#i may have misjudged you too harshly

[murgaliciousdefinition]

Nobody cares and I talk to myself on here but I (very very recently) got a promotion to a supervisory engineering position and I successfully defused a really bad situation at work today. Literally went from two guys yelling and swearing at each other with accusations to a quiet (if still tense) actual conversation with everyone participating. I'm so fucking jazzed, I got a huge confidence boost out of how I handled it!! I'm taking down toxic work environments one week at a time apparently.

[emmafrostyyy]

y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

[selene-moonie]

my thoughts while reading shatter me

I'm two thirds of the way into Unravel Me, and unravelling, things definitely are.

It reads like a YA novel - Big surprise Selene, it's a ya novel. Yeah, it's slightly annoying though. I know in my heart and soul I am wrong for comparing it to Hunger Games but I have not read a YA dystopian novel that hits the same. The themes? The fact that the romance was just a ploy in the book that we ate up irl as well? The 2024 relevance? Come on, nothing compares.

Everyone is super touchy - I'll be the first to say as an undersocialised teen, these kinds of books set me tf up for a lot of real life experiences. Does sex always equate to love? No. Are there other ways to show love? Yes. - Ok but Selene, Juliette is touch starved. Fine. But again, why is it that all you guys seem to think about when it comes to emotional intimacy is these extreme sexual touches? - I'm at the point where the switch between Adam and Warner in Juliette's mind is happening, and I think Adam cares more about the physical aspect of it than Warner does - which I enjoy as a reader because again, lust and sexual desire does not equate to love. There are other aspects of relationships that don't include physicality.

I judged the YA teens too harshly when I was a teen - Or maybe I didn't. I didn't want to read about simpering girls whose parents died and suddenly they had the power of a thousand suns but was held back by choosing between two boys - blond and brown haired (it was not the vibe in my years). - On the flip side, I was no better than these confused girls, and many of us growing up were not either. So maybe I misjudged them. It took me years to learn how to stand on my own two feet, and that's with things like therapy and stuff. Nobody had that in those books.

I remember why I stopped reading these stories - Stress mostly. I am so distressed reading this story because every 0.2 seconds, Juliette is about to have a meltdown, every time we see Adam it's because he's melting down, Kenji is just trying to be responsible because he sees the bigger picture, and if that author kills Kenji, I will find her, but no one else ever will.

It seems disconnected from the main point - Or maybe not. Let's look into it - Juliette seems more preoccupied with her new feelings about these boys than she is about the actual fucking threat of the world collapsing. Or something to that effect. She's disconnected from the actual threat, which is the Reestablishment. "Oh the Reestablishment is bad, Warner yum yum." Stop. You just want a normal life, and you are playing at these very adult games. "People have died." Have they? She's so preoccupied with her feelings about Adam and Warner that she actively forgets that Brendan and Winston might be dead. I'm sorry? Should Castle have threatened her after she showed up fucking empty-handed after getting to know Aaron Fucking Warner? Come on.

Kenji is superior - He's the only one who deserves anything ever. He's the only one that understands the threat of what's going on that I don't even think Castle gets.

I'm still on the fence about Omega Point - We've seen it in the French Revolution and my favorite dystopian ya story ever (Hunger Games if you couldn't tell): the people who takes the position of power may be no better than the ones they killed to get the position.

I wonder if killing James will give Juliette and Adam some context - If James dies, it'll definitely be a point of no return. They'll both take the threat seriously, and they'll do their best, or worst.

[storiesbyrhi]

I just re-watched season 1 of Stranger Things and here's the takeaway for me: whoever I was when I watched it in 2016 is not the girl you see before you. I have a wayyyy different interpretation of characters.

It may be a hindsight bias kind of thing. Like, I know the characters for their season 4 selves, so I have that lens on when re-watching BUT:

I judged Jonathan way too harshly. Yes, absolutely, it was creepy to take a photo of Nancy through the window. Yes, it was wrong. However, he took photos of everything. He was all messed up with grief and trauma. He knew it was a mistake and eventually took responsibility for that. Jonathan was (and is) the best brother. And son. I feel bad for whatever shit I talked about him lmao. Jonathan - I sincerely apologise. I forgot the nail baseball bat was a Jonathan invention too. Boy doesn't get enough credit.

I also misjudged Steve. Again - yes, he was an asshole when he broke the camera, but tbh, if I was full of teenage hormones and I found out someone took creepy pics I'd probably lose it at them too. The cinema graffiti absolutely was fucked, as was the alleyway fight. Like Jonathan, Steve realised he was in the wrong and definitely tried to make up for it. Importantly, he proactively tried to make up for. He went back and cleaned the graffiti. He went to Jonathan's to apologise. He was supportive of Nancy replacing the camera (headcanon: he paid for it). He's been a romantic from the get-go, which I love for him.

I can't believe I slept on how fucking rad Nancy has been from the start. Like. Ugh. I could have been in love with her from the start but no?

I'm also very disappointed in myself for forgetting Benny (RIP). Wish we knew you for longer, Benny. You're a good dude.

Scott Clarke... Do you think his shoulders hurt? From holding the whole show on them?

Hopper is less cool than I remember. Excited to see the character growth there.

All the 'season 1 Mike would want to fight season 4 Mike' are so true. He. jumped. off. that. cliff.

Other interesting things:

Will singing Should I Stay or Should I Go? in the upside down... did it keep him a little safer? Music has always been a grounding element...

It's so weird watching it all given what we know about how Vecna and the Hawkins Lab massacre etc. etc.

I wish every child had a mother like Joyce. I would die for Joyce.

And I'm onto season 2. (Edit: season 2 thoughts here.)

This has been a Stranger Things Rhi-watch (lol).

[queen-erika-the-songful]

Hi there, Erika! I hope things are going alright for you during this pride month. I'm planning to watch The Princess and the Popstar bc I realized I misjudged it too much and to give it a true chance. Anyways, I'm probs opening a can of worms and discourse in the year 2024 by doing this... do you think Tori's actions would be excused if she was a masc character? Because I've been in too many fandoms (for live-action media) to see how fem characters can be judged harshly compared to masc (white, more often than not but that's another discussion) characters. And I wonder if the same can be said for Tori. The only reason I was hesitant because of how she acted (i.e: the Aunt Amelia stuff) but later, I saw posts mentioning how she grew and developed and I went 'huh, I guess I was wrong', and well. Yeah, basically. I apologize if this is an odd question and if it doesn't make sense. Regardless, sending grand wishes to you and may Pride month go well for you! 🌈🌈🌈

HI there! Happy Pride to you as well!

I love that you're giving Popstar a chance. I think it's a fun movie with good vibes and great songs. I don't really like the villain but I adore the leads and especially Tori's character progression. Keira personally helped me when I was a young teen because I saw her as bisexual before I really knew the word and it helped me figure that out for myself.

That's an interesting point you suggested about Tori. I do think there are certain characters that would be less viscerally hated if they were men, and in Tori's case - well, it could be possible. Like you said, there are some characters in various fandoms that feel like they get more passes for being masc and white while trashing on fem characters and characters of color but I'm not like entirely sure in Tori's case. I feel like there's this trend recently of doing hard on literal child characters so maybe Tori wouldn't get a pass no matter her gender. I really don't know though. I guess if she was more masc, then her pranking people could be seen as more of "charming rascal" or something. Maybe more people would pay attention to some of the detail in the storytelling more in order to be like "see THIS is why this character is like this!" I'm sorry that I don't really have a definitive answer and I'm pretty bad about talking about these kinds of things because it's hard to articulate my thoughts without sounding like I'm just mashing words and terms together.

Speaking of those details, I feel like people don't seem to grasp that Tori's acting out is most likely because of a few things. I already covered them in this post but I'll repeat them here: 1) she appears to have little/no princess duties outside of being a figurehead; 2) her mother is dead and she may not have grieved properly; 3) her sisters are much younger than her and she doesn't have anyone her age to relate to; 4) she may not get to spend a lot of time with her father; 5) her Amelia acts more like her governess than her Aunt. Not saying she didn't do some honestly awful things (seriously why would you hide someone's teeth Tori that's just mean) but there are a lot of factors that could absolutely contribute to her behavior. Plus, when she does realize that she hasn't been paying attention to her kingdom, she immediately wants to fix things and be a good princess. Her arc really is great. Sidenote I wish Keira had gotten more of a proper arc too but I guess it's alright she's still awesome anyway.

The movie as a whole honestly is better than what most of the fandom gives it credit for and I wish it was more appreciated instead of just stripped down to "bad Pauper remake". And remember this is coming from one of the biggest Pauper fans.

Thanks for your ask; you really made me think about some things. I hope you enjoy/enjoyed the movie and I would love to hear what you thought of it (even if it turns out you didn't like it! It's just satisfying to see someone give it a chance!)

[hannahsmusings]

Renee

*I follow Charles out the back entrance once he had come back into the lobby, climbing into the car before him, already able to see the fans starting to turn the corner, but luckily we were safely in the car already and my driver maneuvered around them, but that didn’t stop them all from reaching for the car and cheering* You really are like the Princess Diana of F1, aren’t you? *I throw him a playful smile, Charles being the most liked driver across the board, even if they weren’t a Ferrari fan, everyone loved him and rooted for him, him just being that sort of person who you wanted to see go far* *in my research about Charles and Carlos, I learned about how Charles’ lost his dad when he was a teenager and it really impacted him as a driver, only able to imagine that sort of loss at such a young and vulnerable age, so when he was interacting with the little boy and his father, I knew that’s where his mind was and it honestly just made my own heart swell with adoration for this man, not quite sure how this version of Charles was the same as the one I first met at the bar, figuring that was flirty kinda drunk Charles, and maybe I misjudged him too harshly, maybe he wasn’t a bad guy after all* *I look away from him so he can have his moment as he clutched his chest, knowing we were not at the level where we could discuss traumas and stuff like that just yet, looking out the window until we were away from the hotel, looking back over at him, happy to see he was looking down at his phone and not sitting there in sadness or anything* In America, the drivers in Nascar are not as nice as you guys are over here. That’s another reason why I wanted to get into F1, and out of Nascar. Just such a better environment and atmosphere over here. 

_______________________________________

*grins brightly as I look at you, chuckling at your words and shrugging a little, this part of the job being the part I loved, I loved getting to know the fans and inspiring people, I loved doing this for my Dad as I knew he’d be so proud of me, moments like this I wished he was here* *rubs my chest as the pang of emotion disappears, happy for that son and his father, glad that I did something that may have brightened their day* *pulls out my phone and texts Carlos that me and you had patched things up and that we were on our way to the training facility, scrolling after that before looking up at your words* *smiles a little at the indirect compliment, it offering me a bit of insight into you and your values, turning my body a little and showing I was taking interest* You worked for Nascar for a bit right? You said that in your speech? *asks, having been impressed by a number of the claims of experience you had, it further reminding me how I’d misjudged you* 

[yanderecrazysie]

Adore

For the Curves and Kisses collab!

Can I just say I was so happy to write this? I, myself, am chubby irl. Although I want to change that, and have been losing weight over the past year or so, I still want people to love me for who I am regardless. I’m lucky enough to have people encouraging me and letting me know that I’ll always be beautiful to them.

Yamaguchi takes this to the extremes a little-

Title: Adore

Pairings: Yamaguchi x Chubby! Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, stalking, some insecurities, drugging, Yamaguchi means well but does not do well

Summary: Yamaguchi loves you just the way you are. If you’re going to doubt your beauty, then he’ll just have to prove to you how lovable you are.

Note: Thank you @ceo-of-daichi for letting me join the collab! I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope everyone likes reading it!

adore

/verb/

love and respect (someone) deeply.

Yamaguchi was grateful that you never messed with your bedroom curtains.

Thick material that blocked out any shadows or silhouettes that were meant to be shown, covering most of your window. All but one little corner on the left.

From the angle it was at, it was extremely unlikely that you’d ever spot him, but that didn’t stop him from anxiously ducking any time you looked in his general vicinity. He often worried that you may open your curtains someday, then close them again in a way that covered up that perfect peeping spot he’d been using for months.

He didn’t mean to be creepy, and he always minded your privacy. Relatively speaking, of course. If you were getting changed, he’d cover his eyes until he was sure you’d finished. He’d only misjudged the time once, and he’d been so embarrassed that he ran all the way back to his house, his face the color of a ripe tomato.

He watched you step in front of your full-length mirror, frowning as you surveyed your reflection with a critical eye. Yamaguchi let out a sad sigh as he watched you do so, his heart aching at the thought that you might see yourself as anything less than beautiful.

Yamaguchi knew what it was like, to feel like a part of your appearance is judged harshly. When he was younger, people made fun of his freckles, and, as he got older, a few people mistook them for acne. He was so self-conscious about them for so long and then…

You talked with your friend about features you found cute. You’d insisted that you didn’t have a type, and that you’d like someone for their personality, not their looks. But when your friend pressed you to give just one thing you think is cute you had given an answer Yamaguchi could have never expected.

Freckles. You thought freckles were cute.

He was already leaning forward in his seat to eavesdrop, and that statement just about knocked him out of the chair. Finally, he felt comfortable with his face, with the feature he worried most about.

You liked freckles, so he was proud to have them. He could have been beaten up in an alleyway that day for having them and he’d die happy knowing that you liked them.

Sure, you didn’t specifically say his freckles were cute- it was just a general statement, but it was the closest he’d ever felt to being loved by you. He sat behind you in every class for two years and one semester, and never once did you notice him.

Yamaguchi wasn’t the most noticeable guy- he knew he was fairly plain-looking. Although a part of him wished you’d turn around and see him (really see him, not just pass a homework sheet back to him), another part of him was too nervous to handle talking to you yet.

He wished that he could hold your round cheeks in his hands and stroke them gently with his thumb or that he could wrap an arm around your plush waist and draw your soft body close to his. If you wanted to work on getting healthier or losing weight, he would fully support you, but if you didn’t, he’d be fine with that too!

You were the most beautiful girl in the entire world. Yamaguchi believed that with every cell in his body. No model or celebrity could match up to you- not in any way, shape, or form. And now, as you twirled around in the mirror, looking happy about something or other, he felt that he was the luckiest man in the world, just for being able to be in your presence. Whether you were aware of it or not.

You weren’t usually one for parties, but it was a friend’s birthday, so you didn’t have much of a choice. Normally so caught up in studies, you barely knew what to do with yourself when you stepped through the door of the club. People were everywhere- drinking, dancing, sitting… in fact, one couple seemed to be doing all three at once.

It wasn’t your scene, not by any means, but it wasn’t about you tonight, it was about your bestie turning twenty-two. The other girls were all either already twenty-two or were nearing it, so it was finally a year you could all legally go drinking together.

You all took a seat in an area with at the least-sticky barstools, chattering excitedly with each other about the latest gossip. When a tall man interrupted and invited the birthday girl to dance and you all encouraged her to go, the group of you giggling like schoolgirls.

Like some sort of magic switch being flicked, men came over and, one-by-one, your friends were whisked off to dance with handsome strangers. You idly twirled your necklace in your fingers, unsure whether you were relieved or disappointed that you hadn’t been asked yet.

“I’m not big on dancing, but can I at least buy you a drink?” A soft, masculine voice asked softly behind you. You turned around to find a shyly-smiling man behind you. He looked to be about your age, but definitely overdressed for a nightclub. He looked more like he was going to a wedding with the wrinkle-free black suit he was wearing.

“That’d be great, thanks,” You smiled warmly, “I’m not big on dancing either.”

The man turned his face, blushing so brightly his freckles disappeared under the red glow, “S-so what’s a beautiful lady like you doing all alone?”

It sounded cheesy, like something out of a romance movie, and the mystery man didn’t sound even remotely suave when he said it, but you found it even more endearing that way, “Birthday party. For a friend, I mean, not mine.”

“You really are, though.” The young man said. When he noticed your confused expression, he backtracked, “Beautiful! A beautiful lady! You really are beautiful, yeah, sorry I’m- I’m not very good at…” the poor guy gestured awkwardly, looking at the ground as though he wished it’d swallow him up.

“Aww, thanks! I don’t really think so, but it’s nice of you to say!” You giggled at his bashfulness and took a sip of the drink he’d bought you, not taking your eyes off of his.

“You are beautiful.” The man’s voice was deadly serious, his gaze hardening, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and you shouldn’t doubt that. Ever.”

It was your turn to flush, a little uncomfortable by how serious he suddenly was, “I didn’t mean to fish for compliments or anything, I just… I meant…” You decided to cut off your flustered stutters with a deep drink from your glass.

“I know you didn’t, (Y/n).”

The man began to talk, letting you down a few shots of alcohol, always filled back up again by the bartender on the stranger’s request. The conversation started with him talking enthusiastically about a hobby you both shared, but as the discussion wore on, you found yourself slowly drifting.

You forced yourself to talk, hoping that would stave away whatever drowsiness was tugging at your subconscious, “What’s your name? I don’t think I ever caught it.”

“Yamaguchi Tadashi!” His grin was almost blinding, the man seeming so pleased that you were taking an interest in him.

The sleepy feeling remained as you tried to introduce yourself and you stopped midway, realizing three disturbing things in quick succession.

Firstly, you hadn’t introduced yourself to Yamaguchi before this moment, yet he knew your name. He’d used it earlier on in the conversation, you remember that vividly.

Second, the alcohol you’d been consuming was your favorite drink. You would have assumed it was a coincidence, if it didn’t look different from normal. The water was foggy and the ice had sunk to the bottom. Signs as if it had been… tampered with.

And the third thing...

You weren’t sitting at the barstool anymore. No, your exhausted brain wasn’t able to catch up to your body. The body that had been slowly sinking into Yamaguchi’s embrace for several minutes.

He lifted you into the air with an ease you’d never been carried with before. His hands groped your doughy flesh and he sighed blissfully before nuzzling his nose into your hair with a childlike giggle.

“You really are the most beautiful woman in the world, (Y/n),” Yamaguchi said softly, laying a gentle kiss on your forehead, “I’ll show you just how much I love you… how perfect you are… you’ll stay with me until you learn that you’re beautiful.”

The door to the nightclub closed silently behind him as he carried you through the parking lot, the two of you unnoticed by the dancing crowd.

“And even after you do, you’ll stay with me so I can appreciate every inch of your beauty.”

[lululandd]

Audacity

pairing: Vergil x f!reader

word count: 810

warning: one (1) swear word (❍ᴥ❍ʋ) , the summary isn’t what it seems

note: also on ao3 (so when i delete shit in a fucking fit i have a copy of it lmaooo)

summary:

He hated you.

Your mere presence prompts animosity deep within him that he had to physically leave whenever you stopped by Devil May Cry. It wasn't always like that. The burn started as a mild fever on his flesh, faintly tingling on his forearms. Then it mildly spreads into a warmth that enveloped the expanse of his chest as soon as your gaze turned to him. He gets more uncomfortable as time passes, there's something about the twinkle in your eyes that unsettles him, so he avoided those first. Whenever you had tried to make conversation with him, he would always look away. He disliked the way they shine with curiosity and honesty, loathed the mischievous glint you sometimes display whenever anyone tested you.

The second was your voice.

It was like something had singed a spot on his upper torso whenever he heard you speak, always chattering the day away with his brother, trying to include him in conversations. Every time you say his name it scalded him, so he had to put a stop to it. Ignoring you was a grave mistake, it exasperated him, as you soften your voice and approached him more carefully. Siren. The final straw that broke the demon's back was the day you teetered into Devil May Cry while Dante wasn't around, carrying demonic artifacts too heavy for your frail human body. You had pushed the heavy front doors open with your back before shuffling inside, an illegal looking package hides your upper body from view. Misjudging the placement of the steps to Dante's desk made you stumble, and Vergil had sensed the content of the package would break if he didn't intervene. So he did. He steadied the large box with one hand, and grabbed your forearms harshly with the other. The skin-to-skin contact scorched him, prompting him to release his hold immediately. He cursed his fingerless gloves then and there. It awakened something primal inside him, bloodlust bloomed in his chest and the desire to perish everything in sight overwhelmed him at that moment in time. "Thank you, Vergil." Your voice softly cuts through the storm of carnage inside, slowly bringing him back from his hellscape.

Leaving Devil May Cry entirely was his only option since then.

Avoiding you did not ease his hatred by one bit, he realised. In fact, it seems to grow, like venom in his blood. You start to visit thoughts, his dreams, his subconscious. Countless nights he woke up in cold sweat hearing you call his name from afar, filled with intent, reeling him in.

