#i manage to draw them different every time i draw them istg

[vampzmeel]

endverse! dean and tiny (s1 or earlier) sammy?

keep your friends close and brother closer or something

[bunnimew]

How did you start writing on ao3? What was the learning process like, formatting and etc?

Hi Anon!!

Writing on AO3, honestly, was a dream, because both of us started on ffnet, and posting to ffnet is exhausting. In comparison, AO3 is easy as pie. Kam and I actually met because we were both authors of X/1999 fic on ffnet. Someone put all the authors they knew into one giant AIM chatroom and the rest is history 😂

But that was back in high school, sometime around 2005. Kam primarily draws/paints, and really only wrote one (1) thing. I wrote a handful of short fics, tried to write regularly, but just could not keep it up through college. Idk if you've got a physics degree, but it kind of takes a lot of mental energy and there was nothing left for writing for fun. I managed, like... istg like 3 short fics early in college (And they went on lj, lawl) and then nothing for years.

Somewhere in there, I started reading on AO3. I consume fanfic like it's an Olympic sport. Eventually I got an account.

And then, one day, I just got tired of not writing. Instead of saying that classic, "If only I had the time..." I decided to make the time. I looked up tips on writing. Took a glance at the writing shelf in the library, and read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Took actual notes. Applied them. This was around 2015.

The biggest thing really is making it a habit. Even if you just stare at a screen, putting the time into staring at it makes a difference. But Anne had another tip that revolutionized my process: writing advantageously. I don't only write when I make the time; I'll stop in the middle of the grocery store and write down an idea if I have it. I write anywhere and everywhere.

In 2019, a good friend of mine hit me with a new technique that changed everything again: word tracking. I use Tris' word tracking spreadsheet every year now and it doubled my output in 2019 and has increased steadily through 2022.

And 2022 had an insane output, because I unlocked another new skill: writing out of order. I used to have to write chronologically, but now I've figured out how to not do that, and I managed that illusive 50k in one month last year.

So what was my learning process like? A whole lot of trial and error. Sometimes tips didn't work out, but I kept trying everything. Sometimes I had to try them more than once, as I grew as a writer. Writing out of order didn't work for me until I figured out how to make it work for me. Shitty first drafts also didn't work for me, until I found a half-way method that does work for me. If every author out there tells you the same trick, chances are it's a good trick. But tricks take practice and time to get good at them. I had to be patient with myself, and I had to keep at it, one bird at a time.

Grant Faulkner's Pep Talks for Writers has an excellent anecdote that boils down to: write more things. We like to get caught up in trying to make our projects perfect, but we learn more by just finishing it up and moving onto the next. Sometimes you need to learn from the next project before you can figure out what's wrong with the first. Some stories will just never be that great. And it's okay. Don't get stuck. Write more things.

“if you are writing the clearest, truest words you can find and doing the best you can to understand and communicate, this will shine on paper like its own little lighthouse. Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

So thank you, Anon ❤ and I hope something in all of that was what you were looking for.

PS, if you write on gdocs and don't like removing all those extra spaces between paragraphs when you copy to AO3, just change the gdocs spacing to 'add space before paragraph' + 'add space after paragraph' and that'll make it match AO3. Only real formatting tip I've used 😂

[eloise175]

SISTER SQUAD!🥰😍😘⭐️💅🏻💋✨💞💗💅🏻💞

Ok so like- I was thinking about my head canons for my fav bitches while high on serotonine and came up with this.

Penelope and Yvonne definitively have a sister squad, and their symbol is absolutely a fricking frilly bow.

They include Reynold because he can’t for the life of him say no to his sisters, and later on Emily joins as well, because we stan Emily. Period.

(Eckles is also roped into joining because c’mon- mostly no one is able to say no to Penelope and Yvonne)

Derrick manages to refuse their invite to join their group multiple times, and likes to laugh at Reynold and make fun of him every time they do girly stuff.

