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aroaessidhe · 8 months ago
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2024 reads / storygraph
Ocean’s Godori
space opera set in a future world where Korea is the main power
follows three character: a disgraced alliance pilot, working on a ship with a quirky crew, a mysterious medic from a different planet, and the son of a tech empire
slow-building plot, themes of identity, colonialism and capitalism
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planetallure · 3 months ago
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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ fic recs
CW: these works contain explicit content intended for those 18+. make sure to read the rules of the writers before interacting.
@peterthepark : coming back to this blog made me realize when exactly i started back reading fanfic fr. the moment that was eddie mf munson, touched something in me. reign was one of my first intros that really stuck with me. it kinda blew my mind and scared me at the same time because i was like…how do i move on…what’s better than this??? brilliance. creative genius. like what more do you want from me? reign, i miss you. <3
i rec literally anything she’s written about eddie or tasm!peter parker.
@ohcaptains : i really don’t know what to tell you man. leah. is. HER. she simply does not miss. funny story: when i first started my old blog, it was ageless so i ended up getting blocked. so i pm’d her basically begging to come back home because i knew what i had lost. i’m not ashamed.
"dealers choice" - if you happened to miss the moment that was eddie munson or you miss his character or you were never really into him, this lil universe is for you. <3
"learning in public" - carmy x fem!reader. he needs it. he wants it. he has to have it. a man on his knees. enjoy.
"don't you dare fall in love" - heads up this one was discontinued and will not be continued (so don’t go harassing her about it) but the last part has an open ending so don’t let that stop you. college student/dealer!ellie x fem!reader. it’s beautiful and perfect. enjoy.
also ALL of her frank castle, abby anderson, tasm!peter parker fics. thank youuu
@inknopewetrust : this woman is a W R I T E R. the beautiful angsty things that come from her brain need to be cherished. thank you for your service.
“hoping i’ll find [a glimpse of us]” - when i tell you this shit was so fricking good!!!!!?! another piece of LITERATURE that i couldn’t believe i got to read for free on tumblr. i am such a sucker for a angsty slow burn and this still lives in me head rent free to this day. the tension had me giggling and laughing and biting my nail and crying. i need to spin back. i need to feel something!!
“secret” : now this one was a sexy forbidden romance. eddie’s our man who isn’t our man but is and oh m gee the angst in this one got me too, though it wasn’t as much. preppy!reader x eddie munson iykyk.
@etherealising : the absolute sweetest person i’ve met on here. every interaction i have with her just makes me smile. on TOP of that she’s a beautiful writer and storyteller. vee you have my heart.
“all i ever knew only you” - the best carmy x oc fic i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading on here. i’m so emotionally attached to this series, its characters and i think it has such re-readablity . the characterization is also so well done carmy x baby 4life. it’s currently discontinued but she is currently doing a rewrite and it’s going really well! in the meantime, please don’t let that stop you from reading the original while it’s still up. you won’t regret it.
“a buried and a burning flame” - vee single-handedly has me looking a richie different now. like…wait a minute :)) the bickering and banter is so fun. tension? check. spice?? check.
“flew like a moth to you” - a continuation of the one above. babyyyy!!! yes, yes, uh huh 🙂‍↕️ these two? LOVE EM. he’s officially in my heart.
@totheblood : star is so kind and super creative. she has created some of my favorite ellie williams smau’s on here.
"the hard way" - rockstar!ellie williams x ex-gf!reader smau. you guys are brought together again to solve the mystery that is the anonymous account blackmailing the two of you. mmm, nothing like the takedown of a shady mf to bring the girls together again :)
@cherriesxinthespring : another sweetheart with a beautiful mind. ik people get the characterization/true nature of ellie so wrong, but not rosie. she gets it.
“wasteland, baby!” - the wlw true enemies to lovers slow burn i’ve been dreaming of. tap in. right now.
@elliesbelle
“nobody compares to you” : a deliciously angsty slow burn second chance romance (ex!ellie x f!reader)
all the text convos for abby and ellie.
@newasskid : this blog makes me so nostalgic. THE first fic series that i read and rebloged when i started my first ff blog, came from this writer. i honestly feel it was my first time reading fanfic that wasn’t a silly little wattpad story or imagine and i was honestly gagged. i was like, “this…this is literature.” what can i say? i love good ass characterization! and this one was no exception.
“hard knock life” - like i said i was gagged with how good it was. i read the first two chapters back in 2022 and i still remember the feeling i felt reading them. this new blog i’m making is a fresh start for me and a chance for me to get back into old fandoms. will be revisiting this one soon.
@lovelettersfromluna
"one of your girls" - biker!ellie/roommate!ellie/camgirl!ellie x f!reader ALL rolled into to this ridiculously sexy little universe!! i love these two so much :’(
"compass" - vampire!ellie !!!! my new favorite thing. the way luna writes her feeding on reader ALONE is the most erotic and intimate thing. my god this was hot.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
sending all of this beautiful writers my love and respect y’all are amazing and so important. <3
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writing-mlm · 8 months ago
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If you don't mind me asking
Could you please write Wally west x reader? (If not that's alright!)
I absolutely love your writing and there's so little Wally west x m!reader fanfics
Hope you have a lovely rest of your Day/Night or Evening :)
Everyone but you
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Summary: Wally notices the newest addition and his quirks, quickly finding himself attached to his hip. Pretty soon, they're attached at the hips and his best friend can't seem to notice. Or After joining The Team, Wally worms his little redhead into your life. Pairing: Wally West x male reader WC: 12.2k TW: religious trauma, implied sex, references to child neglect, lowkey yj slander if you squint a/n: i was close to making this longer but Im p sure tumblr has a word limit LOL
Wally saw the little things, how could he not? Life was in slow motion for him, he’d be the worst speedster to ever exist if he didn’t naturally have faster reaction times. 
They’re practical, both off and on the field. Off the field, he notices when his food is about to drop onto the floor when a bird is about to swoop in and steal his food— it's good for saving his food. And you. 
He remembers when you joined the team. One month after The Team was officially recognized by the JLA Bruce and Diana had shown up with you nestled in between the two of them. You were almost bored, twiddling with your phone as he could faintly hear the music through your chunky headphones as Batman explained you were the ward of Doctor Light— not the bad guy, the woman with the super cool light powers. 
He’d made a stupid joke, calling you Nurse Light, not thinking you’d actually hear him over but for a millisecond he saw you smile. And a millisecond was enough for him.
The others weren’t too sure about a new team member, especially after learning that your powers were a lot like Enchantress. Powers via possession weren’t all that popular, go figure. Especially when you hardly ever spoke to anyone but your reflection. 
Needless to say, your introduction to The Team was rough, especially after your first mission. It was difficult but extremely successful and everyone was going to celebrate by having a pizza party. Wally had picked them up in a minute flat, it would’ve taken less time but he had to pay in cash and when he returned everyone was still on their way to the kitchen. 
But as everyone dipped inside the kitchen, you kept walking. 
“You don’t want pizza?” M'gann asks, the first to notice your absence. You don’t look back as you’re giving her a thumbs down that the others frown at. 
“I’ll save him a slice,” Wally was the only one to notice how your hand kept twitching as you were walking away. Rightfully assuming that you didn’t want the others to know about the quirk, he hurriedly sets out the pizza boxes on the large kitchen island. 
While the others are talking over their pizza, he grabs a plate and guesses what you’d like. He ends up on one extra cheese and one pepperoni; he could always go back if you wanted more or anything else. He also grabs one of the drinks and makes his way to the dorms of Mount Justice. 
Knocking once and then twice, his eyes flicker about. Unsure of what to do, he leans closer to the door. 
“Ah, hey, (Y/n). It’s me, Wally, I brought you pizza.” He says, just below a shout. The door opens before he walks away and you stand there, a little frazzled. He catches several things in the span of a second. He sees how your breathing evens out, how you try and block his view of the mess you made, and how your eyes twitch. They do that whenever the woman possessing you, whom you’ve only referred to as Sculk, talks to you. 
“Thank you,” But you don’t move to grab the plate until he hands it to you. He catches that the tips of your nails are suddenly sharp and a deep black color. 
“I wasn’t sure what you’d like but—“ He trails, his eyes finding yours again. 
“It’s fine,” You nod, the smile on your face short and fleeting. “But you should return to the others. They’d like your presence more.” He doesn’t take it in a serious manner. Truly he doesn’t think you meant harm by your words, he understands that now simply isn’t a good time and you need to be alone. 
“Okay, if you want more, just send down a message.” He doesn’t wait for you to respond before he’s in the elevator. You don’t look to see him, favoring having your door closed again. 
Sculk, as no one has pointed out, is named from Minecraft, and appears to you as a bioluminescent blue ghost, covered in a fog of black smoke. She’s nice enough, aside from the constant chatter you have to endure from her. But the trade-off is good, you never get peace and quiet but you get super cool powers.
Like June Moone, finding Sculk was nothing short of an accident. You’d been young, inside the Appalachian Mountains when you stumbled across a cool-looking rock. It was black with crackles of an unnatural blue, seemingly carved to look like a fallen leaf. It wasn’t until you had returned to the car that it broke, releasing Sculk into you. 
While it was cool that you had powers and spoke to someone only you could see, your family didn’t see it as such. Small-town churchgoers didn’t seem to take to the idea of possession and after almost two months you’d run away. 
Self-isolation was tough, but was harder was introducing yourself back into groups of people. 
“Down for a game?” Dick asks, waving a spare controller as you exit the kitchen, digging into a bowl of fruit covered in chocolate syrup. Looking at the game, you see it’s some first-person shooter game, and then down at your bowl. Your fingers are already covered in the sauce and sticking together. 
“No.” You’ve never played that game, and besides, you wouldn’t want chocolate syrup on their belongings. Dick frowns at your bluntness while Conner shares a look with Artemis. 
“You can just watch,” Wally offers, grabbing the remote Dick grabbed. “Or watch me.” He adds with a wink. Only his eyes catch your lips turning up into a smile before you look off for a moment. 
He takes that as a win, even if you once again say no before disappearing. 
It takes about three months after that incident for you to join the others on their game nights. That night in particular was another game you’d never seen before; you were more acquainted with board games and whatever games were on a Gameboy you found in the woods. 
Admittedly, you’re frustrated that you don’t understand the controls, that your grip isn’t quite right on the controller, and that you don’t even know what’s happening. It’s a multiplayer game with one point of view, you’d picked some random character that made Wally laugh. Some blue animal with a pair of red shoes. He picked a small pink thing. 
“You’re worse than M’gann!” Dick laughs, nudging your shoulder as you’re the first to die again. Everyone else laughs (was it at you or with Dick?) and you swallow your words, staring at your controller. Your eyes burn and you aren’t sure why. 
It’s a learning curve, kid. Sculk reassures you and you feel her petting your head. 
You felt like shit whenever you denied the others, you wanted to hang out with them. It seemed like fun. But you clearly weren’t the best company. The others are doing good, encouraging each other while also doing their best to win. They’re cheering and laughing, having side conversations in between their shouting and groaning. No one seems to notice your lack of mental attendance, you suppose it’s hardly different from when you’re there or not. 
Fuck it, you should’ve just said no again. Saved yourself the embarrassment. 
When you’re about to get up and leave, Wally places a hand on your arm. It was risky, in his eyes. No one has actually come into physical contact with you, as strange as it sounds. 
“Pick Mewtwo next time,” Wally whispers when his character dies for the second time. “I’ll teach you the controls, just hang on.” Nodding, you watch as he throws himself off the platform and the others don’t question it. One less person to fight against. With his character officially dead, he turns his attention onto you. 
“You gotta hold it like this,” He grins but doesn’t laugh at the way you hold the controller. “For max efficiency, most people hold it like this.” Following the way he’s holding it, he nods and sets his controller down. He then tells you the basic moves you need to know, explaining that for now, you need to focus on getting a grip on that before he moves on special moves. 
It takes maybe four rounds before you finally win. 
“You did it!” You grin when you realize that Mewtwo is the final one on the platform. Wally will never admit that he had spent the entire game making sure you didn’t die, he swears that to himself when he sees you smiling for more than a split second. How you’re much more relaxed than before, enjoying the company of everyone as they congratulate you. 
The games continue, you play several others but your favorite is the volleyball game. You won that one all by yourself. Nearly undefeated, the others were fighting each other to be on your team. 
“You should join us more often,” Artemis tells you as everyone decides it’s time to go to bed. Dick is in charge of putting everything up since apparently, everyone else breaks the consoles when they do. Hell, Conner had broken the controller ten times throughout the night. 
“I know, right!” Wally grins, slinging his arm over her shoulder. She shrugs him off but he doesn’t seem to mind. 
“Perhaps,” You nod. “Peaceful night, all.” And then you’re gone. 
When Wally is inside of his room he sees something on his pillow. 
Thank you for teaching me how to properly play, Wallace. 
-(Y/n) 
He grins at the note and sets it on his desk before he pauses. 
How the fuck did you put that there? 
Admittedly, you’re much closer with Wally than the others on The Team. For whatever reason, they don’t seem to like you. Perhaps it’s a natural thing, they’ve instinctively kept their distance. Your nature scares them, perhaps. Maybe Wally’s instincts weren’t as tuned in as the others, perhaps he hadn’t looked the gifted horse in the mouth. 
In truth, you wanted nothing more than to be a part of their group. But you’d missed a key part of growing up, without much time spent around others, perhaps… you came off strange. You’ve read about it before, stunted emotional growth. The inability to interact with peers. 
Not with Wally, though. 
He basks in the fact that he’s the only one you’ve willingly allowed into your room. It’s dark, just as your room was in the cabin somewhere in the middle of the woods. For some reason, he just knows that you hate the large overhanging lights, how you prefer the natural light of the sun but living inside of the mountain doesn’t allow for that. 
Instead, his eyes flicker to the lamps around your room. Placed in odd spots that lit up the room wonderfully when they were on. 
“Dick wants everyone downstairs,” He struggles to tell you, hating the fact that he’s ripping you away from your solace. That you’d been engrossed in creating a paper mache sun and moon. You look up at him, glue dripping from your hands. “There’s a mission request from Batman.” He explains when he sees that look on your face. It’s hard to explain but he knows your expressions by now. 
Call him an expert or whatever, it’s just a little something- something he can do that no one else can. Not that he’s bragging. 
“Thank you, Wallace.” Standing up, he watches as you use your magic to clean the mess from your hands. 
“What’re you making?” He asks as the two of you walk out of your room. 
“I heard that Raquel’s birthday was coming up,” You explain, picking at the skin around your nails. “Everyone likes the sun and moon, no?” It’s not intentional, at least Wally doesn’t think it is. But you’re admitting, in your own way, that you don't know much about her and you’d like to. And if they permit, the others, too. 
“They’re pretty important,” He agrees, smiling over at you. “Just so you know, my birthday is January 16th and I love food.” 
“Noted.” 
Raquel’s birthday had come and passed, she was surprised by your gift but accepted it all the same. You’d given it to her when the party was over, feeling there was no proper time to give it. No one else had, so you weren’t sure what to do. 
For Wally’s birthday only two weeks later, he’d been the opposite. He had a small table dedicated purely to gifts, his eyes shining brightly when he had seen a neatly wrapped box in your arms. 
He’d wanted a simple cake, but it was weird. A pink cake with a white border and rainbow sprinkles everywhere, on the edge was a large dollop of green icing with what you assumed were two arms and legs, and the black icing used for the eyes was sliding off. Behind the small creature was the word Forg. He does know it’s spelled frog, right?
That’s the joke. Sculk tells you as you stare at the word with disbelief. Oh, that makes more sense. It’s funny, now that you think about it. Such a silly little icing frog. 
Basking in the attention on himself, Wally dances along to the Happy Birthday song. Although he almost missed it, he caught how you watched him with a smile that lasted longer than a millisecond. 
When it’s time for him to open his gift, he loves everything. The food, the gear, and the tech. For some reason, he’d waited to open yours last and for some stranger reason, you were nervous. Anxious, even. 
“What is it?” He grins, ripping open the paper. Glancing at you, he winks and opens the box. Staring for a moment you worry you’ve done the wrong thing. His reaction is minimal compared to what it had been for the others. “Holy shit!” He gasps, pulling out a set of plates. There are five there and he only looks at the top one; designed to look like an orange slice. He then pulls out the plates that could also be bowls, and then the bowls. 
“Where’d you find these?” He grins, looking through all of the designs. He especially loves the silly little smiley faces on some of the items. 
“I made them,” You correct. “There’s more inside.” Digging inside, he pulls out various utensils. Each of them has their own design, like the alligator knife and the shell spoon. He thinks he likes the Nunchuck chopsticks the most, though. 
“You know me so well!” He gushes, pulling you into a tight hug. For a moment, you freeze. Your whole body tenses but there’s something about the hug, something about him that makes you relax and hug him back. 
Oh no. Sculk mutters but doesn’t explain further. 
The moment Wally knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that you like him back is when there’s a fan flirting with him. The two of you were walking together, forced to pair up by Dick and look around for possible leads. The girl, who Wally would admit is his type (everyone is if he’s being honest), clearly meant no harm by the flirting. If he was her, he’d definitely flirt with himself, too. 
But all he could focus on was the fact that your nostrils flared, you looked her up and down, picking apart her appearance in your head before looking away, and then looked at Wally, trying to see if he was showing signs that he was interested. 
A part of him wanted to entertain her; just to see your reaction but he didn’t. He was happy enough that you were jealous. 
“I’m sorry,” Wally stops the girl mid-sentence. “It was nice meeting you but we need to get back to work.” Testing the waters, Wally places his arm across your shoulder. When you don’t move, he takes that as another win. 
“I’m sorry,” The girl tucks her hair behind her ear, shrinking away. “Have a good day, Kid Flash, Ward.” Nodding, you watch as she leaves before looking at Wally. 
“I don’t like her,” He says and your face nearly lights up before you relax again. 
“How’d you know I was going to ask?” You ask, walking ahead to continue your search. He, of course, keeps pace and mindlessly plays with the ends of your hair.  
“There’s someone better for me.” He grins, awfully close to your face. You frown, that wasn’t your question. Sculk groans loudly and you roll your eyes. 
The kid is flirting fuck the question, kid! 
She screams into your ear and you wince. She’s never really yelled that loud before. Is he, though? She groans louder at that thought and you feel the wind smack your head. 
Wally, feeling the harsh breeze, looks behind the two of you. 
“It was Sculk,” You admit and he raises his eyebrows.
“How can she use her powers without you?” He asks. “I know June Moone has control until she says Enchantress, but you don’t?” Nodding, the two of you turn a corner. 
  “We’re partners.” Sculk awes inside your head. “She gets to experience human life, I get powers.”
“Seems a little unfair,” He admits. “Couldn’t she just take over?” 
“She can,” Nodding, you look down at your hand and flex it. It feels as if she’s tugging your hand around, moving each of your fingers. “But she’s not like the witch. She takes over if it’s needed or if I use too much at once and need her rapid assistance.”
“Like that time with the pizza…” The black nails, that’s probably the curse of her true form. He sorta hopes it’s the curse. 
“Yes. Her powers are a curse that I have built up a solid immunity to, but sometimes it’s too much for me.” Your hands flicker with the reddish-purple magic Wally has grown accustomed to seeing. In the magic, he sees a bird forming and watches as it flies away when it’s fully formed. 
“And if she takes over completely?” Wally looks back at you, worried about your answer. As cool as the idea seemed, he knows he’d hate it if he had to fight a possessed you. If Sculk decides she is done with Earth and tries to end it like Enchantress had done before. 
“I wouldn’t know,” You admit as if it’s nothing. “Full control means the other goes dormant until the other sees fit.” It doesn’t ease his fears but he lets it go. 
The main focus for him is that he’s finally gotten more than a sentence out of you. 
Score! 
“He’s so in love with me,” Wally grins to Dick, dragging out the ‘so’ while he’s working on his science homework. They’re both in Dick’s room, Wally laying on Dick’s bed while Dick is working on his laptop. Something about detective work for a case he’s working; boring with a capital B-O-R-I-N-and-G. 
“Is he?” Dick asks, sparing Wally a glance. As the team leader Dick swears that he knows his teammates pretty well and you… he seriously doubts Wally is your type. He’s loud, outspoken, adventurous, and quite frankly, Dick couldn’t imagine the two of you together. When he tried to picture you dating someone, he imagined that you’d end up with someone like his father. Not his best friend.
“He told me ‘Don’t eat so fast, you’ll choke’! That’s an admission of love,” Despite hearing his own words out loud, Wally stands by his statement. Huffing, Wally officially puts his homework on pause. “He made me a full kitchen set for my birthday. He learned all the characters of Mario Kart for me. Who does he like being paired with? Me. I get him, he gets me,” He says, his voice a little smaller in the end. He doesn’t understand why it’s so hard for Dick and the others to understand that you’re not some type of robot or a time traveler from 1703. 
It’s been a year since Wally was sure of your feelings, a year of him hopelessly falling deeper for you. A year of pure torture, honestly! 
“I just want to make sure you aren’t reading into this,” Dick sighs, facing his friend. His expression is sullen, hurt that Dick doesn’t believe him. Believe that you’re capable of loving him. “I mean, how often do you talk to him? Does he talk back? More than a one-word response, I mean.” He rolls his shoulders back, trying to alleviate the tension building in them. 
“Oh my god,” Wally sighs as if he’s had this conversation a million times. “Is being quiet suddenly a crime? And you never took the time to talk to him, I did. He’s very funny,” He says that last part the same way a child tells an adult that they know a secret that the adult doesn’t know. 
Dick goes to talk but someone knocks on the door. 
“Come in,” He sighs, their conversation officially put on pause. The door opens and Dick nearly swears you’d been listening through the vents because you stand at the door. 
“Hello, Robin, Wallace,” You call, your eyes cast towards the floor. “Can we talk, in private?” Wally nods, closes his notebook, and follows after you. 
“What’s wrong?” He asks as the two of you enter your room. It’s the same dark that it always is, but it’s a mess. Things are thrown about and there are burn marks surrounding an outline of someone kneeling. The door closes and you stand in front of him, eyes bleary and lip quivering. 
“I read that men shouldn’t cry,” You tell him, unable to look at him as you speak. “Sculk tells me that I should cry.” You add, barely catching Wally’s eyebrows furrow. 
“I cry,” He offers, guiding you to your bed. “Superman cries! Batman cries… plenty of men cry. Why are you…?” Sitting down, you scoot back until your entire body is on the bed. 
“I found out my parents died.” As you say it, your face twists and you scrub your face. He frowns and hugs you. It doesn’t take more than a second before you hug back. “I hated them, they abandoned me. Called me names, vicious and foul. I shouldn’t be crying,” You ramble into his shoulder, your head shaking and his shirt getting damp. 
“It’s normal to mourn,” He coos, rubbing your back. “You loved them, even if it was a long time ago.” 
“I do not wish to feel this,” You admit and he nods. In truth, he doesn’t know how to help you. But he tried his best. 
“When my grandfather died I hadn’t been on the best terms with him. He’d… I found out that he ran a… blog of sorts that spoke about his hatred for heroes. For the speedsters. He called us names and I broke. I stopped talking to him and yelled at him whenever he tried to talk to me. The man I knew had died that day. But when he died for real,” He sighs, staring at the wall. “I knew there was no going back,” His voice goes soft as he tries not to think about him too much. 
“They should’ve loved me, he should’ve loved you.” You mutter, removing yourself from the hug. “Why weren’t they capable of loving us?” Frowning, he shrugs and wipes the tears from your face. 
“It’s better that we don’t know. But you are capable of being loved. Sculk loves you, and Dr. Light loves you. I like you, Artemis likes you—“
“I doubt that,” You huff, fixing yourself before looking around your room. “I apologize for my appearance and the mess of my room. The sudden despondency caused my actions to become rash,” With a spell, your room fixed itself. 
“You should see my room,” He laughs, nudging your shoulder with his. Staring at him, you smile and look away. “And don’t worry, I won’t tell the others.” Not that you thought he would’ve. 
“Thank you, Wallace. You’re a great company, your grandfather was wrong about whatever he had talked out his ass about.”
“You cursed?” He belts out a laugh and you raise an eyebrow, snickering at his reaction. 
“I am grown enough to curse, Wallace! This isn’t the Regency era!” Never did you think you’d have to defend the fact that you cursed. And yet, here you are. 
“Isn’t it?” He grins. “If you had a British accent, you’d make the perfect actor for Bridgerton!” 
“What is that?” 
Wally, having deemed that a crime, insists that you have to watch the show. He drags you out of your room and into his. It isn’t as messy as he had led you to believe. Some thrown-around items, an unnamed bed, and empty bottles on the desk. But he quickly fixed the bed and grabbed his laptop before placing it in between his two pillows. 
