#i mean sometimes it’s like she straight up doesn’t give a single shit about him and like???

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#399

“Oh man, Fuck!...  Oh sorry you had to hear that call.  Didn’t mean to interrupt you enjoying your brew.  It’s just that my girlfriend makes me so fucking pissed off….  Get this, she knows I work 14 days straight busting my ass on that drilling rig.  I am about to head home for four days of rest.  That’s a 7-hour drive, each way.  So she tells me that her sister and mother are in town staying with us.  My days of relaxing are shot to shit.  And worse yet there’s no way I’m getting her pussy.  I probably won’t even get head.  Ain’t that shit?...

“Oh sorry.  I forget that I’m not with a dozen or so other roughnecks out in the field.  All they talk about is pussy.  Most of them don’t have a girlfriend, let alone a wife.  Hearing them go on and on about fucking and getting a blow job, I forget that other people might talk about something else.

“My god, I just wanted to get home and kick back with a beer and get some head.  You know the kind of blowjob that goes on for an hour and it relaxes your entire body.  That doesn’t even include blowing your wad.  You know what I’m talking about?

“Oh there I go again.  Sorry if I’m telling too much....  I do that when I start drinking.   Do you care if I talk about getting blown?...  Good.  Thought so.  What man doesn’t want head at the end of weeks of working damned hard? 

“…Here’s to blowjobs!  Cheers! 

“Hey Frank! Get my friend here another beer….  Nah!  Put your money away.  I got this. 

“So your car broke down?...  We are one of two taverns for twenty miles.  The other is by the interstate one mile away.  At this time of day it’s quite deserted.  We typically only get locals in here.  That is, unless you are having work done at Mike Larson’s garage.  There’s not that much out here, just the garage, Frank’s tavern, the lodge, and the oilfield’s main office over there across the creek.  Was I right?  Is it your car?

“…That was not a happy nod.  So, you’re here for tonight… Oh wait, the garage is closed for the weekend.  You are here until Monday?  …Again, that nod tells me everything.  Well to make matters worse, there are no available women for at least 50 or 60 miles.  This is what this hellhole has to offer. 

“I don’t know about you but it looks like it’s going to be an evening of pounding the pud.  And when I get done, I’ll use my other hand to make it feel like I’m getting a handjob from someone else.

“Goddamn my girlfriend fucked this all up.  I only had this weekend off, before I have to report back here to start filling in for a bud on Wednesday.  She thought that I would want to spend time with her fucking family.  Sometimes I wonder why I’m still with her.

“You have a wife or girlfriend?... 

“…Huh!  Well, sometimes I wish I was like you, single.  But sometimes I really need to get my balls drained.  She gives great head though.  She’s the only girlfriend I had who can take my head in her throat.  I have a big schlong, and every woman I dated complained about its size.  It takes her a long time to throat me.  Most of the time I get frustrated, and I wind up grabbing her head and fucking her mouth.  Eventually it ends in her throat.  She has never taken me down to the root.

“But I really have to be buzzed to get into skull fucking the bitch.  The part she really hates is me dick slapping her.  As I said, I have a gigantic dick.  Smacking her upside her head with my cock usually throws her off balance.  So does a face slap with my hand. 

“When I get in the zone, I am all kinds of aggressive.  I am only after one thing, to bust my nut.  If that means roughing up the bitch, then she’s going to get roughed up.  If I’m drunk enough, I’ll not only fuck her cunt, but she’ll take me in her ass.

“Right now, if she were here, I would be fucking her in every position in every hole.  I wouldn’t care if she was enjoying it.  I’m so fucking horny.  I would use any woman right now.  I can’t have a weekend of jerking off.  Hell, if there was a faggot, I would use him the same way. 

“And it’s a good thing that I have a faggot sitting not ten feet away from me, paying attention to every word I say, licking his lips every time I mention blowjobs, and responding with awkward silence when I asked if he had a bitch back home.  No straight man acts this way.

“I would ask you if you are a cock sucking faggot, but we both know the answer.  Don’t we?  So this is what is going to happen.  I’m going to walk over there, to the men’s toilet.  You want my fat hog in your faggot throat, you follow me in.  Don’t say a word.  Get on your faggot knees and open your faggot mouth. 

“I’ll give you until I drain my piss.  If you don’t come in at that time, then you better be out of here and hide in your room at the lodge.

“I really got to piss, so you don’t have much time….

“…Well fuck.  I would have thought you would have taken some time to think about it.  But OK.

“I really have to piss.  While I do that get in the stall and on your knees.  Be ready for me.  I swear, the beers just pour right through me.  Oh, this feels good—

“What the fuck?  I’m not done pissing….  Oh?  So, you are one of those kinds of faggots.  Nasty piss drinking faggot!  Oh fuck, your mouth feels good.  You are definitely getting a reaction out of my hog.  That’s it for my piss for now.

“Faggot, see how big it is?  You think you can take it?

“Jesus fuck!  Right to the root with no problem!  Holy shit.  You faggots know what you are doing.  Oh man.  This is… fuck!  Oh my god! 

“Bob up and down.  Go head-to-root-to-head-to-root.  Fuck!  This is the blowjob I have been looking for all my life.  Lucky me I found me a faggot with car problems.

“Pull off.  I said, ‘Pull off!’  Look up at me.  Hold still…. 

“…What?  Nothing?  I just gave you one of the hardest bitch slaps I have ever given and you just take it….  Wait, what did you just say?  Did you just thank me… for bitch slapping you?

“Get up.  Get your faggot-ty ass up.  Let’s go.  Move!

“We are going to my room at the lodge.  You are going to spend your night with me. 

“Pay Frank your tab and leave a good tip.  Meet me outside…  A fifty?  You know what a good tip is, that or you didn’t care to wait for him to give you change.

“OK faggot.  I have never used a fag before.  But damn, that one minute in the toilet told me I have been missing out. 

“Over here.  I’m the last room.  The lodge is free for us roughnecks.  The company pays for our housing.  My room is at the end.  It’s a glorified motel room.  I have tons of beer.  You won’t get any, at least not without it going through me first.  Never did that before, but fuck I liked it.

“I plan on being here for four days.  You are going to spend your time with me and my cock down your throat.  You probably take it up your ass.  I will definitely try that out.

“Now listen up.  I have no interest in you or your dick.  I ain’t sucking you or getting fucked by you.  You try anything like that, and I will beat the shit out of you.  Understand me?...  Understand me faggot?

“And keep up the ‘Yes Sir!’  I like the sound of that.  Here we are.  Faggot this is all new for me.  But I will tell you this, I am liking what has been done so far.  I’m so ready to do this.  My cock has not lost it’s hard on.  I may never go back.  Faggot get inside and strip!”

[tinytennisskirt]

hi i love all of your writing! i wanted to request something angsty for patrick :) i know you’re prob tired of writing this trope but something like he’s not used to having someone who cares about him but when he meets the reader, things shift. he’s madly in love but you break up with him maybe reader doesn’t think it’s going anywhere or something stupid and so his feelings are hurt so he gets super mean and disrespectful in a heated argument but you feel bad because it really just meant he truly loved reader and he doesn’t know how to cope

sorry if this is stupid lolllll

Patrick and His Pattern

patrick zweig x bestfriend turned lover!reader

summary: as requested above^ (it is NOT stupid please give me more if you see this)

warnings: mentions of physical violence (done to patrick, not him doing it, don't worry), mentions of drinking, kissing, a little smut tbh, angst, a fight, patrick being mean and a breakup

You knew Patrick wasn’t a relationship guy. When you were just friends you’d watch him get girl after girl. They were girls who would be around every now and then- they never liked you. One after the next they either got hurt by him or left because of his communication problems, his over-friendliness, and sometimes how he acted with you was enough to leave. 

They were right to leave because of you. Because it was a little obvious that Patrick liked you, he was always hanging out with you, always talking about you, always on his way to see you, or busy with you when they’d call. He’d kiss them, go on a few dates with them, fuck them, but they never lasted. 

They weren’t the good kind of girls either, the kind that also had sidepieces, the kind who were rude to old people and the homeless, girls who didn’t care all that much about how they treated anyone, but expected to be treated well by him. It made sense, opposites attract and aside from his love life, Patrick was a great guy. Your best friend. He was fun and as much as he pretended not to, he cared. 

Art swore to you the person you know him as is not the person he used to be but without anything to compare him to before meeting you, you had no idea. He was just Patrick. Patrick who would come over and watch whatever you put on the tv, showing up at your door with chips or something to drink. Patrick who would share his last cigarette with you. Patrick who could and would only make waffles for you whenever you stayed over. Who was he before? 

The thing about the women who left was that no matter how much Patrick gave off the idea that he cared, it’s that he didn’t. He was cheated on and he barely batted an eye, the truth unraveled in front of you at his place, his now-ex talking about the guy she cheated on him with and Patrick didn’t do so much as look at her. The same thing with another girl. She was leaving him because he didn’t spend enough time with her, slightly blaming you- she never cared about him, but she had to make him feel like shit when she left. And he just looked at her and told her to go. With every breakup story he had, he was okay. No big emotions. No reason to have them. They were just girls, they came and they went and they were never right. He left, they left, he left, they left, and he never cared about a single one enough to talk about her the next day.

One of them hit him hard one day during a breakup and he went straight to you, didn’t even bother to clean up where the rings on her fingers had done the most damage, he just wanted to see you. He was tired, he admitted. Tired of the cycle he was in and you brought him in, no questions asked. 

“Did she have brass knuckles on? This is bad,” you grimaced, pressing a cool, wet cloth to his face. He winced and you bit your lip. 

“Rings.” He replied, scrunching his face a little at the cloth pressed to his cheekbone. “It’s fine.” 

“It’s not fine,” you rebounded. Your opposite hand held his jaw and cheek to keep the pressure from turning his head. You smelled good, he noted to himself. And you were in your pajamas, no bra, just a tank top and loose shorts, your hair up. “Patrick, she was out of her mind to hit you over her emotions. It’s just immature. You deserve someone who genuinely cares and is gentle with you. I know you’re a guy and all that bullshit about seeming tough, but have you ever not felt the need to be tough?” 

He looked at you, met your eyes. He’d only ever felt that with you. You took care of him, you made sure he had groceries, you came over and made food, you cleaned when he didn’t feel like it, you took care of him and the price he paid was your truth and a few little arguments now and then. You were kind and beautiful and you were cleaning his wound right now. “I’m not trying to be tough. It hurts like hell, but I’m fine that she’s gone.” You mumbled something incoherent under your breath and he just half-caught it. “What was that?” 

“Nothing,” you replied, sitting back. You peeled open a little bandaid, gently putting some polysporin on it. “I’m glad you don’t need stitches.” 

“Me too,” he said, feeling something shift. “I’m sorry I came over here and woke you up.” 

You smiled a little, “I was barely asleep, it’s okay. You know you’re welcome anytime, you have a key.” 

“I just… it’s another stupid girl.” 

“I know. Hopefully your last.” You giggled, leaning forward and gently placing two bandaids across his cheekbone. Your fingers felt cool against his skin, hot from the injury. You gently smoothed down the ends, your face close to his. “That feel oka-” You barely got the words out. He kissed you there and then. 

It came as a surprise, the kiss. But the feelings had been there for a while in both of you, so you melted into it almost immediately, like a sigh of relief. All those girls had been completely right to hate you, Patrick was way too into you to really, truly be into them. His hands were strong, their placement perfect on your jaw, holding your face. He kissed you in a way that avoided his now-bandaged wound, but he held you as close as he could, pulling you onto his lap. You had nothing to protest as his tongue slipped into your mouth, the kiss suddenly deeper, more passionate. You’d have been lying if  you said you hadn’t thought about this or had been jealous of the girls you knew had kissed him. You found it hard to excuse the thought of the other girls on his lips as you kissed him, but the kiss itself was worth it. Patrick’s brain only had one focus and it was you- how would you know that this kiss was different for him? This kiss was everything to him. 

His hands slid down your neck, down over your shoulders and his hands then travelled down your waist, resting in the crook of it. It was long and it was passionate and though you were on his lap, he didn’t grab anything but your waist. Maybe your hips just a little but it was all just you. And it was just kissing. His mouth didn’t trail off anywhere, he just kissed you. He just wanted to kiss you. 

So the cycle in him came to an end in you. You were where the cycle went to die and he knew that. You started going out as something more than friends. You’d go to the diner, laugh, and he kissed you outside the building,  inside, and in the car before driving you home. He usually came in, but he didn’t that night. He went home and he thought about you like some hopeless, sick romantic. You called, he was happy about that, and you talked almost all night. 

You were over at his a lot more after that. And it was on it’s way to becoming the longest relationship out of his recent escapades that he was now leaving far behind him. In his head he kept thinking that you are it. You’re the one, you’re the girl who will genuinely be the last and he’s known you forever, so when the word love comes up in his brain, it’s you. The relationship is new, but it’s you. You’re it. 

He drank a lotttt over that. Thinking love was crazy, fucking stupid, fucking impossible to say to a girl you just started dating a month ago. Crazier to admit that it was his best friend that he loved and that you were now his and he could say that potentially… sometime. Was it even him? He didn’t think he could love anyone or even that anyone could love him. Nobody had ever treated him the way you did. You did all the things you did as his best friend but it was never truly platonic and now you did it more, you cared more, you kissed his forehead. His fucking forehead. And it was amazing and unlike anything he’d ever felt in his lifetime. Better than sex, better than any drug he’d ever taken. Though sex with you was a whole other story…

He’d only ever imagined it, but the first time it was real, about two weeks in, you had him entranced. The way you crawled over him, kissing him as you sank down onto him. Moaned when he called you pretty, called you his. His fingertips digging into your hips as you bounced on him, feeling you entirely in a way he’d never known so completely. Not only being buried deep inside of you, so warm, so fucking perfect, but feeling your closeness, your skin, your scent. Your voice in his ear enough to make him groan out obscenities and nasty little strings of words in your favour. Everything about it was so perfect and after that, both of you couldn’t get enough and it was routine for a few times a day, even. Neither of you minded, it was fucking amazing the way his fingers could move and he was pleased with how good you were overall.

But that aside, he loved being with you. More than anything. You were still his best friend, but he could kiss you on the cheek and slap your ass when you were cooking dinner, he could randomly grab you and kiss you when you were talking too much, he could and you took care of him. You slept with your head on his chest and he’d never felt his heart beat faster at such a simple act. 

You, however, as much as you loved being around him, could not get those many many girls out of your head. They haunted you. They’d showered in his shower, they’d eaten his food, lounged on his couch, held the remote, practically touched everything you had touched and that included Patrick. It was good and it was really good, but you couldn’t stop thinking about them. They’d all left for different reasons but they’d all been here. 

Patrick held you tight when you got home from work, silent. The moment before, he had told you he ordered chinese and you hugged him back, letting his arms envelope you. Every day it got harder to ignore the fact everything he did with you, he did with not just one other girl, but so many. You could enjoy the hug, you always liked those. His kiss to your neck was so casual and lack-of-sexual that it almost killed you to be haunted by so many of these past women. Feeling like all of them were watching, like ghosts in the room. You could almost see them walking around his place, touching everything, fucking on everything, his bed that you had a side on, they slept on that side too. 

Sometimes he’d come home late and your stomach would turn so much you’d sit on the edge of his bathtub expecting to be sick. You’d never felt so anxious over anything like this before with anyone you’d ever dated and you wanted Patrick more than anything, but it kept happening. You found a spare toothbrush and in your head, you hurt yourself thinking that maybe it belonged to another girl. That his habits had not gone away, that he was still doing what he always did. You began to live with a near-constant stomachache. Always. It was bad and you knew that. But you kept it to yourself, letting it eat at you, slowly kill you. 

He’d still go to bars, he’d still come home drunk to you, but you always wondered if you were imagining that he smelled different (you were). He was more than head over heels and so were you adn that was the problem. You cared so much, too much, when before, it wasn’t your place to care about that and you could live ignorant. Ignorance used to be bliss, but the knowing and the caring was torment. Patrick felt you pulling back. It was hard to ignore at a certain point when you were upset or feeling sick and wouldn’t explain it. 

“Okay, come on, it’s not nothing, it can’t be nothing. You’re pissed, tell me why?” 

