#i maybe shouldve just put a box around that whole text
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#trans#bocchi#trans bocchi#today in chiral posts trans bocchi#I got the bocchi manga and opened to a random page and it's a sign#i maybe shouldve just put a box around that whole text#but i wanted to emphasize that line break
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- ; CHRIS STURNIOLO ; -
' experimenting ' - requested.
✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪
- ; warnings - use of toys, plot(?), smut, established relationships , mutual masturbation,
- ; 11:13 am
you and chris left the house early this morning before matt and nick had even opened their eyes.
usually, you and chris would sleep later than them considering the nights you had together.
but no, last night you two went to sleep extremely early as your morning plans would require you to.
because in the afternoon while you were at work you received a text from your boyfriend.
and this lead to where you are now.
in a sex shop.
in downtown LA.
at 11:30 in the morning.
- ; 11:28 am
"chris if you get a boner from those sex dolls we are leaving."
"too late."
although he was joking, you still shot him a look.
but he didnt look back.
instead, he was looking at the large array of vibrators infront of you two.
"what are you thinking?" he asked, looking at you attentively.
"of you fucking me with one of these." you turned your head and looked up at him innocently.
"i meant what kind of vibrator are you thinking of getting dumb a-"
"is there anything in specific you two are looking for?" a voice chimed in before chris could finish his retort.
it was a store employee with purple hair and a face adorned with peircings whose name tag read "sapphire"
"im just looking for something to make my girl feel good." chris answered way too casually.
you again, shot him a look, but his eyes were locked onto 'sapphire'
"well, we have a lot of that here!" she laughed awkwardly.
you cracked a smile back.
chris stayed expressionless before saying, "well do you recommend anything for first timers?"
how the fuck is he so casual about this? you thought.
"i think i have just the thing! its on the pricier side.. so let me know if you want something cheaper!"
sapphire then walked to the back of the store where you heard the rustling of boxes.
"damn that bitch talks a lot." you whispered
chris giggled at your remark before the purple haired girl came back with a fairly large box labled: inspiring vibrating wand: powerful vibrations
the box was about a foot tall with a long black well, wand, on the front. it had a bright orange label that had '149.99' on it.
intimated by the large thing, you looked at chris, who was smirking and shaking his head in delight.
"we'll take it." he said like he had done this a million times before.
"alright, perfect! meet me over at the register." sapphire walked over to the counter.
"chris!" you whispered sharply. "thats too expensive!"
you tugged on his hoodie to prevent him from waking over to the counter.
he stopped walking and turned around"hey, anything to make my girl feel good, alright?"
you couldn't help it but get red in the face at this.
you obliged and followed him to the register, thinking about what was to come.
- ; 11:44 am
the ride home was excruciating.
you pressed your thighs together as you thought of how your new item would be used.
"you alright, baby?" chris put his hand on your thigh, not taking his eyes off of the road.
you squirmed impatiently under his touch
"i might have to you the wand on you right when you get home, huh?"
-; 12:00 pm
you entered chris's room and sat on his bed.
chris walked in a few moments later, the box in hand.
he immediately sat down next to you and started opening it up.
he pulled out an instruction manual first, "damn they have a whole instruction manual for this bitch? maybe we shouldve gotten something different.."
you laughed. "it's probably just how to clean it or some shit."
"oh, then we will definitely need that." he looked up at you and smiled, gaining an ego boost after saying that.
you smacked his hand playfully.
then he took out the wand and clicked the button to the highest setting.
the head of it wirred loudly, which startled the both of you.
chris quickly turned it off and laughed, he tried to pretend he wasn't thinking about overstimulating your dripping cunt with it.
but, his manhood gave him away.
"we might just have to use this now." chris said playfully as he discarded the box onto the floor, leaving 6 inches between you and chris.
"but chris" you were cut off by a sloppy kiss on the lips from chris.
he pushed you down on the bed hovering over you, kissing you.
when you finally caught your breath you spoke, "what if matt and nick hear?"
