#i lowkey forgot we at a funeral

[whiskey-fever]

Miracle-seventeen

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: forced proximity, slight enemies to lovers, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, and swearing.

Summary: Reader is the merch girl for Bad Omens. It wasn't what she wanted to do with her life but when her mother got sick with Alzheimer's, reader took a job where she could to help with the costs. She thought it would be a one-time gig but the longer she was on the road with them, the harder she fell for Noah Sebastian; even if he wanted nothing to do with her. She needed a miracle to save her mom and her future.

Author Note: To be honest, I wanted a bit better birthday shout-out to Noah. But the day got away from me so that'll have to do.

Tags: @ada-clarence @nonamessblog @thescarlettvvitch @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @theoneandonlykymberlee @yumikitten @blackveilomens @cherrymedicine13 @thebadchic @notmaddihealy @jay02bo @beaker1636 @jakekiszkasguitarpick @punk-pr1ncessxoxo @er3nslovergirl @iamdesolate @lma1986 @jessitpwk @themodern-daywednesday @writethrough @bngurngheart @dreams-that-are-anwsered @loeytuan98 @omens-in-reverse @loverofagoodbeard @jay02bo @niicoleleigh

Alone.

Lonley.

Comfortless.

That's what I was. No one to turn to in my time of desperation. No one to comfort me when I was seconds away from a breakdown. No one to pull me out of the darkness that I was so close to succumbing too. The pain was eating away at my heart, gnawing and scraping at the part of my soul that I fought so hard to protect.

Both parents dead.

A brother that didn't care for a relationship with me, only wanted whatever our mother left him.

An ex that hurt me with the things he said. Yet my heart yearned to feel his warm embrace around me, to feel his adoration-filled gaze drink me in. To feel his lips on mine again even if it's one final time.

"Now I believe Y/N has some words to say."

My heavy eyes lifted from my hands that were placed in my lap as I stared blankly at the man on top of the stage next to my mother's casket. He was rambling on about how wonderful my mother was and the life she had created with my and her husband. I nearly vomited in my mouth at that, being one of the few that knew the truth. Everything my mother created was a lie; me included.

I noticed Lana turn her head towards me as she sat in the pew to the right of me but refused to meet her gaze. The small room in the funeral home was packed with everyone who knew my mother but yet, I sat alone in the pew in the front row in front of the stage. It was common in a funeral that the first pew was reserved for the immediate family of the one that died and I was the only one left, hence why I was alone.

No one left but me. What's the point of this anymore? It is even worth it?

A large hand squeezed my shoulder from behind and when I gazed at it, a small tattoo of black angel wings came into view, along with the large array of other tattoos. Peering up farther, I noticed Noah nodding towards me with a face full of concern.

"Angel," he gave my shoulder a squeeze.

I had to blink a few times because I almost forgot that he was here along with Folio, Nick, and Jolly who sat with him in the pew behind me. Turning around even farther, I saw Bryan, Matt, Davis, and other members of the crew that I worked with sitting in the surrounding pews. My cold heart suddenly felt warm and full at the sight of all of them here for me.

"Miss,'' the man on the stage spoke again. "Do you have any words you would like to say about your mother?"

Fucking loads.

Noah gave another squeeze to my shoulder. "You know you don't have to, right?"

"I know," my voice came out broken. "But if I don't, what would these people think?"

"Since when did you start caring about what other people thought of you?," he asked with the corner of his mouth turning up slightly.

I never did until Noah snaked his way into my heart and soul. Now the only person I cared about what he thought about me said some of the most hurtful things ever to me yet here I was offering his comforting touch and gaze. Was I pathetic for allowing him to do this? I told him to stay out of my life and meant it. But the second I saw his bright brown eyes, I nearly melted into him again; like I always did.

Noah was a vice that I couldn't quit no matter how bad it might be for me.

"Uh," I cleared my throat while turning back to the man on the stage. "I don't think I will. We can move on."

He nodded before he told the guests that now they can come up row by row to offer their condolences once more before we headed to the cemetery for the burial process. Once that was finished, we would head back to my house for the wake where I would have to be a proper homeowner and welcome these strangers into my home so they can ramble on about how much my mom meant to them and how they'll be sending me their thoughts and prayers.

A bunch of bullshit. No one knew the truth.

"Dear, you should stand so you can thank people for coming," Lana said as she came to stand in front of my pew.

Numbly, I nodded while slowly standing to my feet. This was the last thing I wanted to do but knew I had to. It wasn't so bad with the first few people who came to shake my hand but after the sixth 'I'll keep you in my prayers. She was a wonderful woman' I couldn't take it anymore and felt my knees about to give way. Until strong arms wrapped around my shoulders to keep me upright and a soft voice cooed in my ear.

"I'm right here as long as you'll let me."

Noah looked at me with pleading eyes and for a moment, I let the anger I felt for him subside and allowed him to stand with me as person after person came by to do the same shit the one before them did. It fell on deaf ears the longer it went on.

Noah still had an arm around my shoulder, fingers grazing over my arm, when Lana came up to me once the last person offered their condolences.

"You must be Mr. Sebastian?" She looked at Noah with stern eyes.

He nodded. "You can call me Noah."

Lana gave him a long once over before turning her gaze to me. "I'm going to head back to the house to make sure everything is set up for the wake. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No, I'm okay," I gave a small smile to assure her.

"You make sure she makes it to the cemetery then back to the house?" Lana asked Noah.

He pulled me closer into his chest and I wrapped myself around him, letting his warmth quiet the voices in my mind.

"Of course."

The cold October air chilled around my ankles as I stared down at the now filled grave. The crowd of people were slowly dispersing to head back to my house; all but four. They stood behind me as they let me take all the time I needed before leaving.

One the way to the cemetery, I rode with the guys in Noah's car sitting in the passenger seat while he drove. Silence filled the entire car as his hand rested on my knee, his gaze bouncing to me every once in a while. I never once looked in his direction or removed his hand from my knee. The voices in my mind screamed at me to push him away, to tell him to go fuck himself, but I couldn't listen to them; I refused to listen to them. Noah was exactly what I needed right now and if I pushed him away, I was afraid of what I would do.

He hurt you. How can you forgive him for that?

Because he came. He's here right now even knowing I'm pissed at him. Even when I told him to stay away.

But how long would he stay? The Europe tour starts in a few weeks, without you.

I forced the negative thoughts of out my mind with one long, deep breath, to focus on the good. They were here now, and that's all that mattered. But that didn't mean I was ready to completely forgive Noah yet.

"Hey," a hand grasped mine. "You ready?"

Looking over to Folio, I gave him a weak smile. "Is it bad that I don't feel the need to say something?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. You're still full of all that anger. Once it clears, you might find the need to say something. But take your time with it, don't rush the grieving process."

"You guys didn't have to stay," I said while looking behind me to see Jolly, Nick, and Noah still standing there.

Noah gave me a warm smile. "We're not going anywhere, angel."

My heart fluttered but before I could respond, movement over his shoulder caught my gaze and I stilled.

James stepped forward with his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Alright, which one of these guys is your boyfriend? Or is it all of them?"

"I told you to stay away," I scowled while standing my ground against him.

"You can't keep me from our mother's grave, Y/N. I'm not going anywhere until I get what I'm owed," his eyes sliced into me.

Folio shared a look with Noah, who immediately stepped right up next to me to place a hand on my lower back.

"You alright?" He asked me.

"This is James, my mom's other kid," I introduced, not daring to call him my brother.

James looked between Noah and I, a questioning light beneath the darkness of his eyes.

"So, you're the boyfriend," he muttered.

My lips parted but Noah was first to answer. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

Hearing him not deny James' observation made something twinge in my gut and heart flutter.

"Well," James motioned towards me. "I have some private matters to discuss so if you'll excuse us."

When he reached for me, I reared back behind Noah, who immediately stepped up into James' face.

"Unless Y/N wants us too, we're not leaving," Noah said.

"We have nothing to talk about, James. I already told you that my mom didn't leave you anything in her will. The only thing she left besides her mounds of debt was the house," I spoke over Noah's shoulder.