“Wall or open?” He asks, pointing to the two available spots. You look between them before pointing to the wall. “Hurry! You gotta watch the show!” Tugging you over to his bed, you climb in and sit with your legs crossed. He doesn’t comment on it, aside from saying your back is going to hurt if you stay like that and he lays next to you.
“What is this show about?” You ask, watching as he logs into his Netflix account. 
“Uhhh,” He drags out as he’s finding the show. “During the Regency era in England, eight close-knit siblings of the powerful Bridgerton family attempt to find love.” He reads. “Season one is about one of the daughters, Daphne.” He further explains as the show starts.
Three episodes in, you somehow found yourself on your stomach, unable to look away from the screen. You’re completely engrossed in the show, the two of you missing the call for dinner as you’re on the final two episodes. 
“I am Daphne and you are Simon,” You whisper as they have sex during their honeymoon. He glances over at you, a smile spreading across his face.
“I’m Daphne,” He shakes his head, his voice an equal whisper. 
“Ah, yes,” Grinning, you look at him. “The red hair, my mistake.” Bowing his head into his arm, he snorts and leans into you. 
“So we’re married?” He asks. 
“Dating, perhaps,” You settle on. Play it cool, he tells himself and nods, skipping the rest of the sex scene. “Dating, totally?”
“Dating, officially.” You agree. 
Suck it, Dick. Haha, get it? 
Surely, Wally would be the one with dating experience, you tell yourself as you prepare for your first-ever date. He’d given vague details about the date, telling you to wear something comfortable but to also bring a sweater because he expects the date to last well into the night. 
What even is comfortable dress wear? Wally's comfortable wear is shorts and a graphic design shirt but your comfortable wear is a good button-down and slacks. 
Groaning, you settle on jeans and a white shirt. That’ll have to do. Yes. Grabbing a pair of jeans from the depths of your closet, you try to not second guess yourself again.
Tucking and untucking the shirt, you stare at yourself in the mirror. 
“Sculk,” You whine, throwing yourself onto the bed. “I do not appreciate this anxiety I am feeling, please take it away.” 
“No,” She laughs and you stare at her in the mirror. “This is fun, my baby's first date!” Rolling your eyes, you fix yourself again before smelling your breath. “You’ve brushed ten times. Give your human mouth a rest,” She groans and pulls you towards the door. Clinging to the wall, you feel the metal bending before she nearly tossed you out of the room and to where Wally was waiting at the elevator. 
“Nervous?” He grins as you stumble next to him. 
“Truly,” You laugh, trying to shake your nerves out. Looking him over, you see that he has a woven basket in his non-dominant hand. Ah, a picnic. The jeans were appropriate.
“Hi to you, too, Sculk.” He adds as the doors open. 
“She says hello and that she’ll go dormant soon. Something about privacy,” 
Outside, you feel the warm breeze that signals the start of summer and Wally nearly basks in it. Like a plant. 
“Get on my back,” He grins, lowering himself in front of you. 
“Whatever for?” You ask while climbing on. He stands up and holds onto each of your calves, his mind immediately catching that he’s never noticed your calves are built. Swallowing, he clears his throat and looks back towards you. 
“You’ll see! Hold on tight,” Bracing yourself, you feel the wind nearly punching you with how fast he’s moving. In fear of losing an eye, you close your eyes and hide your head behind his. It gets a bit chilly and you can tell he’s crossing the ocean because of the sound of water being hit. 
Soon enough, he stops and lets you down. When you open your eyes you find yourself on the shores of a beach with tall rocks and tall trees. 
“Google said Anse Source D’Argent is the best beach in the whole world,” He explains, guiding you toward a patch of sand large enough for the blanket he had stuffed into the basket. 
“It is lovely,” You agree, looking around. There’s no one around for miles. The sound of the water was damn near hypnotic and you bet you could climb those rocks in less than three seconds. 
“And I know that you’ve never been to a beach before… so why not bring you to the best beach ever?” He grins, grabbing your hands to pull you over to the blanket. It’s large enough that the two of you can comfortably lie down and have space for the food and drinks. 
“Thank you,” Settling on your knees, your eyes scan over the water. Watching the water roll in and get pulled back into the ocean. 
“Wanna swim?” He asks and you hurriedly nod, rushing up and leaving him in your dust. He calls for you, calling you a cheater, and rushes into the water, splashing you in his wake. Diving after him, he laughs at your puffed-out cheeks and barely open eyes. Pulling you deeper into the water, you watch as the fish swim away from the two of you. Surfacing for air, you see Wally do the same, his hair clinging to his face as you’re sure your hair does the same. 
“Why do you do that?” He asks, mimicking your puffed-out cheeks and closed eyes. 
“What else am I supposed to do?” You ask back and he shakes his head as if to say rookie before showing you. He inhales, his cheeks never puffing out, and then dives back down, looking at you with his eyes open. Copying him, you do as he did and feel the sting in your eyes almost immediately. 
After a few seconds, you get used to it and he nods, giving you a thumbs up. Giving one back, the two of you continue swimming. 
Sometime later, you’re floating on your back as Wally dives back down for a while. When he comes back up, he carefully places a couple of shells and pebbles on your shirt. 
“They reminded me of you,” He grins, the lack of air clear on his face. Lifting your head, you look at the rocks and shells. It’s hard to see them, but you smile all the same. “Let’s go eat, you can look at them on the sand!” He suggests and collects the items again. 
On the sand, you’re shaking yourself dry, suddenly realizing that swimming in jeans wasn’t the best idea. Waking Sculk up, you dry yourself off and she goes back to sleep. 
Wally is already dry, something about super speed and running laps. 
“I love this one,” You tell him, picking up the nearly intact knobbed whelk shell. With various shades of pink and beige on it, you hold up to Wally’s face and grin. “You match!” Rolling his eyes, he grabs a piece of foggy sea glass similar to the color of your eye. When he finds it, he grabs his phone and you watch as he opens his camera, placing the sea glass next to your eye. 
“Smile,” He urges and you do, hearing him take at least a dozen pictures, he shows you the ones he deems the best. Doing the same with him, you have him hold the shell to the side of his face and take three pictures. He does something with his phone before he opens up the basket to pull out the food. 
The rest of the date was spent with cloud gazing, building sand castles, and talking each other's ears off until you were interrupted by a call from Dick. He frowns but the both of you understand and pack up, quickly heading back to the others. 
Five months into dating, Wally mentions the idea of you meeting his family. Thanksgiving is coming up and the others agreed to go home and spend time with someone other than the team for a change. Your plans were to go back to your cabin or with Doctor Light for the weekend but…
“Would they like me?” You ask from your spot on his bed. He looks up at you, his face once firmly planted on your chest. “I mean, you’re the only person who enjoys my company thus far. I’d hate to make them uncomfortable,” Sitting up, Wally pulls you up with him and holds your face firmly in his hands. 
“I’ve told my family all about you and they’re dying to meet you, smokey!” He explains and the stupid nickname makes your eyes roll. “Besides, we’re pretty serious, right?” Nodding, he nods back. “So why not meet my family?” 
“If you’re sure… I don’t see the harm. But I’d need them to approve of it first,” 
And that’s how you ended up at the West house the day before Thanksgiving. Dressed in a brown sweater with thin white stripes, a pair of Wally’s baggy jeans, and your dress shoes; you stand next to Wally as he spam rings the bell. 
“I think they’ve heard it,” You slowly tell him, lowering his arm. 
“You think?” He grins, sliding his arm through your hand until you’re holding his hand. He’s dressed in a simple button-down and jeans, the best you’d get him to wear to the event.
“Wally!” A woman with darker red hair than Wally greets as she opens the door. “And you must be (Y/n),” Nodding, you fumble your hands before extending the hand that Wally wasn’t holding as he chuckles. 
“Hello, Mrs. West, thank you for having me.” She smiles and shakes your hand. 
“Please, call me Mary. Come on in, it’s chilly out.” Following Wally inside the home you see various pictures of him and his family hanging up. Baby pictures, first day of school, major events like weddings. 
“He pooped himself that day,” Barry tells you as you’re staring at a picture of Wally when he was in middle school, holding a science trophy. First place. 
“Barry!” Wally groans. “He’s lying,” He tells you and ushers you away as you’re waving at Barry. Barry laughs and heads towards the kitchen where you see Iris. 
“That’s Jay and Joan. He was the first Flash,” He whispers as the two of you enter the living room. 
“So,” Rudy says from behind you and you nearly jump out of your skin, spinning around to look at Wally’s father. “You’re the boy my son is dating?” He asks, his eyes scanning over you. Letting go of Wally’s hand, your nails mess with the thread of your sweater, pulling and picking at it. 
“Yes, sir,” You nod, swallowing your fear. With his eyebrows raised, he rubs his mustache. Lord, that’s a big mustache. 
Do not focus on his mustache! Sculk shouts. 
“You do drugs?”
“No, sir.”
“Drink?”
“No, sir.” You shake your head, feeling your chest tighten and suddenly your heart is in your throat. 
“Dad,” Wally almost scolds before his father can ask another question. “How about I show you my old room?” Nodding, you wave to the others and hurriedly follow Wally up to his room. 
“I cannot breathe,” You admit once the door closes. “I have never felt this nervous before, perhaps this was a bad idea.” Helping you to the bed, Wally opens the two windows of his old room. 
“It’s normal to be nervous,” He reassures you as he sits next to you. “Plus, you’re super powerful! They can’t hurt you,” As he’s speaking, he’s drawing chemical bonds on the back of your hand. Each of their names pops into your head, but it does nothing to take your attention away from your fear. 
“I do not wish to harm your family!” You bark, covering your face. “But what if they go astray? Wallace,” Looking at him, he frowns and rubs your back. 
“Ask Sculk to go to sleep if you’re worried. How about we stay for an hour if you still want to go and then we can. I promise,” Slowly, you nod. 
“I need to use the bathroom, but I’ll be right back, okay?” He stands up and you go to stop him, about to beg him to stay but nod. He smiles softly and slowly kisses you. “Sit and breathe, maybe look at my embarrassing pictures.” He points to a shelf with various pictures and a picture book mixed in with textbooks and comics. Nodding, he pecks your forehead and leaves. 
Laying flat on his bed, you hold your hands over your chest. Feeling yourself breathing and your heart stop beating so fast. Once it’s calm enough, you walk over to the window and sit out on the porch roof. Watching as cars drive past and as families greet each other around the block, you frown. 
Maybe if you hadn’t picked up the stone that held Sculk, those kids could’ve been you. You could’ve seen your family again. You could’ve grown up being loved by your family, and seeing your siblings grow up. Go to school, graduate. 
Sighing, you lay your head on the wall behind you, now staring at the sky. 
In truth, it probably was always going to end up this way. With you away from your family, shunned and cast out. But this was probably the best outcome because now you have Dr. Light and Wally. You have Sculk, too. 
“Hey, babe,” Wally climbs out of the window. He knows how you find the word odd, but he loves your reaction to it. “Ready to go back down?” He asks, sitting next to you. 
“Not yet,” You mutter, laying your head on his shoulder. He nods, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and the two of you stare at the clouds together until your legs go numb and you’re forced inside. 
“I promise, they’ll love you.” 
Downstairs, everyone is seated in the living room and watching some show. Unsure if you should greet them, you wave once again and sit next to Wally on the couch. While you’re nervous and unable to watch the courtroom show, you try your best. 
“Oh,” Iris says as she checks her phone. “I hope it’s okay but I invited my friend and her husband over; her parents just died and I didn’t want her to be alone.”
“That’s fine, hun,” Rudy nods and everyone tunes back into the show until Wally suggests playing Just Dance. 
“(Y/n), partners?” He grins as his father loads the game. You’ve played the game before, maybe three times but Wally is infinitely better than you. 
“Sure,” You agree and the two of you pick a song. Apparently, they play in teams, and whoever scores the most wins. He picks Kesha’s C’mon. 
“You always pick this,” You chide, standing next to him. 
“I gotta show off,” He shrugs. 
After three rounds, it’s decided that Jay and Joan got last place, Rudy and Mary got third, Barry and Iris got second, while you and Wally got first. He cheers, of course, holding up the Wii controllers as if it was a trophy. 
“I’d like to dedicate this win to my amazing boyfriend! His support means everything!” He says as if he’s at the Oscars, accepting an award. Grinning, you laugh alongside the others. “And as the winners, we’re deciding on Salvadoran food for dinner!” 
“Are you sure there are Salvadoran restaurants nearby? I’d hate for the food to get cold,” As you finish, Wally and Barry stare at you blinking before staring at each other. “What?” You ask and Wally chuckles, leaning down and kisses the top of your head. 
“Babe, you’re asking the Flash and Kid Flash if a place is nearby.” He explains and you feel stupid, shaking your head. 
“Forgive me for being concerned,” Rolling his eyes, he sits next to you.
“(Y/n) loves Salvadoran food,” He explains. “I don’t think they’ve ever had some, so you’d have to give recommendations.” He tells you and your eyes widen. No way, what if you give them food they hate? “Baby, they love all foods.” 
“You say every time it’s my turn to pick dinner,” 
“And I’m always right,” He grins. “Right, guys?” He looks at his family, silently urging them to agree. 
“I’m sure we’ll love whatever you pick,” Mary nods. Sighing, you agree. Explaining various foods and drinks, they all pick their food and Barry says he’ll pick some up whenever Iris’s friends text back what they’d like to eat. In the meantime, Wally drags you up to his room. 
“See!” He basically cheers as he closes the door. “They love you!” Sitting on his bed, you nod and watch as he dances around his room. Doing his victory dance. 
“For once I was wrong,” You admit and he nods, still dancing around. “Your family is truly nice.” Scooting back in his bed, he closes the windows and the curtains before joining you. On his way to the bed, he grabs his old picture book. 
“Prepare to see the most amazing baby ever!” He grins, his twin-size mattress hardly big enough to hold the two of you. The two of you must’ve stared at pictures for an hour before he puts the book back and the two of you just lay in the bed. 
“Yknow something I always wanted to do?” He grins over at you. Looking away from your phone, you hum and look at him. “Make out in my childhood room.” He winks. 
“Sure,” You grin and climb on top of him. He giggles and you raise an eyebrow, your hands trailing along his jawline. 
“I’m excited,” He huffs, his hands finding their place at your hips. “Sue me.” 
Kissing him, you move your right arm down to the small of his back, pulling him closer to you. He hums and wraps his arms around your neck, mindlessly playing with the hair at the base of your neck. Feeling his nails drag along your scalp, you relax against him. Your left hand gently holds his jaw, keeping his head tilted high enough for you. Your lips mesh against each other, pressing and gliding with each turn of your heads. Eventually, his tongue slips past his lips and you let yours do the same. 
He sighs out of the kiss, staring at you with barely open eyes and a spit-covered grin before leaning back in. Biting your lower lip, Wally picks back up where the two of you left off. Whatever chapstick he had used is fading at this point but he can taste it on your lips, quickly deciding he’ll buy more of it before he loses it. Cupping his neck, you press his lower body deeper into the bed while he makes a move for your belt. 
Shifting his left leg higher, you start breaking the kiss, leaving slowly kisses trailing down his neck when the door swings open. 
“I was right!” Barry shouts, laughing at your expressions. “Come on, dinners ready and Iris’s friends are here.” He closes the door, still laughing as you and Wally fix yourself. 
“That part wasn’t on my bucket list,” He jokes, wiping your mouth of spit as you fix your shirt. 
“Your family knows we kiss,” You groan. “Your dad knows I’ve kissed you! In his house!” He’s going to try and kill you, get Barry to create a tornado, and deprive you of oxygen. 
“My dad knows I tried to have sex in his house!” He groans back. “We can still leave with our dignity.” 
“No,” You huff, kicking the air. “That would be worse. Let’s just go downstairs and act as though Barry never caught us.” It takes him a second but he agrees and the two of you start your walk of shame down to where the rest of his family are. 
“There’s the lovebirds!” Barry cheers when the two of you finally emerge.  Wally rolls his eyes while you stare at the carpet. It’s too late, you can never look any of them in the eyes again. “Sorry, I interrupted your little make-out session,” 
“Babe,” Iris scolds, putting her hand on his knee. He holds his hands up and Iris clears her throat. Wally guides you to a smaller couch than the one you sat on earlier and you finally look somewhere other than the carpet. “Mary this is my brother, Wally, and his boyfriend—“
“(Y/n)?” Mary finished for her. Looking over at Mary, she seems familiar but you can’t tell from where. 
“I apologize, but do I know you?” You ask and she frowns. Everyone looks between the two of you but her husband seems to have already placed it. He grabs her hand, giving her his silent support. 
“It’s me, Mary,” She says and you’re still no closer to knowing who she was. Her frown grows deeper when she figures that nothing is clicking for you. 
“Your sister.” 
“Oh,” You breathe. Wiping your hands on your pants, you lick your lips. 
“Where’ve you been all these years?” She asks, scooting closer to the edge of the couch. When you look at her, you hate how you don’t feel anything. There’s no connection with her, she’s just another stranger to you. 
“I don’t believe right now is the most appropriate place for this conversation,” You tell her with a tight smile. 
“We tried to get ahold of you for the funeral. Mom and Dad would’ve loved to see you—“
“No.” You tell her. Now it’s Wally’s turn to offer you moral support. “They wouldn’t have. If they didn’t want me in their life then they wouldn’t have wanted me in their death. As I've said before, now is hardly the time or place to be having this conversation. I believe you’re making the hosts uncomfortable.” 
“Can we talk outside?” She begs. “Please, I haven’t seen you in a decade. (N/n).” The name stings. It stings more than any injury you’ve ever gotten. The name sounds like nails on a chalkboard. It reminds you of everything you’ve lost, it reminds you that you’ll never be that child again. But maybe, she’s different. Mary might not be like your parents, she could love you again. 
“Fine.” You coincide. “Wallace will join us, though.” She nods, anything to get to talk to you. Wally is up before you are, guiding the three of you out to the backyard as his family awkwardly eats their food. 
“Why did you leave?” She asks once everyone is settled in the deck chairs his father had set out earlier in the day. 
“That’s far from the truth,” Shaking your head, you stare at the moon. “I was kicked out. They’d given up their rights to me, tried to get me sent to a wilderness camp.” 
“Mom never would’ve done that!” Mary’s eyes narrow and you huff, looking back at her. 
“Mary, what use is lying now? If I ran away wouldn’t they have looked for me? Reported me missing— tried to get me home?” It settles on her, how your mother and father only cried for you and prayed during church for you. But they never asked for you back. Her eyes lower, almost ashamed of her actions. 
“Where were you?” She reaches for your hand but you move it away on instinct. 
“A cabin in the woods. I lived there until recently,” 
“Your father,” Mary’s husband started after silence had fallen over the group. “He always told stories about you being possessed. A she-demon who took over your body,” 
“I guess he meant you being gay…” Mary trails before she sighs. “(N/n), I’m so sorry I didn’t help you. That I didn’t fight for you. I’ve missed your entire life, all because I believed our parents without question. But God has brought us back together, God is letting us be a family again.”
“I don’t believe in such a cruel man,” You tell her and she falters. “Your god and his cruel ways are what led to me being abandoned. It’s what led to me living in a broken-down cabin until I was found almost ten years later. Your god isn’t someone deserving of my love and my devotion. He’s never helped me,” You spit. “I helped myself. I found solace, I found joy, I found love. Look, Mary,” Wiping your face, you grab Wally’s hand, giving it squeezes to comfort yourself. 
“I will not tell you that you’re wrong for choosing that god, I will not tell you that your religion is cruel. I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times over. What I am telling you is that your god played no role in my life. I am here because I am meeting my boyfriend's family. I met Wallace because the woman who found me is friends with Barry’s friends. I am still alive no thanks to god, no thanks to your mother and father. If you wish to have some sort of relationship with me, you’ll need to understand that.” It was awkward, saying that in front of Wally’s family and all but clearly Mary wasn’t going to let the situation go. 
“I understand,” She nods, her hand rising to press against her cross. “I’m sure our other siblings would love to see you again. I know your birthday is coming up—“
“It is?” Wally gasps, effectively changing the whole conversation. “You’ve never told me your birthday!” The realization hits him like a truck and he gasps, clutching his chest. “Babe!” Mary stifles her laughter, watching the two of you. 
“I haven’t celebrated my birthday in years, Wallace,” 
“We’re celebrating!” He shakes his head. “I’m already planning the best surprise birthday for you,” He grins, leaning closer to you. 
“Please, look up the definition of a surprise.”
“My dad told me the same thing,” 
December arrives faster than you’d like. You know Wally and your sister have been texting about your surprise party. You’ve seen their messages— and the subsequent group chat with all of the people who are going. It’s Wally, his family, your sister, your family, Kimiyo and her kids. No one from the team, though. Wally understood well enough that you’d hate to have them there. They know next to nothing about your biological family and you’d hate to have them learn in that way. 
Sculk isn’t the happiest with this. She’s against the idea of you rekindling things with your family but you’ve explained that nothing is set in stone. You’re testing the waters, unable to let yourself get hurt like that again. 
“Happy birthday!” Wally cheers as you enter the training room. Everyone else is already there, starting their warm-ups. 
Thank you, Wallace,” Nodding towards him, you start your warm-up. He watches you, a stupid grin on his face because he doesn’t think you know his plans. He’s already created a great cover story. Barry and Kimiyo are going to call the two of you away for a mission. It’ll do two things, create a reason for you two to leave and ensure that the two of you aren’t called back for an emergency. 
Double win! 
“Happy birthday,” The others rush out and you thank them all the same. 
Around twelve, Wally tells you to put on something nice. He says nothing fancy, but not jeans either. Essentially, your version of comfortable wear. Surprisingly, he’s dressed up. 
He’s wearing a new shirt and pants, a black turtleneck, and a pair of brown plaid pants. Of course, he puts on his usual shoes. 
“Ehh!” He says, gesturing to his outfit. 
    “We could skip it and I could enjoy this outfit in my room,” You offer, slowly trailing your eyes over him. For a moment he genuinely considers it. His eyes flicker something almost desperate, yearning, but he shakes his head. 
“I have an amazing day, plus backups planned,” He tells you, smoothing out your collar. “We can do what you said when we come back, yeah?”
“If you can wait that long,” You chide. His eyebrows raise, seeing that as a challenge he is more than willing to accept. 
The two of you leave Mount Justice with help from Sculk. Appearing in the backseat of Barry’s car that’s parked outside of the venue Mary had rented out, he looks back at the two of you. You’ve spent more time with Barry and Iris since Thanksgiving, actually enjoying their company. Iris often invites you out for coffee on the weekends. 
“No getting freaky—“
“Shut up!” Wally groans, covering his ears before loudly repeating lalalalala. You just stare at him, unblinking. That’s the guy you’ve fallen for. 
“You ready?” Iris asks as she looks back towards you. “Because you can always leave.” Her hand reaches for her knee and Wally catches that for once, you don’t jerk away from the sudden touch. His eyes twinkle as he stares at you, even if you’re unaware of the shine in them. 
“I’m sure I’ll be prepared for most of the possible outcomes,” You reassure. 
Heading inside, you see faces with features that you see in yourself. You see your hair color, your eye shape, your skin tone. Your family. They’re all so foreign to you, you know their names and their relation to you but you don’t know them. They’re like an urban legend in your mind; except you’ve always figured the Moth Man was more real than you reuniting with Thomas again. 
“(Y/n),” He smiles at you, his height matching your own. Thomas was your twin growing up, he was born a week after you to your mother's brother. You’d been inseparable since birth. Damn near identical, too. 
“Thomas,” You greet him. “Wallace, this is my cousin. Thomas, this is my boyfriend, Wallace.” 
“Call me Wally,” He introduces himself with a handshake. “He’s a stickler for full names.” He smiles back at you and you smile back. Thomas laughs before patting your shoulder. 
“Glad to see that hasn’t changed! Come on, Pop is dying to see you again.”
And thus begins an hour of reuniting with family. Having Wally hear whatever stories they’ve retained over the years, small pieces of your childhood that Wally never thought he’d get to hear. 
“You had a stutter?” He whispers to you as the two of you look to find Mary. 
“Used to,” Humming, you spot Mary talking to her husband near the drinks table. “It stopped when I merged with Sculk.” Who, just for the record, is hating every second of this. She hates when they greet you, when they talk fondly of you. when they hug you. She hates the way they act as if you’ve been off to a different country to study and not cast out from their family entirely. 
She hates how the elephant is being ignored.  
You find it amusing how not only are you meeting your family, but so is Wally. Although, he’s much less nervous than you were. He’s chatting away, doing most of the speaking for you (bless him, honestly), and mingling enough for the two of you. 
