#i mean it as the way yuuji tried desperately to understand sukuna even if he couldnt exactly forgive him

[mossterunderthebed]

[cruyuu]

Oh my god your last SukuIta post is so asl;djfdsa;l.... Like I always knew that Sukuna was lonely and that Yuuji was the only one that Sukuna ever needed to feel fulfillment, I completely missed the fact that YUUJI is lonely too. I mean... in the JJK world, where everyone is either morally gray or evil, is apathetic to the wellbeing of the masses/common man, and prioritizes only themselves and those they happen to care about, Yuuji is literally the only purely morally good and selfless (1/2)

character out there. There is literally NOBODY out there who understands Yuuji or his mindset or his convictions except Sukuna, even if Sukuna refuses to acknowledge that he understands him. And there is something oddly romantic about that??? Because unlike literally everyone and their mother (Gojo, Kashimo, etc) trying and failing to reach Sukuna, NOBODY even tries to understand Yuuji. Instead, Yuuji's always the one trying to understand and reach out to others (Hikari, Higurama, etc). (2/3) So, Sukuna's the only person who truly, genuinely understands Yuuji, and who, despite himself, actually took the time to observe him and understand his worldview. They are literally the only people who can ease each other's loneliness and that is so a;sjdlfja;s to me just GOD

Oh, anon, you're right. You're so right. You hit the nail on the head and you made me tear up a little.

The reason that post even came to be is because I listened to Day Scanner, one of Sukuna's character songs, and realized that it awfully fits someone else as well. Yuuji, alongside Sukuna, is also unreachable but the way the narrative unfolds it is so hard to notice until you really sit down and think about Yuuji as a character. Does he have an equal? Is there anyone as selfless as him? Isn't he also "unseen and unknown by anyone"?

And yet, someone sees him. Someone is acknowledging him and actively trying to push his brilliance to the surface, even if unaware of it. Someone who's so praised by the narrative, constantly winning and is unbeatable and unreachable. Someone who comments on his progress as a sorcerer constantly, plucks away the strong so that he gets to shine.

Just look at these mirrors. Just look at them as characters and how well they compliment each other. It's so tragic, so beautiful, so... I don't know really. I lack the proper words to describe it.

It is like you've said, anon, yet at the same time it's also so much more. Yuuji is completely selfless and it's to that point that he disregards his life for the sake of others. He considers himself unworthy of living, someone who's weak and frail, a cog in the machine. There's also this fact that there's truly no one who can essentially match his selflessness just like how there isn't anyone who can match Sukuna's selfishness. Both of them are lonely like that and would've remained to be if only Sukuna wasn't reincarnated into Yuuji and is learning him, someone who's so opposite of him that he can't help but call boring, but the truth couldn't be more opposite than that. You worded it best:

So, Sukuna's the only person who truly, genuinely understands Yuuji, and who, despite himself, actually took the time to observe him and understand his worldview. They are literally the only people who can ease each other's loneliness

Honestly, I thought of making a follow up post to further emphasize just how perfect yet tragic and romantic it all is. Considering you've sent this ask and ticked my brain, I'll just elaborate further here to the best of my ability. The truth is these two fry my brain and leave me speechless because how cruel and wonderful they are. How undeserving yet deserving of each other they are. Sukuna's someone Yuuji desperately needs while Yuuji is someone Sukuna desperately needs and yet these two are so bad for each other, practically convincing you that they actually need to stay away from each other to be happy and yet they need each other to really be happy. It's all over the story really and it drives me insane and never fails to bring me to tears.

Again, to them it's all about others except each other. It's very fitting that their souls are intertwined because both of them are unconsciously matching each other as perfect equals even if they're anything but, even if they're fighting against the very notion. Sukuna is Yuuji's curse, Yuuji is Sukuna's. Yuuji can't die surrounded by others as long as he's around and meanwhile Sukuna could face death by Yuuji considering he's proving to be an equal who doesn't just die. Yet if these two just turned to each other, they'll funnily get what they've been looking for all along. Yuuji could die a honorable death without regret by bringing Sukuna down, helping everyone in the process instead of cursing them and therefore would be surrounded by others, and Sukuna could finally face an equal capable of killing him.