“It’s nothing,” you retaliated, trying to avoid conflict so you could enjoy being in his arms still. Above all, above all the girls that were all equal devils on your shoulders, feeding horrible thoughts into your brain almost all hours of the day, was that you were afraid that he could just end things at any moment. You didn’t want to lose him. But it was a pattern that you knew well, observed up close, now were living in. His cycle didn’t seem all that gone… you couldn’t see into his head. “I promise.” 

“No, fuck that. Tell me.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Bullshit, you can’t. You can, you just won’t. I want to hear it.” He said, standing on his side of the couch, hands out, palms up. “Come on.” 

You shook your head, your nausea creeping up. You pressed a hand to your stomach, “Patrick, I don’t want to get into this right now. Can we go to bed?” You picked up the pillow you’d put on the couch for a nap earlier. 

“Go to bed?” He followed your movement with footsteps just ahead of your pace. “No. I’m not sleeping on this again. Every time I come home you’re all standoffish and you act like I’ve done something wrong and I want to know what it is.” It was wrong, but as you held the pillow, you felt like you could hear the words of every girl who had ever laid their conventionally attractive heads down on it. You dropped it to your feet and shut your eyes. “Y/N. Come on. Spit it out.” 

“Spit it out?”  

“You know what I mean. Come on. You should be able to tell me what the fuck I did wrong if I’m doing it so often. So you know, spit it out. Give it to me straight, how hard is that?” The words kept slipping out, but the truth was that Patrick was terrified. You were everything, you were it, he loved you, he just hadn’t said it yet. He hid his shaking hand the best he could with his big gestures as he spoke and he hid the tremor that threatened to crack his voice by raising it. He sounded bad. He sounded rude, he knew that, but what else could he do but fight? He was fighting to communicate for the first time in his fucking life. 

You were quiet. You pursed your lips and you looked around his apartment. And then it came, like a blow to his chest. “Patrick, I don’t think I can do this anymore.” 

His whole stature changed, softened. “Don’t think you can do what anymore?” He asked. There was no way around this now, you had to face it head on. Patrick felt cold, his entire body felt like it had been submerged in icewater and then set in a freezer. This was you, this wasn’t anyone else leaving this was you. He wanted you to stay, you had to stay, you were it. 

You shut your eyes and slowly let out your breath, “This. Us. Patrick, I’m so sorry, but I just… I can’t.” 

“Why?” He said, voice not matching how he felt. It came out firm, harsh. He felt weak. Dazed. This wasn’t real, it wasn’t happening, you were different, you were the end of his cycle. 

“You know I care about you, but I knew who you were before we were together and I tried to ignore it, but I can’t. I can’t ignore all the women you’ve been with, I can’t unsee them in every place I look, even when I look at you, all I see is them. I know it’s absurd and it’s entirely crazy, but that’s why.” You admit wholeheartedly. 

Patrick laughed, he laughed and he felt insane for it. “You don’t trust me?” He deducted. “Bullshit. That’s bullshit and you know it. You think I’m playing you? What evidence is there, I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since I kissed you.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed, “That’s not-” 

“It’s bullshit, okay? Nobody else has been here since you, you know that.” He said, voice still raised. He hated how much he wanted to yell at you, he hated yelling at you, but he wanted it in your head. “There’s no other girls. What the fuck, Y/N? We’re fine and all of a sudden you want to get up and leave? Did you think about it at all?” 

“Patrick…” 

“I don’t give a fuck. I can’t deal with this, I don’t want another excuse, I can’t. You’re leaving, you don’t think this is working? Fine, goodbye.” He said, dismissing you, walking around you to his bedroom but you stopped him. He hated dismissing you, he hated saying goodbye, he hated being angry, he hoped you would stop him and hug him and apologize or say something like a solution but no. 

“Stop, you don’t get to be like that,” you said, folding your arms. “It’s your pattern, Patrick. I knew who you were before we were dating and I can’t convince myself that things will be different with me. I love being your friend, I care about you so fucking much, but I can’t be with you if I’m constantly sick about when you come home or what girls on the street I have to compare myself with or worry about if I’ll run into one of your exes at the store… it is driving me insane. I can’t be with you if I’m constantly afraid I’m going to end up hurt.” You said. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just can’t stop thinking about the pattern.” 

He looked at you as if you shoved a dagger through his chest. Through his heart. 

“I want to believe you’ve changed. I really wholeheartedly do, but I am so scared Patrick. I’m scared that every little thing I do will remind you of them and you won’t ever be free from them and that means I won’t either.” 

His chest hurt. The dagger felt physical. Like you had wedged it into his heart. He had never felt like this about any of them and that was for sure. The same sureness that had guided him to being with you. You were so different, he would never cheat, he would hardly lie unless necessary, he was yours entirely. He had changed, but the circumstances of his past lifestyle was because he was so in love with you, the girls came and went and they were never right because it was always you. And now in having so many women to bury his thoughts of you, they were coming back to bite him and they weren’t even around. The coldness in his body turned to heat as the anger rose in his chest. He fucked this up for himself. It was his own fault. 

“You don’t want me, that’s fine. Go fuck a virgin or something, see if I care.” He replied. Your expression went flat and cold, sentiment gone from your eyes. He was so frustrated with this he was saying things he didn’t mean. Things that slipped out of pure anger toward himself for not being able to change things. “It’s not like I saw this going anywhere anyways. You’re obsessed with girls you hardly knew.”

You pressed your lips together. “That’s fucking mean, Patrick.” Your eyes began to well up with tears. 

“Yeah, imagine being on my end of things. A pattern, give me a fucking break, I broke that pattern for you. I don’t need your crocodile tears right now. You want to leave so fucking badly, I want you out.” He said. Cold. His face felt hot. He felt like yelling as loud as he could, he felt like crying, his hands were still shaking. He just stared at you, his heart breaking in his chest at his own words. Things he didn’t mean, defensive, awful things he wouldn’t have ever dreamed of having the capacity to say to you. You took care of him, you treated him so well, you opened up about your feelings and you were met with this monster he became out of his own insecurity. He knew the problem was himself, he knew he was an asshole. A jerk. A complete dick. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll go,” you said, trying so hard not to cry. It broke his heart more, he wanted to hold you, apologize, kiss your face a hundred times over until you forgave him, but he couldn’t. What he just said was vile and unforgettable. He couldn’t forgive himself for that. Your arms dropped to your sides and you grabbed your sweater and your keys and you were doing all you could, your face burning trying to hold in the tears. You looked at him where he stood and you were thinking to yourself, had he ever given this much of a fuck over a breakup? 

You’d never seen him bat an eye, he always recovered in seconds. They could say horrible, vulgar things to him and he was fine. He stayed unphased even in the worst of times. He just told them to grab their shit and go at most. He never had so much to say. And part of you felt bad. That this is the time he fought. The first time he had ever fought with a girl who was leaving. It made a difference, it almost made you stay and ask why. Why did he fight? Why was he so fucking mean? He hadn’t been mean to any girl who had ever walked out that door for a final time. 

You knew why. You knew you were different. As much as you hated knowing it, it didn’t change the fact that there were so many women before you that haunted you. It was a you problem you didn’t know how to fix and you had broken his heart. You tried so hard not to cry, knowing what you knew. He genuinely cared this time. He didn’t want you to go, he was mean out of insecurity and instability. 

You bit your lip to keep from sobbing, looking at him one last time before leaving, shutting the door behind you. He wanted to rush and open that door, catch you before you left and fix things, but you were leaving regardless of what he said. What use would it have been? It killed him hearing you let out a sob in the hallway, thinking he couldn’t hear. It pierced through his chest backwards and forwards, twisting the knife, even. He couldn’t help the rush of heat that came from behind his eyes. Patrick Zweig, a grown man, sat on his couch in his now-empty apartment and he cried. Not just out of sadness, but out of frustration. You were it, you were supposed to be the end of this cycle, you were going to be the one that stayed. Just earlier this morning he’d kissed your temple to wake you up, he’d made you eggs before work and he kissed you, arms around your waist before you headed out. You’d smiled at him and he didn’t have a clue in the world that you’d be leaving. And he had no idea he would end it, burn it all down the way he did. 

You were supposed to be different. And in the end you were. He fought, even if it wasn’t conventional, for you. It frustrated him beyond all means, he couldn’t change anything, he couldn’t change how you felt. He couldn’t change the fact his bed was empty the next morning. It was empty and it was cold and he had slept with one of your cardigans, not letting it go the entire night. He hoped you’d called. He hoped you wanted to fix things, but you never did and you wouldn’t. Not after what he said. He could regret and regret and regret all he wanted. But you weren’t coming back. You weren’t even his best friend anymore. He didn’t see you at all, you blocked him on facebook. For the first time in his life as some sort of player, his heart was broken beyond any means of repair. No amount of copious drinking or weed could ever erase the fact he didn’t have you and wouldn’t… ever again. 

You heard about how bad he was without you from some mutual friends. Heard he wasn’t doing well, that all he talked about was you. You were all he drank about. Part of you knew you couldn’t stay angry with him for what he said or how he acted, you knew him so well. You knew you couldn’t go back no matter how much you loved him or missed him, because for the first time in his life, he reacted to being left. He was finally feeling something. There was something so fucking bittersweet about that, almost poetic. He thought he broke his pattern in one way, but really he broke it in another. So you had to let it be. 

taglist: @kaaaiiaaa @swetearss @ellzbellz18 @reallycreativeusername @lalalandofive @xoxog0ssipg1rl

[isackwhy]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLV6Tges/

We need some girldad!nick hcs bc this is so cute😭 (“The thought of having a daughter doesn’t warm your heart? That warms my heart”)

nick just screams good older brother to a little sister which means he also screams girl dad so yes ofc ofc

softwilly girldad! hc’s!!!!

before that baby girl is even born he’s all about her

at the gender reveal when it lit up pink

you’ve never seen this man with wider eyes

he jumped so high and ran to hug u, nearly tackling u over and then kissed u. and kissed ur baby bump

when your daughter was born he cried for like 5 hours straight just staring at the both of u

spoiled. she’s so spoiled

has expensive jewelry that won’t even fit her till she’s like 6 but he says he can’t wait to give them to her

every little plushie she even glances at he buys

he’s the reason her toddler bed is stuffed w plushies by the time she’s 3

shit can barely fit her

he’s speaks to her so gently

“no, no, it’s okay sweetie. it’s just water. look, i can clean it.”

“my princess. look at you!”

u just melt every time

the boys also spoil her

there’s their daughter too i fear

sometimes he just stares at your daughter like playing in the yard or w bento and then at u and is like

“you guys are the best thing to ever happen to me”

u start crying everytime

u have to remind him that she can walk bc he just loves holding her

buys her those cute princess dresses. no questions asked.

“she needs actual clothes, nick.”

“she looks great as elsa!”

i’d imagine he’d show her his favorite video games so she ends up w a love for video games and they always play like kids games tg of course

when she’s way older though u bet ur ass you’ll hear them both screaming over some fps game

basically every single photo in is phone is of u. ur daughter or bento. or the three of u guys tg.

or bento ur daughter when they fall asleep together on the couch

very protective

gives the typical “now. u be careful w them boys” speech when she gets older

will research every partner ur daughter brings home like a detective and her uncles are definitely helping him do it

i have to pack so this is short i’m sorry AHSDHHF

[zincsishere]

The lilymation and think before you sleep drama

...why is the world filled with CUNTS??? Another reason why I don't really share my opinions with people.

This is for the lily fan to keep supporting her and attacking the people in my comments with the rude insults. leave them alone!!

My point with this whole thing is:

1. Lily is in the wrong. You DO NOT send other people to attack someone, no matter what they said about you! You guys are assholes! (I'm talking to a certain amount of people). Just because you don't agree with someone politically or you don't agree with someone at all doesn't mean you attack them or try to affect their source of income when they didn't DO ANYTHING. Sharing your opinion shouldn't be a death sentence.

If you don't agree with someone, try to talk to them first and see if they're worth arguing with in the first place. Most of the people that I was arguing with made the argument pointless and meaningless. It just became a dick measuring contest that I got swept into. I'm an angsty, emotional 14-year-old, and sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me and say shit that I shouldn't be saying. That is my fault, and I'm trying to stop doing that. I'm going to encounter a lot of bad people in my life. That doesn't mean I have to get down and start arguing and fighting with them. Most people just want to fight because they want to fight.

This is more of a personal opinion, but I will say it anyway.

2. TBYS wasn't offensive, and I don't even have to defend him. He defended himself. He made a video explaining himself with evidence to show that he wasn't acting like an asshole or being malicious; he was just giving advice.

This drama is old, but I need to set the record straight. Having opinions (that are well supported with evidence) doesn't make you an asshole, and it doesn't mean you should be attacked! People were trying to show me that he was a "bad guy."

But the evidence they showed me was bullshit. He didn't insult them. He didn't say anything rude. He wasn't doing anything worthy of cancellation. Like I said, I won't accept BS from someone just because I like them. ( aka Melanie Martinez < allegedly sexually abuse someone > and Ariana < she wrecked a relationship then made a song about it saying that she doesn’t care >) If there were something worth incriminating him about, I would've stopped being a fan. But, as I said before, just because someone might be an asshole doesn't mean they deserve to be harassed.

No matter how many times I fucking say this, NO ONE IS LISTENING. DON'T FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! No one deserves to get hurt or harassed just because of their opinions! "BUT HE SAID-😟😟" "BUT HE DOESN'T SUPPORT—😡😡" "HE'S A BIGOT—-👹👹👹" (coming from someone who has never watched a single fucking video)

Respect... shut up, please. I don't care if you like the guy or not, but what Lily did is not acceptable, and you can't defend that. That doesn't make me a dick rider; it makes me someone who has half brain cells left.

him potentially being “shitty” doesn’t matter. Hold People accountable for their damn actions.

Other people are making videos about this topic, and I'm so glad Lily is getting the consequences she deserves (she doesn't deserve to get doxxed; fans are crazy), but the rest is karma. I'm still waiting for a ukulele apology from that girl.

I'm turning off the comment section. If you DM me insults, I'll just report you. You're clearly not worth arguing with.

P.S. What I mean by he didn't do anything. I mean, he didn't sexually or verbally abuse or assault someone. He wasn't a crackhead doing drugs on the street and putting up fight with fags (I'm a homosexual 😐). He wasn't going around cussing out everyone he knew and saw; he wasn't going around shooting up schools. He was sharing his opinions (opinions that are well supported with science, articles, and experience) and putting people in their place when they were being rude or disrespectful. That's why I like the guy. You don't like him, that's fine, but you can't sit here and defend Lily like she's not an asshole herself. She's just a depressed one. (That sounded really rude, sorry lol)

You think the video fucking sucks. you think he fucking sucks. OKAYYYY but don’t act like Lily’s actions were agreeable just because you didn’t like his video or because you don’t agree with what he said. if you wanna argue about that, just go to his channel and confront him about it. he would happily defend his ass.

-Not the lily fans threatening to hurt and rape me yet I’m the bad guy here for not agreeing with someone trying to hurt and harass someone’s career then they want to claim that ALL TBYS fans are “right wing, dumb asshole who are bigot and ignorant” :) I’m turning off my notifications

Before you say anything, you have no idea who I am. Stop saying that I support Lily being doxxed or getting raped. I never said that. I said Lily should get 'consequences for her actions'. I have said countless times that I don't support her getting rape/doxxed threats and neither does thing before you sleep. ( you guys all know by now how crazy and obsessive fans can get when it comes to their idol or their favorite person. those types of fans can’t be controlled even if the creator actively tell them to stop. ) ( this should be argument lily should get consequences for her actions as a YouTuber she knows how crazy fans can get yet she actively told her fans to go harass and flagged a smaller creator because he didn’t like his video he could’ve gotten death threats and rape threats from her young fans. ) She ACTIVELY told her crazy fans to harass without watching any of his videos he told his fans to leave her alone. HOW IS SHE INNOCENT HERE?!?!

