#i mean i like to some degree everything i've published but things that i really wanted to tell i just love

[lenievi]

I’m kinda sad that I haven’t written a proper spones fic for a year (I don’t count the 12dos stuff or the short snippets/whatever because they weren’t things I really wanted to write. They’re like sketches... and kinda like “I should write something”, so I did) and even before that it wasn’t like okay this is IT for a while (and the last fic I was “yes, love this” about I didn’t actually finish, just called it finished because I low-key gave up (maybe I should look at it again and write the third part it always deserved hm it was supposed to include kirk and mccoy scenes so I guess that should go easy now lol)

and it isn’t that I can’t write, obviously, I’m having fun with my mckirk-ish fics, but I’d just really like to write some proper (to me) spones fic lol 

[mtkay13]

So I made those as requested by abscess chemical on twitter and figured it may be fun to share them on tumblr as well. And you know what? Share a break down of my choices as well, because why not! I tried doing it seriously haha.

Zhou Zishu:

Intense - 6/10: He can be very intense, re the things or people he's invested in, but he also has a chill and detached quality to him, a way of being at peace with things that he won't blow things out of proportions.

Complex - 9/10: I think that he's a very nuanced, multi-faceted and deep character, but I guess I didn't go 10/10 just because there's also a very straightforward and easy to get part of him (esp. from WKX's perspective.

Fruity - 2/10: I think the guy's very gay but not the most bombastic about it LBR.

---

Angst-lord: although it's not as obvious in TYK, QY gives us some EXTREMELY tasty ZZS angst and a good look into how ZZS can process things through anxiety. It definitely got more lowkey post-QY canon, but...

Flavor container: IDK what that means really but I wanted to tick it

Soft and sweet: I actually didn't check it on the twitter version initially (but published an erratum). He is described as soft on the inside by too many people not to check it.

Braincell haver: self-explanatory, the guy's brilliant

Chew toy: literally!

----

Tragic backstory: if QY can count as a backstory, then everything that happened with Jiuxiao works.

Frequently violent: duh

Sidekick owner: WKX is ZZS's sidekick from everyone else's perspective (or vice-versa) and my opinion abt it won't change ever.

Pet stray animals: ZCL, for one, and for two we all know he pets cats and raccoons

Chronic insomniac: technically, in TYK, the nails do force the insomnia, but we know from QY that he had a lot of trouble sleeping at night.

Murderer: well

----

Just some guy 95%: clearly he's a natural-born NPC/side character

Too many thoughts 100%: he overthinks everything!!

Awful company 15%: I think that a goofy drunkard like him is fun but not the best company, especially when he goes all grumpy shifu/shixiong

Beloved by all 60%: most characters REALLY like him (and the others don't even know he exists) and often praise how sweet he is. Charming against his will and attempts at being invisible uwu

Trauma x1000 10%: again, I think that the Jiuxiao story left deep scars.

Helps others for fun 70%: pretty much the plot of TYK

Scary-smart 80%: I think he's really brilliant but then you have these moments where he's just clueless abt stupid stuff and clearly doesn't care/doesn't want to know or try so those 20% left are the deliberate goof I guess.

1000 weapons and tools 50/50: it's both!! every rock is both a tool and a weapon and he just keeps pulling random shit from his bosom--

At peace with life 48%: I think, for the most part, he is--at peace with both life and death, until he decides that keeping on living is just the best option in the end.

Break the rules 80%: I had no idea w this one but... in TYK he pretty much does whatever he wants, so---

Extra comments: The way the "evokes" ticks every boxes for me to various degrees of intensity... sigh It was difficult for the "want them to have" section since I think he has everything post-canon, but I tried seeing it from a mid!canon perspective.

----------------------------

Wen Kexing

Intense - 9/10: While WKX's feelings are generally cold, they seem equally intense to me, just like his eyes or his stare. He's intense about his love, about his revenge, about his plans.

Complex - 6/10: I've had interesting convos about how WKX is... nuanced, of course, but not as complex or deep as it may seem on the surface. That doesn't take anything from how interesting he is, but he is rather straightforward in what he is, ultimately.

Fruity - 8/10: I MEAN--

----

Enemy of the State: he's literally THE main Jianghu villain

Flavor Container: I still don't know what it means but it felt right once again

Braincell haver: the guy is EXTREMELY smart and outsmarted everyone in TYK so yeah

----

Tragic backstory: can hardly do worse than parents murdered in front of you, ate your dad to survive, took care of a child in the wildest, most dangerous part of jianghu, fought to reach the top while "serving" the previous master........ He scored it all!

Orphan: again, fully checks out

Frequently violent: yes

Has enemies: in SPADES

Sidekick owner: GX and ZZS are WKX's sidekicks 100%

Murderer: yes

----

The antagonist of life 70%: had to change from protag to antag because he IS the TYK antagonist (if TYK had been a traditional wuxia from ZCL's perspective...); of course it ends up being subverted but you know

Too many thoughts 75%: I think he's a big thinker as well

Awful company 85%: Let's be real guys

Hated by all 30%: I think he's too underestimated or not even really acknowledged enough to be hated, but I am pretty sure that more people dislike him than the opposite

Trauma x1000 60%: well.......... I think he has a bunch!

Sadistic for fun 15% : I doubt he's one to like helping and we know him to have those sadistic tendencies

Scary-smart 80%: same reasoning as for ZZS

1000 weapons or tools: mostly bare handed for everything save for the occasional whip or walnut shell but---

Enemy of god 35%: I have to be honest I don't really know what that means but I guess he's defied death a few times!!!

Break the rules 95%: WKX shits on the rules

----

Additional notes:

Mostly ticks everything in the "evokes" categories as well, but I unticked "symptoms of projection" because I don't feel like I project much of anything on WKX... maybe? (save for the ZZS lewding.. LOL) always hard to say, IG we always do a bit of that on every character, eh

and The Horny ofc because i'm kinda known for not really lewding my good WKX atp

I want a lot of things for him during canon, but again, all I can think of is how post-canon WKX really got it and then I gush and am simply happy for him.

That's it thank you for reading this mostly unnecessary breakdown!!!! Edit, following a comment asking for the sheet:

[messrsrobyn]

for your anon concerned about tokenism which is a very important thing, it truly is. but what made me go easy on myself was realizing that fanfic is kinda not the place people should go for when looking for rep? now let me explain. it’s not that fics shouldn’t have rep, or that fic writers are exempted from having to incorporate it, because i don’t think it’s neither here and there. that’s not the argument we should be having. we should have rep in proper media, in things that actually make an impact in the world. that’s where the rep should happen and we should advocate for that etc etc. we also should be mindful of what we consume and how we do it and see if we only engage with cishet westernized stuff. but aside from that, if people are demanding from fic writers those things it’s kinda weird to me. like, my dude, you love the whitest, most cishet work of all times and that’s fine with you, but this random writer from xique xique bahia (brazilians will understand my joke) has to know all the intricacies of being a teen in the 70s in wales? or else they’re not doing a good work? like, maybe…! go read books that are diverse and engage in those fandoms too. a lot of HC are just like that anon said, so widely spread that just makes sense. desi harry is very dear to me. even if i also vibe with latino james. idk man, i think we can call off straight up problematic stuff. racist stuff. but if you go into fics trying to be educated maybe open a proper book and like, don’t expect fics to be a manifesto? i just want to see gay people kissing. and i think that’s the gist of it, i read books, i study, i educate myself so when i go into fanfiction im expecting to have a good time. i can also find amazing political stuff in it, but i don’t demand an academic work from writers. but some people are so braindead nowadays that the thought of actually opening a book and studying it too time consuming. so, anyways, yes please don’t be racist don’t be weird don’t be creepy, but also guys, maybe y’all should take fanfic less seriously and engage with other things outside of fandom.

I COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF ‼️‼️‼️

the beauty of fanfiction is how chill it is !!! which is something that's been lost recently with all the moral debates (noisy jegulus haters, i'm looking at you and frowning) !!!

i'm doing a lit + pol degree, and that really shows the difference for me. yes, whilst i read these works for university i'm picking apart everything, i'm cross-referencing it with the politics of the time and how they've developed, at the back of my mind i've always got this idea of representation.

i don't with fanfiction. because that's not the point.

fanfiction is the a FREE and OPEN resource. we don't have to worry about whether publication companies find value in our ideas, we don't have to worry about whether our words hold as much worth as others. we just Write.

people get too concerned with the morality of fanfic, they expect perfection from people Doing A Hobby. and i get it, i get where frustrations come from, but at the end of the day this is a bit of fun.

and yes, diversity is SO important but at the end of the day, fanfiction is already the most diverse form of media out there. if you want deeper explorations, either write them, or take your frustrations out on the core material that fandoms are derived from. take your frustrations out on the fact that we have to add diversity to fandom spaces because it's not in original media.

fanfiction is fun, it's a hobby and i am getting So So So tired of people nitpicking and deciding what words have worth when that's the exact reason i criticise official publishers.

BONUS YAP: "i think that big authors needs to step up and-" NO ‼️‼️‼️ just because they have more hits does not mean fandom etiquette doesn't apply. just because their works have more kudos does not mean they owe anything !! maybe stop putting people who are Having Fun with a Hobby on a pedestal to be your moral light.

IT'S ALL SO FRUSTRATING IM SORRY. every time i open tiktok it takes a year off my life because it's not even FUN anymore 😭 why are we policing everything

[pathologicalreid]

I totally agree with you Margot the only thing I always have to laugh about is the ,,don‘t kinkshame!!1!1“ cause Idgaf.

if you openly talk, unasked, about your kinks and it involved some dark shit I will not not shame.

kinky people are not some type of oppressed group and I wish people would put that energy of ,,don‘t use normal when you mean vanilla, it could offend people!!“ and use it for real issues.

as a woc I‘m just so tired of the babying of kinky people, especially if they start talking about raceplay or ageplay, I will not hesitate to shame you for being so open about it idc.

i've been trying so hard to be kind to this group of anons that have started sprouting in people's inboxes, and while i'd like to encourage a thoughtful and educated discussion on the harm of kink culture and the way race play is an example of enabling systemic racism - my blog where i write criminal minds fanfiction is really not the place for you to spread this anonymously. or at all, for that matter.

i've discussed previously that when kinks are mishandled, people can get hurt. that's why i've emphasized the importance of RACK and SSC philosophies on this blog. i maintain a very surface level persona because the last thing i want to do on here is step on toes. this blog was created to provide me with one thing and one thing only: a creative outlet while i was in grad school. i'm out of grad school now, and i've been lucky enough to gain friends through this blog, so i've chosen to continue with my time here.

if you want to kink shame people, that's your prerogative. you're entitled to your own opinion and it's not my wish to get in the way of that, but if you continue to spread this information in the inboxes of myself and my friends, i will not hesitate to block you in the future. for anyone who wants to come into my inbox and anonymously spread information about the kind of smut people write, i will begin blocking people.

you know very little about me. you know my name is margot. you know i'm 22. you know i have a master's degree. but by saying that you wish people would use their energy for real issues, you are implying that you believe i do not. this isn't the case, but i'm not going to waste my energy trying to prove to you that i'm what you would qualify as a good person. i do not need your approval.

there is a time and place for everything. my fanfiction blog is not the place for this conversation. i'm trying so hard to be kind to you when i implore you to read the room, and find the correct forum for to you to air your grievances.

if you need a place to start, researchgate has some published dissertations on the racist implications of race play, perhaps one of those authors would enjoy having this conversation with you.

[sillyfairygarden]

fic writer interview

tem so lovingly tagged me in this and i am eager to procrastinate... okayyy fic time

How many works do you have on AO3?

12 beautiful sweet angels living on a cloud. cloud is called ao3 island. (yes this number is one higher than you will find on my page...) that number saddens me a bit because if i went through old pseuds/deleted fics, and other platforms it's probably closer to 40! but alas. many such cases of deleting my digital footprint U_U

What's your total AO3 word count?

good god i have 145k words of minecraft fanfiction out there. that is so scary.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

at the invitation of any desire: (this one just kind of. blows my mind away that it's in this position because this fic felt like a fever dream)

the first disciple: this is just. AUUUGHH

but oh, the bloom: my sweet sugarplum daughter with many illnesses

4 and 5 are a faint slash of tenderness and you are here to risk your heart, which makes me so happy to see these sister stories together.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

stares at the (184) next to my inbox. blinks. well here's the thing. i LOVE the ecosystem of comments on ao3 and i've always been a big believer in comment writing. however 😭 sometimes i don't know what to say! i feel blown away that people take the time to leave such long, detailed comments for some of my works (you know who you are) and those really are long term fuel for my heart.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

of my currently published fics, no number exists for griefs like these. i'm not a common purveyor of the major character death tag, but it was a little fun and silly.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

oh god. i've written a lot of bittersweet endings recently, as i'm going through my own works and going sad--bittersweet--sad--bad--bittersweet as i work my way down the lines so... i suppose the happiest "ending" to a fic would be a single pale rose. where it's really just a story of early beginnings (without an ending of its own stamped on)

Do you write crossovers?

i'll admit. a crossover is a hard-sell for me mostly because i have to feel invested enough in BOTH fields of media to really Get invested. unforties i know like 0.6 media so that's a pretty limited genre for me. i've read a smattering of good crossover fics across my years but i'll tentatively leave that in the hands of writers who have that genre of brainrot.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

when i think of like, old-school style fic trashing, nah not really. i've gotten a handful of oddball comments with varying degrees of dismissal, distaste, or hilarious confusion towards the story over the years, but genuinely they're truly drops in the ocean.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes i looooove writing smut and raunchy times. i just think explorations of intimacy and trust and bodies through sex in stories is so cool. vulnerability and shame are these topics i feel endlessly, constantly inspired and impassioned by.

there's this incredibly niche range of erotic and emotionally sensual that i love to read/write within. unforties this means i have to write most of the smut i want to read... SAD!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

NO....