“(Y/n)!” A woman smiles as she pulls you and Wally over. Removing your arm from her grip, she looks down at it but doesn’t vocalize her thoughts. “I was just telling Imani how you’ve grown into a strong young man.” She grins, beckoning her daughter over. Imani, who you remember through Thomas, is his neighbor. But they’re considered family by the older generations. 
“I remember him crying over a trapped mouse,” Imani grins, nudging her shoulder with yours. Rolling your eyes, you see Wally grin and lean his head on your shoulder. 
“You cried over a mouse?” Wally asks and you nod. 
“I had just read the Crime of Being Small poem. It was cruel to let the creature starve in the trap when I could simply release it. But my father never permitted me,” You explain. “It never stopped me though,” 
“What a hero,” Imani remarks, a lighthearted smile on her face as she watches her mother leave. It drops once she’s out of earshot. “I can’t believe you came back,” She frowns and you frown back. Was she not happy to see you? You understood you were never that close but, damn. “No offense, but you’re better off.” She quickly adds and guides you over to seats. 
“Before you went on that mountain trip, our parents were thinking of setting us up,” She explains, scratching her neck. “They started up that betrothal shit again; I’m actually engaged.” 
“We could help you get out,” Wally immediately offers and you nod. She sighs, wringing her hands together. 
“I don’t have my diploma… I don’t have anything,” She admits and Wally glances at you, urging you to take the lead. 
“Neither did I,” She looks at you as if she remembered that you’d been alone, without any documentation for years. “But I can set you up with someone; get a place to live while you get your GED and raise enough money to support yourself.”
“Really?” She breathes and you nod, offering a smile. 
“Give me your number or…” Thinking about it. “I could ask them to collect your belongings now and we can leave once the party is over.”
“That quick?”
“That quick.” 
Connections, connections, connections. That’s the name of the game, at least that’s what Kimiyo tells you. Getting into contact with Bruce was easy, he’d prepared a safe house in Central City until Imani picked a different one. Clark and Doctor Fate collected Imani’s things, setting them up in the safe house. 
All the while, you and Wally are hanging amongst everyone at the party, eating snacks and drinking fruit punch. Imani is nervous, having to excuse herself to the bathroom enough that her mother starts to worry. So, the two of you bring her into your group and talk until Mary says it’s time to sing Happy Birthday. 
You’re reluctant. But you can’t say no, it is your party. 
It’s a tower of a cake, covered in your favorite color with small white details. There are little emblems and when you look at them, you see Lady Whistledown. The gossiper in Bridgerton. 
Everyone sings Happy Birthday, recording videos with obnoxious flashlights and trying to get you to smile. 
The song ends and you’re handed the knife, everyone waiting for you to make the first cut. Hand the first slice to someone incredibly important to you. You know Mary wishes it was for her, she stands next to your other siblings, watching as you cut the slice and carefully plate it. Her hands almost reach for the plate instinctively, but you hand it to Wally. 
He doesn’t know the meaning of the plate. He doesn’t understand that you’re basically declaring your love for him. He doesn’t get why everyone is stunned when he’s handed the slice. But you smile at him and wipe frosting from the knife onto his nose. The same thing he’d done to you for your birthday. 
Barry takes over cutting the other slices, handing you the second slice so the two of you could sit in peace for a little bit. 
“Did you enjoy it?” Wally asks as the two of you make your way to the outside area. 
“More than I thought I would,” The cake is lovely. It tastes good but you’re sure Wally has incredible tastes for these sorts of things. “Thank you, Wallace.” 
It’s too early for an ‘I love you’, but both of you can feel the words lingering in the air. Your feelings are mutual, trying to outshine the other but you match his love in your own ways. 
To be loved is to be seen. To be loved is to be changed. To be loved is to be known. 
You love Wally. You love how he catches your moods, how he knows when you need a break, when you need a push. You love how you’ve slowly noticed his little quirks becoming your own. His eye rolls, his laugh, his gaze. You love how he knows your favorite color, your favorite flavor, and your favorite food. How he knows certain things would never be something you’d enjoy. 
Laying your head on his shoulder, you stare at his free hand. He’s since finished his cake, the empty plate left on the ledge next to him. 
Saying I love you feels right. Saying I love you would be like saying the sky is blue. Of course, it is, of course you do. But you’ve heard it’s too soon in the relationship. It’s too soon to feel that strongly about someone. But in truth, you think this is only the beginning. 
“How're you holding up?” Wally asks as he rushes over to you, watching your back as you fight against two of the zombie soldiers. He attacks the third zombie that had slipped behind you. 
“Good,” You huff, using Sculk’s powers to rip one of the zombie’s heads from its body. “I broke one of their jaws and used it as a shovel.” He makes a noise akin to that’s good and you hum. 
“Can you two focus?” Conner grunts, having five zombies on top of him. Flinging them off of him, you roll your eyes and pull the zombies to the center of the room. There’s about a dozen or so left and Dick had wanted to get some in to see what spell or curse they were under. It was a little difficult to knock out a zombie, they didn’t have a stream of consciousness or any sort of pain receptors. 
It was a matter of switching off their mobility, essentially paralyzing them. 
“Thanks, Ward,” Dick sighs, wiping his face of zombie flesh. Nodding, you check over Wally. He’s fine, talking to Artemis. His hair is messy and his black suit is working wonders for his body. Damn, runner's ass was a real thing. 
Snapping out of it, you clear your throat and head over to M’Gann and Zatanna, helping with the magic side of everything. 
“I want Ward and Miss Martian with me to dissect them,” Dick tells everyone as Zatanna binds them together. “Zatanna, could you make sure that nothing follows us back?” She nods and scans the area as you help M’Gann load up the zombies. It makes the jet smell horrid, surprise, dead things without ventilation smell horrible!
On the way home, you can’t help but stare at Wally. His black suit really is nice, but when he switches back to the yellow and red, you shift in your seat. 
“Zombies moving!” Conner shouts and you whip your head around, seeing the twelve zombies surrounded by a magical sort of aura. 
The Witches doing. Sculk sneers as she helps you put them back down. This time, she encases them in a magical prison. Cool, totally cool. 
“It’s Enchantress,” You tell them. “Someone needs to alert Batman that June has lost control of her.” Dick nods and calls his father. With Enchantress, you know you’re in for a long night of undoing spells and magical traps. So long that you’ll overuse Sculk’s magic and probably do something stupid. 
Dammit. 
Looking up from his phone, Wally gets up at the rapid knocks on his door. It opens and he smiles when he sees you, about to greet you before you start speaking. 
“I want you,” You tell Wally as you stand in front of his door, covered in sweat. He stares at you, confused. He hasn’t even known that you returned from the dissection room. 
“You have me…?” He trails, letting you in, and checks the hallway to see if anyone else is awake and in the hallway. It’s the middle of the night, he’d thought about going to sleep so it’s probably around two in the morning. 
“No, I want you sexually.” You groan as he closes his door, although you’ve come close more than a dozen times, nothing has gone past a couple of hickeys. “Ever since this—“ You gesture between the two of you. “I’ve been feeling weird shit. Horny shit. And fuck your suit? It’s really doing things to me, man!” You admit and he has to pause. Never has he heard you say any of those words before. 
“Are you okay?” He asks, putting his hand on your forehead. When he does, you start giggling and hold his hand in yours. 
“Yes— Sculk thinks I should mention I get weird when I overuse her powers— but I’ve been jacking it like a pre-teen for months to the idea of you. So, can we fuck? That sounds so rude.” You frown and drop his hand. “I’m willing to have sex if you are. Like so willing,” You rephrase your sentence. 
“Yes, please,” He laughs, already discarding his shirt as you grin and start to do the same. “Wait— are you sure you want this? I feel like this should wait until you’re clear-headed,” He says as he places a hand on your chest, keeping you away from him. 
“Ugh, you’re too nice. And sure, Sculk is about to knock me out, anyway,” In preparation you go to sit on his bed but your body gives out and you collapse. Wally even with his amazing sight can’t tell when your body changes from you to Sculk. Black and blue cover takes your body like moss on a tree and Sculk sits up. 
“This’ll be short,” She says, her voice like that of an audiobook for children. “Yes, he’s in a clear state of mind. Too clear, it’s basically anti-lying drugs when he overuses my powers. So, good luck. I will not be here for when you two…” She makes a face. “You know. I’ll be locked away, trust. That’s my son, I already hear his thoughts about you.” She gags at the mention and he doesn’t know if he should feel insulted. 
“Son?” He echos and she laughs. It makes him feel warm, like a child again. 
“I’ve raised the kid, that’s my son. He really likes you, by the way,” She smiles. “Thank you, for that. But I’ll kill you if need be.” And just like that, your body is back on his bed and he’s left trying to grasp with the knowledge he’s been bestowed.
With much encouragement from Wally, you agreed to hang out with the others for dinner. He thinks it’s the perfect time to have dinner with the team. With summer approaching again, he’s hoping for a weekend vacation with the team. You wanted to stay inside his room, perhaps continue your activities from the morning. But this was fine, too, you supposed. 
Everyone is in the kitchen, discussing what to get. 
“I’m tired of pizza,” Artemis says, immediately cutting Wally off when his lips press to make the P sound. “We should branch out for once! How about Salvadoran food?” Nodding in agreement, you can already picture what you’re going to eat. 
“My boyfriend loves Salvadoran food!” Wally beams, pulling you into a sideways hug. The others pause their conversation and look at the two of you. 
“Boyfriend?” Dick echos, looking between the two of you. “You’re his boyfriend?” He asks you. 
“I do enjoy Salvadoran food,” You nod. His eye nearly twitched, technically yes, that answered the question but it totally didn’t at the same time. 
“How long have you been dating?” M’Gann smiles, her arm wrapping around Conner’s shoulder. 
“One year and one month,” Wally happily tells them. “I’m surprised you haven’t noticed. (Y/n)’s been super touchy, it’s cute.” He grins before kissing your cheek. “And my lock screen is him.” As proof, he shows them the picture of you smiling with the sea glass next to your eye. Yours is a picture of you and Wally on a date to the local fair where he ate too many deep-fried Oreos. 
“They don’t notice me,” You shrug, just wanting to eat. “It isn’t surprising that they haven’t taken notice.” Frowning, Wally rubs your arm and looks at the others with an accusing glare. 
“That’s not true,” Klaudr shakes his head. “You’re a valuable teammate, we notice you.” The others nod but do not offer anything of value. 
“I don’t mind,” Shaking your head, you lean away from Wally. “I understand I am not the most approachable or the most… friendly person on this team. There’s no ill intent nor malice.” 
Before anyone can speak again, your phone buzzes and you see it’s a call from Doctor Light. 
“I am needed elsewhere,” Excusing yourself, you kiss the corner of Wally’s mouth. “Enjoy your dinner.” He nods and sees you off, but doesn’t return to the others for dinner. Instead, he makes a bowl of cereal and heads towards his room. Only, the elevator door won’t open. 
He tries every door and nothing works, he’s stuck in the common area until you or Zatanna returns to fix it. Great. He’ll just eat his food in the living room. 
The others don’t eat much before heading to the living room. 
“Wally,” Dick starts but Wally doesn’t listen. With his back to everyone, Wally lays down on one of the shorter couches, making sure no one could sit next to him or talk to him. For extra measure, he puts on your pair of headphones that he stashed in the living room and immediately, the sound around him drops to nothing but his own breathing. 
Dramatic, probably. But he would’ve thought that the team, his friends— supposedly your friends, were still excusing you. He’d straight up told Dick that he basically ignored you, surely he would’ve thought ‘Hmm, my teammate is being excluded, we should include him especially since he was alone since he was five until four years ago’ but no. He thinks it especially hurts because Dick is his best friend— his best friend can’t be bothered to take the time to be friends with his boyfriend. 
That shit really stings. 
He must’ve watched videos for three hours before he saw the mist of your powers roll over him. Pushing one of the headphones away from his ear, he looks back at you and smiles. You’re dropping your hero outfit on the ground, revealing your daily clothes and your tired expression. He catches the signs that you’ve overworked yourself and frowns. That mission must’ve been tough, but you’re not injured. 
“Aw, babe,” He draws out as he scoots back, offering space between him and the back of the couch. “Wanna cuddle?” The offer is met with a simple nod and he lets you crawl over him. He smiles as you lay in front of him, throwing one leg over his legs to pull him closer. 
“Thanks, ‘missed you,” You mumble, digging your head into his shirt. With barely open eyes, you stare at him. He can basically see the heart eyes you’re making and he smiles, tracing chemical bonds on your cheek. 
“I missed you, too,” He whispers, pulling the headphones off with his free hand. 
“Nah,” You laugh and his eyebrows raise. “I missed you so much more!” You tell him, running your fingers up and down his arm. 
“How much?” He asks, just to milk the situation. 
“Oh,” You sigh, eyes wide. “Like so much! Ugh, Kimiyo wouldn’t let me leave to come and see you!” He fake gasps and you nod, acting as if that was going to get her in trouble. 
“She didn’t?” Wally shakes his head. 
“She did, baby!” You whine, cupping his face. “I was so lonely and I kept thinking about you and me and you kissing, us having se— Sculk is telling me to shut up.” You laugh into his chin and he knows the party is over. “She says I’m gonna regret this when I wake up— oh, she’s making me fall asleep. Night,” Immediately, your head falls onto the pillow and your hands drop into your face. He fixes you, of course, laying on his back with you on top of him. 
When he flips onto his back he catches the others staring and stares back. 
“We’re sorry,” Dick speaks first, looking amongst the others. “We should’ve made more of an effort with (Y/n).” He nods, carefully fixing your hair. 
“Our normality and judgment blocked out any potential interactions,” Kaldur adds. “We understand that looking from the outside doesn’t provide the full story, especially regarding Ward.” 
“Who knew he was so cuddly,” Artemis adds, making Wally chuckle.
“I did,” He speaks softly despite knowing Canary’s screams won’t wake you up in that state. 
593 notes · View notes
sunflw3r · 8 months ago
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sungchan as your bf / headcanons
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idol!sungchan x non!idol male reader reader prns: he/him word count: 2k words fluff
sungchan as your boyfriend
content warnings: mentions of shirtless sungchan, i think that’s it but lmk</3
unedited</3
(masterlist)
a/n: so i just came back to tumblr after like a month and im getting back into writing!! i recently read the first part of @luvkyu ‘s sungchan oneshot and i fear my sungchan obsession is coming back so HERE have a fun gift
ps: in the little scenarios it fluctuates between a weird 2nd person + 3rd person limited so i hope that’s not confusing</3
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✦he’s sooooo soft
✦he puts on a really tough act but whenever you come in the room…
✦there are stars in his eyes
✦he LOVES showing you affection in public
✦is not at all afraid to show his soft side when you’re around
“y/n!!” sungchan happily squealed, the sight of you making his heart run at 100 miles per hour. “hi chan.” y/n smiled softly, sungchan wrapping his arms around y/n’s shoulders, a bright and lovesick smile on his face.
“have i told you today how much i love you?” sungchan asked, y/n pondering about the inquiry. “i don’t think so.” he replied, a tiny grin appearing on his lips as sungchan left a small kiss on y/n’s nose. “i love you so much baby.” he whispered, y/n pulling his closer. “i love you too chan.”
“bleh.” seunghan said, passing the couple who were currently embracing, sungchan unraveling one of his arms from y/n’s to flip off the younger. he returned to y/n, soft laughter coming from the two’s mouths as seunghan grumbled while walking through the living room of the dorm.
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✦loves kissing you
✦like if his lips are free they’re going to be somewhere on you, whether it’s your cheek or your neck
✦his favorite place to kiss though is the part right behind your ears
✦it feels super intimate for him
✦he can latch onto your body and bury his face in the crook of your neck and everything is okay
✦whenever he’s having a bad day, all of his worries fall away whenever he’s in your arms
“are you alright bubs?” y/n asked softly, sungchan wrapping his arms around m/n’s neck, placing his lips gently behind y/n’s left ear. sungchan felt y/n’s shoulder’s relax under his hands, detaching his soft lips from the delicate skin.
“better.” he whispered in reply, y/n smiling happily at the person in his arms. taking sungchan’s hands in his, y/n pressed a gentle kiss to the soft skin, sungchan’s breath slowing into a rhythmic pattern of comfort. “i’ll run you a bath and then you can tell me about your day?” y/n asked, sungchan nodding as a sigh escaped his mouth. “yes please.”
y/n’s gentle laughter filled the room as he pressed a light kiss to sungchan’s forehead, who moved his head so y/n’s lips trailed down his nose to meet his own. soft noises of sungchan’s happiness vibrated from his vocal chords and filled the room as their lips separated and touched again. y/n ruffled his hair, walking away backwards, his eyes locked with sungchan’s. “your bath wil be ready in a few minutes love.”
sungchan smiled, following after y/n with a smile on his face, his lips warm and heart fluttering with satisfaction as he saw your figure disappear into your bathroom.
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✦LOVES talking about his hobbies and job with you
✦he set a new personal record while doing his work out? expect to see a very happy (and sweaty) sungchan bursting through the door of your apartment speaking a mile a minute about the accomplishment while you simultaneously try your hardest to get him to go shower
✦did he finally ace a part of the choreography for riize’s new comeback? be prepared to see a very excited (but extremely sore and tired) sungchan coming home with a bright smile on his face, proceeding to spend the next 5 hours of your evening together showing you the now cleaned two 8-counts
✦after he would proceed to fall asleep, his face pressed against the couch cushions while you just stand their like 🧍
“babe! guess what i just did!” sungchan exclaimed, bursting through the front door of y/n’s apartment, a bright smile on his face, contrasting the sweat trickling down his forehead. “what did you do?” y/n smiled, looking up from his book to lock eyes with his boyfriend.
“i just finished cleaning that really stupid part in talk saxy! i’m free now!” he cheered, y/n standing up from the couch to envelop his boyfriend in a hug, attempting to avoid the sweat clinging to his body. “congrats bubs! i’m so happy for you.” he replied, sungchan’s triceps resting under his palms. “can i show you?” sungchan asked, y/n nodding happily. sungchan sprinted to move the table from the center of the living room, y/n sitting back down in his seat on the couch.
safe to say he spent the rest of the night showing you the same moves, only falling asleep curled up on the couch once y/n left to get a glass of water.
“let’s go to bed channie, you’re really tired.” y/n whispered, putting his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “no, i gotta show you it one more time! i reallyyyyyy got it.” he slurred, his head falling into y/n’s chest, soft breaths coming from his mouth.
“silly,” y/n muttered softly, struggling to get sungchan’s long limbs contained in his arms to take him to his bedroom, a bright, sleepy smile on sungchan’s face as y/n held him. “mmh, i love you.” sungchan mumbled, y/n pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “i love you too. but can you wake up enough so you can walk to the bedroom because i will die trying to carry you.”
sungchan chuckled softly, his half asleep voice music to y/n’s ears. “okay.” he groaned, pulling himself up before falling in y/n’s arms, feet shuffling along the floor with his partner until they made it to the bedroom, moving his hands along to the rhythm of talk saxy. “boom, did it again. babe, you’re so lucky to have such a talented boyfriend.”
y/n smiled, patting sungchan’s half asleep cheek as he laid the tall man across the comforter. “so lucky my love. now sleep.” “mmh, i love you.” sungchan replied, falling into slumber as y/n smiled at his hyper boyfriend.
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✦he’s very open with his group about you!
✦like someone will say something and sungchan will suddenly just say “oh wait y/n did this cute thing” or “that reminds me, me and y/n-“ and the rest of riize just stare at him
✦on the other hand, you’re very open about your relationship with sungchan to your friends
✦it was one of sungchan’s priorities when you started dating that if you wanted to be able to gush about him you could<3 it means the most to him that you can express your happiness even if he is a public figure
✦he never wants you to feel like his little secret! you mean the world to him and while he might not be telling the fans for your safety (the world is still too homophobic), he still makes sure you’re satisfied and heard in your relationship and he isn’t ignoring how you feel
✦if the fans ever did find out, whether it was by accident or on purpose, sungchan’s main priority would be you
✦fans start following you? he tells them off and stays by your side until they stop
✦if you ever feel upset about what they say, sungchan will take the time to comfort you, helping you in self care for the next few days until the comments stopped living in your mind
the group was taking a break after the hours of practice, shotaro talking about the hellish time he had trying to buy grocerys that week. sungchan drank happily from his boba (courtesy of y/n) before a thought returned to his mind about his recent date with his boyfriend.
“oh my god! when me and y/n went to the grocery store this week it took us like half an hour to check out! he was literally dying waiting in line at checkout for it to be our turn.” sungchan giggled softly, thinking off his boyfriend’s face while the other 6 stared at him blankly, sohee sighing. “that had nothing to do with the conversation but thanks for the information!” shotaro exclaimed, sungchan snapping out of his daze to stick his tongue out at his friend, the thought of you still on his mind.
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✦’i love you’s are very much an every single second of every single day thing for sungchan
✦he never worries about it losing it’s effect on you
✦if he loves you, you deserve to know it every minute you’re together!
✦it’s one of his core beliefs in your relationship and he sticks by it
✦whenever he has to leave for work before you wake up, he makes sure (or so you’ve heard) to press a soft kiss to your head before whispering how much he loves you and leaving the house
✦if he’s really rushing, he’ll leave a note on the nightstand for you to find when you wake up<33
channie<3
i love you<33
chan :(( i love you too!
okay bye bye i rllyyygotta go now but i justwanted to let you know :)
:((( CUTIEST
haha ty! :(
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✦he loves taking you on dates!
✦whether it’s a day at the beach or running a quick errand to the grocery store that ends in a picnic, he loves to spend time with you
✦his favorite type of date to have with you though are the cozy rest days you’ll have together in the country side on his days off
✦spending all day latched at the hip as you relax in the sun, running into the cold ocean in your underwear, and taking late nights all to yourselves is sungchan’s favorite way to unwind
✦one of his secret dreams for when you’re older is to buy a house out in the countryside with you and build your family together!
✦he wants nothing more than to love you for the rest of your lives and it’s the sweetest thing ever!!
“y/n, watch this!” sungchan said, y/n looking up from his sand castle to see sungchan jump into the air, making a heart above his head before he fell into the waves. laughter escaped from y/n’s mouth as he saw sungchan emerge from the ocean, a disgusted look on his face as he coughed heavily, scrunching up his nose before covering the skin with his right palm.
“ah i got saltwater up my nose.” he complained, y/n staring at his tan chest gleaming in the sunlight, his swim trunk hanging lowly to wear the dips of sungchan’s hips peeked above the fabric. “chan!” y/n called, sungchan meeting y/n’s eyes with a newfound smile. “hmm?” he replied, y/n giving him a heart with his hands in return. sungchan stumbled backwards holding his hands over his heart, falling back into the water.
“ack, my boyfriend is so adorable!” he cried, y/n laughing as sungchan was hit with a wave, causing his feet to kick up as he tried to stand. “help me y/n!” he asked, y/n running into the surf, only for him to fall down when he and sungchan collided over the sand bar.
“you were supposed to help me.” sungchan pouted, y/n pecking his salty lips. “oops.” he giggled, sungchan wrapping his arms around y/n’s waist, moving his head to bite his boyfriend’s cheek. “ahh!” y/n cried, sungchan pulling them out of the cold water and into the warm sun, his boyfriend’s bright smile making his heart flutter.
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✦in conclusion, one of sungchan’s most important thing in his personal life is you<3
✦he wants no one but you as his boyfriend, and would do anything to make sure you’re happy and satisfied with your relationship together
✦he’s so smitten for you and he wants the world to know! like yes, you are the light of his life! and you’re going to hear about it!
✦and at the end of the day, he knows you’re always there for him when he needs it
✦he’s so so so happy you found each other and is grateful everyday for your love<3
✦no one will EVER compare to you and he hopes you know that!
✦he’ll make sure you stay together forever at each other’s sides, living your life with eternal happiness and joy
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there’s SO much more i could put in here but i’m stopping for my mental stability
224 notes · View notes
amyrahrose · 10 months ago
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•Content warning: Adult-themed, sexual-theme, sexual content, unprotected sex (Wrap it up!) 18+ content.
⁖Author's notes: 18 and under, GET TA STEPPIN'! It's been a minute (not really, but still 😅) since I posted, Something short and to the point. Slightly proofread (so not too much on me! lol) No mentions of his name, but this is a Toji Oneshot. Hope you guys enjoy 😊✨
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“Ah look at you, crying over Daddy’s dick. You’re so pretty for me mama.” He groaned in you ear before peppering kisses all over you neck and face. 
“Daddy, please it’s too m-”
“Nuh uh, none of that. Take this dick just like the good little girl I know you are, you can handle it.” Further thrusting his dick deeper inside of you to prove his point. 
