#i mean this with an earnest love: he is so fucking cringe

[fallen-goldfishcracker]

Wyll is so fucking funny and no amount of acknowledgement about this could ever be enough. He's literally walking around being so casually hilarious completely under-the-radar. He calls Halsin a "thick hunk of an elf". He once accidently implied that he was fucking an ogre instead of killing it and then proceeded to absolutely stumble his way through explaining. He gets excited by Lae'zel talking about carnal pleasures. He canonically tells his pessimistic thoughts to shut the hell up. He volunteers to babysit Shadowheart's hypothetical werewolf babies as long as she gets him gloves. He tries to give Gale a hero moniker like his own. He jokes that his father, the Grand Duke of Baldur's Gate, can't spell. He calls Astarion "Mister Fangs". He makes up storybook chapter names for his own fucking adventures. As a child he got chased by the Flaming Fist for stealing fruit, nearly drowned trying to find mermaids in the harbor, and almost successfully broke into the Counting House. He reads monster erotica, and is not ashamed to tell you about it. He ranks eating pudding among life's greatest moments. He will, without shame and completely unprompted, meow at you. He is 24 years old.

[xyfanficarchive]

here, have some incredibly personal laios x reader hurt/comfort, written as therapy in the form of reader insert bcos i was sad today, might be a bit ooc idk man :)

————————————

“You know, I actually love when you ask me for things, when you tell me you’re feeling down, or if I’ve upset you.”

You raised your red-rimmed, apprehensive gaze to meet Laios’ eyes, clear and completely earnest as he smiled at you. Weakly, you tried to return the expression. It didn’t feel very convincing.

“It makes me feel like you love me and trust me. That you trust me enough to be honest - that you trust me to comfort you, to do better by you, that you believe in me and my ability to meet your needs, that you believe I can be there for you in a way that makes you happy,” he elaborated, reaching his hands out and taking yours. “I feel valued.”

You flitted from golden eye to golden eye, searching his expression desperately for any inconsistency, any unfinished edge, any loose thread that would unravel his perfect honesty and found none. Your frail smile faltered. He was like the life-giving sun, but you felt as though you were in the desert being beat down by his radiance. You wanted to shrink away, and your shoulders hunched. Oh that sentiment was so nice, and certainly he meant it. But that just meant it would hurt exponentially more when he was done with you, when he finally realized-

“What’s going on? What are you thinking?” He stooped his head closer to yours, and tears welled up in your eyes, your lips parted in a wince as you shook your head. Laios’ brow furrowed. “No, something’s wrong. This is what I mean: I want to help you, you want me to help you, but I can’t unless you tell me what’s going on! So please just tell me what you’re thinking!” The urgency in his voice struck you like an arrow through the heart.

It wasn’t like you could be much more humiliated than you already were. It felt like it was already over, it was going to blow to pieces either way. Your thoughts felt slippery as you gathered them as best you could, your vision starting to blur. You turned your gaze downwards, you couldn’t even look Laios in the eye as you drew a shaky breath in.

“You say that, but,” your voice was quiet, “you don’t understand - we’ll both regret it when you realize…” The words caught, you couldn’t say it.

“When I realize what?” He insisted.

The few seconds of silence felt like an hour. Then, quiet as a whisper, you admitted, with much difficulty: “My needs… my feelings… I’m really hard to deal with… I'm too much... You’ll realize I’m a huge fucking burden, and then you won’t want me anymore!!” You sobbed, and before the tears could fall you covered your face with your hands and hung your head, feeling two inches tall, feeling so deeply embarrassed and ashamed to the core of your being. You wished you could just disappear.

"You think I don't already know you're a burden?"

The words shocked and pained you so deeply you stopped crying, eyes shot up in gape-mouthed, grief stricken disbelief as you recoiled. He was fast with it. All these years, nobody had ever affirmed your belief so directly, nobody had ever stated it so plainly. You'd heard many empty platitudes that were hard to believe, precisely because in the end they had always proved you right - whatever you needed the most, whenever you needed it the most, you were always left in the dust, alone and despairing, and feeling like the biggest idiot in the world for your blind hope.

You saw his face change - he cringed, looking extremely pained, and with panic started to explain: "D-Don't get me wrong! Agh..." For a moment he held his brow in his palm, then took a deep breath, composing himself before he continued. He grabbed you by the shoulders.

"Everyone's a burden, aren't they? Just thinking of my friends - Marcille is really picky and particular. Chilchuck is way too proud and secretive, and he drinks a lot. Falin is my little sister, so I have to be there for her, look out for her. And Senshi... Well, Senshi seems to have a lot figured out already." He paused, and broke eye contact for a moment to look at the floor. "And we all know how I am..." His tone was incredibly loaded, and your heart broke because he was the brightest and most vibrant being you had ever met, having faced a lifetime of hardship and betrayal and still coming out the other side so true to himself.

He leaned in closer to your face. "The point is, though, they all have needs - and they know how to ask for help when they need it! You only ask for help when it becomes an emergency. If even then." His expression softened. "I know you have lots of needs. I know because I've worked really hard to meet them, without embarrassing or scaring you by asking. And it meant a lot of thinking, constant planning, lying awake at night wondering, asking everyone for advice... It's tiring work." He went down the list and you broke his gaze, looking downwards. You felt low, ashamed at all the trouble you've caused him, all because you tried to be no trouble at all. What a right mess you've made.

"Hey, look at me," his hand came up, fingers resting so gently on your jaw, and your watery eyes obliged. "I did it because I wanted to! It makes me happy to see you happy, or fulfilled, or relieved, and to know that it's because of me! I did all of that because I love you! But I can’t keep up with all that hard work all the time. I don’t think it’s fair.” You had been fending off the tears as you listened but now the dam broke again, hot as they rolled down your face, and you sniffled as your nose clogged up. “So can you please help me help you easier? Would you please help me love you like that?” His eyes were glassy now as he looked down at you.

The cry came out of your throat as a whine as Laios took you in his arms, embracing you tight while you sobbed into his chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt around his back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorryyy,” you repeated through the tears and he shushed you, holding you while you cried it out until your gasping, hiccuping breaths slowed and calmed.

It was hard to say what you needed to say next, because you had to admit you were wrong about something you had believed so deeply for most of your life. It wasn’t easy to fully give up the idea that had kept you safe for so long. “I’ll try to be more honest about my feelings… and to ask for help before it’s too late…” Still in his embrace you lifted your head to look up at him, and stared into his eyes with intensity. “It’s terrifying, I won’t lie. But… I trust you.” How couldn’t you trust someone who was so deeply genuine as he was?

He leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead between your brows, and your eyes rolled closed. When he pulled away you turned your head and pressed your ear to his chest. “I want you to be happy. I want this to work. I love you so much,” he said, and you felt the words rumble against your cheek.

“I love you too,” you murmured, lulled by the sound of his breath and heartbeat.

[agoodroughandtumble]

Vienna - Sanji x Reader

Status: Part 1 of 2 [Part 2 is Zoro x Reader] Summary: Inspired by the Ultravox song - Reader is going through a break up. Sanji offers some words of comfort Warning: 18+, Language, angst

It had been fairly obvious that your last romantic relationship had not exactly a hit with the rest of the crew. Thankfully, for Sanji at least, your now ex had never been offered a place amongst the crew so any interaction was few and far between. Still, when Nami had told him why you had been a bit distant the past few days he couldn’t help but feel sorry for you. Even though your choice in men was questionable at times, downright awful at worse, there was nothing he liked seeing less than you being upset – especially over some arsehole that had never been worthy of your attention in the first place. Not that Sanji cared about who you were dating – at least, no more than was a normal amount for a crew mate. And it was purely coincidental that he had spent all morning making your favourite dessert and then the next half hour trying to find you – annoyingly, he found you back where he had started in the kitchen.

“Cheer up, love.”

You lifted your head up from the table, quickly wiping your eyes at the sound of Sanji’s voice and eyeing him a little suspiciously as he walked over to you – a tray full of your favourite cakes in one hand.

The cook gracefully set the plate down in front of you and slid onto the bench. “It is positively criminal for someone as beautiful as you so look so sad.

You rolled your eyes, though despite your best efforts you could feel a small smile tugging at your lips. Still, no one walks in on someone sat with their forehead against a table and assumed what they want is chit-chat. “What are you after?”

