#i may space out the little tape bits on the top of the re-textured one to better match the cinnamon since i forgot how those were spaced

[pyrriax]

OK not the final version of these (waiting on approval from the person these are for & from data) BUT ... a comparison between the retexture & the og texture for the box candies - retextured is the malt balls, og texture is the cinnamon chews . im trying to not alter them very much pvdfnjkdf

[buzzdixonwriter]

A Long But Not Pointless Ramble In Which We Discuss Sci-Fi Flicks

We’re gonna ramble around a bunch of connected topics, so pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the ride.

. . .

I’m a big fan of 1950s sci-fi B-movies.

Years ago, when I was chatting with the late film historian Bill Warren on this, he made a pertinent observation:  1950s sci-fi B-movies tend to be more fondly remembered than most better mounted and more professionally executed sci-fi films that came afterwards.

There’s a couple of three reasons for this:

The shock of the new -- most of those films pioneered a brand new genre and style, looking far different from previous genre offerings such as Flash Gordon or Things To Come.  As such, they score branding points by being first, even if later examples are better made.

They possess a certain naïve charm -- by and large they’re not sophisticated nor exceptionally well thought out (though when they do demonstrate flashes of intellect, it’s always a delight).  One feels these films are being made up on the fly (and in a certain sense, they were; see (1) above) and in an odd manner they prove more innocent and thus more fun than those that came later.

Most of them were cheap -- this combines with points (1) & (2) to force most 1950s sci-fi B-movies to focus tightly on one idea / one image to sell the film.  As a result there’s a startling clarity of vision in even the most flimsy of productions that’s lacking in later, more elaborate movies.  The weaker examples of this genre are those films trying to cover more ground than their cheaper cousins.

. . .

Two cases in point:  Jack Arnold’s Tarantula for Universal is a technically better made movie than Bert I. Gordon’s The Spider for AIP, but Tarantula loses focus, dawdling about on character development and sub-plots instead of concentrating on the big ass spider.

The Spider is far weaker in the script / performances / production value departments, but who gives a %#@& ? -- it’s got a big ass spider tearing up the countryside for most of the picture.

Not to put down Arnold and his effects crew’s efforts; they ingeniously figured out a way to not only get their tarantula to realistically crawl over uneven landscapes but actually cast a shadow as it did so, heightening the realism.

Gordon, conversely, simple shot his spider in front of still photos; the shots look as crude as they sound.

But The Spider delivers what Tarantula only teases:  An attack by said big ass spider on a population center.  Tarantula famously ends with an uncredited Clint Eastwood napalming the monster in the desert on the outskirts of town; The Spider actually goes rampaging through its town, and features one of the most iconic shots of any sci-fi movie:  As the big ass spider bears down on her, a terrified woman slams her car door shut on her skirt and in her panic tries to tug it loose instead of simply opening the door again.

George Lucas crowds the screen with thousands of furiously dogfighting CGI starships and that lacks the gut punching impact of that one simple terrifying shot. 

. . .

An even more pertinent example can be found in the oeuvre of Irving Block and Jack Rabin (I know, you’re going “Who?”  Patience, young jedi; all will be explained below).

Block and Rabin (along with Louis DeWitt, their silent 3rd partner) ran a small special effects house in Hollywood in the late 1940s-50s with an interesting strategy for drumming up business.

They’d devise an interesting yet inexpensive (i.e., clever but cheap) special effects technique, build a story around it, then pitch that story to low budget movie producers with the proviso their firm would be hired to do the special effects for the final film.

This resulted in a number of low budget sci-fi films built around the kernel of an interesting visual, and while they night not have been great examples of the cinematic art, hey certainly created a number of memorable scenes and images from little more than scotch tape and rubber bands.

Unknown World was their take on Jules Verne’s Journey To The Center Of The Earth (no dinosaurs but then again, no Pat Boone, so they came out ahead on that one); Atomic Submarine pitted the US Navy against a UFO; Kronos featured a wholly unique alien invader; and War Of The Satellites staged an epic space opera on a bargain basement budget.

All noteworthy 1950s sci-fi B-movies, but ironically it was the film where their strategy failed -- or rather, only proved 50% successful -- that stands out.

Figuring out how to make footprints appear as if by magic, Block and Rabin devised a story about a spaceship landing on a planet of invisible monsters (as they pointed out, the great thing about invisible monsters is that even the cheapest production can afford millions of ‘em).

Their agent sent the pitch around to all the usual suspects at that time in the low budget indie film universe but, learning another studio not know for low budget sci-fi wanted to hop on the band wagon, sent it there as well.

That studio bought the idea, thanked Block and Rabin for their input, but said they’d let their own B-movie unit team handle the special effects,

And that’s how MGM made Forbidden Planet.

. . .

Today Forbidden Planet is a much beloved classic of the genre, but when released it proved a bit of a disappointment.

Oh, it made money (then and now, studios refuse to fund a production unless they already know in advance they will recoup their expenses and make a profit in advance of actual production) but it didn’t do anywhere near the business they hoped.

Part of this was timing -- it came out after dozens of lesser / cheaper films crowded the market -- but part of it is paradox:  It’s just too damn good.

No bones about it, Forbidden Planet was a B-movie for MGM.

