#i made these because while i CAN draw humans i'm too lazy to do so lol

[mokkagren]

i'm more or less okay if you want to use these but crediting me is a must !!

also i'll definitely appreciate if you let me know if you use these, i'm always down to see what you made <3

8 years late to the party but i finally watched gravity falls because the idea of watching it has been in my brain for a month and i was dying to watch it but ofc life had other plans and i had no time whatsoever

ANYWAY hi hello i bring you both sets of twins as cats :3

not my exactly proudest designs but i tried to keep them simple + they were a tiny bit rushed (also last time i made designs based of off humans was like 2,5 months ago and before that who know)

something something i make impulsive decisions

i'll def make more designs but not right now so uhhh i'll keep you updated on that :3

[mayordea]

Happy birthday to the number one princess in the world!! 💖

~from her biggest fans :)

ramble of my scattered thoughts on the piece under cut as usual cuz i love talking 😋

This has been an idea I've been cookin for a while, and it was so cluttered and unlike any other ensemble piece I've made... and I decided I oughta do it anyway. I love Miku, I love Vocaloid, and I wanted to do something really ambitious and crazy for her anniversary. Crazy that she's turning her "canon" age this year TwT

I had the idea floating around since like, May...? And then finally started acting on it around June 18. I'm terrible with deadlines, obvious with how I can never make a silly birthday post in time, so I started wayyyy ahead to make sure I have some room to be lazy lol, especially with an idea as ambitious as this.

