#i mean i could make the obvious joke that he put joy (addictive drug in game) in the music LOL

[lemonofthevalley]

what did austin jorgensen put in the lisa ost to make it this good holy shit

[transassbuttwriting]

My 27th Birthday: Pieces

Word Count: 2, 658 Warning(s): Drug use mentioned, overdose mentioned, depressing narrative

It may have been the time, but Geoff forgot just how much he loved sitting outside. Nothing, but a cup of tea in his hands, a radio on full volume, and the wind dancing through his hair. It reminded him of rehab and how he spent most of his free time there. He would sit in the courtyard, writing in his journal as other patients walked by in their own world. He only wrote in that book because he was told to. Writing down his thoughts didn’t help him a lot, but he did it nonetheless. Just to make his therapist happy with him.

He shook his head. He retrained his attention on the flowers in the backyard. They ranged from white to pink to purple to blue, all pastels. He couldn’t remember his mother gardening much. He just guessed the flowers were already there, planted for them. It didn’t matter to him. Even as a child, he would just pick the ones he thought were the prettiest, only for him to get tattled on by his sister and scolded by his parents. Looking back, he realized how bad that was for the flowers. However, a dandelion bouquet wasn’t appreciated either so, what was he supposed to do?

The song on the radio shifted along with his feelings, a low beat and soft acoustic strum started to play. Geoff took a sip of his tea, burning his tongue as he did. He couldn’t remember the last time he drank tea. Obviously before his death, but it was definitely before his 27th birthday. It must have been with Randy and his girlfriend, or was it wife?

He paused, his brows creased. He was forgetting a lot. That bullet must have done something to his head. He couldn’t even remember the most intimate details of his life. He wasn’t even an old man, not that he ever would be.

Geoff stood up, placing his tea down beside the radio before he walked into the living room. The photo album still sat where he left it ages before. He felt nauseous every time he looked in its direction. He never wanted to relive the emotions he felt looking at those memories, but if he was forgetting everything, he had to look.

He picked it up and brought it outside with him. The cursive introduction haunted him as he flipped through the pages. He would go slower this time. He would skip the parts he would hate and linger on the ones he loved. Yeah, that was the plan.

The first photo he saw was of one-year-old him leaning against his sister’s crib who at the time was just a few months old. His face was shmooshed between two bars, his lips pouted out. Geoff laughed at himself. He didn’t get any less annoying as his sister grew up. He turned to another photo. This one had both him and his sister, much older and in their Sunday best, smiling big at the camera. He faintly remembered a distant family member taking the photo, but out of the many cousins that were several times removed, it was hard to keep track of everyone. Underneath the photo, Geoff found cursive writing.

After Geoff & Kimberly’s First Performance

Oh yeah! Geoff smiled at the photo, tracing the letters with his finger. Kimberly knew piano and both were in the church choir. Possibly their parents started it or maybe a great grandparent, but Geoff remembered him and Kimberly performing songs they knew for their family right after church. Brunch was served by each member as they sang, the quality of their performance strengthening throughout the years. He believed they pranked the entire family once by performing The Bitch is Back instead of Bennie and the Jets. It didn’t end very well for either of them.

Geoff flipped through the pages, memories returning once he looked at the photos. He found more of him and Kimberly and more of him with David. Childhood memories he had forgotten due to his partying years. It was strange staring at his younger self. Possibly it was because it was so long ago and he couldn’t remember being that small. Maybe it was something in his eyes that changed. Maybe it was nothing.

His favourite out of the bunch was one of him, Kimberly, and David. It was Halloween and Star Wars had just came out earlier that year. David had insisted on being Han Solo, even though Geoff threw a fit about it. Now he didn’t understand why he was being so whiny. Luke was just as cool, possibly even cooler, than Han and he was a Jedi. Who could go wrong with being a Jedi? That meant Kimberly was Leia despite David and Geoff’s pleads for her to go as Chewbacca.

