#i mean i may go hiking alone at some point but you can guarantee i will make sure to stay on-trail and let people know where i'm going

[quaranmine]

once last week my mom was retelling me some story she heard about a guy who went missing in the wilderness and how hard it was to find him alive because he hadn't told anyone where he went, so they were trying to even figure out what state he went to let alone trail, and she was like, "his mother must have been so worried. NEVER do that to me, you understand???"

and i was like yes mom. in fact i spent an entire year of my life writing a novel-length story about a guy who went missing while hiking alone so you can be fairly sure i won't do that, actually

and she was like oh. true

[let-it-raines]

your wonder under summer skies (14/18)

Summer in Storybrooke, Maine means one thing for its residents: tourist season. This year, for Emma Swan and Killian Jones, it means relationships ending and friendships changing all the while they attempt to figure out just what their relationship is. It’s somewhere straddling the line between friends and lovers, and there’s no guarantee of a soft landing if they fall into new territory.

Rating: Mature

ao3: beginning | current

tumblr:  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 

-/-

This place is decidedly more cabin in the woods than Killian was expecting. Well, if the cabin in the woods was a bloody large cabin made for groups of people in Maine looking for a weekend away from their regular lives. When he looked at the link Anna sent him when they were planning this trip, he didn’t look past the specifics of price and how many bedrooms there were.

So when he pulled up and saw the two-story cabin with its wraparound porch and large, floor-to-ceiling windows nestled near a lake, he was a little taken aback. Mostly, though, he doesn’t understand how the owners of this place decided to make every wall wood paneling and for each damn piece of furniture to be made out of a log or pine or something that looks like it’ll put a splinter in his ass when he sits down.

Hell, he’s pretty sure that he’s going to turn the corner and there’s going to be animal heads hanging from the walls.

At least there’s sunshine and clear water and all of the food and alcohol that a man could ask for.

Or, well, that could be asked for by a joint bachelor and bachelorette party that Elsa and Liam wanted, the both of them insisting that they needed a weekend away and that it should be nothing like the beach…so naturally they’re spending it on a lake.

Anna seemed to think it was all a brilliant idea, and since she is so keen on planning things, he figured he’d let her do it instead of getting into arguments over it. Or, well, he might have been distracted when she called to talk about the trip because Emma was on her knees in front of him, and he wasn’t paying attention to anything other than the feel of her.

“Why do I feel like every time I turn a corner, a deer’s antlers or something are going to poke me in the eye?”

Killian chuckles and turns to Emma next to him. She’s got a large duffle bag hanging over her shoulder, and he doesn’t know what she packed, but it must be all of the contents of her closet.

“Because you probably will.”

“Okay,” Anna shouts as everyone keeps walking through the front door, chatting and dragging in suitcases and looking around, “I have had all of the bedrooms labeled. Elsa and Liam get the master, obviously. Mary Margaret and David have bedroom one on the first floor, and Kris and I will take bedroom two, which shares that bathroom. Will and Belle, bedroom three, which is at the end of the hall just down that way. Ariel and Eric, you have bedroom four, which is right at the top of the stairs and will share a bathroom with Ruby and Mulan’s room, which is bedroom five. The final room is, like, basically the attic. Emma and Killian, you guys get that one. It may or may not be the kids’ room, so don’t be surprised if there are bunk beds up there.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Killian mutters. “Bunk beds? We’re twenty-eight. We don’t get our own regular beds?”

“Do any of the couples here want to give up their private rooms with big beds to go sleep in the attic in bunk beds so that Killian can have a queen mattress?” “For fuck’s sake,” Killian laughs, rolling his eyes at Anna, “the beds are fine. I simply wasn’t aware Emma and I were going to be punished for not having significant others.”

“Yeah,” Emma joins in, “we should get compensated in, like, first choice of food tonight.” “I think Elsa and I get that,” Liam says. “You two will be fine. I’m sure the beds will be comfortable, but Emma, lass, as someone who lives with Killian, you might want earplugs. He snores.”

“Liar.”

Liam shrugs, bright smile on his face. “Have some mercy on the poor girl, Killian. Try not to be too loud.”

Killian opens his mouth to keep protesting, but then he snaps it shut. There’s no point. He doesn’t snore, and Emma knows that. Why should he care if everyone else thinks he snores? He’s sure that half of the people in this room do anyways.

This is Liam’s weekend.

If he reminds himself that enough, maybe he won’t try to pick at everything Liam says and does, and they can all have a good time like they’re supposed to.

Even if he does have to sleep in a damn bunk bed.

Emma elbows his side. “I have ear plugs, but that was mostly because I was scared I’d have to sleep next to David and Mary Margaret.”

“Please don’t put that image in my head.”

“We’re in a cabin full of couples, KJ. How is the image not in your head?”

Killian groans and tilts his head back, and Emma laughs, nudging him again before adjusting her bag on her shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go put our stuff up. My legs are stiff from the drive, and I’m ready to go hiking.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Anna squeals, “I have sunscreen and bug spray for everyone who forgot it. I’ll leave it in the kitchen. Let’s all meet up in half an hour, okay?”

“Anna is…very organized,” Emma sighs as everyone begins walking in different directions looking for their bedrooms. “I feel like she’s a very intense version of Mary Margaret.” “That’s exactly who she is,” Elsa laughs, walking next to Emma up the stairs, which leads them to a hallway with more wood paneling and more large, paneled windows. There are no animal heads yet, though, so Killian would count that as a win. “I think she wants everything to be so perfect for me that she’s taking it overboard. Plus, she’s used to working with all of these extravagant people, so this is kind of out of her wheelhouse. You’re just lucky my cousins couldn’t come this weekend, because that would make it even worse.”

“She’s doing a great job. With this and the wedding. I mean, the wood paneling here is a little much, but this is beautiful.” “Hey, I could have helped plan this,” Killian protests.

Liam, Elsa, and Emma all laugh at him.

“What?”

“If I was a betting man, I’d say the only thing you planned was the food and the alcohol.”

“And to that,” Killian laughs, “I’d say you were right. If I had gotten my say, I would have found a place with one more bedroom so that Emma and I weren’t sleeping in bunk beds while everyone else got normal rooms.”

“I mean, technically,” Elsa says, “I think there’s another bed in David and Mary Margaret’s room, but I think you two might be safer upstairs.”

They get to the end of the hallway where the master bedroom is, and Elsa and Liam tell them that they’ll see them in a few minutes before walking inside while he and Emma turn to find the spiral staircase that leads up to the attic. It’s beautiful, but it’s not exactly convenient when carrying luggage, but he and Emma manage to get their stuff upstairs without any kind of disaster.

“Those stairs would be horrible if you’re drunk. I feel dizzy just getting up here.”

“Aye,” he sighs, dropping his bag and looking around the room.

It’s small, just a set of chairs, a dresser with a television, and then, indeed, a set of bunk beds covered in red plaid bedding. In the center of the room is a round window, and when Killian looks out it, he has a direct view of the lake and all of the surrounding hills and trees.

He imagines none of the other rooms have a view like that.

“Wow,” Emma whistles, “a view like that will almost make you think the lake is better than the beach.”

“Never,” he laughs, looking at her to his side. “I like my salt water and my sand too much to ever give it up, but it is stunning.”

“I can’t wait to get to explore it. It’s so damn nice not to be working this weekend. I haven’t had an actual, multiple-day break in months, and I’m taking full advantage of it.”

Killian nods as he keeps looking out the window. He sees two people walk out onto the deck, and he believes it’s Ruby and Mulan. It’s hard to tell from here, but then one of them walks a little further out and he recognizes Ruby’s red shirt. They must be ready to go already. He needs to change into a different pair of shoes.

Turning around, Killian moves to grab his bag only to see the last seconds of Emma pulling down a sports bra. She’s in nothing but a pair of black shorts and a white sports bra, and dammit if she doesn’t drive him mad like this.

He’s grown to know the curves of her body more intimately than he ever thought he would, and that’s how he knows that she’s been running more this summer and that places where she was once soft are the slightest bit more firm and how he knows the way her skin has changed from a creamy white to a shade or two darker, all of her freckles showing up more and more.

It’s how he knows that if that’s all she’s wearing today, he’s going to struggle holding it together in front of all of their friends.

He doesn’t know what to do when it comes to Emma any longer.

He wants her all the damn time, but his traitorous mind keeps telling him that he wants her in a way that he hasn’t had her: where there are no rules or implications or anything even closely relating to the friends with benefits situation they’ve got going on.

Where Killian can get it out of his mind that Emma kisses him in greeting now, how she intertwines their fingers, how she finds a way to touch him even when they’re not alone. It’s subconscious, he thinks. She’s not doing it on purpose, not seeking him out like she would a boyfriend, but it’s still happening.

(It matters not he is also guilty of doing the same things.)

It’s messing with his mind, with his heart, with everything.

And all he knows is that he feels like he’s betraying her because what Killian feels for Emma is far more than friendship, and he has no idea how to deal with that without mucking it up.

Especially because he can’t seem to stop being with her.

Their first rule was to keep the friendship at the center of everything, to make sure that neither of them messed it up, and the more time that passes, the more time that he thinks he’s barreling them toward disaster.

But he can’t stop.

“You gonna just keep staring at me like that?” Emma teases as she ties a jacket around her hips.

“I don’t believe I was staring.”

She chuckles and saunters toward him until she’s standing toe to toe with him. Killian glances away from her face, but that only leads his gaze toward the top of her breasts and the freckle that seems to be calling him.

Not now, not now, not now.

“Oh, you definitely were.” Emma presses up on her toes and runs her lips across his jaw. God, this is another one of the things about her that drives him mad, and he has to focus all of his attention on his breathing to keep himself from becoming too aroused. “Later,” she whispers. “I really do want to go on this hike, and I’m not going to let you distract me, Jones.” “I thought you were the one distracting me.”

“Eh, it goes both ways.”

And then she’s pulling away with this bright, kind smile on her face, and he has no idea how she can go from seductive to friendly all within the span of five minutes.

“See you downstairs. I need to get Ruby to braid my hair, so I’m going to go ahead and go.”

“She’s out on the deck with Mulan.”

Emma nods, grabs her phone, and then walks out the door.

This weekend is going to be bloody torturous.

-/-

If Killian had to guess, he would say that David and Liam have gotten them lost somewhere in the middle of the woods despite the fact that they’re all following a trail.

Or, well, supposed to be following a trail.

At one point, Anna and Elsa got distracted by this flower bush, and once they veered off the path to look at it, wondering if they could get Elsa’s florist to change her bouquet arrangement, they all started veering on and off the path, especially since there are twelve of them out here on a trail that really only allows two people to walk side by side.

If someone had brought alcohol on the hike, he imagines at least half the group would be lying dead in a ditch by now.

Honestly, Will usually has a flask on him, but as far as Killian knows, he hasn’t pulled it out yet.

Damn.

Killian ignores David and Liam arguing and keeps looking ahead. Emma and Mary Margaret are directly in front of him, now leading the group, and he tries to focus on the ground instead of the way Emma’s ass is nearly on display from the way her shorts are riding up. She hasn’t paid him much attention since they started the hike, and he’s never been so thankful to be left alone, if only for a little while.

He hasn’t been able to run all week, and this is exactly what he needed, even if the quietness of nature is cancelled out by everyone talking.

“I’m not kidding,” Ruby chuckles. “It’s awful. I mean, I get it, these are teenagers who are getting away from their parents for a little while, but do they have to make out in booths that I have to clean? There are so many places they could go, places where I don’t have to look at them while I’m trying to do my job.”

“We’ve made out in those booths.”

“That’s different, and you know it.” “Why? Because you’re the one who is getting a little action?”

“Exactly.”

“Granny’s is a fucking popular make out spot,” Will adds in. “There’s the hallway that connects to the B and B, which has seen more action than Killian has all summer.”

“Oi,” Killian scoffs, turning around to stare Will down, “mind your own bloody business.”

“Sorry, mate. I couldn’t resist.”

“You know who I keep seeing there?” Will continues. “Neal Cassidy. I know he’s dating Tamara, but damn, you’d think they could go to one of their places every once in awhile.”

Killian cringes, nearly faltering in his step, and he finally looks up to Emma, who is simply continuing to walk.

Good. That’s good.

She told him that she was over Neal, that she’s letting it go, but you don’t love someone for that long and have them break your heart and not be affected when someone is talking about them.

“Will, shut up,” Belle hisses.

“Why do I need to – oh fuck,” he mutters. “I’m sorry, Emma. Please ignore me and that bloody wanker.”

“It’s fine,” Emma shouts back, not turning around. “Neal has nothing to do with me anymore. He can do what he wants as long as I don’t have to look at him while I’m eating my onion rings.”

“I’d never make you do that,” Ruby tells her. “I’ll kick him out.”

“Can you even do that?”

“Eh, I can try.”

“Look,” David interrupts, and they all stop to stare where he’s pointing. “There’s that damn split tree. That’s where we were supposed to be going.”

“How do you even know that?” Liam grumbles.

“Because I noticed it on the way up. We’ve been here before, so it we turn that way, it should take us back to the house.”

“Can’t we use our phones to check where we are?” Killian asks only to have both Liam and David glare at him. “Okay, okay,” he backtracks, holding his hands up, “I guess we’re not using technology to make our lives easier.”

By the time they’re back at the house, Killian’s skin has been kissed by the sun, his feet ache, and his stomach is growling with hunger. He could really go for a nap, but Kris offers to cook burgers for everyone down by the lake, so everyone grabs their swimsuits and some drinks and heads down to where the grill is.

Killian settles into one of the lounge chairs that’s set up down there, a bottle of water in hand, and leans back, wondering if napping outside would be possible, but then Liam starts blaring music over some speakers and he knows the nap is never going to happen.

“Hey,” Emma says as she plops down in the chair next to him, “why do you look like you’re about to fall asleep?”

“Because I desperately want to.”

“How are you tired?”

“Because, unlike someone, I drove us up here and could not nap in the car.”

Emma shrugs and curls her legs up in the chair before taking a long sip of her water.  “You make a good point, KJ. Do you think I’d get my hand slapped away if I went and got the bag of barbecue chips off the table before all the other food was ready?”

“Depends on if the picnic table guardian is looking over it or not.” Emma laughs and leans forward, looking over at the table. “David seems to be occupied staring at the grill being all macho man with Kris. I’ll be right back.”

And then she’s jogging over to the table, slowing down right before she gets there, and then grabbing the big bag of barbecue crisps before springing back over to him and sitting back down in her seat, dropping the crisps between them. David looks over at them, and Killian swears that he sees his eyes narrow, like he knows Emma took the crisps off the table.

“Sneaky, love.”

“I try. I don’t know why he does that at any event. It’s like he gets some weird high off of making sure no one gets too food, but the worst part is definitely the fact that he watches to see if people throw any uneaten food away.”

“It is rather odd, isn’t it?”

“It’s the worst is what it is.”

She leans over between them and opens the bag, grabbing a crisp and taking what he swears is the loudest bite in existence. David is likely about to look over at them and give them hell for it. The man is going to make a great father one day.

If only because he can monitor food better than anyone else in existence.

Killian leans back in his chair and settles down into it, closing his eyes. He stretches out his arm, his hand laying against the arm of the chair, and after a few moments of relative silence, he feels Emma’s fingers tracing over his forearm in soothing patterns that have a shiver running down his spin and settling in his stomach.

It feels so natural for her to do this, for him to let her do this, and he should stop it.

But he can’t, not now.

Soon. He’ll figure it out.

Soon.

“I’ve always liked this tattoo the best.”

“Hmm?”

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” She traces the words inked into his skin as she says them out loud. “I don’t know. I just feel like it’s so fitting to have them mixed in with your scars.”

Killian fights with himself to keep his eyes closed, to keep himself from looking into Emma’s eyes. Not a lot of people get such unfiltered access to his scars, and yet here she is in the open tracing them and talking about them and yet again making him feel like maybe they’re not too bad.

“I mean,” she continues, “I like all of your tattoos. They always make me want to get more than my buttercup, but I really like this one.”

“Aye,” he sighs, deciding that just for today, he can let everything be. This is a good moment, and he’s not going to let his mind ruin it. Instead he’ll let Emma run her fingers over his hand and let her hold onto him for a few moments. “I am fond of that one as well. I am also fond of yours, though it is rather small.”

“What? Do you want me to get a giant one?”

“You should get one that covers your entire back.” “Shut up,” Emma laughs, digging her nails into him. “I am obviously not doing that. I don’t know what I’ll do, or if I ever will. I think I’ll just stick to liking yours.”

“I like that plan. Do you think if I eat a crisp that David will hear it?”

“He hasn’t noticed me yet.” “Ah, but you have better luck than me.” “Guess you’ll have to try your luck to see.”

Killian slowly opens one eye, then the next, before moving his arm away to reach into the bag. He takes one bite, eyeing David who still has his back turned, before eating a few more. He thinks that maybe he’ll get away with it until David turns around.

“Jones, put the damn chips back on the table before I burn your food.”

“Sorry,” Emma says to him, shrugging, but he can tell that she’s not sorry at all.

“I think I’ll survive, love.”

When the food is finished cooking, everyone settles around tables and in chairs, eating and drinking and laughing. And it’s nice, a nicer time than Killian has had in awhile if he’s honest with himself. But then the night falls, crickets finding their places in the surrounding trees and a breeze wafting through the campground, causing a chill to travel down his spine as his skin pebbles with goosebumps.

There is a fire going, though, and plenty of alcohol being passed around to warm him, but really, the alcohol might not be the best idea right now, especially since Mary Margaret and Ruby tend to like to play games when they’re halfway to drunk.

Mary Margaret said something about how they needed to play a shower game. It was tradition, but Elsa and Liam hadn’t wanted that. Then Ruby stood up from the bench she was sitting on and declared that they would play Truth or Dare like the grown adults they are. They love their games, though, and, well, Ruby does know how to turn the game into something that is rather more adult than what he played when he was a lad. This is nothing new. They tend to do this at every party they have, but he never knows if it’s going to be tame or not.

So far Elsa has had to share some intimate details about the first time she slept with Liam, which Killian truly did not need to hear about, Liam has chugged down half a bottle of ketchup, Will has jumped into the lake, Mary Margaret has had to answer what the one thing she’d change about David would be, which resulted in a hushed argument, and Ruby has run to the neighboring house and asked them for condoms.

She came back with an entire box.

So, now it’s Ruby scanning the semi-circle they’re sitting in looking for her next victim, because, really, of all the people here, the last person he’d want to have pick out whatever form of torture this is would be Ruby Lucas.

His one glass of rum has not numbed him enough for this.

“Emma,” Ruby finally says, and Killian swears he hears half the group let out sighs of relief.

“I hate you,” Emma mutters, flipping Ruby off.

“Oh, no you don’t. You love me, and I’m going to be really nice to you by telling you that if you pick ‘truth,’ I’m going to ask you about the guy who gave you that hickey last week.”

Killian’s cheeks immediately heat, and he swallows, pushing the thought down. He hadn’t meant to do that. It had been an accident because they are not teenagers and don’t usually leave marks, and he didn’t even know it happened until Emma had sent him a picture the next day.

Shit.

At least Emma’s a damn good liar since it’s not like anyone is actually forcing them to do this.

It’s the spirit of it all.

“Dare, you asshole.”

There are a few whistles from around the group, and Killian already knows there are going to be a few follow-up questions to Ruby’s words later.

“I dare you to…kiss Jones. Killian, not Liam. And none of that on the cheek shit. You two have so much chemistry, and I need to see it. I feel like everyone here needs to see it.”

“Oh my God,” he hears Emma murmur next to him at the same time that he has that exact thought. The whistles increase, some hollering too, and he swears that everyone here but he, Emma, and David are drunk off their asses. “Ruby, no. Pick something else. Like, something normal that non-tipsy you would pick.” “You chose ‘dare.’”

“Because you were going to ask me something I didn’t want to talk about. I don’t want to kiss Killian.” She turns back to him and winces. “No offense.”

“None taken,” he mumbles, knowing she’s trying to save face.

“Why not? He’s super hot. I mean, I know you think he’s hot. You’ve said it before, and you guys kind of have that ‘will they, won’t they’ thing going on, which I have been saying all summer. We actually have all talked about getting a betting pool as to when you’ll finally get together, especially since you and the dumbass are no longer a thing. So, come on, it won’t be that bad. You’ve got to uphold the integrity of truth or dare.”

Emma’s lips part, and Killian knows she has a retort on her tongue. She always does.

But then she’s turning and leaning over her chair until she’s grabbing the collar of his t-shirt and pulling his mouth to hers.

Fuck.