His eyebrows creased in confusion, a look of hurt across his face and one hand clutching at his chest. “(Y/N)! Is that how lowly you think of me?” He tilted his head suddenly, a thought occurring to him. “Although… perhaps a kiss from lips as sweet as yours could soften the blow a little…?”

“Sanji-”

“Alright,” the blond pushed the plate of dessert further towards you as a peace offering. “Nami told me what happened.”

“Great. That’s just… fucking great.” You sighed, letting your head fall back against the wall and trying to retain some of your dignity. Being dumped was bad enough, embarrassing enough without the entire crew gossiping about you love life. “Look, I don’t want any of this,” you gestured towards both the food and the cook. “I want to wallow for a while. Contemplate my complete inability to be loved.”

A silence fell over you for a moment or two. Sanji had an unreadable expression on his face, although at present you couldn’t bring yourself to wonder what he was thinking. Obviously he wasn’t taking the hint as he shuffled further into him – so much so that you could smell his cologne mingled with smoke. It wasn’t the worst scent in the world, comforting, almost. You could feel your eyes starting to water again, and took a deep inhale to try and steady yourself.

Crying at all was bad enough – crying in front of a crew mate was unacceptable. Especially since Nami was apparently far more loose lipped than you had previously thought. The idea of everyone else knowing, of them fucking pitying you was almost as bad as having your heart ripped out in the first place.

“You don’t have an inability to be loved.”

It was the softness of his voice that caught your attention. Sanji was never soft. He was charming, and a flirt and usually more often than not a complete pervert but he was never soft. You shuffled uncomfortably under such an earnest gaze, biting your lip as though such an action could prevent the inevitable tears from spilling. “Well, he certainly doesn’t. Not any more.” You sniffed a little. This was pathetic. You were pathetic. No wonder he’d finally decided to get rid of you.

“I do. I mean, we all do. The crew. We love you.” Sanji inwardly cringed. Of all the times he could have accidentally blurted that out, of all the ways he could have told you, whilst you were trying not to cry over some completely arsehole was certainly not one of them. Hopefully you didn’t think anything of it – and he could simply explain it away as a way of cheering you up – reassuring you that the crew would always have your back. Hopefully you wouldn’t think anything more of it and he could go back to loving you from a distance, the periphery.

He cleared his throat, trying keep such thoughts at bay. You were upset, you were crying over another man for fuck’s sake. There was so many ways in which this situation could go horribly wrong. He started to stand up, “I should go. You can’t wallow with company.” He tried sound light-hearted, obviously he failed as your face dropped further.

You caught him off guard, almost instinctively clutching onto his sleeve. “Wait – I…” you trailed off, struggling to work out exactly what you were trying to say. “Can we… can you…”

He sat back down, watching you curiously. If he didn’t know any better he would think there was a look of pleading in your eyes. This was the first time he had had a chance to properly take you in, his heart sank at the redness of your eyes, delicately framed by bleeding mascara and your chapped lips – no doubt from chewing on them in an attempt to fight back any more tears. “Can I what, love?”

“Can you just. Just stay? For a little bit?” You let go of his sleeve and started fidgeting with your nails instead, eyes downcast. “If you want.”

Sanji’s heart shouldn’t swell at the thought of you wanting him, needing him. And he wasn’t so delusional to think you would be asking anything different if it was Luffy, or, God forbid, Zoro that had been the one to walk into the kitchen. But right now, right there, it was him that you wanted – and how could he possibly refuse?

He could pretend it was just because it was the gentlemanly thing to do, and yes, of course he would do the same for Nami but his breath wouldn’t hitch the way it did if she leant in against him. His heart wouldn’t be racing at a thousand miles an hour if Nami was wrapping an arm around his waist, using him to anchor herself and finally allowing herself to be vulnerable. Against all of his wishes, this would always just be for you. He kissed your forehead – he could have that one little indulgence. “Of course I will, darling. Whatever you want.”

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 31

welcome to the thirty-first fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Skirt, Dirt, Worth by @ardett

Lance wants to see Pidge wear skirts and makeup. (But really he doesn’t.)

i know the description doesn’t give much, so you’re going to have to trust me. and i really truly do recommend this one. this one...it’s one of the first vld fics i read, actually, as it was early 2017, and i’ve only had the strength to read it once. it’s not that it’s traumatizing or gory or particularly hard to read except that it’s...heavy, is the word? it made my heart pound and my breathing go fast. i couldn’t...i was feeling absolutely everything lance was feeling and it was scary in the way being vulnerable is scary. it has influenced everything i have ever written. if you’re looking for really early team dynamics and a quietly emotional exploration of gender that will change your perception of it for eternity then i cannot recommend this enough. and i hope i will find the strength to read it again soon

2. putting it into words by @jilliancares [EXPLICIT]

Lance decides to bottom for the first time. (This one's so full of fluff that you MIGHT have the visit the dentist afterward.)

very soft and sweet and emotional! exactly what the description says, you go into this fic expecting something specific and you are satisfied by the end of it. jillian has always been and will always be very talented at exploring young, barely adult klance learning how to be with each other and be themselves.

3. Say Yes To The Mess by @astrolatte

"Keith?"

"Yes, Lance?"

"Is that a dead Altean boar on our front porch?"

"Yes, it is."

"Did you bring the dead Altean boar and leave it on our porch?"

"...do you like it?"

Keith wants to sweep Lance off his feet with his proposal, that is if he doesn't get himself killed first.

one of my fave post-war fics ever tbh. like this made me LAUGH. i love how awkwardly earnest and affectionate keith is, i love how many mean lesbians are included, i love keith & lance’s family, i love long suffering and endeared lance. the whole thing is a sweet and funny masterpiece

4. competitions by @jilliancares [EXPLICIT]

After a certain competition goes wrong, Allura tells Keith and Lance that they're not allowed to compete anymore. Naturally, they bring the competitions to the bedroom.

i love this one bc its so real. like of COURSE these losers would do this. and of course it would work for them. they are rivals first and foremost. rivals to lovers? no. they are rivals AND lovers. they are somehow something more homoerotic than rivals

5. teamwork makes the meme work by muuni 

Allura creates a groupchat for the newfound members of the Gender-Sexuality Alliance club at Voltron University. Everything goes downhill from there.

Keith Why was I never considered

Shiro You know why.

Keith For fuck’s sake You shank a guy once and suddenly you’re “violent” and have “anger issues”

Pidge keith you;re gonna make me piss my pantsnhdjkljdhjh

people like to shit on chatfics all day long ‘oh they’re cringe’ ‘they’re not funny’ ‘they’re overdone’ false. you need to learn how to have fun. chatfics are SO MUCH FUN. dorky dialogue?? memes?? vines bc this fic is old enough for that?? occasional regular scenes to flesh out the story? a sequel? team as family? klance?? MATT/HUNK, WHICH I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE AND HAVE NEVER SEEN SINCE?? this fic is amazing and i will hear no slamming of the genre

that’s it for today (and sorry i was late)!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[002yb]

I don't know, I just really like the idea of a reverse!robins au, you know??? Just little baby Dickie being an absolute menace to a slightly older Jason, and just being completely obvious with his little (huge, enormous, really) crush on Jason, and just Dick being a possessive and jealous little shit as a kid, before they started dating just cracks me up. And like everyone knows about his crush, but they all think its so cute and innocent, and it'll probably go away, right???? Right???? Something like this probably

https://www.tumblr.com/mlim8/691663407306440705/i-want-to-say-how-much-i-love-your-reverse-robins?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/mlim8/681971460563140608/jaydick-week-day-3-reverse-robins-soulmates?source=share

So I think I may have answered an ask with similar vibes here. (: Here's some thoughts inspired by the first link though! Super cute vibes, kudos to mlim8!

Dick emulating Kon because he genuinely believes Kon is the definition of c o o l g u y. Like, how else could Kon land Tim? The man is playing out of his league; he's a legend. Peak aspiration. Of course Dick is going to be smitten with his older brother's cool boyfriend; Dick needs to learn all the tricks of the trade. He's got his own babygirl to win over. C:

(The term 'babygirl' comes from an overheard conversation and while Kon laughs about it, Tim gets so embarrassed. Despite how he tells Dick to not say that, Dick refuses).