You guys keep putting words in my mouth, just finding excuses to dehumanize and make me be viewed as a bad person just for disagreeing with you. I'm a young SA victim, and I was almost raped at a very young age. The fact that you guys skipped over everything that I said just to assume that I condone raping and doxxing is beyond me. I'm saying this again “I DONT WANT LILY TO JUST DOXXED OR R@PE THREATS NEITER DOESNT SEAN (TBYS)”

Thanks before you sleep wouldnt actively go out of his way to make Lily because he wouldn't benefit from it, and because he wouldn't do it. he's not that type of person. Please just watch the video. ( without anger/hate and LISTEN TO WHAT HE SAYS ) because if you actually did watch the video, you would know that it wasn’t hateful or misleading of Lily’s character things that he said about her character are things that she said about herself.

Old non-crazy fans of Lily agree with think before you sleep because they actually watched his video and see that there were something wrong with.

He complemented her and explained parts that he liked about her and gave her advice (more like his fans) about health and fitness, since he has a lot of experience in that area. That's all he did - give constructive criticism and advice. He didn't tell his fans to actively go attack her. While Lily didn't watch the video and told her fans to go to his video that she did not watch, mine you, to go for reported cyberbullying. YouTubers work very hard on their videos, editing and scripting. That to just go down the shitter, and he wouldn't get paid for the work. And Lily is an online creator. She should know that if she's gonna send a huge number of people to go report his video, they're going to do way more than just report his video and they're gonna harass the living shit out of him. You're telling me that she, “a person who is a victim of cyberbullying and harassment because of someone that she used to be friends/dating a manipulative and crazy person”, doesn't know how crazy people can be about their favorite creators to the point of bullying and harassing someone to suicide? She had to go to a freaking mental hospital because of it and you’re telling me that she did not know what she was doing ???l I know this information because I'm an old fan of hers. Her videos brought me comfort, and I watched tons of her videos. I'm still shocked by this behavior. How are you gonna send your crazy ass fans to go bully and harass someone? You were just bullied and harassed yourself online to the point where you had to go to the mental hospital. Like, she is fucking deranged or something.

I truly believe she did that with malicious intent and tried to frame herself as a good person getting bullied by this 'bigot misogynistic fatphobic racist YouTuber.🥺' She knew what she was doing. She should've talked like a proper adult instead of getting a massive group of 2000 people to secretlyharass and ban his video. I wish you could see it how I see it, but creators know what they're doing with these parasocial relationships. The video was harsh, but it wasn't spreading any lies. He gave his evidence, his sources, and he was nice but constructive. Yeah, it's kind of unwanted advice, but it's his video. He can do whatever he wants on it as long as he's make center whole campaign of people to hurt her.

 I

[andyxd151]

Fun facts about my YV OC’s

Dante is the oldest (not confirming their ages though)

Marina’s nickname is Rina

Oliver can dislocate his rists at will and it freaks everyone out every single time he does that

Ryu has a sunflower tattoo on their back bc of their petname

Amari is ambidextrous

Kaliska’s name means ‘coyote chasing deer’

Cyrus actually hates meatloaf, but their aunt gave it to to them to have something to eat and they were to nice to say no, so that’s why it was just sitting there when Lucien came in

Amari’s dad and Rina’s and Oliver’s moms are siblings making these three cousins

The day she gave Charlie the mixtape, Amari was sent home early so she wouldn’t have to find out Charlie’s answer to the note he (never) got with the tape because she was almost certain that she’d be rejected

Ryu practiced the whole scene where they confessed to Finn with the tickets all night the night before in front of the mirror because she was sweating and shaking at the thought of it

Rina likes to crochet in her free time

Cyrus was a theatre kid in both middle school and high school

Kaliska has a pet hog nose snake named Pringle

Dante had a weird anime kid phase in the 5th grade, he cringes every time he remembers it

Dante actually met Ryu in college and even dated for a bit

The three cousins lived in their own apartment that the three of them rented thanks to the help of Amari’s connections during college

Oliver chose to move out straight after college in order to open up his small bakery

As soon as she moved out, Rina wanted to move back in saying she felt to lonely

Amari was the last one to leave the apartment

Amari is the oldest, Rina is the middle, and Oliver is the youngest but they were all born in the same year

Dante was born and raised in Japan by his mom and her family, he moved to the US for college

Amari and Ryu were fun buddies that also didn’t get along for a bit but now kinda get along and bond over the fact that they both like oblivious blondes with freckles

Amari has a pool in her backyard and Charlie has yet to look back there, she doesn’t mention it because they want to see how surprised and bewildered he’ll be when they get to tell him how it’s been there the whole time and the only reason he never know was because he never asked

Cyrus has a pet European rat named Remy (I snuck in my baby)

Marina has a succubus womb tattoo

Amari’s skateboard nickname for Charlie is “Ollie” like the backward Ollie

Oliver has a fear of the dark and even has a night light for the nights Al doesn’t sleep over

Cyrus hates being too hot or too cold but loves the heat from their living space heater

Ryu works as a tattoo artist in shop just down the street from Finn’s flower shop

Kaliska is the best at playing rock paper scissors

Rina sometimes needs to FORCE the food down Auron’s throat not because he doesn’t like the food, but because he claims to be to busy to eat, and by force I mean having this man in some sort of a head lock while trying to get the fork in his mouth, the whole experience is like trying to give your pet their pills

Dante HATES apricots he likes peaches and every other variation of peaches EXCEPT APRICOTS, he’s not allergic he just has a really weird hatred for specificity apricots

Before meeting Faust, Dante would go to Comicon and Anime Expo with Cyrus every year, now he goes with them both

Cyrus likes to watch the Hangover movies when they’re stressed

Before they met Finn, Ryu was actually kind of a grumpy person, but now they have their sunshine:)

Oliver was a tube baby and a C section baby, he sometimes questions if he’s even really human

Rina was allergic to cats when she was little

Cyrus is double jointed in their thumbs and can dislocate them at will, it weirds the hell out of Lucien every single time

Dante has a scar on his back from being whacked with a branch by another student from when he was a kid

Ryu actually loves animals

Cyrus can’t cook for shit but can make a MEAN cherry pie

Kaliska and Jack have matching bracelets

Finn always packs Ryu lunch

Same goes for Lucien and Cyrus

Kaliska is lactose intolerant but continues to eat anything and everything with dairy whenever she gets the chance

Dante is an Xbox guy

Cyrus likes to watch Lucien sleep in order to make themself sleepy

Ryu has a snaggle tooth

That’s all for now! I have more but I don’t want to put too much in one post :)

[rottenbrainstuff]

Some more detailed thoughts on the Spiderverse movie as I get ready to see it again on the weekend: (spoilers)

I really did enjoy it, was very happy to see it, it made my heart happy, etc etc etc, but I can’t deny there were also some plot things that straight up made no sense at all to me. This is a bit nitpicky and negative I guess so feel free to scroll past, but I’m not saying it was a bad movie.

But it was hard to process stuff like, how everyone blames Miles for weird shit. The Spot blaming Miles for what happened to him. Hello buddy? Of all the people in this scenario who were responsible, INCLUDING YOURSELF, you choose to blame this one specific child and make a vendetta against him? And the blame put on Miles by Miguel: of all the wonky, non-canon things that have happened to other spider people, which other tumblr users have pointed out, you choose to get so angry at this kid because he’s an anomaly, almost as if he STOLE the spider from a different universe on purpose? Everyone, can you guys stop fucking blaming Miles for everything that isn’t actually his fault????

I am giving the writers the benefit of the doubt, and I am thinking this is supposed to be the question the audience is asking at this point, I am assuming this will all be addressed in the next movie. For instance I mean, with the Spot, I think it’s supposed to be clear that this guy is unhinged and not in his right mind, and it DOESN’T make sense how he’s blaming Miles. With Miguel, I am assuming he is doing a lot of projection because of his own personal issues and guilt. Maybe he’s more frustrated with Miles’ refusal to just listen and do what he’s told. I hope so, anyways. Right now it’s a weird uncomfortable feeling. (Plus why on earth tell Miles about the captain dying at all? If it needed to happen, you could have just very very simply….. not told him a single thing about it, and sent him back home blissfully unaware. And it would play out for Miles exactly the same way it would play out for every other spider person. You also would not be influencing Gwen, who is standing right there listening! If the concern is that, due to his apparently unique anomaly status which I don’t buy for a second, you think Miles might unwittingly mess up the canon event even if he doesn’t know about it… like… what’s the plan here then guys, lock Miles in a bubble forever so that he also won’t mess up any future canon events as well??? What’s the plan here guys?????)

I think the conflict between the ideas of, a hero naturally wants to save everyone, and there are some people a hero can’t save or even SHOULDN’T save, these two ideas both being true and being at painful odds with each other, I think this is very good and very interesting. But I think it’s weird in some places how it’s implemented. I can totally get how there would be some spider people totally supportive of this unfortunate truth, it’s stupid and it sucks but we have to enforce it. PETER B being one of those people though?…. I can get Gwen, even if I think she’s making a mistake. I like how it’s a struggle between this intense loyalty to her new found family as she struggles with her dad and her feelings that it’s not right. I can see her getting swept into this and being on board, I understand her conflict and it’s interesting. Peter B?? Peter B?… that was one of the weirdest things in the movie for me, Peter B sitting there holding his baby and trying to explain to Miles why sometimes you shouldn’t try to stop bad things from happening, Peter B getting mad at Miles when Miles, totally understandably, can’t accept that… what? When? How? Peter B was probably one of my least favourite characters in this new movie just because I hated so much how he was written, how he reacted and what he did.

Going in, I had no idea whatsoever this was not a complete story, and was going to be a cliff hanger leading up to another sequel. I actually yelled in the theatre when the “to be continued” flashed up!

I’m not sure I liked that… I don’t think I’ve watched a movie series like that in a very long time where a movie wasn’t a complete story on its own, and instead had a cliffhanger ending leading up to the next movie. Maybe that’s why Empire Strikes Back has never been a favourite Star Wars movie of mine, even though it seems to be everyone else’s favourite. I just don’t care for a movie like that.

That’s just a personal preference of mine though, and I understand that.

Anyways. I did really really like the movie, I haven’t enjoyed a movie this much in a long time, I’m so happy people are making good movies like this. But I also think there’s some weirdness with the story, which I think/hope will partially be addressed in the next movie, because it made it a bit weird for me. I just wanted to point that out. I think it’s interesting to think about.

[aurorawritestoescape]

Kateeeeeeeee 7k of Pre outbreak Joel Miller is a delicious breakfast treat and now Honey I will drown you in my thots just like you deserve 🤭💖

I mean, I would love to be Joel’s treat, but I’d love to be yours way more 😍😋

“You seemed shy and sweet. He had never been against sex work but he always imagined a different type of people in that business.” I kind of made the observation a lot of times that those who are shy and sweet or sometimes on the other side really freaky.😈🤗

Imagine you think a guy wants to ask you out on a date and he’s like “no babes I just want that pussy appointment.” 😁

“I want —, he scratched the back of his neck and continued, “just the usual, I guess.” Me ordering the same comfort food again and again. Sorry I had to laugh 😆

“I don’t think we want it to be ‘just’ sex, Joel. How about we make it special.” Idk why, but I kinda wanna have sex with her and not with him but since I’m her doesn’t that mean I want to have sex with myself?🤔🤭

My God I remember watching “Pretty Woman” and now that I think about it, maybe that put the whole escort/sugar daddy thing into my head 🤯

It’s not only Joel who’s in heaven I am in heaven to reading all of this, Kate I’m serious. I love you. I will say that again and again I will never stop. 😮‍💨💖

“He was dangerously close to coming and painting your mouth creamy white. But he had other plans for you.” I would give a lot to have him paint my mouth creamy white Jesus Christ 🥵🙏🏻(why does it kind of sound like a rhyme?)

“Joel watched pleasure twisting your face while his cock was slowly parting your insides. He moaned at the sensation of your wet warm pussy welcoming him, grasped your hips tightly and when you took all of him, your ass was flush with his balls, you both loudly sighed.” The way you write is just so spectacular it always paints such a clear picture for me to imagine in my head. 😍

Let it be known that if you put your breast in my face, I will most definitely see you as the goddess of my universe and pray to you every single night.😇

“Soon your jeans were discarded on the floor while his head was between your trembling thighs. Joel was licking up your juices straight from the source, grunting into your wet cunt and fucking his tongue into your clenching hole.” I can honestly not decide if I want to be Joel or reader, both are good positions to be in. 🥵🫠😋

“Can I slap your pretty pussy with my cock, sweetheart?” He gripped his cock at the base, squeezing it a little to postpone his climax and when you whispered a sultry ‘yes’ he slapped your clit with the tip of his throbbing length.” I’m begging to be slapped by his cock in the face next……pleaseeeee. You have officially reduced me to a crying little hole 🤭😈

“You didn’t need a single father in your life” hmmm no babe wrong I do need a single father in my life 😌

If I was there that asshole client would’ve gotten his shit rocked. I’m just looking for an excuse to let my anger out and a stupid asshole who makes my girl feel like she’s a cheap hooker seems like the perfect excuse. 😏

I’m so happy that they finally kissed at the end that was probably one of the best birthday gifts he got that day, my heart feels all warm and fuzzy 🥹😍

And then the little snippet of their life together and tem saying I love you to each other ahhhhhhh 🥹❤️

I literally did a little dance when I saw your ask, Mina😍

I’m always so happy to receive them and it’s such a pleasure to get drowned in your thots about this story🙏😁😘 tbh I love when I’m horny not only for the blorbo, but also for reader so I’m very happy to hear that you wanna boink her too😁 can relate ahaha Thank you so much for your reactions and thots! You made me giggle and even blush a few times😏❤️ Love you, baby! I’m sending you kisses and hugs😘🫂🫂🫂 Have a great day!💖💖💖

I know better than to call you mine

[nothingweirdhere]

hhhhhhhhhhh i love the show so much but i really just. cannot get fully behind deckerst@r like im SORRY but i just Do Not Vibe with it

[shoeshineyboy]

ace attorney characters based on how happy I’d be to work for them, as a former legal admin assistant

1. Mia Fey: makes money, hence the lamp and also partner. decent layout of the office. can keep a plant alive. clearly knows what she’s doing. she keeps ungodly hours, but given that she managed to get murdered in the office alone, I feel like she’s very much the “I’m going to be staying until god knows when, so go home” type boss. I appreciate that. I feel like she brings snacks in.

2. Gregory Edgeworth: see now he also keeps ungodly hours but since he works in the 90s/00s, I feel like he doesn’t own a cell phone with which to let me know, while he’s offsite, that I can leave the keys to the office under the doormat and go home. however he canonically keeps coffee at the office, and he has an apprentice, which means less long-winded busywork for me (Ray must’ve done something before the Inherited Turnabout is all I’m saying!)

3. Kristoph Gavin: I don’t like this, but it’s true. prior to the murder thing he was making bank and had an established office, which means it’s probably well-staffed and I wouldn’t be left doing pointless busywork. I feel like he straight-up ignores admin staff unless he needs something, which, honestly, is fine. I’m busy.

4. Apollo Justice: I feel like he probably picked up some good habits from Kristoph and I can’t believe I’m saying that. he’d be more polite, I’m sure, but he’s also inexperienced, which means his files are going to be a fucking state. also, crucially, he doesn’t have an office, so I have to dock points.

5. Raymond Shields: buggers off to different country for years, but keeps the office open. I am working remotely or coming in if I want to. this is the dream. I think his filing system is erratic at best and batshit insane at worst, though. also, the man eats paper. putting files together for him would be an unending nightmare of Missing Shit. “Mr Shields, where’s the form with the witness’ address?” “I ate it” “I am going to kill you”

6. Marvin Grossberg: loaded. massive office. lots of staff. unfortunately I might have to listen to him talk about his hemorrhoids, and if I have to speak to Redd White or, god forbid, Robert Hammond, I am resigning.

7. Miles Edgeworth: he would be polite. he would have reasonable expectations. like Ray, he’s also never fucking there. however, one day, he’s going to be talking to me about something and will insist on making me walk to his office with him. if he makes me walk up twelve flights of stairs, I’ll give him a reason to fear them more than elevators.

8. Phoenix Wright: he doesn’t know how to use a computer. the number of emails is going to be insane and it’s giving me a headache just thinking about it. I also hate to judge like this, but he’s skint, and, not being funny, if I’m trying to organise any of his bullshit cases I’m expecting something a bit better than aldi chocolate rolls.

9. Winston Payne: this job would be fucking boring but it’d be straightforward, and sometimes, that’s what you need. he wouldn’t talk to me, which is nice.