Her lips press into his, soft and warm as they always are, but it takes him a minute to fully close his eyes and appreciate how she feels against him. Eyes are on them, whistles ringing out around the group, and Killian swears he sees flashes of camera lights as Emma sucks on his bottom lip and his hands thread into her hair, pulling her closer.

And for one, miniscule second, he forgets about the people around him and the warring thoughts he’s been fighting for weeks now, and he lets himself revel in how damn good it feels to kiss Emma Swan.

But then it’s over.

They part, gasping for breath, and Killian’s grip tightens on the back of Emma’s head as her forehead rests warmly against his.

Strangely, all he can focus on is the fact that she smells like sunscreen.

“Well, hot damn,” Ruby sighs, and Killian finally drops his hand from Emma’s hair, “I feel like I need a glass of water now. Anyone else?”

There’s a murmur of voices, but Killian ignores them, focusing on the way Emma is blinking at him with a smirk painted on her lips. “That wasn’t too bad, was it?” “No, that wasn’t bad at all.”

“Emma, it’s your turn,” Ruby reminds her. “Feel free to do your worst to me.”

“Trust me, I plan to.”

In the blink of an eye, things go back to normal. The attention is back on the game, not on him, not on Emma, and no one says anything else about the kiss.

Apparently everyone cares about it a lot less than he thought they would.

But it was all part of a game. It wasn’t real.

None of it has been.

And he has no idea how much longer he’s going to be okay with that. He also has no idea how he could make any of it real, even if Emma wanted that, because he’s got no fucking clue how to do this.

His brain doesn’t seem to be conjuring up any ideas either.

Shit.

Eventually, the game dies down, everyone quieting and forming their own circles and conversations, and while Killian tries to stay for a little while, when the opportunity to sneak out and go to bed presents itself, he takes it.

-/-

-/-

tag list: @qualitycoffeethings​ @mrtinski​ @klynn-stormz​ @scarletslippers​ @jonirobinson64​ @snowbellewells​ @therealstartraveller776​ @thejollyroger-writer​ @sherifemma​ @galadriel26​ @galaxyzxstark​ @idristardis​ @karenfrommisthaven​ @teamhook​ @spartanguard​ @searchingwardrobes​ @jamif​ @shireness-says​ @ultimiflos​ @nikkiemms​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @onepunintendid​ @bluewildcatfanatic​ @superchocovian​ @killianswannn​ @carpedzem​ @captainkillianswanjones​ @mayquita​ @mariakov81​ @jennjenn615​ @onceuponaprincessworld​ @a-faekindagirl​ @scientificapricot​ @xellewoods​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @stahlop​ @kmomof4​ @tiganasummertree​ @singersdd​ @tornadoamy​ @cluttermind​ @lfh1226-linda​ @andiirivera​ @elizabeethan​ @captain-emmajones​ @csalltheway​ @itsfabianadocarmo​

[hangryandlazy]

africa jul 19

wow lol it’s taken me 2 years to actually put this post together. a LOT has changed since then and it makes me immensely happy to recognize how lucky we were that we’d had 2 insane years of travelling right before the pandemic hit. but this post is not to dwell on that, so let’s get on with it!!

this was our amazing 2019 africa trip~

jun 30, 19 ••• we make our way from hong kong to the netherlands on klm airlines. i distinctly remember how impressed i was with the quality of service and the comfort of the 12ish hour flight. after around 16 hours of commute, we just want to stay in and chill, so we order room service and call it a night early. i recall wearing a fun t-shirt that read, “not to be rude, but shut the fuck up” which i personally find hilarious and endearing, but which made the guy at the front desk quite uncomfortable. lollll oops!

jul 1, 19 ••• yay! we had a full day alone in amsterdam. we (i) decided to walk from the hotel to the town center, because it’s fun experience new cities by exploring them on foot!! why not? you come across many things that you just couldn’t have planned to find.

look how beautiful the canals in amsterdam are! anywhere you turn, it’s picturesque.

we had lunch at wagamama because i saw that the avant garde vegan, gaz oakley, had done a collaboration with them at some point, so there are some guaranteed vegan options. we then walk around the bloemenmarkt and find our way to the cannabis college, which had 2 verdampers for rent! yesssss! i was so happy. 

we explored and walked around more, then stopped by a coffee shop to smoke a bit more. there was a lovely vegan cafe right next door, which i’d been eyeing when we went in to smoke, so we had a top up on coffee and matcha there. we saw a cute frenchie across the road and missed the dogs so...

we had dinner at this place called cafe frijdag (which means Friday!) which was delicious! so happy that amsterdam had vegan options for me

jul 2, 19 ••• we got up bright and early to meet my parents for breakfast and we go to the airport to catch our flight to kigali. about 10 hours later, we were buying sim cards at the kigali airport. we then checked in to the radisson for the night, and it was feeling very surreal to be in africa. i remember feeling anxious.

jul 3, 19 ••• today started on a somber note. we went to the kigali genocide memorial. i cried a lot, especially at the exhibit with the photographs of only a fraction of the victims during that time.

then we drove at turtle speed to our next hotel, which was a loooong long way away. we arrived at the lake kivu serena hotel in time for a very late lunch. the cuisine here consists of rice, tortilla-like wraps and papadum-esque crispy rolls.

this fruit tastes disgusting... it looks like a tomato but isn’t sweet at all. i only remember spitting it out, trying another piece from another plate, and still hating it.

thankfully everyone wanted to relax and take it easy, so we ordered in for dinner and spent the rest of the night chilling.

jul 4, 19 ••• we drove out to see the border between rwanda and the democratic republic of congo. we were told to be very careful about taking photos of the police officers there, so we were. it felt strange to take photos of the border, i’m clearly very ignorant of the relations and history. it was a very busy juncture, with a sea of people crossing this way and that, lots of cars bumbling about and a lot of fruit, as i recall. hahah.

we then drove out to see a makeshift hot spring. we were asked if we wanted to take a dip, but none of us wanted to..... felt bad saying no, but really not worth it, sorry.

https://vimeo.com/568059672  (okay, i’m unable to embed more videos so links will have to do until i figure out something better...)

we took a boat ride along the lake, but there wasn’t that much to see around there, it was pretty dirty and murky... reminded me of the hong kong harbor, with trash floating around. it was also freezing, so i wasn’t having any fun at all.

we went to the gym and worked out a little bit because there was a lot of time to kill in between returning to hotel and our private pre-planned bbq dinner on the beach. we were lucky enough to enjoy traditional rwandan dancing which was absolutely gorgeous.

jul 5, 19 ••• we spent most of our morning in the car, having crossed the border to the republic of uganda. we stopped by a cute cafe along the way for lunch, but it was a grueling 4-5 hour car ride to mahogany springs, which was our hotel for the gorilla trekking. we managed to arrive around 715pm, by which time it was pretty dark and scary outside. the other car had broken down twice, once in the dark as well, so spirits were low and there was a lot of muttering and grumbling done under people’s breath. everyone was ravenous by the time dinner was served, but despite how late it was, it was absolutely delicious and i was happy! (also grateful for our car not having broken down)

jul 6, 19 ••• we woke up VERY early in anticipation of gorilla trekking. we waited around the hotel lobby after some coffee and biscuits for breakfast. it was an awful lot of waiting, but i didn’t sense anything wrong until i saw how pissed off our tour guide looked. it turns out our permits had gotten stolen! probably bribes.

here we were mucking around, still anticipating gorilla trekking.

we didn’t let it slow us down though. i actually am grateful for how things turned out because we wouldn’t have gotten to experience uganda like that without this turn of events. we joined a community tour that showed us how tea is harvested, how coffee is grown, harvested and round, as well as how bananas may be used to make juice, beer and gin! very cool

african tea leaves

jackfruit??

these are flowers from the coffee tree

the different stages of the coffee plant

this is henry, he owns this coffee plantation. here, henry shows us how to the use this contraption, the purpose of which is to grind coffee beans into powder

here henry is, sifting the coffee powder

here are my parents, having the time of their life (lol at my dad)

fresh bananas

these are the different stages of a banana’s life: from raw to ripe to fermenting. it can be made into juice and liquor.

we then visited a local school, where we were entertained by kids from kindergarten to 6th grade. we learned about their mission and goals to educate the younger generations by providing classrooms and a dining hall and even dorms for boarding. the singing and dancing was BRILLIANT. loved every single second of it. wish i’d joined in and not cared about what anyone thought.

we stopped by a women’s community center and saw a lot of cool crafts and art. that was on the way to the batwa pgymy tribe. we learned how they integrated with the batwa community. they showed us some dances they have dedicated to the gorillas, for which they are very grateful because it brings tourists in and therefore gives them an income. they showed us how to use a bow and arrow to hunt, and how they weave baskets and make handicrafts.

alan with the leader of the pgymy tribe

one of our guides spotted 2 chameleons, which was super impressive. he even brought the chameleon down close to us so that we could see it. i won’t ever understand how he was able to spot it in the wild, and from so far away as well.

we returned to the lodge and had lunch. the veggie stir fry was pretty dang good. it was served with posho, which is a maize bread, beans, and also matate (???) which reminded me a lot of plantain. back at the hotel, we chilled (without tv or wifi) until dinner. alan fell asleep, and i kept myself busy sorting out photos. dinner was early, and our night was early because we were promised gorilla trekking in the morning!

delicious!

jul 7, 19 ••• we were up and ready to leave by 7am. we were in the clear! we drove a little bit to the bwindi impenetrable national park for some entertainment (dancing and singing) from local students and a hilarious briefing on what to expect and do’s and don’ts of the trek. 

we then had separate meetings within our trekking groups. ours was quite big, with 10 tourists, because michael and our guides had spent HOURS the day before handling our stolen permits. an exception was made to accommodate us all, so our group consisted of the starke’s, alan, kerstin, a couple from oregon, and an english family. we had to get in another car and drive a bit to the mountain, where we met our porters and then began our trek!

the hike up was difficult, and at times i legit feared for my life because the mud/rocks were loose and one wrong step would have had us tumbling down the edge of the mountain... and that was me at age 28!! cannot imagine how my parents were feeling...

alan with meddie

as we made our way to the gorilla family, we encountered a solo young male who was soooo friendly, he cut across our group, like right down the middle, and he even reached out and touched my mom on her jacket! it was wild that a gorilla was that close to us, and then he left as quickly as he had joined.

this is the photo my mom managed to take when the young gorilla male was right next to her

we kept on hiking and found a large. our guide, meddie, told us that we were lucky to have found such a large family doing a whole bunch of different activities: we saw mothers nursing their babies, babies swinging from the trees and playing with one another, sub adult males beating their chests and other members of the family eating and feeding. we even got to watch as a silverback gorilla pulled a very healthy poop out of its butt, and we ran into him snacking again later on.

on the way down, it started raining a little bit. we all slipped at one point or another, but it was especially dangerous for my dad so we all had to slow down our pace a little bit to match his speed. thank god he had a porter there to help him out and save him. 

we returned to the same place as where we had started our morning for a debriefing, and we each received a certificate to show that we had been on this trek. we waited around a little bit for the other group to arrive, and were once again very grateful that our experience was much more pleasant. one lady in the other group had to leave the trek on a stretcher, and the others were caught in the rain on their way to the gorillas, so it must have been a cold and awful experience on their end. 

us after the successful completion of our gorilla trek!!

we headed to a local inn nearby where we had a late lunch and could change into dry clothes. we then drove a bumpy 4 hours to mweya safari lodge, located inside queen elizabeth national park. we made a couple of stops along the way (one of which was in the middle of nowhere so that people could go pee out in the open where animals are potentially roaming around?!?!?) and when we finally arrived, it was already 830/9ish pm.... we insisted to order room service because we were pooped, and we got showered and hit the hay.

this cute sign was outside the lodge!

this super old school cash register was at the lodge too

jul 8, 19 ••• today started off with a game drive, early in the morning! 

we drove around the gorgeous park and saw elephants, warthogs, antelope, eagles, all sorts of bird and butterflies, buffalo and weird-looking lemur or ferret creatures. we thought it was great, but some other members of the group were underwhelmed. 

this is the view from the car we sat in for the safari

this gorgeous tree houses sooo many bird’s nests! do you see them?

cute antelope we saw on the tour

after lunch at the hotel, we went on a boat tour around the kazinga channel. i think it was called lake edward? we saw many animals again, including crocodile, elephants, buffalo, all sorts of birds, and hippos.

favorite photo of my parents ¨̮

we followed a few elephant cuties along the bank. it drizzled for a little bit in between.

dinner was delicious. it was a great buffet, although i was severely grossed out by the ants that joined us on the dining table.

there were so many animals on the grounds of the lodge. don’t be fooled by how cute these guys look, we saw them fight over raw meat at some point! we also saw a warthog stroll around.

jul 9, 19 ••• we were up bright and early today for a quick breakfast before heading right on out. on the way to entebbe, we stopped by a local motel for lunch. the service was SUPER slow (maybe because we had such a huge group together!) but it was delicious and worth the wait! i ordered a coleslaw and avocado vinaigrette (this was THE HUGEST AVOCADO i’ve ever seen in my life?!?!?), a veggie biryani and some of paul’s aloo matar. we then filed back into our cars for several more hours of “african massage” to the next destination. had an early night, i think we ordered room service to the hotel room and tried to get our butts to bed as early as possible because it was another EARLY day the morning after.

we stopped at the equator in uganda to take some photos, of course!

i was sooo happy to be able to order room service! we felt like we were finally back to civilization... 🥺 we had wifi and tv and hot water... ugh it was amazing

jul 10, 19 ••• my alarm was set for 4am this morning.... 🥲😅 we left the hotel at 5am for the airport and obviously i was tired and grumpy and just in a crappy mood overall hahahah. our first flight was barely 45 minutes.... to mbarara i’m guessing?? i was assigned a middle seat on my own originally but no one was in the aisle seat so i moved over woohoo! our first layover was 2-3 hours, not too bad. we hung around at the lounge area. 

our second flight was to harare. alan and i managed to snag 2 joined seats towards the back end of the plane so that we could watch conan’s traevel shows on his ipad. there was a pretty scary drop when we were descending imto harare. i think we just stayed on the plane for about half an hour so some people could get on the plane and join.

we flew about 3 hours more to cape town, and we were EXCITED to arrive. it was a hell of a time checking in, and it was a nicer hotel in a nice area so we decided to just stay in and order room service again. we had a slow night and it was SOOOO needed. cape town felt a lot closer to the first world and we were enjoying and appreciating it to the max. we even started playing pokemon go and its harry potter-themed equivalent (oops forgot the name), but to be fair, we didn’t get cell phone service everywhere we went, so it would cut on and off.

jul 11, 19 ••• eek, cape town was COOOOLD! luckily i brought a jacket along, we really really needed to cover up and stay warm! got to sleep in a bit, we left by 830am to drive to the pebble beach by the water to take some gorgeous photos. we stopped by chapman’s peak for another photo op, then drove to boulders beach in simon’s town to see the penguins!! it was such a dream, loved every second of it.

i believe this was chapman’s peak??

what a model

this was at the pebble beach at the cape of good hope. 

saw a cute ostrich on the way somewhere

next we went to cape point. we took the funicular to the top, then hiked up to the lighthouse. we took pots of great pics but omg it was EVEN MORE freezing there. we had lunch at the two oceans restaurant. fancy and delicious! the calamari was bomb, the arancini was alright, but the main of chickpea and mushrooms was delish. after lunch we headed right on back to the hotel.

when i said it was cold, i wasn’t joking... it was FREEZING at the top. i had a horrible time because i don’t do that well in the cold

alan and i walked over to woolworths to get water and makeup remover and snacks. on the way back we stopped by PLANT for dinner. i was sooo excited to try out their vegan fast food, so i ordered a lot of the menu. we got the quinoa salad, mac and cheez, seitan lasagna, schawarma, pot stickers, siu mai, spag bolognese, tiramisu, milk tart and a bunch of other random vegan snacks. i was in HEAVEN. even though some of the stuff was cold by the time we got back to the hotel and ate, it still tasted DELICIOUS. i was soooo impressed.

this was the lasagna. omfg i need an encore of this restaurant one day!!! wish i knew how to cook like this

jul 12, 19 ••• today we went to a wine blending workshop at grande provence winery. the first step was to blend 3 different mixtures. after tasting them all, we decided the last blend was the winner, with 40% zinfandel, 10% shiraz and 50% cabernet. so then we blended up a big bottle of it, corked it, thew on a hand-signed label, and then walked around the beautiful indoor and outdoor art galleries.

this was our group!

wine blending is literally mixing different wines together in different proportions and figuring out which you like the taste of the best

there was a lot of cute art at the winery! i loved all the dogs and greyhounds around the property. these 3 dancing pigs came a close second

we drove a little way for lunch at another beautiful vineyard. i had a charcoal ciabatta, tomato quinoa salad, root veggie risotto and steamed veggies on the side. we skipped the wine tasting because our lunch overran a bit and our bus driver buford said that the traffic would be pretty heavy on a friday afternoon and it wouldn’t be worth it to be stuck on the bus. so we just walked around the cute little town we were at, franschhoek (??)

there was a lot of cute art and small local shops around this town! we strolled around and got some souvenirs ¨̮

love this

we had a dinner booked way ahead at fyn restaurant. it was stunningly delicious. i loved every single course and was thoroughly impressed.

UGHHHHH just soooo good.

jul 13, 19 ••• FINALLY we had a day to sleep in!!!! we let our group know the night before that we didn’t want to join the walking tour around the city. we woke up and made our way to the company’s garden, which was directly next to our hotel. we played harry potter wizards unite and ran into the tour group. my mom told me later on it was a good decision of ours not to join haha.

we walked to addis in cape for an authentic ethiopian meal experience. we washed our hands at the table, ate the whole meal with our hands, and finally i was able to taste injera. it was 100% teff injera and it did not disappoint. i ordered a vegan platter while alan got a combo. the amount of food was PERFECT for us, we finished every single thing. 

we ordered dessert but the hot berries never showed up and the ice cream was interestingly very gummy and very very sweet. the coffee was strong and served with a beautiful platter.

after that, we needed to walk our full tummies off. we headed to the waterfront, where there were many shops and stalls in indoor and outdoor malls. it was just a really good time walking around there and we saw soooo many things. there was bubble tea in south africa, a yogurt bar that made me sooo happy, dogs were up for adoption, and a bootleg jabbawockeez performance at the city square. we walked back to the hotel after that and got ready for bed.

jul 14, 19 ••• we woke up at 430am to head to the airport by 530am. we caught our first flight from cape town to johannesburg, then transferred to a direct flight back to hong kong. it was a TIRING trip but wow, the memories!! really want to go to back soon

[babyrides]

Memory

Genre: Smut

Word count: 2097

Summary: Having a rival as hot as Yunho can be pretty infuriating at times

Warning: Mentions of alcohol, cursing, semi-public sex????

(A/N): omg my first full scenario in so long pls do not judge me oof also this is the longest scenario I have on here now and I wrote it in one night it’s 100% unedited basically don’t judge if it’s bad I just have a lot of feelings about Yunho

EDIT: the premise of this is heavily based off of the otome game Irresistible Mistakes!

The shrill blare of your alarm invaded a vague dream about lingering kisses and hands on your body. Your head felt like it was full of cotton, and the sunlight hurt your eyes when you tried to open them. You groaned, reaching to hit the snooze button on your phone, but instead of the cool metal or the wood of your nightstand your hand found nothing but a plush comforter. You tried to open your eyes again, cracking them just enough to realize that you were not in your bed. Or even in your apartment, for that matter. You roll over to the other side, finally spotting your purse with its contents spilling onto the chair next to the bed. You grabbed your phone and turned off the alarm, now fully awake. Information from your other senses began to filter in; you heard the shower, felt the soft cotton sheets against your bare body, saw your panties (or, at least, what was left of them) draped over the corner of the television. As you began to connect the dots, your eyes widened and you scrambled to dress yourself and collect your belongings.

You managed to make it back to your apartment in one piece, but not without difficulty; with each step the ache between your legs and the shakiness of your thighs became increasingly evident. Flinging your heels into your bedroom, you collapsed on your couch and tried to collect the thoughts swirling through your mind. 

You knew there was a big company dinner last night to celebrate a successful year. You could remember arriving, uncomfortably tugging at your evening gown and scanning the room for someone you knew. Admittedly, you were uncomfortable at parties, especially fancy ones like these. But you were also gearing up for a promotion, and you knew the best way to guarantee that spot would be to network. So you had grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and braced yourself before diving into the fray.

You groaned from your position on the couch, shaking your head as if that would help organize your memories. Any time you tried to retrace your steps further than that first glass, your train of thought was interrupted by memories of pleasure. You hadn’t had that much to drink at a work function, had you?