Anyway, Kon? Thriving. Some might call his moves cringe, but Dick is so earnest and hopeful and Kon feels like fucking superman no one can touch him. ;U;

Damian nagging both Tim and Jon about Kon's influence on Dick because Dick won't listen to him; he can't be deterred and Damian is losing his mind over how Dick keeps winking and finger gunning and throwing out these truly terrible, punny lines at Jason and ahhhhhhhh

Basically Damian not liking Kon because of the impact he's had in Dick's life. It's created a hassle for Damian, but more than that? Big brother might be a little jealous. ;3;

Extra detail: Damian didn't like Kon even before Dick came into the picture because he became a distraction for Tim. It's an ongoing argument between Damian and Tim, actually. Damian is convinced Tim keeps Kon around for the sole purpose of annoying him (this isn't the case, but Damian is convinced)

Tim scoffing about it and telling Damian that his envy is showing. Just get laid, damn.

Which Damian gets indignant because no )<

To which Tim smirks a bit and purposefully badgers, 'Alright, Brother Complex (affectionate nickname), if you're threatened by our baby brother stealing Jason from you, then—‘

And Damian hisses because shut up, Drake. Fuck forbid father hear such crass speak omfg Damian will bury Tim himself.

Jason does have a crush on Damian though. The brother complex goes both ways. Or rather, it's a transference sort of deal for Jason that lingers big time because in this verse, Damian chose to save Jason from Joker, consequences be damned. The point stands, Jason is very sweet on Damian.

When Dick realizes this, devastation. Betrayed by his own partner!? Because...maybe Damian would have a similar batman stint where Dick was his Robin?? Yes.

Anyway, Dick refusing to talk to anyone, even Jason. Which is how they all know Dick is distraught.

So despite how it pains Damian, they send in the b i g g u n s: Kon. (:

Who hypes Dick up so hard. Just a bro looking out for his little man, y'know? Kon might hype Dick up a bit too much though because when Dick finally leaves whatever high nook he's sequestered himself away in?

Dick walks right up to Damian and challenges him for Jason outright and the family is caught in a perpetual state of ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃) because omfg Bruce is right there watching this play out and Jason is his babygirl, first and foremost.

But Damian accepts the challenge if it means having his brother back. And Damian, the sap, kneeling and drawing Dick in for a hug because fuck, having Dick be mad at him? Someone so happy and hopeful and wonderful? It was like a stab to the heart ngl.

And yes. While Damian's brother complex persists, there's zero intent to act but he still plays into this challenge of Dick's because it's highly motivating for the little punkass twerp.

Meanwhile Jason is just...there. Dumbfounded after Dick winks and shoots finger guns his way with a declaration of: 'you're gonna fall for me some day, babygirl.' But don't worry, Dick will catch him.

And Tim groans because Dick, please.

[lowpolyshadow]

Something i don't really agree or get is fandom perspective of shadow being lame,cringe and bastard meow meow cus that's not really it either(surviving and trying to cope with the horrors? The coolest thing), more like a modern distorted loved notion of people, yeah is funny but also projected and kinda westernized(the inaccurated dub versions and dialogue), leaning away from the original cultural backgrourd that get's sleep on and puts a more nuanced perception of the games. Idk where im going with this but i don't get people popular perspectives idk sorry im a killjoy i just love the fucked up aspect of this silly franchise and it's characters(i wish it could get that deep again).

theres a lot of things that indicate shadow is a cringe little bastard from jp to eng, it’s like his whole. Thing. the fanon flanderization of shadow is crazy but the part where he’s a bastard is pretty blatant in canon

like, he’s genuinely cool and stuff, he has a lot of fantastic moments (if the world chooses to become my enemy i will fight as i always have, the entire somewhat ridiculous yet awesome finale of shadow the hedgehog, sa2’s ending literally cemented his popularity so hard he came back to life in heroes because people thought he was fucking awesome and compelling), but a big appeal is the fact that he’s also still a silly guy in a series full of whacky silly guys

the eng and jp dubs have their differences in tone in a lot of ways, and eng is not incredibly accurate bc of it, but shadow even in jp is still like. a loser (affectionate)—he’s constantly talking about how much better he is, he insists on showing his dominance over sonic (and others, but especially sonic) even when it doesnt fucking matter ala tsr, he constantly FULLY believes he is the most correct person in any and all situations, and that his actions are always the best way to go about it even if it’s reckless or sometimes unnecessary (the mow things in my way down solution)

he’s so earnest in everything he does, in his own special cringe little way, where he’ll say factually correct statements in a blunt manner, but also not quite … ? he’s very honest. he’s incredibly straightforward. every single comment he says, no matter how fucking absurd or edgy or funny, he truly means it. thats his APPEAL he says shit like “ive hit the ultimate jackpot!” and “this is like taking candy from a baby, which is fine by me!” and somehow also “no one else should experience the things ive gone through” and thats all FANTASTIC

i like this twitter thread and a lot of jib’s threads on shadow, bc they know a lot more about the jp side of things, but tldr: shadow is my funny little guy. my stupid little pogchamp. my cringe little bastard boy who is the coolest and also the lamest motherfucker ive ever witness. i’m going to dribble him like a basketball

[fish-fearme]

ive been mulling and brewing and digesting this for such a long time and excuse me for ranting but if you can, please picture me chainsmoking as you read.

its such a deep sadness to me to see this spreading of the ‘irony epidemic’, this fear of being earnest, its the kids sitting behind me during pearl moaning to each other over how nothing scary is happening, only to laugh out loud exclaiming “please, emma stoneeee” and laughing, they’ve seen that on twitter hahaha thats hilarious!! and the guy next to me who spent the entirety of priscilla on his phone then boasted to his friends he thought it was so boring, bas luhrmann’s elvis was so much more fun! this refusal to be immersed, to allow yourself to be uncomfortable without cracking a joke, ate like isaiah ate ethel! mama a girl inside you! nothing means anything anymore and its reduced to one liners, a funeral for liam payne with the one direction dolls to the sound of brat, a girl died at the eras tour in rio? one less swiftie! can we be serious for one second? can we be sincere and human about anything? can we stop working so hard to curate ourselves to the other as these aloof, superior to love and kindness, caricatures of people?

ive had several therapy sessions where ive cried over my youth and the years i wasted trying to look cool, to impress other people with my taste in music and films and somewhere there i lost myself and what actually mattered to me, what i actually loved that really brought me joy. i was then and am again now scared of sharing my art online, because someone might see something of myself in it! and god isnt that so embarrassing? isnt it so cringe to be vulnerable? its all so exhausting.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to show your love for something without fear of being ridiculed? why are we making fun of joy? are you even enjoying this? do you remember what it is like to be moved by something, to feel it within yourself and love it without being told why you should love it? how far are you willing to stray from your own humanity for fucking internet points? you’re reading a book because you saw someone else talk about it on tiktok solely so you can trash it in the comments. you’re watching a movie half paying attention and half trying to come up with the perfect funny letterboxd review. arent you tired of being scared all the time? do you even know how to be honest with yourself?

[pwnyta]

From someone who knows basically nothing about Baldurs Gate......

Imma give my UNSOLICITED OPINIONS.

Karlach is the most consistent with her style. She looks great in everything. Shes also the hottest overall (no pun intended). Her personality is one of the cutest and the fact she doesnt seem to get that good of an ending is UH... CRIMINAL.

Best ship- ...//covers face and mumbles... I really like her relationship with the player... this is so unfortunate... but its so cute. I love her. (I know theres a couple endings where you can kill her. Those dont exist or Im calling the cops.)

Base model MEH, Camp model VERY cute, Panties.... ITS A CHOICE BUT ONE I BUY THAT HE'D MAKE FROM WHAT I KNOW ABOUT HIM. Also I dont believe for a MINUTE this man got a six pack why are you lying directly to my face... He reminds me of Dr Frank, I love his voice, I would never be able to deny him anything because hes really funny and I just wanna see him go crazy.

Best ship- Astarion/Wyll... I just saw a video of Star being SO into Wyll it was hilarious. 'Honestly that MAN~' Someone get him a Thirst-aid kit.

The sheer driplessness of this man needs to be studied by SCIENTISTS. But his panties are pretty cute. I do like his face/hair... but the man cant dress himself. ...Look on paper Gale is everything. His sweetness and earnestness is very charming but GOD... hes so cringe sometimes. GOOFY FUCK.

Best ship- ... Probably Wyll? I mean you can just slot Wyll in anywhere cuz hes so charming and he and Gale are such cornballs itd be insufferable.

Laezel takes second place right behind my bbg Karlach. Her base model is a little weird looking the metal looks weird but it still looks pretty cool. Her camp model is super hot, I never would have expected those panties TBH... why dont the men get fun panties. This is a crime. Anyways 9/10 Zel! Congrats. IDK if I like her or the memes with her. her VA did that ducks in a row video and its so funny and I cant ever be mad at her no matter what she wanted to do.