They once did his make up and Derrick laughed at his unfortunate younger brother for two weeks straight every time he saw him. Still does remember from time to time and starts bringing it up randomly, especially when they argue.

Reynold likes to reassure himself assuming that his older brother is jealous that he gets ‘extra sister quality time’.

And Reynold is a MATERIAL BOSS GWORL PRINCESS who needs no knight in shining armor to come and save him- thank you very much. 😌💅🏻

He’s also the embodiment of literal man-child.

But I still insulted him quite a lot while drawing him, because he had no business being that hard to draw.

Istg I wrestled with his facial features for DAYS to make him look good.

Yvonne’s hand also gave me pain, and probably scarred me emotionally for life.

(I took inspo from the manhwa with the chibis, don’t come for me-)

Also little insight on my head canons, (I might post all of my head canons later on this week when I have time because boy there is so much to unpack):

Yvonne came back a lot earlier than in the novel (at like 13/14, and she’s not possessed); Penelope bumped into her once, while sneaking out the duchy for the umpteenth time because she couldn’t stand her supposed family and the servants anymore.

Every time Penny went out from then on was to meet up with her and different commoner kids because she genuinely liked spending time with them. She was basically like: ‘I FINALLY FOUND MY PEOPLE Y’ALL!’

She realized that it was Yvonne 6 months later, after getting to know her better.

They have been inseparable ever since.

Derrick and Reynold are still little shits but realize their mistakes earlier and actively try to right their behavior.

Also the treatment they give Penny isn’t as bad as in the novel, and still unlike the novel, Derrick doesn’t have any feelings for her because these are my head canons and I ABHOR incest with every cell and fibre of my being - I also think that Penelope deserves a loving family and I’m also a sucker for these kind of things, so yeah- <3 (blame it on the fact that I’m an only child and I wish I had siblings)

Yvonne also gave them and the duke an earful after learning what Penny went through.

The poor girl even had a mental breakdown because ‘what is wrong with you?! What happened?? I don’t remember you being like this!’ And proceeds to give them the lecture of their lives

Eckles is also not yandere and respects Penny’s boundaries after getting politely rejected.

But then gets a crush on Yvonne. Same thing occurs -but nothing bad happens, he’s very respectful about it.

I think that it’s obvious that I love happy endings :,)

(But I still like my angst and hurt/comfort from time to time)

[jubesy]

Could you do 20 for matcha blossom please these docs are curing my depression istg

Aww, thank you, anon! I’m glad you’re enjoying them~  I went the sick!fic route with this one. I hope that’s okay!

Matcha Blossom #20 “I’ll protect you, no matter what...even if it kills me.”

Also available on Ao3.

Request a drabble here!

Cherry was not some fragile thing. He just wasn’t as...robust as a certain thick-headed gorilla he knew. But even so, when Cherry needed help, he wasn’t so stubborn as to not ask for it. If it was completely necessary, that was.

So, the fact that Joe hadn’t even messaged him to alert him to his current condition was...troubling. Especially considering Cherry wouldn’t have even known about it if he hadn’t shown up at Sia la luce unannounced, as usual, breezing through the dining room to sit in his favorite spot by the bar. It wasn’t until he’d been seated for a few minutes -- without a single word of greeting from his childhood friend -- that he grew suspicious.

“Called in sick,” Cherry muttered to himself as he climbed the steps to Joe’s apartment. One of the servers had timidly approached the bar and informed him as much. “He could have at least sent a text.”

It wasn’t like Joe had bailed on him, exactly. This wasn’t a date, for heaven’s sake. But Cherry did tend to swing by after work and Joe… Well, Joe never missed work. Never got sick, actually. So, he must have been feeling particularly awful if he’d abandoned his staff -- That wasn’t true. The assistant manager was plenty capable --  but Cherry had overheard the regulars wistfully sighing when they received the news that the head chef was out for the evening.

