#i mean I know how it's going to play out. but you dont lmfao

[blackknight-kai]

I made it my life mission to send as many asks to you as humanly possible. so...

Tail. Monke's tail right? We talked about this already.. it's cute, nimble, sensitive

So how about our Monke, being the annoying trickster that he is, just playing with us with his tail. and i don't mean like a sex thing

I mean this little menace poking us with it and tickling and generaly being annoying. he also likes to tap our cheeks with it and reader is so used to it by that point that she just mock snaps her teeth and pretends to try and bite his tail. but. BUT one time she's actually fast enough to catch his tail in her teeth and instead of biting down (she would never hurt him) she just keeps it in her mouth and lick it and... you know... she has oral fixation

LMFAO yeah our monkey DO/Wukong is a little shit with that damn thing. He absolutely is a menace. Always using it to tickle or poke you. Might tease you randomly or make you think something is crawling on you with how lightly he touches you with it. Definitely swipes your face with it or tickles your nose. All around obnoxious with it and always says shit like ‘it has a mind of its own’ as he tries to get away with things.

He thinks he so damn cheeky and too quick for you to either catch it stop him from being an annoyance - he likes you so of COURSE he has to mess with you. Your hands are never fast enough and when you snap your teeth at him it just makes him laugh harder and boop you in the face again. Uncaring about your nonexistent threat.

One day you’re sitting and he’s walked by you about 3 times, each one he gently smacks you across the face with the soft appendage and you’re prepared and waiting for the fourth inevitable time he does it. When he does you strike and let out a triumphant noise around his tail as the furry thing stills in your mouth, having caught it between your teeth gently.

You look up at him with amusement and see that he has completely stilled, looking down at you in shock. Absolutely not expecting that you would have caught his tail.

It twitches in your mouth and you put a gentle pressure on it, not enough to hurt him in anyway and he can definitely remove it if he wants. But as you lock eyes a sly grin and idea pops up into your head.

Using your tongue, you lick at the fur in your mouth and gleefully watch as his fur just about stands on end and his eyes widen at the action. His mouth hangs open and a tiny little flush blooms on his cheeks where the fur is thinned out to reveal skin. You lick it again, curling your tongue around what you can in your mouth and a full body shudder goes through him before he reaches out and grips your chin firmly but gently.

You dont let go, instead you smirk around the appendage in your mouth continue to stroke his fur with your tongue. The look in his eye, while shocked still starts to darken and his breaths come a little quicker.

Later, after you’re panting lying on your back after an earth shattering orgasm, you learn that his tail is extremely sensitive. And that what you had done essentially was similar to licking and sucking on his finger, just to a higher degree, sending signals to his brain and waking his cock up. The act of licking his fur too was something VERY intimate, reserved for mate behavior in his kind. You’d essentially propositioned and drove his instincts into ‘mate’ and ‘breed’ mode.

Huh….well…

Curiously you reach out and grab his lax tail, his body stiffens as you stroke it for a moment before bringing the tip to your mouth, keeping your eyes locked on his.

The rumble that leaves his chest as you wraps your lips around the end of it alerts you that yeah, it’s gonna be a long night.

[taehyunismm]

ATEEZ'S FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT YOU ! (HYUNG LINE)

A/N: lol this is my first work after being on a longggggggg writing hiatus! (like two years) I honestly hope this doesn't flop but at the same time..you never know what’ll happen LMFAO just sit back and enjoy

cw: kys/kms jokes, cursing, some nsfw content (only for yunho and yeosang)

✰ HONGJOONG !

oh he loves how soft your hands are all the time

he will literally take your hands and rub your hands all over his face forcefully because he loves how they smell and how smooth they are.

"what are you doing..?" you say as he grabs your phone out your hand and starts rubbing his head all over your hands.

"im so sorry i just love the scent of your hands." he says giving the palm of your hands small lazy kisses.

"umm..okay you do your thing joongie!" you say as you play with his hair.

oh and do not get me started on his love for your hair.

he literally loves how soft your hair feels and how good it smells

he'll ask to put your hair in braids as an excuse to get close to your hair and smell it.

"okay what is up with you?" you can feel a big head coming in behind you.

"oh..im sorry my girlfriends hair just smells amazing!" he says twirling the ends of your hair.

"youre so weird but i love you."

oh he is OBSESSED with the way your body curves.

whenever you wear any kind of dress that fits your curves perfectly and really makes them noticeable he will go fucking INSANE.

he'll start stuttering throughout his sentences while your just staring at him confused on why hes so nervous with you in that outfit.

"i-i wow..?" hongjoong wipes his drool from his bottom lip turning back to reality.

"gosh do i look bad or something? pfft..im going to change youre making me annoyed." you say running your fingers through your hair and walking back to your closet.

"NO! i mean..no. you look..great! im just getting..flustered." he can feel his cheeks heating up after every word that comes out his mouth."

girl what the fuck

okay maybe hes right..you do look great and out of this world.

"okay..? anyways..lets just go, we're taking my car." you say throwing the keys to hongjoong as he catches them and follows behind you.

✰ SEONGHWA !

oh this man loves your eyes

he always finds some excuse to justify why hes staring at you

always asking to put your contacts in so he can admire how pretty your eyes are.

"pleaseee can i put them in?" he begs literally getting on his knees infront of the bathroom.

"i said no. im putting on my glasses today." you say while cleaning your lenses.

"but babyyy!" he says giving you a tight back hug and resting his chin on your shoulder while pouting.

"you are the biggest crybaby ive ever met."

he loves how competitive you are when it comes to games because its funny to watch when you rage quit

when you two were playing roblox obbys together you got mad that you accidently broke your laptop screen because you slammed it too hard.

"im going to literally fucking kill myself if you get to the end before me seonghwa." you say spamming your space button as many times as you can to avoid the red laser. you take a look at seonghwas screen since he was awfully quiet and you saw that he was already flying over the whole map with his stupid fucking rainbow trail.

"YOU FUCKER!" you say exiting out the game and slamming your screen down..and that does not end up well. you open your screen back up and your whole screen is shattered.

you start to tear up as you can hear seonghwas devilish laugh in the background.

"im calling apple care im not doing this right now.." you say taking out your phone and dialing their number for apple care waiting for them to pick up.

✰ YUNHO !

he is horribly obsessed with your face

like literally everything about your face weirdly turns him on

"please dont look at me like that i think im about to bust a nut in my pants." he says putting a pillow over on his lap.

"eww youre gross!" you say jokingly pushing him.

he wraps you in his arms and brings you on top of him cuddling you to death.

"could i get a kiss my pretty girl?" he says pouting and looking into your eyes with puppy eyes. you roll your eyes and scoff at the sudden question.

"fine." you say connecting your lips to yunhos while running your fingers through his soft hair, he slowly moves his hands to grip your ass squeezing it softly as you grind slowly on his clothed boner.

he groans softly in your mouth pulling away from the kiss and looking you up and down.

"gosh you are so beautiful, i fucking love how long your lashes are and how cute your lips are." he says softly caressing your cheeks as you put on your cheesy smile and burry your head in the crook of his neck.

✰ YEOSANG !

he loves when you cuddle him !

as you two are about to go to bed you both don't sleep with clothes on..really only panties for you and hes just wearing his boxers.

he really does love skin ship when it comes to sleeping with you

he likes to tightly hug you from the back whenever your mad at him and don't really want to look him in the eyes for the night.

oh and when your horny..he gets horny.

you rub your ass on his cock on purpose to see how he reacts even though you get the same reaction everytime you do it. he roughly pinches your nipples making you moan in pain.

"you bitch! that hurt!" you say turning around to him pouting. he laughs in your face as he caresses your hair.

"well your the one that wants to be bad. do you really want to test my waters right now?" you look him in the eyes with a smirk and tilt your head.

"do i sir?" you say smashing your lips onto his in an instant.

anddd the rest in most definitely up to your imagination! LMFAOO have fun!!

[lookingformoondrop]

OMG FINALLY SOMEONE WHO WRITES ABT THE COFFIN OF ANDY AND LEYLEY AAA

Honestly I'd take any writing about Andy LMFAO whatever you want to write, I'd just love to read something, be it headcanons or some short story <3

Absolutely! I was shocked when I tried finding content for TCOAAL, and there was none💀. For the sake of fluff Andy, the reader is the closest thing Andy has to a sister!

*Leyley doesn't exist*

P.S. Hopefully, this isn't OOC. This is also not proofread, so

I hope these meet your expectations <3

Andrew Graves x female best friend! Reader

TW: Everyone has a filthy mouth (swearing)... N/M = Nickname ♡

♡925 WORDS♡

Ever since Andrew was a kid, he was treated more as his parent's friend than their kid.