Best ship- .....I mean aesthetically Karlach? For shallow reasons... idk what their relationship is like.

...Look I know shes super popular but.... Look her camp model is pretty great but Her hair is hideous. I can get over Gales absolute driplessness cus hes still handsome... what is this hair... GIRL. The panties are a choice too... but after Karlach and Zel she really had little chance. Least theyre better than the guys.

Best ship- //shrugs I have no attachment to this woman LMAO

Base model? Kinda boring but not terrible. Camp model? One of the best... the cute little peekaboo belly. I hope someone bites him. BUT THE PANTIES??? Girl. Youre lucky youre so handsome. The horns and crazy eyes elevate him... just putting that out there. Like Gale... on paper Wyll is so perfect but HES SO EMBARRASSINGLY EARNEST. The problem is probably just the style of the game... if it was less uncanny realism and more stylized maybe I wouldnt be as cringed out LMAO. Youre so damn cute Wyll... Im sorry.

Best ship- Astarion is funny but hes such a menace... I think Wyll deserves better. HALSIN/Wyll.

Halsin somehow does the earnest lover thing way better than Gale or Wyll... but hes almost as bad as Gale when it comes to dressing himself. Who let this man dress himself? Hes hot though. It makes up for it. I cant believe BG3 let this beefy elf exist... Im so used to young looking scrawny pasty elves (eyes emoji).

Best ship- Like Wyll you can just put him anywhere.... but WYLL. Theyd just be so cute. Halsin could definitely dull the sheer earnestness to tolerable levels probably.

This lady I know almost nothing about except shes kinda rancid.... but at least shes kinda hot and also can dress decently.

Best ship- ...//shrugs

The fact shes not romanceable makes BG unplayable. Her face and hair is gorgeous, her clothes get a MEH from me... maybe if the colors were more muted?

Best ship- ...//shrugs

Hes fine.

Best ship- ...//shrugs

?

I know the Emperor has some part in this too... and hes hot. So...

Overall-

The difference between S tier and A tier.. isnt that different. I really like those 3 freaks.

At first Wyll & Halsin were these too but... they grew on me & I cant blame them for their faults. Its not Halsins fault you can traumatize a squirrel... its not Wylls fault the realistic style combined with his cheesy romantic bullshit embarrasses me...

I couldnt even get through Dream Daddys.... and I love that game.

I can forgive Wyll.

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

okok. i've collected some of my Star Beast thoughts. i'll put in a cut because spoilers

i had so much fun but it's still a bit of a mixed bag for me.

i loved seeing David Tennant and Catherine Tate back. say what you will about nostalgia baiting but like. they're great together and will always lift up an episode. i loved how unabashedly earnest it was. i love having Shirley keep a rocket launcher in her wheelchair. i love how much Rose being transgender is brought up and informs her character (especially in the era where a canon trans character usually means there's like a throwaway line and then is never brought up again). i loooooooved Beep the Meep and the combination of practical and digital effects (the episode in general just looked very nice). i think all of the characters were really thought through, especially Donna and Sylvia (and their relationship). Donna didn't have a supportive mum growing up so she is really trying to be there for Rose even when she doesn't know how. Sylvia took the Doctor's advice to heart at the end of Journey's End and is actively trying to show Donna that she cares and loves her (and loves Rose for that matter). i did think the plot itself was surprisingly well managed? which i was very much expecting a Power of the Doctor style "who fucking knows what the plot is, we're having fun" thing but it is structured and linear and well paced.

in terms of the things i wasn't super pleased about... i love the trans and disabled rep and it was clearly done with good intentions and i didn't think there were any parts that were offensive or muddled but it was very clear that a cis man wrote it. saving the world through the power of transgenderism is fucking great and baller in the current climate but it was just a bit too pristine with the continued assumption that the Fourteenth Doctor is a man because he's played by a cis man and Thirteen was a woman because she was played by a cis woman rather than having a bit more fun with messing around with gender.

i also think Donna getting her memories back was just a bit underplayed... i love the tragedy in Journey's End and i am fine giving Donna back her memories but i wish we saw a bit more anger with how the Doctor violated her own wishes to save her life and i wish there would have been some sort of trade-off to Donna remembering to still maintain the tragedy (and there might be! this is only episode one!)

finally... i went into this episode kind of expecting it would be a lot of RTD era stuff and that it wouldn't be a huge story. they've practically said in interviews that part 1 will be an ordinary story and then parts 2 and 3 will get fun and funky but i am still a bit disappointed that this is part of the anniversary special. which is an excuse to get cringe and nostalgic and fan-servicey and they didn't really do that. and there wasn't even much of a plot twist since if you know the comics, you know Beep the Meep is evil and Rose being part of the metacrisis was a pretty popular fan theory.

anyways. that's about all of my thoughts. i had a lot of fun, i think it's a solid episode, and the things i didn't like can probably be fixed in the next two episodes. all in all 8/10

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

kind of a random question but what's your take on plastic ono band, musically speaking? a lot of people seem to have very extreme opinions on it so i'm curious about yours :)

Hi anon!!! Don't worry, POB is one of my favourite albums to talk about tbh.

(I'm not sure if by "musically" you mean separate from the lyrics, but I definitely have more to say about it lyrically – please come back with another ask if you want me to delve more into some aspect :) )

I actually rarely listen to the whole thing, because sonically it's not necessarily my cup of tea and there are songs on it I find hard to appreciate outside their album context. Although, the last time I gave it a full relisten, I was actually pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the sound of songs like I Found Out and Well Well Well.

I find the album on the whole an incredible and very concise presentation of a worldview that strives for personal independence, yet feels held back from achieving it for various reasons. It explores various aspects of "dependence", starting with parenthood and then moving on to religion, celebrities, drugs, among other things. It's not something I personally agree with, but the earnestness of the whole thing strikes a chord with me. It's also interesting to me that I've seen various accounts of people who made it out of high-commitment religious groups find the album really resonated with them.

One thing I find the most interesting about it is the fact that iconoclasm is one of the central themes of the album and, the way it opens with Beatle John Lennon screaming for his parents and closes with him singing a lullaby about his mother's death just after declaring he doesn't believe in Beatles and that the dream is over, the album is actually attacking John's untouchable image, forcing the listener to reassess their own relationship to John as a potential idol. In that sense, he's not only preaching, he's also being vulnerable to drive his point home, while simultaneously doing what he believes is necessary: "feel your own pain". I find the way the album plays with the fourth wall fascinating. It made me cringe at first, but I found examining why it made me cringe to actually be really fruitful. The album is challenging and forced me to reconsider it in a way I have rarely experienced with art.

On an individual song level: Isolation and Remember are among my absolute favourite John songs. "I don't expect you to understand / After you caused so much pain / But then again / You're not to blame / You're just a human / A victim of the insane" is a career highlight and the centerpiece of the album to me. It puts all the cutting and perhaps even cruel remarks made before and after into perspective. Plus I loooooooooooooove how that part completely shifts the energy of the song. The triplets in the last line are so good.

Remember is just endlessly sad to me, the interpolation of Bring It On Home lyrics is HEARTBREAKING. I interpret the song as being about reminding yourself why you have to leave a situation. In the context of the Beatles breakup, his use of a 1962 song of that nostalgic (to John) style about wanting someone to come back makes me a little fucking crazy. He took a song about regretting a split and changed it up into a reminder not to look back lest he come to regret his decision to leave.

Otherwise, I think God is incredible musically-speaking (shoutout to Billy Preston's beautiful piano playing!!!) but it's so much lyrically I don't listen to it super often. Love is very very pretty.

Mother and Well Well Well are often a bit much for me, but I find the way they sort of weave primal screaming into the music cool. Hold On and Look At me are quite soothing.

Working Class Hero is probably my least favourite, it's just kind of boring to listen to, though I am thankful to have some John f-bombs so there's that.

[zukkacore]

i can't. remember if i sent in numbers for the writer's ask already. if i did, crying ignore this but: 11, 12, and 30?

11. a wip you'd like to finish someday

Oh god i started so many just w/in the past few days. Jace hireling au obviously. jaceporter first time. Actually, the true honest to god earnest answer is i always felt terrible abandoning my multichap danganronpa talentswap. It's so old i really don't think its indicative of my current skill level but it was so much fun and it means so much to be and its so long and i did have a whole ending planned out but im just not that good at writing detectivework. I do think there's some good shit in there still tho.