Cherry shook his head as he reached the door, his fist raised and poised to knock. He rapped once. Twice. And by the third time, he was annoyed. Annoyed and...something else.

“Kojiro!” he called, knocking again.

What if...what if something had happened? What if Joe had tried to take a shower and go to work and slipped and hit his head? Once when they were in high school, Cherry had gotten a fever so awful that he could barely move, but he didn’t want to miss class -- despite his appearance, his attendance record was flawless -- and he’d done the exact same thing. If Joe hadn’t caught him…

“Kojiro!” he tried again, but received no answer.

Perhaps Joe had tried making himself some soup. Maybe he’d burned himself in his weakened state. Or he’d fallen asleep while it was simmering and it boiled over. Or what if the heat was too high and the kitchen had caught fire?

Cherry shook the ridiculous thought from his head. Joe was grace under fire, though some wouldn’t believe it. Every time Cherry was sick, including the time he’d passed out during fifth period, Joe had always been there to take care of him. In fact, his soup -- his grandpa’s recipe -- was a cureall.

Still, Cherry was...concerned. So, seeing as Joe still hadn’t shown himself, he reached under the mat for the spare key and made to unlock the door, but rolled his eyes as he jiggled the knob. 

“Idiot ape,” he muttered as he let himself in. “Leaving the door unlocked.” 

But that only worried him further. Was Joe in such a state that he’d wandered out? Or maybe he had someone over?

Something acrid bubbled in Cherry’s belly at the thought. Was Joe playing hooky? Had some girl come over the night before and stayed? Anger swelled in his chest. To think, he was worried about him!

But even as that thought crossed his mind, deep down, Cherry knew that wasn’t the case. Joe was a frivolous, flirtatious, and feebleminded oaf, but not when it came to things he took seriously. Like his career.

So, taking a deep breath, Cherry padded down the hallway and opened the door to Joe’s bedroom. It was dark inside, but the light pouring in from the hall illuminated a lump on the mattress, covered in the duvet and surrounded by wadded up tissues. There was an open bottle of cold medicine on the nightstand, the measuring cup stained, but empty beside it.

Well, at least he was present enough to take medicine. 

“Kojiro,” Cherry called again, softly this time.

A large, hand clawed its way out from beneath the comforter, drawing it down to reveal a mess of curly hair and a flushed face. “...Kaoru?” 

Cherry bit back a fond smile. “Yes, it’s me.” He drew closer and took a seat on the edge of the mattress. 

“You came?” Joe blinked up at him with bleary eyes. 

“Yes,” Cherry said again. “Even though you neglected to tell me you were sick.” 

Joe had the decency to look sheepish. “I conked out after I called the restaurant,” he confessed. “What are you doing here?” 

“One of your servers informed me of your condition, so I came to check on you,” Cherry replied, heat rising in his own cheeks at the admission. He covered it up with a jab. “And here I thought idiots like you couldn’t catch colds.” 

Joe chuckled and then coughed into his fist. “S’not a cold,” he said. “I’m pretty sure I’m dying.”

Cherry rolled his eyes. “You’re not dying.” He moved closer, pressing a palm to Joe’s forehead. “I am surprised, though,” he added. “As long as I’ve known you, you’ve never gotten sick.”

Joe nodded, closing his eyes and nuzzling against Cherry’s cooler hand. “I overdid it at work,” he admitted. “We had a health inspection and then not one, but two--” he paused to sniffle, “--food critics and then…” he trailed off with a deep, shaky breath. “Lots of call-outs. Must be going around.”

With a soft hum, Cherry nodded. Joe was awfully warm. Perhaps it was more than just a cold, after all. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his spare band, placing it around Joe’s wrist. “Carla,” he said and his own wristband illuminated. 

‘Yes, Master?’ 

“Read Kojiro’s vitals,” he ordered.

