#i mean I'm not complaining but it's also something I'd do to add an extra engagement thing

[hyraeth]

I (accidentally) followed so many new blogs in The Great Boopage of 2024 that half of my dash is filled with gifsets of shows I've never watched, and you know what, feels like 2012 Tumblr again, nature is healing

[x-brik-x]

I'm seeing a lot of people say that punk fashion is expensive and inaccessible, which is very wrong. here is a list of some ways you can make punk fashion easier, cheaper and more accessible for you, since that's... kinda the whole point.

others are encouraged to add onto this!! (just don't recommend corporations like amazon. not cool.)

1. patches!! you don't need to buy them. DIY patches are not ugly or boring. in fact, they are encouraged here!! DIY, in my opinion, is always the best thing to do when it is an option and is safe to do so.

2. speaking of DIY, spikes!! you can make them!!

cut the top and bottom off of an empty can. cut down the middle of the cylinder and flatten it, so it's just a flat rectangle of metal.

cut out a shape that is kind of a third of a circle, but around 3/4 of the curved edge is taken up by triangle shapes. (I'm not very good at describing, so here's a badly drawn picture)

roll it into a cone, leaving the 4 triangles sticking out at the bottom. this bit is optional, but you can fill it with hot glue to make it more sturdy, just be careful touching the hot metal. I tend to hold the cone by one of the triangles with a bit of fabric wrapped around my fingers for this bit. cut 4 small holes in your fabric in this kind of shape:

and put the spiky bits of triangle through the holes. fold the triangles in on themselves to secure the spike in place. boom. spike obtained. this is one I made and attached to a little piece of fabric to test this method out:

3. battle vests!! (like the base jackets). the best places to buy these are charity shops and second hand websites in my opinion, but if anyone else knows any better options, please reblog with those!!

a good trick I find works well on eBay is to filter search results to your country (or state? can you do that in the US? idk) so that a: fast delivery because local, and b: all the sellers of everything that shows up are in YOUR TIME ZONE.

why is this important? when people sell something for really cheap, it goes FAST. check eBay at like, 2am or something. all the scalpers in your area are asleep. grab the cheap stuff while they can't.

4. sewing!! want patches, but can't sew for whatever reason? I've heard of a lot of people with joint conditions like arthritis complain about the inaccessibility of patch stuff, and that does sound extremely annoying, however:

safety pins!! while they are still a little fiddly, they're much less work so you don't have to fiddle about for long. if you can, you could even ask a friend to help, since it doesn't take long at all I'm sure someone will be willing to help out!! (I know I would, but that's just me, and I love this kind of thing). safety pins on clothes are also widely considered to be a symbol of solidarity, so if anything, you're adding some extra love and meaning to your patch pants/battle jacket.

if that's still too fiddly, fabric glue is always an option. unfortunately this means you won't be able to remove/reposition patches, at least without leaving a massive patch of residue, but if you're ok with that then fabric glue is probably your best bet.

for people who prefer sewing: as for where to get the thread, I've heard a lot of people recommending dental floss, as it's apparently much cheaper and works just as well. I haven't tried this myself so can't confirm that, but I thought I'd share it regardless.

5. where to get fabric!! old clothes. rip em up. you don't need any kind of fancy fabric from the craft store. my patches are made of old jeans that I grew out of.

don't have any old clothes and you don't want to waste any good ones? I'm not sure about other countries, but in the UK, as long as you're not on private property (trespassing), dumpster diving is perfectly legal.

I definitely ;) do NOT encourage ;) trespassing rich people's land ;) to steal from their dumpsters ;)

or tbh it doesn't matter too much how rich the person is, since it's all going to landfill anyway. if it's in the bin, it's free game, but you didn't hear that from me. ;)

please add onto this where you can!! and if I missed something or got anything wrong, add that on too!!

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. i'm WAY behind. friday we watched voy's "tattoo," saturday i finally womaned up and agreed to watch ds9's "the visitor" and then we also bravely soldiered on to "hippocratic oath," and last night we did ds9's "indiscretion" and "rejoined."

tattoo (voy):

it's a real shame about (waves vaguely at racefaking "expert" on voy's writing staff) because, due to my own lack of education, i never know which stuff is based in fact and which is just wholesale bullshit. i remember one time i googled something about chakotay's culture because it seemed so obviously fake, and it turned out to be Kind Of True But Not Like That. it sucks because not ONLY was it a huge missed opportunity for Representation And Education (tm) but chakotay is a really interesting guy and i'd like to know more about him and see him get to do more stuff without him getting buried in the like. mysticism and racism of it all. it's no good for him and it's no good to sit through either

bc like. at this episode's core. if you could somehow remove the racist panflute and the whole thing where we portray people from THE SPACE TRAVELING FUTUREEE as primitive savages, you could have had a good story. chakotay struggles with not feeling at home where he lives/in his own culture, goes to space about it, then has an emotional crisis when his dad dies while the two of them are on bad terms. i know that's a good story and i know star trek can make that a good story because do you know who else has that story? SPOCK.

LIKE. IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY. WHAT WERE YOU DOING!

anyway, chakotay naked. i know he was naked for the wrong reasons but that man had his whole ass out. bold moves heretofore only taken by sir patrick stewart himself. GOOD FOR HIM!

oh yeah the b plot of this episode sucked. we have to give the doctor a cold because of his lack of compassion? since When has he ever complained about sick or whiny people? been gruff with them, sure, tough-love kind of guy definitely, but no one would program a doctor who hated serving patients?? i did like that kes gave him an extra hour to be evil though. i love her so much

the visitor (ds9):

i don't want to talk about it.

or, no, i actually already talked about it, and i don't have anything to add, except that 1. christopher nolan can still suck it 2. every episode of ds9's 4th season so far has made me feel like i need to give it a "must see" on the spreadsheet. i almost can't believe i'm watching star trek. i have to start grading the damn things on a curve

hippocratic oath:

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. stuck with the jem'hadar and julian is like "i can fix them" and o'brien is like "i have been racist my whole life and i'm not about to stop now and also you cannot fix them so i am going to condemn them to a horrible death in order to save your life" because he did at the beginning of the episode say out loud with his mouth that he wished his wife was more like julian bashir and then promptly refused to examine that thought even a little bit

like this had EVERYTHING. gay people. ethical dilemmas. twink with a spine of steel. worf forgetting he's no longer in tng. my best friend odo disguising as an inanimate object. and i'm supposed to just give it a WATCH?

like, i was right there with julian. fix them fix them fix them it's so easy they CAN be weaned off of it this could change everything i was so livid with o'brien for condemning those guys to a painful and undignified ending and for repeatedly ruining julian's attempts to help with all his attempts to escape and then he was like. yeah. i did all that to save YOUR LIFE because i saw that YOU were in danger.

and it obviously doesn't excuse anything and you get the feeling julian COULD have helped them with enough time and the right tools and and and...but he didn't have all that, and obrien KNEW he didn't have all that, and he wasn't willing to risk his friend's life on a gamble when it came to helping enemy soldiers

like, it's his fucking cardassian ptsd. note how he didn't speak when they were captured but bashir did because the gun was on his friend. note how he had to explain why the commander couldn't escape with them. IT MKAES SO MUCH SENSE FOR HIS CHARACTER. who hasn't done horrible things for the people they love? if his wife doesn't get back soon he's going to be asking for julian's hand in marriage by season 5

indiscretion (ds9):

KIRA PULLING THE THORN OUT OF DUKAT'S ASS. sorry i'm good i'm normal

something about dukat...at first he was very boring and flat, and then he was funny but still pretty 2-dimensional, and then he was funny AND gay with sisko but still 2-dimensional, and now he's got all kinds of depth. i completely wrote him off as generic cardassian villain at first but i am genuinely thrilled to see him every time he shows up

like, the bajoran lover and the daughter is such an amazing plot twist, but also, sorry to say this, he and kira have q and picard energy. as in, q wants picard to fuck him so so so bad, and picard has zero interest in doing this, and somehow that interest gets even lower the more q wants it, and the lower his interest gets, the more rabid q is for him, and it's probably the only thing i really enjoyed about either character, a few of sir patrick stewart's better speeches aside. dukat is exactly like that with kira. he is GAGGING for her strap and she finds him vile and rephrensible and the closest they got to fucking was when she pulled the spine out of his ass cheek and laughed at him and he probably is going to put that in the spank bank for the rest of his life. and she will still never fuck him

really fun when she told him to shut up and he shut up <3

i just love episodes that deal with the fallout of the war...it's always such incredible character work. i was worried that with the dominion threat these kinds of episodes would go away and i'm glad that's not the case

also, hi, sisko fumbling things with his gf for the b-plot. dax and julian giving him romantic advice and then mocking him when he leaves. jake being the only one who can talk sense into him. incredible. 10/10

ALSO, not only did capt yates make him work at that apology she did NOT kiss his ass goodbye. and he deserved it.

even quark was funny in this episode, despite the misogyny. he was nice to jake in "the visitor" so i think i've forgiven him because i've made at least two quodo jokes since then. my first love will always be kiraodo (kodo?) though

rejoined (ds9):

LESBIANS IN STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as previously stated about 600 times on this blog i DID NOT KNOW there would be a gay kiss happening. i thought btvs held the honors for the first gay kiss and that this was going to be like an allegory or a metaphor like in tng. and i did like the tng ep for what it was! but holy shit this blows that out of the water.

i think it's so important that this would have been absolutely NO different whatsoever if either half of the couple had been a man. for the time period especially it's very much like. Queers Are Just Like Us which i think is an important step 1 to reel in potential bigots who are still on the fence. i cannot believe my mother is going to watch this episode someday

also, hi, the allies in this episode...? julian sitting through that WHOLE dinner without the first word of complaint. sisko telling dax it's a bad idea but he'll back her tf up. kira bewildered that any of it is any problem at all. sisko's moment was especially nice bc at first you think he's being a dick which is out of character for him and then you realize 1. he's scared for her 2. he loves her 3. he would probably fight the homophobic (recursionphobic...?) trills with his bare hands if he had a good excuse

it's also nice that zero people in this episode were weird about the idea of two women together. it was SO NORMAL. god i can't believe andor let those two women touch hands for a single shot and called it progressive between that and spn my standards are through the FLOOR!!

TONIGHT: ds9's "starship down" and "little green men," and then we're finally back to voyager.

[sparkiekong]

If one were to stop updating the game, would it be prudent to move to permanent offline mode?

Also.. I understand that in doing something like never updating again... that mods will move forward and eventually become broken. Meaning I'd have to either get rid of ones that no longer worked or keep the old versions that work and just maintain my own cc and/or use bgc cc.

I'll be honest, I don't like the new direction this game is taking and I'm uninterested in buying anything new. I'd been thinking about not buying anything more because of the in game cart and adverts.

This new update further confirms my decision of no longer buying these game updates. This latest update is a primer for in-game purchase models. I've seen this happen too many times in games now to be optimistic about it.

I'm going to keep posting screens and stuff for now, but I'm losing the will to do it.

bit of rant under the cut - feel free to skip. I'm just venting...

This is how it starts... and this is how the game will go completely gacha.

1. Game starts adverts on front page

2. Game then gets adverts in game 

3. Game adds a "nifty" - in game menu where you can do things in game for free points to buy things. "It's totally free and you don't have to buy anything! All you need to do is login!!" 

4. Game let's that happen for a few months to get us used to it and then we stop complaining about it or lose the desire to fight them about it... either way in game store is not going away...neither are the adverts.

5. Game adds in some things that are really hard to get points up for but are really cool to make you want to buy extra coins to speed up the process.

6. Game adds in game purchases for coins because everything you do for free is just a coin or two less than what you need to get the coolest item and you'll always have to buy twice as much as what is needed because it'll be a "deal" to get more points. Which then will continue your new gacha habit because you'll still be a few coins shy next month.

Welcome to your new Gacha... you didn't see it happen. By the time you figure it out, you will have already bought into the in game purchases.

No thanks. I'm done. This is exactly the wrong direction for me to enjoy this game. The ads are for sure not going away now and they're only going to get worse. It's a shame because I really enjoyed Sims 4... it was a good avenue (A little stressful at times because of mods being broken each update) for inspiring my writing. I'm highly disappointed in this direction.

I don't know if I want to keep doing story driven screening simblr stuff anymore. I want to keep telling the story of Cat and the gang, but these new changes are sapping my will to continue using the sims as an avenue for story-telling. I'm not sure what that means for me yet... but when I know you'll know.

The least these shady gaming companies could do is be up front about in game purchases instead of this underhanded bs where they sneak it in.

Fuck, even tumblr has this gacha model on it... "Ad-free 5 bucks" "badges in the store you want to look cool right?"

[officialhawks]

Being stuck with you sounds like something I'm going to enjoy. *returns the hug and rests her head on your shoulder*

Oh, so you will be my personal heater? *laughs* Well, I'm not going to complain about that. Cuddling with you might be my new favorite thing to do anyway.

Yeah, you're totally right. As long as it's your true feelings, it doesn't matter how you word it. Unfortunately, I'm not that good with words, especially when it comes to romantic situations, haha. I'd be completely lost.

I'm glad I am not annoying you, I can be a liiiiittle on the chatty side once I like and trust a person. *chuckles*

110%? Maybe that was a bit too much... Your twitching muscle surely sounds like you overdid it during training... *gently grabs and pulls on the sleeve of your jacket* May I? I've heard a massage might bring some relief. I mean, just if that's alright with you. I'm not a huge fan of massages myself, because I'm really ticklish... *blushes and laughs*

I hope you have a great day, my dear Hawks!

- 🐇

The wings also add extra heat too, so I can places on on ya to keep you extra warm.

Oh! While out on patrol I found a few little young girls. They made hand made jewelry out of clay and resin and they had bunny earrings!! I forgot to take a picture but I will and share I’m going to wear them they were cute and they sparkle? What’s that stuff called that’s shiny? I can’t think of what it’s called.

-leans in close his nose almost touching hers a smirk on his face-

Ya know Bunny, if you wanted to feel my muscles and see my arms you could have asked id happily take my jacket of and show you.

Hawks 🪶

[monarch-boo]

Ruminating on the 4Chan leak from quite some time ago. Could spoil things for release depending on *IF* any of the not already confirmed shit is actually true.

Basically there was this "leak" post from 4Chan from quite some time ago, which not only spoke of the existence of DRDR but seems to have gotten a not-zero amount of things correct. I just want to go through what they said bit by bit, point out what is confirmed and what is deconfirmed, and give my thoughts. Omitting the 'Yeah No Shit' type'a things like "Frank returns".

There's a TL;DR at the end too.

"Keiji Inafune is not returning" ✅ At least I've... heard this one is confirmed I think?