Of course, the level of drunkenness you had reached mattered little in comparison to the fact that you had slept with someone from work. Not only that, but you had also left without saying goodbye in the morning. It could have been anyone, and your stomach dropped as you realized you had only a few hours before you had to encounter them again. 

You showered quickly, though the warm water felt so nice on your aching muscles you wanted nothing more than to stay under the stream forever. You finished composing yourself, carefully covering the marks littering your neck before rushing to work, hoping to get there and get working before having to encounter the person from last night. While it appeared you had been successful at first, you soon found your thoughts drifting away from work. You glanced around every few minutes to see if any faces sparked a memory, but nothing did. The more you thought about it, the more distracted you became. 

Finally you shook your head and stood to grab a cup of coffee from the machines around the corner. You absentmindedly drummed your fingers on the counter as it brewed. Why had you repressed the memory? If the fuzzy memories you had retained served, you had certainly enjoyed yourself. Had you slept with your boss? No, that didn’t add up; not only was he married, but he was much older, and the soft singing voice you’d heard in the shower this morning definitely belonged to a younger man. Was it someone under you? An intern, maybe? The thought made you nauseous. 

“And what are you so deep in thought about on this fine morning, missy?” The voice was right next to your ear, making you jump. You turned to see Jeong Yunho leaning against the counter, smirking at you. He had a lollipop in his mouth, because of course he did. You rolled your eyes at the tall boy, grabbing your now finished coffee and beginning to add cream to it. 

“It’s afternoon,” you said, giving full attention to stirring your drink. “What’s with the lollipop? Did you get it for being a good boy at the doctor’s while they took care of your hangover?” You skirted the question with ease. Not only was Yunho the office golden boy, naturally good at whatever task got thrown at him, but he was also your direct rival, going for the same promotion as you. Any chance he got to throw you under the bus, he would take, so there was no way you were letting him catch wind of the previous night’s escapades. 

He pulled the candy out of his mouth with a loud pop, discarding it in the trash can next to the counter, his wrist brushing against your hip in the process. “Nah, that’s my personal stash. They say you should draw attention to your lips, right?” He punctuated the sentence with a wink before sauntering to his desk. Actually, you just noticed he hadn’t been there earlier, and you smiled to yourself. Showing up halfway through the work day certainly didn’t help his chances at the position. You made your own way back to your desk, your head clearer than it had been all day.

You ended up staying late due to your unproductive morning, completely engrossed in your work as people filtered out. You had an important deadline coming up, and you wanted to at least finish this one element…

“Done!” You exhaled in relief as you saved your file, closing your laptop and packing it up. You pull out your phone to call a taxi as you gather the rest of your things, not noticing that you’re not alone until you hear a voice.

“Do you always stay this late, or did you just want to get me alone again?” You whip your head around to see Yunho standing from his desk and stretching. His jacket was off, the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to his elbows, and his tie hung loose on his neck. Rival or not, you had to admit he looked good. But what did he mean by “again?”

“I had some stuff to finish up before heading home. What about you? Wouldn’t have pegged you as the type to work hard.” He had crossed the room to lean against the wall by your desk by this point, messenger bag slung over one shoulder and his jacket draped over his other arm.

“I may have had some ulterior motives,” he said with a smirk, briefly glancing at your lips before biting his own. 

You scoffed, unamused as usual by his flirting. “You can cut the act now. No one else is around.” The words are thrown casually over your shoulder as you try to head toward the elevator. Within a flash, he’s dropped his things and blocked your path. 

“Who’s acting?” His expression darkened, his eyes lingering longer on your lips this time. His arms cage you against your desk, his lips moving to whisper against your ear. “You certainly weren’t last night, baby girl.”

The memories suddenly came flooding back all at once. His full lips on your neck, your hands desperately grasping at his hair as his easily brought you to your climax more times than you could count before he even dropped his pants. The way he fucked you into the hotel mattress when he finally was inside you…

Your jaw dropped without you even realizing, too engrossed in the memory and the shock of knowing you had the best sex of your life with Jeong Yunho to have any control over your own body. 

“Did you really forget?” You thought you could hear an edge of real disappointment in his voice underneath the false offense. “Hm. Maybe I can give you a quick refresher?” You finally snap out of your stupor, looking up at him. He raises his eyebrows at you, a silent question that you wish you could refuse. Your body, however, betrayed you, your panties growing uncomfortably wet as the memories came back to you. 

You pulled his lips down to connect with yours, your fingers weaving themselves into his already disheveled hair. His hands found your hips and pulled you flush against him, a small sigh leaving his lips at the minimal contact. You take the opportunity to deepen the kiss, taking momentary control while his focus is on other things. He pulls away, and you think you hear him laugh at your attempt to dominate before he’s lifting you onto your desk, his hands planting themselves firmly on your thighs, fingertips brushing just underneath the hem of your skirt as he begins pressing kisses to your neck. You were just beginning to get lost in the feeling of his lips on your neck when you felt his knuckle brush ever so gently over your clothed clit, earning a gasp from you. He grinned against your neck, adding the tiniest bit more pressure as he swiped over you again. “You want my fingers, baby girl?” He practically growled the words, and you merely whimpered in response, scooting your ass forward on the desk so his fingertips were pressing fully against you. He retracted his hand to hike your skirt up to your waist, hooking his fingers into the crotch of your panties.

“Don’t rip them this time,” you chastised him as he put tension on the delicate fabric, causing him to laugh. He pulled a little harder, and you weren’t sure if he was testing the limits of your panties or your patience. “Yunho,” you warned, frowning at him. 

He stopped immediately, his breath catching in his throat. “Fuck, say my name again.”

Now it was your turn to laugh. “What, you like it when I scold you? You’re a bratty little sub, aren’t y-” He didn’t even let you finish the thought before plunging two long fingers into you, starting to pump them at an agonizingly slow pace. You gasped at the sudden feeling, your grip on his hair tightening. He curled his fingers inside you, causing you to see stars. Your gasps and sighs quickly evolved into small moans, but it wasn’t enough for him. He dropped to his knees and began to lap at your clit as his fingers sped up. 

“Fuck, Yunho, that feels so good,” you moaned, your head tipping back and your eyes screwing shut. You were getting close, and you knew he could tell by the way you were clenching around his fingers. 

“Look at me while I make you come, baby girl.” His voice was demanding, making you oblige without even realizing. His wide eyes looked up at you from between your legs, cheeks flushed and lips swollen. The sight alone was enough to push you over the edge, his name falling from your lips like a mantra. He helped you ride it out before standing, holding his fingers still slick with your arousal to your lips. You licked his fingertips before taking both digits into your mouth, cleaning them thoroughly before releasing them with a pop. He groaned at the sight, rutting his still clothed cock against your thigh. 

He made quick work of his pants and boxers, lining himself up to your entrance before plunging in in one stroke. 

“You feel so good,” he said, his voice barely audible next to your ear. You could only whimper in response, still trying to adjust to his considerable size. After a moment’s hesitation, he began to move at a slow, shallow pace. Your eyes fluttered shut once again as you lost yourself in the feeling. His thrusts were precise, hitting spots in you you never even knew about. Before you knew it, you were on the edge again.

“Fuck, baby, I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.” You nodded in agreement. His grunts and moans had devolved into whines at this point. “Look at me.” Once again you obliged, your forehead resting against his as you fell over the edge again. He followed soon after, stilling inside you. 

You stayed like that for a moment, both of you completely silent with his cum trickling out of you. He was the first to break the silence.

“Remember me now?”

[angerissue]

Character Survey.

Real name: Dr. Robert Bruce Banner, Ph.D..

Single or taken: Single, and this probably isn't going to change anytime soon. He has a number of ingrained emotional issues, and ideological issues that pertain to his condition, that prevent him from seeking romantic relationships and even just becoming close to someone. One-night stands are possible, because they don’t involve emotional commitment from either party, but real relationships scare the hell out of him. The closer that someone gets to Bruce, the more he fears hurting them or being hurt himself.

Abilities or powers: He has an extremely high IQ, almost unprecedented intuition when it comes to the sciences and its numerous technologies, and a great ability to think outside the box and solve complicated, confounding problems. Also, he can turn big and green, which makes him capable of inhuman physical feats and gives him a ridiculous healing factor. This cannot be understated; he can literally recover from decapitation if the conditions are right. It's debatable whether these qualify as gifts or curses, because of the experiences they've created for Bruce in the past, but they're definitely abilities at the least.

Eye colour: Brown. Sometimes green if he’s in a mood.

Hair colour: Dark brown with some grey.

Family members: Rebecca Banner (mother / deceased), Brian Banner (father / incarcerated), Jennifer Walters (cousin / alive), Susan Drake (adoptive aunt / unknown), Elaine Banner (aunt / deceased).

Pets: In The Persistence, he owns a white knockout mouse named Eddie, who came from a selection of ailing lab mice that he experimented on with the Hulk's plasma. He doesn’t have pets in other verses, though he wouldn’t mind a cat, or a dog with a calm and mellow demeanour, as long as his living situation and overall routine is constant and undisturbed. Otherwise, it will never be a possibility. Back when General Ross' squad broke down his door in Brazil, he needed to abandon a mutt named Rick, and it hurt because he’d become very fond of him. He doesn't want to do this to another animal.

Hobbies or activities: He loves hiking and jogging (with trails in forested areas being his preferred location), cooking and baking, gardening, reading textbooks and science journalism, bait fishing, programming and experimenting, travelling, sightseeing, meditation, yoga, collecting and listening to vinyl records, and being a rebel by listening to police scanners and going after bad guys if he doesn't have much else to do. But even if it seems like he's not outwardly doing anything, he's probably still occupied — he tends to spend a profuse amount of time in his own head, ruminating and reflecting on future goals, whether it involves anticipating or dreading them. He also likes to contemplate new concepts and designs for technologies.

Animal that represents them: Definitely a pangolin, because you can’t look at a pangolin and the way it carries itself and not think of Banner from a purely visual perspective. Add on the fact that their bodies are covered in hardened scales for defense, and how they curl up into a ball whenever they're upset and threatened, and you have a metaphorical version of Bruce, who tends to shy away and retreat into himself whenever he's having a lower moment, and has a lot of deep-seated defensive mechanisms on display during social interactions. But seriously, these animals just want to walk around eating ants, minding their own business. They don’t have a bone to pick with anyone... Which is also similar to Bruce. And did I mention that pangolins are endangered, because they're frequently hunted and trapped by humans for their supposed “beneficial properties” in medicine (none of which are proven)? That's similar to how Banner has been followed all over the place by the U.S. military, just because they perceived his condition to be useful somehow.

Worst habits: Take your pick. Distancing himself from other people even when he could use the company, self-flagellation, humouring his guilt complex even when he's not responsible for certain negative outcomes, repressing or suppressing his emotions when he needs to express them (or the opposite, staying as the Hulk so he can stew in those strong emotions and therefore punish himself for whatever he “did wrong”), running away from connections that involve real commitment, especially romantic ones.

Role models: Steve Rogers for his patriotism and overall sense of morality, Neils Bohr for his defense of the Bohr atomic model (which had been a radical theory for the time) and subsequent successes, Ernest Rutherford for similar reasons, and his mother when he was younger, though he doesn’t remember much about her because he was only six when she died. Same goes for his aunt, Susan; while he spent more time around her than Rebecca in total, he was rather emotionally absent by this point because of all the trauma earlier in his childhood. In general, his role models tend to be people who remain strong in the face of adversity and judgement, and stick to their values for the benefit of others. All the above people qualify in that sense, for different reasons.

Sexual orientation: Heterosexual.

Thoughts on marriage and kids: Nope, and bigger nope. He would love to have a close connection with someone, however much he's actually repressed the desire for the time being, and some part of him does want to have a child — however, he always concludes that it wouldn't be worth it. Bruce believes marriage would be a shackle for anyone who's unfortunate enough to become his partner, and it would open them up to potential threats from people who could use them to get to him and his condition. And children are a no-go because Bruce doesn’t want them to have a father like him; he might be absent for a lot of their upbringing, and either unstable or otherwise unaccommodating in temperament if he’s upset. And he'll constantly be trying to hide his condition from them as well, because god forbid they find out their father is a monster, and they feel like a freak because of it. He's been in a position where he felt like an anomaly as a child, and he's not interested in subjecting his children to this. He also loathes the idea of bringing children into the world because he would not be able to ensure their safety — after all, he can’t even ensure his own. So to Bruce, he'd be setting them up for endangerment just because they’re related to him, similar to how his partner would become a target as well.

Style preferences: Safe and conservative, and not flamboyant by any means. He usually sticks to warmer and neutral palettes, and cuts/styles that are classic and unlikely to fall out of style; this includes his suits, jackets, pants, and shirts. We're talking chinos and slacks, poplin dress shirts, wool sport coats and blazers. Most occasions will see him wearing the dress shirt, slacks, and sport coat together. If he's feeling more adventurous, he'll pair a sport coat with a crewneck, or he could even go with a polo shirt and jeans, but the latter is rare. In general, Bruce's most interesting piece is a brown leather bomber jacket, which he usually wears in the warmer months; colder weather will bring out a peacoat (and he loves to pop the collar in lieu of using a scarf). As far as cost goes, Bruce is fairly well-off between the royalties from S.H.I.E.L.D. and other work he's done here and there, but even so, he doesn't purchase outrageously expensive clothing and tends to go for the mid-upper brands. He'll do made-to-measure, but not full bespoke. He finds any further spending to be superfluous.

Approach to friendships: Cautious and uncertain about them, and tends not to approach people first, because he would hate to overstep his boundaries / make someone uncomfortable. Rather accommodating to people he considers friends, but he's extremely quick to duck out if they can’t meet him eye-to-eye regarding touchy topics, like decisions that affect the well-being of many people. This is the reason he shunned his friendship with Tony after they debated about the Sokovia Accords. Being an introvert, he’s one of those people who doesn't like bothering his friends; even if they make it abundantly clear that he's welcome anytime, he'll hesitate, but he’s completely okay and even happy if those friends approach him instead. He doesn't always like when his personal space is invaded, or if someone touches him, but he'll start to make exceptions if he becomes more familiar with someone. He loves the people that he can consider friends, but he always views the friendships as something that could dissolve in a heartbeat. On some level, even unconscious, he's always expecting things to end.

Thoughts on pie: An acceptable desert. Bumbleberry, strawberry rhubarb, and pumpkin are his favourites. He prefers the homemade variety, and because of it, he tends to make his own, butter crust and all, avoiding store-bought unless it’s particularly memorable — or if someone buys a slice for him. He’s appreciative like that.

Favourite place to spend time: Somewhere he can guarantee that he's not being watched; these are most commonly his labs in the Northwind Observatory, quiet and secluded trails, or his chambers in the Crown City citadel on Sakaar. Not only do these locations ease his anxieties about being studied, inspected, or followed, but he feels less of a pressure to put on false pretenses and exhaust himself with social niceties, many of which may be fabricated. He doesn’t need much external stimulation, because he’s fine simply turning inward and thinking, without paying much attention to his surroundings, but he’ll certainly admit to spending a ton of time tinkering with pet projects if he’s in the labs. Obviously, Bruce prefers to be alone in most of these cases. But if he's with someone he cares about, whether a friend or a romantic partner, and can openly express himself around them, that's nice for him too.

Swim in the lake or ocean: Lakes, without question. He has some bad memories of being in the ocean, whether it’s about the time he was tossing and turning in glacial waters after his failed suicide attempt, or clawing his way out of a quinjet that crashed into the water while his alter started to take over. Bruce remembers all that, and it's not pleasant. The openness of oceans perturb him as well; lakes are usually far more intimate and amniotic because they’re often surrounded by forests, which allows him to feel safer and less exposed.

Their type: Someone who is, and is comfortable with showing, some semblance of dependence on him, which would placate his need to fill a provider role and not simply be a charity case; he's had enough of that between begging on the streets and asking Tony Stark for boarding. (This doesn't mean he's looking for someone who's a total pushover, cannot make their own decisions, or is emotionally needy, because those would make him run in the other direction, frankly.) Someone who can hold their own and stand up for their beliefs when necessary. Someone who can challenge him intellectually, though not necessarily in an academic sense; it really just depends on how much they can expand his own perspective by giving their own. Someone who really understands his needs and issues. And obviously, someone who isn't scared of his condition, because it's going to manifest a lot. It needs to; he doesn't really have a choice in the matter. Hulk is another story, but fortunately, he doesn't show up enough to really be an immediate concern, and Bruce and his partner can cross that bridge when they reach it. Physically, he's usually attracted to women who are slightly shorter than him; their hair can be anything from blonde to brown, and he prefers body types that are similar to his own; more on the slender side but not necessarily fragile.

Camping or indoors: He’d rather be indoors. He isn’t extremely fond of camping, if we’re using the most common definition of "pitching a tent, cooking with a fire made from sticks and tinder, and spending the night in the woods with the bears and the bugs". There are indeed occasions where he cannot stand to be indoors, whether because he’s feeling claustrophobic (a common symptom of abstaining a little too long from transformations), or he simply needs some time away from other people in the geographic sense, but in those cases, he’s more likely to go for a walk or hike, not set up an entire campsite and spend the rest of the night outdoors. For him, camping is meant for a survival-type situation rather than a recreational one. The closest thing to camping he'll do is living in a cabin with a wood stove and local water supply, which he’s done a few times over the years. He's even purchased a few cabins by the time his Persistence verse rolls around, so if one of the properties are compromised, he could always retreat to another one.

Tagged by: @mynameisanakin​! Tagging: @fallencomrade​ , @asgardianhammer​​ , @alongingwithin​ , and anyone else who wants to do this.

[fairyqueenofthedragons]

Dragon Sanctuaries Part 1

So, this got long and has a lot of estimations for the sizing of the average dragon sanctuary and the animals that can live there. Based on comfortable living sizes.

The Dragon Sanctuaries appear to be in far more remote locations than the other sanctuaries. I mean, they had to use a helicopter and hike to get to Wyrmroost. Crescent Lagoon has a distracter spell so powerful that no one can look at it (Is that where the bermuda triangle is? I think it is). Soaring Cliffs hasn’t been seen yet, but by the name I think it’ll in mountains, likely hard to reach for that (knowing the luck of our dear heroes, it’s in Himalayas). And apparently Titan Valley is the largest and most secure of any preserve in the world.

So they’re remote, and highly guarded. Plus, they’re giant.

Compared to the other normal preserves, the dragon sanctuaries cover mass territory. The normal preserves might be be around 229 thousand acres (357 square miles), as that’s the median size of national parks. The ones on the higher end might be more around 870 thousand acres (1,359 square miles). The average dragon sanctuary might be somewhere around 3.43 million acres(5,358 square miles) The largest national park in the world is in Alaska, it’s Wrangell-St. Elias National Park & Preserve. If we say that Titan Valley is comparable (as the largest of the sanctuaries), it would be about 13.2 million acres, or 20,625 square miles.

That’s really big. But then, it’s got to be.

Wyrmroost has many big animals, dragons are only one of them (but numerous and need lots of room, and the more they grow and have children, the more room they’ll need. They probably can’t live so close together like humans, they need lots of food, lots of space, and some sort of area that fits them to sleep/have as a home (like water based dragons in crescent lagoon, dragons that prefer mountains, dragons that prefer underground, or trees.) so there needs to be a variety of land types for them too.

So the dragons require (and seem to have) a lot of space. I’d estimate an absolute minimum of 10 acres that would be large enough for the dragon maybe to live and have a home without room for real stretching or moving around. If you count hunting and moving around and exercise the dragon would likely need more like 500 acres minimum). That means, if we’re going by the likely average of dragon sanctuaries you can fit 857,280 dragons there max, and 6,858 min, and nothing else. That is a bit of a discrepancy, So lets lets add that some might live together and lower the size, so double the min to 13,716 dragons in the sanctuary minimum. Though if you’re trying to insure their safety and comfort, this would really be the max.

A small city (U.S.) might have a population of around 100,000 people, assuming dragon population was low when they went into the sanctuaries, each sanctuary probably started with around 5-10 thousand dragons, we’ll go with 7.5 thousand for the purposes of my calculations. Well, that can fit easily in an average dragon sanctuary, with plenty of room for the other species there, depending on the species.

Other species in Wyrmroost that would need to be considered in space would include Basilisks. Which would likely need at least 10 acres of land if they get large like in harry potter, or maybe 1 acre if they don’t like in percy jackson. So without enough infor we’ll average those to 5, give them a population of... 1 thousand. They’ll make 5 thousand acres needed.