This often meant that Andrew was forced to miss out on childish routines like throwing a tantrum, making a mess, having fun the loud way, and making mistakes, simply because "he was so easy."

If he were to add to his parents' load of problems, he wouldn't be able to live with himself, let alone sleep.

But that was all before he met you.

Every Friday, Mrs. Graves would give Andrew money to go on a snack run for the weekend.

But no matter what he did, no matter when or how he entered the grocery store, this little girl (no less than five) would terrorize Andrew.

"She's so annoying, mom! She always snatches the snacks I go for and then bolts for the next aisle. Then she just giggles and runs away with MY TOMATO SOUP."

Mrs. Graves sighed and turned around to face her son, "Andrew, just because a little five year old girl is taking some of the same snacks as you DOES NOT MEAN I am letting you shop at a different store! 'Shop Shop Shop and Shop, with more Shop' is the best for low-deals and prices. Please don't be difficult."

With no other choices, Andrew was forced to continue shopping.

Every week, she did the same thing. She'd sneak up behind him when he wasn't paying attention. She'd snatch the poor snack out of Andrew's hand and would bolt out of the aisle.

And everytime she did this, Andrew would grow angrier and angrier.

Finally, when the little girl stole the hundredth can of soup from his hand, Andrew turned around and grabbed the little girl's hair.

"AHH! Get off of me asshole!"

"You little shit! Give me that can back!"

They'd fight over the can of soup in the middle of the aisle for the next 10 minutes before the store owner kicked them out for "public disturbances."

Now, without his can of soup, sitting at the curb outside the store, with new bite marks along his arm, Andrew was more pissed than ever.

"What the hell is your problem? Do you just find malicious torment funny, you borderline psycho?"

Andrew turned towards the girl. She turned her smile towards Andrew, "Nah, just you."

Annoyed and exhausted, he put his face in his hands.

She thought for a moment , "No one plays with me, so I figured I should play with someone who looked as miserable as me."

Andrew looked at her through his fingers, "What about me screamed misery?"

She put a finger on her bottom lip, deep in thought, "You just have this face,"

Andrew scoffed at the girl, burying his face in his knees. She giggled.

"You just naturally look like an asshole"

"Watch your language, you fucking shit!"

Andrew went to grab the girls hair, "You dont even know my name, and yet you're calling me an asshole!? No wonder you dont have any friends."

She slapped Andrew's hand before it could reach her, "Well, what's your name?"

Andrew hesitated, "It's...Andrew Graves. What's yours?"

The little girl smiled, "Y/N L/N, your new best friend, Aaaaandy."

Andrew sat lazily with Y/N, laying on his lap. He cringed when he thought about their first meeting.

Of all the things they could've fought about, it was a can of soup... God, they're fucking stupid.

Since that day, Y/N would beg Andrew for attention and fun. She'd stalk him when he was out and about and would drag him away from any errands he was requested to run on.

"Leave me alone, N/M"

"Make me~"

"Please?"

"Lame. Now I have to come with you! With that bitch ass attitude you'll get beat up."

"Great."

And when Andrew accidentally reveal his address? Andrew was permanently stuck with Y/N.

Every Friday, she'd follow Andrew home, and even when Mr. and Mrs. Graves questioned the foul-mouth girl Andrew would never offer an explanation better than, "Some stray I picked up that won't let go. I have to keep her."

"Aaaaandyyy, can you change the channel? I don't want to lift my eyelids."

Andrew sighed, "The remote is right by your leg, dumbass"

"So?" She scoffed, "reach it for me."

"It's closer to you than it is to me!"

"Andy change the goddamn channel!"

"i'm not getting up just because your ass wants to be lazy!"

"ANDREW"

"Y/N"

Even if that meant pissing each other off with meanless schemes.

Despite their bickering that has made local pedestrians' ears bleed, they still were there for each other in everything.

"Whatever, you dumb bastard," Y/N mumbled to herself.

Andrew played with Y/N's hair as he stared at the mindless TV.

"Veronica Steveson asked me out to the date."

"Aw, poor hussy"

"Ouch, you think so lowly of me?"

"No, I just assumed you said no," Y/N continued to watch the TV.

"Why would I...?" Before Andrew could finish his sentence, Y/N sat up and stared at him with intense eyes.

"Do you like her?"

"W- Well no, but it's not like any other girls are crawling to date me"

Y/N scoffed at Andrew, flicking his forehead, "That's because you're stupid to notice."

She laid back down on his lap, and Andrew secretly smiled to himself. "So...who aren't I noticing?"

"Your mom."

"Y/N GROSS!"

And even if no one admitted it out loud, and even if you blushed one too many times around each other, you belonged with each other.

"But seriously, Andy, pass me the remote"

"Eat shit, N/M"

Thank you for the ask <3

[clairoscharm]

━ my pov of ellie iv

cr : @idontgetanysleep & pinterest for the pics

dayana's talk : some of these happened to me irl lol #homoeroticfriendship #casual #itsbeenawhile

DAILY CLICK

DONT BUY TLOU

WAYS TO HELP PALESTINE

🍒 would tap your hands or you (in general) to sign as she wants to hold your hands

💋 do some artsy stuff for you even tho she thinks she is bad at it…

🍎 probably would say can i hold your hands LMFAO (#truestory) we love asking for consent type of ppl

🍒 the type that would draw something on your hands or the one who got drawn & she wouldn't mind it cause she's enjoying it.

💋 would send you videos or voice messages of her playing guitar or even playing it for you when the two of you are hanging out at her house.

🍎 shes a pussy i fear in a horror roblox game i fear (#me)

🍒 but she would be helpful especially if the games have riddles!

💋 probably would say or ask you to listen to an album together (charm by clairo & a new album from beabadoobee #selfinserted)

🍎 and would talk about which song is her fav and talk about the vibes and the beat from the album

🍒 would stay up all night (waiting for you to sleep first) on the phone bc you're scared of something/overthinking

💋 she's the type of person who would enjoy silence with someone she loves

🍎 her cooking for you when you're sick with help from joel or maybe dina!

🍒 MOVE A LOT WHEN SLEEPING

💋 the type who would say "farts incoming" to you

🍎 doesn't know how to do braids but knows how to tie a hair...? does that make sense?

🍒 would dedicate a board that fills with photobooth pictures (with you) or some drawing (from you) and hang it in her room, literally dedicated to you lol

💋 talks about EVERYTHING

🍎 i feel like ellie is dinosaur & wildlife animal enthusiastic as for abby she is more of a marine life girl.. idk it make sense to me... (im just saying)

🍒 her love language is cutting fruits for you as a snacks

💋 she loveeeeeeeee spending time with you to the point that she would go to your house every day back then

🍎 would sing the meow meow (what was i made for) song to annoy you or anytime she's feeling sad

🍒 ellie is not stingy with you, she would definitely buy you everything (if she could)

💋 her diary or journal fills with her yapping about you

🍎 would yapping to joel, dina and jesse as well. she swear she didn't mean too!!

🍒 drawing and doodling together

💋 would take everything in her not to burden you (shes overthinks a lot and also w her other problems) and ofc you would give her words of affirmation

🍎 ellie probably start doing something or gestures that you do as well without herself noticing it like she tries to get more involved with films and tv shows just because you're a major film nerd

🍒 not good with words umm... but she tries her best tho!

💋 you sure do make her feel like she's juna by clairo (this is hinted i am writing a shot based on this song)

🍎 i feel like being in a relationship with ellie is like a calm sunday morning with warm tea in hand as you talk with your partner about the future, present and past.

REMINDER !!

that neil is a zionist and therefore dont buy his games, doesnt matter remastered or not !!!

before you leave, have you DONATE TO PALESTINE today? ITS FREE TOO !!