‘Yes, Master.’ The other band glowed softly. ‘Temperature high. Temperature high.’

“I thought so…” Cherry sighed.

‘Skin temperature thirty-nine degrees Celsius. Approximate core temperature thirty-nine point four degrees Celsius. Heart rate one hundred and sixteen beats per minute.’ 

“What is this?” Joe asked, eyeing the wristband. 

“Continue to track, Carla,” Cherry said instead of answering. Then he looked at Joe. “Why didn’t you call me?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

Joe groaned, rubbing his face. “I told you, I fell asleep--”

“You always take care of me when I’m sick and you thought I wouldn’t do the same?” Cherry narrowed his eyes. “You think I’m incapable?”

Joe furrowed his brow. “...no?” 

Cherry sighed. “I’ll go fix you something to eat.” He made to get up, but Joe caught his wrist.

“Kaoru,” he said and then winced, bringing a hand to his throat. “You should leave.”

The anger from earlier began rising again, but for a different reason this time. “I can heat up a can of soup, Kojiro!” he snapped. Of course, Cherry wasn’t entirely sure Joe had any in his cabinets. He was a ‘from scratch’ kind of guy. Maybe Cherry could run to the store and--

“No, I mean…” Joe swallowed. “I don’t want you to get sick, too.”

Cherry fixed him with an unimpressed look. “You’re just thinking about that now?” 

Joe shook his head. “No.” He wet his lips. “I didn’t fall asleep right after calling work,” he said. “I could have messaged you. I wanted to,” he added, looking up at Cherry with large, watery eyes. “But I didn’t because…I didn’t want you to catch it.”

There was a beat that passed then, as Cherry digested what Joe had said. He was definitely sick. Joe was typically more honest than Cherry on the regular, but he was being extra honest. Sickly honest. Like Cherry tended to get -- or so Joe would always inform him afterwards.

“I’ll be fine,” Cherry promised. “I’ll make sure to take some supplements after I leave.”

Joe’s lower lip trembled then. “You’re...leaving?” 

Cherry bit back an aggravated growl. “Didn’t you just tell me to leave?” 

Joe blinked. “Oh.” His lips curved up into a smile. “Yeah, I did.” 

“Then--”    

“But I don’t really want you to leave, Kaoru,” Joe interrupted. “But you should.”

Cherry wanted to pull his hair out. Was this how he acted when he was sick? Had he shamelessly voiced every thought as it occurred to him?

“I wanted you to come, but I didn’t want you to come,” Joe said again. “Because Kaoru gets sick so easily…”

“I do not--” 

“So, I’ll protect you, no matter what,” Joe vowed, his face completely flushed and his eyes cloudy. “Even if it kills me.” 

‘Heart rate elevated.’ 

“Yes, Carla,” Cherry said, without glancing at his wristband. “That’s because of his fever.’

‘Apologies, Master. Not Kojiro’s. Yours.’ 

Cherry’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. That damned gorilla… “I’m going to see what you have to eat,” he said through clenched teeth, finally pulling his arm free from Joe’s weakened grasp. “If there’s nothing I can heat up, I’ll run to the convenience store.”

Joe cocked his head to the side, giving Cherry a dopey smile. “Okay.” 

“I’ll be back shortly,” Cherry informed him, standing up. 

“Kaoru?” Joe called just as Cherry reached the doorway.

He looked back over his shoulder. “Yes?” 

“Then you’ll stay?” he asked, voice raspy. 

The corner of Cherry’s lips twitched as warmth blossomed in his chest. “Yes,” he said. “Someone has to make sure you take your next dose of medicine.”

Request a drabble here!

[pecherlecriture]

just another day while quarantine

warnings: smut

hello, hope you likes this one shot, English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes

the fucking gift istg.

"fuck baby" harry said when he saw you walk with two new glasses full of some expensive liquor harry had bought in some country you couldn't remember the name. you just smiled and sit down next to him, to the point you were basically on top of him, his arms pull you closer and he kiss you.