"pfft. they wont be up for at least another 2 hours."
you giggled and resumed sloppily kissing.
lips still interlocked, chris moved to the side so you could take your sweatpants off, and you did the same for him.
the kiss lasted a few more minutes before chris could bear it anymore, and he took his boxers off.
you broke the kiss so you could look at his soaking member.
he stroked it a few times before picking up the wand.
you swallowed, it burned.
he turned it on the second lowest setting and pressed it against your cunt.
"mmh.." you let out a small moan in response.
chris moved the vibrator up and down your clothed pussy.
his cock twitched as he could visibly see how turned on you were by this.
and although you were extremely stimulated by the wand, his aching cock didnt go unnoticed by you.
you grabbed the wand from chris's hand, signaling for him to take off your panties.
he happily obliged to this, taking them off with his teeth, which grazed you as he did so.
he lowered his tounge down onto your pussy, licking it.
you shuddered.
he licked your pussy again, this time with more strength.
he licked again and again and again until he couldnt help himself from sucking.
you moaned loudly.
your hand was getting sore from holding the vibrator, so you brought it down and rested it against chris's leaking tip.
"fuck." he moaned into your pussy, sending vibrations up your core.
this went on for a few more moments until chris's hips started to shudder, and your breathing became more rapid.
chris sat up, taking the vibrator off of its resting place on his dick, and bringing it up to your pussy.
he stroked his cock at the sight of your cunt, and you convulsing.
as much as you were enjoying this, you still wanted to help chris, so you grabbed the base of his cock and moved his own hand off of it, jerking him off.
"oh yeah baby- fuck- just like that" he moaned out as the pace of your strokes increased, focusing on his tip.
you could tell he was getting close.
with he free hand he stuck two fingers into your pussy. curling them perfectly and they explored you.
but with the sight of your boyfriend jerking into your hand, vibrator which was now at the highest setting assaulting your cunt, the feeling you knew all too well crept up on you sooner than expected.
"fuck- chris im cumming!" you screamed, the pleasure washed over your whole body in waves.
you came all over his fingers, the movement of your hand on his cock become sloppy.
this was enough for chris to let out a long moan "shit- me too-"
he came all over your cunt, and the vibrator.
your breathing, although heavy, became synchronized with his.
"i guess we are gonna need that cleaning manual huh?"
--------------------------------------------------------
i have no fucken clue where i got this motivation to write so.. this took me like an hour tff😱
#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#nick sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#sturniolos#sturniolo triplets x reader#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#chris stunriolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader smut#sub matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo smut#nicolas sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo x reader smut#nicolas sturniolo x reader
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Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2
Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”
Main Chat
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE
Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.
Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”
Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY
HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY
WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY
WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER
BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”
THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO
Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.
Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.
Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE
MOSTLY
SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID
Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.
Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE
Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.
Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?
Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU
Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.
Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS
Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”
Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?
Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.
Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.
Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)
An hour later…
Main Chat
Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.
Wu Xie: guys???
Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING
IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF
Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.
Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE
Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??
I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.
Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW
STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND
ITS GONNA BE OKAY
DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS
DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS
Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.
Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY
THIS AINT ABOUT THEM
YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY
THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS
UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?
Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?
Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.
Wang Pangzi: WU XIE
TIANZHEN
PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE
Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.
Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.
Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE
WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN
Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.
Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.
Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK
Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.
Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR
I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF
Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.
Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION
Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.
Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM
Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.
Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE
YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY
Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.
Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT
Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.
Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT
THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS
ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??
At the same time…
Bonnie and Clyde Chat
Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.
Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two
or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way
Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.
Hei Yangjing: r u kidding
he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me
Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.
Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation
Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context
I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?
The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.