"I find that hard to believe."

I scoffed. "Why do you care so much? You're clearly doing fine money wise. What could you possibly want?"

"The house will sell pretty fast, great turn around and profit." James shrugged. "But of course, I need you to sign it over to me."

Before I was willing to give him the house for free but now knowing he was only wanting it for the money, I refused. Yes the house held all the bad memories of my mom but it also held the memories of where I grew up with my father; the one who raised me even after knowing the truth.

"I'd rather chew glass," I spoke through gritted teeth. "If my mom wanted to give you the house, she would have."

A muscle in James' jaw ticked. "You probably coerced her."

"How?! She had Alzheimers!" I snapped, voice raising to echoing levels. "I couldn't even get her to remember who she was, let alone have her sign the house over to me! Maybe if you were in her life more, she would have given you something but you only show up when she dies. Like mother like son, huh?"

James made a move towards me but Noah pushed a hand into his chest to stop him in the same moment Folio and Nick stepped beside. Jolly remained behind me and the four of them boxed me in to protect me. Never in my life have I felt more cared for and looked after than this moment right here.

"Stay away from Y/N," Noah threatened.

"Or what?" James scoffed. "Is she worth all this trouble?"

"She's worth more than you'll ever know," he didn't miss a beat.

"There's nothing left for you here James. The house isn't worth anything and for the sake of our mom who's buried beneath your feet, leave me alone. You've been in my life for less than a week and it's been fucking miserable. Do me a favor and go back to Texas. I'd give anything never to see you again.," I said defeated.

Everything from the past week suddenly caught up to me and I wanted nothing more than to go back home and crawl into bed. Except my house was filled with people I didn't want there. The only ones I wanted were standing around me.

James gave us all a glare before spitting at Noah's feet and walking away while calling over his shoulder. "Careful what you wish for!"

I couldn't help but snicker at his words. "How ironic."

Noah's back tensed with anger as he watched James intently walk to his car before driving off. I placed a gentle hand on his back which caused him to look down at me. The fight we had was suddenly fleeting away from my mind and the only thing I wanted was to move past it; of course, after we talked about a few things. I wasn't ready to jump right back into a relationship but maybe take things slow.

"You didn't have to do that," I said.

He shrugged while stuffing his hands in his pants pockets. "Let us know if he bothers you again, alright?"

"Okay," I nodded.

Deep down, I had this gut wrenching feeling that this wasn't the last time I'd be seeing James.

Jolly motioned towards the car. "Ready to head back home?"

Home.

It sounded so weird. Going back home to a metaphorically empty house. After the wake, everyone would go back to their lives while I stayed stuck in the empty void of my life.

"Do you think anyone would noticed if I snuck upstairs into my room?" I asked as we all walked towards the car.

Nick laughed lightly. "It's whatever you want to do Y/N."

"I'd rather lounge on my couch and watch movies while eating my feelings away with pizza and ice cream."

"We can make that happen," Folio said once we reached the car.

I shook my head. "You guys don't have to stay. I bet you're all exhausted."

Noah, who remained quiet the entire walk to the car finally spoke. "We're not leaving you, angel. As long as you'll allow us, we're staying."

I knew he had more of a meaning behind those words than the others.

"Can you guys give us a minute?" Noah spoke to the others.

When they nodded, I let him lead me a few feet away so we could talk in private. My heart was thudding so loud in my chest I thought it would burst through like those face huggers in that one Alien movie. A part of me had an inkling idea of what he wanted to talk about and I wasn't sure if I was ready to have this conversation yet.

"I know this might not be the best time but I wanted to apologize; for everything."

"Noah-," I sighed.

"No," he interrupted. "I've already waited to long to apologize. I should have came after you that night you left but I was dealing with my own problems and issues and took it out on you; our relationship. It was wrong of me to say those hurtful things to you and bring up private parts of your life in front of anyone else. I'm an asshole and deserved that slap."

"Can I be honest?" I bit my lip.

When Noah nodded, I continued. "I was mad at you, furious, at first. I wanted nothing to do with you and I thought I'd be fine without you but seeing you here today made all of those feelings for you rush back in. The ones I felt when I first started to work for you. Through the darkness of my life the last week, you were a light I never thought I'd need. It sounds stupid, I know, but it's true. All of you guys showed up to be here for me when you didn't need too."

"Stop saying that, angel. You know we would do anything for you," Noah said.

"I know," I nodded. "Some might think I'm a pushover for what I'm about to say but I don't care; it's what I feel is right. I forgive you, Noah. Can you promise me one thing, though?"

Noah reached for my hand and linked our fingers together. "Anything."

"Promise me that if you have an issue about something dealing with me or my friendships with the guys, we'll talk about it like normal humans?"

"Deal. Now, can you promise to talk to me about things that are bothering you," he playfully shot back.

"Deal," I gave a soft smile.

I could practically see the weight lift off of Noah's shoulders but I still had more to say that could ultimately ruin everything.

"I also don't want to rush into this again. Would it be alright if maybe we take things slow? I've got some things I need to sort out with my mom's death and some things with my past. I'm not saying completely ignore each other but I think, for now, I just need some more space. I still want to see you but not officially. But I'm not saying to see other people cause that's not what I want. Unless you want to, then I guess that's fine. I don't want to make you wait for me. If that makes sense."

I was rambling, nervous that he wouldn't understand where I was coming from. Thankfully, Noah understood because he laid a soft kiss across each of my knuckles.

"Take all the time you need, angel. I can wait for years if I gotta," Noah smirked.

I playfully smacked his chest. "Cheeky, aren't we? Using your own lyrics as a pickup line?"

Noah began leading me back to his car with our still intertwined hands and winked at me. "Is it working?"

I bit down on my bottom lip to keep the grin away but ultimately failed; the grin breaking wide across my face.

We all loaded into the car and Noah began the short drive to my house, cutting through the usually quiet neighborhoods. Only this afternoon, it was lively and loud with families running from house to house as their children wore different arrays of costumes and clutched their buckets of candy.

"Oh, shit," I muttered. "I almost forgot it's Halloween."

October 31st. Halloween.

There was also something else about this day that rang loud bells in my mind but couldn't quite remember. I racked my brain trying to think as I saw Noah shift in his seat while he pulled the car to a stop in front of my house. Suddenly, what I was searching for slammed into me with such force that I had to lean my head against the headrest.

Fuck.

"Thank you for everything, Lana. I don't know how I would have done any of this without you. Truly, I owe you so much," I said while pulling away from our hug.

She cupped my cheek. "Dear, please call me if you need anything. Even if it's just to talk. I don't want you to go through this alone."

I glanced over my shoulder to where both Nick's were discussing what movie to watch while Jolly went about ordering the pizza. Noah was in the kitchen cleaning up the mess from the wake. Everyone had left awhile ago, Lana staying behind to keep me extra company. But as the afternoon wore on into the evening, I told her she should head home. She already spent so much time away from it, no need to stay away longer.

"I'm not alone, don't worry," I smiled while looking back at her.

She nodded behind me towards the guys. "They're good friends of yours, yeah?"

I nodded. "Yeah, they're starting too."

"And Mr. Sebastian?" She asked with a raised brow.

My cheeks warmed as I averted my gaze to my feet. "Just a friend."

Lana hummed. "For now."

With one final goodbye, I slowly shut the door behind her and instead of going into the living room, I followed the noises coming from the kitchen and saw Noah loading the last bit of dishes into the dishwasher before starting it. He wiped his hands on a rag before folding it nicely on the counter then looked out the window above the sink; the moonlight casting a bright shadow over his face. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him, my core twitching with a hunger that needed to be fulfilled; soon.

"You didn't have to do that," I said.

Noah gave me a warm smile. "I'm kind of neat freak so it wasn't a big deal."

I pushed myself off of the wall I was leaning on and walked over to him, closing the distance.

"But it's your birthday," I whispered while looking up at him through my lashes.

"You remembered?" He asked, almost shocked.

"I almost forgot, with every going on today. So I'm sorry you had to spend your birthday at a funeral," I cringed.