"Mall's basic layout has been kept the same, but with some additions" ✅ Yupppp, I have to say the decorations they added to the mall to fill space look fucking gorgeous, I never actually really processed just how empty-feeling some of the sections of the mall actually look in the OG.

"Infinity mode returns" ✅?? Almost certainly true... I have to wonder if they made any QoL changes to this? I mean if they still have the 5 and 7 Day Survivor achievements then I have to wonder if they did *something* to make it less of an ordeal. I'm not sure even the types of Twitter people that whine about easy modes and assist stuff and whatnot would complain about that, unless they never played the game. Like nobody whose tried playing it fucking likes suffering through that cruel-ass mode for 10-14 real hours in one sitting, bro. Seems like anyone whose actually played it would love for at least *something* to be dialed back.

<Talked way too long about the "extra bosses" bit so I'm putting it in a separate post.>

"source specifically told me the Convicts respawning has been cut, so any of you complete scrubs that couldn't handle them can breathe easily." ❓ Interesting. I have mixed feelings about it though. On one hand, this is a wonderful QoL thing if it's true, a lot of people struggled with the fact that they don't go away forever once you kill em all. But on the other, what happens to the Jeep then? Will the Jeep disappear too? Because unless they let the empty Jeep keep respawning, you will only be able to drive it around and steal+use Reginald's machine gun once per entire playthrough...

"Legacy mode, which removes the time limit and lets you play as Chuck and Nick and adds zombie variants of the bosses. it's unlocked by beating the game." ❓❓ THIS is the weirdest part of the leak to me, weirder even than the additional Psychopath(s). It's the zombie variants of the Psychopaths and especially the ability to play as Chuck or Nick that elevates this to Probably Total Bullshit in my mind. It would be kinda interesting to see essentially super-HD versions of Zombie Jo, Cliff, and Kent from Chop Till You Drop, and fun to see zombie variants of everyone else, but I don't believe this one at all. And I kind of hope I'm right, because I would actually really really fucking love and much much much rather prefer an OTR style Sandbox mode over the zombie Psychopath thing. I don't think I want zombie Psychopaths in this mode IF they were to override the Sandbox-style Psychopath loop. HOWEVER, IF this mode is like OTR Sandbox AND the zombie Psychopaths exist SEPARATELY from the real ones? I'd allow it then. Also, if this is real there's a non-zero chance that "playing as Chuck and Nick" just winds up meaning alt costumes for Frank like the Chuck one they've showed us.

"'Concourse Plaza' located between the food court and entrance plaza, its where one of the new bosses are." ❓ More mention of new Psychopaths. Do we know about any new rooms or areas of the mall? Last I remember people have scrutinized the map on the website, but still nobody's 100% certain.

"Frank has a brand new face," ✅ "but TJ Rotolo is returning for him." 🚫 This is one of the things that makes me have doubts about this leaker and their source, aside from how wild shit like the "Legacy Mode" sounded. Not only is Frank very obviously not voiced by TJ Rotolo now, we have confirmation right out of the mouth, er, keyboard, of Rotolo himself that *he wasn't even contacted about DRDR in the first place*.

https://x.com/FrankByDaylight/status/1806716618699059583

(the link isn't linking but I'm too lazy to fix it right now, dunno why it's not working in the first place though)

This and some of the other stuff makes me feel as if the leaker was just largely making shit up and some of it just coincidentally happened to stick.

"All dialogue voiced." ✅ "Phil Lamarr plays Otis Washington." ❓ I want the Phil Lamarr part to be true so bad. Like, that would be so fucking cool, that's Wilt, that's Samurai Jack, Osmosis Jones, STATIC SHOCK. DUDE! PLEASE. I'd love to hear him as Otis so so much. I'm just excited in general about all the survivor dialogue to be fully voiced, I can't wait to hear what they decide to make everyone sound like, and who they cast for everybody. I actually wanted this a lot to the point that I specifically asked for it in that one survey Capcom did a while back. Though I do wonder if it was a bit of a monkey's paw wish, as this may be one of the biggest reasons Frank and possibly some others were recasted, it's possible that the need to record more lines but refusal to let TJ voice Frank again resulted in them having to redub Frank entirely so his voice is consistent across the whole game. Though if the theories about them not wanting to let TJ be Frank again because he's in a Union is true, then maybe they didn't even wanna pay him royalties for legacy audio usage either... then again if the mocap is still largely the same then would they not have to still pay TJ for that then? And they still had TJ voice Birkin in RE2 in 2019 so like I honestly have no fucking clue why they don't seem to wanna let him voice Frank specifically again bro. 🙃

That's the last of the stuff from the leak, TL;DR:

• They wrongfully said TJ would reprise Frank which makes me doubtful of the leak.

• Alleges, most likely true, that Infinity Mode still exists. If the 5 and 7 Day Survivor achievements still exist then I hope they made some sort of change to make it less grueling.

• Alleges that the Convicts will no longer respawn after being killed. Sounds nice if true but makes me concerned about whether the Jeep and mounted gun will ever reappear or not.

• Alleges a "Legacy Mode" with playable Chuck and Nick and zombified Psychopaths. Sounds dumb to me and kinda like the leaker is making at least some shit up wholecloth, makes me doubt them even more. And I want an OTR style sandbox with normal Psychopaths.

• Correctly predicted Frank's face change, mall being the same but with slight additions, and fully voiced survivor+Otis dialogue. I'm excited for the voiced survivor dialogue. Alleges Phil Lamarr will be Otis, which I hope is true.

[toomanythought]

By popular demand (one request from @minkibot ), here's some rambling on cloverian values and ideals:

Tonight we're thinking about cloverian beauty standards and the thought that's been put into the world building.

The primary example I'd like to start off with is muscles. Muscles, at least excessive ones, are considered unattractive because they are evidence of doing manual labor instead of just using magic (per my recollection at least. It could always have just been a theory I internalized).

Peasants don't have as much magic, and so they have to do manual labor by hand, thus leading to muscular development.

That lines up really well with the reasoning behind beauty standards throughout time (pretty much just whatever rich people look like lol), which is something I absolutely adore about the world building here.

A lot of fantasy media doesn't incorporate thought processes like that into their world building, and instead they just insert whatever modern thing is currently hot and move on. That's definitely pretty easy, and makes it easier for the audience to perceive and interpret things, so I'm not really complaining about it.

It does, however, add some extra layers to the society. We begin to see what might serve as motivators for people and what societal ideals might consist of, without either of those things needing to be outright stated.

I'd like to see BC expand on specific beauty ideals in the clover kingdom some more, but I'm going to try to do some breakdown of it from my own recollections.

Firstly: it would seem thinner people are in vouge, something I wouldn't have expected based on the previously defined fact of labor/exercise evidence = bad. In situations where some people have food and others don't, it's generally considered attractive to carry some weight (particularly women [we know this because of how art depicts them], although it varies more for men [men were also more likely to in general be doing hard labor and sports]). One possible explanation for the specific situation in BC is that only people in the forbidden realm ever struggle for food; this could mean that the nobles wouldn't have sought to differentiate in body type and beauty through weight in the referenced manner.

It's also possible that, since so many of the nobility serve as magic knights, most gentry happen to lead a very active lifestyle. Because of that, it's likely that being fit has evolved into a beauty standard, if only because that's what successful magic knights look like.

Regardless of your magical ability, you're probably gonna need to be able to move quickly. Someone who is lithe and fit is likely going to be viewed as a more practical candidate for whatever.

This idea of practicality is something I'd argue is a strong value in the clover kingdom, and even the wealthiest seem to stray away from what could easily be far more ostentatious. The caveat to that is, of course, that most of what we see comes from a military perspective, and so is more likely to be practical.

I'm gonna analyze this beauty stuff even more seriously now.

As far as textual evidence regarding cultural approaches to beauty go, we have two basic sources to draw from; Yuno, and Kirsch.

Yuno seems to be viewed as an ideal, although that's very likely due to the prioritization of magical power and skill over anything else. In fact, I'd actually argue that magical power IS the beauty standard (there's some of that practicality and usefulness [granted perspectives on what makes someone useful are a little skewed, but we'll save that for another time] idealization slipping in there).

One of the premises of BC is that someone's magic dictates their station in life, and can relatively quickly change it from whatever situation they were born into.

Sidenote: this is part of why I believe that the cloverian royalty are not inbred, but that's a post for yet another time.

Peasants experience great difficulty when it comes to upward mobility, which is on par with most of history, and very few struggle with downward mobility, also very on par with history; however what stands out to me is how easily the royals and nobles intermingle.

It isn't absurd for them to intermingle at all, however the ways in which they do can tell us a lot about where the kingdom is as a society (if my ideas about how the structure of society progresses sounds a little like Marxism to you... Then No it doesn't ❤️ hope this helps).

The story clearly takes place in a post-feudal society. We don't really know what the governing system was like during Lumiere's time, however we do know that population was much lower (thanks to some of the elves), which can give us an idea of how densely people lived.

That, along with the fact that the nobility are not spread out in a manner consistent with feudalism, but have instead been placed closer to the royals, indicates to me that this falls into that gray zone either before or after the nobility take power from the king and make the royals more puppet like (when I say this it should be taken with a grain of salt, since I don't mean that the royals lose ALL power, just that they are no longer omnipotent).

If it weren't for the strong control the royals have over the military and have been implied to have over the parliament (I'm not really sold that the Kira's [Fuegoleon and Nozel were able to override them with an order from the wizard king] have as much power as they think, but that's a problem for another time), I'd be inclined to say the nobility had fully replaced them as the ruling power (at least, as much as they do without killing them).

Okay I'm probably gonna say this several times but the Cloverian kingdom is very military-focused, at least from our perspective as the audience, so that's important to keep in mind.

Once again, this circles back to magic ability. The most powerful person in the kingdom isn't the king, born into the position, but the most adept magician, who has (in theory) earned their position via merit (we haven't seen corruption in the wizard king yet but we haven't really met many in the grand scheme of things so). We can extrapolate from there that the magic knights, while not entirely lacking in nepotism, are fairly merit-based.

Advantageous marriages, alliances, etc. therefore rely somewhat more on ability than actual birth place. The one marriage we really see (excluding the Agrippas, they're assumed outliers) is the one arranged between house Vaude and Finesse. Finesse is sickly, and although we haven't seen much of her magic power level, we can assume that she isn't very strong (relatively, at least) since she isn't a magic knight.

House Kira seems to take on a more administrative role in the government (I fully believe this to be some kind of negotiation between the houses), so it wouldn't be absurd to think Finesse just wasn't supposed to go into the magic knights. Regardless, she's definitely considered a low-power player in the grand scheme of things.

We haven't gotten an outside perspective on house Vaude, so I'm putting a pin in continuing to analyze this perspective. I have a few hypotheticals and speculations, but not very sound evidence.

Since the clover kingdom is a very military-minded state this all checks out mostly.

The more magic someone has, the more easily they can hold positions of power. This causes positions to default first to the royalty, however I have no doubt that powerful nobles can outclass members of the royal family in certain situations.

I've gotten majorly off track and have forgotten what my point was.

Basically it's attractive to have lots of magic power.

Kirsch lends some more evidence to this, very blatantly in fact. I'd like to note, however, that most magical things that Kirsch declares beautiful also have an underlying current of practicality to them, which could just be Kirsch's own personal preference, or could be a sign of a general appreciation for capable individuals.

TL;DR the clover kingdom primarily values merit (magical ability) gained through military and/or combat prowess.

[lokisprettygirl]

Loki is perfect. Gotta say that was very hot 😳. Them sleeping together is exactly what was needed to cut the tension and add the perfect amount of fluff. It's so sweet. Honestly I don't think I can ever cuddle another human being. I hate touching people but if it was loki, I'd be a koala wrapped around a tree😁. 30 woman is a good number but Loki's hot so that was expected 😏😏. And I understand that she slept with alot of men but why did she sleep with men that much older then her. I mean a 40 year age gap is too much for me. Maybe her daddy issues reflected very much their?🤔 and I'm sorry but how many times has steve raped her for her to talk so casually about it like she's talking about afternoon tea. It's very scary how she isn't bothered by it. Also Bucky is the worst!!! After steve ofcourse. I wonder tho if he hates her now because she probably acted indifferent after she found out what he was doing. Maybe his little ego was hurt or maybe he actually liked her😶😶. Or am I being weird again? Anyway, I just knoww that bitch bought Peter. Why is she trying to get her ass whooped by me. Because I will do it. I don't understand why she tries extra hard just to hurt y/n. Is it just the father manipulated thing or is there something else. Oh and why did they take Eric with them and not Loki on this trip, not that I'm complaining but isn't Bitchannah completely enamored by him🤔🤔?? I feel like the next chapter is gonna be the calm before the storm kind of thing. I'm very curious 😌.

🧁

I mean sameeeee I feel suffocated even sleeping next to someone. But if it was loki I'd be like "Yes suffocate me daddy😂😂"

I think she was just sleeping with everyone who gave her a look, like if she noticed that a man was attracted to her and she was attracted to him even if slightly she'd fuck him.

Steve is disgusting. I think she just lays there and take it so he wouldn't hurt her :(

Bucky is also the worst, I think she didn't give him any preference once she found the truth so there's that, he hates her because he didn't even get to do her 😂

Suzzanah is stupid, she raised red flags buy thirsting publically and Rocky can't have that. You know image and all.

💚💚

[spongebob-connoisseur]

care to share any headcannons? for any character of the show! i'd love to hear it

Hmm its hard to remember headcanons on the spot for some reason. Idk why I know them when I'm talking about something related to them but just suddenly asked I can't seem to remember.

Luckily I did answer a few asks a while ago about headcanons for specific characters! Hmm you're gonna have to dig for that :D

Also one I do remember, spongebob's gets his squareness from his father side.

Spongebob attended kamp koral on May 1st 1999 (actually canon) so that means the series takes place years later when he's older. The beginning of the series isn't the beginning of when the og show takes place. I always had this theory because it didn't make sense that SB got his job at the krusty krab when he was 13. Now I have a little smidget of proof to show the series takes place a few years after the show.

That pirate queen that Mr. Krabs kinda liked in his story in the episode pull up a barrel. I think that was pearls mom?? I know it shows sandy as the pirate queen but that's what Spongebob was imagining to Mr. Krabs story.

I always wondered how the gal pals thing worked since most of these characters have large age gaps and I can't inagine them interacting. Sandy and Karen makes sense but the rest not quite. I'm just gonna guess and suggest that Karen and Mrs. Puff bond over their partners feuds.

Mrs. Puff and Pearl have almost like a mother daughter bonding time? I think she'd try to get closer to Pearl.