"i'm very drunk" you say and you can hear him giggle a little bit.

"me too darlin" the dimples on his cheeks making its way. "but I'm not gonna lie this little cocktail look very interestin". you laughed, it was just a mojito with some berries on top (what an expensive liquor am I right)

you started to drink your mojito as well, something you were really grateful for was being able to spend quarantine with harry, you both have been dating for a while, but haven't been sure about the moving together step. but having spend this weeks together have show you both it was the right thing to do.

quarantine has been fun for the most part since both of you have little to no work to do, harry did write a little bit every day, trying to keep an schedule and it keeps his head flowing, or at least that was he says, you don't mind, actually you love when he pick up his guitar and start gong hard on it.

talking about going hard on it , you two have been fucking like rabbits, both of you get bored pretty quickly while watching a movie and neither of you find something better to do than make each other feel good.

memories of the days before flow through your mind, the way he would choke you while he pound you from behind, the way he always want to make sure you are wet and ready for him so he makes you cum at least once with his mouth, he really loved eating you out, he says he wouldn't mind spending all day between you sweet legs.

you feel yourself getting wet just by the though of it, you move your legs so you can make some friction and harry notices you are zoned out.

"y'there babygirl?" he say with his beautiful raspy voice and you can feel yourself get even more wet if possible.

"yeah, just thinking about you" you answer and start playing with his hair, he pulls his head back at your touch and moans very slowly, not trying to be sexual it was just from the pleasure of your hand on his hair, but you couldn't help but get hornier at the sound.

"whatcha' thinkin about" he asks and looks back at you and you just blush a little bit taking a sip of your drink. "oh..."he says "those types of thoughts,huh then I wanna know even more what ya were thinkin about" he smirks and pulls you on top of him.

you bite your lip and grind your hips onto his, a wave of pleasure goes through your body and you can't help but moan

"y'baby yeh like that?" he whispers on your lips, you just nod and he pulls your hair throwing your head back.

"y'just can't get enough righ baby?" he ask and bites your neck slowly and you whimper loudly. "y'just can't get enough of my cock isn't babygirl?" he practically growls against you neck kissing it leaving marks behind.

"yes baby, I fucking love your cock" you moan grinding your hips once again but your actions don't last long, he keeps your hips still holding them tightly

"nuh uh darlin', yeh get what I give you, I'm in charge aren't I?" he smirks and pulls you under him. His mouth finally comes in contact with yours and you moan happily, his kisses were addictive, they tested so good and his lips were the softest. he pulls back and take his shirt off, you take a good look at him and bite your lip when you notice his hard dick through his gray sweatpants,the littler fucker , you hear him laugh slightly and you look innocently at him.

"yeh like what you see?" he ask and you nood.

"yes daddy I fucking love it" you say and pull your tits together biting your lip and he curses.

"god I fucking love yeh" he takes your shirt off leaving you only on your wet panties. "can see how wet yeh are for me darlin" he touch the wet patch on your panties making eye contact with you making everything so much more intimate "fuckin soaked" he says and dip his head down to your pussy.

"gonna let me have a good taste righ baby? you gonna let daddy take what he wants?" he ask pulling your panties to the side, you don't answer because your were way to focused on his face looking directly into you pretty pussy, he notices and spit in your clit

"fuck" you scream

"i'm pretty sure I asked you somethin little one" he enters one finger to your tight hole.

"f-fuck daddy, what was it?" you ask and he laughs pounding his finger faster than before. you start moaning harder and you were feeling incredible "another finger daddy please" you beg and he do as you ask.

"yeh are making my whole hand fucking wet darlin, I bet I will you slip righ in won't I?" he adds yet another finger and start pounding harder making you throw your head back and moan

"fucking spectacular" he whisper and pulls his head down finally taking a good taste of you.