It wasn't the ideal birthday, that's for sure.

"I spent it with you, to me it was the best birthday in a long time," Noah admitted with a smile.

"Well," I placed a hand on his chest. "I have to give you your present."

He heart beat wildly underneath my palm but his face never gave way to his nervous state as he simply raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

I nodded. "This is a one-time thing, alright? I meant what I said earlier about taking things slow."

"If I remember correctly, you also said this was a one-time thing about the time I got you off by riding my thigh; now look at us," Noah murmured as he dipped his head towards mine.

My eyes doubled in size as I felt my cheeks warm when I remember that night at the Airbnb. It seemed so long ago, and I yearned to feel that release again with him.

"Maybe I should forget about giving you your present," I teased while taking a step back from him.

Noah's large hands grasped at my hips to yank me back into him, my hands sprawling over his chest.

"Don't tease me angel," he groaned, voice dropping dangerously low.

Licking my dry lips, I stood on the tips of my toes so I could reach him and ignoring the voices screaming at me to stop; I laid a soft kiss on his plump, waiting lips. Noah wasted no time in kissing me back, his one hand leaving my hip to tangle in my hair, tilting my head back so he could get better access to my mouth. Just like the first kiss we shared, electricity shot through my entire body, rendering me numb to his taste and touch. My tongue brushed over his bottom lip before I explored every inch of his mouth. His teeth scraped along my lips as he bit down on it while I pulled away, breathlessly.

"Happy birthday, Noah," I moaned before slipping out of his embrace.

[lonesomedotmp3]

I have deeply urgent things to do so clearly it's time for the final lost rankings of season one

1. kate - she's so crazy... you always want to run away katie!!

2. sayid... 🫶 when he was the first one to speak at boone's funeral graugh

3. jack. he's been serving like crazy lately it's insane. do no harm was just unreal. and I won't spoil for beth but that thing he did in exodus. his beautiful stupid hero complex <3 literally if he had absolute power he would keep it really niceys!!

4. sun. I don't have much to say she makes me feel a lot of things I really like her

5. shannon. every time she does something I find compelling she does something irritating like right after but of course I'm a feminist and I'm working on it. she's had some really good scenes though like her and walt... ugh 😿

6. jin. literally went from wanting him dead to here look how far we've come... he's been slaying sorry. but frankly I DON'TTTT care that he was in the mafia or whatever like to be honest dude I could not give less of a fuck. him just being a guy who can't communicate with the rest of them is inherently compelling and he can have this conflict with sun without it being like. oh well he's just so stressed because he's a contract killer. or whatever he does it's all the same stupid shit. I don't care! on a nicer note I'm obsessed with his little marital odd couple dynamic with micheal where micheal is one of the only ppl who can sort of understand him... they were in love here. or something.

7. boone. he will not be on this list after this and of course he's dead so I'm letting him be this high. his death was devastating lowkey and him dying desperately trying to save them all... whatever 😐 I'm letting you off the hook 😐 WHATEVER!

8. walt. henry mills swag! freaky little kid swag!

9. oh my god I forgot charlie. well if I'm being real he's been flopping lately. am I really gonna make him lower than jin... yeah I am. sorry. he'll win me back soon it won't be hard.

10. hurley. he's fine. him being the comedic side character is kind of getting grating though like I get it we need the silly but. come on...

11. locke. BOOOOOO! he's getting soooooo cocky like sit down bro you literally killed that kid because you're insane... and then calling it * ********* ********* GET OUT!!! he's obviously going to be the main part of a crazyyyy arc next season but he is irritating the hell out of me currently. and an enemy of jack is an enemy of mine...

12. micheal. also fine he has had a few good moments with jin but mostly he's kind of boring and whatever

13. sawyer. I like him much more than I used to! but he still pisses me off. ESPECIALLY after born to run before that I was like ok he can be kinda silly but oh my god keep kate's name out of your mouth she should've poisoned your ass...

whoaaaa I literally forgot about claire. sorry girl you are kind of nothing to me... I'd put her above hurley probably

and while I'm here. best episodes of season one - pilot/the moth/do no harm/exodus part one. <3 ok bye xoxo tee

[picnokinesis]

Hello! I decided to choose one song from each playlist that I’d like to know more about if it’s not too spoilery :) It took me a while to narrow down which ones I want info on the most haha, these three are ones I have less specific speculation about.

July Bones from the main playlist

Delilah from the teen playlist

The Funeral from the anterograde playlist

Thanks!!!! :D

HELLO!! This is lowkey so funny, because of all the songs on the teenage Koschei playlist, Delilah was precisely the one I was hoping someone would ask me about - but on the other hand, I had to stand and stare at The Funeral and July Bones for a long moment because for a while I just COMPLETELY FORGOT that I'd even put them on there, let alone why. However, you'll be pleased to know that I've now figured it out hahha

I know this is gonna get long, so under the cut she goes, but if anyone wants links to the playlists in this ask, they're right here!

The Campervan AU playlist

The Teenage Campervan Koschei playlist

The Anterograde AU playlist

July Bones by Richard Walters is a song that I actually found whilst building a playlist for one of my original script projects, and so I primarily associate it with my oc, Jules. However, I actually realised that it was only the vibes that worked for Jules, and that the lyrics weren't relevant to her at all. But campervan au...now that's interesting. As with many of the songs on every playlist I make, but especially campervan au playlists, not every line is necessarily relevant or taken literally. The same is true for some of this one. That said, the opening line hits the nail on the head:

In July, in July, in July I burned all your things And they glow, and they glow, and they glow and the fire still sings

For me, this song is really about the Doctor and Koschei's childhood, and the immediate aftermath of The Thing That Happened on 13/06/1999. Pre-amnesia, the Doctor had a habit of burning her things when she wants to cut ties and make a new start on life. This is my poor man's version of regeneration in a human au. Of course, we also know that the Doctor burnt the curtains at Gallifrey Road, which is what led to her being put into temporary respite care and ending up being fostered by Brax's family. I think in this case, the 'burning' was a lot to do with the fact that, after what happened, Koschei was in prison and the Doctor was basically left alone. And, due to her life in foster care, being passed from one family or group home to another, the only way she's ever learnt to deal with things going awfully wrong is to cut ties, burn bridges, and start completely afresh. With Koschei rubbing off on her, that 'burning bridges' part starts to come rather literal. But no matter what she tries to do, however she tries to remake herself, she still stays the same and makes the same mistakes - and Koschei does too, in his own way. Which works perfectly with this later line of lyrics:

Is it right, is it right, is it right that we can't change? Do we make, do we make, do we make the same mistakes?

The Doctor can't change - she's still defined by everything that happened to her, she's still defined by the things she doesn't remember, the things she tries to forget. She's still defined by Koschei. She tries to burn it all, and it glows and it glows but the fire still sings.

Also, the line 'if only your bones would lie with mine' makes my heart hurt in a very thoschei way, since with regards to the show, I very strongly believe that the Master is mainly motivated by wanting the Doctor to die with him. So, whilst that's not exactly what Koschei wants in campervan au, the vibes are there.

Delilah by The Dresden Dolls is the entire reason I even made a teenage Koschei playlist, and it's so funny to me that you picked it out, because I can just imagine you listening to it, reading the lyrics and going 'what' HAHAH - because, for anyone who doesn't know, this song is pretty specific. The precise scenario described in the lyrics is not accurate to what happens in campervan au at all, but emotionally the song is so perfect for young Koschei. Delilah is sung from the point of view of a young woman, Amanda, who is watching her close friend Delilah (or, as the song writer as confirmed, her own younger self) who keeps getting sucked into abusive relationships. It's quite an angry song of the frustration of watching someone you love dearly being self-destructive and not wanting to be saved, being angry at them and berating them (or yourself) for this, and how much you want to just drag them into a car, get the hell out of the situation and drive into the sunset. It's probably a difficult song for some folks because it's got a lot of victim blaming in it, but it's actually really interesting when you consider that the singer is actually berating her younger self. When I first listened to it, before I knew that, I actually imagined that the singing pov character was in love with her best friend, which added a whole other layer to the thing. You ever been so angry with someone that you love more than anything because they won't let you save them from intentionally walking into things that hurt them?

