#i mean my bedroom is the smallest room in my flat so when i say tidied i really mean i moved some shit off the chest of drawers

[yarnbirdsss]

I would just like to say. today I tidied my bedroom and I feel like a bird that made a really good nest and now I am going to Nest In It okay thank u and goodnight.

[icallhimjoey]

Are you still taking requests?

If yes, I’d love to read about pure domestic bliss. Peak Soft!Joey! Things he does for us that make us go all speechless and love him even more. Little things like running us a bath when he senses we had a shit day, takes care of us when we’re home with a cold…things LIKE THAT!

I could really use that rn. <3

um, so, hyper independent reader not used to someone wanting to take care of us in the smallest of ways???? goooooooot it got it got it Wordcount: 3.3K

---

For You

You rarely asked for help.

Didn't need any.

Joe thought hard, but couldn't remember you ever asking him for anything. Or anyone else for that matter. You didn't ask for help in big ways, but also didn't ask for help in any of the small, little ways.

You did things yourself. Didn't bother people and, even though things took time and effort, and were sometimes a real bitch to figure out by yourself, you always did. Eventually.

Sorted through whatever on your own, because that's how you'd always done it. How your childhood had shaped you. What you'd gotten used to. Who you'd become as a person.

You took care of, well, everything. Were organised in ways Joe couldn't even really phantom a person being organised.

"What do you mean you just fixed my washing machine yourself?"

"Was just the little motor inside, I opened it up and it needed a little part replaced."

"What the..."

"Was easy. I watched some tutorial on how to–" you stopped, had to laugh at the face of shocked disbelief and somehow sheer annoyance he made and finished, "There's tutorials for fucking everything online, it really wasn't that hard."

Yea, Joe wasn't so sure.

"All right then, I guess I'll go and cancel the order I placed for a new one."

Because he would have never even thought of opening whatever panel on the back of whatever machine to have a look inside. To look up what he'd be looking at, and to get a screwdriver out to fiddle around inside.

It was out with the old in the the new far to easily with Joe.

Didn't go like that with you.

You took care of shit yourself. Were the person that people would come to for help. Because that's what you did. Took care of your own shit and helped others with theirs.

It took some actual getting used to for Joe.

Girls had never been like that before with him.

They'd ask for shit, would whine at him in a soft baby voice until he'd do whatever they'd asked. Sometimes it'd be cute, but it could be annoying as fuck too. He'd always cave, however, and it would somehow genuinely increase his well-being. To make someone else happy by doing a small task they asked of him. Fed his ego a bit. Upped the self-esteem a little.

And it wasn't that you didn't accept help when it was offered to you.

Not at all.

You just never asked.

It took weeks for Joe to learn that he'd have to figure out for himself what he could do to help. To take care of you sometimes.

It was why sometimes, when you'd be sat doing whatever paperwork needed doing, or answering whatever e-mails needed answering, Joe would silently wander around your flat.

Looking for things maybe he could do.

Things that maybe you'd left for a bit.

Joe wasn't big on cleaning.

Or organising.

But he could pick up clothes that were left discarded on the bedroom floor. And he could shove whatever products were left out in the bathroom into a drawer. Could open the dishwasher, dishes still dirty, but stacked all wrong, not leaving enough room for the rest that were left on the counter still. He could sort that out for you, no problem.

You always thanked him with a squeeze in his side, or soft kisses to smiley cheeks. Made Joe blush a little, knowing he'd found a thing he could do to help, to ease your load and make you happy.

Until one sort of weird Friday afternoon. It had just gone noon, and Joe received a weird text.

"quick q, did you say you had work today?"

Just things he had to read.

"they wont let me leave on my own"

What the fuck?

"Hey, what's going on? What do you mean they won't let you leave on your own?" Joe decided he needed immediate answers, and called in response to your texts.

"I'm fine," was the first thing out of your mouth, quickly followed by, "Don't worry. If you don't have the time, I can see if–"

"Answer my question, please." Joe cut you off.

"I... I don't know, I keep feeling– I'm dizzy. I lost my balance and fell when my foot got stuck on a threshold– I'm not hurt," you were quick to assure, not wanting to worry Joe.

"Did you faint?" Joe was already on his way out the door.

"No, I'm not lightheaded or anything. Just feel like I'm gonna be sick, and like, my eyes won't stay still. It's more annoying than anything else. Mary says I probably haven't slept enough, or something."

You sounded like it too. All annoyed. Frustrated by the way your body was letting you down in the middle of a work day and now had to ask someone to do something for you.

Had to ask your boyfriend to come pick you up.

Like that was the end of the world, somehow.

"All right, I'm out the door." Joe said, coat billowing behind him as his legs rushed him down the street. "Do one thing for me, yea? Don't fucking move."

Not like you could. Moving your head made you want to throw up. Maybe you just hadn't had enough water and were a bit dehydrated. Or a lot hydrated. You didn't know, but thought having water would be a good idea anyway.

You had little sips in the reception area of the office until Joe arrived.

"Hey," 

"You all right?" Joe crouched down in front of you, one hand on your shoulder, then on your cheek. He ducked his head to look you in the eye.

“Yea fine. Just dizzy when I stand. Or move. That’s all.” 

“She hurt her wrist,” Mary said loudly as she walked over.

You did a quick Joe, Mary - Mary, Joe, introducing them to each other. Joe stood up straight and they shook hands, exchanged polite smiles, and then turned their worried gazes back onto you.

“It’s fine, nothing serious,” you gave your hand a twist and turn to showcase how fine you were. When you’d suddenly lost balance, you’d braced yourself with your one free hand. It would maybe take a day or two for it to feel normal again, it had just taken a blow. 

"It'll sort itself out."

"Are you accompanying her the whole way home?"

"Yea, took the tube here, but," Joe looked at you whilst he fished his phone from his pocket. Unlocked it with his face and swiped to find the Uber app.

"We're getting an Uber back." 

Good. Yes.

You were glad.

You would probably feel just as sick in a car, but the hassle of escalators, tunnels, stairs, more tunnels, more stairs, the hot air but the cold winds, and just, other people... even just thinking of the whole process, of public transport, made black and white spots creep up behind your eyes.

Mary seemed glad too, told you to get some actual rest, to take it easy and to feel better soon as Joe helped you onto your feet and guided you out of the building.

You had to lean into him heavily, nausea gripping you by the throat as you walked down to where Joe said you'd be picked up in a minute.

Focussing strongly on putting one foot in front of the other and not moving your head around too much, your mind echoed left, right, left, right, left, right. You felt Joe's grip strengthen around your waist as the world kept pulling you to the side.

"Jesus, do we need to go to A&E?"

This wasn't the time for jokes. You were busy trying to generally survive. The lack of balance, the world spinning and tilting, was disorienting and didn't leave room for humour.

"Have someone look you over?"

Joe wasn't joking, though.

"No," you swallowed. A mistake. "I just need to lie down and be still."

Joe helped you slide into the car, then used his fingers on your jaw to tip your head back against the headrest. Held a palm over your forehead a second, making sure it stayed in place before he carefully got you into your seatbelt and shut the door as softly as he could.

Sitting still like this, it was okay. Head back, sat up right, no weird smells.

This was fine.

You told the driver not to worry. Lied and promised him you didn't feel sick, just dizzy, and prayed you wouldn't actually throw up.

Joe rounded to the other side and slid down the seat to be right beside you. Sat in the middle seat, and after doing up his own seatbelt, attention was back with you.

An arm pushed through behind your neck, curled around your shoulder as you got pulled in.

Resting your head on Joe's shoulder wasn't any better than having it upright and tipped back, but Joe used a large palm that covered most of your scalp and then softly scratched fingers into your hair.

That was better.

You closed your eyes when the car pulled onto the road.

Having the actual world move fucked you up way more than you thought it might do.

The light that moved as you drove still filtered through enough, so you turned your head and hid your face against Joe's arm. Found darkness and peace there, and took measured breaths. Tried to ignore how your brain felt like a carousel. Could still taste the coffee you had about an hour earlier.

"Just crossed the river," Joe softly spoke near your ear.

He was taking you home.

"Five more minutes."

When you arrived, Joe wouldn't let you get out of the car by yourself. Said, "Hang on, wait here," and rushed out to jog around where he opened your door. Then he turned, and crouched down. Got down on one knee, and held out his arms behind him to guide.

"Joe, I can walk,"

You'd never ask to be carried.

"This feels safer. Come on."

But Joe insisted, and so you slid from the backseat right onto Joe's back. Slung arms around his neck and rested your head on his shoulder. Closed your eyes again, which didn't really help the nausea, but it felt nice to pretend you weren't really there.

Joe walked with bent legs, never fully straightening his knees, and you got the smoothest piggyback ride you'd ever had, right into your flat.

Right into your bedroom, where...

"Oh, fuck,"

You looked up, peeked over Joe's shoulder and, you remembered as you saw it.

You'd stripped your bed that morning, threw all sheets and covers into the wash and had planned to make the bed later, when you'd get back after work. Would use the other set that you didn't like the feel of as much, but which looked nicer.

"Okay, sofa." Joe turned on his heel, spun too quick, and made you groan with discomfort.

"Sorry, sorry," Joe stilled completely. Waited a couple seconds. Said sorry again and then walked you over into your living room where he carefully lowered himself and let you slide onto your sofa.

"How are we doing?" Joe checked in, went to close the curtains to get the place as dark as it possibly could in the middle of the day.

"Just need to sleep it off, I think," you said, trying to control your breathing as you bent over slowly to take off your shoes.

Your hands got moved aside by Joe, who moved to sit down in front of you on his knees.

"Sit back,"

And so you did. Inhaled deeply. Exhaled slowly. Accepted that the room was just going to be spinning for a while, nothing you could do to make it stop.

Joe took off your shoes and gave both socked feet a rub before coaxing you to lay back.

Throw pillows got moved into place, a blanket got draped over you, and Joe felt something pang inside of his chest at the sight of you laying flat on your back like this.

You were a side sleeper.

Would always curl up into a ball, would pull your knees up all high that would get Joe in the back some nights. Most nights. Joe always had to turn around and move one of your legs to hook over his hip to omit the uncomfortable press of boney knees into his spine.

Joe had never seen you try to fall asleep on your back before.

"Need anything else?" Joe whispered, still hovering over you, now toeing off his own shoes.

Not like you were going to ask, were you?

If Joe wanted to take care, he'd have to ask you for what you needed.

You hummed, said, "Nothing," slung an arm over your eyes and then followed up with, "Quiet.".

All right.

Joe could be quiet.

It didn't take you long to fall asleep at all, thank fuck.

For a second, Joe thought of going back home. Leaving you to get some rest, ensure your place would actually be quiet. But then he thought of your bed, and decided, might as well make it.

Joe found a set of sheets, but knew it was the one you found a little scratchy. Then he found your washing, transferred it all into the dryer as silently as he could and then thought, yea might as well, when he saw you'd left the bathroom messy.

Joe tidied up.

Decided halfway through he could also cook later. Take on dinner.

What else would he appreciate someone doing if he couldn't move without holding onto a wall?

Lots of things.

He was going to do them all.

Joe moved around with intention, shuffled on his socks, did everything as quietly as he could. Still closed cupboards too loudly, and made himself wince several times. He would freeze and would listen if he could hear you stir, if he'd disturbed you.

Not a peep from you. Not once.

Good.

Joe found the fridge empty, then grabbed your reusable shopping bag and your keys. Would only be a minute.

Downstairs, he checked your mail, opened your little metal post box and found a slip for a delivery that you'd missed, for a parcel that needed picking up. Decided to do that too, because, why not.

When Joe got back and carefully went to check if you were asleep still, he saw that you'd curled up with both your knees pressed into the back of the sofa. Couldn't help but smile to himself.

Nearly three hours later, you jolted awake. Took a look around the room, frowning, squinty eyes, and tried to figure out what woke you up. Why you were on the sofa again. What day it was.

You could hear the oven close in the kitchen, and let your head drop back down onto the soft pillows from the sofa.

You remembered.

And you felt... better. Sort of... just fine. You noticed gravity was pulling at you just right again. Huge difference compared to before, when it got you from all different sorts of angles.

Shaking your head side to side, everything felt solid. Steady. And you were really fucking hungry.

"Joe?" you called, and had to cough right after.

"You're up!" Joe stepped into view, drying his hands on a tea towel and he... Joe looked windswept. Untamed. Disheveled and tousled, face all flushed. All smiley and excited looking.

"How are you feeling?"

The opposite of how Joe looked, but, fine none the less.

"Better," you smiled through squinty eyes.

"Yea? No longer dizzy?"

"I don't think so," you shook your head once more, to check. Felt fine.

"Feel sick?"

"No... I'm hungry."

"Yea?"

"Yea." you looked around, still a little dazed and, what was that smell?

"Good, dinner's in the oven." Joe made his way over, and took a moment to grin at you. Leant down and just grinned at you. You didn't know what was so funny, but Joe made you laugh anyway.

You still felt a little shaky when Joe kissed you. Small pecks. Then a long one. Another grin, followed by a suspicious frown from you, and then, more kisses.

"What?" you asked when Joe wouldn't stop smiling.

"Nothing. Just glad that you're okay. How's your wrist?"

You rotated it. Gave it a little shake.

"Bit sore, but not bad, thanks. And thank you for coming to get me from work, I really couldn't have– I don't know what happened, do people get their balance affected from lack of sleep, do you know?"

"Yea, I googled, and apparently, you can. So that could be it, but it also could be a million other things." Joe shrugged.

Hmm. All right. Well, at least you felt better now. Nausea gone. Vision no longer swimming.

"Want to take a bath?" Joe suggested, and you groaned at the suggestion.

"Yes,"

"Okay, be careful, the water was practically boiling when I filled it fifteen minutes ago,"

You gasped softly, immediately pouted.

"You... you already filled the tub?"

Joe's eyes twinkled.

"Babe, I did so much," he exclaimed all proud, and started going down the list.

Joe had done a massive food shop, picked up a parcel from the post office, cleared out the dishwasher, tidied the bathroom, folded the laundry and put it all of it away, made dinner, made the bed–

Joe had to stop when he saw your eyes blinking rapidly, eyelashes wet. You seemed overwhelmed, a bit.

"Are you..."

A sob wrecked from your throat and you immediately laughed, because you were well aware you were being silly.

"You're crying?" Joe asked, smiling, already pulling you in so you could hide your face into his chest.

"You didn't have to–"

"Stop, I know I don't have to. I wanted to. Believe it or not, sometimes people enjoy doing things for you."

People usually loved it when you did things for them, but, you loved doing things for other people, so you understood.

"You made the bed?"

You knew Joe fucking hated making the bed.

"Yea, used the nice sheets,"

"I put the others in the wash this morning–"

"No," Joe corrected. "I put those in the dryer and used those," Joe pulled back, tilted his head down enough to catch your expression. "The other ones are– they don't feel great, right?"

Joe saw your face scrunch up again and quickly tucked you back under his chin.

"Maybe just get rid of those all together,"

"They were an expensive–"

"I'll get rid of them." Joe said, knowing you probably never would yourself.

Unbelievable.

You didn't deserve Joe.

Joe would disagree and fight you on that, so you didn't say that shit out loud.

Joe held you for a bit longer, his affection pouring over you until it was dripping down the sofa and leaving puddles on the floor.

"Bath's getting cold," Joe eventually murmured into your hair.

"Thank you," you managed to croak out as you accepted the kisses Joe pressed to your forehead before he helped you up from the sofa.

He held wary arms out, ready to catch you if it turned out that standing up was still a task too tricky, but you seemed steady enough. Could walk towards the door without going sideways.

"You know what?" he said, hand on the small of your back, guiding you across the room.

"Get in the bath, I'll join you in a sec,"

You caught his little smirk as he looked at you over his shoulder, stepping closer towards the kitchen.

"With dinner." Joe finished, and, fuck off. That sounded like the best fucking idea you'd ever heard.

"Hey," you said, making Joe stop, and for some reason, you caught a flicker of worry in his eyes before they softened as you smiled.

"Thank you," you said again, this time more earnest than you'd done before.

Joe needed to know you were grateful.

"Anything," Joe started, squeezed his eyes shut tightly to bring his point across properly.

"Anything for you."

the end

---

The Taglisted

@adoreyouusugar, @alana4610, @ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @barfightzanddiscolightz, @bettyfrommars, @cancankiki, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @dylanmunson, @eddies-puppet, @electricmunson, @emma77645, @emmamooney, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @frootvelvet, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @harringtonfan4, @haylaansmi, @jasminearondottir, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @kellyxo1, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @miserybeans, @nadixq, @notverywise, @paola-carter, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @roosterisdaddy36, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @thebellenouvelle, @thewondernanazombie, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

[theonotti]

Theodore Nott | Headcanons | After Hogwarts Edition

in my head, Theo didn’t fight for the death eaters in the war and CC does not exist thanks

The first thing Theo does when he gets his own place is get a cat.

The oldest cat the shelter has.

The cat would have a really stupid name like Fork and that’s 99% of the reason that he picked her.

“She’s a bloody fucking bitch. I love her dearly.”

Lowkey depressed

He lives in a one bedroom flat with a balcony so he can smoke and star gaze.

Keeps a tidy living space.

He tries to be a plant person but they always die

And i mean they ALWAYS die.

He has multiple bookcases lining his walls that are FILLED with books.

His occupation after the war is as an Unspeakable.

Only speaks to you about it

Hosts his friends often.

Movie nights. Dinners. Holidays. Regular hangouts. Despite having the smallest living quarters, he’s still the most likely to have them over.

Never the first to send a text

(Well almost never.)

Lives near a lake that he can walk along, similarly to how he’d walk along the Black Lake at Hogwarts.

Out of all of his friends, he sees Mattheo Riddle and Draco Malfoy the most, but he still sees Enzo, Blaise and Pansy often.

Somehow got even less talkative after the war because family trauma.

Only really talkative with his friends and you.

Becomes obsessed with muggle music now that he’s not worried about his parents finding out.

He’d listen to a little bit of everything.

Slow dancing across his kitchen floor.

Cannot go to sleep until he’s checked on Fork and given her at least 3 kisses on the top of her head.

Still the funniest person in any room.

He loves thunderstorms and will open the balcony door to listen to them.

You know he’s had a nightmare when he texts you really late at night (which happens more often than either of you would like).

He learned how to cook from his mum, so every time he cooks, he feels close to her.

Which means he cooks almost every night.

Feeding his friends and you is his love language.

Doesn’t use any magic when he cooks, just like she taught him.

He’s outgrown a lot of his anger that would cause him to get into fights as a student, still has a temper though.

He’s also cut down the amount of cigarettes he smokes a day to under ten, but he isn’t quite ready to quit yet.

He tries to go to the local library every couple of weeks.

fighting for your life as every day is a battle of the wits with him.

you: if i say i love you, you gotta say it back

theo: ok

you: i love you

theo: it back

theo: jk i love you

He keeps journals and saves every one.

Has only two pictures hanging up in his flat: one of his mum (the only one he has of her), and one of himself and you.

Basically walks everywhere.

Absolutely refuses to drive.

He’s gentle with everything.

His belongings.

His cat.

But most of all, you.

Favorite social media is snapchat and he sends you lil pictures throughout his day (when he’s not working obvi).

It’s his only social media actually, he hates the others.

Has a key made for you for his flat so you can come over whenever you please.

“babe” and “my love” are his favorite pet names.

He travels a lot for work and he always tries to see something cool when he’s there to show you.

With his dad in Azkaban, mum gone and no siblings, Theo thought adult life would be a lonely one.

But with his little found family from school, as well as you by his side

He couldn’t explain what loneliness feels like if he tried.

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

I'll Keep You (My Dirty Little Secret)

Ao3

Summary: Steve buys weed from Eddie, cuz he's the best. To be honest, he's the only person their age Steve knows to buy from. Somedays he stays and smokes with Eddie. And then one day, Eddie's big mouth makes an off handed comment and things... change. For better or worse, remains to be seen.

Word Count: 12,891

Warnings: THIS FIC IS EXPLICIT!!! 18 + ONLY!! MINORS NO NOT INTERACT!!! anal fingering, anal sex, hand jobs, dirty talk... would be one.. maybe. Idk. See the ao3 link for more details. MAKE GOOD CHOICES!!!

One day, they're sitting in Eddie's bedroom in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday, smoking whatever weed Eddie had deemed worthy of King Steve. And they talk, sometimes, when they do this, have been smoking together off and on for about a year now. And Steve's complaining about something, being a little whiney. And Eddie just snorts as he literally whines about something and kicks at the bed and Eddie says,

"Jesus. You need to get fucked." And he takes a long drag before moving to hand the joint to Steve, who scoffs at him as he takes it, a little red around the ears as their fingers brush.

"I fuck. I can have any girl I want, haven't you heard?" And Eddie gives him credit. He at least sounds... self depreciating, like he knows those words are just high school bullshit. Like he doesn't believe them. Like maybe he wished people wouldn't say that shit about him. But that's not what Eddie said. Eddie lets his head fall back against the headboard, lets it fall to the side so he can watch Steve take a drag.

"That's not what I said." Eddie says. Smiles hazily when Steve turns to him slowly.

"Huh?" Is all he gets. Eddie motions with two fingers for Steve to pass it back, noting how Steve's eyes linger on his hand.

"I said you need to get fucked. Not fuck. There's a difference." His voice is flat, he takes another drag. The last one they're getting outta this one, and stubs the rest out in the ashtray on his nightstand.

Steve is staring at him. Much more red around the ears than he'd been before. Eddie just lets his head fall to the side again, watching him.

"Wha- you- I'm not- I mean I don't..." He's staring into his lap, face bright red. Eddie smiles to himself, he's so cute when he's embarrassed.

"Aww c'mon Harrington. You've never even thought about it? As much time as you spend around naked dudes in the locker room? Not once?" Eddie's teasing now, waiting for Steve to storm off, or to punch him. Maybe both. He's high, he wouldn't mind either one right now. He feels good, and riling Steve up is one of his favorite pass times.

But Steve's doesn't do either of those things. He just, glares at Eddie, flushes another shade darker, Eddie's pretty sure smoke's about to start coming out of his ears. So Eddie laughs, a small thing and bumps his shoulder into Steve's, says,

"C'mon man. I'm just fuckin with you." And shakes his head, rolls his eyes, gives Steve a break and looks away from him. But then Steve speaks, in the smallest, most unconvincing, voice Eddie has ever heard him use.

"That's not why I play sports." It's barely above a whisper. Eddie looks back at him, his head lifting a little, Steve's hands are worrying at the blanket on Eddie's bed, one knee pulled up to his chest now, and fuck, he looks so small. What the fuck just happened? Eddie clears his throat awkwardly, sits up a little, angles himself toward Steve a bit.

