#i mean uncomplicated... it should be a chaptered fic so maybe it will become complicated

[lenievi]

kinda mad at myself for writing 1500 words of kirk/la'an meeting after the rejection and acting as if nothing happened (and still being very much into each other) because that's what my brain decided to do... (excuses)

but kirk wanted to tuck a flower behind la'an's ear 🥺

[the-silverforked-sky]

Sometimes We Both Lose Our Minds (to find the better road)- Olicity Fic

Pairing: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak

Rating: T Words: 3400 Summary: Returning back to his old life in Starling City, Oliver had anticipated and planned for many things. Carrying out the mission his father had bestowed on him, falling back into his old irresponsible persona, hiding his true self from his family and friends, and protecting them at all costs. The one thing he hadn’t planned on was gaining 2 new family members, his stepfather Walter Steele and Felicity Smoak, his childhood friend, now also his stepsister. Regardless of the changes and surprises, he knows he has to become someone… something else to make those on his father’s List pay for their crimes.

Chapter Summary: Felicity attends Oliver’s Welcome Home party and the two finally have a chance to catch up. A/N: Hiii... So it’s been super long since I posted the first chapter and then left you all hanging. I feel so terrible about it, but the past 2 semesters have been crazy hectic. But hopefully this chapter partially makes up for it. Now that I’m off, I hope to have a more consistent update schedule. I’m so excited about this verse and have so many ideas I want to share, so I hope you’ll stick around.

Thanks a lot to @nvwhovian who's been fielding all my crazy and paranoia as I worked up to posting this chapter. And to her and @beinmyheart for editing this chapter!! As mentioned in the summary, Oliver and Felicity are kinda step-siblings, if that is a thing that you’re not comfortable with, you should back out now. If you’re staying and giving it a try anyway, thank you so much and I hope you enjoy this verse and journey. If anyone would be interested in sending prompts for this verse or being tagged in updates, please drop me a line. 

Title is from The Poison by The All-American Rejects and the chapter title is from Never Let Me Go by Florence & the machine

You can also read the chapter on AO3 or other installments

Reflections still look the same to me (as before I went under)

She’s standing at the bar at Oliver’s Welcome Home Bash waiting for the barkeep to notice and maybe serve her. Tommy needs to hire better bartenders for his parties, what is the point of free-flowing alcohol if you’re not even served? That makes her sound like she’s an alcoholic or something, she’s not for the record. It’s just that being sober around so many drunk people is giving her a headache, and maybe she just needs a drink to take the edge off.

There’s been way too many changes and surprises over the last few days. Not that they’ve been bad ones per se, they’re actually good. Happy even. Oliver is alive. That is amazing, and it makes so many people she cares about incredibly happy, including her. But changes need adjustments and that is pretty stressful. She’s just glad she isn’t living in the Queen Mansion. In the past few years she’s started to feel weird and out of place there, being in that house makes her jittery. With Oliver suddenly back, there’s a tension that hangs over the entire household that she would rather avoid. And with her propensity to babble about inappropriate things, she would probably just end up making things even more awkward.

Then there’s also the fact that she and Oliver are now bound by family… or something. For all intents and purposes, Oliver is her step-brother now. Which is incomprehensible to her. She knew this would be the case since her dad married Moira, she’d even readily accepted Thea as her new step-sister. But it was different when thinking about Oliver. All these years, it had been a vague idea, a ‘what if’ hinging on Oliver being alive. But now he is alive and this new relation between them is making things all messy in her head. Since she had met him, he’d always been her friend; she’d never really thought of him as a brotherly figure. For a brief period of time, she’d even had a tiny crush on him- having the attention of two of the most notorious heartbreakers in Starling City will do that to a girl. She’d grown out of it, obviously, but that doesn’t mean it lessens the complication in any way.

A sudden din falls over the crowd and she looks up to see that Oliver’s entrance has commanded their attention. She observes him as Tommy introduces him and he raises a ridiculous toast to tequila (of all things). She watches as he feeds the public what they want, having them eating out of his palm, perfectly playing up the devil-may-care attitude Ollie Queen was known for. She wonders if he’s putting up a front, playing up what he thinks people want to see, even after he’s spent five years isolated. Or if he’s actually not changed a bit. If it’s the former, he’s still not able to completely hide the things he doesn’t want others to see. It’s given away more by what’s missing than what is there. Those expressive blue eyes, that could make anyone he paid attention to feel like the centre of the universe, are vacant now- as though they’ve been purposely kept so. She’s sure the others have noticed too, but they’re so distracted by acting as if no time has passed at all, that they just accept his unbothered act and overall okay-ness. It’s not that she wants him to be damaged or have difficulty coping but it just seems off to her. You don’t spend five years isolated from civilization, without it leaving some mark or changing you in some way. She feels they need to be prepared for it, prepared to help Oliver in whatever way they can, instead of just ignoring it till it goes away. But then again, she’s never quite settled into the elite’s mentality of brushing things under the carpet, she’s not made for hiding from the truth.