Koschei has.

I'll have to be careful not to go too much into spoiler territory here. But. In the backstory in campervan au, there is definitely an element of abuse involved with regards to what is going on with John. There is also an element of Koschei trying to save him from that situation, and John refusing to leave. Obviously, it's not so easy to just get up and go, but Koschei is an angry and desperate teenager who is horrifically in love with his best friend, and not necessarily thinking in a way that's nice or kind or understanding or 'right'. He's exactly like Amanda. He's so angry at the situation, but he's also angry at JOHN for not letting him save him. Also, if you remember in the last chapter of part 6, we saw the childhood promise that these two made to each other: that they'd age out together at 18 and would get a van and just drive off so no one could bother them again. So then you've got to imagine Koschei having this fantasy of rescuing John, of John letting him, and the two of them racing off in this van together. That's what the last minute and a half of the song is. This glorious, rising crescendo of this dream of the both of them getting out, the both of them being alive, being okay, being happy - you need a ride, delilah? let's see how fast this thing can go

It's like, SO painfully perfect for Koschei in that emotional moment, and it lowkey makes me want to tear up, just thinking about him envisaging getting John away from it all. The tragedy, of course, is that he never manages it. EXCEPT IN AU5!! Which is the verse were John actually escapes with him and they run away together (they just don't get the van until they're eighteen lol). There's also a line in Delilah that works perfectly for au5, but because of the pronouns, it's actually got a completely different meaning out of context for au5 compared to what it means in the Actual Song, because it becomes about Kosch's violent protectiveness rather than victim-blaming Delilah haha. And it's this line:

And if you take him home You get what you deserve

There's also this line too which works perfectly for Koschei having genderfluid transfemme dysphoria moments:

You might be flat, but you're breathing

The Funeral by Band of Horses is such a classic, and it's funny because I genuinely had to wrack my brains for SO long on this one and why the hell it's on the anterograde playlist, because I made that one such a long time ago now. But then suddenly it hit me, and it's like a kick to the shins.

Really too late to call, so we wait for Morning to wake you, is all we got And to know me as hardly golden Is to know me all wrong, they warn At every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral At every occasion, once more, it's called the funeral At every occasion, oh, I'm ready for the funeral At every occasion, oh, one billion day funeral

I think the common interpretation of this song is that it's about something that is inevitably going to die - whether that's another person, or a relationship, or whatever - and being constantly braced for that ending to come. This is very reminiscent of how Koschei (and the Doc, to some extent) feels in anterograde. He is constantly waiting for the Doctor's memory to reset - for that small 'death' to occur, and for him to start over again. Every occasion, he knows that the Doctor will not remember anything that she's experiencing by the next day. Every moment will die as a memory she's failed to retain. Every occasion, he's bracing himself for that death. His entire life, from that point on, is a one billion day funeral. And he doesn't know exactly when it'll happen, he just has to wait for morning to wake her and they start all over again. That's all he has.

Also, because it wouldn't be thoschei without a little bit of toxicity:

I'm coming up only to hold you under I'm coming up only to show you wrong

This isn't just them being a bit mutually awful, though. These two both believe things about the other that are incorrect. Koschei, for example, firmly believes that the Doctor would have vanished from him by now if her memory wasn't resetting every day. He also believes that the Doctor will never trust him fully. And, I mean, fundamentally he's not wrong about both of those things - but over time, as they become the only solid rock in each other's lives, the Doctor does change. She doesn't really realise it, but the brain can learn in ways outside of episodic memory, and she learns to feel that he's meant to be there, that she's safe with him (this was a complicated one, but the root of it has always been there) and that she doesn't want to run away any more. It takes a while for both of them to REALISE THIS though, and so they kind of end up just proving each other wrong by existing in each's others space.

Hope this all made sense!! :D

[cloudsrust]

!!/TW: Cult of the Lamb Spoilers/!! (Mostly Shamura's domain and lowkey end game "reward")

So uhhh- I've been finally playing Cotl right? And I decided to make my first file the "comfort" one (So not finishing either the Fox or Sozo's quests, choosing "nice" rituals and just vibing)- for it I wanna marry Narinder so I chose the appropriate ritual.

The moment I carve the ritual in stone the brother of Witness Agares (Matyno, got them from the "save my brother" quest) asks for my hand in marriage, guess they fell for Lambert when they rescued them.

Oh well- I'm still far from endgame so I can just accept and have them die before going for The One I'm Actually Waiting For.

Casually wait for them to age and kick the bucket (still giving smooches, I'm not a monster) and the day comes.

(Which- that's one hell of a dramatic reaction for me leaving for a crusade?? I can respect that.) Rip in drama- just bury them and with them the whole spouse thing.

Days pass, and a follower has a quest for me:

They want me to resurrect my goddamn ex-spouse.

(Forgot to take a screen of who it was, lucky for them since I would've hit them with a surprise-sacrifice).

Salty about having to waste precious bones for it but- I don't wanna lose too much Faith (I'm trying to finish the game without dissenters- I'm at day 72 and still going strong). W E L P- bite the bullet and do the resurrection ritual.

Still smooch Matyno at times, it is not their fault that they were brought back after all and I'm- once again- no monster.

More days pass. I'm struggling to beat Kallamar since he teleports all over the place and he is the boss representation of "Random bullshit go!". Decide to pay a visit to darling Shamura (we love fucked up they/them representation on this blog <3)

And-

The madlad makes me kill my ex-not-so-ex-spouse. (Bonus points for the floral shirt, very classy for their funeral).

Literally went "JOKES ON YOU I'M INTO THAT SHIT-" and strike them down with no hesitation. I'm now a single cult leader once again.

Long story short- if this isn't they/them solidarity I don't know what it is. Thank you Shamura beloved <3

[johnemulaney]

John Mulaney: From Scratch in Las Vegas, September 4

Once again, spoilers for the show and what will presumably be in the special. This is about his relapse so tread with caution is that will be an issue for you. However, the tone of his struggle is the same one he used in his past specials so if you didn’t have any issues then, I think you’d be ok with this. Of course, use your own best judgement, friends.

The opener was Seaton Smith. 

He opened with trying to find the rich people in the crowd but acknowledged that they’d go mwrmwmwrw money isn’t everything so then he started talking about golf and went aha I got ya’ll. 

There was a joke about weed being the only Christian drug

He had a bit about when white people are nice, be nervous

He had a bit about there being a black man on the Bachelor and was like America (ABC and Disney+) were not ready for a black man to be fucking a house full of 50 white women. That shit premiered on Tuesday and the Capitol burned on Wednesday.

He also did some crowd work and roasted a couple in the front row for having different answers about kids and she was like I didn’t hear the question and was roasted about how not hearing questions you don’t want to answer is certainly a tactic, often used by drug dealers

He also had a bit about how different child rearing is in Texas versus New York and about how hitting your kids is treated differently, like his dad would have just threatened it whimsically. 

Now on to the Main Event!

The first thing he said was “hiiiiiiiiii” exactly in the tone you think he said it in. he followed that up with a little shrug looking adorable and a little bashful

“It’s him! Mr. Problems. Oh Las Vegas, Oh my god” he then talks about how Vegas is a land of vice and a Choice for him to preform in as a recovering addict. He had a sober buddy and 3 bodyguards with him at all times. 

“And here’s what happened” December 18, 2020, he gets invited to a friends apartment for dinner AND HE’S TWO HOURS LATE because he stopped, coked out of his mind, at SNL for a haircut because he still had his building access badge and he went to the hair department and they were like, he’ll leave faster if we just do this, and then he stopped at his drug dealers. 

He called venmo and cashapp, apps for drug deals and was like what do normal people even use them for. He maxed both out paying for drugs. 

He was the best looking person at his intervention. “Coke skinny, new cut” and the 12 people intervening looked like shit. He looked “tears for fears while they all looked jerry garcia” (I hope you know who those musicians are besties). 