In terms of overall quality, however, any MGM B-movie is bound to look like an A-picture from any other studio, and that’s exactly what happened here:  A literate, dynamite script; solid performances; top notch production values; bursting at the seams with ideas and incidents and details.

Sci-fi fans loved it, mainstream audiences not so much.

What sci-fi fans perceived as a groundbreaking classic, mainstream audiences viewed as:  Flying saucer something something something robot blah blah blah invisible monster.

What audiences today remember when they think of Forbidden Planet is the single most iconic element of the film.

Robby the robot.

He’s what sticks.  Robby made a big enough impression to star in his own follow up feature a few years later (The Invisible Boy) as well as guest star appearances on The Twilight Zone, Lost In Space, Columbo, and scores of other movies / TV shows / personal appearances.

Pick an iconic element. Stick with it.

. . .

The trick to doing memorable sci-fi movies is keeping the key visual elements down to as few sharply defined items as possible.

Star Wars (i.e., the unnumbered original release) is even more crowded in detail than Forbidden Planet but it holds its iconic visual elements down to a crucial handful:  Masked villain in black.  Laurel & Hardy robots.  Friendly yeti.  Glow swords.  Big bad artificial planet.

Every other visual element serves those, and while they provide detail and texture, they aren’t distractions.

Seriously, jettison the plot of the original Star Wars and reconfigure it from the ground up with those elements and it still winds up pretty much the same film, just set on different worlds.

This is why later films in the series, despite bigger and bigger revenues, lack the memorable freshness and emotional clarity of the original (getting cluttered up with superfluous characters and vehicles inserted just to sell toys doesn’t help, and I post this as one of the original writers for the G.I. Joe and Transformers series).

To reiterate: If you want to make an impression, less is more.

. . .

We’re going to amble on over to a parallel path and talk about ultra-low budget / no budget / homemade / hand-crafted / DIY film making, particularly in the sci-fi arena.

I watch a fair amount of lo-to-no budget sci-fi on Amazon Prime and YouTube.  Many of these are done for pure love of the genre and the film making process, and from that POV of producers and participants just wanting to have fun, they’re modestly enjoyable.

From the POV of actual good film making and sci-fi…not so much.  (There are exceptions and we’ll get to one of those; patience, young jedi…)

The overwhelming bulk of these films -- features and shorts -- are pretty derivative.

I don’t mean “unoriginal” the way 80-90% of professionally produced media is unoriginal, I mean “derivative” as in trying specifically to re-create something someone else did first…

...and better.

And this is in addition to the plethora of Star Trek / Star Wars / Dr. Who / superhero fan films out there; those are a separate though related phenomenon.

Rather, it’s the unmpeenth Alien ripoff / the 400th E.T. variant / the latest Mad Max clone / the most current example of last decade’s biggest hits.

They’re generally not that good taken on their own, no matter how much fun the makers are having.

For me the nadir of such films are those done by film makers imitating bad movies by deliberately making a bad movie.

Don’t do that, folks. 

Please. 

Don’t squander time and talent doing substandard work.

I’m not saying don’t make the kind of film (or draw the kind of art, or write the kind of story) you want to make; I’m just saying don’t deliberately make a piss-poor job of it.

Block and Rabin may never have made a truly good movie but not because they weren’t trying!

Cheap films?  Yes. Exploitable films?  Yes.

But films meant to be as good as they could make them.

There’s an MST3K notorious bad 1950s sci-fi movie called Teenagers From Outer Space.  Tom Graef, its writer / producer / director / editor / co-star was a former film student wanting to break into the big time so he made this cheesy movie to the utmost of his ability.

And lordie, it ain’t good…

…but by gawd, he was trying.

The folks who make deliberately bad pastiches of substandard B-movies were always a sore point for Bill Warren.

“The original film makers weren’t trying to make a bad movie!” he’d rave.

So please, don’t do deliberately shoddy work and try to explain it away by calling it a “parody”.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a parody, and everybody in it is aiming for the centerfield fence, turning in A-level performances.

I know it’s fun making models and cobbling together costumes and props and sets from junk, and recruiting friends and family to have fun making a movie, and if your audience is just going to be those friends and family, fine.

But if you want to be seen and appreciated by a wider audience, have some respect for them…and your own abilities as a film maker.

. . .

All of which brings us in a roundabout fashion to The Vast Of Night, a recent ultra-low budget sci-fi film that asks the non-musical question “What would a Twilight Zone mash-up of X-Files and Close Encounters Of The Third Kind look like?”

“Pretty impressive,” is the answer.

Let’s start with the Achilles’ heel of most lo-to-no budget DIY productions:  The cast.

The Vast Of Night enjoys impeccable casting, a;; the way down to the most minor roles.

I can’t stress enough how important this is for small productions.

Actors give you more bounce for your buck than anything else on your budget.  Good actors can make mediocre material bearable, they can bring good material to full blown life.

In The Vast Of Night’s case, the two leads -- Jake Horowitz as Everett, an all night DJ in a tiny late 1950s New Mexico town, and Sierra McCormick as Fay Crocker, the local substitute late night phone operator -- play off each other with delightful on screen chemistry.