Yuuji is insignificant, is pathetic and yet he's still the only one who continually survives encounters with the unbeatable Sukuna. Yuuji terribly wants to connect with others, others who are stronger than him, but he can never be their equal because he's weak, but against someone as strong as Sukuna, he manages to hold out and survive.

They are, plain and simple, wish fulfillment for each other because ever since Yuuji brought back Sukuna, he got what he wanted which was immeasurable strength. He's able to harness cursed energy, to meet and connect with other people and not die alone. Sukuna, on the other hand, gets reincarnated again all because of Yuuji and gets his fair share of fights because of people who jump in to protect Yuuji. Hell, Higuruma gains acknowledgement by Sukuna as someone even stronger than Gojo, a genius.

And this happens right after Higuruma recalls this:

It is Yuuji who is changing and molding people's souls and making them appear "appetizing" and even stronger in Sukuna's eyes, giving him what he wishes for.

And the following after this entire moment where Sukuna confesses the truth, after fighting someone who's a total mirror of him- except to Sukuna he's greedy because he grew lonely and wanted connection (but then again, didn't Sukuna as well because otherwise why split your soul and continue living even if you've had your fill, hm? What motivates you? Aren't you greedy as well, looking for someone?) and right after saying this, guess who's there?

Like... what else can I say? I can't handle just how well written it all is.

As for Gojo, well-

All of that which he was supposed to do as "the strongest" comes to fruition only because of Yuuji, Yuuji who willingly went and embraced death even if nothing is his fault. The truth was that- out of all the students Gojo had- Yuuji was the only one who really needed help because he is guided by his selflessness, is constantly taking blame for something which was out of his control. Still, this isn't to prove how weak he is, but quite the opposite, how strong he is. How he pushes people to be better and do what they were supposed to do even before but didn't want to. All of Gojo's students were selfish, after all, but Yuuji isn't. He originally lacks cursed energy, is completely new to this world of jujutsu sorcery and it makes you feel sorry for him, so sorry because he never asked for any of that. All of what's happening to Yuuji, after all, is Sukuna's fault.

Yuuji has this incredible gift- humanizing people with his selflessness. He actively strips down any negative aspect of them, the aspect which belongs to curses, and makes them embrace their humanity. Sukuna, on the other hand, embraces humans and teaches them about being a curse. Yuuji is a perfect human, like Sukuna is a perfect curse and yet both of them are actively rejecting the other side. Yuuji- selfishness and Sukuna- selflessness. And oh, if only these two turned to each other ARGHH

These two that I've put as examples were changed by Yuuji and despite being strong, they were willing to do something that is so opposite to their nature- die for others. Die protecting the weak instead of fighting to appease their egos and again funnily, it is what's happening to Sukuna even if he refuses to acknowledge it. Each step that he takes raises Yuuji up, shows off his strength even if he calls him boring. Each step that Yuuji takes further lessens Sukuna's importance as the King of Curses because he makes him behave like a human even if he discarded his humanity.

Yet both would never acknowledge that. Both would never acknowledge that they're the making and the breaking of one another.

Everyone's fighting to get Sukuna's approval and each of these characters are, in fact, quite strong yet they always die when facing him. Yuuji, on the other hand, doesn't fight his opponents as a way of measuring their strength but instead bares his heart out which in turn leads to his opponents trying to save him, and even if they're quite strong, they always end up dying to protect him.

And don't even get me started on the way they unknowingly care for each other even if they hurt one another.

Sukuna keeps taking people Yuuji is baring his heart out because the truth was they'll never understand him nor his selflessness but would rather weaponize it against him and lead him to death. Megumi is a brilliant example of that because after all, didn't Megumi tell him what he needed to hear instead of fighting him only to bring him out, surpress Sukuna, and leave him to die? Didn't he leave him alone to fight the Finger Bearer? Someone like Yuuji who barely even knows what curses are and couldn't even properly grasp cursed energy? This is why Sukuna rightfully asks him "Back then... why did you run away?" and why he sees him as a perfect vessel.