"shit h" you scream and your hand went straight to his hair pulling it slightly, he doesn't even flinch, to busy eating you out, to busy having the meal of his life.

"baby please" you beg "please I need you inside, or at least let me have a taste of you too" you whimper and you can feel him saying something while his tongue was to busy being inside of you. he pulls away and throw his pants down, obviously he wasn't using boxers so you got an amazing view of his impressive cock, completely hard, red on the tip and leaking precum. it looked fucking amazing and you couldn't wait to have a good taste and feel it hard inside you. he pulls your underwear down and kiss you one more time before he finally slides in.

"ff-fuckk darlin, so bloody tight" he moans "and so wet fo me"

you can feel yourself getting wetter by the second if possible. the bare feeling of having harry's cock inside you was already an amazing experience, and yet he manages to making feel even better

"shit daddy I can feel you so deep in my tummy" harry moans after hearing you say that and start moving his hips, he started pounding to yo like an animal right away, you could feel him everywhere, he was so so deep and you loved every second of it. you could feel his balls hitting you with an amazing rhythm and let not even mention his fucking moans, literal heaven.

"yeh like it darlin? yeh like it when I fuck y'hard huh?" his hand grips your neck hard, making you loose a little bit of air "such a good girl fo me" he murmurs against your body and grabs one of your breast and start licking it like it was his first meal after years

"fuck harry yes!"you scream and can feel your throat getting irritated by your loud moans but you couldn't care, not right now at least.

"come here little one" he pulls you closer to him making your chest touch "you drive me mad darlin" he moans against your mouth and you can help but smile.

"i love you" you say and kiss him hard, his right hand grabs your hair and his left grabs your ass and smack it a few times.

"fuck baby keep going please" you beg and he starts pounding onto you even harder, you could feel the knot on your stomach growing making your toes curl and you scratch Harry's back making him groan loudly.

"yeh gonna cum baby?" he ask with a sweet innocent voice even though his action were quite the opposite.

"f-fuck harry, yes, shit please make me cum baby" you two make eye contact and everything feels even more intimate "please h" you beg once more and he closes his eyes for a second and you can see a little smirk forming on his precious lips.

he pulls you against the bed once again having your back against the mattress and he holds your right hand with his and his left one go straight to your clit playing with it. You feel the knot about to snap and you scratch his back screaming his name

"yessss, fuck baby , oh my god" you can feel tears forming on your eyes from the pleasure. harry was completely concentrated and making you and himself cum, he was really close, your pussy just feels so amazing around him and he wants to stay inside of it forever.

he holds your face with his right hand and kisses you with so much passion, you feel the knot let go and you throw your head back in pleasure and harry swears you are the most beautiful girl in the whole fucking world, you were his muse and he couldn't get enough of you.

"s-shit darlin" he moans once more and you feel him pull out and cum on your tummy and you moan at the feel of it, you loved the moments both of you were able to be this vulnerable around each other.

"damn daddy" you giggle slightly and he can't help but giggle as well

"I fuckin love you"he says looking at you and gives you a kiss. he stands up and go to the bathroom giving you a good view of his perfect little ass, you bite your lips and seconds later he comes back with a wet towel to clean you up, he does it slowly and you can't stop looking at him.

"whatcha thinkin?" he ask throwing the towel away and you smile "just looking at you and thinking how beautiful you are" he looks at you with adoration and you can see his little dimple making it's way.

he kisses you and pulls you closer to him, resting your head on his chest and you started to draw with your fingers his tattoos.

"i think i'm no longer drunk" he blurres out after some minutes of comfortable silence and you both laugh

"yeah me too" you look at the table beside your bed and you see its 2:47am, you were a little sleepy if being honest and you could feel harry already falling asleep. You pull yourself away from him chest and rest your head besides his, having a perfect view of his beautiful face. you couldn't be lucky you think to yourself and give his nose a little kiss before trying to fall asleep yourself.