This was finished on July 12! So I had to sit on this for an annoying amount of time. Very difficult for someone like me who just wants to talk about everything I'm working on to the masses. But at the very least, that gave me the time to work on the draft for this post.

~~~

Here's some ~behind the scenes~ scribbles leading up to the finished piece!

Left is the chicken scratch plan i made in my handy dandy notebook (whenever things are getting real and ambitious, i always made a rough ROUGH plan in there. Usually I'd do a rough pass of the full thing, but this was too complicated for me to do traditionally. I majorly benefited from digital tools to make this possible). CyberDiva and CyberSongman were considered, but I ended up cutting them cuz I just didn't feel like drawing them sorry-- (just pretend they're off to the side. They gave Ruby and Clara the pizza lol). Right is the "final" completed sketch (before I decided to include Chika mid-way through coloring and VY1 and VY2 near the finish line). I started by drawing the main "groups" separated on a different canvas so I can plop them into the main canvas for easy rearranging and transforming. However I got lazy and ended up drawing everyone in the bottom right corner directly on the canvas since I liked seeing the big picture of everyone's positions. Y'know.

Almost excluded Chika! But I like her design so much that I just felt like including her last-minute. You win this time, Chika fans. VY1 and VY2 were very close to being cut! I added them when I began doing the banner and thought "eh why not". I figured their non-human designs would be pretty easy to include pushed back in the bg. Ik VY1 is more commonly associated with the fan design, but I referenced the hairpin cuz it was simpler and the fan looked very annoying to draw 😭

Sorry to the fans of many Vocaloids I had to cut because this composition was insane enough as is. I promise I wanted to include fellas like CUL, LUMi and Sachiko 😭 I will admit I was a little biased on who I wanted to include over others. Like, I don't normally care for Bruno and Clara, but I wanted to get some more international 'loids in the mix. Also wanted to stick in the realm of official designs and not fan-designs since, as much as I can appreciate those, are just a whole "wait who is that guy supposed to be" situation I didn't wanna deal with. I also did wanna include even more character references through the balloons, but they ended up being kind of ugly and overcomplicated the BG :,) (Oh, and while this was originally planned to be a Vocaloid-only piece, I did end up including Teto, Neru, and Haku 'cuz those are Miku's besties dude!!! They may not be Officially in the club but they're her girls and it would be criminal to not invite them to her birthday).

Anyway, this project marks the first time I've drawn a lot of Vocaloids. Lily, Piko, Rana, Yuki, Yukari, Miki, Maika, and many more lol. All of 'em I've heard or seen in passing, but now I actually drew them, and some have really cool and fun designs!! I got into a habit of drawing Merli after this since I just love her design for example. And I'll probably be drawing more lol!!

Oh and the last thing I'll add for now!! The cake is indeed made up of various song references!! I wanted to reference the "big four" producers, just absolute icons in Vocaloid history. The pink/black checkerboard is "World is Mine" (Ryo), the crescents on the side is "Rolling Girl" (Wowaka), the smiley faces is "Matryoshka" (Hachi), and the three hearts on the side is "The Vampire" (DECO*27, which is sort of a symbol of his whole Mannequin album tbh). I know "The Vampire" is a bit modern but I couldn't think of anything else off the top of my head. I'm a fake DECO fan I know 😔 "Matryoshka" was originally going to be referenced in the colors of the candles but believe me it looked like shit so I just went for something else last minute 😭

That's all I have to say!!! Hope you didn't mind the text wall if you made it here. I hope you like it as much as I do!!!! Happy freakin' birthday Miku!!!!

I have to deal with tagging all these characters now for my page,,, in the drafts my tags got cut off after a certain point so I think I'm massively breaching the tag limit 😭 um... I'll figure that out later...

not losing sleep that i can't tag everyone, even for page organization purposes because some characters have pretty generic names and some are a little hard to see in full yknow. If you're one of those people who tag every character in the art piece you reblog... I am very sorry.

[leftneb]

Curiositas aka sirens!AU

in which Lando is a siren with species dysphoria and Oscar is the defintion of Just Some Guy, who happens to get caught up in Lando's mess. and obviously they fall in love along the way etc etc

I first posted about this idea over 2 months ago and I'm happy to announce that there is now a fic in the works!!! which will likely take at least another 2 months because goddamn the concept outgrew itself (as you can tell by the fact charles and max also, like, exist now) it's sitting at ~8k words rn, which is by far the longest thing I've ever written in my life already, but story isn't even close to being finished, so yeah it'll take a while lmao

for now though I have some character designs and lots of thoughts, which I'd like to share :3

ramblings about their individual designs and details below the cut!!

and massive thank you to my dear partner @lailau7904 for not only holding my hand through writing the fic so far but somehow being even more insane about this whole AU than I am???

LANDO

main character (and POV holder) his design isn't based on any real fish, closest resemblance is to a fake fishing lure (reference provided)

very little scarring despite sirens' hunting culture, some tiny cuts and scratches around the top of his tail from smuggling pretty stones and shards of glass

absurdly bright green scales (I really could've made him fluorescent but I think that would be overkill) which is absurdly shit for stealth purposes but good for catching the attention of potential victims

vague triangle shape language but in a semi-elegant way

doesn't eat fish and would rather not eat human either

MAX

fills the position of a leader in his and Lando's colony, inherited the role in his late teens but grew up to it pretty quickly

shark motif, all sharp and angular shapes, visibly intimidating

lots of scars collected during hunts, wounds covered over by red scales from Charles

his scales are pretty dark but they shine blue when the light hits them just right (plus Charles' scales are a bright red lmao, which is a bit suboptimal for stealth but he thinks it's worth it)

CHARLES

koi fish motif, soft and round shapes

no scarring at all

has known Max since they were kids but actually didn't meet Lando until their 20s despite Max and Lando being childhood best friends

considered legally dead by monegasque officials (this has lore reasons which I'm not about to spoil)

GENERAL NOTES

the AU plays in a modern setting, altough sirens are very behind on human technology

their gills are on the side of their ribs! they can also all breathe with their lungs above water

funky scales patterns on their torsos around "modified" areas such as their gills and back fin

they have no hands but don't let that fool you! I was simply too lazy to draw any, what you would see if I did draw them tho would include:

webbing between fingers!! matches the colour of fins

longer, and more solid, claw-like nails

wrinkled palms and fingertips

I really wanted to make Max and Charles' torsos more life accurate but could not be arsed, they all have Lando's body type, aka I've accidentally twinkified Charles and Max lmao

by now you might have noticed that there's no design for Oscar, and as much as I really want to make a siren design for him that would have some pretty heavy lore implications so I'm... hesitant to do so

other people on my sirenification waiting list are:

George Russell and Alex Albon (for the 2019 rookies circle to be complete)

Franco Colapinto (based purely off vibes)

the whole grid really god I'm so ill

for the record Logan is a human in this AU but he IS present fuck you James Vowles

you may have also noticed the papaya version I labeled as McLaren themed (this one is also the highest quality image I have in this thread if you're gonna do any zooming in please do it on this one,,,,)

all throughout writing and drawing I couldn't help but think about another banger siren!Lando fic: Salt Skin by @strawberry-daiquiris! in which Lando has orange slash papaya scales, which I just had to draw honestly

a lot of my design process was also inspired by a piece by @dumbf1sketches (it's somewhere in the pile of other gorgeous art in that post)