"Yeah? You sure?" Eddie asks, pushes, genlty. He shouldn't, probably, but he's never been good with impulse control. And then Steve is glaring at him again. Eyes full of fire, and Eddie sees his hand clenching, knows what that usually means so he keeps talking.

"Cuz if it was... or if- if you did... want that? I could probably help you out. Ya know. Teach you some stuff. I mean I'm not an expert or anything but... I don't know man you seem really uptight." He shrugs, tries to play it off.

Cuz he'd just fucking offered to what? Have sex with Steve Harrington?? Because what? He'd had a moment of sad, gay, puppy eyes, and Eddie was a goddamn softie at heart? And Eddie could trust himself to never tell a soul about it. And he knew Steve wouldn't say a word. Not ever. To anyone. And Eddie moves, slowly, toward the edge of the bed, ready to dodge, or run, if needed.

But Steve just fucking looks at him. Stares at him. His big browns eyes locked on Eddie, and Eddie can't fucking read him, not even when he's high, Steve is so fucking guarded. But right now? Steve's a fucking open book. His eyes are goddamn pleading with Eddie. And Eddie can practically fucking hear him, begging in his head, 'make this easy for me. Please.'

And Eddie's a gentleman, so he fucking does. Because he's also a goddamn idiot. Taking his life into his fucking hands here. Well, putting it into Steve's hands, really.

"We can't do it today. There's stuff you gotta like... do." He waves his hand at Steve, pauses, Steve doesn't interrupt, his eyes widen, Eddie swears he fucking nods, like he's listening, telling Eddie to keep talking. Eddie huffs, his hands shaking as he stands.

"I'll write it down. You can, do it before you come over next time and I'll- I mean we can... just do this, and I'll see you next time. Okay?" He finishes in a rush, folds the paper three times and shoves it at Steve, he'd followed Eddie off the bed, hovered behind him as he wrote.

Steve slides the paper into his pocket gently.

"Don't let anyone see that." Eddie warns, pointing at Steve's pocket. Steve nods quickly. Starts digging around in his other pocket for his wallet. Eddie grabs his wrist, cringes at the way Steve flinches a little and freezes.

"Forget it man. It's on the house. Just... I'll see you next time." Eddie lets go of him, waves him toward the door. Steve has one foot through the front door when he stops. Eddie swallows, hard, stares at him until he talks.

"Next week?" Steve asks, his voice small, Eddie opens his mouth to answer but Steve keeps talking.

"Or can I come sooner? If I- I don't... what if I change my mind?" He stammers, his eyes on the wall behind Eddie. And Eddie's heart is pounding but he fucking feels for this guy. So he walks closer, slowly, puts his hand over Steve's on the door handle, something in his chest rumbling when Steve doesn't pull away.

"You can come back whenever you want. Just not Thursdays. I have band practice. Okay?" Eddie moves his thumb over Steve's skin. Steve fucking smiles at him, and nods.

"Whenever I want but not Thursday." Steve repeats. Eddie nods.

"Good boy." He hadn't meant to say it. It just sort of... slipped. But he's so fucking glad he did. Steve makes a little noise in his throat and takes a stumbling step backwards, Eddie catches his wrist right before he tumbles down the stairs on the porch. Steve's free hand clutches at Eddie's shirt before he mutters a quick 'thanks' and bolts for his car. The tips of his ears are bright red and Eddie watches him drop his head in his hands quickly, rubbing at his face before he turns his key and speeds away. Eddie can't help the smile on his face when the guy fucking waves at him through the window as he leaves.

Eddie walks back inside, throws himself facedown on his bed, his arms wrapping around his pillow and pulling it against his face.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!" he screams it, as loud as he can, into said pillow, before he rolls onto his back. His hand resting on his chest, fingers drumming nervously as he replays whatever the fuck just happened.

"What the fuck?" He whispers to himself. What the fuck was he thinking.

~°~

Steve comes back the next day. Eddie hears his car pull up about 2 hours after he gets home from school. He peeks through the blinds and watches as Steve climbs awkwardly out of his car, his steps stumbling as he walks to the door. Eddie bites his lip, fighting a smile, and ducks down under the window when Steve starts up the stairs.

"Fuck." He whispers, a small amount of panic setting in. This was fucking happening. This was his fucking life now. He thanks his lucky stars that Wayne had odd shifts this week because other wise he'd have been sleeping in the living room. His thoughts are racing, and then Steve knocks. And his mind clears, for a brief fraction of a second his brain is just 'Steve'.

He opens the door too fast, Steve startles a step backwards.

"Sorry." Eddie grimaces. Steps aside.

"Enter." He says, giving Steve a little bow, Steve's forhead crinkles between his eyebrows but he steps inside awkwardly. Eddie shuts the door, gently, and locks it. His hands are sweating. He brushes them against his jeans and nods toward his room.

He shuts that door too. And locks it. Just to be safe. Then he twists his blinds shut and turns on just the small lamp on his desk, not sure either of them could handle this in the full light of day. Steve is standing awkwardly next to the bed, his face is turning red already and Eddie really wants to smile. Maybe even laugh. He's having a hard time believing he's causing that reaction in the King of Hawkins High.

"I did everything you said." Steve offers into the silence that's so rare in Eddie's room. And Eddie smiles then, really can't help it.

"Oh yeah. That explains the funny walk then." He crosses his arms, Steve shoves at his shoulder, his cheeks burning crimson.

"Shut up. I wasn't walking funny." He mumbles, wrapping his arms around himself. Eddie sways into his space.

"You were though. And if you weren't, you will be." He says, and once again his mouth is miles ahead of his fucking brain. He definitely hadn't meant to say that. Steve was gaping at him now, hands fisted in his jacket at his ribs.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I just- it's gonna be... I mean it'll feel different. After. Ya know?" Eddie grimaces again, wiping at his face with a sigh.

"Should I take my clothes off?" Steve asks, straight to the point. Eddie laughs humorlessly, shrugs, his hands flailing at his sides.

"I mean, it couldn't make it worse." He says, shrugging out of his own jacket as Steve shrugs out of his.

Eddie watches Steve yank his shirt over his head, and a few moments later they're both naked. Awkwardly so. Both of them standing there covering themselves, glancing at each other. Eddie takes a deep breathe and remembers he needs to take the lead here. Steve came to get fucked. Because of Eddie's big fucking mouth.

"You can lay down. On your stomach, probably best." Eddie points to the bed, finally letting go of himself and walking to the edge of it, his cheeks flush when Steve's eyes linger on him for a long moment.

He's worries he's not... big enough. Steve's dick is definitely bigger than his. But not by much. Okay maybe a few inches. And then Eddie's worrying he's not gonna be good enough. Talked a big game and doesn't even have enough in his pants to back it up. But the one or two other guys he'd been with hadn't complained. Not to his face anyway.

He gives Steve a tight smile and then nearly fucking passes out when Steve lowers himself onto the bed, his hips resting at the edge, his knees don't quite reach the floor so he's holding himself up awkwardly on his toes. And Eddie wants so badly to leave him that way, just tense and awkward and waiting for Eddie, but he can't. Not for Steve's first time. So he grabs his pillows, folds them in half and shoves them under Steve's knees. Steve gasps when Eddie's hand rests on his lower back for a moment, Steve's skin his hot. And Eddie's eyes can't stop fucking raking over his back, moles and freckles scattered everywhere, Eddie wants them in his mouth. And fuck, this is such a bad idea.

"That better?" Eddie asks, his voice quiet. Steve nods, his hands clenching in Eddie's sheets.

"Yeah, thanks." He sounds breathless already. And Eddie's only touched him once, innocently, because he'd nearly fallen over. Eddie nods, walks around to stand behind Steve, and he'd been trying so hard not to stare at his ass. Even though Steve was fucking baring it for him. Just, laying there, ready to take Eddie.

Eddie's fingers itch, twitching at his sides. His hands move, slowly, reaching out, his fingers nearly touching the skin of Steve hip when something occurs to him. He freezes, fingertips so fucking close to getting what they want.

"You don't have a girlfriend do you?" Eddie asks, his chest aching, begging, pleading, for Steve to say no.

"What?" Steve breathes, his voice muffled into Eddie's bed, he pushes himself up, onto his elbows, and looks back over his shoulder at Eddie. And fuck, if that's not the best sight Eddie's ever fucking seen. He gulps, knows he must look like an idiot, standing there behind Steve. His dick hard, hands reaching out to Steve, but not touching yet, he has the sense to drop his hands at least, when Steve looks at him.

"A girlfriend? You don't have one? I mean, I don't mind being a side piece. But the main piece needs to know about it, ya know?" Eddie moves his hands to his hips, narrowing his eyes at Steve, looking at him sternly.

"No. I don't have a girlfriend. I go out... with girls, sometimes. But not- no." Steve shakes his head, bites his lip. But Eddie believes him. He bites his own lip then, but nods,

"Okay. Lay back down. Try to relax." He tells Steve this, is also sort of talking to himself. Steve nods, does as he told. And Eddie finally looks down, bites into his lip harder at the sight of Steve's ass right in front of him. He wants to get on his knees and fucking worship this ass. But he's pretty sure licking into Steve the first time might be a little too much for the guy.

So he settles his hands onto Steve's hips gently, his eyes tracing over Steve's shoulders when they tense at the touch, his skin warm under Eddie's fingers, but he can feel the goosebumps rising under his fingers as he moves them down, toward Steve's pert little ass. He takes a deep breath, willing himself not to fucking come just from touching the guy. It's not like he's a walking fucking wet dream or anything.

Eddie shakes his head, moves his thumbs, presses them into the flesh of Steve's ass and pulls, just a little, just enough to see what he wants. And Steve whines, his shoulders bunching again.

"You gotta relax." Eddie whispers, his hands soothing back up, moving slowly up Steve's back.

"I- I'm trying. It's weird." Steve grunts. Eddie stops. Takes his hands away.

"We don't have to." He says, simple, easy. Giving Steve an out. Steve's on his back in seconds, looking up at Eddie, and his cock is hard against his stomach, it looks almost painful. And Eddie wills his mouth not to water, because Steve is looking up at him with those fucking eyes.

"You don't want to?" And he sounds... goddamn he sounds fucking sad, about it.

"That's not what I said. You just- you're very tense." Eddie shakes his head, waves his hand in Steve's general direction.

"I'm just..." Steve trails off, sits up, covers himself the best he can.

"What? Seriously. It's fine if you don't wanna do this. I get it." Eddie offers another out, not sure if he wants Steve to take it or not.

"I'm just not used to like... diving right in." Steve says, his hand moving between them awkwardly, his eyebrows and nose scrunching, and fuck Eddie has got to stop looking at that adorable shit.

"Diving... right in." Eddie repeats slowly.

"Yeah man. I'm used to like... kissing and touching and stuff. And then...the sex. This is just... I don't know it feels awkward?" Steve explains, sighing and falling back onto the bed with a groan. Eddie bites his lip and sits next to Steve on the edge of the bed. Their hips press together and Eddie fights off the shiver that the touch of Steve's skin evokes.

"Sooooo..." Eddie draws, glancing down at Steve's hands covering his cock.

"You wanna kiss me?" Eddie finishes, eyebrow cocked as he looks down at Steve, his focus moving from his hands to his face. Steve's eyes open and he sits up, looks into his lap and then scrunches his nose and looks at Eddie.

"Maybe? Would that make it weird?" Steve asks, and Eddie has to fucking laugh. Steve drops his eyes back to his lap, looking embarrassed as Eddie's laughter rings through the room.

"Dude. I was about to fucking finger you. And you think kissing would make it weird?" He elaborates, shaking his head, eyes widening when Steve's eyes snap to his face.

"You were about to-" Steve cuts off, his chest going red now.

"Well, yeah, man. Gotta make sure you're comfortable first. I wasn't just gonna..." he makes a lewd motion with his hands that has Steve barking a laugh, one hand jumping to cover his mouth. Eddie makes a 'yeah' face, and looks into own lap, realizing his own fucking cock is still hard and just fucking, out in the open, he covers himself. Pressing his lips together in an awkward smile before looking back up to find Steve staring at him.

"So kissing won't be weird?" Steve asks again. Eddie shrugs.

"I mean yeah. It'll be weird. Cuz you're Steve Harrington, and I'm me. And the other guys I've been with, which is like, two, by the way, I'm not some kind of sex god or anything. Just- they weren't very touchy feely and I made it seem like I could fuck you. Like it was just a fucking. So that's what I was trying to do." Eddie rambles, shoves his face into his hands and groans.

"So yes kissing will be weird. But if you need to kiss me, before I fuck you, then that's- I want you to be comfortable. At least... ya know... until... I don't know." Eddie groans again and falls backwards. What the fuck was he thinking? That he could just, what? Give Steve Harrington a good fucking and move on with his life. Not a fucking chance.

The bed dips beside him, and he feels Steve's fingers on his chin, he squeezes his eyes shut, tight, and Steve's fingers falter, then keep moving. They move up over Eddie's cheeks, over and down the bridge of his nose, lightly over his eyelids and across his eyebrows. Steve's fingers move over his face, until his hand is cupping Eddie's cheek, his thumb resting on Eddie's bottom lip. Then, only then, does Eddie open his eyes.

"Hi." Steve breathes, he's smiling down at Eddie, and Eddie's not sure his fucking heart can take that look. Not from Steve. His chest his pressed into Eddie's shoulder as he leans over him, impossibly close.

"If you don't want me to kiss you I won't. But, and I don't mean to brag-"

"Yes you do." Eddie huffs, smirking back at Steve when his lips curl. Steve tilts his head, a little 'yeah maybe' look crossing his features.

"But I'm very good at it. Kissing I mean." He leans closer, his hair falling onto his forehead as he presses into Eddie's space, and when had he fucking lost control of this situation???

"Just like I'm sure you're very good at fucking." Steve whispers, his breath ghosting over Eddie's lips.

"I don't about- mmpf." Eddie's mumbles are cut off by Steve's mouth. He presses his lips to Eddie's, softly, too soft. Much to soft for what this is supposed to be.

So Eddie steels himself, moves his hand to the side of Steve's face, shoves his hand up into Steve's hair and deepens the kiss. He licks into Steve's mouth hungrily, growls in his throat when Steve whines into his mouth, his hips pressing into Eddie's thigh, looking for friction, and Eddie smirks against Steve's lips. He can give him friction.

Eddie flips Steve, pushes him down into the matress as he settles on top of him, moves his hands down Steve's sides and hikes his thighs up around Eddie's waist. Steve clutches at Eddie's back, tries to pull him closer. Eddie grabs Steve's wrists and pins them above his head.

"Hi." Eddie says, pulling away from Steve's mouth, a string of spit hanging between them, Steve's pupils are blown, his pretty brown eyes almost black now.

"Hi." Steve breathes back, he's almost panting underneath Eddie. Eddie smiles, licks Steve's lips with a moan and then looks down at him.

"I'm gonna finger you now. And then I'm gonna fuck you." He tells Steve, matter of fact. And Steve's hips jump up into him as Steve nods enthusiastically, his wrists fighting Eddie's hold on him.

"Yeah. Yes. Please." Steve says, fucking whines. His hips rolling against Eddie's.

Eddie leans over, lets go of Steve's wrists and reaches for his nightstand, grabs his lube and a condom. He places the corner of the condom packet between Steve's lips.

"Hold that for me. You drop it. I don't give you what you want." Steve's teeth clamp down on the foil but Eddie doesn't let go.

"I mean it. You drop that. I'm not fucking you. Got it?" Eddie asks, giving the packet a little tug, Steve's jaw clenches, his teeth hold it tight.

"Good boy." Eddie does it on purpose this time, relishes in the way Steve flushes, his hips roll into Eddie again and he smirks down at Steve as he whimpers around the condom packet in his mouth. Eddie pops the top on his lube and gets two fingers covered before he drops the bottle next to them and lowers his hand between them. He holds himself up a bit with one hand, hovering over Steve.

"If it hurts you can tell me to stop. Okay?" Eddie says, seriously, looking into Steve's eyes. Steve nods, once, firmly. Eddie nods back and slips one finger into him.

The sound Steve makes goes straight to Eddie's cock, it twitches against the back of Steve's thigh as Steve writhes beneath him, his eyes squeezed shut tight, jaw clamped shut as his teeth hold the packet between them tightly. He pushes his finger as deep as he can, rutting his own hips down as Steve pushes up into him. Steve's lips close over the packet as he moans and presses his ass down, trying to get Eddie deeper.

"Jesus. You're so fucking needy." Eddie groans, pressing his second finger to Steve's hole, gently nudging it next to the first. Steve's eyes snap open, his fingernails digging into Eddie's shoulder. He whines, his hip stuttering but still pushing down onto Eddie's finger as he moans,

"Please." As best he can around the packet in his mouth. And as good as he's being Eddie wants to fucking hear him, wants to fucking taste him. He drops himself onto Steve, his hand reaching for the packet, his fingers clamp onto it but Steve bites down harder.

"Fuckin let go of it. I wanna fuckin hear you." Eddie growls. Steve doesn't let go. Levels his gaze with Eddie, and fucking smirks. Eddie breathes out a laugh, his cheeks dimpling as he smiles down at Steve, lowers himself a little more.

"Oh you wanna play games?" Eddie asks, his voice low. Steve eyes widen as he looks up at Eddie but he grinds his hips down, deliberately, and nods, his teeth pulling on the packet clamped between Eddie's fingers.

"Okay pretty boy. You wanna be a brat? You wanna play? We can play." Eddie smirks right back at the little shit, and does three things at once, he grinds his hips down against Steve's cock, presses his teeth against Steve's neck, and slips his second finger into Steve nice and deep.

"Ah ah! Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!" Steve lets the packet go, breathes out his words like a mantra into Eddie's shoulder as he pulls his fingers out of Steve and then shoves them back in. Eddie drops the condom next to them and moves his mouth up Steve's neck, making his way to his mouth.

Steve is panting and writing, his hips stuttering with every move of Eddie's wrist. Eddie licks into his mouth as his fingers brush that perfect spot inside Steve and Steve fucking claws at him, one hand dropping to Eddie's wrist, pulling his hand closer, sinking his fingers deeper.

"Oh fuck. Eddie right there. Holy shit. Nnnnhh!" His voice goes high as he whines into Eddie's neck.

"Yeah? Right there? That's what you want?" Eddie presses deeper, harder, his fingers curling just so. He'd decided something when Steve wanted to play dirty.

"Gonna make you cum on my fingers sweetheart. Then I'm gonna fuck you til all you can say is my name." Eddie groaned, pressing his hips down harder, his cock pressed so perfectly against Steve's burning skin. Steve's fingers on his wrist clench hard as Eddie flicks his wrist just so, hitting that spot over and over.

"Yesyesyesyes Eddie please I need it!" Steve's almost yelling now.

"I know baby. I know." Eddie hums, licks back into Steve's mouth, in time with the thrusts of his fingers, the twin movements make Steve squim beneath, his teeth sink into Eddie's shoulder as he cums on Eddie's fingers, moans into Eddie's mouth as his hands tug and pull Eddie closer.

Steve goes limp beneath him, both of them panting into each others mouths.

"Fuck. Fuck. Jesus christ." Steve pants, trying to steady his breathing.

"Just fuckin wait." Eddie pants back, his head resting against Steve's for only a moment before he slips his fingers out of Steve and pushes himself up. Steve grabs at him, tries to pull him back down. Eddie swats his hands away easily, grabs the condom packet and tears it open with his teeth.

"Un uh. Told you. You wanted to play games. Remember?" He rolls the condom on with shakey hands, Steve's eyes widen as Eddie grabs his hips and flips him over, he shoves at Steve's thighs as Steve scrambles to find purchase in Eddie's sheets. He ends up tugging one of Eddie's pillows up under his chest, tucking his face into it as Eddie moves his hips against Steve's ass, his cock moving over Steve's hole, the tip catching and then sliding past, making Steve's hips jump, pressing into the matress.

Eddie grabs the lube, fills his palm and moves his hand over himself, pumping his cock a few times before lining himself up. He bends over Steve, his hand planted beside him, holding himself up, his head resting between Steve's shoulder blades.

"You ready pretty boy? Hm? Ready to get fucked?" Eddie asks, biting into his lip so hard he tastes copper.

"Mhmm!" Steve whines into Eddie's pillow. Eddie nods against his back, moves his hand to Steve's hips, holding him down as he slips his cock into him. All the way into him, in one thrust. His hips hit Steve's ass and he moans so loud Eddie's sure the neighbors had to have heard it. It makes him wanna hear it again.

So he pulls out and then shoves back in, his thighs trembling as he holds himself together. Steve whines this time, his hands reaching back, reaching for Eddie. And fuck he feels so good around Eddie's cock, who is he to deny him. He reaches for him, tangles his fingers with Steve's, shoves Steve's hands up above his head, their fingers still tangled, and he fucks into him, hard.

His hips grind down over and over, Steve making sweet little sounds with every thrust, Eddie grunting into his shoulder as he holds Steve down with his body. His skin feels like fire where he's touching Steve, which is nearly fucking everywhere. He moves one hand down, under Steve's knee, and pulls his leg up, yanks it up and hooks his elbow under it, then snaps his hips into Steve harder.

"Ah! Mmm!! Yes! Eddie! Eddie please!" Steve clutches at the sheets with one hand, his other still holding Eddie's, their fingers pressed so tight they're likely to bruise.

"Yeah. Right there?" Eddie asks, it's not a real question, his mind is fucking blank right now. Just a mindless loop of 'fuck and steve' over and over.

"Yeah yeah yeah right there! Eddie!" He whines his name, his hips grinding back onto Eddie's cock frantically as Eddie fucks him deeper into the matress.

"Yeah. Fuck. You feel so good Steve. Feel so fuckin perfect." He thrus6t down hard then, harder. The sound of their skin slapping together is absolutely obscene, and Eddie can't fucking get enough. He vaguely feels Steve nodding, hears him agree mindlessly as Eddie fucks into him, deeper and deeper as Steve begs him not to stop.

"Please please please! Fuck Eddie more please!" Steve begs, and Eddie's fucking eyes are gonna roll into the back of his head, he drops Steve's leg and props himself up, his hands braced on Steve's hips as he fucks him faster. His name falling loosely from Steve's lips over and over like Steve is living just to say it.

"Fucking christ. So good for me baby. Cum for me. Come on." Eddie thrusts his hips down hard, as Steve clenches down on him, both of them moaning as they cum. Steve's free hand scrambling backwards, grabbing at Eddie's hip best he can, trying to pull him closer, pull him deeper.