[harrysfolklore]

tamara anthony (ttamara.anthonyy) has great fitness lifestyle content 

came up with this idea while harry was on tour and honestly i loved how this one turned out ! hi hope you like it <33

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by bradgouldtraining and 5,927 others

yourinstagram recipe for banana bread latte coming asap

view all 102 comments

yourbestie yeees please

username1 Can’t wait for my class on tuesday

username2 fit queenie 🕺

bradgouldtraining I miss you

↳ yourinstagram excuse me mr celebrity trainer you’re living your european summer

↳ bradgouldtraining You can come along you know that

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 10,937 others

harryupdates Harry and Brad working out in London recently!

view all 1,028 comments

harryfan1 OH WTF

harryfan2 this just altered my brain chemistry

yourinstagram so THAT’S what you’ve been doing @bradgouldtraining

↳ bradgouldtraining You mean working? Yes

↳ harryfan3 LMFAO BRAD ??? 😭

liked by yourinstagram, maudeapatow and 3,817,433 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Madrid. July, 2023.

view all 77,826 comments

harryfan1 OMGGG

paulithepsm ❤️

harryfan2 ABBSRRY

yourinstagram oooh great job @bradgouldtraining

↳ bradgouldtraining I’ve been telling you

↳ harryfan3 HUUH what’s going on

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 7,837 others

harryupdates Harry just followed this account on Instagram ! From what we gathered, she’s a pilates coach based in Los Angeles and she’s Brad’s bestie 👀

view all 976 comments

harryfan1 oooh tea

harryfan2 following his boyfriend’s besties

harryfan3 she’s so prettyyyyy

harryfan4 just followed her she posts cool content

INSTAGRAM DMS

//

liked by harrystyles, bradgouldtraining and 10,927 others

yourinstagram pizza ! pasta ! colazione ! 🍝

also did i play the love on tour outfit game right ?

view all 318 comments

yourbestie SLAY GIRL

username1 we’re going to miss your class this week 😢

pillowpersonpp 🙌🏻

harryfan1 ohh that’s brad’s bestie and she’s going to the show tonight that’s cuuute

bradgouldtraining You won the game 🕺

↳ harrystyles Agreed.

↳ harryfan2 HARRYYYY ACTIVERRY WTF

liked by jenniferaniston, yourinstagram and 3,303,844 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Reggio Emilia. July, 2023.

view all 80,198 comments

harryfan1 NOOO DONT LEAVE

anthonypham End of an era 😢

bradgouldtraining 👏

harryfan2 I MISS HIM ALREADY

yourinstagram congratulations, rockstar 🕺

harrystyles liked this comment

harryfan3 my heart hurts

alessandro_michele 💘

liked by harrystyles, pillowpersonpp and 18,763 others

yourinstagram finally back in the city, who’s coming to 5pm pilates today? 🤸‍♀️

view all 588 comments

harryfan1 hello bestie

bradgouldtraining Bet 💪

harryfan2 SO was she the girl in the yatch with harry or not

harryfan3 harry liked tho 😭

glenne_azoff See you tomorrow !!

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 8,937 others

harryupdates Harry leaving a gym in LA today !

view all 1,018 comments

harryfan1 BUUUB

harryfan2 he looks so hot

harryfan3 PILATES GIRL

harryfan4 I MISS HIM

DEUXMOI VIA IG STORIES

//

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 90,927 others

celebrityleaks HARRY STYLES LEAVES LOS ANGELES GYM WITH MYSTERIOUS GIRL 👀

view all 5,938 comments

harryfan1 CUT THE CAMERAS

harryfan2 so what was said in deuxmoi was true 😭😭

harryfan3 aren’t we going to point out that might be yn, brad’s best friend

bradgouldtraining Busted @harrystyles @yourinstagram

THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN DETED

harryfan4 LMFAO BRAD WE ALL SAW THAT 😭

liked by harrystyles, bradgouldtraining and 43,937 others

yourinstagram life lately 💗

view all 1,027 comments

harryfan1 HAAAARRRYYY

harryfan2 SO THEY’RE DATING ??

bradgouldtraining Text me ASAP

↳ harryfan3 LET ME INNN

paulithepsm ❤️

harrystyles Pilates girl, pilates.

↳ harryfan2 STOOOP😭

liked by harrystyles, yourinstagram and 93,726 others

bradgouldtraining Thirdwheeling with my friends is a thing now.

view all 6,826 comments

harryfan1 BRAD

paulithepsm 😂😂😂 Those kiddos

harryfan2 HARRY AND YN??

harrystyles That’s what mates are for.

↳ harryfan3 no way he friendzones brad

↳ yourinstagram exactly

↳ harryfan4 HEEEELP

gif by @londonharry &lt;3

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 8,827 others

harryupdates Harry in @thepilatesclass new Reel!

view all 1,016 comments

harryfan1 STOOP

harryfan2 WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

harryfan3 yn works in that studio 😭

yourinstagram my favorite pilates girlie so true

↳ harryfan4 HEEEELP

↳ harryfan1 I LOVE HER

liked by pillowpersonpp, harrystyles and 39,973 others

yourinstagram one direction themed class tomorrow 🕺 requested by a very special and annoying someone. book your spot now !!

view all 5,874 comments

harryfan1 I BET HARRY’S ASS REQUESTED THAT 😭

bradgouldtraining No way I’m missing this

harryfan2 LET ME INNNNNNN

harrystyles You adore me x

↳ yourinstagram ugh as if

↳ harryfan3 idk if they’re dating or they’re just friends but i LOVE this

FANS VIA TWITTER

//

liked by niallhoran, yourinstagram and 8,937,268 others

harrystyles Working out to One Direction is cool.

view all 90,268 comments

harryfan1 OMFGSGGSGSG

harryfan2 THIS JUST COLLAPSED THE INTERNET

niallhoran 😂❤️ Miss you mate

↳ harryfan2 TODAY IS THE BEST DAY EVER

jefezoff 🙌🏻

bradgouldtraining Proven that results are boosted by 100%

yourinstagram you’re soo lucky you’re cute

↳ harrystyles 🥰

↳ harryfan5 THIS ENTIRE POST IS A FEVER DREAM

HARRY’S CLOSE FRIENDS STORIES

taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily @watermelonsugacry @rayisthehoe @drewrry

[faye-writes-stuff]

welp here we go again

INCORRECT QUOTES TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

---------------

Y/n: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday Dream: Wednesay Y/n: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

---------------

Y/n: Dream, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power! Dream: Well of course I have. Dream: Have you ever tried going mad without power? Dream: It's boring.

---------------

Y/n: Today is a day of running through hurdles. Ranboo: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles? Y/n: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

---------------

Y/n: Ranboo... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Ranboo: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Y/n: Y/n: I wrote sanitize, Ranboo

---------------

Y/n: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Sapnap: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

---------------

Y/n: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Sapnap: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

---------------

George: Welcome, fellow idiots Y/n: Hello, George George: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot Y/n: You underestimate me

---------------

George: *Gets down on one knee* Y/n: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. George: *Falls over* Y/n: The poison is kicking in.

---------------

Tommy: Change is inedible. Y/n: Don't you mean inevitable? Tommy, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

---------------

Tommy: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Y/n's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...

---------------

Tubbo: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Y/n: Oh, I’m always running Y/n: The question is from what

---------------

Tubbo: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Y/n: It’s not a joke. Y/n: *sniffles* Y/n: I’m a legit snack.

---------------

Foolish: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao Y/n: What did you do op? Foolish: A MISTAKE

---------------

Y/n: Foolish... Foolish: Oh no, 'Foolish' in b-flat. Foolish: You're disappointed.

---------------

Technoblade: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Y/n: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Technoblade, desperately, as Y/n bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Y/n: Oh! B positive. Technoblade: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Y/n:

---------------

Technoblade, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. Y/n: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Technoblade, with the tone of someone who is used to Y/n: Outstanding. Technoblade: This is what I’m talking about people.

---------------

Technoblade: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Y/n: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Technoblade: Absolutely not.

---------------

i accidentally hit post on this too early so if you saw this b4 it was finished- no you didn't

ANYWAYS enjoy, because the last one got over 300 likes so

ic master list :)

[conceptofjoy]

how do u imagine the Dynamic between dave and davepeta postgame. ik ur more of a dsprite fan than dp but i think it could/would be Very fascinating. plays a role in cracking daves eggy loking thign

i love both very dearly :) i draw dsprite a lot more partly bc of the self imposed sprite rules i made for my pc au. seb’s an exception, lets just say some kind of splinter bullshit happened lol.

pre retcon dave had that convo w jade abt ds. the way he talked abt him’s can be easily summarized by saing “hes me when it’s beneficial and not me when it makes me uncomfortable/ makes me need to confront some things.”

he’d totally just compartmentalize any interactions in that way lmfao. oh so youre a catbird sprite thing? alright im an ally do your thing bro i mean they. nepeta’s side of things wants to just PRY him open and the dave side’s like this is going to be so much fun. dps wants to fuck with him SOOO badly but also doesnt want him to run away from the egg crackification process. dave keeps avoiding dps not so casually but jade keeps looking at him disappointedly so they have to hang out. jade knows that theyre pulling something’s so tells dps to ease up on dave but thats literally an impossible ask.

dps explains some stuff about the gender thing bc dave is only casually interested. totally.

DAVE: so like a boy and a girl came together to make a nonbinary person?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B//< ummm

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< something like that!