bonus underwater version of all of them because it wasn't bright enough for me to feel good about it being at the top but it's still like, the main colour example to my brain

TAGLIST(S)

AU @mintraindrop @cx-boxbox (I know the og post is from actual ages ago but you two were interested so I humbly offer you these crumbs)

ART @santongkabayo @cyclonixi @alto-the-avocado @loquarocoeur

people that put up with my ramblings on dc @lyslsstuff @peppysinc @girlrussell

[ginnyruin]

i'm sorry but the nurchie "art" is clearly AI generated??? can we please stop sharing and praising shit that some algorithm spat out without ever asking the original creators whose work it steals and regurgitates for their permission

- sincerely, a pissed-off artist

Hello,

I’m going to set the record straight, and I’d suggest you read carefully before making any more baseless accusations. Nurchie is an actual artist—a trained one, with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in digital art and two-dimensional studies (drawing and painting) from a prestigious university. She has 16 years of professional design/digital art experience, and a publicly documented portfolio going back well before AI art even existed.

go look at her earliest work on Deviantart and you'll see how precisely detailed she draws hands, fingers, and clothing. Everything, really.

If you had bothered to do any homework, you’d see that her work reflects thousands of hours of dedicated practice and the expertise of a seasoned digital artist.

Calling her work AI generated is BEYOND insulting. it’s lazy, dismissive, and downright disrespectful to a person who has spent years honing her craft.

She doesn’t ask for clout, she doesn’t do commissions, she doesn't have a patreon or Kofi. She only made a Twitter years ago because I asked her to share her talent with the world or she wouldn't even bother.

This tendency to label any polished work as “AI” just shows ignorance, plain and simple. Real artists deserve better than to have their skills lumped in with AI machine-generated content by people who can’t tell the difference.

Each of her digital paintings takes anywhere from 30-80+ hours. For Altered State specifically, she's been working on all these art pieces for months while I've been on a posting hiatus. Her incredible work keeps me inspired; I would have literally quit ages ago. We go back and forth on details from the writing in the fic and I see these changes she makes in real time.

She paints in her limited free time for these niche fandoms because she loves the stories and wants to support the writers in it. In a world where fandom is becoming increasingly commodified, she is a rare gem.

I didn't even want to bother Nurchie with this silly comment of yours, but she's such a good sport she just laughed at the idea that anyone could accuse her art of being AI generated. She uses a combo of adobe CC suite and clip studio to draw.

nurchie messaged me this, and I asked for her permission to share it: [I just think they are probably some struggling artist, upset that they feel replaced by soulless AI and are lashing out any time they think they see it. I'm sympathetic to their feelings, and understand the annoyance. I've been battling the improper usage of it in my workplace. AI is not AI but just a data collection tool, and I completely agree that the human eye could never be replaced by it.]

yeah, she's the most chill, sweetest person ever, too. So maybe think twice before throwing around accusations you clearly can’t back up. You're trying to hurt a real artist.

-sincerely,

A writer who knows a real artist

https://www.deviantart.com/nurchie/gallery

edit: also accusations like this drive away real fanartists. Why should they bother sharing their work if their talent and skill are being dismissed as some algorithm's output? it's toxic. fandom spaces will be flooded with AI-generated content in the future because all the true artists will have left.

[unnamed-axolotl]

HAAANDSS I've always prided myself on being able to draw them so HERES A FUN LITTLE THINGY I DID!!! Tried to get a good variety of hands here. With the humans, ranging from young child to older child to adult, plus a couple of skin tones and features. Then with the animatronics, what the difference is between a harshly-put-together robot vs. an actually well-put-together animatronic.

(AND AS A BONUS their handwriting and how I think they'd draw smilies!!!!)

HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT, written in the order I drew them in, not the order they appear.

I started with Michael. I was originally going to make him a lot more worn out, but just kept it simple probably for the sake of my sanity. A good few scars from the stuff he's went through. He probably has rather good handwriting because he's had a lot of practice both with legal documents and probably journaling. (Not really taking into account the Logbook here. It totally wasn't because I don't know what his handwriting looks like off the top of my head and was too lazy to get out of bed and get the book to reference.) He does a pretty generic smiley face, too.

Cassie was next. I don't really draw human hands with fingernails a lot so that was a challenge. The idea here was to make a hand that was that of an older kid, but obviously not as big or with fingers as long as Michael's are, for example. I played with her skin tone for a little bit, and I'm not too experienced with working in color, so please do let me know if there's anything I can improve upon when I do darker skin tones in the future! I was trying to get that lighter tone on her underhand but wasn't too positive about it. I also gave her some funky little bracelets, one of which is a direct copy of a bracelet that my lovely friend (@masquayla-the-splendid) for me. Cassie probably has fairly decent handwriting and definitely dots her i's with hearts when she writes her name. She tries to make the smiley faces look cute.

Evan's turn! I headcanon Evan to be much younger, so I made his hands smaller and stubbier. He's pretty pale because of the whole dying thing, and he's got some freckles and moles, sort of inspired by my own hand in a way! I've got little moles everywhere so I figured I'd incorporate that into his design, partly as a way to add more flair to an otherwise plain base. Other than that, not much going on here. He's got messier handwriting because he's a kid, and in my AU he didn't really get to go to school for all that long, so his siblings probably taught him how to write before he died. The brain damage probably doesn't help much either. He's trying his best.

For Sun and Moon, initially I couldn't decide which one of the two to color. As I was making the base I was thinking pretty hard about it, but ultimately figured out that I could probably just split it down the middle, and it worked! I've been trying to give the Daycare Attendants longer fingers to reflect how their hands look in the games. I couldn't make their hands too big because it either looked stupid to me or took up too much space, so I settled with this. I also gave them little scratches on their fingerpads. Sun and Moon have different signatures, with Moon's being a little more neat while Sun's is more fun and just a tad messier. He also overdecorates a bit. Moon stays simple with his smiley faces and Sun loves to express Big Happiness in his.

Ennard's hands (particularly their wrists where their wires tangle together like that) never look the same twice when I draw them, but I like to think the placement of their wires probably changes fairly frequently too, like a Double Rex Rat who has a new coat pattern every few days. Their wires have tarnished over time, but they try to maintain just a little bit of glint, despite the rusting, which is particularly noticeable in the spots where their fingertips brush against things most often. They've also got those little stray wires that poke out of each fingertip. Of course, holding any kind of writing utensil with those Big Meaty Claws has gotta be difficult, so even if they try their hardest, it's not gonna turn out great. Same with their smiley faces. They're doing their best.

[nonranghaes]

heads up! mentions of a past abusive relationship (for reader). this should really go on wooahaes but i'm too lazy to format it rn and i need sleep so take this ig??? i might repost over there some other time....

there's things that are unfair about having a boyfriend like vernon. you think one of them is how pretty he can look when he's sleeping.

of course, he's still human. he ends up with messy hair, and sometimes he drools, and there's about a thousand other things you can list off about him when he sleeps... but he's still your boyfriend. and thus, every little 'flaw' he has is something you consider pretty on him. he would (and will, when he's in a sappy enough mood) say the exact same about you, to be fair. he shifts a little in his sleep, stretching and reaching for you.