Pearl and Sandy, I know in the pitch bible mentions pearl to be gifted in math. But also Pearl cares a lot about her reputation as a teenager. Perhaps she'd try to hide that and Sandy helps her get over that fear and embrace her skills?

Karen and Pearl. I think with Mr. Krab's and Plankton's thing going on, she grown acquainted to pearl like a family friend you'd refer to as aunt maybe?

Idk I'm just guessing with all this. I remember teasing with my friend a while ago that the gal pals episodes only exist probably because of nickelodeon's request. Kinda like the bechdel test. Spongebob Squarepants has a lot of female characters but they almost never interact. Only in the modern seasons they've began to. Which I don't mind. Sandy and Karen are the the best and I would trade my life for them. I feel like maybe Nick requested they interact somehow because this show is their biggest show. And you can tell the writers were playing around with "girl group, girl power!" Type thing. Especially since their first gal pal episode was them getting back at the guys they're frustrated with and complaining with.

This train of thought started because I realized a good handful of shows I grew up watching fail the bechdel test. It doesn't mean they're bad since I enjoy those shoes a lot. But looking back at it. The most they've ever done was throw in a tomboyish female character and be like girl boss, perfect role model 100%. Done all we could, nothing else to add.

Eh I wanted to make a separate post about this but also I don't want to cause beef. I think it's a bit of an interesting thing and I was curious about. I don't care for it much.

Spongebob is a result of nuclear radiation. The popular edgy internet theory. But it actually works. Especially due to an actual patchy short where he says the island above the bikini bottom is called the bikini atoll. I think that's more than enough proof.

Pearl's mom is dead. Likely died in childbirth. The movie kamp koral and tv show kamp koral are a year apart. Mr. Krabs was working as a cook in the movie's kamp koral. While the tv show hes now here as the head councilor and with bby Pearl. Pearl was just born. I think he initially worked at kamp koral for extra money but with Pearl's mom sudden passing, he had to take on more work and at a job that would allow him to watch his daughter at the same time.

Squilliam and Squidward's rivalry (also possible dating) took place in high school.

Bubblebass and Spongebob's rivalry also likely happened in high school, I like to imagine they initially became friends over comic books but because of bubblebass's selfishness, their friendship fell apart. They seemed like rivals long before the episode pickles anyways. He must have done something really bad for spongebob to be sour with him for so long.

Mmmm I think Pat likes sponge? A little more than special bbfs. Mans was ready to square up when cuddle e hugs had all spongebob's love. He literally says it out loud.

King Neptune shouldn't be ruler of the sea. I don't know much about mythology and all that but isn't Neptune the god of fresh water? And he's ruling the salty seas? Poseidon should have been ruler but from sponge on the run, we know he'd be terrible at that. Anyways instead of just leaving this as some thing the writers didn't think much about. I got a better idea! Poseidon was the rightful ruler of the deep blue. But seeing how Poseidon is, it was a better idea to pass the crown and responsibilities to Neptune instead. Neptune isn't the best ruler. He's very passive but relatively harmless. Now to prevent two gods from killing each other and wiping out the entire ocean in the process, Poseidon was given Atlantic city. Its a small bit of land but it's enough to satisfy him. He'd occupied with that and the glory of being a god and his vanity. He wouldn't cause much else trouble.

That's as much as I could remember on the spot. Sorry about the late reply since it took a while to gather some thoughts. My head is empty as space. Yeah there's things in there but they're usually far away unless they happen to be making their rotation closer. I usually don't remember stuff on the spot xD

Uhh so yeah 👀 that's why I recommend digging through old asks and finding some I wrote previously

[amaya-chwan]

Therapy Game Restart Discussion: Who is Onodera?

Hello everyone! Hope you are all well~ ❤️💛💜 I've had a headscratcher of an ask/message regarding Onodera, so I figured I'll make it into one big post!

Before I begin this Q&A/discussion post (feel free to comment below if you have any thoughts), I have looked through past chapters to gather the information I will put into this post to support my predictions. Not all chapters are readily available for everyone at the moment as only one volume of TGR is out right now, so I shall put the chapter numbers for your future reference! ⚠️ Also, just a note! These opinions are my personal thoughts, conjectures, and opinions, so please don't think I am saying one idea or speculation is wrong--this is just how I see it, and of course I could very well be wrong! And I also am not fluent in Japanese, so I may have some translation errors!

⚠️ Also, a warning, this will be a long post! Keep reading if you're interested and please let me know your own thoughts!

First, in an earlier ask, I was directed to a translation group that said Onodera is a man. With the help of Google and Google Translate (because I don't understand/speak Spanish), I found that post (dated April this year) and the origin of the picture they used in that post. The image is from Hinohara-sensei's 13th August 2020 tweet here and is also below for reference:

Now, all I can remember from first seeing that image is "Woow, so pretty! A female character? A love rival? A threat? OH it's the infamous director they're all talking about???"

This image was released around the time chapter 8 was released, i.e. the first chapter we see Onodera in full.

Looking at the image again, I can see how Onodera could be seen as a female or a male. Onodera has long hair, yet no visible breasts. There is no evidence of an Adam's apple, but that could just be because of the turtleneck as part of their outfit. Furthermore, in chapter 13, we see a view of Onodera from behind. There are no "womanly curves" visible in this view of Onodera.

After searching some Japanese blogs, some fans also had the same thoughts: no breasts = possible male, the shape of the face etc. Here are the blogs I found: [1] [2] [3] but most of these are from around chapter 8.

Just about the breast argument: there are a lot of different shapes for breasts. I learnt that when working at a department store selling bras during university. It is possible that Onodera is really flat chested or just has very little breast tissue. Not sure if that's getting too technical now, ahah, but what I want to say is that the lack of breasts isn't a definite yes to Onodera being a man.

Hinohara-sensei also has not explicitly stated throughout TGR so far (ch1-13) that Onodera is male or female.

From chapters 8-12, Onodera is always referred to as 院長 (director) by Shizuma and the nurses at the clinic. No gender-specific pronouns have been used in the story nor by any characters to refer to Onodera when speaking so far (that I have read). So confirming Onodera's gender is just misleading at the present moment.

We do find out in chapter 9 that Onodera's first name is 昌 akira. Akira is a gender neutral name in Japan. It is often given to males, but it is not uncommon for females to have this name. Which, I think, is genius on Sensei's part. It leaves us all thinking!

Q: So Amaya-chwan, what do you think Onodera's gender is?

Just for me as I've been reading TGR the past 1.5 years, I see Onodera as a woman as I have been "encouraged" to see Onodera as one by the little subtleties in the story, and Minato sees Onodera as a female, so I probably am viewing Onodera in Minato's POV.

(Please keep reading on for more insights and answers to questions! Really, this post is long! 😅)

In chapter 9, Onodera's older brother, who is also Shizuma's university professor (and his last name is not Onodera), makes small talk with Shizuma regarding the staff at his placement:

Shizuma's professor says: By the way, Shizuma-kun, how've you been!? You haven't been bullied, have you!? // The female team here is scary, right~ You know, Nakajou-kun and I were in the same grade...

So here, I'm made to think Onodera's clinic is pretty much all female, including Onodera too.

Fun fact: His professor uses the suffix -kun for Nakajou-sensei, yet Nakajou-sensei is a female and -kun is commonly used for males these days. But, it is also used for females in very specific situations. I'm not too sure what the situations are, but I have heard them used for females before.

In the same chapter (9), while Shizuma is changing out of his scrubs in the men's locker (?) room, Onodera walks in. He is slightly flustered, and kindly reminds her that she's walked into the men's locker room. Her reaction is "Huh? Ahh..." So here, again, I am made to believe Onodera is female.

While no gender-specific pronouns have been used to address Onodera, Minato and Itsuki have referred to Onodera as a female in chapter 13.

The kanji for "female/woman" is 女. In these two images, Minato refers to Onodera as 上司の女 female superior, and from Minato's story, Itsuki hence calls her 職場の女の人 female from (Shizuma's) workplace. This is the only time Onodera has been referred to as a female.

⚠️ Just a note going forward in this discussion, I will now call Onodera "she/her" as that is what I believe Onodera's gender is at the present moment!

Now, I did get a second ask from an Anon! Here they are below with my responses:

This one is about what's behind Onodera. I think she's a pretty interesting character. I actually think she's a trans woman or a non-binary trans woman. Sensei has been dropping so many hints to that... The name her brother calls her might be her dead name. He complains about her hair and what their father would say. She's designed to have flat breasts, perhaps she's not under hormone therapy, perhaps her "trips" and "days off" have something to do with reassignment surgeries...

She most definitely is an interesting character. I wouldn't say Onodera being transgender is out of the realm of possibility because the story is still ongoing. But regarding her name, I don't know if I'd call it a dead name since it is gender neutral already. Perhaps the kanji for a male Akira name would be different to a female one though?

About the hair comment (ch10), I just thought it was unruly? I honestly didn't think too much of it! What I will add is that the kanji for hair (髪) is used, but the reading is あたま head. Not sure why just yet, so I'll just leave that here as some extra information for the moment.

Not sure what I really think about a) her flat-chestedness and b) her insanely long business trips yet! I figured a) might be a character design, and b) she really is a top-notch veterinarian so she's probably in high demand. But I could be completely off the mark!

Also, I don't know where to add this random bit in from the story, but in chapter 12, we find out that Onodera has been calling one of the staff the wrong name for more than 10 years now. Not sure if this new piece of info affects anything?

But again, that is a very interesting prediction/thought you have about Onodera, and I wouldn't say it's not possible!

She's kind of a female Minato, psychologicallly and in appearance, which brings some challenges. And one more thing that I think hints to that: "I'll make it so your body can never be satisfied by any woman", Minato says to Shizuma. As the last chapter leaves it at that, we don't know exactly what he is talking about. [spoiler?] I haven't seen the Japanese text yet to be sure if he's clear about topping Shizuma.

That was exactly my thought when she was first introduced! That's part of the reason why I think Minato sees her as a threat, especially when he saw her for the first time and was told she is a 美人beautiful person (both in chapter 12). She and Minato definitely share some characteristics, but I find she's a bit more socially-awkward than Minato given her background (Chapter 9 & 10).

For the dialogue, the Japanese lines and the most literal translations I can give are:

今から　静真くんを���く From now, (I'll) hold/embrace you, Shizuma-kun.

どんな女に出会っても　絶対満足できない体にしてあげる No matter the women you encounter, I will make it so your body definitely cannot be satisfied (by any of them).

Hopefully we'll find out what Minato means by that exactly in the next chapter, which I hope comes to me this week!

But if that's what he's talking about, it's 1. poor Minato being transphobic (besides being biphobic towards his own boyfriend)* 2. poor Minato probably foreshadowing his own fall. If Onodera happens to be a woman with a d**k, she can do whatever Minato thinks a cis man only can do. That's not what will make Shizuma stay by his side. Shizuma will stay by his side because he loves Minato. And that's that. Debunks biphobic myths, debunks transphobic myths. *He's not a bad person, he's got issues

Okay, this is probably as straight-forward as I can say this, but I just want to say that I don't know enough about the issues faced by the LGBTQI+ community. My friends have kindly answered all my questions so far as I don't want to be ignorant or rude when learning more about my friends and the community. I don't want to give off the air that I'm assuming anything since I don't want any misunderstandings. And I am fully aware that I need to educate myself more regarding this!

So about Minato, I'm not completely sure what you mean by number 2. But he definitely has his share of trauma, insecurities, and fears regarding his relationship with Shizuma. Having Onodera as a threat in this story really helps drive Minato's growth. The story is titled Therapy Game Restart, so what I gather from the title is that Minato is going to face another fear/insecurity he has, something deeply-rooted in him, and it's going to get really heavy and complicated, but he will eventually get through it and it will help him heal and grow as a character, and hopefully strengthen his faith in his relationship with Shizuma.

So far, I believe this "fear" is carrying on from +Play More, that Shizuma can be whisked away by a female at any moment.

But yes, Minato has to realise for himself that his and Shizuma's love, relationship, and bond is strong enough for him to not worry about Shizuma leaving him so abruptly. He has to learn to trust in Shizuma more, and TGR is slowly revealing that, especially in chapter 13.

I'll stop here. I have already written long analyses on this series and I think about making them public at some point. But it would be nice to hear from you! Maybe I'm completely wrong in my interpretations! I'm really sorry for being so annoying and maybe using inappropriate language. I really didn't mean to bother you. But I never see anyone making these points. I just want to know if I'm thinking unreasonably...

I love reading different analyses, opinions, story predictions, the whole lot!! So please feel free to ask me or post your own ideas. It's always a welcome thing for me to discuss stories and learn new things! Don't be sorry that you're being a bother or annoying, because it's not a bother at all!

We're all allowed to have our own ideas and opinions about stories, and these ideas will change once something is canon in the story, and ultimately is something we will have to accept too.

So yeah, just my two cents. Thank you for being so patient with my response, dear Anon!

To anyone reading at this point, thank you for reading this far! ❤️💛💜

I shall see you in our next set of takeaways~ As always, stay safe and take care of yourselves and your loved ones! 💜

(2021-05-17: Speedy proofreading is done ahah! And yes, my brain is still so full of 山河令/Word of Honor right now, so I have been VERY distracted! Highly recommend this drama, guys! It's up for free on the official Youku Youtube page! Totally not an endorsement, but I love this drama! AHHHHH!! Gong Jun [Simon] be living on my mind rent free~)

[fluffyferalkacchan]

Kacchan & Deku: Win to Save and Save to Win - A circular path of parallels (part 1)

Okay so it had probably already been talked to death by now, but i'd like to write a detailed list of how Midoriya and Bakugou's respective paths are and had always been paralleled since the beginning. And it's not just with the whole "save to win and win to save" thing, which is the most obvious textual part of it, but there are a lot of more subtle hints along the way too. I mean in nearly every single arcs, for each of Midoriya development, Bakugou had one too (albeit in a completely opposite direction).

This post is also partly in response to some anime-only fans who complained about Bakugou's development in the Joint Training Arc coming from the left field... Which actually isn't? Like Kirishima said it had never been as obvious before but there were definite hints about it and I'll try to show them as thoroughly as possible in this post.

Warning ! This post will be quite long and will contain Manga Spoilers up to chapter 317 in part 3!

¤ From the Pre-UA era To Deku vs Kacchan: their starting lines

(more under the cut)

When I said that the parallel started early, I really meant early. In fact, it started as early as the very first panel they were in.

I think it is very telling that the first time we saw them, Midoriya is trying to defend another kid, while Bakugou is seen using his quirk (and actually introducing the reader/viewer to the whole concept of quirk in the first place). It tells us right here, right then on the very first second, that Midoriya Izuku is physically weak but a savior at heart and Bakugou Katsuki has a strong quirk but is a bully asserting his dominance.