And then there's Yuuji who's incredibly indifferent to him despite actively sheltering and coddling humans who are more curses than they are humans at the end of the day. Choso, Higuruma, Gojo, name it. All of these characters, despite wearing human faces, are in fact everything that quite literally make a curse until Yuuji swooped in and made them more human, made them more selfless. Made them acknowledge the fact that they care for others.

And yet, when faced with each other, all of what makes them them, it all disappears. The way they show love to others, they don't to each other. Quite literally with them, it is-

You coddle everyone who's actively hurting you but condemn me. You show off your humanity to everyone but me. You want to kill me but want to save them.

You kill everyone except me. You continually praise everyone except me. You want to save me but you kill them.

It's curious really how perfectly built upon they are as opposites and how much they don't want to give to each other what the other one wants so desperately. Brings tears to my eyes, tbh.

[macawritesupdates]

Hello! I still have more to say on the latest chapter of Historically Inaccurate. Sukuna trying to teach the reverse curse technique was great but I wonder how he feels about the whole stuck in Yuuji's body in the future situation the comment he made about not teaching his cursed technique because Yuuji might use it against him was a bit of an emotional blow. He's aware that they're enemies. I wonder what that's like. (Side note I'm a trained chef and dear God I would kill for Sukuna's cursed technique Ok do you know how much time it would save me if I could just wave my hand and instantly cut up all my ingredients. I used to joke that half my day was just spent cutting onions and carrots but it was only barely a joke ok, and that's just the veg I also had to cut up meat and herbs and the like. I could make ten times the number of recipes if I didn't have to spend time cutting.) Ahh, but the ever growing concern as Yuuji tried but just couldn't get it hurt so bad. Sukuna's back story was so painful. No wonder he hates seeing Yuuji slowly wasting away. Again, I have to wonder how future Sukuna is handling this. That man is going to be completely insane by the time they get back to the future, and I can't even blame him tbh. I went back to reread some of the interactions between future Sukuna and Yuuji and oh god I feel so bad for him oddly enough even though it hurts those are some of my favorite scenes in the whole fic getting to see him slowly growing more attached to Yuuji is great. I liked all the little moments where you can tell he's trying like when Yuuji gets back from lunch with Megumi and Sukuna asks Him what he's going to do to make him understand his mental state, he's trying to reach out he's just bad at it. Or when Yuuji has His panic attack after his talk with Maki and Sukuna drags him into the domain, I think that he was trying to draw Yuuji into a conversation with that little insult. Ahhh he's trying to reach out but Yuuji is too hurt and burnt out to reach back so his attempts fall flat or worse cause Yuuji to lash out hurting both of them in the process. Anyway back to the current chapter it seems like Yuuji has had a breakthrough with realizing that the Sukunas are the same person just one has so much more trauma, yayy. I mean he seems uncomfortable with it but at least he sees it now that's progress. Sukuna telling Yuuji he should take his future Self to see the fireworks was nice love the idea of Sukuna wingmanning for Sukuna. Honestly I think it'd be reasonable for Sukuna to fight Sukuna but he's got to put some of that self loathing aside because the only way for this story to end happily as far as I can see is for Yuuji and future Sukuna to make it work. That might be a little hard if past Sukuna spends his whole time in the future punching himself I certainly hope he gets a few (verbal) blows in but after that I hope he goes back to wingmanning. (1)

As someone who worked part-time as a prep chef for a number of years...being able to slice quickly would have been beautiful and saved me hours of chopping an ungodly amount of produce for lunch prep 83 (especially onions. Hate onions. My eyes BURN)

And yeah, I make a lot of different Sukuna backstories as I can image it going all sorts of different ways and I doubt we are going to get concrete answers lol This one seemed fitting for this fic!