He immediately yelled “Can I go to the bathroom” to you know, dump his drugs because when you walk into that, you know what it is. 

He was not allowed to go (he would be asked if he still needed to pee later and would say “what?”

There were 6 people in NYC and 6 people over zoom in LA because he guesses 6 people couldn’t be bothered to fly in for HIS INTERVENTION

Interventions can go two ways, it can be kind of accusatory and this is how you let us all down, or it can be supportive. Everyone but Nick Kroll got the memo to be supportive.

Nick Kroll went first.

Nick Kroll listed all the ways John was a bad best friend and brother over zoom and John was getting texts during the intervention saying Nick wasn’t supposed to do that and they were all sorry. 

Bill Hader went next. he originally wasn’t going to be able to make it so he had recorded a thing but since he was there, he did it live. (He would eventually send the video to John in rehab, which is not what you want on the way to rehab “awesome, more intervention”)

He tried to derail the intervention, “there’s not enough latinx representation” he said he’d go to any rehab except the one they had picked out for him. This was a star-studded affair and he was mad no one was being funny. 

 Natasha Lyons went next, telling him his life and career is in shambles

So he gets carted off to rehab after this intervention. Don’t let 12 comedians pack your bags for 2 months at rehab. it was bombas socks and iphone chargers. 

A little secret about rehab, you’re not allowed to bring drugs in. You remember how he was late? In his pocket on the way to rehab included: a huge amount of pills, 3g of coke (which was 2g by the time he got there, courtesy of a koala station in a gas station bathroom), and $2000 in cash. He had other plans for the weekend. He was admitted for xanax, coke, perocet, and adderall addiction. Say what you will, but he does not do anything half way.

It’s 4am when he’s sent to detox, he’s been awake for 3 days. 

He also gives a small lesson on how to get drugs. Find the lowest rated doctors on yelp and webmd reviews and go ask for them, they need all the business they can get. You become like Captain Phillips, I am the doctor now. 

Dr. Michael was his shady doctor. He was a first avenue apartment where he would write prescriptions from his kitchenette where his girl Minerva was always asleep. “I didn’t kill my wife Minerva.” But John would ask for his drugs, Dr. Michael would write the script and then ask what he needed it for. Dr. Michael would also make John take his shirt off, always offering a flu shot and going no, shirt all the way off (in case you were wondering how bad this addiction actually was)

The first moral is now you know. The second moral is get vaccinated.

He’s sent to the regular ward the next afternoon and they finally get him to sleep. 

He’s sketched out that doctors have last names at this establishment

He asks for drugs such as klonopin and is taken aback a bit when he doesn’t get them. The doctor is like PA state law says no, and so John suggests they go to a CVS in Jersey to get some. 

His bestie Pete Davidson starts calling that night. Except Pete changes his number every month and a half so John has him send a selfie and saves the new number under some other random name, at this point in time, Pete is saved as Al Pacino. (We get an Al Pacino impression) John is asleep and his nurse sees Al Pacino trying to call him 5 times and so she wakes him up. 

Pete Davidson and John Mulaney did not do drugs together. (The author is lowkey surprised and sad about that, like if Pete was my bestie, we’d make so many poor choices) But Pete was always very supportive of his sobriety. 

John needs recognition so badly, in group when they introduced themselves he said “I’m John M.” and no one cared. So he left a tabloid out with the news of his admittance and his face on it in the rec room on the table. The not being someone was “driving him bananas.” When they talked about what they do for a living and he said I’m a a stand up comedian, someone asked if he made a living that way. He said “yeah ask your daughter” (or your son)

One of the things you do at rehab is break up with your drug dealer.

One of his drug dealers only bought drugs to keep John from buying worse off the streets and only got into the game because John kept asking him for drugs and was his only buyer. That guy was originally a painter and John has no idea how they met. John is the only person to turn an innocent man into a drug dealer. 

Here he did the Baby J is back baby joke. the Park Theater is one of the biggest stages in the world so he did that joke in one pace across the stage and said the stage is that joke long. 

“I am no longer on drugs. It’s very good but also ah---” He’s in a 12 step anonymous group. 

“I need attention, clearly.” After a show you think he would be sated, but no. 

He wants that attention that the kid who’s grandparent died and showed up to school dressed for the funeral and got to sit in the beanbag chair for reading despite it not being his turn, gets. He went on about being willing to let one of the lesser important grandparents die so he could get attention, for quite a while. 

He feels left behind in science, like his C’s and D’s in those classes. All those classes were was putting things on a windowsill for the janitor to throw away. He had a bit about how the fuck people put dinosaurs back together, it’s like getting wayfair furniture without the instructions. 

He also things the moon belongs to America. Like we got there first and when other countries say stuff about the moon he’s like mmmmmmm.

He also had a joke about paying to get into college and like, for white people that’s always how it’s been. 

The show ended with him going over the highlights of that GQ interview that he was so coked out for that he forgot he did it entirely. He has no memory of it at all. He was just called up that day and asked for an interview and you know how coke is the best drug to receive attention on? He just did whatever he wanted with that attention. 

And that was the show.

[animated-moon]

tug of war

pairing: zhongli x gn! reader

warnings: SPOILERS FOR LIYUE’S CHAPTER OF ARCHON QUEST! reader works at bubu pharmacy, not proofread we die like real idiots 🤞🤞 i also made references to some of the liyue npc’s idle dialogues that people made into memes because it was too tempting not to

word count: 1.1k

a/n: i lowkey hate it but i guess we all just have to learn to adapt

☆。*。☆。

The almighty archon Rex Lapis has never lost before. Never once has he given in to the enemy’s demands, no matter who or what was at risk, and never once has he cowered to someone in battle, no matter how strong the enemy.

That was, until you came along.

“Hey! What are you doing out in Jueyun Karst all alone? It’s dangerous, sir!” He turns around, seeing a small frame running towards him. He’d just finished fending off a group of hilichurls, as per the Traveller’s request. He’d gotten a few scratches and part of his neat suit was torn. Sometimes, he forgot that he wasn't the unbeatable Morax anymore.

“Oh? You’re that new hot topic in Liyue, aren’t you?” He nodded, tucking his spear away.

“My name is Zhongli, consultant of the Wangsheng funeral parlour. A pleasure to meet you…” You chirped out your name, and he took a mental note of it. He’s heard your name around before, since you worked part time at Bubu pharmacy. He recalls that Baizhu was pretty fond of you.

“We should patch you up, Mr Zhongli. I happen to have some herbs that can numb the wounds for a bit. Please stay still while I apply them onto your arm,” you said, taking his arm gently as if he were made out of porcelain. He’d barely felt your hands on his skin before you clapped your hands ceremoniously.

“All done. Make sure to be more careful in the future, sir!” Before he could state his thanks, you’d run off, leaving the god speechless and charmed.

“Hey, Li!” Your voice stood out to him amongst the sea of chatter and exclamations. It's always been like this with you. “Wanna play tug of war?” He smiled.

“I’d never say no to a challenge,” A simple reply, like the simple man he now was.

This war between both of you started as a lighthearted game, and Zhongli found himself unwilling to let go of his end of the rope. He looked up at you, a focused gaze as you tried to knock Zhongli off his balance.

Every little motion from you was a tug of the rope, slowly pulling him closer. Even with his build, he found it difficult to pull the rope back to him. It was like his feet were planted to the ground, and his arms were only made of stone.

What is this feeling? He often asked himself, but even the almighty Lord of Geo couldn’t find an answer to his own question. When did he know to feel like this?

“Aren’t the lanterns beautiful?” You asked, taking a bite out of your cheap and tasty chop suey. Zhongli nodded, settling next to you with his grilled tiger fish. It was still hot, and he blew on it gently.

“I’m glad you took time off to hang out with me today, sir! Although you really didn’t have to,” you made a comment, and Zhongli had the smallest smile on his face.

“It’s nothing. Ms Hu let me off early today. Let’s just enjoy the lanterns.” He commented, and you hummed.