Have you ever had a fic translated?

my own attempts to poorly practice translations on my own fics have gone. badly. and also no.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

definitely no <3 i've dabbled in the idea but i'm very individualistic and a bit prideful when it comes to autonomy in my work. i don't think co-writing stories is something i enjoy, but i love playing-off other people with ideas, characters, etc.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

okay, backing up from the mcyt bubble (where SORRY none of these ships really hold weight) all time favourite ships of mine are fakiru, chrobin, bubbline, utenthy, catradora, usamamo, many such yuries. if you squint you will see the shadow of these ships in everything i create forever and ever <3

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

oh man. i've posted two of those unfinished fragment-fics (where, they were intended to be much longer but never took off) in to be wild and the champion's banquet. ultimately there's many more, stories i started in old fandoms that lost their spark, ideas that once tied me to certain creators i no longer support, concepts and outlines that will never get the dedicated time they deserve to bloom.

in total i probably have an extra ~100k of unpublished writing between different unfinished stories, drafts, wips, and ideas (and that's a modest guess, as the last time i counted was early 2023).

What are your writing strengths?

i loooove personification and descriptions and metaphors. i think it's so fun to join words and sentences together via descriptions, flow, and imagery that's different than you might expect. i think i write emotional messiness relatively well (as i looove a little hypocrisy and unreliable narration) and overall i just like writing about people and love and the human condition. PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH!

What are your writing weaknesses?

sometimes i do, in fact, get lost in the sauce. i think i've over-corrected for a slow pacing issue by now rushing through scenes, and it kills tension. it makes action/suspenseful writing REALLY hard. you guys have no idea how much i struggled on there's a room where the light won't find you, my action-filled piece for hgcz.

also i HATE titles oh my god. titles we're meeting in the back of a dark room and i've got a weapon

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

so i've kind of flip-flopped here. i was in the camp of "cringe" on this for awhile, and then i wrote light is burning as i am yearning where i used galactic in-line with the dialogue and sort of loved it. the main reason it felt so cohesive was i wanted the reader to sort of lose understanding of what was happening alongside the character. in that aspect, i think the galactic

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

h. hetalia (my ffnet account is backdated to 2010 <3)

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

ohhhh within this fandom, i'm really keen to write gempearl at some point or convex. from outside the mcyt sphere, i have a really soft spot for some older series i loved but didn't have the confidence/prowess to explore ideas about that i'd love to go back and write for. so like personal passion projects i suppose

What's your favorite fic you've written?

god i oscillate on this question so much. right now it's the first disciple simply by merit of recency bias. sometimes i think a story or idea comes into my life to challenge me, and to provide me a mountain to overcome in myself, and i'm finding this story to be an example.

i love writing and talking about stories. my art feels like an endless way to tell stories about ideas, characters, bodies, and humanity: through writing and artwork i hope to continue to be a storyteller.

and now to tag people <3 i'm calling upon the hgcz writer's guild! if you've already done this, please feel free to ignore the tag @mochiwrites @boonbeenblade @theminecraftbee @droidofmay @alicenotalice @kayawolfhorse

[buckybarnesss]

on fire: a teen wolf novel chapters 1-3

on fire was published on july 17, 2012. the day after raving had aired during the show's second season.

it was written by nancy holder who has written many, many tie-in books for multiple franchises but most notably she wrote novels for the buffyverse.

by tapping nancy holder to write the novel confirms to me that mtv was trying to do what teen wolf's spiritual predecessors did and create tie-in novels with the show and on fire was testing the waters for that.

it did not succeed because teen wolf doesn't have the kind of space for that. the timeline is too tight. teen wolf was part of the new netflix binge era. it had a seasons of 12 episodes that were wall-to-wall plot. there weren't silly filler episodes and they didn't do monster of the week plots.

on fire assumes that you have seen episodes 1-5 of the show but it is also an AU of season 1 post-the tell.

i get the vibe that the author was given notes, some information or like an outline that she used to build a plot so it's interesting to see what tid-bits holder uses and refers to that still gel with canon or is consistent with what we know.

this isn't a novelization of season 1 that's for sure but, hey, i took notes.

i'm going to break the novel up into 3 chapter chunks.

so without further ado let's get into it. on fire: a teen wolf novel or as i've been thinkin of it as.

the novel starts right at the very end of the tell after the parent teacher conferences. 

the way it's described when argent shoots the mountain lion brings to mind the scene in to kill a mockingbird when atticus shoots the rabid dog. chris argent is no atticus finch but he sure does learn to walk a mile in someone else's shoes doesn't he?

i somehow always manage to forget that the tell is the episode where allison turns 17. she doesn’t live to see her 18th birthday. shot through the heart man. 

oh my fucking god scott. the way this is written i imagine holder is trying to invoke derek and kate as if there’s some wild age gap between him and allison when they're like 9 months apart in age. allison is not kate jesus chris. look at this shit:

“scott hadn’t known allison was seventeen, a year older than the other kids in their class -- older than him -- and didn’t want anyone to know.”

Fuck Rafael McCall. Meet me outside and catch these hands.

“he knew his dad wasn’t keeping up with child support payments. not that his mom had ever mentioned it.”

this is where the transition into heart monitor would be. it is a pretty terrifying dream scott has. peter’s such a dramatic bitch. scott’s dreaming of being in the woods with everything on fire and then he’s being compelled by peter to come kill with him. which just reinforces my whole thing about peter and scott being psychically connected. we don’t see this with any other alpha-beta connection to this degree. derek senses victoria killing scott in raving but we really do not get this in the show very much as it seems to be a Dark Sided power. but we do see peter use it again in season 6a with the whole “you were my beta first” scene. 

scott mentions stiles’s having ADHD so to me that means that nancy holder was definitely working with the idea that stiles does have it. stiles having ADHD seems like a plot thread that got dropped really quickly by the show but remained in dylan’s acting choices and in fandom’s mind.

scott is the only beta we see experience sleepwalking episodes. it seems tied to the compulsion and mental link he shares with feral alpha peter.

the entire paragraph is something. firstly, it wasn't until night school, the episode after this one, that peter tried to push scott into killing his “pack”. but lol melissa called stiles scott’s “litter mate” and stiles wearing his target shirt that he wore in wolf moon and the one that subtextually could reference the nemeton and eventually scott's pack symbol. i don't believe we ever actually saw that shirt again. the tragedy.

“stiles had on his bullseye t-shirt, and it kind of freaked scott out when he wore it. as if it meant that stiles were a target. They both knew the Alpha wanted Scott to kill him to cement Scott’s acceptance that he was a member of the Alpha’s pack. Who better to take down than the guy Scott’s mom had once referred to as his “litter mate”?”

this is where it's starting to get kind of weird because the plot of this book takes place during season 1 but it’s not strictly following the plot. it feels like an alternate season 1.

jackson has gone missing. when is he not missing is the more appropriate question? 

so chapter 2 starts with scott and stiles joining lydia and allison at The Popular Kids Table to discuss jackson being missing. this wouldn’t have happened in season 1. this dynamic didn’t exist until at minimum season 3. lydia didn’t even acknowledge stiles’s existence until the winter formal at the end of the season. 

jackson’s parents apparently went to paris right after the parent-teacher conference, leaving their high school age child alone for an extended period of time in the middle of the school year? what? no wonder jackson’s fucked up. why didn’t they just go around christmas and instead they waited another three weeks or some shit. that is weird.

jackson’s been left a note from a supposed private investigator about his birth parents while his parents are out of town, which is totally not sus at all. 🙄🙄 lydia's concerned about him looking stupid so she won’t go to the sheriff and she doesn’t even approach jackson’s best friend danny. like, danny would know a lot more about jackson than scott or stiles would. lydia, i know allison is the one who involved scott but for fuck’s sake. 