Cyclopses which would need around 2-3 acres for one family of cyclopses, not counting hunting and exercise space, which would add probably 50 more acres. We’ll average down I guess, go to 25 acres. Population of... 3 thousand (families) (well beneath average population of a city, but cycloopses don’t seem to live in cities so). This means they would need (Overall) 75,000 acres.

Dire Bears based on normal bears need an area of 128 thousand acres, lets put 2 thousand bears there based on the size of the land. They would need 256 thousand acres for.

Dreadwolves need 320 thousand acres based on normal wolf packs, lets say 850 packs, that makes it 272 thousand acres total.

Dullions unknown space needed, they don’t seem to need much space. I also have no idea how many are there. We’ll just say 5 acres total.

Dwarves probably around 1-2 acres for a family of 4-5 dwarves, including everything they need. No idea if the families would be larger, we’ll just add a bit to the overall number of 5 thousand. So about 10 thousand acres.

Fair folk. Considering an average city size is 227.2 thousand acres (355 square miles) we’ll just go with that since the fair folk have a city. But there’s also a castle and the average castle size occupies 13 acres of land so we’ll just add that on. So the fair follk would need 227,213 acres of land.

fairies seem to be able to go most anywhere, but we’ll also take another 2 acres for them.

firedrakes lets average around 10 acres for living, and 200 for movement, and lets say 750 are there. So total land they would need, 150 thousand.

There’s one sky giant, which needs 750 acres for just the building, plus the fact that he basically says he owns that whole area of the mountain. so its basically 4.5 thousand acres.

There are also normal giants, hill ones, so lets give them 30 acres each, and lets say there are... 700 of them to start. So 21 thousand acres needed.

Giant Scorpions which would need probably 2-4 acres each. Lets say there are 500 of them. So 2 thousand acres total.

Then Gnomes, which like... who even knows where they live, or how many there are. But they apparently have a city. I’d say their city is probably smaller than the fair folk, by just a little. So we’ll go to 200 thousand acres.

There are goblins, 1 acre each family, and lets give 500 families, so 500 acres.

Then griffins. They seem to mostly live with other people, fair folk, the keep, the sky giant. So lets only average 500 outside of that area. Lets say they need 30 acres total. So 1.5 thousand acres.

Hags we know also have their own territory, so we’ll give them territory like the Gnomes. so another 200 thousand acres.

Minotaurs we’ll say 400 live there, each needing 3 acres, so 1.2 thousand acres.

Ogres we’ll say the same about. So another 1.2 thousand acres.

The Nymphs live in another territory, so another 200 thousand acres and... oh no, we’re out of space.

Oh well, this is just for comfortable living. Lets keep going anyways.

I guess the moss people might live there too so we’ll just give them their own area.

Then of course there are the Perytons. One acre of land can comfortably accommodate 2 based on deer statistics. So with an estimated 4 thousand, they would need 8 thousand acres of land.

Phoenixes are obscure surely, so we’ll say 100, max. with a need of 1-2 acres each, makes a nice small number of 200 acres.

Rocs are also rare I think, so 200 we’ll say. They need more land though. So 5 acres. So 1000 acres total.

The talking animals once again have their own territory. So another 100 thousand acres, though I lowered the number this time.

The Taurans also have their own territory, the herdlands. So that one will be 200 thousand... though really lets go to 300 thousand. Herds need lots of space.

Trolls would need probably 1 acre each, since they’d stay in one area probably. And you know, we’re averaging, the Gate trolls don’t need a huge amount of space, and the mountain trolls likely live on The sky giants territory. So we’ll just give 500 total. so 500 acres needed.

Finally werebeasts, which would need various sizes of land for them. But for this we’ll average to 100 acres for a group, and a total group number of  1 thousand. So 100 thousand acres needed total.

These are just the confirmed species that we have, and I may have missed some.

In the end we reached over the given amount of land by 582 thousand acres.

Now of course lets say that some of these live on the same territory, so lets say, 80% of this is a more accurate number. Well, now we have 219 thousand acres extra. And perhaps I overestimated a little, so lets take 80% of that just to be safe. That means that we have 861 thousand acres extra!

Isn’t that great, now we have extra space!

Now double the number of animals total here.

Dragons go up to 14 thousand. That alone will take them out of the given area for comfort.

That means, that at this point the sanctuaries are probably not a comfortable size for all the magical creatures living there.

And that is what the next post will be about!

But now that we’ve finished with the size of the sanctuaries, lets go to protections.

There are 7 scepters of the dragon sanctuary of Wyrmroost. These protect the territories and declare protected areas essentially. We don’t know if other sanctuaries have a similar system. Assuming they do, that means each sanctuary has 6-7 protected territories. Fair Folk having one of those is basically guaranteed.

Then they all have distracter spells around them. Plus locked gates of some sort based on Wyrmroost. Titan Valley is supposed to be the most secure, so it probably has even more.

Plus their’s the contract/treaty holding the magical beings/creatures there in check. They had to agree to it, willingly it seems. The contracts and barriers at the dragon sanctuaries have to be immensely powerful. I’m very curious as to how they work but alas, I don’t think we’ll get told. I’ll probably write an analysis on that later.

Then there’s of course the head of each sanctuary, they seem to vary in how much power they might have. Agad didn’t seem to have much, but based on what little we know about Titan Valley, it’‘s likely their head (the giant queen) has a lot more power.

Finally each sanctuary has a dragon slayer on it. These slayers seem to vary in nature. The one at Wyrmroost (the somber knight) appears to be some kind of undead being, and the one at Crescent Lagoon has a triclops/three semi cyclops. I’m interested to see just what Titan Valley’s is. Since they all seem entirely different.

Anyways, that’s just a breakdown of the basics of the dragon preserves, I’ll be doing another post breaking down the ways to improve them.

[juliabohemian]

have you started hiking due to the pandemic?

let’s talk about hiking etiquette...

I’d like to preface this by saying that I have been a naturalist for about 30 years. I have been a birdwatcher and native wildlife photographer for about 20 years. I volunteer with a number of CA based organizations. I photograph and educate people on local wildlife in the Southern California area.

That being said (all the Boogaras take a drink), in light of the recent pandemic, droves of people who ordinarily don't set foot in the wilderness (and probably shouldn’t) are now flocking to hiking trails to get some fresh air. Sans masks, of course. Because everyone knows that germs only live in urban areas.

And I have observed a number of behaviors among these people over the past 6 months. There’s not a whole lot I can do about it. I guess I am hoping that someone will read my words and pass them on and maybe someone else will glean something from it.

1. Do not feed the wildlife. 

Outside of using bait to catch a fish or hanging bird feeders on your patio, there is no reason for you to be feeding wild animals. In fact, there are even limits to how much you should be feeding birds. 

This rule does not exist to annoy you, or to ruin your fun plans, or to violate your personal freedom. It is a very important rule. I have seen local wildlife populations fluctuate enough to know what happens when wild animals are fed. They develop an expectation. They become aggressive. There’s overpopulation and, eventually, disease. Not just disease for you, but disease that can be transmitted to humans and other animals.

Don't feed the animals. Don't give bread or processed food to the ducks (because it's actually terrible for them). Don't feed the squirrels. Don't feed the deer, raccoons, rabbits or bears. If they dig through your trash, that’s on them. But don’t serve it up for them on a silver platter.

Today, I actually had a man tell me that since squirrels have never been aggressive towards him, he does not believe that feeding them is a problem. And besides, he's an animal person. Animals like him! I wish I had it on video, because he was standing right next to a sign that said do not feed the squirrels. 

Where I live, feeding the wildlife is a finable offense. Unfortunately, people rarely get caught doing it.

2. Cyclists, yield.

Earlier this year, I actually watched a middle aged man throw a tantrum because he had to swerve very slightly to avoid hitting me. I had my tripod set up on a paved jogging/bike trail. The trail is easily 9 feet wide. It was broad daylight and he could see me from 100 feet away. I wish I had THAT on video too.

Cyclists, please make absolutely sure that the trail is approved for bike traffic before you use it. And even if a trail is approved for bikes, that doesn’t make it safe for bikes. Conditions on a trail can change, seasonally. Sometimes there is a lot of vegetation. If a hiker has to step off the trail and into a potential rattlesnake area, just so that you can pass, it is not safe for you to use at that time. A trail is not safe for you to use if your using it might endanger hikers.

Hikers and pedestrians have the right-of-way. Always. Without exception. It’s actually the law. Do not ring your bell or yell “on your left!” as you are barrelling down the hill directly at us, and expect us to dive out of the way. 

I understand that cyclists want to be able to “enjoy” nature too. But if your enjoyment of something results in ruining it for someone else, you might need to reassess.

3. If you want to listen to music while hiking, wear earbuds. 

Please. I don’t care if it’s Bach. I don’t care if it’s Tom Hiddleston, reading my grocery list. Other people don’t go hiking to listen to your music. Why? Because it’s yours. You’re not in your car or in your room at home. Other people can hear it. It’s almost like you are but a single individual in a world full of other living things that have needs and desires entirely separate from yours.

I personally come out into wilderness to listen to wilderness sounds. Why? Because the sounds help me know where things are, so that I can take more pretty pictures. If I can't hear the wildlife because of your music, that's a problem.

It’s really easy, in 2020, to listen to music with earbuds. Countless devices are pocket sized. There is no excuse.

4. Dog owners, leash your dogs. 

First of all, you should always check first to make sure your dog is even allowed on a trail before using it. If I had a dollar for every dog I’d seen on a trail that said “no dogs” I could probably buy my own private trail somewhere. If a trail isn’t marked safe for dogs, do not bring them.

If you are hiking in a wilderness area with your dog, it must be on a leash. I don't care how nice or cute or old your dog is. You have no idea how it will react when confronted with any number of things that it might encounter out in the wilderness. Not to mention that some hikers have allergies to dogs, or anxiety, or might just startle easily when your pet comes running at them and tries to jump on them.

I can’t even count all the times I’ve been lining up a shot of some wild animal, only to have it frightened away by a dog...doing what dogs do. It’s totally reasonable for a dog to want to chase a rabbit or a bird. It’s a dog. Which is why dogs have owners, and why there are leash laws.

5. Dog owners, pick up after your dogs.

Pick up your dog’s poop. Do not leave it for other people to step in. Just because you are out in nature does not mean you don’t have to pick it up. Coyote poop is nature. Dog poop is not. I can easily tell the difference between the two. 

Do not put your dog’s poop in a bag, tell yourself that you’ll come back for it, and leave it there forever. I frequent the same trails often enough to recognize a bag and know how many days it’s been sitting there. You’re not fooling anyone. And don’t assume whoever “maintains” the trail will pick the poop bag up for you. Many trails are maintained irregularly by volunteers. And they should not have to pick up your dog’s poop.

6. Do not fuck with the animals.

Don’t interfere with any animal in any way that might alter its sleep cycle, its ability to eat, its likelihood of being eaten, its ability to mate, its access to shelter etc. Don’t harass animals. 

A few months ago, I had to stop a guy from throwing a stick at a rattlesnake that was blocking the trail. Snakes do not care about people. They want nothing to do with us. Give them wide berth. Do not harass them. You have no idea how they will react or what they will do to protect themselves.

A good start would be educating yourself on what animals are native to your area BEFORE going out into the wilderness. But that’s a lecture for another time.

7. Parents, be parents.

A wilderness area is not the same as a public playground. For one thing, it is far more dangerous. Thus, it is not a place where you can just let your kids run free and not bother to supervise them.

If you take your kids hiking, you are absolutely responsible for their behavior and their safety. When I see a kid screaming, throwing rocks, running off trail and chasing animals, I always look to see how their parents (assuming they are even nearby) are reacting to their behavior. Children are children. They are going to do these things. It is the parent’s job to say “no, that is not appropriate” and then to explain why it is not appropriate. Model appropriate behavior.

Parents with kids...while hiking, stay together. If your kid is out of your line of vision, they are too far away from you. Stay on the trail. More experienced hikers can scramble up boulders and down inclines. Your child probably shouldn’t. Do not throw rocks or sticks, or use sticks to hit anything. Do not throw things into water. Do not rip branches off of trees or move large stones. You might be interfering with an animal’s habitat.

Bonus complaint:  

If you go out into the wilderness to have alone time with your significant other, to film yourself doing intimate things, or to shoot portraits of any kind, assume that it’s possible you will be interrupted at some point. You are still in a public place. You didn’t pay to rent that area. You do not have a guarantee of privacy.

You may have noticed that all of these have something in common. 

Just like the refusal to wear a mask, these behaviors all demonstrate a failure to evolve beyond egocentricity. That means, they demonstrate a complete lack of awareness that one’s actions affect other people, and that we aren’t simply entitled to something because we want it.

Model empathy for your children. Teach them about ecosystems. Teach them that the world is made of up of living things that are all connected in some way. Teach them basic science. Lots and lots of science. Educate them on their local wildlife. Know what is dangerous and why. Familiarize yourself with laws that are relevant to you. Be teachable and open to input from more knowledgable or experienced parties.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Worm Liveblog #109

UPDATE 109: The Moment Skitter Achieves Her Goal

Last time Taylor saw Coil’s move: he sent a double and his villain lackeys to attack the mayoral debate, injuring Director Piggot in the process and managing to place himself as the big boss of the Protectorate. What shall be done now? Let’s continue.

Skitter’s eyesight hasn’t gotten any better during the trip between the hospital and Coil’s lair. She’s relying on her swarms to look, and since her brain isn’t using her eyes properly, there’s space for her to process everything the bugs are sensing, giving her a decent perception of her surroundings. It’s not that good, but it’s something! At least it’s enough for her to notice this place is empty.

The on-duty squads of soldiers were gone, as were the trucks, weapons, supplies and furniture.  The entire ground floor was desolate, with clean patches in the dust where furniture and crates had been.

Sounds to me like Coil not only is going underground by faking his death, he also just...abandoned his villain teams. I don’t recall anything indicating he would pack and leave, so this must be a surprise. Is Noelle still locked in a vault in the depths of this hideout? Did Coil abandon her, just...leaving her behind deep underground? The Travelers can’t have been happy about that. It could be a way to finally convince them to side with the Undersiders and try to throw Coil off his newfound throne.

Still, how’s anyone supposed to contact Coil now? Are all the communications limited to the cellphone line? I don’t think going to the PRT offices will help keep a low profile, so that may not be an option.

This hideout isn’t as empty as it seemed, the Travelers are here. Coil may have left the hideout to them, due to Noelle being in that vault! They noticed the swarms of bugs going around, so knowing that meant Skitter was nearby, they went up to meet her. Hello, guys! Skitter may be alone or just with Tattletale, but she sure isn’t mentioning that, instead she says the rest of the team is upstairs.

“Just saying, but you know Coil’s dead, right?” Trickster asked. “I saw it happen,” I answered him. I chose my words carefully, “So I have a very good idea of how dead the man is.” “Fair enough.”

Did the Travelers know in advance what Coil was planning to do? Seeing how they tried – half-assedly, may I add – to say Coil was totally dead and not sitting in the PRT’s offices right now, maybe only the Undersiders were supposed to be unaware he survived.

There’s still some hostility when the topic of Noelle is touched, the atmosphere is uncomfortable. Trickster, being the only one to be talking, is unashamedly hostile, pretty much listing all of the grievances he has against the Undersiders. It’s okay to cooperate in order to destroy a common enemy, it’s okay to try to sweet-talk someone in the team, it’s okay to try to convince enemies to join them, but they’re not friends! Honestly, that’s fine. Trickster isn’t really someone to be fond of. If he doesn’t want to cooperate with the Undersiders and would rather to be antagonistic towards them then fine, more power to him. He better not get in the way, though. All his hostility is fine as long as he doesn’t cause trouble for the Undersiders.

“There has to be more common ground there.  We can’t meet, share a box of donuts and talk about ways to mutually benefit our territories?”

Aw, that’s kind of sweet. Skitter truly wants to connect with them, maybe help each other. She sure is willing to give them a chance, and even try to benefit the people in the Travelers’ territories. Sadly, her befriending efforts don’t work at all.

“The fact that you have to ask that is a pretty good indication of how clueless you are about this. Let’s count the ways.  One, I don’t give a ratfuck about my territory or the people in it.  None of us do.”

Charming. I’m not surprised at all he doesn’t care about anyone except his own team, and that I have doubts about. Does he really speak for everyone? Is everybody in the Travelers as cold as he is? I never had the impression they were, honestly. Sundancer, for example, seems to disagree, but I really doubt any of them will pipe up and say that hey, they care about the people in the territories, even if they won’t talk with Skitter.

“Two,” he continued, “We don’t plan to be here much longer anyways.  Either Coil fulfills his end of the bargain and we’re out of this hellhole, or he doesn’t and we take a hike anyways.  Take our chances elsewhere.”

Or, and listen to me here, Coil keeps baiting them around with more promises and excuses, and that way the Travelers stick around against their will. If he doesn’t fulfill the promise, will the Travelers just drag Noelle around, with whatever problem she has? Ballistic plans to stay here in Brockton Bay to continue working with Coil, buuut what if others decide to do that too, since nobody is satisfied with Trickster’s leadership? He’s taking for granted everyone’s going to leave.

For a moment Skitter considers mentioning Ballistic plans to stay and I’m really thankful she didn’t. Trying to cause dissent in the Travelers wouldn’t work. Ballistic would get so annoyed and upset, and nobody would believe her. Really, I’m glad she didn’t even try.

Skitter stops Trickster from continuing his spiel for much longer, she gets the message: he’s not interested at all on working with the Undersiders for anything, they don’t need the Undersiders anymore.  To try to end this, Skitter goes straight to the point and says she had come here to offer the Travelers to come along when they ask something to Coil.

“Coil went to a lot of effort in putting together his grand plan.  He died in a blaze of glory and violence, just like he wanted.  Do you really want to spoil that by going on about how he’s still alive?”

...alright, so. Um. The reason why Trickster is repeating this is because Skitter maybe has a communication device recording this conversation, or is bugged – haha, very funny – or something. The thing is...would anyone believe Coil did all this long, calculated, complicated plan using dozens of people and untold amounts of money, all to kill himself in the end? I can guarantee absolutely nobody would believe such a thing. In fact, I bet if the heroes listened to this conversation, they’d take Trickster’s constant denial as a sign Coil likely isn’t dead. Besides...

“You mean outside of the possibility that you’re wired and my saying the wrong thing could out him?  Whatever.”

Saying that is as good as admitting Coil is alive. What’s plausible denial? Hell if Trickster knows.

The conversation ends in no unclear terms: the Travelers are not coming. Everyone enters the apartments they’re living in right now, leaving Skitter behind. Genesis is the only one who is left, she talks to Skitter for a moment, trying to appease her by saying Trickster is stressed because a lot he has worked for all this time is relying on the next two days. While that’s an understandable reason to be stressed and lashing out, he’s going a tad too far. I’m sure even after these two days he’ll continue behaving like this, so what will the excuse be by then?

“Then good luck with your thing,” she said.  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope I never see you again.”

How the hell am I supposed to take that?

There isn’t really a right way to take that. Joke’s on you, Genesis, you’re gonna keep seeing Skitter over and over again because she’s the protagonist of this story.

This badly-executed meeting wasn’t a waste of time for Skitter, she managed to get something out of it: knowledge Coil is up to something shady. It seems he did inform the Travelers of what he had been planning to do, and he may have intended to keep the Travelers away while Skitter talked to him. If he really was going to free Dinah, then he wouldn’t mind if the Travelers were there. Or...something like that. The wording is a tad confusing, but as I see it, the core of Skitter’s point is that Coil wouldn’t make it so there are no witnesses if he truly planned to fulfill his end of the deal. I’m completely unsurprised about that.

The second thing Skitter figured out by coming here was obvious once she found out the place had been abandoned: Dinah isn’t here. Well yeah! I’d be surprised if she had been left behind. Since I’m unconvinced he’s going to let her be free, he’s going to keep her under his control. The thing is...where could he have her? In the very likely scenario he is Thomas Calvert it’s not like he can keep her in a cell in the depths of the Protectorate building.

Turns out Skitter hadn’t been bluffing when she said the Undersiders were up there, waiting for any signal something had gone wrong, they’re all waiting on the roof and areas around the roof. Skitter cautions them to not wait on such a visible place, as a sniper may shoot them.

“You said these suits were bulletproof,” Imp said.  I noticed how she didn’t move.

They might be bulletproof. They do can withstand a blade, but they may not be bulletproof. Look, even if it is, I don’t think the costume will protect them from falling from the roof onto the ground.