The way the tip of his dick reached inside of you, deliciously hitting your spot over and over again had the room spinning and stars dancing in your vision. 
“Shit, you’re squeezing the fuck outta me princess, this pussy is so good.” He moaned as he picked up your legs throwing them on his shoulders. The new position and his praising, had your walls clamping on him. 
“Oh there she is, she likes it when I talk to her like that huh?” Smirking wickedly as he continued his assault on your pussy.
“I wonder if she’ll like it when I do this?” He asked mockingly before taking his hand and pressing down hard on the lower part of your belly, and taking his thumb to rub figure 8’s on your swollen clit. 
“You feel me here baby?” Feel how Daddy’s dick is fucking this pussy, my pussy, up?” He asked breathless while staring deep into your eyes. 
The words were there, dancing on your tongue longing to come out, but couldn’t. Not with the way he continued delivering those deep, toe curling thrusts. Or the way he flicked, rubbed and pinched on your clit. And the sight of him above you, sweat slicked body, clenched muscles, swollen kissed lips licking and smirking down at you with a hunger in his eyes  made your pussy a super soaker. The man was sin himself. 
“Cum for me sweetheart, I want this pussy to let go for me.” He ordered. That’s all it took before you moaned his name loudly, eyes rolled to the back of your head as your orgasm took over you. 
“Shit just like that, good fucking girl.” He cooed. The squeezing of your walls around him drove him straight to his release as well.
“Fuck, take all of me baby, don’t waste a drop.” He moaned with his head thrown back as he released thick ropes of cum deep within you. 
Slowly he pulls out, watching as some of his cum drips out. Taking his index and pointer finger, he gathered his cum and pushed it back inside you before reaching your still sensitive clit, rubbing slow circles on it. Clenching around nothing and moaning at his actions, he looked up to you with a cocky smirk on his lips.
“Guess she wants more, huh princess?” 
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© 2024 Amyrahrose. Please do not translate, copy, plagiarize, or repost (sharing links is fine 🤎) without my permission. You will only find my entries/content on tumblr!
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psychicwavementality · 4 months ago
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🚨 🚨 ‼️ 🇨🇳🇭🇰 HK/CHINESE SUOPOST V2 PART 1 HAS LANDED!!
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EDIT NOV 11 2024: So with recent Niisato interview news that Suo was designed to be a cool Chinese character, I have officially lost all words. Take my post as my "I called it so hard because it was obvious from the start, but I sure do appreciate the extra confirmation" cheer.
I never thought it would see the light of day because this draft got deleted like, 2 times and running. But it's here. It's finally here.
Below the cut is another long and lengthy Suopost V2 about his inherent Chineseness and, may I now congratulate, even further Hong Kongness! Not only that, but now we have Endo Yamato also starting to show signs of diagnosable Chineseness, and because my CN friend and I are ridiculously tweaky when it comes to overanalyzing characters who show even a smidge of Chinese in their eyes—this post was born! Sadly, because I am slow as hell when it comes to writing, this post only contains 11,000 words discussing Suo Hayato. You'll need to wait for Part 2 if you want to see me Hallelujahpost and Chinkpost Endo Yamato... blame my stupid baka life.
Now feast your eyes upon me having to correct my own errors in analysis that turns out to reveal even more Chinese connotations 😭😭😭💪!! This is VERY VERY long and has genuine deep analysis regarding a lot of China/HK culture/like 8 seconds of politics and 15 minutes of history + the weight behind some symbolism in Suo's name + theories regarding Suo's arc + Suo's absolutely yappable connection to 儒家思想/Confucianism.
Later in Part 2, we'll talk about Endo Yamato's biblical symbolism + alchemical influence + his connections to Suo, and how I can jokingly chinkpost him lol. I'll also be uploading a Reddit version of this post onto r/WindBreakerManga either tomorrow or the day after because I have to re-format a lot of things.
So strap in for a long and potentially mind-exploding ride because this is what happened to me while researching/writing all this. BTW, feel free to spam live commentary at me using Tumblr's comment function or something because I'd love to hear your thoughts while reading this whole gigantanorstus assfuck of a post... I'm not okay. I think I went insane. Niisato needs to pay me USD 1,664,800 for a new heart because I think mine stopped beating multiple times during research.
Before we begin, I'd like to tell everyone who has read my previous Suo chinkpost (v1) to DISREGARD EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT SUO'S FLOWER BEING PLUM BLOSSOMS. You'd think I'd be devastated to find out I have to retcon an entire analysis because I picked out the wrong flower. You'd be expecting Suo to lose Chinese aurapoints. I shit you not: he auramaxxed HARDER. It's like opening a Pandora's Box; you learn about the real flower and then 5 trillion more connotations are thrown at you at Mach 20. It is more over than I thought possible when I wrote the traditionally symbolic Chinese boypreggers marriage room part. And one connection caused me to spiral into another, thus stretching this post's wordcount into unholy numbers 😭
Anyway.
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In Suopost v1, I thought these fuckass flowers [IMG 1] next to Suo were plum blossoms [IMG 2] and, ngl! They look plenty like them. But after I read this mind-blowing char analysis + theory document made by u/Snowy-kitten, my jaw fell as:
Oops, Suo's name means Chinese redbud [IMG 3], and if Sakura's flowers are sakura, then Suo's flowers should be redbuds. Damn, I got it wrong, time to rewrite my Suopost. Sorry for spreading misinformation gu—
...What are these flowers called in Chinese anyway?
why do i hear boss musicHOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THEY'RE CALLED 紫荊花. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH M
Taken directly from the wonderful and super informative document which I highly advise you to read to fully understand this post, especially if you have time:
Su (蘇) – sappanwood, a wood that can be made into medicine used to improve blood circulation, treat wounds, and alleviate pain. It also symbolizes revival, resurrection
O (枋) – sappanwood or a tough wooden plank that can be used for crafting, maybe symbolizing the bridge of communication between other characters?
Suo (蘇枋) – Sappanwood, a deciduous shrub of the legume family (ie a small shrub that loses all its leaves in winter), or Chinese redbud, symbolizing family harmony, can be used as treatment for fever (No wonder why Sakura recovered after Suo visited him)
Haya (隼) – Falcon, a symbol of nobility (high status + wealth) in Japan, also symbolizes bravery, power and vision, is an icon of pursuit and movement, heading toward success (Falcon in other cultures also symbolizes freedom, which might have something to do with Suo’s dream – the liberation of slaves)
To (飛) – Fly or Flight
Hayato (隼飛) – Flying Falcon
Analysis: Most likely the key to the success of Sakura or Bofurin’s rebirth, if Sakura became the leader of Bofurin, Suo would most likely be his right-hand, just like Hiiragi and Umemiya
- Although Chinese redbud symbolizes family harmony in Chinese culture, it also symbolizes betrayal/death due to betrayal in the Bible
- Unlike other characters, Suo’s name contains more than one species of tree, would this be a hint of him having more than one identity, hence the traitor theory?*
*I'll elaborate with my own understanding on the traitor theory expanded from the information I've gotten from u/Snowy-kitten's document. Please please pleaser read their theories and their analyses!! It's super super good and deserves so much credit and a lot of this post is built from it.
-
1. Suo and the 'Chinese Redbud'
Suo's name is extremely fucking insane if viewed from a cultural lens — specifically the symbolism of the 'Chinese redbud' as well as some themes of the 'sappanwood'.
If you're from HK you might already be freaking out with me when you saw those three Chinese characters: 紫荊花, AKA the Chinese name of Suo's second plant after the sappanwood. You might be thinking, User Psychiwavementality, is it truly joever as it is? Is there no coming barack from the HK suoposting? Have we found salvation? Is Suo from Hong Kong, better yet, the Wind Breaker version of Sun Yee On or 14K???
Unfortunately, I have to inform you: no. 🥲 Suo's flower is NOT the bauhinia, known as the '洋紫荊' yang zijing/bauhinia x blakeana/羊蹄甲屬 (yang ti jia shu) which happens to be the official flower of Hong Kong.
Suo's flower is the '紫荊花', or the zijing hua/cercis chinensis, which, in China, can be found in southwest Guangdong, southern Guangxi, and southeastern Yunnan the most. <- These could be places Suo hails from!
However, the Chinese redbud/ZJH and the Bauhinia/YZJ are often used interchangeably (and also incorrectly), causing confusion and mix-ups between both flowers, as HK's 'yang zijing' is sometimes shortened directly to 'zijing'.
Outside of WBK, this shortening is a topic of political discussion. For reference, there is debate around the could-be or could-not-be intentional omission of the 洋 (yang) character in Mainland China when referring to the yang zijing (making it simply zijing (hua) and not the YZJ) as well as how it affects HK.
There was discussion when the HK's Gov. omitted the 'yang' and referred to the YZJ as the 'zijing hua' in our Basic Law. If you want to get a gist of the discussion it feel free to Google Translate this image because mobile Tumblr only lets me embed 10 images and I need to use it sparingly lol.
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From Wikipedia:
洋紫荊作為香港法定代表花卉,在《香港特別行政區基本法》第一章第十條提述香港區旗及區徽時被稱作「紫荊花」,英文版則使用泛指羊蹄甲屬的「bauhinia」。然而「紫荊花」一名除在中國南方多泛指羊蹄甲屬外,也可以泛指紫荊亞科的其他花卉,甚至特指紫荊屬物種紫荊(Cercis chinensis)的花。紫荊與洋紫荊兩個物種的花朵外觀有顯著分別,但因中國大陸媒體多依照「紫荊花」一名來宣傳香港市花[註 3],引致部分中國大陸民眾誤以為香港市花為紫荊的花。
(Edited MTL):
As the legal representative flower of Hong Kong, Bauhinia is called "紫荊花 (ZJH)" when referring to the Hong Kong regional flag and regional emblem in Article 10 of Chapter 1 of the Basic Law of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region.
The English version uses "bauhinia" which generally refers to the genus Bauhinia. However, the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)", in addition to generally referring to the genus Cercis chinensis in southern China, can also generally refer to other flowers of the subfamily Bauhinia, and even specifically refers to the flowers of the genus Cercis chinensis.
There are significant differences in the appearance of the flowers of the two species, Cercis chinensis and Bauhinia x blakeana. However, because the mainland Chinese media mostly uses the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)" to promote the municipal flower of Hong Kong, some people in mainland China mistakenly believe that the municipal flower of Hong Kong is the 紫荊花 (ZJH).
(I'm not shitting you when I tell you even Google Translate didn't pick up on the nuances between yang zijing and zijing hua 😭😭 also the scientific names have me tripping so the MTL might be wrong yet I'm too blurry to correct it properly... if any native Chinese speaker wants to write a proper TL in the comments I allow you to help me!!)
2. What does this mean for Suo?
The Lack of '洋 (yang)':
(This part touches a little on HK/China/UK history and politics.)
Now that you know the difference between the 'yang zijing' and the 'zijing hua', let me explain some possible symbolism that Suo might carry by having the ZJH as his other plant and not the YZJ.
In Chinese, '洋' means 'foreign'. And yes, Suo likes foreign tea and cakes. Anyway, some people think that the omission of '洋’ is a way to be politically accurate as it may carry connotations of HK being colonized by the UK, and the Mainland Gov. is known to be against the colonization of Hong Kong, often being reluctant to admit that HK belonged to the UK in a brief period of history after signing an unequal treaty. The Mainland Gov. commonly asserts that HK has always been a part of China even during the colonial period, claiming that HK was rightfully returned to its roots on the 1st of July, 1997.
Hence, there is the omittance of 'yang/foreign' from 'yang zijing', whether unintentional or not, when referring to HK's flower, resulting in many current-gen Mainlanders referring to it as the ZJH, which if intentional, could be used as a way to linguistically minimize the alienation between HK and China.
Theories/Speculation as to why it was omitted:
There are multitudes of reasons why Nii Satoru could have chosen to use the ZJH instead of the YZJ in Suo's name.
On a practical level, one reason may be because Suo's name is intended to have double meanings—sappanwood and the Chinese redbud—to show that he has two sides to him, most likely being connections to Chinese culture. Nii Satoru might have been unable to use this two-sided symbolism if he used the YZJ instead, hence why he used the ZJH instead of the YZJ; furthermore, there is a cultural story that comes with the ZJH that could very well coincide and foreshadow Suo's arc which I will explain soon. I personally think this is the most likely reason.
Another practical reason is that Nii Satoru genuinely had no idea there was a difference between the YZJ and the ZJH and, if he ends up revealing that Suo is a born-and-raised in HK lad, he made an honest mistake while trying to hint at Suo being from Hong Kong.
Nii Satoru could also not want to be too 'on-the-nose' when hinting at Suo having correlations to HK, OR he wanted to imply that Suo was originally from China and immigrated to HK at a young age — or it could be hinting at his ancestors moving from China to HK, which was common back in the 'golden era of HK' spurred forward by its advancement in the film industry as well as budding business opportunities for being an international trading hub. Either way, it could have meant to be a nod towards Suo being from China and not Japan/HK etc.
On a theory/canon level, Suo could have intentionally chose this Japanese name for himself and intentionally omitted the '洋 (yang)'/'foreign' character. He could've done it because he dislikes its implications, that he's a stranger in a foreign land (Japan). Or he could be touchy about his identity as a 'foreigner' — what differentiates him from the Japanese? Hence why he dresses and expresses himself so Chinese-ly — or he could've done it to show that he's freeing himself of his roots — people who leave their OG culture behind often become walking time capsules of That Particular Period, and the loss of '洋 (yang)' could also imply he's losing his connections to Hong Kong/the triad. The latter ties in with my tiny theory that Suo's hair is short because he cut it as a way to symbolize him breaking away from his shixiong/shidi, yet his past still haunts him in the way his tassel earrings resemble long hair at times. (The flower meaning of ZJH is also very very in line with this latter theory. I will elaborate more in my next part about the meaning of the Chinese redbud/ZJH.)
Suo could also be omitting this character on purpose to reconnect with his Chinese side after immigrating to HK and then Japan, I suppose? This might be EXTREMELY controversial to show in HK/China if he shows bias towards one side's culture by stepping away from the other, and I don't see a way this can be written without stomping on one side's good graces + provoking political disgruntlement amongst HK/CN readers, so this is probably not going to be an option up for consideration (hopefully).
Furthermore, if Suo also shows favor of JP culture/claiming that he's JP over being HK/CN as his arc and that he's abandoning his past identity as a Chinese/HK person, I promise you that some CN readers might become unhappy as there are long-standing grudges between the Chinese and the Japanese from WW2 that are too long to elaborate here. If you're curious to learn about it, search up 'Nanjing Massacre' and 'Unit 731' to see for yourself — please heed a TW for extreme brutality and inhumane torture.
OK, this is the last of all things political, but I promise the historical part will still continue. Let's move on.
3. The Meaning and Stories Behind the Zijing Hua/Chinese Redbud and The Yang Zijing/Bauhinia x blakeana
In Chinese culture, the Chinese redbud/zijing hua has a well-known cultural story behind it. It is deeply tied to the flower meaning of the Chinese redbud -- which has core symbolisms of familial reunion/love (親情) and brotherly harmony (兄弟和睦). And to any SuoSaku enjoyer's delight, they also symbolize steadfast love, passion, and affection; it is known to be a well-received gift for husbands and wives; it can even symbolize a strong and loyal friendship (if you're into that). The growth structure of a Chinese redbud, as said by a user in an online Chinese forum to whom I will graciously quote:
3、倔强坚强
紫荆花的花语为倔强坚强,紫荆花的花朵生长的十分紧凑,就算在阴雨天气,叶片被大风所吹动,不断摇慎态摆,也不会掉落,好似一位倔强的人,永远不会向困难低头,努力拼搏,最终收获成功。
(Edited MTL):
3. Stubborn and strong
The flower language of the zijing hua is stubbornness and strength. The flowers of the zijing hua grow very compactly. Even in rainy weather, the leaves are blown by strong winds and keep swaying cautiously, but they will not fall off. Just like a stubborn person, they will never bow their head to difficulties, work hard and exert oneself to the utmost, and ultimately achieve success.
It can also symbolize new beginnings, just like Sakura's sakura:
紫荊花的象徵意義 紫荊花象徵著愛情、美麗和純潔。 在中國傳統文化中,紫荊花還被視為春天的使者,寓意著新生命和新的希望。
(Edited MTL)
The symbolic meaning of zijing hua symbolises love, beauty and purity. In traditional Chinese culture, the zijing hua is also regarded as the messenger of spring, implying new life and new hope.
Moving on to English sources, I've basically learned that the Chinese redbud:
Is not resistant to winter frost, but is generally able to survive the cold. Suo's favorite season may be winter, but both the sappanwood and the Chinese redbud are not resistant to either the cold or frost, with the first losing all its leaves in winter and the second potentially dying to snow/frost (like most plants lol.) Despite being resistant to the rain and heat of spring and summer and being able to tolerate degrees under 38°C (remember Suo not breaking a sweat when training in the summer with Furin?), Chinese redbuds fall short when it comes to braving brutal winters, thriving best when the temperature is above 10°C.
They bloom during spring, around March-April. Could this be a parallel as to why Suo idolizes Ume, the 'plum blossom' that can bloom in the cold of winter? For being able to stay resilient and stand proudly/beautifully even amidst harsh and stressful conditions?
Has many parts can be utilized for traditional Chinese medicine, cooking, and decoration. The wood and the bark have been used to treat abscesses, bladder ailments, and head troubles. Treats bladder diseases, post-partum discharges, bleeding piles, and internal parasites; its flowers are used for relieving rheumatic muscles and joint pain. Even the flowers can be eaten raw or pickled, containing vitamin C with a fresh and acidic taste. The bark of young shoots can be used to weave baskets, as the wood of Cercis species is generally of good quality. -> Suo's plants can both weave baskets and act as good wood...
Is also known for its ornamental purposes, and has a neighboring family tree—the Cercis siliquastrum, known as the 'Judas Tree', which is a symbol of betrayal. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus and committed suicide by hanging himself from a redbud tree. Additionally, I was told by my friend that u/Snowy-kitten realized the kanji for Suo's name is is 蘇枋(すおう), but the tree he represents is Chinese redbud (花蘇芳/ハナズオウ/hanazuou in Japanese). 蘇枋 and 蘇芳 are pronounced the same and one of the hanakotoba (flower language) of 花蘇芳 is apparently death by betrayal.
While the Chinese redbud/ZJH is known for these traits, the YZJ is a little bit different; it was difficult to find meanings and symbolism for the Bauhinia x blakeana due to it being a lesser-known flower + a sterile hybrid flower.
Locally, the leaves of the YZJ are considered "clever leaves" and a symbol of wisdom; sometimes harvested to be dried into bookmarks to bring good luck in studies.
The Bauhinia x blakeana is a hybrid between the Bauhinia purpurea and then Bauhinia variegata. But I could not find anything about the symbolism of the Bauhinia purpurea... I looked at some other ones in the Bauhinia genus, though.
From what I found, the genus has flowers that typically represent new beginnings (is he twinning Sakura?), feminine beauty (he's still ♂ fertile ♂ like that), grace, elegance, and nobility.
Bauhinia kappleri:
Historically, it has been seen as a symbol of unity due to its bilobed leaves resembling joined hands. This symbolism was especially prominent in cultures that valued harmony and cohesiveness. [...] Pink Bauhinia represents grace, unity, and resilience. Its delicate yet sturdy appearance communicates a balance of beauty and strength. [...] In Chinese culture, for instance, it symbolizes renewal and new beginnings [...] Meanwhile, in Western contexts, it often represents appreciation and noble elegance.
Bauhinia acuminata:
The Bauhinia acuminata's striking appearance symbolizes beauty, elegance, and grace. It is often associated with the ideals of feminine beauty and charm. In some cultures, these blossoms are seen as symbols of new beginnings and growth, making them popular choices for weddings and other celebrations.
Bauhinia variegata:
1. [...] the white orchid has held reverence throughout Chinese culture and stands as a symbol of nobility, beauty, and innocence.
2. The Orchid Tree holds symbolic meaning in several cultures. In India, it is associated with love, fertility, and prosperity, often featured in weddings and religious ceremonies. In Chinese culture, Bauhinia variegata is a symbol of beauty, grace, and the fleeting nature of life.
Bauhinia x blakeana in Chinese Sources:
在中國文化中,紫色常代表高貴與權力,而洋紫荊則代表了優雅和力量。 此外,洋紫荊還象徵著團結和繁榮,這也使它成為許多盛大活動的首選花卉。
(Edited MTL)
In Chinese culture, the color purple often represents nobility and power, while the yang zijing represents elegance and strength. In addition, the yang zijing symbolizes unity and prosperity, which makes it the flower of choice for many grand events.
I have a headache. 🤕 Am I just yapping or was this all preordained by Nii Satoru?
Do you still remember that Suo's earrings are made of coral? The very coral that symbolizes a lofty status, auspiciousness, nobility, power, and eternity? 🤕
It's all coming together...
The Story of Three Brothers and the Zijing Hua Tree/田真兄弟:
This story could very well be a direct hint towards Suo's future martial siblings + how his arc will end. I vaguely remember(?) studying this passage for DSE unseen 文言文s so I managed to find it again. I'll cross-reference and do a direct word-to-word translation. If you understand Chinese I recommend just reading the 文言文 because it has more of the OG meaning 💪
原文/Original:
京兆田真兄弟三人,共议分财。生资皆平均,唯堂前一株紫荆树,共议欲破三片。翌日就截之,其树即枯死,状如火然。真往见之,大愕,谓诸弟曰:“树本同株,闻将分斫,固憔悴,是人不如木也。” 因悲不自胜,不复解树。树应声荣茂,兄弟相感,遂和睦如初。
註釋/Glossary
(1)京兆:京城地區。
(2)生資:生活資料。
(3)皆:都。
(4)唯:只有。
(5)破:使之破為。
(6)就:開始。
(7)即:立即;立刻。
(8)狀:形狀;狀態。
(9)然:通假字,同“燃”,燃燒。
(10)翌日:第二天
(11)愕:驚訝。
(12)諸:眾;
(13)斫(zhuó):砍。
(14)勝:承受;控制。
(15)憔悴:枯死。
(16)故:所以。
(17)解:分解。
(18)其:他家的。
(19) 堂:門。
(20)株:棵。
(21)遂:於是。
句子翻譯/Sentence TLs:
1、翌日就截之:第二天就準備截斷它。
2、狀如火然:形狀像被火燃燒過一樣。
3、樹木同株,聞將分斫,故憔悴,是人不如木也:樹本來是同根的,聽到要砍斷分開,所以枯死了,我們人都不如樹木。
4、樹應聲榮茂:紫荊樹聽到(田真的)話後(立刻)枝葉繁茂(了起來)。
My attempt at an English TL:
In the capital city [Beijing], the three Tianzhen brothers divided their property. All other assets [means of living] had already been evenly divided; all except the Chinese redbud tree/zijing tree in front of the door. They discussed and agreed to split the tree into three pieces each. The next day, they prepared to cut the tree down, but the tree immediately withered to death, as if it had been torched by a flame. The oldest brother looked at the sight and was extremely stunned, saying to his younger brothers: "This tree is originally from the same root. It heard it was going to be separated after it was felled, and thus, it withered. We, as humans, were no match for/couldn't live up to even a tree."
Because they were unable to bear with/contain their remorse, the brothers decided not to cut the tree. When the Chinese redbud/zijing tree heard the eldest brother's words, it immediately sprouted flowers once more. The Tianzhen brothers were astonished and emotional and thus returned to their harmonious relationship from the beginning.
From this, I'm heavily inclined to believe that:
Suo is one of three brothers/martial siblings.
Suo left/they left Suo due to family issues or family inheritance trials.
Suo's arc will end well, with all brothers reaching an understanding and becoming friendly again.
OR, Suo is the Chinese redbuds/zijing tree in this scenario.
Suo might end up facing Endo because the passage mentions 'as if it had been torched by a flame [状如火然]'. Endo's name is '棪堂' -> this also means something else which u/Snowy-kitten mentioned, it being 'a tree that bears edible red fruit' in Chinese, which contributes to Endo's biblestuff. But let's analyze it later in Endo's part.
Chinese can somewhat be considered playing Pictionary—if you separate the words from 「棪堂」 into three: 「木」、「炎」、「堂」, you could literally interpret this as, in 文言文/Classical Chinese, 「Tree/Wood」、「Flames Rising」、「Courtyard/Doorfront」
This coincides with the "Chinese redbud tree/ZJH" looking as if it "had been torched aflame" in front of the house/the courtyard/the door.
In conclusion, this might allude to Suo having to fight Endo, or Endo having to fight Suo to get him back due to a family feud—and Suo might get heavily injured. His martial brothers might realize the impact of their actions and finally retreat and make up.
