supporting his crazy brother that this would have been the biggest anime betrayal of the whole series, if Mokuba had said any of this outloud (which he wisely did not).

It was like...damn Mokuba. He actually said something along the lines of “I liked you better when you were poor” and it was like. Holy cow, Mokuba. Damn.

Anyway, a bunch of card stuff happens, and Pharaoh has decided that Seto has too much anger in his heart, and that’s why he will lose. Then, Pharaoh played the card proof for how angry Seto is, and if I actually payed any attention to cards, it would have been very meaningful.

But anyways, kudos to Pharaoh on not mind-wiping Seto Kaiba this time or launching him directly off this very tall tower like he attempted to do last time. They actually played a game start to finish with eachother and nothing exploded except for every television in Domino. Progress.

and then Mokuba started crying and initially I thought...wouldn’t he have WANTED his brother to lose but then I kind of remembered oh yeah now Mokuba has to deal with this oncoming aftermath.

RIP Mokuba, I guess.

Anyway, I’m out of town for the rest of the weekend, escaping to the far North to get away from the weather. I should be back next weekend, but if I’m not, I was probably eaten by a bear. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to my Yugioh recaps in Chrono order from the beginning.

[kane-and-griffin]

This is so horrific kabby mom and I feel horrible for even thinking this but if Abby knew that it wouldn't work was that her tondc moment?

I don’t think that scene was about Abby knowing it wouldn’t work.  I think it was about Abby being genuinely hopeful, once they discovered that they had to remove that additive, that it would work; but once it was Clarke going on the table, Abby’s mama-bear protectiveness and the hallucination/vision she had made her terrified that something would happen to Clarke specifically.  Remember, she may possibly be experiencing some of the same brain issues that Raven is, where the vision is partially but not entirely accurate, so it’s a bit of a reach to say that she had any kind of concrete information either way.  She was already on edge and distraught enough about what they were doing that she couldn’t bring herself to do it to Emori, or even to watch Clarke do it; that combined with exhaustion, stress, worry, the visible reaction we could see her having to Murphy’s screams, the possibility of brain issues happening, that hallucination, and her absolute panic of something happening to her child caused her to snap. 

It is certainly true that everyone there pushed past their own ethical lines when they collectively agreed to test Not!Bayless; Raven was pretty harsh in her judgments, but didn’t offer an alternative solution, and she was very ready to sacrifice Grounders when it was a matter of rationed medicine a few episodes earlier, so what we’re seeing is that this new situation has all of them rattled and pretty freaked out.  And Luna, of course, disapproves, but she also didn’t stop them when it was Not!Bayless, only when it was Emori.  The episode begins with everyone kind of going around the circle and voting “yes” on Not!Bayless, so they proceed.  I think keeping in mind that this was a collective decision is important perspective.

Also, remember that Abby had that vision of Clarke before the idea of testing the Nightblood was ever on the table; so when we hear her process with Kane all the moral questions of what she’s doing, with full knowledge of the complexity of it and the risks involved, the vision of Clarke has already happened.  That means I don’t think we’re meant to assume that she interprets that vision as proof that Nightblood won’t work.  With the Tondc bombs, Clarke and Lexa absolutely knew that people were going to die; they also believed that there genuinely was no other way to keep Bellamy safe and keep their plan from being discovered by Mt. Weather if they evacuated the town.  I think in a big-picture “few lives to save many” thematic way, you can perhaps link them, but the difference is hope vs. certainty.  Abby has tested this solution from every angle and is as sure as she can be that it will work, both times; there’s risk involved because there’s always risk involved with medical experimentation, which is why she’s so morally conflicted; but especially with Emori, once they’ve realized what went wrong with Not!Bayless, I think she’s as confident in her abilities as it’s possible to be.  And Clarke is too, which is why she tells Abby “I trust you.” 

So the thing that makes her snap isn’t “wait fuck Clarke called my bluff, all along there was a solid chance Emori was gonna die but now that it’s Clarke I can’t go through with it, better smash this shit up to selfishly save my child”; the thing that makes her snap is that the combination of radiation plus Clarke specifically is when it all clicks and she realizes, what if that wasn’t just a bad dream, what if she has the same brain thing Raven has, and what if this vision, like Raven’s, is at least partially true?  I think we’re watching that moment of realization happen right there, in front of us. 

