#i mean killing a man to make your bf believe you isn’t the smartest move ever

[cupofearlgreytea]

thinking about how important it was for julian fromme that the murder was “mutually assured destruction”, how he was so concerned that the blame would be split equally between him and paul, how he didn’t want paul to be the one to actually murder stephanek. all of this for paul. because he wanted them to be united by this crime.

and how when paul accused him of uncosciously making sure he survived no matter what, julian couldn’t speak. he “looked at him with something that could have been pity as easily as horror”, and then had a panic attack.

a wave of guilt and terror and shock started to hit him, because if he had murdered a man for paul and still paul didn't believe him, still suspected him of manipulating him, then he had killed him for nothing.