Suo and Sappanwood:
Sappanwood can make a type of valuable red dye named brazilin.
The character of 'Su' (蘇) in JP also means resurrection, reviving, resuscitation, and rehabilitation.
The red pigment found in the sappanwood tree (brazilin) has also been used to treat wounds and ward off infections, encouraging faster healing.
Sappanwood isn’t as favoured for extracting dyes as brazilwood, though—the discovery of brazilwood led to a boom in red pigments due to its greater concentration, whereas sappanwood was much less saturated in comparison.
This is pure yappanese but maybe Suo sees himself as inferior compared to his brothers...
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That's the color of the dye sappanwood creates and that is the color of Suo's eye and his coral earring. I don't need to say anything more, right?
4. FALCON KICK 𓅃𓅃 FALCON PUNCH 𓅃𓅃
Rejoice!! We have made it to the next section of Suo's name at last!! I never thought I'd get here!!!! LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK (it's not quick).
Again, from the document that u/Snowy-kitten wrote, "隼" means 'falcon' and "飛" means 'fly/flight', spelling out "隼飛" lit. 'flying falcon'.
Reviewing the Symbolism Blargh Off This Page: (OG text has been slightly edited)
"The falcon represents vision, freedom, and victory. Hence, it also connotes salvation to those who are in bondage whether moral, emotional, or spiritual." <- I find it very interesting that many of Suo's symbolisms tie back to things relating to a new beginning/healing: salvation, revitalization, resurrection, a new hope, etc., which falls in line with his dream: the liberation of slaves. And look, I know this possibly means Suo breaking free of whatever chains down his heart, but ACTUALLY Suo will be stuck in 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 bondage and then be saved by EndoSaku. Trust me y'all I'm Nii Satoru's right-hand man
"In Christian symbolism, the wild falcon represents the unconverted, materialistic soul and its sinful thoughts and deeds. The tamed bird symbolizes the Christian convert pursuing his lofty thoughts, hopes, and aspirations with courage." <- I don't think Suo is wild or tame or Christian in particular, but you could take it as current-Suo suppressing and masking his true identity/emotions. And that actually makes sense when you remember how Suo nearly went Insanity.PNG during KEEL Arc and Sakura had to stop him from continuing to pummel a guy when he was down; when Sakura admitted he was pissed at himself and turned away Suo thought 'I really am no match for you'. On one hand, this could be explained extremely well if we view it from a Confucian + Suo's theory of adulthood lens which will be talked about later in Part 6. However, this could also symbolize Suo being bound in emotional chains and having... wtf, 'sinful thoughts'? That he's suppressing?? Maybe that's why he doesn't use his phone around people coz there's a bunch of 料 (blackmail) in there 🤣. And when Suo gets his arc I suppose he gets 'tamed' and is finally free to pursue his aspirations with courage (being with Furin and supporting Sakura), which will effectively act as another new beginning/his healing—further tying into his whole shtick surrounding resurrection revitalization healing salvation blah blah blah. (POV: the 'Suo has no Christian allusions' part comes to bite me back in the ass via. Taiping Rebellion parallels where an ethnically Han Chinese mf in Suo's triad or Noroshi proclaims to be "Endo's brother-in-christ" slash the brother of the WBK Jesus Christ. And then I kill myself)
"In Egyptian hieroglyphs, the falcon glyph was used in words and phrases such as 'god', 'pharaoh', 'greatness', 'year', 'sovereign', 'star', 'hour', 'prayer', 'land', and 'world'. It was associated with the deity of the sky, of kingship, and of the sun, Horus [...] In early dynasties, the king’s ascension was known as the “Flight of the Falcon”." <- Aha! AHA! YEAH MORE NOBILITY HOURS AND A DIRECT REFERENCE TO THE DEFINITION OF HAYATO. Okay. So. This is highly unlikely to happen but imagine Suo becomes the head of his triad branch. Or maybe this means that Suo is the heir to something lofty... deadass the fated ascension to big bad boss which he skedaddled from or was denied from, who knows?
"The Eye of Horus, the Egyptian symbol for the Sun, depicts a stylized falcon's eye and face markings. It signified royal power and protection from danger, evil, and ill health." <- More nobility/higher status allusions and illness-warding shit, typical Suo Hayato behavior.
"A human-headed falcon served as a symbol of the human soul on its flight from this world to the afterlife. Similarly, the crossed arms of Egyptian mummies were intended to symbolize the folded wings of a falcon at rest." <- And here we have more Suoshit related to afterlife-isms resurrection-isms and new beginnings-isms. Chat can I stop talking about Suo Hayato ... he's just a never-ending Pandora's 24-hour unboxing video...
"The sport of hunting with falcons was associated with nobility in Europe, Japan, and China, where falcons symbolized keen vision, boldness, and power." <- 'Takagari (鷹狩) is Japanese falconry, a sport of the noble class, and a symbol of their nobility, their status, and their warrior spirit.' - Wikipedia.
To continue with Wikipedia: In the 13th century, hawking became popular among the rising samurai class as well as among court nobles (kuge). At that time, the practice of hawking was a means of resolving struggles over land ownership among lords. <- This feels a little similar to the splitting of property mentioned in the Tianzhen brothers!
What's more interesting about falconry is that falcons typically wear 'falcon hoods' that blind them, which forces them to be calm.
The bird wears a hood, which is used in the manning process (acclimatizing to humans and the human world) and to keep the raptor in a calm state, both in the early part of its training and throughout its falconry career. Out of all the falconer's aids, the hood is the most important piece of equipment. There are various styles and types of hoods for raptors within falconry. The hood is handmade, often from kip leather or suitable kangaroo leather. —Wikipedia
Suo's eyepatch is made from leather as mentioned in his character sheet even though nowadays, a lot of eyepatches and most medical eyepatches are made with cloth and/or other adhesive materials.
What's more, a majority of traditional falconry gloves/gauntlets have tassels extremely close if not similar designs to the earrings Suo wears:
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Remember when Suo once mentioned that he had an 'ancient Chinese dragon spirit sealed away in his eye', hence the eyepatch? Maybe there's weight behind that joke because he might lose his composure if the eyepatch is taken away.
If Suo is a trained falcon belonging to his family—although he's 'flying' right now, either for a hunt or free roam—he's been educated in a way that eventually, he will always turn back and roost on the gloves of his master.
"The falcon was seen as the bird of Princes, the gyrfalcon the bird of Kings, and the eagle the bird of Emperors. [...] A falcon [would be released] at the funerals of Pharaohs. This illustrates the ancient view of raptors as intermediaries between the divine and eternal heavens and the mortal earth." <- The 'bird of Princes' part really makes me want to believe Suo is truly in a high-ranking and potentially triad-inheriting position of power; he could really be a 'prince' of sorts for his gang... The O (枋) in Suo can stand for a 'sturdy plank', and even 'raft/boat', which might symbolize him being a bridge of connection between the 'divine and eternal heavens' (his triad/family/whatever dude) and the 'mortal earth' (Furin).
"Furthermore, falcons are represented by the constellation Aquila [lit meaning eagle], as are all raptors. This constellation is said to confer the qualities of boldness, ambition, courage, liberty, generosity, penetrating vision, and a noble spirit, along with a gift for martial arts and the fabrication of weapons.
"This contrasts with a vulnerability to and enmity toward reptiles and their symbolic qualities of deceitfulness, underhandedness (venom), vindictiveness, and baseness of spirit.
[OP's Quick Interjection: from the source some mf added a little 'that aint falco' after the following part and I gotta agree. But also, falcons and eagles are both under raptors as birds of prey, and from what I've seen, Suo is the only known person in WBK so far to have a bird of prey in his name, so I'll still keep this here as food for thought—as well as a theory I have for later.]
"Reflecting this opposition, the battling eagle and serpent has been a motif from ancient times, common to Western, Eastern and New World civilizations. See classical Roman statuary, the ancient coat of arms of Mexico and the Garuda emblems of Indonesia, Thailand and Ulan Bator. The dichotomy can also be seen in the eagle and the rattlesnake competing to be symbols of the Revolutionary United States in the 18th century."
Right. So. I have a lot to say about this chunk. The first is the numerous stories of raptors, mainly eagles, and serpents/snakes, as well as my theory that the family Suo has been sworn into will feature new characters with birds of prey as their joining kanji.
I'll elaborate on the latter first because it's shorter: so far, out of all of the named and introduced people in WBK up till Rooftop Fight, not a single person except Suo contains the character of an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey.
The only person who comes remotely close to having birds as a symbol is Chika Takiishi and the full-page spread ft. his fight with Umemiya which u/Just_EveB theorized to be the karura, which originates from the Garuda in Hinduism (will also elaborate later). But even Chika doesn't have any bird radical in his name. Shishitoren isn't exempt from this; the gang known for people with animal radicals only contains land mammals and reptilians:
Tomoyama Choji (兎耳山 丁子) = rabbit
Togame Jo (十亀 条) = tortoise
Sako Kouta (佐狐 浩太) = fox
Arima Yukinari (有馬 雪成) = horse
Kanuma Minoru (鹿沼 稔) = ♫ Shikanokonokonokokoshitantan ♫
(There's also Inugami Teruomi who is a dog for "inu" but I CAN'T FIND HIS KANJI AND HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A WIKI PAGE??? FREE MY MAN!!!)
Even other characters who happen to have an animal in their name e.g. Hiiragi Toma (柊 登馬) (馬 -> horse) don't have an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey, and no one has the radical for bird (鳥).
Hence, I'm genuinely going to go out on a limb and say that the family Suo has sworn into—or his biological brothers or martial brothers or whatever fucked-up triad business he's in—will have characters containing '鳥' (bird) or one of the following in their names: 鷹、鵰、鳶、鵟、鷂、鴞、鵂鶹、魚鷹、鷲, which are respectively eagle, eagle but different*, kite, buteo, the birds that are under here, owl, collared owlet, osprey, and vulture. OR, if these family members have Chinese names instead of JP, it's plausible they have the same pinyin pronunciation as some of these.
*Btw, this is the difference between a 鷹 and a 鵰. Don't even ask me tbh
Next up, let's talk about the correlations between birds of prey and serpents. I did some scouring through the internet and dug up quite a lot of stuff.
Let's first establish that the only person so far who has been shown with serpent/snake imagery is none other than Endo Yamato himself.
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(And yes, I switched to desktop just to embed more images, I'm crying. Anyway, these panels are all taken from Chapters 144 and 145.)
The tattoo on Endo's neck, an infinity symbol, is derived from the ouroboros, a snake/serpent/dragon biting its own tail.
It symbolizes 'eternal cyclic renewal' or 'a cycle of life, death and rebirth'. Wow, so Suocore.
(BTW, in some religions... the ouroboros is also a fertility symbol. This just in: Suo, Sakura, and Endo are all ♂fertile♂)
I have so much more to say about Endo's tattoos but that's reserved for when I'm done with Suo Hayato... so let's go back to the topic of serpents and eagles and their tales.
Here's some prominent stuff I found:
Aesop's fable: This is the first example I managed to find. It's a story about how kindness will always be repaid. I honestly can't seem to think of a way this coincides with Suo/Suo's family/Endo etc. You can click on it to read the story yourself. Like, I think Endo's on a path to pseudo-redemption or at least 'potential future allies', and I can't see a reason why? He'd want to poison? Somebody?? Even 'figuratively'. Like, let's pretend my theory of Suo's family having birds of prey in their names is correct. Why would one of Suo's martial bros, or better yet the head honcho or something, swoop in to save this Countryman from Endoshittalk? But well, if anyone can think of anything, feel free to comment on it!!
Thus Spoke Zarathustra:
An eagle soared through the sky in wide circles, and on him there hung a serpent, not like prey but like a friend: for she kept herself wound around his neck. “These are my animals,” said Zarathustra and was happy in his heart. “The proudest animal under the sun and the wisest animal under the sun” […]
“That I might be wiser! That I might be wise through and through like my serpent! But there I ask the impossible: so I ask my pride that it always go along with my wisdom. And when my wisdom leaves me one day—alas, it loves to fly away—let my pride then fly with my folly.”
Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, “Zarathustra's Prologue,” translated by Walter Kaufmann.
This is something that also came up, yet this is a more different example compared to the beginning—instead of feuding, the eagle and snake are in harmony, representing the mind and body becoming one, as well as taken from u/__Can__ from the linked Reddit post detailing what they symbolize:
It represents the highest strivings/capacities in man (eagle) and the lowest and more earthly/instinctive faculties (serpent). They are not opposed to one another but are rather one. Just like the other metaphor Nietzsche used, the tree (thought as the self-actualizing man) that if it wants to grow towards heaven (the highest in man) has to have its roots deep beneath the earth in the dark and evil layers of the psyche so to speak. You have to integrate your obscure and evil side in order to become whole.
There's a lot of tree imagery that I'm not really familiar with but know exists in WBK... such as that time Sakura's branch was nearly snapped off by Endo. To me this feels more like a general 'concept' that can be written into the story rather than an important foreshadowing towards future arcs ... plus I haven't read the book so I can't commentate on the philosophies of Nietzsche, so far the only thing I know about him is that he is one of the philosophers outspoken on overcoming Nihilism... taken from a deleted Reddit user:
People who haven’t read or understood Nietzsche think he is a nihilist, which is a bit understandable as his thought is complex, and he was a devastating critic of both dominant and trendy movements/institutions and their values. I believe he once described himself as a maggot that goes into a wound to eat away at the decaying flesh to clean it out. He also described himself as philosophizing with a hammer. In many ways, he is one of the intellectual fathers of postmodern deconstructionism. Which can often border on the nihilistic, but Nietzsche wasn’t simply trying to tear everything we believed in down for its own sake, his intention was to make things better.
From a site (really good read about Nietzsche and Buddhism):
Nietzsche aimed to overcome nihilism by affirming the unconditional embrace of existence. For him, life was not to be denied but rather created by one’s own value system, and built on the foundation of understanding that there is no inherent meaning in the universe. Nishianti describes this process as “dying the great death in the abyss of nihility and coming back to life again” (1983, 233). In doing so, active nihilism becomes a transitional stage rather than an end in itself. It is the abyss into which we must descend, “the darkest night before the dawn” (Nietzsche, 1968, 12). It is through the experiential stages of active nihilism that an individual strives for the heights of the ideal being, the übersmench. He asserted that living by one’s own ‘noble morality’ is characterized as a vigorous, free, and joyful existence, ruled by an innate “will to overpower, and will to rule” (1968, 16). From his works, it is evident that Nietzsche detested the weak and humble man who sought to escape the realities of life.
I can somewhat link Nietzsche's theories on nihilism with the process of creating the Philosopher's Stone (nigredo, albedo, citrinitas, rubedo), which is suuuuper interesting because Endo has vaguely alchemic symbols tattooed onto him. But again I'm digressing.
Norse Mythology [1] and [2]: According to ancient Norse mythology, the World Tree Yggdrasil has an unnamed eagle at the top and a serpent/dragon named Nidhogg at the bottom, and beneath the eagle there is a hawk named Vedrfolnir, standing for '"storm pale", "wind bleached", or "wind-witherer". Between them, there is also a squirrel named Ratatoskr who carries messages between the eagle and Nidhogg.
From Wikipedia: In historical Viking society, 'níð'(nid) was a term for a social stigma, implying the loss of honor and the status of a villain. Thus, its name might refer to its role as a horrific monster in its action of chewing the corpses of the inhabitants of Náströnd: those guilty of murder, adultery, and oath-breaking.
It's faster to just attach images of me and my friend tweaking:
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I might one day do a separate post about Norsestuff and Furin because this is really interesting.
This entire Reddit comment section: Talks about the historical significance of the eagle and the snake in tales, depictions, etc. From u/Wayrin:
This symbol goes way way way back. There are depictions of eagles with snakes going back to Babylon and Elam around 3000 BCE. Of course the image was borrowed by everyone and the Egyptians saw it as Horus defeating Seth. Similarly Ahura Mazda was depicted as an eagle and Ahriman as a dragon. The Greeks borrowed the idea of the eagle as a symbol of resurrection from later Egyptian tradition and then it starts popping up everywhere. India, Indonesia, Rome and all over the Mediterranean. Most of these traditions use the Eagle to represent some great good. Usually a god related to the sun combating the forces of evil the snake. We believe the symbol to be borrowed and expanded (except for Mesoamerica) since they have so many commonalities. A lot of the stories have the Serpent winning over the Eagle before the Eagle triumphs. If you can access it, this is my source "Eagle and Serpent. A study in the Migration of Symbols." It was written in 1939 though so take it with a grain of salt.
And from u/tonycmyk, about ancient Mesopotamia:
[...] The snake/serpent has always represented the giving of knowledge to humans and the connection to earth. The eagle has always represented power over the earth and war. And this symbolism can be traced back through every ancient culture we know of and probably the ones we don’t. Powerful stuff.
Something not related to Suo: So about the Karura... the theorized demon JoJo stand that Chika has in the spread originated under 'Garuda' in Hinduism. You can read more about Garudas VS. Nagas here and the common point between Karuras and Garudas is that they're both depicted as people who feud constantly with dragons/serpents/snakes. In Hinduism, though, Nagas aren't depicted as evil like in Christianity. (And they're also a symbol of fertility... Endo's more ♂fertile♂ than Suo confirmed...)
5. Final Closing Notes on Suo
So, in summary, what do I think about Suo?
... What do I think about Suo... (crushing the chopsticks in my hand) I have multiple proposals as to what Suo is doing in Furin and what's going on with his family. And other Suostuff in general.
Falcon flying away: - To me, I see this as Suo leaving the family for a brief period, similar to how falconers can train their falcons to hunt but inevitably return to their owner. - If Suo's arc involves him cutting ties with his family, then this part could also symbolize Suo's desire to leave his original background behind in favor of Furin. - If the falcon symbolizes Suo's family as a whole, then this could represent the downfall of Suo's triad/noble family too, or that they're conducting some of their business elsewhere from their place of origin (*suspiciously Chinese ringtone starts to echo from my phone holder*)
u/Snowy-kitten's traitor Suo theory: Suo could be a spy in Furin. He could be scoping out the area for his own triad/gang/whatever. But what's most curious is the already-existing relevance between Endo and Suo that u/Snowy-kitten pointed out: Suo’s given name and Endo’s given name, Hayato and Yamato respectively are the names of two ancient Japanese tribes. [...] The Hayato is a tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed during the Nara period. The Yamato is another tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed alongside the Hayato. The Hayato frequently resisted the Yamato rule until the year 720 when the Hayato rebellion broke out. It was a rebellion of the Hayato against the Yamato. The rebellion ended in the year 721 with the Yamato being victorious. The interesting thing about the name 'Yamato' as u/Snowy-kitten also mentions is that its kanji (哉真斗) holds almost no meaning in JP. In Chinese, though, this can more or less translate to an expression, 'Ah, a real fight!' as '哉' in classical Chinese can be translated into an exclamation of sorts (「哉」可表示感嘆、疑問及反問語氣,相等於「啊」、「呢」、「嗎」), the '真' translates to 'real/true', and the '斗' (or 鬥 in trad) translates to 'fight'. So in the end, the Serpent VS. Eagle thing might happen in the form of Endo fighting Suo himself or Endo fighting one of Suo's family members.
Tsuge-chan and Suo: Remember this part?
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Yeah, so, wtf was that? Fun facts on Tsuge's name from u/Snowy-kitten again (thank you bro you're saving my life):
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I feel like Tsuge is going to be interlinked with Suo's backstory, that maybe he knows something more about Suo's 'family' than anyone in Furin should. Whether or not the XL river in Tsuge's name can be crossed with a bridge from another character's name or not... IDK we'll see if said bridge can be crossed when we get to it or burnt in favor of Suo lol... because Suo mentions bridge building in his character song gg
My final hard read on Suo's arc (take this with 2 mouthfuls of salt): - Suo will be called away briefly and leaves Furin either without notice or on short notice. He might leave behind enough clues to let Furin know why or where he's going. Or he might leave none at all, and Tsuge has to guess and explain what's most likely going on. - Endo might have to fight Suo in some way. Or he ends up fighting Suo's older martial siblings (the 'eagle') and triumphs over them. - If the oldest is truly the 'eagle', then there will be a younger one, the second-in-command, the 'hawk', like in Norse mythology. - I might come up with more stuff and I'll edit this into here as time comes.
6. I Lied
Suo isn't over. We still have to talk about how well he fulfills the shit we learnt in the HKDSE about our goat Johnny Hung's virtues/morals/principles.
So anyway, this is Johnny Hung our fucking GOAT!!!!!:
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AKA Confucius lmao. Sorry it's an inside joke
This man is the reason I had to memorize so much classical Chinese sayings and literature that eventually culminated into Knowledge for the Suopost. It was all built towards this moment :( Let's start with an explanation of 論仁、論孝、論君子 as well as 五倫/四端!
...User Pyschicwavementality, wtf is this?
(Stares at you with the most depressed, sick, and haunted eyes) Chinese lore.
I will sadly not be sane if I explained every single one of these sayings to you guys. (Mutters) I mean I did have to memorize all of them back in the day but I'd kms elaborating on all of them so. I'm just going to take the relevant ones that could tie into Suo's character.
Let me first establish: the core of Confucianism revolves around "仁、義、禮、智、信、恕、忠、孝、悌". The arguably quote unquote """""important""""" ones (to today's discussion and in What I Learnt in general anyway) would be 仁義禮智信 and also 孝, of which I will now try? My best? To explain?? Please forgive me I learned everything in Chinese and it's really hard to do an accurate translation/analysis without going deep into culture and history 😭
CLASSICAL CHINESE 101
仁:This is read as rén. It is like... altruism, betterment, and love, I guess? Rén is how you interact with people, it is the innate connection and bond and interaction between human beings. (人與人之間互相關懷,尤其以關愛自己的親人最為重要。) It is respect and love and doing good deeds and Kind deeds out of our inner Goodness in our hearts. It is born from our inner individual and it affects our actions and what we do. We aim to always be a 'jūnzǐ' (君子)in Confucianism, someone who embodies all of Confucianism as the "self-improving and good-hearted" individual. To be empathetic and the kindest/most altruistic and loving person to one and all; to treat everyone equally from our innate Goodness—that is more or less rén. In the ideal society of Confucianism, everyone practices rén. This would mean society would always be harmonious.
義:this is read is yì. It is morality, justice, and helping others when in need. It is doing what is right and according to rén.
禮:this is lǐ. It is respect, treating people with manners, following social rules under rén, showing filial piety to your parents and elders, etc.
智:this is zhì. It is the pursuit of knowledge, creation, innovation, and improvement. It is having the intelligence to separate right/wrong and good/evil.
信:this is read as xìn. It is to have faith and belief in our beliefs and pursuits and our governing body. It is also integrity, honesty, and truthfulness. Whether it be a person, an organization, a business, or a government, they must have integrity as their core value.
(Additional) 孝:this is read as xiào and is essentially filial piety. Confucius believed that respect and love towards our parents should not be seen as an 'obligation', but rather something inner from the heart. There are four 'levels' of xiào: 孝順、孝敬、孝養、孝承 (xiàoshùn, xiàojìng, xiàoyǎng, xiàochéng). This is super complicated to go through so if you're bored and have tons of free time on your hands, feel free to run this PDF through a translator to get a better idea on what xiào is.
To get an idea on xiào, Confucius said that, if our parents became old and we only send them food and money, this is no different from raising a dog or a horse (孝養). He says, "Without respect (敬), where is there a difference?". When his disciples asked what we must do to respect (敬) our parents, he answered "We must not turn our backs on them [or more specifically, do not turn our backs on lǐ (etiquette)]. We serve them according to etiquette while alive; bury and commemorate according to etiquette after death."
But anyway, in turn, parents must also treat their children with all the above-mentioned virtues and said parents need to respect their parents with the same attitude as well. In theory, this goes both ways.
There's also Mencius' beliefs branched from Confucius' teachings (still part of Confucianism):
惻隱之心:read as 'cèyǐn zhī xīn'. This is your innate ability to feel compassion and empathy. Some people always see the "evil" around them and fail to see the goodness inside people and thus choose to be "evil" in turn. Mencius, one of Confucius' disciples, believed everyone was born kind and carried compassion. For those who are unfortunate, people will sympathize with them out of their own kindness; for those who are weak, people will have compassion for them and reach out to help them. He believed that people should never abandon their inner kindness, as kind people will always be rewarded by the kindness of others.
是非之心:read as 'shìfēi zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to differentiate right and wrong actions as well as morally incorrect/correct decisions others make and reflect on them to judge why it is wrong and what not to do.
羞惡之心:read as 'xiūwù zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel shame and guilt for making mistakes or doing things that are not following lǐyí (禮儀). It is also feeling scorn/disgust for others who do not follow lǐyí (禮儀).