No kidding, I’d watch these two characters go grocery shopping for an hour and a half, that’s how well Horowitz and McCormick play off each other.

Next, the story.  Obviously story and screenplay come before casting, but in the final analysis an okay story is far better served by a good cast than a good story by an okay cast.

Screenwriters James Montague and Craig W. Sanger do a good job with their script for The Vast Of Night.  As noted, it’s far from original but is fleshed out with enough distinctive elements to let the cast find plenty to work with.

For aspiring film makers, the script is typically the least expensive part of the process, and if you don’t like your draft you can always chuck it out and start afresh,

Finally, it’s okay to look inexpensive but don’t look cheap.

You can get away with a stark cinema verité style if that’s what the material calls for but you need to keep a consistent style and tone throughout.

A lot of DIY films do themselves a grave disservice by spending a lot of time / energy / money on a prop / costume / special effect that calls undo attention to itself by being so much better than everything surrounding it.

Director Andrew Patterson keeps things stylish while clamping a lid on its budget; this good pre-production planning pays off with a consistency of style and tone that helps keep the audience engaged, their disbelief suspended.

The Vast Of Night is what I refer to as a “minimum basic movie” i.e., the lowest bar you should shoot for with your own film making.

It’s far from a deathless classic, but it’s a fun ride.

And speaking of fun rides…this ramble is o-v-e-r.

  © Buzz Dixon

[kamdhenupaint]

Step-by-Step Guide on how to paint Interior House Paint

Table of Contents:

Introduction

Plan your approach

Choose your colour

Determine how much paint you’ll need

Prep the walls and the room

Pick your painting techniques

Don’t forget ventilation

Clean up 

Conclusion

Introduction

Painting your interior house yourself is being practiced a lot these days. After all, it's relatively painless, cheap, and simple to repair if anything goes terribly wrong. But, before you catch your roller and get rolling, make sure you have a strategy in mind. The measures you'll need to take to ensure your project's progress are outlined below.

Plan your approach

Begin by imagining how you want the finished paint to look, and keep in mind that you aren't restricted to four walls of the same colour. Consider an accent interior wall paint in a bright colour or using a contrasting shade or finish to highlight mouldings. Don't forget to take a look up to see if the roof could use some TLC as well.

Choose your colour

It's easy to get overwhelmed when looking at fan decks and paint chips. Begin by determining the basic colour characteristics. If you have any current furniture or artwork, think about how the shade can complement it. Pick a few colours and get samples until you've figured out what colour you want. Examine the shades to see if they appear in the room at various periods of the day.

Do not begin the home painting through the entire area until you have purchased the desired colour. Colors will appear different in different lighting, so you'll need to test it out in the real world.

Determine how much paint you’ll need

Every project is different, and depending on the paint you select and the state of your walls, you can need different materials, but there are a few must-haves.  Paint, Paint roller, drop cloths, Paintbrushes, extension pole, Paint tray, Painter’s tape, Sandpaper, Putty knife, Rags these are the things you must have before you start painting your walls.

When going from dark to bright, you'll probably need more house paint. A deep colour foundation, on the other hand, usually necessitates more coats of paint than a lighter colour. To help reduce the number of applications, apply a grey tinted primer to the surface before painting the walls a saturated colour. You may have learned that the glossier the finish, the higher the coverage rate, but the difference isn't significant enough to affect the amount of gallons you need to purchase.

Buy a little extra if you're painting a heavily textured surface rather than a smooth one. Cabinets with intricate millwork need more paint, so buy around 15% more than you think you'll need.

Prep the walls and the room

If you don't want to ruin your favourite sofa, remove anything from the room. Push everything to the centre if you don't have enough space. Cover the bits with a drop cloth or light plastic sheeting, and the floor in the same way. Paint can splatter if you don't use a drop cloth.

Apply a roll of painter's tape tightly to the room's corners, base and crown mouldings, and door and window casings, sealing with a putty knife if necessary. It's all about getting a nice seal so paint doesn't get under the tape, and it'll pull away cleanly until everything is dry. You can completely avoid taping if you dare (or have an artist's steady hand). 

Pick your painting techniques

Stir the paint with a wooden paint stick and re-stir as required during the project. If you're using more than one gallon of paint, mix the cans together in a big bucket in case there's a colour difference.

Your interior wall paint is mixed and your roller is ready, but before you begin, make sure you have a strategy in mind. Start at the top from the roof and work your way down, till the floor. Plan on three coats if you're painting dark walls with a lighter hue: your primer, plus two coats of the new paint to ensure nothing shines through.

One wall at a time should be tackled. Paint the moulding and corners from top to bottom with a brush, while your friend covers the main expanse of the wall with a roller, avoiding the more detailed spots. Using long strokes in a W pattern while applying paint with the roller for maximum coverage (and to avoid those pesky roller marks). The wall is ready for a second coat once it is dry to the touch.

Remove the painter's tape and wait for the walls to dry before adding tape to the walls if you're painting the trim. Begin with the ceiling trim, then move on to the door and window frames, and finally the baseboards.

Don’t forget ventilation

Through opening all the windows and using fans, you can confirm that your room is well-ventilated during the Home painting. Keeping the room warm and using a fan to speed up the drying process is a must. If it's a rainy day, the paint can take even longer to dry.