One day while Dante wasn't around you had the gall, the audacity to confront him, blocking his exit. He had grabbed Yamato to open a portal--a grand gesture to settle such a petty dispute-- when you stepped forwards and grabbed at his forearm, the sudden movement caught him off guard it actually pushed his hand downwards and Yamato slid back into it’s sheathe with a click. You retracted your hand immediately as you looked up into his eyes. You have never seen anything like it. His eyes had turned inhuman, his normally steel grey eyes had turned a brilliant blue, the pupils now mere slits. But you braced yourself, mustered up all the courage you had to speak.

“You have been avoiding me.”

“And if so?” He replied coldly, averting his gaze.

“I want to know why.”

His eyes snapped back to you then, before he started to walk slowly towards you, your eyes never leaving his. The quickly dilating pupils turned his eyes dark, with only a thin ring of blue on the edges. When he backed you against the front door, you knew you were in trouble. His gaze was cold, deadly, focused.

 Shit.

“Vergil?” You swallowed thickly.

He seized your wrist, his voice a low, chilling hiss, “Never say my name again.”

Was his hatred towards you that extreme? What did you do to him, even? Why h—

All the thoughts immediately dissipate as he raised your hand close to his face and inhales.

 Demon.

With newfound bravery, you raised your chin. “Why? Does it excite you, when I call you like you’re mine?”

There was a low growl coming from his chest, and you felt a surge of heat coming off him before his skin seems to crack, revealing the burning ember underneath. You had to close your eyes as bright light surrounded you, the hold on your wrist hardening, shifting, hurting. Once the brightness had dissipated from behind your eyelids, you snuck a peek, and you were met with a large blue ‘V’. You trailed your gaze from his chest, up to see his devil form for the first time. He was all chitin and teeth, you couldn’t help but stare.

And you wanted more.

“Vergil?” You gently called out.

And thus the demon attacked.

[flightfoot]

Secrets, Lies, and Hope

AO3 Thanks to pjomlb23 for betaing! ----

Alya hummed to herself as she walked, looking at the newest footage some helpful Parisians had sent her of the latest akuma fight. 

Ladybug almost getting hit by the latest akuma, Chat Noir knocking her out of the way just in time, Ladybug casting her Lucky Charm, and the two of them using their superb teamwork to take out the villain - nothing unusual.

Yet everything had changed.

Because that wasn’t just Ladybug - superhero of Paris, her idol, and part-time teammate. It was also Marinette, rising fashion designer, lovestruck teen, and her full-time best friend.

The revelation of Ladybug’s identity and the true source of Marinette’s troubles hadn’t been as much of a surprise as she was expecting. She’d been involved with Ladybug right from the get-go, filming their very first akuma fight against Stoneheart. Over the course of Hawkmoth's reign of terror she’d gotten to know Ladybug as more than a superhero to film from afar, but as a good friend, one who was kind, caring, and clever.

As for Marinette… well, she’d been involved in many of her crazy schemes. Heck, she helped Marinette come up with Operation Secret Garden! Her taking those same schemes to akuma fights wasn’t that much of a stretch.

Her leadership skills as Ladybug weren’t a shocker either. With how calm and collected she’d been during the Darkblade fight, organizing the rest of the class to try to keep them safe, she’d demonstrated those in spades.

Once Marinette confessed, it all came together.

What could she do but give her friend - her friend twice-over in fact - a hug?

After that they’d talked for awhile, Marinette finally getting everything off her chest, for real this time, as well as telling her about some Guardian-related things she hadn’t known about before.

Her theory about there even BEING Guardians was totally correct! Point one for Alya!

She winced. ...And take away a score for hastily posting her theories on the Ladyblog, where anyone - including Hawkmoth - could read them. 

At least now she could tell Ladybug about her theories directly, and who knew - maybe even help her unmask mister Butterfly Butt! She’d already uncovered one Miraculous wielder after all. (Though she doubted Hawkmoth was quite as obviously… well, HAWKMOTH in his civilian life, as Carapace was obviously Nino).

*bump*

“OW!”

“OOOPH!”

Alya collided with someone, getting knocked to the ground. She shook her head, dazed. 

When she looked up, a sheathed fencing foil pointed at her face.

Kagami’s eyes widened as she registered Alya’s face, and that she was not a threat. Immediately she put away her foil. “I am sorry, Alya,” she said, turning away from her briskly.

Alya frowned. Kagami could be pretty standoffish, but she’d been opening up more as she spent time around other kids - especially Adrien. 

But now, she seemed as cold and detached as her initial Ice Queen reputation had suggested.

Something was definitely wrong. 

“Kagami!” 

She stopped, turning her head slightly. “What is it?”

Alya walked over to her. “I just wanted to talk. We’ve seen each other on-and-off and I’d like to get to know you better.”

Kagami turned away, facing forward, pointedly not looking at her. “I am not looking for any more friends.”

She said that last word harshly, venomously.

“Everyone needs friends,” Alya told her gently.

Kagami shook her head. “Not me. Mother was right. It only leads to disappointment - and even more when you try to become lovers”.

Oh.

Marinette was not the only girl suffering from a broken heart it seemed.

“Did something happen with Adrien?” Alya guessed. She hadn’t heard anything about Kagami and Adrien dating, but then again, she hadn’t known that Luka and Marinette were together either until Luka showed up at Marinette’s house during that call. 

Were all her friends dating on the down-low?

Kagami sat down on a nearby bench, staring down at her feet. “I knew he had reservations. He’s pulled away from me before, saying he wasn’t ready yet.”

She clenched her skirt, her fingers tightening. “If he didn’t want to spend time with me - if he’d rather be somewhere else - he could have just told me so. Should have told me, instead of just feeding me LIES!” 

Alya blinked, taken aback by Kagami’s sudden outburst. “Lies? About?”

That explained Kagami’s akumatization the other day at least. Multiple akumas on the same day weren’t exactly unknown, but two of them being her peers was more unusual - usually it was just Mr. Pigeon and some other random Parisian. 

She knew full well why Luka was akumatized of course, but hadn’t had the time or mental capacity to dive into Kagami’s akumatization, though she’d had people send info about it to the Ladyblog. She’d been a little too busy trying to puzzle out why Marinette hadn’t told her about the breakup with Luka, and then reassembling her entire worldview after that earth-shattering conversation where Marinette confessed her secret.

“Mother doesn’t like me associating with other teens for too long. She doesn’t think it’s productive. But I’d sneak around, rearrange schedules, lie so that Adrien and I could spend more time together than normally allowed, could do things besides simply fencing. We’d meet up early so we could hang out in the art room, have our drivers ‘happen’ to sync up cars for a kiss, even sneak out for ice cream! But he ditched me. Constantly. Making up excuses. Not even trying to look at me as he left!” Her voice cracked.

Alya tilted her head. “That doesn’t make sense,” she said slowly, puzzling out Kagami’s words. “Adrien loves spending time with people.”

Kagami turned away. “Not with me it seems. He dropped some bracelet while we were on the Couffaine’s houseboat. I picked it up, intending to return it to him later… after a small test.”

Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper. “Next time I saw him, I asked whether he’d found what he was looking for. He said yes.”

Kagami’s teeth ground. “A moment later he realized it wasn’t on him, and he claimed he must’ve lost it again. If I hadn’t been holding the object in his hand, I would have believed him - he’s that good a liar.”

That- that didn’t fit with the Adrien she knew. But she didn’t think Kagami was lying either.

“Do you have any idea why he’d lie?” 

Kagami shook her head. “I thought about him cheating, I know he has a crush on another girl, but-”

“WHAT?!”

Marinette had told her about the ride back from the museum, how Adrien had talked about the “girl he loved”. They’d both assumed that was Kagami.

But Adrien hadn’t actually said the girl’s name.

Was there someone else in Adrien’s life?

Kagami raised an eyebrow. “Is it really such a surprise? Granted I thought it was Marinette for awhile, what with the way he looks at her-”

Oh, Alya knew. She’d seen the doe eyes Adrien sent at Marinette anytime she did… well, anything really, and that boy needed only the slightest prompting to start waxing lyrical about how amazing Marinette was. 

“-but it quickly became apparent that Adrien had never asked Marinette out, and he had asked out this other girl, so it couldn’t be her,” Kagami concluded.

Alya furrowed her brow. “A girl that even Marinette doesn’t know about?” she wondered out loud. “How is that even possible? Heck, even Nino doesn’t know her!”

Adrien didn’t exactly get a lot of opportunities to talk to other kids - his father made sure of that. And he didn’t seem the type to fall for someone just based on their looks and two minutes of conversation, at least not long-term. 

“I don’t think he was actually cheating,” Kagami said. “He may be a liar, but I couldn’t see him doing that. I still get this sense of sincerity from him, even after that. He sees others as people, and is too empathetic for me to believe he’d do that. I got the sense that he didn’t want to lie, even if he was good at it.”

Alya nodded. “Yeah, I can’t see Adrien doing that. Not that I could see him lying either, but… something just seems off.”

She’d considered that she’d might have totally misjudged what type of person Adrien was in the past, when ‘Adrien’ sent back a nasty video reply on the anniversary of his mother’s death. 

The evidence was right there in front of her, after all.

But she’d been wrong that day. Adrien had been the kind of person he’d been shown to be over the past few months, was kind, sincere, and loved his friends. 

So if she assumed that Adrien had good intentions, that he wasn’t being awful to Kagami, that he had a good reason for always needing to ditch and make up excuses-

WAIT.

She gripped Kagami’s shoulders. “When exactly did he need to ditch? Like, what times?” she said urgently.

Kagami narrowed her eyes, giving Alya a searching look. “It changed from day to day, it was never consistent.”

“Then how about that last day you two were together? When exactly did he leave?”

Kagami hummed for a moment. “I’m not sure of the exact clock time, but… well, you saw him arrive late to that Kitty Section concert. Just a few minutes after we left the boat, we were talking, but he seemed distracted. He kept on looking behind me. I actually checked myself, but I didn’t see anything there. That’s when he made up the lie about the bracelet and raced off.”

Adrien arrived late to the Kitty Section concert… the same one Marinette was late to.

Adrien had to beat a hasty retreat from Kagami a few minutes after he’d left the Couffaine’s houseboat… which was about the time Truth showed up.

Ladybug had turned out to be Alya’s best friend. What were the chances that Chat Noir was also someone she knew?

“Are you going to tell me what you figured out?” Kagami asked her flatly.

Alya blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. “Figured out? Figured what out?”

“Don’t lie.” Kagami said harshly. “I’ve endured enough of that already.”

Alya winced. “Ok, yes, I figured something out. At least I think I did. I haven’t confirmed it, and I’m not sure I’m going to. If I’m right, then Adrien had to lie and ditch and make up those excuses, and couldn’t tell anyone safely. That’s why I’m not sure about digging further. Me knowing would be dangerous too.”

Kagami’s eyes widened in alarm. “Is he in danger?”

Alya mulled that over. “...Sort of? Yes.” Noticing Kagami putting her hand on the hilt of her blade, she hastily added, “but it’s not a danger you can save him from!”

“Do not underestimate me,” Kagami said, her voice low and dangerous. 

Considering that Kagami tried to assault Desperada with a mic stand as soon as she was in range, she might have a point.

“He’s ok for now,” Alya tried to assure her. “He has some solid backup.”

“And that doesn’t include me?” Kagami asked.

Well, actually, it does sometimes, Alya wanted to say. But that would be too much of a giveaway.

Was this what Marinette felt like all those times she had to conceal her Ladybug knowledge? It sucked.

Kagami pulled away. “I can’t do this. I already had one person keeping secrets from me. I don’t need another.”

As Kagami walked away, Alya reached out a hand… and retracted it.

She was right. Kagami had been hurt enough by secrets and lies. As much as Alya would love to be totally honest with Kagami, to bring her into the loop… she just couldn’t. It was too dangerous and not her call anyway.

But Kagami needed someone. She was more alone than anyone else she knew, especially since her relationship with Adrien ended.

Hm… 

Maybe Kagami couldn’t spend that much time with others as Kagami...

But Ryuuko was a different story.

And if Marinette could bring back Rena Rouge even after having her identity exposed… why not? At least getting her occasionally. 

Alya turned to head towards the bakery.

Hopefully soon, the dragon would rejoin the cat and ladybug in protecting Paris, getting to spend time with her friends once again.

This time, at least getting to know why there were secrets between them, even if those secrets had to remain.

[therealvinelle]

“By contrast, I can think of characters who resemble most other Twilight characters with a relative amount of ease.”

You put this at the end of an ask and was just wondering if you would please elaborate? Have a lovely day

(Anon is referring to this post.) Do you ever look at two characters, realize they have a few things in common, then blink, take a step back, and realize that they really do have an awful lot in common? That they're more or less the same person, only in different circumstances? The same archetype, at the very least.

I'm open to the possibility that you'll say no, @thecarnivorousmuffinmeta and I are strange people who see strange things.

All the same, here are a few examples.

Also, this contains spoilers for the animes Fate/Zero, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, and Revolutionary Girl Utena, as well as the play Vildanden, the book Candide, and the show I, Claudius.

Aro: Kiritsugu Emiya from Fate/Zero.

Kiritsugu is a highly effective assassin whose defining trait, and curse, is his willingness to commit any atrocity in the name of the greater good. His ambition is to save the world. Over the course of the series he sacrifices his father, surrogate mother, best friend, wife, and daughter, and treats everybody else like chess pieces. It will all be worth it when he has saved the world.

He is the opposite of Bella, who would let anything burn for the sake of her loved ones. Kiritsugu loves fiercely, but he will sacrifice that which is most precious to him with a steady hand.

Aro has that same ruthlessness combined with idealism. He sacrifices his sister and is willing to kill his only friend as well, to say nothing of the many other things he has done. He creates child vampires and will kill anyone who stands in his way. This is what he must do to gain and maintain power.

Aro and Kiritsugu will sacrifice anything and anybody if they perceive it to be beneficial to their goal, a goal they happen to share.

Also Aro: Claudius from I, Claudius.

Cladius is the emperor of Rome not because he wishes to be, but because the moment he steps off the throne, Rome will fall to pieces.

Aro did seek out the throne, Claudius very much did not. However, both are in the precarious situation where they can never leave their respective thrones. Rome would fall to pieces without Claudius, and the world would burn without Aro.

Also Aro: Voldemort in an AU where he won.

We're deep in la la AU land now.

But, Aro had to commit atrocities to get to the throne, we only meet him millennia later when his rule is secure. A post-victory Voldemort (and I here mean years and years and years have passed) would be a figure quite similar to Aro. A harsh, uncompromising leader, yet he’s been around for long enough to shape the world into what he wants it to be, people don’t remember that it was once different, and he is regarded as the distant, yet necessary leader.

Bella: Hedda Gabler from Vildanden.

Hedda finds out she's a child born of infidelity, and that her father no longer loves her. Wanting to win back his love she kills herself. Bella, too, has that utter lack of self-love, that willingness to sacrifice herself, and it’s all too easy for her to believe Edward never loved her. Both Hedda and Bella fail to understand there are people who love and would miss them

Also Bella: Homura Akemi from Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

This is not an obvious one.

But they both have that uncompromising drive to do anything and everything for the one they love, and by love I mean the one they fixate everything they are or have ever been upon. Homura, over the course of P3M, goes from wanting to use time travel to save everybody, to being content with saving only Madoka. She will destroy herself for Madoka in a very literal sense, seeing no worth at all in her own survival.

Give Bella a time machine and a timeloop where Edward always dies at the end, and she will go down Homura’s path.

Caius: Every warrior king ever. Ooh and he and Iskandar (again from Fate/Zero) have very similar vibes, although they're far from the same character.

Iskandar believes that kingship and leadership is not about being noble or virtuous or showing a good example to your people, it's about strength, conquest, and glorious victory.

Caius, I imagine, would heartily agree with that.

Carlisle: I love Carlisle, but there are Carlisles everywhere, especially in anime. Utena Tenjou from Revolutionary Girl Utena comes to mind in particular, though.

Utena begins her story as a righteous and brave girl who wants to be a prince. She wants this without quite understanding what it truly means to be noble, nor does she know what it means to save a person.

Her desire to save Anthy is especially this. Anthy is a traditional damsel in distress at the beginning of the story, and Utena is so eager to save her that she never takes what Anthy herself into account. She judges herself harshly for this failure, but comes to understand what it truly means to save Anthy in the end.

Carlisle has that same nobility and willingness to do good, he is the moral compass of those around him, but all the same he is hoodwinked and does not always know where best to thread. His rescue of Rosalie is a good example of this, he saw a young woman who’d been raped to death, and did the only thing he could to help her, only to learn this wasn’t what she wanted.

Also Carlisle: god, so many characters.

Shirou from Now and Then, Here and There. Suffers a ridiculous amount, but never loses his goodness and insists even in the most extreme circumstances upon the inalienable worth of human life.

Duck from Princess Tutu. Never uses violence or even powers to win against her opponents. She talks to them, finds out why they're unhappy, and wins through healing them. They become friends with her after.

Akane Tsunemori from Psycho-Pass. In a world where people’s souls can be calculated mathematically, Akane Tsunemori is objectively a good person, empirically proven to be incorruptible. That’s her defining trait, no matter what she endures she never loses her upstanding morals. The kind of person who wouldn’t succumb to the lure of human blood.

Just gonna drop the fact that Carlisle’s hair and eyes are the same color, Edward with his vampire sight notes that they’re only one shade apart. The guy is a misplaced anime character.

Oh, and Candide from Voltaire’s Candide. This is just a loose association, but “beautiful blond man travels the world, meets people who are over the top cartoonishly miserable (just... multiply Meyer’s backstories with each other and add 10. Victoria’s life + Rosalie’s life + Esme’s life + their mother is pushed off a cliff by dalmatians) but he carries on with a big smile, and eventually settles down with his found family of hilariously wretched people” gives me Carlisle vibes.

Edward: He's so many people and in so many different ways, oh my god.

He's a mommy's boy who cries because I'M A MONSTER - Buster Bluth. Arrested Development.

He thinks too highly of himself - Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter.

He GOBs - George Oscar "GOB" Bluth. Again Arrested Development.

He appears normal to the outside world, yet there's a complete meltdown with incoherent rants, strong opinions about music, and strong disturbing tendencies towards violence he may or may not act on - Patrick Bateman from American Psycho.

He's weird about women, mother figures, himself, and violent. Creepy yet undeniably charming - Norman Bates from Psycho.

The way he regards Bella - strong Humbert Humbert from Lolia vibes. Replace "nymphet" with "singer" and there you go.

Really, though, with Edward, he is like these yet unlike them all. He’s... he’s a lot.

Emmett: Much like how Caius is a warrior king, Emmett is Frat Bro™.

Jasper: Clint Eastwood for reasons outlined in this post.

Marcus: Arwen after Aragorn inevitably dies.

A sad sad elf who's fading away.

Rosalie: Cordelia Chase from Buffy

Speaks her mind, no matter how brutal it is or how little people want to hear it. She does not forgive those who wrong her, she is proud, and most importantly, she is misjudged. Her beautiful appearance and bitchy veneer make her easy to dismiss, but once the going gets tough she is a deeply good person. She’ll make bitchy comments about watching your back, but watch it she does.

-

I also do this with ships. Aro/Carlisle are a great match for Dorian Gray and Lord Henry, if Lord Henry had failed to corrupt Dorian Gray and been delighted by that fact.

I have other examples, but they go weird places so let’s not.

TL;DR: I'm Miss Marple.

[7wanderingpaws]

Always, yours (3)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

AU: professor Baekhyun, domestic AU, family AU, triplet craze AU

Word count: 4.8K

Warnings: none

tags: @geniusloey​ (let me know if you want to be added!)

Masterlist / story masterlist

<--Previous - Next -->

You were crying and everything was a disaster. The baby corner was full of onlookers and you never hated your life as much  as you did in that moment.

Upon hearing small gurgles of your son, you ran the remaining distance, taking your scared, crying son from Sonhee’s hold. She handed Jun without any question and you quickly cuddled Jun to your chest, your tears of fear and worry rolling down your cheeks without you realizing.

You were mad at yourself. So, so mad. How could you leave the weakest baby alone with a stranger? How could you forget to tell them not to feed him without your presence?

You bit your lip harshly as you heard Sukyeong sending everyone away. She was then talking to someone quietly but you wouldn’t pay attention. Jun was now a whimpering mess, his ear-piercing screams coming to a halt when he felt your presence.

“Oh, what a young mother,” someone muttered from behind you, a hushed whisper still caught by your ears. “No wonder she isn’t doing well yet without experience.”