you still remember overhearing him talk to his mom the morning after you slept in the same bed as him for the first time. it'd literally only been sleeping, but you heard him quietly say 'they trust me a lot,' to her while on the phone. he'd been unpacking breakfast. when she asked about it, he merely said "they fell asleep next to me. they've never done that before. i think... i think they trust me," in that pensive way, like he's thinking more than he's actually saying.

(i do, you told him later. trust you. i think i love you, too. and it'd been what made him say that he loves you for the first time--something he didn't expect to hear back without that 'i think' to protect yourself. you said it to him a few weeks later, and he teared up--although he'll always deny it when you bring it up now.)

"you're staring again." he pulls you out of your thoughts with ease, and his eyes meet yours in the low light. "what's wrong?"

you saw today's date. some birthdays never leave you, and that's true of the person who hurt you. the person you only told vernon about a few months ago in full, although he knew of the person's existence before then. you remember what that person said to you, too. that you didn't need anyone else aside from them...

"nothing," you say, and it's a half-lie. it'll bother you a little more, but you don't want to have this talk now. not when you're already starting to drift off, safe in his presence. vernon's good at protecting you from ugly feelings that settle into your bones like an unwanted guest. "we'll talk later, honey."

he gives you a uncertain look. "you only call me honey when you're upset."

(it's a mutual thing: he calls you either by your name or a casual dude any other time, and baby and babe and love of my life whenever he's trying to avoid a topic temporarily. the two of you communicate: vernon's good at making you feel safe in that, too.)

"right," you say. "we'll talk in the morning... homie."

it earns a crackling snort from him, and he smiles that cute gummy smile as he hides his face for a moment. "ah, really... god, you're such a dork sometimes, i swear."

"a dork who landed you," you always remind him. yet when his eyes meet yours a moment later, you feel something warm in your chest that washes away that ugly feeling all too easily. you reach out, holding his face. "i think... i won."

"you won?"

"you love me," you say. "my friends love me... i'm loved," you say quietly, and the feeling still feels a little foreign. you are loved, you repeat mentally for a moment: because they see you as you, not the broken mess you feel you are. "so i won."

vernon gets it soon enough, and he nods. "you won," he says quietly. "i'm glad you're here... homie."

you crack up, too, and he quietly laughs at his own little moment with you. his laugh and his smile always make you giggle, too, and he pulls you in to kiss you happily.

"i love you," he mumbles against your lips, "i love you, i love you, i love you--" and he keeps planting kisses against against and around your lips to punctuate every repeat of the phrase, before he draws back, satisfied after being struck with the need to be overly sappy. "alright?"

gone is that bitter feeling that once flashed through your veins and settled into your bones. all you feel now is love, soft and sweet, as you're so openly reminded that you're not alone. that the two of you shoulder these problems together. you won, you think, because you are alive and being loved and learning to love wholeheartedly again.

"yeah," you settle in to sleep, planning to keep to your promise of talking come morning. "i love you, too, you big sap."

[play-on-skinners-box]

Others have already been furrying the Raincode characters and doing a phenomenal job, but when I would peruse Danganrompa fanart I really liked seeing different and wildly varying interpretations for the characters' animal choices and now it is my turn, my GOD GIVEN DUTY TO PROVIDE IN THE GENISIS OF THE RAINCODE FANDOM, FOR THE HONOR OF THOSE WHO HAVE COME BEFORE ME.

For all of them I used their pose from the artbook renders. I'll say it's to keep them recognizable but that is actually a lie I'm just lazy.

Secretary Bird Halara:

Halara I did first and they were the one I was most jazzed to do because I love them dearly. I made them a secretary bird and I think it's a PERFECT fit. Ahem allow me to rattle off. Secretary birds are birds, so doomed by the narrative to have to stay away from cats, they are predatory birds and of course Halara would be at the top of the food chain. Speaking of predetory birds, secretary birds are known for their ability TO KICK VENOUMOUS SNAKES TO DEATH, AND THATS JUST TOO GOOD A FIT. They also have plumage that I could easily shape into Halara's kinda smooth swoopy hairstyle, and face markings that could be sort of representative of their glasses! I think the drawing for them is probably the weakest out of the group just because as I went along I improved and started to translate the human designs in less one to one ways, plus the pose Halara has in the artbook doesn't fit perfectly to the really big wing hand things. I still enjoyed making it because H A L A R A N I G H T M A R E but I'm honestly kinda sad at how lackluster it is compared to Fubuki and Viva who got the most interesting details and texture work. NEVER DO YOUR FAVORITE FIRST IT'S A TRAP.

Guinea Pig Desuhiko:

With Desuhiko I was going back and fourth between a few rodents, I just think he kinda looks like one and already had those pikachu cheeks. My first scetch made him a hamster, and while it DID look like him, it felt a little too... Indistinct. Desuhiko's probably my favorite design in the cast just because he looks so distinctive and has a short stocky bodytype I really really love and makes my character designer brain happy, so I swapped hamster for guinea pig. While the guinea pig face doesn't look like him quite as much as the hamster, they are very interesting and distinctive looking which I loved a lot more even with a bit of accuracy sacrificed if that makes sense. Also there are Guinea pigs with spikey wild fur that make it so I could just kinda give him his actual hair and still have it make sense. Guinea pigs are also the perfect size and shape to be thrown like a large softball and out of all the Master Detectives Desuhiko looks like he'd be the most sadisfying to chuck across a room.

Fish Fubuki:

Fubuki was really hard just because it's difficult to anthropomorphize a fish in the same way as a mammal or a avian cause of their structure. She might look a biitttt more like a fantasy creature inspired by a fish than just a fish but she's charming enough I don't completely mind. I got some SOLID advice and looked at some Splatoon NPCs characteristics to try and make her more appealing. So why fish? I got it as a suggestion that I ended up really liking because fish are notorious for their bad memory, live in tanks their whole lives(Fubuki is the definition of sheltered), and they have fins to mimic the shape of Fubukis cloak and hair. I used beta fish for reference, they don't really fit her but just being a fish was good enough for me and at that point I was prioritizing looks. She doesn't even really look like any specific species like the other three to be honest. She's defiantly the outlier of the group but that's fine, she can be special in her own unique way like always. Got a little lazy with making the hair look all that fin-like, but it's kinda the main event of her human design so I wanted to keep it as true to that as possible but looking at it now I think its tooooo copy and paste looking. Her furry design IS my brothers favorite out of the batch so that's gotta count for something!

Flying Fox Bat Vivia:

The vampire looking man was always gonna be a bat, I am but a slave to the whims of fate. I made him specifically a flying fox because they're the largest bat species and therefore can loom ominously. Vampire bat would have been fun too, but they have more of a squished bastard energy that doesn't really fit Vivia. Bats also are known for their weird sleeping habits, ala upside. Viva isn't sleeping upside down or anything like that but he DOES snooze in some weird places so I think comparing him to a bat in multiple aspects is very apt! His drawing and animal design is probably my favorite, I really like the wings, and the bat feet are super weird I loved doing those. I did have trouble incorperating his hair, flying foxes have pretty smooth heads, but they do have sort of a mane thing going on so I tried to put some of his hair texture and shape there instead. Sorry I did not give him is edgy edgy hair cut, I too love it very much but it was simply not to be. I did try to mimic it's vibe with the patterning on his head though, an illusion of his bangs.