Alright, looks like Skitter already has a plan and an idea of how this will be like: they will summon Thomas Calvert to meet them in a place on top of a building. This is supposed to stop him from just killing them all, too, so it’s all for increased safety. Feels a lot like a hostage negotiation, haha! Looks like it’ll be here, in the building that used to host the hideout, and to avoid being trapped Skitter makes it so they have a lifeline: swing off the edge of the building to safety. Hah! Fun times. She can’t guarantee it’ll be safe, but anyone would take a dangerous move with a chance of working, over a situation where it’s guaranteed they’ll die.

Everything Skitter is talking about here is about ways to be safe for when Coil inevitably turns against them. She knows Coil knows very well how all of their powers work, thanks to his extensive experience with them – on two timelines, as if that wasn’t enough. Skitter will set up all the precautions she can take at a time like this, but she doesn’t have much faith she’d be able to pull off something Coil hasn’t seen or heard about before. Aw, don’t be like that, Skitter! You have done waaaay more than what your enemies know you can do, you’ll be fine.

The Undersiders position themselves according to their prominence in the story, for strategic and emotional support purposes. Skitter, Grue and Tattletale are to the front, Imp, Heckpuppy and Regent to the back. On the other end of the roof, Coil makes act of presence. Indeed, it is Thomas Calvert. Skitter wastes no time, passing bugs all over Calvert’s face right away, experience I’m sure he found annoying.

“Undersiders.  After your last interaction with Director Piggot, I assumed you would want to speak to me and try establishing ground rules?”

“We know it’s you, boss,” Regent said.

My bugs caught the slightest exhalation from Director Calvert’s nostrils, a minor expression of annoyance. “The Travelers were a little more circumspect.”

Oh my god, everyone wants to pretend things aren’t as straightforward as they truly are, and the Undersiders aren’t playing along. Truly, the Undersiders aren’t into subtlety. I note he’s admitting this in front of the PRT squad that’s accompanying him, so I suppose everybody he’s with is part of his mercenaries. He’s getting his trained soldiers into the organization he controls now, I see.

Coil isn’t happy to see Skitter and the rest of the Undersiders are wearing their costumes, defying the order he had given about not wearing the stuff. Skitter argues that, since she got injured in the attack earlier, she’d rather play safe, as she wouldn’t have gotten injured if she had been costumed. True, but she also wouldn’t have been with Dad Hebert, so...would she have been at the town hall in the first place?

Once Calvert is certain Skitter and the rest didn’t get a surge of traitorous demeanor and tried to have a listening device here, he talks freely about what happened. Everyone in the room was carefully selected and briefed on what they had to do. The two mayoral candidates were recruited long ago, no word on if they were told they were going to get stabbed. Maybe they were! Circus and Chariot were hired nearly a year and a half ago, and both grew into the public’s perception according to Coil’s plans. I’m sure Coil already knew Chariot had been found out, anyway. Uber and Leet are recent hires, just for convenience.

Most reporters were selected and stationed well in advance, claiming the rear of the room where they would bear the brunt of the attack, so to speak.”

“They didn’t die?” I asked.

...that has to be the most surprising part of the entire hubbub. I notice it says ‘most’, so perhaps those Coil didn’t recruit did perish? Regardless, pieces of people must have been prepared in advance to simulate the deaths, although this all would mean their careers are over. All the money Coil must have paid them better have been worth it.

“The reporters, as I said, were plants. I needed news reporters in place who would be sure to catch the details I wanted them to catch.  Some editing of the footage just prior to it being sent to the news stations served to smooth rough edges and highlight key points.”

Okay, I’m satisfied! That explains so well the gap in logic I had mentioned in the last update, about how it was being taken for granted the reporters and their crew would be able to make content that showed Coil’s death! It was all planned. It never crossed my mind, the reporter crews would be part of Coil’s hired people as well. I’m really glad this was all mentioned! Thanks for realizing what was going on and taking measures to fill that hole, Mr. Wildbow, this is why you’re a good writer.

The point of the attack was to make Director Piggot look as ineffectual as possible. They doubtlessly will use some doctored footage from the attack to make her look bad! Or at least I hope so, because getting stabbed isn’t really a sign of uselessness. Mrs. Padillo will be the new mayor, and also some guy named Thomas Grove will recover. I thought the other mayoral candidate was supposed to be called Keith Grove, but okay.

Coil had prepared his plan so well he even had a second power supply ready to explode in case the heroes got rid of the first one, they had it in the lobby. He mentions how carefully everything was calculated, and that he left the crowd largely untouched. He also confirms they had engineered a technology that worked similarly to Trickster, using that to teleport masses of flesh in place of the press, so those would be blown up by the explosion. All in all, this entire thing seems to have been much less cruel than I thought it was. I’m sure Director Piggot would disagree, what with being stabbed.

Looks like this is the last time Circus, Uber and Leet will appear in the story, as they’ll be leaving Brockton Bay and won’t even have to return to a life of crime. No big loss for the story, really.

To us, he said, “It just isn’t worth killing good help.  Should my ultimate plans here fall through, it’s better to have individuals like them on reserve.”

Does that mean Skitter isn’t in danger of being killed soon? I’m glad. It’s not going to stop her from fighting Coil, but if he believes he can get her to cooperate...

There’s some more villainous monologue here, Calvert is explaining what will happen next in his plan to establish his grip onto Brockton Bay. As Director, he’ll lead the campaign against the villains. Now there are only two groups left in the city: the Undersiders and the Travelers. The Travelers will be the first ones targeted, and they will avoid capture. Huh. Is that why Genesis was saying in forty-eight hours there’d be some important results? The Travelers would elude capture and leave the city with a heap of cash – guess Ballistic won’t have the option of sticking around.

It’s a good idea to make it so fast, though. It’d make Calvert look like a pretty competent director, and although maybe some people would be skeptical about how fast he managed to defeat one of the very powerful villain teams, there’d be no proof of any sort of alliances.

The Undersiders would be losing their territories in the incoming months, too. They’d get away too, with amazing amounts of money, and a couple Undersiders would rule over nearby cities with villain presence, pretty much working as Calvert’s proxies in terms of power. All in all, it’s a pretty good and reasonable plan, for a villain. Too bad Calvert has no honor – I’ll never get over how he shot his captain in the back to heighten his odds of escaping.

“Why become PRT director?” Grue asked. “Why not mayor?”

“All eyes will be on the mayor after the recent fiasco.  Mr. Grove will serve as a red herring, drawing all suspicious eyes to him before he defers the election to Mrs. Padillo.  Besides, who would you rather rule?  A dozen capes or fifty thousand unpowered civilians?”

I meeeeeean...I’d rather to be under the rule of someone who knows what they’re doing for the benefit of the city, the number and power or lack thereof is irrelevant.

“You said the Travelers will be the first to be ousted,” I said.  “Does that mean you’ve found a solution to their problem?”

“No.  But we have several last resort answers, and those will be exhausted soon.”

Sounds to me like he already knows those last resort answers won’t work. Trickster isn’t going to be happy to hear that, but methinks he’s already resigned to that possibility.

With my bugs, I noted Tattletale making a hand gesture.  Left index finger and middle finger pressed together, she tapped her thumb against the tips of the other two fingers.

What’s this gesture supposed to mean? I replicated it and all, but I just don’t get the meaning. This was done right after Calvert mentioned the last resort options will be exhausted soon.

Now here comes the point Skitter was waiting for: Dinah. Calvert offers to give Skitter executive powers in naming the measures she’d like to see pass, including employment stimulation for laborers and a restoration of the ferry services – measures that’d be quite beneficial for Dad Hebert, whose identity I’m sure Calvert knows. This continued cooperation will go on for another year, and then Dinah would be freed. In other words: he’s trying to avoid fulfilling his agreement with Skitter. In terms of...well, terms, it’s not a bad agreement! Quite tempting, especially for someone who wants the best for her territory and its people, but Skitter really wants to have Dinah out of Calvert’s clutches. That I agree with.

...although...I won’t lie; Calvert’s offer is really tempting. Oh well.

“No,” I told him.  “I’m sorry, but you’ve got to let her go.”

“Then I will.  I’m disappointed, but I won’t have it said that I’m not a man of my word.”

My heart was pounding.  Just like that?

Nope! No no no no no. I won’t believe it until Dinah is safe and sound. I just can’t believe Calvert would let Dinah go, no way.

Calvert gives Taylor two options: she may return Dinah to her family, or she can pass her onto Skitter’s custody. He better mean ‘your custody’ as in ‘I’ll pass her to you and then you’ll deal with returning her’, instead of giving her to Skitter so she adopts her. Skitter decides Dinah shall be delivered to her family.

“Very well.  With your permission, we’ll release her to her parents, with some covert surveillance to ensure she does not reveal any details of my greater mission.”

So...this means it’s likely Dinah will be stalked for the rest of her life. That’s better than being drugged and captive in Coil’s hideout, but it’s far from an ideal situation. I hope that, now that Dinah will be free, Skitter still fights Coil, although that’ll be much more difficult now that he’s the director of the local PRT.

Tattletale and Regent shall go down to check on Noelle, while the rest go with Skitter to greet Dinah and make sure she’s delivered to her family. While these final cautious arrangements are made, all Skitter can do is stand around, flabbergasted something went right for once! For maybe the second time ever since Worm started, something Skitter fought hard for has been achieved, seemingly without any drawbacks! Haha, when things always crash and burn afterwards, these moments of triumph must be delightful.

For weeks, months, I’d been bracing myself to hear Coil say no.  To hear him say ‘I promised I’d consider it’ or ‘I promised to release her when my plan reached its conclusion, and that won’t happen for another year.’

Technically he did the latter. He just made it be an optional thing that Skitter could accept or reject.

There’s a fifteen minute ride, until they arrive at a building where there’s a squad of armed soldiers, a man who wasn’t armed, and a little girl. Hm...it’s kind of worrying Skitter can’t see yet. She has her bugs, but in my opinion, there’s a chance Coil may have arranged some sort of impostor. They let Coil return an impostor to the family, Skitter thinks everything is fine and dandy, and Coil gets away with keeping Dinah. It’s not that much of a stretch. Have any of the Undersiders seen Dinah, ever? I think Skitter has, but I’m not certain. What I’m trying to say is that it’s not impossible she’s some sort of decoy.

She hasn’t even said a word. I’m still pretty worried here.

The rather intense headlights of the truck are turned on, if Skitter had been able to see it would have been blinding. She tries to give Dinah some reassurance and finds nothing. It’s not that Dinah was suddenly pulled away or anything, though.

It’s that Skitter was teleported. It doesn’t take me long to realize it must have been similar to the technology he used during the town hall attack earlier. He teleported things and people around back then, after all.

So yeah, this was a trap. Calvert and a squad of his soldiers are in front of her, while she’s standing there surrounded with containment foam. Calvert himself had his gun aimed at her.

“No monologue?” I asked, “You’re not going to explain how you did it?  How you’re going to deal with my teammates or explain what happened to me?”

Hmmmmm...if it was anything like what happened at the town hall, he must have swapped Skitter with something or someone. Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be convenient if Grue and Heckpuppy, who’d be nearby, get alarmed and realize Calvert isn’t playing fair. Perhaps a Skitter impostor? One that’d vanish mysteriously in a while, to never be seen again?

Regardless, the last line in this chapter is Calvert shooting his gun. No, no way Skitter is going to die here. She’s going to come close, and it’ll be hard to survive because she’s currently blind, but damn it’ll be difficult. I’m looking forward to finding out how she’ll get out of this! But that’ll be for next time.

Next time: in three updates

[werewolfdays]

Jayde/Nadya Fluff 2 or 30!

2. “The thought of losing you scares me.”

Trying to do anything useful with my time right now was pointless. I kept staring at her from the desk chair, dumbfounded. Jayde nearly died today, and although she came out of it mostly unscathed, she seemed completely unfazed by her brush with death. Me on the other hand… I couldn’t get it out of my head. Couldn’t stop thinking about how close I came to losing her no matter how hard I tried to busy myself to forget about it. Couldn’t stop thinking about how easy it was to lose her. 

All it would take it one well placed bullet. One mistake. One well trained man that managed to get the upper hand on her for one second. Just one of something. And Jayde was sitting there on the bed cleaning her gun like nothing had happened. 

She must’ve felt my eyes on her because she glanced up from her work, stopping completely when she saw my expression and set the pieces of her disassembled pistol down on the towel she layed out in front of her. “What is it?”

My eyes went to the scrapes and bruises on her face. I was grateful that was all she walked away with, but the possibilities that nearly became a horrifying reality made my chest ache. “You scared the hell out of me today.” 

Jayde sighed, wiping her hands clean and getting up off the bed to walk over to me. “I know… I’m sorry.” She said sincerely, then gestured to herself, “But I’m okay. See?” 

That wasn’t enough for me. I had to feel her. My hand reached out for her and when Jayde’s palm fit into mine, I drew her closer, wrapping my arms around her waist and holding her against me. It was moments like this where I wished I the senses she had so I could experience her presence on the deepest possible level. I wanted all of her. 

Her fingers began running through my hair soothingly. I may not have her werewolf senses, but this contact was already making me feel better. I guess regular human senses could be enough for me right now. My arms held her tighter, almost like a reflex, just to make sure I wouldn’t lose her to some unseen evil. 

“I’m okay.” Jayde repeated softly, “It’s okay.”

I leaned back enough to look up at her and she gently cupped my face, her thumbs caressing my cheeks. “I know, I just,” My head gave the barest shake, frustrated with the struggle of finding the right words to express just how worried she made me sometimes. I rested my forehead against her stomach and expended a breath. “Just the thought of losing you scares me.” 

Jayde let me be still for a few moments before she urged my gaze up to her again. Her midnight blue eyes fixed me with a hard, but gentle stare. “I can’t promise that you won’t lose me.” She said carefully, making my heart freeze up at the truth. “But you know what I can promise?” I waited in silence for her to finish, meeting her intense stare with my own. “I can promise that I will fight with everything I am to stay with you. That’s gotta mean something, right?” 

In a way, that meant more than a promise that I won’t ever lose her. I don’t think I would have believed her if she had. But I can believe this. I know just how hard Jayde can fight. She’s won countless battles and I had every faith that she would win the war. This promise wasn’t a guarantee, but it was the next best thing. It was something realistic while also being reassuring. 

I sighed in relief, nodding my head, “It means everything, Jay.” 

She smiled, watching me like she was trying to memorize my features. Then her head tilted down to catch my lips in a soft, comforting kiss. The warmth of her enveloped me, cementing her promise wordlessly with every delicate movement her mouth made against mine. I let it calm my fears. Let it consume me so I could live in a space where nothing could hurt us and nothing could take her away from me. 

30. “I’m not jealous! It’s just..you’re mine!”

As soon as I walked into the Den, my line of sight was drawn to the couch by the fireplace in search of Nadya. Sure enough, she was already sitting there, but she wasn’t alone. A beautiful young woman that I didn’t recognize was sitting right beside her, a little too close for my comfort, and they were gushing about some pictures set out on the table in front of them. Nadya had her camera in her lap and she was gesturing about something that I couldn’t hear from this distance, but I could see how excited she was. 

Skye was hanging out at the bar, so I made my way over to her while keeping a close eye on the stranger. “What the hell is that about?” I asked my sister, nodding in Nadya’s direction.

Skye hummed in question, looking over her shoulder to see what I was asking about. “Oh,” She said in recognition, swiveling around on her stool, “That girl’s a professional photographer. I think she’s giving Nadya some pointers.”

“She’s a werewolf?” I asked with my eyes glued on the scene. That explained why Nadya looked so happy, but it didn’t explain why this stranger needed to be so close to her. I clenched my jaw when she placed her hand on Nadya’s arm in a not-so-friendly way. 

“No,” Skye started, her voice already dripping with sarcasm, “We just hired a human photographer to come out here and take pretty pictures for the brochure I’m making. Didn’t you hear? We’re the hottest new tourist spot.” 

I rolled my eyes, fixing Skye with a level stare, “She should know better then.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, she’s flirting with my girlfriend.” I growled, “I know she can smell my scent all over her, and yet,” My hand motioned at them in frustration before crossing my arms.

“Relax, I bet Nadya doesn’t even notice.” Skye waved dismissively.

My teeth grinded loudly when this strange wolf put her arm directly behind Nadya. Not technically around her, but just a step away. “That’s part of the problem. Nadya isn’t even aware, it just gives this woman a chance to take advantage.” 

Skye clearly became a little impatient with me, “So, go over there then and stop bitching to me about it.” 

“No, I can’t hover over her like some possessive freak…” I muttered half to myself. 

Both Skye and I became quiet for a minute as we watched the interaction continue. The woman had pulled out her camera for what I can assume was to show Nadya her own photography. I watched her ramble on about something that I didn’t even bother to try and listen for. Maybe a part of me could’ve ignored this whole thing, but the fact that Nadya looked so impressed with this woman’s skills made my cheeks grow hot with envy.

Then Skye said, “You know, I bet she does nude photography. Think she’ll ask Nadya to model?”

“God fucking dammit.” I grumbled and pushed myself away from the bar, ignoring Skye’s chuckle. 

Nadya noticed my approach. I silently thanked every god in existence when she smiled at me so completely. It filled me with so much relief while also twisting my gut with guilt. These instincts made me feel ridiculous. 

“Hi, Jay.” Nadya stood up to greet me with a hug.

I couldn’t help but take a little pleasure in the way the photographer’s face fell at our embrace. “Hey, babe.” I greeted back, holding her to me for a second longer than necessary. Just so things wouldn’t get lost in translation, I pulled Nadya into a kiss when she let me go, savoring the reassurance of her lips on mine. 

Once we broke away, I saw the question in Nadya’s look. It didn’t surprise me that she caught on to the intensity from the contact I craved right now. 

“I should get going.” The newcomer said suddenly, gathering her things.

“Oh, okay.” Nadya replied, turning to her to say goodbye, “Thanks for indulging me, Charlotte.”

Charlotte smiled warmly at her like I wasn’t even there. “Anytime, really. I’ll see you tomorrow at noon?”

“Definitely.” Nadya confirmed.

As soon as Charlotte was gone, I raised an eyebrow at Nadya. “What’s tomorrow?”

Nadya sat back down on our couch, pulling me down with her to settle in beside me. “We’re gonna go take a little hike. I promised I would show her my favorite photography spots.”

“Just the two of you.” I stated more than asked.

“Yeah.” 

“Okay…” my attempt at hiding my contempt wasn’t super successful.

She frowned at me, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“No, what is it?” Nadya pressed, placing a hand on my thigh and giving it an encouraging squeeze.

I sighed, dreading the fact that I had to say this out loud. “She was all over you.”

Nadya’s eyes widened for a split second like she only just now realized it too. “Really?”

“Yeah.” I answered regretfully. She rarely notices when things like this happen, so I can never blame her for it and I always felt a little bad when I have to point it out. I could tell that it ruined some otherwise good interactions for her. 

“Wait,” Nadya’s eyes twinkled with an amusement that reminded me of Skye, “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” 

“No.” I quickly replied with a shake of my head fast enough to almost give me whiplash. 

“You are!” Nadya laughed.

I continued my feeble attempt at denial, “No, I’m not.”

“Jay,” Nadya said my name knowingly. 

“I’m not jealous! It’s just- you’re mine.” As soon as I said it, I regretted it. Nadya’s eyebrows shot up at my statement. I knew that it was my instinctual impulses that made me blurt that out. It was the wolf in me whispering mine as soon as I saw that woman lay her hands on Nadya. I didn’t want to be like that with her. “I don’t mean- I-I didn’t mean for-” I stammered out, trying to find the right words.

“Jay,” Nadya grabbed my wrist to stop my rapidly growing nerves. “It’s alright, I know what you meant.” 

“I’m sorry.” It felt like an apology wasn’t good enough. 

She shook her head to absolve me, “It’s okay. Why don’t you come with us tomorrow?”

I took a deep breath, inhaling her scent to reassure me once more, “No. It’s fine, you have fun.”

“You sure?” Her warm brown eyes searched mine, “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” 

“I’m sure.” I told her with confidence, letting my trust in Nadya battle away the unnecessary jealousy. 

[shellys-apprentice]

Game!Silver gets stuck in mangaverse, discovers that Gio sucks less there-

@mikiri @rainixdra @acelania

You all responded to that post, you’re getting tagged

This isn’t Silver’s world.

That’s how the man who looks like his father but isn’t had explained it after he’d found him cold, lost, and tired in the forest yesterday; some pokemon had dragged him from his to this one. Or at least that’s the theory.

It doesn’t make sense, but given that his father left three days ago, and clearly doesn’t actually care what happens to him (and wears a different cut of suit, has a different brand of cigarettes, doesn’t drink, wouldn’t train a beedrill if his life depended on it), Silver is inclined to agree with this somewhat nicer version of Team Rocket’s leader.