More tears welled up in your eyes. Even though you couldn’t see clearly, you looked at Jun’s face, his father’s eyes looking back at you. How come baby’s tears could be so big? They were rolling down, taking up a huge space on his small, red cheeks.

“It’s okay, mummy’s here,” you murmured quickly kissing the tears away. Carefully cradling the back of his head, you brought him to your neck so he wouldn’t be exposed to other intrusive eyes. Juna and Junhee were restless as they were held by Sonhee and Mrs Lee in the meantime.

What to do? You were thinking frantically. The only thing that came to your mind was to go home. Obviously staying in this gym wasn’t doing you nor the kids any good.

“Sukyeong,” you muttered, not turning. The wall you were facing was a pastel blue but it didn’t do anything to calm you down. “I’m going to go home. Can you bring me my stuff?”

“I’ll take you-“

“I’ll take you home,” a familiar male voice spoke up out of nowhere. 

Slightly turning, you saw Lee Junho looking at you with worried eyes. When you didn’t respond, instead holding your son closer to you, he added: “I’m the owner of this gym and I feel responsible. Please let me take care of this by giving you a lift.” He turned to Sukyeong who was a little taken aback. “You may go back and resume the workout with Kanghee, she will finish the class for me.”

“But she is my best friend, I’ll take care-“

“I insist.”

You wiped your eyes, realizing you’d been shedding tears the whole time with your heart broken. Jun was finally quiet but he managed to pee himself in the ruckus so you nodded quickly, agreeing: “Go finish the workout Sukyeonga. I’ll take up on Mr Lee’s request.”

“Are you sure?”

You nodded and reached for the baby bag you always carried around. “Yeah. It’s no problem. I’ll be back, I’ll just change his nappy and clothes. Please watch out for the girls until then.”

</3

“I thought you were just a university student,” spoke up Junho as he was driving slowly towards your home. “You are so young I-” he stopped himself, growing speechless as he gently shook his head.

Jun was tied to your chest in the baby carrier while both girls were in the backseat, safely in their baby carrier baskets. It was a headache to install all of it in Junho's car but you didn't mind as long as he would take you home and you wouldn't ever see him again.

Only now, as you were seated with some time to think were you reminded to look at your phone. You wanted Baekhyun to come downstairs to help you with the kids, only to feel like crying again when you finally read his messages he sent you before you started your class but didn't read.

I know you know it but make sure to remind them not to feed Jun just in case we never know when the reflux hits again  and I'm worried about him since you won't be there

“Sorry, I keep blabbering,” laughed awkwardly Junho and you looked at him. He was staring ahead, sometimes looking out his window as if unsure where to look. “So you're a mother. Of triplets. Wow… Anyway, how many months young are they?”

You heaved out a small sigh and managed to smile, liking to talk about your munchkins. “They are only three months old. And before you go and judge me about leaving them alone, I double-checked with the baby corner whether they are able to take care of the kids.”

“Well, my mother - Mrs Lee - is in charge of the baby corner. She is an expert when it comes to babies,” he said and you felt even worse that he was blaming himself when in fact it was all your  fault. “Sonhee is also great with babies.”

“It isn't their fault at all. It's mine,” you admitted and looked down at Jun's face. He was sleeping peacefully, cuddled to your neck, his gentle baby smell and baby powder you used calming down your senses for a minute. “I should have mentioned he has problems with accepting food.” Plus, the words of a stranger woman came back flooding your already beaten up mind. Oh, what a young mother. No wonder she isn’t doing well yet without experience.

“I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you,” murmured back Junho, not wanting to disturb the babies. “Sorry if I am being too nosy but what about their father? Did he leave you?”

“Oh, no, he is at work. Well, he should be home by now,” you said quietly, frowning. “But he usually works a little late so-”

“-so you're alone with the kids the whole time,” finished Junho, his voice somehow accusatory.

You stole a glance his way again, catching the tighter grip on the steering wheel. “Well, someone has to feed us.”

This time, Junho looked at you and caught you gazing down at your son. “Many men just do that - knock up a woman and then let her take care of the mess while they live freely.”

You frowned. “I know my husband for many years, Junho,” you told him in a cold voice, a little disappointed he thought of you or Baekhyun in such a way, let alone thinking of your blessings as a mess, “and he does his best for me and our kids.”

Junho was once again shocked, shooting you a wary glance. “You're married, too?”

“Yes,” you snapped, “I don't wear my ring for the workouts, you know?”

“I'm sorry-”

“It's fine,” you sighed, running your hand through your messy hair.

“I misjudged.”

“I thought people like you shouldn't be so fast to judge.”

“You're right. It is just worrisome to see you so young with triplets alone.”

“I wasn't alone,” you reminded, “I was with Sukyeong.”

“But it should be their father who is by your side.”

You only hummed, not wanting to talk about your personal life with a stranger. Sure, a handsome one but he was a stranger. When you recognized the neighbourhood, you unlocked your phone quickly, kissing Jun's temple in the process. With a little shock, you noticed your hands shaking. It must have been the stress. “I'll call my husband so he can come downstairs.”

Junho was silent but he nodded nonetheless. Baekhyun's phone rang four times already but he wasn't picking up. Frowning, you were about to put the phone back down when he suddenly picked it up. The background on his side was so loud, you accidentally pressed the “speaker” option, Baekhyun's voice filling up the whole space in the car.

“Sweetheart, I'm not home yet, sorry!” he said and you heard some clinking of cups in the background. “I was dragged to dinner with my colleagues but I'll try to come home soon, alright?”

Your throat restricted, lump rising as you tried to put it back to silence.

“Are you home, yet?” asked Baekhyun when you didn't reply.

“Yeah, I finished a little earlier,” you told him and finally managed to put the volume down. Pressing the phone to your ear, you saw Junho speeding up to enter the underground carpark. “Don't worry, I'll be waiting home.”

“Is all good?” he asked, his voice more serious.

Your eyes were hurting from the burning tears so you closed them, praying you wouldn't start crying again in front of Junho. “Yes! All is fine!” you replied, too cheerfully. “See you soon, honey.”

“Alright, I trust you,” he added with emphasis. It was supposed to be a small threat in case you wouldn't be telling the truth and you knew you would hear it from him once he'd find out you lied, but you couldn't care less in that moment. “Love you, baby.”

You swallowed. “Love you, too.”

As soon as you ended the call, Junho said: “I'll help you with the kids.”

You nibbled on your lower lip. “Thank you.”

</3

It was an uneasy feeling; arriving into an empty apartment with the lights off. The heat of the summer evening was hitting the space which made you head straight for the air conditioner in the living room, Jun in your tight grip.

“Don't worry, you can come in with shoes,” you said hurriedly to Junho who was shuffling at the entrance, trying to take off his trainers while having a baby bag over his shoulder and two babies in the carriers.

“It's okay,” you heard a smile in his voice and by the time you appeared in the corridor leading to the entrance door, he was already walking in, looking around with focus and unhidden interest. “You have a really nice apartment.”

You smiled, saying a small thank you, and headed to the baby room, telling him to follow you. The gentle smell of baby powder welcomed you when you entered and turned on the lights. “You can just put them down here and I will take care of the rest.”

Junho clicked his tongue and lowered the carriers on the fluffy carpet, but he proceeded by crouching down and unbuckling the sleeping babies. “How could I just go? Let me at least help unpack.”

You stood unsurely above him. You knew as a mother you should be fast to take charge and get everything done according to your rules, but for some reason, you couldn't. Junho was very careful with the babies as he undid the belts and when he looked up at you, he froze. “What?”

Almost rigidly, you shook your head not wanting him to misunderstand whatever he was interpreting in his mind. “No, no, nothing! I mean - thank you for coming all the way up here and of course for driving me home.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” And just like that, he brought sleeping Juna out and with one questioning glance, you navigated him to put the baby in the crib, soon following with Junhee's sleeping form. “Do you want me to put these somewhere?” He pointed to the now empty baby carriers.

You smiled gratefully. Junho really seemed to want to help.  “That's fine, I'll do it.”

He nodded and soon enough, silence spread over the baby room. Jun was awake but as usual, he didn't make a sound and only this once you wished he would, so that you'd have a good excuse to start moving around and do what you originally intended. Jun needed feeding despite vomiting everything before.

“I'm going to go then,” he said after a small while. You already felt bad for not being able to host him properly enough but with Jun still on your mind and worried eating you away, you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

You nodded and when he moved out of the room, you spoke up. “I am not going to come anymore. I mean - to exercise.”

Junho turned around with a little shock. “If it's about what happened today, then don't worry about it. It's only normal.”

“No, it isn't normal,” you sighed, dejected. “Babies are still too young and Jun is quite sicklish. I forgot to tell the babysitter not to feed him. I'm so irresponsible.”

Junho was fast to spot the utter guilt in your eyes and the way you avoided his gaze. Frowning on the ground, you pursed your lips while gently running your hand over Jun's butt. He would always thought you looked beautiful and cute in that moment with the baby, but he knew it must have been difficult on you as a mother of triplets at such a young age.

“I don't know much about you,” he started gently, “in fact I wish I knew more because you seem to be interesting. But you are doing everything by yourself. You spend days alone with them and you probably have a head full of worries and three kinds of checklists that you mentally tick off. I won't judge nor mind if you don't want to exercise anymore. But maybe once your little ones grow bigger you can come back and I will gladly make the best work-out routine for you. Your body is your everything. Don't neglect it.”

Even though he could have saved that last sentence, Junho's words made you think; even more so that they were more accurate than you would have expected from a man who didn't have kids yet on his own. At least you thought he didn't have.

“Thanks a lot,” you smiled again, but the more the meeting prolonged the less you felt like it. A good cry was what you needed. “I'll reach out once I will be ready again.”

He nodded and started to put on his trainers. “I wish you all the best,” he said once he straightened up to his full length.

You nodded and let him out of the apartment. “Take care.”

He turned around just in the last moment, startling you. “I'll be waiting for you.”

Breath hitched in your throat and you could only manage to look at him speechlessly.

“At the gym! Of course at the gym!” he added quickly, laughing when he saw the expression on your face. He looked incredibly handsome when he laughed and his awkwardness made you heave out a little laugh as well.

“Okay, I'll meet you much later at the gym,” you replied, still smiling.

“That's good enough.”

</3

It was quite late when Baekhyun arrived home. The apartment was dark and quiet and he mentally cursed for not being on time again.

He went straight to your shared bedroom, not wanting to wake the triplets by accident and when he opened the door, your dim bedside lamp greeted him. With it you lying on your side and next to your chest a peacefully sleeping Jun. He was surprised to find the baby with you in your bed.

“Baby, I’m home,” he whispered, hoping you weren’t asleep yet.

You hummed, opening your eyes to see his suit-clad figure. He walked over to your side and hovered over you, looking at Jun and then at your side profile. He trailed his hand over your arm soothingly.

“Baby, why is Jun here?” He looked over his son again. “Did something happen?”

“All is good,” you said, your voice heavy with upcoming sleep.

Baekhyun understood you didn’t want to talk. He expected you to be hurt or even offended that he didn’t let you know on time about his delay. He always felt guilty for leaving you to be with triplets the whole time by yourself.

“I’ll go shower, you sleep,” he mumbled eventually when he didn’t receive more of an answer. A hum met his ears and he pressed a small kiss to the side of your face before taking off the suit jacket. He was unbuttoning his shirt when you took Jun into your arms, wanting to bring him to his crib.

Without sparing Baekhyun a glance, you walked past him and he took a hold of your waist gently, stopping you from leaving. Your tired eyes met his before you let them look at his exposed chest, the shirt still hanging off his wide shoulders. “You’re mad, right?”

“I’m not mad, Baekhyun. I’m tired.”

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I know I promised you that I’ll be home by-“

“You didn’t promise anything,” you interrupted him quietly. “You said you’d try to make it home earlier and I'm sure you did.” You hesitated. “Let me put Jun into bed. I need to lie down, too. It's late.”

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry,” he said in a hushed tone and he sighed.

You managed to smile and shook your head before walking ahead and out of the bedroom, Jun still in your tight grip. Maybe it was the shock of the day that you didn't want to tell Baekhyun what happened. But you were certain you were mad at yourself more than at anyone else and you were positive Baekhyun would be extremely dissatisfied if he found out how irresponsible you were. You had a heavy heart and you wanted to keep to yourself for the time being. Jun was all fine, thankfully, which was the only reason you could put him to sleep separately from you. The idea of something happening to him again while you weren't present was probably the first issue that would come to haunt you in the future as a mother. This was how it felt like; leaving your kid and always hoping they would be fine without you.

By the time you came back, Baekhyun was in the shower. The constant buzz of the running water quickly lulled you to sleep, your mind and body completely exhausted from the day’s events. This one time you couldn't wait up for him. You were practically a walking zombie when you landed on your side of the bed.

Even when your husband joined you in bed, rushing to scoop you up in his arms so he could envelope himself around you like a koala to his eucalyptus tree. He sighed in content but he knew he would have a talk with you in the morning.

<3

It was only by Saturday when you actually talked. Baekhyun didn't want to wake you after being woken up on Friday early in the morning to feed, and then you slept yet again when he was about to leave for work. Your quietness was very unusual to him.

He made sure to bring the monitor to his side and tried to sleep as lightly as possible so that if the munchkins were up, he'd be there first. The bags under your eyes, and your eyes themselves not having the typical spark made him very worried. You needed to rest and he would try his best to let you.

Currently, he was having a good chat with the triplets, even though one was already crying - Junhee, of course - because he was trying to feed Juna who started the ruckus first. Thankfully, he closed the door to the babies' room, so he didn't have to worry about their wailing waking you up.

But boy, was it difficult to satisfy them. He opted to heat up another bottle of milk and he was now balancing them in both hands, trying to safely feed both of the hungry mouths. Baekhyun prayed Jun wouldn't follow his sisters' lead as he observed him for a moment before focusing back on his daughters.

“Are you always giving this much of a hard time to mummy whenever I'm not here?” he murmured but an affectionate smile stretched his lips. Juna and Junhee were adorable as he was staring down at them, their eyes wide open while looking at their father. Their cheeks were pinkish and puffy, their soft hair a little messy and pressed in funny ways from sleeping  which made Baekhyun's heart swell with love. Whenever their small fingers tapped on his long fingers, he would try to caress their hands with it.

“After this, it's nappy-change time,” he told them seriously. “No exceptions, okay?”

Juna was gulping down like crazy, and whenever she swallowed hard, she exhaled loudly and Baekhyun eventually chuckled. “You are definitely daddy's little girl. Daddy also eats too fast but watch out - don't want your tummy to hurt, hm, little Juna?”

When he was sure that both babies were well-fed, he threw a small glance at Jun who was still too peaceful. He wasn't asking for food and neither was he asking for attention. “Junnie, what's wrong?” he asked quietly, worry laced in his voice, and lifted him out of his crib. “Why are you so quiet? You don't want some yummy milk?” He brought the bottle up to his face, pressing the pacifier to the top of his lips. Jun was only bulging his eyes at his father, as if unsure what to do with the bottle. “You don't want a sip?”

Jun averted his gaze, observing everything around him in quietness. He was moving around in Baekhyun's arms, most probably meaning he was a little restless, so Baekhyun put him back down into the crib, hoping he would make a scene, but Jun only looked at the small toys that he had hovering above him. To make it more interesting for him, Baekhyun pushed a few of them, letting them dingle gently and taking Jun's attention.

Baekhyun sighed, unsure. While the babies were still in their peaceful mode after changing their nappies, he left them and went straight back to the kitchen to wash up the bottles and prepare some breakfast for the both of you, wanting to surprise you with breakfast in bed.

Of course, he underestimated the whole situation. It was now way past 8am and you were up, and rubbing your eyes at the bar table separating the kitchen from the open living room. “Honey, why didn't you wake me?” you asked, your voice still heavily laced with sleep.

Baekhyun turned his head to the left as he was washing the tomatoes. “Sweetheart, go back to bed. I'll bring the food to the bedroom,” he told you and turned the water off.

Not listening, you tapped over to him, observing and trying to decode his recipe, but Baekhyun put down the vegetables, turned to you and held you by your upper arms. “You. Bed. Now.”

“I'm fine, honey,” you insisted tiredly. “Let me just help you out- oh, and what about the triplets?”

“I took care of them,” he said somewhat proudly, happy that it was finally him attending to them while you could keep on sleeping.

You sighed. “You should be resting. You work a lot during the week-”

“And you cannot escape your work at all,” cut in Baekhyun, frowning. “I'm not going to ask you what has been bothering you the past couple of days, but let me at least help out like this.”

Instantly, you felt guilty. You were so tired you managed to forget your heavy emotions in your deep slumber. They all came back to you, taking a good, comfortable seat in the depths of your chest, no signs of leaving whatsoever. Not until you resolved them at least.

“I don't want to lie down,” you still protested and Baekhyun observed you for a moment, trying to see through you. Without another word, you stepped closer and hugged him, your arms stretching so you could connect your hands on his wide back. He didn't hesitate, and brought you to him, pecking the top of your head.

“What's the matter, hm,” he hummed softly into your ear. “You haven't been yourself.”

“I messed up,” you murmured into his chest and when he wanted to pull away, you squeezed him tighter, making him groan in mock hurt. “No, just stay like this a little longer.”

He brought up his hand to your head and gently caressed your hair. “How did you mess up?”

You took a deep breath. “I am a bad mother, Baekhyun. I can't do this.”

“No, sweetheart, that's nonsense and you know it, too,” he said, this time really trying to pry your arms away from him but you wouldn't budge, persisting on holding onto him. He tried again, but gave up when you shimmied yourself closer, causing him to step backwards. He sighed affectionately, his hand going back up to caress you.

“Jun got sick while I was working out and well… yeah, that happened. So I had to come home earlier on Thursday.”

Baekhyun tensed slightly at your words, but was fast to ease up. His son was alright now. There was no need to overreact. “Did Sukyeong bring you home then?” he asked, trying to sound unbothered.

It was your turn to tense up now. Baekhyun felt it, but did not comment, instead waited patiently for your answer. “The trainer brought me home,” you mumbled and he desperately wanted to see your face, but you were still glued to his chest. “But don't worry. I'm not going to work out anymore. Not until the munchkins are bigger at least.”

“Let me look at you, princess,” Baekhyn requested, tapping your butt gently. “C'mon, don't hide.”

You squeezed him one last time before slowly disattaching yourself, your big, sad eyes looking up at him while your lower lip was trapped under your teeth. “I'm sorry for disappointing you.”

He gave you a gentle smile as he cupped your face, breathing a kiss on your forehead. “Is this what's been bothering you?” You nodded, still bulging your eyes at him. “I'm such a jerk,” he sighed eventually, “it should have been me who brings you home on Thursday. Instead I came home super late and had you deal with everything by yourself.”

You started to shake your head violently. “No, Baekhyun, no, this isn't your fault.”

“Did the trainer come up here?” he shot quickly, raising an inquisitive eyebrow at you.

You shrugged. “He helped me bring the triplets up. So he had to come in.” You went on to explain to him what actually happened that day, keeping Baekhyun's eager eye contact the whole time. “I forgot to tell them,” you admitted, devastated. “I'm so frigging irresponsible.”

“That's why you had Junnie with you when I came back?” he asked quietly, brushing your hair behind your ear.

You nodded, pressing your lips together in anxiety.

Baekhyun sighed. “Let's take him to the doctor's, hm?” he suggested and when he saw you nod again, he brought you back into a bear hug, your arms immediately sneaking around him. “And then you, little lady, will go to the doctor's about your breast milk, got it?” he asked, more seriously. He still didn't let the topic go but since you were both dealing with the problems now, he wanted to bring it up. “You're leaking too much and it's causing you discomfort. I don't care if you don't want help, but you need to see the doctor to make sure everything is in normal with your body.”

You pouted up at him and he chuckled softly, caressing your cheek. “Okay, you're right,” you eventually gave in and Baekhyun's smile grew even more, very much satisfied with your answer.

“That's my baby girl,” he breathed, pecking you on the lips.

“Sorry for not telling you sooner.”

“You needed time to process, there is no need to apologize for that. It's my fault for letting my colleagues drag me when I knew I had responsibilities.”

Once again you cuddled yourself to him, and Baekhyun laughed again, humming in satisfaction when he had you like this. It was only until there was a knock on the entrance door, with it the doorbell ringing through the quiet apartment. If that wasn't enough to surprise you, the babies' reaction to the doorbell wasn't good, either, for at least two babies woke up right away, their whimpers coming in through the monitor.

You separated, moving to tend to the babies while Baekhyun went for the door. You were shushing Junhee, the forever crybaby, only calming down when she was finally in your grasp. Too curious as to who was the unexpected guest, you went to the room's door, peeking over the door frame just to completely freeze.