10. Klavier Gavin: he would be lovely. he would be so, so sweet. he would bring me starbucks AND remember my order. unfortunately his office looks like a teenage boy’s bedroom- that is, a complete shithole, and it’d more than likely fall to me to try and organise it.

11. Simon Blackquill: pros: bird that’s trained to buy booze. cons: Fulbright is definitely a morning person and I’m not. also, he’s in prison. I probably don’t have much of a job.

12. Nahyuta Sadmadhi: he asked me to organise access to the airport’s gold lounge for him with 20 minutes’ notice.

13. Godot/Diego Armando: I swear to christ I have worked with someone who showed me exactly what working for Godot would be like. fucking coffee cups all over the fucking building like a FUCKING scavenger hunt every single bastard day. I wouldn’t get any actual work done I’d be doing his stupid mug hunt every time he fancies another brew, which is all the shitting time.

14. Franziska von Karma: she should’ve ranked higher because she ticks a lot of boxes (money, absent), but she also carries a fucking whip. I also love her but she grew up rich as fuck and I just Know her attitude is going to be abysmal. “fool” mate you’re the one who wrote their notes in German, google translate and I are doing our best out here.

15. Athena Cykes: acts like a highschooler because she is one. I love Athena as a character, but I would not love her as an employee of hers.

16. Sebastian Debeste: I’m not working for a fucking seventeen-year-old.

17. Robert Hammond: I hate him. he wouldn’t speak to me except to snap at me. he bought me a shite £1.85 americano from the office coffee machine once and then asked me to pay him back.

18. Manfred von Karma: what are you trying to prove, old man? why are you such a shiter? I’m being expected to organise documents for meetings I’m not even allowed to know about because it’s all under the table illegal bullshit. I feel like my job’s on the line because I nodded to Greg in the queue for the gas station once when I was off the clock. this cunt believes in professionalism outside the workplace but also has a cabinet of whiskey in his office.

[stealingyourbones]

My god I love The Adventures of Superman radio show just so much. Here’s a few reasons why:

- Clark is one of the snarkiest motherfuckers you will EVER meet. Dude sasses and lies his way through conversations like you wouldn’t believe. Dude leaves to ‘do something else’ and changes to Superman and then just comes back and interrogates the current secondary character that drives the plot to see if they saw the feat that Superman did that day.

- Superman doesn’t pull his punches when he wants information. He beats the everloving shit out of goons to find out where [person] or [location] is. He repeatedly flies super high into the air and just straight up drops them and catches them at the last moment as a scare tactic.

- Superman will change back to Clark Kent DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF a goon he previously threatened and look them dead in the eye and say “You saw nothing. I’m Clark Kent. Reporter for the Daily Planet.” And then just continue on with his day. Over a dozen low level goons know his true identity.

- Superman repeatedly leaps out of 20 story floors to leave and do Superman business but it never fails that a woman notices, screams at the top of her lungs, and is convinced that Clark Kent fell to his death. They have used this at least 3 times to my memory to end episodes. Clark arrives back at the same location a few episodes later and no one questions a thing.

- Lois Lane isn’t even really nice to Kent. She’s just plain mean to him. Not the quippy and sassy version we have today. She just belittles him and roasts him and Superman still saves her ass from death near constantly. She DOES beat up villains tho and I respect that greatly.

- Jimmy Olsen is best friends with Dick Grayson and the sole reason is so Bruce and Clark can speak privately and not worry about getting interrupted for plot reasons. (Also so the teenage pair can get kidnapped. Dick is a damsel in distress so frequently.)

- Every. Single. Time. Bruce or Clark says each others identity it’s without fail: “Sup- I mean, Clark Kent.” or “batma- I mean, Bruce Wayne.” Without fail. Every single fucking time. It’s obviously for the listener but they sometimes just say their whole ass secret identity before saying their superhero name. How the world hasn’t figured out these twos identities is a mystery to me.

- Kryptonite robs Superman ONLY of his strength. He can use every other power but within 10 feet of the funky radiation rock he becomes paralyzed.

- Superman fights the KKK. Enough said.

- Superman once loses his memory via ingesting liquid kryptonite. Hitchhikes all over the country, adopts the identity of Bud Smith, and then proceeds to become a world famous baseball player and beat multiple world records. I promise you this is real.

-Superman can apparently only fly at his full speed when he has both arms extended. Only using one arm makes him slower. It’s such a stupid limitation and I love it.

- Kryptonite was invented by the radio show because the Superman voice actor, Bud Collyer, needed a vacation.

- Clark Kent has a pilots license and it’s a catch all to catch up with villains to the point where it’s overused.

- Superman arrives in his rocket on earth as a FULL GROWN MAN. No Martha or Jonathan Kent. No Smallville. Nothing. Homie just lands as a whole ass dude, flies to Indiana, and proceeds to rescue a train with a boy and his father who give him the name Clark Kent and that he should work for a newspaper.

- It shouldn’t be funny to me but whenever Bud Collyer does the rapid shift from Clark to Superman it’s always the funniest shit ever. It’s just “oh geez I found the bodies! Oh no! Looks like they aren’t breathing. Looks like a job for Superman.” It comes out of nowhere and it’s so good I love it so much.

- This man can simultaneously breath in space and drown in the ocean.

- Oh by the way, apparently Superman has only one way that he can be killed: starvation. That’s it. Kryptonite just weakens him. Takes months but eventually you could kill Superman by starvation.

- Jimmy repeatedly gets his life threatened in the most horrifying of ways and just goes “this sounds like a story! Someone get Mr.Kent over here!”

- the use of “Atomic [insert machine here]” for every single sci-fi gizmo, tool, or weapon. Well, besides the stories when they focus on an indigenous people and then suddenly magic or voodoo is the cause. I mean hey it’s the 1940s but like,,, really? C’mon dude. Don’t do that.

- the absolutely terrible accents. Is that man meant to be a Spaniard? Is he meant to be German? Who knows. Your best bet is German cause this is during WW2 but it’s truly a coin toss.

- Other fun accent atrocities: A really shitty Italian accent for someone who was supposed to be Mexican. The only change of speech being excessive rolling of R’s for Spaniards, Transylvanian accent for someone who was meant to be… I think Russian? Bro it was really bad. All voiced by some American who has probably never heard that accent in their entire life.

- flip flopping between progressive stories striving to stop anti-semitism, racism, and unequal rights. And then having an evil dictator of a hidden tiny planet next to mars who the readers hear Jimmy Olsen say that he is like hitler. Like just straight up say it. And then proceed to describe the dictator as “beady eyed and crooked nosed.” Just straight up using the tyrant evil Jewish king stereotype. They slowly start getting Better past episode 500 but holy shit they don’t know how to pick a fucking lane.

- there’s a Superman radio comedy special by Bob Hope and it’s genuinely hilarious. Evil scientist wants to turn Superman into soap. Punchline after punchline.

- And finally, in the original test pilot that was made had the intro as “It’s a giant bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!” It’s so clunky and wild but it makes sense why they chose bird in the first place

This radio show is so interesting from a historical and story perspective. The wild ass stories that the writers make astound me still and I’ve listened to at least 150/2,200 episodes that aired

[write-orflight]

The Fraction of Innocence.

**Gif Not Mine**

Anon Requested: 10, 16, and 25 for the smutty prompts thing!!!

10: “were you just touching yourself?” ‘yeah, what are you donna do about it?’

16: “the only way you are gonna get off is on my thigh.”

25: “she may be all lollipops and candy bars, but I bet behind closed doors she’s hand cuffs and gags.”

Pairings: SpencerXReader

Rating: M, (This is very explicit.)

Words: 4K

Warnings: NSFW!!! 18+ (Dom!Spencer, BDSM overtones, sexual conduct, fingering, bondage, etc.)

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Spencer thinks Y/N is an innocent, naive girl until a case reveals her extracurricular activities. 

Spencer had been back from jail for 2 months when he first met her. 

At first he didn’t think anything of her, other than the faint smell of vanilla and daisy as she walked past him in the bullpen and the bright smile that seemed to take up half her face. She was carrying files close to her chest like a schoolgirl late to class and the skirt of her white dress bellowed softly behind her as she made her way to Emily’s office.  

“Who is that?” He had asked. 

Luke looked up to where Spencer’s gaze was. “Oh, that’s Y/N, she's a tech analyst helping Penelope out right now. She’s sweet, you’ll like her.”  

It doesn’t take Spencer long after that to decide he, in fact, does not like you. There was nothing wrong with you. Luke was right, you were sweet, almost sickeningly so. It was like you had no concept of reality. You lived in this world of all sunshine and good things despite the horror that crossed your screen daily. And while Penelope was the same, she at the very least knew how bad the world could be and chose to see the good in it. You didn’t, it was like you’d never had a single bad thing happen to you. And Spencer, who had been dealt the bad hand so many times in life hated that. 

It also didn’t help that you were gorgeous too. You looked like an artist sculpted you himself to make the perfect woman. Real People weren’t supposed to look like that. Real people were supposed to have flaws and blisters. Real people were supposed to look tired so early in the morning not fully awake and smiling while handing everyone in the office a coffee. He didn’t understand how you could be real.   

“Here you go, Spencer. Americano lots of sugar.” You said, placing the coffee on his desk. 

“Thank you.” He mumbles. 

“We have a case, by the way.” You giggle, going off to hand Luke his coffee before walking away to the conference room. Spencer was barely able to keep his eye roll at bay. 

Luke sees that and laughs, clapping Spencer on the back. “Come on, kid. Play nice.” 

“She’s giggling about a murder case.” Spencer grumbles before following him into the conference room. 

“3 women have been murdered in Queens. Judging by the scars, they were all bound and strangled before finally being dumped in an alley.” Garcia says, as she goes through the slides, showing the crime scenes. “Police need our help finding the connection between these three women because right now, it looks like there is none.” 

“I’d say.” Tara speaks up. “We have a waitress/student, a doctor, and a paralegal. All living in different areas of the city with virtually no reason to interact.” 

Spencer looks down at his file, examining the picture when he notices something. Just as he opens his mouth to say something, you clear your throat.  

“Umm, Emily?” You say from your seat right across from Spencer. Emily looks up inquisitively at you. “I think I know what connects them.” 

“What’s that, Y/N?” Emily asks, raising a brow at her.  

You clear your throat again. “Victim #2, Rebecca Belfront, has a Padlock collar necklace on in her second picture. That’s typically used to indicate she’s a submissive with a committed dominant partner. But she wasn’t wearing it when her body was found which makes me think that that relationship recently ended. That made me look at the marks on their arms. While there are some new ones from the murders, they all have faded marks around the wrist and body as well. Leads me to believe the bounding was er-... consensual. We should probably look into New York’s BDSM scene.” You close, smiling awkwardly. 

Spencer looks at you in shock. He, of course, had come to the same conclusion you did and had been about to say that but he, at least, knew why he knew that. Why did you know that? 

Emily hummed thoughtfully. “It’s worth looking into. Do you mind coming to NY with us? Your insight might be needed.” 

You look kind of shocked at that but nod. “Of course, whatever I can do to help.” You say, softly. 

“Great, Wheels up in 30.” She says, getting up, effectively ending the meet. Spencer watches you speed after her, files in hand to ask some more questions. Spencer’s walking back to his desk when Luke catches up with him. 

“Y/N has a dark side. Who knew?” He says, smirking. 

“Probably not.” Spencer muses. “She could’ve just known that. I mean, I  just know stuff sometimes too.” 

“Nah, I don’t think so. Her body language gave her away. She was flushing and stuttering sure, but she was confident in what she was saying. Almost as if, she was speaking from experience.” Luke laughs. “She may be all lollipops and candy bars here, but I bet behind closed doors, she’s handcuffs and gags.”  

Spencer hums. “Maybe.” He says looking up to watch you walk back across the catwalk from Prentiss’ office. Luke was right though, your body language did give you completely away that you were talking from experience. Spencer couldn’t help but wonder just how much. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

When you arrive in New York, You head straight from the jet to the Police Station in Queens. You fiddle with your thumbs a bit, you are nervous. 

“You ok?” Spencer says, from his spot in front of the bulletin board he was setting up. You were supposed to be helping him but you knew Spencer was particular about some things so you let him do it. In fact, there were a lot of things you’d let Spencer do. With you, to you, you weren’t picky. The man was gorgeous enough to make you nervous. With his lean muscles, long, fluffy hair, and large hands, he looked like something that walked right out of a wet dream of yours. Which sometimes, he was just that. You weren’t stupid though, you knew Spencer didn’t think of you that way. In fact, you didn’t think Spencer thought of you in any way. He seemed to ignore you anyway he could. 

You look up from your laptop. “Oh yea, I’m fine. I’m just...nervous. I’ve never been in the field.” 

“Chances are you won’t be, Emily will probably keep you in the Station if she can help it.” Spencer provides. 

“I know, it’s just-- you know what I mean.” You say, Spencer nods before returning to the bulletin board. You stand to look at the map with him. “So, from what I was able to find there’s only 3 BDSM clubs in Queens but there’s only one in the middle of where the three women were found. Place called Cat’s Cradle.” 

Spencer hums. “How complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.” You look up at the man, recognizing the quote.  

“There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.” You say back, shrugging. 

“You read Vonnegut?” He asks. 

“You said that like you’re more surprised that I can read than what I read being Vonnegut.” You say, Spencer shrugs not even denying it. God, he was such a dick sometimes. A hot dick, but a dick nonetheless. 

The two of you turn when you hear a knock at the door to see the lead detective coming in to check on you guys. “Just wanted to see how things were coming along. Also see if you guys needed anything?” Though he only directed the question at you with a sly smirk on his face. Men were so obvious sometimes. 

“Nope, we’re fine.” You smile although you didn’t want to. “We’ve narrowed down to a couple BDSM clubs so hopefully we’ll catch our guy soon.” 

“Wait, you think these girls were…” He trails off. You nod, knowing what he was thinking. “Well, it probably serves them right.” 

“Excuse me?” You say. 

“Listen, I know what kind of girls go into those kinds of clubs. If they want to be sexual deviants, they can’t be surprised when shit like this happens to them.” He gestures to the board. 

“Actually more women are into Dominant/Submissive as well as BDSM relationships than you would think, statistically 85%.” Spencer cuts him off. “These clubs are just commonplace for them to meet like minded people just like you would do in any other club and they should be put on trial after their deaths for trusting the wrong person. If you don’t mind, we’d like to get back to work, Detective.” He says, turning back towards the board. The man nods and leaves shortly after that. 

“Thank you.” You say, softly. 

“What for?” Spencer asks. 

“Come on, I work with profilers and I’m not stupid. I know you guys know about me so thank you for defending me just now.” 

“I wasn’t defending you.” Spencer says. “He was making inappropriate comments about victims and we don’t need that outdated way of thinking working on this case. Besides…” He says, eyes flickering down to your lips and back to your eyes. “You’re not the only one with… unconventional extracurriculars.” He turns and walks out after that leaving you watching after him. 

What? 

------------------------------------------------------------------

 After delivering the profile, you find the Unsub, a man named Ivan Parke. The only thing left to do was find the best way to snuff him out. When the team is discussing the next best course of action. It’s then Luke comes up with the idea. 

“We should send Y/N undercover.” He says. “She knows the profile and knows the most about the scene.” 

Emily nods. “Is that something you’re comfortable with, Y/N.” 

You look up. “Oh, um yea. I’d have to find a different outfit but you have to send someone with me.” You say, everyone looks at you confused so you sigh and explain yourself. “If you send me into a club like this, in a foreign place with no Dom, the Unsub isn’t going to be my only worry. Someone’s going to have to play my dominant.”   

“I’ll do it.” Spencer speaks up. Your eyes widened, you were not expecting Spencer to agree to it, you assumed you’d be stuck with Luke. Now you’re going to have to spend the night with the man you’d been crushing on since you started working with the BAU as his submissive. Like that wasn’t a dream come true. 

“Great.” Emily says, dismissing everyone and handing you an expense credit card for an outfit. You take it and leave immediately, ignoring the sly look Spencer gives you. 