I'm very happy with this lineup overall, they're some neat little designs if I do say so myself! I might do more but I have the chronic problem of not being able to sit still for a long time to do a BUNTCH of guys again(though for the record I would make Seth the most delightfully storm drain gutter looking creature). I also kinda wanna do Makoto and Yuma cause someone suggested a REALLY good idea for them, but the concept for Makoto with this idea would be more of an involved design that I wouldn't be able to use all of his normal outfit for so it'd probably take longer than average.

TLDR: Furries amiright?

[calware]

I love your young!Rose design with the braids & hair beads, it reminds me of the Black girls i knew in elementary school (2005-2011), so its deffo “period accurate” and also a delightful choice. The way you draw the human kids in general is really nice, youre really good at conveying specific features with minimal lines (like her & Mom’s nose shape). Do you have any tips for how you draw faces to make them not same-face or repetitively “white” features, especially when drawing in a less “realistic” style (i dont wanna say your style is cartoony but idk what i would call it tbh)? I took a life drawing class back in 2019 but we mostly drew the same two models or our classmates, and it was both a limited pool of features plus feels hard to translate into art that isnt attempting to be 100% realistic.

Sorry if this is rambly. Congrats on 10k. Love ur new icon, tho i miss the Horb. Do you take commissions? I think i asked this before but i forgetful af.

thank you for the ask :)!! i'm really flattered that you think i'm good at avoiding same-face syndrome because i am VERY LAZY when it comes to drawing and i could definitely be doing a better job ;^^ i'm also not the best at drawing people diversely(?), it's just something i have to get better at. there are people way more qualified than me to give advice about this... but i can try giving some tips

the first is that, like with anything, if i'm not confident that i can accurately portray something or a specific feature i will usually look up a reference. i like paying attention to things like the position of the browbone, height of the cheekbones, shape of the chin, shape of the eyes, length/width of the face, width of the nostrils, shape/position of the bridge of the nose, roundness of the cheeks, etc. when i draw characters (specifically the homestuck characters i like, because i think about them a lot) i have an idea in my head of how they look and how they differ from one another. for example i see jade with a longer diamond-shaped face while rose has a shorter heart-shaped face, so i do my best to depict that in my drawings

(idk if this illustration makes ANY SENSE bc like i said i think that i also struggle with pushing myself in regards to this and i think i still have more to learn/practice)

i think it comes down to paying attention to the proportions/types of specific facial features and adjusting them each to create a unique face

that said when it comes to stylizing what you see from photographic references, i understand that it can be tricky to simplify it. i really don't have any advice for this.... i just play around with it until it looks good while also being recognizable as the specific thing i'm trying to draw.......... so in that case i think it helps to use other people's art as a reference too! i don't really care about sticking to one "style" so i don't mind drawing in a slightly different way if i want to do something another artist is also doing. so for example if you're struggling with drawing 4c hair i recommend looking at other people's drawings of characters with 4c hair that you like and playing around with if you can incorporate their techniques into your own art.

i hope this all made sense ;^^ there are definitely a lot of tutorials out there that are way more informative than this one

also, to answer your last question, i plan to open up a few commission slots next week! (as long as i have enough time to that is)

[jessythebunny]

🚂 Ttte Oc's 🚂

From left to right

🩵°•Jenny•°🐰

🩵Jenny is a Moroccan engine, she was build in 1930 (in my AU), and she came to sodor in 1987, and she's the number 58 tank engine

🩵Jenny works in the railway by taking the mail train with Percy, they really love to work together and she's Percy's female best friend

🩵She also in her human form, she can turn into a human bunny engine, or a normal humanised engine according to her will, but she prefers to transform into a human bunny because she loves bunnies

🩵Jenny is innocent in front of others, but when she is alone, she performs devilish acts that even Satan himself could not think of, and she always causes confusion and delay

🩵she loves collecting flowers with Rosie, and distributes them to others, and she works also as an Easter engine and her job is distributing the Easter eggs and chocolates around the stations

🩵She doesn't have any interest in love at the moment, but she really simps for James, and she loves teasing him, he's cute when he's angry, Gordon can't help but giving her solutions to calm him down, and she loves to call him some cute nicknames like Jams or cherry pie or nom noms

🩵she's Mia (@miasonyson )'s best friend, and they spend their time by chatting with echother for hours, or drawing, and many things, she's close with Duck and Oliver, and she wished to be their adopted daugther, she loves playing with Toad and Skiff in the beach, and she wants to be really useful like Thomas

💚°•Creater•°✏️

💚this is just me in real life, I'm Hiba (aka Jessy the bunny) I'm the controller who's running this silly railway AU, and I'm responsable in these humanised engines, and I'm the one who gives them the orders or tell them what to do,They call me "the emo controller" because of my gloomy personality so I guess I deserve to be called by that, The human engines have to be useful or I'll smack their asses

🖤°•Mia•°🎧

🖤character made by @miasonyson

🖤Mia is an American engine who came from America to Sodor to start a new life in there, she's a young adult and she is 23 years old

🖤In fact, Mia is a vampire and loves drinking blood, Sometimes she loses control and can drink all of that person's blood and kill him

🖤Mia has a dirty mind, and when she hear someone's moaning in pain or sickness or something, she thinks about something nasty. ngl me either have the same problem

🖤Mia has a massive crush on Murdoch, and her normal Oc has a crush on Aiden (her oc)

🖤She's getting too lazy at work, and she tries as hard as she can to escape from working, but sometimes when she escapes, the controller finds out about her and she get insulted

🖤She's addectid to Odetari's songs, she finds his songs fire

🖤she's really a huge fan of pizza just like Jenny, Hide the pizza from them!!!

🖤She's close with Thomas, Percy and Rosie and she loves to be a mother for them, she finds Diesel 10 an asshole but cool at the same time, She likes to attend Lady's magic lessons

💛°•Marina•°🧜🏻‍♀️

💛she's the sodor resident fish woman™️

💛Marina came to Sodor but she was unconscious because her wrists were cut by a ship's propeller while she was diving on her way there, She was in a hopeless situation

💛She has a massive crush on Skiff, Because he was the only one who helped and comforted her, and he was the first to see her human form after a long discussion that took place between them, and he also told her that he could transform into a rail boat and he's not actuelly a human

💛Marina suffers from severe anxiety for her life, because there are fishermen trying to catch her and kill her, so she tries not to appear much on the island to avoid any harm, and she makes sure to wear her clothes on

💛Marina is an orphan of parents, and she really hopes that she will have a sister, because she was the only one for her parents and she was feeling lonely because of that, and her parents did not allow her to swim outside the water because of the presence of the fishermen, but unfortunately her parents died because they were stubborn, and for this reason Marina suffers from axiety

💛she loves spends her time with Duck and he's her best friend, and also with Oliver and Toad, especially Toad, she would do anything for him, also close with Donald and Douglas and she treats them like her brothers, She doesn't hate Diesel 10 and she treats him very nicely, but she hates Diesel because of his rudeness, She also spends time with some female engines like Emily and Rosie and Mavis and Molly, And also close with Thomas and Percy and she plays the role of a mother to them and ensures that no disaster occurs on their part

[lilith-little-world]