Baekhyun was facing Lee Junho, your trainer.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

A/N: Did you figure out the usage of "<3 and </3" ??? Huhu ^^ 

[pikapeppa]

Solavellan smut: Three Times

The final chapter of Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This is up on AO3! In which @elbenherzart‘s Nare Lavellan and Solas FINALLY fall into bed together. FINALLY. 

It’s quite long that’s what she said; >10k words. Do people like chapters of this length being posted in full on Tumblr? Either way, it’s on AO3 as well.

************************

Going to Nare’s quarters was a foolish idea.

Solas padded silently up the stairs. With every step he took, he told himself he ought to turn around. He ought to go back to the rotunda and sink his focus into the pile of tomes on his desk. He ought to be learning more about the use and misuse of magic in this world so he could dismantle his most egregious mistake as painlessly as possible. 

But his bare feet kept carrying him forward, and he continued making his way up the stairs to Nare’s quarters. 

It was strange, that: to think that these familiar steps to that familiar spacious bedroom now belonged to Nare, not to him. It wasn’t that Solas was sorry to pass this legacy on to her, not by any means; he had done all that he could with Tarasyl’an Te’las. It was only fitting that any further memories to embed themselves in these ancient stones would be created by the woman who unwittingly bore his mark.

The same woman whose torrid taste still lingered in his mind. 

A pulse of lust dropped into his belly like a gulp of hot soup, and Solas paused on the stairs. It had been several hours since Nare had spread her legs for him on the desk in the basement library, hours since he had gloried in the softness of her lips and the perfect canvas of her skin, and still he was incapable of ejecting the thoughts of her from his mind. 

He ought to turn around. He ought to return to the rotunda and to his studies. 

For a suspended moment of time, Solas stood unmoving on the stairs, paralyzed by the weight of what he knew he ought to do. Then his feet kept carrying him up the steps. 

A minute later, he knocked on the door to Nare’s bedroom. When she opened the door a second later, the smile that bloomed across her face was a mixture of relief and nerves that made his heart ache. 

“Solas!” she breathed. “Come on in.” She hurried up the final set of stairs into the bedroom, and Solas followed her at a more sedate pace. 

He looked around surreptitiously as he stepped into the bedroom proper. The decor was… far different than it had once been. The hearth was in the same place, but Solas had kept his bed on the upper level. And here on the lower level, he had once had a small waterfall that flowed into a tidy little pond and then back up to feed the waterfall itself. It was an elegant and admittedly frivolous piece of magic that fed itself on a perpetual loop, a little project that he’d painstakingly constructed on a particularly lonely night, and it was the one indulgence he had permitted himself to keep throughout the ages. Even when the war against the Evanuris had grown so terrible that he was barely able to spend any time in the privacy of this room, the waterfall had remained intact: an attempt at keeping some peace somewhere, despite the increasing ferocity of the war. 

Now, the miniature waterfall was gone, destroyed like every other subtle work of magic that the Veil had sundered. In its place was a bed: Nare’s bed, made up with simple but comfortable-looking coverlets in shades of aqua and seafoam-green. And standing at the foot of the bed was Nare herself. 

Her expression was apprehensive. Solas tilted his head.  “Are you all right?” he asked. 

“Are you staying?” she said bluntly.

He raised his eyebrows. “I beg your pardon?”

She winced. “I – damn it.” She rubbed her arms nervously. “I just… when I asked you if you wanted to be with me, you – you didn’t – um… fenedhis.” She let out a self-deprecating little laugh. “I’m being foolish. I’m sorry. Do you want some coffee? I’ve banished all tea from this room for the rest of the night, don’t worry.” She gestured at the desk, where a tray with a cafetière sat with two cups and saucers. 

Despite her obvious nerves, her smile was hopeful and warm, and her teasing reference to his disdain for tea… Nare really did see him as a normal man. She truly saw him as a friendly companion and not as an ineffable figure of power to be revered or reviled. 

He gazed at her with a terrible sort of warmth in his chest – terrible in that it felt so good. In the space of these few short months, Nare’s companionship had become so dear to him, and he couldn’t fathom how it had happened. No matter how many hours he spent trying to rid his mind of her while painting his murals, or how many nights he spent pondering this problem while lying awake in bed, he hadn’t come any closer to understanding how he had allowed this to happen. How had he become so hopelessly fascinated by a native denizen of this infuriatingly static world? How had he become so thoroughly ensnared by someone whose existence was premised on his greatest mistake? 

Was it possible that the magic of his mark had somehow made her feel more like home to him? Perhaps this was why he had allowed her to become so familiar.

“What were you like before the anchor?” he asked abruptly. 

She blinked, so he pressed on. “Has it affected you?” he said. “Changed you in any way? Your mind, your morals, your… spirit?” 

Nare frowned slightly and nibbled her lip in thought, and Solas turned away to avoid staring at the lushness of her lips. He wandered restlessly toward the west-facing balcony, and Nare followed him. When they were standing on the balcony in the fresh mountain air, she spoke. “I… can’t really say. A lot of things in my life have changed, beyond just having the anchor,” she said. “Travelling on my own, making friends with shemle– er, humans, having people looking at me like a political figure…” She grimaced and leaned her elbows on the balcony railing. “So much has changed since I was with my clan. If I’ve changed, how could I know for sure if those changes are because of the mark, or because of everything else changing too?”

He raised his eyebrows appreciatively. “That’s an excellent point,” he said. Truly, he was impressed by how analytical her answer was. And even with the analytical and accurate nature of her answer, she hadn’t quite answered his question at all. 

It was a masterful response. Wise, careful, open to multiple possibilities… 

His heart throbbed again, and he rubbed his forehead. It was unfathomable, and it shouldn’t be possible, but he couldn’t deny the way she made him feel. He couldn’t keep trying to dodge it. Solas had never been one to bury his head in the sand. He may once have been impulsive and quick to plunge in headfirst, but hiding and dodging from ugly truths? That was not how the Dread Wolf operated. 

Not until recently, at least, with his admittedly juvenile attempts to avoid Nare. Now, as he stood in front of her gazing into her lucid aquamarine eyes, he could not hide from the most terrible truth he’d had to face in several thousand years. 

Nare Lavellan was real. She was incredibly, unfathomably, breathtakingly real. And Solas was hopelessly and terribly in love with her. 

She took a small step closer to him. “Solas, is something wrong?”

Yes, he thought. I am enthralled by you, and it is the worst thing that could have happened to us both.

He folded his hands behind his back. “You have shown a wisdom I have not seen since… since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade,” he told her. “You are not what I expected.”

“What did you expect?” she asked.

I expected ignorance, he thought. Ignorance was all that he had encountered in the year before his agents had led Corypheus to the orb, after all.

He began pacing slowly on the balcony. “Most people are predictable,” he said. “You have shown subtlety in your actions. A wisdom that goes against everything I expected.” He rubbed his chin, then forced himself to ask her the question he really didn’t want the answer to. “If the Dalish could raise someone with a spirit like yours, have I misjudged them?”

She pulled a little face and shrugged. “I don’t know, Solas. I didn’t meet the Dalish that you did. I can only speak for my clan, and I like to think they’d have listened to your stories.”

“They are not stories,” he said, more harshly than he intended. “They are memories collected during my journeys in the Fade.”

Her expression grew apprehensive once more. “I know. I didn’t mean… I don’t mean ‘stories’ in a bad way. Any good story is like a pearl, right? Under all the shiny layers, there’s a grain of truth.” She smiled tentatively. “That’s what Deshanna always says, anyway.”

Solas gave her a sharp look. “Is that what you believe, as well?” he said. “That a story represents the truth shrouded in layers of fantasy and misdirection?”

She frowned slightly, and her eyes moved carefully over his face. “You could put it that way, yes,” she said. “But I think Deshanna’s way of saying it sounds nicer.” She offered him a soft and hopeful smile. 

He gazed down at her with an ache in his chest. If only she knew. If only she was aware that some of the most stubbornly held Dalish myths were seeded in a truth so close and so tangible that she could literally touch.  

He bowed his head and turned away from her to pace some more, but she suddenly grabbed his hand. “Solas, please,” she said. “Please don’t leave.”

That was the problem; he hadn’t been trying to leave. It was no longer his intention to leave her room, if he had ever even truly intended to leave. 

“Please,” she said. “Please look at me.”

Her voice was strained now, and Solas finally raised his eyes to her face. Her beautiful face that was bursting with hope and vitality and more wisdom than anyone in this static world had any right to have… 

She took a step closer to him. “I want to be with you,” she said. “I can’t stand the… not knowing. I just – I need to know. Do you…” She took a shaky breath. “Do you want to be with me?”

I do, he thought. More than anything, he wanted to be with her. But he didn’t have the right. The Dread Wolf had forfeited the right to have anything he wanted the moment he’d saved his people and doomed them in the same catastrophic stroke. 

He released a slow breath. He ought to leave. He ought to take his hand from hers and walk away. 

“It would be kinder in the long run,” he said quietly, almost to himself. Then, against his better judgment, he reached out and cupped Nare’s cheek in his palm. 

Her fingers tightened on his other hand, and Solas brushed his thumb tenderly over her lips. “I should not stay, Nare,” he said softly. “But losing you would–”

Her tongue darted out and flicked over the pad of his thumb.

He froze. Nare’s eyes went wide and darted to his face, and for the space of a heartbeat, they stared at each other. And in the space of that one single heartbeat, that one single pulsing squeeze of his heart, every final feeble barrier he’d been trying to build against her fell into utter ruin.

“Fuck,” she breathed. “Solas, I’m sor–”

He pulled her against his chest and kissed her. 

She let out a little whimper of surprise, but it was swiftly muffled when he coaxed her mouth open and licked her tongue. The next thing he knew, Nare was clutching the collar of his tunic and pressing herself against his front, and his hand was sliding into the thick russet ropes of her hair while his other hand drifted down her spine toward her bottom.

He gripped her buttock and pulled her against his thigh, and she broke his kiss with a gasp. When he gently pulled her hair, she craned her neck back and burst out a single word. “Please!” 

He didn’t reply. He sealed his lips over hers and walked her back toward the balcony railing, and then he was clasping her neck and stroking the line of her jaw and kissing her with all the enthusiasm of a starving man at a feast. 

He nipped gently at her lips and pressed his thigh between her legs. She pulled his tunic and tilted her groin against his thigh, and Solas sighed blissfully into her mouth. The taste of her tongue, the citrus scent of her hair as he threaded it through his fingers… it was every bit as good as he remembered from that scintillating night they’d spent together in her tent, and it was every bit as illicit and ill-advised as the torrid moment they’d spent locked together in the downstairs library this morning. 

And Solas relished it. He sank into her kiss without thinking, without guilt and without bothering to convince himself to stop, because there was no stopping this. There was no point denying the depth of his feelings for her. There was no point trying to push her away, only to have the memories torture him at every moment of the waking day and every second of the dreaming night. Denial was useless, a juvenile attempt to stave off a reality that was better confronted head-on, and if confronting this reality involved the delectable sounds that were trickling from Nare’s lips and the wanton way she was rubbing herself against his thigh, then Solas had no right to complain. 

Her hands left his tunic, and she began fumbling with the laces of her shirt. Solas broke their kiss and took her hands. “Nare, wait a moment.”

She wrested her hands from his and gripped his tunic again. “Don’t go,” she begged. “You can’t – don’t – don’t leave me again, please…”

“It is not my intention to leave,” he said soothingly. “I wish only to speak more of what you told me before. About your other… partners.”

He couldn’t quite shave the disdain from his tone, but Nare didn’t seem to mind; she relaxed and gave him a wry smile. “You want to hear about how I’ve never had good sex even though I’m thirty-one?”

He brushed his thumb fondly over her cheek. She said ‘thirty-one’ as though her handful of years spanned an entire lifetime. “I do,” he said. “It is important, given where we are headed.”

Her tongue darted over her lower lip. “And where are we headed, exactly?” she asked breathlessly.

He smiled faintly, then penned her against the balcony railing and slowly lowered his lips to her ear. “To a state of considerable undress if your restless hands are anything to go by, da’len,” he whispered. 

She dragged in a raspy breath. Then Solas tipped her chin up and brushed her lower lip with his thumb again. “Tell me what sex was like for you before, Nare. It is important.”

She swallowed hard, then dropped his gaze. “It was… it just wasn’t good. They… I don’t know if it was them or me, but it… I thought I was ready before they, um, entered me.” She shrugged and kept her gaze on the floor. “I suppose I wasn’t actually ready, but I only know that now because you…” She trailed off, then looked him in the eye. “Solas, you make me… I didn’t want any of them like I want you.”

Her cheeks were rapidly turning red, but Solas gazed seriously at her. “You say it didn’t feel good. Did it feel bad?” he asked.

She pressed her lips together and lowered her gaze, and his heart twisted for her. “Were you in pain?” he said softly.

She took a tremulous breath. “I don’t think it was their fault,” she mumbled. “It – it hurt with all of them, so it couldn’t have been their fault, it must have been my–”

“Stop,” he said, quietly but firmly. “I must stop you there. You are not at fault.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “If they did not recognize your pain, they were not worthy to touch you.”

Her face crumpled. Solas took a deep breath to quell the sympathetic aching in his throat, then stroked her cheek with his knuckles. “Do you recall what I told you about the nature of magic back in the days of ancient Arlathan?” he said softly. “How new spells would spin out for years untold, echoing and harmonizing with those from countless years before?”

She nodded, and Solas gently brushed a tear from her cheek. “Just as magic could linger in an unending flow, so it was with sensations of a more carnal nature as well.”

She darted a glance at him. “What do you mean?”

“I have seen memories in the Fade,” he said. “Lovers twined together in a perpetual cycle of pleasure, bringing each other to orgasm through delicate touch and words alone.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Touching and talking only?”

“Yes,” he said. “It took time and patience, but these were privileges that our ancient forbears had in plenty.”

“That sounds… incredible,” she said softly. “Like an amazing dream.”

He let out a small laugh. “Yes.”

She gave him a shy smile. Then her expression became sly. “You’ve seen these memories, you say?” she said cheekily. “So you watch people doing more than just dressing their hair, it seems.”

He chuckled, pleased by the return of her humour. “So it would seem,” he said. He tilted his head. “Would you be interested in feeling what this is like?”

Her eyes went wide. “In… in feeling what, exactly?”

“In a climax brought to you through simple talk and touch,” Solas said.

Her face slackened, and Solas watched with satisfaction as her cheeks turned red – but not with embarrassment this time. No, there was nothing embarrassed about the way her spine was straightening and the obvious interest in her aquamarine eyes.

“Is that a yes?” he said mildly.

“Yes,” she blurted. “Yes, absolutely yes.”

He smiled at how eager she was. Then he reached for the laces of her shirt. 

She drew a tiny breath through her parted lips. His body thrilled at the subtle sound, but he forced himself to calmly loosen the laces. He carefully untucked the fabric from her breeches, then raised his gaze to her face.

“Lift your arms,” he said quietly.

She did as he asked, and he carefully pulled the linen shirt up to reveal the planes of her belly. Her breasts were bare beneath the shirt, and by the time he pulled the shirt off and dropped it on the ground, his cock was a rock-hard rod in his breeches, and Nare’s eyes were dark and feverish with want. 

He took a careful breath and looked her in the eye. “If I do anything you dislike, you must tell me right away,” he said. “This is never negotiable. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” she said.

He tilted his head. “Yes, what?”

She arched her spine slightly, drawing his greedy gaze back to her nipples. “Yes, hah’ren,” she breathed.

He smiled. “Good,” he said, and he continued undressing her. When Nare was naked, Solas stepped back and studied her. 

The fresh mountain air was raising goosebumps on her skin and bringing her nipples to pebbled peaks. The starlight had turned her skin to a lush shade of pearl, and at the apex of her thighs…

Her desperation was obvious, a glossy shine that glazed her cleft and the insides of her thighs, and the mere sight of her wetness was enough to lift a feral sort of hunger in the pit of his belly. He breathed slowly to master the hunger and scanned her slowly from head to toe, then took another small step away from her. 

“I will not lay with you tonight,” he said.

Her face slackened with disappointment. “What?” she blurted. “But–”

He interrupted her. “Not unless you ask me three times.”

She frowned. “Three times? Why…?”

“Because I need you to be certain,” he said. He reached out and lightly stroked the slick inside of her thigh. 

She shuddered at the featherlight touch, and he breathed slowly to calm himself before speaking again. “This is a gift, Nare,” he said quietly. “One that can only be given freely and without qualm. I will accept this gift only if you are completely certain that you are ready to give it.” 

“And what if I asked you to fuck me three times right now?” she said.

He smirked. “Even though I spoke to you of the ebb and flow of pleasure through careful words and gentle touch?” he said. “You wish to curtail that before I have even begun?”

She wilted. “No, hah’ren.”

He chuckled. “A wise choice, da’len.” Then, very gently, he slid two fingers between her legs.

She bucked her hips and moaned, and Solas greedily enjoyed the needy sound before withdrawing his fingers from her warmth. When she opened her eyes and met his gaze, he licked her sweetness from his fingers.

She pressed her thighs together. “Fuck,” she whined.

Her voice was strained with need, and the restless hunger in his gut stirred once more, but he forced himself to ignore it. He tilted his head at her bedroom. “Go inside and wait for me to join you,” he said.

“How should I wait?” she asked eagerly.

He raised his eyebrows in appreciation. For a woman who had never engaged in such roleplay before, she was adopting it seamlessly. “You should stand,” he said. “Near the couch is fine.” 

She nodded, then practically ran into the bedroom, and Solas followed her more slowly. When he was facing her, he clasped his hands behind his back. 

“Ina’lan’ehn,” he said quietly. “You know the meaning of this word, da’len?”

She nodded. “It means, um… beautiful.” She smiled awkwardly and dropped his gaze. 

“That is correct,” he said. “But there is another more subtle meaning as well.” He began to pace slowly around her. “It refers also to the manner in which a thing of beauty brings out the finest traits in all that surrounds it.” He stopped behind her, then tucked her hair over her shoulder and brushed his knuckles along the length of her spine. 

She shivered prettily, and Solas leaned in close to her ear. “You are beautiful, Nare. But the reflection of your spirit on those around you is what makes you truly exquisite.”

The tips of her ears were turning pink, but she laughed softly. “You sweet talker,” she said. “You’re just flattering me.”

He paused and tilted his head. “Do you think me to be an idle seducer, Nare?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “No, of course not.”

“I should hope not,” he said. “It is not my intent to shower you in disingenuous flattery.”

She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Oh, Solas, that’s not what I meant. I’m just– ah...” She trailed off, and for good reason; Solas was smoothing his hand over the curve of her bottom. 

He squeezed the supple curve of her butt, then skimmed his fingers from her wrist up to her shoulder. When he trailed the tips of his fingers along the side of her neck, she inhaled shakily and tilted her head to the side.

She seemed to be enjoying his touch and his talking, but in truth, Solas was a bit disappointed in himself. He could see why his words might seem like mere flattery to her; the common tongue of this time was a crude language without any of the inherent magic or lilting fluidity of his native tongue. This language lacked the layers of metaphor that Elvhen words so neatly encompassed, so of course his words didn’t have the proper intended effect: they weren’t the words he truly meant. 

He frowned, then dismissed the quandary for now. He refused to let a foible of language interfere with Nare’s pleasure. He would simply have to get around the linguistic hurdle in a different way. 

He slid his arm around her waist and rested his palm on her belly. She gasped and tilted her head back against his collarbone, and he brushed his lips over her ear once more. “Are you opposed to the use of magic during sex?” he murmured.

“Magic during sex?” she panted. “I… I’ve never – but no, I’m not opposed, not at all.”

“Good,” he said. He slowly slid his hand lower, and when his hand was cupping her sex, he gently pressed his middle finger into her cleft. 

She mewled and jerked her hips, and Solas gently kissed her ear. “Patience, Nare,” he whispered. He traced a tiny pattern between her legs with the tip of his finger, then whispered a word in Elvhen: “Isalath’is.” 

A tiny burst of magic warmed his palm, and a rush of pleasure surged through his body as the glyph took effect. He bit the inside of his cheek to control his reaction, but Nare gasped and arched uninhibitedly into his chest. 

“Solas!” she moaned. “Gods, fuck, I feel so – what is that?” She breathed hard and pressed her bottom back toward his throbbing cock. “What–? How did you…?”

He hastily shifted his pelvis away from her tempting curves. “I linked your desire to mine,” he told her breathlessly. “I can feel your lust, and you can feel mine. We are joined this way until I undo the glyph.”