This of course led to diametrical beliefs on what a hero is and should be and we've got those two very iconic moments to illustrate:

And of course it reflected into their behaviors, even as kids.

What I find really interesting in the way those flashbacks were presented is that Midoriya's saving moment was told through Bakugou's POV, while Bakugou's winning side was seen through Midoriya's eyes.

Those moments were deemed important because they deeply impacted the witnessing party and not actually the "wining/saving" one.

(I think someone commented once that while the river scene was highly pivotal for Bakugou, Midoriya probably doesn't even remember it. And likewise Bakugou probably doesn't remember fighting and winning against some random older kids, but Midoriya definitively does. And I totally agree!)

At those moment both Bakugou and Midoriya saw in the other something that they were clearly lacking and their reactions to this realization were wildly different as well.

"He doesn't take himself into account, you know. Something doesn't feel right. It makes me wanna keep him at arm's length. Back then, I ignored my own weakness, so I ended up bullying him" - Bakugou Katsuki

"You who had so many things I didn't have... To me, you were an amazing person much closer than All Might! That's why I keep chasing after you!!" - Midoriya Izuku

Midoriya saw this amazing kid kicking ass with his strong quirks and his first reaction was admiration and wanting to get as close as possible to this person, because he was all too aware of his own weakness and shortcoming.

Bakugou saw this selfless kid trying to help him and displaying qualities that he didn't have and his first reaction was to lash out and push that kid as far away as possible because he didn't want to recognize his own weaknesses and shortcomings.

Which, you know, probably describes their entire childhood dynamics haha...

... and then the sludge villain happened.

And it brought with it the iconic "My legs moved on their own" and "Your eyes were begging for help" moments which we all know about of course, but this scene also had another more immediate parallel that I'd like to talk about.

Bakugou tried to fight the sludge villain on his own but ultimately failed to win.

Midoriya tried to rescue Bakugou on his own from the sludge villain but ultimately failed to save him.

The sludge villain was a reality check for both of them, in a "Nope kiddos, you might aspire to be heroes, but you still have a very long way to go. Here let's insert an All Might to show you just how far away your goal is," kind of way?

Anyway fast-forward 10 months of intense training to prepare for the UA entrance exam.... and really do I even have to mention this?

I mean the only way it could have been even more textually obvious is if Midoriya had been ranked sixth instead of seventh so that his name would be right next to Bakugou's... like there's even this panel explicitly pointing everything out.

So yeah... nothing to add there, *shrugs*

After that came the Quirk Assessment Test:

I'm going to come back to this later on in a more detailed way, but regarding their personal development; Midoriya's development is external while Bakugou's is internal. And I don't quite consider the quirk assessment test as "progress" for any of them yet because both of them sort of completely miss the point.

Aizawa told Midoriya "How can you save anyone if you can't move after one hit?" which had the underlying message of "It's not okay to hurt yourself"... But Midoriya totally went like, "Okay then I'll just hurt myself in a way in which I can still move afterward!" So yeah he is just sidestepping the problem here, but well there probably wasn't anything else he could do here.

As for Bakugou, he had always feel threatened by Midoriya's presence, but not in a fighting skills context. They are not really competing on the same field and it had never occurred to Bakugou that Midoriya could really beat him in a one-to-one fight.

As hilarious as the thought of Bakugou truly believing that somehow Deku had managed to take head on building-high robots quirkless is, I think what really happened is... Bakugou saw his own 0 rescue points and thought "Oh... so that's how Deku got in. Damn nerd probably went and save shitty extras left and right!". Which is a more realistic feat to manage quirkless. Anyway my point is, Bakugou realizing Midoriya isn't quirkless should have been a "Shit! He's leveling the field and standing on my playground now!" moment...

But no, what overpowered him here is the thought that the whole time Midoriya had been hiding his quirk from him and went like "What? Am I not good enough for you to use your quirk on me?! STOP LOOKING DOWN ON ME!!! EXPLAIN YOURSELF RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, SHITTY DEKU!!"

So yeah... kind of missing the point too.

Which is why the quirk assessment test wasn't really their starting point but more like them trying to look for it but missing it?

Speaking of starting lines... Let's move on to the Deku vs. Kacchan first round.

B"From watching the match, it appears Bakugou acted n to surpass Bakugou, All Might pointed that those were the first passionate emotions Midoriya had shown other than "I want to be a hero!". This was the very first moment where Midoriya's desire to win was stronger than his desire to save.

As for Bakugou, this was the moment where he truly he realized that Deku is a threat and not just through his natural heroic/saving disposition like before but on the battlefield which used to be 100% Bakugou's area of expertise. And if even with his non-existent control of quirk Deku had managed to win to such extent, what would happen when Deku managed to truly master his own quirk? Total defeat?! Bakugou is self-aware enough to realize that while his own fighting skills and quirk mastery could still progress, they were already near the top with a not wide enough margin for improvement.

This was the moment where Bakugou realized where he truly stood compared to everyone else around him and that if he wanted to reach the very top again, then only relying on his fighting skills and his quirk control would never be enough. This is what prompted out his feelings of "I have to change or I'll be left in the dust".

And since Deku went and encroached on Bakugou's playground and beat him in the process, there's no way in hell Mr Complete and Irrefutable Win over there wouldn't aim to do exactly the same at some point.

Anyway the two gifs above showed us their motivation to reach their respective Win/Save side of the spectrum, but they both have big issues they need to work on in order to do so.

"From watching the match, it appears Bakugou-san acted on his own because of an obviously personal grudge. As as All Might-sensei said previously, it is foolish to launch a large-scale attack indoors.

In the same way, taking into consideration the damage he received, Midoriya-san's plan was also rash." - Yaoyorozu Momo

Yaoyorozu's analysis was super spot on and hit straight where their weaknesses lie: Bakugou needs to stop acting on his own and learn to cooperate with/trust his teammates and Midoriya needs to stop hurting himself/self-sacrifice and learn to properly control his quirk.

Both of them also have these super heavy shackles that keep pulling them down and impeding their progress at every turn:

Bakugou's complex feelings and emotionally explosive baggage towards Midoriya that makes him go feral and irrational at the drop of a hat and clearly prevents him from properly considering Midoriya as the rival that would keep pulling him up

Midoriya's total and utter idolization of All Might that gives him a tendency to imitate his idol and clearly prevents him from properly realizing and unlocking the potential of his own quirk

And at that point, they clearly don't realize how cumbersome those shackles could be if left unaddressed too long.

Anyway... this episode/chapter was called "Bakugou Katsuki: Starting line", but I think it can be considered both their starting lines, because this is when they were made aware of what they are lacking and showed their resolve to change.

Midoriya's progress and development is intrinsically linked to his quirk mastery and fighting style, which are inherently physical skills (which is where Bakugou's excels in). It stands to reason then that his progress would therefore be very flashy, hard to miss, and highly praised due to the external aspect of his development.

On the other hand Bakugou's progress and development hinges on him properly getting in touch with his emotions and connecting to other people in healthy way, which are inherently inner-strength qualities (which Midoriya has no shortage of) . It stands to reason then that his progress would therefore be very subtle, mostly unnoticed, and hardly taken into account due to the internal aspect of his development. (Like it'd probably only takes him having a full meltdown or throwing himself in front of someone else for other people to notice how far he had gone!)

[eryiss]

Summary: Freed and Gajeel were total opposites in every way, only connected by the guild. When they were forced to train together under Makarov's orders, they expected antagonism and mistrust. Instead, they were given a lesson in how quickly opposition can turn to attraction. The issue: let the budding relationship simmer away, or let it explode. [Freed x Gajeel Multi-chapter]

Notes: Hi everyone. Strap in for character development, and the ridiculous lengths that are needed to cause the development. Hope you all enjoy.

Links: FFN, Ao3, Chapter List

Chapter Four - Fighting In The Moonlight

Day Three: Wednesday

When Freed woke the next day, he wasn't surprised to find he didn't suddenly like Gajeel Redfox. The last few days of pointless antagonism and ridiculous challenges didn't slip his mind, and the stalemate between them was as tenuous as it could possibly be. This was what he expected; a weak apology after an argument was hardly going to fix everything that had happened between them in such a short time, and the overwhelming dislike they held from each other. That wasn't how emotions worked, and it certainly wasn't how Freed worked as a person.

Though, the multiple blow-ups that Freed had indulged in were hardly how he acted either. Maybe Gajeel had knocked him off kilter more than he thought.

The rest of the last night had been awkward; perhaps the most awkward situation they had been in yet. At least before, they'd had their anger and resentment to focus on, but their conversation seemed to take that away. For the rest of the night, they were two men who had a lot of issues and no way to voice them, healthily or otherwise.

A few times, Freed had considered apologising. Then, he told himself that he had nothing to apologise for, and that Gajeel was the one in the wrong. That left him with a sickly feeling in his stomach, because he knew it wasn't entirely true.

Dammit. Freed wasn't particularly fond of emotional exploration, and Gajeel had somehow forced it on him.

"I know yer awake," Gajeel grumbled, voice more sleepy than angry. Freed opened his eyes slowly to see the sun in its mid-morning state - it still annoyed him slightly that Gajeel was an early riser while Freed was fond of sleeping in - and Gajeel sitting by a fire. "I made you breakfast."

With a little frown, Freed sat up as he blinked away the sleep. He had been doing all of their cooking since they had arrived, partially because Gajeel wanted to test him and partially because Gajeel clearly liked what Freed could do with fish. This was one of the aspects of the week Freed had actually liked, as cooking in multiple situations with limited resources was something he found oddly fun. Still, he wouldn't complain if Gajeel was going to take over the chore in some kind of peace offering. He looked at the breakfast offered to him and scrunched his face in confusion.

He had made toast. Had he made bread somehow? No, that was ridiculous.

"It ain't poisoned," Gajeel continued speaking. "I ain't pissed on it or anything."

"That didn't once cross my mind," Freed croaked a little as he spoke. "I was confused as to where you got the bread from."

"There's a village with a bakery half an hour's walk away, stopped by and got some supplies," Gajeel shrugged, and Freed frowned. Surely that went against the entire point of this survivalist retreat. Gajeel seemed to preempt the question. "The whole living off the forest thing was because I didn't think you could handle it. Sounds petty when I say it out loud," He chuckled. "But a mage can't stay in a hotel - I thought that's what you were doin' - so I wanted to make sure you could handle yerself. You can, so no point in eating fish again when we don't have to."

Oh, that was shockingly mature. Both the admission and the reasoning for stopping the survivalist aspects of the training. Perhaps Gajeel had more emotional maturity than Freed was giving him credit for.

Perhaps it was his time to make an effort too.

"That's reasonable," Freed agreed, taking the toast before speaking again. The next sentence he had to force out before annoyance at Gajeel filled him again. "I must admit, if we're being honest with one another, I have found your exercise to be rather genius. I'm quite impressed."

Oh, he actually meant that. That was unexpected.

"Genius?" Gajeel scoffed. "You makin' fun of me?"

"Not at all," Freed corrected, because if he actually did think Gajeel was impressive then he wasn't going to recant on his words. "The fact you've essentially made a gymnasium out of things you can find in a forest is impressive itself. It allows for the benefits of specific exercise, while also lowering the limitations. You could learn to swim in a pool, for example, but learning in a lake adds the complications of pond life, temperature, shorelines and distractions. You could weight train with barbells, but doing it with the tree trunk means you're ready to lift things that aren't meant to be lifted and will offer less support," He took another bite of the toast. "You've essentially replaced the comfort of a gym with the practical requirements of a mission environment. It's quite impressive."

"Oh, shit," Gajeel grumbled a little, and looked away. "Thanks."

"There's also your intention to push my limits," Freed saw Gajeel tense just a little. "If I were the type of man you wanted me to be, I expect this would have been torturous. So not only did you make a practical training environment, you found a way to do it while also making me uncomfortable as you could," He smirked a little. "You're smarter than you look, Gajeel."

"Can't tell if yer complementin' me or not."

"I am, if a little backhandedly," Freed commented, and Gajeel hummed a little.

They sat beside one another for a short while, and Gajeel wordlessly handed Freed a small metal mug filled with coffee. It wasn't the type of bean that Freed would have chosen for himself, but there was a certain satisfaction in the burn on his tongue. He also normally would have added some milk, but this particular roast didn't seem to need it. He would have to look into it.

When their breakfasts had been finished, neither man spoke for a few minutes more. Freed still expected Gajeel to have some sort of challenge or task ready for him as he had the previous two days. Eventually, once the quiet had begun to unnerve him, he spoke again.

"Other than the fight, what have we planned today?"

"Kinda thought that was all we needed," Gajeel shrugged, not looking towards Freed as he kicked dirt onto the fire to extinguish it. "Maybe we could go back before it gets dark? I dunno."

"Right," Freed was speaking quietly. Something was clearly wrong with Gajeel. "If you wish."

"Ain't got anything else planned," Gajeel stood as the fire burned away.

"Right," Freed repeated, disbelieving. Had he hurt Gajeel's feelings? That didn't make him particularly good. It didn't make him feel guilty, exactly, but it wasn't great. "I'd like to stay until the evening at least. Maybe returning to Magnolia at night would be good for us both; I don't typically travel at night so perhaps it will help broaden my horizons."

"If you want," Gajeel still wasn't looking at him.

"So, if we've got most of the day with nothing to do, perhaps we should go with what you planned originally," Freed suggested, and Gajeel glanced towards him for a moment. He looked away quickly. "I expect it would be equal parts humiliating and exhausting."

"Oh yeah," Gajeel chuckled a little. "You would've cried."

"Would I?" Freed challenged. "Maybe you should prove it."

"Maybe I should."

When they looked at each other again, they both wore the familiar edge of challenge in their eyes, but this time the reasoning behind it was different. Not kind, not friendly, but not hateful either. An odd middle ground, one that they could work with.

——

"On the count of three, we fight," Gajeel stated, and Freed gave a nod.

It was evening now, with the moon high in the sky and the stars illuminated the darkness. As they had for the last three days, Freed's muscles ached from a day of physical activity and a variety of challenges. Today, though, had been a little different. While the challenges were clearly designed to prey on Freed's supposed weaknesses, Gajeel approached them with an attitude almost teacherly in his helpfulness. An entirely reluctant teacher who had lost all enthusiasm for his job, but a teacher nonetheless.

They had made camouflage for themselves, which consisted of covering their exposed skin in mud and leaves. Freed suspected that if they'd done it the day before, Gajeel would have sat back and watched with Freed amusement. Instead, he showed Freed what to do, and led by example.