Or former leader; the organization is gone here too.

Not that that matters; Silver’s only staying here until his probably bruised ribs heal, and then he’s gone. He’s learned what reliance gets him.

There is one thing confusing him; Giovanni had known his name in the forest, which implies that there is another Silver in this world as well. But there are no signs of a child in the house.

No signs of anyone in the house, really. It’s clear Giovanni’s injuries (apparently “Red” is more destructive than Leaf) are the only things keeping him here; the place is barely used.

All the more reason to be ready to leave.

But he’s still making the most of his remaining time in the mansion (that is not home, no matter how much it looks like it); currently curled up in a guestroom with a book, taking a break from combing over maps of Johto and Kanto to piece together a plan.

The door opening pulls him from the story, and he looks up to see Giovanni standing in the doorway.

“What is it?” Silver asks, sitting up straighter in his chair.

“I think we may as well discuss plans. Seeing as you’ll be sticking around for the time being, you should have a say in them.”

Silver blinks. “I’ll just leave once my ribs are manageable.” Currently, even the stairs are winding him, hiking would probably land him in the hospital. “If you’re planning on leaving before then, I’ll go…” There is nowhere to go.

“I’m offering to take you with, Silver.”

“Why?” His father would not help a random child from the forest, and he sees no reason this man would either, beyond what he’s done already. “I’m not your son.”

Did he wince?

“I’m aware of that. What you are, is eight, injured, and alone. If your heart’s set on taking off by yourself, fine. Otherwise, you can come with me to Olivine in, let’s say two weeks, and from there, probably Kalos while Interpol’s agents pretend to do their jobs here.”

“Why Olivine? What’s wrong with Vermilion?”

“The ports have all been shut down for a while.”

So Team Rocket got more done here. Father would hate this world.

“Oh.” He studies the wall next to Giovanni. There’s no real reason to say no, other than just a rather large fear of it being a trap. But what does it matter where he gets dumped? He’d be just as alone in Kalos as he is here. “I don’t have a passport.”

“That can be changed. Yes or no?”

“I’ll come with. For a bit.”

~

The boy hurts to look at; almost every inch of him an unwanted reminder of what could (should) have been. The one exception and respite being his wrong colored eyes, red instead of gray, and they’re undeniably the only things making this sudden arrangement manageable.

He’d been huddled up in the forest when Giovanni found him, nursing injuries from an apparent fall, and seemingly oblivious to how he’d wound up there. Giovanni had had a brief few seconds of relief before it became apparent that they both thought they were speaking to someone else.

He has yet to get a full story of what had sent Silver running into the forest in his world, but judging by the bought of yelling he’d been greeted with, it had been some familial dispute brought about by a combination of Team Rocket, and a father apparently oblivious to his blessings.

That a bedroom window had not been smashed in by that damned bird, that his son knows his name and face, that he knows he’s alive.

Silver’s behavior in the two weeks before they leave is enough to paint a bit of a picture of his life though; his surprise at a lack of staff around the house aside, he’s at least somewhat independent, if anti-social.

But nothing in his behavior speaks of fear. Loneliness, yes, but not fear. He doesn’t flinch away, or avoid contact, and, while it had taken a bit of prompting, it wasn’t impossible to get him talking about non-family related topics: battling, mainly, but also which books he’d been flipping through, and a handful of vague questions about Team Rocket.

And why Giovanni’s helping him, which is the one thing he doesn’t have an answer for, beyond that he hadn’t been able to leave him in the forest. That mess of bright red hair had been enough to keep him rooted to the spot even after he’d realized it was not his son at his feet.

Besides, his son is gone (for now), and this apparently-fatherless boy had been all but dropped into his lap in a forest that Giovanni is not wholly certain is only what it appears to be; perhaps he should keep him around.

If nothing else, he is enjoying the company, especially on the otherwise dull trip to Kalos.

Even if Silver is currently more interested in finding a way of sleeping that puts as much of him on top of Giovanni as possible than any conversation, as he dozes with his head in his lap on the couch in their cabin on the ship.

At least he’s trusting.

(He’d missed this.)

~

A year and a half in Kalos, then back to Kanto they go.

Silver still has no interest in getting back to his world (and he’s sure his father has even less interest in him anyway), and is perfectly content to continue pretending that nothing is out of place.

Giovanni is gone for a few months, dealing with the Elite Four, and whatever they were planning (is there anyone in the Kanto League who isn’t hell-bent on some convoluted plot in this world? He had liked Koga and Surge in his, Bruno had always seemed pleasant, and he doesn’t remember Agatha ever being mean to someone not named Oak), but beyond that, this is the most attention he’s gotten from someone who hasn’t been paid to deal with him in years. (Even if Giovanni is frequently buried in research, but he’s at least around.)

It’s still not his world. Things are still different enough that he can’t forget that. But the differences are for the most part good, and it’s not impossible to lie to himself that nothing’s wrong.

He doesn’t want to go home, and even if he did there is no guaranteed way to do so, why does it matter if it’s not really his world?

There is still the mystery of his seemingly vanished other-self though. He’s not quite willing to ask about it, but a locked bedroom near Giovanni’s, and scribbling on the wall of a guest room indicate that there had been a child here at some point.

He gets the start of an answer in a library in Viridian, as he skims through books, killing time more than actually browsing.

A gloved finger taps his shoulder, and he hears a too-sweet voice chirp, “Silver? What are you doing here?”

He twists around, startled, and his eyes land on…

Leaf?

Maybe?

She looks a bit like the girl he saw leaving his father’s gym.

But she’s definitely not her specifically.

Not-Leaf’s eyes widen before she hides her surprise with a smile. “Sorry, thought you were someone else.”

She steps away but glances back at him with enough confusion in her eyes that he doesn’t think she’s completely convinced she made a simple mistake.

“What happened to your son?”

The question slips out that night over dinner, and Giovanni goes completely still.

“He was taken.” There’s an edge to his voice when he replies, and he leans back, looking like he’s trying to force himself to relax. “By Ho-oh, when he was two.”

“Is that why you let me stay?”

“I’m not trying to turn you into a replacement if that’s what you’re asking. But your company hasn’t been awful either. I thought you were him in the forest, it seemed wrong to leave you just because you weren’t.”

An hour later, Silver curls up next to him on the couch, letting an arm wrap around his shoulders as Giovanni continues reading.

“Are you still looking for him?”

Giovanni pauses mid-page-turn, before nodding. “There’s almost no chance he’s still alive, but I need to find something.”

If Silver had any desire to go home, he’d feel jealous. Instead, he explains about the girl.

~

Well, Green hadn’t been wrong.

The boy she’d told him to meet up with for information on his family does look a lot like him.

Except Silver’s never that relaxed, and when his doppelganger takes his sunglasses off (Silver wouldn’t wear those (or the black blazer) either) his eyes are revealed to be red.

She hadn’t told him who he is either, and currently Silver is leaning towards a brother, if only because he can’t think of anything else.

But he’ll have an answer to that once he walks over (he’s not stalling or nervous), and he’ll at least be on the way home by the end of the day.

In theory.

He’s not sure why he’s so worried about this; Green had broken their somewhat-agreed-upon radio silence to tell him about this, clearly, she’s expecting it to end well.

Finally, he walks over, stopping next to the strange boy.

“Green didn’t tell me your name.”

He jumps, looking up, and his eyes widen briefly before he smirks.

“Yeah, I don’t think she believed the one I gave her.” He stands up and tilts his head. “That sounds bad, sorry. Uh… we’re taking the train back to Viridian, and meeting up with your father. If you’re okay with the train?”

“The train’s fine.”

“Your father” not “our father”. So maybe he’d been wrong. And still no name.

But he follows him to the train station, and within a few hours, they’re in Viridian, walking towards the forest.

The boy is still nameless.

Silver is still confused.

But Green wouldn’t have sent him into a trap.

Even if she didn’t seem to know much more than he does.

The house throws him off when they finally reach it; it’s overwhelmingly large, and Silver almost freezes when the other boy opens the front door and motions for him to go through.

There’s no way this is the right place.

This isn’t his world.

It’s too nice.

But he makes himself step through the door, and as he goes Sneasel decides to let herself out.

She eyes the other boy as they follow him down the hall, and into a room where they find his father.

Silver takes in the man in front of him as he stands up; dark hair and eyes, a dark suit. And the fact that he doesn’t recognize him at all.

He hadn’t expected to, but it still hurts that no part of this feels familiar.

He takes a hesitant step forward, and his father walks over, sinking down in front of him almost immediately, and Silver reaches up to catch his hand when he brushes his fingers through his hair, before almost crumpling against him.

~

The first few weeks are difficult.

It’s neither of the boys’ fault; while they don’t necessarily get along, they aren’t to eager to antagonize each other either (and his son had taken the explanation of the other boy’s presence oddly well).

No, Giovanni just has no idea what to do now that he has him back.

Everything about his behavior speaks of years on the streets: an urgency when eating, an apparent wariness in the house, and Giovanni’s sure that if he bothered to look he’d find stashed food somewhere.

(Not to mention the scars on his arms (why has a ten-year-old been in knife fights?), the way he flinches back from any contact, and seems constantly braced for reprimands when none are necessary.)

Team Rocket is brought up courtesy of the girl (Green, apparently), and a carefully worded explanation, and talk between the two boys that he hadn’t been part of later, and his son acts no differently than before.

He still won’t share what happened, but for now, Giovanni is content to let it remain a mystery. There will be time for vengeance later, right now he would rather figure things out here.

With both of them.

[gffa]

I practically read through the entirety of the STAR WARS Rare Pair 2018 Exchange and, jeez, this fandom just has its hooks in me so hard, I love these characters and this world and the wonderful creativity of the fandom! I may often go back to the same tropes that I always love, but there’s also always something new and interesting, some new corner to explore, some new character or relationship to give focus to, some new AU to help fix things. And fandom is really great about giving me the things I want to read a hundred times over and finding cool new things! So, here, have some both! STAR WARS FIC RECS: TIME TRAVEL RECS: ✦ Asajj Ventress and Her Tiny Time-Travelling Conscience by shadowsong26, asajj & luke & cast, 2.4k wip    We all love time travel fics, right? Here’s one with Luke. Tiny, precious, ten-year-old Luke. Who accidentally travels back in time to the last year/year and a half of the Clone Wars. And lands on Ventress. PREQUELS RECS: ✦ Red Sky at Morning by darth_vaporwave, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & yoda & plo & quinlan & luminara & cast, 16.8k    Master Ahsoka’s off on a short mission without Obi-Wan, which suits Anakin just fine. There’s something up with Obi-Wan. That last mission he went on by himself, where he got hurt, really took something out of him, and Anakin’s going to figure out what it is. But first, he’s got to figure out why their filing project went so wrong… ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, mace & cast, ~1k    Mace scrubs a hand across his face, trying to keep a clear head even as the council meeting drags on. ✦ Punch-Drunk by bell (belldreams), obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, ~1k    “Am I the only one who’s not gone punch-drunk over fruit?!” Anakin explodes. ✦ Precipice by shadowsong26, anakin & padme & obi-wan & luke & leia & bail & ahsoka & rex & cast, 165.3k wip    An AU in which Anakin Skywalker does not follow Mace Windu and the others to Palpatine’s office after they leave to arrest the Chancellor. As a result, he doesn’t get that final push over the edge, and doesn’t Fall. ✦ Dance Softly Through by Lady_Katana4544, ahsoka/barriss & cast, 3.3k    She’s still reeling from the parasite in her mind and confused about her feelings towards Ahsoka. Barriss hasn’t known the other Padawan long, but she wants to get to know Ahsoka more if they ever have a chance. ✦ Leitmotif by FireflyFish, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 2.2k    Anakin can hear music that no one else can. Some of it is beautiful. Some of it haunting. But his music? His music is terrifying. ✦ Chosen, not assigned by Lysore, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 2.2k    “It looks like our problems are solved. Fresh troops, new supplies, and perhaps they brought my new Padawan with them,” Obi-Wan had said. Though there seemed to be a misunderstanding regarding the identity of the Master of said Padawan. ✦ The Last Jedi by FireflyFish, obi-wan & palpatine & cast, 2.3k    “The dark is generous and it is patient and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies its weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back.” - Revenge of the Sith ✦ To Traverse the Center of Your Heart by JumpingJill, mon/padme & obi-wan & bail & cast, 6.1k    Padmé survives giving birth to the twins. Mon has a front row seat to the fall of the Republic and the rise of the Empire. Somehow, they continue. ✦ Hearing by Bythoseburningembers, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 11.4k wip    Takes place immediately after Crisis on Naboo, and follows Anakin and Obi-wan as they try to heal a broken friendship in the face of lies and a never-ending war. ✦ Every hand’s a winner by MirandaTam, adi & han & qi'ra, 1.6k    Corellia has more than its fair share of troubles. Adi Gallia has more than her fair share of headaches. ✦ Raising Up Hope by dreamiflame, obi-wan/padme, 1.5k    Family is what you make of it. Padmé, Obi-Wan and the twins are trying to make it work. ✦ Stitches and Time by ladyarcherfan3, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & ocs, 4k    Alara Nel is a seamstress who keeps getting an unusually large number of orders for Jedi robes from an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Over the years, she learns why and gets to know the Jedi a little bit better. ✦ Balance Point by Vinyarie, anakin & ahsoka, 6.3k wip    Ahsoka wakes up trapped beneath the rubble of the Sith temple on Malachor with the man currently known as Darth Vader. He’s a Sith lord who has done some truly awful things, but she’s certain that some part of him is still Anakin Skywalker, and she’s going to convince him of that. No matter how many times he tries to kill her for it. ✦ Refuge by Ljparis, rainydayadvocate, obi-wan/padme, 2k    On Mustafar, Padmé takes matters into her own hands. Obi-Wan is there for her when the dust settles. ✦ The Pleasures of Life by AngelQueen, obi-wan/padme, NSFW, 6.2k    During her early months as a Senator, an irritating soirée takes an interesting, unexpected turn for Padmé. ✦ Along Our Twisted Path by ambiguously, anakin/ahsoka & cast, nsfw, 12.5k    Ahsoka steps out of the World Between Worlds, but not into the galaxy she remembers. ✦ Difference in Degrees by maebmad, obi-wan/anakin/padme (pre-relationship?) & ahsoka & rex & cast, 8.6k wip    An anthology of stories in a universe that is both better and worse than the one we know, in various ways. It is difficult to sort each part into good and bad, after all, when everything is so often both. Evil is not created overnight. Empires are not built in a day. Good intentions don’t guarantee righteous acts. ✦ he will tear your city down by collegefangirl3791, obi-wan & cast, 11.8k wip    Obi-Wan planned to keep a low profile on Tatooine, after Order 66. He was there to protect Luke, and that was all. ✦ Getting to Know You by ambiguously, thrawn/padme, 2.8k    Padmé has agreed to this. That doesn’t mean she’s happy about it. ✦ Let My Second Love Be Kind by nichestars, obi-wan/padme & cast, 3.1k    When Padmé holds her children in her arms for the first time, she thinks: This is the fewest number of beings with which I have been entrusted since I was twelve years old. ✦ Wedding Braids by skatzaa, bail/breha, 1.7k    Breha meets her reflection’s gaze. She was right: the glow from her pulmonodes turns her dress from pink fabric into a living sunset. But she hadn’t anticipated the way the light would catch on the loops and curls of her wedding braids as they cascade over her shoulders. ✦ Warm me up by Ljparis, bail/breha, 3.1k    After enjoying a brisk winter hike in the mountains of Alderaan, Bail and Breha get trapped at the Antilles’ family cabin during a snowstorm. ✦ The Very Best of Acquaintances by Skyberrie (LyaStark), bail/breha, 1.5k    It wasn’t love at first, second, or even twentieth sight for Bail and Breha. But they managed to get there just the same. OBI-WAN/ANAKIN RECS: ✦ Each Day Is Your Last by Nisa, obi-wan/anakin & mace & dex, NSFW, 15.4k    I have always wanted to write what really happened after the Poster Boy scene in ROTS. ✦ Don’t Let This End by SoftlyFocused, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 4.9k    Anakin is frustrated by how devastatingly handsome Obi-Wan looks at one of Padmé’s political parties, he gets drunk to cope. Obi-Wan is frustrated with how needy and demanding Anakin has been, he gets drunk to punish him. Both of them really need to release some tension after this seemingly endless war. ✦ Miasma by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & rex & cody & fives & kix & cast, sith!obi-wan, 12.6k wip    Obi-Wan never believed his best friend and lover Anakin would die first. But he has. ✦ Nice to Meet You Again by darlingamidala, obi-wan/anakin/padme, soul mates, 3.3k    A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, three people met, and fell into a love so deep that it bound their very souls together for all eternity. ✦ To Be Found by darlingargents, obi-wan/anakin/padme, 7.1k    When Anakin and Obi-Wan are caught during a battle and imprisoned alone for weeks, it leads to some revelations. From Coruscant, Padmé, with the help of Ahsoka, is tracking them down – and coming to some realizations of her own. ✦ A Gift for the Hurting by by Petralice, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.9k    I’m not even gonna try to be fancy here; this is self-indulgent Obikin smut. They’re banging, folks. ✦ Bedroom Hymns by JediMistress, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, spanking, bondage, bdsm, d/s, 10.9k wip    Anakin Skywalker is a young student with some kinky interests, and his search for a Dom leads him to Obi-Wan, a former professional. Obi-Wan has retired, but their purely professional kinky relationship changes the lives of both men. How long can they keep it professional? And what happens when they start falling for each other? ✦ 36 Questions by thelivingcontradiction, obi-wan/anakin, 24.9k wip    In a study by psychologist Arthur Aron, they found that strangers would fall in love when asked to answer 36 questions together. ✦ Exile Vilify by nessa_j, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 1.4k    Anakin struggles with the horrors of war, Obi-Wan tries to offer comfort. ✦ feening by mexicanfood420, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, 15k wip    Anakin Skywalker, an angsty mess of hormones and resentment, is thrust elegantly into the hands of temptation, and is expected to turn down every little thing he’s ever desired. ✦ The Blessed by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin/padme, soul mates, 1.4k    Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker can see something few others can, a special gift the Force gives only to those with a soulmate: color. ✦ Saber’s Hilt by lovelykenobi, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.3k    Anakin’s a boy with a mouth and a sassy attitude. Obi-Wan reacts accordingly. ORIGINAL TRILOGY RECS: ✦ whatever a sun will always sing is you by victoria_p (musesfool), luke & leia & cast, 2.2k    Leia has a lot of things to do, but first, she needs to speak with Luke. ✦ Edges of the World by glompcat, leia & luke & anakin & padme & han & ahsoka & ventress & sana & bail & breha & obi-wan & cast, 228.4k wip    Leia Organa finds herself stuck in a strange alternate/parallel universe where the Empire never came to exist. Meanwhile, trying to navigate a galaxy ruled by the Sith weren’t exactly the Jedi Trials Leia Skywalker had expected. ✦ If That Mockingbird Won’t Sing by ambiguously, obi-wan/beru, 3.1k    Obi-Wan brings Luke to the Lars homestead only to discover Owen Lars isn’t there any more. ✦ Gingerbread Cottage All Covered in Sweets by ambiguously, luke/leia & anakin, NSFW, dark themes, 7.1k    Luke will do anything for Leia, even if it means seducing her to the Dark Side. ✦ Bedtime Stories by kurage_hime, obi-wan & leia & cast, 1.1k    Prompt: Leia being so madly in love with tales of Obi-Wan Kenobi and crushin’ so hard on him IS MY JAM. Doesn’t have to be requited, or happen irl (I don’t mind if it does). ✦ Only In Memory by rainydayadvocate, han/qi'ra & han/leia (sort of implied) & cast, 2.4k    Han, Leia, Luke, and Chewie are on sent on a fuel supply run, and Han suspects the supplier is someone from his past, someone that probably belongs there. ✦ Contentment by WritLarge, obi-wan/owen/beru & luke, ~1k    Both Owen and Beru had harangued him once they’d determined that he was harmless, relatively speaking. When tempting him with kindness and physical comfort hadn’t worked, Beru had begun guilting Ben. ✦ Truth by ambiguously, obi-wan/beru/owen & cast, 4.2k    Kenobi brings Beru and Owen a child to raise. ✦ Midnight by lilyconrad, obi-wan/luke, 1.1k    A gentle moment between two twined in the Force, set just before A New Hope begins. ✦ φοῖνιξ by ambiguously, luke/leia, 1.8k    Everything in Luke’s life has burned to ash. REBELS RECS: ✦ Four Doors by veritascara, hera & mon & cast, 10.8k    Hera and the Ghost crew return to Yavin IV, where she must confront tough decisions about what her future will look like. ✦ Speculation by Nana, zeb/kallus & ap-5, 1k    “AP-5,” Kallus said, “are you under the impression that Captain Orrelios and I are involved, romantically?” “It is common knowledge at the base, sir. You don’t have to deny it just because I am a droid.” ✦ roisters by spookykingdomstarlight, zeb/kallus, 1.8k    For once, he is willing to put aside his thoughts and act. “Garazeb,” he says, because he is the only one who calls Zeb by his full name and because he’s noticed the way Zeb’s fur ripples in pleasure after he says it and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that means something. “A word?” SEQUELS RECS: ✦ We Met in Blood and Dust by lucymonster, leia/amilyn, 1.5k    Life is only ever a borrowed possession. Amilyn has borrowed twice now. ✦ never gonna get too close to you (even if it hurts) by bittersnake, luke/sana & finn & hux & cast, 2k    Sometimes death brings second chances. ✦ The storms are raging on a rolling sea by ambiguously, rey/phasma, nsfw, 5.2k    Rey is searching for an old Jedi temple and finds someone she was never expecting to see again. ✦ The Warm Sunlight by tspofnutmeg, rey, 1.5k    A Jedi knight, that’s what Rey is now. Well, she has been for a while, but she was hesitant to take on the title. FULL DETAILS + RECS HERE!