辭讓之心:read as 'círàng zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel thankful when others do something kind towards you, and you will feel like you need to pay it forward. It is giving others opportunities in exchange of your own and taking a step back to put others in mind first.
There's also the concept of inter-relationship hierarchy from the foundations of filial piety, which stipulates the order of respect should go from 君臣、父子、夫婦、兄弟、朋友 -> Lord/Emperor & Gov., Father-Son, Husband-Wife, Brothers, and Friends
Additional aid via. translations of my super helpful diagrams I made ages and ages ago about how to differentiate 仁義禮智:
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(2) Analogy: POV you are in Ancient China and you see an elderly man killing a random guy
(3) Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for the guy being killed. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the elderly man killing the guy is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that the elderly man is killing the guy.
(4) Because in Ancient China, the lǐ [social rules] is to respect your elders [filial piety], but because the elderly man is doing something not in accordance with lǐ and yì (禮儀) [social rules and justice], you will do what is right (the lǐ action) and stop the elderly man from getting killed.
(5) Think: your choice to act and do correctly and the correct act itself is yì; your heart's inner compassion is rén; your ability to tell if the situation is in accordance with lǐyí (禮儀) or not is zhì; and the environmental/social rules = lǐ, e.g. respecting your elders. When you do actions that are not fulfilling yì, you feel guilty because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù). Rén is inner moral/virtue requirements [to be a 君子 jūnzǐ),whereas yì is your outward action.
(6) Oh, and don't forget: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.
(7) Adding on to the last sentence in (5), 'rén' is not a requirement; it is inner 'love' exuded from the heart. If you are forced or required to do so, that is not 'rén', that is 'duty'.
So how does this all tie into Suo Hayato?
(Shakes my fist full of documents) so this is where I start CRAZYMAXXING.
If you also lovehate this man you might have already made some connections between Suo and the above few values I've described. Otherwise let me elaborate: when dear old Niisato made Suo to be the most stereotypically Chinese lad ever, he also managed to include a shitton upstanding moral traits that a jūnzǐ (君子) would have, essentially making Suo an amazing representation of core Confucian beliefs (so far as of writing this post in my theory state of mind).
When Suo talks about 'growing up' or taking the steps to adulthood, he mentions one of the most important core values being able to make your imagination reality as well as empathy.
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You could actually simplify rén into putting yourself in another person's shoes to see/think/feel from their perspective, and one famous saying from Confucius is to wish no harm to come upon others that you do not wish to come upon you, which ties in with Kanuma mocking the fallen Shishitoren member and only starting to feel panicked once he realizes the same harm was going to happen to him. ("己所不欲,勿施於人。")
Suo also insinuates the ability to chase your goals and turn them from dreams into reality is another part of 'attaining adulthood'. You can boil this down to being able to fulfill what you say/living up to your claims/fulfilling your beliefs. Honesty and integrity also play a major role in Confucian beliefs. There are a few sayings under xìn '信‘ that Confucius said about this:
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5.1 A jūnzǐ (君子) must be mindful of what they say and do things swiftly/efficiently/quickly. 5.2 A jūnzǐ (君子) does not endorse a person just because he speaks favorably, nor does he reduce a man's worth just because he has a bad impression of him. 5.3 A jūnzǐ (君子) will feel shameful if he cannot go through with what he said he will do. 5.4 [Text Before Image] If one's name/renown is not righteous, his speech will not be reasonable; if one's speech is not reasonable, he will not be able to accomplish anything. If things are not accomplished, the law will not be able to reach into one's heart; if the law cannot reach people, the punishment will not be fair; if the punishment is unfair, the common people will be at a loss. [Text In Image] Therefore, leaders must be steadfast and reasonable in both what they do and what they say. When leaders speak, they must not be careless (read: 'whatever' energy) or rash.
^^ When you translate this, doesn't this essentially reflect Umemiya as a leader? Which also falls in line with Suo seeing Ume as his ideal 'picture' for adulthood and further aligning w/Suo's statement of 'making your imagination reality'?
It doesn't end here though...!!!
KEEL ARC! When Suo got PISSED as hell seeing his friends around him hurt, Sakura had to step in to stop Suo from losing composure in Chapter 50 | Extreme Emotions. Remember when I talked about explaining how this could be understood SO WELL from a Confucian lens in Part 4?
What Sakura said: 'I'm pissed as all hell at myself. I was talking big [I can 'em all on my own], and look what's happened. But getting pissed off isn't gonna help. We need to focus on what we have to do.'
(Pokes my finger at statement 5.3 and 5.4)
This ABSOLUTELY makes Suo's reaction called for ("I really am no match for you") because right now Sakura is embodying the core values of Confucianism better than Suo was moments prior. In that moment, Sakura was the one closer to being a jūnzǐ (君子). At that moment, Suo was the one who should've been learning and modeling after him.
Remember 羞惡之心 (xiūwù)? It is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.
Suo was disgusted/hateful at the KEEL member for hurting his friends. He may have reflected and felt shame when Sakura came up to stop him.
It's still not over though!
Suo has consistently shown contempt for those who are older than him yet do not practice the same values of 仁義禮智信! Another one of the major Suo moments:
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"Goodness... How self-centered. Even to the very end. To teach others, you need to engage with their feelings and support them to stand on their own two feet for the first time." — Suo Hayato on the most Confucian thing he could say at the moment
How self-centered:
顏淵問仁。子曰:「克己復禮為仁。一日克己復禮,天下歸仁焉。為仁由己,而由人乎哉?」 [1] 顏淵曰:「請問其目。」子曰:「非禮勿視,非禮勿聽,非禮勿言,非禮勿動。」 [2] 顏淵曰:「回雖不敏,請事斯語矣。」(《顏淵》第十二)
(HIGHLIGHTED = TRANSLATED BELOW; EDITED MTL)
[1] "Rén is to restrain one's selfish desires and to conduct oneself in an honorable manner. Once you have done this, all the people of the world will submit to your benevolence and virtue. The fulfillment of rén depends entirely on oneself. How could it depend on others?"
[2] "How do you practice rén?" "Do not look; listen; speak; or do things not in accordance with lǐ."
Already, gymnast-guy has violated the above.
To teach others [...]:
"與人交,推其長者,讳其短者,故能久也。"
"When interacting with people, you should pay attention to discovering and promoting others' strengths, rather than always pointing out other people's shortcomings." [MTL]
Confucius was known to be a very open and benevolent teacher. He did not require students to pay fees; he simply wanted your desire to learn. Suo's really open with teaching Nirei and he matches the teaching style of Johnny Hung really well <3 He's very positive and uplifting when it comes to Nirei. Personally, I also like to believe Suo also sees a younger or past version of himself in Nirei which adds more layers to his intrigue...
Scroll back up to the part where I had three Instagram stories explaining how 仁義禮智 linked with Mencius' additions if you forgot about it. You can re-read what I said regarding the example of seeing an old man killing someone.
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Then the gymnast guy talks about 'discipline', and Suo has a vision of his master, which he adds with: "'Discipline', 'training and passing down your teachings'... Okay! I've got a question, sensei! How are you supposed to act when you go barging into another person's home?"
(He's pissed.)
Rewording [2] from my Instagram Story Explanation: Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for Furin getting invaded and fighters/friends getting hurt. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the Noroshi invading Furin is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that Noroshi is invading Furin.
And once again, just like from KEEL: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì).
For someone older to be breaking 禮儀 (lǐyì) and speaking on how Suo's 'similar to him' and how he's having 'fun', this was The singularly most awful thing gymnast-guy could've done at the moment as someone Suo is meant to respect according to the age/skill hierarchy in Chinese culture. Not to mention the gymnast guy establishes himself indirectly as a 'teacher' in this scenario by using the phrase 'discipline'. It's even crazier when you realize that Confucianism explicitly believes that anyone can be a teacher to you because you do not know everything. There's literally a story about Confucius speaking with a 7-year-old who spoke so much facts that Confucius himself recognized the kid as a teacher. Suo taunting the guy asking what he could learn from the gymnast is NUTS.
Some other quotes that I think really match Suo's character:
子曰:「君子病無能焉,不病人之不己知也。」(《衞靈公》第十五)
“A jūnzǐ (君子) worries that he himself is incapable, and not that others do not understand him.”
子曰:「君子不重則不威;學則不固。主忠信。無友不如己者。過則勿憚改 。」(《學而》第一)
"If a jūnzǐ (君子) is not steadfast/solemn/decisive, he will not be dignified; and what he learns will not be stable. Maintain loyalty and integrity as your main principles. Do not make friends with people who have lower moral standing than you/who are not as good as you are, and do not be afraid to correct your mistakes."
Final Theory Pitch: "Death By Betrayal"
"Death By Betrayal" in Suo Hayato's name based on the symbolism of the Chinese redbud might make one immediately think of his master and his family. Perhaps Suo's teacher passed and Suo's embodying his master's teachings, or his family has backstabbed/been backstabbed. If we go down the route of Suo still being an active triad member, then this may talk about his triad being betrayed and Suo having to briefly live/train with his master under a new identity. If Suo's former martial siblings (whom he respects, by the way, literally so xiào) want to reform the group, Suo might force them to align with his current set of values (which are extremely similar to Furin too—to protect the common people) and avoid harming innocents.
From another point of view this can also symbolize the "death" of Suo Hayato's former character, where instead he was the one who turned his backs on his clan/family first. Either to learn from his master who may or may not be dead, or to escape his supposed triad ties.
There is another piece of classical literature that I can yap about: 《魚我所欲也》. Here's a quickest translation of it possible:
“魚,我所欲也,熊掌,亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼, 舍魚而取熊掌者也。生亦我所欲也,義亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼, 舍生而取義者也。
"Fish, I desire it; bear paw [rare and believed to have medicinal properties], I also desire it. If I cannot obtain both at once, then I will sacrifice the fish for the bear paw. Life, I desire it; yì [to do morally correct/upstanding/good things], I also desire it; if I cannot obtain two at once, then I will sacrifice my life for yì.
生亦我所欲,所欲有甚於生者,故不為苟得也; 死亦我所惡,所惡有甚於死者, 故患有所不辟也。 如使人之所欲莫甚於生,則凡可以得生者,何不用也 ? 使人之所惡莫甚於死者,則凡可以辟患者,何不為也 ?由是則生而有不用也,由是則可以辟患而有不為 也,是故所欲有甚於生者,所惡有甚於死者。非獨賢者有是心也,人皆有之,賢者能勿喪耳。
Life is something that I want, but there is something I want more than life [yì]! so I will not be greedy for immediate survival. Death is something I hate, but there is something I hate more than death [not fulfilling yì], so I will not avoid the evil that comes my way. If there is nothing that men love more than life, why do they not use whatever means they have to live? If there is nothing that men hate more than death, why do they not use any means of avoiding evil? By these means may we live, but some do not use them; and by these means may we avoid evil, but some are unwilling to do so.
Thus (it can be proved) that there are things that people want more than life, and there are things that people hate more than death. It is not only the 賢者 (virtuous man) that has this nature—all men have this innate nature, but the virtuous man can preserve and maintain it.
一簞食,一豆羹,得之則生,弗得則死 。
A serving of food, a bowl of soup; if you obtain it, you will live. If you do not obtain it, you will die.
嘑爾而與之,行道之人 弗受;蹴爾而與之,乞人不屑也;萬鍾則不辯禮義而受之。
Giving this to someone while mocking and hollering at them, normal people (people on the road) will not accept it because they feel disrespected; stepping on it before giving it to someone, a beggar would not accept it because it is unclean. The temptation (t/n: 萬鐘 is similar to 'bad temptations' or 'great benefits') for benefits: one will not differentiate whether or not it is aligned according to yì [etiquette/moral ethics] before obtaining it.
萬鍾於我何加焉?為宮室之美、妻妾之奉、所識窮乏者得我與?鄉為身死而不 受,今為宮室之美為之;鄉為身死而不受,今為妻妾之奉為之;鄉為 身死而不受,今為所識窮乏者得我而為之,是亦不可以已乎?此之謂 失其本心。"
What do these benefits have that can help me? For a beautiful house, many wives, and for the recognition and thanks from poor people? In the past, one would sacrifice their life before accepting these benefits; but now, for a beautiful house, many wives, and the recognition and thanks from poor people, they will accept temptation. Can we not stop this? This is the act of losing one’s trait [of sacrificing your life for the greater good]."
A summary of this thinking would be to "捨生取義", lit. 'sacrifice your life to obtain yì/the greater good'.
It is completely possible that Suo, when raised or sworn into the triad, was taught by his master (either in secret or after he briefly leaves) about the importance of 'upholding the ultimate good', which may have caused him to realize his triad—which may or may not prey on the weak—does not align with his moral worldviews any more.
To escape, Suo could've decided to fake his death or leave behind his old self and turn his back as betrayal, which ties into his 'noble' symbolism and 'flying falcon' name in Hayato.
But tbh, I'm inclined to believe Suo's master was on okay terms with the triad because he/she had long hair. Suo's hair, as I've stated elsewhere, could be short due to hair being used as a major symbolism device in WBK as a way to say he's tried to leave his past.
Yet some things may be unable to be broken away from so easily, and Suo, a trained falcon, might be unable to leave behind everything. He was likely loyal since a young age and unconsciously finds himself lingering on old sentiments. Maybe his earrings are gifts from his master. Maybe his eyepatch is from his triad/family.
Still, Suo being from a criminal family and having distaste for Noroshi/KEEL is really interesting because we can see that he doesn't enjoy it when people lack empathy or cause pain to others. You’d expect him to react more to Choji’s gang because of their “violence for violence’s sake” going against his whole empathy tangent, but Suo seems to hate it more when someone finds interest in violence for meaning’s sake or violence for profit’s sake. I think Suo understands Shishitoren is built off violence to become stronger (<- literally the WBK OST), and everyone in SSTR seems to mutually be okay with this in-fighting. There's also a big difference between Suo clashing with SSTR and the other: he hasn't forged as deep of a bond with Furin compared to vs. KEEL and vs. Noroshi, and the latter two have made active attempts at hurting Furin through morally corrupt means (beating Nagato up and taking over Furin for personal gain).
Suo could've developed this sort of morality to distance himself from his family, who may have gotten infamous/profited off similar methods. (<- and this is really funny because Confucius has ALSO said that a jūnzǐ (君子) should not accept wealth or escape poverty if it wasn't achieved through morally correct means. A jūnzǐ (君子) cannot turn his back on rén in the span of a meal, and this remains true even during hasty and urgent times + when one is poor/wandering/living in tough conditions.)
A possible timeline:
-Suo is born to a rich family, possibly wealthy through a criminal empire.
-Suo dislikes his family because of his morals (may not have happened), and his family may dislike him back because he is considered “weak” (could explain why he’s the one who offers to help Nirei or why empathy as an adult is so important to him). Or, he's a super loyal lapdog and hella admires his brothers. Maybe they're the only good guys in the triad. Maybe they're really bad and Suo's also really bad. Suo might have two wolves inside him... the Confucian morals vs. Organized crime persona
-Suo studies Chinese fighting techniques and philosophy with someone (possibly a figure outside his family)
-Suo's family and/or mentor is betrayed/Suo betrays them
-Suo has to escape and create a new identity fully based off of his Confucian learnings.
...
And with that, I've said almost everything I need to say on the topic of Suo Hayato.
It totally didn't take 10,000 words or anything.
What's up next in Part 2?
I'll be writing Endo's version of this post and include some Suo-Endo joint theories and/or notes. Things to look forward to include Endo, Christianity, and alchemy... And maybe I'll even start yapping about the 0.2472983% potential Daoist/Taoist influence Sakura has.
I'll be back in 1 business century!
(Bonus) out of context convos and quotes my friend and I have said during the process of writing this that may foreshadow Part 2 or something:
Me: Picture Endo being Chinese too but it's Mainlander vs HK [Suo] beef
Me: WHO'S THE TAIWANESE 😭😭😭 IS IT UME??? HE HAS PLUM BLOSSOMS
Nakama: Okay so (crackposting) it's choji because of TW's association with the sun
Me: What if it's Chiitan [Chika Takiishi] and we get the Mainland x TWnese "forbidden" romance...
Me: But anyway I find it devastating choji would say cao ni ma wo che ne and its not even ooc
Me: ...Shit now I can imagine endo with a strong beijinger accent
Nakama: ...yamato儿(er) endo儿(er)
Nakama: ....chiika儿(er) takiishi儿(er)
Nakama: ...sakuraur harukaur
Me: endo going BEJINGRR WELCOMES YOU
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"You not only ate, you devourered that like you were unaccountably peckish." —Nakama-kun 2024
Nakama: Waiting very politely for ur suopost to show up
Me: It might tonight, I'm typing like a keyboard warrior rn
Me: When u wake up it might be posted 😎
—A lie quoted from the 17th Aug 2024 at 3:57 PM GMT+8, a whopping one month and seven days ago.
"Y'know maybe suo's from oklahoma" —Me, delirious, 2024
The Suo Post's TLDR:
"WE NEED TO KILL HIM FOR BEING TOO CHINESE"
—User psychicwavementality after 1 month of crying in voice messages about Suo Hayato.
(Total word count: 11,781 words. Part One, scene!)
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porcelainmortal · 14 days ago
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2024 Fic Writing Roundup
This is so fun!! Thanks for the tags, @cha-melodius @firenati0n, @onthewaytosomewhere, and the open tag @caterpills.
Getting to this late because I wanted to wait until my final fic of the year went live. I posted fics every month except January, which I'm super proud of. I've posted 27 fics (86 if you count ficlets and drabbles separately) with a total word count of 218,348, which is INSANE to me!! Especially knowing how many unfinished WIPs curently live on my Drive (around 80k worth) 🫣 AND the fact that before joining this fandom, I hadn't written much in many, many years.
So let's dive in!
JANUARY
busy writing but no posting!
FEBRUARY
a valentine for Alex (rated E | 1,968 words) post-canon Valentine's Day smut with lots of feelings when the curtains call the time (rated E | 27,916 words) angsty college au exes-to-lovers (no, not that one) with a bit of a love triangle being enough (rated T | 551 words) post-canon conversation re: Alex's bisexuality and Henry's insecurity handy for a handyman (rated E | 6,329 words) handyman!Alex part 1 - Alex is working construction at Henry's brownstone; Henry panics when he sees Alex shirtless and wishes he would pound something aside from the carpet
MARCH
a brit in Brooklyn (rated E | 6,689 words) handyman!Alex part 2 - Alex and Henry go on their first real date, feelings move in it happened on a lake (rated E | 18,967 words) Alex is at the family lake house, Henry is renting the house across the cove; when David assists in a meet cute, sparks fly - but how can a vacation fling possibly last??
APRIL
falling in a 5+1 (rated E | 10,600 words) handyman!Alex part 3 - five times Alex is unsure how Henry feels about him, and one time he knows the song of alex & henry (rated T | 1,062 words) firstprince reads TSOA; lots of feelings ensue
MAY
why do you call me baby? (rated M | 3,625 words) Alex figures out he's bi, decides to sow his wild oats, and meets Henry, who swiftly ruins all his plans Vegas, Baby (rated M | 12,735 words) Alex and Henry meet in Vegas, get drunk, and get married! Small complication: Henry lives in London and doesn't even know Alex.
JUNE
move your body (rated E | 2,500 words) post-canon dancing and smut inspired by the song "Lube" by Adam Lambert (I blame the Discord server) Saturdays are for the boys (rated E | 1,813 words) more post-canon smut, posted as the fandom's 10,000th fic! find me here and speak to me (rated E | 13,131 words) Alex is happily married when he meets his soulmate Henry Friday, i'm in love (rated E | ficlets) a collection of ficlets from Ficlet Fridays - 23 in total posted between June and September.
JULY
perineyum (rated E | 2,500 words) Alex tricks Henry into trying a stupid wellness trend; the result is introspective rimming, outdoors edition
AUGUST
take my hand and let it spin (rated T | 1,000 words) a collection of drabbles - 10 in total - written for Tumblr prompts! right here, right now (rated E | 3,333 words) a night out dancing with a coworker/friend turns into a bisexual speed run and fun, playful smut the bartender and the blond (rated M | 9,999 words) slow burn romance
SEPTEMBER
i'm known for giving love away (rated E | 16,866 words) shy, sheltered Henry celebrates his 25th birthday with a visit to the strip club and best friend/wingman ever Pez buys him a lap dance with Alex Claremont-Diaz, part-time stripper and full-time law student cool for the summer (rated M | 1,500 words) drinking + teasing = relationship
OCTOBER
Freaktober (rated E | 14,475 words) my version of Kinktober with a Halloween twist! 20 smutty fics over 25 days. WHEW!! faith, trust, and pixie dust (rated M | 5,810 words) when Alex convinces his roommate Henry to dress in a couples' costume for the annual Okonjo Foundation Fundraising Gala, love confessions are inevitable
NOVEMBER
mad love. (rated E | 31,313) college au, exes-to-lovers angstfest with a happily ever after and a yummy topping of smut (including bottom Alex!) smutsgiving 2024 (rated E | 100 word drabble) a smutty drabble that's mostly feelings
DECEMBER
wrapped up in music & lyrics (rated M | 1,000 words) Spotify Wrapped drabbles, lots of angst and sadness, all canon-compliant, 10 in total what if we just fall? (rated E | 4,565 words) Alex and Henry are roommates who occasionally share a bed and apparently, feelings for each other... it's a smutfest, folks wrapped in red (rated M | 4,029 words) post-canon Christmas vignettes through the boys' first ten years together
A MASSIVE thank you to everyone who read, kudos'd commented, reblogged, etc. - all of that interaction kept me going. This year was hard and I only made it through bc of this fandom and all my new friends. ILY all. 💕
An open tag as always, but also tagging below the cut!!
@anincompletelist @blueeyedgrlwrites @cactusdragon517 @cricketnationrise @faketrex
@freyjaexplores @getmehighonmagic @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @iboatedhere @inexplicablymine
@kiwiana-writes @littlemisskittentoes @myheartalivewrites @nocoastposts @priincebutt
@rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse @stellarmeadow @tailsbeth-writes @thesleepyskipper
@theprinceandagcd @thighzp @whimsymanaged @wordsofhoneydew
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF YOU!! ✨
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sapphicromanoffxo · 6 months ago
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Hi. :)
What are your favorite wandanat fics?
Hello hello!
Damn, this got me checking my bookmarks on Ao3. I tried to pick my super faves which is harddd but there ya go!
Series:
The call of the void - still on going and the slow burn is slow burningggggg. You can burn the author @mikaila-m 😂🫡 (pls don't kill me)
Whatever It Takes - the fucking roller coaster of emotions that I went through here. ♾️/10
I Love You, Goodbye - THE ANGST IS ANGSTING HERE.
Set the Scene for Me - this is unfinished but it's so fucking gooooood.
promise me this; that you'll stand by me forever - ha ha. Good luck :)(
Moments that Make Up a Life - the CUTEST!!!
I Would Fight For You - this one only got 2 chaps. But Knight!Nat got me shaking. Plus everything that this author have written is perfect!!!
you can wrap your fingers around my thumb and hold me tight - I want what they have, your honor.
I'll make you beg for it - I know for sure this one has gotten me pregnant.
pieces from here and there - my heart melted on this one.
The Fallen One - haha good luck part 2
How to *not* fall for a superspy - this whole series altered my little brain.
One shots:
do freshly baked cookies count as an emergency? - this one is funny af
A Little Room to Sway - you will need an account in order to read this. But goddamn. I've rrad this soooooo many times. So good.
Give Me Your Hoodie and Fuck Me In It - all I can say is I want Nat to fuck me while wearing her hoodie too
spend the rest of your life with me? - THE FUCKING SWEETEST.
Even though I'm wifey... - akgssjmwosusiwiwbweyeiwndndi that's all.
shades of green - bottom nat & top Wanda? I'M DOWN BAD.
Beg So Sweetly - Natasha's edging game is crazy.
something new - nasty nasty nasty
I Missed You - hihihihi 🤭🤭
Jealousy - jealous wanda 🔝🔝🔝🔝
Strawberry Milkshakes - fluff and smut. Perfect combo
I wanna put moreeee esp on the one shots but I have to restrain myself lol. I can do more, I guess? You can also check my fic recs wandanat tag here on Tumblr. 😁
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wannabegwenstacy · 1 year ago
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Eden's Favorite Yunho Tumblr Fics
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updated: 08/07/2023
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Main A/N: check out the full ateez fic recs masterlist for some of the other members. warning i'm a baby atiny so its not super full yet and i currently have only some members posts created currently. will be updating with more fic recs periodically. :)
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⇣Below cut⇣
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dance for you (series) by @santheestallion
Genre: yunho x fem reader, dancer!au, rivals to lovers, smut, angst
Word count: 25k + 15k + 22.2k
Warnings: cheating (not yunho), slow burn, curse words, drug (weed) and alcohol usage, thigh riding, explicit sex scenes, hate sex, oral (male and female receiving), semi public sex, name calling, yeah i think that’s about it, brief mention of blood.