The photo was taken in the middle of them yelling trick-or-treat with their bags outstretched. It was a photo that must have been taken by some unknown being, but Geoff was glad it was taken. They all looked so happy.

He turned the pages again and the photos became newer as he grew older. He grew up along with Kimberly and it was obvious how different they became once they turned into teenagers. While she looked like a model teenage girl with long skirts and done-up hair, Geoff looked like he was a member of Mötley Crüe. He laughed at himself for looking so ridiculous.

Cautiously counting, Geoff skipped ahead in the photo album. He saw himself in rehab and after the treatment. The rest of the album was just of him and Needles. The makeup and big hair disappeared and their appearances changed. Age, weight gained or lost, bad decisions. All reasons for their looks.

The last photo he looked at made a small smile appear on his face. Needles was sitting at a long table in a restaurant, smiling at the camera. Geoff remembered a server taking the photo and that the food was pretty good. One side was David, Geoff, and Susie and on the other was Chris, Randy, and...what was her name? He looked down at the writing beside it to find the missing name.

Emilia! Randy’s wife! Oh, I wonder how she’s doing. Geoff thought, his finger unknowingly covering Susie’s face. He always thought they were a cute couple. He was glad they got married after years of dating.

There was a knock on the front door. Geoff turned off the radio and brought in the photo album and his now cold cup of tea. He wondered who would at his home at–he looked at the clock–only ten in the morning?

He opened the door and let out a huff of joy. Janis grinned up at him, her sunglasses and hair covering most of her face. Maybe he needed a friend to talk to.

“Hey, Jan.” He smiled, moving back to invite her in.

“Heyo, Geo. You wanna join me for a walk? I had a feeling you’re not doing much.”

Geoff stopped and wrinkled his nose at her. Of course he was doing something! He was sitting and staring at flowers. Okay, he wasn’t doing anything.

“Yeah, sure, I have time.”

Janis grabbed Geoff’s hand and pulled him along to the sidewalk. He barely managed to shut his door as he was startled by the fact that she had more strength than he originally thought. Janis’ grip loosened after a while, her speed slowing down until she was beside Geoff. She started to ramble about small things and he listened to each and every word carefully, even if she didn’t care about them.

The clicks of their shoes on the concrete turned into the crunch of leaves and pebbles as they turned onto a smaller trail, leading into a forest. The trees became thicker as they continued to walk and Janis’ voice ceased to leave. Geoff added his own comments every now and then, but he felt she wanted an ear to hear her. The day was calm, clouds covering most of the sky. It was peaceful and quiet, leaving the two to be in their own world.

A clearing, tiny compared to most, appeared in the middle of the trail and Janis’ voice faded. She grinned and spun around, her arms out, taking in every inch of the scenery. Geoff looked around and noticed a couple of flower bushes at the bottom of tall pine trees. He knelt down and smelled one.

Janis sighed, a smile still on her face, “You can’t get this from drugs, I’ll tell you that much.”

Geoff whipped his head up, “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, there’s Southern Comfort, but this,” she gestured toward the flora, “this is something beautiful.”

He looked around and stared at the trees and bushes. He had no idea what she was seeing, but he definitely wasn’t seeing anything spectacular. He grew up with nature like what stood in front of them and everything turned dull in the end. Why think something is beautiful if you’ve seen in everyday of your life?

Janis dropped onto the ground, sitting with one knee up. Geoff joined her, crossing his legs. She began to pick the flowers, peonies Geoff now realized, by the stems and started to tie them together.

“Drugs aren’t that good anyway. I mean...look where they got me.” Janis joked, adjusting each flower.

Geoff stiffened, his eyes avoiding Janis. It had been a while since he even thought about drugs. He wanted to avoid it as long as possible, whether it was unhealthy or not for him to bottle up his thoughts. There was always a sick feeling in his stomach when drugs were mentioned, as if it was retreating further into his back. He just felt nauseous.

Janis noticed how Geoff’s hands tightened on his thighs and frowned.