Eddie falls onto Steve with a grunt, Steve huffs underneath him, but doesn't try to move him. They lie there, panting together until their sweat starts to cool and Eddie rolls off of him. Pulling out of Steve with a wince as Steve hisses beneath him.

"Shit. Sorry." Eddie whispers, his hand moving over Steve's shoulders as he falls onto his back next to him. Steve shakes his head and Eddie pulls the condom off, ties it, and toss it into trashcan next to his bed.

He lets out a deep breath and pushes his sweaty bangs off his head, arms resting on his forhead.

"Jesus." Steve breathes next to him, rolling over with a wince. Eddie winces in sympathy,  looks down at Steve's softening cock and sees the fucking mess he'd made of Steve and feels his cock twitch. He sits up with a laugh, grabs his boxers off the floor and tugs them on.

"Be right back." He says, glaring down at his dick, willing it to chill the fuck out. He grabs a rag from the bathroom, lets the water get warm, and then pads back into his room. Steve is standing in the middle of the room, his shirt on, looking around the floor, for his pants and underwear, Eddie assumes.

"Oh. I uh... I got you this." He says, lamely, holding the rag out. The mess on Steve's stomach is gone. He takes the rag, his ears going red.

"Leaving already?" Eddie asks, trying to sound casual. Of couse he's leaving. He'd gotten what he came for you. Don't be a fucking idiot Munson. Little too late for that, but Eddie could be a little slow, just ask his teachers.

"Well I just- you got up, so I figured..." he trails off, lifting his shirt and wiping at his stomach though it's already clean. Eddie thinks he might have used the inside of his shirt. He tosses the rag back to Eddie with an awkward smile. Eddie catches it, wipes weakly at the mess on his sheets.

"Yeah. No. That's... Yeah. Probably for the best." Eddie mutters. His skin is itchy. And cold. Wants Steve's skin pressed against his again. Steve stops, his eyes linger on the floor before they land on Eddie again. He licks his lips, clearly about to say something. But Eddie doesn't let him, it's best he doesn't let him.

"Your pants are over there dude." He points behind Steve, to the piled up khakis.

"Shit. Thanks." Steve grabs them, angling himself away from Eddie as he bends to pick them up. And it hurts. Eddie knows it shouldn't. It was just a fuck. A really good fuck. Definitely the best Eddie's ever had, or been a part of, really. He rolls his eyes at himself and looks into his lap. Fidgeting with his rings as Steve gets dressed.

"Well uh... I should go." Steve says, quietly, as he lingers by Eddie's bedroom door.

"Yeah." Eddie nods.

"This has definitely surpassed your normal weed purchase time limit." He says, trying to tease, but his voice is tight. Steve must notice.

"Yeah." He sighs, rings his jacket in his hands before pulling it on.

"I'll- see you at school." Steve says, Eddie eyes snap to him and he sees the tail end of him cringing at his own words.

"Yeah. See you at school." Eddie echoes, flatly.

"Or ya know... next Saturday?" It's a question, and if Eddie's not going completely bananas, he thinks he sees hope in Steve's eyes. And his lips are curled up just enough, the ghost of a smile. Eddie licks his lips, his teeth sink into the tender skin and he nods.

"Okay. Saturday." He doesn't give Steve a full smile, tries not to give him one at all, but one must slip through because Steve smiles back, nods once, with finality, and leaves.

Eddie waits til he hears the door close and then he follows, runs to the window and watches Steve make his way to his fucking shiny expensive car. Eddie smirks to himself as he watches the waddle in Steve's step, the way he grimaces when he sinks in behind the wheel.

Eddie turns, leans against the door and groans, images of Steve in his bed flashing through his head. His cock twitches again and Eddie glares down at himself.

"This is all your goddamn fault. Ya know that?" He points accusingly at his own dick, huffs at himself, and stalks to the bathroom. He turns the water to cold, shoves his boxers down and steps in, squawking at the temperature.

"All your fuckin fault." He mutters again, shaking his head under the water, cursing himself as he beings to shiver.

~°~

It happens again on Saturday. And the Saturday after that. And the one after that. And one random Wednesday right before spring break.

Eddie never means for it to happen. Had just planned on the once. But Steve shows up, buys weed, and then ends up underneath Eddie chanting his name like a goddamn mantra and Eddie has clearly lost control of the situation. But it's fine. It's all completely fine. Steve stays after a few times, and they fucking cuddle, and talk, and it's... fine.

Until it's not.

Steve shows up one Saturday and knocks on the door, but when Eddie steps back to let him in, Steve steps back and down the steps, his fingers twisting together in front of him. Eddie's brow furrows, he crosses his arms over his chest, bracing, for whatever this is. Steve still doesn't say anything, so Eddie does what he does best, he opens his mouth.

"You're not pregnant are you?" He asks, his voice flat. And Steve, he fucking snorts, wipes at his mouth, shakes his head, sobers again. Eddie huffs, already annoyed by whatevers about to happen.

"Just say i-"

"I asked out Nancy Wheeler. We- we're going out on friday." Steve cuts him off. Eddie digs his nails into his ribs as hard as he can. Keeps his face neutral.

"Nancy Wheeler. You're upgrading." Eddie says, the joke is full of venom. Steve flinches a little, his brows creasing, and that used to be cute, Eddie wants to slap it off his face now.

"Eddie don't s-"

"You want your weed or not?" Eddie cuts him off, doesn't care what he was going to say. Steve looks startled.

"Oh. I uh... I guess, yeah." He stammers, takes a step closer.

"Forty five." Eddie holds out his hand. Steve's eyes widen as he takes out his wallet.

"Forty five? Last week it was like...fifteen." Steve laughs, but it's tense, and he hands Eddie forty five. Eddie smiles sweetly, grabs the bag of weed out of his pocket.

"Well last week you got the fuck me discount. This week, I'm the one getting fucked. So the price goes up." He tosses the weed at Steve and slams the door in his face.

He presses his back agaisnt the door hard, breathing heavy until he hears Steve's car pull away. He slams his head back once, hears Wayne's mugs rattle on the wall and steps away from the door.

"Fuckin idiot." He mutters, shuffling down the hall to his room, he walks through the door, eyes landing on his guitar.

"Just me and you again Sweetheart." He sighs, falling back onto his bed, he raises his hand into view.

"And just me and you." He lights a joint, takes a drag, sets it in the ashtray, and shoves his hand into his pants. If frustrated, angry, masturbation was a sport, Eddie's fuck walls would be decked out in medals. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, depends who you ask, it was not a sport. And the only person who had to fucking deal with it, was Eddie. And maybe his sweetheart, but she didn't have eyes, she wasn't a part of this. Eddie dropped his arm over his face as his hand moved faster and faster, he groaned angrily as images of Steve floated behind his eyes.

"Fucking idiot." Eddie groaned again, cuming to the image of Steve underneath him, clawling at his hips to get him closer. He wipes his hand on his sheets with a huff and rolles over, covering his head with his pillow, hoping to maybe just disappear for awhile.

~°~

He sees him at school, off and on. But he doesn't come to Eddie for weed anymore. So Eddie ignores him. Takes Steve Harrington off his radar and never looks back.

He sees him with Nancy once. Watches him pick her up and kiss her and watches him smile into her neck. He definitely doesn't hide in the bathroom until the bell rings because he feels like he's gonna puke.

And then he hears whispers around school. Apparently that new asshole, Billy something, had kicked the shit out of Steve. Eddie's stomach twists when hears the jokes people make. But he doesn't see Steve at school, for almost three days. Just three days of rumors and shitty jokes and no Steve.

And then Eddie pulls up to the trailer after school to find the Beemer parked outside. Steve is leaning against the side of it, arms crossed, head down, hair hanging in his face.

He looks up when Eddie parks, dark sunglasses hiding his face. Eddie squeezes his steering wheel hard, once, to stop his hands shaking, and then he hops out of the van. He walks over to Steve slowly, scuffing his shoes in the loose gravel. Steve carefully takes off his sunglasses, tilts his head as Eddie looks at him.

Eddie makes a show of it, crosses his arms and leans forward, studying Steve's face before he whistles, long and slow as he straightens up again.

"You look like shit." Eddie says, clicking his tongue. The corner of Steve's mouth, the one that isn't bruised, tilts up.

"You should see the other guy." He jokes, emotionless. Eddie nods, eyes wide as he hugs himself.

"Oh I have. He's been at school." Eddie says, nods to the trailer and starts walking that way, hears Steve follow him, easy.

"Oh yeah? How's that been?" Steve asks, holding the screen door for Eddie as he shoves his key into the lock. Eddie swings the door open, pauses to look back at Steve.

"Well, he's an asshole. Sooo... How do you think it's been?" Eddie frowns, waves Steve inside.

"Right." Is all Steve says, his eyes wander around the trailer slowly, Eddie leans against the small kitchen divider.

"So... did you need something for the pain or...?" He trails off, his hand hovering in the air between them. Steve's eyes move slowly over to Eddie, he's got that lopsided smile going on again.

"Or?" He asks, brow furrowed dramatically as he crosses his arms. Was he... trying to be playful right now? Eddie huffed a laugh and shook his head.

"So why'd he beat you up? You say something mean about his car?" Eddie asks, ducking into the kitchen, away from that playful look in Steve's bruised eyes. Steve snorts, follows Eddie, but keeps his distance, nods when Eddie offers him a water.

"Naw. Nothin like that." Steve shakes his head, grimaces, rubs at his temple. Eddie frowns, reaches into the cabnet next to the sink and grabs a bottle of Tylenol. He pops two out, hands them to Steve.

"Here. So what was it then? Like, the dudes definitely got those crazy eyes, so what happened?" He does not shiver when his fingers brush against Steve's hand as he takes the pills.

"Thanks." He takes a drink of water, swallows, then rests against the counter next to Eddie.

"Uh. Ya know Max? His sister. Step sister. Little red head?" Steve asks, holds his hand up about where her head would go.

"Yeah. Yeah I think I've seen her around. Always has a skateboard?" Eddie asks, lifts himself up to sit on the counter. Steve nods, gently.

"That's her. Well she'd been hanging out with Lucas, I guess? And Billy had told her not to?" Steve shrugs, Eddie makes a face.

"Yeah. Anyway, she kept hanging out with him. Cuz Lucas is a nice kid. But apparently Billy's a big ol racist. And he found them together, I was babysitting. He started threatening Lucas, so I punched him. And then..." Steve waved his hand at his face.

"He kicked your ass." Eddie supplied, talking into his water bottle before he took a swig. Steve huffed a laugh and nodded.

"Yeah. That's... pretty much it." Steve sighs, shaking his head lightly.

"That's scary man. The kids okay?" Eddie asks, moving his hands slowly over his knees. Steve swallows, hard, looks at Eddie for a moment, like he wants to say something. And then the moments gone, and he just nods.

"Yeah. Yeah they're good. I honestly think Max scared the shit out of him good enough that he won't mess with them anymore at least." Steve smiles softly at the thought, and Eddie wonders what happened to him. Not the fight. But.. in the few years it's been. He's so different, smiling while talking about hanging out with kids.

"Well hey. At least chicks dig scars right?" Eddie tries for a joke, but his voice misses by a mile. Steve looks at him.

"Yeah. I guess. What about-" Steve bites his lip, shakes his head, looks away.

"What about what?" Eddie asks, head tilting, he leans forward a little, trying to see Steve's face where he's turned away.

"I was gonna say, what about you? But it... I dunno, seemed, rude?" He doesn't look at Eddie when he says it.

"Rude?" Eddie asks. Steve looks at him then.

"Yeah, cuz of... I dunno how I just sort of left, that day. And... we haven't spoken since." He shrugs, but his ears are going that deep red that Eddie refuses to admit that he's misses.

"Oooh oh oh okay yeah. Rude cuz you fucked me, vigorously, and then abandoned me for Nancy Wheeler without warning." Eddie says, his voice light.

"Ya know I'd forgotten all about that." Eddie flutters his eye lashes, and waves a hand at Steve, dismissing it. Steve laughs, a real laugh, and steps closer, into Eddie's space. Moves between Eddie's legs, his hands resting on his knees. Eddie's eyes flutter closed, he's so fucking warm. And fuck Eddie missed this, Steve touching him. Hell, he missed anyone touching him, hadn't touched anyone since Steve.

"I hadn't." Steve breathes, his nose bumping Eddie's, his hands moving slowly up Eddie’s thighs.

"No? You been thinkin about me Steve?" Eddie whispers, feels Steve's shakey breath as he shivers.

"Yeah. Little bit." Steve sighs, his hands moving to Eddie's waist, thumbs pressing up under his shirt to touch his skin. Eddie shivers now, his hands still on the counter top, knuckles white with effort to not reach out and touch Steve.

"Yeah? Even when you're with Nancy?" Eddie breathes, his nose brushing into Steve's cheek. Steve sighs, drops his head to Eddie's shoulder, but he nods.

"Sometimes. Not anymore." His hands squeeze at Eddie's waist.

"Not anymore?" Eddie asks, not anymore what? He doesn't think about Eddie anymore? Way to ruin the mood Eddie was refusing to engage in. Jeez. Steve lifts his head, looks at Eddie, his eyes roaming over his face, landing on his lips more than once, lingering.

"I think we're over. It's all bullshit." Steve says, his voice cracking, his lip trembles on the last word and then he's kissing Eddie. His mouth is hot, and adamant, and Eddie wants. But not like this. He lets Steve's teeth nibble at his bottom lip and then pulls away, his hands on Steve's shoulders, holding him back as he tries to chase after Eddie mouth.

"This isn't a good idea." Eddie whispers, his head resting on Steve's when he groans.

"I miss you." Steve says, Eddie can hear the tightness in his voice. Steve's trying not to cry. Eddie nods, his hands moving to cradle Steve's neck, he frowns.

"And I miss you. But," he takes a breath, pushes Steve away so he can see his face, look into his eyes.

"I'm not a back up Nancy Wheeler. Or a rebound fuck. Or... anything else that this could be. I don't wanna do that anymore." He frowns, drops his hands onto his knees. Steve's eyes are shining but he nods, sniffles, and turns away. Takes a deep breathe before he chugs the bottle of water Eddie had given him. Eddie hops down off the counter.

"But what I can, and will gladly do, is get you some good weed to take the edge off of all'uh that." He waves his hand around in front of Steve's face, gets a smile from him and feels a little lighter.

He hands Steve a baggie, watches him reach for his wallet and then look up Eddie, questioning.

"Twenty bucks." He says with a shrug. Steve smiles a soft smile and hands Eddie a twenty. Eddie goes to grab it but Steve holds it tight.

"What discount did I get today?" He asks, smirking. Eddie smiles at him, dimples flaring.

"Oh today? Today's the 'i feel sorry for you cuz your face got mangled by a racist' discount." Eddie wiggles his eyebrows and yanks the twenty away from Steve.

"Hmm. You give that one a lot?"

"Honestly, more often than you'd think, yeah. Rough town." Eddie answers with a straight face. Both of them smiling after a beat. Steve shaking his head and stepping toward the door.

"Thanks for this. And the pills." Steve nods, opens the door. Eddie gives him a low bow.

"Anytime. Always open to those in need." He tilts his head, rests his hands on his back as he walks toward Steve, holds the door as Steve opens the screen door. He's nodding, slowly, maybe to himself, Eddie can't tell.

He lets the screendoor fall shut slowly, stops at the bottom of the stairs and looks up at Eddie.

"I am sorry. About the way I handled that. Me and you. Ya know?" He shoves his hands into his pockets, one eye squinting against the sun as he looks up at Eddie.

"I appreciate that Steven. I'll run your apology by the counsel. Take a vote." He replies, leaning his head against the door. Steve rolls his eyes, puts his sunglasses carefully back on his face.

"You're so weird dude." He says, squinting still, through the glasses, as he opens his car door.

"But it's like, kinda charming right?" Eddie calls, hand on his hip.

"I mean... I guess. If you're into that." Steve cringes, but he's smiling by the time his butt hits the seat. He gives Eddie a little two finger salute as he pulls away. Eddie grinning to himself as he walks back to his room. He catches sight of himself in the mirror, past his sweetheart, big dopey smile on his face.

He's so fucked.

~°~

They still don't talk. Steve doesn't come by for more weed. Well, they'd talked once, when Eddie and Wayne had stopped by the mall, just to check it out. Eddie wanted to see the new record store, and the sweet tooth he and Wayne shared had required ice cream.

Eddie's brain had nearly short circuited, seeing Steve in those fucking shorts.

But Steve had also gone that pretty red color Eddie loved so much. It clashed terribly with his outfit but Eddie was gonna be day dreaming about it for months.

He'd been working with one Miss Buckley,  Eddie had band class with her last year. They'd been banned from sitting together their third week in, but they still snuck in good quality time when there were subs, or they had movie days. They were insufferable, Eddie missed her.

But apart from that, he doesn't see Steve much. A few times around town, but Eddie avoids the mall like the plague, opting for the small shops, dnd meetings, and band practice instead. But Steve doesn't show his face again. And Eddie tries not to be annoyed. He's the one who pushed Steve away after all.

And then the mall burns down.

And Steve Harrington shows up at his door two days later covered in bruises, and stitches. Asking very quietly, if he can come inside.

"Uh... yeah. Shit, yeah." Eddie steps back hurriedly, the rain falling outside soaking Steve's hair and jacket. Eddie watches him run his fingers through his wet hair after he hangs his jacket by the door. Steve looks around.

"Wayne at work?" Is all he says. He's... different. His hair is longer, but it's not that. His shoulders look heavy. And behind the bruises he looks tired. The kind of bone deep tired you don't get from a mall fire. Eddie nods, and then nods again, toward his room.

He stands in the doorway, leaning against it, and watches as Steve gingerly lowers himself to sit on the edge of Eddie's bed. He doesn't say anything. Just very carefully takes off his shoes.

"What the hell happened to you?" Eddie asks, not able to not say anything any longer. Steve sighs, deep, and looks up at Eddie.

"Mall fire." Is all he says, flatly. He pushes himself backwards, situats himself in Eddie's bed like he belongs there. Eddie nods, crosses his arms, and walks fowards.

"Bull. Shit. It was a mall fire. Have you seen your face?" He leans forward for emphasis.

"Yep. I have. But thank you for reminding me." Steve's voice is still flat. But he's not giving anything up, and it... is so annoying. Eddie feels his blood starting to boil, is about to start ranting about how Steve had just left, again, and never come back. And yes that was technically Eddie's fault, a little, but they had definitely flirted when he was leaving! And now he's here, just showed up looking like he'd been put through a meat grinder, and is acting annoyed at Eddie, who had kindly let him in out of the rain!

But Steve looks up at him before he can get started, his eyes wide, and tired, his hand reaches out, lifting off the matress slowly, palm up.

"Listen, I know I have no right to ask this, but could you just... sit with me? For awhile?" His fingers wiggle as his bottom lip trembles and Eddie can't stop himself from reaching out to him, taking his hand and sitting on the edge of the bed, leg tucked up under him as Steve absent-mindedly plays with his fingers, spinning Eddie's ring around and around, the same way Eddie does when he's nervous, or fidgety.

"Are you okay Steve?" His voice is quiet. Steve shrugs, doesn't say anything.

"Is... is Robin okay? The kids? Everybody?" He asks, he'd seen them all on the news, being packed into ambulances, before they stopped showing that footage. And Eddie wasn't stupid. He knows there's something else going. Something else going on in this town. But he doesn't ask that, doesn't think Steve could talk about it, even if he wanted to.

He shrugs again, his fingers shaking against Eddie's. Eddie covers his hand with his, holds it tight.

"Tell me what I can do? What do you need?" He crawls closer, his knees pressed up against Steve's thighs, his wants to brush the hair out Steve's face, but the ends look like they're stuck in some of the dried blood on his face and he doesn't wanna hurt him. Steve just shakes his head. His eyes have a far away look.

"Do you wanna take a shower?" Eddie asks, his eyes still on that dried blood on Steve's head.

"I uh... I don't know. I don't-" Steve trails off, his eyes moving finally, slowly, to Eddie.

"I don't know." He says again. Eddie nods, squeezes his hand.

"Okay. We're gonna get you a shower. Get some of this blood off. And then you can sleep. You can sleep here with me. Long as you want." His lip trembles as he helps Steve off the bed, but he bites his lip. Holds the burning sensation in his throat until they're under the spray of warm water.

Steve is covered in bruises, his back, his chest, his legs even. His skin is a fucking collage of bruising. Eddie washes him gently, doesn't use a rag. Just his hands. He soaps up Steve's hair, gently.

"Sorry it's not fancy shampoo. It's gonna ruin your beautiful mane." Eddie jokes, sniffling as he moves his fingers gently over Steve's scalp.

"S'fine. Smells good. Like you. N' it feels nice." Steve's eyes are closed. Until he hears Eddie sniffle again. Steve squints at him, through the soap and water, and grabs Eddie's wrists, moves his hands from his hair and wraps his arms around Eddie's waist. Pulls him close and then moves them both under the warm spray of water. Letting the soap run out of his hair, and down his back as they cling to each other.

"It's okay Ed's. I'm fine." He mumbles it into Eddie's shoulder, his lips soft against the skin there. Eddie holds him gently, trying not to squeeze him too tightly and hurt him.

"No it isn't. Look at you. I- what happened Steve?" His voice is high, almost a whine as it leaves his throat. Steve's hands move over his back.

"Shh. I'm okay. That's all that matters." Eddie tries to argue, tries to fight Steve on this, tell him it's not okay. But Steve kisses him. Deeply. Holds him close and kisses all of Eddie he can reach.

"Eddie will you-" his voice cuts off, his hips pressing into Eddie as he presses Eddie into the wall of the shower.

"Steve. No. You need to rest. Your heads all-"

"Eddie please." Steve begs, pulls away to look at him, with big sad eyes.

"I need to feel something good. You make me feel good. Please." Steve moves his hands to Eddie's waist, his fingers digging into the skin there.

"That's not fair." Eddie groans, his hands moving up over Steve's shoulders, his fingers moving nimbly around bruises. Steve ducks forward, his lips brushing Eddie's, wet and warm when he whispers.

"I'm not trying to play fair." He smiles when Eddie rolls his eyes.

"Ugh. Fine. But if you die in this shower, you're paying for my therapy. And buying us a new trailer." Eddie concedes as Steve hums in agreement, latches himself onto Eddie's neck, his tongue on Eddie's throat making him shiver.

"A double wide. Nice and spacious." Steve kisses up his neck.

"Anything you want." He agrees against Eddie's mouth.

"Anything I want." Eddie sighs, his hands moving down Steve's back.

"Anything at all. Just touch me Ed's. Please. Miss your hands on me." He whispers between kisses, his hands in Eddie's hair now, holding him close. Eddie groans, moves his hips into Steve's and then moves his hands down, slides them between them.