You ended with a short, low-cut black leather dress with tank-like sleeves that showed off your curves and left very little to the imagination. As well as a clear pair of platform heels. You pulled your hair back into a sleek ponytail and you topped the look with your own personal leather choker with a large circle knob in the center. It was one of your favorite pieces to wear though you never really got a chance to wear it unless you were going to clubs, which you didn’t do as often these days. It was an expensive piece sure, but so worth it when you got to wear it. You were doing your makeup a little darker then you usually do in the bathroom when Spencer comes in. 

“Is this how you typically look on the weekends?” He asks, standing behind you in the mirror. You look up to look him in the eyes through it. 

“If I have the time.” You shrug. 

“It’s very different. You’re very different from how I thought you were.” 

“And how did you think I was, Spencer?”

“Naive...innocent.”   

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have assumed anything about me.” You say, turning towards the man. 

“Maybe you’re right… That’s an expensive piece.” He points out pointing to your choker. “Emily’s going to have fun explaining that at the next budgetary hearing.” 

“I didn’t buy it today.” You explain. “It’s mine.” 

Spencer hums for a moment before lifting his hand to turn your jaw, examining the piece. You can’t help the way your breath hitches at the contact. Spencer was already so close to you and now he was touching you, it was already starting to be too much. Soon, Spencer is hooking two fingers into the circle knob of your choker and he yanks it. Involuntarily, a whimper falls from your lips, prompting a smirk from the man across from you. 

“Tonight’s going to be fun.” He says before leaving you in the bathroom in a state of shock. 

-------------------------------------------------------- 

 After getting your comms set up by Luke, who tried to avert his eyes from your frame as much as possible, you and Spencer walk into the Cat’s Cradle. Typically you didn’t like the club scene, but you sometimes liked to venture out when looking for a new partner. Cat’s Cradle was definitely different than the other places you had been. Sure it still had the private rooms and the main stage where a scene was happening in front of you but it was a lot more laid back than the ones you went to in DC. Spencer was really enjoying his role too. Probably hamming it up too much because he knew there was a part of you that actually wanted him to. In the end, finding Ivan Parke was easy. He took the bait almost instantly and you were arresting him just as fast. 

“Great work tonight guys.” Emily says, when you reach the hotel lobby. “Jet’s leaving at 7AM so make sure to get some rest.” She says, dismissing you. 

Now begged a tricky situation because you had almost forgotten you and Spencer were rooming together. As you walked back to the room together the air was thick but both of you were silent. The tension had been building between the two of you since he yanked your choker in the station bathroom. You knew it was a matter of time. The dam had to break. 

“You can shower first.” Spencer says. You nod, taking off your choker and grabbing clothes before taking solace in the bathroom. You wanted Spencer and you knew you needed to expedite this. After a much needed shower, you change into your pajama shorts and tank combo. Spencer steps into the shower almost as soon as you leave it. It’s then that you think of the perfect plan. You lay on the bed and spread your legs before slipping a hand down your shorts. You tease yourself at first, rubbing your clit through your underwear while you thought about the events of the night. How Spencer had been so authoritative. How his hand slid to the small of your back and sometimes ghosted your ass as the two of you walked around the club. How he had been so close in the bathroom. The way he yanked you closer. A small moan escaped you as you slid your hand in your underwear. Soon you hear the bathroom door open. Spencer stops short, watching you before leaning on the frame. 

“Were you just touching yourself?”

“Yes.” You answer. “Are you gonna to do something about it?” 

“Should I? Instead of telling me what you want you decide to act like a brat and do this.” 

Spencer moves closer to the bed but doesn’t do anything, just continues to watch you so you decide to give him a show. Moaning loudly as you slide a digit inside of you. Spencer looks at you with hooded eyes. You can’t help the small laugh that leaves you. 

“I think you’re going to give me what I want.” You say, smirking. 

“And why’s that?” He says. 

“You’re already weak.” You say. 

“I’m weak, pretty girl?” He asks, incredulously. Before you know it, he’s ripping your hand out of your pants and crowding in the space between your legs forcing you to sit up and look at him. “You’re in here touching yourself to the thought of me like a horny teenager and I’m the one who’s weak? Ok.”  He sits back and pulls you by your hips to sit on top of his lap, your legs straddling one of his thighs. “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh, ok?” He tells you, starting to move your hips. You moan, nodding your head as the friction makes its way through your core. Spencer lifts your shirt off you and smirks when his eyes land on your bare breast. He leans forward to catch your left nipple in his mouth. Your back arches as you grind harder against his thigh. Your hands fly up to start unbuttoning his shirt when he stops you. 

“Did I say you could touch yet, princess?”  He asks. 

“N-No, sir.” You stutter. 

“Then keep your hands to yourself.” He says, putting your hands back to your side. He does indulge you by taking his shirt off himself. But that doesn’t help you keep your hands to yourself. You saw the lean muscle and craved to mark it up with your nails. Your hands go up to touch him again but he stops you. 

“If I have to ask you again, I’m going to tie you up, Princess. Just be good, baby.” 

You were already close before but now with Spencer’s hands and mouth everywhere and constant friction on your sex it was damn near pushing you off the edge. 

“I’m gonna come.” You tell him, he grips your hips tighter, lifting his leg slightly so he was only rubbing against your clit. That makes you moan out loudly. 

“Go ahead, Princess. Cum for me.” He says, and that was all you needed to fall right over the edge. Your legs shake and convulse as Spencer grips your hips help you ride it out.  Soon you come down panting and he’s kissing into your neck. He pulls back and grips your jaw. 

“Still think I’m weak, Princess?”  He asks. 

You knew it was unwise. In fact, you tried to stop yourself before you did it but it was too late. You reared your hand back and slapped Spencer across the cheek. Not hard enough to be seen as anything malicious but sharp enough to throw him off, like he couldn’t believe you had done it.  

“Yes I do.” You say looking him in the eyes after. Something like a switch went off because there was no other way to describe the look he gave you other than feral and fully primitive. He pushes you off him. 

“Get on your hands and knees, now.” He says, menacingly. You scramble and run to get into the position. Once in, Spencer forces your knees further apart. He angrily takes his belt off his pants before fashioning them into a makeshift cuff and pulling your wrist so they’re tied behind your back, leaving you face down into the mattress. He slides your shorts and underwear off in one go. You yelp loudly when the first slap comes to your behind. When the second and third slap comes, you try to squeeze your legs together to get some form of friction but Spencer forces your knees further apart. You moan out when you feel a digit slide against your folds. You try to push back on it but Spencer holds your hips in place. 

“P-Please.” you stutter. 

“What do you want, Princess?” He says, sliding a second digit inside you making you cry out more. 

“Please, fuck me, Spencer.” You say, and you really didn’t have to ask twice because almost as soon as you ask Spencer’s hands leave you to finish unbuckling his pants. There’s a brief moment of calm, so calm that you almost think Spencer wasn’t going to give you what you want but that calm is interrupted by Spencer slamming into, no warning. You scream out but that’s only rewarded with your head being shoved more into the mattress to muffle your cries. Spencer’s hands are pulling on your cuffs so he is almost impossibly deep inside you. You moans start to get louder and louder. Suddenly, Spencer is pulling you up so you’re both sitting up, your back against his chest. One of his hands slides to grip around your neck while the other is moving to circle your clit. The hand around your neck tilts your jaw back so you’re looking up at the man behind you. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. Open your mouth, Princess.” He orders, which you do instantly sticking your tongue out. Spencer leans forward and spits into your waiting mouth before locking his mouth with yours. His hand squeezes your neck tighter as you moan into his mouth as he starts fucking you faster, his dick hitting your g-spot almost every thrust. It’s not long before you’re just babbling, not even able to string a coherent sentence together. 

“You gonna come for me, Princess?” He asks. You nod, moaning loudly. At this point, you knew there was no way the person in the room next to you guys didn’t hear you. You could only hope that it wasn’t one of the team. “Go ahead for me, baby. Be a good girl and come on my cock.” After that, it doesn’t take long before you’re falling over the edge, shaking all the while. Spencer fucks you through it before tightening his grip on your hips to bend you back forwards so your face is back on the mattress. He fucks you hard and fast before falling over the edge himself, moaning your name. 

The two of you say nothing as he unties you. When he does, you instantly flop down on your back, breathing heavily. Spencer wordlessly gets up and goes to the bathroom. For a moment you think he’s just leaving you like this, that you were foolish to think Spencer cared anything about you but in that moment he comes back with a wet cloth and ointment. He says nothing as he wipes between your legs before tossing the towel aside. You watch him with a smirk on your face as he rubs the ointment on the red marks the red cuffs made on you. 

He looks you in the eye. “What, Y/N?” 

“What happened to Princess?” You say, Spencer just looks at you with a bored expression which only makes you smile more. “Now’s probably a good time for you to ask me to dinner.” 

Spencer chuckles lightly at that. “You don’t want to go to dinner with me.” 

“I’m almost positive I do. Why would you say that?” You ask. 

Spencer looks you in the eyes at that moment. “I’m not-Y/N, I’m not like you.” 

“Like me?” 

“I’m not able to be cheery and smiley. I can’t float into rooms. I can’t be happy like you are, too much has happened to me. You deserve someone happy.” 

“Spencer.” You say, looking him in the eyes. “You are not broken. You can be happy, it’s going to take time sure but I’m willing to be with you through that. If you want that.” You say. 

Spencer nods. “Ok, Y/N.” he smiles. 

“So….?” 

He rolls his eyes at that. “What’re you doing next sunday?” 

You smile, brightly. “Absolutely nothing.”    

Perm. Taglist: @moonshinerbynight​ @crimeshowtrash​

[dememetor]

HEY HEY HEY

I love your writing, can I please get jealous hcs for anyone? Please include suna thi he's my latest brainrot hAHA

hi, thanks for the request! and suna brainrot?? bitch me too the fuck. anyways, hope you enjoy~

(also sorry this is kinda late, i've rewritten iwaizumi and bokuto ones a million times)

Haikyuu boys when they're jealous

characters suna rintarou, kuroo tetsurou, iwaizumi hajime, bokuto koutarou, kenma kozume

warnings none but i'm probably gonna say fuck at some point

Suna Rintarou

he tries to be chill about it, he does

it hurts his ego to be this clingy but god

he can't help but to feel that sour sting of jealousy when he sees another guy approaching you

at first will only take a quick glance from afar, just to check if the guy is bothering you, and then promises himself to stay out of your business

well he doesn't

once he decides the guy has lost talking-to-y/n-alone privilege, he will nonchalantly make his way towards you, one hand in his pocket, other sneaking its way to your shoulder, resting his elbow and giving the poor boy a menacing look

he can be pretty intimidating too with that eyeliner and all

(but that look only works on people that don't know him well, he tried it on atsumu once and the latter just laughed in his face)

not the type to be openly jealous but when he sees someone blatantly flirting with you he will start to give you the Glance

blinks slowly (you know, like that one blonde haired guy gif) and looks at you through raised eyebrows as if to say hey babe, i love you and i trust you. what the fuck tho

and when the guy starts being borderline creepy he'll appear between you - and i mean literally will inject himself between you two and strike a conversation with you as if nothing weird happened

they usually get the hint, but this one guy tried to go around him, still rambling about whatever and suna literally turned on his heel and said "come again?" with such unrivaled coldness, his eyes exuding just sheer fucking spite

but like i said, unless the other guy is asking for it, he's not the type to start a direct confrontation

will take you by the hand and leave without much thought because he simply doesn't have the time for that shit

he might seem grumpy afterwards but a couple of soft kisses usually do the trick

soft kisses which are followed by a breathless make out session with you on his kitchen counter because he still wants you to know you're only his

Kuroo Tetsurou

this little bitch

never gets jealous

and i mean never

once pretended he was jealous just to make you feel better (??? his logic? unparalleled) but once you found out you beat his ass

loves it when you get jealous though (he thinks it's cute)

sometimes he does get insecure, but he shows it in an unusual way

like if you've been talking to someone, smiling at your phone for a while he'll just get up and randomly do a couple puhs-ups, start flexing his muscles and shit

all while you're looking at him like,,

"babe, what are you doing"

"oh i didn't think you'd notice me there. since you're on your damn phone all day"

"...are you my mom?"

nah he'll be fine (will steal your phone though)

also it's the funniest thing when he sees someone trying to flirt with you

he will literally walk over there, introduce himself (not mentioning he's your boyfriend) and act really interested in the conversation

he plays this game where he tries to see how long will it take the guy to realise you two are together (longest time: 24 minutes, record holder: yahaba shigeru)

whenever the guy asks you something he will interrupt you and answer for himself as if the guy were flirting with him

"so, like what do you do in your free time?"

"not mu-"

"oh i love taking long walks on the beach, especially during sunsets. i really think it is healthy for the mind and the soul, not to mention quite romantic too. don't you too love sunsets, kevin?"

at one point kevin will have had enough of it

"i was talking to y/n alone here"

"aw don't worry, you're not bothering me"

he is such a pain in the ass

why can't he just be normal

Iwaizumi Hajime

rational, mature, i love him

seriously, he is the bestest boy and he will treat you so well because he trusts you and respects your friendship with other guys as well

but on those rare occasions when he does get jealous,, oh boy

first of all, the PDA skyrockets, he has to have his arm around you at all times - around your shoulder? on your waist? in your backpocket? his hand's been there done that

not in any way possesive but will be really annoying unless you give him your full undivided attention that day

he lets himself be selfish a bit, after all he is your boyfriend he can have you all to himself for a day, right?

jealous sex with him? better prepare a wheelchair cause you want be able to walk straight tomorrow

sees a boy trying to flirt with you? tries not to make a scene but absolutely will throw the first punch if he needs to

one day he was having a particularly rough time at practice and all he wanted to do was lose himself in your arms and fall asleep to the feeling your fingertips tangled in his hair

and then he saw this?? guy? (the audacity!) laughing with you after telling some dumb joke and let me tell you - iwaizumi wasn't having any of it

he came up to you from behind, wrapped his arms around your waist and planted a small kiss on the crook of your neck

"when are we going home, love?"

and he gives him the calmest yet most fear inducing stare from behind you

and suddenly the pattern on poor boy's pants starts to look awful lot like piss stain

it is actually kinda hot how one single look from him can cause such a reaction

"he was just asking about english homework babe"

"yeah that's what they all say"

Bokuto Koutarou

gets jealous so so easily

it is actually fascinating

will get mad at otome games

"what does jumin han have that i don't???"

god forbid you pay attention to your pet more than him (btw you have a golden retriever and his name is bean)

you're sitting on the couch cuddling with your dog, scratching his ears, ruffling his fur and all that, and there he is, your clingy boyfriend, snuggling right next to you, demanding you play with his hair too

so dramatic

"you smiled at him... the way you used to smile at me..."

"bokuto, he's a dog"

the only guy he trusts 100% to be around you is akaashi, even kuroo is on thin ice

but him and akaashi are something else, one time you three had a sleepover and you felt like you were the third wheel

will act like a tough serious boyfriend in front of others, especially your other guy friends but in reality will look for affection immediately after

oh while we're at it - jealous bokuto kisses? are the best kisses

will also force you to wear one of his shirts for the rest of the day

my poor man is so touch starved so when he feels insecure or jealous he will look for comfort in things like holding your hand, nuzzling your neck or giving forehead kisses

but later that day, when you two are sitting on the couch cuddling he will quietly ask you something along the lines of "you still think i'm pretty, right?"

you can feel him all over you - his hands are creeping down your waist, he's pulling you in, deepening the kiss until all you can see, think and feel is him

he wants to show you exactly how much he wants you and what you were missing out on while you weren't paying attention to him

and it shocks you for a moment because you didn't realise just how much that one short moment of jealousy actually stayed with him

you have to reassure him he's the most beautiful boy you have ever met, and not only that, but also the funniest and the most caring person as well, and that you would never leave his side no matter what happened

and as much as he loves getting praised he always gets embarrassed, so he just smiles in return, but he is also happy to know you're there for him and you don't think he is too much

Kenma Kozume

it depends on his mood honestly

sometimes he doesn't mind it even if the other guy is flirting with you and sometimes will get pissy if you smile at the cashier

but when this boy gets really jealous oh my GOD

he is just like bokuto if not worse; he just hides it so well

one time you went grocery shopping with him and spent the entire time texting your friend who had just told you she was visiting your city

and he got so offended

you didn't even notice it until later that day when you came home and he suddenly refused to cuddle with you

silent treatment

lifts his nose and ignores you, only giving you dirty side glances from under the eye

such a massive sense of pride in those 170 cm even oikawa would be impressed

in my country there's a saying "it's in the smallest bottle that the poison lies" and honestly? yeah

at some point you realise why he's acting like that and you start teasing him

"i am not jealous i am just mildly irritated" is the only thing he deems necessary to say before going back to being unnecessarily pissed

he reminds you of an angry cat

it's kind of amusing seeing him like this but you were also getting real tired of his shit

don't even try bribing him (you tried buying him over with a ps5 but he just looked at you unimpressed, disgusted that you think so low of him)

the only thing he will accept is a sincere apology

if it's sincere or not is up to him to decide, obviously

which can lead to quite some bickering

will try to get you to beg but please have dignity, if you do it once he will make you do it every time

yeah generally a lttle shit but his kisses after making up are just as eager as yours so

[the-passenger-if]

one of my favorite angst tropes is someone breaking up with their partner in order to keep them safe! how would the ros handle this if newman did this to them? (also, would any of the ro’s break up with newman to keep them safe?)

combining it with

How would the ROs react to Newman who just texts them out of nowhere and the message just say "I love you always bye sorry" as if Newman was in a hurry and no matter how hard they try to contact them, no one picks up.

also

some angST!! How would the ROs react to Newman breaking up with them after being together for a looooong time?

and

ROs reaction to Newman wanting to break up with them after a while of being together?