Character ai is a mess. I went back to it and lost myself in it again, but I'm back now but idk for how long. So I'm gonna like speedrun all of my writing and editing for this and the 2nd chapter. Cause holy shit, I'm gonna be hella busy in a few months. Also found out I have a small and harmless heart condition...yeah so this month been crazy.

Also made a little drawing since I was gone for a while. Hopefully I’ll be back with weekly updates now I’m off of character ai and started to take meds for my heart.

I Saw You Once In a Dream, Maybe Pt 9

Is it too late to kick him out? He stares up at you and smirks. You can feel your face get ready as the embarrassment hits. You can't be seriously asking for him to tag along.

You might as well beg for him to come.

“Can you please, come with me? I would appreciate it, if you can. I'll even buy something for you.”

It took everything in you to stare back at him. The urge to smack him increased when his smirk widened.

How the fuck did you two got married in the future?

“Oh, of course, I will come along. Especially when you asked so nicely.” He stands up and heads to the front door, giving you one last glance.

You sigh and try to calm down. Ever since running into him, your day has been…well you can't even describe it. Was it bad? Good? Meh?

You lock the door and catch up to Monkey King, who was waiting for you on the sidewalk. He gives you a soft smile.

“So which way are we going?”

“There's a small market nearby. It's just a short walk, 5 minutes tops.”

You walk off and try to block out any thoughts of how you prefer that smile on his face.

Monkey King nods and follows you.

“So what are you planning for dinner? I'm not much of a cook but I can help!” He stares at you with that same soft expression.

What the hell happened?! Why is he acting all calm and sweet all of a sudden?

You continue to ignore your thoughts and how your heart was fluttering.

“I don't know, I guess we'll find out when I buy the groceries. I'm not much of a cook either. I just fall asleep and skip dinner for most nights.”

“I don't think that's healthy for a human.” He mutters. You can see he wanted to say something more.

“Maybe, but I never had a reason to make dinner. A snack or takeout was enough.”

“So why not tonight?”

“Well…” You felt nervous and embarrassed. “It's been a while since I had someone over at my house so I just thought…that maybe I should do something different- something special.” You didn't need to see your face to know you were blushing. You wanted to scold yourself for getting all flustered for no reason yet all your thoughts stopped when you glanced at Monkey King.

He stares at you with wide eyes.

“You're cooking dinner because of me?” His eyes seem to shine like stars. Beaming with fondness and affection. “Looks like someone is falling for me.”

“What?! I just met you!” You nudge his shoulder. You wanted to get mad or at least annoyed but you just laughed. Monkey King laughs with you as he bumps his shoulder with yours. “Sneakily” holding your hand. Intertwining his fingers with yours, his grasp firm.

You smiled at him and held his hand back. Leaning on his shoulder as you both walk to the grocery store.

Even though you two spent an hour there. You enjoyed his company. Monkey King, helping by grabbing items or just joking around and having fun. What had always been a chore for you, felt fun when he joined along.

Okay, maybe you're starting to understand why you married this idiot.

Also, you managed to buy a little more than usual since he could carry a lot of things. That was a huge plus for you, since you refuse to use your car for anything. Does that thing even work? Oh, wait, pretty sure you lost the key to it and are too lazy to get a new one.

“Thank you again for helping to carry the bags back. You can place it on the counter.”

“You bought a lot of things, how empty is your fridge?”

“Shhhh, we don't talk about that. I bet you don't even have a fridge, so don't judge.”

“There's literally nothing in here.” He said placing a few items in the fridge.

You blow a raspberry at him and put the refrigerated items in the fridge.

“I told you I usually eat a snack or takeout. I hardly cook.”

“Is it because you don't know how to cook? How worried should I be, when you serve me my plate?”

You roll your eyes.

“If you're so worried, then I won't serve you anything.”

“Hey now, I said, I would be worried but that won't stop me from eating it. Edible or not, you're serving me food you made! No way I'm passing that opportunity. Maybe I can pretend, my darling spouse made me the best dinner after a long day of work.”

“Ha-ha, very funny. Are we really going to roleplay being an old married couple or what? We barely met, Monkey King.”

“Wukong, you can call me Wukong.”

You raise a brow at him.

“Alright, Wukong. So we are on a first-name basis now huh?”

“I mean-” He glances away, but you can see his cheeks turning red. “I really want to have a relationship with you and it'll be weird having you calling me by my title.”

It was weird to see him so…embarrassed and flustered. Throughout this whole day, he has been teasing you. Maybe there were a few moments when you saw him more softly. You just laughed and ruffled his fur in his head.

“I guess you're right about that, so Wukong it is then. Now put on a show we can watch while I cook. Nothing fancy or crazy, just some regular easy and fast food.”

Wukong chuckles as he heads to the living room.

“Alright, fine, but no complaints about what I pick.”

You put away the groceries and left the ingredients out. Once in a while, glancing at the tv to see what Wukong was searching for. You head to the trash can to throw something away when you spot the stuffed toy.

A part of you felt bad for throwing it away but another part of you felt embarrassed that you even bought the toy. What would Wukong think? Would he tease you about it or be hurt that you threw it away? That's if he found out. I wonder what will be the consequences for this?

[kindness-and-friends]

//Heya. Mod here. I have good news and bad news

Good news is I'll be pretty blunt with the lore on the souls and stuff! Ask a question about it and I'll probably answer it

Bad news is this blog will be on hiatus :( ill finish the rps tho dw

To put it simply, drama and other projects I need to work on

To put it not simply (This shit is gonna be like a whole essay. Also i didnt proofread it cuz am lazy)

Reason 1: Drama- I honestly don't know what to feel. I started this blog thinking that i can interact with all the underblogs, whatever side they may be on. I kinda wanted this blog to be neutral because I was kinda inspired by underblog💛's. I enjoyed blogs like integrityvictim and such, and followed them (i went feral in some of the reblogs lol) completely aware they were against @/thehumanofjustice. Because I wanted this blog to be enjoyed and disliked by both sides. I wanted this blog to interact with both sides.

It started with incorrect pronouns. Then our small group of underblogs had a vote I wasn't involved in nor knew anything about and out of nowhere human is the 'leader' of the underblogverse. I never liked that idea and I expressed my feelings about it before. Luckily more people can join, but nobody has. I do like the concept of @/underblogmanagement, it's a way for people to interact with others and develop their blogs. But its too early. If anything it shouldn't be called that, it shouldn't have been introduced the way it was, and it shouldn't be made now. If we want to make something like this we have to make it bigger and have every single fucking underblog lend a hand.

I wanted to stop when I got the death threats. I thought that maybe, just maybe, it was a fan of the underblogs trolling, and it wasn't actual underblogs hating me. I still think it is. I also wanted to stop when the shipping got too bad. I didn't want this to be like @/undertaleolive that was known as nothing more than being Clover's 'girlfriend'. I don't get as much asks as I used to, and I know the lot of them are from thehumanofjustice or deputyclover (im not dumb.) The only time this blog can be serious is when I make it serious. I chose to let the anons kill Willow so it could be serious. I chose to let Clover kill Willow so it could be serious. I chose to give Willow those hallucinations and give Xeon a concussion so for once this blog wouldn't just be meme asks and roleplays with close friends of mine. I feel limited.

I think underblogmanagement is dumb. I think this rivalry is dumb. I think this blog is dumb. I think the creation of a whole new tag is dumb. I think the fact that only a portion of human's friends and followers is what makes up my follower count is dumb.

I wanted to be an underblog💛 with a story, not whatever the fuck I am now