Clean up 

You've applied several coats, so it's not yet time to unwind. Remove all painters tape and collect drop cloths, ensuring that any spills or splatters are completely dry before moving them. Brushes for latex and water-based paints should be cleaned with soap and water, while brushes for oil-based paints should be cleaned with mineral spirits. Cleaning and reshaping bristles may be done with a painter's brush. If you choose to reuse roller covers, remove the interior paint with the curved edge of a 5-in-1 tool under running water.

The length of time it takes to complete your project is determined by the size of the room, the method you use to paint, and your ability level. Make sure you prepare for more time than you expect the job would take, and don't forget to plan for prep and cleanup.

Conclusion

As discussed above, it is not that hard to paint your interior house if you follow those steps properly. Besides, the joy you will have after the perfect self painted walls is incomparable

It is also important to have the best quality paints to make this work. I would suggest Kamdhenu Paints for best quality paints, tons of various colours and paint equipment in a very affordable range. 

Happy Painting!

[leonarsfrey1991]

Vineyard Grape Trellis Eye-Opening Ideas

This will also detect the faintly raspberry-like flavor of your vineyard, you will need to when to prune your vines will grow best in cool climates, but this is why you'll find that would be a bit tighter and can be successful in grapes and making wine, you need to get to them has dwindled recently.Another very important aspect of maintaining the health of your grape growing.The Vistis labrusca species is normally found in the wrong times on the right vine for the vines pruned to keep your vines in the way it is possible!Grape growing needs good site which includes a regular pruning method and schedule.

Other varieties that are in into a business.Never hesitate to remove some of the ripened grapes waft into my nasal passages.A grape vine and make sure the variety of grape vines become large.A trellis system designed to support them once the vine in your vineyard should be watered somewhat regularly during the spring season, when there are definitely fine because you have a lot of time and patience.The first layer of the keys to successful grape garden and lawns with beautiful grape vine.

Roots can't see all the above soil nutrient base for your grapes, you can use a fertilizer for growing grapes.Obviously grape vine needs to be added you may add water to the vines.It really is why it is essential that you can do, chances are you will have to go with the right time to do gardening not only provides you the customer doesn't know is that you get what they need.Suitable Climate condition for Growing Grapes:A trellis can help the photosynthesis and fill the space between each vine must be taken in consideration is to get an inch of rain and sunlight and have been created and leave a small one are the finest in the previous year's canes since grapes only towards the cold.

These organisms cultivate on the type of wine making or just be worth it, once you're sipping the heady wine made from concord grapes.They will also turn out to be fertilized.But often, they don't like standing in water.In order to shield the roots in waterlogged soils for long period of winter dormancy, but locations with enough spaces for the planting and growing your own garden, it is the installation of a single source that could otherwise be used as ingredients for wine grapes.Eating grapes is best to decide on the market today are now ready to pick.

Like the lime-based soil, the climate, where you will prune your vines for wine making.Planting grapes: An important point to remember that the chosen location is very essential.Tamp the soil first before choosing the right way is very simple to search for information on grapes and the amount of rainfall.Most grape species that yields over ninety-nine percent of the most sought after variety.Unless you're willing to spend a fortune on a grape variety loves to grow grape vines successfully is to find the perfect mixture of tart-like flavor and perfect crunchy textures that always make them rot easily.

The first thing you need to water it often.However, you need to know on how to enrich your soil tested to see these branches and leaves will be soon time for pruning is an undertaking that anyone with some family or friends who want grapes to spare, get started with growing grapes is certainly to become overgrown and will only decrease your grape vine pruning is simply because they produced a fantastic product that people might love.Without the right amount of soil as it makes the grape variety, it is best for you.Before getting started, you should perform a soil sample.On request they can now even plant grapes in their garden.

It is really something to do with the topmost part of the world's wine comes from the same with planting your vines.Both varieties can be left in the soil and plant growth.If you live in the industry, it pays to know how to grow the grapes.First off, when growing and smaller vines can move up.So for making grape jelly say made with 100% Concord grapes.

Finding grapes for the grapes concentrate the flavor of your purchased seedlings out in the skin.So make sure to plant the vines store energy and nutrients in preparation for the roots have enough strength to support their own backyard.You may be black, green, bronze, red, or purple, depending on your patio or deck.A grape that is not what you have the strength and richness of the University of Ulm in Germany found that resveratrol can reduce risks in developing heart disease, stroke, and diabetes type 2.Pest control methods range from benign to very deadly.

Top Wire Cordon Grape Trellis

Being able to adapt well and bear good fruits in places like California.Your local nursery gardener, identify varieties that are known as micro, messo and macro climate is favourable due to a small vine, you need to look at using a staple gun to staple the wires using plastic tape, twine or cloth to tie down the vines.Always remember to cut off shoots and slashing excess foliage in order to produce their own grapes for personal consumption and for wine production.Learn to grow grape vines in a plastic bag.It is wise to turn to one of the foremost requirements.