"Anything you want Steve. Wanna make you feel good." Eddie pants, Steve's hips fucking into his hands perfectly. Steve moves one hand down, curls his fingers around Eddie's cock and just, holds him, the way Eddie likes.

"Always do. Make me feel so good." Steve breathes into his skin as Eddie drags him over the edge.

They lay in bed after, both only wearing boxers and a t-shirt, all of them belonging to Eddie. Fresh and clean. The dried blood is gone from Steve's head, leaving just the cuts and bruises. Eddie moves his hand through Steve's hair as he lays beside him, Steve looking up at him with big, warm, eyes. He seems more coherent now, more with it.

"Thank you. I needed that." Steve says, his head nuzzling into Eddie's fingers. Eddie smiles down at him.

"Needed what? The shower or the orgasm?" Eddie bites his lip when Steve smiles, all dopey and goofy.

"Yeaaah." He sighs dreamily. Eddie shoves gently at his face.

"Idiot." He rolls his eyes. But Steve catches his wrist and pulls Eddie close, down, so Eddie's chin is resting on his shoulder.

"Seriously. Thank you." He moves his hand up Eddie’s arm, up his neck, into his hair, cups the back of his head. Eddie just nods, feeling like he might cry again.

"Sure. I- I didn't know what else to do." He admits, his fingers tangling in his own shirt on Steve's chest.

"You did great. It was perfect." His eyes are drooping now, eyelashes fluttering as he tries to keep his eyes open. Eddie moves his hand, trails his fingers down over Steve's face, it makes him smile, his eyes falling shut.

"Go to sleep. I'll be here if you need me." Eddie whispers, curling closer to Steve.

"Always need you." Steve mumbles, and he's alseep now, talking nonsense, saying things he won't remember in the morning. But Eddie holds the words close, and holds Steve close, and does his best to try and sleep.

Sleep never comes. But Steve leaves. He wakes in the middle of the night, maybe 2 am. And Eddie lays there, pretends to be asleep. And listens to him shuffle around quietly. He thinks he hears paper rustle but he's not sure. He just lays there, and lets Steve leave, his heart aching in his chest.

He counts to three hundred after he hears Steve's car drive away and then turns his lamp on. Stands up and walks to his desk. The writing is messy, and lopsided, it's hard to write in the dark. But the note is nice. At least Steve tried.

'I am so sorry. I had to leave. I forgot my parents are coming back tomorrow. Today? I don't know. But if I'm not there, they'll lose their shit. If they notice... but I can't risk it.

Thank you.

Again.

I'll be back.

-Steve'

There's a crooked little smiley face at the bottom. The note makes Eddie's chest ache for a different reason. He goes back to bed, and finally drifts off to sleep.

~°~

They don't tell anyone. Both of them acting annoyed when Dustin mentions the other, biting their tongues and pretending they don't know each other. And it's... easier. Eddie guesses. Easier than telling a group of kids and risking losing them. Eddie's pretty sure none of them would care.

Steve comes to his trailer every Saturday. Wayne knows about them. He has weekends off now. So they all hang out and watch movies, Eddie and Steve curled up together under blankets. They almost always fall asleep before the movie ends. Wayne jokes about them being old men.

And then Chrissy dies.

And Eddie runs.

And they find him in the boat house, starving and scared. And he doesn't even register that it's Steve he has shoved against the wall until Dustin is yelling at him. Robin giving them both worried looks. Her eyes jumping back and forth between him and Steve until Steve gives her a stern look.

The kids don't catch on. Nancy does. Sees the way Steve's worried. His eyes darting to the walky anytime Eddie calls them. And the way he runs when Eddie tells them he's as Skull Rock. She sees it, and it... makes sense. She'd seen Steve watching him once, in the cafeteria, he'd been up on a table, yelling about something, and the other boys had looked annoyed, or disgusted, but not Steve. Nancy swore she saw him smile, before he noticed her looking and hid it, looked away. But it made sense.

And then Eddie almost dies. And Dustin, he watches Steve carry Eddie out, get him to safety. Watches him frantically try to hold Eddie's blood inside his body as it flows out over his hands, Steve screaming as Eddie's hand, clutching at his arm, goes limp.

Dustin watches him sit with Eddie, every day, with him and Wayne. Watches the way Wayne drops a blanket over his shoulders, ruffles his hair, and tells him to get some rest. He watches Steve beg Eddie to wake up, tears in his eyes as he clutches his hand to his face, whispering into his fingers. And he gets it.

"You love him." Dustin says one day, after watching Steve struggle to read to Eddie for half an hour. He takes the book from Steve, settles his hand over Steve's shaking one. Steve doesn't even try to deny it. Just nods, keeping his eyes on Eddie. Always on Eddie.

"I don't understand. I thought you didn't like him. That you barely knew him." Dustin says, his voice quiet, pondering, peicing things together in his brain as he speaks. Steve shakes his head.

"I lied. We both lied. We've- we've been together awhile. I- was scared to tell you guys. I didn't wanna lose you. Any of you." Steve shakes his head, frowning as he moves his thumb over the back of Eddie's hand, his eyes still not leaving him.

"You wouldn't have lost us Steve. We love you. Both of you." Dustin rests his hand on Steve's shoulder.

"Yeah." He scoffs, a bitter laugh leaving him as a tear falls down his cheek.

"That's what Eddie said. But I was too scared. So we kept it a secret. I kept him a secret. And now he's-" Steve sobs, and Dustin is on him in an instant, holding him close. Steve sobs into his chest so hard that neither of them hear the change in heart rate on Eddie's monitor. But they do hear,

"Did somebody die?" Eddie's groggy voice ask. Steve gasps, and turns back to Eddie, it looks like it's taking everything in him to keep his eyes open as he he blinks heavily at them.

"No. No we're all okay. Max got hurt, but she's healing. She's doing good." Steve says in a rush, grabbing Eddie's hand and holding it to his mouth, kissing his fingers as Dustin cries and holds his other hand. Eddie nods, frowns.

"Wayne?" He asks, Steve nods.

"He just left. He went to get us food. We've been here for ages man. He was tired of hospital food." Dustin says, scooting his chair closer. Eddie smiles, a little hum leaving him.

"Course he did. Hates... hospital food." Eddie sighs, deep in his chest, and is asleep again. Dustin looks across the bed at Steve, grinning.

"He's okay." Dustin breathes. Steve nods, Dustin nods back, more enthusiasm building as they smile at each other.

"He's okay." Steve laughs, and laughs and laughs. Both of them jumping up from their seats, hugging each other and laughing. They're still crying when Wayne gets back, smiles shining on their faces.

"What is it?" Wayne asks, setting the bags of food down, his hands shaking as his eyes roam over Eddie.

"He woke up. He's okay. Asked where you were." Steve says, choking a little on the lump in his throat. Wayne's lip trembles then, and he's bending over the foot of the bed, his hands holding Eddie's feet as he cries.

"I leave for ten damn minutes." He mutters, half laughing, half crying, and then Eddie's feet twitch in his hands and he looks up to see his nephews eyes on him. His face scrunched up.

"Tickles." Is all Eddie says, and then Wayne is hugging him, crying into his shoulder as Eddie cries into his, both of them clinging to each other.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Eddie sobs, clawing at his uncle's shoulder the best he can.

"It's okay. Your okay. That's all that matters." Waybe says back, soothing Eddie's hair gently, Steve and Dustin holding each other as they start crying again.

~°~

Eddie and Max are in the hospital for about a month, before they let them go.

Max is in a wheelchair, with the hope of walking again someday. She can see, a little, not great. But it's something. Her and Eddie have a running joke that maybe if he bites her she'll get echo-location, like a bat. Dustin doesn't find it funny.

Eddie's covered in scars but otherwise alright.

They've got a new trailer. A double wide. Two bedrooms. Eddie shows it off to Steve like he's a realtor. Everyone brings a mug from home as their house warming gifs for Wayne. He gets flustered and has to go outside for about ten minutes. Comes back in wiping at his face, grumbling about allergies.

After the kids are gone, and Wayne 'retires to his room'. He says that every night now, it makes Eddie laugh, every. single. time. Steve stays. Doesn't wanna go home. His parents had made it back home fine. But they just,

... didn't care about Steve. So he didn't care to be there. He wraps his arm around Eddie's shoulder, pulls him closer on the couch. Leans his head back and looks at him.

Eddie notices and shakes his head, frowning. Steve moves his fingers into Eddie hair, his eyes flutter, he leans into the touch.

"Don't." Eddie says, quiet. Steve sighs, brings his hand to Eddie's cheek, the one without the scar. Eddie won't meet his eyes.

"Hey." Steve says, Eddie refuses to look at him.

"Ed's come on. Look at me." Steve bites his lip, watches Eddie shake his head, the smallest amount of movement.

"I told you I don't-" he cuts off, rolls his eyes, swallows hard. He's trying not to cry. It happens a lot these days. Steve smiles, takes Eddie's hand, brings it to his lips, kisses his knuckles.

"You don't want me to look at you? Ever again?" Steve asks, kissing into Eddie's palm, up over his wrist, his lips leaving a trail of goosebumps along Eddie's skin. Eddie pouts, being dramatic now, and shrugs.

"Maybe. Maybe you'll just have to close your eyes." Eddie huffs. Steve can see him wanting to cross his arms, but he hasn't yanked his hand away from Steve's kisses yet.

"Oh yeah? What about when I take your shirt off? Gonna make me close my eyes then too?" Steve teases, scoots closer, kissing up Eddie’s shoulder now. Eddie freezes, turns to look at him.

"Why would you be taking my shirt off?" He sounds... genuinely confused. Steve stops kissing him, his brow furrowed, he glances toward Wayne's closed bedroom door.

"Umm... so I can see you naked. And have sex with you and stuff." Steve says, trying to keep it simple, because Eddie seems to be struggling with this concept currently.

"Sex. You're thinking about sex." Eddie says, his hands moving over his thighs nervously, wiping his palms. Steve shrugs, shakes his head.

"I mean, just then, all I was really thinking about was kissing. But... you uh... you don't seem to be on the same page as me right now. So that- that can wait." Steve says, keeping his voice calm. His hand moving to settle over Eddie's.

"Why would you wanna kiss me right now? I have ointment all over my face. It's- I'm-" he cuts himself off, eyes wide. Steve looks at him, widens his own eyes.

"You're what?" He asks, with a tone. He knows exactly what Eddie was gonna say. Eddie shakes his head, his eyes darting away from Steve again.

"You're gross? Is that what you were gonna say?" Steve knows he sounds mad, he can't help it. He's not mad at Eddie, he's just, mad at Eddie's brain. They've had this conversation so many times now. Eddie shrugs.

"I am. I'm all slimey. And this ointment smells so gross. It literally turns my stomach Steve. I don't feel sexy." Eddie huffs, dabbing at his cheek with his sleeve, then full on wiping, rubbing at the ointment smeered there, tears welling in his eyes.

"Hey hey hey." Steve calms him, uses his own sleeve to clean Eddie's face, the scar on his cheek is red, and angry. Steve sooths his fingertips over it gently. Eddie pulls away. Does cross his arms now.

"I'm covered in scars Steve. It's not-"

"I'm covered in scars too! I mean," he waves his hands at his body,

"They're everywhere. I'm covered. We match, remember?" His voice softens, there are still tears in Eddie's eyes as he shakes his head, rolls his eyes at Steve.

"It's not the same." He huffs, wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"How is it not the same? Ed's some of them are literally the same." He rests his hand on his side, one of the matching scars they have. But it doesn't help.

"Because! Even with the scars you're still beautiful! And I'm just-" he bites his lip, clamps it hard between his teeth as he looks at Steve, his eyes wide, and guilty, and full of tears. Steve tries to move closer, Eddie shakes his head. Steve mirrors him.

"I don't understand." Steve's voice is small, he genuinely doesn't understand, and he knows it's hurting Eddie, that he's frustrating him, he just doesn't know why. Eddie sighs, his teeth digging painfully into his lip.

"Because you're beautiful. And I'm not, Steve. I'm not. I mean I never was, but now I've got this." He moves his hand like he gonna slap his face and Steve grabs it, clutches Eddie hand to his chest.

"But you are." Steve says, slowly, that confusion still tinting his voice.

"Steve-" Eddie starts to shake his head, to pulls away. Steve pulls him closer, squeezes Eddie's hand.

"You are." He says again, adamant. But he can see the doubt in Eddie's eyes, sees that he wants to roll his eyes again, to deny it.

Steve surges forward, crashes his lips to Eddie's, cradles his face gently as he calms, sweetens the kiss, smiles into it when Eddie makes one of his little pleased noises. He moves then, kissing over Eddie's cheek, pressing his lips gently to the scar there, peppering gentle kisses all over it until he makes his way down to Eddie's neck. There are scars here too, and Steve takes his time, presses his lips to every inch of them until Eddie is shivering and whimpering in his arms. He kisses back up, finds Eddie's lips again and growls,

"Take your shirt off." Low in his throat, licking across Eddie's bottom lip, making him gasp as he pulls back, away from Steve.

"Wha-"

"Take. Your shirt off." Steve repeats, his voice stern. Eddie gulps, but reaches for his shirt. Steve helps him pull it over his head, tosses it across the room and immediately attaches his mouth to Eddie's chest, kissing over the scars here the same way he had the one's on his face and neck, light kisses, feather soft, so he doesn't hurt him, wouldn't dream of that.

His lips reach the unblemished skin of Eddie's stomach and he presses his tongue against him, Eddie arches up into him.

"Steve." He breathes, quiet, his hand grabbing at Steve's hair. Steve smiles into the soft skin of his stomach and then bites down, not hard, just hard enough to suprise Eddie.

"Jesus Christ!" Eddie gasps, yanking Steve up by his hair to glare at him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Eddie hisses, but his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are more black than brown, Steve smiles, crawls on top of Eddie, slides his hand over Eddie's unscathed cheek, presses his fingers into Eddie's skin hard,

"I love you. And you're beautiful. And I'm-"

"Insatiable." Eddie supplies, before he blinks owlishly.

"Wait you- you love me?" He whispers, forehead creasing in a frown. Steve bites his lip, looks a tad bashful. But he nods.

"Yeah. I really do. I've got it bad. I love you Eddie Munson." He breathes, his thumb moving over the corner of Eddie's mouth. Eddie doesn't say anything, just stares, blinking at Steve. He gulps, feels Eddie's heart pounding against his chest.

"Do you... do you not-"

"No I do! Of course I do. Fuck sorry. My brain just like, short circuited there, of course I love you. I love you so much it's, like, genuinely terrifying sometimes. I love you. I love you!" Eddie grabs Steve's face and kisses him, Steve laughing as his outburst, Eddie was almost yelling now.

"I love you too!" Steve said, matching Eddie's volume and almost yelling into his mouth. Eddie cackles, let Steve press kissing into his cheek again, holding him close, his hand in Steve's hair.

"I love the paid of ya, but if you don't shut up I'm tossing y'all out on your asses for the night!" Wayne's voice carried through the walls to the living room.

"Sorry Uncle Wayne! Love you too!" Eddie called back as Steve stiffled his laughter in Eddie neck.

"Would you shut up. You're gonna get us kicked out." Eddie hissed, but he was pressing kisses into Steve's hair. Once he composed himself he leaned back, untangling himself from Eddie and looking him in the eyes.

"I really do love you." He says, serious. Eddie nods.

"I love you too." He presses a soft kiss to Steve lips and then drags him up, and into Eddie's bedroom. They tangle back together under his covers, Eddie wrapped around Steve like an octopus, his arms wrapped around Steve's middle, holding him close, his face shoved into Steve's hair, just breathing him in.

They lay there, in silence, for a few moments, hell, it could have been hours, Steve could never get enough of it. And then he feels Eddie smile into his neck.

"What?" Steve asks, he can't not. Eddie snorts, nuzzles his nose into Steve neck.

"Told you you needed to get fucked." Eddie whispers, his fingers tickling at Steve's ribs. Steve barks a laugh and slaps his hand over his mouth, both of them cringing, waiting for Wayne to shout again.

Nothing happens.

"Ya know what?" Steve whispers back.

"And don't get used to this, because it's rare. But you were right." Steve teases.

"Hey! I am right at least 50 percent of the time around here." Eddie says, indignation in his voice, Steve opens his mouth to argue but,

"BOYS!"

"Sorry Wayne! We're sleeping now!" Steve calls back.

"Yeah sorry! We love you!" Eddie calls, Steve twists around and clamps his hand over Eddie's mouth, he makes a little "hey!" sound, muffled but readable. They can hear Wayne laughing through the wall. Steve smiles at him, brightly, moves his hand, kisses Eddie quickly, just a peck, and then twists back around, snuggling into Eddie's arms as he pulls him close.

Steve is nearly alseep when he feels Eddie's teeth sink into his shoulder, he just manages to catch the yelp that escapes him in the crook of his arm, then he groans, dropping his head back down on their pillow.

"You're so weird." He whispers, nudging his elbow back into Eddie. He just pulls him closer, smiles into his shoulder.

"Hmm. You like it." He hums. Steve sighs, sinks back into Eddie's warmth,

"Yeah. I do. Kinda charming." Steve teases, wiggling his hips back into Eddie. Eddie just meets him half way, pressing his hips into Steve's ass with a,

"Told ya so." As he snuggles closer.

"Yeah yeah." Steve grumbles, turns himself in Eddie's arms, buries his face in Eddie's chest, and breathes him in, as Eddie wraps his arm up over Steve's head, pulling him closer as they both drift away, Eddie's smile pressed into Steve's perfectly messy hair.

[seafoam-roe]

Nevermore

Fyrwyb tore off her helm and threw it with all her anger across the inn room. The metal clanged and crashed, knocking over a potted plant in the corner. She didn’t care. Her hair stuck to her cheeks with sweat. Her heartbeat was frantic.

“Gone again. Always gone!” She exclaimed under her breath, sinking to the floor. The closest wall supported her as her shoulders began to shake. Her armor made small noises to fill the silence while she cried.

“Ye always have t’run off without me. Without someone. Always runnin’ off alone!”

The roegadyn shifted her weight and sat back against the wall, her head leaning back so that she could look up at the ceiling. Tears mixed with the sweat on her face.

Knock knock.

Part of her wanted to keep quiet. To pretend she was just some other lass. She threw an annoyed glance at the door.

“Aye, who is it?” She grunted in response.

A soft spoken miqote answered.

“Fyrwyb..? I don’t mean to bother you, but you ran off with such haste. Could I at least check you over?”

Y’shtola. The smallest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

“Fine, come on in.”

When the miqote opened the door and peered in, Fyrwyb purposefully didnt look at her. Their friendship had grown strong and she knew if she looked into her eyes, she wouldnt be able to hold it together. Instead, she stood up and faced away from her friend, pulling off pieces of dragoon armor one by one. They made a decent ruckus when they each fell to the floor.

Y’shtola’s ears lay flat against her head at the sounds.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked suddenly, waiting for Fyrwyb to finish.

“There’s nothin’ to say I haven’t already said,” she huffed, trying to keep her voice from cracking. She bent at the waist to rid herself of the armor covering her shins.

“Perhaps. But it can help the anger, to say them aloud again.”

Fyrwyb snorted and her shaking fingers tore more armor away, this time from her upper legs. The plates clashed against each other on the floor. She was starting to shake.

Suddenly, long, slender fingers gripped her bare shoulders firmly. She jolted awake, sitting straight up in her bed. Her bleary eyes blinked a few times as they took in her surroundings; her bedroom. She was home, in her little cottage in Ishgard. Their home.

“My heart, whatever troubles thee? I am here.”

Urianger’s closest hand still held onto her shoulder, his touch gentle and reassuring. He sat up in bed next to her and used his other hand to move the sweat-sticky hairs from her face. When she finally looked back to him, her eyes were filled with tears.

“A nightmare, that’s all,” she whispered, her bottom lip trembling.

Urianger’s brows knit together as he pulled Fyrwyb into his chest, wrapping her up and holding her tightly. He smoothed her hair and kissed several tears from her cheeks.

“The same as before?” He asked, his voice low and calming. She nodded and her shoulders shook. The elezen let out a soft sigh and nuzzled his nose into her hair.

“I am here, my dearest. I shant be disappearing. My heart belongest here, next to thine.”

Fyrwyb clung to Urianger, slowing her breathing with the herbal scent of his nightshirt. Her arms squeezed around his waist, and she listened to his heartbeat, her ear pressed to his chest. All part of her process, her reassurance that he was real and present.

“Don’t leave me, Uri. Please. Stay with me,” she sniffled.

Urianger’s heart broke anew every time she awoke from that very same nightmare, time and time again. And like every other time, he made the same promise—one that he meant, every single time.

“Nevermore.”

[nolpat0]

i love you more | t. jost

summary: after a fight, tyson reminds her of how much he loves her

wc: 1,192

warnings: nothing. just fluff my man

She was perched on the edge of the bed, anxious fingers pulling helplessly at the cream-colored comforter. Her eyelashes were thick with dried tears and her cheeks were flushed, matching the post-crying hue the whites of her eyes had obtained over the last twenty minutes. She knew Tyson was in the living room, no doubt worrying just as much as her. She could imagine him perfect; his usual bright grin falling flat and his fingers tugging in his curls as he debated what to do. Tyson hated it when they fought, even more so when she was mad at him. But she was no longer mad, resigned to hoping neither of their words cut too deep. Eyes bouncing up to where Tyson’s knuckles knocked softly on the doorway, her breath caught in her burning throat, hopeful. Both of them had gotten nasty with their words, the stress of their weeks pouring into every venomous syllable.

“Are you still mad at me?” Tyson asks softly, brown eyes searching her own to find forgiveness or a sign that their fight wasn’t as bad as he believed it to be.

“No,” She shakes her head, swallowing a rising lump in her throat before continuing. “Tyson, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“We both get a little hot-headed sometimes, don’t we?”

Tyson gives a small smile, his lips curling at the edges, the expression easing her heart and coaxing a soft, breathy laugh from her lips. He still stands on the threshold of their bedroom, sock-clad feet unsure of their permitted entry and his fingers drumming against the pale molding. She takes a moment to admire him, the tight pull of his shirt over his chest and the messy curls atop his head, and the slanted grin across his lips.

“C’mere.” She mumbles gently, gesturing for Tyson to fall into her arms. The boy eagerly obliges, making the bed dip as he joins her, arms tugging her onto his lap as his forearms cage her in. His warmth seeps into her clothes and she subconsciously presses herself closer. She can smell his familiar scent, the smell making a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. Placing a hand on his chest as she giggles softly, she speaks again.