Summary: moving to a new city and auditioning for one of the most competitive dance troupes isn't easy, but when you meet the charismatic and talented dancer jeong yunho, your world gets a lot more interesting. (full summary can be found here)
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until the moon and stars fall by @cyberpxnk
Pairing: yunho x chubby!reader
Genre: nonidol! au, comfort/hurt, fluff, established relationship
Word count: 2.3k
Warnings/Tags: chubby!reader, no gendered terms for reader, a lil self indulgent, cussing, body/fat shaming, mentions of body image, bullying, minor kissing, maybe a lil cliche but bear w/ me
Summary: your bad day at work takes a turn for the worse but despite it all, jeong yunho never fails to be there for you.
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Panini by @smileysuh
Pairing: Mingi & Yunhoe x afab!Reader
Rating: 18+ explicit 
AUs/Tags: covid au, best friends to lovers, frat/uni au, etc.
Word count: 11.8k
Warnings: Covid, depressed/anxious Mingi, size kink, choking, sir kink, bdsm protocols, dumbification, sensory deprivation (hand over eyes), oral, dry humping, nipple kink/boob sucking, switch Mingi, hard/semi soft Dom Yunho, Dirty talk, some degradation in a good way, unprotected sex, Yunho has a sir kink, threesome, etc…
Summary: With covid stretching on for what feels like forever, and Mingi’s mood in rapid decline, you move into the two-bedroom apartment with your two best friends, where seemingly constant tinder notifications on everyone’s phones remind you constantly of how horribly single you all are
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summer nights by @honeyhotteoks
Pairings: yunho x reader
Genre: college non idol au; suggestive, smut, fluff, comedy
Word count: 8.5K
Note: 18+ content, minors DNI. // this fic is just pure self indulgence, but i'm kind of liking the cheeky college au yunho vibes, you can blame the new wonderwall photos
Warnings: best friend!yunho, fem!reader, quarantine and talk of early covid times, sexual frustration, big dick!yunho, oral (m receiving), fingering, semi rough sex, use of toys, light overstimulation, basically reader is pent up and struggling to get off and hot bestie yunho helps out. please let me know if I missed any.
Summary: he's your best friend and roommate, but during the heat of summer and the confinement of quarantine, you just can't seem to help yourselves.
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12 - j.yunho + lovemaking/against a wall (18+) by @hongism
Pairing: j.yunho x fem!reader
Rating: 18+ dni if minor
Tags: language, explicit smut, unprotected sex, impregnation kink, soft sex <3, praise, possessive undertones, slight size kink, slight manhandling, teasing, yn calls yunho a bitch but it’s in a cute way <3
Word count: 2.1k
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lririx · 4 months ago
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NSFW alphabet w/ Antonio if you can?.. 😇 (uhm. if any tumblr mutuals see this no you don’t)
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He cares for his darling quite alot so be prepared to receive great aftercare. There is always a bottle wine and alcohol on the bedside table for both of you to enjoy after.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Either his tongue or hands since he can make you scream with both.
And he just adores every inch of you he doesn't have a favorite body part. He loves all of you.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He loves to cum in you, in your mouth, on your stomach, on your back. Just everywhere.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
I don't think he has any secrets he's pretty much what you see though he would probably want to have public sex with The risk of you two being seen.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He did have some partners before coming to the Manor so He's pretty experienced.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He loves seeing you bounce up and down on top of him.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He's definitely more serious but he compliments you and whispers sweet nothings in your ear.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
I don't think I need to explain this one.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He's the intimate type. He always makes sure both of you have the best time. Plus he definitely puts on some music during it.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He has a pretty high sex drive but he doesn't like masturbating.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He would be into roleplay or anything that includes some sort of performance in it.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He mostly likes to do it in the bedroom but a change of pace is nice from time to time.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Just seeing you. This man is all over you so it's not a surprise.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He wouldn’t do anything that would make you feel like you’re less superior than him.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Loves giving you oral and He's really good at it.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
It depends on his mood. Some days he just want to take it slow and other days he will go so fast that your screams can be heard in the Manor.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He prefers to have longer and more intimate sex but he is OK with quickies aswell.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He's gambling addict and loves to take risks. It is no different in bed. Though he would always ask for your consent first.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He has pretty good stamina but nothing too crazy.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Does his hair count?
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Oh he's an absolute tease. If you're shy that just adds more to it but he just loves seeing the expression on your face.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He does moan and groan a bit but it's not super loud.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He sometimes does some sort of gamble where if he wins he can have his way with you in bed that night.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
8 inches. You can't tell me otherwise.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
It's pretty high. Even if both of you are tired you probably have a quickie.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
After he had his drink or is done smoking he will fall asleep in your arms pretty quickly.
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aftgficrec · 1 year ago
Note
ah I'm so excited you're open!!! thank you for the ridiculous amount of work you all do 🙏ok, this might be too specific but any fics with an alternate take on Andrew and Neil's post-trk reunion? Andrew gets out of easthaven early, Neil leaves the Nest later, AU's, etc.? i think it's a really interesting point in their dynamic, and I'm a sucker for sober Andrew realizing someone was watching his back for once
Feeling a bit like a Bernie Sanders’ meme – ‘I am once again asking myself why I spent so much time on an ask,’ 😅 but it's because this is such an iconic and beloved scene for our fandom. For a super fun ‘live’ first-time reader reaction to this high drama, check out ‘The King’s Men, Chapter 1 – Hello Foxhole, My Old Friend’ by @nickireadstfc here. -A
also see
Andrew's POV of throwing keys off roof here
‘Come and Save Me From It’ here (completed)
‘Learning To Feel (When You've Forgotten How)’ and the fandom meta posts here
‘pipedream’ here
‘reaching for the heights’ here
‘Lost boy’ and ‘[Un]broken’ here
‘I Know You From A Nightmare,’ ‘The Marks We Make,’ and ‘Draw Me Out, Mark Me In’ here
‘Marked’ and ‘Soulmates who can feel each other’s pain’ here
‘Of Stars and Stories’ here
‘What’s normal now?’ here
long previous recs with reunion mention
‘No More Fucks To Give’ here (updated)
‘The Sphynx and the Hare’ here (completed)
‘corvus, vulpes, lupus’ here
‘never fallen (from quite this high)’ here
‘Not a Pipe Dream’ here
‘everything and nothing begins with you’ here
Andrew gets sober, Neil stays at Evermore
‘Oh Raven,’ ‘Jailbird,’ and ‘Take to the Wing’ here
‘Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die)’ here 
 ‘Comeback’ here
you may also like
Christmas at Evermore here plus song rec ‘Far From Home (The Raven)’ here
Proust here plus ‘if you really love nothing’ here
Neil’s a hallucination here
Andreil meet in Easthaven here
‘just a slow body’ here
‘Will you be there when I come back?’ here
‘Here With You’ here (complete)
‘i'm here right now (just be here right now with me)’ here 
‘We're All Stories In The End’ here
‘Spirits In My Head’ here 
‘Fold me in your palms’ here
‘The Raven Prince’ here
‘Thanks, Matty’ here
‘Lullaby’ here
Random Rec - Andrew Minyard playlists round up here
Just a Pipe Dream by loveroulettes [Rated T, 2781 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange Summer 2021, Locked]
Andrew thought coming off drugs will get rid of all side-effects, so why is Neil still here? AKA the scene where Neil picks up the cigarette from the ground and smokes it, but from Andrew’s POV
tw: implied/referenced abuse
reckless/i like it by Willow_bird [Rated M, 27259 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2022]
One thing didn’t seem to have changed since getting off the drugs. One thing almost seemed to have gotten worse. ”The next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. Do you understand?” “If it means losing you, then no.” --- 5 times Andrew realized this something he had for Neil was, well, treacherous + 1 time he admitted (at least to himself) that he liked it
tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: kidnapping, tw: choking, tw: implied/referenced torture
In the rain by Lyndis [Rated G, 1147 Words, Complete, 2021]
Part 2 of Quick and Dirty, parts 3 and 15 here
Andrew is off his drugs for the first time in years. No one knows he is back from Easthaven and he just wants to see Neil.
Time Machine by Marquee [Rated G, 137 Words, Complete, 2023]
Part 4 of Aftg Poetry
Andrew wanting to kiss Neil on the roof, but he isn’t sure he should. But like a poem?? Yeah.
Tumblr Prompts by lipsstainedbloodred [Not Rated, Collection, 2018] 
Chapter 13: Page 12: What if Neil didn’t go with the monsters to pick up Andrew from Easthaven (Andreil) [T, 2434 Words] 
tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced sexual assault
his solace by orphan_account [Rated M, 2292 Words, Complete, 2016]
Andrew’s first thought of Neil Josten was ‘fake’. He was a boy who was clearly lying, clearly pretending to be something he wasn’t; or at least, something he didn’t want to be. Andrew’s next thought of Neil Josten was ‘dangerous’. He was too attractive for Andrew to ignore, whilst single-handedly being the biggest flight risk he’d ever met. Neil looked for exits everywhere he went, and Andrew hated him for it.
tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: violence
Silent Words by Jeni182 [Rated M, Collection, Complete, 2018]
Chapter 2: Colors [T] Andrew hates color. It’s part of the reason why he’s always in black. It’s just easier. The color doesn’t make his eyes hurt. He doesn’t have to think about shit matching. It deters people, a lot of times.
When You Were Young by SpookyMiscreant [Rated T, 1831 Words, Complete, 2017]
It starts when the monsters pick up Andrew from Easthaven. Andrew sits on the roof of Fox Tower and contemplates Neil Josten now that he's sober. Set to the background music of When You Were Young by The Killers.
tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied referenced child abuse and neglect
this hole you put in me (wasn't deep enough) by gaygoyle [Rated T, 3368 Words, Complete, 2023]
Neil blames himself for not doing more for Andrew while he's at Easthaven. So, Neil returns the one thing he knows even with his ban- Exy.
tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon
Shades of Sunset by darkbluebox [Rated T, 1885 Words, Complete, 2020]
Andrew is five years old, and he thinks orange is the most beautiful colour in the world. Twenty years in the life of Andrew Minyard.
tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced csa
Tell Me How You Hate Me by Killingmeslowly_24 [Rated T, 30532 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2023]
Next to Kevin sat a man who was roughly Neil-shaped, but that was where the similarities ended. Because Neil was brown hair, wide eyes, and a skittish demeanor. Neil was hidden smiles and questions and questions, so many goddamn questions, and- No. This wasn’t Neil. This man was a collage of bandages and bruises, hair bathed in flame. This man was a slack jaw and blue eyes, blue like ice, like an ocean, like drowning, too much like freedom for Andrew’s comfort. ... Or, The King's Men from Andrew's POV
tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: violence, tw: dissociation, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: depression, tw: blood, tw: panic attacks
Bury it deep down, keep it under your skin by All_for_the_andreil [Rated T, 2123 Words, Complete, 2023]
He only wants to jump off the roof half the time. He supposes that’s progress too. The other half he’s only thinking about it in theory. How many bones would he break? Would he die on impact, like his mother did, or would it take some time? Would he feel the pain, or would it be just pure shock? Would he laugh as he fell? -or- Andrew's life told in snippets
tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: canonical character death
Promptober 2023 by djinthehouse [Rated T, Collection, Updated Oct 2023]
Chapter 2: Falling into his reverse based on the song, The drug in me is you, by Falling in reverse
tw: referenced drug overdose, tw: canonical character death, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: psychological abuse, tw: gun violence, tw: murder
Chapter 4: Weak for the Boy This is based of the song, Weak by AJR it is kind of the opposite of Falling into his Reverse. 
tw: referenced nonconsensual drug use, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: blood, tw: psychological abuse
drop the game by Joana789 [Rated T, 1647 Words, Complete, 2017]
Then, the pills are gone. The buzzing in his veins is gone. The too-bright colors of the world are gone, everything back to its overwhelming dullness again. Neil Josten is, startlingly, still there.
tw: implied/referenced torture
but i’ll know, i’ll know by neilpipedreamjosten10 [Rated T, 2709 Words, Incomplete, Updated Nov 2023]
After Andrew comes back from Easthaven, Neil is missing, and Andrew is the only one who remembers who he is. But Neil never left Edgar Allen. *** This takes place during TKM, a what-if? fic where Andrew returns and finds that Neil was like a figment of his imagination, but now he has to save the runaway.
tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: referenced overdose, tw: referenced suicide, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: torture
Lost (I Don’t Want To Be) by Demiwitchwoodwalker [Rated T, 4564 Words, Complete, 2022]
Part 2 of Someone(s) To Stay 
Kevin didn't respond, couldn't, and he suspected Riko knew that as his next words oozed with some sort of satisfaction. "I thought I'd give you a bit of a heads up, as a… let's say Christmas present. Your precious Nathaniel's getting inked. It's a shame Jean already got three, it would've suited the little Wesninski."
tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: panic attacks
NB: kandrew/developing kandreil
meta
*tw: may include references to Andrew’s canon trauma and suicidal thoughts
Andrew's time at Easthaven meta by series author @korakos [Tumblr, 2015]
Neil didn’t make Andrew want to live. He gave Andrew a reason to give into that want. meta by @haletostilinski [Tumblr, 2016]
The Extraordinary Strength of Andrew Minyard meta by @imaginedmelody [Tumblr, 2016]
the drugs went away and neil was still the same meta by @miniyrds [Tumblr 2016]
after they pick Andrew up at Easthaven meta by @evil-diabolical-oops [Tumblr, 2016]
andrew hates neil meta by @kickfoxing [Tumblr, 2017]
can you imagine Andrew coming back from reliving weeks of abuse… meta by @boris-pavlikcvsky [Tumblr 2017]
Midnight Thoughts about Andreil meta by @saltierthanbottomofapretzelbag [Tumblr, 2018]
Was "If it means losing you, then no" the final nail in the coffin? meta by @blogaboutyafavbirdboys [Tumblr, 2019]
meta about andrew and caring and wanting things by @sinistercacophony [Tumblr, 2020]
thoughts/feelings/deeper meaning of the (rooftop keys/cigarette) scene? meta by @bloody-wonder [Tumblr, 2020]
andrew thinking that neil was just a side-effect of the drugs meta by @twirlingflurry, @buriedinbaltimore [Tumblr 2021]
how utterly, heartbreakingly sad it is that Andrew calls Neil a pipe dream meta by @fortheloveofexy [Tumblr, 2022]
“You were supposed to be a side-effect of the drugs” meta by @sepulchralblues [Tumblr, 2023]
he cannot be real, he has to be a hallucination meta by @neveranniething [Tumblr, 2023]
neil just gives andrew his bands and knives meta by @grooviestguru [Tumblr, 2023]
you may also like
in the dream I don't tell anyone (you put your head in my lap) by Fortheloveofexy [Rated T, 1850 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]
The real Neil would never allow this, would not let himself be this vulnerable. The real Neil can barely stand to be around him. Andrew knows this. But Dream Neil? Dream Neil is a different story.
Will you be there when I come back? by Shamman [Not Rated, 299 Words, Complete, 2017]
Andrew is trapped in Easthaven with an eidetic memory and tries to focus his thoughts on the confusing image of Neil Josten's face. -Because however terrible it may look, Andrew's current circumstances are much less pleasant. Furthermore Bee has been making him sing and play the guitar in a very therapeutic attempt to make him express some sort of actual emotion over the past year.
tw: violent imagery
You Gave Me A Key And Called It Home by glintchi [Rated T, Collection, Complete, 2019]
Chapter 19: Yes, I Admit It, You Were Right [460 Words] Renee was waiting for him in the basement, fingers already taped, hair pulled back into a tuft of a rainbow ponytail.
Foxhole Tidbits by SpangleBangle [Collection Rated T/M, Updated  2018] 
Chapter 14: My Friend, O My Friend [M, 953 Words]  Prompt for Renee's reaction after Drake/Easthaven and Andrew's return.
tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: canonical character death
Did You Miss Me? by Deathandcommas [Rated G, 555 Words, Complete, 2023, Locked]
Aaron and Andrew have a late night chat after Andrew gets back from Easthaven.
tfw spoons by StrawBerryRains [Rated G, 216 Words, Complete, 2021]
Nicky offers Andrew ice cream when they arrive home from Easthaven.
A Taste of Your Own Medicine by caffeine_withdrawl [Rated M, 66454 Words, Incomplete, Updated March 2023]
Set after the infamous Thanksgiving, but then diverges from canon. Andrew and Bee decide it’s time for Andrew to come off the drugs, but works some magic so that he is allowed to do it in Columbia. Neil is tasked with helping him through it. They decide to do it the same way Andrew helped Aaron sober up, by locking him in a bathroom. Andrew doesn't react well, and switches between rage and panic. Andrew wonders if Neil is real or if he made him up because of the drugs.
tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: body horror, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: flashbacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: drug addiction, tw: withdrawal, tw: vomit, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: ptsd, tw: emotional abuse, tw: hallucinations
making it harder to breathe by Azure_Allumiia [Rated T, 1643 Words, Complete, 2021]
Christmas Break with the Foxes, featuring Andrew at Easthaven and Neil in Evermore. Foxes celebrate New Years in NYC with the ball drop.
tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: rape/noncon, tw: medical abuse, tw: torture, tw: blood
Dead Birds by Noah98 [Rated G, 1601 Words, Complete, 2021, Locked]
Neil just got back from Evermore and Andrew has returned from Easthaven. Riko calls. He wants a rematch and oh boy does he get it.
tw: violence, tw: blood/gore
Art
NB: just a sampling of art for this scene
“Feel Again” original song by @whatbutandreil [Tumblr, 2020]
Picking up Andrew from Easthaven part 1, part 2 comic by @coldcigarettes
andreil keys off the roof scene: animation by @hahanken | comic by @rainbowd00dles | comic by @lunapiq | art by @esklinray
I hate you comic by @thematicallycoherent
I’m not a hallucination art by @clumsyartish
Stick around long enough to figure it out for yourself. edit by @m1nyards
You are a pipe dream art by @viennemort
“you spend all this time watching our backs” edit by @matthcwboyd
not a hallucination a pipe dream art by @kryptidfox
“you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.” art by @planetmontressor
"Go inside and leave me alone." art by @dimsunstuff
“No, you’re a pipe dream.” art by @starkingdraws
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inevitably-johnlocked · 7 months ago
Note
Hi Steph! I hope you're well! I just wanted to highlight a fic I stumbled upon tonight that's STUNNING so far! The author is super accomplished, but this seems to be their first Sherlock fic so it's not getting the attention it deserves. It's a post-HLV case fic (with Mary having fled and no baby as two caveats to that) with slowburn Johnlock. I'm not sure how many chapters it'll eventually be, but there are currently 4 posted (24k words).
/works/56001043/chapters/142225180: the first time, a second time around
I wish I could tag the author, but I'm not sure if they have a tumblr!
the first time, a second time around by JustStandingHere (M, 24,267+ w., 4/? Ch. || WiP || HLV Divergence, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Lucid Dreaming, Mind Ghosts, Drug Use) – While resting and recuperating, Sherlock lucid dreams. John ruminates. In the meantime, two unconnected men have died in eerily similar ways in completely separate parts of London. It's a welcome distraction.
=====
OOOO!! This one sounds SUPER interesting!! I'm not sure if the author has a Tumblr, but hopefully they get a boost because of your recommendation!!!
Everyone go give this one some love!!! It's currently being written!
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myreia · 7 days ago
Text
AO3 Year End Roundup 2024
Thank you for the tags, @anneapocalypse & @lilbittymonster!
Tagging: I'm not sure who has done this since I'm a little late to the party, but throwing tags the way of @thevikingwoman, @roguelioness, @galadae, @galadrieljones, @astrology-bf and @syrcus! 💕
Tumblr media
—Words posted: 133,357
—Additional Words Written: A little over 30,704 from two long fics I started but then got distracted by other things. Hopefully I will be getting back to them this year!
—Grand total of words: 164,061
—Fandoms: FFXIV
Technically Dragon Age as well, but since these were reposts of fics from 2018/2019 I deleted a few years back, I’m not going to count them.
—Works: 10 (technically 39 but anthology publishing, y’know 😂)
—Highest Kudos: Since I posted my ffxivwrite fics as an anthology, I’ll count the next highest. Desiderium was published in August and is part of my (super belated) Wolcred week series. It’s currently sitting at 39.   
—Highest Hit One-shot: Most of my fics this year were multiparts, so this one goes to Anthesis (post-Endwalker Wolcred smut wooo). It’s currently sitting at 311.
—New Things I Tried: I wrote a bunch from different character POV’s! While I always enjoy writing from Aur’s POV, it is a lot of fun to explore different viewpoints and visit different characters’ perspectives. The whole structure of my (unfinished) wolcred week series is based on doing one fic from Thancred’s POV followed by one from Aur’s. I also touched on Alisaie, Fordola, Minfilia, Ryne, Rielle, Sidurgu, Aymeric, uh… so many. I was experimenting a lot with ffxivwrites, which was fun!
I am also being more adventurous with how I am incorporating sex scenes into my work. Apparently I did not one but two strip teases, one for Aureia and one for her Azem so. Hm. Maybe they are more alike than Aureia believes lmao. Also shout-out to Thancred’s moment of disassociation in Surrogate. I think I’m just being more adventurous in my approach to sexual situations in fic.
I am also much more grounded as a primarily longfic/multipart writer. This started last year with Divergence of the Heart, but most of my previous fanfics (especially in my Dragon Age era) were one shots or one shot collections. I’m really happy flitting about with novella-length stuff, it sits in a good place for me.
—Fic I Spent the Most Time On: Desiderium, since it had a lot of different threads to pull on. I also spent a lot of time on a post-5.3 untitled ShB fic that has some of my favourite Wolcred moments in it to date, so I’m excited to return to it once I finish the series I’m currently working on.
—Fic I Spent the Least Time On Steer took no time at all, it just came and went like that. Which I suppose is the purpose of the exercise!
—Favourite Thing I Wrote A scene in the aforementioned post-5.3 untitled ShB fic which I can’t really say much about other than I am excited to share it whenever the whole fic is ready! From the published stuff:
I love Aureia and Yda’s dynamic in Castaway and Yda being the one to break through some of her walls in ARR
Aureia and Thancred’s balance between hope and concern when they first arrive in Old Sharlayan in Desiderium
the aftermath of Aureia’s red magic experiments to slow her light sickness in The Heart’s a Withered Fortress
Aureia and Sidurgu slowly growing closer and closer together, as seen from Rielle’s POV in Stable
Sally, a Rielle character study that made my heart hurt
Stamp, a Fordola character study
—Favorite Thing I Read: Eleos [General, rated Mature, 4,018 words] by @astrology-bf. It is an absolutely fascinating look at the WoL from the perspective of a Garlean soldier, and it raises many excellent questions about the nature of war, loyalty, purpose and mercy. Marius and Ifan’s conversation is such a fascinating moment, and I’ve been thinking about it since I read it on tumblr.  
—Something I Finished: Four out seven Wolcred week fics done! Maybe I’ll finish the series before the next wolcred week comes around ahahaha.
—Miscellaneous Highlights: I think ffxivwrites was a highlight for me. Since my fanfic preferences have turned towards multiparts it was nice to challenge myself to keeping things contained. I re-learned how to write one shots and I think I went in new directions I didn’t necessarily expect if I had had time to think and structure things out!
Another highlight are the two gift fics I wrote this past year which are very precious to me. Familiar Shores (WoL x Tansui) for @thevikingwoman and Seasons Passing (WoL x Y’mhitra, WoL x Aymeric, WoL x Yugiri, and WoL x Erenville) for @lilas! I adore both their WoLs, and it was so much fun writing them and exploring their relationships.
—Writing Goals for 2025: Finish the wolcred week series before June! The next three entries are all going to be some form of multipart, but I am excited for them since they explore much more than just Aureia and Thancred’s relationship, but their relationship within the context of other relationships and friendships. I am a bit nervous about what I have cooked up for Fic #6 since it is going in A Direction that may not be very popular, but it is very true to Aureia and I am excited about it nonetheless.
Other than that, I want to return to my two unfinished longfics, and then see where things take me. I have so many ideas, and I’m really enjoying fleshing out Aureia’s series and hitting all the different moments that are important to her from ARR-ENW. And I’m sure whenever I do get around to playing Dawntrail, I’ll have more ideas to add to the list!