The other answer that's kinda cheating is i have a fantasy based Taming of the shrew retelling i've been like retooling for like a goddamn year. It's such a fucked play but i have so many mixed feelings abt it. My feelings on taming are very similar to del toro's on pinocchio in that it's very pro domestication of the human spirit that i think is kinda depressing. Like im very centrist abt whether the play is irredeemable or whether its not meant to be taken seriously, but the themes are interesting. In my mind, there's like. all this stuff abt performance and palability and. Individiuality vs community. Acceptance vs ostracization. This tension between vulnerability n connection vs. power and control and how those are competing needs w/in people. Like. Kate n Petrucchio are both outsiders and petruchio could choose vulnerability and connection w/ his wife and instead he chooses social approval in a patriarchal society which he gains through proving how good he is at subjugating his wife. The themes are INTERESTING it's just the fuckin CONCLUSION (aka its morally good and just to gaslight your wife actually) are fuckin DIRE. On the other hand. Kate and Petruchio have mad chemistry and is it so wrong to think they should fuck nasty?

12. a trope you're really into right now

... 4 jaces? I feel like i have a weird stance on the clonefucking joke poll that goes around every few months (in that its not the same as masturbation b/c the minute their consciousness is different from yours thats like. a full person but not a person i would be compelled to be with but maybe im to arospec for that) so its never particularly compelled me before, like i thought that shit in Loki was kinda cringe. but just bc i don't find the idea particularly compelling for myself doesn't mean Jace can't be a little obsessed w/ himself. Tbh the idea of being a xerox of a xerox of a xerox in general is very interesting for me tho.

There's also something I think i keep returning to abt like. Having to renegotiate or reclaim power and love in a relationship that should otherwise be fucked and heartbreaking. By all intents and purposes, there should be one break at the heart of this that ruins everything, a moment at the beginning that should have ruined everthing from jump. but if we're stuck together, I'm determined to reconcile w/ myself that there's love there. It's very Jaceporter. It's very Kate n petruchio. Very hades n persephone I have another very old school ship that actually has something very similar happen. If you can figure it out based on this text i sent my friend then you were probaly on tumblr when a certain webcomic was updating.

30. share a fic you're especially proud of

I feel like me giving so many answers to these is a total copout. The truthful answer is that I have like a 10k togakure (hiro n togami for those curious) pwp fic thats on my google drive somewhere that i've never posted bc ive been too embarrassed and the ship is NOT that popular so i think like .5 people would read it. But it's like my favorite thing i've ever written. I might post it eventually. If i pluck up the courage. I have sent it to like 2-3 people in my lifetime. I'd cite a scene i like, but I like all of it. And also most if it is smut.

The half-hearted answer is my talentswap bc i am fuckin proud of it im just embarrassed bc i abandoned it. I'm legit so sad. I'm such a Hiro n Mukuro should be proxy siblings truther and im glad their scene was the last thing i posted but now it will never come into fruition.

So i guess. My default answer is my Sky High AU for It chapter 2. It's called Welcome To the Loser Track and it's reddie and in it Richie is the kid who glows and Eddie is the kid who turns into a guinea pig. I actually really like the movie Sky High a lot, I think it's a really good kids movie and it's got a lot of fun setpieces and cool design components and even some of the camerawork is pretty neat and cute stuff in it that's rly underrated. Its like one of the main Things i feel like ppl who are my friends or have been w/ me a long time know about me, and the silly thing abt me is that i really do earnestly like Zack/Magenta as a ship, but mainly bc i just think Zack gives off baby butch dyke vibes (and. I hate to use the phrase. but it's kinda black cat x golden retriever vibes). I actually like it so much that Sky High reddie is probably my favorite version of reddie, and i do think the other Losers in that mode are also very fun (Bill is strong n can fly, Mike controls plants, Stan melts, Bev is pyrokinetic, and Ben is a technopath). The main thing abt it is that it's COMPLETE (i have so many abandoned wips), but i am geuinely proud of it. I don't think the writing is like always the most polished but i think there is a lot of interesting queer subtext in that movie (in that there is basically a coming out scene even if the conclusion of the story is that he was straight the whole time lol) that i kinda picked at and did a good job elaborating on. There's actually a lot of underutilized subtext in that movie that isn't rly interrogated that i think is fun. I just think there's very romantic abt two people with "useless" powers seeing the beauty in each other.

I feel like some old school mutuals from my IT days already know this, but this is probably my favorite scene from the fic:

[eyes-of-nine]

question 17 & 18 for .... ALL of them!! :3 i wanna know more bout them all :'D

(but also of course u can also just choose to answer this question for only some of them that u wanna answer it for)

AHFDGGADFH ELLY!! i'll try to keep the intros really really short bc there's quite a few

17.Are they easily embarrassed?

18.What embarrasses them?

Asher (annoying guy with light powers who thinks he can out manipulate everyone.... he can't) i don't think he's easily embarrassed on most occasions, especially with the shit he pulls off, but there are some exceptions. The biggest thing you could embarrass them with is a big spoiler but let's just say an indirect compliment could make him scream internally.

Mitchell (champion of the Ennoia of Desire, he basically gets to be almost immortal as long as he does the gods' dirty work) easily the most embarrassible (??) one out of the ashmix trio. My man cringes every time he has to hold a conversation with anyone. Pointing out basically anything he does whether positive or negative would do the trick. He is very confused when ppl can perceive him.

Phoenix (is having the worst time bc suddenly and for seemingly no reason she might be able to destroy the world and not a lot of ppl are happy about it) Girl has NO SHAME. It would be impressive to get her to show any sort of embarrassment. ...maybe except for the fact she has like -7 perception or the fact her and Theo met bc she broke his nose after he snitched on her for skipping class.

Theo ( just some guy helping his sister run a cafe, saving up for top surgery and suffering bc he's best friends with Phoenix and that means he doesn't get to know peace...ever) He has a pretty decent grasp on his emotions so it's not THAT EASY to embarrass him. He does tend to put other's needs before his own tho so I think just making him the center of attention for long enough would be enough

Star (Theo's oldest friend and a chaos gremlin who runs around using the fact that nobody suspects a small almost blind guy of smuggling illegal shit to, well, do exactly that) He's not someone who likes to show weakness, thanks to the social circles he tends to deal with, so he hides his embarrassment behind hostility. You could not tell if anything affects him or not. But there are some that tend to hit him hard. Specifically his financial situation or his ability/the reason his eyesight is fucked. He'd dislike you for it tho.

Taru-zai (Ennoia of Time and Space, in charge of running the jail between worlds and hunt down possible dangers to the order of the world) No.

Desiderem (Ennoia of Desire, consists of two incarnations: Rem the previous Ennoia of Desire who well is very dead and Des, the current desire incarnate and Mitchell's patron) almost impossible tho they do have a soft spot for their champions which is very not indifferent higher being of them

Different universe time babey!!

Harlow (girl turned android war machine/bodyguard who after a failed android revolution that she barely escaped alive is forced to pick up pieces of her broken life back together on a desolate planet) Girlie should be happy she can't blush any more bc she would look like a tomato 24/7. If you mention anything about her not being a stoic, cold-blooded get things done no matter the cost war machine, it's over for her which looking at her choice of travel companion, she's fucked.