The silence was comfortable, and he glanced at you, the light from the floating lanterns reflecting off your face in a magical way. You fluttered your eyes close and clasped your hand over the other, lips moving slightly and allowing your wish to get lost amongst the beautiful lanterns.

What was it you wished about? Zhongli considered asking, but remained quiet.

“Li! Are you just letting me win?” Your voice pulled him back to reality, and he had a wide grin on his face.

“You’ve grown stronger,” he comments, and you laugh softly.

“Feel welcome to bash my ego with your geo arms.” Zhongli laughs at that, putting more strength into trying to secure himself. He wouldn’t fall. Not yet.

“Really?” You asked, eyes almost glittering. Zhongli smiled at you fondly. “They never told us these things in school,” you comment, and he shook his head.

“Not many truths of the past are conserved at all. It’s a pity not many people are as interested in history as you are,” he says, both of you strolling around the Dunyu ruins.

“Oh, do you see that?” He asks, pointing to a crossbow. “That’s-“

“The Guizhong Ballista, right?” You finished his sentence, and Zhongli looked at you, a little surprised. “I remember that you said the God of Dust, Guizhong and Cloud Retainer built it together to protect the citizens of Liyue! The traveller and you had to fix it together last time, since some treasure hoarders destroyed it.

“You remembered that? It was months ago.” Not many people bothered to remember Zhongli’s stories, after all. Not many even saw the true value in them.

“Well, it’s an interesting story, and I should be grateful that you chose to tell it to me,” you replied simply, gazing at the crossbow. Zhongli was a man of a million words, but at that moment, all the words he wanted to say seemed to be caught in his throat.

Zhongli tried again to tug on the rope, his strength not coming to him at all. Your giggles as he inched closer and closer to you was music to his ears, and he couldn’t help but smile again.

“Go! Pull harder while he’s not paying attention! You can do this!” Somewhere in the crowd, Childe could be seen, cheering for you. As he caught Zhongli’s eye, he snickered and mouthed two words to him.

“Down bad.”

“I like you, Zhongli.”

“Huh?” Zhongli made a sound of surprise? You… liked him? Before he let his mind wander, you tossed a pebble across the surface of the water, watching as the water rippled.

For some reason, he couldn’t remember the rest of that day. Did he say it back? How did you respond? What did you say after that?

Did it even happen? Or was it just a fragment of his imagination?

“Mr Zhongli! Go!” Hutao cheered, but Zhongli didn’t hear anything besides the bubble of laughter falling from your lips.

“Yea, I like you,” you repeated, turning to look at him. Before Zhongli could speak, you continued.

“-r passion for history.”

He pouts, tilting his head at you. Were you teasing him? Seeing the frown on his face, you laugh.

“Disappointed?”

“Hardly,” he replies, but turns away from you. Sometimes, Zhongli too could be childish.

“You’d have to say it first, Li,” you say, and Zhongli tilts his head at you again.

“Why is that?”

“I don’t like giving in,” you grin, standing up to leave Zhongli speechless yet again.

“I can never win with you, can I?” He mutters to himself, a wide smile across his face.

That was when your little competition began, he remembers. If he even tried to think that he wasn't interested in you, it’d be a lie. Within a few short months, he had become so enamoured with you that it’d hardly be fair.

Now, as he gave one last tug to his end of the rope, you grinned at him. He remembers every single time your eyes lighted up in delight, or dimmed with disappointment. He remembers every time you’d tugged on the rope, slowly knocking him off the balance he’d always known.

After everything, he finally let go of his end of the rope, falling into your arms which felt like home.

[janeyseymour]

I saw the second preview of six and here are my thoughts (along with a few fun stories at the end):

My heart literally fell out of my ass when the queens started walking out They changed a few small little things here and there and it was perfect If six doesn’t win best lighting at the Tony’s I will sue Ex-wives was WOW I literally could not stop smiling Some of the poses were different 

ADRIANNA FREAKING NAILED NO WAY

I am convinced she just is beyonce always

She’s just fantastic in that role and that’s what I have to say about that

Ig abby danced a little too hard during no way because she kept messing with her wig after

Actually she lowkey played with it throughout the whole show and it was adorbs

Britt was helping her fix it and like pointing out where it was a little cray (also abby’s wig looks so good omf)

ANDREA IS- WOAH DURING DLYH

Her delivery throughout the whole show was a bit more mature, but it was still so babey I love her

(On a side note someone today told me I look like Andrea, which is very kind but so untrue because I literally look like a broken thumb and she is gorgeous)

Her “IM NOT SORRY” was amAZING

She like low-key cut made the whole head joke short and im kinda sad ab it, but it was still fantastique

Through the “Wearing Yellow To A Funeral Bit” abby looked confused through the entire thing and I was cracking up

HEART OF STONE HOLY SHIT

She was INCREDIBLE and her dress was so pretty and sparkly and I just wow 

Shes just so pretty in general like ma’am how do you do that please drop the skin care routine 

The emotion that was conveyed was enough to make me tear up BUT I DID NOT CRY AND I AM VERY PROUD OF THAT 

she did the “you lift me high” line and kinda went into this airy place in her voice and it was angelic and heavenly and all the good things

HER RIFFS WERE JUST DFJDHJLFH

She was just fantastic and thats all I have to say 

Thats a lie I have so many things to say about that woman but the time will come

HOH was a whole acid trip there was a point during this song where I literally just took it all in and then thought “Janey, you really spent your hard earned money to go on an acid trip for a solid few minutes good job”

Their dancing is hilarious and thats that

ABBY SAYING “BUT WE CANNOT GUARANTEE THAT YOU’LL STILL WALK AT FORTY” I had to stifle a laugh because my queen is indeed 40

THE GERMAN ACCENTS HAD ME QUAKING

Brittney Mack is… all bad bitch energy and I was living for it

She is a queen

When she did the “my horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour”- in the boot (not that I watch those…) abby is always making a 😳😶😲 kind of face and this time she just couldn’t stop smiling and it made me laugh

WOOF

Her reveal was SO GOOD she literally just started checking out her nails while everyone just applauded… AS THEY SHOULD

When britt told the person to get up, this person full on WENT and britt was like shook it was hysterical

THE INTERLUDE BETWEEN GET DOWN AND THEN KAT’S ROAST WAS ICONIQUE

i dont think it was here but I cant remember where it was but BRITT WAS PLAYING WITH ABBY’S WIG AND IT WAS REALLY CUTE SHE WAS LIKE PLAYING WITH THE ENDS OF IT AND AWH

justice for the beheaded cousins 

BOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO BABY MARY HAD THE CHICKEN POX AND YOU DIDN’T GET TO HOLD HER HAND… YOU KNOW ITS FUNNY BECAUSE WHEN I WANTED TO HOLD MY NEWBORN SON…. IIIIII DIIIIIIEDD. Abby lowkey went feral and I loved every second of it and then her pose after got so many laughs it was truly amazing

THE K HOWARD ROAST WAS JUST SO GOOD IT WAS SO GOOD

Aywd destroyed me

I also teared up here but I did not let those babies fall because I was not about to ruin my look

justice for my pink queen

Her delivery is insane and honestly its gotten better and I didn’t even know that was possible because WOW SHE WAS ALREADY STUNNING BUT DAMN MY HEART GOT RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST

The whole “Catherine not singing” bit was fantastic

Abby looked so confused the entire time 

Andrea’s “hahaha what” was perfecto 

when Anna said “should we really be doing this” someone in the audience went “yes” very loudly and made the queens break for a solid second abby almost forgot to say her line and you could barely hear it because the audience was laughing at the rando 

Anna acknowledged it and just went “I know” before turning to the queens and saying “I know” it was hysterical 

“I’m Catherine parr, I draw the line in arbitrary places bLaH bLaH bLaH”

THE CLAPPING- BRITT GOT IN HER FACE AND JUST *CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.”  It was the funniest thing oh my gosh

“Are you sure Catherine? I-we don’t mind if you wanna sit this one out… I mean you must be exhausted from all those backing vocals”