Reason 2: Other projects - I'm giving the majority of my focus and motivation on this blog. Any motivation and creativity I have for art and writing gets thrown into here with no recognition. I have other things I need to place my focus on. As @/infinitrix, may know, I haven't updated my askblog in 2 months. Instead of drawing art for that blog, I'm drawing art for this one (only to get like 2 notes). Instead of writing dialogue and lore for that one, I'm writing it for this. If the only people who'll actually see what I post are my friends, I think this blog is nothing more than a waste of motivation. I need to focus on other things, and always worrying whether I have rps to finish or art to make isn't helping at all. The majority of art requests on my main are about this blog, too, and I want to work on art that isn't related to this. The only blogs whose lore I enjoy and would like to know more of are Whisper's, Winnie's, and maybe more that i don't interact with. I do think that if there's only a few people really trying to make their blog interesting while the rest is just shits and giggles, it's useless. I put together lore and relationships and art, and it hardly gets any notes. I can say the same for @/apatientwind who makes amazing art that doesn't get notes, and @/whisper-the-human (im eating your writing style ourgh. Keep up the good work :3). And yeah. Im giving up

I'll finish the last two rps I'm in and then leave. Don't try to start any new ones, I wanna make this quick

So I will finish what's unfinished, and possibly this will become a blog to ask about the lore. Maybe one day, when I figure everything out and have more motivation, I'll get back to this. But that won't be soon.

Ill be active on @goldeneclipsee if there are actually fans out there that arent my friends and moots.

Bye.

[lunawolfiefoxy]

Here you go internet! If you want this, this was a helpful thing for me to make! (Just ignore the eyes for step 3 and the feet/hands- this was a while ago, they kinda suck-)

Dialogue under the cut

Art tips to help you IMPROVE

Heads

-Made up of shapes and guidelines -Drawing heads from scratch is hard, don't hurt yourself. Use the guidelines and shapes for help :)

2. Eyes

-They are NOT stickers! They are three dimensional objects and deserve respect -Another thing you can do is use a rhombus. But that is a style choice. (You can add eyelashes now <3) (I'm just too lazy)

3. Nose

-While hard, it is important to remember a good nose shape. It doesn't need to be overly complicated. -Not everyone has the same nose shape, so make sure to change the variation depending on the person.

4. Mistakes

-They. Will. Happen. Just because you make a mistake doesn't mean you're a terrible artist. Just means you're learning. Like a NORMAL HUMAN. Don't attack the mistake, let yourself learn. It's okay to have mistakes. It's art, not the cure for cancer.

5. Ears

-Ears can vary a lot. Some shapes work better than others. For pointy ears, triangles, obviously. Regular ears, squares or circles, or a half a heart. (I personally draw downwards ears like this) -Draw how you want. But make sure it IS proportional.

6. Body

-LEARN ANATOMY. Drawing bodies is near impossible if you don't know basic anatomy. Here are a few things that are a MUST KNOW. 1. The chest should be about two heads long 2. The torso is more triangular, while the waist is like a home plate from baseball 3. The forearm should be just a little longer than the bicep 4. The thigh should be about the same length as the calf

7. Hands

-Annoyingly difficult, but can be done using the simple shapes -Shapes needed: (shapes are listed on paper) -Not gonna lie, this hand is a bad example, BUT, try to make sure that the fingers are generally the same length as the palm.

8. Feet

-Not going to do toe beans, but in boots -The shape (arrow is pointing to shape) can be used for the foot of a boot from the front. -This (arrow is pointing to shape) can be used for the side and 3/4's look (just flip is for the other side)

[rose-reaper]

A Rant About Sword Design

I'm so tired of sword designs in media not looking something that functional. The kind of swords that people who don't know sword design, who add unnecessary design choices that would ACTIVELY HARM the user.

Take this sword from Code Vein for example. For context iirc, this Queen's Knight is supposed to be the equivalent of a demon trying to protect the reason why you can no longer die. This sword would not be used by a human being because of the problems that persist. Aka the pointy bits designed for, "Intimidation." It's not intimidating, it looks stupid. You can tell this is also imbalanced as all hell because of all that extra weight. You can cut off a lot of this sword's extra bulk and you'd have a much more functional sword by removing the spikes alone.

This is a sword from Fate/Stay Night used by Saber. It is simple, elegant and therefor a lot more functional and convincing that someone has used this in war. I swear to you you can demonify this sword and still have it be much more intimidating without all the extra wacky bullshit. I don't want, "Because it's got magic, therefor it functions better." NO! NONE OF THAT! Magic justifying a stupidly design sword, doesn't change the fact that the sword is designed by an ignorant writer who can't design a sword because they're too lazy. Swords are not a fantasy only thing that exists in fantasy. These were real weapons designed to kill people effectively.

I'd be more scared of this guy trying to kill me than the demon from Code Vein if I was to duel them with the assumption I have the training (Which I don't but let's just pretend for this fictitious scenario) because I know that with the demon with unbelievable strength would fall victim to his poor choice in a sword that he'd hurt himself much more before hurting me. You want a sword that functions but has all the wavy stuff put behind it? Take a look at the flamberge.

This is a Flamberge styled sword. German engineered to help be able to pierce through armor effectively, while still allowing for cuts to be made clean. There's also other swords that are designed with a much more straighter curve like for example: The classic saber

or khopesh.

The curve serves a purpose here as the center of gravity allows for a much more effective cut. Moral of the rant: Please writers of fantasy, do your research on your weapons because weapons are more often than not more fun and engaging when they don't look like overdesigned and overly complicated messes. This whole rant applies to shit like short bows, longbows, pistols, rifles, and trebuchets. IF IT IS A WEAPON THAT EXISTED BEFORE, USE IT! Don't overcomplicate your designs and I promise you'll find it more fun to draw stuff that already exists than whatever the hell Bandai Namco tries to do with its weapons.

[highdio]

WAIT! did you see my submission that asked about the whole "show me your fear/how will i rule" flashback? i wanted to ask a lot what you thought. can you dig it up? i remember asking you if it gave nuance to what Dio thinks about his egotism. Seeing himself as so powerful, he's the "only" worthy being who could lead humanity. seeing it as a obligation of some sort. please i am really curious about your view.

I don't think I ever got your earlier ask so it’s good you followed up. Re: the "show me your fear" sequence in CDDH, if I'm being honest it made me cringe a little when I read it, like it came across as tryhard.

The best way for me to explain this is by comparing it to the anime scene where Enya says a lot of the same stuff:

Here Enya does the talking, like she's Dio's hypeman. Dio? He doesn't say anything, and honestly it's kind of funny: she's there going on and on about the Joy of Fear while Dio's sort of just there, chilling in his bedroom with a bunch of naked women.

imo having someone else talk about fear while Dio barely acknowledges that we're doing a scene here is more in-character than the battle monolog in CDDH that you're asking about. That's the thing about how Araki writes Dio, and I think this gets lost sometimes: Dio doesn't usually go out of his way to impress you. An obvious early example is when young Dio's introduced in that boxing match but he's off to the side on the hill, nowhere near the ring, leisurely lacing his gloves. There's a lot of scenes like this, where Dio assumes this passive, unhurried posture (from not leaving Egypt to go after Jotaro, to turning his back to Hol, sitting down and reading a book during the 'Shooting Dio?!' chapter). He doesn't have to go out of his way to do much, instead people get drawn toward him. Once you notice this, it becomes a blueprint in terms of how Araki writes him.

I've have the same criticism with the scene earlier in CDDH where Kadono has Dio boastfully reveal to Kakyoin that he orchestrated Kakyoin's family's trip to Egypt (??).