That’s not the only thing she has noticed either. Because she’s definitely not missed that delicious looking scruff or the shorter hair which looks so much better than the weird serial killer hair he had before. And don’t even get her started on the way his suit highlights his very wide and muscular shoulders and biceps. He was cute before but now he’s devastatingly handsome and this is why she’s keeping her distance. She’s already practically drooling over him, how is she supposed to conduct a conversation with him where they address their new status as family.

She watches as his eyes scan through the room and the crowd, catching on hers with some surprise. She wonders why. Sure she doesn’t really fit in with this crowd consisting of mainly fangirls, but she’s here to support her close friends. She doesn’t doubt her connection with Tommy, they’ve become closer and built that friendship back up since she returned home. Where Oliver is concerned though, she’s unsure about what kind of reception she would get. They’d definitely drifted apart a bit, for a couple of years before he left on that fateful trip, but it seemed natural given that the boys were venturing out to various colleges while she’d been focused on graduating early from high school and getting into MIT. But they’d kept in touch regularly enough that she hadn’t ever thought it would affect their long-term friendship. Five years, on the other hand, was a whole different can of worms. Especially given that Oliver didn’t seem all too thrilled with welcoming her dad, and probably by extension her, into the family. She breaks their eye contact then, the thought that Oliver may refuse their friendship is painful and she isn’t ready to expose that that vulnerability to anyone.

As she cranes her head looking for someone who can fix her a drink, she hears a voice close to her ear, “Hi Felicity, need me to buy you a drink?” She startles, turning around to come eye to chest level with Oliver himself.

“Oliver,” and her voice comes out sounding breathy, she needs to make it stop sounding like that. It’s just Oliver, and he’s teasing her just like he would years ago when they would talk and banter and be uncomplicated friends. No big deal. She looks up to meet his eyes, seeing a hint of amusement and fondness that gets past the shadows in them. “Haha, I can buy myself a drink now, with my real ID too. Also it’s an open bar.”

His lips lift into a small smile, minuscule really in comparison to the toothy dimpled smiles and laughter she’s seen on him, but there all the same. More than that though, it lightens his eyes and manages to put some of her uncertainties to rest, which makes it all the better. “Guess you don’t need me and Tommy to supply you with fake IDs anymore. Shame, I’d got a new set I was gonna gift you for getting through finals. Really creative names too.” She narrows her eyes at him and he chuckles, his eyes and voice softening even more, “it’s good to see you again Felicity.” He extends his arms a little, it’s such an awkward gesture but very clear in its intention. So she pushes herself into him without hesitation, wrapping her arms around his neck. His arms tighten around her back and she melts into him, nostalgia and an incredible amount of joy rushing into her as she revels in the feeling of him being alive and home.

“It’s so good to have you back Oliver. I’ve missed you a lot,” she mumbles into his neck.

She’s not even sure if he heard her but then he murmurs back, “me too.”

She separates from him then, looking anywhere but at him. She feels self-conscious like they’ve already lingered a little too long for a hug between friends, even long lost ones. His heavy gaze doesn’t help all that much either. Then she remembers the events of this morning and her concern can’t be contained. “Are you okay? My dad told me about the kidnapping.”

“I’m alright, really. Not even a scratch, we were found in time, I guess,” his response sounds so practiced, it immediately draws her curiosity but before she can say or ask anything about it, he continues, “so I guess a ‘welcome to the family’ is in order?” And really? That’s what he wants to break the tension with?

His tone sets her on edge too, it sounds pleasant enough and he’s delivering it with a perfectly charming smile, but there’s something cutting about it. She looks at him sharply, the indignation from last night, at his rude remark to her dad during the family dinner, returning. Realizing his mother was remarried was probably a shock, no one would really want to think about how their family may have moved on in their absence. And obviously Moira’s misguided attempt to ease Oliver into the situation by hiding the truth about her new marriage didn’t help much either. But he was downright rude to her father and she won’t stand for that.