Next, they'd made a boat out of dead wood, originally to highlight the lack of practical skills Gajeel thought Freed had. But under Gajeel's tutelage - he'd done this many times before meeting Pantherlilly, so was proficient at it - they managed to make a working raft.

After that, Gajeel had lifted the no magic rule. He thought that, for their fight, they should know their opponent. They had taken turns showing off their magic, using it against a tree. Freed had been pleasantly surprised by the range of spells that Gajeel possessed. He had thought the man could only turn his body to iron, so to see what he was capable of was enlightening.

Honestly, it has been a good day. Maybe the other days would have been good if they hadn't been determined to hate one another.

"Three," Gajeel said, voice low. "Two. One."

They both lurched forward, Gajeel with iron crawling up his arms to replace his skin and Freed with runes spiralling down his sword. They were both fully dressed in their normal clothes - their coats had been essentially abandoned on the first day, so the extra weight was a little unfamiliar - so that they could battle in the same conditions they would in a mission environment. Now that he had a glimmer of objectivity, Freed could admit that Gajeel really had thought this out well. Tactically, he was bordering on genius.

An extended fist cast in iron shot towards Freed, and he pushed his sword to parry it. He was knocked back, but managed to stay on his feet. With a muttered spell, the runes swirling around him shot forward, plastering themselves onto Gajeel's metal skin.

The yelling of pain was cathartic, and Frees watched with a grin as Gajeel recoiled.

Still, Gajeel clearly wasn't the type to let some pain runes stop his stubbornness. He gritted his teeth and lurched forward, arm mutating into a blade of black steel. The magic used to cast the spell must have overwhelmed the pain runes, as they shattered on his skin, and Freed cussed under his breath. Dragon Slayer magic was inherently powerful, so simply plastering the man with runes until he could no longer stand wouldn't be enough.

Gajeel ran forward with his sword arm extended, and swung for Freed's gut. Freed lowered his sword to protect himself, and saw that Gajeel's sword arm wasn't as sharp as it could have been. More a baton than a blade.

How considerate.

For a while, all they could do was parry one another. Freed needed to reevaluate his strategy while Gajeel needed to build up to something more powerful. Freed was a better swordsman, and until Gajeel had enough energy to use his ranged spells, they were at a stalemate.

Metal beat against metal as they battled, cutting through the relative silence of the forest. The moonlight and the stars illuminated the battle, dancing off the nearly stilled lake they had chosen to fight beside. Were there any wildlife nearby, they had decided to scarper away, no doubt sensing the overwhelming magical energy emanating from the two fighting men.

Freed's sword met Gajeel's, and the sparks that flew made both men wince and recoil a little. They both jumped back a few steps, panting and taking a moment to recover.

"Sword ain't just a prop, huh?" Gajeel huffed. "If my skin wasn't iron, you would've got a few cuts in."

"And if you hadn't dulled your arm perhaps you might have to."

"Couldn't risk cutting yer perfect skin," Gajeel taunted, but it didn't feel as cruel as his other comments had been intended to be. "Basically all you've got, isn't it?"

"We'll see," Freed retorted.

With a sweeping motion of his sword, Freed quick-casted a perimeter of runes around them. They implanted themselves in the dirt before glowing bright and magical. Walls shot upwards and the effect took place, lifting both of them off the air as the effect of gravity lessened. Gajeel seemed taken aback, stumbling in the air that lifted him and looking for something to latch onto. He found nothing, and Freed smirked a little.

Freed cast his own wings to counteract the gravity spell. Runes now flying around him, he forced his magic outwards and sent tendrils of power towards his opponent. Normally this combination of spells would have been too taxing, but three days without had given him an excess of power.

Iron cut through his runes, and Gajeel's extended fist slammed into Freed's face in a vicious punch.

Dazed, it took him a moment to see what had happened. With his left hand, Gajeel had made multiple strands of iron and buried them into the ground, allowing himself to be anchored in place. He had pulled himself down so that he was on the ground again, albeit a little unsteady on his feet. With this stability, he was able to essentially make Freed's gravity rune useless.

A metal hand wrapped tightly around Freed's neck, and pushed him into one of the large trees in the rune perimeter. Freed gasped a little, his throat being crushed as Gajeel pushed forward. Even knowing the man would stop before seriously injuring him, Freed began to panic. A tingling of brimstone rose over his skin.

Instantly, he cast a spell. The reversal of the gravity spell, that doubled the pressure rather than halved it. They were both flung to the ground, and Gajeel's extended arm retreated to prop him up.

Both men struggled to keep themselves from collapsing, and Freed felt the magic flowing through him. Powerful and relentless, he quickly tried to utilise it. Tentacles of runic streams shot forward, all meant to hurt their target. They wrapped around Gajeel's arms, legs and neck, burning into him and making him yell in pain.

Scales formed on Freed's arm, but he didn't notice.

"Iron Dragon's Roar!" Gajeel yelled over the pain runes, and a flurry of magic filled the space between them.

The spell hit Freed like a truck. The dominating burn of powerful magic hit him, the pain tripled by the barrage of metallic shrapnel cutting away at his skin. A dragon slayer's roar was an experience that Freed had so far avoided - when he trained with Laxus, the other man refused to use the spell for fear of hurting his teammates - and the unfamiliar sensation was hellish. He was knocked off his feet, flung backwards and pinned against the wall of runes by Gajeel's magic. He knew he was yelling in pain, but couldn't hear himself.

Seeing it as his only next step, Freed cut the gravity runes entirely. For a moment he was forced back further by Gajeel's roar, and he yelled in pain as his back cracked against a fallen log. At least the change of gravity had thrown Gajeel off balance, as his roar cut through the trees, and into the sky, parting the clouds.

Brimstone. Fire. Darkness. They all coursed through Freed's veins.

He didn't notice it, though. The pain from the spell and subsequent fall was all-consuming, meaning the mutation of the skin on his right arm turning to scales went unnoticed, as did the burning in his throat.

Gajeel, apparently less affected by the fight than Freed, was on his feet and running towards Freed quickly. He had turned his arm to the sword again, and Freed could see he was grinning through red tinted eyes. Gajeel clearly thought that this fight was already finished, and Freed felt a rush of anger flow through him.

He would not lose a fight to Gajeel Redfox.

He would not lose a fight to a man who had tried to humiliate him.

He would not lose a fight to a man who had disrespected him.

He would not lose a fight to a man so inferior to him that he shouldn't be breathing the same fucking air to him!

Oh. It was too late, wasn't it.

Without control of his body, Freed raised his arm. It had been fully transformed into it's demonic counterpart, and Freed could only watch as magic crackled and formed at the end of his claw. He couldn't stop it now, it was too late for that. His attention had slipped, and Gajeel's parting of the clouds had allowed for direct moonlight to hit him, strengthening the demon inside of him enough for a minor takeover,

A beam of concentrated darkness flew from his claw, hitting Gajeel directly. The spell was an amalgam of every rune Freed had: pain, torment, trauma, paralysis, unconsciousness, poison. In a word, the spell was hell.

It hit Gajeel right in the heart, and Freed watched with wide eyes.

The ensuing scream sent a chill through him.

Gajeel flew backwards, and Freed watched as his eyes closed and he was knocked out. With heavy breaths, Freed forced his arm upwards and shot as much magic through his claw as he could. It was a foreign and horrible sensation, turning his runic magic into darkness, but he needed to do it. He was burning through all the magic that the demon had taken from him, exhausting himself to the point where the demon's influence would have to die out. The magic ripped away at him, and the claw began to shrivel.

The exhaustion hit him in waves, and his bones felt like they might break. He panted and heaved, nausea hitting him as he closed his eyes. It was only when he heard a loud, echoing splash that he forced his eyes open again.

Gajeel was in the lake, unconscious and with his energy sapped from him.

With as much energy as he could muster, Freed ran towards the lake and dove in. The cold hit him and woke him slightly, and he pushed on to swim towards where Gajeel had landed. The ripples were still breaking the surface, acting like a beacon for Freed to find him. He pushed on despite his aching arms, gritting his teeth as the creeping of brimstone ran over the back of his exposed neck.

Gajeel wasn't floating. He was sinking. Ignoring the demon fighting for his body, Freed submerged himself in the water and began to swim down. He saw Gajeel's body and quickly hooked his arms around the man's chest. He was limp, and Freed was quickly pulling him to the surface.

Dragging him to the shore was hellish. His body screamed in protest, but he kept going until they were on the rocks that bordered the lake. Freed wanted nothing more than to lie down and let his exhaustion take over, and he very

Gajeel was still unconscious.

Putting him on his back with his head tilted back slightly, Freed pinched Gajeel's nose and brought his mouth to Gajeel's. He breathed in heavily, forcing air into the man's lungs as best he could. He alternated between that and chest compressions, arms still burning as he forced his hands on the other man's chest.

Eventually, Gajeel spluttered out and spat water towards the side. He coughed and groaned, throat hoarse and eyes unblinking. Freed wanted to explain, or at least to help Gajeel further with his recovery, but felt exhaustion overtake him. He quickly wrote a rune to heat and protect them, before his eyes fluttered shut.

——

"You lost control, didn't ya?"

Gajeel's words cut through the silence of the train ride to Magnolia. From the moment Freed had woken up half an hour ago, their conversation had been limited. They had discussed if they were both healthy and uninjured (they were, more or less) and how they should get home in their exhausted state. Freed had teleported them both to the train station, and runed their carriage so Gajeel wouldn't be overly affected by his motion sickness. That had been it for conversation.

Freed had hoped to keep it that way. His relationship with Gajeel was tense enough before he attacked and nearly killed him, he now expected a verbal and perhaps physical assault from the other man now. He would have deserved it as well. But Gajeel had said nothing, as if he didn't have the energy to be angry,

"Excuse me?" Freed asked, pretending as if Gajeel wasn't entirely right.

"You didn't mean to do that spell, probably didn't mean to transform yer arm either, did ya?" Gajeel shrugged, as if the statement was both uninteresting and unimportant. When Freed said nothing, he continued. "You looked scared. Scared of yerself when you hit me with the spell, and scared for me when you resuscitated me."

"I didn't want to see you injured," Freed brushed off, Gajeel did not need to know about this. "Perfectly rational."

"If you didn't wanna injure me then you wouldn't have used the spell," Gajeel shrugged, looking at Freed as Freed looked out the window. "I deserve to know what happened, City-Boy."

Freed wanted to scoff, but perhaps Gajeel was right.

"No, I didn't intend to use the spell on you," Freed admitted, watching as the night rolled past them. "You have my apologies."

He wouldn't meet the man's eyes, because he didn't need to dammit. Gajeel had spent the last three days - well, two days, since he'd changed his mood today - tormenting Freed in whatever way he could. The entire point of this exercise had been to make Freed feel small, and pathetic; well, maybe not. He could have been crueler, and he did seem to have a flimsy reasoning behind everything he had done. Either way, Freed using a single spell on him didn't suddenly make them best friends, and it certainly wasn't enough to make Freed forget what had happened throughout the week.

Frankly, perhaps Gajeel deserved it. He might have deserved to be left in the lake!

Gods.

The realisation hit Freed with force. The attempts by his demon to possess him brought a lot of anxieties up to the surface, mainly about the possibility of losing control of his body. It was a valid concern - the demon would kill everything in its way if in control - but often made him forget about the smaller repercussions of his demon's growing power.

It wasn't just physical, the demon's effect was emotional. While it grew in power, it's cruelty infected the mood of him and everyone around him. It was why he had exploded at Gajeel so many times, and perhaps the reason Gajeel was hell-bent on making this horrid for him.

Dammit, he should have known this. He should have told Gajeel that this might happen!

"I can almost hear ya thinkin'," Gajeel commented. "And I know I ain't been fair in ya, but I don't think yer some kid without restraint. So you wanna explain what happened?"

Maybe he did owe Gajeel that.

It was comical really. Now he knew his demon was to blame for his foul mood, he suddenly saw how ridiculous it all was. Gods, how hadn't he realised it before.

"My demonic take-over isn't exactly like that of the Strauss'," Freed sighed, looking towards Gajeel again. "Rather than being born with a demonic alter-ego, like Mirajane, I have a living demon inside of my soul. Technically speaking, I'm being possessed at all times, I simply have the right magic to stop it from taking over."

"Oh," Gajeel grunted, because he clearly couldn't think of anything else to say. Freed expected that, most people didn't know how to react when they were told a demon could overthrow the man next to them. "Shit."

"It is," Freed agreed. "Typically it isn't an issue. It gets stronger around the full moon, and around the shortest day of the year. When they happen to coincide, it's power grows and incidents like that happen. I should have warned you, I'm sorry."

Gajeel didn't say anything. He looked Freed up and down, clearly worried. Freed understood that.

"It won't happen again," He assured, though it wasn't exactly a promise he could keep,

"You really got a demon living in you?" He asked, and Freed nodded slightly. "How the hell did that happen?" They weren't there yet. Freed tensed a little, and Gajeel seemed to know that was a limit not to push. "You gonna be okay to keep going with this? I know I was trying to push you around but if we need to call it in, I don't think Makarov's gonna be too bothered."

"It should be fine," Freed said firmly. "It only happened tonight because I lost concentration. I won't allow that to happen again."

He wouldn't. The demon was not going to control him, nor his life.

"Well, now I know what to do if it happens again," Gajeel said, and he was smirking now. Not a condescending one, nor particularly cocky. It was to break the tension. "So if yer voice gets all creepy and yer eye all glowing, I'll knock yer ass right out before y' can blink."

"You have my eternal thanks," Freed drolled.

"These runes are fucking amazing y'know," Gajeel turned the conversation away. "Ya think you'd be able to teach the bookworm how to cast 'em. Don't think I'm gonna get on a train without 'em anymore. Finally understand why people find it relaxing."

"I don't expect so," Freed chuckled a little. "They're more complex than you'd think. Levy might not be prepared for a spell like it just yet."

"Say that to her and I think she'd hit ya," Gajeel laughed. "But if that's the case, then I might have to kidnap ya for my next mission. Ain't a problem right?"

"Well, if you're being so kind as to offer to knock me out, then I suppose I owe you," Freed smiled a little.

"Damn right ya do," Gajeel grinned right at him, sharp teeth so clearly visible. "Especially after the fun couple days we just had."

For the first time, the two men shared a laugh together.

[firstumcschenectady]

“Every. Single. Time.” based on Exodus 16:2-4, 9-15

As far as I can tell, the stories of the wandering in the desert are stories of the people learning dependence on God. Many of the stories of Exodus repeat the narrative “(1) Something was wrong, the people were worried. (2) The people complained. (3) God provided.” Since deserts aren't super hospitable to life, they make sense as places people can learn their dependence. The writer of Deuteronomy ends up worrying that once the people enter the “land of milk and honey” they'll forget that they are dependent on God. In the early centuries of Christianity the “Desert Fathers and Mothers” returned to the desert to seek connection with the Divine, and learn again the lessons of dependence.