“But seriously, I want you to know I’m sorry.” She bites her lip, teeth worrying against the skin of her lips. “I apologize. It’s been a long week and I took out my frustrations on you.”

Tyson smiles brightly, the expression making her stomach erupt in brilliantly colored butterflies and cards his long fingers through her hair, brushing a kiss to her temple with all the tenderness he can muster. Her fingers snake around his neck and play with the unruly curls at the nape of his neck as Tyson dips his head to cover her cheeks and column of her throat in light kisses that have her laughing widely in his arms.

“Apology certainly accepted.” He murmurs, hot breath fanning against the exposed skin of her neck and the vibration of his words making her wiggle happily in his embrace. But he pulls back, eyes boring into hers with every ounce of seriousness in him. Silently making sure she understands his next words. “We’re okay. I promise. And we’re always going to be okay. You know why?” She blinks, lips popped open in soft surprise and she gives the smallest dip of her chin in acknowledgment. “Because I love you more than our fights or the bad days combined.”

Her heart shutters at the words, the confession warming her heart and blowing a sense of relief through her bones. She’s never had someone say something like that before and never felt more sure of someone’s love for her. Her eyes widened slightly, fingers stalling against his neck.

“Tys,” She breathes. “You know all the perfect things to say.” She drops her head to fit in the junction of his neck and shoulders, lips pressing against the warm skin of his neck. She leaves the kiss against his skin and pulls back to look into his eyes, matching his serious tone. “I love you endlessly, you know that?”

Tyson's grin is unmistakably joyous, instantly becoming one of her favorites. She returns the grin, unable to help the smile brightening her features. All she can think is of how in love she is with the curly-haired boy holding her tightly. All lingering feelings of their fight long since gone, leaving the two drowning wonderfully in their love for each other.

"I do now," Tyson replies wryly, making her roll her eyes in fake annoyance.

"Maybe I should be mad at you more often for you to say all those sweet things to me," She muses, brows kicking up and she laughs quietly, her words playful and holding no real threat.

Tyson makes a face, "Please don't. I hate when you're mad at me."

"Just teasing, baby," She assures, smoothing over his messy head of curls with a palm as she softly admires his features. She shifts in his arms until she straddles him, figuring slightly taller than his, forcing Tyson to tilt his head as he looks up at her. When she attaches her lips to his in a deep kiss- a kiss more passionate than any previous kisses- Tyson pulls back, eyes narrowed in suspicion. The boy- much to her dismay at times- is incredibly skillful when it comes to reading her, and reads her expression now.

"What are you trying to do here, baby?" He asks, a gasp falling past his lips as she presses her hips harder against his as her lips whisper over the sweet spot on his neck. His palms press harder against her hips and his long, skillful digits digging into the fabric of her shirt that she stole from his wardrobe months ago.

“Teasing,” She replies quickly, mischief lacing the word. As she promised, her lips leave his neck and her body slides off his as she stands in front of him, grinning at Tyson’s groan of disapproval. “I gotta go make dinner, pretty boy.” She winks, making a poor job of hiding the shit-eating grin atop her lips.

Tyson shakes his head gently, curls bouncing as he picks himself off the covers and follows closely behind her, eyes tracking every intentional swish of her hips. Tyson watches her as she moves around the kitchen, preparing for what looks like a good dinner. But as she turns the knob on the stove, a spark sounding and a fire burning brightly to life under the pot, Tyson stops her from moving any further by wrapping his strong arms around her torso.

“That was evil,” He mutters, chin resting comfortably on her shoulder as she wiggles her arms out of his embrace to carefully continue dinner. She only hums in response, and Tyson can sense the smirk gracing her lips. He scowls despite the fact she can’t see his expression and leans forward to hover his lips over her ear. Satisfaction sparks in his stomach as he feels her shudder pleasantly in his grip.

“I’ll make you pay for it later, don’t worry.”

[indiee19]

Tonight There’ll Be Some Love

Alex Turner x reader

Summary: You and Alex are 16 and lose your virginity to each other.

warnings: smut, fingering

word count: 2817

A/N: Oh my god, I wrote this in two hours, I’m so proud of myself. Also , I realized how many times I said, “you nodded,” when I was proofreading, so don’t mind that

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑ ✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You watched the clock in your bedroom impatiently, excitedly waiting for Alex to get there. Your parents had left to go on a trip for their anniversary for the weekend, so you invited Alex over. You had been waiting for them to go on a trip again, since the last trip they went on was only for a couple of hours a few months ago.

You and Alex had only been dating for about three months when your parents' last trip was, you and Alex were kissing when they came home and immediately had to pull away in fear that they'd find you two like that and not allow you two  to be alone together again.

You heard a car pull up in the driveway, Alex was finally here. You got up from your bed, hurrying down the stairs and opening the door, watching Alex's face light up once he saw you. 

"Hey," you said, pulling Alex in for a hug. He looked adorable, his brown hair slightly messed up, more than likely where he had been running his hand through it, his nerves getting the best of him before leaving his house to come here like they always did. He had on a pair of black pants, and a white and black striped collared shirt and a jacket.

"Hey, love. C-can I come in?" he said, pulling away from the hug. You nodded and stepped to the side, allowing him to come in, closing and locking the door. He took off his jacket, laying it on the couch.

"You hungry?" you asked, going to the kitchen. He shook his head, following you. You started making tea, putting water in the kettle, and placing the kettle on the stovetop. Alex wrapped his arms around you as you made the tea, hugging you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder. Your mind started going through a thought you'd had earlier when you called Alex to ask if he wanted to come over, though you quickly pushed it away, for the moment at least.

You turned around and kissed him. It took Alex a moment to process this, though it wasn't the first time that you two kissed, it was the first time that you'd been fully confident kissing him, the first time that you made the first move.

Alex pulled away, holding you by the waist. "Love, the kettle," Alex pointed out. You quickly turned around, turning off the stove though you knew that the kettle hadn't been on the stove long enough. 

You turned back around and starred onto his chocolate brown eyes. 

"Do you want to go to my room and ... watch ... watch a movie?" you asked, running your hands up and down his arms. He nodded and let go of your waist, following you upstairs  to your bedroom. Alex sat on your bed, getting comfy. He watched as you went to the cabinet that your TV was on, looking through all of the movies you had.

You scanned over the movie titles, your eyes coming back to The Notebook over and over again. You picked it up off the shelf, turning around to show Alex. 

"What about The Notebook?" you questioned, holding it up so he could see it. He nodded, not caring what movie you were watching. You smiled and took the DVD out of the case and put it in the DVD player that was connected to your TV.

You pressed play on the remote and walked back to your bed, turning off the lamp so that you could see the movie better and cuddled up to Alex's side, his arms wrapping around you, laying your head on his shoulder, your arms also wrapping around his slim body.

-

You and Alex hadn't made it but thirty minutes into the movie before you and Alex started to kiss, Alex's tongue slipping past your lips, exploring your mouth, his hands on your waist, yours around his neck. 

You fumbled for the remote beside you, pausing the movie, somehow managing to turn the lamp back on.

Alex pulled you into his lap, his lips never once leaving yours. His hands started to wonder up your body, stopping at your breasts. You gasped and pulled away, getting off of his lap and the bed. He opened his eyes and looked at you, getting up from the bed as well. 

"Love, I-I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to-" you cut him off, kissing him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pulled away and started kissing down his jaw then to his neck, settling on a spot a sucking on it, starting a hickey. Alex groaned, tilting his head to the side to allow you to have more access to his neck.

Once you were positive that a bruise had formed, you moved away from him, sitting down on your bed. He crawled over your legs, straddling you, pushing you down to be flat on your back, attaching his lips to your neck, your eyes shutting. He settled on a spot just below your ear, your hands going straight into his fluffy brown hair, tugging on it, a raspy moan falling from his lips.

"God, Alex. Fuck me," you breathed out. Alex lifted his head, looking at you with his insanely adorable eyes. You opened your eyes, starring into his fixating gaze.

"W-what did you say, love?" he asked. He didn't mean for it to sound rude, and you knew that, it just caught you of guard that he asked since you didn't mean for him to hear it, and it had also caught him off guard since you were both virgins.

"I said ... I said that I wanted you to fuck me," you said, lowering your voice when you said the last part, your face flushing with embarrassment. Alex got off from on top of you, sitting on the bed beside you, you sitting up.

"I'm sorry, Al. I know that you've never done that before a-and neither have I. And as much as I want to do it with you, I know I shouldn't have said that and I wasn't thinking," you apologized. You expected him to leave and expected that he wouldn't want to talk to you for a while, but instead, he kissed you. It was short and sweet, not like the one that you'd had only a couple of minutes ago.

"It's okay, love," he said, looking at your shirt you had one, slightly pulling on it. "Can I take this off of you?" 

You nodded and lifted your arms up so that he could pull the shirt over your head, throwing it to the floor. He starred at your chest for a moment before you reached behind your back to unclasp your bra, the straps falling down your shoulders, throwing it to the floor.

Alex moved one of his hands to massage your breasts in it, then taking off his shirt and throwing it down with your shirt and bra. You shimmied out of your shorts, helping Alex unbutton and take off his pants, adding them to the growing pile of clothes in your bedroom floor.

You laid back on your bed, Alex crawling back over you. His hand brushing back a strand of hair that fell into your face, his hand trailing down to above the waistband of your panties, the ache between your legs forming and growing at a very fast rate.

"Can i?" he asked, not wanting to do anything to upset or hurt you, a little scared himself. You nodded, eyes shutting when his fingers made contact with your clit, a small whimper escaping your lips. He caught on to your reaction and started rubbing small, slow circles on your clit, enjoying the whimpers that came out of your mouth. 

"Does that feel good, love?" he teased, suddenly gaining an immense amount of confidence that only turned you on even more, Alex laughing slightly. He moved his fingers from your clit, teasing your folds now, spreading the wetness around.

"God, you're so wet, love. All for me?" he drawled, fingers finding your entrance, spreading around your wetness there as well. You nodded and began to roll your hips onto his hand, desperate to get some friction, even if it was smallest amount of it.

He pushed one finger inside of your cunt, curling it inside you, stroking your walls. 

"A-add another," you breathed out.

"Are you sure, love?" he responded. You nodded and Alex watched your face, watching your reaction when he added a second finger, watching the immense amount of pleasure that he was giving you.

He started pumping his fingers in and out of you, setting a pace, his thumb grazing your clit, rubbing gentle circles on it in rhythm with his fingers. You felt a knot form in your stomach, knowing that it wouldn't take much for you to come undone.

Alex curled his fingers deep insdie of you, a loud moan falling from your lips. "Do that again, Al," you said. He smirked and repeated the motion, watching the pleasure that your facial expression  showed. You started to roll your hips onto his hand, craving more friction.

"Have you done this before, you know ... like ... on your own?" Alex asked, his head falling down on your neck, placing soft kisses to it.

"Y-yeah,"" you replied, your voice trailing off into a moan as he had curled his fingers inside you again.

"What do you think about, love?" he said, kissing up your jaw, then back down to your collarbone. "I-I think about you," you admitted, hands pulling on his hair, twisting it between your fingers.

"Naughty, naughty. Can I tell you something?" he said, moving his kisses down to your breasts, his fingers pumping in and out of you faster, rubbing on your clit harsher. "Sometimes I fantasize about you too."

He pulled away from your breasts, his free arm holding him up, starring deeply into your eyes. You looked him up and down, noticing that he was hard through his boxers, moving your hand to palm him through his underwear, reaching inside them, lightly stroking his cock. Alex groaned in response, suddenly curling his fingers deep inside of you, flicking your clit, tipping you over the edge. He watched as your eyes rolled back into your head, watching you as the waves of pleasure washed over your entire body, the feeling was euphoric. He kept moving his fingers in and out of you, helping you ride out your orgasm.

You came down from your high, whimpering at the empty feeling that was left when Alex pulled his fingers out of you, you took your hand out of his boxers to stop stroking him, using it to cup the back of his neck and kiss him.

You started to pull down his boxers, Alex stopping you. 

"Are you sure you want to do this, love?" he asked, even though he wanted to go through with it, he still wanted to make sure that you were also on board. You nodded, and he pulled down your panties just far enough so that you could kick them off into the floor, you doing the same for him. You looked down at his cock, worrying if it would hurt or if he would even be able to fit in you.

"Wait, do you have ... a ... a condom?" he asked, not wanting to worry about if you were on the pill or not.

"Yeah, bedside drawer. A friend gave it to me," you said. He laughed and reached over to the drawer, fishing the condom out of it, pulling the silver packet out of it and closed the drawer. He ripped the packet open, rolling the condom down on his long, thick cock, tugging himself a few times before finding and lining himself up with your entrance.

You felt his tip at your entrance and your hand gripped onto his shoulder, waiting for him to push inside you.

"Ready?" he questioned. You nodded and he slowly started to push into you.

You tried to relax, knowing that it the feeling would get better, but the feeling of his cock stretching your walls brought a few tears to your eyes, which Alex immediately noticed.

"I'm so sorry, love," he said, pulling out of you, wiping the tears that had formed in your eyes.

"Wait, no, Alex. It's alright, I'll be okay," you said. You knew that the stinging feeling would go away eventually, or that's what your friend told you at least and you wanted this, like really, really wanted this.

"You sure, because I don't want to 'urt you," he replied. You nodded and he sighed, lining himself with your entrance again, pushing in slowly, stopping in between his small pushes to make sure that you were okay.

Once he was hilt deep inside you, his head fell on your shoulder, placing kisses on it. 

"You feel s-so good, love," he groaned. He was waiting for you to tell him what to do, not wanting to do anything that you weren't ready for or do anything that you didn't want him to do. His hands were either side of your head, holding him up above you. He reveled in the feeling of your walls stretching to accomendate to his size.

"Alex, can you move?" you asked. He nodded and slowly pulled almost all the way out of you before pushing back in, setting a pace, the stinging feeling slowly going away after a couple of thrusts.

You loosened your grip on Alex's shoulder, moving your hands to his biceps, eyes shutting automatically. Alex's pace gradually got faster, one of his hands coming down between your bodies to rub on your clit in sync with his thrusts.

Your moans filled your room, as did Alex's moans and grunts. You felt as if you were in another world, the feeling, as I had said earlier, euphoric. Alex delivered a particularly hard thrust which compelled him to kiss you passionately.

"God, Alex, faster," you moaned. He smirked, following your request, picking up his pace, rubbing your clit more vigorously. You knew that you were close, the knot forming in your stomach again and growing rapidly.

"A-Alex, I'm close," you whimpered, hands moving from his biceps to his hair, pulling on it.

"I know, love, m-me too," he groaned, determined to get you there before him, needing to feel you come around his cock in order to get there himself.

Three more thrusts and Alex pressing down harshly on your clit was all it took for you to be sent spiraling.

Your eyes rolled back into your head, the waves of pleasure washing over you, you felt as if you were on cloud nine. Your own release triggering Alex's, the feeling of your walls contracting around his cock enough for him to get there. He stilled his thrusts, releasing into the condom. He collapsed on top of you, the both of you panting heavily, your breathing uneven.

Alex pulled out of you, getting up off of the bed, walking to the door. "I'll be right back, love," he said, walking down the hall to the bathroom. You laid in the same spot, trying to get your breathing under control, trying to wrap your mind around what had just happened, you'd just had sex with Alex, still not believing it.

Alex came back, grabbing his underwear off your bedroom floor, putting them back on, handing you his shirt and your panties, helping you put them on, climbing back into the bed with you.

"Wow ... that just happened," Alex stated, wrapping his arm around you, pressing a few light kisses to your neck.

"Heh, yeah, it did," you said, still trying to fully grasp the reality of it. "So, how about we finish the movie and then go get food?" you asked.

"Yeah, sounds good. Don't know if I'll make through the movie though. Fucking you wore me out," he chuckled, you laughed, kissing the top of his head as he'd nuzzled into your neck.

"Dont fall asleep during the movie, you can do that after it's over and after we go get food," you said, reaching over him for the remote, turning The Notebook back on.

"We don’t have to go get food, there's something in here that I'd like to eat and I'm sure that I could find you something to suck on," he said, though you couldn’t see him, you knew that he had that stupidly hot, cocky smirk plastered on his face. What he had said made you laugh again. "You really are something else, Al," you laughed. 

"Yeah, but that's why you love me."

"You're right, Al, I do love you," you said, kissing his lips, then turning back to watch the movie, Alex doing the same.

[isbergillustration]

This is a Ghost Story: Part II

After that first séance, things get easier. The ghost eases up on the spookiness, and now instead of threats in the steamed up mirror, it says things like YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE, and the concern is touching. It is still a bit ominous, but that has got to be part of the job, being a ghost. Part of the style. They still haven’t told me their name, or when they died, or if they want anything other than late night TV, and also maybe some nice scented candles.

I see those words, that ominous warning in the mirror, and check my mobile to see that the ghost is in fact correct. Shit.

“Hey,” I yell through the door while hurriedly towelling my hair off, “we need to have a talk about privacy! About you maybe not being in the bathroom while I shower!”

Hopefully, if my neighbours hear, they will assume I’ve just gotten a lover of some sort. Hah. If only. But I don’t think anyone cares. The building is dense, but the plumbing is actually an antique, and sound travels through the pipes in unsettling ways.

This building is actually pretty nice. The facade is nice and ornate, and the sides and back are mostly brick covered in some sort of crumbling layer and poorly overpainted graffiti. It used to be two massive flats on each floor, for rich people, on either side of a long corridor, but at some point someone decided it would be more economical to split them into three units each. Mine is the smallest size, and if the old blueprints I found at the library were right, my bedroom used to be a tiny maid’s room. But there are nice things about it. The flat has very high ceilings, with one of those fancy relief things where there might once have been a ceiling lamp. The windows are massive, too. Which makes the place nice and light, but it also means it gets cold as fuck in the winter.

The building faces a big park, filled with tall trees as the ground rises into a hill. If you’re on the right side, you look out at a playground, where people do drugs at night. I’m on the other side, though, so my view is of the car park behind an all night supermarket. Which could be worse, I could be looking right into the window of a neighbouring window, but I can’t help but envy the old lady across the hall from me who gets the park view.

I work in a café, because that’s what you get, doing a degree in fine art. It’s across the city, a long commute, but I’ve been there for a year now, and I like it. My co-workers are nice, everyone respects my pronouns and the owner lets us ban people if they’re being homophobic. It does mean having to get up at five in the morning four days a week, though, which is not something I enjoy. Especially not when there are mysterious howls from the basement. There’s only one flat down there, and whoever lives there is into some weird shit. Or maybe they just watch horror movies with some seriously impressive speakers.

Today, though, I’ve switched with a co-worker, the one with a thirty centimetre tall mohawk, so I’m on afternoon till evening. The sun is low by the time I start, and the first few hours are slow. A few hours in, though, after it has gotten dark, a familiar face walks in. One of my neighbours. He’s got bright red hair, ridiculously pale skin and wears exclusively clashing neon colours, so he’s quite recognisable. I don’t know exactly which flat he lives in, but it’s below mine somewhere, I think. I see him around occasionally, and it’s enough that I see him recognise me too as I take his order. Some ridiculously suryp laden and intensely caffeinated monstrosity. Maybe he works nights. Would explain the pallor. He goes to talk to a woman I think I might have seen around our building too, but she looks more normal so it’s more difficult to say. They’re not there together, though, because he sits at a different table.

I get busy with orders for a while, and by the time I look over, there is a woman at the table with him. She looks quite intense, and has a notebook and pen, so maybe it’s some sort of job interview? The woman who might live in my building keeps very obviously watching them, while badly pretending not to do so. I can see her type nonsense into her laptop while looking at the conversation out of the corner of her eye. Well. That’s none of my business.

When I get home, the words TV DOESNT WORK arewritten on my living room wall in dripping bloody letters. Great. I really need to get some of those letter magnets for the fridge or something. The blood is a pain to get out of the wallpaper, which is vintage, so I’m not allowed to switch it out or anything. I roll my eyes, and turn the thing off and on again, and the screen lights up. Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room fells lighter, less oppressive. Huh. Neat.

“Boring day?” I ask.

The kitchen cupboard doors slam in some approximation of Morse code. I take that to mean yes. I start a list on my phone. Fridge letter magnets. Spirit Box (too expensive). Sheet with holes in (for joke) (offensive?).

[jellyfishloveletterghosts]

Roommates with Pron star Billy please

Roommates with Porn Star Billy

Thanks for the ask hun 💜📹 This is another one that is mostly just an excuse for porn.

Steve and Billy have been roommates for a few years now, both of them hopelessly pining after one another and assuming the other is straight. I mean Billy works in straight porn and with the women he occasionally brings home. What is he supposed to think? Steve has a crush on Billy the size of Texas and it doesn't help that he is helplessly single for a while now.

Something Billy definitely notices, which is part of why he gifts Steve a premium subscription to the porn site he works for. The other part is it makes Billy hot thinking about Steve watching his videos, maybe even getting off to Billy instead of his partner. He’s definitely going to wank thinking about Steve wanking to him.

Except he can’t figure out if Steve has used it or watched any after a month. Doesn’t hear any moaning coming from his room, and it wrinkles. Except one day Billy comes home early, the shoot that day getting canceled, some sort of electrical problem leading to a lot of sparking equipment and busted lights. When he comes in he hears moaning, loud and familiar all Steve. He quietly creeps closer to Steve’s door, listening for anyone else, he has to press his ear flat to hear the low moaning of a porno and second later his own familiar voice telling his partner how good they were being for him.

It’s the “Oh, fuck Billy.” drawn out on a moan that has Billy pushing Steve door open to find Steve bouncing on a dildo as he watches a video of Billy fucking his costar for a vide from a month or so ago. It takes a bit before Steve notices Billy standing in the doorway, cursing as he startles, moaning as the shifting drags the dildo over his prostate. “Don’t stop on my account, pretty boy, keep going.” Billy says tone firm, like a command as he licks over his lips and palms his leaking cock through his loose sweats.

So because this is just porn there isn’t as much to say without all the potatoes and it’s Wednesday so how about a peak at the first part of this fic?

Warning for non sexual Spanking

Billy grins as Steve blinks down at the gift certificate, tongue out teeth gleaming, it is only kind of a gag gift. Billy got him a premium year long membership to Hearton, the porn site he has been working for the last couple of months. Steve is straight and in a bit of a slump so Billy figures he will appreciate some premium porn and if Billy gets off to the idea that maybe Steve will watch his videos and think about Billy instead of the girl he is fucking well that is between Billy and his dick.

“You got me a porn subscription?” Steve asks cheeks pink as he looks up at Billy through his lashes, head cocked and the smallest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“You’ve been in a rut and since it’s just you and your hand I figured you could use something nice to look at.” Billy says with a casual shrug like he is not struggling not to point out that he is the nice thing he wants Steve to be looking at.