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golden sun (chaos mode hack) part 4: Isaac cannot resist.
so now that sand dollar lady is in place, we can push the statue on the tile (and strike a pose) but safely this time
yes, that certainly is what just took place
how exactly are you going to--
aaaaand he's gone
AM I SUPPOSED TO "WAIT OVER THERE" OR "HANDLE THE REST”
(man look at those tiles in the middle, that is some really nice pixel art)
this is the slowest lp in the world
wooo
things i thought was weird about this game when i was 11: kraden saying "Sol" and "Luna" instead of "the sun" and "the moon" i mean obviously i knew that that's what "sol" and "luna" mean, but he's saying them like people's names ("a picture of Luna")?? there doesnt... really seem to be a reason for this? i dont remember the sun and moon being referred to like that anywhere else in the game
by the way, what exactly is supposed to be happening with that laser? it's coming up from the floor, but... hitting the wall
????? 2d video game overworld perspective is really weird tbh
LET ME LEVEL GRIND, KRADEN
so if you touch the wall (or talk to it, depending on what you think the A button does) a portal appears
...which lifts you up and voips you away. but stays open. GOOD THING THERE ARENT ANY THIEVES FOLLOWING US OR ANYTHING
...and we end up here. (the portal also appears to have shrunk isaac's sprite a bit. wh...oops...?)
(fyi: for some reason this game's world is flat. so he does actually literally mean "the end of the world".) (...and "endless water", since it all falls off the edge but doesnt run out. dont ask me how that works. maybe it's like a fountain?)
....humans are made of fire?????????
kraden: "as i have told you many times--" (tells us again anyway)
jfc he's starting to sound like my dad also you absolutely couldve fit that last part into one text box, come ON
i really, really wish i could capture these emoji word balloons because
kraden: ❤️ jenna: 😟
YES. "MANY TIMES", IN FACT.
GARET WHY
so after telling us how powerful and dangerous these stones are... and how with just one you could conquer the entire world... and how it would be REALLY BAD if they were to fall into the wrong hands...
...kraden wants us to bring them over here for him to examine. ok
all of them. all four of them. im pretty sure this is exactly why no one is allowed in here.
OKAY THANK YOU KRADEN
[each time you take a star, there’s a short earthquake, and more pillars rise up out of the water. this allows you access to the next star.]
UH, TAKING THAT CAUSED A SMALL EARTHQUAKE, THIS IS PROBABLY A BAD IDEA
CANT YOU JUST EXAMINE ONE, ISNT THAT GOOD ENOUGH
YOURE NOT HELPING
three hours and we're still stuck in the fucking prologue. fortunately we're almost done, probably
incidentally, did you know you can change the color of the text boxes in this game?
.... i cant make it the same color as steroidusr :(
anyway back to collecting these extremely dangerous world-destroying artifacts for funsies
UH-OH! NOBODY SAW THIS TWIST COMING
(i figured out how to cap all those adorable little emoji balloons, thanks to the miracle of save states. youre welcome.)
im pretty sure we'd have to hop through here to get to the last one, but....
unlike us, who only meant to simply borrow all of them at once, which surely would have no repercussions
how dare you overhear the plans we were loudly discussing nearby your house! ...and to you, at your house. wait what
hey it's the third dude who was with them who we only know about through optional and easily-missable conversations
...i just realized saturos has a blue undercut. too bad they dont have blogs in weyard.....
what if we just... gently put all the stars back. golden sun solved
so, uh.... if youre gonna have a dramatic "i thought you were dead" reveal you probably shouldnt have it this early in the game
like this is clearly meant to be an emotional scene, but we never got any time to actually, like... get attached to felix? which couldve still worked if we'd gotten time for Green Mask Guy to develop instead, and establish him as our enemy, or something then, plot twist, he was jenna's brother all along! ... which would work even better if we kept jenna around and she didnt get kidnapped like, have them kidnap garet or something, idk, jenna's a fire adept too so she could easily fill that party role anyway this way the Big Reveal would have way much more impact, and--
oh ok
yes, we definitely shouldve let garet get kidnapped instead
oh right, there's a fourth one too. alex does almost nothing of value through the entire game, yet somehow by the end he's the most important character ever, despite still having done almost nothing of value. he's also in the third game. he's still useless.
what do you mean "oh great", you were just about to hand them over anyway
are you guys, like, allergic to these things??? like you cant hold them yourselves if theyre not in bags????