Historically, there are some reasons to question the overarching narrative of the 40 year wandering in the desert. It may be MORE true that some of the proto-Israelites were desert nomads for a prolonged time in their history, and some of the proto-Israelites were slaves who had escaped from Egypt, and some of the proto-Israelites were Canaanites who decide to follow YHWH when the nomads and former slaves told their stories about YHWH. I rather like this idea, because it is pretty easy to see how nomadic hunter-gatherers in a harsh desert climate would definitely experience the gift of life as a gift from God. And, that their descendants who lived a more settled and fertile existence could relatively quickly change their minds about how lucky they are to be simply alive.

I rather like how these stories begin. The people are frightened for their lives. There is a lack of FOOD or WATER, and those are seriously dangerous lacks. The stories present frightened people as appropriately and realistically negative. They grumble. They mumble. They complain. They romanticize their former lives. In this case, they say, “If only we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots and ate our fill of bread; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger." And, I'll admit, I feel for Moses and Aaron. That ISN'T FAIR. It isn't even TRUE. But, I also feel for the people, because when humans are frightened for their lives, they really can't be held accountable for being “unfair” much less have reasonable perspective.

In these Exodus stories, every single time, God intervenes and provides. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Sometimes Moses and Aaron get annoyed, sometimes God gets annoyed, sometimes as a reader it gets annoying that they don't learn how to trust faster, but God provides EVERY SINGLE TIME.

And I have some feelings about that, because in our world today there is both an abundance of food and an abundance of hunger. Based on both the stories of our faith and the miraculous food producing capacity of the earth, I'm pretty sure that the story is STILL that God provides. But... human beings get in the way. We hoard (the US government is one of the worst), we promote “competition” for who gets to eat, we blame the hungry for being hungry, and we permit wealth to rise to the top no matter the cost to the bottom.

God provides.

Humans intercept.

The challenge is not scarcity – there is enough. There is MORE than enough. The problem is distribution . That is, the problem is acting out the belief that all people are worthy of surviving and thriving, as beloveds of God.

Around here, we try to do our part to change that story. We promote the humanity and belovedness of all people. We have a free breakfast, and we give people extra food to help them make it through the week. We advocate for policies to alleviate hunger everywhere in the world. We donate to SICM and help with summer lunches. We educate ourselves about food distribution, and work with “Bread for the World.” Our tithes and offerings promote justice and compassion programs around the world, and our extra gifts to UMCOR just add on to it.

But, it is a big problem and there is lot of work to be done to BOTH feed all of God's people AND change policies so we don't allow anyone to be hungry.

Some of the reason I said all that is because it is true. Another reason is because I'm about to take this story metaphorically, and I could not do so in good faith until I also took the literal meaning of hungry people seriously as well. Especially now when A LOT more people are hungry world wide then were before the pandemic.

When I first considered this passage, my attention was drawn to that complaining and yearning for Egypt. It seemed worth talking about our yearning for what used to be, and how the yearning can erase the realities of the past – things like slavery for example. Much of what I hear, and a good portion of what I experience these days is a yearning for pre-pandemic times. Recently, after I'd shared a bit about how odd it was to give birth during a pandemic and how unexpected parenting a baby during a pandemic has been, a perspective person said, “Well, and you got pregnant before the pandemic, you didn't sign up for any of this.”

I sighed with relief, like you do when someone really understands. Also, I think that applies to all of us a little bit. The things we were thinking about, planning, and even worrying about 2 years ago all changed on us in early 2020. And we didn't sign up for this! The stressors and conflicts we live now we wouldn't have been able to dream 2 years ago. And we didn't sign up for this.

2 years ago wasn't great. It really wasn't. There were serious injustices happening, and the things we were worried about were real. Comparatively though, I see why we want to go back. I can even see why the people grumbling in the desert would have wanted to go back. With death looming, anything else looks better. But Egypt wasn't their future, it was their past. And we aren't going back to pre-pandemic times either.

The wandering in the desert, as the story says, was important for forming the people, forming their faith, teaching them their dependence on God. It got them ready for the Promised Land, but it was so hard and so terrifying, there were a lot of times they thought going back was worth it. Without knowing what the Promised Land would be like, or when they would get there, the only things they knew were the terrifying lack of resources of the desert and the utter oppression of slavery.

For most of us, our pre-pandemic times weren't THAT bad, but I hear people saying now, “Having had a break from it all, I don't want to live like that anymore.” We're different. We've been formed by this time in the desert. We're still being formed by this time in the desert. I'm not sure when the Promised Land is coming.

As much as the desire to go back to Egypt caught my initial attention, I couldn't help but notice that it is only the beginning of this story. This isn't the story of landing in the Promised Land. This is a story of having God provide. This is a story of there being BREAD on the ground in the desert that would sustain the people AND quails flying overhead for protein, and both of them being gifts of life from the God of life. (In the desert, where other people didn't interfere with God's gifts.)

This is the story where God says, “'At twilight you shall eat meat, and in the morning you shall have your fill of bread; then you shall know that I am the LORD your God.'" And then when it happened, and the bread showed up, the people said, “What is it??????”

And this is where I think God is leading me today.

We're in the desert, dear ones. Whatever our roles and circumstances were in Egypt, it is far behind. Whatever our roles and circumstances will be in the Promised Land, we aren't there yet. We are DEEP in the desert, learning our dependence on God. And that means that God is giving us gifts that we desperately need to survive.

And most likely we're responding along the lines of “Huh?” or “What is THAT?” Or “I'm not sure I want that.” Maybe more than anything we're thinking, “I'd rather have bread from Pereccas, or Gershons, or Friehofers.” These gift that God is giving, we might not even recognize them. We might not want them. We might be a little horrified.

Today's story ends with Moses telling the confused and hungry people, “It is the bread that YHWH has given to you to eat.”

What is the bread that God is giving to you to eat right now? How are you feeling about it?

Holy One, help us see what you are giving us, and help us receive nourishment from what you offer. We are tired, weary, weak, and frightened people. Your nourishment is what we need to go on, and we know that this desert wandering is not your final plan for us. Amen

August 1, 2021

Rev. Sara E. Baron 

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 

Pronouns: she/her/hers 

http://fumcschenectady.org/ 

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

[coinofstone]

3x12 The Coming of Arthur pt 1

The title is such low hanging fruit I feel bad cracking a joke about it.

It's a quest episode! I love a quest episode. Srsly feel free to send me any and all Merthur quest fics. I can't get enough 😂

This is the episode responsible for the lovely Leon fanon headcanon that he's immortal. Always handy in an Arthur Returns fic.

Uther: you must go on this mission alone

Arthur: *brings Merlin*

I do love Merlin being being a smart alec and nagging Arthur while packing. Excellent banter.

Arthur said

Arthur threatening a young boy like this is such an ugly and uncharacteristic action it makes me angry.

Merlin tending to Arthur while he's sick and injured 🥺

Also I'm sorry but Merlin shows fuckin Gilli his magic but he's hiding it from fuckin Gwaine while Arthur is suffering? Silly.

Cenred's massive army makes me wonder if it's a result of his tolerance of magic or lower standards than the knights of Camelot, or some combination of both.

Poor Leon, though. He's just got back from near death in that forest and Uther sends him right fuckin back in 😂

Looks like they snuck in to Camelot via the dragon's cave. I doubt that was the intention but I still approve 😂

Knowing he's on a suicide mission, Arthur gives Merlin an out, knowing he'll never take it, knowing he doesn't even want him to: he still presents him with the choice.

How come literally everyone else gets a crown that fits them but Arthur walks around looking like he's wearing hand-me-downs?

Morgana might be evil but she looks damn good on a throne.

3x13 The Coming of Arthur pt 2

There's a post going around Twitter about ppl who nitpick at TV shows... this comment falls into exactly that category 100% but I'm sorry, I cannot just ignore the fact that Morgana's got these massive banners and an entire army's worth of uniforms, I mean look:

Every guard with the sigil on his uniform and half a dozen banners in the council chambers alone. That's to say nothing of the ones outside. I mean look at the sheer fuckin size of these things:

Look how tiny the ppl are next to em! They've gotta be at least 15 feet long, at least. Where did they come from? Were they all magicked into existence? Who designed that sigil? What does it represent? Is it Gorlois' banner? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

Leon isn't someone I've ever been particularly attracted to, personally, but his defiant shout of "Long Live the King" in the face of Morgana's threats, is sexy as hell.

Depressed Arthur is such a mood.

So. Gwen. Originally in 3x12 when Morgana essentially invited Gwen into the fold (insofar as a Queen's servant can be), it seems to be a set up, because Morgana has been treating Gwen like shit for ages, why would she suddenly want her friend back? Especially since Morgana knows something is going on between Gwen and Arthur - there's no way she believes that they were actually under the spell of some random sorcerer, that just doesn't make any sense. So you kind of assume - or at least I did - that Morgana is keeping Gwen close knowing that she'll be useful as bait or a hostage, just essentially as a person of value to Arthur. She's known Gwen for too long to actually believe she'd cross Arthur, there's just no way someone as machiavellian as Morgana doesn't see Gwen's 'loyalty' as a simple survival tactic. All of this is to say, when Morgana and Morgause eavesdrop on Gwen's conversation with Sir Leon, Morgana is just like, 'welp, she's betrayed me. Guess I'll kill her in the morning.' as though she was actually expecting Gwen to do anything else?!?! Like, why? It would've made so much more sense to just cut that line entirely and go straight to something like

Morgana: it's as we suspected, she's betrayed me

Morgause: yes, now she can lead us straight to Arthur

And it would've made so much more sense than the weird sort of purgatory they've implied where Morgana changed her mind about Gwen very suddenly the night before she took the throne. It's not a super important detail in the overarching story but it's another example of how carelessly their story has been handled.

Me rn:

I do love that they made Freya the Lady of the Lake, and that she kept her promise by telling Merlin how to defeat the army of the dead.

How Merlin really sees Kilgharrah:

Gwen really is the smartest of all of them.

I do love that Merlin's first undead kill with excalibur is entirely an accident lol

The subtext between Morgana and Morgause is really gross. I haven't said anything before because I generally don't approve of ship shaming but the not so subtle subtext gives me the heebies.

This is such a great shot

Everything about it, his woman at his left and his man at his right, his romantic rival opposite him on his wife's side, as directly opposite her as possible at a round table with an uneven number of placements. It's a really beautiful shot, fitting for an equally beautiful scene. It's a very moving scene, the music really adds the exact emotion you'd expect for this moment we all recognize... and I feel like the knights' oaths are very well matched. The snarky part of me wanted to make a 'call me maybe' joke about Percival, but he's so sincere I just can't do it. The moment of levity added by Merlin's banter with Arthur is really, really well paced. Honestly I think it's probably the next perfect, iconic scene since Gwen and Arthur's first kiss. Hats off to this crew.

(Don't worry dear reader, I'm sure I'll get back to complaining shortly)

Santiago is so dreamy. I'd share his bedroll any day.

I like that despite all the talk of equality and doing the thing Uther wouldn't approve of, Gwen still worries about the company seeing her and Arthur kiss. Like, he's planning an insurrection with a bunch of commoners and two dudes who've been officially banished from Camelot, but she's internalized the classism and the rules of royalty so deeply that even amongst friends she instinctively keeps their relationship hidden. I'm not sure how intentional that was but it's brilliant.

The fight big fight scene with Merlin just barely missing the cup while the knights are cornered, and Gaius showing up like the brilliant deus ex machina that he is, honestly makes the previous budget-slashed episodes more bearable. Because this really is great, even knowing it's great at the expense of those others.

Morgana's screeching is eerily similar to Aithusa's.

I wonder if they knew they were getting renewed for a fourth season when they wrote this. Because you know, it really could've worked as a series finale as well. An open-ended series finale, but a series finale all the same.

As a Queens kid, I cannot explain to you the joy it gives me to watch Arthur and Merlin just chillin on the steps to the castle as tho it were a stoop, which I suppose, in a sense... it kind of is. Ahhh youthful days.

Commentary is Jeremy Webb and Julian Murphy.

And this kids, is why we're watching with commentary! They've just explained that Morgana's sigil is supposed to symbolize the Rowan tree that's supposed to be at the heart of the Isle of the Blessed. That suggests she designed it herself, so there's at least one of my earlier questions answered.

They talk a lot about how Emila Fox was very pregnant when they were filming her in this season, and they shot entirely around it - and I can't help but feel anger toward Joss Whedon and his 'handling' of Charisma Carpenter's pregnancy during S4 of Angel.

One of them called the round table scene 'curiously moving' and I think that is really fitting. They'd had this in mind for about two years, which is probably why it's so extraordinary. That's a great gestation period for a scene as iconic as this.

One final tidbit: the sword in the stone was filmed in France, and made it back to Wales intact. I guess nobody wanted to take it out. That's kind of an interesting thought, like a little set superstition or something. It's kind of cute.