Sukuna in the past sees present Sukuna as ...just himself. Like going "Oh god, that's me!" and realizing this is the trauma that awaits and desperately wanting to do damage control ; w ; why he makes the comment about "spoiling the story" because he sees where it is going...

Will see if they can manage to get it to work!

[chimera-shadow-garden]

I wanted to talk about this scene, because it really hit me when I read it, even though it took ages in my head to articulate why it resonated so much. 

Megumi approaches Yuuji to bring him back “home” at a time, when Yuuji (understandably) going through a crisis whether he deserves to live after all. Instead of saving people, he lost control to Sukuna, who used his body to kill many. Who’s to say it won’t happen again. 

So he tells Megumi not to act like it’s not a big deal and not to sweep it under the rug. It ties back to the moment at the end of the Death Painting Arc, when both Yuuji and Megumi realizes separately all the bad things they set in motion with Yuuji consuming Sukuna’s finger, but they decide to keep these things to themselves, as an attempt to protect each other’s feelings. Because Megumi knows Yuuji wouldn’t take well realizing that by choosing to save everyone, things were set in motion whereby others got hurt and killed. While Yuuji knows that Megumi feels responsible for the acts of those he saves. This leads to them being divided in the Shibuya arc.

But this time Megumi’s response is different. He doesn’t pretend that nothing happened, he doesn’t say like others that Yuuji is not at fault - instead he stands with him. If it’s Yuuji’s fault then it’s also Megumi’s fault. It’s both their fault. They both decided to save each other and those decisions together with everyone else’s decision got them to where they are now. If Yuuji gives up alone, Megumi remains trapped alone in that guilt.

But from Yuuji’s perspective, as long as his decision to save people leads to negative consequences, it will also keep affecting Megumi, precisely because  Megumi feels responsible for the people he saves. It’s the perfect recipe of a vicious circle of self-hatred, where they both try to protect each other from themselves and their own guilts by distance or self-destruction, leaving their friendship fragmented and the person left behind inevitably carrying the guilt. 

This is why it’s so important that Megumi asks Yuuji to start by saving him. It cuts that downward spiral.

Because what is he really saying? He tells Yuuji to continue to be who he is, to be the guy Megumi felt so strongly about saving.  Even if right now things look like it was the bad decision - it is not over yet. Jujutsu sorcery is a marathon. Yuuji dying now or punishing himself doesn’t help Megumi, only Yuuji living and proving his worth can save Megumi as well. The fault lies with both of them, so the solution must too.  Megumi puts his faith into Yuuji and asks him to prove why his faith is right. And in return, Yuuji can rely not on his own thoughts of whether he’s worthy of living, but on Megumi’s judgement. The threat of trust (for fellow Haikyuu!! fans)

And I see this already as a big difference from how things went down with Gojo and Geto - who after the incident with Toji end up spending time apart trying to both get strong on their own.  Being alone, locked in his thoughts plays a huge part in Geto’s unravelling and Gojo ending up losing his only friend.

Megumi though chooses differently. Not only does he approach Yuuji and beg for his help, he comes to him with a request about Tsumiki. Megumi’s original sin and something that’s been heavy on his conscience, something incredibly personal that he’s had a hard time to talk about with Yuuji and Nobara.

Megumi realized by now that Yuuji consuming Sukuna’s finger set in motion events that led to Tsumiki’s unwilling participation in the culling game. His choice to save Yuuji, Yuuji’s choice to save him means a death-sentence for his sister whom he wants to desperately save and apologize to. It shows that he doesn’t take the lives affected by their choice lightly, he has a personal skin in this.

Toji’s intervention all those years ago is said to be cataclysmic event that destroyed everyone’s destinies who were touched by it. It was an event driven by pride. The Zen’in family’s pride that made Toji feel worthless, Toji’s pride to somehow rise above not having the right gifts, Gojo’s pride at becoming the strongest, Geto’s pride in not asking for help. 