“Touchy subject?”

Geoff nodded.

Janis raised her brows, “Oh. Well, if you want to talk about anything, my ears are wide open, baby.”

She continued to tie the peonies together, placing them down once they were connected into a circle. She grabbed more and started to make another one.

Now it felt like a pot about to overboil. Geoff wanted to say so much, but he had only known Janis for less than four months. She didn’t need to hear any of his problems. That was his own business and no one else’s burden. He needed to keep his mouth shut. He needed to solve his own issues and not piggyback on others’ efforts. Besides, would she even understand his incoherent feelings?

“I had an addiction.”

Oh, goddammit.

Janis’ head perked up.

“I was an alcoholic and a heroin addict. It...It fucked me up to put it lightly.” He found himself laughing. At himself mostly.

As he started, Janis stopped fidgeting with the peonies, placing down the circle she was working on. Her attention was purely on Geoff.

“When you start, you never think that it would get bad. You always tell yourself ���I’ll stop after this shot’ but you don’t. Parents always warn you about drugs and how they’re bad. They always say how they’ll disown you and how they would be disappointed. They never tell you how enticing they are.”

Janis slipped her hand into Geoff’s, squeezing it tightly. Her eyes hadn’t left his face and his were still staring at the flower bush. Everything was just spilling out. He couldn’t stop.

“I don’t remember much of my overdose, but I do remember bits and pieces. I remember drinking whiskey and shooting up. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I was in a hospital. I was strapped to the bed because I apparently tried to attack the nurses. All I could remember from between was hearing someone screaming ‘All blue...They’re just blue…’”

Nothing. Janis didn’t respond. She waited for Geoff to continue. He could feel a lump in his throat as he tried to hold back tears.

“Randy and David found me and took me to the hospital...It was David yelling. He told me that he looked into my eyes and just saw blue.”

Geoff felt Janis’s hand tense up against his. He didn’t turn her way, but he could feel how her eyes widened. He crossed over and rolled up his sleeve over his elbow. He rubbed at the crease of his elbow, tracing the vein.

“This entire area was covered in track marks...I don’t think I was ever sober during my life. Even when I wasn’t, I felt miserable.”

Janis tried to smile, but it looked forced. She caressed Geoff’s hand with her thumb and he finally looked in her direction.

“I’m sure it did feel like it was horrible, but I’m certain there was good moments too.”

Before he could clearly think, Geoff shook his head. His stomach dropped when Janis’ smile fell.

“What’s with the shake, Geo?”

Geoff couldn’t think of an answer.

“Did you have friends who cared about you?”

“Yes-”

“Did you have a family who would die for you?”

“I suppose-”

“Do you remember any inside jokes you had with your friends?”

Geoff started to smile, “Yes-”

“Did your friends have fun with you or try to make you smile?”

“Of course!”

“There were some good moments!” Janis’ smile returned.

Geoff paused, his smile cracking slightly. Where was she going with this? “I’m not saying that your life wasn’t shit because I believe that you were unhappy. However, I refuse to believe that there were no good moments, even when you were a kid. I’m one hundred percent certain that your friends and family tried their best to make your life amazing. Your band cared about you. The way you talk about them, I hope they did! Just promise me one thing, baby. Don’t compare your life to others. Enjoy your life and afterlife by your standards.”

Her hands returned to the circle of flowers. She added one more peony and set the circle on her head. She grabbed the other one and placed it on top of Geoff’s head. They were flowers crowns. How could Geoff not see that?

“I know it will be hard to get over everything that happened while you were alive, but promise me you’ll remember the good. That you’ll remember that you enjoyed it.” Geoff nodded. He felt a weight off his shoulders that had been there for years. Even though he felt a sharp pain in his heart, it was far more tolerable than the dull and everbuilding pain of keeping quiet.

Janis looked Geoff over, a sly smirk appearing on her lips.

“The peonies are actually cute on you. Maybe you should have some at your house.”