look even a page later lydia says “he and jackson barely know each other.” then why are you involving scott in what you seem to believe is a personal matter? 

do people just generally know jackson was adopted? i can see lydia knowing but scott and stiles? allison just fucking moved there so she doesn’t know anything about anyone. this is quite the personal piece of information i doubt he’d want others to know lydia. 

this is such an AU because after the parent-teacher conference stiles was giving scott the cold shoulder due to his dad being hurt. 

also stiles is supposedly sitting at this table the entire time lydia, allison and scott are talking and has not given his opinion on the matter yet. very unlike him. if there's one thing stiles has it's opinions on jackson and his father's job. stiles would be all over this.

this fucking line is brutal man -- “stiles was the only person on the planet who knew he had become a werewolf. well, derek knew, too, but derek hardly counted as a person.” that said, i do think it’s accurate to scott’s headspace at this point regarding derek. avoiding seeing derek as a person is a way of detaching himself from the situation he’s found himself in. 

alright so we’ve got a POV change to allison --a nd it’s all about how cute acott is. allison I love you but chill please. 

okay so this is interesting. “her mom had been angry, too. allison could tell that if had been left up to her, she wouldn’t have been so harsh about having to stay all weekend. her mom liked scott.” are we sure we’re talking about the same victoria argent? granted this is pre-werewolf reveal so as far as victoria knows allison is just mooning over a nice normal human boy but i have a hard time imagining this being the same victoria who gave us the crazy eyes and the sharpening your dick metaphor.

this still haunts me.

"except i won’t get to spend time with scott except at school until i’m, oh, 112.” oh right in the feels

this book really assumes you’ve seen episodes 1-5 of the first season. allison’s mentioning aunt kate and the necklace in a way that makes the assumption the reader knows who and what they are. 

jackson’s password for his tracking app is “captain”. that is worse than the password being lydia or like scott famously having allison as his password. y’all suck and have shitty computer security.

these kids are sophomores in high school and lydia and allison are really having a discussion about jackson going to a pay by the hour motel as if that’s a thing 15-16 year olds do in the california subburbs on a regular basis. as if jackson would lower himself in such a way to begin with. he’s snobby as fuck. it’s such a weird conversation.

i am page 20 and i feel like so far this author hasn’t been very nice to stiles. not having him say a word in the lunch conversation about jackson despite not only being very opinionated about jackson whittermore’s general existence he’d also have thoughts on a missing person. like, he didn’t even speak when his dad was brought up as a possible avenue of help which is odd. then about a page later there’s this sort of tone used around stiles that feels condescending about him being hyperactive.

this paragraph is, uh, something that could’ve only been written in 2012 because it feels gross:

“lydia shrugged. then she turned to allison. “tell you what. if the boys are willing to the motel for us ---” “to a motel. to look for a guy,” stiles said. ”maybe you should ask danny?” danny, their lacrosse team goalie, was gay, out and proud. “he could act, you know, more casual about it.”

that said, it does track with stiles being overly occupied with the perception of his sexuality and that danny does shit he’s way too young to be doing which is written around his sexuality. remember the whole older boyfriend and going to the jungle thing is season 2? 

it has been like 23 pages and allison’s got this subplot where she wants to have sex with scott. like girlie you’ve known scott for 2 days, keep your pants on. (it keeps coming up with scott too and it's annoying, okay).

it took stiles barely a paragraph to mention derek hale when the point of view switched to him. sir. 

i’m laughing at how derek’s point of view is paired with stiles in the way that scott and allison’s are. even in the non-canon book the Sterek Agenda is there. 

“a prankster with a wicked sense of humor.” is what derek refers to peter as before the fire. is that what we are calling it derek because i would disagree.

“i dreamed of other alphas coming after me. why? it’s not a crime to kill an alpha. i’m a werewolf. the way we progress in status is through challenge.” now this is an interesting perspective. werewolves progress via challenges. that's still sort of in-line with what we see in canon.

allison and scott are driving into the seedier side of town. AKA what seems to be where the poors live. scott describes seeing boarded up buildings, pawn shops and “some kind of clinic where you could sell your blood.” which I assume is a plasma center where people donate and get paid in return and this little classist shit says “remind me to never get a blood transfusion.” god he’s such a 16 year old..

i saw kate's name on the next page where chapter 4 is

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

Dudeeee you work in a cancer cell research lab?? That's insanely cool and I'm really really curious how you got into this field and what you do for your job because I'm also interested in pursuing a career that involves working The Cool Lab but I'm so. Lost???

Yes I do and I'm so glad you asked! Getting into scientific research can be kind of confusing for someone without a background in it so I'm totally willing to help out!

Fair warning before we start, all of the info I'll be giving you pertains to pursuing a career in biological/biomedical research. I can't speak for how to get into other fields like chemical or engineering research because I don't work in them.

First and foremost, what exactly you wanna do is tied to your level of education. I have a bachelors of science degree in biology, and if all you wanna do is work as a lab technician, that's all you need. Lab technicians do the day-to-day lab work like keeping the machines up and running, performing simple experiments, ensuring everything is in stock, assisting in data collection, and keeping the place from burning down. I got this job 3 months after graduating college and the reasons I got this job are because 1) my degree is biology meant I already knew the basics about cancer cells and all the other biological factors that impact them and 2) I had a ton of hands on lab experience when I was an undergrad. I volunteered in a lab during my undergraduate and got a ton of hands on experience with basic lab skills like gel electrophoresis, PCR, and biosafety skills.

All that being said, only a bachelors does mean you'll hit a wall eventually and not be able to do more without another higher degree. For example, while I do run a bunch of fancy cytometers and nanoparticle analyzers and aid in data collection for research projects, I do not create any of my own research projects nor do I publish anything. If you're interested in heading research projects, you will need to pursue a higher degree like a masters or PhD in biology or biomedical research or another field that interests you.

The nice thing about being a lab technician though is you're not stuck. If you get a bachelors, find a position as a lab technician, and find you want to pursue that higher degree, your lab job makes your application for these programs look amazing since you already have a ton of hands on experience. I could quit my job and get into a masters or PhD program within the next application cycle because of all the experience I've gotten.

Now, as for how to find these jobs, I recommend checking universities, which is where I'm currently employed. Individual research labs headed by a principal investigator (or PI for short, which is some who holds a PhD and is in charge of the lab and all of its research projects) always need lab technicians or lab assistants. The only issue is that most of these places are grant funded meaning the money could run out and you'd be out of a job. Of course you'll get plenty of heads up and usually when this happens another lab in the same department can hire you, but I know some people don't like the instability.

If you're looking for something more stable as a lab technician, I recommend finding what is called a core facility to work at. A core facility is a facility that houses and contains a bunch of super expensive lab equipment that is shared among researchers because it's too expensive for individual researchers to purchase. For example, a microscope core facility would have electron microscope that various researchers could use as those are often far too expensive for one lab to purchase and use on their own.

I work as a lab technician in a core facility and I'm not gonna say the specialty because it's pretty niche and I don't want to accidentally doxx myself. My main job is to keep those shared machines (most of which cost $300k or more a piece) up and running and able to consistently produce quality data for various researchers in the department, which is a cancer cell biology department. Additionally, my job is technically a university job and therefore I don't have to worry about a grant running out of money. I really like my job because it is stable and consistent but there's enough variation between all the researchers I help to keep it interesting.