Hii! how you been?🖤 hope you liked my first harry fanfic, in tried to make it different by trying to write the accent bc i've seen people to that n I liked it so I really hope u too🤧

Don't forget you can follow me here, I post shots about tom h, timothée c, and harry as well. You can request if you like, I would appreciated. Take care, see you soon.🦕

[sendnotes]

books i read in april.

this is going to be my thing from now on. i'll compile a list of all the books i read in a month and share my thoughts on each one every end of the month.

just so you know, i'm a little forgetful, and i have a tendency to forget names, plots, and other details. i'm hoping that writing these will aid my memory in recalling how i felt about each novel.

you can also find me on goodreads

so, let’s begin, shall we?

101 essays that will change the way you think (wiest, brianna)

self-help book

this book got off to a good start! some of the essays written (or should i say a collection of articles originally published on the thoughtcatalog website) made me think and consider my outlook on life, love, and so on.

the title overstates the case though. when i think of an essay, i picture something more argumentative and philosophical. not to mention that the majority of the ideas in this book are redundant. it made it difficult to get through. nonetheless, i was able to get past it because there were so many fantastic concepts and topics discussed.

overall, it's an interesting & worthwhile read for those who enjoy thinking outside the box.i lost count of how many times this book gave me aha moments. i swear, most of the entries soothed my mind and provided a great pick-me-up when life seemed to be frustrating.

the midnight library (haig, matt)

science fiction, fantasy fiction, psychological fiction

regrets, self-remorse, what ifs, family approval, drugs, dreams, love, passion, hatred, death, afterlife, multiverses, quantum physics, and a plethora of possibilities packed into a 304-page book.

i'll be honest: this book is already on my list of favorites. i'm simply blown away by how well-crafted and diverse the entire story unfolded.

a sci-fi novel with a dash of fantasy and a smidgeon of philosophy. if that's your thing, you should give this book a shot.

the first few pages of the book gave me an impression and led me to surmise it was going to be a cheesy ass chick lit novel that i'd only read and find enjoyable in high school. i was completely off base. it proved to be very mature, full of lessons, but delivered in a fun and entertaining manner— exactly my cup of tea.

it reminded me of a disney pixar film called soul, in which the afterlife is depicted in vivid detail. they differ on so many levels, but they both imagine life after death for people who are unsure of their path, purpose, and passion.

every chapter served a significant concept, so this book is well-deserved of a 5-star rating!

norwegian wood (murakami, haruki)

fiction, romance novel, bildungsroman

as i read the book and neared the end, all i could think about was how this book became one of murakami's most popular and influential works.

murakami offers a sprawling glimpse into the lives of a group of severely damaged youths grappling with the realities of what emptiness entails. take what you will from it.

i know a lot of people like it, which is fine. but please keep in mind that this book hit me square in the gut. it alternated between making me angry, sad, annoyed, and disgusted almost constantly. there isn't much else.

this book should come with a warning: "this is not a good place to start if you're new to murakami's works. this is not a representative of murakami's brilliance."

fist and foremost, the characters in this book are all repulsive.

toru watanabe was a fuckboy and a softboy rolled into one. what could possibly be worse than that? he'd have as many casual sexual partners as he could while also buttering a girl up by appealing to her emotions and displaying a "sensitive" and "vulnerable" side.

this book was made even more depressing by the fact that each female character was needy, weak, dysfunctional, and dependent. since they're all the same, i'm not going to go over each of these female characters one by one. you already get the idea.

reiko ishida, imo, was one of the best rendered sections of the novel. most likely because she had a better grasp on her emotions and goals than the still seeking youths... until, *spoiler alert* she wanted to do it with toru as well. a big disappointment.

to summarize, this book is primarily concerned with two topics: sex and death.

hidden meanings are everywhere, but when you get to the core, that's all that remains.