Caitlyn (buff himbo who sees the best in everyone until they hurt someone she cares about, running around a desert planet scavenging to help out her family and Harlow's great choice of travel companion) Not really. She's a very earnest person and rarely feels like she needs to hide something. She does get embarrassed if you use her full name instead of her super cool definitely didn't think of it in middle school nickname Cai. i love her sm

last character and last universe

Maddy (a young medium who just graduated high school and is, to her annoyance, full-time pinning over the ghost of her best friend's gf while also trying to solve her murder. just think ultimate trio of disaster lesbians) She's a bit awkward, like most teenagers/ just freshly out of high school ppl tend to be. She has a dad who loves to tease her and well looking at the bio, embarrassing her isn't that hard

oc asks

[pennyserenade]

what was i put on this earth for if not to ponder the working dynamics of agent mulder and agent peña? they’d dislike each other at first, mulder naturally skeptical of anyone, but especially small town cop types who come to him with a heavy amount of skepticism. and javier peña would come with lots of it, not some wide eyed child who looks to the stars for answers, but a seasoned dea agent who is bitterly aware of the world and all it’s man-made horrors—enough to know you don’t have to craft monsters to explain them. mulder talks of folktales in earnest, and javier struggles to take him seriously. he’s heard of mulder; anyone who passed through quantico in the ‘80s had. boy wonder, world’s best when it came to catching serial killers. in the desperate days on the pablo case, maybe javi even reverted back to his own psychology days, flipping through mulder’s monograph on serial killers. he found nothing but a good mind in those pages. he didn’t even wonder what became of mulder until mulder was in front of him.

they bicker and work against one another. peña is dismissive and mean about it; mulder has a wry sense of humor and a nasty way of deceiving those who he thinks are working against him. they’d just as well work alone than with one another, have done so before, will gladly do so again. something will inevitably bring them together, though: a dead person, the heavy weight of grief that they've caused pressing against onto their shoulders. maybe just the haunted feeling that never goes away, a million ghosts and a thousand souls they’ve still got to save. mulder doesn’t smoke or drink, prefers his self hatred vivid as he crawls into some dark corner and watches a terrible porno that does nothing to him. but he tries, sometimes succeeds enough to feel relieved for two minutes. peña licks his wounds with some alcohol, only to later rub salt in them as he hands the money to some pretty girl who looks at him, so sorry. he’s the type of client they all pity, even after he’s fucked them good. mulder and peña work better alone because it’s best not to let anyone get a whiff of grief that potent, so of course it draws them together. happens in some cracked booth in some ugly bar. then a series of poor decision making and near death experiences that would make scully cringe if she was there. peña tells him the world is mean and mulder tells him it doesn’t stop there, but there’s a brilliance to the partnership, a silver lining: love. these two world weary men are sick with it. it’s their fatal flaw. they want to save the world and they are naive about it, the way two men who have seen what they have shouldn’t be.

it is good to have two agents who will always hope against fate. there’s always that

[heatwayve]

NAOMI & JOSH & ANGEL — DAY FORTY.

location : daybeds.

time : day 40, morning

summary : naomi completes her challenge by getting angel to spoon her and josh hates it

featuring :  angel / @dobits + josh / @graftisms

naomi: on the surface it seems like a simple enough task, but it's not like you go up to some guy who's not your boyfriend like, 'oh my god, please, spoon me, i'm desperate.' it's actually so silly, and naomi feels like she's got her work cut out for her even when she talks to callie about it – obviously giving her a heads up. she takes the opportunity when angel's alone on the daybeds, curling up close next to him. "hey," she greets, voice and demeanor all soft, though kind of a hard sell to seem like a girl in need of some comfort after the night she had. "i'm sick of this, both of us being, like, wifed up and busy. you gotta make more time for me," she says.

angel: “sup, babes,” angel says. then, tongue firmly in his cheek, “i mean, mrs. josh.” mostly ‘cause he has no idea what the dude’s last name is. in any case, he reaches over to teasingly pinch her cheek. at least she can admit to being wifey, angel smiles at their paralleled domestication. “i’m a househusband, actually. different vibe.” he’d been stretched out on his back, arm tucked back behind his head, but rolls to his side to give naomi his full humored attention. “m’kay, gimme the gossip then. what’s been goin’ on with you?”

naomi: "yeah, yeah," she rolls her eyes, a smile playing at her lips, "whatever, mr. callie." maybe they're not as official in nomenclature but they may as well be, really, and she'd fight him on that. teeth snap at angel's fingertips as he reaches over to pinch her, trying to bite back. "yeah, what's the distinction then?" she asks him, moving in close so their bodies are touching, her head resting in the crook of his arm. "please, everybody in the villa knows what's up with me. though, wait, actually -" god, she actually has such a story to tell him about a missing vibrator, but it's so not a spooning vibe. she needs to temper the mood down or she's gonna have him giggling instead, calling callie back over to conspire or something. she takes a breath, "if i ask you something, you'll give it to me straight?"

angel: “the distinction is that i’m a big, manly husband, obviously,” he says like duh. like it wasn’t just yesterday he was proclaiming himself jude’s wifey. well, naomi’s right about that, it’s hard to miss updates about her when josh is literally shouting them from the rooftop. he interjects playfully in her pause, “what? is it true you were dressed up in a canadian flag when you asked him to be your boyfriend?” words travel in the villa, for sure, but not before getting goofily jumbled. plus, angel just likes to tease her. he turns more serious at her question though, brows popping up on his forehead as he nods earnestly. “yeah, of course. what’s up?”

naomi: "right, so that means you . . . mow the lawn, love to grill, listen to weezer?" she asks, nose crinkling. the suggestion that she'd be dressed up in the canadian flag to dtr sounds like something out of jay and silent bob go canadian, eh? (real film) so she's got to roll her eyes, but truthfully, angel's not even that far off. but all the cringe was kind of worth it for the look on josh's face. "mmh, yeah," she nods, playful smirk tugging at her lips, "and i was covered in maple syrup, too." endeared by the earnest shift in angel's demeanor, she smiles slightly. her comfort around him isn't a charade, though she's subtle about the way she turns her weight, glancing over her shoulder at him. at what point does it start to count as a full spoon? "do i look a total fucking mess right now? rate these eyebags."

angel: “mhm, m— weezer?” nose scrunches in a mimic of her’s. “iron maiden, baby. does your old man listen to weezer?” that would be hilarious, especially considering who her dad is (whose identity he’s learned since casa). there’s a distinct sweetness to her smile, probably not even related to the supposed syrup. he’s surprised she doesn’t argue that he was the one to ask her to be official, obviously. something cute about that, too. “awww,” angel squeezes her upper arm, shaking her a bit, before he lets it lay awkwardly between their bodies. he snorts some at her question, his arm still a barrier between them as he tries to lean over her shoulder to be able to get a look. “naomi — jesus, i can barely even see you.” it’s not as if they both aren’t touchy feely people, he’s not really thinking twice about it except that maybe she is trying to hide something with her back to him. he’s chuckling patiently. “the hell are you doing? swear, i’m getting flash backs to when we shared a bed.” with her pointing the opposite way and angel probably taking up too much room, except now there’s proximity. “of course you don’t have eyebags.”

naomi: "well, no. but he doesn't mow the lawn or like to grill either," she adds. she's basing this off daytime comedies. "he likes italian operas. you can have that one for free, in case they have another islander trivia night," she adds with a wry smile, the first indication that she might be slightly bitter about the last one. "shut the fuck up," naomi says, though he's barely said anything, his perception of her and the possibly adorable nature of her current relationship status makes her blush. "nuh-uh, if you were getting flashbacks, you'd be starfishing right now," king of taking up space. "i'm just actually so exhausted, i feel like it shows," she sighs, shifting her weight back against him, hoping she sounds pathetic enough to be taken seriously for the allotted time before she can pop up with a surprising amount of energy. "can you just hold me for a sec?"

angel: “oh, right, yeah. who doesn’t get down with an italian opera?” chock full of sarcasm. “man, really hoping we don’t. think we all know each other a little too well now.” at least they can rest easy knowing there won’t be another movie night, though, with that consideration, angel’s a little wary what people might do with that knowledge. “hey, i gave you plenty of room. you only take up, like, this much space anyway,” he argues, fingers pinching a teeny bit of air. it’s a far cry from sleeping with callie, both of them tangled up in each other. angel frowns a bit, is about to offer to give her space to sleep when she poses her question. “oh —,” he naturally gives pause to the newness of this kinda favor coming from naomi. but far be it from angel not to cuddle. “yeah,” he says softer, vaguely confused, like when he’s trying to figure out what one of his little cousins are wanting from him. in any case, he throws an arm over naomi and scoops her into his chest, his head still inclined up a bit so he can see just the edge of her profile. “everything’s good, right?”

naomi: "i only took up that much space because you were taking up the rest," she retorts, flicking at his pinched fingers. honestly, it's a funny comparison that in casa, naomi flirted with angel on the first day and callie compared angel to her brother. now, angel feels like family to naomi and callie's railing him in the hideaway. his reaction to her request is so endearing, unexpected, especially because she would've never asked something like this of him – to be held – without prompting from producers. she feels so when he wraps his arms around her without question, almost feeling guilty that she'd pictured it like a challenge. "yeah," she nods, "everything's good, i swear." she makes eye contact with adela as she walks by and flashes her a grin and a tiny thumbs-up close to her chest, like, victory, bitch. "you can go now, if you want, i'm like, two seconds from crashing."