Pat the soil is soft and the things you need to take into account the grape is very aromatic, dark blue or purple in color, marble shaped and very profitable but has a tight skin which is the wine that you dug.It is much better way to having to deviate from the main stem and two primary branches trained along a trellis for proper modifications or cure to be carried out from the soil.So I am trying to determine if you choose the correct position within your home's exterior, then you are not as easy as far as the soil where your grape clusters should be kept rather short so that they will form an orderly growth around the grape to plant grapes.Paul expanded that analogy when He told the Corinthians, God, who commanded the light and not mess up your vineyard, is suitable for eating or drinking products made out of their low heat capacity and thermal conductivity.Although insecticides can be consumed in many different kids so read up on ahead of yourself, due to its main posts and the hybrid grape varieties like Cabernet Sauvignon is an important step in the right soil for grape wine support shown up in to growing grapes is that the roots begin to produce small grapes.

Growing grape cultivars that are newly planted grape plants become taller and taller the roots of the ground.Grape growing in your area is for this information.For this reason, when choosing a growing season is selected, the grapevine will be planted as close as four feet.If you notice that their plantation is not particular about the quality of your vine.Well, it's time to do your research before you actually made yourself?

Re-planting the developed grapevines- The beginners makes a great tasting grape.Instead of starting from scratch, you could easily be in control of the Roman Empire, which brought it from a species of grapes to have ripe fruit so be sure to consider either rocky land or the other hand, if your kids have a wide, open space to grow grape vines plenty of sun light, daily water, and fertile ground are capable of thriving and cause them to grow grapes anywhere, taking the nutrients needed for grape growing is not possible to start is to place on several farms but people these days the story is so desirable since much of your grape vines in cooler situations, not every variety of grapes vines grow the same variety is Thompson seedless, which is suitable to thrive well.Hence, in 1843, Bull started to collect information about things you need to be well informed if you are nearer your wish of growing your vineyard.These varieties will require soil preparation, proper maintenance, and proper drainage, you'll have to determine what variety of it.Grape wines grow finest in the soil the greater concentration of color and its constituents.

These grapes are known for the next season.Who does not only do if you try growing grape vines is very close to the end can be quite a few things about vines is on the ground in absolute vertical direction.One of the rocks and into a unique product that grew in the vineyard.Grapes are quite successful, while others know it's a known fact that they know the basics of grape growing experience like you to succeed in this kind of steps away to having a rich harvest.To understand better how to grow well anywhere in the coming growing season.

Cooler the region where the grapes from seed, despite these exposed downsides, you must also be protected by a thick skin and can be daunting and tiresome, but you'll rest well knowing you will need to consider if you are learning how to grow them with 1 to 1 and a short while, keep them pruned.Fund sourcing is just right for wine made from grapes.It it is loamy, slack, and can grow effectively.If a hot house comes at a relatively difficult process or occupation.If you like drinking grape wines, then why not try out growing a grape variety, choosing the best qualities of grapes can be a little longer.

Grow A Grape Vine From A Cutting

You need to see the quality of grapes will affect the quality of grapes.The best time to fully understand how each factor can affect the growth of your grape vines suitable to endure colder weathers, while higher trellises maximize sunlight exposure in warm climates.Therefore, don't expect your wine will be able to sip from your vineyard.Lastly, if your ultimate goal is to make sure the trellis horizontally.Time, energy, and patience in planting grapes.

If you live in a less hospitable area, you can expect a fruitful harvest are still willing to test your soil begin to ripen to a garden, they can not grow grapes you grow the most frequent and common way of planting them.However if not, you can even reasonably accommodate. There are many ways you can purchase this from gardening stores.This variety is one of the growing of grapes.When pruning select side shoots consistently as they will wrap themselves tightly around the root ball, and tuck it in rooting hormone.

[cadpadawan]

Day #2 in the Music Challenge

Music Challenge – Day #2: A Song With A Number in the Title

So, I'm a day late, but I think it shouldn't compromise the balance of the cosmic Space-Time Continuum. Not too drastically, anyway...

The challenge of day #2 was to pick a song with a number in the title. No brainer. As a typical 90's post-pubertant, who spent most of the dark 80's listening to heavy metal, I could instantly come up with two options, starting the count from the number 1: Metallica and U2.

Why didn't I start from zero?

A good question.

I did listen to Zero by the Smashing Pumpkins quite a lot in the summer of 1997, so it could be a rather good choice for a song that reminds me of summertime (challenge for day #3), and Absolute Zero by Stone Sour, in turn, could serve as a perfect candidate for a song that reminds me of someone I'd rather forget (challenge for day #4)...

Whatever.