She moaned and wiggled her hips. “It feels amazing.” 

“I am glad you enjoy it,” he murmured. Then he removed his hand from her body and stepped away from her.

She whimpered and gazed desperately at him as he slowly made his way around her. “Where are you going?”

“Nowhere,” he said. “I simply wish to look at you.” He paused in front of her and clasped his hands behind his back. He perused her slowly, lingering on the rosy peaks of her nipples and the dip of her navel and the lean lines of her thighs as they flowed down to her calves and her pretty little toes, and with every second that he spent staring at her, her desperation surged more strongly through his groin by way of the magical glyph. 

She shifted restlessly and arched her back. “Solas…”

He raised his eyes slowly to her face. “I meant what I said before, da’len. You are truly exquisite. Your beauty captured my attention, but your spirit… A single conversation with you, and I was enchanted. Your passion, your curiosity, your open mind…” He reached out and brushed his knuckles over her belly, and when her muscles jumped taut beneath his touch, he smiled.  

He looked up once more into her blazing blue eyes. “You are infinitely tempting,” he told her. “A flame that flickers in my mind when I am attempting to sleep at night, but instead I ruminate on thoughts of you.”

“You think of me at night?” she asked breathlessly.

He gave her a reproving look. “Did you truly think that incident in your tent was the first time I fantasized of you?”

Her jaw dropped and her cheeks turned pink, and Solas smiled faintly. “No, Nare,” he said. “That was not the first time.” He stepped close to her, then gently took her hand and placed it over the bulge in his breeches.

She instantly molded her fingers over his cock. The resulting rush of pleasure raced through his blood, then rushed through him again and again thanks to the glyph that linked them.

Nare whimpered and squeezed his manhood, and Solas shamelessly enjoyed her touch for a moment more before stepping away from her and drawing a deep and bracing breath. His whole body was roaring with hunger, but he couldn’t sate it yet; he couldn’t sate himself on the infinite feast of Nare’s passion until she asked him three times to take her. 

“Solas,” she begged. “I want to touch you…”

“Not until you come, da’len,” he said firmly, both as a reminder to her and to himself. “You must come for me first. I want you to think about me wrapping my fingers around my cock.”

He balked mentally at his own clumsy words; he couldn’t decide if they sounded seductive or silly in the common tongue, but Nare seemed more than pleased: the minute the word cock left his mouth, Nare’s reflected pleasure pulsed deep down in his belly. 

“Mhmm,” she moaned. “More, please…”

Ah, good, he thought. He began slowly circling her again. “I want you to think about my hand sliding along the length of my cock,” he said. “Imagine me dreaming of you while I grip myself, wishing it was your hand instead.” He reached out and brushed his thumb over her nipple.

She jerked at his touch. “Yes,” she moaned. “Yes, please, I want to…”

He stopped behind her once more and wrapped his fingers around her throat, and she arched her spine with a gasp. 

He brushed his thumb along her neck. “Think of this, Nare,” he said. “Focus on my hand here on your neck.” He stepped closer to her, then pressed his groin against the cleft of her ass and gently squeezed her throat.

She mewled and twisted her hips fitfully. Her pleasure surged through the glyph they shared, and he released a shaky sigh before doggedly resuming his talk. “Think of me taking you from behind,” he murmured. “How it would feel for me to fill you up and spill my… seed inside of you.” He squeezed her throat once more and pumped his hips teasingly against the bare curves of her ass. 

She sobbed and pressed her hips back toward him. She was near, so near to the precipice of her own pleasure, and if he spoke to her just so… 

He nipped her earlobe and pressed his hips to the curves of her behind. “Are you thinking of this, Nare?” he rasped. “Are you thinking about me fucking you?”

She shuddered and cried out suddenly, and Solas gasped: her climax had finally struck, and it was shivering through both of them in tandem. 

“Ah, y-yes!” she cried. She strained back against his chest and dug her nails into his wrist, and he squeezed his eyes shut in ecstasy: her peak was pulsing through his body, pouring through his abdomen like a scintillating burst of bliss, and he groaned helplessly as Nare shuddered against his chest. 

“Fuck me!” she cried.

He forced himself to take a deep breath. His cock was pounding from the referred pleasure of her climax, and he was desperate to do as she asked, but he couldn’t – not yet. 

Not until she asked it of him three times.

“That is once, Nare,” he said, in the calmest tone he could manage. “You have now asked me once.”

She gasped in another breath and nodded, and Solas released her throat and stepped away from her. The moment he released her, she fell to her knees in front of him and reached for his belt. 

His cock jerked in his breeches, but he hastily took her hands in his. “Patience, Nare,” he scolded. 

“Let me suck you!” she blurted. She shuffled closer on her knees. “I want your cock, Solas, I – I want you in my mouth, please…”

He raised his eyebrows. “Is that a command, or a request?”

“A – it’s a…” She broke off and gazed pleadingly up at him. “Please, hah’ren, I want… can I suck your cock?”

“Yes,” he said. With slightly shaking fingers, he unbuckled his belt and pulled his tunic over his head. He stripped as efficiently as he could without making a fool of himself like an untried youth, but in truth, he was feeling like exactly that: an eager and untried youth bursting with enthusiasm and hunger and barely a thread of discipline, and the reflection of Nare’s voracious hunger through the glyph wasn’t helping matters. 

He finally shucked his breeches, and Nare whimpered and crawled toward him. “Please, hah’ren...” 

“Not yet,” he told her. He sat gracefully on the couch, then took his manhood in his fist. 

Her eyes grew wide, then wider still when he ran his fist along his length, and he couldn’t decide whether the accompanying pulse of pleasure in his gut came from himself or from her. He stroked himself three more times, and when Nare was mewling and writhing her hips like a cat in heat, he finally gave in.

He patted the couch beside him. “Lay here on your belly,” he instructed. 

She jumped to her feet and obeyed him, stretching out on the couch and resting her palms on his thigh and his hip. Before he could give her any further instructions, she took his cock deep into her throat. 

Shocked and thrilled, he groaned and jerked his hips, and Nare mewled around his length. Then she was suckling him with deep, quick strokes, her lips firm around his shaft and her fingers digging into his thigh, and it felt – fenedhis, it was good, too damned good, far too good and too fast, and his pleasure was rising and hers was rising too and she was grinding her hips unconsciously against the couch as she suckled him, and –

And it was too much. “Slow down, da’len,” he gasped. He ran his palm gently over her hair, then began gathering her hair in his hands. 

She whimpered and continued suckling him, so Solas gently pulled her hair.

She released his cock with a gasp. “Please!” she sobbed. “Please, hah’ren, let me...” 

“Slowly, Nare,” he said in a firm tone. “Go slowly. There is no need to rush. We have time.” 

She whimpered and pressed her hips into the couch, and her nails bit into his hip. “But I waited so long, I’ve been waiting, I–” 

He pulled her hair again, more firmly this time. “Slowly,” he said, very quietly. “Will you obey me, da’len?”

She sobbed again but nodded her head, and Solas lessened his hold on her hair. As soon as his fingers loosened in her hair, she took him in her mouth once more, but the heated strokes of her lips and throat were deep and slow this time.

Solas sighed blissfully and flexed into her lips. The pleasure was just as great but less urgent now, and he was better able to concentrate on Nare’s pleasure as well. He slid his free hand over her shoulder, then down along the smooth curve of her spine. 

He lovingly ran his palm over her bottom, and she jerked and moaned into his cock. Riled and encouraged, he stroked the smooth globes of her bottom until she was writhing, then slid his hand lower still and smoothed his fingers over her inner thigh.

She jerked again and released his cock just long enough to let out a feral little cry, and Solas groaned as his pleasure surged in time with hers. Her slickness was smeared across the inner margins of her thighs, and he had no doubt that it would grace the couch as well when they eventually stood. 

He slid his hand back up to stroke her bottom, and Nare arched her spine and began sucking him faster. 

Solas gasped in a breath and pulled her hair. “Slowly, da’len,” he groaned. 

She obeyed him, but arched her spine further and wiggled her hips, and Solas squeezed her buttock. She moaned, and he clenched his jaw to stifle his own pleasured moan: her desire was so acute and tense that he could feel it through the glyph. Her fingers were digging into his thigh and his hip, and as he continued to caress her ass, she strained to lift her hips toward his hand… 

So Solas followed his instinct and spanked her.

It was a small spank, just enough to feel a hint of sting through his palm, but Nare suddenly released his cock and cried out, and Solas gasped helplessly as her pleasure mirrored itself through his limbs. 

“Solas, fuck me!” she wailed. 

He forced his eyes open and dragged in a breath. “That is two times,” he gasped. “You have asked me twice now, Nare.”

She moaned and nodded, then dipped her head low and slid her lips over the head of his cock, but Solas stopped her with his hand on her chin. “Enough now,” he panted. “On your hands and knees, da’len.”

She sobbed with frustration but did as he asked, and a moment later she was on all fours on the couch while Solas stood beside the couch and stared at her, trying desperately to calm the inferno of desire that was raging at him from deep inside his gut.

He breathed deeply to try and cool his desire, but it was impossible – no, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t impossible; Solas just didn’t want to cool it. This desire, this sheer and breathtaking lust, the way he felt when Nare looked at him and touched him and wrapped her lips around his aching cock, like a current of lightning and heat and pleasure was rippling just beneath his skin: it was a gift, a blessing he hadn’t realized he was missing, and he didn’t want to give it up. 

He hadn’t felt such passion in years. He hadn’t been this lustful in decades, and he hadn’t felt this alive in even more centuries before that. Before the casting of the Veil had stolen his reserves and cast him into a forced uthenera, his life had been a series of catastrophes one after the next, each requiring as logical and passionless a solution as he could manage despite his rage and grief. It wasn’t until now, while staring at the breathtaking sight of Nare’s naked and willing body, that he realized the toll that the constant war had taken.

He hadn’t been alive when he’d fallen into that dark and dreaming sleep, not truly. He had been a shell of a man, a lifeless shell driven by the duality of vengeance and justice, and it wasn’t until now that he remembered what it was to be alive. 

It wasn’t until this moment, with this flame-haired woman splayed before him with her heart in her ocean-blue eyes, that Solas remembered what it was like to truly be alive.

“Solas, please,” she begged. “Please touch me.”

He drew a bracing breath and took a small step closer to her. “How should I touch you, da’len?” he said.

She glanced over her shoulder at him. “Will you… will you lick me, hah’ren?”

Her cheeks were starting to pinken from the bold request, and Solas smiled faintly at her. “There is nothing I would like more than to taste you,” he said. He ran his palm over her bottom again. “Spread your legs further. Let me look at you.”

She placed one foot on the floor and twisted her hips toward him. Solas swallowed hard, then slowly lowered himself to his knees behind her and ran his palms up the backs of her thighs.

She mewled and arched her spine, and a crystalline strand of desire dripped from her fragrant flesh down toward the floor. 

A roar of approval surged through his blood, rendering him lightheaded, and he forced out a breath. “Veraisa,” he murmured.

She glanced at him over her shoulder. “What does that mean?” she asked.

He tore his eyes away from her pussy. “It means ‘temptress’,” he explained. “One who inspires an endless depth of desire.”

She laughed. “I’m not a temptress!”

He shook his head slightly. “Nare, you cannot fathom the depths to which you tempt me,” he said softly. He lifted his hand and slid two fingers over her slippery folds.

She mewled again and bucked her hips, and Solas splayed his palm on her ass to hold her still. “Every shift of your body is a temptation,” he said. “Every time you speak, every time you laugh – you are tempting me more than you realize.” Nare tempted him, and as playful as he made this sound, it was a hard and brutal truth. Solas had never encountered a more delectable and dangerous temptation than Nare, and part of her danger was that she didn’t realize just how dangerous she was. Without even realizing what she’d done, she had lured him into seeing this world as more than just a deadened place. She had made him see these people as more than walking husks, and she shone with a sort of hope he hadn’t encountered in centuries.  

Nare had tempted him to love her, and Solas had fallen directly into the honeyed trap of her arms. And yet, despite the dangers and the pain that was likely to come, he couldn’t bring himself to let her go. 

It was selfish and unfair and exceedingly unwise, but he couldn’t let her go. 

He tilted his head and pressed his lips between her legs, and she cried out the instant he touched her with his mouth. He braced his palms on her thighs and lapped at her wetness, enjoying her nectar just as much as he had this morning, and when Nare began rocking her hips back to meet his mouth, his enjoyment surged even higher. 

He angled his head and caressed her clit with his lower lip, and she bucked her hips and sobbed. “Fuck, please, more of that…” 

He smiled at her shameless request. It would never fail to amuse him how vocal she was in the throes of her pleasure compared to her shyness at the start and end of their carnal episodes. 

He lapped at her clit and teased the swollen little nub with his lower lip until she was writhing, then kissed the precious bud and suckled it very gently. 

Nare gasped and clenched her fingers in the cushions of the couch. “Creators, yes!” she yelped. “Solas, p-please, that–”

He continued to gently suckle her clit, teasing her in between with long strokes of his tongue for the sheer pleasure of hearing her breathe his name, and all the while he could feel her pleasure building and surging through the glyph he’d traced between her legs. When she was right at the edge of her climax, he felt it between his legs and in the tension of her thighs beneath his palms. When she finally hit her peak, she arched her spine and cried out, and Solas lapped her clit and slid one finger deep inside of her. 

She jerked and let out a wild wordless cry, and Solas moaned helplessly into her flesh. He felt her, felt her orgasm as it pulsed through her belly and her thighs, and when he curled his finger carefully inside of her, it kicked their shared pleasure higher still. 

He moaned again, then leaned away from her and gasped for breath, his eyes fixed shamelessly at the joining of his finger with her dew-slicked folds. Then Nare suddenly shifted away from him. 

She fell to her knees on the floor in front of him and grabbed his shoulders. “Please,” she sobbed. “Please, Solas, fuck me!”

His cock throbbed eagerly, but he clasped her wrists and looked her in the eye. “That was three times, Nare,” he said seriously. “Are you certain that you want this?”

“Yes!” she cried. “Yes, yes, I’m sure, I’m so sure – Solas, take me!”

He paused for a split second. Take me. Like that foolish Dalish curse – may the Dread Wolf take you…

Nare clasped his neck in her palms and kissed him hard, and Solas opened his mouth to welcome the sleek thrust of her tongue. She tilted her head and aggressively slanted her lips over his, and Solas permitted her lusty kiss for a moment before reaching down and palming her ass. 

She gasped against his lips, and Solas took full advantage to thrust his tongue into her mouth. She pressed her breasts to his chest and clenched her nails in his collarbones, then broke from his lips with a moan when he rubbed his cock against her belly. 

She pressed her hips toward him. “Solas, please, please–”

“Lie on the bed,” he said.

Nare’s eyes widened, and he couldn’t blame her. His voice was rough and tense, and he sounded unlike himself – almost like a feral version of himself, in fact, but this only seemed to rile her further: she whimpered and clawed his chest and twisted her hips toward him, almost like she was devolving into something feral and wild herself.

He sealed her lips with another kiss, and she moaned into his mouth and grabbed his cock. He gasped, then thrust his tongue back into the precious heat of her mouth, but she was stroking his cock and trying to push his shaft between her legs even though the angle of their kneeling bodies was far too awkward for them to meld, and – fenedhis, he needed to wrest control of this situation before he lost it entirely. He needed to regain control before he did something hasty, like shove her down on the carpet and fuck her like the bestial roar of want in his belly was begging him to do. 

He pushed her away with one hand on her hip, but she whined and grabbed at his shoulders again. Veraisa, he thought, exasperated and riled in equal measure. He reached up and firmly gripped her chin. “Go lie on the bed, da’len,” he said roughly. “Now.”

“Yes, hah’ren,” she blurted.

He released her chin. She jumped to her feet and ran over to the bed, and Solas swiftly followed her. She crawled onto the mattress, but before she could turn over onto her back, he crawled onto the bed behind her and placed his palm between her shoulder blades.

“Lie down,” he said, and he pressed gently on her back. 

She did as he asked and laid flat on her belly. Solas brushed her hair aside so he could admire the side of her face and the naked canvas of her back, then slid his palm slowly along the center of her back and down toward her bottom. 

She whimpered softly and arched her spine, lifting her hips slightly in the process, and Solas forced himself to breathe through the mind-numbing haze of lust that was threatening to blind him. She was so beautiful, the perfect combination of pliant and wanton: she followed his every carnal command while actively demanding more, matching his every action with the most exquisitely pleasured reactions that a corporeal body could provide, and… 

And it was all for him. Nare wanted him. By her own confession, Solas was the only person she had ever wanted with this degree of sheer desperate desire. 

She wanted him. In this deadened world where apostates were reviled and his kin from the Fade were feared, Nare had listened to him and heard his stories and told him stories of this world in turn. She smiled at him, and she debated with him without writing him off, and now she was here, naked and stretched out on her belly and begging him to touch her with the twisting of her bare body. The scent of her, the sound of her whimpering voice, the complete and uninhibited acceptance that was implied by her willing and submissive pose: she was so raw, so visceral and tangible and real–

She was real. Fenedhis, she was more real than anything or anyone he’d encountered in all his time here – no, longer than that: she was the most real, genuine, guileless person he had known since before he was Fen’Harel. 

He exhaled shakily, stunned and overwhelmed by lust and adoration and grief and confusion, but the lust soon surged back to the fore as Nare restlessly lifted her hips.

She arched her spine again, and Solas’s eyes fell to the apex of her thighs – the fragrant and shining apex of her thighs where the glyph he’d traced was channeling her desperation straight to his cock.

“Solas, please,” she mewled. “What are you waiting for?”

He dragged his eyes back up to her face. “I’m not waiting,” he said. “I am watching.”

“Watching what?” she panted.

“You, of course,” he said. “The shifting of your body is like a tidal wave of lust. It is a sight to behold.” He reached up and tenderly stroked her hair. “You think you were to blame for your lack of pleasure in the past, but I assure you that the fault was entirely theirs.”

She stilled and dropped his gaze. “I don’t know about that. I–”

“You misunderstand me,” Solas interrupted. “This is not a question that is up for debate. This is a fact.”

She glanced at him again with wider eyes, and he stroked her hair again. “You are perfect, Nare,” he murmured. “Every part of you, exactly as you are. The precise shade of your eyes, the silk of your hair, the velvet of your skin: you are beautiful, and you are perfect. You are… passion,” he said slowly. “You embody it. It is evident in every movement of your body and every word you speak. It is not your fault that they failed to reveal this facet of who you are.” He smoothed his palm over her back and her bottom, then reached between her legs and petted the wetness there.

She gasped and jerked her hips, and his glyph flared with a fresh bolt of pleasure. Solas inhaled carefully and continued to brush his fingers between her legs. “This is part of who you are,” he told her. “This desire that you feel? The way you want to be touched–”

“I want you to touch me,” she interrupted. “Only you. You’re the only one I – I want you.”

A fresh pang of gratitude and grief squeezed his heart. To be wanted by someone like her — someone bursting with hope and youth and optimism, all the things he had long thought lost… 

He shunted the melancholy aside and stroked her wetness. “This is for me, da’len? This desire that is dripping between your legs is for me?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“And the curve of your spine?” he asked. He stroked her back with his free hand and rested his palm on her bottom. “The way your back is arched, like a bow that is ready to spring. Is that for me as well?”

“Yes, yes hah’ren, yes!” she cried. Her voice was strained as she rocked her hips back toward his fingers, and Solas forced himself to breathe as he stared at her. She was wet and shining and ready, ready and waiting for him to take her, and the glyph between her legs was positively pulsing from the strength of her desire. 

He took his cock in his hand and slid his shaft teasingly between her folds. She jerked and clenched her fists in the covers, and Solas hissed in a breath. She was hot and slick and waiting, and the mere touch of her heat against his shaft the most pleasurable torture… 

He reached out and pulled gently on her shoulder, and she obediently raised herself onto her elbows. Then Solas slid his fingers around her throat.

She gasped and bucked her hips, and he hissed in another breath as his shaft glided teasingly through the slickness of her flesh. “Is this what you want, Nare?” he asked, and he gently squeezed her throat. 

“Yes!” she cried.

“You are ready for me?” he said. “You are ready for this?” His voice sounded rough and feral again, but he didn’t care; Nare was writhing and clawing at the bed, and the glyph between her legs was pulsing so hard that he could barely concentrate on anything else. 

He slid his cock along the length of her cleft once more, and she jolted and mewled. “Yes, yes!” she whined. 

He squeezed her throat again. “Yes, what?” he demanded. 