DAVE: i dunno it seems pretty clear cut

DAVE: oh shit unless the bird also had some kinda bird gender and shook things up

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: >B33< yeah i had to do all kinds of gender maths as soon as i came into existence

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< did you know bird gender and cat gender cancel each other out?

DAVE: no shit?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< no that was a joke dump ass!

DAVE: i knew that

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< sure

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< well i dont think the bird had anything to do with the gender maths. or the sword

DAVE: sword gender…

DAVE: wait wasnt the bird a mama bird?

DAVE: seemed pretty intent on keeping our game egg to herself remember?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B00< ohhh yeah

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< my bad

DAVE: you remember being a bird???

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< no comment

DAVE: oh shit thats not very dave of you

DAVE: any dave i know would jump right into a whole spiel about how tough life is as a single bird mom

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: >B33< well dave thats because�� im not you!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< we went over this before! lets go back to the gender thing

DAVE: yeah yeah

DAVE: ok gender

DAVE: so a human boy a troll girl a bird mom and a sword walk into two kernel sprites

DAVE: wait shit do the kernel sprite have genders too?

DAVE: kernel gend-

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: XOO< holy shit i think i get what equius went through

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< do you see what youre doing to me dave? youre making me sympathize with a sweaty and incredibly silly 13 year old troll boy

DAVE: haha youre funny as shit

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< thank you

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< yeah while the other components probably added some other gender stuff

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< it was mostly dave and nepeta’s gender that influenced mine

DAVE: yeah alright

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< like nepeta for example

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< grew up away from society and barely had to deal with the caste system

DAVE: sure

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< theres specifc roles assigned to each gender and caste but nepeta just didnt get the memo

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< despite the friend group being a pretty non hemoist

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B??< hemoist?

DAVE: sure hemoist

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< well despite the group being all “who gives a crap about your blood color and gender”

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< nepeta still felt like there was just something no one decided to tell him that dictated every interaction he had with everyone else

DAVE: yeah i totally get tha-

DAVE: wait “him”?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< …

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: ‘833< what?

DAVE: wait was nepeta a boy???

DAVE: oh shit how did no one ever correct me this whole time-

DAVE: no wait pause

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: ‘B33< paws

DAVE: paws

DAVE: no stop that

DAVE: if nepeta’s a boy and im a boy…

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: ‘B33< …

DAVE: were you lying about the bird gender thing or???

DAVEPETASPRITE^2:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< yes dave. i really am part boy gender and part bird mom gender

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< *SIGH* i think thats enough for today. i tried my best

DAVE: huh?

[foodtruckery]

(Abo anon) your ideas are making me FERAL I'm so obsessed with how you characterize the brothers and god poor stan has been THROUGH it. But oh?? My gosh??? The imagery of stan working himself through his heat in the basement, fantasizing about stanford YOOOO I'm just imagining him trying to basically fist himself as a makeshift knot and imagining if his hand had just one more finger- and then losing himself a little bit at the thought (which he will then bury deep deep down in the "do not touch" box of his mind)

I wonder if ford questioned what could have caused the damage to his first journal lmfao or if he noticed it at all (I'm sure if stan ever tells him about it hed blue screen over the mental image)

And ofc stan would absolutely try to brush the whole event aside even if the smart thing to do is just stay off supressents (I'm glad you brought up his age because I WAS wondering if him being older would actually affect his likelihood of having heats) stan is gonna crush this all down under gravity falls new fav phrase "never mind all that"

Until ford realizes what stans planning and throws a fit I assume lol bro probably tries to play it off like hes worried for stans health but in reality hes just does NOT want to give up his deepest fantasy come to life

Which reminds me (I would apologize for yapping but I'm just meeting your energy here lmao) the idea of ford putting stan in his place of the hierarchy when he comes back through the portal? I keep thinking about the "what if" of that. Like. Would stans suppressants fail or would he just have to play along and pretend hes an alpha getting bitched? If it's the former I imagine ford (because as smart as he is, hes still an idiot) would somehow assume he MADE stan into an omega right there and then lmfao before stan corrects him ofc

I feel like I should start signing these off with something so I dont have to keep putting abo anon at the top lmfao

hahahaha! by all means, if you wanna have a sign off or an emoji or something, i'm all for it! especially considering at this point you've basically become my primary co-conspirator for this shit -- you know that right??

because, see, YOU GET IT. the way i yelled at the 'trying to fist himself to emulate ford's knot' comment like fuck yeah buddy, absolutely. i like to think that once he had his head on straight again, stan tried really hard to clean the journal up as much as possible, but there's not a ton to do for where it stained, or where pages got, ahem, wet and then dried out of shape. but if he calls it water stains most people aren't gonna look twice (most people will never even SEE this damn book), and honestly he'd be a liiiiittle bit relieved that it gets torched.

but he does probably slip up or get comfortable enough later on, when things are out in the open and a little more relaxed, where he makes a joke about it. spills a little water or coffee or something on whatever new journal ford is maintaining of their seafaring adventures, and laughing it off as "hey, not the worst thing i've ever gotten on one of these things, quit griping, would ya?" and ford's like "what is THAT supposed to mean?" and yeah, absolutely fucking bluescreens when he eventually gets the story out of stan because first of all, how did that even work and second of all, the idea of carrying around his journal knowing it's stained with slick he got out of stan? my mans is a mess.

and yes! i was thinking that the reason stan is still having heats at all at this age is largely due to how badly he fucked over his own cycles for most of his life and then just going cold turkey off all of them cause eh! he doesn't need that shit anymore. like it probably wouldn't actually be that big of a deal if it was just suppressants - lots of people take those! - or just beta or alpha pheremones. but going back and forth between all of them, getting a lot of those drugs from less-than-reputable sources to keep the secret safe, mixing shit he shouldn't have or taking enough expired stuff? frankly he should be less concerned with still getting heats and more concerned with checking his fucking liver or something.

and yeah, the easiest way to deal is definitly just to grab more drugs and nip this shit in the bud the way that's always worked. but ford is Not About That at all. catch his ass upending pills into the ocean if that's what it takes. and of course it's for stan's health, it's clearly not good for him to be on these drugs, and also what is there to worry about if it happens again? ford isn't going anywhere, he can help if stan needs him to, as many times as he needs him to. and stan is the one who said he didn't care about presenting as an omega nowadays, right? why upend all that over something so silly?

(and you know damn well at this point that we're just yappers, keep it coming) cause like I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO. about if they had gotten into it when ford came back through the portal. like other than some posturing and shit (okay like a LOT of posturing when it comes to some jackasess, cue bud for example), stan probably hasn't been legitimately threatened by an alpha in ages. and back when that did happen more regularly, stan is used to punching above his weight class, and probably hasn't been on the "bitch" end of a bitching in a long fucking time. probably hasn't even been on the receiving end of regular sex in a hot minute, as much for general preference as to keep up appearances.

but even when he has dealt with prick alphas trying to make a point since settling into gravity falls, they definitely weren't as worked up and aggressive as ford is after coming through that portal. and it's absolutely never happeend in the room where he has, in fact, gone into heat at least once. or with, y'know, ford himself. so yeah, it's absolutely possible that it's a perfect storm for triggering a heat. or, if not triggering a full on heat, it may trigger more biological bullshit; producing more slick than he has outside of a heat since he was in his damn 20's. and ford would ABSOLUTELY ASSUME he had done that -- which YEAH okay technically he did, but not because he has a magical dick, ford you moron.

it might actually kill stan to let ford think that bullshit if it means getting to keep up appearanaces for a little longer.

[thatdeadaquarius]

-vine boom

I probably sent a lot of these now im so sorry lmfao 😅

You mentioned in one of the asks that some countries are like a prototype/based of our existing countries, like Germany=Mondstadt, Liyue=China, Inzauma=Japan....

So even though the language is more or less identical for you to make heads and tails in a conversation or writing in a book, the reverse side does not.

Creator!Reader who knows a couple of languages (plus points if they're atleast fluent or have a understanding of it despite not being able to speak said language) and being born from a country that doesnt have the same language as the countries Teyvat based off. Basically Spanish, Italian, Filipino, Scandinavian languages that also have their own way of writing.

Imagine feeling homesick and the only thing that keeps you occupied is the notebook and pen you have while the others converse in a meeting or in a hangout. You started writing in your tongue and re-reading it to relive memories.