“It would seem so. Though my dad is really the one it should be directed to. And try being a little more genuine that time?”

As soon as she says it she knows she hit the mark but not in a good way, he looks stung by her snarkiness. And really she didn’t mean to be sassy or nasty about it but she’s also not interested in pulling punches on the matter. Her father means the world to her and Oliver can be shocked at the news, find it difficult to digest and adjust but he cannot disrespect her dad. Nonetheless she softens her tone as she says, “You're not being very fair to him.”

“Felicity,” he begins, “it’s my mom and also Thea… they’re too important and I wasn’t prepared. I’m still not. I didn’t expect…” he trails off seeming to not know how to continue.

“Didn’t expect is probably an understatement,” she scoffs, trying to lighten the moment. She gets where he's coming from, they’re both just trying to protect their respective parents.

“Oliver, I understand,” she continues and then modifies, “kind of, some of it, because your experience has been very different and I can’t know everything you’ve been through. But I do understand a certain aspect of it. Seeing your mom with someone new, seeing her move on, that was probably not the easiest pill to swallow. I felt that too,” She tries to hide how she still gets a little choked up thinking about her adoptive mother, “even though it’s been years since Alicia passed away.”

She meets his sharp gaze again to make sure that she’s not completely messing all of this up. He looks a bit more receptive to what she’s saying, so she takes it as a win and continues with as much earnestness as she can, “But something between my dad and Moira just clicked. They helped each other through their pain and they love each other so much. He’s good to her Oliver, to both her and Thea. He loves them so much. And Moira, she makes him happy, happy in a way that I didn’t think I’d see him again. You just need to give him a chance.”

All of it seems to hit him hard, but he doesn’t look away from her. He nods his head with a “I’ll try.” Not exactly what she was hoping for but an immediate resolution does seem unrealistic. She’s made her point though and he heard her out. That’s the best she can do right now. He seems to be studying her as intently as she is studying him, some of it feels awfully calculating even though he’s trying to hide it behind nonchalance.

Suddenly she feels a body bumping into her, causing her to lose her balance and stumble right into Oliver. And woah, she completely forgot where they were. This was so not an appropriate place to have such a serious and private conversation. Oliver is holding onto her elbows and her hands are pressed onto his chest from where she tried to catch herself. A very firm chest that feels ridiculously good under her hands and boy does she need to back out of his personal space. Were they really standing that close throughout their conversation?

She's just starting to back away when Tommy makes his appearance. From the look on his face, he’s apparently got some interesting ideas to get himself and Oliver in trouble running through his mind, and thankfully doesn’t notice the odd tension hanging over her and Oliver. His first sentence just proves that, “There you are! Now by my rough estimate you have not had sex in 1,839 days”

She wrinkles her nose as she looks from Tommy to Oliver and back to Tommy, “I don’t think I needed that information. And did you actually calculate that?”

“Felicity!!” He exclaims, pulling her into a tight hug as if he hadn’t just seen her last night. “Well, no wonder you ran off, I would prefer her company over mine too,” he directs to Oliver as he winks at her. “Of course I calculated it. And I needed to get that number out before I forgot because that is a loooong time. This poor guy had a dry spell of a lifetime, haven’t you buddy? But we’re going to remedy that and as your wingman, I highly recommend Carmen Golden,” with that he turns Oliver by the shoulders to face another large crowd of women.

Oliver looks understandably confused as he asks, “Which one is she?” with a tinge of amusement in his voice like he’s just humoring Tommy.

“The one who looks like the chick from Twilight,” Tommy replies very promptly.

“What's Twilight?”

“You're so better off not knowing.” The grimace on Tommy’s face and the way he winces, immediately makes her laugh. He really would know, considering he’d been forced to watch all four parts multiple times, including braving premieres, long lines and high-pitched tweens. She’d like to say she doesn’t fold as easily as Tommy does when it comes to Thea, but really that would be such a lie.