He smiled, a petal falling from his crown. Staring at Janis with an identical flower crown, she looked like how people depicted Mother Nature. It made Haven feel more like home.

They stood up and began to walk back to Geoff’s house. They continued to talk, but instead, Geoff was one to talk Janis’ ear off. He told her stories of when he was younger and how he mended his relationship with his sister after his overdose. Janis just smiled, listening carefully to each word that he said.

Once they arrived back, Janis stepped on the tip of her toes and kissed Geoff’s forehead. Her hand rested on his cheek and he sheepishly smiled.

“If you need to talk, just know that I’m here for you and so is everyone in the club.”

Geoff nodded, “Yes, I know.”

Janis lingered for a moment before she started to walk off, waving back at Geoff as she did.

Geoff didn’t take off his flower crown when he entered his home. He didn’t take it off when he grabbed the photo album and sat down outside. He touched the crown and sighed as he saw at the end of the photo album a new photo of him and Janis sitting beside the flower bush.

[tessatechaitea]

Eclipso #5

Oh, it's happening!

You can't arrest Bruce for this murder because it was a perfect murder.

Every time I run somebody over in traffic, I just keep driving because I think, "Did I just smash into that pedestrian? Or did he jump in front of me?!" Then I pick up something they dropped and say:

My collection of right shoes and broken sunglasses is enormous.

I'm not saying it's right to invade an indigenous tribe, refuse to acknowledge their cultural beliefs, take photographs they expressly forbade me to take, gotten angry because they destroyed my camera, threw the shaman off of a cliff, and then stole an obvious religious artifact to keep as a souvenir of my perfect murder. I'm saying you have to appreciate the context! And the context is that Bruce Gordon is a white man from Western Civilization which means he can get away with whatever the fuck he wants! Bruce Gordon wakes up from the dream about his origin and then claims that he's a scientist while expressing thoroughly unscientific theories.

"The scientist in me knows that the evil I did was caused by a cut by a magic diamond which allowed a vengeance god who lives on the moon to take over my body! Science!"

As a "man" of "science," I know that nobody ever wakes up from a blackout tied to a bed and still has their pants on. Whoever put him there would have at least taken off his muddy boots! Yeesh.

My first dog's name was Fucky.

I'm not sure what kind of vibe Giffen and Fleming were going after when they decided Bruce Gordon would wake up tied to a bed with a kid nearby watching Bruce sleep but I think it was somewhere in-between horror and reverse pedophilia. Bruce winds up shackled to a chair at a large dining room table sat across from Mona. He asks her what happened and she says, "When that gong sounded, two women appeared, dressed me at gunpoint and brought me here! You?"

Yes. Two women dressing Mona at gunpoint is pretty much the same as some creepy kid telling you that the noises you make when you sleep are the same noises that his pervert dog makes. Practically twinsies!