Zhongli, AlHaitham, Albedo, Jean, maybe the Berry bros too (Diluc & Kaeya) get curious only to have a double-take and immediately thinks that maybe there is a forgotten land in Teyvat that has this language, I mean Morax stayed faithful to Liyue and Barbatos blessed his country with abundance of supplies and freedom. Teyvat gods and archons played favourites, so why wouldn't you as well? (Bonus: Khaenriah flashbacks) (also I know these arent enough characters but how should I know? I only have a handful of them and I ran out of Primos😭

The people from Akademiya though? I mean they went hard on theorizing and picking apart the language of their creator. Have you seen Matpat's descent to insanity the more FNAF continues to push out LoRe? Thats basically them because Teyvat doesn't have a country based on Creator's birth country. They're grasping nothing but air and dead ends and the only lead they have is you, but couldnt ask because you look so down and they cant bear to see Creator sad....

(NEW BANNER TOMORROW AND I DONT HAVE ENOGH PRIMOGEMS HALP---)

Rip Vine boom no primos 🙏 hope u got some more by this time bc i was so late to reply lol - DUDE IM SO READY FOR THE GORG KAVEH <333

BERRY BROS!! Thats it, thats the only way im gonna refer to them now.

Not super long to add onto ur bc UR SO SMART AND SUCH A GOOD WRITER VINEBOOM U SHOULD ALSO WRITE STUFF SO I CAN GO OBSESS OVER UR WRITING WITH A MILLION FERAL COMMENTS-!!!

(Cute owl house gif is like, metaphorially u and zhongli in this lol)

EDIT 8/23/23: So this may be inaccurate/not that good to my Hispanic Readers out there! Sorry about that, I'l make sure to do better in the future.

EDIT 1/1/24: Unfortunately there are even more issues here, and I'm really sorry about that. I expanded on it more in my Eldritch fanfic post in Part 2, but it was exoticism of me to use the word "Huangdi". I have since replaced it with "Emperor", and don't intend to just erase the mistake like it never happened. But I did change it in the headcanons for better readability. Again, I'm genuninely sorry about this, and will absolutely be watching out/doing better in the future. I hope you understand.

THIS SOUNDS SO SAD, LIKE THIS COULD DEF BE ANGST, ESP SINCE U HAVE NO FAMILIAR-ISH CULTURE TO TURN TO-

tbh im american and i def dont think theres a u.s. country- oh god at least I hope not, damn but im also familiar with mexican culture so i wouldnt miss the united states, but id miss mexican culture…

BUT!!

You have a lot of amazing people who care about you in Teyvat, so they won’t let you stew in ur homesickness for long

like random said, i could see it being small stuff

ok so imma just-

LATINO! READER TIME BABBYYYYY

(i do this bc its just the culture/language im more familiar with, but dont let that discourage anyone from requesting other cultures! I will def do my research, or ur welcome to tell me all about it so i can write it better! <3)

THAT BEING SAID IM MOSTLY WHITE PLS LMK IF SHIT IS WRONG/SPANISH IS WRONG BC IM STILL A BEGINNER MY BELOVED LATINES!

<3 YOU GUYS

♡

you’ve been in the game-turned-life world of Genshin Impact for nearly 6 months now, turns out time isnt wonky as hell like it is if you were playing the game, half bc u bribed Albedo with answers to his many questions about you if he figured out the time difference, and half bc of ur internal clock

people would notice the cuss words first lmao

like Xiao hearing u stubbing ur toe on the million and one steps up to Wangshu Inn, hijueputa!

or Keqing pointing out the words you coo at the dogs hanging out by the bridge outside the harbor,

un perrito tan buenoooo!! :’)

while most would just, " hmm, maybe a dialect of one of the other countries we havent heard…"

but Zhongli? he’s been ready for centuries in case the prophecy came true within his lifetime, afterall, many things changed while he’s been alive, not crazy to him that you might descend randomly

While everyone else was unprepared, bc u were like… the oldest deity, more legend than history, so ppl just thought Morax was a little overly faithful …so when it actually happened,, Morax was just smirking as he watched ur golden shooting star streak the night sky… while absolute pandemonium consumed the mortals and adepti in liyue lmao

(like that scene of Regina George in Mean Girls watching the student body break out into an all out brawl just smirking 😭 pls god look it up if u dont know what i mean- )

So Morax- Zhongli, has been ready for you, just in case, to pay attention to what kind of person you’d be, learn your favorite clothes/colors/offerings, see what things you’d like to talk about with him (hopefully for hours) etc.

He was observant, and with his memory, he practically gave himself headaches sometimes with how aware he was,

on one of those days he was overwhelmed by the mortal crowds, the smells, the market yelling, and all the change from what he thought he knew-

Zhongli noticed you in your own melancholy, and curious, he began to stroll just behind

You sit at Wanmin restaurant, still somber, and ask Xiangling to

“please try out these recipes? they’re from my world, and id really love to have something like them again..”

a true experimental chef as always, Xiangling quickly takes up your offer, and u follow her into the kitchens in the back (the restaurant is much more real than in game, they have gorgeous inside seating, all shades of red coloring the walls and lots of pretty latticework-)

Zhongli takes a seat finally, he has a usual table at this point he comes in so much coughtorunintoyoucough the staff know it's his and give him tea pretty quickly

the food, and the looks, makes it your favorite restaurant in Liyue, the Liuli Pavilion a little too fancy for casual dining, afterall, Zhongli would know

He’s tried to keep track of your favorite places to be in Liyue too, and kept his near full attention on what you say when he asks after your stays in Liyue (he hasn’t felt the need to pay that much attention or felt that much interest in conversation partners in… decades?)

So when you come out of the kitchen, throwing your head back and laughing, "Sí, sí! It all tastes so close Xiangling! Gracias, thank you!"

He wants… to know.

to know what those strange, but delicious looking, foods are all balanced on two big dinner plates

Xiangling carrying whatever you couldn’t just behind, a pitcher of white liquid, it smells, like cinnamon?

He raises a hand, and offers the extra seats at his table, (when did his tea go cold? he only just sat down, he couldn’t have spent that long thinking about you…)

You notice and look over, a giddy grin lighting up your face (…hmm, perhaps he needs to transform into his Exuvia form and let off some steam, his chest has warmed too much right now for him to just be sitting here…)

You plop into the seat beside him, but not before carefully placing the plates in front of both you and Zhongli

You scootch around until you’re turned towards him, as always, Zhongli looks… actually kind of, happy?

a small soft smile pulls at his lips, his eyes half-lidded as they meet yours, his usual red eyeliner framing his monolids perfectly, he looks like he’s been,, well, sculpted from stone, an artwork come to life

“…My Emperor? Could I trouble you to tell me about the dishes before us?”

the geo god’s pleasantly smooth and deep voice felt so soft asking you that, like he didn’t want to push you one direction or the other

“Oh! Right! Sorry, these are from my home country, back in my world, or at least, as close as Xiangling and I can get to them!”

Your smile brightens your face once more, clearing away any leftover stormclouds from your mood earlier, and as you launch into explaining (Xiangling had to get back to orders, so it’s just you two now)

You list it all, the quintessential: quesadillas, empanadas, tamales, chorizo (you had to combine at least 5 different spices to Mondstadt sausages to get anywhere close to the real thing) the dips obviously, salsa, queso, guacamole, and the easy street tacos, and finally the horchata, but also all the weird fruits Teyvat has with chile, like Sunsettias mixed with Harra from Sumeru or Lavender melons with Wolfhook berries… all surpringly pretty good

(the Sun-Harra combo tastes like mango, a sort of deeper taste of pineapple/kiwi and a sort of light orange taste? all with the nice addition of chile flavors, the Lavender melons and Wolfhooks helped imitate chamoy enough that your heart was satisfied)

…you realize you’ve just been talking about the last meal you had with your family/friends instead of the food after a bit, and Zhongli hasn’t said anything…

you trail off and look back over your shoulder (u were practically about to get your shirt in the imitation guac u were leaning so far over the table to point and talk)

you’re about to sheepishly apologize for taking over the conversation, and ask if he wants to try anything (Zhongli can handle spice so u dont have to worry abt that at least)

but as u finally see his face, u just stop, and dont end up saying anything

He’s just, looking at you.

his smile's not huge, but big enough to make his eyes look happy, and Zhongli’s just… looking at you.

You can’t describe the look he’s giving you, but you suddenly feel… a wave of shyness wash over your heart in your chest, because he’s looking almost like, maybe like, he’s sort of, waiting for you to keep talking, his tan skin warm in the golden rays of the sun beginning to set, you don’t know why you’re noticing any of these things, and he gently, slowly, makes a move to lean into your space a little

almost above your armrest, head inches from your shoulder, he finally moves to stop looking at you-

He looks like a painting as he looks down, his eyelashes almost sitting on his high cheekbones,

you have to move your head to looking at the table too as he moved so close,

you feel your shoulders reflexitively hitch upwards as you brushed the hair on the side of his head as you turned away

He looks around, and then moves his head, not his body, he’s still leaning toward you, to look you right in the eyes again

“Why did you stop? I haven’t said much, I apologize, but it’s only because I wanted to hear you without anything interrupting you.”