“Yes, hah’ren!” she wailed. “I’m empty without you, please!” 

Empty. That was how he had felt, before Nare reminded him what it was to be alive. Before she had appeared in his life, an accidental side-effect of his latest disaster, and shown him in the most wonderful and terrible ways that this world was worth far more than he thought.

His heart twisted, and he dragged in a bittersweet breath. “Then I will give you what you have been demanding,” he said huskily. And finally, at long last, Solas gave himself to Nare.

He gently gripped her throat, and slowly, very slowly so as to savour every long-awaited second, he slid inside of her. 

She let out the most beautiful little mewl, and Solas groaned out loud. She was so tight and slick and blissfully warm, and he shuddered helplessly at how exquisitely good she felt. He breathed slowly and pushed himself deeper, and before he was halfway hilted, Nare was panting desperately for air. By the time his hips were flush to the smooth curves of her ass, she was clawing at the bed and crying out in a strained and breathy voice, and the vicarious feeling through the glyph…

Nare was already at the edge of climax. From a single blissful stroke, she was nearly ready to come. 

Slowly, torturously slowly, he withdrew from her, and she moaned and twisted her hips. “Solas, please–”

“Be patient, Nare,” he breathed. He slid into her once more. 

She cried out and shivered, and Solas forced himself to breathe. She was teetering right on the edge of ecstasy, and he could feel the threshold of that ecstasy through the glyph between her legs, and if he did this right – if he moved inside of her in exactly the right way…  

“P-please,” she whimpered. “Please, please, I need you…”

He squeezed her throat and entered her in a long, smooth stroke, and she came.

She gripped the covers and let out a loud and visceral cry, and Solas cried out in turn as her tightness gripped him and her pleasure reverberated through his body. Her climax was a deep and throbbing pulse, as though her entire body was spasming from the crux of her thighs all the way down to her toes, as though Solas truly had filled a part of her that had been aching and empty, and he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw at the sheer intensity of it. By the time the crashing waves of Nare’s pleasure began to wane, she was sweat-laced and shaking and sobbing with pleasure. 

“Solas,” she gasped. “I’ve never… that was the first time I…” She trailed off with another sob, and Solas dropped a tender kiss on her back. 

“I know, da’len,” he murmured. “Take your time.” He caressed her back with his lips as she trembled and tried to breathe, and when her shaking began to wane, he carefully pulled out of her.

She cried out and reached for him. “No! No, please, I need more–”

He stroked her hip. “Turn over,” he said huskily. “I wish to look at you.” 

She swiftly turned over onto her back, and Solas stretched himself over her. He clasped her hands, then slid himself teasingly through her heat once more. 

She arched her neck and sobbed. “Please, please, don’t tease me, I c-can’t – I need you, Solas, please don’t tease me– ah!” 

Solas sheathed himself inside of her in one swift stroke. She threw her head back and cried out sharply, and Solas silenced her pleasured cry with a kiss. For a mindless, blissful time, he rocked into her and caressed her tongue with his own, and when she was rolling her hips up to meet him, he peeled himself away from her lips. 

“Passion,” he panted, and he thrust into her again. “Never forget, Nare. Never doubt that this is who you are.” 

“For you,” she gasped. “You’re the only – Solas, only you know me like this. I…” She trailed off as another trickle of tears ran down the side of her face, and through the rising wave of his pleasure, he could feel a bittersweet warmth rising in his chest. 

He knew what she had meant to say. He knew what she felt, because he felt it too. Through the conversations they’d had, through the passion they had shared and were continuing to share right now, Solas felt as though Nare knew him – truly knew him, even though she didn't and couldn’t know everything that there was to know. Nare knew his mind and the feral hunger that he had long thought lost. She knew his esoteric interests and she knew his quixotic moods, and she wanted him anyway.

He kissed her again and rolled his hips, and Nare moaned into his mouth, and in a matter of moments they were breathing and fucking each other in a frenzy of rapidly rising rapture. Her palms were hot and sweaty against his own, and he was pumping into her in a driving rhythm and savouring her every gasping moan, and at the moment that his climax finally crashed over him, he had no resistance left to stop the words from leaving his mouth. 

He shuddered and groaned, then pressed his forehead to hers. “Ar lath ma, vhenan,” he whispered. 

She gasped and squeezed his hands. “Solas, I–”

He cut her off with a kiss. When his climax ebbed away, leaving him boneless and spent, he finally lifted himself from her lips. 

She gazed up at him with those big guileless blue eyes. “Did you mean that?” she breathed. “That you…” She faltered and dropped her gaze, and Solas smiled at the inevitable return of her shyness. 

“That I love you?” he supplied. He brushed his thumb tenderly along the edge of her face. “I do mean it, yes.”

“Then why…?” She stopped herself once again and nibbled her lip.

Solas shifted onto the mattress beside her and soothingly stroked her belly. “Speak your mind, Nare. Never feel that you can’t speak your mind to me.”

She nervously licked her lips, then glanced at him once more. “Why were you avoiding me, then?” she said in a small voice. “I thought you didn’t want me.”

He gazed at her with an aching sort of fondness. “It wasn’t a lack of desire that prompted my childish behaviour. Quite the opposite,” he said softly. “I avoided you because…” He sighed and told her a very simple version of the truth. “Because you are a da’len, and I am a hah’ren.”

“What’s wrong with that?” she said. “I like that you have things to teach me. Besides, you aren’t that much older than me.”

If only you knew, he thought sadly. But Nare was blithely pressing on. “Besides, don’t you like being my hah’ren?” She gave him a cheeky little smile, but he could see the insecurity in the tilt of her eyebrows.

He skimmed his knuckles over her cheek. “I do. More than you know,” he replied. Even as a young elgar’venathe, he had always enjoyed teaching others and sharing his knowledge. And now, sharing in this kind of carnal knowledge with such an eager and exquisite pupil as Nare was better than the finest dream.

Her smile softened with relief. “Good,” she said. “Because I like it too.”

“Do you?” he said. “I couldn’t tell.”

She shot him a sideways look, then burst out a laugh, and Solas admired the pinkening of her cheeks. “You’re teasing me,” she said.

He smiled at her and tweaked a strand of her hair. “How can I not, when you turn such an endearing shade of pink?”

Nare laughed again, then rolled onto her side to face him and stroked his cheek. “I love you too, Solas,” she murmured.

He smiled at her and didn’t reply; there was no need to speak, not when the happiness in her eyes was a mirror of his own heart. He skimmed his palm along the curve of her hip, enjoying the simple pleasure of having someone so close and so dear whose bare skin was his to stroke.

Then Nare shuffled closer and tucked her head beneath his chin, just as she’d done that night they’d slept together in his bedroll, and Solas closed his eyes against a sudden burn of tears. In this moment, with Nare’s bare body wrapped in his arms and wreathed in the fragrant afterglow of their sex, he was happier than he had been in far longer than he could remember. 

And this happiness — this simple, undeserved happiness — scared him more than he could say.

He sighed softly and pressed his lips to her citrus-scented hair. He was Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf of elven legend, and in time he would be forced to assume that mantle again. But for now, he was simply Solas: a mild-mannered apostate with a passion for the Fade and a weakness for one red-haired woman named Nare.

For now, he was simply Solas, and he would enjoy the delicious simplicity of being a man in love. 

[arkt-nehrim-archive]

[Vyntober Day 4 - Traces of the Past]

@vyntober​

It wasn't a hard task at all to find his quarry.

Narathzul prided himself on the fact that despite growing up in an environment where those of his kind were spurned and distrusted, he hadn't let such virile hatred keep him from honing his natural advantages.  Keeping his steps light, his ears guided him toward the basements reserved for fresh initiates to train. He knew there was only one from the sound of a dummy being struck- rather brutally if he was any judge; his quarry wasn't sparing effort for keeping to restrained forms.

'Like she's trying to draw attention to herself. She'll hardly improve her chances here that way...'  he thought to himself, moving with curious earnestness. As he continued the descent, he would ponder to himself,  ' Am I obligated to stand by her just for being aeterna? Any other that had done what she had and I’d not even think about aiding-...' -- 'No other -would- have gotten away with what she did, -because- she was aeterna.'  his eye twinged at the immediate counter thought, as his fingers brushed the dusty stone archway that lead into the training hall.

Plain to see and all alone, the new initiate was -indeed- brutalizing a training dummy with a dulled sword, puffing and yelling along the way. It was needlessly sloppy work given what Narathzul has seen of this Zelara already.  Despite the fact that she had been placed up against a fully fledged Paladin- an above average example of one at that, she held her own well enough, and when she could see defeat was in sight, she resorted to cheating to win.  A fact Narathzul didn't actually fault her too much for, considering the odds. Their mutual superior had been quite purposeful in setting his new aeterna initiate against an impossible foe and would have penalized her for losing; meanwhile she'd -still- been reprimanded harshly for her victory, predominantly for using methods not "in the sword drills".  

'I'm sure he got a kick out of making -me- of all people fight the only other aeterna in our ranks too... pathetic son of a wh-'  Narathzul's less than polite thought was interrupted as he realized Zelara had caught notice of him, the young woman having turned round, long walnut colored strands disheveled as verdant hues glared at him from underneath. She was leaning from the effort she'd expended, one palm curved over the pommel of her training blade, which currently served mostly as a support. "What? Here to even the score?"  she challenged, raising both brows as she steadied her breathing. Oh, so that's how it was going to be, was it?  Charming. Narathzul surprised himself with how the barb mostly rolled off of him, acting on a well of patience he generally didn't grace others with outside of the superiors he -had- to obey. "I came to apologize, actually."  he answered honestly, idly keeping an ear out for any others that might happen upon them.  His words blatantly shocked the woman, an unfitting, musical chortle escaping her lips before she turned to set her blade back upon its rack, sending a long ponytail wagging as she shook her head. "You're not the person who owes me one..." she scoffed, turning her back to a wall and crossing her arms.  She didn't look the part at all of Paladin initiate, and it sent Narathzul's mind awhirl at pondering just -who- she was. She certainly didn't fight like she needed formal training. Was it for the status then? How had she even been accepted? Clearing his throat softly and regarding her aloof haughtiness with a dismissive nod of his brows, he rested a hand on his hip, leaning his weight to one side as he clicked his tongue. "-Well-.  Mine is the only one you're going to -get-.  Take it for what it is."  Narathzul chastised, striving to keep the sneer from his voice, to middling success, "We both know our superior today manufactured that event for some pure, sick amusement. If you couldn't tell, he's not a man particularly proud to see an aeterna in his ranks, much less two."  "-Half- Aeterna."  she replied in an obstinate tone, intentionally ignoring the majority of his words as her eyes narrowed further. Everything about her posture screamed -get out-, but Narathzul had never been one to pay service to such bluster- he could do it too, he just didn't -need- to prove anything. "Same difference." he replied calmly with a half shrug, "Some of us live behind stone walls, under laws not of our own writing, but we become the same long eared, magic-tainted menace the moment we show signs of slipping our leashes." The young man's blatant, level tone in regard to sensitive political issues was a touch jarring to the woman as she let up in the aggressive behavior just long enough to look confused- definitely taking his measure through a new filter. "... you talk like a rebel. Yet you're happy to exist under their confines." she accused, at least maintaining her standoffish tone of voice, but her eyes betrayed a perplexed curiosity. Narathzul was starting to feel the oddest sense of entertainment as a result, though he surmised it wouldn’t last; it never did. She undoubtedly wanted the opposite, but her present company was rooted to his spot- at least for now. "Quite presumptuous of you." he chided, leaning back on his heels as he cocked his head at her, "Happy is a misjudgement... However, I'd challenge you to act differently. You wear the same insignia I do; seem desirous of it even. Yet I don't see you in any greater hurry than I to leap onto a pyre for our ability to recognize that -this- is all wrong." By "this", he of course meant the over-arching greater problem of aeterna being consistently treated as second class citizens, as well as the fresh troubles of the day itself. Zelara would take some time to digest his words, idly tapping the toe of her plated boot on the stone. Fired up as she was, Narathzul could read her as wanting to keep fighting over suffering the indignation of coming down off the rafters.  He couldn't exactly blame her, he'd -been- her enough times, and the -one- time he lost control- whilst fearing for his life no less, he lost the dearest person he knew.  'Ah. -That's- why you're helping her...'  he pondered to himself, feeling the pang of grief from the still yet to heal wound of losing Miriam the way he did. What a monstrous world they all lived in... Squirming away from his guilty sorrows, he drew in a sharp breath through his teeth as he clasped his hands behind his back and stood up straight; a pose he'd often watched his father take when addressing those beneath him on important matters. "-Look-, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but you and I are the only ones of our kind in Erothin's ranks, from the city guard to the Order of Paladins stationed here. An entire capital's military, and it's just us. Take that into account while you keep your chest puffed out at me like that. I'd like us to be on good terms."  he stressed, stoicism coming naturally to his voice that he strove to tone down in hopes of coming off more genuinely, "If we make amends, he loses. Just to point that out. And, if I advocate for you, there's a chance you get to stay."   That gave her a bit of information that wasn't Narathzul's to share, the young woman's brows creasing as she nodded to herself. "So they are expelling me then...and over something so small." she sighed, reorienting her glare in a way that made the young Paladin tense and almost want to reach for his sword, "And you sound like an opportunist. All I see is a man who wants to take advantage of my position-  to keep me under his thumb. We may share blood, but you think like they do." 'If only she could swing a sword like she wielded half-cocked accusations, she might've beaten me fairly...'  he mused inwardly, some of the venom reflecting on his face. "Take my offer however you like." Narathzul's response was measured, refusing to rise to the comparison of his genuine want to help her being anything close to what most human men would want of her,  "I can prove nothing to you until you allow me, and I won't act if you're not interested in a hand up. It's not like me, I confess, but I try to help fellow aeterna where I can, which thanks to them is a rare chance." Gods, was he making headway finally?  He saw her expression shift in the torchlight as she chewed on all he'd brought forward, before she decided to maintain her consistent abrasiveness, her lips twitching into an awkward half grin. She would cock her head along with it, having made a decision he hadn’t been able to read as she spoke quietly. "...  Most would call that generosity a flaw. Maybe a fatal one.~”   Was it a final challenge?  Why was she -smiling- like that?  First poor attitude and now she was playing games with him. He was beginning to think he didn’t have the patience for this after all.  "Then I'm flawed! Shall I point out some of your's to put us on -some- notion of even footing? Or would you rather I help you to a running start instead, seeing as you're not long for our ranks and have no mind to change that?!"  Narathzul hissed it with a spark of fiery frustration, inwardly kicking himself that he'd even bothered trying with this one; he'd never been one with a good eye for allies. Then came the most audacious thing she'd done yet.  She -laughed- in his face, hard enough she damn near doubled over...

                                                    ~~~

"-Laughed-?  My my, the brazen thing...~"  a voice like velvet purred into his ear, chuckling along with his tale. "I can see how she caught you so fast. I daresay there wasn’t ever a moment she wasn’t running circles around you after such an introduction~."    He kept his eyes shut gently, breathing in the mix of chilly desert air and the smoke of a fragrant incense his company had lit. He found some notion of delight in how she ran her fingers along his form, especially his scars; those traces of his past. Narathzul still boggled at the truth of where and how he was. The very scene he rested comfortably in was alike to a dream; surrounded on all sides by the desert that was once Saldrin's domain, lounging upon feather pillows and silken sheets, in the loose embrace of a lover he most certainly did not feel he deserved after all he'd put her through and been through himself.  He cracked a silvery eye open as he felt her palm spread over the scar where Arkt's blade had pierced clean through, drawing in a quiet hiss through his teeth. She would apologize with a kiss to his hair, settling her cheek against pillowsoft golden strands whilst electing to entangle her wandering hands in his own to keep herself still and to comfort him.  "Thank you for telling me about her. I know it must be painful."  she murmured, her voice reflecting a genuine concern. Yet another thing about her that had been hard to believe about Lithirill Andethil. The true and real giving a damn; accepting him for all that he was. It had been so very long since Narathzul had known the feeling that it might as well have been new.  While it had indeed hurt to speak of Zelara at length, he appreciated the opportunity Lithirill granted him to do so. She often enough wanted to know about the better times with her, their companionship, their fierce idealism and hope that kept them going through trial after trial...  only for him to ruin-  Lithirill could feel where his mind was going in the way he tensed, and she preemptively squeezed his fingers, gently tapping a thumb along his ribs.  A simple reminder to keep from spiraling... or to go ahead, if he needed to- she would be there either way. Swallowing, Narathzul would master that well of emotion for the moment, snaking his arms away from her as he sat up, peering upwards at the moon for several seconds before wiping at his eyes and clearing his throat, turning over rather suddenly. He would take in the beauty before him, her pale form lit in the warm tones of wall sconces, before dragging himself over her, her hues of peridot following him for every little motion as she tried to figure what he was doing next.  He would let her mind race for a handful of seconds, looking every bit the great cat she oft described him as, before he elected to settle against her, chest to chest, finding a comfortable spot in trapping her form in his arms and welcoming the comfort that come from feeling her hand slip under his hair and caress the back of his neck. He didn't say any sort of 'You're welcome' or ‘No, thank -you-.’ to her statement. He didn't need to, it was written all over his face and his desire to be as close to her as possible.  A question did pull at him however, taking some time to brave its way out as he listened to her heartbeat. "Why do you wish to know of Zelara anyway? You mean to grant me the gift of closure, this I know, but there must be more to it than that."  he murmured quietly, tilting his head into her hand as he watched her closely. Lithirill thought about it, adopting an expression that took Narathzul back centuries in its similarities to the woman he'd lost, and...in a way, found again. She savored that sad look of wonder as her fingers curled in his hair. "I suppose...I want to know as much as I can of the woman I was...or at least, to understand -that- part of myself.  We'll likely never settle the exacts of that matter, but to know her helps me to piece together my part in all of this...and ponder at Fate's peculiar sense of humor."  she would answer, her fingers escaping their self-made confines as she drew a gentle fingernail along his cheek, "We are, all of us, traces of the past now...With their aid, we ought to paint something new, mm? Perhaps not the future you had planned of course, but something...” Narathzul would've laughed at the poetics were this another time and place, but in the moment, he could only smile. He'd never know what he did to have earned it, but neither did he surmise he'd find an end to his gratitude.  In a long, strange, convoluted way, it was as he'd wanted it, and there would never be enough words to do the feeling justice of finally finding it.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #330

“and i don't want ya  /  and i don't need ya  /  don't bother to resist, or i'll beat ya  /  it's not your fault that you're always wrong  /  the weak ones are there to justify the strong”