The DVD extras/special features will get a separate post if I feel I have comments worth sharing.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Just about Janis: Won't tell anyone you didn't hit me up with the coveted Morning text, like Jimmy: No need when I'm there to do it in person Jimmy: Just use your imagination when you tell 'em how I woke you up Janis: 😏 Why bother when they so ready to do it themselves, like Janis: #yourinfluence obvs Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Yours is that the 🐶 won't shut up 'bout you #real love 💕 Janis: Dog, yeah? Janis: Not heard that one before Jimmy: Alright, you rumbled me, my sister too Jimmy: But what the dog's saying is nicer Janis: 😂 Janis: I did forget to invite her along, to be fair Janis: Forgetfulness gotta be catching 'cos Mia totally wanted to idk Janis: wax my bikini line or something, apparently Jimmy: I know this is fake but your dirty talk needs some work, mate Jimmy: Good to know that shit does happen at sleepovers though Janis: Grow up dickhead 🙄 Janis: probably try recreate game of thrones and pour it on my head, no thanks Janis: can't make that sexy, no matter how many dragons I add to the story, soz Jimmy: Niche reference 👍 Jimmy: I rolled up to say tah for not being a dickhead anyway Jimmy: It all went to plan Janis: You're definitely that kinda nerd, don't lie Janis: Duh Janis: 🥇 Janis: I told you Jimmy: Piss off am I Jimmy: You can't pretend that you don't know how cool I am now, Joan Janis: What, 'cos you took me to the pub I suggested Janis: Okay 😏 Jimmy: 'cause I didn't make a holy show of myself as you Irish call it Jimmy: at the pub you suggested Janis: You were alright Janis: Not too unbearable, like Jimmy: I love you too, baby 😘 Janis: 🖕 Idiot Jimmy: What you doing tonight? Jimmy: We should be seen together so people don't reckon I got what I wanted and that's it Janis: Or you were that shit I've had to ghost you Jimmy: Nobody's thinking that Janis: Alright ego 😜 Janis: but I'm up for doing something, long as it's not totally shit Jimmy: Is there like a party or something going on? Jimmy: More people the better, I reckon Janis: Undoubtedly Janis: I'll ask my cousin, not everyone he knows is a total prick Janis: up for the challenge, yeah? 💪 Jimmy: Like you said 🥇 Janis: 👍 I've hit him up, let you know the where and when Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm on a half day so don't matter Jimmy: Time to make myself look #goals Janis: Sick Janis: weren't too dead were ya? Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You? Janis: Good Janis: 'Course not Janis: Lazy rich bitch anyway so you know Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: tah for saying it so I don't 'ave to Janis: Please, you're so gutted Jimmy: Maybe Jimmy: You'll just have to cheer me up tonight Janis: Yeah? Janis: Easy Jimmy: Easy for you to say now, yeah Jimmy: We haven't faked it for that long before Janis: Have a little faith Janis: 'less you're planning to make it hard for me or Jimmy: It'd be more fun but we've got a deal Jimmy: So don't fuck it up & I won't Janis: Fine 🙄 Jimmy: Saving your enthusiasm? 👍 Janis: Yeah Janis: basically got 16 years worth saved up, hope you're ready Jimmy: Challenge accepted, Jillian Janis: That's the worse one yet Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I won't use it when anyone can hear me, don't worry Jimmy: What's your name again though? Janis: You testing me Janis: watch me turn up looking like a bag of shit now Janis: enjoy, wanker Jimmy: Watch me 😍😍😍 even harder for it Jimmy: You're not gonna beat me, babe Janis: So am Jimmy: Like I said, easy to say now Jimmy: Harder to do when I'm chaining 🚬 to put you off Janis: 😒 I've handled worse Jimmy: I don't need your exes list, Judy Janis: Short list Janis: . Janis: like Jimmy: What? Jimmy: You only fake date Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fuck off Janis: I don't date Janis: waste of time Jimmy: Can be Janis: Is Jimmy: Pete'll be gutted Jimmy: Still, if you're as good in bed for real as you are when it's fake, decent consolation Janis: I'm sure Janis: aside from he probably fancies you more than he does me Jimmy: Me too, he's been name dropping you all shift 💕 Jimmy: Wrong again, Jennifer Janis: Lies Jimmy: I didn't know who he meant for half of it Jimmy: but yeah Janis: Brilliant Janis: Good thing he's not our target demo then isn't it Jimmy: No offense, Janis Jimmy: ain't my fault he don't know you Janis: Why would he Janis: He's like year above ain't he, idk Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: Not the one crushing on him Janis: You do keep bringing him up Janis: if you needed a beard, like Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: What do you wanna talk about then? Janis: [Party deets] Janis: There you go, can plan your outfit now Jimmy: What time do you wanna show up? Janis: Later the better, init Janis: make a scene but also, don't have to spend too much time surrounded by idiots Jimmy: You just know you can't hack faking being my girlfriend for too long Jimmy: but 👌 Janis: Bitch I can go all night Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You'd be stretched to do an hour Janis: Bollocks Janis: When do YOU wanna go then? Jimmy: I'd go right now if they'd have me Jimmy: Better than being stuck at the CG Janis: N'awh, you really know how to make a girl feel special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I'll do it tonight Jimmy: Do your best to wait patiently, Jodie Janis: 🖕 Do yours to keep up Janis: can't be too late if you gotta leave 9 though, are you sure Janis: lowkey might not even start before then Jimmy: I've sorted it with Cass Jimmy: I can be out as late as we need to get this done Janis: Didn't know it was her calling the curfew not your Da Janis: but makes sense, tbh Janis: cool then Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: He don't call any shots Jimmy: But someone's gotta look after my brother & he don't worry 'bout that either Janis: I wasn't trying to be funny about it Jimmy: Decent effort then 'cause you weren't Janis: Alright Janis: sorry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: meet there? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Let me know when Janis: k Jimmy: [Later] Jimmy: They want me to work over Jimmy: when are we going? Janis: Oh, don't worry then if it's gonna be too much hassle Jimmy: It's only a couple more hours Janis: When are you getting off now? Jimmy: 4.30 Jimmy: but I got some shit to do when I leave here Jimmy: part of Cass' bargain Janis: 👍 good girl Janis: anything i can help with or you alright Jimmy: you can get the dog out Jimmy: know you'd both love that 💕 Janis: Sure thing Janis: use the extra steps myself anyway Jimmy: Come and get my keys whenever Janis: Are the kids gonna be about Janis: they could come with, if they would Jimmy: you can ask 'em if you're feeling brave Janis: Just an idea Janis: might run off some energy lowkey exhaust the dog and them, like Jimmy: I reckon it's a good one Jimmy: They might not Janis: I'll try Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: If they're dickheads, text me Janis: Don't worry, I've got millions of cousins and shit, I know how to not get 'em killed or I wouldn't offer Jimmy: Weren't worried 'bout 'em Jimmy: Just you Janis: Oi Janis: I'm no soft-touch Jimmy: Only got your word for that, mate Janis: 😑 Janis: Proof'll be how well-trained this dog is Jimmy: You ain't got long enough for that Jimmy: I'm not fake dating you for years tah Janis: Christ no Janis: crash course, I'm that good Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: as long as you're more convincing tonight Janis: Name a time I haven't been Janis: everyone's buying it so hard Jimmy: I told you, that was lowest tier shit Jimmy: You have to pretend to like me for longer than a make out sesh Janis: I keep telling you I can, damn Janis: Can't prove it 'til we're there, can I? Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: take some pics on your walk, really milk how domestic we are Janis: Done Janis: she's very photogenic Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you can date her for real when this is over Janis: You're giving me her in the fake breakup, yeah? Janis: Cheers Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: means you gotta give me something Jimmy: get thinking Janis: can I interest you in Grace? Janis: know what you're thinking, literally defeats the point Janis: but she just looking for a new fam Janis: bitch for a bitch Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: One sister's enough Janis: Shit Janis: I got 3 Janis: worst luck Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: violin solo for each Janis: Grace is more like a fucking triangle solo Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: I don't reckon there's an emoji for that though 💔 Janis: 🃏 Janis: really lacking on the emoji front Janis: gutted, gonna complain Jimmy: get it done, Joanne Janis: talk to twitter whilst i'm there Janis: your account not dead now? Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I ain't checked Janis: Bummer Janis: no new nudes for me 💔 Jimmy: I'll streak through the party Jimmy: make an entrance Janis: 😂 Janis: Twat Janis: There's no pretending to be 😍 over public indecency Jimmy: try harder then, dickhead Jimmy: thought you were 🥇 Janis: I don't want everyone to reckon I'm actually derranged, like Janis: be normal, Taylor Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you know, one of us has to Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon you won't be overcome with lust at the sight of me actually naked Jimmy: head in the game, girl Janis: 'Course Janis: who wouldn't be Janis: turning it into a casual orgy Jimmy: Mia maybe Jimmy: You're more her type Janis: Ugh don't Janis: idk what her problem really is Janis: 'cept she wants to wear my skin Jimmy: she's jealous Janis: Nah Janis: she's an only child and her daddy gives her everything so she's rolling in it Jimmy: but 'til he gives her money for surgery you're prettier than her Jimmy: & now you've got me so 🗡 Janis: Don't fuck her, yeah? Janis: It must be how she gets her power 'cos she's got no interest in actually being with you, she just has a list of like every boy in Dublin or some shit she's working through Jimmy: even if she has surgery, I have standards, I told you Janis: Good Janis: even if you're a bit of a prick, hate to see you go like that Janis: 🐍 eat you when she's done Jimmy: I'd rather my 🍆 stays attached to me Jimmy: more use than my head Janis: What's more #bae Janis: agree or disagree? 🤔 Jimmy: take it to a twitter poll Janis: I think they've got a bias rn though, after that pic Janis: say something dead brainy, babe Jimmy: too northern for that Jimmy: do it for me & say I did Janis: It's weird when you're #humble Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: gonna fuck with you when you find out that's the real me Janis: Coulda kept that in the vault, I'd never know Jimmy: Like I said, you'd find out Janis: You not planning on deleting me when this is all over then? Jimmy: Probably but there's still this thing called IRL Jimmy: Can't bin school off yet Janis: Oh, where I'm at my most social, 'course Janis: you barely knew I existed 'til now I think we'll be fine 😏 Jimmy: Don't be gutted Jimmy: I know your name now & everything Janis: Yeah was so sat there praying for the day Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what are you actually gonna wear Janis: not saying we should be THAT fake couple and co-ord but Jimmy: hadn't given it any real thought Jimmy: what's the party dress code in leprechaun land? Janis: depends who you are and who they are Janis: don't wanna be try hard Janis: probably can't show up in my gym clothes, though Jimmy: who am I & who are they, babe? Janis: you know who you are Janis: leather jackets ain't just for your baes, obviously Janis: idk who this kid is exactly but he lives in a normal neighbourhood so he's not like dead posh or anything Jimmy: there's your answer then Jimmy: easy 😍 Jimmy: only challenge is me finding the place Janis: I better hang about then after I've walked the dog Janis: probably more #goals to go together anyway Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: smoothie? Jimmy: You should eat so you don't get dead drunk again Janis: 'Scuse me Janis: I was not Jimmy: You were Jimmy: & don't bring a jacket so you can wear mine that's gotta be #goals Janis: Just mad it went unnoticed that I was in the dog walking 'gram Janis: too 💕 for them all, baby Jimmy: just don't get as pissed tonight Jimmy: you might let everyone know how you really feel Janis: You ain't my Dad Jimmy: Nah, I'm your fake boyfriend & I'd like it if you didn't out us Jimmy: that's it Janis: I'm not going to because I wasn't even drunk and I won't be tonight Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you're gonna chat shit, I've got work to do Janis: I don't wanna chat to you anyway if you're gonna be shady Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Shady? Am I also slim 😂 Jimmy: top lingo, Janet Janis: 😒 you are that white Jimmy: take it up with my dad Janis: When can we have our first fake fight 'cos you're asking for it today, like Jimmy: a bit soon unless you wanna do a really hot makeup makeout Janis: Who'd want that? Janis: Shame Jimmy: the fans Janis: True Janis: but you said I've gotta show I can stand you when you ain't rocking my world so Jimmy: & you've gotta show you want me too more than just a once off Janis: Don't want much, do ya? Jimmy: It ain't about what I want Janis: You know what I mean Jimmy: I know you keep saying you'll do this easy Jimmy: So stop whinging Janis: I ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you liked whelan's then, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll probably go back Janis: good Janis: i knew you would, it's alright Jimmy: seeing as you know me so well you can find me a real girl to date when this is over Janis: ha Janis: jog on Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: it'd be a laugh to see who you'd pick if nowt else Janis: not a dyke, remember? Jimmy: didn't say you had to join in with us, did I? Janis: shut up Janis: what do i know about girls Janis: not a real one, am i Jimmy: what do you reckon you are then? My dream Jimmy: Piss off Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: you're real Janis: You said it, not me Jimmy: What? Janis: 'you can find me a real girl to date' Jimmy: I meant a girl to not fake date Janis: whatever Jimmy: come on, Janis Janis: don't matter Janis: forget it Jimmy: don't wanna Janis: don't be a dick Janis: if you didn't mean it you didn't Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: So don't you be a dickhead Janis: What the fuck have I done? Jimmy: acting shady Jimmy: to use your top lingo Janis: 😑 you clearly don't know what that means Jimmy: nah I don't Jimmy: it's bollocks Jimmy: reckon you made it up just then Janis: not that deep undercover than we need our own language Jimmy: good 'cause I ain't sure I'd keep up Jimmy: proper cryptic you Irish Janis: 🖕 Janis: how's that for cryptic? Janis: gobshite Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'm not finding you a girlfriend Janis: Ruin your own life Jimmy: Alright, leave me to my own devices so I can find another girl who prefers old blokes Jimmy: on your head Janis: If it keeps you from becoming a baby daddy, aren't I doing you/the world a massive service, really, like Jimmy: if that keeps you warm, mate, tell yourself it Jimmy: I'll be shivering 'cause left out in the cold 🎻 Janis: Catch me and Pete laughing at you whilst we fuck on a huge pile of money in our mcmansion Janis: #thedream Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I've seen him concentrating when he makes a latte I don't need to think about his face when he's going at it Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: get in his inbox to live that dream Janis: Can't be having my fake mans and real in the same place Janis: mixing business and pleasure always a no Jimmy: he won't say owt Jimmy: tell him you're down to cheat Janis: thanks for your permission 😂 Jimmy: don't care, do I? Jimmy: just keep it off the 'gram Janis: You might have endless faith in him but I don't Janis: everyone knows everyone's business around here 🙄 Jimmy: if you cheat I ain't lost owt Jimmy: go on Jimmy: save me a break up Janis: I don't think so Janis: I get to come out of this looking good, that was part of the deal Jimmy: We can change it easy Jimmy: & anyway who says pete ain't a trade up Janis: Nah Janis: Deal's a deal, I'm sticking to my side of it Jimmy: You've done it Jimmy: been proven those girls ain't my type Janis: If that was true we wouldn't be going tonight Janis: we ain't done here Jimmy: we ain't done for you Jimmy: but if you reckon you've got a better offer, take it Janis: Don't use this as an excuse Janis: you know I don't Jimmy: an excuse for what? Janis: For not wanting to help me out now we've sorted your side of it out Jimmy: I've said I'll do it Jimmy: like I said, not about what I want Janis: I know you don't want it alright Janis: it doesn't have to be much longer Jimmy: just don't fuck Pete Jimmy: I still have to work with him Jimmy: & I don't want the pisstake Janis: I'm not going to Janis: I've literally not spoken to him before Jimmy: then don't speak to him Janis: Um bit far, am I only allowed to order smoothies from you? Jimmy: CG isn't the only shit coffee shop around Jimmy: why come in after this? Janis: so I'm banned now, jesus Janis: fine Janis: I don't even drink coffee Jimmy: I can't ban you Jimmy: not the manager Janis: but you would if you could? Janis: well that's lovely Jimmy: so you would come in for coffee & a chat after I've fake dumped you? 