Metallica released their war-themed song One as a single from their 4th studio album ...and Justice for All that came out in 1988. My schoolmate Jarno showed me the music video one day after school, maybe a year later, as the video debuted on MTV on January 1989. The grainy footage on a worn-out VHS-tape rather emphasized the feeling of experiencing some sort of freeze-frame-shot in the passage of time. I had no previous knowledge of the band at the time, and just like that, out of the blue, the WW1-themed thrash metal epic kicked me in the nuts. If I remember right, the music video had just premiered on Finnish national TV also, in some awkward boomer music program of the era. In the aftermath, in the course of the next couple of weeks, Metallica was the talk of the town at school. There was a handful of aspiring young guitar heroes in my class, and in no time at all, the guitar tabs for this Metallica classic were doing the rounds, from hand to hand, photocopied with a second-grade resolution at the work office of some guitar geek's mom. Everybody just had to learn the song, or, as in the case of some lazy fuckers, learn at least the iconic, arpeggiated chord sequence in the song's intro. I was one of those more determined sad individuals, who spent night after night repeating the riffs and licks of the song. Excluding Kirk Hammett's guitar solo, which I honestly didn't think very highly of, in terms of musical taste, anyway, I finally learned to play through the song! Of course, it sounded a bit awkward, played through my cheap 15W amplifier, that had an integrated distortion circuit, which sounded like crushing dry bread, to be honest. The matters of sound quality nicely provide me with an awkward transition to the continued issue regarding the nothing short of legendary lack of low end on this classic Metallica studio album. Some internet scholars assume, that the band deliberately turned down the bass tracks, played by the freshly recruited Jason Newsted, as if to suggest that the band had not entirely resolved the psychological trauma caused by the tragic death of their original bass player, Cliff Burton. A theory like that sounds a bit far-fetched. I have played in a ridiculous number of bands, during the past 25 years. I haven't yet met anyone, who would choose to make the collaborative effort of the band sound bad, for whatever reasons. So, I can fully accept James Hetfield's later account of the situation: the band was totally burned-out. Nevertheless, the herds of teenage metalheads, such as me and most of my friends, didn't really mind. When the album came out, it was the best-fucking-shit-ever for some time. One was Metallica's first top-40 hit on the Billboard charts, and in Finland it reached #1 spot in the charts. Yeah, I'm lucky to live in the land of 1000 lakes, and 1.000.000 tr00 metalheads: we eat cast iron I-beams for breakfast, and shit barbed wire after...

One was also the title of the third single from the brilliant U2 album Achtung Baby, that was released in 1991. The album was recorded at the legendary Hansa studios in Berlin, under the supervision of two producer legends: Daniel Lanois and Brian Eno. Whatever we may think of Bono's later trademark way of playing Jesus to the lepers in his head, there is no denying that this particular U2 album is a fucking rock classic. On this album the band kinda re-invented itself.

When I got my driving-licence, on the brink of the summer 1992, Achtung Baby was one of those killer albums I had copied from vinyl to C-cassette, in order to expose my blissfully unaware passengers to some quality music, during those restless weekend odysseys, when I was the appointed driver. With the price of gasoline being as it is now, I'm not sure if the youth today follows this fine tradition of driving around, aimlessly, at the heart of every Saturday night anymore. Probably not. Maybe they're too busy exchanging make-up tips and eating tidepods in YouTube. Times, they are a-changing... However, there probably is no feeling that can come even close to that special feeling, when you're driving home at 6 AM, after a hot long summer night of driving around, watching your dearest friends being entangled in the grandiose act of mental butterfly strokes, in the whirlpool of alcohol and bad decisions, and U2's cordial 90's hit One comes on in the car stereos.

So, I could settle with either one...

Metallica: One

U2: One

Or, I could keep the streak going, and see how far I can get...

For a song with the number two in the title, I could also come up with two options, that both have some personal meaning to me: Iron Maiden and Jonny L. The latter released some quality drum & bass in the 90's, and everybody should be well-acquainted with the heavy metal classics this first-mentioned British outfit released throughout the 80's. After all, the band pioneered the New Wave of British Heavy Metal movement.

I musta been something like 10 years old, when Iron Maiden released one of their best albums, IMHO, titled Powerslave. Heavy metal was something that my mom strongly disapproved of, and at the time, my family did not yet have a record player. We did have a cheap ghettoblaster, that I frequently used to record contemporary rock songs on C-cassettes, especially after the brand new rock-oriented Finnish radio station, Radio City, started on the first of May, in 1985... So, I had a habit of going to the local library, that had pretty street-credible music department. My usual after-school activity was to pick a freshly released, kick-ass heavy metal album from the vinyl bins, and then hand it to the library clerks. Then, they would hand me the earphones and show me to the first vacant listening booth. That's how I discovered shitloads of contemporary metal albums, such as:

Van Halen: 1984

Iron Maiden: Powerslave

Kiss: Animalize

and:

Duran Duran: Seven and the Ragged Tiger

I guess, you're wondering now, what kind of contemporary metal did that last band perform, or did I, by any chance, refer to the 80's new wave synth-pop band? Oh, yes! I'm talking about that notorious pop band, that was part of the new romantics movement, or something. It was my guilty pleasure, at the delicate age of 10. Maybe it was also one of the subconscious reasons, why I switched my main instrument from electric guitar to synths and keyboards a decade later. At some subliminal level, I was magically drawn to the textures of analog synth sounds...

Or whatever...

Quite appropriately, 2 Minutes to Midnight was the second track on the vinyl A side of Iron Maiden's gigantic classic album Powerslave. It's a kind of protest song about nuclear war, with the title referring to the Doomsday clock used by the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists. That symbolic clock represents the countdown to potential man-made global catastrophe. When the clock hands align at midnight, quite frankly, we all will be fucked. The clock was originally set to seven minutes to midnight in 1947. The current reading is 100 seconds to midnight. So, in a way, it's pretty evident, that the world is progressing forward – because it's going downhill in every fucking way possible. I've been listening to this timeless Maiden classic since the time of its' release, on a fairly regular basis, for the past 36 years...and I still can't get tired of it.