Jonny and Horizon would break up with Newman to keep them safe. Fiama knows she can keep both of them safe, and Roach will do their best but if they have to die then they will die together xD

Combining Newman just up and disappears one day with Newman breaks up with RO after being together for a long time.

Long angsty scenarios under the cut.

“Mommy… kisses me… on the… cheek. Cheek. Cheek, Bruno. Listen, cheeeek. That’s chek.”

Bruno mutters the word ‘cheek’ under his breath a few times before adding another ‘e’ just on top of the first one.

“No,” Fiama tells him. “Erase the word and rewrite it. Well this time.”

Her son scowls but he does as he’s told. His round eyes slip away from the exercise book to the front door and stay there.

“Bruno,” she calls him. “Bruno.” He looks at her, and she knows. She just knows what he’s thinking about. Who he’s thinking about. “Cheek.” She points at the book.

He writes down the word very slowly and forcefully on the page. She still can read the wrong word under it, but she decides to let it go.

“The chick eats corn,” Fiama continues, “The… chick… Chick, Bruno.”

He bites his lower lip, staring at her.

“Remember the chicks? Grandpa took you to see them…”

Bruno mutters ‘chick’ under his breath a couple of times, then his eyes go to the front door again.

“Bruno,” and she doesn’t want to lose her patience like this, but she’s tired and she wants to… she doesn’t know what she wants to do yet, but doing homework in the living room with a very distracted Bruno isn’t it.

Her boy scowls at her, pencil shaking in a tiny angry fist. He opens his mouth to retort when someone knocks on the door. His eyes widen, the scowl vanishes. He jumps off the chair, homework and pencil and Fiama completely forgotten.

“Bruno!” she calls out, but he’s already dashing to the door and yanking it open.

“Oh! Hi there, rabbit,” Fiama’s mother says.

“No!” Bruno replies trying to close the door again.

That’s when Fiama stands up and grabs him by the arm. “Don’t you shut the door in your grandma’s face!”

“Don’t you grab him like that!” her mother yells at her, and she lets go of Bruno as if he was a hot iron.

“Why are you here?” Bruno screams at Fiama’s mother. “I wanted it to be them!”

“Bruno!” Fiama scolds.

“No!” her boy yells at her. “This is your fault! You did this!” Then he’s running off to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Fiama isn’t the type to care about metaphors, but right now she completely understands what people mean when they say 'it felt like a bucket of cold water'.

The one that breaks the silence is her mother. “Well, didn’t I tell you this would happen?”

“Not now, mom.” Fiama grits out.

“Let us hope it doesn’t affect Bruno too much…”

“I said not now.” The glare she sends her mother’s way is enough for the woman to shake her head and turn away.

Fiama closes the door very carefully, and then rests her back against it, scowl set on the table where Bruno’s homework was left unfinished. A thought like a flash; the table toppling over, books and pencils, and the ceramic fruit basket flying in the air. It passes quickly. Fiama is taking slow deep breaths. She still remembers what happened the last time she let her emotions get the best of her. That familiar wave of shame and guilt washes over her as she remembers Bruno’s stunned silence when he found her sobbing in her room, sat in the midst of broken pieces of whatever she had lying about in there.

A single tear rolls down her cheek, one Fiama swiftly washes away. She promises herself this is the last she’ll ever waste on them.

---

There's one lonely cloud floating in the blue sky and Jonny's eyes have been following its snail-like march for the last ten minutes or so. His neck is starting to feel stiff but he doesn't shift his position; watching the lazy parade happening outside of his window has kept his mind in silence. Sweet, sweet silence.

It isn’t surprising that it doesn’t last. Somebody is knocking on his bedroom door and Jonny really doesn't have the energy for this. He closes his eyes shut, focuses on the inverted shadow cloud burned in his tired retina. The door clicks open and he keeps still on his bed, chest barely moving. It's childish, he knows this, but it's the only thing that seems to keep Joaquin and Lucia from asking how he's doing or commenting about his love life, or even worse, trying to give him advice.

The visitor lingers there where they stand for another moment, before closing the door again. Jonny thinks he’s been left alone to go back to what apparently has become his favorite hobby as of late, when he hears approaching footsteps.

“I know you’re awake.”

“Don’t tell me they called you,” he says in a drawl, opening his eyes and fixing them on the man sitting on the bed across from his. Quino has the same green eyes, straight nose, and wavy brown hair Jonny has, however, his twin chooses to wear it shorter and well out of his face. He is, after all, the good-looking one.

“They didn’t,” Quino assures him with a conciliatory smile. Jonny’s skepticism must be written all over his face because his brother crosses his heart and shrugs.

“Why are you here?” Jonny knows why, but he also knows Quino too well and his twin has never been the type to start awkward conversations unless Jonny opens that door for him first.

“Do I need a reason? Can’t I—?”

“They broke up with me,” Jonny cuts him off, “I’m feeling like shit, I just want to sleep until I forget I ever met them, but every time people ask about it I think about them, and every time they tell me ‘it will pass’, and that I’ll ‘find someone new’ I just want to jump in front of a car.” Quino doesn’t say anything, he just nods while picking at his nails. Jonny rolls on his back, stares at the ceiling. “I know I’m way too old to be acting like this, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“You aren’t too old to feel like shit, Jonny. You loved them, and they left you. It’s completely understandable.”

He presses his lips together. He did love them. He does love them still. Stupid, so stupid.

“If you want to cry—“

“Screw off.”

“Not in front of me, heaven forbid,” Quino says with mock horror, “but you should cry sometimes. Crying is good for you, you know?”

Maybe it is, Jonny guesses, but he might have cried himself dry the night Newman broke up with him over the phone. Over the fucking phone, of fucking course. He rubs at his dry eyes. He doesn’t want to think about that. “Yeah,” he mutters.

The silence stretches until Quino clears his throat. “So, do you want to know why I’m here or not?”

Jonny turns his head and then frowns at the tickets in his brother’s hand. He blinks twice, recognizing the iconic font printed on them at once. He sits up an instant later. “You’re shitting me.”

“No, I’m inviting you to see Metallica in Columbia.”

“Their last two albums suck,” Jonny says, yet he still takes the ticket from Quino’s hand.

“What doesn’t?” his twin asks with a laugh, and this time Jonny can feel himself smile.

---

One of the humans is awake. Shit. Roach thought they had at least another hour or two, now they’ll have to deal with them and their overfamiliarity and their hands and their faces.

The stub between their lips trembles and they realize it has gone out. They take it, frown at it and then flick it off. It flies in an arc, landing among its dozen of dead brothers. Roach knows at least ten of those are theirs—not that the parking lot of this dingy motel could look any worse by having more dead cigs lying about.

They look for their smokes in the denim jacket they are wearing—a gift from a trucker with a tendency to comment on people’s appearances and leave his jacket behind when going to the restroom—and almost drop the entire pack when the door at their left opens.

“Those things will kill you,” says the woman coming out of their shared motel room.

“Life is killing me,” Roach replies without missing a beat, but they don’t smile; she won’t see their face anyway, not when the sun has yet to come out, and the only lightbulb over their head suddenly burned out.

“Do you have another one?”

She comes to sit next to them on the bench and Roach doesn’t need light to see the deep crow's feet at the corner of her eyes and the dark circles under them. Their conquests always look immensely better under synthetic lighting, once outside, once they’ve used one another, it’s like the spell breaks.

Roach holds two cigs between their lips and lights them with practiced ease. They offer one to their broken Juliette. It’s the least they can do; they do remember biting her hard at some point in the middle of their sexcapade… or maybe they bit one of the others, they aren’t sure anymore.

She accepts it with a thanks and takes a long drag. She sighs out the smoke, peers at Roach as if she could somehow pierce through the shadows and take a good look at them. “You are young, darling,” she croaks out. “Way too young to be doing this shit.”

“Smoking?” Roach asks innocently. Words read out from a script, tone sweet, face immobile. The face of a ghost really, one that haunts and judges them.

The woman shakes her head and then points with her thumb at the room behind them. “I bet you aren’t even thirty yet.” She tilts her head at them, eyes narrowing and still trying to see. “Whatever happened to you… you can opt out. It isn’t easy, but you can move on, you can leave your old self behind. It’s never too late…” A coughing fit interrupts her fortune cookie monologue, and Roach is super ready to skedaddle now.

They stand up, rub their hands together. “Speaking of,” they exclaim with fake enthusiasm, “I should hit the road now. It was a pleasure, really,” they add just as if they were wrapping a 5-cents bow around used pair of socks. Here, happy birthday.

Roach jogs off before she can add anything else.

“Hag,” they mutter around their cigarette. They stop as they catch a glimpse of their reflection in the window of a stripped car. The face scowling at them is silently judging them for stealing it and then using it to lure in humans. “It’s poetic, ok?” Roach explains with a tense grin. “You fucked me over so this is my way to return the favor, pet.” The reflection doesn’t reply, but Roach doesn’t care. They don’t care. They never cared, actually. Who said they ever did?

---

Slow, deep breaths. Inhale, one… two… three… four. Exhale, one… two… three… four… five… six…

Horizon opens their eyes. They are crouched in front of the ceremonial pitcher. Looking down at their reflection in the water makes something like a thumb-size metal ball roll in the back of their skull. They wince in pain and lose whatever little balance they had before. Horizon doesn’t yelp when they fall back on their ass; the sudden waves of nausea coming up like lava inside a volcano could turn a bad situation into a nightmarish one at the flip of a hat.

“Ah,” they whine in a whisper, “if there truly is anything out there, up there, or around, please make it stop.” They run a hand down their face, suppress a fiery belch.

They blindly look for the pitcher and submerge their other hand in the cold water. Dominus Dove and Domina Basil would blanch in horror and anger, but right now, this is the best Horizon has felt since Velour dragged them out of bed, wrapped their robes around them, and pushed them into their office.

Running wet, cold fingers through their messy hair is the best feeling in the world, so they continue this little ritual for a while… and another while… and a little longer…

The door opens just a crack and Horizon’s gaze jumps to Velour’s so fast that the metal ball comes back with a vengeance. An arrow piercing their brain back to front.

“Ahh!”

“This isn’t happening,” Velour hisses as they slink into the room and close the door behind them. “Tell me this isn’t happening.”

“This isn’t happening,” Horizon mutters trying to smile through the pain. They open their eyes to find a very frowny, very serious Velour staring down at them. The smile slips off their face like a slug going down the drain. “I’m so sorry, Velour.”

“As you should,” they reply coldly, and Horizon wants to cry because there’s so much more to their tone than just scorn; they are truly disappointed and they have all the right to be.

“I’m a mess,” the words sound strained to Horizon’s ears, and they can feel new tears threatening to spill down their face again.

Velour’s jaw tightens before they crouch down shaking their head. “You are drunk,” they whisper in a mellow way. “And we can’t let anyone know that.”

“No, we can’t.”

“Alright, I’ll tell them you are indisposed. Wait here, and please, stop playing with the sacred water, Domini.”

Horizon can feel themself blushing in embarrassment, but they nod nonetheless and almost don’t wince when the metal ball ricochets around their skull.

Velour steps out of the room, their voice booming in the cabin, “Domini Horizon has fallen ill with a fever. Today’s prayers will be under my supervision.”

“Are they ok?” somebody asks.

“Yes, but they are very tired and would appreciate being left alone in their cabin. Any concerns or questions you have can be brought to me.”

Efficiently, they march into the office again. “Lean on me, Domini,” they instruct and Horizon does as they say. A few moments later, The Domini is back on their feet and being herded out of the office and through the cabin. They keep their head down, letting their hair cover their face.

“Poor Domini,” another person loud-whispers, “they are drenched in sweat.”

Next to them, Velour tenses up, but they don’t let their discomfort show in any other way.

Once in Horizon’s cabin, their assistant sits them on the bed and fetches them a glass of water.

“They aren’t worth any of this, Domini,” Velour says, and Horizon keeps still, lips barely touching the water. They look up at their assistant but say nothing. “That’s all I wanted to say, and that’s all I’ll say on the subject.”

Horizon puts down the glass on their lap, both hands holding it still. They lower their gaze before softly replying, “Noted.”

Velour makes to leave. They open the door before saying over their shoulder, “And stop drinking. If I come back to find you drunk again, I swear I’m leaving. For real this time.”

Horizon nods slowly, and doesn’t look up until Velour closes the door behind them. Once they are out, the Domini puts the glass down, next to the bed, carefully lies down, and lets the ugly sobs come gushing out of them like muddy water from a broken levee.

[babymetaldoll]

I've been working out a little bit (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: Yes.

Summary: Spencer has been working out with Penelope, and they are doing their best to keep it a secret. Until (Y/N) finds out and tries to help. And though he doesn't want to because he is embarrassed about his poor athletic performance, somehow she manages to help.  

Category: Fluff

Warnings: Curses, frustration. Good old fools in love.

Word count: 3.8K

A/N: Hello, pretty people! I've missed you! I hope you like this little story. It's one of the last requests pending on my list. Tomorrow I can finally visit my grandparents, I'll be taking care of them for at least two weeks, and though I know it's hard work, I am just so happy I can be with them again!! I miss them! Take care, whenever you are! Love you!

Masterlist

                                    𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

- "No fucking way, Spencer!" (Y/N) widened her eyes and laughed so hard tears filled her eyes. She was sitting at her desk at work, staring at her best friend, who could barely walk due to the two hours he had spent that morning training with Penelope.

- "Please, don't tell anyone."- he whispered and looked around the bullpen. He was too embarrassed already to let anyone else know he had to take the mandatory fit test. He wanted to avoid the jokes, especially Derek's.

- "Your secret is safe with me, as always, chipmunk"- (Y/N) smiled and bit her lips, trying not to laugh anymore- "But why on earth are you working out? You have enough case hours to cover a fit test!"

- "Apparently, I can't skip it this year. Both me and Penelope have to take it."- Spencer whispered and sat down very slowly, pain written all over his face.

His best friend stared at him reading the mix of embarrassment and physical pain he felt with each movement he made. (Y/N) smiled and opened one of her drawers, looking for the last Snicker she had hidden in case of need. Watching Spencer in pain was precisely the case. She stood up and handed him the candy, making his heart skip a beat. Spencer did his best to hide the blush on his cheeks and just looked away.

- "I can help you if you want."- (Y/N) whispered and cut him the most adorable smile she had.

- "Help me what?"

- "Working out."- she replied and bit her granola bar- "I can teach you how to kick ass, and I do look hot wearing sweat shorts."

Spencer nearly chook. He flushed and closed his eyes, trying to cover up his embarrassment. But (Y/N) giggled and turned around. Her job there was done. Now Spencer had to be picturing her in her sweat shorts.

Of course, he was. He couldn't stop, actually.

The two agents were the youngest of the team, and somehow sometimes in-between cases, it showed. Especially when they were on their own, and their conversations ended up in casual flirting.