“It’s not been that long.” Steve tries to deny, going redder as Billy snorts.

“You haven’t gotten lucky since before I started working at Hearton, you’re in a slump, just say thank you pretty boy.” Billy says moving close and tousling Steve’s hair just to watch his face go all pinched up.

“What are you keeping track?” Steve asks, slapping Billy’s hand away and trying to fix his hair, without a mirror it is a lost cause.

“Nah,” Yes he absolutely is. “You have a lot of tells and you make a lot of fucking noise.” Billy maybe on occasion would press his ear against their shared bedroom wall, hand on his cock and he kind of misses the sounds of Steve getting off. Steve has not even been using his hand lately as far as Billy can tell, which is a shame because he is just as vocal by himself.

“No I don’t” Steve denies, face so hot Billy is sure he has no blood left anywhere else and Billy just tips his head back and laughs before shoving Steve over on the couch and climbing to sit on his ribs, while Steve struggles.

“This is the part where you say thank you Billy, what a thoughtful gift.” Billy insists pushing Steve’s face against the pillows when he just keeps insisting Billy get off of him, he will in due time. "It's also time for your birthday spankings." Billy says gleefully, eyes on Steve’s wriggling ass.

Steve’s struggles intensify but he is no match for Billy in this position and he goes stock still with the first slap of Billy’s hand against his ass. A shocked noise falls from his mouth muffled by the pillows but Billy still hears it grinning as Steve’s cheeks go pink again. "That's one only twenty three more to go, pretty boy." Billy's dick is twitching, filling out as he brings his hand down again and again, shorts tenting as Steve just makes pretty muffled noises, the fight draining out of him.

By the time he is done Billy is leaking in his shorts and trying to figure out how he is going to hide this. "You're done get the fuck off me asshole." Steve says, voice wet and wobbly and there is a pit in Billy’s stomach, fuck had he gone too far? Did he really hurt him, he was just playing, birthday spankings that is a normal thing people do, right?

When Steve struggles again Billy moves off of him quickly, boner dying when Steve will not look at him, keeping his back turned to him as he shuffles down the hall. Billy feels bad like honestly bad he thought Steve had enjoyed it at least a little but maybe he was just hearing what he wanted to hear. Billy goes to his room and changes his shorts into something a little thicker, a little less showy, pressing his ear against the wall and trying to listen in on Steve.

There are muffled noises that could be crying, Billy is not actually sure, Steve does not cry often and when he does they are usually both drunk. He frowns berating himself for pushing Steve and doing something he clearly did not like. He heads to the kitchen and digs out the carefully hidden light pink desert box, he hid it behind the kale knowing Steve would not touch it, he claims he is allergic to it but Billy knows that is a lie he started telling so his ex-girlfriend would stop trying to feed it to him. Steve has stolen sips of enough of Billy’s morning smoothies for him to know better.

Billy unboxes the cake, a decadent chocolate thing Billy had to special order because he knows what Steve likes. Billy digs candles out of their junk drawer, a feat that takes more effort than he was expecting. They really have to clean out all the sauce packets. Billy puts a white and purple checkered candle on top and lights it before carefully balancing the thing as he walks down the hall to Steve's room.

Billy waits a breath ear against the door and all is quiet before he knocks on the door. There is the noise of Steve moving around shifting on his bed before Steve finally calls "What do you want Billy?"

"Let me in, I got something else for you." Billy says trying the door and it turns slow but he remembers they still have not fixed the lock after it got damaged in a water gun fight that got a little heated, it does not stop him.

"Unless it's an apology I don't want it." Steve hisses as the door opens and Billy gets a glimpse at his flushed face before he is hiding under his blanket.

Billy is not discouraged, he just walks in and sits down on the edge of the bed, balancing the cake on his knees before lighting the candle. "Stop being a baby, this is better than an apology, you'll like it." Billy says, he is not one for actually apologizing with words, something Steve knows they have been friends for years now.

"It better fucking be amazing, you’re such a dick." Steve huffs as he drags the blanket from his face. His face is flushed but it does not look like he has been crying too much, a little red rimmed but not full on sobbing irritated. Steve’s frown twitches toward a smile, eyes widening from their narrowed state when he spies what Billy is holding.

"Hey I got you a porn subscription and a black velvet cake that I had to special order, I think you can put up with a little birthday spankings in return." Billy insists, holding the cake away when Steve tries to reach for it. "Make a wish, pretty boy." Steve rolls his eyes but he closes them and takes a deep breath holding it for a long second as Billy admires the way his eyelashes fall over his cheeks before finally blowing a breath out.

Billy plucks the candle out, licking the end and ignoring the wax that gets in his mouth in favor of grinning as Steve pouts and tries to reach for the cake again. "I believe a thank you Billy you’re the greatest should be coming out of your mouth right about now." Billy insists because he really does enjoy pushing Steve's buttons.

"Thank you Billy, you're a dick, give me some cake." Steve goes a little whiny and begging at the end and it might not be what Billy was trying to get out of him but it is good enough.

"Come on out and I'll cut you a big slice, got some wine Carol suggested to go with it and a movie." Billy says and when he says it like that it sounds like a date and wouldn't it be nice if it were. If this was not just Billy wanting to make Steve’s birthday nice because they are friends and he has a crush on him but because they are actually more. Billy has it bad but the smile Steve gives him turns his belly to a liquid puddle and he really needs to get over this crush.

“Okay maybe you're okay, but you're still a dick, I’m pretty sure you bruised my ass.” Steve complains finally getting up from under the covers and Billy notices he changed out of his day clothes into soft sweats and a threadbare t-shirt. It is a good look. The only thing better is when Steve has stolen one of Billy’s hoodies and wears it with tiny shorts that cannot be seen. Billy blinks as Steve starts snapping his fingers in front of Billy’s face “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine come on.” Billy says scrubbing a hand through Steve’s hair to intentionally annoy.

Billy heads for the door, cake in hand grinning at Steve’s annoyed little hiss of “Dick.” He is definitely going to make him say please before he gives him his cake.

Ask Me

[lipstickbisous]

𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

a/n: this is for @celestialbarnes' 4k writing challenge!! the prompt is "you said you loved me." "i lied." it's funny bc with the character and prompts i actually found this super challenging, but i loved writing it!!

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, former!stucky

summary: when the nightmares come, and the memories return, at least he has you there. and when he doesn't, his ghost appears.

warnings: angst central, mentions of financial struggles, implied suicidal thoughts, reader is a dick, mentions of stucky, sad!bucky, smut; sir!kink, bucky speaking russian, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), choking, creampie, slight cockwarming 18+ MINORS DNI

word count: 3.2k

the following work is my own writing. do not plagairise or copy and paste my works onto another platform. message me about credit.

masterlist

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

his iron hand is covered in a felt glove that hits the hem of his jacket sleeve, entirely concealing the vibranium from prying eyes. metallic fingers lift a gathering of plastic bags filled with groceries almost tearing through the bottom like he's lifting air. the weight on his left arm hangs with a force of gravity as he struggles to push in the key to his front door. the ceiling lights of his apartment hallway would've been considered tasteful in 1945, but now he could see the shadow of cobwebs and dust collecting on the tops. it created a filter over the lighting that made the hallway look haunted and abandoned.

when bucky had been pardoned by the government, he didn't see it as a sign of hope. he knew that without steve, there was no one to assure that he'd be given a safe home, he'd be protected. and without steve, life had been duller and gray. there had been a blossoming love for the blue-eyed man that sat inside of his chest, and then, it had started to plant itself deep in the burrows of his heart. seaweed-colored vines found themselves tracing the outline of his skeleton, and each leaf that bloomed was another aching memory of him. moments in brooklyn that had taken place decades ago were still fresh and he dreamed of them every night. how was bucky to cut them out by himself?

when he looked up, he saw the tufts of blonde hair underneath the hallway lights. his lips were parted in shock as his heart shattered again. "i'm sorry," he had whispered, shoving his hands together nervously, picking at his nails and the sleeve of his navy blue jacket. bucky's mind was racing, heart was soaring as he approached him, and he wanted nothing more than to run into his arms.

"need help?" a voice echoed through the hallway, and suddenly, the walls didn't seem so haunted anymore. he was gone, but that was for the better because here you were and bucky didn't need anything else. you were light and when his eyes looked up at you, he could've sworn an intake of oxygen forced itself into his 100-year old lungs.

it was an easy answer. bucky didn't need to do it by himself, because just in the moment of his thundering darkness, of the smallest thoughts at would it be like to end it right there, you took a pair of shears and slashed away all the vines. the leaves scattering the insides of his body fell, and the suffocating grip the roots of that toxic love had on his heart were released. bucky could breathe again and steve was forgotten. because here you were.

and god, was he thankful. he only lightly chuckled while a deep red hue took over the skin of his cheeks. you approached him delicately, licking your tongue over your lips for repeated moisture and reached out to take the key from his quivering hand. he stepped to the side with a small smile and allowed you to unlock his door. he'd allowed you so many things, opening so many places he didn't know existed...not even steve could do that. "what'd you buy today?" you asked, grabbing several of the bags he had and set them on his kitchen counter.

he followed your actions and shrugged, "not much," and flipped the switch of his kitchen lights. they were a blaring white-light that made his head hurt if he looked at them for too long. damn it, he thought to himself. new light bulbs were the one thing he'd forgotten while at the store. "just enough to get through the week." he would've offered to cook you dinner, but with the assumption that with this late hour you would've already eaten, he shrugged it off. "what're you here for?"

it was an abrupt question but he didn't mean it with harmful intentions. with a sigh, you crossed your arms and looked to the tile floors. the way he looked at you were if he was a small bird, his wings broken and feathers plucked and you were the only one who could heal him. "i didn't know if you were busy," but the healing was over. he could finally soar again without a limp and you were no longer needed--it hurt to think about for too long. "i didn't want you to be alone."

he could feel his heart swelling to a size ten times larger than what it had been before, locked away in its ivory cage. the only one who had held the key had been him, but you tore it from his hands because he did not deserve it. you did. "i don't want to be a bother to you," he smiled poorly and ineffectively. there was still that small part of james buchanan barnes that doubted everything everyone told him, and you were hoping all the moments in the world spent together could fix that.

"jesus," you mutter with a light breath, one that's small but enough to replenish bucky with life. "you're never a bother to me. i love you." those words would be the death of him. he longed to hear them as he fell from the train, whispered into his ear every time his memory was reset because bucky had never gotten a chance to do something for himself. but this--this relationship, this beautiful thing he had with you--he finally had control. you begin to unpack the groceries he'd gotten, seeing that a carton of black cherry ice-cream was already beginning to melt, but before you get the chance to throw it in his freezer, bucky's ionic arm pulls you by the waist.

the other one grabs your cheek and attaches his lips to yours with an aggressive but desperate kiss that ached with need. he was soft and warm, darting his tongue between the opening to your mouth and letting it meet yours. with the sudden though appreciated action, you let the ice cream carton fall to his kitchen floor, the lid popping off so that white cream and cherry chunks create a puddle near your feet. bucky doesn't dare break the connection of you two as he lifts you by your thighs, hoisting your around his waist and carrying you to his bedroom door.

his lock had been broken when he'd moved into the damp and smelly apartment, so he turned himself around and pushed the door open with his broad back as you peeled the fabric that covered his chest. his shirt was dismantled to the side, left to find sometime in the morning. "james-" you whispered through your kiss because, as he'd told you the one night you had shared dinner, you were the only one allowed to say that name. that small part of him that was still james buchanan barnes wanted to hear it from your lips only.

"sh," he quickly silenced you, placing you underneath him on his mattress like you were a delicate feather, and a touch too rough would turn you to dust. his metallic fingers pulled the ragged jeans you'd chosen that morning, leaving your legs bare to the freezing air of his home. he noticed the way your skin prickled with the cold and immediately engulfed your lower half with him. you were soothed with a loving rush of warmth as he peppered wet kisses around your thighs and waist. the bumps on your skin were gone and you felt whole again. his kisses moved to your stomach as he crawled over you with a look in his eyes you'd seen before.

"please, james," you threw your head back once his lips latched themselves to your neck. one arm wrapped around your torso, supporting your back, and the other was tracing the outline of your body with gentle touches. trailing from your shoulder to your waist, to the place between your legs that ached. cotton panties clothed your bottom and front, but they'd have to do more to get in his way.

he looks away for one moment and freezes. there he is, sitting in the chair bucky had placed in the corner of his room. he wore only a tight pair of black boxers and it clung to his skin like a second layer. his hair, dirty blonde and greasy, hung on his forehead. he had his head propped on his hand, watching intently at you both. but when your hands cupped his cheeks, and pressed him closer to you, he disappeared and the anxiety melted into your touch.

the tip of his finger pressed directly on your clothed clit as soon as he began to suck on your jaw, pushing your head back even more than before. "baby," you immediately clenched around nothing, squeezing your hand around the metal limb and he could've sworn you almost bent it.

his chuckle was deep and rumbled from his chest so that it vibrated your entire body underneath him. "what do you want, honey?" his voice dripped with fox-like slyness and his smirk had you flooding into his head.

"make me feel good..." you trailed off, eyes fluttering shut so you never noticed him move lower down your body. he pulled your panties to the side and pressed his tongue flat against your folds, so your warmer and wetter than before. his spit mixes with your fluids when he rips the cotton into shreds and throws it next to your head. "please, sir," you croak and bucky growls into your core between your legs. you wrap them around his neck and his face only reddens a tiny bit when his primary focus becomes exploring the inside of your heat. his tongue darts past your opening, wet as he pushes through the barrier only slightly stretching you. the muscle is tight and clamps down around him, but he lets the tip of his tongue push up, down, to the sides, and up again.

you released the pressure around his neck mostly because the addition of his finger against your bead was more than enough to handle. "i know you love that, doll," he whispers against your cunt, literally dripping juices from his mouth. it trails down his chin where it sticks to the curve of your ass. "love my fingers toying with your little pussy, edging you so you can cum all over my mouth," his words are filth, but then again, he has his face shoved against your wet lips, his nose bumping that sensitive spot so you moaned even louder with every passing second.

your nods are stuttered with a, "yes, sir," before he pulls away, placing both of his hands by your shoulders and meeting your eyes. you whine and groan, letting your hips rub the air for some sort of friction and bucky only smirked. gone was the thought of him and here was the beautiful presence of you. he began to unbuckle his belt, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding over the boxers covering his manhood. he held his weight in his hand, giving small strokes so he grew firmer and heavier, rubbing the head through your folds to gather your slick. you moaned, "no, james, let me help-"

his fingers took your chin so your eyes drew from his length and met him. "i just want you," bucky whispers inches away from you and pressed himself against your hole, stretching open your walls so you suffocated him. "so perfect, doll, so fucking tight."

your moan took control of his heart, leaving a clenched fist squeezing the muscle in his chest. you pressed your head into his hand he'd placed underneath you, curving your back so he rutted into a new angle. "m-more, sir," you whispered breathlessly, and it almost came out with a rasp.

"what was that, little girl?" he sneered, smirking into your ear. you could feel hot breath fanning against the side of your head, an addition to the pleasure in between your legs. his fingers trailed down your stomach with a little tickle to wear your clit dragged against his length as he continued to set a brutal pace. his balls met your ass with every pounding thrust, and his fingers harshly pinched your clit. "this good enough for you, baby doll?"

your nods are rapid and desperate, eyes squeezing shut when he hits that spot inside you. he notices it when he does--your mouth twitches and your hand shoots up to the wrist that holds your clit when he begins to rub it. "yes, sir, t-thank you," your voice cracks, words are staggered, and it's exactly how bucky likes to see you. vulnerable because he made you this way. all undone just for him.

the hand underneath your head manages to wrap around your neck, applying a pressure that cuts off your air supply. "fuck, sweetheart, this cunt's wrapped around me so tight," all of the pain, all of the suffering, and all of the dreams of ending it were nonexistent in moments like these. everything that was remnant of him was gone and for once, bucky was okay that. "so fucking perfect," he cried, eyes watering when you clenched down around him. his ghost no longer haunted him in both the shadows and light. it was like you scared him away, arms defensively shielding bucky from any harm that he could possibly cause. and yet, here you were, unraveling like a thread from a sweater simply because he could do it to you.

the pressure on your pearl, his thumb ensuring you couldn't fully breathe, and the way he continuously rammed into your sensitive spot, you were so close. you could already feel yourself just barely letting go around him, and he could too. "not yet, malen'kiy," he grinned, leaning down so his lips dragged over your chest down to where you bud clung to the cold air of his home. his eyes met yours with a playful glance as soon as he wrapped his lips around your nipple, immediately sucking harshly.

"you're evil," you manage to giggle cutting yourself off with an unexpected, pornographic moan when his teeth nipped down around you. he pulls his hand away from your neck to hear what other noises you have to give.

his chuckle was deep once again and this time, it vibrated your entire body. both of your bodies fluidly moved together, pushing and messing up the sheets he'd tightly fitted against his mattress earlier that day. you knew there'd be a puddle of your juices left on the blankets, and like always, you'd offer to wash them for him and bucky would decline. "just cum, doll," he speaks lowly. he's teasing you and he knows it.

"c-can i please cum, sir?" you batted your eyes, innocently pouting for a release. it was close and painful to hold it back any longer, growing more intense with every moment passing.

the smirk played on his lips was threatening and scary. you couldn't even remember all the times he'd denied you of an organism, pushing you over so that your toes dangled off the edge of the cliff only to pull you back. with his lips still wrapped around your bud, his hips still jutting against yours like he was a rabid dog, grunting and groaning, he spoke clearly, "cum."

if bucky could record your moans, cries, sobs, and screams--and maybe he has...--he'd listen to it until the day he died. your thighs shook around his hips, somehow loosening and tightening yourself. as you flooded around him, he could feel the warmth surrounding his length and just as you finished convulsing, clawing his vibranium arm and pulling at his hair, his tip brushed harshly against your cervix.

"fuck!" he groaned, as a shot of white fluid filled you to brim, leaving a heavy weight that spilled out with a tickle when he finally pulled from you. "oh, honey..." he must've stayed inside you for an hour, collapsing so his chest met yours and his kisses stayed on your jaw. and when the emptiness did return, leaving you to miss his cock already, he watched your eyelids fall heavy with sleep. bucky pulled the blanket over you, falling slump next to your body and wrapping his arms around yours.

your light snores and breaths were music that lulled him to sleep. the white noise he needed because the silence was scary now. he'd stayed awake for two hours after you'd fallen asleep, watching the way your chest rose and fell with an inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale pattern. and when his eyes drifted over to the armchair in the corner of his room, his ghost was no longer there to taunt him.

time flew and morning came, like always. and like always, you left without anything to wear underneath your pants and a kiss on the lips from him.

his feet padded throughout his apartment floor, wearing nothing more than black boxers and a cheap cotton t-shirt he'd gotten that barely protected him. he strolled over to his window that overlooked the street, and chuckled when he noticed you discreetly limp to your car. as you drove away, creating a distance between you, that darkness that overtook his soul returned. your presence drifted and no more could he hold you, and now, the vines began to grow.

they grew lethal thorns, bloomed toxic blossoms around his heart. he began to suffocate again, feeling a pain his chest that only you could alleviate. but now you were gone. it was when bucky wandered into his kitchen with sagging shoulders, he stepped into a wet puddle of melted ice cream and black cherries. it covered the ball of his foot with a sticky, gross layer and he collapsed.

he folded, leaning into his lap and holding his head in his hands. tears leaked into his palm, slipping through the cracks of his fingers and onto the floor. his face turned a bright red, only this time it was due to a rush of blood and an oncoming headache. he cried your name, he cried his name, and on the third body-racking sob of a garbled "steve", it was like he had summoned his arrival.

his phantom presence left a chilling feeling in the air. and without even having to look up, bucky knew that this version of steve wasn't even real. this wasn't his ghost. this wasn't him. this wasn't him returning to see bucky because he cared. this was a part of bucky's imagination, a sick and twisted form of therapy because when bucky didn't have you, he had nothing else. "you said you loved me," he had cried, biting down on his knuckles and wrist. when he met his blue eyes with a heartbroken glance, steve's expression didn't budge.

bucky had created this version of steve--this evil and cruel version of him that only made this heartache worse. he brought this torture on himself and now, he could barely handle it.

he stood, towering above him with his fists clenched. his eyes bore a hot hole in bucky's skull and every passing moment was hell. there were flames beginning to engulf bucky's body, burning his skin and leaving him as a pile of dust. after all, that's what he had been for those past five years, leaving him to learn that he didn't really need bucky. and that tore every part of him apart.

"i lied." he muttered, lips tight against his teeth as if it hurt him to say it. but still, he stood above bucky with an emotionless stare.

his cries filled the walls of his home for the rest of the day, waiting for the next chance he got to hold you again.

mutuals: @balenciagabucky @cloudystevie @honeyloverogers @steebsbabygirl @ronimina @honeychicana @fairytaleseb @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @avengersbau @bvckysmoon @sapphireplums @a-little-counter-esperanto @letters-to-esme @capsiclecevans @babyyhoneyydarling @honeysucklesteve

[outivv]

Can I just say I really do love binging your blog especially whenever it's cold? I just love snuggling up and reading some warm fluffy hcs🥰 Hashidsh however, stupid hurt/comfort brain go brrr

I'm so sorry to go back to the toxic traits hcs but are there any hcs for Zhongli? Maybe where the reader just kinda eventually starts feeling dumb around Zhongli so they just really never bother speaking up as much anymore around him, since Li talking down to them is staring to sting-

Insecure reader insecure reader inse-

Synopsis: toxic trait zhongli makes the reader feel lowkey dumb, so they stop speaking up around him.

Warnings: toxic trait, and insecure reader

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Character: zhongli

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: why hello again! Always good to see you! Thank you so much again for your kind words they always make my day ☺️. Also I agree with you. Hurt/comfort go brrrr. Also don’t worry about bringing up the toxic traits headcanons! That’s by far one of my favorite headcanons I’ve done, so I’m always glad to take a request based off of them! I hope you enjoy and take care of yourself ☺️

Second a/n: this is lowkey longer than I expected, and kinda turned into a long fic so... uh... yeah :D

Zhongli always made you feel dumb whenever you spoke up. Whether it was a simple mistake, a common misconception, or even something that was just flat out false information. He always embarrassed you telling you how wrong you were.

It’s no surprise to anyone in liyue how knowledgeable zhongli is, so they typically agree with his when he “corrects” you. Even if he’s wrong.