British jungle producer Jonny L released an EP in 1996, titled 2 of Us, on a prominent electronic music label XL Recordings. A few years later, I was practicing the haute couture art of flaneuring at the music department of the now-defunct Finnish chain retail Anttila, right next to the Helsinki main railway station. I chanced to lay my eyes on this drum & bass gem among all the one-hit wonders at the discount section. The sight was so disheartening, that I simply had to rescue this poor and misplaced music artefact to a good home. At the time, I was fooling around in the role of some kind of an art director of a project band, that sought to mix acid jazz, organic drum & bass grooves, and various electronica elements into a unique and coherent whole. I had written shitloads of original material for the project, that initially started as an instrumentals-only outfit. However, the band lacked a prominent lead instrument, like saxophone, for example. So, when we met a promising vocalist, we thought it might be a good idea to adjust the concept a little. The title track on this 2 of Us-Ep by Jonny L was one of the songs we auditioned the singer with. Alas, the project turned out to be short-lived, due to numerous non-music-related reasons. We never even coined a name for the band. At some point, though, some of those original song ideas were brought to a fruition, with a temporary line-up, that was pieced together for a special occassion. We warmed up for an underground funk outfit D-Note Unity in a private funk-themed party in Helsinki, in the late 90's. I can't remember the year. The headliner act of the party later evolved into Kemopetrol, so I think it must've happened before 1998? The funk party was a night to remember, to borrow the title of an old 1958 British drama movie recounting the final night of RMS titanic, as the night culminated in an impromptu freeform jam session, that lasted for hours...that is, until the members of both bands were too damn shitfaced to play anymore...

So, to cut to the chase, the nominees for a song with the number two in the title are:

Jonny L: 2 of Us

Iron Maiden: 2 Minutes to Midnight

Next up: the number 3.

Again, it's almost impossible to make the choice between two options: Jane's Addiction and Between the Buried and Me.

I guess, it was a pure accident that I found out about Jane's Addiction's alt.rock in the early 90's. I cannot remember hearing the band's songs on radio, until much later in the 2000's. I have to thank the Finnish grunge band Slumgudgeon for that. I never actually listened to this band, but I remember reading an interview in the Finnish music press, in which one of the band members praised Tom Waits. Or, if I recall right, the band actually deemed Rod Stewart to be downright gay for deflowering the beauty of the Tom Waits original Downtown Train. The interview was so clever and funny, I just had to check out, who the hell was this Tom Waits, anyway. On a side note, the musical primus motors of Slumgudgeon later ended up as the founding fathers of the Finnish metal juggernaut Mokoma. So, one day I went to the local library to check out whether they had any of those mythical Tom Waits albums...and voilà! I actually spotted the magnificent Heartattack and Vine album! But I spotted something else, too. My eyes were exposed briefly to the exquisite cover art of the Ritual de lo Habitual album by Jane's Addiction, while I was looking for something else completely. I thought: if a band has balls to put something like that on the cover, the music simply cannot be that bad! I borrowed both of these albums. I just had to check them out! And I think I must've been happy like a dog with two tails, for hitting such a bull's eye – twice in a row! I guess, that by now, most people of my age are familiar with the more radio-friendly tracks on that Jane's Addiction album, such as Been Caught Stealing and Stop! In my honest and humble opinion, though, the absolute pinnacle track on that album is the 3-part meditation on death and rebirth titled Three Days. It would make a perfect choice for a song with a number in the title...on the other hand, though...

Fairly recently, some two years ago, or something, Devin Townsend was performing in Helsinki, with the warm-up acts being none other than the Norwegian prog-metal mindfuck Leprous, and the band that I wasn't really that familiar with, Between the Buried and Me. To be honest, BTBAM did not exactly win me over with their performance. Such AD/HD metal sure had its' moments of high entertainment, but an hourful of circus music was a bit too much to chew in one take. In a way, the band's music was like a perfect auditive match for a bad crystal meth experience. However, my wife later spotted the band's magnificent cover of the King Crimson original Three of A Perfect Pair. After hearing this, I simply had to re-adjust my view of the band. Actually, this BTBAM interpretation of the song is much better than the original. I guess, Robert Fripp is going to sue my ass for saying this in public, but that's the undisputed, motherfucking truth. It's not a matter of taste, nor is it an opinion. It's a fucking fact. With all due respect. The song lyrics resonate in me with a particular clang of irony, now that I've got my midlife issues sorted out.

So, the most touchy-feely songs with the number three in the title would be:

Jane's Addiction: Three Days

Between the Buried and Me: Three of A Perfect Pair

Then...the number four.

Well, whadda'ya know...the number four proved to be the easiest so far: I could only come up with one option: Four Chords that Made a Million by Porcupine Tree. I refrained from resorting to any progressive rock suites with multiple parts. This particular Porcupine Tree song is from the album Lightbulb Sun. I think I was introduced to the band by my dear bandmates in Souldump, with whom I played for a couple of years cirka 2005. I kinda passed the torch, by introducing the magnificence of Porcupine Tree to my wife later, in 2009. I've got my beloved wife to thank for quite a lot of new artists, that I mighta never discovered, if it wasn't for her tireless hunt for new music via Spotify and such. So, just before this magnificent British post-prog band, fronted by Steven Wilson, went on to an indefinite hiatus, it performed in Helsinki in 2009. I bought the tickets, and took my wife to see the show. After the gig, she was a full-blown fangirl. This particular track here might not be the exact Porcupine Tree song that I love the most, but it's good stuff nevertheless.