(Y/N) was head over feet in love with Spencer, though she was never going to face it. God knows Penelope had tried to force her to deal with her feelings. But she was closed as an oyster. No matter how much Garcia insisted or how drunk they were, (Y/N) kept denying her true feelings in public.

Spencer wasn't indifferent. Not at all. As a matter of fact, he was in love with (Y/N). Everything about her bewitched him. Ever since the first time he laid eyes on her, he felt it. She was tailor-made for him. If only he weren't a nervous wreck each time he saw her...

After two years working together, Spencer had managed to overcome part of my shyness and awkwardness around (Y/N). They were best friends, and they would usually hang out in their free time. The little free time they had in the BAU. But even when they could playfully flirt all the time, Spencer was sure she didn't like him that way. He convinced himself she was just joking.

--

(Y/N) headed to the Batcave holding a large frappuccino and knocked on the half-opened door before walking in.

- "Penelope García, I had the feeling you were running caffeine low."

- "Oh my pretty little thing! How do you do it? You read my mind!"- the tech analyst nearly hyperventilated as soon as she held her ice and creamed coffee.

- "Reid and I were out for a little break, and I knew you would like one of these to cheer up your afternoon"- Garcia sipped her frappuccino and nodded. But as soon as she had finished savoring the perfect coffee, she asked.

- "So, you and Reid..."

- "We were out getting coffee, like the best friends we are."

- "But, there's coffee here in the kitchenette. There's no need to go out and get coffee unless you want to find an excuse to be alone with him."- (Y/N) raised an eyebrow and sighed. Garcia did that every single chance she got.

- "You and I know the FBI doesn't share our concept of "good" coffee."- (Y/N) looked at her friend and just smiled- "Besides, I told you, I felt you needed some extra sugar and joy in your life after your early workout session this morning."

- "That little snitch!"- (Y/N) chuckled and shook her head.

- "Don't get mad at Reid. He didn't tell me anything. I kind of figured there was something wrong 'cos he looked in so much pain just breathing."

- "Oh man, he is sored, but I am sure he would be way sorer if you train with him."

- "I offered myself to help him"- Garcia raised an eyebrow at (Y/N) 's words, and the young agent wide opened her eyes, blushing- "Stop staring at me like I'm a perv! I meant helping him train for the test. I could help you too."

- "Thank you, but no, thank you. I trained with you, and there's no way we are going to do all that boxing again."

- "Come on! You said you had fun!"

- "I did! I really did... but I could barely move the next day! And I had a date! I couldn't even dance, less doing... other... nevermind"- Penelope stopped herself in her tracks and shook her head.

- "Shit, PG!"- (Y/N) closed her eyes and chuckled- "Spare me the details."

- "Sorry... anyway... you and the little genius should definitely train in a more... horizontal way."

- "Garcia! Stop it!"- (Y/N) laughed and stood up- "I'm gonna go back to work 'cos clearly you have some hormonal issues today, and you are projecting."

- "Stop acting like you haven't thought about it!"- Garcia said and chuckled as her friend walked away.

- "I'm not telling you anything."

- "That means yes!"

- "No! it doesn't!"- (Y/N) was blushing; that's why she refused to turn around and look at Penelope.

- "Oh! It so does!"

--

The end of that day found Spencer even more sore, hungry and weary than he had felt in years. All he wanted to do was go home, eat pizza leftovers from the night before, and go straight to bed.

Until...

- "Hey, chipmunk!"- (Y/N) looked at Spencer, gathering all his things and getting ready to go home.- "Dinner at my place tonight. My treat."

- "I can pick the take out tonight?"- he said immediately and asked himself where did that come from if, a second earlier, all he wanted to do was to go to bed. Probably from the same place that kept coming back to the image of her in sweat shorts.

- "Even better. I'll cook"- (Y/N) answered and winked, playfully- "You deserve a proper homemade dinner after all the workout you did this morning."

Spencer looked at her and didn't even notice the silly smile on his face. If he had known how in love he was looking, he would have probably slapped himself. (Y/N) sighed and stood up.

- "I'm gonna take that silence as a "Great (Y/N)! Thank you! How considered! I'm so lucky to have you in my life".

Spencer rolled his eyes and shook his head.

- "Thank you, (Y/N). But I'll give you more praise if your food turns out to be eatable"- the young agent gasped, pretending to be insulted by his words, and hit Reid's arm with her knuckles.

- "Auch! (Y/N)!"

- "I'm being nice, and you are insulting me! I'm having second thoughts about driving you over!"

- "I can take the subway! You are such a slow driver I can actually be there faster."

Spencer stuck out his tongue at her and ran to the elevator, 'cos his friend widened her eyes and ran after him, probably to hit him again.

Morgan and Prentiss stared at the scene in silence, sharing a few looks, both of them thinking the exact same thing: "When are these two goofs ever going to hook up?"

- "They are annoying"- Rossi stood next to Emily's desk and crossed his arms on his chest.

- "They are in love"- she corrected, but David shook his head and sighed.

- "I know, and they are adorable, but it's so annoying staring at the same scene over and over again, waiting for something, anything, to happen between them."

- "Are you turning into a bitter old man who completely forgot about the charm of being young and in love?"- Prentiss raised an eyebrow and turned to Rossi. The Italian stared right into her eyes and shook his head.

- "I'm just saying someone should try to tell them something."

- "I've tried to talk to him about her a million times. But Reid is one private kid."- Derek said from his desk as the three of them stared at Spencer and (Y/N) getting into the elevator, still arguing and playfully playing.

- "And he is so insecure. He doesn't think she likes him."

- "Likes him? She is clearly in love with him!"- Prentiss said, annoyed- "I swear, if nothing happens between them this weekend, I'm going to intervene."

- "Now who is forgetting about the charm of being young and in love?"- Rossi joked and sighed- "Come on guys, dinner's on me."

--

(Y/N)' s dinner was a success. Spencer ate two portions of honey mustard-glazed chicken bake. She even managed to make him eat vegetables. And Spencer didn't even argue. Not only because it was delicious, and his body really needed some homemade dinner. But also 'cos (Y/N) got him wrapped around her fingers, even without knowing it. And if she asked him to eat veggies, Spencer (no matter how much he would argue) would eat his damn veggies. And he could actually enjoy them.

- "Ok, chipmunk, you ate all your food. You earned your dessert"- (Y/N) smiled and picked the dirty dishes from the table.

- "Let me do that. You already fed me. The least I can do is do the dishes."

Spencer followed her moves and took the dishes to the sink. (Y/N) didn't argue with that. It wasn't the first time Spencer cleaned the kitchen with her, after all. They had been good friends, close friends, for a long time, and they were used to being around each other.

But this time, it felt somehow different. Like there was something in the air warning them things were about to change for good.

- "Ok, doc. Do you wanna eat your dessert watching tv for a while?"- (Y/N) handed Spencer an ice cream bowl with chocolate chips on top and some whipped cream.

- "A smiley ice cream bowl?"- Spencer chuckled as he stared at it. He loved it.

- "Yes, you are never too old to eat food with a smile on it. And that's a life lesson, Spencer Walter Reid."- she said and walked to the couch, holding the remote control.

- "You are filled with wisdom, (Y/N)"- Reid teased her and sat by her side.

- "I know. It would help if you let me train you. You would pass your fit test in a blink."- she said and continued surfing channels.

- "Thanks, but no thanks. I wanna do it on my own."- Spencer glued his eyes on the screen and ate his dessert. (Y/N) just nodded and continued surfing channels.

- "Why?"- she asked him after a few minutes. They had been watching an old movie in silence, just eating their ice cream.

- "Why what?"- he whispered and looked at her just for a second. He didn't trust himself around (Y/N), especially under those circumstances: alone in her house. She had changed into leggings and an old extra-large sweatshirt. Her hair was in a messy bun. And Spencer didn't feel able to look at her into the eyes, 'cos he was going to cave in. He was going to grab her face with both hands and kiss her right there. No questions asked.

Which is why he avoided looking at her.

- "Why don't you want me to help you train?"

- "Just because"- he answered and glued his eyes to the screen. But (Y/N) knew better. She moved closer to him on the couch and held his hands. Spencer shivered right away at the sensation of her skin. It was so warm and soft. All he craved was some more of that. He wanted to feel her. Touch her. Taste her.

His head was going way too fast, and just because she held his hand.

- "Spencer, look at me"- she whispered and practically begged her friend to pay her attention- "I just wanna help. It's just a stupid fit test. It ain't hard."

- "For you."- he mumbled and looked down at his hand as her fingers played against his skin.

- "I didn't want you or anyone to help me 'cos I'm a fucking SSA who should be perfectly able to perform a simple fit test on his own. But no. I can't! And do you know what that means?"

- "That finally I know there's one thing you are not good at?"- she answered and smiled at him. Spencer raised his eyes and met hers. He knew his cheeks were all shades of pink, but for once, he just didn't care. He just wanted to look at her and see if she meant it. Or if she was just teasing him.

- "Right"- he snorted and shook his head.

- "I mean it, Spencer. You don't have to be good at everything."

- "It's a fit test. It's basic to be an agent. I need to be able to catch an unsub."- (Y/N) frowned and tried to understand where all that self-doubt and insecurity was coming from. To her eyes, Spencer had nothing to be ashamed of. To her, he was perfect in every single way.

- "You already catch unsubs, chipmunk. Everyday. You don't have to kick down doors to make a profile. And you don't have to run six miles to get the bad guy. Everything that you do every day at work is what an SSA is supposed to do. And you excel at it."

(Y/N) sighed and smiled at her best friend, trying to push aside the urge she felt to kiss him. His golden-brown eyes looked so big, like honey pools, she could stare for a lifetime. Spencer didn't know what to say. He really wasn't good with praises. He wasn't used to them. Not in that way.

- "Besides"- (Y/N) added after a few seconds of silence when she realized she might have said too much and started panicking.

- "It feels good to finally know there is one thing I am better than you at."

- "What are you talking about?"- Spencer answered right away, in the sassiest tone of voice.- "Just because I suck working out doesn't mean you are better. Even at my lowest, I'm still better than whatever you can do in a gym."

Reid was obviously joking. He knew (Y/N) could kick ass. Not only had she saved his life many times on the field, but also, he had seen her working out. And she could definitely kick his ass if she wanted to.

That didn't mean he wasn't going to tease her just because.

- "You take that back, Reid!"- she threatened him and

- "No"- he sentenced and crossed his arms on his chest

- "Last chance. Take it back, or you will pay for it."

- "Make me."

And that was it.

In a second, (Y/N) was on him tickling him, and trying to practice a chokehold on him. But Spencer was faster, and somehow, stronger than her. Maybe it was because he was struggling with himself. A part of him wanted her closer, and a part of him didn't want her too close, 'cos he knew his pants were going to start feeling too tight if she did.

Whatever the reason was, after two minutes of wrestling, Spencer had (Y/N) pinned down against the couch. And the way she panted against the fabric of the cushion wasn't helping him with his pants.

- "Spencer, it hurts"- she cried and tried to move from his grip, but he didn't let her go.

- "If you want me to release you, you have to say I am the best agent in this house."

- "Never!"- (Y/N) quickly answered and continued struggling.

- "Just say it, I've got you held, and I'm not going to let you free until you say it."- something in his tone of voice, it was teasing but also... sexy? (Y/N) knew Spencer wasn't trying to act that way, but it was working for her in a way she hadn't imagined. He would be so soft. And now, there he was, acting like a dominant man, holding her tight, not letting her move, literally pinned against the couch.

If only it were all happening in a different context.

- "Let me go, Spencer Reid!"- (Y/N) battled against his arms, but it was useless

- "Just say it"- he leaned in and whispered in her ear, and (Y/N) sword she could almost feel his smile as he spoke.

- "You are the best agent!! There, happy?"- she mumbled, making her best to sound annoyed and not turned on. Spencer released her, and she quickly sat down properly, rubbing her left wrist.

- "Did I hurt you?"- Spencer whispered and noticed how flustered she was. That was a first.

- "No. But I gotta tell you, you are stronger than I thought."- she said and stuck out her tongue to him, trying to be playful and innocent, though you could feel it in the air. That moment was anything but innocent.

- "Yeah, I've been working out a little bit."- Spencer answered and chuckled at his own words.

- "Well, you are going to have to learn how to control your new strength, 'cos this is going to leave a bruise"- (Y/N) whined and showed him her sore wrist. Spencer winced, ashamed he had been so hard on her without meaning any harm. He moved closer to her and held her wrist carefully. (Y/N) just looked at him as he kissed her wrist a few times.

That man couldn't be real. He was such a tease.

Did he know all the things he was, in fact, doing to her with that simple touch?

He surely had to know. Otherwise, there was no explanation, she thought.

- "Thanks"- (Y/N) whispered and fixed her eyes on his lips, still landing small kisses on her wrist.

That was when she stopped breathing. Spencer was literally breathtaking. He smiled at her, and she just couldn't help it anymore. (Y/N) leaned in and kissed him. It was a soft, short peck. But she had dared to do the unthinkable.

She kissed her best friend.

Spencer widened his eyes, shocked, and looked at her, not saying a word. They just stayed still for a good thirty seconds until Spencer finally made his move, cupping her jaw carefully with both hands and pulling her face against his.

The way she moaned into the kiss made him feel more in control than he had ever been before.

It was a soft kiss but intense. Spencer's lips rubbed carefully against her mouth, and his tongue moved carefully, making its way until he could taste her. (Y/N) moved closer to him until she was basically sitting on his lap, and his arms wrapped around her body, locking her against him.

They were in heaven.

Until it was over. Their phones buzzed at the same time, breaking the spell, ending the charm. (Y/N) jumped from Spencer's arms and grabbed her phone.

- "We've got a case"- she whispered and turned to him. He was agitated, his cheeks were red, his pants felt tight, and he was starving for more of those kisses.

- "Ok."- he replied but didn't move.

- "I'm gonna change, then we can go."- (Y/N) added, but he didn't say a word. To be fair, Spencer wasn't processing what was going on. He was still trying to elaborate a coherent thought. And most of all, he was fighting the boner in his pants that didn't let him stand up.

You could blame all the sugar in his body after the massive bowl of ice cream, or all the praising (Y/N) had given him, but Spencer found a new level of courage in that kiss. He decided it was time to stop overthinking it. It was time to act on his feelings.

- "(Y/N)"- Reid knocked on her bedroom door and heard her from the walking closet.

- "I'm almost ready. Did you talk with Garcia?"

- "No, but I don't wanna leave things like this. I wanted to talk about what just happened."

(Y/N) sighed and took a look at herself in the mirror. She could still feel her cheeks burning after that kiss, after feeling her best friend hard underneath her body, holding her against him. But she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what Reid was about to say. Most of all, because she was sure it was going to be something along the lines: "That kiss was a mistake, you are my friend. I don't wanna ruin this."

- "That kiss was..."- he mumbled and walked to her as soon as she showed up in the room, but words were hard to find when she looked at him that way.

- "Spencer, I..."- she tried to speak, but he just continued.

- "Would you like to..."

- "Pretend it didn't happen?"

- "Go out on a date with me?"- the two of them said at the same time and widened their eyes in shock.

- "What?"- (Y/N) questioned and stared at her best friend in shock- "You want to go out with me?"

- "You want to pretend it never happened?"- he asked her, scared he might have rushed to the wrong conclusions.

- "No, no, no, I don't... I can't pretend it didn't happen"- (Y/N) quickly answered and held Spencer's hand, afraid she might have ruined everything.

- "I was just scared you were going to reject me or..."- (Y/N) bt her lips and dared to look at him- "I wanna go out on a date with you"- she whispered and watched his whole face change as a big silly grin drawn on his lips.

- "Really?"- he murmured, still not sure it was actually happening. He asked her out. She said yes. He was sure that was never going to happen in real life.

- "Really"- she assured him and leaned in slowly to kiss him one more time. But her phone rang again, and so did his. This time it was a message from Hotch. Wheels up as soon as they reached the FBI.

- "But after we catch the bad guy."- (Y/N) added, and Spencer chuckled.

- "Sounds like a plan."