IDNYL WAS INSANE AND ANNA UZELE IS WICKED TALENTED LIKE DANG

I dont know if this was intentional or not but when they all start to understand the purpose of parr’s thing- abby is the last to stand up and in my head im like “no yeah that makes sense because shes “the one he truly loved” and shes still trying to get to a point where shes realizing he wasn’t all that great and I dont know I just really like that minor detail

The whole “remember that I was a writer…” part got loud cheers, especially from abby it was very cute

She did a new riff on the “we all disappear” line and WOW my eyes went so wide it was so good I was genuinely shook

the “i dont get it” was sooo good

“My sixth finger” was said so casually and so determinedly that it was a whole new joke and I loved it

“Everyone notices Jane cant dance” -abby just looking so sad

“Yeeeaaaahhhhh. I read!” Was so cute and she sounded so proud of herself it was adorbs

The way they just stood there awkwardly was amazing and got so many laughs it was so good

When sam said the line about competing, abby really almost cut Anna’s line out but she caught herself and it was funny I dont know if anyone else noticed it, but I did and it was glorious

REMIX

“Rise abo-o-o-o-ove” WAS BEAUTIFUL THEY WERE IN SUCH GOOD HARMONY

AGAIN, ANNA’S RIFFS HOW DOES THAT WOMAN DO THAT AT THE END OF THE SHOW LIKE SHIT

After it was over, of course it got long applause and the entire time abby was doing her like “sparkle hands” but also awkwardly moving her arm kinda like a noodle and then going back to sparkle hands and it gave me a good chuckle

Six

The slow acoustic part was so soft I died

The harmonies was delicious

The audience was so hype

Megasix

Super hype

Amazing

Fantastic

All the good things ever

Basically it was just adorable and amazing and absolutely stunning

The new costumes are gorgeous and the lighting is wild if they don’t win best lighting for Tony awards I will full on riot

Aragon and Boleyn interacted a lot and so did Seymour and Cleves and it was very very sweet

Abby interacted with the band a lot to the point where she almost missed a cue and it was very endearing

AND THEN THEY DID THE CURTAIN UP THING AND FIRST OF ALL WOW THEY ARE ALL SO CUTE AND IT WAS SO SWEET SEEING THE WAY THEY ALL WATCHED EACH OTHER WHILE THEY WERE SINGING AND I JUST JDKFDJLA

abby’s hair is SO LONG but I am here for it

So I was looking for my friend when I hear “Make some room, make a path!” From a security guard, and the queens legit walked RIGHT PAST ME

I wanted to go to the theatre anyway to take pictures, but when I saw them, I did follow them back to the theatre because wow I wanted to bask in their glory I didnt even want to talk to them I just wanted to be in their presence

So im like, walking behind them when this happens:

I guess abby saw someone she knew because I heard this “abby!” And then she was like “OH MY GOD” and like RAN to hug them and i legit almost walked right into her/got stepped on but i freaking stopped like a noob i should’ve just let her run me over but I did not I just stopped in my tracks and let out a soft “aH” and then went around her

And then I got to meet a friend and apparently toby heard us squealing and watched us hug for a solid however long so that was awkward

And Julia schade was like talking to him and stared at us for a good amount of time

And then I was walking away and passed Julia again and she kept looking at me, but she was talking to someone else and I think she thought I was going to stay to talk to her (and I would have loved to) but I didnt I just gave her a smile, a nod, and a little wave because I can not do confrontation like if I could not confront abby ma’am I cannot confront u either I am SHY

And that is a very detailed run down of my time in nyc at the brooks

[akatsuki-shin]

REVIEW: 山河令 Shān Hé Lìng (Word of Honor)

Note(s):

(Very) long post ahead

Contains spoiler

This is my personal review and does not represent the entire audience.

This review is written by someone who has read the original novel, hence there will be reference and comparison between the two works

Summary:

After the sudden passing of his beloved master, young leader of the famous Four Season Manor, Zhou Zishu, brought his brothers and loyal followers to serve the Prince of Jin whose family had been the master of his predecessors, creating a secret organization of capable spies and assassins known as "Tian Chuang".

His decision later proved to be the downfall of his sect, however, for they were quickly swallowed into ruthless political conflicts and battle for power within the royal families, causing his brothers and followers to die unjustly one after another.

Ten years later, Zhou Zishu, now the sole survivor of the Four Season Manor, resigned from his position as the leader of Tian Chuang. In exchange for freedom, he bestowed upon himself the fatal punishment that is the "Nails of Seven Apertures for Three Autumns", a torture device created by Zhou Zishu himself that would gradually numb one's five senses and ultimately took their life within three years.

After several months passed, the now free Zhou Zishu had disguised himself as a wandering vagrant, enjoying his remaining time sightseeing, drinking, and sunbathing to his heart's content.

As fate would have it, however, his unshackled days abruptly ended when he saved a young boy, the only surviving descendant of the Mirror Lake Sect, one of the renowned Five Lakes Alliance, that was destroyed overnight by the mysterious ghosts of Mount Qingya. He was soon pulled into a conflict of the pugilist world dating back to twenty years ago, revolving around a legendary "Glazed Armor" said to hold the key to a secret armory filled with the secret techniques of martial sects from all over the world.

To further complicate matters, he somehow caught the interest of a strange young man of mysterious origin, Wen Kexing, who pursued him relentlessly with unknown motive.

---------

Before we get into it, I feel that it is worth to mention some of the major differences between the novel and live action because they do affect my impression and judgment over several points in the drama.

While there are always bound to be differences between an adaptation and its original works, most of these differences seem to have been made to avoid censorship, also in order for the drama to be able to become a "stand-alone" story (since the original work is a sequel to another novel).

1. Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing

In the drama, they are later revealed to have once been martial brothers of the Four Season Manor due to the fact that Zhou Zishu's master saved Wen Kexing's parents when they were pursued by both the righteous sects of the jianghu and the ghosts of Mount Qingya over the key of the Glazed Armor.

In the original story, they were strangers to each other that have no relationship whatsoever prior to their coincidental meeting at Jiangnan.

2. Prince of Jin and Tian Chuang

Word of Honor is based on the novel "Faraway Wanderers" by Priest, which is a sequel to her previous novel "Lord Seventh".

Originally, the master that Zhou Zishu and his Tian Chuang served should be the Emperor himself, Helian Yi, an important character from Lord Seventh - in which Zhou Zishu also made a major appearance. After Zhou Zishu punished himself with the nails and left Tian Chuang, Helian Yi and the Tian Chuang never pursued him. The story follows Zhou Zishu's journey in the jianghu and he never once went back to the capital city where Helian Yi was.

In the live action, Zhou Zishu and Tian Chuang served the Prince of Jin, a royal family tangled in internal strife for power. From what I understand, Prince Jin seems to have an ambition to overthrow the ruling Emperor to become one himself. After Zhou Zishu left, he kept an eye on him and later managed to capture Zhou Zishu, briefly bringing him back to the Jin as a prisoner.

3. The Scorpions

In Word of Honor, the Scorpion King Xie-er was portrayed as the adopted son of Zhao Jing, the main villain of the story. All the plots he devised, most of them were made with Zhao Jing's interest in his mind. There were also four remarkable assassins working under him (I don't remember their names, but you know who I mean, right?).

Originally, the Scorpions are an independent assassin group. Their relationship with Zhao Jing is that of client and service provider. The Scorpion King had his own plan to benefit himself and his organization with only his own interest in mind. There were no particular members of the Scorpions featured in the story other than him. Specifically, the Phantom Musician Qin Song was an independent assassin hired to kill Zhang Chengling, and he was believed to be dead after being defeated by Zhou Zishu on his very first attempt.