Zhongli is also very practical, and very straight forward. He won’t think twice before correcting you on your mistake. Even if you’re in front of a room if people he’ll correct you, making you wanting to wither away. Feeling small and insecure, you stopped speaking up. Even when the topic was something you for once were rather knowledgeable in.

Your insecurities only grew, and now you’re on the pearl gallery. Talking with many historians, and archeologists about the history of liyue. They came towards a specific area of discussion aligning with the conversation topic, and it just so happens that you were rather well versed in it.

Zhongli looked at you knowing your expertise in that area, and when you refused to meet his face he spoke up for you. “Y/n, don’t you know much about lingju pass?” He placed a hand on your back and continued, “would you mind sharing with us.”

You felt all eyes on you, and you stood shaking with pure adrenaline running through your veins. Anxious thoughts began swirling in your head, the pure thought of being embarrassed bade you want to collapse.

“Uh... I don’t know I’m not that educated on lingju pass.” You said shakily. Zhongli only chuckled not noticing your anxiety, and sudden urge to get away. “Oh come now love, no need to be so modest.” He said smiling. He had one thing going for him, and it was that reassuring smile. Though it wasn’t enough. You still felt to nervous to speak up.

“Oh no I just know there’s so much more to it than I’ve explored, so I may be wrong on many of things.” You say placing a hand on the back of your neck. You felt as though you disappointed many of the people there, but it was better than embarrassing yourself right.

Zhongli started to pick up on your mood the rest of the night. You kept declining to talk about many things that you knew well about, and whenever he mentioned you speaking up, you’d start shaking? He became rather worried about you through the evening, but didn’t say anything, for he thought it would be better to talk about it in a more quiet area.

And once you got home he jumped on the opportunity to confront you. “Love, what’s wrong?” He said as you made your way to your shared bedroom after taking off your shoes. “Hm? What do you mean? I’m fine, tired sure, but still fine.” You turned around to meet his gaze, it was full of concern. And right then you knew what he meant. “Oh... well I guess anxiety just got the best of me tonight. That’s all.”

Was that really it though? Anxiety? You typically spoke up, and would share your knowledge with others when given the chance. So why did anxiety stop you now? Zhongli wasn’t sold. But he also didn’t want to push you into talking to him when you might not want to.

“Are you sure? If that was the case why didn’t you say anything? We could’ve left if you wanted to.” He said trying to be reassuring, but truly not knowing what to do at the same time.

You felt defeated. You didn’t want to make excuses. But you also didn’t want to be embarrassed anymore by your own boyfriend. “I just feel really dumb.” You said without thinking.

Zhongli’s face turned to one of shock, and started walking towards you putting his hands on your shoulders. “Love...? Why would you think that?” He started “you’re one of the smartest people I know.” If you were one of the smartest people he knows then why did he make you feel dumb. Break things down for you like a child. Cause you to stop speaking up about something you’re passionate about.

“You made me feel dumb zhongli.” You stated shortly. Not meeting his gaze once. “You constantly correct me on the smallest of things embarrassing me in front of people all the time.” Zhongli felt as though his heart was breaking. He made you feel this way? The one who was supposed to treat you with the utmost love, and care made you feel stupid and insecure? What kind of boyfriend was he...? Surely not a good one, he thought.

“I... I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was doing that to you and... and I’m sorry.” He said barely above a whisper. He felt small, and horrible. He didn’t like this feeling. He didn’t like that he made you feel this way.

He pulled you into a hug, his hand on the back of your head as you explained that you were feeling insecure. He understands if you’re angry at him, truthfully he’s angry at himself. He promised to never make you feel insecure again, and to think before he speaks.

[jayankles]

Something to Consider

Pairing: Diana Prince x Reader/ Wonder Woman x Reader

Summary: Diana walks in at the end of a meeting between Lex and Y/N, she warns her that he is nothing but bad news. Based on the request from lovely anon: hi !! can I request Wonder Woman x fem!reader smut please? 💞 Lex Luthor flirts with the reader and Diana gets jealous af.. Maybe the reader could be related to Batman (while Diana's like Superman) so it's like a spin on the BvS scene 🥰🥰

Word Count: 1659

Warnings: smut, angst?

Written for: @anyfandomgoesbingo​

Square Filled: Angst

“Thanks for the drink, Lex.” You smirked, sipping at the whiskey, never breaking eye contact with the man. Your eyes dance over his face, trying to gage his usual stoic expression. But this time his face was one of the smallest of smiles that you had ever seen on that man’s face that wasn’t a sinister one.

“It’s just a drink, Miss Y/L/N,” Lex says, nonchalantly. Because for him, it is just a drink, it means nothing to him yet the small gesture has meant something because you had taken it from him as if it were a silent peace offering. 

“The glass I have, costs what... thirty five grand?” You shook your head at him but still took another sip. That amount of money meant nothing to Lex, it hadn’t even made a dent in his bank account.

“Unfortunately Miss Y/L/N,” Lex looked at the time on his watch. “I do have another appointment. It was a pleasure talking with you. Just think about my offer, Y/N. My door is always open, especially for a woman like you.” Lex purrs at you, his hand covering yours before he winks and walks away. You turn to watch him walk away and spot Diana in your sight. Your smile widens as you see the woman that plagues your dreams. 

Narrowing her eyes at you, she looks between you and the door Lex just walked through. “What was that all about? ‘Just think about my offer.’ What did he offer you?”

Your smile drops at the seriousness in her question. “What are you talking about? Why are you so concerned, baby? It’s just Lex Luthor, you know I can handle myself around men. It’s the women that make my legs a little shaky.”

“Do you know how dangerous he is?”

“Honey, I know dangerous. He… he is not it.” You reach out but Diana steps away, shaking her head at your actions.

“You don’t know him like I do, whatever his offer is please… don’t even consider thinking about it. He is capable of so many things that you don’t understand.” Her eyes silently plea with you, compelling you to not take Lex Luthor up on whatever it was that he had offered you. Diana didn’t want you to fall into a false sense of security to trust the man that had played a continuous game with her and the people in her team.

Your eyes hovered between both of hers and you knew she just wanted to protect you from something that you didn’t know anything about, there was something deeper going on between the two of them. 

“Okay,” you said, holding your hands out once more waiting for her to take them this time. “I’ll take care of him. I won’t accept his offer.”

“What did he offer you? Was it sexual favors?” Diana mumbles, trying to figure out what it was that Lex wanted from you to offer you something.

“Oh, Diana, are you jealous? Of a man?” you ask, your hands dropping to her hips to pull her close before you cupped her face in your hands, pressing your lips softly to hers. “I’m all yours, Diana. I promise. Let’s go home.”

*

You could feel Diana’s eyes burning into the back of your head as you turned the key into your home. She was on you as soon as she had slammed the door closed. Lips attacking yours as soon as she could reach you, your eyes widened before you start to kiss her back, tugging at any piece of clothing that you find so you can be closer to her.

With no struggle at all, she lifts you into her waiting arms, legs instinctively wrapping around her delicate hips as she harshly palms at your ass. She takes in your face, you’re perfect. The way your eyes never break from hers, the way your mouth falls open just after you bite it, but what tips Diana over the edge is the way she can hear your heart pounding in your chest. Like it is beating so hard just to reach out to her, to tangle with hers as if you couldn’t live without her hearing it.

“I love you.” It’s a hushed whisper and if you hadn’t been looking at her, you would have missed it but you heard the three most important words that meant the entire world to you. It was the three words that you had never heard before nor had you said them to anyone before.

Your lips connected once more. A fire burning low in your stomach, you ached for her. “I love you, too.”

Diana didn’t need to think twice about leading you to your bedroom. She gently set you down on your bed, not breaking the contact between the two of you until she kissed her way down your body, over your clothes, stopping just above the waistband of your pants. Diana looks up from her lashes and you see the desire in her eyes and you can’t distinguish whether it’s love or lust. You determine that it’s lust for now, you could be wrong after all. 

Easily, she removes your shoes and moves up your legs to unbutton your pants, seductively dragging them down your legs. You can feel your wetness seeping through your panties. Diana tilts her head to the side, a sneaky smirk on her face as she ripped your panties in half, tossing them across the room, leaving your cunt bare and in all its soaking wet glory.

“Diana…” you whispered, wriggling your body underneath her gaze. You didn’t know whether you were pleading for. Her lips on yours or on your pussy? You were happy for either event to occur. Diana, however, picked the latter, her body lowering so that she was lying flat on her stomach. Her eyes flickered from yours to your dripping pussy. She softly swept one of her fingers through your folds, licking off your arousal, humming at the sweet nectar she had collected. “Absolutely perfect.”

You whimpered at her praise, your hips rolling up, trying to find any friction to release the ache between your legs. The Amazon Warrior takes her time, pressing soft kisses from your knee and slowly travelling across your thigh, so close yet so far from the spot you needed her to be. Finally, she licked her tongue through your folds to your clit. You hiss as Diana continues to work over your pussy, her tongue flicking over your clit before she suctions it between her lips, sucking it until you are clawing at the bed sheets beneath your body, trying to grab hold of anything that could ground you as Diana drove you to new heights. Your mouth falls open, you squeak out a noise as Diana continues to lick your cunt and swallow down your arousal. She pushes your legs open, bringing her fingers up to swipe through your folds before two of them sink into your weeping cunt, opening yourself up to her, giving her everything you have to offer.

You feel your stomach tighten under her fingers and tongue, her ministrations sending sharp pains through your body, you shoot up, trying to close your legs around Diana’s head but her strength prevents you from moving even an inch away from her. “Keep going. Please… don’t stop.”

Diana obeyed, picking up speed in her movements, her tongue and fingers moving faster to push you to your orgasm. With a final pump of her fingers inside of your pussy, her fingers curl up into your inner walls and you’re putty in her hands, exploding around her digits as she rides out the waves of your high.

“Jesus, maybe I’ll have to make you jealous more often if that is what is going to happen.” You breathed out, trying to find an equilibrium. “I’m sorry that I made you feel inferior. To Lex Luthor of all people.”

Diana rolls her eyes, kissing her way back up your body. “Shut up, Y/N. Next time won’t be as pleasurable for you.”

“So, there is a next time.” You hummed, bringing her face to yours, silencing her with a kiss before she spoke again. “I’ll tell Lex no. I don’t want to upset you when you were just trying to protect me. I get it.”

Diana pulled you close, pressing her lips to the crown of your head, tucking you into her warm embrace. You felt so safe and secure in her arms. That was the point where you knew exactly what you were going to do.

*

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t you again, Miss Y/L/N.”

You peered over your shoulder to see the same man from a few weeks ago. “What is it this time, Lex? You bought me a house? A boat? An entire Island?”

“Oh, dear, no,” the man scoffed out a laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous. I concocted a serum. For you, I should add.”

“Lex, I told you, I don’t want any part of this and the game that we were playing. I didn’t sign up for it, please. As much as I would love to live a long and healthy life,” you breathe out, shaking your hands in front of you. “I would be forever in your debt. I appreciate your offer Mr Luthor, but I’ll have to decline. I have to live the rest of my life - whatever is left of it - as best I can, especially with the people I love. But thank you, the trouble you went through to help me means a lot.”

With your last words to him, you nod your head at the powerful man and press a kiss to his cheek. You were going to leave this earth whenever someone up there decided that it was your time to go but until then, you were going to love Diana Prince with all your heart. Nothing less.

[writingforyourpleasure]

IHTCW part II

Genre: NonIdol!AU, SummerJob!AU

Part II of

Pairing: OT7 x Reader - focus Yoongi x reader- Namjoon x reader

Summary: You do car wash as a summer job each year. But this year , 7 new employees are added to the mix.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: angst,fluff,smut

______

So apparently taehyung idea worked … which to say the least surprised you a lot.

Everyday since the photoshoot , with the boys , which was two weeks ago now. For which you took the pictures not wanting to be sexualized by some creeps, a ton of groups of girls were coming in and out at every hours of the day , sometimes even going as far as several times a day , apparently not only men could be sexualizing the other gender and be a creep about it. But the boys knew from the start that they’ll be sexualized and were strangely okay with it.

Even you had a hard time not finding them extra hot while doing the photoshoot , you were lucky they staid clothed because you would have been a babbling mess if they did.

Ever since that day you worked much longer than before at the gaz-station being overcome with those new clients. Which meant you were less at home than normal.

Which created a lot of disputes between you and your romantic partner. Tonight had been the last drop for you. They insulted you , so you took the first bag you saw and got some clothes you found not bothering to check what it was and to show it down your bag to take of on your bicycle, getting as far away as possible from this place , you used to call home.

But you really had nowhere to go to be honest. Like most of your friends were living on campus or gone back home to see their relatives for the summer break.

So you drove where you mind took you and it was at Namjoon’s house strangely. You only been there once to help him and the rest of the guys move into this new loft they shared, in was pretty big for students but you figured they had rich families or at least one of them to help them out.

You knocked on the windowed door of the loft trying to make yourself heard but still not wanting to disturb anyone’s sleep surely one of them would still be up right ?

Blue hair came into view and something overtook you , you didn’t cry no. You didn’t need to.

You tears had dry out years ago , right now you wanted to bask into a moment of serenity with whoever could hold you and it was a good thing Namjoon was the one holding you his presence making the silence around you so comfortable and easy to bask into.

You needed this. After what felt several minutes you turned to glance up at him a question on your lips but too tired to ask hoping he would come up with the sentence by himself, he did.

“Do you got a bag to sleep-over ?”

Still being your silent self , too tired of the screams, words and others you made a light sign at your backpack on your bicycle, he understood and leaved the comfort and softness of the hug to go get it for you.

He showed you the way into the house passing by a living room in which Jungkook was sleeping uncomfortably on the couch while facing a lightly blue screens playing some credits of a film .

Namjoon made a shush movement to you, before showing you his bedroom door’s , you remembered from last time.

You entered and the place seemed very calm and like a resting place for your fuzzy mind.

You went to thank Namjoon but saw him going out of his bedroom.

“Were are you going?” You said with a small voice , like a kid getting scared of the monster under their bed.

“I leave you my bed and I’ll took the couch not to disturb you , you look like you could use some sleep.”

“Ple-please don’t … don’t leave me ?” You asked making silent doe eyes over him .

His breath was shortly cut before exhaling and giving in your request . He spread out his magnificent body over the bed and you softly made a sign to ask permission for a cuddle .

He showed you into his chest and for once since a long time your night wasn’t visited by screams and insults. But rather a deep voice and pretty laugh and some blue smoke over it.

The next morning you wake up early , way too early. The harsh 6 am from Namjoon’s alarm clock was staring smugly at you , you tried you really did but no matter what you couldn’t seem to go back to bed . So you leaved the bed and warm embrace of Joon’s arm around you to put a pillow in his arms instead of your frame. With what you hoped was the smallest sounds you tip-toed to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water unfortunately for a dark figure was waiting for you causing a high pitch from your lungs joined by the cold stare of the shadow. You heart start to come back to life once you saw that in front of you for no other than Yoongi, looking at you like you grew to heads.

“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you, I mean it’s not like I’m the one standing in your kitchen at 6 am unannounced .”

“Christ Yoongi, you have no idea how much you scared me .”

“Well didn’t think it’ll be that soon I’ll hear you scream because of me.”

You rolled your eyes trying not to look like a deer caught in headlights , it wasn’t really your taste of humor but you knew he just tried to lighten up the mood.

“Subtle as ever , I see.”

“I prefer to be cash with someone who I feel attracted to.”

What? He had to be kidding, or were you dreaming and in reality still in Joon’s arms?

“I fear I did not quite get that.” You swallowed a big breath trying to shake your frozen state away.

“Too bad I hate repeating myself” He winked at you . You stood still blushing and you were thanking the lack of light in that moment, not wanting to be teased further by him.

“So what’s up? Why are you doing in my kitchen at 6 am ? Were you missing me that much?”

It kinda shocked you how this very calm man was being so straightforward something you never thought him to be .

But soon enough a sour expression painted your face remembering why you were here in the first place.

Even though the lack of lights Yoongi saw that.

“Do you want me to help out?”

“There’s nothing to be done , I’m afraid.”

You sighs as you made your way to the sink to serve yourself a glass of water.

“Are you sure?” Yoongi was now right in front of you caging him between his two arms on each sides of your hips while they were resting against the sink.

“I-I don’t-“

“I really want to help you out , I’ll be happy to.” He whispered getting closer to you.

“I don’t get it, what-“

“Do you want me to kiss you?” His lips were a few inches away from yours and you could feel the light scent of his morning shave hitting your nostrils as you took a deep breath in.

“Do you want to kiss me?” You asked not leaving his lips from your glance as he licked them purposefully .

“I was thinking I made that point pretty clear.” At that you lashed out your anger on his lips not, giving him a minute to catch on before colliding your lips on his.

There was something pretty aggressive from you directed towards him, well not him really more to the world and how unfair this all was but you had the sensation that he could get it, that he was somewhat as torn up inside as you were . He responded to the kiss pretty fast . But to your shock his kiss wasn’t rushed at all on the contrary it was barely a peck before he moved away from your lips.

“No matter what brought you here, selfishly I’m happy it happened.” And before you knew it his lips find yours again, just caressing yours , being awfully slow, where yours were being more insistent and wanting to speed up. But the clashing of the both were mixing quite well to your delight.

They was something in the way he wanted to calm you down that was very much needed, as if he was saying sorry to your scars and broken heart, as if he could convince your heart to throb once more for someone new , where you were screaming for violence , he was moving in your wounds trying to stitch them up. He was being so calm and overall confident in the good care he was putting you through that might had thought he could be the cure to it all if you hadn’t been so lied to and putting through toxic relationships for so many years before meeting them.

His long skinny fingers found the hem of your shirt delicately brushing it up over your head , standing aside for a few seconds taking in your braless state in admiration and lust .

He licked his lips once again , his expression looking as blank as ever.

He oh so calmy took off Namjoon’s sweatpants falling on his knees, facing your crotch.

Needless to say you were intimidated to found yourself naked in front of the clothed man.

You yelped when he took a lick at your core and an overdramatic sigh at your taste. You were feeling all the blood leave to your head in that instant, your eyes struggling to stay open when is cold breath fanned over your glistening folds of his saliva.

In over just a minute he was making out loudly with your pussy making it clenched at all the pervert sounds the two combined were making.

The obscene sounds of your whimpers and the sounds of Yoongi’s flat tongue against your core were echoing through the walls of the kitchen, and even if your mind was being transported to another place as the fearless moves Yoongi’s tongue was making you try to resist your instincts to close your legs opting against it , and opening them wider for Yoongi hands to roam against.

This truly was the best cunni you ever had. For once your partner wasn’t afraid to use all of the strength he had to satisfy you and without much help you were cumming against his tongue, he hold you in place as your hips buckled against his face.

That’s when the light of the kitchen lightened up to reveal your fucked out face and Yoongi’s wild hair from your hands scratching up against his scalp.

A blushing Taehyung was standing in the hallway leading to the stairs.

In just over a few seconds you were a babbling mess meetings Taehyung’s shocked eyes.

That’s where something you never expected happened right in front of you.

Yoongi got up licking exaggeratedly his lips to stand in front of him and kiss him hungrily.

[deceitful-darlings]

Hey man, I love your work!!! it’s some of the most well written things on this hellscape of a site. I hope you don’t mind if I throw out this ending to the Narnia twins! Hope you have a good day!!!

Mc shows up to the castle and is sneaking around to find the kids. She finds kaia in the library, crooning something in a language Mc heard jade speak before, happily reading a spell book and practicing ice magic on a squirrel, enjoying her role as a sadistic princess and adoring daughter.

Finn is in a indoor swimming pool, swimming around in a form you have never seen, with a long eel like tail instead of legs and stripes running down his chest, he seems to be talking with himself about how uncle floyd would love it here and when will dad be back with mom.

MC decided to get her kids out when jade is sleeping and slinks off to hide. When night falls and MC goes to Finns room to get him, instead of Finn by himself, it’s him, kaia and jade. The kids run up and hug mom, squeezing her and chirping about how happy they are that’s she’s here and how nice their dad is. Then jade moves in, telling his children that MC is probably tired from the day and how it’s bedtime for both of them anyways, ruffles the twins hair a bit and escorts Mc back to the bedroom that she and jade once shared. Jade is silent as stone, locking the door and chaining Mc to the bed, curling up against the struggling Mc he bites her neck and says in a flat tone that the next one he gets to name.

Nine months later the twins are curled up together in a nursery, cooing and fawning over their cute ‘n chubby baby brother named Floyd. He of course looks like a mini version of uncle floyd with droopy yellow-grey eyes and a hair stripe on his left side.

You can add or change anything you want to this ending, maybe add a bit of spice, anyways I love your work and hope that your phone charger works in any way and both sides of your pillow are cool!!!

My writing? You wrote a full on novel with far more detail than I’ve ever put in my posts on here! You guys have the skill here! Still, those two hopes are the most touching wishes I’ve ever received, I have tears in my eyes!

Poor MC, what a horrible ending for you! You aren’t sure how you managed to sneak into the castle, the staff are as discreet as they were when you was trapped here all those years ago and the thought of being captured has you on edge with your nerves shot to pieces. Every sound, movement, the smallest of twitches could have you being seen with the ice not hiding you.

You know you can’t get the twins out of the castle straight away, it’s still light meaning that if you’re caught you have less chance of managing to escape the castle. As much as you hate being in here a second longer than you have to, you know you have to wait. You have a while until nightfall, so decide to sneak around to at least catch a glimpse of them to make sure nothing terrible has happened to them whilst they’ve been here.

What you find...you can only hope is happening because Jade forced them to. Seeing Kaia’s eyes as she all but tortures the small creature in front of her with her magic. All you can do is tell yourself that she’s only doing it because she doesn’t have a choice, Jade must have told her to! Finn talking to himself about how he wishes you were with his dad must just be him reassuring himself out of fear, how could he not be nervous seeing as he’s in a different form, you were shocked and it wasn’t your body so it must be worse for him!

So when night falls and the halls go quiet, you make your way to the familiar corridor of room knowing Jade would likely keep them close until he felt he could trust them. There’s only one room that seems to have any level of noise when you decide to make your move, knowing it was probably Finn’s since he tended to stay up later headed towards it to collect him and find Kaia, but when the door opens your heart jumps into your throat.

Despite being sure you saw him leave, Jade is in the middle of the room with your children by his side, Kaia with a spellbook in hand and Finn holding a broken piece of statue. You want to rush in and snatch them away from him, to yell at them to get away from him, but your body is frozen and the words lodged in your throat. You can barely stop yourself from bursting into tears when they both run up and hug you, saying they’re glad you’re home. It’d been only a few hours and yet they already saw this place as home as opposed to the house you’d raised them in. In a single moment your years of effort and stress and fear feel pointless, and that feeling of utter hopelessness allows the first tear to drip down your face.