Spencer Reid’s taglist: 

@calm-and-doctor @all-tings-diego

Requested by @shilohpug​ 

[rudystopit]

Study Date

[iida Tenya x f!reader] 

summary: you and the other girls started making bets on who the class rep. has a crush on. you decided you’d find out yourself. 

*all characters are third years* 

warning: nsfw but wholesome, stripping, squirting, overstimulation, praising, and fingering. 

wc: 3.4k

You sat with mina and momo at lunch. they sat quietly. You look around. You see the class rep. You two make eye contact and he shyly waves. You flash a bright smile and wave back. You turn back to the other two.

“Let’s make a bet,” you say. You catch their attention. “Who does Mr Iida Tenya have a crush on?” You smile.

“$5, no one,” momo says, “he seems like he’d be the type to say ‘he doesn’t have time’” she laughs.

“$10 Uraraka,” mina says. You write down their bets as the rest of the girls show up.

“Whatcha writing?” Uraraka asks, looking at the paper.

“Bets, want in?” You tell her. you move the notebook so she can see it.

“What are we betting on?” Tsuyu asks, sitting next to mina.  

“Who Iida likes,” mina laughs,  “I said Uraraka,” Uraraka’s face goes red.

“$5 y/n,” Jirou says, sitting down next to momo.  

“Why me?” you ask.

“he stares at you all the time,” Jirou says.

“yeah,” all the girls say.

“i change my bet,” mina says. “$10 on y/n.”

“how about i ask him on a date and you guys pay me the bets, since you guys all think he likes me,” you sneer.

“ok,” mina says.

“fine. $5 each,” you say, getting up. you walk over to where iida is sitting. he’s reading and he looks up to see you. he smiles.

“hello, y/n,” he says sweetly.

“hey, i need help studying for that test. can you help me out?” you ask.

he smiles and says he wouldn’t mind and to come by his dorm this afternoon and he’ll help you. you thank him and walk back to the table. they all act natural when you turn around.

“so?” tooru asks.

“i’m going to his dorm tonight to study,” you sit down and they talk about what think is gonna happen. they start another bet if you’re gonna sleep with him or not.

that afternoon, you walk to his dorm. you wore a simple hoodie and some shorts. you held your books in hand. you didn’t need help on study but it was the only thing you could think of on the spot that didn’t sound to “datey.”

you knocked on his door. you heard some shuffling and the door opens. he stood in the doorway with a white shirt and some sweats. you smile. “hey, y/n, come in,” he opens the door wider.

his dorm was super clean. like show room clean. you doubt there’s even a speck of dust. damn he must clean everyday. you sit at the coffee table and he sits on the side next to you. he opens the textbook and starts reading what the test is going to be about. you zone out to his calming voice. you start to drift off to sleep.

“y/n!” he yells. you snap awake. “really? you asked for help,” he’s voice is rough.

“sorry, it just so boring,” you huff. you put your head on the table. he looks at you. a small smile creeps onto his face. you shoot up with an idea. “let’s make it a game!”

“like what?” he asks. you smile.

“ok, hear me out, every question i get right, i get to ask you a question wrong, one piece of clothing off,” his face gets red, “your choice of clothes, if you want,”

“no,” he almost yells. his face is super red.

“come on tenya~” you beg. “studying is so boring so let’s make it fun!”

“n-no y/n,” he stumbles. you give up and put you’re head on the table. you play with your hands, embarrassed. he probably hates you now, you thought. “well, maybe we could,” you turn your head to him. “w-we could try it. i just don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he played with his hands.

“ok,” you answered.

“ok, umm,” he asks a question about the cell structure. you messed up the er and golgi body. his face goes beat red when he had to pick something for you to take off. “s-shorts, i guess, you don’t want to it’s fin-“ you stand up and pull them down and toss them to the side. you plop back down.

he asks about aerobic respiration. you answer correctly. “shirt,” he pulls it over his head. he looks away as you look at his toned abs.

he asked about the main parts of the cell. “easy, membrane, nucleus, and ctyoplsm,” you answer. “left sock” he gives you a weird look and pulls off his left sock.

“ok describe a lysosome,” he asks. he leans his elbows on the table as you described something and is totally not even close to a lysosome. “wrong,” he smiles. “give me your left sock,” he smiles. you take it off and throw it at him.

“here’s an easy one,” he says

“hey i’ve gotten two correct so far!” you yell.

“ok, do you want a hard one?” he leans over to you. “you really want me to take your clothes?”

your face goes red. “just ask the question.”

“where are organelles found?” he asks.

“in the cytoplasm,” he smiles.

“let me guess, my right sock,” he laughs. you hold out your hand. he pulls it off and hands it to you. “described cell theory,” you ramble on about cell theory but you miss a small part. “ooh so close but you missed apart, hand over the sock,” you glare at him and give him your right sock.

he asked about the parts of a nucleus. you answer. you almost didn’t get it right up, but you caught yourself. “well, gimme the pants,” his face is bright red the whole time he takes off his pants. he sits back down and won’t look you in the eyes. you’ve never seen his legs up close or with out the mufflers. you let your hand crease his calf. he tenses up. he crosses his arms and closes his eyes as you feel his leg.

“does it ever hurt?” you ask mindlessly.

“sometimes,” he answers. “not my legs but the rest.” you’ve heard about his quirk but you never could fully understand it. “let’s get back to studying,” his tone felt serious. he asks about the mitochondria and you say some dumb shit.

“come on. it’s literally the easiest thing to remember,” he yells.

“damn i’m sorry,” without thinking you take off your hoodie and hand it to him. he freezes and his face goes instant tomato red. you completely forgot what bra you were wearing. the lacy black one that you only wear when it’s a special occasions or laundry day. your cheeks get hot as he stares. “next question!” you yell.

“uh... ummm... oh, here, which organelle’s function is likely to be impaired because of an mutation?” he asks trying not to look at you.

“i don’t know ribosomes,” he looks at you with wide eyes. ha you got it right.

“c-correct,” he stumbles. he straights get up.

“the glasses! four eyes!” you’re beyond red. you hold out your hand. he takes them off. you stare at him. he only got hotter. he looks at you squinting.

“what?” he asks.

“n-nothing, next question!” you say looking away.

“Which of the following observations tells her that the organism is eukaryotic?” he asks with the book inches away from his face.

“ughh ribosomes again?” you say. he squints at you.

“no,” he quickly looks away and holds out his hand. you take off your bra and hand it to him. he looks at it and squints. face, red. he drops it. “bad time to ask for my glasses back?”

“iida tenya did you just flirt with me!” you joke.

“n-no i meant to read the questions!” he gets all fluster. you put the glasses across to him. he puts them on and blinks a few times. then he looks at you. his mistake because he instantly looks away with a mad blush.

you laugh and crawl over to him. he refuses to look at you. you grab his chin. he looks at your face only. “it’s okay, tenya. i don’t mind,” you drop his chin and grab his hand. you bring it up to your chest. he doesn’t know what to do at first but he looks down and starts squeezing it softly. his cheeks are super red. you smile at how cute he is. his hand drops and he turns tkt be book.

“well we should get back to work,” you decided not to fight it and sat down and waited for the question. “are you single?”

“yes,” you answer. “hey that correct!” you joke. he looked at you like deer in headlights. “i’m joking. also why would i ask to play this game if i dating someone?”

“i don’t know,” he says shyly. “What type of microscope would be most effective for studying a living cell?” he asks.

you thought a little bit then answered magnifying glass. he looks at you. “wrong” you got up and then turned around. you slowly pulled down your panties. you tossed them at him which he dodged. you laugh and sit back down.

“umm, Which of the following choices correctly describes the composition of a ribosome?” he asked.

“contains RNA, proteins, and... lipids?” you ask. he pinched the bridge of his nose, he sighs.

“no,” he looks at you. “what now?”

“hmm. you seem like you’ve never touched a girl so i guess everyone i get wrong you can explore?”

he’s overwhelmed. he’s way over his head. you broke him. “n-no,”

“fine ask me a question about myself,” you say leans back on your elbows. your whole body on display. he couldn’t help but stare.

“Based on the diagrams, which organism(s) are eukaryotic and why?” he slides the book to you. you sit up and stare. he soaked in every inch of your body.

“2 and 3? cause? they both have the tails?” you questions.

“come on y/n,” he huffed. “are you doing this on purpose?”

“yes,” you answer bluntly. he’s jerks back stunned.

“what do you mean?” he asks.

“nope, one question per lost,” you wave your figure in his face.

“Which of the following junctions form a watertight seal between neighboring cells?” then he lists four things. you think about it and try remembering that lesson. you remember hearing tight junction.

you get close to tenya and you put your index finger on the band of his boxers. you whisper in his ear “tight junction,” you snap his waistband. you sit back down facing away as he takes them off. you look over your shoulder. he’s scowling at you.

he flips through the book, “What is the primary function of the rough endoplasmic reticulum?” he asks and looks at you. you stare off thinking of the answer.

“modifying proteins!” you shout. he smiles.

“okay, hit me, what something your dying to know?” he laughs leaning on the table to hide his lap.

“virgin?” you ask.

“...yeah,” he says shyly.

“awww,” you yell and put your hand on his arm.

“Which of the following proteins attach desmosomes to one another?” he asks.

“a what?”

“desmosomes are junctions that attach themselves to its neighbors,” he explains. you move closer. you warm your arms around his. he tenses up and tries to push you off.

“like this?” you laugh.

“y-yes y/n g-get off,” he gets you off.

“hmmm, connexins?” you ask.

“nope, why are you doing this?” he asks in a hella scary tone.

“because,” you answer laying down, looking at the ceiling. you turn to him. he’s rubbing his temples.

“no seriously y/n!” he yells.

“damn fine, because i wanted to know if you liked me,” you answer sitting up. you tweedle with your hand. “mina and the other girls said they catch you staring at me and we wanted to know if you liked me,” you mumble. “it’s fine you don’t and i can leave if you want,” you reach over to grab your hoodie.

he grabs your wrist, “we’re not done studying,” what the fuck is up with him and study...

you sit back down and he looks through the book. “ah, Which of the following is a function of the extracellular matrix?” and he lists stuff out.

“i don’t know, storing genetic info?” you say shrugging. you weren’t feeling this anymore. you feel exposed and kinda tired.

“wrong, do you like me?” he asks.

“i guess,” you look at your feet. “after today yeah,”

“ok, Which of the following statements is true regarding gap junctions?” he asks.

“tenya, i don’t know, can we just stop,” you ask.

“nope,” he sighs, “fine, here’s a different question, Which of the following statements regarding chloroplasts is false?”

“thylakoids are pigments found in the chloroplast that’s what give plants the green color,” you sigh.

“correct,” he says. “what’s your question?”

“can i leave?”

“no, ask a better one,” he rolls his eyes.

“fine, who do you like?” you huff looking at the book. he moves next to you and grabs your chin. he lightly kisses you. it takes a second for you to process what is going on. he pulls away. he puts his hand on the back of his neck and laughs.

“i’ve liked you for awhile now. i just thought you had i think with someone mina is friends with,” he smiles. you just blank stare at him. you brain is somehow empty but also having a million consecutive thoughts at the same time. “sorry, you can leave if you want,” he moves back to his spot on the floor.

you practically lunge at him. your arms around his neck. you sit on his lap. you smash your lips against his. he’s taken by surprise but he closes his eyes and his hands make their way to your hips. you smile into the kiss. you part your lips and swipe your tongue across his lips. he pulls away.

“sorry, i’m not tha-“ you cut him off but kissing him and shoving your tongue into his mouth. you explore ever inch and your fingers tangle in his hair. his hands explore your body. he feels every inch of your back, ass and shoulder.

you pull away with a string of silva connecting you two. “i want to,” you pause. he thinks for a second. his eyes widen and he blushes.

“are you sure?” he asks. “we don’t have to it you don’t want to,”

“do you want too?” you ask.

he looks you on his lap, “yes, a lot,” he smiles. you get off of him and stand up. you hold out your hands for him. he grabs them and stand up. he pulls you to him and you rest your head on his chest. he kisses your head. you look up at him and he kisses your forehead. he starts to walk and you stumble back. he keeps giving you small pecks around your face. you giggle as he plays with your hands while walking. the cold back hit the wall.

he leans over you. he looks down at you and smiles. you smile back.

“you’re so beautiful,” he whispers. he dips his head to your neck and kisses till he find the spot that makes you melt. he leaves it purple and he drops your hands. his hands travel down your sides and onto your thighs. he grabs them and pushes you up. you hop in his arms. he grips right under your ass

“little hands there, lover boy,” you laugh.

“i’ve been wait so long for this, let me,” he winks and carries you to his bed. he lays you down gently. he kisses your neck and leaves a trail of small kisses down your chest and to you stomach. he rubs your hips. you tangle you fingers in his blue hair.

he smiles and moves away from you. you sit up, watching him. he squats down to his dresser and shuffles the clothes around. you hear a box get ripped open. you start laughing. of course he’s prepared. he looks over his shoulder.

“you’re cute,” you say. he blushes even more and you hear the ripping of plastic. he puts the condom on and walks back to you. he leans down and cups your face. he smiles down at you.

“are you sure?” he asks. you nod. “use your words, darling,” his thumb rubs your cheek.

“yes, tenya, i’m 100% sure i want you,” you whisper. he kisses your forehead and he pushes his tip in. you moan into his chest. he’s grateful you can’t see his face. you grab his hips and pull him closer.

he stretches you out. everything about him is huge so why wouldn’t his dick be just as big. you squeeze your eyes shut and moan louder into his chest. he bottoms out.

“are you ok?” he asks.

“yes ten,” you smile. he leans down and kisses your cheeks and travels down to your neck. he kisses your collarbone. you roll your hips slightly and tenya’s breathing hitches. you move him hips and he takes control. he slowly thrusts in and out. you wrap your legs around his hips. your arms snake around his back. he hugs you and picks up the pace.

“damn, y/n you feel so good,” he whispers. he starts slamming into you. you claw into his back and moan into his neck. “god you sound amazing,” he loves how your pussy clenches around him. he starts groaning in your ear and he comes. he lays on your and pants on your neck. he pulls out and walks to the bathroom.

you hear the water running from the sink. you lay there. he comes back and crawls in bed behind you. his huge arms wrapping around you. he kisses the back of your neck. he picks you up and sides underneath you. he’s sitting up against the headboard and you’re snuggled into his chest. one of his hands slides down your stomach. he slips two fingers in between your folds. he rubs a small circle around your clit. you bite your lip and move your legs wider. he keeps one of his arms across your chest.

“come on, darling, i want to hear you,” he says and moves his fingers faster. you let out a breathy moan. he kisses your shoulder. he moves his two fingers to your entrance. he slips them in. you out his name. he pumps his fingers for a little bit then curls them. you try to arc your back but his arm holds you against his chest.

his fingers rub against the rough part of your pussy. he moves his fingers at an inhuman speed. you moan out, “come on princess, come on my fingers,” with that you come undone on his fingers. he keeps his pace and you ride out your high until you feel like you have to pee. he keeps going.

“tenya, too much,” you moan out gripping onto his arm and wrist. he keeps going. yelled out and you felt a liquid flow out of you. you pant and you bury your face into his arm.

“yes, good girl,” he pulls his fingers out of your aching pussy. you watch him rub his fingers together with the slick fluid. he kisses your neck. “don’t worry baby. i just know the female body,” he kisses your shoulder.

he scoops you up bridal style and walks you to the bathroom. he sits you on the toilet while he starts a bath. you head swirl and you felt like passing out. you hang your held and close your eyes. tenya moves to sit in between your legs. his arms wrap around you waist. you put your hand on his head. you pet his soft hair. you two sat like that for a few minutes.

he moves away and feels the water. he takes your hands and pulls you up. he kisses your forehead. he pulls your closer into a hug.

“you’re amazing,” you whisper. he chuckles and pulls away. he climbs into the bath and follow in with him. you lay your head on his chest and the warm water relaxes your muscles. his arms are wrapped tightly around you arms. you played with his fingers. you drift off the sleep.

a warm sun hits your face. your eyes slowly open and your met with a sleeping tenya. you smile and shuffle closer to him. he smiles and grabs your waist and pulls you to his chest. you kiss him. he kisses back and opens his sleepy eyes.

“that’s a great way to wake up,” he mumbles. you giggle and snuggle into his chest.

[negasonicimagines]

Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,” Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.