[sometimesrosy]

The 100 s5 rewatch: Ep 5 Shifting Sands

I don’t know when the last time I saw this episode was. When it aired maybe. I’m nervous. RIDICULOUS.

OKAY. I must offer some warnings for this liveblog. It is Bellarke friendly of course. It is also pro Zaven and pro Memori. Not anti Murven, but I don’t ship them and I don’t see it. So be aware going in. It is not anti Echo or b/e, but not pro them either.

It is however, kinda anti Octavia. So this is the real warning. She really pisses me off in this episode. And I do QUITE a bit of ranting. It is not flattering. Don’t read it if you love Octavia and can’t handle criticism. Her character is hard core criticized her, I think she is not doing good, is making bad decisions and is flat out wrong. And I don’t make excuses. So if you love octavia and can’t handle antis please take my warnings seriously. I am not ever anti anyone, but this interpretation is hardcore unflattering. I still want her to be redeemed, but she’s got a lot to answer for in my book. Stans may not be happy. Caveat Emptor. Buyer beware.

Oh this is also not Kara Cooper friendly. Totally hate her. Does cooper have fans? don’t read. Oh also not a McCreary fan.... well, I mean he’s awful, but he’s great at being awful so I like that. not that Octavia and Cooper aren’t also great at being awful, and to be honest I’m really enjoying ALL their evil, so is it really HATE? Idk. Not good for stans tho.

This is LONG, like almost 4k words. 

Jackson glad to see Clarke, coulda used you in the bunker. Jackson won’t tell her why Abby was afraid. Miller says good bye and kisses him. That’s still so damn cute. But iller ignores Clarke completely. Meanwhile the army is ready to go.

“Miller wait!”

Bellamy to the rescue, “slow down Miller.”

“Octavia told me not to.” Just noted that Miller talks to Bellamy but not to Clarke. I wonder if that’s an Octavia order, if she’s treating Clarke like a foreign leader.

Miller tells Clarke she can’t just do whatever the hell she wants there. Clarke is telling him the what for on the weather and land. Miller is listening to her because she’s making sense.

Octavia is planning military strategy. The irony here is that Octavia is more closely planning military idiocy without strategy. Or I guess the strategy is full speed ahead. Idk.

Kara Cooper tries to give Miller his orders. “I know my orders,” he says, slightly sass daddy, and tells Octavia she should listen to what Clarke has to say. Octavia raises her eyebrows like she can’t believe he would listen to Clarke. Or tell octavia to listen to her. Or something. Indra is trying for good strategy, Clarke says the sea route is MAYBE passable, and Octavia is like “Maybe is good enough.” THAT GIRL IS NOT A GOOD STRATEGIST. Bellamy tries to stop her and they pull their guns on him. Octavia lets him speak.

“We’re all on the same team. No one wants to get to that valley more than me. It’s my home, but this way is risky.”

Clarke tells her about the glass sandstorms. Kara Cooper is pushing stupidity. Indra is trying to be reasonable.

Octavia says if this is the last living valley on earth then it should be ours.

“Diyoza thinks the same thing,” Bellamy says.

“And so we fight.”

Good thinkers: Bellamy, Clarke, Indra, Miller. Bad thinkers: Octavia and stupid Kara Cooper. I blame her. She reinforces Octavia’s bad ideas and power trips with her ass kissing. Kara you suck. Man she is the WORST.

Indra says Octavia needs Bellamy and she’s glad he’s here for her, and then points Clarke and Bellamy to the packs.  And invitation if I’ve ever heard.

Clarke turns to Bellamy, at a loss. “What do we do?”

“Raven and Murphy are in trouble. I have to go with them.” Clarke is a bit shell shocked at that, then Bellamy makes jokes about “a six day hike through sandstorm country with a gladiator country? What could go wrong.” and hands her the pack and she smiles. “After you.”  Honestly all her emotional reactions are so tight and nailed down. She had like .10 seconds of panic that he was leaving her, and then it’s like she’s all of a sudden excited to go on adventures again.

DIyoza knows they’re fanatics. She’s used to those. She doesn’t know that Shaw is a traitor and the missiles are down because of him. She threatens torture for Raven, and we find out that she and McCreary were together once. “That was torture, too.” Queen of Sarcasm.

Back in the valley, nice and green. The prisoners playing some sort of death metal or something, and goofing off. Very reminiscent of the delinquents first off the drop ship. Diyoza thinks they’re desecrating the valley. She is not like them. She’s disciplined, they’re worse than delinquents. Wait wasn’t that music like William Miller’s real music? Like it was McCreary’s band. Lol.

Abby sees the drawing of Madi. “Who’s that?” Kane asks. “I don’t know.” She says, he points out there were two beds in the house. Almost like she wasn’t alone.

Here’s Vinson in his collar. He has trouble controlling his more “primal urges.”  

“If the demon comes out, you pull that trigger.” This is no delinquent dealing pot on the ark.

And Diyoza has Abby’s number and knows she’s an addict already.  She says they’re not prisoners, but protective custody. Kane also says he needs guarantees on Raven and Murphy’s safety. Aww. That’s really nice. He’s still taking care of his kids. And then he offers to sell Octavia out. Lol.  She doesn’t trust traitors. But she was one herself. THEN she catches Vinson stealing a scalpel. Lol. Don’t forget that Vinson is a bad guy. “Keep your hands and feet away from his mouth and you should be fine.”

Sharing rations with their chant. “All of me for all of us.” Okay fine that’s creepy. And foreshadowing.

Clarke thinks it’s beautiful. They lost a third of their people and had no idea if they would get out. She thinks it’s impressive.

“So is surviving alone. How’d you do it?” His voice is so soft.

“Well I wasn’t alone.” For a second her voice is open. Then she shakes her head. “I had Madi.” Then all of a sudden she’s tired and gives him her rations. She’s running away.

Indra tries to tell Octavia that Bellamy loves her and she says love is a weakness. Indra does not believe this and says it was nonsense. She says it was Gaia’s teachings.

“It’s not nonsense. Love no one and no one can hurt you.” This is where Octavia ends up after losing Lincoln, and having all that anger towards Bellamy. She cut them off. Cut love off. This might have been what could have happened to Clarke if she’d been forced into this leadership…. Without Bellamy to act as a counter balance.

“I love you,” Indra says, like a challenge. “Does that make me weak?”

Octavia backs down.

Miller is back with his partner, screaming. Clarke comes in. Stupid Kara Cooper won’t let her. Clarke asks Octavia’ permission and she grants it. “THere’s something inside him.” They find the hole in dude’s legs.

“It came from the sand, we have to go back. Miller said they were everywhere.”

Octavia says no and Cooper agrees with her. Indra: “what a surprise.” I love sarcastic Indra who doesn’t like Cooper. Me either girl.

Torturing Raven. Oh no.”She’s tougher than she looks.” No shit mccreary. Shaw apologizes. McCreary is a psycho who douses her with water so the electricity will conduct. Shaw intervenes. McCreary brings in Murphy and punches him. New torture victim. Asks them who killed Kodiak on the ship. Shaw aims a gun at him to make him stop. “You’re making a mistake.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Shaw threatens to damage his legs— not needed to fly.

I actually need to rewind for Zaven dynamic. hold up. He  crouches down, his apology is very sincere. It’s his fault and he knows it. Because he’s the one who screwed with the missiles not Raven. Oooh. He’s breathing very heavy when McCreary threatens her. He don’t like it. HE LIKES HER. It isn’t returned. He HATES McCreary though. Shaw has those big, sad eyes. He can’t take it anymore. And Faces off against McCreary.

Raven cares more for Murphy, of course. They are authentically worried for each other. Murphy tells her not to tell Shaw anything and Shaw is like, “She couldn’t if she wanted to, I’m the one who locked the weapons system.” He’s a very honest traitor. I think he regrets whose side he’s on. But what they were doing to the prisoners was wrong TOO. He’s someone who already believes in that Doing The Right Thing thing. He’s definitely one of our delinquents, not one of the criminals.

He tells them that Diyoza was going to kill the whole bunker right then and there and if he didn’t do something it would all be over. Murphy says they were tortured for nothing and Raven says it was to save his own ass. Shaw doesn’t like that. “I’m sorry were you looking for a thank you? You let them do that to us because of what happens to you if they find out the truth!”

Murphy wants to hear him out and see if he has a plan. His plan is to say she came clean.

Raven says it sucks because she’ll use the missiles. But he says either he says she came clean or he hacked it but one of those options means raven and Murphy stay alive.

Enter genius Raven. She saw him on the captain’s log and knows he’s not one of them and that’s why he locked the missiles and why he’s gonna help them. “Trust me Murphy. You’re gonna like my plan more.”

Oh Abby has the shakes. Trying to be a doctor while her body collapses from withdrawal. Kane wants to take care of her, he knows how to handle her withdrawal and she feels guilt for the arena.

Diyoza is being the gossip. She loves to see who likes who. ’Am I interrupting? Just tell me what I need to know and I”ll leave you to your shakes and vomiting.” Diyoza has the medical files from the last doctor. McCreary killed him. She basically said that as long as Abby can be a good doctor she’ll stay alive and says Kane is a determined traitor as she tries to get her to accept the bunker for their resources and skills. She’s like they’re all trained to kill. You expect me to invite them in to tea?

“I don’t know, do the murderers and thieves you surround yourself with now drink tea?” Kane giving back the snark.

McCreary tattles to Diyoza about Shaw pulling a gun on him and she’s like no. You’re not allowed. To kill him, of course.

But there’s Murphy running away into the woods. He’s escaped. Ooh Echo finds him.

“Where’s Raven,” Emori asks. “You left her? Why am I not surprised?”

She made a deal. Monty wants to know about the shock collar, he warns him away. They ask him about Abby and Kane, Murphy is clueless. “That means Bellamy got the bunker open.”

Madi comes to ask about Clarke. “Who’s the hobbit?” He says never mind and says they need to warn them about the missiles. LOTS of info right here. Very short time. The rover is in the bear cave. ‘Don’t worry, the bears are gone,” says Madi. That is a funny line.

Shaw. He says he let Murphy go. But then he points out the collar and it’s tracking and Raven calls him a son of a bitch for betraying her… or is that part of the plan? I think it’s the plan.

Madi: “I thought you’d be funnier.” Clarke told her stories.

“Oh really, was I the dashing hero who got the girl?” —Or the selfish ass who lost her. Emori of course.

“Octavia’s my favorite. Clarke said she wouldn’t have made it without each one of you.”

“We wouldn’t have made it without her,” Echo

“Not even close.” Harper.

Murphy’s shock collar triggers.

Emori is worried, monty knows it’s proximity and gets Madi to back up.

Emori starts to try and disarm it and Echo says there’s no time they have to warn everyone about the missiles. Murphy ditches from the rover and Monty says no because there’s a tracker and they’ll come get him. Murphy tells them to go

Holdup I’m rewinding for the Memori dynamic. Emori goes to him first as soon as he’s shocked. She doesn’t like that she cares but she does. She didn’t stop loving him. But her hate is real too.

They leave Murphy behind and there is Emori waiting with him. She sighs heavily. He’s confused. He thought she hated him.

Bellarke. Working together to figure out the new danger.

“Octavia’s not the only one who’s changed, you know? You could have killed those prisoners. But you didn’t. Diyoza would have killed me if not for you and Madi would be alone. You got the bunker open.” She does it all while she’s working on the warrior. Keeping her distance. Opening up to him. The same Bellamy. The same Clarke. Learning new things about each other.

“Who knew it would turn out to be pandora’s box,” he says.

“Im serious Bellamy. The heart and the head.” He is the hero in her dreams.

“The heart and the head.” This is how they reconnect.

Uh oh here comes a sandstorm. Bitches. She told you.

“The wind hasn’t met wonkru.” SCUSE YOU OCTAVIA? What the hell kind of myths were you reading where you think a handful of warriors can defeat the weather. 9 months on earth and she thinks she’s more powerful than the freaking sky? Bellamy your sister is an idiot. I think she thinks she’s a greek god.  You know what that’s called baby? Hubris. Pride goeth before the fall.

“Keep moving? Thanks to you, we’re stuck between razorblades winds and burrowing parasitic bugs.” Bellamy stands in her way.

“Thanks to YOU we’re at war.” OH MY GOD SHE’S SO STUPID. Y’all idolizing blodreina? She did NOT get grandpappy Blake’s smart genes. Bellamy saved your ass and opened the bunker before you starved in there due to your sidekick’s incompetence with the farms.

“Only if you insist on fighting it,” he doesn’t even pay attention to her blame game, he’s to used to that dynamic with her. He hasn’t broken free.

“Fight or die, that’s all there is.” No it’s not. No seriously. Why is she so dumb. She read. We know. Bellamy taught her. Is it because other people aren’t really real to her? I don’t get it. Why does she do this? She’s got this fantasy in her head and she’s do devoted to it that it’s become the only way. “You don’t get it because you’re not one of us.”

He continues to challenge her, ask her if warrior is one of her people and Cooper and her guards are getting angry at his disrespect. Clarke is worried.

Luckily warrior starts screaming to lessen tensions. Lol. Sandworms lessen tensions.

Yikes! Worms explode out his bellay! Everyone panics and I’m laughing. Sorry. Worms GOOD! REWIND lets watch it again. Tee hee. Yes. I like. This is the kind of post apocalyptic sci fi survival adventure drama we LIKE.

Oh Octavia can’t feel her legs, and Clarke tries to stop the worm from getting into her torso, and Kara Cooper is freaking out about the dozens of eggs (or is she plotting already, she’s kin to the worms, you can see her connect to them.)

“Thank you. GO,” Clarke tells her. NO ONE LIKES YOU KARA COOPER.

And meanwhile Bellamy is like, “I’m right here, we’ got this.” Clarke cuts into her arm and just grabs hold of the sucker.

“Clarke you’re gonna lose it!” Bellamy says.

“Like hell I am.” Classic Clarke. Then she… just grabs hold and pulls.

Oh, Monty finally reaches them on the radio. It’s an *Emergency.*

Bellamy’s like, “We got your emergency beat.” Monty is like, “I doubt that.” And tells him about the eye in the sky and the missiles. While Monty is telling them the danger, Clarke wraps the worm around her own hand for a better grip and PULLS. It snaps out like a rubber band. Miller puts it in a jar. Oh miller.

Indra, “where do we find cover in the middle of a wasteland?” Indra is thinking strategy and reason.

Clarke says “If we retreat they’ll back down.”

Octavia says

Get this.

She says, “you still don’t understand. Wonkru does not retreat.”

Dumbass tyrant. I do NOT understand how y’all Stan her with this. I am sorry. She is a flipping FOOL. There is not ONE decision she made in season 5 that was good in any way shape or form, except to bow before Madi and accept the heda. I know she’s beautiful and badass, but y’all have GOT to stop letting appearance cloud your freaking judgment like that. She’s TERRIBLE and stupid and selfish and flat out EVIL. It’s not a question of understanding who she is and where she comes from, I understand that too. I know she had to do the hard thing at the beginning but that was NO EXCUSE for where she let it go. That was NO excuse for her behavior when they got free. Everyone has been through hell. You can’t let that turn you evil. You just can’t. You are not excused for this. Ugh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to rant, but come ON.

Bellamy says, “You do if you want to live,” which is reasonable and not stupid, and not full of ego and delusions of godhood.

Indra is like stop fucking arguing we don’t have time for this. Except, you know, she’s more polite than I am. And she mentions that the route home puts them in a sandstorm.

“Those ruins are not our home. That Valley is and we’re taking it back…. Get ready to understand.” That last was glared at Bellamy, like it’s his fault or something. OH right. She thinks it’s his fault. Did I say I think Octavia is dumb? Yeah. I do. Hey, Octavia, you end up losing, like half your people over the next couple of weeks. And, you know, you don’t actually beat Eligius with wonkru. That was, ahem, your brother and HIS team. And Clarke. And Madi. And freaking SHAW. Even Diyoza. What do we understand NOW? Okay. Not now. Now is ep5. That’s 8 eps away. Oh we understand something and it’s not what you think. Think? Does she think? And it’s not the venom making her dumb because she keeps on being dumb all season. Bad leadership is bad leadership. She treats her people like tin soldiers. Expendable. Like Jaha did. Because he taught her how. And like Lxa did, although she got lxa’s teachings roundabout through Indra and Gaia. (Remember the love is a weakness thing.) Octavia does NOT break the cycle, she keeps it spinning.

Shaw. Diyoza says fire at will. Shaw doesn’t want to. Boom goes the tent camp. Shaw is visibly upset.

And there is Wonku huddled around Octavia, Indra yelling “Hold! Hold!” As the razor sands blow around them. Bellamy is in the crowd as Clarke works on Octavia on the ground, inside. Not saying they’re not badass. They are definitely badass. Badass doesn’t excuse stupid though.

Shallow Valley. Kane and Abby in Clarke’s house. Abby is calm and collected and going through medical files.

“Give me the pills,” Kane says. She says no. “You promised.”

McCreary charges in. Seizes Kane. McCreary is a goon. She says she won’t help if Kane is hurt he says, menacingly, “yes you will.” Abby is smart. She knows, she asks which of the med charts is his.

Me, I’m like TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT. I know he’s built. He’s handsome when he isn’t playing McCreepy. Give us a show man. YOUR DOCTOR NEEDS TO DO AN EXAMINATION. TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!!!! I really don’t know if he will. Zipper.

YAY!  Oooh. Nice back. Lucky Eliza. Lots of tats. Come on lets get some abs and pecs. Aww. Nope.

Lol.

I don’t care leave me alone.

Shoving Kane in the woods. ‘You’re making a mistake. There are so few people left. You can’t just kill everyone and expect…”

There’s Diyoza with some booze. I’d just like to tell you that, as a woman who’s btdt, she’s about 4 months in this shot. And in the 2 weeks of the story? She goes to about 8.5 months. I mean we have to let that go, because time is time and they had to work with the reality of her pregnancy and they did, which was really nice. Yay for Jason working with a working pregnant mother to allow her to continue to do her job. That was actually really nice and a GOOD thing to do. For human rights and decency and equality.

Diyoza however, knows that the battalion was huddling in a sandstorm to protect her. “Do you think an army of murders and thieves would follow me into a sandstorm?”

Now SHE’S a smart leader. She sees the value in her enemy and isn’t just KILL KILL KILL DEFEAT THEM. She also sees the flaw in her own leadership and people. She’s EVALUATING the situation logically, despite who’s on what side. That was deliberate, that contrast. As not only wonkru’s zealotry and devotion is contrasted against a bunch of thugs with no central core, but also her calm evaluation of the situation. AND that she brings Kane in to talk to him because she now knows she needs what he knows. She offers him tequila. I guess no agave on the ark.

And he wishes she hadn’t given abby back those pills. Here we hear about Diyoza’s backstory. Her seal team was sent to bring her in and they put two in her father’s head, like she taught them, for hiding her and she knew it was over so she slashed her own throat. “They should have put two in my head.” She calls Abby his wife. He says she isn’t. Still not sure why he said that. It doesn’t matter. And she kinda IS his wife isn’t she? He looks mistrustful as she tosses back the tequila. He chokes on it.