When Finn asks if you’re alright Jade steps in. It’s been a long and tiring day for everyone, you’re simply a bit overwhelmed by emotions knowing that you’re safe and together again. It’s getting late so the twins don’t fight when he tells them it’s time for bed, there’s plenty of time left for everyone to get properly acquainted and explore. The grip he keeps on your hip is enough to stop you breaking down into hysterics, you can’t expose Kaia and Finn to the reality of your relationship with Jade, not until they’re much older, so you let him lead you out of the room to his own not too far away.

But when the door shuts and you’re alone together, the change isn’t unexpected. The kind smile is now much more sadistic, his grip bruising as he pushes you onto the bed. You not only ran from him, you stole ten years of his childrens’ lives from him, to make up for your mistake you’ll give him a child he can be there for. The cold mental of the chain he traps your ankle in bites into your skin, but that discomfort is soon overshadowed by the searing pain of his sharp teeth sinking into your neck. Did you really think you would just return and everything would be fine? No, you need to be punished for your actions, some self reflection in complete isolation in a freezing room should do nicely which would give him some one on one time with the twins while you deal with the consequences of your actions. The twins don’t question him saying you’re sick due to the sudden temperature shift and don’t want to pass it on to them, he lets them visit just before you’re about to fall asleep so you aren’t conscious enough to try and tell them to run, when you do fall asleep, Kaia always forms ice flowers in the vase Jade placed by your bedside to help you feel better and carry on her training.

But once they’ve left to go to bed he wastes no time. To carry on your punishment he’s rough when he takes you, he doesn’t bother listening to your pleas as he tears the clothes from your body, sinks his teeth into your neck, shoulders, chest, anywhere he can reach, and mercilessly plunges his fingers into your heat, dragging his thumb across your clit and making sure to catch the sensitive bud with his nail. But he doesn’t let you cum, he’s not here to satisfy you until you realise your wrongdoings, even after he sinks his cock into you it’ll be hours before he lets you. Only when you’re completely incoherent, barely able to put together a few words to beg him to let you cum, your nerves on fire, only able to focus on the painful feeling between your legs, and this happens every night until you’re pregnant again.

He’ll stop being quite so cruel to you at this point, he doesn’t want to risk losing the baby so he’ll increase the temperature of the room again, he lets you get adequate sleep, it’s 9 months of respite from the way he treated you. But don’t think that once the baby is born that if you’re attitude hasn’t changed that he won’t do this all over again. You’ll soon learn that if you refuse him then the only way to avoid his cruelty is to be pregnant with his child, so how long will it be before you give up? Kaia and Finn were so happy when Floyd was born, and as a ruler the more descendant he has the better so don’t think he’ll hesitate in using pregnancy to break you mentally. You simply need to accept the happy family this is.

[nervousladytraveler]

From Duty (Chapter 4? 5?)

“What shall we do?” Demelza asked, her voice almost dreamy. To whom was she even speaking and about which of the thousands of human dilemmas?

“We go down to your shelter,” Ross said quickly, slipping on his shirt and fumbling with his buttons in the dark.

The whining rise and fall of the siren was louder now. Closer.

Instantly she seemed to snap out of her fog and into action, leaping to her feet and reaching for an old cotton frock that laid over a chair. A routine she’d had weeks to practice. Ross noticed she didn’t bother with any underwear and worried she’d be cold.

“You’ll come down? With me?” She sounded relieved. “Of course you will.” She shook her head.

Now was not the time to worry about what the neighbours thought. If Ross stayed in her flat and died, they'd talk just as much as if she brought a live man down with her. What other options did he have really other than to risk his life going out to seek shelter in the nearby Underground?

“Introduce me as your cousin, ” Ross suggested and by feel found both their woolen coats on hooks by the door. “Come, we have to go.” He reached for her hand, urgently, protectively, as she slipped into her shoes.

“Yes, Ross,” she said and followed him out into the darkness.

They emerged from the cellar four hours later.

Demelza needn’t have worried--the neighbours asked no questions about her visitor, perhaps they’d been too preoccupied with the possibility of impending doom to make a fuss. Still she’d introduced him as a cousin as they settled into a far--and airless--corner.

“I was visiting and it got late,” Ross had mumbled.

“And naturally once curfew fell you couldn’t leave,” Mrs. Boylan had offered, generously. The woman had five children so she knew a thing or two about what happened between a man and a woman under the cover of night.

No one noticed when Demelza leaned wearily against Ross. And despite the thunderous roars, compliments of their German guests outside, and the near-constant wails from the terrified British children inside, she managed to fall asleep. Ross’s arms wrapped tightly around her, warming her from the December chill.

Once they emerged, silent but alive, they saw the air in the streets was thick with mist and smog and smoke--the unmistakable smell of destruction. It was still dark but soon a triumphant sun would beam down on them all.

Survival was measured one night at a time. For some--not all. Demelza’s building was still standing but at the end of the road, a pile of rubble lay where Pally’s locksmith shop had stood only the day before.

“What will you do now?” Demelza asked closing the flat door behind her, once they were back upstairs. Without saying a word she began to make tea, although what Ross really wanted was a slug of whisky.

“I’ll walk home,” he said.

“But it’s so far!” she cried.

“I’ve done it before...and I’ve walked further distances. I was a soldier once, don’t forget.”

She knew he was right--taxis weren’t exactly plentiful after an air raid and the Underground might not yet be running.

“But I’ll be alright and should make it to the office by nine.” He kissed the top of her head.

“I’ll be watching the clock,” she said and looked up at him. “Ross, what are you thinking?” she said. He hadn’t said a word but she’d read his worries.

“Nothing...” He turned to gather his remaining belongings scattered about her flat. No, better to be truthful--besides, she’d know if he was hiding something. “I’m thinking that I don’t like your shelter.”

“My shelter? I’m not overly fond of it either but I’m certainly grateful it’s there when the need arises,” she laughed.

“It’s entirely too close, not nearly enough air for the number of people it supports. How many were we? Fourteen?”

“Mrs. Boylan was holding her infant son, so really it was fifteen,” she said.

“Christ! And I examined the framing--the timber is ancient, you know--and the whole thing will collapse easily with just the smallest rumble. Not to mention it's a fire hazard on the best of days, even without the threat of an incendiary bomb…”

“Ross…” She put her hand on his arm. She meant what choice did she have? Did any of them have, really?

“Mine is better,” he said.

“What?”

“The shelter in my building. It’s newer, reinforced concrete, steel...It isn’t just a cellar or even one of those corrugated garden constructions. It was actually built in the last war specifically for this sort of thing…”

“And a bit of a jog for me when the sirens go off here,” she laughed.

“No, I mean...come live with me.”

“Oh Ross, you are daft,” she said with a smile. Was it lack of sleep? Lack of oxygen? Surely something was impairing his senses.

“Leave your post. I could employ you as a maid and you could live-in. I have a servant’s room--it’s warm and dry.” Had he noticed the leak in her bedroom ceiling?

“And what would people say of us?”

“What people?” he asked.

“Your wife wouldn’t hear of this? Technically it’s still her flat as well. And once I start to show…”

“Yes?”

“Oh Ross, anyone would guess what had occurred. Unless you kept me locked in a cage, the arrangement would be hardly discreet!”

“Demelza…”

“Besides I’m a shit maid, you’ll find.” She pointed to the unwashed dishes in the basin.

“I doubt that.” He seemed to believe what he said. “Look, I’m not letting go of this idea.”

“Then you are as stubborn as you are handsome, Ross Poldark,” she laughed. “It’s getting late--you’d better go, my dear.” She hated to say it but it was true. He had no way of knowing what obstacles he might come across in his journey through the ravaged roads that morning.

“I will see you later then, Miss Carne, in the halls outside Room 4…”

“Shh,” she teased and put a finger to his lips. “You mustn’t say it aloud…”

“Room 443.” He said defiantly and kissed her hand. Then remembering that she was bare under her frock, he squeezed her bottom for good measure.

“Tut tut, Poldark. Such careless talk!” she laughed and repaid him with a playful tug of his hair. “And as you pass by--in those halls that must not be spoken of--I will modestly avert my gaze but you will see by my secret smile that I’m imagining your…”

“My what?” He pressed his body to hers so she could feel the not-so-secret bulge in his trousers.

“Your toes,” she laughed. “I was going to say your toes.”

“My toes?”

“Yes, I enjoy how you drag them along my ankle when you lie beside me. And I’m rather fond of your feet as well.”

“You’ll have to demonstrate your fondness later then. Will I see you tonight?” he asked and wrapped his arms even tighter around her.

“No, darling, you have a meeting with Sir Francis Bassett. Don’t you remember?”

“Vaguely,” he said, which they both knew was code for no. “How is it that you remember?”

“I scheduled it for you,” she smiled. “And then no doubt you’ll dine with him and let's face it, there will be drinks afterwards. No, my dear Ross, when you're done with the fine cigars and even finer cognac, tuck yourself safely into a taxi and go straight home.”

To your warm dry flat and your reinforced shelter. Strangely she wasn't at all concerned that he’d find a girl and go home with her, even though they’d never spoken of an exclusive understanding.

“But Thursday?” he asked, unable to conceal his desperation.

“Yes, Thursday you will come to me,” she said and rested her cheek on his shoulder. “And I will be waiting.”

[hazbbyhaz]

sleepless || harry styles

twenty four

pairing: Harry Styles x OC

synopsis: the party cleanup

disclaimer: mentions of selfharm, mentions of scars

just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are - John Green

At 3am the party had finally started to die down, people slowly funneling their way out. And by 3:30, All the guests were gone, leaving Avery, Harry, and Francis. Avery was on her fourth cup of coffee, the caffeine keeping her awake enough to not pass out on the couch. Everyone was sitting in the living room, strewn around the space. All of them winding down from the energy that the party created. It was silent. Serene. Comforting, in a way.

Harry was the first to move, starting to pick up the mess that swept the entire flat. Avery and Francis joined him soon after. They collected all the cups and plates that were scattered about, bringing all of them to the kitchen. Francis washed the dishes, Avery dried and put them away, and Harry made several trips around the apartment to collect all the trash.

Avery was lost in her own world, taking her time in drying the dishes and figuring out where they were kept. A tap on her shoulder had broken her from her trance. When she looked back, she saw Francis with a big soapy beard on his face. His jaw was completely covered in bubbles.

“How do I look, Avery?”

“Absolutely fabulous, if I do say so myself.” They were giggling like children, the sound echoing through the kitchen.

The laughter had Harry making his way to the source, and the sight in front of him had him laughing too. It was nice seeing Avery and Francis smiling and laughing. It was something that he hadn’t seen in a while, mainly from his friend. Maybe this party really was what he needed. Maybe this was a fresh start.

“Alright Old Saint Nick, let's get the kitchen cleaned up, after that we are finished till the morning.”

Harry chuckled, throwing a towel to Francis, and after he wiped his face clean, they continued. The rest of the dishes were washed and put away, the counters were wiped down, and the floors were swept. Avery had the cake she made in her hands, about to put it in the fridge, before she heard someone protest.

“Nope. You're not putting that masterpiece away until you try a piece.”

Francis hastily took it out of her hands, grabbed a paper plate, and cut a small slice out of the cake. He just about shoved it into her hands, not taking his eyes off of her until she took a bite. "It's very sugary," She said, grimacing as she swallows her first bite. "I think I need to cut down on that the next time"

"I think it’s great," Francis shrugs, getting a new fork to take a bite from her piece. "I mean, considering this is one of your first cakes, this is amazing."

"Thank you." After tasting the cake herself, Avery doubted that he was telling the truth. It was awful. "Harry, you try a bite" She holds the fork out to Harry and he doesn't even take the utensil from her, but eats it straight from the fork. The silly action instantly made her blush, All the heat rushing to her face and making it beet red. But the redness of her cheeks quickly vanishes as Harry loudly coughs, and nearly downs a whole glass of water after swallowing the small bite of cake.

"I'm sorry, Ave, but..." He takes a breath. "that is revolting. Francis, how are you just eating that?" Avery giggles, looking over at Francis, who has almost finished her piece.

"I can feel the cavities forming in my teeth..." He takes another sip off his water.

"I like it." Francis concludes with a shrug. "Anyways, Avery, are you staying here or should we take you home? I can play my charm and convince Mrs Sheffield to give us her car keys."

"It's 4am," Harry frowns.

“Trust me, she loves me!"

They keep bantering back and forth while Avery contemplates if she should stay or go. She had been with Harry for a majority of the weekend, rarely leaving his side. She didn’t want to overwhelm him. Didn’t want him to get tired of her presence or feel like she was clinging to him. "You can stay, Ave. It's no problem." Harry says, bringing her back into reality with his green eyes looking into her own.

"I don't want to bother you guys"

"You're not bothering anyone. Stay. I can walk you home after breakfast"

Her gaze moves over to Francis, who was putting the cake back into its container. She was looking for him to protest, for him to say that he didn’t want her there. But he didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, so she nods. "Alright, just til after breakfast."

Harry breaks into a smile and Francis puts the dessert in the fridge, slowly closing the door. "Great, now that this has been discussed, I am going to bed." Francis said goodnight to the two before vanishing in his bedroom. Avery noticed how Harry's eyes stayed fixed on his friends door for a moment.

"He likes you." Harry then says, turning back to her with a gleaming smile.

"I'm glad"

He walks over to her, leaning against the kitchen counter. "When do you go back to work?"

"Tomorrow."

"You're going to be tired."

"I'll be fine." She murmurs. In the dim kitchen light, Harry can see the three freckles on her nose, and the different shades of blue in her eyes. There had been numerous times where he’d thought about kissing Avery. More than he would like to admit. So many times where he wanted to sweep the loose strand of hair behind her ear, cup her cheek, and put his lips onto her own. He believed that, maybe, her pain would leave after he kissed her. He knew that it was stupid. That it was impossible. That something that mundane could ever fix the pain that she had felt.

So, out of all these times, he picked this one. He picked this time because he was tired. He picked this time because he still had some liquid courage coursing through his veins. He picked this time because she looked just… so unbearably sad. Even though he knew she had a great time that night, there was this underlying look to her. Even at her happiest, she always looked to be sad. Like she was in a great world of pain. Always.

He slowly leaned closer, his gaze fixed on hers. She didn't move away from him as their eyes met. "I don't think we should do that," Her breath is warm against his lips. "You'd regret it."

"I doubt that." His words are hushed, and if he leaned a bit closer, just the smallest bit, their lips would touch. Averys gaze switched between his eyes and his lips. She wants to be brave enough to close the gap. She does. But there is a small voice in her head telling her that it's wrong. That she will destroy everything that she has created if she moves forward with what's happening.

"You're so soft nobody knows how to take care of you".. "You know what you are? An ungrateful brat. That's all that you are, and that’s all you’ll ever be".

"You're pathetic, I can't deal with you anymore. No one can."

"I'm sorry but... I can't." She whispers and she doesn't have to tell him that's it because of her mind, her past, and everything that she continues to hide from him. He knows.

"I get it." Harry reassures her and instead of kissing her lips, he kisses her forehead.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” He leaned in again, pressing his lips to her forehead once more. This time letting them linger.

“It’s okay, Ave. It’s alright. You don't need to be sorry.”

So, instead of kissing, they watch Lost In Translation. Harry had fallen asleep shortly after, his head resting on her thigh, and Avery’s fingers gently carted through his soft, honey brown curls. Somewhen, the morning sun illuminated the living room. The early morning rays casting a golden shadow over the room. Bathing everything in what could only be described as eternal light.

Francis emerged from his bedroom soon after the sun rose, stopping for a short second to look at his friend. Harry was asleep on Avery's lap, his face cuddled into her stomach with her hand resting on his head. He looked so at peace, even youthful in his sleep. He was getting the rest that Francis knew he deserved. That he needed.

Seeing him and Avery together made Francis happy. He saw the way that they had interacted during the party. They were always together, never spending much time apart.

Francis made his way to the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water. He got a cup out of a cabinet, one that had been washed only hours ago, and filled it at the kitchen sink. not bothering with ice, it was too early for ice cold water. Once the cup was full, he turned off the tap and turned around. He jumped and nearly dropped his cup, startled to see Avery stood at the entrance of the small space.

“Jesus! You scared me.” Francis leaned against the counter, holding a hand up to his chest in an effort to slow his racing heart.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

They stood there in silence for a while. Avery eventually made her way into the kitchen, sitting atop of the counter closest to the entrance. Francis was looking out the small window they had in the kitchen, and Avery watched. He didn’t seem to be actively in the room. His mind was elsewhere. This was a different kind of silence. Not like the atmosphere that they had experienced after everyone had left hours ago. This one was darker, in a way.

Somehow, Avery knew. She just knew. She knew that he was troubled. Maybe it was the worry that Harry always had in his eyes when looking at his friend. Maybe it was the dread that showed in Harry’s face whenever he called. Or maybe it was her own personal experience. But, either way, she knew. She could see the scars that littered his arms, the ones he had tried so desperately to cover, and it made her angry. Did she have a real right to be angry? No. She didn’t truly know the boy that was standing in front of her, but she knew enough. She knew enough to know that he shouldn’t feel that kind of pain. From what she had seen, he was funny, caring, and he stood by his friends. He cared for his friends. She didn’t want anyone to know half of what she had been through, what she had felt. And she knew that he had.

“Francis?”

“Yes?”

“Just… thank you.”

He looked bewildered by her words, not knowing what they were for. “For what, Avery?”

“For earlier. Eric. You saw that he was bothering me and you told him off. I never got to thank you for it.”

“Oh… it was no problem. He was being a prick. He kept on advancing towards you when you told him no, and I won't stand by to see that.” He made his way to the kitchen sink, Avery not too far from him, and started to rinse out his empty glass. Avery watched as he did so, closing her eyes shortly after to let them rest for a minute.

“Avery?”

“Yes, Francis?”

“Can you promise me something?” He looked into her eyes, a serious glint inside of them.

“I guess so… what is it?”

“This probably isn’t my place, and I apologize if I offend you in any way. But, just… please stand up for yourself. Okay? There are loads of blokes like Eric, people who will take advantage of you because you are too nice, people who will disregard your rejection of their actions. You have to stand up for yourself. I would hate to see you get hurt because of something like that.”

She was taken aback by what he was saying. She didn’t know how to respond, at least not right now. So she simply nodded her head, casting her eyes downward.

“And thank you for the cake, I really appreciate it.”

“Of course. I'm glad.”

Avery’s apartment was a wreck. Various papers and notebooks littered every surface as she tried to find a good sample she could send over to Hughes Magazine. This was a real opportunity, one that needed to be taken seriously. She has the chance to be a published writer, to have something that she had written somewhere in the world for people to see. To say that this was nerve wracking was a major understatement. Avery was sitting in the middle of her living room looking like a mad woman, frantically flipping through notebooks in hopes of finding something that she deemed good enough.

After going through every piece of writing she had, she decided to submit two short stories and a handful of poems. She chose pieces that, she hopes, shows her diversity as a writer. Avery wanted this to be something, just once. She added her CV and all the other required information before attaching the poems and stories at the end of the e-mail, sending it off to their office in London before closing her laptop, pushing every bad thought aside.

As she began to pick up the mess she had made in the process, Avery's phone lit up showing her a message from Tom.

Tom: Hey, is there any chance you could come in early tomorrow? I've found a potential new employee and I would like you to show her around a bit.

Avery: Sure. How much earlier?

Tom: Thirty minutes early will be fine, just need a second opinion on her. She would be starting work soon, if she is decent at everything.

Avery: I'll be there.

Tom: Thank you, Avery :)

"What do you think about the editing?" Harry questions Francis, showing his laptop with the edited photo on the screen. He spent the whole Sunday in front of the computer, trying to finish editing the set his boss needed for an upcoming ad. His eyes were exhausted and his head ached from the hours he spent looking at the monitor screen.

"I like it," Francis says with a shrug, continuing to eat his Ben and Jerry's out of the paper container.

"I need constructive criticism, Frany. Saying you like it is not cutting it anymore." Harry groans, putting his head back to regain composure and stretch his sore neck.

"You know I'm devoted to the numbers.'" Francis replies with a sigh. "I can't give you constructive criticism when I don't understand it."

"It's art. Most of the time you don't have to understand it."

"Why are you not doing your black and white photography? I love it and I know you do too, I'm sure there are some people who would buy it."

"Those “some people” aren't going to pay rent," Harry closes the laptop, realizing Francis really wouldn't be much help here, and layed down on the sofa, his head atop the arm rest. "I wish I could just do that."

"I’d say do it. Do what makes you happy. That's what you always tell me, anyway."

"Yes, but you're different," Harry murmurs, his eyes closed and his forearm shielding them from the sunlight. "And what would I photograph? I don't go out anymore, I barely see James or Emily or Anais anymore. And God, I have a million photographs of you already."

"First of all, you make that sound like a bad thing." Francis replies, before eating another spoon of his ice cream. "Why don't you do a series on Avery?"

"She doesn't like being photographed."

“May I remind you that that's what you do? Take photographs without people noticing, so it's not staged."

"Yes I know, but-" Before Harry can finish his sentence Francis makes his way to Harry's room only to come out a minute later with a large black and white print. Harry remembered that day as if it were yesterday. It was Anais’s birthday party. Francis wasn't well that day so Harry had to take him to the party, he didn’t trust him enough to leave him home alone. He had spent the whole evening making rounds around the house, camera in tow, capturing every guest he could.

The photo in front of him showed Francis in an armchair in Anais’s living room. There was a half empty glass of champagne in his hand and a red balloon tied to his pinky, and at the first glance it almost looked comical. This sad boy with all the balloons, presents, and dancing people around him.

That same night, Harry had gotten absolutely wasted. So, when Francis told him that he wanted to go home, he didn't hold him back. He didn't look at him, not really, not like he should have. Once he had finally made his way back to their flat, he found Francis cutting himself on the bathroom floor and immediately sobered up. They didn't talk while Harry gently patched his friend up, doing so with so much care that it made Francis cry. And they didn't talk while Harry sent Francis to bed before he cleaned the bathroom, blaming himself for everything that had happened in the process.

Despite everything that came after, this was still one of his favorite photographs he had ever taken. The black and white didn't seem dramatic, but natural. He caught Francis without a mask, just Francis. It was safe to say that his best friend despised the whole thing, he didn't like it one bit and Harry was sure that if he hadn't stopped him, Francis would have ripped the print to shreds immediately.

"I really like that print..." Harry mumbles, eyeing the photograph that feels like it was taken so long ago. When he was still so naive and inexperienced, thinking he could just do this his whole life. "But I can't do it. I have to think about earning money, this dream won't take me anywhere."

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