Sorry for how long this post is! I know I rambled a lot but I also know that getting into and navigating this field can be kind of confusing for people who don't know someone in it. I hope this helps clarify a few things!

[wetcatspellcaster]

I hope this isn't too personal. If it is, I apologize and you can obviously ignore it! But you've mentioned how there was a period where you were going through some stuff and stopped writing. I had the same thing happen, and things are better (yay for both of us getting through Stuff), but my writing still hasn't come back, and it's been years. I know you said BG3 itself helped bring it back, but did you do anything to help force yourself back into writing mode? Just wondering if you had any tips or anything. Thanks!

hey anon, I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling to write. I'm going to do my best to answer but I've found writers block to be a highly personal thing so I'm not sure what I did works for everyone!

I've had two periods of writing block - one was years long due to having a high pressure university degree and then general life stuff after (18-26) the other was due to depression and something in a fandom upsetting me to the point where I didn't want to interact anymore.

So the first piece of advice I have is, work out what the root cause of the issue is, and address it! Which sucks! It's basically therapy! It feels very silly to even be advising it. But for my first writers block I realised I was putting too much pressure on myself - I wanted everything I wrote to be Meaningful and Perfect - so I devised the silliest and most entertaining writing project I could ever imagine for myself and got rid of expectation, and this broke through the block entirely. I began thinking of writing as a hobby I do for fun rather than a vocation or future profession, etc. I came to this drug late, so people who've been writing fic for longer probably won't find that novel - but I did! For the second issue, I took a break and then I readjusted how I interact with fandom. I probably seem quite antisocial at times to others, but I've just changed my boundaries to make it so I'm comfortable and so I keep writing. I realised that I didn't like the grounds on which I'd been operating on ao3 so I changed them - the block shifted again.

Often, it's not the writing that you're struggling with, necessarily, it's something else in the mix that's preventing you from doing it. See if you can find out what that is!

The second part of your question is 'how do you force writing back'... I don't think you can, honestly. Placing pressure on yourself, I've found, always backfires. But my advice for getting started writing again after a break is as follows:

Make a really fun project, as silly or cringe or self-indulgent as possible. Something you are genuinely excited about putting down on paper. Something that feeds you specifically. from a favourite maladaptive daydream, to a silly one shot, to a laundry list of all your favourite fictional things.

If you feel like you literally can't write sentences, bullet point something instead. This means that you won't feel guilt about losing the idea you've had, but also i've found that whenever I return to bullet points, it's easier to start writing bc it's not a blank page. Whatever your notes are, I promise they will be useful. If you write them in a low energy time and come back to them at a higher energy time, even better, bc past-you has literally set up a little springboard for you once you have the bandwidth to jump!

Reduce pressure. This one is very personal so it'll seem vague. Reducing pressure could be not publishing anything until it's finished. Reducing pressure could be publishing or sharing with friends immediately, so you get support and motivation to help you keep going and don't feel like you're working alone. Reducing pressure could be to pick the easiest project you have first, so you do something that maybe feels simplistic at the time, but it helps you build confidence for facing more ambitious projects later.

I don't know if any of that is helpful, but I've honestly found that for me, keeping writing as fun as possible has been what allows me to keep doing it. Any time I feel anxiety or stress creeping in, I try to remind myself of that by any means necessary.

[goombasa]

I Read Scott McCloud's Comics Trilogy Recenlty

So yeah, for anyone who doesn't know, Scott McCloud is a pretty big deal in the comics scene, one of the guys who helped to draft up the Creator's Bill of Rights, and has done a lot of major work independently and at major publishers, and near as I can tell, one of the first pretty big creators to actively campaign for the creativity of things like Webcomics. But he's probably most well known nowadays for his non-fiction educational work mostly centered around comic books.

And I finally bought and read all three of them. The ‘Comics Trilogy’ as I've taken to calling cosists of:

Understanding Comics (1993)

Reinventing Comics (2000)

Making Comics (2006)

And this trilogy is incredibly dense with information about the medium, where it was at, and where it was going. In fact, while there are several degrees of separation between each book (about 6-7 years or so), it is very impressive just how fresh and relevant almost all of the information in this trilogy manages to be. Yes, they do show their age in some ways; both Reinventing Comics and Making Comics refer to both the internet and things like drawing tablets as though they were still pretty new and unexplored technology. However, all three of them contain some very astute observations about where Comics as a medium is going and it's really fascinating to see how close to the bull's eye Mr. McCloud was on so many counts.

Discounting that though, these are just interesting to read because all three of them ask you to really examine WHY comic books as a medium work. Understanding Comics for example, serves as a very concise history of comics as a whole and tries to put a decent definition on what qualifies as being a comic (a task that it doesn't entirely succeed at, by Scott's own examination, but it very much gets you thinking on words and pictures, what separates them and how they can be intertwined into a story.

Reinventing comics is more about the potential of the medium and I'll admit, its more philosophical tone on the potential of comics was a bit much for me. I had trouble processing and digesting everything in this book compared to Understanding or Making. I certainly understood what it was going for, and again, this book, out of all three, is fascinating to read with about twenty years of hindsight, as Scott manages to bang-on predicted most of the trends that would come into the medium down the line. Just probably not in the ways he was expecting them to. It's still a very interesting read, but I'll admit, I had a lot more trouble following it than I did the other two books and I had to go back and reread a few sections to full feel like I was grasping the full meaning on a lot of what was said, but it was still a very interesting read.

The third in the series, Making Comics is probably the most straightforward, but this isn't like an online tutorial. Instead it's more like a lengthy instruction manual presenting you with the tools and ideas that can be used to build a comic beyond your skill as an artist. How to letter, how to frame a shot, when you should use captions or sound effects or word balloons. It gives a very detailed overview of everything you'd need to know in order to make your own comics from a practical standpoint. It makes some suggestions on the tools or software to use, but for the most part, it's more about giving you a proper overview of the craft rather than a tutorial for specific tools or software. That's easy enough to find elsewhere on the internet.

I think the reason these books work so well is the way they are presented; They are comic books. They aren't just books that talk about comics, they are COMICS that talk about comics. This isn't even the first time that I've seen this done. Back when I was in middle and high school, I did have a couple of classes that dabbled in using comics instead of traditional text books to introduce their subject matter. In particular, I was introduced to Larry Gonick's books like “The Cartoon History of the Universe” and “The Cartoon Guide to Genetics.” These books are a bit different than that, as yes, they are specifically educational, but they focus specifically on the medium that they are a part of, and I think that does a lot to convey Scott's arguments about just how far the medium can go, and helps to highlight everything that he's talking about with actual real time examples. That's not to downplay Mr. Gonick's contributions to cartooning and comic books as a potential tool for learning and education of course, he's written a LOT of these books over a multitude of different subjects, but one does have to admit, he is very much an exception rather than the standard.

