#i may have my issues with odo but FUCK his dad lol

[jvlianbashir]

come in, dr. mora pol. how nice of you to visit - yes, yes i'm sure you're so looking forward to visiting your son. now if you could just sit down on this couch here... ah no, a bit more towards the center if you would.

above you? ah, i see you've noticed the giant anvil suspended from the ceiling by some butcher's twine. nothing you need worry about, i assure you!

[randomnameless]

Chapter 6 - opening narration!

In a continent far far away…

Pursued by the Empire’s sinister agents, Princess Julia races abroad on her pony, custodian of the stolen weapon that can save her people and restore freedom to the continent…

LOL NOPE - IT’S SELIPH’S TIME!

don’t forget Andrei 

Just as planned? You just have to pull your hair back and you’ll turn into a villaing that was so charismatic his creator had no idea how to kill him.

and here goes FE5′s plot, in one line - i mean, opposition from Thracia who conquered Leonster was crushed, but this is unimportant to Arvis. And the first who comments “what about Miletos” will be cursed in his/her next Fe Heroes summon

What about Verdane? Augstry?? They don’t even deserve a line. Or maybe it’s implied they were already subjugated by Siggy himself, back in his days.

��Hurray!” - but his subjects from Granvalle or the natives from everywhere else?

Congratulations! insert some “this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause”.

Playing timeline, again! We at least need a landmark before playing.

Jeez Arvis, you grew… old. Is this what 17 years do to douchebags?

now that he is old, he became a tyrant?

and here it goes! It has been 17 years since they had been assimilated, but now they want independance back. Being a colonial force isn’t always roses and sunshine!

Oh. This is where FE5 brings trouble, for a slave Miranda was, albeit shut off in a monastery, not in, say, Lara’s situation. Misha is still a commander of her peg knights, who are green units, and not a sublackey of the Empire’s forces (even if the extent of her agency is debatable). But there’s also the Xavier issue, while he is alive it’s clear Gustav scorns him, and yet Amalda’s a part of the Empire and doesn’t treat the randoms from Ralph’s village like slaves - hell bandits want to turn them into livestock, not the Empire (who doesn’t give a fuck about them because they’re randoms). 

I guess this line is more about the general situation, Amalda&co are exceptions but this makes FE5 even better in hindsight.

but even I have to admit that this statement is backed up by several convos/materials so yeah, the Dozel rule sucked. why? Because they were Dozels, of course!

Ha, what was I saying? He even looks brutish, because Dozels are brutes and ugly people in sprites are evil people. I know FE uses the “ugly is bad” trope more often than not but this seriously doesn’t help.

Roh, stop shitting on the dead! What has Langbalt done? Oh… yeah. Well, you can shit on him. But at least he had a majestic beard.

Rivough? It used to be the seat of some kingdom back in the day, right? Poor Rivoughs, first they get rekt by Mananan and then they’re trampled by Dozels. Galzus should be pissed.

Slave merchants are in Isaach too?

Johan rules the ancestral capital/Kingdom? You have some nerve dude. Johalvier at least tramples over Holyn’s inheritance, but since it’ll never be brought up ever again we aren’t supposed to care.

Pff - that’s the trusted confident you managed to get Dannan?

The Dozel royals and a random… It really makes no sense why Burian isn’t here (and Johan guarding Dozel) with his HW, if a rebellion should arise or the HW be needed it’d be in Isaach, not in Dozel! But maybe they thought the Isaachians would never rebel…

Jugdral Wars : Episode IV : A New Hope

and they’re fishermen just like Leif’s isolated village?

Growth spurt! You look nice Shanan!

What, they’re buying strength rings every day?

Aideen dubs him Scion of Light when she calls him for soup “Scion of Light, Ulster, Larcei, it’s time to eat!”

good people of Isaach, the propaganda launched by Oifey works nicely. I knew he wasn’t a strategist for nothing!

So Shanan created the Libertation army but delegates leadership to Seliph? Mmh… maybe he has a lot of LS?