If you have a job, do you like it? I'm unemployed. Do you like any kinds of fruit? Well of course. Are you waiting for something right now? Covid and this headache to fuck off, May for my tattoo, to be paid to take some pictures again... What is your favorite kind of animal? Kind, not the actual animal itself? In that case, social species, usually mammals. What kind of Dippin' Dots do you like? Holy shit, I haven't had that in like a damn decade or something. I don't know, I barely remember the taste. Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? My mom. My mother is a fucking warrior. Do you have a Pinterest account? Yeah. I get a lot of photography ideas from there, as well as base pictures to make Mark icons, haha. If you were to write a book, what would it be about? The stories I and my friends have weaved in RP. Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? AHHHHH YES!!!!! Mom loves that show, so I used to watch it with her growing up. Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I don't think so. Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? I haven't, but I would for certain people. Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Probably Night at the Museum. Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? I think it's a cool creepypasta; he does look pretty unnerving with his height and especially lack of a face. The movie was good too, btw. Do you know what the Tardis is? I think almost everyone does in this generation, haha. Doctor Who ain't no joke to a whole lot of people. Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? Sure, like Pokemon or Avatar: The Last Airbender, among others. I wouldn't at all be opposed to watching The Lion Guard, either. I actually want to, with my whole TLK love. I'm not embarrassed to watch "kids" shows or movies at all. What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Having not an ounce of knowledge on how to love things in moderation/avoid total obsession with things, haha. If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? No, especially not now with my legs. Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Almost solely fiction. What modern technology are you especially grateful for? Laptops, ig. Do you have a favorite science topic? Genetics. Very fascinating stuff. Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No. What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Either Johnny Got His Gun or Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What's your most popular post? On what? If Facebook, I don't really know. Possibly my "coming out" one or a lovey-dovey essay when Sara and I were together. On Tumblr, it's definitely the gif I made of Mark and Chica (his dog) with I think over 10k notes. Manga or anime? Anime. I don't read manga, though I've been tempted with Deadman Wonderland since the show only had one season and ends on a ginormous cliffhanger, but there's more story to be had. A card game that you're good at? None, really. A popular book you haven't read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird. I feel like every school student has read it at some point. Favorite Mean Girls quote? I don't know any. It's a fine movie, but I've never understood the hype. Name your top 3 albums from your favorite band/artist. Black Rain, Ozzmosis, and... then I can't choose. I love so, so many very dearly. Name your top 5 music videos. I don't really watch music videos, so I definitely can't name five. My #1 favorite is probably "Wrong Side of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch; I absolutely cannot watch it without crying. What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develop? Animals. I was born simply adoring animals and have always wanted to protect them and their environment. Do you like monkeys? Do you believe in evolution? Yes and yes. We've literally watched it in action. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Discussing RP if you're not involved in it. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm weird. Have you considered running for president? Absolutely not. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I'd say Mark, but I'd be way too interested in dating him instead of being just friends, haha... So with that said, maybe Bindi Irwin? Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? Lyndsey would be that person, so no. She's a great friend of mine, but realistically I'd probably only ever - if ever - do that with the company of my s/o. Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? No. How long did your last relationship last? Around two years. Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Online, yes, as a little kid on the Animal Planet forum, haha... Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Yeah, Juan. Did you like it? It was a sweet moment, but I didn't want it. Does your dad smoke? Like a chimney. Is your mom over 50? Yeah. Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, kinda hooked on "The Horrible People" by Manson. I've found a lot of great music lately. Would you ever consider getting breast implants? No, but once (if...) I lose all the weight I want, it's going to be a moderate priority to get a breast lift. I've hated my body way too fucking long and am dying to be satisfied with it again, and with how much weight I need to lose, I would essentially have grandma tits. :x Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Me, haha. Among some friends. Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? That's not something I'd just go to tell someone afterwards for no reason... I'd only ever mention having lost my virginity if I was actually asked or if it was relevant to a conversation. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? I'm really trying to practice opposite action and behavioral activation, among other things I've learned in group therapy. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? Well, I want to be my own boss as a freelance photographer. In any other job, I definitely wouldn't want that. Too much responsibility and leadership skills. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? I don't think so? Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? Yes, Tyler. I felt like I was "supposed to." I felt really uncomfortable afterwards. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? Probably like, 5:00. No. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? Always an emotional connection. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? No to both. What hair color is the most attractive on the opposite sex? Of natural colors, black, but I like unnaturally dyed hair most. Where do you like to go to when you are stressed? On a carride, so long as I'm controlling the music nice and loud and not talking. Where do you go to get your hair cut/dyed? To a family friend's little salon/small business. Why do you want the career that you want? Because I adore art and think it's pretty darn magical that you can freeze a moment forever to not just remember in your head, but actually see. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I enjoyed it when I was younger. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. Have you ever worked in an office? No. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No. Did you have an Easy-Bake oven when you were little? Sure did. Have you ever seen a donkey? Yeah. Have you ever made out in a hot tub? Pretty sure no. Do you always flush the toilet after you use it? Yes. What were the last words you said to your dad? Probably "bye, love you." Have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating? Nah. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? JASON. Are you a really understanding person? Yeah, very. Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Yes. When’s the last time you wore a wig? For a witch costume many years ago. Why were you last hospitalized? Suicide attempt. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food? At least 12 hours, but I think I almost went a day once back when recovery started and my appetite was non-existent. What was the last name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Britt. How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were chicken tenders. What is your favorite kind of chip? Hot crunchy Cheetos. What grade did you have your first boyfriend? 7th. Have you ever been told that you’ve lost weight? Yeah, back when I actually WAS losing loads of weight. >> Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some things, but definitely not all. Does anyone call you babe/baby? No. Have you ever made a significant other cry? Sadly. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? Maybe just a teeeeny bit. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yep. Fuck them prices. Are you prone to illness? Definitely not. What races do you usually date? History says Caucasian, but I have no actual preference. I'll date any race. What’s your cup size? C. Ever flirted with a teacher? Yikes, no thanks. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister made the most stuff. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Well, considering it literally traumatized me... Do you have any ex’s you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, definitely. When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? Yesterday for lunch. Ham, American cheese, and mustard. Have you ever made friends with someone that you didn’t expect to get along with? Yeah. Do you own any accessories with your name on? No. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I pay no attention to this. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No. Have you ever sent a naughty text message? Suggestive ones, yes. How long have you had your pets? Roman, around two years. Venus, around three or four years. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family? Sara. Has one of your friends ever tried to hook you up with someone? Colleen tried obnoxiously hard to push Girt and me together. We all went out to eat pizza once just as friends hanging out, and this bitch prefaced an uncomfortable and nosy question to him with an even more uncomfortable "because I'm trying to get you in her pants...", and that, my friends, was the closest occasion I've ever come to slapping someone right across the face. I looked at her in absolute disgust, and Girt was clearly thinking "what the actual fuck" as well. I do not miss her feral mouth. Are you good at staring contests? No. Eye contact is very difficult for me to maintain. Do you like peanut butter? I love peanut butter. When was the last time you had to present something to your class? In this mandatory but entirely pointless entry class at my last college, we all had to do like this PowerPoint introducing ourselves. I hated it. Who was the last person that told you they missed you? I think my friend Chelsea. What store is your favorite shirt from? It's not a real store, but rather an online brand: Cloak. Mark is one of the owners/creators so I obviously support them intensely. Have you ever fell off your bed while you were sleeping? No, thankfully. Do you have something you’re supposed to tell someone, but you haven’t yet? No. What type of food do you never really eat? Vegetables, oops. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Do you like going to weddings? Not really, if I'm being honest. I'm only interested in photographing weddings for the only the couple pictures and pay, really. I'm not big on formal events. What’s your favorite flavor squash? I don’t like squash. Do you or anyone in your house have a severe allergy? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Our landlord/family friend, just to hang out for a little bit and chat with Mom. What fad were you actually into? Hm. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I'm not a very spontaneous person, so I really don't know.

[theelvenhaven]

Confessions

Ecthelion x Reader

1.9k words

Rog makes a pretty interesting assumption about the Readers love life. Ecthelion springs into action to make sure his opportunity to be with Reader isn’t missed. 

* * * 

"Ecthelion!" Rog called out as the elf-lord walked towards the pavilion that both Ecthelion and Glorfindel were standing under. The two turning their gaze from each other and to their friend with a smile,

"Rog how nice of you to finally join us." Ecthelion teased out sarcastically, making him look at him in return with a glint in his eyes. Glorfindel roughly patted him on the back, though it did not phase him, as Rog took his place to lean up against the railing.

"Do not tell me that the Lady's distracted you again?" Glorfindel teased, as Rog was always found himself inclined to stop the maids who couldn't reach higher shelves. Unashamed in admitting he definitely did enjoy their fawning and attention, but Rog smirked as his eyes landed on Ecthelion.

There was mischief there and this only made Ecthelion sigh out at the sight, knowing whatever he was going to say would be something no doubt to stir up some discomfort if he could. Rog finally bobbed his head a little at Glorfindel's words, folding his strong arms over his chest.

"Yes, but it would be our dear friend's Lady that has captured my attention this time." Glorfindel laughed out at this mirroring Rog's stance, while Ecthelion only shook his head like a disgruntled parent. Once again here Rog was trying to complicate between you and Ecthelion,

"Do explain what captured your attention, Rog?" Ecthelion said picking up a glass of wine from the table to sip out of. He wasn't complaining too much, if anything curious to hear what Rog would have to say about you. 

He always did have the most curious bits of information, even if half of it was true. Rog's smile only grew as he didn't break eye contact with Ecthelion who was trying to brush him off,

"Your dear Y/N was with your guard, Lindaleon," Rog began, only making Ecthelion roll his eyes, it was no secret you were friends with him. Close friends it seemed but for no reason to have Ecthelion all discontented over this news. 

"With his hand on their lower back, a gentle embrace... And she was certainly not rejecting the affections." Rog concluded, though his tone had grown a little more serious, which caught Ecthelion's attention. Both curiously and with worry, not even Ecthelion had embraced you yet. Rog was never serious when jesting, and he quickly took this information to heart.

He had been keeping things as steady as they came; he was not ready to confess just yet, though it was in the near future... Had you figured out that he liked you? If so had you gotten bored waiting around for him and moved on? Had you not liked him to begin with?

For once Ecthelion wore his look of panic on the outside, making the two elf lords around him snicker at the sight. Bringing Ecthelion back down to earth before he waved the laughter away, setting the glass down.

"Are you alright dear Ecthelion?" Glorfindel asked with a bright smile, enjoying the sight of his friend floundering in love for once. Ecthelion thought he was clever, but with Rog and Glorfindel together, their friend underestimated them. The pair exchanging a glance as Ecthelion didn't even register Glorfindel's words.

"I must go." He grumbled out, thoughts tumbling over one another in an effort to come up with something to say to you. If you liked and loved Lindaleon, he would be... okay with that if that's what made you happy, but he had to get it off of his chest that he was in love with you first. Without another thought he was hurrying off the pavilion while Rog and Glorfindel called out to the "lover boy" with laughter and some encouragement.

Everyone that saw Ecthelion coming was quick to move out of his way, the ellon deep in his thoughts hardly noticing the others around him before he finally made it back to his House. Being greeted with many nodding their heads and "my lord" but he hardly paid them any attention, too focused on the current agenda.

Without any hesitation he began to search for you, knowing there were only two places Rog would have seen you. In the gardens or in the courtyard near his workshop, and he was confident Rog had seen you once he left the workshop after dropping a few things off.

As he came to workshop immediately his suspicions were confirmed as there you stood in the evening sunlight with Lindaleon. You had yet to spot Ecthelion, Lindaleon blocking your view with his back to him. Quietly he assessed every single aspect of the both of you, taking a moment to admire how lovely you looked.

He was assessing the body language, looking to try and see if you looked at the guard with adoring eyes. But he could not tell and Ecthelion didn’t know if this soothed his panic or made it worse. That was until Lindaleon leaned down to kiss the top of your head, making him suck in a breath harshly at the sight.

Sorrow filled him at the sight, struggling to believe that he had misjudged how you felt for him. Nonetheless as Lindaleon walked away, he begin to approach you, looking at you in a cool and relaxed manner that you were used to seeing. Completely hiding the heartbreak he was feeling,

“Oh! Ecthelion! It’s a pleasure to see you!” Your voice was full of mirth, and he could not help the soft smile wanting to pull at his lips. Despite that sight, your bright eyes were focused solely on him and he felt his breath leave him. By the stars he needed to get a hold of himself.

“My dear, Y/N.” He began bowing his head respectfully to you, before giving you a charming smile. Bright blue eyes looking down at you, making a soft blush rise to your face.

“May we speak privately?” Ecthelion asked you before you could even get a moment to respond to his greeting. You nodded at his words, noticing how Ecthelion seemed conflicted on whether to touch you or to offer his arm to you. It was not often that you were so easily able to read him, his demeanor much more guarded and collected than it was now.

You couldn't help but feel the concern bubble up inside of you. Was something wrong? You wondered, following after him as he opened the door to his workshop. Ever the gentleman making sure to allow you to enter first before following close behind you and shutting the door.

"What is the matter, Thel? Is everything alright?" You asked him with concern using your nickname for him, Ecthelion stood in silence in thought. Hands clasped in front of his cerulean and silver robes in a stoic manner, his face had grown rather serious making you hold your own breath as you waited impatiently for him to begin.

"Y/N, there is something that I must tell you. Though I hope you know I mean no disrespect." Ecthelion's voice was even, eyes flitting up to you almost apologetically and you nodded as if urging him to continue.

"I doubt you'd ever cause much or any disrespect at all Ecthelion." You assured him as you folded your arms across your chest, plainly wearing your confusion. Ecthelion sighed for a moment shaking his head some, knowing that he should just leave your relationship alone.

That he shouldn't confess how he was feeling, and make you feel worse for wear about this. You were a wonderful soul, and Stars forbid if this made you feel conflicted on such a happy time. Even if he felt saddened, he didn't want to make you feel the same.

"I have been feeling this way for quite some time, Y/N. I in no way wish to cause any conflict between us as I value our friendship deeply." Ecthelion continued making your brows draw together as you frowned with worry at where this was going. Had he found his one?

Did he know you liked him and was calling you out on it now when he already found his? Eru was he breaking up your friendship? You wanted desperately to interrupt him, but decided to let him speak his peace.

If your love for Ecthelion wasn't returned that was okay by you as long as he was happy, you most certainly didn't want to lose your closest friend you had. You just wanted him to be happy,

"I have greatly enjoyed our time spent together, you have been wonderful company. I look forward to our daily walks, our long evenings reading and drinking, and the conversations that we share together. It is time never wasted, and I always wish to spend more of my alone time with you." You could hardly believe your ears that he was even saying this! Was he saying what you thought you were? Had you actually heard this correctly?

"I have undoubtedly fallen in love with you, and I know this could not come at a worse time-"

"Worse time? Thel, how is this the worst time?" You interrupted him breathlessly, softly stepping forward towards him, your heart pounding wildly in your chest. Ecthelion furrowed his brows at you, confused how you couldn't see that this was a horrible time!

"Why would it not be? You are with Lindaleon, I cannot see how this comes at a good time." At this you gave Ecthelion an incredulous look, trying to piece together where he ever got the idea that you and Lindaleon were in love? Ecthelion quietly watched you, seeing you fumble in confusion at his words. 

"In.. love with Lindaleon? Ecthelion what ever gave you that idea?" You asked him with a halfhearted laugh, though this time it was Ecthelion's turn to laugh some in exasperation. His cheeks beginning to bloom some with color, but then quickly the expression was washed away with seriousness looking back to you.

"Then what was that kiss Lindaleon gave to you?" His voice firm catching you off guard some, but you only smiled at him. You couldn't help but snicker at this whole mess, he had gotten things so very wrong.

"Lindaleon has explained to me that I remind him of his younger sibling that still resides in Valinor." You began folding your arms over your chest raising a brow at him, 

"And I think of him like my older brother. It was strictly done in a familial manner and nothing more, I assure you." You continued before you began to approach him again, this time standing much closer to Ecthelion. His composure clearly rattled some by this new information, your hand came to brush against his fingers that rested at his side now.

"Though... in case you were wondering," You began in a soft voice pulling Ecthelion from his thoughts, eyes fixated on you and goosebumps rising on his skin at the brush of your skin. 

"I am very much in love with you too..." At this Ecthelion smiled, very much relieved and thrilled to hear that he had been right, and that you did love him too. He brought a hand up to your cheek, thumb gently stroking it before he leaned down, lips pressing against yours gently. You received him eagerly, lips melding against his with care. 

Interlacing his fingers with yours, he pulled you closer, kissing you with more passion that he had been desperate to show you. Finally he no longer had to hide his feelings nor his affections for you any longer, or worry about you being with anyone else. 

“Would you do me the honor of courting me?” He whispered out to you, soft and warm lips brushing against your own. A wide smile pulled at your lips as you began to nod,

“Yes Ecthelion, a thousand times yes.” You answered quickly, before finally kissing him again.

[barcelona-sergei]

Haru Katō : Clandestine

disclaimer: this short fanfic is based only on the 2 episodes of FKB:U that has been aired so far. the events and some characters are solely my work and no spoilers from the actual series. if i have misjudged the characters mentioned once new episodes are released, please kindly understand. 

Chapter 2 

Word count: 5.3k  

The detective woke up from his deep slumber. Dazed, he did his usual routine for work then. Buttoning one of his white dress shirts, sloppily doing his tie, slipping on his grey slacks, belt, his cozy brown jacket and styling his bed hair into something presentable. Upon slipping on his dress shoes, Haru drove off to his workplace. 

Parking his car near the headquarters with a tumbler of coffee, Haru was not aware of his surroundings just yet. Sleep still resting in his brain. A car had been tailing the tired policeman, stalkers of his hiding their faces. 

[Y/N] strutted her way to the headquarters of the metropolitan police department to have a meeting with the chief and her commissioner. Her unprompted partner from the night before came into her line of sight, letting a small smile grace her beautiful face. About to raise her hand to wave at Haru, her peripheral caught another familiar face from the party. 

A not so welcome and friendly face. 

The woman examined the tailing car, concluding that the faces of the two men belong to the kingpin’s son, Kodama Yashiro, and a dog under him. She questioned and cursed in her mind, how the fuck did they find us so fast? 

Hopefully it was just a coincidence, rather than hunting her beloved Haru. 

[Y/N] hastily moved towards Haru to meet at the entrance of headquarters, startling the detective. The cogs in his brain still aren’t warmed up enough to function properly. She hooked her arm through Haru’s and harshly pulled the man against her once more, using the wall of the building as a shield. 

“[Y/N]?!” Haru yelled incredulously and stared at the agent with wide eyes. 

But the agent didn’t pay attention to him. Taking a peek from behind the wall, [Y/N] confirmed her unfortunate suspicions. She took out her phone and discreetly snapped pictures of the two men, as proof for her upcoming meeting. Now her plan to make Haru join the operation solidified. The woman wordlessly kept their linked arms, walking inside the headquarters for safekeeping. 

Now in their shielded work environment, [Y/N] snatched her arm away with a deep frown, upset eyes staring into Haru’s golden ones. The man swallowed thickly, tensing underneath the intimidating gaze from the woman’s. Her mauve lips moved, “Haru-chan, did you know you were being followed?” 

The man was sweating bullets at this point, he couldn’t recollect any signs of being tailed this morning to save his life, literally. Taking his silence as an answer, the agent clicked her tongue and led the way to Haru’s office. 

“Who was following me?” Haru sheepishly asked, one other question itching to come out. But he held his tongue and just accepted [Y/N]’s presence in headquarters. “My dearest, Kodama Yashiro and one of his men were the ones following you,” [Y/N] handed her unlocked phone, Haru instantly recognizing the men in the picture. 

“HAH? How did they find me already?” Haru’s outburst caught his colleagues’ attention, his question falling quieter with each word. “I’m not too sure. I just hope it was a coincidence they saw you in the streets then followed,” [Y/N] thought out loud. The agent eyed the tumbler in the detective’s hand, desperately needing caffeine to fuel her brain due to the turn of events. Haru followed her gaze down to his hand. 

“And I’m here to meet with Takei-san and the commissioner.” She continued, answering his non-verbal question. It’s as if she could read his mind. Haru mutely nodded and handed his slightly sipped drink, the woman gratifyingly taking a swig of the energizing beans. The woman before him stopped in front of his designated office, opening the door. 

“I’ll see you later, if this meeting goes well,” she motioned for him to enter, the man nodding as an understanding and a farewell, coffee now back in his hand. The door shut behind him, Haru instantly felt prying eyes on him. Shunned silence… “What?” 

“WHAT? That’s it? Are you not gonna explain who that hot babe is?!” Kamei screeched as the detective sat down at his desk. His over-dramatic choice of friends might be the death of him. Haru shrugged, “she’s an acquaintance.” The detective very much so lied, for [Y/N] was nowhere near an acquaintance. But he needed to tread lightly on this topic because it may come back and bite him in the ass. 

“Yeah right! I heard her say ‘see you later.’” The blond detective air quoted with a high-pitched voice to mimic a woman’s, exaggerating [Y/N]’s farewell. Haru could only roll his eyes at the dramatic blond, “just get back to work Kamei.” 

But Kamei scoffed in response, “you’re really gonna say that? Am I the only one who cares about this?” The blond man’s outburst was met with silence from his co-workers. No one was actually listening to his and Haru’s bickering. 

Kamei sighed in defeat and grudgingly went back to work. 

“I have successfully transferred files to this hard-drive from one of the main bases,” the agent slid the brown sealed bag towards her superiors. The authoritative men nodded in approval and the commissioner put away the vital piece for their operation. 

“About Inspector Katō, my suspicions were proven correct right before we clocked in this morning. Kodama Yashiro and one dog stalked the Inspector.” Chief Takei visibly and the commissioner rubbed his temples. Commissioner Mitsuhiro leaned forward from his couch, “what do you propose to do, agent?” 

The cunning woman repressed a satisfied smirk, her plan laying out right before her. “Let Inspector Katō join us. I strongly believe he is reliable, he can be an asset in this operation. A positive effect is I can protect him the entire operation, which I promise on my badge.” [Y/N] laid out her proposal with confidence, cowering away now won’t get her anywhere with the brass. 

Her words weighed heavily on both men, silent quick thinking to outweigh the pros and cons of the agent’s proposition. Chief Takei deeply thought about his precious subordinate, if he was risking Haru’s wellbeing by accepting. 