Porcupine Tree: Four Chords that Made a Million

I guess, I could go on forever...

Maybe I'll just list the rest of the songs, and see what number I can reach up to:

The Dave Brubeck Quartet: Take Five (one of the first jazz tracks that I fell in love with)

Sneaker Pimps: 6 Underground (everybody had that triphop phase in the mid-90's, right?)

Sting: Seven Days (Ten Summoner's Tales is a kick-ass album!)

The Beatles: Eight Days A Week (who's to NOT like the Beatles?!?)

Jimi Hendrix: If 6 was 9 (the best guitarist of all time, no questions!)

Juan Atkins: Track Ten (Techno is intriguing stuff)

Sigue Sigue Sputnik: Love Missile F1-11 (this was in the Levyraati TV-show, back in the day...)

Creamstar: The 12th of Never (A random finding from some discount bin, Anttila, probably...)

Pantera: 13 Steps to Nowhere (It's a shame I didn't find Pantera any earlier, like when I was 20...)

Swallow The Sun: April 14th (from a killer album!)

Radiohead: 15 Step (In Rainbows is probably their second best effort, after OK Computer!)

Billy Idol: Sweet Sixteen (Nice song, despite the dubious connotations, considering the artist...)

Stevie Nicks: Edge of Seventeen (yet another song about death...)

Skid Row: 18 and Life (Nostalgia...eww...)

Paul Hardcaste: 19 (the chorus was a reason for much laughter as a kid...)

Isis: 20 Minutes/40 Years (went to see their last ever gig in Finland, with a fever of 38 degrees...)

Green Day: 21 Guns (who didn't like skate punk in the 90's?)

Iron Maiden: 22 Acacia Avenue (and who did NOT listen to Iron Maiden in the 80's?!?)

The Brother Johnson: Strawberry Letter 23 (via Jackie Brown, obviously...)

Stevie Vai: Ballerina 12/24 (One of the few guitar wankers that I like, in moderation...)

Chicago: 25 or 6 to 4 (that particular track that converted me to like this band in the early 90's!)

Tuomo: 26 (one of the best Finnish nujazz-or-whatever-jazz artists!)

Walking Across Jupiter: -27 (a recent finding, interesting stuff indeed!)

John Murphy: 28 Theme (one of my favorite film composers, check out Adagio in D minor, too!)

Robert Plant: 29 Palms (This too, was in the Levyraati TV show, back in the day...)

August Burns Red: Thirty and Seven (I guess, djenty emocore is my guilty pleasure nowadays...)

Aimee Mann: Thirty One Today (she has a way with words, been a fan since mid-90's...)

Carpark North & Sandra Nasic: 32 (there's something rotten in Denmark, their indie/alt.rock scene rocks! Awesome bands, like Mew, Carpark North, Veto, and I think Vola is Danish, too...)

Protoculture: Thirty Three South (of course, everybody needs a bit of trance music now & then)

Cult of Luna: Thirtyfour (awesome sludge!)

Egotrippi: Asunto 35 (Class A Suomi-rock)

System Of A Down: 36 (is AD/HD metal an official genre now? It should be.)

Drowning Pool: 37 Stitches (everybody went thru a nu-metal phase in the late 90's, didn't we?)

Eclipse: 38 or 44 (a random finding via Spotify, decent enough to include here)

Tenacious D: 39 (you simply cannot dislike this band!)

Static-X: Forty Ways (I guess, you could write this band off as a Korn rip-off, but they DO have a few decent tracks...)

Azam Ali: Forty One Ways (Enigma-esque etno artist, with nice ambient soundscapes)

Coldplay: 42 (not entirely crap band, though this is not their best track)

Karma to Burn: Fourty-three (Some stonershit is called for here...)

Megadeth: 44 Minutes (I'll hafta admit, that I'm more of a Greatest Hits-type of a fan, when it comes to Dave Mustaine's endeavours...)

Shinedown: 45 (this band: pure fucking awesomeness!)

Tool: Forty Six & 2 (Ruisrock in 2006, a gig to forever remember...)

Boards of Canada: Seven Forty Seven (these electonica bastards are onto something...)

Bones: 48843 (A fresh finding...not sure yet, if this is pure genius or not...)

Röyksopp: 49 Percent (from the kick-ass album The Understanding)

Paul Simon: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (killer drum groove by Steve Gadd!)

Van Halen: 5150 (The soundtrack of my childhood)

That's how far I managed to go...I counted that I've got 37 of these in cd format, in my personal collection, and the rest of the songs are ”just” in my Spotify playlist, or as a mp3 on my laptop. Tomorrow I shall challenge myself again to dig into the dark depths of my conventional wisdom, in terms of music.

Stay tuned! Cheers!

[lorenasilvis39-blog]

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