YOU CAN FLY. YOU ARE FLYING RIGHT NOW. NO, I DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!
also, yes, the only way to the mars star is through here. so until we got it, they were planning to "hide", out in the open, in a place we would soon be walking through, right in front of the path we'd be coming to that place through
you guys couldnt have, like, waited back in the sanctum to ambush us or something? no? no. of course not.
WELL, YES,
also, shockingly, that star is never actually getting to that merry band of thieves. sorry for spoiling such an amazing twist.
--where it will stay, taking up an inventory slot, useless, for the entire game.
fun fact: golden sun, like the first generation of pokemon games, has no key item slot. we all remember how that went in engreen... also, each character has a separate inventory, which other characters cant access. so if, for example, you have four herbs, you can either stack them all in one character's inventory, or spread them out among everyone. if you want to save inventory space, the first option seems the most reasonable... until the guy holding all the herbs dies in battle.
................i miss etrian odyssey
oh also the cave is collapsing now and we're all going to die
(does a thing) uh-oh! that fucked everything up! how could this happen! (does exact same thing three years later) uh-oh! that fucked everyth
WHO'S THAT POKEMON?
:(
anyway this guy's important, and he saves us later, but also tries to get us killed by a dragon for some reason?
he also blinks more than any documented living creature in the universe, as evidenced by these screencaps
how the fuck are you planning to get the mars star then
YEAH NO KIDDING
WELL WE DEFINITELY WILL BE IF WE KEEP STANDING AROUND TALKING ABOUT IT
THAT'S WHAT IM TRYING TO TELL HIM
hey, you know what a good place for this text box would be? right up there, completely obscuring the fucking speaker "uh, there's plenty of space there in the bottom corner--" "RIGHT. UP. THERE."
oh man ok alright here it comes
i fucking love golden sun
If the Elemental Stars ignite the flames of the four lighthouses, that power will be released. As long as the four lighthouses remain unlit...
im not sure why he's leaving out the part about the world eroding and inevitably being destroyed if alchemy doesnt get released? (minor details, i guess)
"seriously, there arent any characters over there at all, we could easily--" "COVER THAT FUCKER UP"
so he teleports us back to the sanctum. what a nice floating roc--
garet youre kind of a dick
i guess all the monsters evacuated, because no battles are happening. goodbye, experience points....
(there's an eruption. the mountain is erupting. youll have to take our word for it.)
"multiple times, actually. those googly-eye mushrooms are vicious"
WHY ARE THEY JUST CASUALLY STROLLING OUT OF AN EXTREMELY DANGEROUS ERUPTING VOLCANO
I CHOSE "YES” AS A JOKE BUT THEY ACTUALLY START TO CASUALLY STROLL RIGHT BACK UP
mom will you please stop being such a negative nancy
im not sure garet "what's an ocean" lastname even realizes other towns exist
The elemental lighthouses will loose that power upon the world. Once the power of the gems has been released, the whole world will...
i see the wise one is omitting that one li'l detail about alchemy actually being a good thing again
"the entire world could be completely destroyed" "darn :///"
"we cant wait around for someone to save us. isaac, go save us"
well, it's been quite a ride, but that's it for golden sun! if you enjoyed this livetweet, make sure to like, comment and fol--
-----siiiiigh.
we're fucked.
"SWEET JESUS GARET THAT'S NOT AN ORANGE, YOURE EATING THE MARS STAR"
anyway isaac's mom is disowning her son until he saves the world or whatever, but not before having this delivered to him
JUST LEAVE, GET OUT OF HERE
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