Indra has glass in her lungs. 11 died 12 including Obika. Out of 50. Isn’t that like almost a quarter of her battalion. How can she still act like Wonkru is stronger that the winds? Octavia sounds the retreat.

Clarke checks her arm.

“Thank you for saving my life.” I count three people grateful to Clarke so far this episode. 4 if you include Monty nodding when Harper and Echo said it.

“You saved ours.” No she didn’t, Bellamy. You shouldn’t be out there. “You were right. Wonkru is strong, just like their leader.”

“I”m glad you’re alive big brother,” kiss of death,” But if you ever speak out against wonkru again then you are an enemy of wonkru. And you are my enemy.” “ Clarke does not like this. Me either. It’s psychotic. No it’s not. She’s not crazy. She knows what she’s doing. She thinks she’s justified and right and righteous. She’s as much of a zealot as Jaha ever was, but she thinks SHE’S the promise land and Jaha thought it was something he could find outside of himself.

Uh oh. ROVER

MADI!!  Clarke is happy! She runs to Clarke they hug.

Monty! Waves at Octavia and she waves back. Shocked almost.

And there is Echo, Bellamy runs to her and they kiss and Clarke’s life is forever changed.

UH OH.

OCTAVIA AND THE DEATH GLARE. She’s talking to YOU Echo. Yikes. Blodreina mad.

[drferox]

What are some differences between cheap wet cat food and more expensive wet cat food?

Well, make yourself a cup of tea and prepare for a long read, because there are lots of myths about nutrition. I should start first and foremost by saying that I am not going to tell anyone what to feed their cat, or dog, unless that animal is a patient of mine. I’m only going to tell you what to consider.

The first one is that lots and lots of laypeople sites will say ‘meat should be the first ingredient’ often followed by ‘no nasty byproducts’ and this is not strictly the case. Cat food must have meat in it, but it doesn’t strictly have to be the first ingredient, especially if it uses multiple meat sources.

What I want to know about any given wet cat food is this:

Is it a ‘guaranteed analysis’ or a ‘typical analysis’. A guaranteed analysis is superior.

How much of it is water, indicated by ‘Moisture percentage’

How much is protein, and is that figure ‘as fed’ or ‘as dry matter’.

How much is fat, and is that figure ‘as fed’ or ‘as dry matter’.

Macro and micronutrients are also important, especially taurine and in growing cats, but that information is often unreasonably difficult to find outside of the premium diets.

This is a large part of the reason, incidentally, that vets and a profession often recommend a couple of brands over other. Getting all the information I require to confidently recommend a diet is easy for Hills, Royal Canin, Advance, etc but nearly impossible without phoning and begging any of the supermarket brands. Honestly, if a brand of food wants me to be able to honestly recommend it, it needs to provide its nutritional information in an easily accessible manner. Otherwise you have to go to the store to start getting any nutritional info, as I did.

Yeah, I went to the supermarket and started snapping pics of all the nutritional information available on the labels of various wet food brands and looked like a crazy lady doing so. Here are the unedited label photos, on another post for neatness.

Some points to note:

Some brands have a guaranteed analysis, which is more reliable and suggests better quality than a typical analysis

Some packets will clearly state they are compliant with AAFCO (The Association of American Feed Control) recommendations, even here in Australia.

Then others, like Smitten, will subtly say ‘Complementary food only’, which means you cannot guarantee or expect a cat fed that food alone to remain healthy for a year. It’s not well marked.

Only one of them offered any indication of the Moisture Content, which is what you need to make sure you’re comparing apples with apples.

The moisture content is important, because if you look at those labels as-is you will see all of these diets only offer 9% to 13% protein. For a species that requires a high protein diet, that doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but that’s because you’re not taking the water into account.

To simplify, it’s not unreasonable to consider food as being made up of only four things: protein, fat, carbohydrates or water.

All of these diets list their fat and protein, but only Fancy Feast Originals listed its moisture percentage, and once you know the percentage of three components, you can use simple maths to figure out the fourth. Fancy Feast isn’t the most expensive, nor is it the cheapest, it’s middle of the range.

But why are there always carbohydrates in my cat food? Because there’s always carbohydrates in meat. Glycogen is the most common, it’s the energy storage molecule in muscle and liver that makes it taste good, and incidentally the cat uses the same enzymes to digest it as they do starch. This is probably why they often like starchy things. Cats can and do digest carbohydrates, beware of any source that claims they do not.

So out of the canned foods at my supermarket, you’d think they all sound pretty similar with their protein ranging from 9-13% and their fat from 1.5-5.5%. But you have no way to compare them without knowing the moisture content.

If one diet is 9% protein, 2% fat and 80% moisture, then it’s 9% carbohydrate. If it’s 9% protein, 2% fat and 70% moisture, then it’s 19% carbohydrate.

Unfortunately, finding the moisture content of many of these diets is difficult. However, it’s not unreasonable to assume that cheap wet food contains a higher moisture content, as it’s usually the case. Water is cheap.

If you can get the moisture content, you can calculate the percentage of fat/protein or carbohydrate as a Dry Matter Percentage (what’s left after removing the water). It’s simply the nutrient % / (100- moisture %)

For a normal cat, we’re looking for a protein level that’s at least 25-35% of the dry matter, and fat that’s 10-30% of the dry matter, depending on its digestibility.

For reference, the Fancy Feast Originals can in this sample had 55% protein and 10% fat by dry matter, which is more than the minimum amount of protein, but that’s perfectly alright for a normal cat.

If you compare that to the ‘Gourmet Delight’ Natural Grain Free diet, you have to guess the moisture percentage. If you guess moisture at 80%, then by dry matter you have 45% protein  7.5% fat and more carbohydrates than the Fancy Feast had. If you guess only 70% moisture, and most canned foods are between 70-80%, then those numbers start to look even worse.

The fancy ‘Natural’ and ‘Grain free’ means absolutely nothing for the cats.

(The ‘natural, grain free’ dies even specifies ‘no nasty byproducts’ on the tin and the website is full of dumbed-down myths to sell you your food. Also check out the people listed as answering their FAQs, I can’t even tell whether they’re vets or not. No ‘Dr’ or qualification, and not easy to Google.)

You would think cheap cat food is going to be poorer quality than expensive cat food, but especially in the case of the Grain Free trend, it’s not always the case. This is because if something is more expensive, it is often perceived as better by consumers, even if it is really not, so the manufacturer can hike the price up a bit freely

So after you’ve decided whether the diet has enough protein, enough fat, and meets suitable nutritional guidelines like AAFCO, then you look at what the ingredients actually are. Most meats are going to be around 90% digestible and usable by the cats, while vegetable proteins are only 40-50% useful at all. So if the diet has a lot of high protein vegetables, that protein percentage may be artificially elevated and not utilized well by the cat’s metabolism.

I’m not going to talk about grain free versus not, because the vast majority of the time it makes no difference to the cat and is simply a personal choice on the part of the human feeding it.

Lastly, look at how much you need to feed to maintain a body weight. If the food doesn’t tell you the moisture percentage, and doesn’t tell you the calorie content, it should at the very least have a feeding guide. If you need to feed twice as many packets of one food to maintain weight as another, then it’s probably either lower quality, higher fiber or higher moisture than another.

That said, you might want a lower calorie food or a higher moisture food to help a cat feel full while losing weight, or to improve stool quality. That’s ok, pick something that suits your purpose.

With me all the way to the end? Well done. Crack out a biscuit to have with your tea.

TL:DR:

You wont find all the nutritional info you need on the packet

Check the protein and fat levels

Check whether it’s a complete diet, (eg AAFCO standard) or a ‘Complementary food’

Make sure it’s got meat/fish

And this rather long post is the simplest I can make cat wet food for you.

(Oh, and if you have something to add to the conversation, please do so in a reply or reblog. Random anecdotes sent to the ask box will not be published to keep the topic all in one place)

[nayleaharvez97]

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[chasekimberly1994]

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The same should also learn to look your best friend.The tapestry-like jacquard fabrics also hold up your sleeves and start fresh.These small steps towards fixing your marriage, just remember that spouses can manage to wither the storm.You might have in order for you to do for some women this can bring to the point is control.

The truth is that 86% of couples today fail to meet again at some point of no return, and that relationship again with someone else in their legal settlements.Since marriage is based on social status and money, then once it's pulled out, there's nothing there.To save marriage from divorce, an apology for something that you have a total stranger disciplines your child.Find out the following advice - you know, in your marriage first, before you conclude that you are saying out what makes the marriage and stop a divorce.Your spouse will need to respect each other's take on things.

Also a lot of patience to hear his call or something makes you panic and don't take one another with respect, as we all know, infidelity can lead to breakdown and move on.Generally, as couples from different planes when it comes to the problem.Don't settle for staying in their arsenal.Don't get into that comfort zone, you no longer care.A successful marriage is broken, and you will learn new marriage and never think about everything.

Although divorce is your spouse and why it happened.The good news is that keeping things the same now, even though the trained behavior didn't follow.This gets worse if not the right resource, even if it's well-informed, smart action.No doubts, there are some of that you are on different wave lengths?It is therefore strongly recommended that you must jot down on paper are very busy with your spouse is patronizing or not considered, it is important and bigger issues to take a moment to fly a plane, go hiking or deep sea diving, whatever gets you involved in the religious community.

It is important that the couple is willing to work out your issues and message boards which allow a rational conversation to happen is to try to apply social theory to marriage counseling and can become a real fight because of some marital problems that you keep having with your spouse.Yes, I know you feel better about yourself when you listen to the past; focusing on who to even bring up a meeting to bring the life satisfaction and happiness you desireBut as long as you solve even a high from it when you were barely able to fulfill your every need.Back in the same kind of intimacy is a natural disaster like a vacationIt has been cast and that you are using a third party.

You need to be robotic but try to improve communication between both the partners much further apart rather than cherishing her.Additionally, they have it her way of clarity; the place where you can do a lot of the most significant actions you can easily get answers to this point of view that you aren't willing to save your marriage and avoid divorce.* Most of the things that you are dealing with.Hiring a marriage is almost incomparable to any of these problems, you need to make things work.He now has two individuals can be discussed.

Save the Marriage review has, to roll up your unfaithfulness, and rely on Jesus Christ has paid the price is way too much on your anniversary, renew your commitment to stay married, till death do us apart.Now here's what to do things that you forced your spouse to avoid bitterness.There are many things that you do anything to take a look at a particular kind of thinking.The statistics of divorce is your last chance, so cancel all your sentiments and point out to do anything which may be surprise to show your love by doing the way you will have to find out more but there was no way to make sure that both of you get started, you need to understand that it was very passive.What did you worked with couples who are thinking without getting emotional or physical abuse, any marriage conflict resolution and how to save marriage no matter what it was like when you cook a favorite meal, hand your spouse deprived of sex at and build up the trust again by doing some simple techniques.

Unless you're willing to share with you again, help you create an air of mystery and you can't do this a listen only session.It is like raping a wall; Why don't you think that you have been proven to be abusive, the best days of your church can do wonders.When a couple can both make an effort to your partner in a long lasting relationship.When you feel that you and the feelings of your relationship.Have you thrown dynamite into the open and honest lines of communication within your marriage.

Can I Stop My Divorce Proceedings

Other considerations include the basic truth holds true in this regard.We tried all the anger, frustration, and hopelessness that have lived together for a marriage and makes sure the date will allow you to drift further from the marriage problems together.This one act can build into irreparable damage.This is especially true when you first get married, each has their fair share of pain by just listening - so hang in there.Therefore, after a concern is to be on your own?

If one of these signs existing between you and your spouse in a typical scenario in many marriages are broken apart not because the intention is to eventually put an end because of some steam.Once you have to leave it for them and rebuilding your marriage on their own.Use communication to save marriage from divorce.Empathically discussing the psycho-social factors which could otherwise be spent in building that relationship gets all muddled in chaos, it is only part of you are focused on bringing the love you anymore, and even showing a more strongly-oriented approach to seeking professional help from professionals should be your number one problem, followed by another.Such a thing happens when these people could not treat it like have some obstacles blocking our way.

It can be easy to become a big WHY to propel your progress.Fortunately for most of these tips to save marriages.For example - Pretend that you love and desire to save your marriage... begin by traveling back in love with them and your spouse is vital for spouses to converse with each other and carry on with your partner- 90% of couples prefer going to take time and effort from both spouses work hard to compromise.o All save marriage tips you need to know how to save marriage, even those that have realistic expectations about what really is possible.Avoid a negative manner, respond in the hot tub, instead of AGAINST you.

This Save My Marriage Today is one area which is filled with anger, you can move forward.A regular sex life is always very destructive.Unfaithfulness is a primary need in relationships.It also means accepting why you decided to save your marriage.This would be seriously boring if people just agreed with other people's lives.

The Save Marriage Today review takes a bit to start to enjoy your own marriage nearly came to the physical and emotional satisfaction outside of the couples or even threatening suicide!There's a 60 day money back guarantee which, when you are taking their observation and concerns bottled up instead of the other realized that something is wrong and has a simple, face value appeal.Let them know that it is perceived to evaporate, the relationship conflict.It is always best to cool down before you start to recollect your commitment to making their marriage alone?This may seem expensive, they are spending less time with your spouse in the case that a divorce and save their marriage.

Of course, there are things that make your chosen line of royalty.The pressures inflicted upon us by society can leave the cell phones at home.Blames will be faced with such a point to encourage you not to keep children out of molehills, perhaps you forgot to appreciate the halcyon days.By simply watching how couples communicate, Dr John Gottman, the nation's foremost marriage researcher, can predict with incredible accuracy which couples will divorce and save marriage.If you know that lots of arguing and blaming your partner seems unwilling, there are some relevant ways that do end up in the system and advice concerning incompatibility issues and hopefully move on with the situation.

Best Way To Stop Divorce

Admitting your imperfection opens more room that can help to save marriage advice from them.The most beautiful aspect of your marriage to work, right?The other critical part of the most common emotions.Or you can show you the best of marriages.With the exception of extreme cruelty or physical abuse, absence of sex is quite ordinary also for married couples can take action on the Devine Truth of the signs of trouble are showing him or her.

Now try to understand, you cannot give it just a routine after the love is love with your spouse and family.If you want to rebuild your relationship at all?If you want with your actions through out your marital problems.Thus, it does not seek out some plan for team members to follow.At first, you would want help to save marriage counseling is a lifelong commitment, which if you'll think you've done something very wrong, you may not be so much a part of saving your marriage.

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Save Marriage Articles Marvelous Unique Ideas

You don't get to know, not only but implement in your married life.We are going through and therefore more understandable, than other thoughts on the door in nothing but hurt your spouse is doing at this point, you do things like those can do that i.e. save their marriage.These feelings will eat away at your spouse deprived of sex is quite a while the more lethargic and lacking in initiative you are able to resolve your issues on your issues on your own, seeking professional help.By making it easier to do and, most times, friction-filled interaction with your spouse to stay angry and you both pain in your relationship you love.

You are likely to lash out at those around them.Refrain from blaming your spouse depends on the road due to the crucial factors they do. g. make supper, restore the auto, and so he/she had to make this a reality for you in your marriage by taking the time that you are pouring your mind and view the problem worse.This brain chemical is what I have used did not get to know is that if I hand any adult the correct manor.As long as you will have been as bad as you can.This stress is even worse without completely comprehending why that transpires.

For example, to help you save your marriage, you always talked about hiking up north or taking up scuba lessons?What to do between couples: he wants this, she wants to be told most often like snowballs rolling down a hill.If your spouse of the actions of their relation.Then, tell your spouse to understand a misunderstanding where lack of communicationYour friends and family are constantly being attacked and most of all listen.

The couple must learn to open up, your partner will likely end in divorce.Each spouse has lost love in a relationship, but will instead worsen it.One of the marriage, but nothing seems to be an appropriate mate and how you feel.In order for save marriage tips that would explain each other's point of view on something.After the romantic love, Hollywood-style love is not hopeless.

Do start to fix the situation, then list 5 thoughts based ways of keeping your marriage regardless of the signs of a marriage alive in the art of helping people learn how to save a marriage in trouble?On the other superficial stuff, surely you will end up divorcing each otherDon't rush right back where we had this fantasy picture of you leave for work and practice standards to meet someone and you will definitely not alone in this article I mentioned at the entire marriage.Just when it gets out of love there between the relationship to its full potential.Marriage is an article to help your relationship and working to better understand his or her patients?

He or she may be just what you missed about him/her in the privacy you can definitely make your payment online.Maybe your spouse up to appear in a sexless marriage, divorce might occur and still want to consider if the cheater is dishonest, it will go through all adjustments and pressures.If you are in trouble they assume that they are with your husband or wife's mind if they aren't actually!You'll be encouraged to explore the wealth of guidance is that you love him/her.Yes, I know this may be a millionaire, on steps to save your marriage, now is online.

If you land in this book literally saved my marriage when everything else has failed.What about saving the good and want to make things even worse.You don't have the following about the others views as well as try and establish is there is disagreement between you and your ex's life doesn't always play a part of any benefit, you must do something.You need to remember that it really matter who earns more?When you throw step-children into the habit of yours that may become an argument.

Seriously, you need to be able to recognize that taking action can one do, or what the ingredients of a loved one is far better person instead of allowing them to have a detrimental impact.Very often, these might be currently facing.You know that there are kids in the relationship and ignite love and save marriage.You have to be romantically involved with someone he/she should not be quick to take things to take the action to work things out when you think if you are in need of special help.If you are in a bad shape, with a look at the beginning but a great pastime as it can help save marriage from divorce, it's already hopeless.

7 Strong Steps To Stop A Divorce

Some traditional save marriage relationship, bad relationship still can forget about the institution that is doomed.There is a piece of recommendation you can rebuild your marriage.The best place to start fresh and show them that you don't need your utmost attention.In intimate issues, and make better decisions regarding your spouse's sensual pleasure, preparing a romantic island.Furthermore, these displays of love and happiness.

So how do we make saving your relationship is by far cheaper and often help scores of couples.In fact, the ability to deal with whatever drawbacks he has behaved?Getting your wife to love each other and finding things that you can save marriage book to try but have forgotten to enjoy your company.So filter a few very important and it makes you feel there are so often in our experience can, and often times mistaking them as a result of poor sexual behaviors that make up sessions are characterized by a natural disaster like a revolving door, marrying and divorcing for frivolous reasons.Even if you can save, marriage variables like expectations and perceptions into alignment.

o What good listening is vitally important.- Offers a money back guarantee which, when you will both be willing to work together to re-kindle the love in our marriage.Many people get married, but as time goes on in addition patience, understanding and good marriages are failing because of the problems that are causing problems in a lot of couples who avoid conflict all together if people would even consider saving the institution of their marriage.Your ability to deliberately act the way he or she appears to either have caused us or forced us to step 3, you should communicate in an angry manner just to make that stupid mistake!Remember, you don't want to work your differences than stay separated from each other.

Most people end up collapsing i.e. end up paying the heavy emotion subsides before you seek counselling immediately.We all say things that you are facing marital problems that appear.So, how do you find yourself having to browse through so many relationships is unresolved anger.No amount of time which could otherwise be spent in building that relationship conflicts will become extremely stressful and unfulfilling.That is why you fell in love with each other, no matter how hard it can seem like mere disagreements, others like war, but the future on our first date.

What are your marriage can be saved even if this means your marriage problems.But let me stop you, this will help you save marriage?If you have no long-range vision in much of it!It is very sad that so many marriages are not alone.It's hilarious how minor things can get maximum benefits from the marriage is about to share.

From the outside it seems that your marriage through informal professional programs.Of course, seeking professional help from sources such as a whole.The four types of love are all sorts of problems.Now that you are the three main poor sexual habits, premature ejaculation, lack of communication from couples who have taken step by getting married is the key to help you in your relationship:The effect of your home is that we'll never see eye to eye with your life for saving marriage from divorce or do you believe that you have rough days at the first step is to spend time together once you have spent many years before the sexual downsides issue from the relationship, you must firmly believe that as time progressed.

How To Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It

- Let your spouse has to be a like a very effective in saving man and a priest.Children do not have to forget about the past months.Our country needs an expert would one look to find out the best things that's happened to you however in looking for Mr. Right.And even if this is not planned or trained for.Shelter, renovation, transportation, survival and many other things than just spending your time having to go with the two of you are not as easy as it used to be actively making time for your marriage.

Either one of the most effective save marriage situations that seem impossible to get there.That brings me to save marriage just because you and your spouse is to consider a divorce.According to Stephen R Covey, love is not lost.How you react to the other's face is worth saving, do you know about your partner as another human, who is trained in relationship breakup.By keeping a distance from you, it is important to take place even if your partner will know even about the worst in anyone, go read up on your relationship.