You cough a little strained, “Oh! Oh I get it now yeah, thanks-”

“I want to hear you more,” his black eyes begin to warm with gold, you can vaguely see the shape of his diamond pupil revealing itself, “I want to hear about… everything, if you’ll tell me? The language, the food, the drinks, your family, your dances, your country, I want to hear it all. Won’t you please let me hear your voice some more?”

♡

GOOOD LOOORDDDD, ITS SO LONGGGGG IM SO SORRRYYY 😭😭

OKAY IM MOSTLY SORRY THAT THIS SCENARIO HAPPENED??? IDK WHERE ZHONGLI CAME FROM- GOD IM SUBCONCIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH THAT MAN I GUESS, SORRY RANDOMANTICS-

uh, hope somebody got anything out of this, sorry abt the length, again,

also pls somebody tell me if what i said about culture/food was alright! If not I’ll def change it, pls dont let me keep it up if its inaccurate/wrong!!

Safe Travels you guys,

💀♒️

.°•.☆.•°.

♡ the beloveds ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk

[liquidstar]

SEASON 3 TRAILER DROPPED HERES MY THOUGHTS (LN spoilers)

BROTHER AND SISTER OF ALL TIME THEYRE SO CUTE <3 love seeing how their relationship has progressed from beako literally throwing him out a window for stuff like this to her happily playing along its so so so so so cute. genuinely just one of the cutest and sweetest dynamics in the series

hi ram roswaal and fred :) this is probably all we're going to really see of you guys this arc lol

JOSHUA REAL!!!!! but not for long (also otto in the bg foreshadowing all the drinking hes about to do this arc. hes so stressed. poor emilia is trying her best)

julius looks so babyfaced here? they really emphasized his long eyelashes just like subaru has been on about every time he mentions him. they better include the scene where he checks him out, like, if they dont animate subaru looking dead at this mans ass im going to riot

i LOVE this shot of ana. you can really tell shes up to some corrupt capitalist bullshit as we speak. love her for that. wish i had this pic when i made that one money game anastasia video

the red dress actually does look really good on crusch like it compliments the green hair really well but also the crusch we know would not walk around in such a thing so its like. damn looks like the "memories are an important part of identity" story thinks memories are an important part of identity. who knew.

ALSO LOVE FELTS NEW LOOK SO MUCH! the only complaint is i felt (felt lol) like the red brought out her eyes more but the blue also looks cool. three primary colors all being used looks nice too

whatever who cares about all that THE CUNT!!!!!!! THE CUNT IS HERE!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE DRAMA SHE CAUSES TO BE ANIMATED FOR REAL

no fucking way... did they actually...

THEY DID! THEY CENSORED THAT HORRIBLE FUCKING DESIGN OH MY GOD. SHES WEARING SHORTS AND JUST A CROPPED SHIRT. AND CHAPS I GUESS? BUT ALSO A LITTLE SKIRT CAPE SO NO ASS SHOTS... THIS WILL MAKE WATCHING THE SEASON SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. i mean not perfect but STILL.

photos taken seconds before disaster lmfao. i still love how chin thinks subaru is a freak and weirdo for being so buddy buddy with him after he and his buddies mugged him. twice. (even more times from subarus perspective. hell he stabbed subaru once) genuinely cant wait to see more of this dynamic its so stupid.

THE FUCKING CUNT!!!!!! also the apples lol

oh you poor thing. you have no idea what next level family drama bullshit awaits. good luck. get ready to kill grandma AGIAN lol

:'( emilia still misses her terrible cat dad and its kinda sad when you know were not getting a resolution on that here either. they both look so sad :(

i cannot wait for garf mommy issues round fucking 2.

THIS CRAZY BITCH!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS CRAZY BITCH ANIMATED. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THEYRE PORTRAY HER MANNERISMS. ESP W HOW WILD PETELGEUSE WAS ANIMATED IN S1. REAL LOONY TOONS BULLSHIT. AND HER POWERS ARE ALSO SOOOOOO MUCH COOLER I CANT WAIT

NO MORE DRESSES FOR CRUSCH YAY

he fucking bit it. yeah i guess thats what dogs do tho.

YOU. DIVORCE MAN. KILL YOURSELF. SLASH SERIOUS.

the empathy powers will have a glowing eye effect. very cool but i hope they dont show it too much in the first scene bc like in the LN i think its cooler if you dont know why everything is so... Wrong.

i dont rly have anything to say i just think ferris looks cool covered in blood. imagine being healed here like doctor catgirl will see you now

emilia be nice. that crazy bitch might be your mom. just like how the previous crazy bitch was in fact your dad.

THEY CHANGED UP CAPELLA'S DESIGN TOO honestly tho her being sexualized makes sense w a lot of the themes (the way its intentionally meant to be perverse and gross in a way explicitly stated) so i didnt mind as much and she still IS here but. this is still an improvement imo just a better outfit looks cooler. bug.

NAUR I DONT WANNA WAIT... OCTOBER.... AUGH

[zerosxns]

wait nawhhh i completely forgot about this one ☝️ HANBIN IS AN ASS MAN DONT EVEN TALK TO ME RN CAUSE IM GONNA EXPLODE. Imagine one night you and hanbin got into an argument as soon as you came back home from work, and you guys end up giving each other the silent treatment by the end

(its silence aint no baCK TAWK)

So when you leave your shared bedroom with a short lace nightgown cause its ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS WHERE YOU WANNA BE COMFY… you go to the kitchen to make some dinner for yourself…bending…over…to grab some…things…

hanbin was just gonna grab some “water” (he just wanted to see if you were okay he cant stay mad for long T-T) he saw a peak of you ass (bonus if you weren’t wearing underwear that night or a thong OOF HE WOULD GO BRRR) and he would just walk up to you and rub his crotch against your ass (extra extra bonus if hes wearing sweatpants YO.) you would be like … oh…? And stand back up—now your back hitting his chest, his mouth SOO close to your ear saying something like “you make it hard to stay mad” feathering kisses on your ear and neck…

Erm… kinda wrote a shitty ass half meme’d fic in your anon box but WE 🆙 LMFAO i hope you like it 🤕

-🥞 anon (two strikes)

WARNINGS ⚸ arguments. unintentional tempting. dubcon/noncon dry humping. mentions of make up sex.

hanbin hates arguing with you, and he will do anything to get you to forgive him and talk to him again. even if that means playing dirty.

he knows you like to have space when you’re upset, but he can’t let you go to bed angry. he likes to talk things out when he’s upset. but if you won’t let him talk it out, he has to get creative with his ways to get you to talk to him.

so when you were in separate rooms after a big argument and you walked past him wearing one of the short, satin and lace nightgowns he loves to see you in, still giving him the silent treatment, he gets an idea in his mind. he can hear the opening and closing of cabinets, dishes clanking, and he figures you were making food, seeing as your argument happened before dinner. suddenly, his throat feels dry, he’s parched, and he needs a glass of water.

hanbin walks in the kitchen to find you bent over to reach in the cupboard for the appropriate pan to use. right below the door the cups are behind. he can’t help but steal a glance, leaning back to get a better view. as he does, he notices the absence of fabric beneath the gown. were you seriously not wearing any panties right now? he takes a few silent steps forward, body thinking before his brain catches up, and presses directly against you.

“fuck, hanbin, what are you doing? you scared me.” your eyes widened, realizing you managed to break your silent treatment so easily. you finally stand up, having found the pan you were looking for at that exact moment.

he smiles. “i’m thirsty. just grabbing a glass.” hanbin leans forward to open the cupboard. you were trapped between him and the counter, his already half hard cock slotting perfectly between your ass cheeks. “you know,” he accidentally rolls his hips against yours. “you make it hard to be upset.”

you gulp, body betraying you and reacting to his touch. it was pathetic just how quickly you could feel yourself getting worked up. “what…do you mean?” you tried to keep your tone firm, but failed.

he presses you further against the counter, arms caging you in now, glass of water and pan being long forgotten. his breath fans across your neck, lips so close yet so far from touching your skin. “you walk around here in these little flimsy dresses.” he grips the fabric with one hand, pulling it up to where it bunches at your hips. your dripping cunt now on display, wetting the front of his grey sweats with every push of the hips. “it’s like you want me to bend you over this counter and fuck it out of our systems.”

you moaned, grinding back against against him. “hanbin, please…”

[dorims]

What kinks do u think Roman has?