Roh, don’t take it out on him because he’s just a random!

“so why don’t you call your useful son with his broken Mc Guffin axe to help us Lord Dannan?”

Stupid Dozel, he can’t read a dub right! It’s “Scion of Light” not “spawn of Sigurd the Traitor”!

Uh… yeah? I’d have thought Shanan’d be the more problematic one, you know, a full blooded Crusader of Odo, the son of the previous King, etc…

“Uh Lord Arvis, there is a rebellion and i don’t know what to do.” “destroy them with your Holy Weapon!” “yeah but I gave it to Burian.” “incompetent fool”

Oh noes! They will capture the girls and put them in a dungeon and Aideen’ll be stoned - wait wrong game

Sundown? So we’re not in Winter then, because according to Treasure in Winter there is no sun in Northern Isaach.

“but you’re the one who underestimate them you didn’t bring the Helswath!” “it’s not because I do that you’re allowed to do the same!” 

Oifey is a force to be reckoned with? Seriously? Oh wait, he has the WTA advantage, just like Shanan. Just like everyone else tbh. Good thing Seliph starts his rebellion in axe land and not in, say, Thracia.

you had a miserable fishermen’s hamlet surveyed?

“it’s safe to assume” daw Harold. Why are you taking precautions with Danan?

Maybe because he needs your authorisation before moving armed forces??

damn those Isaachian savages!

Wee, murder time!

nothing bad will happen at Rivough i mean it’s not like it had already been destroyed in one night in the previous war.

you look like a highly charismatic character i’ll expect you to have a lot of dialogue.

maybe they just want to buy fish??

are the pessimistic one Larcei?

jeez we can’t defend castles in this game! What are you even talking about Larcei?!

What you don’t want to defend the castle but destroy them as they march on us? We don’t even have an Arden to guard the castle!

Shanan’s been wanting to explore unknown horizons and Oifey went to groom his moustache in the nearby city, since ours doesn’t have a barber.

you have WTA, a stupid class and a stupid skill. I mean if i put you in a forest you’re invincible, and unlike your second cousin once removed, you have some def.

don’t call him a coward else he’ll be angry? Or not.

shanan didn’t go to Finn’s classes “how to raise kids”, Leif is way younger than those two!

well they’re Dozels and the first enemies fought in this story, what did you expect? Moral dilemnas?!

Eww, raping bandits are the worst and sadly it’s implied that happens regularly in Isaach.

It’s strange to hear strong!Larcei say those but maybe she became strong!Larcei because of this? Poor random Dozel though, if he knew who he was getting his hands on…

Ulster is visibly conflicted.

Hey, it’s “Scion of Light”!

Wow, 5 lines in and you already show more wits than your dad! GG Seliph!

in a bush to increase avoid Selph, don’t forget the bush.

and this is where “mellow!Ulster” dies. FE13 tried to paint him as calm guy but by Seliph’s words he’s as hot blooded as Larcei, but he tries to obey to Shanan’s orders.

“i didn’t want to involve you in our battle plan since you suck” poor Seliph :’(

“as the good fodder they are, the soldiers’ll want to kill them all!”

Hero calling! Go!

and here starts Ulster’s downfall, being cut in his dialogue is the first step to becoming a side character. At the end, he won’t even have dialogue.

“healers in the kitchen!” wow is that a Chalphy thing? Quan was so progressive!

“i didn’t try to convince Larcei to retreat to the kitchen, i tried to convince her to take me with her on the battlefield, it’s different!”

What could be more cruel than rapings?

Daw Lana! You don’t know, it’s the new trendy game in the capital! It’s called “kill a rebel”! You should try it!

I may not fight, but this staff i carry can heal your wounded. Take me with you, and you’ll be very glad you did.

well if you die i get a game over, so it’ll obviously end well.

i hold you to that Seliph I swear if you miss at 80% or get killed by a random axeman I’ll ship you with Julia

Only four people? “my cousin took on a castle with four people” “he got jailed and had to be rescued afterwards!!”