the four agreements: a practical guide to personal freedom (ruiz, miguel)

self-help book

first agreement ⏤ be impeccable with your word

this essentially means that you should not spew gossip or use words to harm others. because words have tremendous power and can cause significant harm. you are not only negatively affecting others with your hateful and thoughtless words, but you are also hurting yourself. this is something with which i generally agree. how i see it, when people are unhappy with themselves, they turn to others to make themselves feel better. as a result, they gossip about others in order to divert attention away from themselves.

second agreement ⏤don't take anything personally

alright. sure. don't let what others say about you bother you. it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. well, i don't entirely agree, but i think it's a fantastic idea in general. however, achieving this goal will be extremely difficult. i believe it would take a lot of practice to reach this level of zen. plus, i honestly believe that other people's opinions still matter because they keep you in check. the best advice is to not be swayed by these opinions, but to consider why they were expressed in the first place. see what you can do to improve yourself from there. sure, it can be difficult to deal with; after all, no one likes being told they're wrong or whatnot. but it's not all bad news because you can sometimes use criticism and judgment to give you a competitive edge. i mean- don't you think hearing someone else's point of view is also an opportunity to learn and progress? ruiz should have stressed that it's not just about "not taking it personally because you know you're not that person," but also about not retaliating with an extreme knee-jerk reaction even if you believe you're being unfairly criticized.

third agreement ⏤ don't make assumptions

this is a real eye-opener for me. i've noticed that whenever i become enraged by someone's words, it's usually due to my tendency to assume. personally, i can't help but make assumptions. i don't know what other people's motivations are, and i can't help but draw conclusions based on the information i have. even if the other person had no intention of causing me harm, it's too late. the thought has become ingrained in my mind, and i never ask for clarification out of pride or fear of appearing overly sensitive.

fourth agreement ⏤ always do your best

this section did not seem particularly useful to me. i mean, aren't we all reminded of this all the time? this section is filled with sloppy writing, in my opinion. as if he badly wanted to finish the book and impulsively thought: "okay, fourth agreement: always do your best. that should suffice. lmao"

overall opinion: the third agreement was my favorite, but the rest were a no-go. don't get me wrong, i appreciated his ideas, but i've heard them all a hundred times before. basically, the book's sole takeaway is that we are all suffering in some way in our daily lives, and we are all dealing with different issues. regardless, we all need to be kinder and gentler to ourselves and others.

the song of achilles (miller, madeline)

romance novel, historical Fiction, war story

i'll keep it short and sweet:

i really wouldn't have had this book any other way. miller's writing is breathtaking, so rich and full of lovely detail. it's incredibly a unique concept to me that authors are rewriting such ancient history and stories to make them lgbt+!

some suggest it's tedious, but i disagree. it isn't slow; rather, it is just right.

'cause at the end of the day, it's not about war, tragedy, or heroes - it's a slow-burning, organic love tale between two young men and their inevitable connection.

it's sad, tender, and painful, but in the best way possible.

circe (miller, madeline)

novel, historical fiction, fantasy fiction

"greek mythology, but with a feminist twist"?! sign me the hell up! this piqued my interest... only to leave me feeling completely let down. seriously now. circe was described as a "badass empowered woman," which was the single most compelling selling point for me, and thus the most wrenching disappointment, i must say.

sure, it demonstrated the value of feminine power, but it also did represent how this power can be a force of good or evil.

not to mention the fact that circe fucked a married man or two in this book- i mean- how is that an ~empowered woman~?

let's be clear right off the bat: madeline miller's follow-up to the song of achilles is epic in scope but not necessarily in execution. to me, this read more like a tedious island tale. regardless of how many five-star reviews this book has received... i just don't think it's well-deserved. don't get me wrong here. miller is a fantastic author with a lush writing! istg- i'm blown away by how beautifully she wrote and carefully chose her words. even the most mundane phrases were written poetically. after-all, it’s greek mythology. but how did she manage to make circe seem so... bland?