(for an added recommendation, I'd recommend Larry Gonick's “Hypercapitalism” as well, really worth a read on its own)

These books manage to feel timeless in their subject matter and the way that they talk about the medium. Sadly, Comics as a whole today are still struggling to reach a sort of mainstream acceptance as a respectable medium, and yes, we do have big blockbusters for comic characters nowadays, but really, how many people who watch those movies read the comics those stories are based on? And for those that do read the comics, how many books outside of superhero books published by the Big Two do they read? The comics trilogy lays down the ideas of how the medium could potentially be elevated, and while that hasn't happened yet, I am hopeful for the future. If you have never read these before, and you have any interest in comics as a medium, especially what you can find beyond the standard of a super hero comic, I would really recommend this trilogy. Last I checked, I cannot find them being sold as a set anywhere, but all three of them can be found used for pretty cheap. Heck, even brand new, they don't typically go over $15, and I'd say they're worth every penny. Note that this is referring to paperback copies of the books. There are some hardcover versions floating around out there, but those are much harder to find, and consequently are a lot more expensive, at least for Understanding Comics.

[carlos-in-glasses]

Hii im so glad to hear you like my comments! at some point i worried i was being annoying lol. as for my writing its just been some drafts, i used to be into making visual poems and im gonna start doing em again! though i do also love to have little narrative pieces so im probably gonna rewrite some old stuff and maybe finally write some of the stories in my head! some of which ARE tarlos, i want kidding when i said its scary to read carlos fanfiction as a hispanic person, the steriotyping and bad spanish are REAL 💀 so ig ill try to be the change i wanna see and write some good carlos fics in the future LMAO. also! just wanted to say that in ur rythms fic carlos writing in both languages is such a mood, to me words flow easier in english but then i can get more poetic in spanish, wby? do you write in other languages? id love to hear abt ur process/what you like! ur writing is really amazing and just cozy? lol. hope you have a great day! ALSO yeah gringos dont really use wpp that much! crazy lmao

🐦‍⬛

🐦‍⬛ Hello!! Oh my goodness don't you worry - it's my absolute pleasure to receive feedback like yours! Amazing that you're going to get back into visual poetry!!! Poetry that you can SEE?!! Sounds brilliant. I could never. I love art. I love artists. It makes me so happy that there are so many different kinds of creatives in this fandom. It seems to me that if an arty-type discovers Tarlos...art will happen at some point. It's impossible to resist! ALSO so exciting that you have some narratave works afoot, including Tarlos fic!! I'm certainly relieved to hear that the Spanish in Rhythms rings true enough - I don't speak other languages, so honestly if the Spanish is decent it's a result of research and just trying really really hard to do right by the Reyes fam. I'm also cognisant to what 'poetry translation' actually means. A published translated poem is not literally word-for-word translated, but the meaning translated. I knew that Carlos writing a poem called The Wrestler in English wouldn't necessarily mean a Spanish poem called El Luchador, so it became El Angel. Because that (in my head) is indeed the added romance (as in actually romantic, not Rome) and poeticism that writing in Spanish brought to Carlos. English is a hard language in every sense. It's harsh. It's made up of aspects of many others. It can be beautiful but also ugly, but you can also get away with a pidgin version of it in a way you might not be able to with other languages. I kinda liked the idea of Carlos leaning into the ugliness of English and then turning the same concept into something else with Spanish, and leaning into how one thing can be two different things at the same time. Which is true of so much of life. But that's Carlos' process lol. Mine is more slapdash. I plan for all it's worth, but then writing goes off on a merry journey of its own and I have to wrangle it back. Imagine a string of pearls snapping and going everywhere, and scrabbling to scoop the pearls up. Imagine an orangutan eating the paint of an abacus. Imagine a golden retriever running downhill on an icy road. That is my brain. Also 'rules' about writing? Fuck 'em. Don't tell me not to use the words sigh and chuckle. Don't tell me not to use adverbs (oh adverbs my dearLY beloved). I will use whatever words the characters need in order to be themselves in the story I'm telling, and I will use everything in my broken and shy little soul to make them as real and loud as I can for the reader. I appreciate all fics that do the same - and I can feel it when they do. In fact, that's probably why I've found so many fics that I've LOVED so much more than actual books I've bought off the shelf. The warmth, the non-compliance, the experimentation, the absolute passion. I have a creative writing degree and masters specialising in poetry and fuck it, some of the best writing I've seen in my life is right here in the fandom.

Thank you for your kindness re. my writing and for finding it cosy!!!!!!! Amazing!!! And thank you for teaching me a thing or two about whatsapp. I confronted my friends @lemonlyman-dotcom and @thisbuildinghasfeelings about it after I saw your comment and I was like wtf do you mean Americans don't use it??? It's an American company???? and they were like....sorry??? And then explained the situation. Anyway, for about an hour I really couldn't accept nor face it. But I've calmed down now and you've reminded me I need to go back and edit. But then we lose the fun of Wrestling Whassuppp??? Which was a PLAY ON WORDS!!! Maybe I'll keep it anyway... ❤️

Me trying to explain my writing process:

[fushiglow]

Here's my Ao3 wrapped for 2023!

Although it's nowhere near as impressive as some people's, I'm really proud of my writing achievements this year, both on and off my Ao3 account. This is just for my own motivation, so I've collaged together a few different templates I've seen online. Feel free to use it for your own if you like!

Words written this year: 45,705 words published over six months! Now where was this motivation to write during my degrees...?

Works published this year: Five published works for Jujutsu Kaisen, four of which are complete.

Work I'm most proud of: Over the Threshold — for a million different reasons! I've never approached a work with this level of attention to themes and motifs before. I lose perspective sometimes, but it's very fulfilling to write, especially because the setting is personally important to me.

Work that readers enjoyed most: Rivers Crossed, Mountains Scaled — at least judging from kudos and bookmarks. That was a surprise to me considering it's only around a week old! However, the investment readers have shown in the comments on Over the Threshold means *everything* to me.

Fastest work to write: Dream a Little Dream — I wrote it over a few hours at work because of a prompt that captured my imagination. This is *wildly* fast for me!

Slowest work to write: I would say Over the Threshold because it's still a WIP, but let's go with Rivers Crossed, Mountains Scaled because it was in my drafts for six months before I did anything with it.

Number of WIPs I'm taking into 2024: Including Over the Threshold, I think 10 or 11? Most of them are part of a series about Megumi and Gojō's relationship that I've been working on for ages, and there are tons more half-baked ideas flying around that I hope I can flesh out eventually. I wish I was a faster writer!

Favourite character to write: Basic of me, but it's Gojō. No matter how much I write him or study his character, I still never know whether I'm getting it quite right. I find that really addictive!

Favourite line/passage I wrote this year: I feel spoilt for choice which is a pretty nice feeling to have about myself! I'm really proud of the celestial imagery in chapter five of Over the Threshold. It's woven throughout the whole chapter, but if I had to pick one passage, it would probably be this one:

It was simply the truth of the universe that some stars burned brighter than others, and Satoru’s was among the brightest. He shone so brilliantly that the rabble were forced to avert their eyes, bowing their heads in worship of his lonely light. Suguru didn’t want to be part of the rabble. [...] If it was the price he had to pay for really seeing Satoru, Suguru would rather let his retinas burn than look away.

Honourable mention to this description from Dream a Little Dream:

Her eyes instantly found his — wide pools of endless blue in motion peering at her from across the room. He was silhouetted against the window frame, shōji pulled open to reveal the clear and colourless dawn that was breaking beyond. It was still too early for the sun to paint the sky in daubs of orange and rouge, but the monochrome world outside cast the Six Eyes into even sharper relief.