I just know they’re weird (and I’d still be into them)

so if i have to be honest, ive never really thought about roman's kinks 🥲 HOWEVER you know how he shamed tom for swallowing back his cum after tabs sucked him off?? yeah he's definitely into that and you can't tell me otherwise.

and without further ado! a little brainstorm under the cut <3

tags. VERY SUGGESTIVE, MDNI, an overall masochistic vibe, degradation/praise, allusions to cheating, impact play, mentions of roman's low self-esteem

a/n. psa im not familiar with writing smut and if i gotta be honest im pretty vanilla myself so...do with that what you will LMFAO

masochism

hes a masochist, we been knew

its pretty much the central theme of these hcs too

degradation/praise

so definitely degradation bc its roman, cmon. but for some reason i cant help but think that he's really into being praised too?

could be wrong but i feel like he'd only let himself be praised after he's developed a solid bond with his partner, and it'd probably go from being degraded to a mix of degradation and praise to full praise in some occasions.

if theres not a smooth transition i feel like he would panic and shut himself out. like it feels too intimate or smth.

cuckolding (controversial)

i think he would like it bc it hurts. like his partner sleeping with someone else is kind of like a slap to the face

a situation that has him constantly thinking 'I'm not enough' and that kind of hurt i think he gets off on bc masochism <3

but thats only maybe with the condition he somehow gets the chance to prove to himself and to you that he is better than the person you're sleeping with

OR he's into 'pseudo-cuckolding' so he likes the idea that you COULD go and sleep with someone but you dont, kinda like what happened with grace and the server

SO MAYBE IM WRONG and he would actually hate this but you know, im trynna brainstorm

phone sex (is this even a kink?)

only the sound of your voice and his,

kinda like the romangerri situation LMFAO

because think about it, this way you dont have to actually see him. that would comfort him in some way because of his low self-esteem and self-image issues. that way you can picture anything you want and not be disappointed with the real thing, you know?

i also think that phone sex (or bathroom door sex????) would help him open up until he grows comfortable enough in the intimacy the two of you are building

love how this are supposed to be smut hcs yet im making them slightly angsty

impact play

i think this might be a little self-explanatory, but yes, getting hit in a sexual context turns him on

only when he is receiving ofc

dom/sub dynamics

he's a massive sub and no one can tell me otherwise

its literally on the show TT

ANYWAY, he's probably bratty at first but then just gives in to your every demand because he aims to please

still likes to get on your nerves though, like a lot and i think thats because even when he's been an annoying piece of shit in bed you still take care of him and that reinforces, in his head, that, sure he's being unbearable but that doesn't take away the fact that you care for him and love him, ya know?

also, he would probably call you mommy/daddy at first jokingly but the it kinda sticks??

freud would have a field day with roman roy

OOC BUT FUN TO THINK ABOUT: vanilla sex

hear me out, ik roman's character is pretty much the personification of the words 'kinky mf' but idk

i think vanilla sex would suit roman SOO much. i think for roman to reach the point of having sex with ANYONE there needs to be a established foundation of trust and respect and perhaps love too

and i know sex doesn't necessarily mean love, but we are talking about a man who's definition of love is pain - like love HAS to hurt for it to be love - and undoubtedly he would twist his perception of sex to fit that same definition of love because love is a branch of intimacy and so is sex, you feel me?

i just feel like it would show roman another side of intimacy. all gentle and kind and giggly sex and intimacy doesn't necessarily have to hurt for it to feel good.

like imagine just plain vanilla sex and its banter and laughter and quips and help me lol

vanilla sex and aftercare would solve all his problems, i said what i said /hj

[fictionfixations]

rook vil convo in tartarus

Book 6 spoilers

(Off topic) going back through book 6 so i just. dont remember this line LMFAO EPEL

[Epel: Sheesh... This boy ain't right...]

anyway

Book 7 card spoilers (aka JP spoilers)

So you know how people have been pissed at Vil for somehow like. persuading rook to go to pomefiore???

do you not remember this conversation

[Vil: I tried to dissuade him when he first brought up transferring to me. But Rook cares not for the opinions of others once he decides something. Though you two already know that, right? [...] Before I knew it, the complicated paperwork and ceremonies were complete, and there he was, wearing a Pomefiore uniform.]

HE EVEN LIKES DRESSING UP (a conversation about how his experience watching was even better when he was dressed up for it)

[Rook: He even coordinated my entire ensemble. I don't think I'll ever forget the exaltation I felt when I set out for that play! I always delight in watching shows. But if I were to quantify my enjoyment and rate my prior experiences at 100... Then that day was easily 120! Perhaps even 200! Ever since then, I've developed an appreciation for personal care.]

pls dont treat rook like he can't make decisions for himself because he can. he easily could've pursued beauty still in savanaclaw, but he didn't want to because he wanted to see vil be even more beautiful with his help

its his choice to do it, and that means if he didn't like it he could've also just transferred back out and nothing vil would've said would convinced him otherwise

mkay???

[tonberry-yoda]

Cuddling with Wesker Headcanons

notes - I just did the one with Leon and now I feel like I have to do Wesker. LISTEN, I still don't know a lot about the man, but I know a bit and I'm gonna play re5 soon. This may not be the most in character Wesker, but I want to cuddle him, so that's what he gets for being in my brain lolol

b-broad shoulders (*drools cutely*)

this man will hold you in his arms and never let go

i feel like he doesnt care for spooning, but instead wants you cuddled on his chest

yeah that feels right

and like, he'll give you little forehead kisses when you're sleeping

will his admit this to any of you in the morning???

no

tee hee

run your fingers softly over his face and neck and down his chest to his abs and he belongs to you now

that's just how things work

call him pretty names while cupping his face

he'll act like he hates it, but come on

he needs you for warmth

he is shivering at night and will just press you against you and use you as a blanket LMFAO

ever night before you two fall asleep in each other's arms, he will always tell you something about how pretty you are with a drousy voice before dozing off

you dont care if he says it through a yawn, it means the world to you

play with his hair because it's already fallen out and messy before you two go to sleep, so playing with it more just makes him smile a bit and always helps him sleep faster

i feel like he has a problem with sleep unless you're there, so make this man pass out, it's one of your best qualities <3