josh: he's walking by, minding his own business, used to the tangle of limbs that usually decorate the daybeds. but it's the sight of naomi's face that makes him do a double take, pressed against—fuck, what's that guy's name again? jenny's back-up guard dog, if last night was any indication of it. he doesn't mean to interrupt them, but by the time he recognizes what's going on he's stopped in front of the bed, eyes narrowed despite trying to not completely lose his cool. is this what having a girlfriend means, that she can press her ass against any other guy and it be okay? it doesn't help that he catches the tail end of the grin meant for adela, assuming it's because of angel. "what's so funny?" he asks, with only a little snark. he's trying to check himself, fully aware of how much of a mug he looks like right now, towering over them. "oh sorry, am i interrupting something? i can go." doesn't this guy have a girlfriend? ffs.

angel: it seems like naomi’s halfway to lullaby lane by the way she keeps her back to him, so he’s keen to give her the space she asks for. naturally, it’s then that josh throws a snarky (but only a little) shadow over them. angel’s aware of how it might look, he’s also aware that josh might still be bent out of shape by the presumably un-fun night he promoted for himself, so angel’s willing not to make matters worse. “no, no,” he tells josh as he carefully snakes his arm out from under naomi’s head before leaning over to smack a kiss against her cheek. “don’t throw me in a locker, i’m goin’, swear,” angel tries to show him a smile to imply his joke as he lifts himself off the daybed, then amiably taps josh’s arm. “she was just saying she was, like, mad tired. you two kids feel better, ‘kay?”

naomi: she has to fight the urge to literally facepalm when she hears josh's voice. she thought she'd been more tactical – trying to be quick about this while josh was inside somewhere so she could just regale him with the funny story about it later. maybe on the dance floor at tonight's party. "seriously, don't go," naomi's lips turn downward into a pout as she sits up a little on the daybed, positioning her arms so they push her chest up – like maybe he'll forget to be pissed (or at least he might forget to bother with angel) if she uses the right distraction. she reaches her hand out, beckoning him closer, "c'mere."

josh: "who, me?" a hand reaches out like he's gonna grab her, until it dramatically splays across his chest instead. his head makes a show of moving around, watching angel walk away (completely ignoring him as he got up) and looking around to see if there's anyone else nearby. "i thought you wanted him not to leave," he nods in angel's direction, voice a little too breezy. "it's okay, i can get someone else for you. dylan's gotta be around here somewhere."

naomi: jaw drops comically when he fakes her out, a scoff of disbelief on her lips as she tries to keep from grinning at him. naomi can't help but be amused by the dramatics, because from her vantage point, it's all so silly.  "oh my god, i literally just told him to go," she says, getting up on her knees so that she has the vantage point to try and reach for his hand again, to try and reel him back toward her. "don't be a prick," she's choosing not to play into the low blow any further than that considering the circumstances, "you might as well stick around because i'm not gonna let you go anywhere." she ducks her head slightly to hold his gaze, wishing there was a chill way to tell him to just trust her. "please," is her best attempt, a word she doesn't use too often. "stay."

josh: damnit, why is she smiling? now he wants to smile, momentarily forgetting the whole point of being mad at her for being pressed against some other dude, especially when she's looking up at him like that. stifling an exasperated groan in the back of his throat, he comes a little closer until his knees are nearly against the daybed, reaching down to hook two fingers to the bottom of her chin, drawing her a little closer. when she's looking at him like this, on her knees, it does help his mood. "you're not gonna let me go anywhere?" he scoffs, not sure if he should be entertained or annoyed. he's mostly the latter, but her shamelessness in this moment makes him feel like he's missing something. "you gonna tell me what the hell that was about?" his voice drops a little, not trying to make a scene of the scene he already caused.

naomi: "nope, no bailing now," she says this matter-of-factly, arms snaking around his waist as she rests her chin on his chest. there's still that smile tugging at the corners of her lips, especially as she watches him fight to keep his annoyed resolve. her gaze darkens a little as she looks up at him through her lashes, honestly a bit turned on that he's gotten all bothered about this – she wouldn't like the alternative. "josh," his name comes out like a sigh, though it's a little bit of a placeholder to give her an extra second to gather her words. "we were just laying out and talking, and i started falling asleep. like, it was a late night. i barely realized," she explains, as if she didn't specifically ask angel to hold her. but hey, she's already lying, so might as well. as hot as the edge to his voice is, she doesn't want him pissy at her all day over a stupid challenge. "i'm sorry, i totally wasn't thinking."

josh: josh sees through the puppy dog eyes, he really does. he can only assume that she's laying her charm on thick because she knows he's in the right and doesn't want to admit it. he just wishes that her look wasn't so effective on him, having to glance away to keep any semblance of cool, even if his hand reaches down to run his fingers through her hair—not particularly lightly. jaw tightens slightly at her comment, because it's not like he enjoys hearing that she was sleeping with some other dude, even if it was platonically (or he can only hope it was).  "he was putting you to sleep, then?" josh snorts (derogatory), finally looking back down at her. his hands move to grip the side of her face, two fingers pinching her cheek. "i'm also tired, you know," he says, voice low, "because someone kept me up all night. maybe i should go nap... you think adela's available for a spoon?"

naomi: a low, frustrated moan builds from the back of her throat as he tugs at her hair, surprising even herself with the sound – she didn't expect him to be so rough with her. maybe that's why she expected him to say something more possessive, rather than bringing up another girl. there's hurt that briefly flashes through her eyes before they fill with fire, aware that dare or not, she wouldn't have intended to hurt him. "angel and i are friends. he's just someone i'm comfortable around – it's platonic," she clarifies, because she hadn't really thought that she needed to until now. she doesn't make jokes about fucking him. "is that really what you want to do? you wanna go?" she hopes to call his bluff, her hand reaching up toward her face to touch his. "because i can find someone else to put their hands on me, but if you just don't want anyone else to touch, then say that," her voice is low, more honeyed than it is aggressive though it's not without a certain edge. naomi's gaze meets his as she guides his hand lower so that he can feel her pulse, the rise and fall of her chest – and then she reels back slowly, falling back onto the mattress so she's just propped up by her elbows, looking up at him with dark eyes. "so, which is it?"

josh: "adela and i are friends, too," he counters, "platonic." does platonic count if you wanted to fuck them at one point? it doesn't really matter, because josh thinks he can tell from the look in naomi's eyes that he had made his point. or maybe it's just because he doesn't actually want to go right now, the air between them crackling with intensity—the sexy kind. josh's eyes darken as he looks down at her, holding himself back from touching her exactly how he wants to right now, because of the vague recollection that they're in public. but it's hard for him not to want to react physically when she talks about other people touching her, even if josh knows she doesn't actually mean it. he can feel the rise and fall of her chest beneath the palm of his hand, his own breathing beginning to match hers, even their heartbeats feeling in sync. sometimes it feels like they know each other so well, josh can anticipate her moves; so when she abruptly pulls away to make her point, it doesn't even surprise him. her elbows have only touched the mattress for a beat before he's grabbing her by the ankle and pulling her towards the edge of the bed he's still standing in front of, so when he finally kneels onto it her body's pinned between him, and he's towering over her. "i wasn't aware i needed to clarify that, as your boyfriend." the word feels pointed, but it's only because josh is still trying it on for size. it fits like a new sweater, needing a few more cycles in the wash before it fits snug. "but fine," hands find hers to pin them against the mattress, fingers interlocking with her own, "i don't want anyone else to put their hands on you. least of all some fucking guy." sorry to angel, but he's just some dude. the bottom half of him leans down so their hips are pressed together, and josh gives her a serious look. "okay?"

naomi: god, she's going to owe angel such a massive apology later. if he'll even hear her out, that is, considering he's just been upgraded (or downgraded?) from mere challenge target to foreplay. she's got twice as much to talk to him about now. still, it's hard not to feel like she's won when josh's eyes go dark and he doesn't pull his hand away from her. naomi's usually turned on when josh is pissed, but usually she's pissed too and trying to hold back. this is kind of fun, feels like a new range of territory for them, and her eyes are charting out all of his mannerisms in a new light, the way his jaw tightens, raising the vein in his neck. there's a gasp from her lips that dissolves into surprised laughter as josh tugs her across the mattress, and she's equal parts turned on and amused by josh's macho display of bravado an utter seriousness over the whole situation – one that she has the perspective of knowing that there's absolutely nothing for him to worry about. she's so aware that he's absolutely going to kick himself over this later. naomi's quiet again as he leans closer, gaze flickering between his eyes and his mouth, not sure where to look as he pins her hands above her head. naomi's tongue swipes across her lips to wet them as she nods, wishing that she could lean up to kiss him in this moment, but she doesn't have the range of motion while she's pinned underneath him. her only weapon is her ability to carve her hips into his, which she does, slow and teasing. "okay, baby," her tone is placating, but a little breathless, "you're the only one." she has no idea if the rest of the villa can see them, but she does have the teeniest bit of self-awareness, and interest in more privacy. "now," her tone is measured, wrists tugging lightly to test his grip, "will you take me inside and prove it?"

josh: they go inside and bang.