👌 Janis: You're actually such a prick Janis: 1. I'M dumping YOU Janis: 2. You were actually serious that you're gonna delete me? Avoid me forever too? Very mature Jimmy: I'm gonna delete everyone Jimmy: not just you Jimmy: why do you care? like you said, didn't know each other existed before Janis: You're gonna have no friends, whole time you're here then Jimmy: hopefully Jimmy: what you're offering now, are you? Janis: no one good enough for you, yeah? Janis: not now I know Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you were the one warning me not to turn into 'em like a day ago Jimmy: didn't realise the real you was a cheerleader of leprechaun town Janis: Piss off Jimmy: that's the plan Jimmy: wear the uniform tonight though, the fans will love it Janis: It's going to take you ages you may as well try and tolerate it whilst you're here Jimmy: You don't have to outdo my dad on the fatherly advice Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: Exactly, you're not gonna leave your brother and sister here Janis: so it's years, not months Jimmy: that's assuming any of us are gonna stay here Jimmy: he keeps jobs slightly longer than girlfriends but don't go mad, like Janis: Yeah great, hinge your masterplan on his lack of Janis: I hope it all works out for you, really Jimmy: I don't need a masterplan this is my real life not a fake dating plot Janis: Fuck you Janis: Act like it then, you live here right now, get over it Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You've lived here longer Jimmy: where's your friends? Janis: What's it matter 'bout me? Jimmy: you're dishing it out like I gotta be living my best life Jimmy: sort yours Janis: Again, this isn't about me Janis: you're not me Jimmy: & you ain't me, sweetheart Jimmy: you don't know what I want so don't tell me Janis: Don't fucking talk to me like that Jimmy: likewise Janis: Fine, be miserable Janis: like you said, why do I care Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Fuck me knowing what you want, I hope you work it out Jimmy: I have Janis: Good for you Jimmy: dead patronising you Jimmy: Love that Janis: I'm not the one throwing out sweethearts like it's the 70s Jimmy: Nah, you're just the one judging me when all you know is my name basically Jimmy: starting to see your sister's POV now Jimmy: bit of a nightmare, aren't you? Janis: Go fuck her then Jimmy: I don't want to Jimmy: but tah for the permission Janis: Literally drop dead Janis: I never once judged you and it's fucking rich you taking issue when all you do is judge everyone here all the time Jimmy: just 'cause you're a girl don't mean you can talk me like that & then tell me how to talk to you Janis: like what Janis: you talk to me like a piece of shit Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: Great Janis: Bye Jimmy: not bye, see you in a bit Jimmy: unless you're bailing Janis: you reckon i'm in the party mood Janis: really Jimmy: not what I asked Jimmy: don't matter how you really feel, does it? Janis: you're a sociopath, awesome Jimmy: no idea Jimmy: but alright fuck the party, don't bother me Janis: nah, 'course, nothing does Jimmy: nowt that's any of your business Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll still walk the dog it isn't her fault Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you'll still need the keys Jimmy: won't throw 'em at you not very #goals Janis: I don't care anymore Janis: who am I impressing, like you said Jimmy: when? Janis: You know Janis: I've got no friends, I'm a nightmare Janis: 🎻 Janis: the list goes on Jimmy: that's not what they're seeing Jimmy: just me 🎻 Jimmy: you've impressed everyone else Janis: Please Janis: you're so smart now Jimmy: It don't take much Janis: Exactly Janis: Jig is probably up Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: you know it's working Janis: Yeah not now I hate you Jimmy: you didn't love me before Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: call it off Janis: I'm not coming out of this like this Janis: you don't have to see me Janis: I'll make it work myself Jimmy: 👌 Janis: just tell me how you wanna sound Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: do it how you want Janis: is it wise to give me such free reign Janis: nightmare i am Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: don't matter Janis: You reckon I shouldn't care? Jimmy: I'm saying I don't Janis: No one's judging you anyway Jimmy: feel free to change that Janis: I'm not that much of a bitch Janis: thanks Jimmy: not on the 'gram anyway Janis: Fuck you Janis: I was being nice Jimmy: 'til I told you not to fuck Pete Jimmy: If I knew that was the dealbreaker I wouldn't have said nowt Janis: No, 'til you asked me to find you a girlfriend, called me not a girl Janis: then fucking agreed with my sister Jimmy: I told you, I never said you weren't a girl Jimmy: & I weren't serious about the girlfriend thing Janis: Whatever Janis: I don't even know if that's his name so it isn't about that Jimmy: alright Janis: It ain't alright Janis: I wasn't serious either you didn't have to take it like that and make it into this thing Jimmy: I seriously don't want you to fuck my co-workers Jimmy: that's all I said Janis: I'm not going to! Janis: I don't even want to Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't matter now Janis: Why not Jimmy: 'cause this is finished Jimmy: we don't need to keep chatting 'bout it Janis: Why is it a problem if I'm not gonna do it Jimmy: it ain't Janis: Then stop being a dick Jimmy: You stop being a dick Janis: dickhead Jimmy: You're the dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: stop Jimmy: just break it off Jimmy: I've got work to do Janis: Come on Janis: you're really dedicated now you don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: if we aren't going to the party what is there to chat about? Janis: well we could Janis: but fine Jimmy: you don't wanna either Jimmy: you hate me now, remember? Janis: Well you never liked me apparently so can't be offended Jimmy: yeah I can Janis: It's not fair, that's bullshit Jimmy: you hating me is not the same as me not knowing you Janis: maybe i'm being slightly dramatic Jimmy: go for it Jimmy: like I said, don't matter Janis: No Janis: Shut up being annoying Janis: let's go to the party Jimmy: I don't reckon that's a good idea Janis: Why not Jimmy: not in the running for an oscar, are we? Janis: alright Janis: i'll go by myself i guess Jimmy: that's a worse idea Jimmy: get it together, Jasmine Janis: Why? Jimmy: You're a pisshead & you need me Janis: 😑 Janis: well then you have to come Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: when? Janis: Whenever you've done what you've gotta do at Home Janis: I'm already on the bus to get the keys Jimmy: I just have to get the bribes in Jimmy: come with Jimmy: we can get drinks for the party or whatever Janis: I get it, all the sugar Janis: alright Janis: just don't try to palm me off with alcopops Jimmy: piss off would I Jimmy: I don't hate you Janis: tah 😏 you do reckon I can't handle my drink though Janis: which is just untrue Jimmy: you couldn't Jimmy: that's all I've got to go off Jimmy: prove me wrong tonight if you're that mad 'bout it Janis: What did I do? Janis: because I have evidence of YOU licking MY face, thanks snapchat Jimmy: FOR snapchat Jimmy: you were being nice to me when the camera weren't on Janis: How dare I 🙄 Janis: make it sound like I was tryna jump you Jimmy: nowt like that Jimmy: you were just Jimmy: fuck knows, mate Janis: ominous Janis: maybe i won't drink Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: challenge turned down? 👌 Janis: 😠 No Janis: you got me paranoid now though Jimmy: not trying to get in your head so I'll win or owt Jimmy: nah Janis: 😒 Jimmy: for real though that weren't how I wanted that to sound Jimmy: it was fun Jimmy: you weren't a total dickhead like usual, that's it Janis: so what you're really saying is Janis: I should make a habit of it? Janis: cool Janis: I thought you meant I was white girl wasted then I'd have to kms, obviously Jimmy: I'm saying if I were gonna hate you, I couldn't then 'cause you were alright Jimmy: calm down Janis: Awh babe Jimmy: what the fuck is white girl wasted? Janis: If Gracie or any of her mates are at this party, hopefully not, you'll get to see Janis: the girls who are screaming 'this is my song!' to every other shit song Janis: and lose their shoes and shit and end up sobbing hysterically on a poor bouncer or something Jimmy: that don't exist up north, lasses drink like lads Jimmy: I'll have to take you Jimmy: learn something, Jemima Janis: you can't say the north has a better drinking  culture than ireland Janis: that's literally all we're known for excuse you Jimmy: I reckon I just did Jimmy: am I gonna get cursed now? Janis: Think you're gonna get deported so you'll be buzzin' on that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: they aren't gonna be at the party are they? Janis: Nah, would've seen all the annoying getting ready and pre-drinks stories by now Jimmy: thank feck as you 🍀 say Jimmy: fun as it'd be to get that angry vein going in Mia's head again Janis: Please never say that again but do 'cos I wanna hear wtf it'd sound like in your accent 😂 Janis: she's DYING for round two Jimmy: I'll whisper it in your ear later if you pretend I'm saying something #goals Janis: Deal Jimmy: Just don't piss yourself laughing I don't need everyone reckoning my chat is that bad Janis: 🎭 Janis: I'll be so into it it'll be awkward for everyone else Janis: 💪 Jimmy: yeah alright Jane fonda just try & look like you're dying for round two 😍💕 Jimmy: maybe there'll be a room we can fake fuck in Janis: What are house parties for Janis: besides easier underage drinking, obviously Jimmy: as long as Mia ain't there to listen at the door Janis: I refuse to fake an orgasm for her the cunt you'd have to actually just fuck me Jimmy: I'll just take you home if she shows up Jimmy: pretend like I'm anti-fucking in strangers houses Jimmy: like its a northern thing or summat Janis: 😂 Polite, very anti-you Janis: but it works Jimmy: there's only so much convincing fakery I could let you do before it'd just sound hot Jimmy: not part of the deal for me to be into it Janis: Yeah Janis: Only human Jimmy: 🐍 quota in these parts is full Janis: Truly Janis: Don't tell Paddy, he'll be fuming Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: better get more smokes if you're sharing Jimmy: remind me Janis: Should get my own, least pay you half Jimmy: call it my being a dickhead tax Jimmy: besides, people were into it Jimmy: new #goals Janis: You make it look good Janis: no one needs to know you get out of breath on a dog walk Jimmy: you give then you take away Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: next time tweet the first bit & leave off the second Janis: I already did that story, no caption necessary Janis: can't have you thinking I'm too nice again and going weird on me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: Are we meant to do getting ready snaps or are you not white enough? Janis: God no Janis: 'less we're being all extra about how much we don't wanna leave bed, like Jimmy: we could Jimmy: I zip up your...dress? but you take off my shirt Jimmy: make it sexy Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😂 Janis: this is just going to get confusing Janis: end up leaving half undressed but not in the intentional way Jimmy: no then? Janis: nah, we can Janis: means having to take less there so we can lowkey have a decent time still Jimmy: almost like you now Jimmy: 'cause that's a top plan Janis: Gimme time Janis: not a fan of almosts like go all in and hate me or you know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: what are you wearing not heavy breathing way? Jimmy: in a* Janis: Thanks for clarifying Janis: I put a few options in my bag, I'd ask a girl but you know Janis: You'll have to do Jimmy: I am out of breath but 🚬 not burning desire Jimmy: piss off I'm better Jimmy: I'll tell you what looks hot Jimmy: 😍 not bitchy side eye Janis: #truelove Janis: #lastsalifetime #inyourlungs Janis: Good, can always get that from your sister if I'm missing it Jimmy: You're getting too decent at #s gonna have to dump you 💔 Janis: #damn Jimmy: Stop Janis: #gonnamissmewhenimgone Jimmy: #Janis please Jimmy: if you make me laugh I could keel over 🚬 remember Janis: When bae calls you a health risk 😍 Jimmy: #goals right Jimmy: love you so much its gonna kill me Janis: mhmm Janis: i told ya, just got the organ wrong Janis: no 💔 going for the lungs Jimmy: just leave my 🍆 out of it & like my head I ain't too concerned Jimmy: least I got a pair of lungs Janis: are you saying i have 🍆 envy Janis: cos that's even older than the dyke line tbh i expect better from you Jimmy: let me know when I streak through the party Janis: 😂 Janis: Will do Jimmy: don't say nowt if you don't 'cause 💔 Jimmy: it ain't my party to cry at Janis: Poor boy Janis: Just tryna seem nonchalant 'cos already meant to have seen it, duh Jimmy: try & seem 😍 like you can't get enough of it though Jimmy: tah very much Janis: Okay you want drooling Janis: got it Jimmy: if you can Janis: Don't doubt me, just your ability to bring it Janis: kinda cold Jimmy: where I'm from this is summer temps Jimmy: don't worry 'bout me, girl Janis: Then we won't have a problem Jimmy: nah Jimmy: & if anyone asks, I'm thinking 'bout you #muse Janis: I think they'll have more pressing questions Janis: like, what the fuck? Jimmy: that's how it is in 🍀 Jimmy: boring feckers Janis: 😂 Janis: maybe after you've been there and had a few Jimmy: I won't find them boring? Jimmy: or I will Janis: saying you taking your kit off would be craic and not a sign of something wrong Janis: they'll still be pretty dry Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: can I leave here yet? it's rivaling in the boredom stakes Jimmy: come back Mia, some mildly annoying shit you've done is forgiven Jimmy: nowt else Janis: Shh Janis: come meet me off bus Janis: #romance Jimmy: alright Jimmy: you sold it to me Janis: 💕 Soft Jimmy: give me the kiss of life if I look like I'm going Jimmy: 'cause you know I'll 🚬 & walk Janis: 😏 Janis: Giving the OAPs on here a show Jimmy: love our new audience 💕 Janis: always a bitchy one though, i 👀 you grandmia Jimmy: probably is her nan Jimmy: does she have a face like 🍋 Janis: Chewing wasps forreal Janis: though I think Mia just rose up from the pits of hell by herself so Jimmy: get her number for my ex Janis: 😂 Janis: so thoughtful Jimmy: her status updates have been harrowing mate Jimmy: reckon Barry's playing away 💔🎻 Janis: Oh no Janis: typical Barry move Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: near end of life crisis Janis: Stop making me laugh I'm getting looks Jimmy: payback for before when you near ended my life Jimmy: could be worse least I'm not turning you on with the mention of him Janis: War flashbacks, like Jimmy: you got it, JoJo Janis: 💔 Janis: I don't get it but you do you Janis: true love and all that, I guess Jimmy: You don't get wanting to fuck an old bloke? Jimmy: Me either Janis: 😏 OMG we get it, you're straight Janis: it's me they got the questions about, not you Jimmy: so far Jimmy: but Pete is gonna need consoling for his 💔 Janis: 🙄 don't drag me into this Janis: find yourself a girl and him a mans Jimmy: so nah to the threesome? 👌 I'll let him know Janis: You don't wanna see his cum face Jimmy: I'll look at the back of his head Janis: Alright, glad you've worked out the logistics Janis: be rude to make him stay under the pillow Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in or out? Janis: whey Janis: long as it don't count 'cos threeways don't Jimmy: 'course Janis: 👍 Jimmy: #romance Janis: you know it Janis: real test faking it to that level, no matter how thick he is Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: we've got this baby 💕 Janis: Poor Pete Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you see me yet? Janis: Hold on, lemme try and remember what you look like Jimmy: You ain't that good at faking it, Justine Jimmy: #unforgettable Janis: You'll be huffy when you find me chatting to the wrong white boy Jimmy: Nah I'll just smack him Jimmy: #goals like Janis: 😏 Janis: There you are Jimmy: 😘