“In my opinion, I do not see any flaws for the Inspector to join and I am confident in my agent. It is your final decision Takei-dono, he is one of your men.” The attention now shifted on Chief Takei’s thinking form. The chief removed his hand from his face and straightened his back, giving a slight nod to the agent in front of him: 

“We’ll make it a collaboration between the detective division and the cipher pol division.” 

Satisfied, [Y/N] leaned back on her designated seat. Chief Takei dialled the detective division and commanded instructions through the phone. 

“Katō-kun, Kambe. Make your way to Takei-kun’s office please.” Chief Kiyomazu states with cheer, before tinkering away with his plastic model ship. Haru sighed and led the way to the Division 1 head office, with Daisuke stepping next to the taller detective. 

“Your acquaintance has good taste,” Daisuke oddly commented. “What?” Haru’s eyebrow arched in question, weirded out that the rich short stack made small talk. Reasons beyond Haru’s mind, his annoyance against Kambe doubled with that comment towards his ‘acquaintance.’ 

“The Valentino cape. Looks flattering on her.” 

“Thanks…?”

The small talk awkwardly died, for the two men arrived at the door of the Division 1 head office. The taupe-haired detective knocked twice and immediately received a muffled approval to enter. Speaking of the devil, the woman with the supposed Valentino cape sat on one of the couches. [Y/N] locked eyes with bright golden ones that she dearly loves, then catching the gaze of piercing blue eyes, the infamous Kambe she did her research on. 

“Let’s rid of formalities. Inspector Katō, due to your involvement with Cipher Pol’s operation against the yakuza Kodama Yoshio, Commissioner Mitsuhiro and I agreed for you to join.” The hairs on the back of Haru’s neck stood at Chief Takei’s command. The detective doesn’t know if he’s excited, confused or scared of this outcome. [Y/N] and Kambe? He might actually go crazy. 

“You will be working with the main squad to take down the final boss. Inspector Kambe you will be working with the tactical team in destroying the farms, your work was impressive with the drug cases of celebrities.” Haru nodded stiffly, glancing towards the scheming woman. [Y/N] returned his glance with a hidden smirk. Daisuke let out a small smirk and nodded, excited for his new assignment to test out new technology. 

“You will be briefed once you arrive at your respective teams. Your participation immediately begins today, don’t slack off at this important collaboration.” Chief Takei firmly commanded, face darkened with seriousness. Both men thought the meeting was over, before the commissioner spoke: 

“This is a confidential operation, only personnel in this room, your respective squads and your original division are aware of this case. If a single breath is leaked, you will be faced with irreversible consequences.” 

The atmosphere in the room grew incredibly heavier with Commissioner Mitsuhiro’s grim threat. The police officials remained in silence, until Chief Takei cleared his throat, “one more thing, Inspector Katō.” 

“This is what you get for being such a stickler to justice and sticking your nose in other people’s business, your life’s in danger!” Kamei scolded as Haru’s ears were about to fall off. The rest of his co-workers looked at him with such worry. Nonetheless the detective continued packing his things from his desk. 

“If you’re not gonna help me pack then don’t make this harder for me and shut up.” Haru huffed with annoyance, earning an equally annoyed huff back from his blond friend. He could still feel the concerned gazes on him. Mahoro finally broke into loud wails that she’s been fighting off, flinging herself unto Haru. The detective stumbled back, a light blush dusting his cheeks from the sudden contact. 

“Katō-kun! You have to be really careful ok?!” Mahoro cried out. Haru awkwardly patted the small woman’s back, quite unsure how to comfort a crying Mahoro. A frail hand petted Haru’s messy locks, the respected detective Nakamoto gently looking up to Haru: “You must come back to us alive and well.” 

Haru chuckled at his colleagues’ overreaction, “to ease your minds, I’ve been assigned a security detail. They’ll keep me safe.” As if she functions life clockwork, the aforementioned security detail opened the office door. Now all eyes are on the mysterious woman. 

[Y/N] scanned the shabby office, her blank expression turning to a deep frown the second time today. Her sharp eyes zeroed on the pink-haired woman’s arms that were around someone too comfortably, igniting the ugly emotion of jealousy through the agent’s veins. Haru could see the dark fiery aura emitting from [Y/N]’s body, puzzled why the woman was in such a bad mood.  

With the shake of her head, the woman kept her emotions in check and rid of such a childish feeling. She then proceeded to display her badge, “My code name is Agent Velia. I am here to escort Inspector Katō as a security detail and to provide safekeeping. Pleasure to meet you.” The woman bowed after her introduction. 

Much to [Y/N]’s delight, Mahoro removed herself from Haru to shake hands with [Y/N]. The detectives crowded around the agent, one by one introducing themselves. Then bombarded the poor agent with questions that she either couldn’t answer due to confidentiality or to protect her identity and lectures on keeping the beloved Haru safe. 

“Alright everyone, stop interviewing her. We have to go, we’ll be off now!” With loud protests from his colleagues, Haru exclaimed his farewell and grabbed [Y/N]’s hand to escape from the noisy bunch. 

“For your maximum comfort, you have the choice where to stay. You can remain in your own place but that means I stay there with you.” [Y/N] explained the protocol of security detailing as the couple walked to the rear exit of the headquarters, the destination being [Y/N]’s ride. It was decided to leave his car for a while in the care of the department, having a high risk of being tailed. 

The man silently contemplated his decision. His place isn’t exactly a top notch residential space. Decently safe area, only a few drug deals here and there, his apartment could put up a fight from break-ins and has livable facilities. 

“Let’s go to my place first.” 

Ah, his worries about his place became evident as the two officials stepped foot in the genkan. Having two people removing their footwear at the same time was rather cramped. The hallway was even a bit too narrow. The agent noticed how the doorknob easily rattled. She noticed the dainty windows that are spelled out as an entrance to intruders. The living room was not spacious enough to run from an attacker. A flimsy door that’s supposed to be a barricade to the single bedroom from the rest of the apartment. 

The woman didn’t want to judge her friend’s living condition, but it was far from ideal for a safe home. Haru didn’t need to hear her words to know this wasn’t the safest place for his life. “Haru.” The man turned to look at her. 

“We can stay at my house.” If you’d like… Haru finished the sentence for her. The two didn’t need long winded explanations from the other, what they shared in the past simply enough to know what’s on the other’s mind. The detective nodded and went inside his bedroom. Normally he’d be a stubborn spitfire and immediately refuse such a bogus suggestion. Heck, even he wouldn’t want a security detail watching his every move. 

Though his childishness knows a limit. He’s neck deep in a life threatening matter. Sure, being in the front lines is already a near death experience, but being targeted by the yakuza was a whole new level of experience. The man may be stubborn, but he knows to put absolute trust in [Y/N], no matter what.

[Y/N] examined the living room and settled her gaze on a picture frame. She stepped closer and held the frame, nostalgia crashing through her. A photograph of their graduation day. Her and Haru in their police uniforms, styled to the nines and saluted the camera man. The woman let loose a good old smile, the same one as the photograph staring back at her, touched that the detective still treasured their memories together. 

She was relieved she wasn’t alone. 

Haru silently stared at [Y/N], golden eyes softening with upturned lips. She still had the carbon copy fox smile of hers, canines slightly peeking from her plush lips and her eyes expressing the smile too. 

“We ready to go?” The detective broke the ambience, startling the agent a tiny bit. She turned to look at him, though she didn’t bother hiding the grin from her face, which he was truly grateful for. He wasn’t sure if he was seeing things, cause he thought her [E/C] eyes sparkled more. If that was even possible. 

“Is that all you need?” [Y/N] gawked at the singular large duffel bag on the detective’s shoulder. Haru shrugged, “dress shirts, slacks, underwear, toiletries and pajamas. Just the necessities.” The woman scoffed with disbelief, “Haru-chan you know this operation can take a month or more.” 

“You have a washing machine and dryer don’t you?” The man answered back with retort, leading the way out of his apartment with the woman towing behind. “Dear, hate to break it to you but we have a dress policy. I’ll purchase a few suits for you.” Now it was Haru’s turn to click his tongue in annoyance, [Y/N]’s words reminded him too much of a certain black-haired man. 

“One is fine. I have an old suit I can wear.” 

“And you need a whole wardrobe of disguises whenever we go undercover or in public.” 

“[Y/N]-kun, I’ll make do with my own purchased clothes.” The woman could only bite her tongue against Haru’s frugality. 

“No this is for your safety too. I have a friend who can give us a discount. We’re settling you first in my house then we’re going shopping. No arguments.” [Y/N] stated with finality and slamming the trunk shut, strutting to the driver’s seat before Haru could process her command. The man opened his mouth in protest, then just closing it again: speechless. Indeed he had no arguments, so he sat in the passenger seat in defeat. 

The small dispute between the officials ended with the agent as the victor. 

The drive felt short as the two filled in the other of the past 4 years of each other’s lives, with a hint of banter and casual flirting. Soon enough, the car entered a secluded hill then the agent’s villa came into the picture. [Y/N] entered the garage, killing the engines. Haru could only let his jaw hang and marvel at the impressive building [Y/N] called home. The officials emerged from the garage into the main foyer with Haru’s belongings in hand. 

“Xander, with me, is Inspector Katō. He will be living here indefinitely. Make sure to recognize his face.” [Y/N] spoke to no one in particular, immensely confusing the hell out of the man. Kinda scared him because he didn’t want his face to be documented. 

“Don’t worry Haru-chan, Xander is a personalized virtual assistant from a friend in the technology division. He’s kinda a robot butler cause I don’t want to hire one.” [Y/N] explained as if it was the most common thing to own in the world. Haru just dumbly nodded. 

“Now let’s give you a tour of the Veila Villa!” The agent exclaimed with excitement and tugged the detective along. In the span of 30 minutes, Haru’s mind couldn’t comprehend how one woman could own such an automated grand home. Damn, his bank account was ashamed. It slightly irked him how [Y/N]’s home really reminded him of a certain flashy detective. 

The tour ended in Haru’s appointed room. It was bigger than his whole apartment. The detective plopped down on the cloudy king-sized bed, feeling the mattress dip above his head. Haru turned his head towards the high-ceiling windows. The second floor gave a fantastic view of the small woods that expanded to the cityscape. 

“How’d you manage to get this awesome place?” Haru asked quietly, entranced by the blue skies and floating clouds. [Y/N] let out a sigh and lay on her side, hand supporting her head. “The technology is from amazing friends, I agreed to be their guinea pig. As for the lot, the government offered it to me as compensation, as long as it can be a safe environment to experiment new inventions…” The woman answered with minute hesitance, which the man caught on to. 

[Y/N]’s hand found itself playing with taupe locks, as she pondered whether to shut up now or tell Haru the whole truth. Haru relaxed under the gentle touches of the woman and waited patiently for her to finish her story. 

“I nearly died twice undercover,” [Y/N] trailed off somberly. Terrifying memories flashed through her mind in an instant, but she felt numb. Her heart no longer clenched in pain nor did her body remember agonizing inflictions. Haru’s eyes enlarged and immediately sat up. He looked down on the lying form of the woman, looking for the sparkle in her eyes. But was met with dulled pairs. 

Haru stroked her soft tresses and lay down in front of [Y/N], then enveloping his arms around her body. Haru pulled her close. [Y/N] closed her eyes and delved in Haru’s comforting body warmth, placing her hands on his toned chest. The detective’s hand ran through the long locks of the agent, as if time was turned back for the couple, this scene of comfort replayed. 

Serenity dwelled in their presence. 

“Do you want to eat first?” The woman whispered into his chest, afraid to ruin the peaceful atmosphere. The man nodded, “I’ll make something.” The woman’s heart leaped in joy, about to taste the legendary cooking of Katō Haru once again. 

The detective led the way to the kitchen, like he owned the villa, rummaging through the stocked fridge then setting to whip up a meal. [Y/N] placed herself on one of the stools of the kitchen island, face resting in her hands to watch the man do his thing. 

“Why’d you get such a big place?” Haru piqued with interest, spreading the oil on the pan. The woman’s cheeks dusted with pink and turned away to hide her blushing face from the man. Haru wouldn’t miss it for the world to see the usually collected [Y/N] to be flustered, laughing at her reaction. 

“Why are you pink? Is it that embarrassing?” 

The woman fanned herself with her hands and exhaled a breath to calm herself. “Kicking out the government, I plan to live here with the love of my life and have a family.” [Y/N] locked eyes with Haru, in her heart every word was meant just for him. Haru’s eyes dilated, the same pink gracing his cheeks and the hairs on his nape stood in attention. He was now flustered too, drinking up [Y/N]’s every word to heart. 

“Oh what the hell, it's not even worth getting worked up on. That’s a normal thing to want.” Haru plated their meals. 

“It is a bit. I’m already twenty-nine but marriage seems like a fever dream for me.” [Y/N] helped bring their meals to the dining table. The man made a mental note of that, having an idea of a plan for the end of the operation. 

The two officials ate their lunch, the woman complimenting the man’s impeccable cooking skills. Soon enough they hit the road again, the destination to [Y/N]’s frequented boutique. “[Y/N]-kun you really don’t have to do this.” Haru whined in protest as the agent entered a rather boujee automated revolving door. 

The two officials are now surrounded by rows, mannequins and racks of lavish articles of clothing. The detective felt he stuck out like a sore thumb in the boutique. It should be the damned Kambe who should be looking at the gorgeous suits, not some poor wannabe. He felt a tug, twice, from the agent, meaning to pay attention up a head. 

“Veila-chan!” A woman exuberantly bellowed and  appeared before the officials, dolled up with beautiful fabrics that probably cost more than Haru’s car. [Y/N] walked into the open arms of the stylish woman, hugging each other tightly and giving kisses on each cheek. A rather strange greeting in the detective’s books. 

“Chisato-san! Long time no see.” [Y/N] greeted back with the same energy. Both women giggled and quickly caught up, leaving Haru in his own world. The agent grabbed a hold of Haru’s shoulder and introduced him to her friend, “Chisato-san, meet Inspector Katō Haru, Inspector meet my dear friend Chisato-san. She owns this boutique and the designer friend I was talking about.” 

The two adults bowed to each other. The eyes of Chisato-san examined Haru closely, the detective under exceptional discomfort. “We’re actually here for Haru, we need a few suits and outfits.” [Y/N] requested from her friend. The fashion designer yelped in joy and clapped her hands, “I’ll take good care of him!” 

Haru was dragged away from [Y/N], the agent waving towards him with a mischievous smile, Chisato-san instructing him to pick different colour palettes and styles of his preference. It amazed him how Chisato-san worked like a bot, once receiving his preferences, the fashion designer zoomed off to piece outfits together. 

The detective found himself by himself in a well-lit dressing room with at least ten customised outfits on the hooks. Haru sighed for the umpteenth time today, discarding his own clothes, unable to win against [Y/N]. He donned on his first suit out of many, striped with thin white lines. The man looked dashing, if he could say so himself. 

The detective emerged from the dressing room and looked at the agent straight away, wanting her approval. Well, he definitely got more than enough of an approval. [Y/N]’s blown out eyes drank the sight in front of her, the pink on her cheeks deepening every minute. Haru sauntered towards the fitting platform, as though it was a runway show. 

Haru relished for being the reason for [Y/N]’s flustered state. Set on exploiting her reaction, the man put on a smug expression with a hand pushing back his hair and his other in his pocket. His actions definitely had an impact, now the woman’s face a nice shade of pink with a hand covering half her face. The man knew how to elicit a beautiful reaction from her. 

Stepping on the fitting platform, Haru fully surveyed his form in the suit on the wall of mirrors. Him and Chisato-san discussed the quirks of the suit and what to alter, whilst [Y/N] was in the world of her own, checking out the detective. 

That is one fine ass… 

The fervent tension between the officials did not go past Chisato-san. The designer couldn’t exactly put her finger on her wandering thoughts about Haru. But upon seeing her dear friend’s loud expressions, the puzzle pieces matched. She could see what Haru was trying to do, for Chisato-san also loved to see a rare flustered [Y/N]. 

“I was wondering earlier why you sounded familiar, Inspector.” Chisato-san caught Haru’s attention as he appeared with a new suit on. “Why do I sound familiar?” Haru stretched out his arms, as Chisato-san pinned certain areas of the fabric to adjust. 

The designer had an evil smirk etched in her eyes and smile, as she and [Y/N] glared at each other through the mirror. The woman finally snapped out of her daze and was fully listening to the conversation. 

And she did not like Chisato-san’s evil expression. 

“Well, I was always wondering why [Y/N] stayed single throughout our entire five years of friendship. Without fail she turned down my offers of blind dates or mixers. I thought she only wasted her beauty and personality by seeing no one.” 

Ah, [Y/N] was right on the dot. Her dear friend was about to expose her and there was no stopping her. The woman felt cold sweats on her forehead and her breathing hitched. Flirting and using each other’s body to relieve stress was one thing, but a flat out confession was a whole new level. Haru nodded along to Chisato-san’s story.

“One day she told me stories of her academy days, specifically mentioning one trainee that stuck through thick and thin with her. She gushed on and on about how heroic, how strong and how handsome he was. Veila-chan sounded so cute, like she was a highschool girl. That was when I found out that one hero held her heart.” 

[Y/N] wanted to commit numerous crimes on her dear friend right on the spot. She did not care if she was sent to prison for a lifetime. The designer exaggerated and romanticized their memory together way too much. The story she told was as good as [Y/N] confessing to Haru she loved him for five years now. 

The woman was afraid that it would turn their relationship sour, things between them becoming painstakingly awkward, especially now that they have to live with each other for an uncertain period. She desperately didn’t want to find out Haru’s reaction, but that would back up Chisato-san’s story if she shied away. 

It wouldn’t take an idiot to understand that the strong, handsome and heroic trainee [Y/N] squealed about was indeed him, Katō Haru. Judging by the beet red tone of her face, Haru’s doubts of the story ceased to exist. Excitement and gladness coursed through his body, a hue of pink across his cheeks as a physical sign. How he wished he could jump, clack his heels and shout in celebration. 

Though the detective settled with a bright smile on his features. He caught [Y/N]’s eye for a millisecond, before she whipped her head to the side. The man just chuckled, finding her hidden timidity adorable. 

With the swipe of [Y/N]’s black card, ten bags on each person, the officials made their merry way back out of the boutique with Chisato-san’s farewells. “I know she’s supposed to be protecting you, but take care of her well, Katō-san.” Chisato-san spoke to Haru in confidence. Haru chuckled and nodded, the two adults bowing to each other as a goodbye. [Y/N] blew her a flying kiss, before racing out of the area. Haru didn’t dare speak of the incident, waiting for a better chance to tease [Y/N] about it. 

After shopping in a few more boutiques and eating dinner, the officials went back to [Y/N]’s home. Shopping and being on his feet all day, Haru felt a new type of exhaustion. The massaging shower of his guest room eased off the day’s events, the new set of silk pajamas [Y/N] bought felt soft against his skin. 

Finishing drying his hair, Haru tucked himself under the cozy blankets. Upon hearing soft knocks on his door, he sat up against the headboard and gave permission for [Y/N] to enter. “Cozy?” The woman inquired with a smile, making her way towards the large windows. Haru nodded in response, hiding a yawn behind his palm. 

The blinds whirred down by the buttons of the remote, [Y/N] briefly explaining the functions of the device. “I’m in the room beside you, don’t hesitate to knock if you need anything.” [Y/N] offered her hospitality as she put away the remote. Haru watched her move, contemplating whether he should put his plan into action or not. 

“Goodnight, Haru-chan.” The woman honoured Haru with a soft smile. It’s now and or never. His hand flew to grab a hold of her wrist, stopping the woman from leaving. [Y/N] froze and peered down to their point of contact, confusion occupying her mind. Wordlessly, Haru shifted to make room and towed [Y/N] in his bed. Pulling the blankets over their bodies, the man encased the woman in his arms. 

[Y/N] was about to satirize Haru’s actions but became awestruck. Her mouth flew shut. His brilliant eyes held melancholy and such tenderness. She felt a warm hand caress the side of her face, the woman can melt under his gaze and touches. 

“I don’t like the way you gained this house. I don’t like how you had to recover from near-death experiences alone.” Haru spoke softly, playing with the tresses framing [Y/N]’s face. 

Haru’s hand moved to the back of her head and pulled her against his chest, “I promise I’ll be by your side...” the man stroked her hair. 

“Through thick and thin.” 

The man ended his covenant to the woman with a gentle kiss pressed to her hair. His words and affection swayed her heart vastly that she could cry. She placed her hand on his chest as an answer of accord, soft and steady thumps of his heart at her fingertips. 

She thought she was already deep in. But she fell further in her feelings for the man who’s holding her dearly.  Though it was reciprocated.

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