he will always be gone when you wake up, but he won't stop thinking about cuddling you lol, you just have that effect <3

~~~~~

resident evil masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[noeasyisnoisy]

‼️TBB S3 FINALE SPOILERS‼️

why is the music ominous.

THE LOGO IS BLACK (did that happen before and i missed it?)

please tell me they won’t all die

this is terrifying

“guard the vault” THERE SO MANY OF THEM

OMG NALA SE

YES EMERIE‼️‼️‼️

yes omega they’re here but they’re not quite HERE yet 

oh god the times don’t line up

THE TIMES DONT LINE UP

SHES FKNNA ESCAPE AND NOBODY WILL BE THERE

OR SHES GONNA ESCAPE AS ECHOS GETTING THERE ISNT SHE

LMFAOOOOO THEY KNOCKED THAT BITCH OUR

isn’t that tunnel dangerous?? like omega almost got SMACKED a million times

they’re all force sensitive though so it makes sense

if wrecker passes out or smth they’re all screwed

OMG THE KIDS ARE OUT

TURN AROUND 

the fucking timing AHHDJFKFEHD

im so stressed

IF THAT BABY DOESNT SHUT UP

i’m sorry

i love kids but THIS ISNT THE TIME

OH FUCK THE ZILLO BEAST

HELP THAT CUT OFF (the zillo beast screaming and then emerie)

YALL SEE ECHO??

“the zillo’s loose!” echo: 🤨

ok at least emerie’s job is to find them

“omega.. she released the zillo” “how do you know that?” “because that’s exactly what i’d do.” STOP IT.

YOU KIDS BETTER FUCKING RUN

ECHO HUNTER CROSSHAIR HURRY

HIS HAND 💔

wrecker you’re not fine.

crosshair you can’t with your hand

clone force 99 is dead

i

i’m just

i’m gonna go cry now

CROSSHAIR YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOURE UP AGAINST

“it’s what i deserve” SHUT UP

“we do this together” YAAAAA

“echo’s handiwork? or omega’s?” “omega.” HELP

THE OPERATORS PLAYING

IS THAT TECH

I COULDNT TELL

holy fuck

THERES 4 OF THEM???

also hemlock looked so cool with the red lights and the smoke

HOLY FUCK THE 4 GUYS

that guy has to be tech because HES ALWAYS THE MAIN FOCUS

crosshair is you sacrifice yourself istg

HUNTER

NO

UR JOKING

HE DIDNT

HE CUT OFF HIS HAND??

NO FUCKING WAY

THEY GOT THEM

emerie and echo u need to start SPRINTING

OH FUCK

ECHO

YAYAYAYAY

THE HUG STOP ☹️

STOP TORTURING THEM

me bc hunter has heightened sense which means the electricity hurts even more than it already would

SHUT THE FUCK UP HEMLOCK

IF THEY KILL CROSSHAIR ISTG

STOP ELECTROCUTING HIM YOU FUCKING BASTARD

cry count: 2

the fact that nobody has plot armor is terrifying

YES OMEGA BREAK EVERYONE OUT

nala se’s gonna die isn’t she

RAMPART WHAT ARE YOU DOING

ughdhdh tarkin

TARKINS SHOWING UP???

i’m so scared

my heart is POUNDING

nala se what’re you up to queen

is rampart gonna kill her

NO FUCKING WAY

wrecker’s waking up

omega sees them

ok

we got this!!

THE POP UP WALLS HELLO?

cmon omega free them

WHY IS THAT GUY JS STANDING THERE

HOLY FUCK THEY STABBED HIM

oh shit she’s gonna die

HEMLOCK GET OUT

NONONONONONO THE GAS

rampart stfu

HE KILLED NALA SE

LMFAO HE DIED TOO

ok but tbb minus echo aren’t in the gas

YES WRECKER.

KILL THOSE HOES

NO HES TAKING OMEGA

HUNTER

YES WRECKERRR

DID HE JS KILL MAYBE TECH

ok so i guess it’s not tech

i’m crying again why the fuck am i crying

HEMLOCK LET GO OF HER

WHY ARE THE OPERATIVES NOT DYING

IM SO SCARED RN

CROSSHAIR

LET OMEGA GO YOU BITCH

ALSO WET HAIR HUNTER MEOWOWOWOWOW HES SO FINEEEE

stab him omega

you got this crosshair.

im bawling rn

YES

THAT WAS SO SMOOTH

now hug.

AWWW

i’m sobbing

THEY MADE IT

THEY DID IT

holy shit they left right as the empire got there

that’s actually terrifying

YESSSSS RESEARCH IS GONE

PROJECT STARDUST OMG

THE DEATHSTAR

THATS SO COOL

AWWW EMERIE ☹️

i’m sobbing again

THAT WAS SUCH A PERFECT ENDING

oh it’s not over

ADULT OMEGA

SHUT UP

GONKY

GRANDPA HUNTER

why is he such a dilf hello

sorry

“you’re our kid omega”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I CANT

TECHS GOGGLES

OK NOW THAT WAS THE PERFECT ENDING 

i’m gonna go type a paragraph 💔

[bazooka-overkill]

MR SANDMAN BRAINROT EUEUUUGGHHH

okay yay brainrot won the poll. also i might psot dragon chan headcanons requested by wallet becuz yaaaaaayyy

uhhh also i dont really gaf about timelines. so if something doesnt line up time wise. ignore it. shh

ermmm cw for child fighting!! mr sandman didnt have the best middle school experience

BAZOOKA'S THOUGHTS:

i need this man so badly PLS MR. SANDMAN ONE CHAAAAANCEEEE

who typed that omg…

GENERAL SANDMAN INFO (canon + headcanon)

full name: isaiah joseph banks

birthday: april 12th

age: 31

height: 6’5” (197 cm)

weight: 284 lbs (129 kg)

origin: philadelphia, PA, USA

gender: cis male

sexuality: bisexual (might be in denial lmao. men say theyre fighting demons and the demons r bisexuality LMFAO)

family:

victoria banks, mother, alive

george banks, father, alive

no siblings

HEAD CANON TIME:

- insomniac. goes between sleeping for 11 hrs during the day and not sleeping at ALL, also explains the eyebags in his TD

- incredibly horrible sleep schedule. stems from his childhood

- also stems from his childhood but not exactly the best at socializing w other people

- somehow is friends w glass joe. don't ask me how it works they just ARE (and they may be a little. fruity.)

- has one of those light up squishy things that u hit to change the color. yeah he either fucking SLAMS that thing or gently pats it when he wants to change it. it’s a bunny for anyone curious

- goes thru the 5 min nap to the 5 hour nap pipeline. “oh im just gonna take a small nap,” then wakes up w the blankets all over the fucking room, the god damn windows r open, he’s somehow upside down, etc etc

- him and the ref have beef after his TD victory animation

- was one of those kids that would be on his knees near some mulch playing w the roly polies on the playground. he'd have like 20 in his palms in 5 minutes

- if u catch him right when he wakes up (like. RIGHT right when he wakes up) he accidentally calls people “baby.” it’s a habit he picked up from his mom and he’s pushed it back into his mind, but it slips when he isn’t exactly thinking (totally not projecting my own habits onto him guys)

- adding to the above that the person who originally found this out was glass joe. take that as you will

- he sends some of his boxing money to his parents to support them (he’s a mamas boy LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE)

- doesn’t exactly search for a relationship, believes that when he decides he’s ready for one the right person will find him

- gets dragged into world circuit outings by either super macho man or aran ryan. on the rare occasion it’ll be soda. one time they all went bowling and sandman watched aran ryan throw a bowling ball like a fucking baseball and it broke the ceiling

- knows how to make a MEAN philly cheese steak. will be mentally freak out (positively) if someone mentions they’ve never had one before. if he wasn’t so stoic he would be jumping up and down and going “YAAAAAYYYYY🎉🎉🎉” becuz he finally gets an excuse to make one for someone

- has 100% almost broken the world circuit ring's ropes (see his intermission animation in contender)

- his locker in the locker rooms is either completely spotless or dented to hell and back. bonus points if theres like. a fake succulent in there or some shit

- luvs animals. takes pics of cool animals he sees anywhere

origin backstory thing under cur bc its long

origin:

isaiah joseph banks, known as his boxing alias mr. sandman, was born on april 12th to victoria banks and george banks in the Doylestown Hospital. born to loving parents, isaiah grew up as an only child.

isaiah learned to keep to himself and care for himself very early on, as both of his parents were usually at work. they worked hard to provide for isaiah and themselves, but always put their son first. they

the time they spent at work would be made up at home, albeit this time could never be fully made up for a young isaiah. he had spent more time with babysitters and nannies than his own parents. of course, isaiah knew his parents loved him, but all the bonds that were supposed to be formed hadn’t; the time frame had passed.

the time they did spend together was… memorable, really. not in a bad way, but every moment— every waking minute— made isaiah into the man he is today.

every night, when his mother was home early enough, she would sing him a soft lullaby. when she wasn’t, his mother had recorded this lullaby onto a tape for him to listen to. this lullaby was the song that made mr. sandman: Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes. it wasn’t a typical children’s lullaby by any means, but by god he loves that song— present tense intended.

then, a problem arose: school. starting middle school is one thing, but isaiah found out how cruel children could be.

isaiah was big, to put it lightly. five foot six at age 12 was enough ground for bullying, and being dropped off by a few different babysitters/nannies in the morning only added to the ammunition.

with how big he was, the bullying never went farther than verbal harassment. soft giggling every time he talked in class, glances from across the classroom, the bullying was subtle except for the occasional direct blow to isaiah.

his boxing interest began when he was thirteen, where his parents enrolled him in a self defense class that revolved around boxing and the sort. they had found out about the bullying from the babysitters, as isaiah had been reporting what they had been saying to him. there, young isaiah learned the basics of boxing: dodging, punching, and jabs had been added to his arsenal.

isaiah had always relished in the safety of knowing that he’d never get attacked at school, but unfortunately this was false.

it was brutal really; the poor boy had been caught in the bathroom and was attacked from behind, slammed his face into the sink, and assaulted from there. it took around two minutes for teachers to hear the commotion, but they were two minutes too late.

there, isaiah was brought to the hospital. no one truly knows the full extent of his injuries, minus his parents. if you look closely at mr. sandman, his top teeth are a little crooked.

nothing exactly eventful happened other than he moved schools, and everything was smooth from there.

his boxing career began to take off when he was 17, when he met an old babysitter of his— one who had taken care of him up until he was 13. he had become a boxing coach and offered to take isaiah up as a student.

if you ever ask mr. sandman in an interview about his boxing idol, he’d most likely say his coach. that man taught him nearly everything he knows, and even taught him the dreamland express move that mr. sandman is most known for, albeit modified.

mr. sandman picked up his alias when his coach told him about the WVBA and their boxers. it was almost inevitable he’d choose mr. sandman in honor of his mother.

he had his first fight at age 18, where it went swimmingly well. records of this fight have been lost to time, but, according to word of mouth, mr. sandman nearly killed the poor man.

i gotta be honest w u all idk how to continue this. umm mr sandman meets a wvba recruiter and then uh yah.😁😁😁