Yuuji incarnating Sukuna is another cataclysmic event that destroyed many destinies, including Tsumiki’s. But there is a difference, because it’s driven by something incredibly personal - that friendship, connection and love that tie Yuuji and Megumi together instinctively. For different reasons, but they want to save each other and keep saving each other. 

For a while, they tried the old way of getting stronger individually, of trying to shelter each other from their respective guilts. 

But here, Megumi chooses to leave pride behind. He extends his hand in a way that Yuuji can’t refuse. He asks to be saved so Yuuji can be saved, and so they can save Tsumiki together. 

Can they do it? It’s not sure, because they live in a world that’s profoundly unfair and unpredictable. They are not perfect like heroes. Holding themselves to impossible standards in a world where consequences are so unpredictable is futile.

All they can do is to keep walking the path as Jujutsu sorcerers faithful to their ideals and loyal to each other and see where it leads. 

[macawritesupdates]

I loved the new chapter of MoL it was so good I would have commented sooner but I bought a bunch of new plants yesterday but it was way to hot to get them in the ground so I decided to wait until today so I could work in the early morning before the sun got hot enough to bake me. I saw your chapter and desperately wanted to throw those plans out the window so I could sit down and read it all in one sitting right away, but alas, it was time sensitive that damn summer sun really is lethal 😔 ah the plight of a gardener. At least I had a super fun reward waiting for me when I got done. And what a reward it was! I loved yuuji's internal strife as he tried to deal with his morals and the knowledge that his sweet childhood best friend grew up to be someone who does so many awful things. Yuuji, it's not your fault baby you are only responsible for your own actions, not his... ah man, that's a lesson cannon yuuji also needs to learn huh. I am so glad he met choso I can't tell you how often I desperately want characters to just leave abusive relationships in fiction like baby get out of there yes he loves you and you love him back but his love bears rotten fruits. He's controlling and keeps you isolated and will weaponise any fear or guilt you feel against you. It is not a betrayal to leave him because he broke trust he betrayed you first by keeping you like a pet and slowly smothering the light in your soul. But usually, it's impossible to leave a relationship like that without help, especially when he controls the finances and your entire social circle. So I'm glad yuuji met choso, who offered to take him away. It still hurts though especially when I go read the yuuji files and see a version of their relationship that works because sukuna is actually willing to make compromises and doesn't try to steal yuuji's autonomy in an attempt to keep him chained. It's not easy for him, but the fact that he puts in that effort means he gets to be way happier than mol sukuna. God, I know that this is the angst fic, so we're not getting happy, but some part of me is still crying out to mol sukuna to change his ways. Just try. I know the world is awful, but you can learn to live in it side by side with him. I keep thinking of like exotic birds when they are kept in small cages without their social and enrichment needs met, look at how they start to wither sukuna, look how they stop eating and start to pull out their own feathers. That's what you've been doing to yuuji to the person you love best in all the world. He needs to be able to fly free. I know you love him and want to keep him, but you let your fear of losing him drive you to hold him too tight and now something beautiful has shattered right in your hands. If you had just trusted him he would have flown free and been happy, and always flown back to you. But you held on too tight and now he needs to flee. Ugh ouch 😫. Now I'm really worried about how their eventual reunion will go because that chapter count looks so threatening to me right now. Beautiful work thanks now I've got to go re read the yuuji files to recover. Maybe even lessons their relationship there is also so so good those silly boys pretending to be in deep hate even as they work to take such good care of each other and build a life together ❤️.

I understand the gardener's plight as I too garden u_u all my stuff is planting, now I'm just weeding, watering, and working on fixing my deck now 83 The outside work never ends!

But glad you enjoyed the chapter <3 even if this story is getting more heartbreaking by the chapter, especially next chapter where things are going to be set for what is to come ; w ; I've actually mapped out this story until the end, now just a matter of writing it all out! But I need to write some lighter things myself to recover XD The next Yuuji Files is coming up as is the last two chapters of Well Executed Failure!