The more I think about the current state of the world compared to this Eclipso comic book that purports to be a study of evil, the more I realize a real world Eclipso would make sense of everything. I wouldn't have to believe that Jeffrey Epstein was murdered and made to look like a suicide if we knew Eclipso was a thing! Everybody would just go, "Oh, did you find a black diamond on him? Yeah? That explains it! Possessed by Eclipso, got caught, abandoned by Eclipso, and then killed himself when he realized what he did while Eclipso'd! End of story!" Then later when we discovered that all the MAGA hats were lined with Black Diamond dust, we'd all go, "Fuckin' hell. Well, that explains that mess!" Then in Great Britain, you'd discover that all the hard candy had traces of black diamonds in them which is why all the old people voted for Brexit. Or at least that's what people would claim instead of wanting to admit that all the old people are fearful racists. Not to let all the young racists off the hook for voting for Brexit! But I'm sure if people died at much younger ages than they actually do, young people wouldn't continually get handed a fucking shit future that old people keep voting for even though they have no future themselves. Chained to the table with Mona's extreme cleavage staring him in the face, Bruce Gordon comes to the realization that this is all his fault. While I want to agree with him, I'd lay some of the blame at Madame Xanadu's feet as well. How come that barn owl didn't see this coming and tell the Justice League that the end of the world was coming if they didn't get off their asses and do exactly what she says without proof or evidence? Maybe if Bruce Gordon had visited Madame Xanadu instead of going straight to the Justice League, everything would have worked out okay. Which means, I think, I can agree with Bruce Gordon! It's entirely his fault! Also, he did murder that shaman who cursed him to become Eclipso which brought Eclipso back which led to Eclipso murdering 85% of Parador so he could run drugs and kill off all the coke sniffers in the U.S. And, I mean, is that so bad? I think maybe I'm on Eclipso's side here. At least for the first part of his plan. Although after imagining how many people are going to think I'm racist after that fact because I just remembered that most of Eclipso's coke will wind up as crack and distributed to poor, urban locations which are comprised of majority black populations due to decades of systemic racism in the United States government, I take back my endorsement of Eclipso's plan. It's as racist as Bruce Gordon's origin story! I mean, it's as racist as Bruce Gordon's origin story totally wasn't! It's hard to remember the reality I'm supposed to be sticking with in my reviews because I absolutely don't give a shit or pay attention to what I type.

See? You can see how I might side with Eclipso's plan! If we could just forget the way the U.S. treated the crack epidemic as a failing of the people who wound up addicted to crack as opposed to an 80s pushback against civil rights by conservative politicians to help undermine (or strengthen, in way too many cases) white America's attitude toward black Americans, it's a good plan, right?! I mean, you probably shouldn't forget those things I just said. Never forget that conservative politicians did that. Fuck Reagan and Bush and their toadies forever and ever.

And then the comic book finally does something so perfectly perfect that I can't believe I stopped reading after Issue #7 (especially since Ted McKeever began doing art in that issue!). I mean, nowadays, I would have given this comic at least another six months for this perfect moment. Let me set the scene: earlier, the little boy wouldn't untie Bruce Gordon because if he did, his mother threatened to kill his dog. Now at dinner, Bruce and Gordon were served their dinner under silver serving trays. When Bruce's tray is lifted, he discovers the boy's dog roasted with an apple in its mouth (because that's how you roast things!). This is how the scene then plays out:

This moment is such a great nod to early EC horror titles and — for me at least — the first really horrific act of genuine evil. All the rest of the shit Eclipso has done has just been mindless violence.

Later, Eclipso decides to eclipse The Creeper.

How do you get this close to an anus joke so many times and never deliver?! It's not like this is a Comics Code Authority backed comic book!

It's times like this when I have to admit that the critics of my criticism who say I'm not subtle must be right. Because Giffen and Fleming's entire plan in this scene was probably to make the reader think, "It's going up his ass, isn't it?!" And in that way, they never had to go so low and vulgar because they knew his readership would do it for them. But still. I wanted to see Eclipso reference suppositories. Eclipso stuffs black diamonds into Bruce and Mona as well before taking them and Creeper out for a drive through Parador. It's now become a living Hell with terrific new sightseeing destinations like the Shitting Demon, the Burning Crawling Lady, and the Pile of Dead Children on the Side of the Road. None of them get angry enough to become possessed by Eclipso so he drops them off at the border and tells them to get out of his country. It must be part two of his infernal plan! Have them shit out the diamonds in a U.S. toilet so that the rats and alligators become possessed, killing the next million people who don't do cocaine. No, that's not the plan because they all vomit up the black diamonds before heading off down the last 20 miles before crossing the border of Parador into, I don't know, Urazil. I've done that one, haven't I? I can't think of any more South American countries to mix up! Eclipso #5 Rating: B+. I really did enjoy the dinner scene. And letting Eclipso make reference to a pile of dead children was a nice touch too. A god who kills children?! Why, that's the very worst kind of God there is! I know Christians can be naive so, yes, that was a shot at your God. Boom!