Thank you to everyone who has supported my work this year, whether through leaving wonderful comments that light up my entire week or simply following along. I appreciate every single one of you!

Honestly, I'd love to talk more about my fics but it feels like a vain thing to do unless invited. So, if you ever have any questions or anything, ping them my way and I would *love* to chat with you!

Happy New Year, everyone!

[iamacolor]

Oh I wasn't saying that you said they had the same degree of care I was just in general saying that no one can tell me that I phrases it wrong and yeah fandom has become so backwards in a way it's a very feminist "girlboss" veneer but a 1700s witch trials interior it's not kdramas exclusively it's all Asian shows as well as American ones. You should've seen the discussion regarding the latest bridgerton season it's the exact same thing everything is he's so downbad he's such a looser in love and I've been watching shows from all over the place for a while and it wasn't like this. It's not only fandoms it's also creators and they feed into each other in a sort of snake eating its own tale way, the trend is people want to see relationships like this so writers write more and then fandom eats it up and it goes on and on. Sometimes it feels condescending because romance as a fantasy for women has been there for centuries but this thing where almost every romance is man willing to do anything for woman he loves woman who only reacts is an issue and you really have to be doing it on purpose because I think the natural way to write a couple is two people who navigate things together and take turns helping and supporting and loving eo.

oh okay i see what you mean (also i wasn't sure when i replied if it was all the same person or not so i felt a little defensive) "very feminist "girlboss" veneer but a 1700s witch trials interior" lmaooo that's definitely the vibes of some discourse i've seen happening on twitter lately or even on tumblr a few years ago

and yeah to everything else you've said, my answer to the previous ask was basically a lot of this lol i really do think a lot of it stems from people wanting to see/write something that shows what women should receive from a man and how men should behave but then the only thing left to do a lot of the time for women is to react and even that can end up being criticised if it so much as upsets the male lead lol feminism isn't just about how women should be treated by others it's also about how they should be able to act and take place in the world and the roles they can take with those around them

it's interesting that you mentioned bridgerton because although i haven't watched this season this is a dynamic i've observed a lot in romance novels as well - especially in historical ones where it's often tied up with the traditional gender roles in marriage which is almost always at the core of the story with men literally being the providers and the owners - changes are definitely happening in the romance novel world thanks to a lot of indie/self published authors who can be a little bit more free when it comes to catering to a wide audience because they can decide to target a more "niche" audience but when it comes to tv, production is often tied to more conventional formulas.

and it's also important to point out that to many people seeing a man happily devoted to a woman, to see a man's interests be put second, to see a man put a woman's happiness first, that's already progressive (and again it's so often not the case irl - we have rising numbers of feminicides and divorces and still a very unequal sharing of domestic chores in most householdes etc) which is why i think it's more a question of trying to bring more types of relationships to the screen (to also highlight the depth of women's feelings and passions) than it is a question of getting rid of these kind of stories because they do have a role to play if only in offering a little escape - i definitely enjoy some of that!

[katierosefun]

tagged by @b1uetrees! thank you for the tag buddy!

do you make your bed? i try, the operating word being try. i used to be really good at making my bed, but for the last few weeks, i've been lucky to just straighten out my sheets and pile my pillows on the right way before darting around to make myself breakfast and wash my face.

what's your favourite number? i've always really liked 12 for some reason. maybe because i associate it with the year of the dragon, which is the zodiac year i'm born in?

what is your job? i'm a second-year law student. i think the closest i have to a job right now is that i'm a student attorney (which has been very exciting, because it's definitely aligned with what i want to do after graduation), and this coming summer, i'll be working at a law firm (which is also exciting. everyone pray i don't screw up)

If you could go back to school would you? i mean, would i pursue more education after getting my current degree? i'm not sure. i've played with the idea of getting an mfa for a while now, but also? i think mfa's cost so much money, and the rewards aren't always very tangible. so it depends on how financially comfortable i am and if i can figure out a way to get into publishing without an mfa haha!

can you parallel park? i don't know how to drive, so nope

a job you had that would surprise people? i always get questions about what the heck a costume stock keeper does, but for a short while, i was a costume stock keeper. which basically meant that i organized the costume stock room in my college's theater department. it was really cool, because we had a huge stock room, and my bosses were people who actually worked in a lot of really cool movies, so that was neat!

do you think aliens are real? i have to think so! like, the universe is so big--how can there not be other things out there?

can you drive a manual car? i can drive a golf car. does that count?

what's your guilty pleasure? not really certain if i feel guilty about this yet . . . i guess watching kinda bad old kdramas? (like . . . i know there are some tropes that we've left behind in the early 2010s/early 2000s, but what can i say--some classics are classics, even if some of the stories wouldn't fly in 2024.)

tattoos? none right now, although i've been wondering if i want to get a tattoo before i graduate law school. i think i want to get a constellation somewhere on my bicep. but also, i get so scared of something being permanent and how skin changes over the years, so maybe not :/

favourite colour? i'm currently digging really deep greens lately!

favourite type of music? i think i've been really loving a lot of moody ballads and alternative rock . . . and also whatever the hell the music in alien stage is right now!

do you like puzzles? nope--i'm not patient enough for puzzles a;shdfasdf

any phobias? i am terrified of spiders. i don't care if they're smaller than me--they have eight legs, i have two, and also the way they move freaks me out so much oh my god why do they move like that ! !!

favourite childhood sport? i really liked to swim as a kid, and i still do

do you talk to yourself? yeah--mostly when i'm annoyed or stressed. i've been known to quickly mute myself on zoom meetings or make more of an effort to just shut my mouth whenever i'm waiting for someone to come onto zoom, because i once started muttering "jesus christ, what a way to make a first impression--i can't believe you're late" and i didn't realize that there was? a little thing that was? making a transcript of everything i was muttering? if my boss ever read that transcript, they've been kind enough to never mention it--so!!!! anyways!!! i'm working on that lol

what movie(s) do you adore? i really love kogonada's films (columbus and after yang are probably the major ones), and i also love the korean adaptation of little forest. and also beginners. in general, i think i love films with a lot of green coloring and also just enough moments of quiet to make you feel comforted! or at least--better said--i like movies that feel like you've had a conversation with someone.

coffee or tea? coffee for when i want to wake up and tea for when i want to wind down!

first thing you wanted to be growing up? a writer :) or, at the very least, a well-known storyteller.

no pressure tags: @kckenobi @lightasthesun @l-tyrell @reese-haleth

[zeroducks-2]

I'm back to ask about your wips again 👀 What's Clipped about? Oh oh and Omegaverse Royal AU with Rastim 💕

So the Omegaverse Royal AU is this one, but where it says "Rastim" it's actually a spin-off (or maybe I should say a parallel story? IDK that's what a spin-off is after all, but I wrote everything together and then separated the bits) about what's happening with Tim. I mention in that post that Ra's shows up because he wants a piece of the cake, and in this case the cake involves the Drake estates which 14 yo Tim is set to inherit when he's old enough. Case in point, he's too young for a recognized union of any kind. He presented as an Omega just a few months prior to these events, but by law he's not old enough for an official mating or to inherit anything. Also, King Alexander is not happy with the Al Ghuls coming over and going like "ah yes haha this is mine actually", "oh sure I will take this other one instead". All of this is however not going to stop Ra's from getting what he wants :)

"Clipped" instead is a veeeeeery old WIP. It's the very first DC darkfic I've ever written! I probably posted a couple of snippets here and there but never the entire thing because it's on hiatus, and who knows if I'll ever finish it. I wrote it after reading Future State (more than a year ago), and it's in fact a Future State inspired situation where vigilantes are outlawed so severely that some get executed publicly, some kept locked away for experiments on their meta-genes if they have any, and in general it's not a good situation especially since the Bats and Birds have had their identities revealed to the press. They're forced to live separated and in constant hiding, all linked through Oracle (which is not a single person at this point but a "vigilante-friendly group" lead by Babs) while they try not to get caught by authorities for who knows what.