I think it’s important to be careful of the language we use with the big sticky messy “Abby Griffin + medical ethics” stuff because I think there are some big important moral questions to dig into here that tie really beautifully into the arcs of the whole season - is it right to sacrifice one person to save the many? does that answer change when you can no longer convince yourself he was a “bad” person and you now have to realize it was an innocent person? how about when it’s someone you know? how about when it’s your child? how about when you only have ten days and no other options? how about when you’re really, really sure there’s a chance this will work? how about when everyone is looking to you to find a magical solution and yet second-guessing every solution you present because there isn’t an option that is not in some way awful? - but I think it matters a lot to make sure we’re clear on what Abby did and didn’t do, what Abby was and wasn’t responsible for, and the lines between what happened onscreen vs. how things are interpreted based on how much you do or don’t like Abby.  If you love her as a character, it’s easy to dial down the fact that she knows and likes Emori and yet was willing to sacrifice her life; if you hate her as a character, it’s easy to dial down the fact that she ultimately couldn’t go through with it, or watch Clarke go through with it, even though in that moment it is literally the only option she can think of to save the whole human race.  She doesn’t stop Clarke from doing it - none of them do, not Raven, not Jackson, not Miller, not Roan.  Luna tries, and gets sedated for it.  Luna is the only one who protests what they’re doing to Emori, but Luna’s rigidly inflexible morals are not always necessarily intended for the audience to view her as “right” or that hers is the “best” way; it’s simply the way she is.  So yes, it’s true that Abby’s growing affection for Murphy, and the fact that Emori is a real human being she cannot depersonalize, don’t stop her from consenting to the experiment, and that’s important.  But it’s equally important that she cannot live with being the person who actually does the deed herself.  Both those things are simultaneously true.

Anyway, I’ve seen a lot of Abby discourse floating around the tag and I think a good deal of it oversimplifies the complexity of what was going on in that scene and assumes that Abby’s vision gave her a high level of certainty that Emori would probably die, implying a level of calculating ruthlessness that isn’t in character at all.  I think if you look at it as though Abby thinks that vision was a bad dream until Clarke shoots herself up with Nightblood and says “okay, put me in the radiation chamber” and then Abby realizes that 1) she can’t hide anymore from the fact that she might be sick, and 2) if her vision is the same as Raven’s vision, then at least in some abstract way it might be partially true.  That doesn’t mean Nightblood won’t work, it just means it’s the last straw that pushes an already-on-the-brink Abby completely over the edge with Mom panic. 

[elizabethrobertajones]

Why do you think Dean never prayed to Cas when he was in lockup? I mean, I get that he couldn't possibly tell Cas where he was held, but he still could have prayed, I mean Cas was worried sick.

Since it’s late on Thursday night already a week after this aired, I feel like I’ve seen every possible version of this discussion on my dash. My very boring answer which I gave after reblogging some character-based stuff was just that this is where they wanted Cas (worried sick) and so Dean didn’t, and it’s up to us to interpret why but to me the episode was MORE about Cas and Mary and in general what happens in the Winchester’s absence, and so it was definitely working backwards from there. Sam and Dean got a little action sequence at the end and literally in the last 5 minutes any emotional stuff, because with a delayed reveal on the deal they were not really emotional POV characters UNTIL the bridge, therefore the episode was not ABOUT them so much as what else happens in their orbit when they’re not around. Even the guys holding them down there got way more personality and interesting character writing than the Winchesters did in prison…

And this is NOT a criticism, because I am assuming you don’t write an episode where your 2 main characters aren’t “really” characters in it until the last 5 minutes unless you’re doing it deliberately and want to explore something else. Which in this case included Cas being miserable about Dean being gone, which therefore meant Dean could not be in contact with him giving him any hope or something to swing at, because that wouldn’t get Cas to where he needed to be. And would have not removed Dean (or Sam if he prayed) from the story properly either, to maximise on a Winchester-free Supernatural episode. Or as far as you can go to pull that off within the constraints of needing to have their faces in the episode on and off throughout. Same formula as 6x04 or 6x20: keep them around but they only really get involved in one emotional moment at the end aside from general standing around having a face in between :P

I also think that it’s not plotholes or deliberate laziness or stupidity to leave gaps like this all the time if they can be explained, although I feel like fandom as the part of the audience that spends a lot of time thinking about the show and gets really complicated about their questions and expectations, can end up feeling like we’ve been short-changed or the show isn’t thinking hard enough about something we crowd-sourced an answer for weeks ago… We often move immediately to much heavier or deeper territory and come with pre-loaded expectations that make everything seem to fall short… 

(Can you tell I have read a lot of negativity this week about an episode I thought was great fun and actually proclaimed 3/4th of the way through that I was pissed off with Dabb for not giving me any plotholes to bitch about for once? :P People were @ ing me expecting me to have issues with the car continuity but I hadn’t noticed any and when I re-watched I realised that Mary saying “I drive fast” before the driving had explained everything I needed to know to completely keep my immersion in the story so it hadn’t even occurred to me to question it because I thought the story had pandered to my need to know these silly details? No one gave any numbers and who knows what the maths is on driving from the Bunker to Colorado via Mary and stopping to chat to the BMoL that would give us a total drive time for Cas but that one sentence just *magic wand ding* made it all go away :P To me this was Dabb’s most solid episode ever in terms of writing, except perhaps 8x08 which I think lands a perfect score on all fronts when normally sloppiness like that lets him down (loses points for Billie though…))

Anyway, sorry, slightly ranty because it’s late and I’m tired and in pain and this really has not been bothering me at all, which makes my response to the fact people ARE disgruntled unfortunately disproportionate, because basic maths about gruntlement proportions. :P 

The very obvious practicalities that you mentioned give a basic emotional surface text version that I think honestly does adequately cover it about as obviously as “they showed Dean shaving to explain why his hair was the same length when he came out as when he went in” - that is, if you take away any character dynamics and look at it like, Dean could tell Cas where they are if he knew where they were, but when he phones Cas he says he has no idea where they are ergo he’s had no reason to contact him, then you have what passes for a very very boring answer that might not satisfy US but tbh I suspect for anyone NOT overly invested in this relationship would be the sort of answer they get to if they wondered and be satisfied with it.