[gunkreads]

I think I’m actually going to be quite brief (future gunk here: “so that was a fucking lie”) about Seven Blades in Black by Sam Sykes, given how much I enjoyed it. Putting my critique goggles on is revealing it to be more derivative and flawed than I felt while reading.

This book is one of those “bear with me” kinds of stories. It presents a very over-the-top, indulgent, hamfisted approach to what is, in my opinion, fundamentally a very simple story. It’s an American Western revenge story with a pretty solid magical world laid over it. If you’ve ever seen The Outlaw Josey Wales--it’s genuinely kinda like that. However, as I’ll explain in about three paragraphs, this isn’t exclusively criticism.

The author has a bit of fun with the whole format of “protagonist telling a character a story in-universe” and plays very simply with unreliable narration (”simply” meaning it’s easy to tell when something’s narrated unreliably and the factual truth is pretty apparent). I feel kind of mean making this comparison, but it’s an all-around clumsier and less-artful version of Patrick Rothfuss’ style. That’s not necessarily to say it’s clumsy--though you may find it to be--but the book is... not the most elegant thing I’ve ever read.

Its setting is very fun--basically, the protagonist Sal is fucking around in the “no-man’s-land” area of this big war going on between a corrupted and rotting Empire and a fascist Revolution. Not exactly the newest thing on the block, and the reasons for the war aren’t necessarily that original either. There are some extra layers to it, but those would have to come up in later books, if at all.

Sal as a character is very fun to read, and there’s a particular phenomenon in the book’s prose that makes her that way. See, there’s this piece of writing advice that sticks in my brain like a shard of glass that goes something like “not every line has to be a masterpiece, or an emotional revelation, or a dust jacket quotable.” Personally, I don’t like this mindset, because I believe that striving for an impossible standard is the only way to find out how far Zeno’s Paradox goes when chasing perfection. Sykes doesn’t seem to like it either; his book is written like every single paragraph is supposed to make you have a physical reaction. It doesn’t land every time--in fact, early in the book, it’s so annoying that I almost put it down--but eventually you come to a realization: it’s fun to watch someone try to reach for the impossible.

Sykes really, really wants everything Sal says and thinks to be a tooth-cracking showstopper. In chasing this ideal, he necessarily misses most of the time. However, he chases the idea with a kind of earnestness that I rarely see in fantasy. I actually think that Sykes does “gruff antihero” the same way Sara Douglass does “highfalutin paragon of justice” or Tolkien does “unbreakable brotherly bonds”: with an absolute commitment to and love for the concept that allows you (or at least me) to forgive any misses (this is not commentary on whether Douglass or Tolkien miss on these).

I found myself cringing at this book pretty frequently up to about the end of the first act. It took a while to get a handle on how far Sykes was going to take this writing style. After that point, though, it grew on me enough that I realized he did the same thing that Pierce Brown does that I love so much: they create a world where People Just Talk Like That.

See, there’s this magical thing in fiction called “internal consistency”. If something does not align with reality, but aligns with a work of fiction the same way every time, it becomes real within that fiction. This is why “acting out of character” and “plot holes” are such an issue: they dive in the way of our suspension of disbelief. Internal consistency creates and aids suspension of disbelief. Have you ever heard a white guy from Seatlle say “y’all”? It’s the fictional equivalent of that. He doesn’t fucking talk that way. Why’s he doing it now? Sykes has People Just Talk Like That 24/7/365 and it lets you suspend your disbelief in a way that you couldn’t if he just doled out the hard-hitting lines once in a while. Keeps congruity in the prose.

Once again, this isn’t to say Sykes is consistently good at it. He goes overboard a lot, asking me to find gravity in things that are decidedly low-gravity or asking me to laugh or cry over things that I didn’t already want to. However, the through-line of over-the-top narration works.

Wanna know why it works? Because Sal, who’s constantly shown to be a dickhead with her entire skull shoved up her own ass (love those kinds of characters btw), is narrating. Of course this egotistical asshat wants you to think everything she does is the coolest thing ever. She’s even telling the story to someone who’s going to execute her--there’s no reason to put the brakes on. Of course, this is all a choice made by Sykes, so everything leads back to that, but it’s there in-universe.

The action in this book is fun. It’s not amazing in a kinetic way, but it has pretty stellar setpieces and never feels pointless. Sal navigates violence and chaos in a very entertainingly Nathan Drake kind of way--taking her licks in a mad dash to either safety or whatever she came here to do. The action tends to be of a very physical variety, with plenty of gory details and a solid dash of body horror mixed in.

However, here’s a pretty chunky issue with Sal’s character: her motivations do not feel consistent. I get that this is meant to reflect her complicated feelings about her current life path, but there were a lot of points where I didn’t understand why she took the hard path when the easy one seemed so obvious (and often had been pointed out by her). It felt like sometimes she took the hard path for one reason, but later she took the easy path for that exact same reason. The context had changed, sure, but it didn’t change that much. Just something to watch out for.

BUT ALL THAT SAID.

I had a really good time reading this book. If you like anything gritty and grimy and bombastic and dark and fun, I think you’ll enjoy Seven Blades in Black. It’s brain candy, for sure, and it’s a little more on top of that. It’s got all the same things right with it as Kings of the Wyld, just with a few more things wrong. A very fun choice and a good book to slap up on your in-progress pile while taking breaks from more serious reads.

[baladric]

🎈💥🕯️<-- that's meant to be the fandom/social one, the candle emoji is there twice for me (???) and also please don't feel bad for being Earnest it is wonderful and makes me feel more excited about like, being alive in a world where people care deeply about things

see, i agree re: earnestness, it's just didn't know that when it's ME doing it, it's CRINGE? (a;lkdfjalwfd this is a callout for my own fallacious internal voice) thank u and i love u!!!!!!

🎈 Describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

ohh this is a good one! i'd say it's a little of both? i notice that my rhythm and diction change depending on what sort of genre i'm writing in or the fandom i'm writing for (my goblin emperor stuff is less florid than, say, my raven cycle fic, and far crunchier than all the unfinished stranger things shit in my docs, which is a lot punchier and quippier [and VIOLENT ;alkdfjwd and ohh what a weird discovery to find that i enjoy writing physical fights]) but! my motivations as a writer stay the same through each piece! anyone who read both my v old king falls am fic and, say, sweet hope (a person that i doubt exists, since these are both WAY too niche) would see that underneath the very different language and social dynamics, the thing i'm really committed to the bit for is healing and vulnerability (and music as essential catharsis). that said, i will always, always abuse the humble adverb a;lkdfjlaw;djsl

💥 Find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

least kudos'd is this charming man, for whom i will say: this is Punchy, Funny and so evocative of the very very important conceit of First Nohecharis Codependency. honestly i'm still very fond of this one!!!

🕯️ Was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

surprising probably no one—yes, sweet hope destroyed me. i say in the intro notes to it that it took me 10 months to write, and i'm not lying when i say that a good 2/3 of that time was me refusing to write anything at all because i wrote myself into a corner and broke my own trust in my writing. that story started as a fairly surface level story about fair turnabout—maia, learning to ask for help, and then csevet being forced into a very ugly position that demanded he figure out how to accept help—and it was, to be mean to myself, very fucking contrived and Not Good. i wrote about 25k words of it, looked back at it at the end of one writing session, and then deleted everything but the first half of the first chapter (so that was about 22k words hucked into the ether) and didn't write for about 5 months. it was awful, but my weirdly routine January Writing Frenzy last year yanked a pearl in my hand out of me in a very harried couple of days, and that not only restored my trust in myself, but like. tripled it, at least, and that's when i came back to sweet hope and it became what it is—which, for all the grumbly things i can and do say about it, is still a rose in my mind. lovely and complete and tender, and i do love where it went and what it became. it surprised me again and again, and it made me three times the writer i was, and i'm so grateful for every minute of its conception.

fic writer ask meme!