Anytime he's got Dio taking that pro-active a role I think, no, Dio's too lazy for that. While it's all true that Dio's ambitious and plans for contingencies, he's just not going to go out of his way to lash out or attack. He just sort of waits. Araki says it this way:

“DIO is more of the reactionary type, so [if he'd beaten Jotaro and a new opponent appeared] he probably would have continued to take root in Egypt and wait for his prey to come to him.”

Going back to the CDDH "fear" scene you asked about, while the gist of what he's saying is consistent with Dio's character - he's always testing people's fears, limits and motivations - it still comes across as if it's written too in-your-face, like he's saying a bunch of stuff he doesn't need to say. Even the stylistic choice of putting Dio's dialog in speech bubbles bounded by thick, jagged black borders feels tryhard.

Please remember that Dio is a guy who got his minion to cut off his own head by saying very few words interspersed with a ton of ellipses.

This is what I mean about Dio being softer in approach/more passive in canon than in CDDH and in fanon. It's charisma that draws you in rather than him over-acting.

The other part of your ask about Dio seeing himself as the 'only being worthy of leading humanity' as an obligation also seems a little off. I don't think Dio feels obliged to humanity at all, only because Dio sees himself as a top-of-the-food-chain being and humans as prey. fwiw I still think Dio's primary driver is more along the lines of a top-level athlete in the sense that at some point he's competing with himself to 'transcend' his current peak performance level; ruling over humanity doesn't factor into this as much. ofc you could probably get away with headcanoning him as more interested in ruling mankind, but imo he'd do that for the ego-trip or as some sort of sociological experiment rather than through any perceived indebtedness.

[toyotacorolla2008]

hi!!! i was wondering if you could do a tutorial for how you draw transformers? i can never simplify them like you can. do you have any tips?? also love your art sm <33

hi ヾ(•ω•`)o

I WILL TRY MY best to explain what i do… i don’t actually have a very structured system but this is vaguely how i got started and how i simplified the process

1. look up and compile a whole bunch of references

this will be useful for EVERYTHING– transfomos come with lots of shapes and gizmos and details and stuff so a variety of references from different angles and in different poses is really useful because you can see the shapes they’re made out of and also understand how everything connects with each other

trapezoid town! this is a mess but it’s a quick example of how by looking at everything you start to notice trends or details like what moves with what or how flexible some parts are

there are a whole bunch of resources very nice people have compiled on the web like here here here here and here (mainly MTMTE) and there is a discord server (this is a link to a tumblr post about it and not the invite link itself) for it too but you can always look through the source material and just start screenshotting and pasting shit into a folder. 

you don’t have to do humongous in-depth breakdowns if you just want to be able to quickly doodle robots (god knows i don’t!!) but having the references on-hand makes it easier for the times when you’re like This pose is going to be challenging and I’m not sure how all of the cuboids will be positioned.

references also help break you out of thinking of it as just drawing blockier humans because the proportions and shapes vary a looooooot

2. draw draw draw

at first i drew a lot using refs heavily to get an idea of the shapes then i got lazy and just started drawing anime girls and smacking rectangles and kibble on top BUT as you draw more and more you start to pick up on the Salient Features as well as their General Silhouette.

drawing from memory means that what makes them look recognisable will become more emphasised in your mind so you’ll naturally pick up on how you can simplify them without losing what makes your guy Look Like Your Guy. so if you want to simplify the robots just be incredibly lazy like me B)

i'm kind of horrible because i don't even do like Basic Shapes i literally just eyeball it

for poses i rectangle it out while thinking really hard

anyway when i first tried to draw transformers but Something Didn’t Look Right it was either a) the level of detail across the entire drawing was inconsistent and threw it off balance or b) proportions weren’t right and these things only got better with me finangling and doodling and learning by iteration.

of course sometimes i don’t give a fuck because no cops in transformers doodle land but yeahhhh i’m the kind of guy who only gets through stuff by throwing a lot of rocks at it. i don’t have a Method to offer you unfortunately but what i did do was

3. experiment and exaggerate and experiment!!

The First Rule of Gun Safety is to Have Fun and Be Yourself! i took a lot of liberties and rarely stayed on-model when i doodled and waffled around (and i still do…) but it helped me figure out how much i was willing to draw lol and consequently how i would stylise them.

i would play with how big or small or exaggerated or expressive they'd be… even my most detailed drawings are nowhere near comic-detail but my least detailed ones were. turquoise triangle that’s vaguely brainstorm-shaped. having fun with it and just doing it to make stupid jokes makes the practice seem like not practice.

so yeah tl;dr i started by reffing what bots actually look like, would trace comic panels to get an idea of the shapes and details and then start drawing side-by-side → drew billions of perceptors from my diseased mind and played around with lines → ??? → upgraded from goofy-looking rectangles to goofy-looking rectangles

that’s it for advice! (i don’t feel qualified to say that much)

below are just examples of stupid doodles i’d make on my ipad in class or in the margins of assignments lol, you can tell the last one is from when i still didn't understand brainstorm's build very well because the wings are placed wrongly... But i grew.

hope this was somewhat helpful! there are other tutorials from other artists that i can direct you to but this is how toyotacorolla2008 got to shitposting on tumblr dot com

[ihearasound]

I'm someone who has a really hard time investing energy into the people around me in settings like work and other gatherings that are mostly functional purpose only. When I was younger I tried so hard to get involved with others and it never paid off, and now I don't have any energy left to try. And it makes me feel like a freak because my lack of social skills is SO obvious. I barely try at all anymore. But when I realized today that I forgot to write myself in for the summer company event I got a bit sad, because I saw the entire office leaving and being excited. I immediately resigned myself with jokes like "haha I guess I'll just stay while you guys go have fun!" and this one coworker immediately tried to convince me otherwise, tried to look for ways for me to come too but my lazy ass was responsible for this, so I was fine just accepting not going. They all left and like 10 minutes later I get a call from another coworker whom I've talked to like, 5 times tops. Telling me I should come, and it would make him very happy. So I asked the boss on his take, and he told me to just go lol if I show confidence nobody will care that I'm not on the list. And he still made a call to work it out for me. Got the person on the other end of the line pissed, but also got me on the list.

Honestly looking back at it now I made such a big deal about it. But. The people around me made an even bigger deal out of it. Even though I can always work up the bare minimum to appreciate them.

We did this silly team building at the event where we were teamed up with ppl from different offices. I'm probably never gonna see these people again. But they got so excited asking me about what I do. One exercise required drawing so I offered myself up and everybody was so hyped about what I drew. Unrelated ppl took pictures. Whenever we got a high amount of points our members would turn to each other and we'd high five.

Like God. These interactions are so menial. But. I don't think I've ever felt so human. For years I considered myself a wretch who survived by pure chance, never having a chance at finding my place. And now a coworker flashing me the brightest smile whenever she passes has me tearing up. Its legit making me tear up. I didn't know I could actually experience what it means to socialize in a normal setting like a normal human. I'm 26 and people looking at me makes me happy