Speaking of whom, she spots Thea and a couple of her “friends”, her good mood vanishing almost instantly. The guy Thea is speaking to may be a new one, but it doesn’t mean that Felicity isn’t aware exactly who he is, or rather what he’s able to supply. She must’ve shown some kind of reaction because she feels both Oliver and Tommy glance at her and then follow her gaze right to Thea. Where she is now exchanging her money for drugs, in what she seriously hopes Thea doesn’t consider an inconspicuous manner. Because she’s being quite obvious. Oliver’s focus just seems to narrow down onto Thea and he barely excuses himself before he’s off. Felicity meets Tommy’s eyes, and he seems to share her thoughts that this situation is not going to go down well at all. Beneath it though, lurks a deep regret and guilt that mirrors hers. The sense of failure that they couldn’t prevent or pull Thea back from this path. That at all of fifteen she’d felt so alone in the world that she’d gotten hooked onto drugs and partying as an escape. She also sees the question in his eyes, if they should interrupt and try to diffuse the situation before it gets bad. She knows though that if anyone has to insert themselves between the siblings, it’s got to be her. Whatever trapped feeling Thea is experiencing will only get worse if she’s confronted by both Oliver and Tommy. She puts a hand on Tommy’s arm to reassure him, before she makes a beeline towards Oliver and Thea.

She quickens her footsteps as she sees Thea breaking out the attitude, when Thea gets into this kind of mood, she’s usually only one wrong word away from tipping over the edge. As she gets closer, she realizes that Oliver has managed to find that tripwire. The pain in Thea’s voice as she tells Oliver that she spent five years thinking he was dead, that the last five years are permanently within her, strike her so hard. It makes her throat tighten and stomach twist up. And she can tell from the way Oliver looks away, that it hits him much harder. Felicity curses herself for not anticipating and misjudging how Oliver’s return is going to affect Thea, for not seeing that Thea too won’t be able to just brush the last five years away like they didn’t happen.

“I’m sorry if I turned out to be some major disappointment,” she keeps going.

But no, she’s not. And those words slip out of Felicity’s mouth, “Thea, no,” before she even realizes. It draws both the siblings’ attention to her, and to the fact that she obviously overheard most of the conversation. But her focus is on Thea, who looks like she wants to be anywhere but here. The way her mouth curls up, slightly cruelly and looking so out of place on her face, Felicity knows that she’s found her parting escape line and that it’s going to hurt. She’s not sure if it’s going to be aimed at Oliver or her, or both of them, but she braces herself for it anyway.

“Ollie, you can’t come back here and judge me, especially for being just like you. And now that we have the perfect sibling,” she gestures towards Felicity, “there’s no pressure on either of us. We’re free to screw up however we like.”

And wow, yeah that stings. She knows that her dad and Moira were pleased with her interest in the company, and that they’d pinned their hopes on her leading QC once they’d be ready to retire. Though she felt the weight of those expectations, she’s tried her best to thrive under the pressure and make them proud. She can barely admit it to herself, but part of it has been the need for validation and attention from her father, while he’d been busy with his new wife and new job, as a reminder that she won’t be forgotten. If she makes them see her, and realize her value, then maybe she won’t be left behind. She never realized that someone else could’ve picked up on it, or that it would be so effective when used against her. Thea directing her friends to “Let’s bounce,” pulls her out of her thoughts. Looking up, she notes that Thea won’t even look at her or Oliver. That more than anything, sets her in motion. If she doesn’t do something to fix this now, forgive Thea for lashing out, then it’s going to turn into a spiral of guilt and avoidance that’s going to turn into more emotional suppression and anger later. And if she can get to Thea and pull her away before she gets high, then Felicity is going to consider it a win for the night.

Oliver’s soft call of her name, makes her pause. She turns to him, his face is shuttering off but she still catches a glimpse of sorrow and an apology. “I’m going to go talk to her,” she says as she points in the vague direction Thea headed in.

She takes in a breath then, “I know you have questions and things to say, and a lot of those answers you’re going to hate. I’d say give her time, but I don’t even know if that will work to be honest.”

She rises up on her toes, holding onto Oliver’s elbow, as she places a light kiss on his cheek. He stiffens a little, obviously not expecting the contact or closeness. She doesn’t even know why she did it. She’d missed him a lot, it feels like nothing short of a miracle to get one of her closest friends back, and she needs to convey her affection and happiness to him. And really, a little cheek kiss is not so different from their previous hug, it’s what friends or step-siblings do. It just shows that they’re comfortable with each other, and that their relationship is so very platonic. And in line with those thoughts, she completely refuses to acknowledge how her lips still tingle or how her heart skipped a beat for some reason.

Tagging: @nvwhovian @beinmyheart @felicityschattycathy @callistawolf @coal000 @myhauntedblacksoul @tdgal1 @cessink @nina2406