Aaand maybe I will publish my 100th AO3 fic this year, who knows. 😈
—Final Thoughts: 2024 was such a fun year for fan fic writing. Since I write for a living, I’ve struggled for the past several years finding a balance between time for professional writing and hobby writing, and I think I finally found that balance. FFXIV is such a fun sandbox to play in, I’ll have many stories to tell and many ideas to dig into for a while.
I think sometimes I worry about not really being able to participate in the tumblr fandom properly because I'm unsubbed for an unknown amount of time (which means I’m missing out on the newest content, gposing, and everything that’s only possible with a regular sub). The nature of an MMO kind of leaves you with the feeling that you're not present if you're not continually active in game, but I don’t think this is really true. I can still do my thing and write and make stuff and be invested in the game and my character without playing regularly. There’s more than enough story for me to chew on from the stuff I have played, and with video game fandoms I enjoy taking a step back from the game and going on to play other things while I let the story and characters sit with me.
I’ve taken up digital art recently and I have some ideas for comics when I get more experience under my belt, so that’s something to look forward to, too!
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blorbortion · 7 months ago
Text
happy pride month!
i figured its as good a time as any for me to finally post my gay book recs 😌
theyre overwhelmingly YA as im a young adult and thats what ive been reading, but im widening my horizons, so stay tuned for more mature entries! ill be updating this list as i read more gay lit.
WLW 4 or 5 out of 5 stars
- She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen (les/bi, enemies to lovers, sports, set in high school, YA)
- The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth (great writing, appealing characters and authentic chemistry, i think les/les, YA)
- Not My Problem by Ciara Smyth (also amazing, also les/les, has heavier themes, YA)
- Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo (historical - 1950s, asian american sanfran culture, butch/femme, YA, deserves its popularity. do Not read the spin off its not worth it)
- Cinderella is Dead by Kalynn Bayron (fairytale retelling, feminist focus, les/les, YA)
- This Poison Heart + This Wicked Fate by Kalynn Bayron (urban fantasy, bi/les? i think, poisonous plants, greek mythology, two books, YA)
- How to Excavate a Heart by Jake Maia Arlow (les/les, YA, lots of "reclaimed" slurs, lots of secondhand embarrassment, but if you wanted something seasonal for winter here you go - its not bad!)
- A Spindle Splintered + A Mirror Mended by Alix E. Harrow (fairy tales, lesbian mc, other wlw side characters, fun and short, written for tumblr and its obvious, sometimes depressingly real)
- This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amar El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (time traveling, enemies to lovers, short chapters, tries to be poetic and sometimes it succeeds sometimes it doesnt)
- Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield (horrors of the ocean, it doesnt get better - no happy ending, still beautiful though)
- Salt Slow by Julia Armfield (women-focused horror short stories antology, i would call it bisexual moreso than lesbian, definitely worth a read)
- Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flag (a story that takes decades and focuses on many characters, two of the most prominent are in a same-sex relationship, lovely and bittersweet at times)
- The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall (set in the early 20th century and quite sad, a very relatable story of a gnc lesbian woman growing up and living as an "invert", looking for her place in the world)
- Affinity by Sarah Waters (historical - late 19th century - mystery, set in a large part in a women's prison, mc suffers from depression, spiritualism is a strong theme)
- Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead by Emily Austin (contemporary litfic about a depressed lesbian with severe anxiety, a tough read if you relate but SO good, and against all odds it has a happy ending)
MLM 4 or 5 out of 5 stars
- If This Gets Out by Sophie Gonzalez and Kale Dietrich (gay/bi?, YA, secret dating, two boysband members, alternating perspectives)
- Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall (fake dating, cringe but somehow fun when you get into it, very organic writing)
- Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (gay/bi, YA, enemies to lovers, actually fun!, better than the movie^tm, a bit cringe with the ~progressive~ lines and fanficky moments)
- Time to Shine by Rachel Reid (gay/bi, sports romance, there were so many beds and still they chose to sleep in one together, very fun + funny)
- Icebreaker by A. L. Graziadei (bi/gay, rivals to lovers, YA, sports romance, a little internet-y at times, theres a side poly relationship)
- More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera (NOT a romance, super depressing, a lot of deep homophobia, but also beautiful. i gave it 5/5 on goodreads, YA)
- Masters of Death by Olivie Blake (a fun urban fantasy with a large, found-familyish cast, some slight Harry Potter references and a lot of humor and existential pondering, lovers to strangers to enemies to lovers, bi?/bi)
- All For The Game series by Nora Sakavic (gay/bi m/m, such a guilty pleasure but its SO good, its like a sports anime but 1. the sport is made up 2. its actually gay 3. theres the mafia involved??, very early 2010s with how edgy it is but its worth it i promise. a LOT of trigger warnings though, if its important to you - CHECK THEM BEFOREHAND)
honorable mentions that arent very gay focused but are very good
- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (campus novel/dark academia, the m/m is mostly subtext, heavy style of writing but so worth it, shakespeare abound, please read it)
- Graveyard Shift by M.L. Rio (a halloween-y mystery novella about rats, mushrooms, academia and journalism, a Very Slight f/f element but its enough for me to put it here)
- The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater (YA, fantasy, literally so good, not much of the m/m romance but when it happens it HAPPENS, 5/5 im obsessed with this series)
- The Tusks of Extinction by Ray Nayler (a short sci-fi novel about bringing mammoths back, multiple povs, one of those is focused on a gay couple - which is irrelevant to the story but i loved the book so im using this opportunity to promote it)
- When Among Crows by Veronica Roth (polish folklore inspired urban fantasy, a 3 person found family, very short (160 pages) and reads quickly, if youre polish yourself though be prepared for cringing - language errors abound, a little m/m)
- Several People Are Typing by Calvin Kasulke (a short epistolary novel about a guy with an office job whose soul got sucked into the Slack app. written entirely in Slack messages. VERY funny, quite thought-provoking and at times beautiful! has a small sprinkling of m/m)
less than 4 out of 5 stars but i read them so ill state my opinion anyways
- A Scatter of Light by Malinda Lo (YA, wlw - bi/les, great writing boring story, gnc lesbian compared to a boy later revealed to identify as nonbinary, homophobic slurs "reclaimed", cheating, unfinished sideplots)
- Ash by Malinda Lo (YA, wlw, bi/les i think, fairytales, fantasy, uncomfortable het age gap, moral of the story - love triumphs all)
- The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun (YA, mlm, gay/gay?, lots of awkward internet popculture references, slurs, writing mostly fun and engaging but at times felt like an educational PSA)
- The Coldest Touch by Isabel Sterling (YA, wlw, les/bi, marketed as lesbian Twilight - do not be fooled, the author is weird abt race too though, the romance isnt really fleshed out)
- These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever (mlm, an attempt at dark academia, the start was interesting but then it turned into disgusting fetishization of violence in a gay relationship, written by a tif and you can tell)
- Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney (the mc is bi and her best friend is a lesbian, the characters are all awful, it kinda felt lesbophobic at times but i dont have proof)
- Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar (wlw, YA, as you can guess fake dating, also rivals to lovers iirc?, its nice but just didnt catch my attention much)
- A Million to One by Adiba Jaigirdar (wlw, YA, a heist on the Titanic, i dont know why i keep giving this author a chance, you need to suspend your disbelief so much its inadvisable for atheists to read it)
- Honeymoon for One by Rachel Bowdler (winter holiday romance, les/bi ("pan"), lots of grief and conflict and not enough of the romance developing, so many awful mothers??)
- Running With Lions by Julian Winters (YA, mlm bi/gay, the writing isnt that good, a bit of misogyny)
- Don't Want You Like a Best Friend/More Than a Best Friend by Emma R. Alban (victorian era les/les romance, a very light read - dont expect a historical drama, theres a large focus on other m/f pairings. warning: lowkey step-sibling "incest" - read the book description)
- You're the Problem, It's You by Emma R. Alban (sequel to the previous position, victorian era mlm gay/gay romance, dont expect historical accuracy here)
- You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight by Kalynn Bayron (wlw YA slasher horror with supernatural elements, the final girl trope plays a big role, i dont read horror often but this one is not good even though i like the author)
- The Magic Between by Stephanie Hoyt (gay/bi mlm, main character with OCD, an interesting though maybe overdone magic system, overall though just a goofy tumblr romance - nothing special, but good fun)
- The Nightmare Before Kissmas by Sara Raasch (bi/? mlm, holidays with magical royal families, romcom but not a lot of the rom - you can tell the author usually writes fantasy and not romance, fun and silly but nothing amazing)
sekcja polska 🇵🇱
- Noce za nocami i Noce aż po wieczność autorstwa Małgorzaty Wilk (wampiry w Warszawie, pierwsza książka homo m/m druga bi w/m - ale oryginalna parka nadal na pierwszym planie, dużo drugoplanowych postaci lgb i innych par jednopłciowych, nie ma żadnych slurów ani praktycznie nic o trans, lekki i bardzo zabawny styl, bardzo przyjemna dylogia)
- Zanim dojrzeją granaty autorstwa Rene Karabasz (bułgarska powieść o specyficznym stylu, główna bohaterka jest lesbijką i albańską burneszą - zaprzysiężoną dziewicą)
- Pawilon małych ssaków autorstwa Patryka Pufelskiego (pamiętnik geja wyłoniony jako najlepszy w konkursie na pamiętniki osób LGB/T przez co został wydany oddzielnie od reszty, świetnie napisany, bardzo prawdziwy i wzruszający)
- Krew, która nas dzieli autorstwa Edyty Prusinowskiej (główna bohaterka jest bi, jest też istotna postać lesbijki która gra hetero femme fatale ale jest ciekawa, YA, wampiry, fajna lekka lektura, szybko się czyta)
- Córki tamtych wiedźm i Prawdziwe wiedźmy autorstwa Weroniki Łodygi (dylogia wlw, les/les?, middle grade, mało romansu w pierwszej części, Hogwart ale polski i tylko dla dziewczyn, główny wątek rozwija się dość późno)
- Lato w pionierskiej chuście autorstwa Kateriny Silvanovnej i Eleny Malisovej (m/m o gejach na pionierskim obozie w ZSRR, spoko koncept ale słabe wykonanie, diabelsko potrzebuje redakcji)
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birdmitosis · 19 days ago
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RP With Me? :D (HTSC, IO2, STP)
IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!
So... Hi! :3 For anyone who doesn't know me, I'm Kit, they/them pronouns, over 30 years old, and I'm looking for 18+ RP partners for some specific shippy small fandom/ship RPs!
The ships I'm looking for run the gamut -- M/F, F/F, and M/M, canonically -- but I am also totally open to trans headcanons as well, whether it matches with their canon genders or not, and am often into genderbending in general!
I am a big fan of pining, slow burn, hurt/comfort, and complicated relationships; I like any mix of plotty and shippy in my RP and I'm open smut scenes but it's not required. I RP in third person, I don't mind if it’s past or present tense, and I try to match length but tend to default to 2-6 paragraphs.
I'm looking for a few rare(ish) fandoms and rare ships:
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How to Survive Camping by Bonnie Quinn (fainting--goat)
Kate/the man with the skull cup (aka Beau)
I am open to trying to play either character, though I've never written for either before! I would be completely happy to play other characters as side/supporting characters at the same time.
I am open to any ratio of ship to plot, probably slow-burn, set during the series or potentially post-series, following canon closely or doing a canon divergent AU… I could potentially even be into full AUs! I am happy to lean into the horror and fantasy/folklore and action stuff.
I am very into these two as a queerplatonic ship, a ship where they couldn't really put a name to what they are even if they felt inclined to… I am open to kissing or even smut but prefer all of this in a way that doesn't just erase Kate's identity. I am also open to trans headcanons or genderswap (though would rather not just cis genderswap Kate).
Inside Out 2 (Pixar Movie)
Anxiety/Ennui
I feel a bit more confident with Anxiety, but I am open to trying to play either character, though I've never written for either before! I would also be completely happy to play other characters as side/supporting characters at the same time, and am open to other ships between the emotions as secondary/background pairings.
(I am also into Anxiety/Ennui/Fear if anyone wanted to make it an OT3!)
I am open to any ratio of ship to plot, fast-burn or slow-burn; I love canon-compliant stuff set after the main plot of the movie, but could also be into canon divergent AUs or potentially even full AUs! I am into slice-of-life but also potentially plotty stuff like in the movies, or even other genres if full AU.
I am very open to smut with these two, though it isn't necessary! I am open to trans headcanons, or even genderswap, but those aren't necessary ether.
Slay the Princess (Visual Novel)
Cold/Paranoid
I do lean towards playing Paranoid, but that's a marginal preference I would also be super happy to play Cold instead! And I'd be completely happy to play other characters as side/supporting characters at the same time, especially the other voices but also others, and I'm open to other ships between other characters as background/secondary pairings.
I am open to any ratio of ship to plot, fast-burn or slow-born, set during the game somehow or after basically any of the endings, following canon closely or doing a canon divergent AU or even a full AU! I am open to more slice-of-life or leaning into the post-apocalyptic and/or horror stuff, or potentially other genres if doing an AU.
I am very open to smut with these two, though it isn't necessary! I am also into trans headcanons (she/her Paranoid my beloved; Cold with a gender of "who cares?" my beloved) or genderswap, but those aren't necessary either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If any of these are up your alley, you can message me here on Tumblr, reblog this post with a comment or tag expressing interest, or message me on Discord (I'm mxkit there). Or if you just like this post I'll reach out and message you instead! (If you reblog this post but don't like it or comment on it/tag it expressing interest, I'll assume you're just signal-boosting.)
I'm open to RPing over Tumblr, Discord, Dreamwidth, or email; I've never RPed over Google Docs but I'd be open to learning how to do that as well! 🎃
FINALLY, I ONLY RP WITH PEOPLE 18+, especially for shippy things like this, even if it goes nowhere spicy at all!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME OKAY BYEEEE 💖
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ego-osbourne · 10 days ago
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2024 Art Wrapup
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JAN - FEB - MAR - APR - MAY - JUN - JUL/JUL - AUG - SEP - OCT - NOV - DEC
It’s that time of the year again <3 Here are all my biggest projects, my favorite projects, or the projects I learned from the most each month this year, with annotated notes below the cut!
JAN - “Blood Practice,” Ego ; After so long of struggling with how to draw blood that looked good and consistent with my style, I finally sat down and made a whole piece dedicated to it. I quickly realized how much more effort it took to make blood like this in layers, and at first I was not happy with the lack of efficiency, but this year I’ve come to appreciate spending more time on my art to make it look better. I think every year I’ve been slowly working on ways to balance quality and speed, and this was my first realization of the year that I could slow down on a piece and not feel burdened by it.
FEB - “Happy Sanguine Summoning Day,” Sanguine & Ego ; I was surprised and happy to see how many people liked this one (couldn’t imagine why). But I also remembered this piece being the breaking point for my usage (and future non-usage) of content warning tags. Tumblr tumblr tumblr, you “s.hadow-banning post” site you. When I first posted this, I made the mistake of fairly tagging the post with proper and specific warnings, only to have it s.hadow-banned from the tag until I removed said warnings. After this I made my blog officially 16+ and found alternative ways to make similar posts that would otherwise fla.g the system. All that drama aside, this one was just plain fun to make.
MAR - “Listener, my Listener,” Erandur & Cicero ; Oh, I do love a good teaser. I have such a plan prepared in The Dez Illusion for these two. It’s one of those things that I don’t super want to spoil, but you can imagine from the art what’s in store for Pa. This was also a piece where I refined how I would draw blood, and the lighting, posing, and claustrophobia of it all was fun to do.
APR - “Outlived,” Ancano & … ; Another one of those posts that I don’t want to spoil here on tumblr until I have the fic posted (this one I’m guarding even closer than the previous!). Lore aside, this was one of those pieces where I attempted a background and, unsurprisingly, did not have the most fun with it. Backgrounds can be so tedious to me. For what is shown, I think I accomplished enough of what I was aiming for, I just wish I could make it match my style a bit better. I remember the water especially giving me loads of trouble, to the point where I eventually gave up and did the “lazy way” of using simple strokes to emulate the water’s surface. And, while I’m not insanely happy with its lack of congruence with the rest of my style, I can’t say I’m unhappy with it either. Improvising the water and forgoing the restrictions of my line-and-cell dependent style ended up m king something really pretty, I think. This piece was a great step into getting myself more comfortable with breaking my own style rules.
MAY - “RUN!” Glarthir, Sweetheart, Martin ; Ah, the start of the Oblivion craze. I had played Oblivion early in the year, and if I remember correctly, I believe this was made after my second run? Or maybe I had finally finished my first run? Either way, it saw the sudden development of Sweetheart as a character with his own story rather than a plot device for Caspian’s backstory, and thus began my hopeless spiral as I realized I’d be making a *third* fic to put between the two I already had planned (and I couldn’t be happier that I made that decision—I’m very excited to write Mortal Intentions!). As for the piece itself, I appreciated doing something with heavy movement. And, though the chameleon glass armor is no longer canon to MI, I was happy with how I managed to figure it out.
JUN - “Velehk Revamp,” Velehk Sain ; I had spent far too much time whining about how I needed to remake Velehk’s markings and far too little time actually remaking his markings. So, when I finally sat down to do it, I was ecstatic. I think these near-whole body markings really highlight the unique beauty that I always wanted to portray him as having. Additionally, putting to paper what his blood, scars, and teeth looked like were immensely helpful and relieving for me. I found that a lack of redesign for Velehk made me nervous each time I drew him before this! Also, this piece served as a muscle study, especially for legs.
JUL - “Pepper - Mankar Camoran,” and “AND I’M GONE - Ruma Camoran” ; Both of these animatics were made within the same month, and I could not choose between them! Both of them were so extremely fun to do and I was so extremely proud with how they both came together. I am also pleasantly surprised with tumblr’s video player! The quality on tumblr is so good, especially in comparison to Discord and Youtube. The Pepper animatic helped tremendously with taking my first baby steps into moving shots and,, movement in general lol, and the AND I’M GONE animatic furthered that practice! I am especially happy with the shot of Mankar on the floor with the blood splatter, and the shot of Ruma tearing into the Mythic Dawn banner. Both of these animatics have made me wildly more comfortable and confident in making more videos in the future.
AUG - “SPEAKING FIRE,” Mankar Camoran ; You know, when I first started drawing Mankar and exploring my character, I told myself “Ozzy, you cannot actually fall for this character. You cannot romanticize this villain’s ideas without commentary, you cannot trust Bethesda’s writing in making him the best villain he could be, and you cannot, under ANY circumstances, genuinely find any sex appeal in him. You cannot fall that low.” And, well, dear reader and past-me, I am happy to report that I succeeded in the first two rules… and horribly failed in the third. I have had an absolute ride rewriting Mankar as a villain for Mortal Intentions, I have had so much fun dismantling and rebuilding the religious system of Oblivion for my fic, and I have especially had a *blast* in making this ugly old failed villain fuck as dubiously sexy as I physically can. My standards are in Oblvion—that is to say: low as fuck. Can’t lie, I’m having a great time. As far as comments on the actual piece? I was happy to redesign the Mysterium Xarxes, I stumbled upon making a good fire effect, and the word border was fun to figure out.
SEP - “2 Corinthians 11:14,” John Ward ; One of two of my only non-TES inclusions for this list. During the month of September, I found myself surprisingly in love with FAITH: The Unholy Trinity. Aside from being a big horror fan and really liking the horror aspect of the game, I was also intensely intrigued by the religious themes behind it. If you are unaware (and you might be, I don’t often talk about my irl situation on this blog), I am currently in school pursuing a pastoral ministry degree, and plan to further gain a doctorate in theology so I can teach at a college level. My own experience with religion and Christianity has been colorful and rocky and a story for another place and time, and I was not expecting much in the way of decent religious theming when going into FAITH. However, I was… extremely pleasantly surprised. I could (and should one day, honestly) go into a long spiel about everything this game does right with its story on a theological context, but for now just know that the most moving moment of this game, for me, was realizing John never once met God or any other heavenly force in the flesh. The scene I drew (and that is featured in-game) is a complete lie. It is simultaneously the most terrifying moment, and, the most inspiring moment of storytelling in the whole game, imo. I want to really talk about it one day, but for now, know this piece was made out of intense love for FAITH.
OCT - “Captain Caspian Stormwatch Remaster,” Caspian ; Like Velehk, Caspian was another character I had had in mind to do a redesign of for a long time, so I was very relieved when I finally kicked myself into gear to make one (it helped that I was doing this for a Secret Santa event too, lol). Until this piece, I had not been satisfied with Caspian’s outfit—he never looked like a true captain to me, lacking a flare that he so desperately needed. I think I accomplished giving him said flare in his redesign! This piece also helped me reach into the practice of complicated patterns on my characters, and learning to be okay with drawing something even if it will be hard to recreate in the future. At this point in the year, I was finally starting to come out of my craving for maximum efficiency, and looking back at this Caspian reference, I am so happy to see the improvement of my art through character design.
NOV - “The Camoran Twins (Remastered Outfits),” Ruma and Raven Camoran ; I’ll be so real, it was November, I was stressing the hell out with finals and massive research papers for college classes, and was spending a lot of my free time gaming rather than drawing because I was STRESSED!, as aforementioned. So, this rather simple reference will have to do for the month of November, because I simply had nothing else. To be honest, I might end up redoing these again sometime in the near future. I like the shape of Ruma’s outift, but am iffy on the colors, and I like the colors of Raven’s outfit, but am iffy on the shape. However, I was very happy to draw Raven with jewelry, and both of the Twins challenge my ability to draw hands, so it was a good stretch of the art muscles to get this reference done.
DEC - “By the Fire” ; This. Project. Was. Massive. Originally asked for in AUGUST by my good buddy Lars, I was so happy to have him be the one to be commissioning such a huge project like this because I knew he’d be patient with my slowness. In truth, I was very slow with this one. This entire school semester had been tough on the creative brain, and finding the motivation to do commissions was difficult as hell. Despite the workload, I was very happy to have practice in doing such a big project like this! I learned a lot about my own speed in doing different parts of the artistic process (sketching and lineart take so fucking long T-T but coloring and shading are my friends), which helped me gauge timeframes for when I was doing personal art, and will help me in the future as I do more commissions! As for the contents of this commission, everyone’s character designs were fun and varied in complexity and vibes that I had the challenge of trying to tie them all in together. Being able to simplify complex designs and add details to simpler designs to make everyone look like they belong to the same artstyle is one of my favorite challenges in art, and why I love doing commissions—adapting other people’s character designs into my own style scratches my brain just right.
~
Looking back on my 2023 Wrapup to reference this post, everything that I talked about last year feels like it happened so much longer ago. I guess that’s normal, but man, the progression that has happened over the last year seems so fast in hindsight.
Last year, I talked excitedly about becoming a mod for the Miraak’s Little Cultist server, and this year, I became an admin due to some… very wild circumstances, admittedly, lol. If you’ve read this far, know that the Cult server has been softly privated by popular vote, but personal invites are allowed to be handed out. If you’re over 18 and we’ve chatted in the past, or you want to chat, shoot me a DM and you might vibe enough to get an invite. I don’t want to advertise this as its own thing as I am terrified of having to turn down multiple strangers who I just Don’t Know, but if nothing else, I am always open to chat individually as friends (and know that I am more likely to invite friends to the server than strangers). It’s been a bit of a strange year for the server, but I’m grateful for the bonds I’ve made and wishing those who found interests elsewhere the best.
Last year I commented on being 70+ chapters into The Dez Illusion’s outline with no hope of posting Chapter 1 by the end of the year. As of this year, I found myself at 100+ chapters, and, between school and art, have been revising my outline to shave down chapter numbers and overall make the story tighter. I am nowhere near done like I thought I was back in the summer, and production will be slow, but I am still working on things! If it’s something that you would want to see, I can start making author logs about my progress on TDI (omitting heavy spoilers as best I can) to show that, yeah, I AM still planning on posting this thing. No promises for Chapter 1 release in 2025, I tend to keep jinxing myself when I get hopeful about that, lol.
I mentioned getting more comfortable with drawing different body types last year, and feel I’m still riding that train into 2025. Feminine bodies are still a struggle!! But I can at least confidently say that my attempts at feminine anatomy *now* look much better than they had *then.* Happy to keep learning, even if it’s difficult.
As for art in general, I’m finding the same sentiment I held at the end of 2023: I’m improving in shape diversity and am much more willing to add smaller details to my art now than I had a year ago. Always learning, always improving.
Here’s to another year. Thank you so very much for visiting my blog. I’m trying to branch out a little more on tumblr and be more interactive with the community, no matter how much shyness tries to prevent me from doing so. I have met some of the coolest people I’ve ever known through tesblr, and I want to keep meeting you :] Happy New Year o/ I’ll see you soon for my WIP Art Wrapup
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