 I feel like I’ve read a lot (or in my head it has stretched out in fever dream ways to feel like a lot) of rambling over the last week about all the praying and why Dean wouldn’t, and the history of their prayers, their entire relationship since like, season 4, and so on and so on to try and make a coherent story arc to explain why Dean has stopped praying to Cas and I think they’re all great even if I’m now pretty hazy on them (see above: fever dream). I think my favourite slant of the argument (but not the only or main interpretation, just one I like that I’m picking on here :P) is just Dean’s self-worth, that he wouldn’t feel like he deserves to pray any more (and this is tracked back to when he last prayed and pointing at the Mark of Cain arc in the middle). Cas’s trauma in 11x06 was clearly linked to damage going back to Dean beating him up in 10x22, and once the Mark of Cain stuff was all thankfully over, Dean also felt like complete shit about it. Cas is still suffering from an ongoing arc of the same trauma from the start of season 11; why not assume Dean is following after him still feeling like shit about that? It severs their connection they had back in, like, season 8 when things were last somewhat resembling factory settings for them, at least on the surface. The window between Cas getting grace back and Dean getting the Mark is like, 2 episodes if you push it, and we have one “I came as soon as you called” of ambiguous suggestion if Dean phoned or prayed, and after that there are literally no more opportunities.

I am feeling like with at least Cas’s side of stuff clearly back on the table now hopefully to be addressed, that at least by the end of the season Dean and Cas might work some stuff out so perhaps in the long run he’ll start again or the way they relate to each other and how Dean used to treat Cas with Faith as in literal religious faith, and now what it is instead, will get discussed… or not. But something will presumably happen pushing this in one direction or another, and I’m still thinking worse before better >.>

Honestly at the moment I’m starting to feel like if it seems weird that Dean isn’t praying to Cas, maybe it’s something we ought to be noticing and not something the show is just forgetting to do out of neglect. Though we don’t have any proof they’re not idiots, it seems really easy these days for chunks of fandom to immediately decide that they are, and that they’re writing Cas badly by making him weak and unable to deal with vampires instead of exploring why they’d show Cas doing that. Or people asking other questions like it in an accusing way instead of a curious way, because accusing doesn’t get us anywhere and doesn’t really seem to be looking for an answer… I’m working on the assumption that the show can fuck up (… Billie… or like, Lucifer’s baby. Or Buckleming still writing in general :P) but not that they’re in a constant state of fucking up, and that not everything that happens IS a fuck up…

I am still enjoying watching a lot of episodes that other people really hate so idk :P I recognise that a lot of people are too disappointed or hurt or attached to a character to do this, but back at the end of season 10 I took a huge step back and decided that I still loved the most part of this show, and went and rewatched it to find the stuff I did love, and I’ve felt annoyingly well-balanced about it ever since.

It also helps I don’t watch live, and every time something kinda weird happens I pause the show and think for as long as I need about what just happened before I continue watching instead of leaping to conclusions or to get my ducks in a row before dealing with scenes. And I have the luxury of rewinding to check dialogue, and not watching a shitty stream so I get the whole episode first time, so things that get blown out of proportion in the immediate aftermath of the episode are like 99% wanky things I don’t get involved with :P 

… And yeah I know none of this is answering your question but it is explaining why I’m answering your question like this >.> Sorry. I’m wildly over-emotionally invested in everything but for anything that isn’t a fairly objective reason to be wanky (like… Billie :P) I’d rather give the show a big old benefit of the doubt about killing reapers or Dean not praying… or even Dabb’s freakin’ car continuity :P Your tone sounded complain-y about this to me (or at least like it was bothering you) so rather than just answer with one of multiple random interpretations that explain it from a character POV that would only either smooth over 1 plothole or leave you unconvinced and still grumpy if you didn’t really like the character interpretation (and answering on that level unless you hit on a real nugget of a thought generally does not really seem that convincing on a bigger scale to make it OKAY that people were upset about this), I thought I’d get a bit meta and explain why I am not grumpy >.> Possibly still not convince anyone but the simple answer just seems so pointless when people are upset about bigger problems.

[glooomm]

I JUST FINISHED THE LAST BOOK OF THE SERIES LMAO.

Thank you @squeer-el for tagging me on this masterpiece of a headcanon

headcanon: deacon refuses to read the cruel prince bc he saw fanarts of cardan greenbriar and they reminded him of buddy