In this picture, Deathstroke became some sort of vigilante hunter. He's allowed to be free and do whatever he wants (and his kids have some degree of immunity as well, or anyway they're relatively safe), but in exchange he hunts down, captures and "deals" with rogue metas and "former heroes". Which means that some get sent to governamental facilities to be brainwashed rehabilitated, some get publicly executed as mentioned, and some just... "disappear". It took Slade literal years, but finally he got his hands on a good chunk of the flock of birds (Damian, Dick, Tim and Jason). The thing is. Slade is a mental sadistic creep in this one, and before he does anything even remotely helpful, he's going to break the kids to little pieces and then rearrange them as he sees fit.

The story features (or anyway should feature) Dark!Sladin in almost all its shapes. It was really fun to explore how the kids deal with the situation, because Tim took the months of torture of his life and eventually decided to try and follow the rules to limit the damage, Jason instead had a mental breakdown and decided that he'd going to get himself killed again (not going to be easy to make Slade slip though). Damian doesn't grasp the gravity of the situation, and Dick is just desperate to do literally anything to help the others. But again, I'm not surem I will ever even publish it. I might end up posting it incomplete just cuz.

[juleskelleybooks]

Year-End Wrap Up 2023

Thank you to literally everyone who has engaged with the work I've managed to put out despite everything. It was all carved out of me at great cost and with great love, and sharing it brings me joy and is why I keep doing it. Below are some numbers and some thoughts just to quantify things, but thanks.

Stats:

Words Published - 92,122 Words Written - Estimated somewhere in the 50k range Works Published - 2 Units Sold - 399 (self published titles only, includes free downloads) Milestones - Got to sign my physical book in a local bookstore and be featured on their social media as a local author; entered my book to be judged as part of the Lambda Literary Awards

Goals for Next Year:

Actually start keeping track of sales per title etc.

Start tracking words written

Thoughts:

This is mostly for myself, because I have a hard time with things like "accomplishments" and "chronological time" and "object permanency", and because I'm always looking ahead at what I want to have done, like I'm climbing uphill, and all progress feels slow. Sometimes it's good to look back at how far you've come.

At the end of last year, I parted professional ways with my agent (lovely person though she is), so this year was already a bit new in a lot of ways.

In April, Night Is For Hunting released. It's the second Moonrise book, and was intended to be the middle in a trilogy, but the final book has since been canceled (at my request) because I realized that the third book is not within timely reach for me. Still kind of feeling the sting of that. I'm also not super happy with parts of NIFH, as I pushed through places in order to hit (an already extended) deadline. I had grand plans for sections of the book that I just didn't have time to wrangle.

That's kind of a theme for this year, is that I'm learning that being disabled does unfortunately mean that I am less able to do things on the schedule or to the intensity or degree that I wish that I could. The whole reason I went fully self-pub without my lovely agent was because I knew I couldn't have both work that at least approaches my standards and also a standardized publishing schedule. Not at this point in my life, anyway.

In July, Stars Still Fall was released. I wrote what I consider the pivotal scene in that story back in 2018, and have been obsessed with it ever since, so finishing it was accomplishing a major goal. I let myself take my time to get really indulgent with the prose in places, which I enjoyed a lot. I keep poking at it to see if there's any places I'm unhappy with, that I want to change, and so far I haven't found any. (This isn't, of course, to say that it's above criticism. I'm sure it isn't all to everyone's taste. But I'm happy.) I may update the cover at some point to change the typography for the title, because I think it could be better and do better justice to the actual art.

Looking Ahead:

Blackthorn (low-tech space western, bi4bi m/f) seems to have pulled ahead out of the primordial soup of WIPs for now and is rattling full steam ahead. I'm not going to set a due date until I'm closer to the end, but with any luck, I might manage to finish it within two years?

Other projects that are starting to solidify are A Touch of Magic (witchy single dad whose daughter casts a love spell to try to save his job), A Time For Us (completely reworked reissue of M Jules Aedin title Windows in Time featuring a modern-day person helping ghosts from the 1940s at the risk of his own happiness), and whatever I end up renaming Late Blooming (gray-ace middle school teacher finds out he's same-sex attracted shortly after his 40th birthday and a lot of things start making sense, but his crush on the uncle of one of his students is not one of those things).

Thank you, and happy new year!

[cagedinpublishing]

November 20th, 2023

In my travels through life, I've come to realize that a lot of issues I suffer from come from the traumatic experiences of life itself. At the young age of four, I witnessed domestic violence, child abuse (some of which landed me in the hospital) -- I was displaced from life at an early age. As I've gotten older, I did blame everyone for my faults.

But when you're confined and you're forced to look at yourself through these concrete mirrors, it is a constant reminder that you messed up. And it's no one's fault but your own.

How do you admit that to someone if you can't admit it to yourself?

My aunt taught me the rights and wrongs of life, but because the wrongs were never explained to me, I became rebellious -- I became everything that was dished out to me. I punished women for the actions of my mother. I bullied the weak because I was bullied by my father. I took all the bad things that happened to me and used it to treat other people who really loved me messed up. So now I sit alone in prison, remaking myself and trying to apologize to as many people as I can so that I can sleep at night; and there are a lot of sleepless nights.

When I found out that I had mental health issues, I was already into my second decade of my prison sentence. That was a heavy blow because of the stigma that surrounds it. It's not something loosely or easily talked about.

But I am willing to face this thing head on. I don't know how bad I am -- but for me to like or enjoy being locked in solitary, that shows how bad it is and can be. Some prisoners in here cannot take the solitude because their minds drift in and out of the wrongs they've done and they can't be alone with their own thoughts. So sometimes you will get sudden outbursts from them, which means that they will be forcefully removed from their cells and taken off to the hole, which administration calls "restrictive housing."

This can be further damaging to the mind. Mentally ill people are trapped in a system that's incapable of delivering the long-term care that many prisoners need.

I've begun my mental health healing journey by hearing and reading stories about famous people overcoming their battles, such as tennis champion Naomi Osaka and NBA player Kevin Love.

So with the little things I've done, I've tried and reached out to as many people to whom I've caused discomfort. I've even started writing urban fiction novels as part of the process. Finding a hobby sometimes is the best therapy -- don't take my word for it, though; I have no degree in this field.

I want to thank you for taking the time out to read my blog. I will be sharing short stories and a little bit more about myself and my growth. So be on the lookout for my first urban novel later next year! Have a good day and a blessed week.

From Eric Humes -- Caged In Publishing

Eric Humes #119468 CSP POBOX 777 Cañon City, CO 81215 USA