4. The Ten Ghosts of Qingya

Although the novel did mention the existence of the Top Ten Ghosts, only 4 (four) of them actually appeared in the story:

Xue Fang the Hanged Ghost (who was secretly killed by Wen Kexing in the beginning of the story, both in the novel and drama)

The Long-tongued Ghost who was also killed by Wen Kexing when he and Zhou Zishu were trapped underground in the graveyard (Zhao Family's Funeral Home in the drama)

Sun Ding the Delighted Mourning Ghost, one of the strongest ghosts who wanted to overthrow Wen Kexing's position as Ghost Valley Master; he was later killed by the Scorpions

Lao Meng (I forgot his title), also one of the strongest ghosts who wanted to overthrow Wen Kexing, but he was more lowkey and calm; he worked together with the Scorpions to first kill Sun Ding (his rival) and later to kill Wen Kexing when the jianghu heroes came to attack the Ghost Valley (although he didn't know that the Scorpion King had his own plan, hence meeting his demise during the war)

Wu Chang and his two henchmen, the Tragicomic Ghost, the Laughing Ghost, etc do not exist in the novel.

Additionally, Liu Qianqiao is also not part of the ghosts in the novel. She did have an affair with Yu Qiufeng and was manipulated by him until she died horribly in the hands of the two old couple (whose names I also forget).

5. The Ending

I think this is probably the biggest difference between the novel and the live action.

Originally, Zhou Zishu's nail wounds were removed and healed completely by Wu Xi AFTER the final battle at Mount Fengya (yes, the mountain's name is slightly different). He, Wen Kexing, Zhang Chengling, Jing Beiyuan, and Wu Xi lived temporarily at the top of Mount Changming because they need cold temperature for the healing method to work.

Wen Kexing did not sacrifice his life to restore Zhou Zishu's meridian and they did not become immortal.

Also, the Scorpion King was killed by Zhang Chengling and Gao Xiaolian after he got his hand chopped of by Zhou Zishu for trying to murder the already dying Wen Kexing (after he took his revenge on Mo Huaiyang).

There are of course, still many more differences, including when and where Cao Weining died, but the five things I mentioned above are probably the biggest ones because they directly impacted the entire plot.

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STORY: 8/10

Despite the changes and adjustments, the main plot of SHL amazingly remains loyal to the original story. The things they could not show, they would include it in the characters' dialog or tried to incorporate it in another way. Some examples:

Cao Weining and Gu Xiang's reincarnation story was included in Cao Weining's dialog (his dream and his wish to grow up together with her in their next life)

Wen Kexing's confession about wanting to build a grave for his parents from the Extra Chapter (where he cried and caused Zhou Zishu to let him top out of sympathy) was included in Wen Kexing's dialog when he got drunk and hugged Zhou Zishu after he defeated Zhao Jing (prior to Cao Weining and Gu Xiang's marriage)

In fact, I feel that most of the adjustments made to the story were able to deliver much better emotional aspects and intensity of the characters and important scenes.

Although more than half of the Ten Ghosts were made up solely for the drama, their existence was able to better portray Wen Kexing's image as the supreme leader of the Ghost Valley and why they all fear him.

Although many interactions between Zhou Zishu, Zhang Chengling, and Wen Kexing were either added or changed from the novel, here we could see them as a real, close family which is so much more heartwarming than the original.

Zhao Jing's pretense, evil deeds, and downfall were all arranged neatly from the beginning. If I hadn't read the novel, I probably would've been (pleasantly) surprised when it was revealed that he was the one plotting everything behind the scene.

The romance and relationship development of the main pairing (Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu, although it was masked as brotherhood as always) and side pairing (Cao Weining/Gu Xiang) were especially well done. It allows me, as the audience, to get to know them, sympathize with them, and ultimately rooting for them (despite already knowing how Cao Weining and Gu Xiang would end up).

Gu Xiang's anguish and fury after Cao Weining died were shown so clearly. Her final fighting scene until her death was particularly moving.

Explanations and plot twists were spread evenly so there was no info dump. The plot development was enjoyable to follow from the beginning, even if the ending felt a bit rushed.

This was a bit difficult to describe, but even if sometimes I feel like "hmm, this character did not do this in the novel", when I was following the drama from the first to the last episode, everything flows smoothly and does not feel out of place. So I realized that even if what the characters did was sometimes different from the original story, it is still loyal to the plot and circumstances of the drama, which is why their adjusted words and actions still felt natural to see.

Also, when reading the novel before, I have one critic about the Glazed Armor and the armory itself being the center of everyone's fight, but in the end they didn't seem to have much importance, especially because the armory was never found and opened. At the very least, although it was due to ending change and pretty much rushed, in SHL the Glazed Armor was actually used and the armory was shown.

Though there were indeed a few things that I do not quite agree(?) with:

Tian Chuang is supposed to be a secret organization that does their job secretly, but why is it that they always light so many lanterns when launching their attack?

The bond shared between Zhou Zishu and Prince Jin was pretty clear, but I don't think it's detailed and deep enough for Prince Jin to consider Zhou Zishu his soulmate. Furthermore, from the beginning we've never been told about Zhou Zishu's family, but in the last few episodes suddenly there were talks about his father being branded a traitor because of some secret hidden in the armory. While the story makes sense, to put new information out of the blue when the plot was about to end feels somewhat strange.

Lastly, I understand that danmei adaptations always face a lot of restrictions, as in they were not allowed to have a blatant happy ending - so most either resort to tragedy or open ending (cmiiw). However, I still feel that Wen Kexing faking his death without telling Zhou Zishu was......kind of silly.

After their life was spared by Ye Baiyi, Zhou Zishu had already warned him not to act without telling him again. When he wanted to fake his death, Wen Kexing told almost everyone except Zhou Zishu, the reason being they shouldn't make Zhou Zishu fight since he was in the middle of recovery.

Zhou Zishu is a rational person, I strongly believe that he would understand if Wen Kexing explained clearly. Him not telling Zhou Zishu led to:

Zhou Zishu actually ended up fighting to save him

Zhou Zishu thinking his soulmate is truly gone and proceeded to choose a suicidal move in order to avenge his (fake) death

Honestly, while I still enjoy following this drama until the end, I feel that the cause of Zhou Zishu dying when he could've been saved by Wu Xi, and Wen Kexing ended up sacrificing his life to save Zhou Zishu, was a bit ridiculous because really, Wen Kexing brought it upon himself.

In regards to this, even if I'm happy the two of them ended up living happily ever after as immortals on the mountain, it makes Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi's existence almost pointless. They were literally included in the story of Faraway Wanderers to save Zhou Zishu's life from the nails. But here, other than providing shelter after the Four Season Manor was burnt down by Duan Pengju, I don't see any reason why they should be there.

CHARACTERS: 9/10

Perfect casts and perfect character portrayals, both from visual aspects and acting. Some may or may not necessarily look 100% similar to their novel description, but they managed to bring out the characters to life so well.

I've said before that most adjustments made to the drama were able to deliver much better emotional aspects and intensity, and this is especially true for the characters.

Honestly, when reading the novel, other than the few main characters, others did not leave a lot of impressions on me. I don't even remember what Zhao Jing was like when he was revealed as the true villain. Gao Chong's introduction was pretty good, but then we didn't hear much about him until he was finally declared dead. Shen Shen appeared only for one chapter and the next time I heard of him, he's already dead, too.

I love the novel, but really do have so many complaints about the characters in there. Fortunately, all of these flaws had been fixed in the drama, and boy they did it so well.

Some that I found amazingly written and shown:

Wen Kexing's emotional instability and his protectiveness whenever Zhou Zishu got hurt (good job, Gong Jun)

Zhou Zishu's rich emotions to those he hold dear (good job, Zhang Zhehan)

Zhang Chengling's character being more detailed and "alive", especially his diligence, growth, and occasional mischief; he was no longer just a useless dumb kid who can't do anything

Cao Weining and Gu Xiang's dynamic is so lovely

Zhao Jing's change from the seemingly weak guy to an ambitious, manipulative mastermind

Gao Chong, Shen Shen, and many other side characters were given enough screen time + sufficient important scenes so they weren't easily forgotten

Special shoutout and kudos to the actor who played Duan Pengju. I heard he was actually the Assistant Director, but because they didn't have much budget, he was casted to play this character and he did great 🥺 Thank you for helping the team to save hundred thousands yuan!

I don't really have any complaints about the character except when Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing have just delivered Zhang Chengling to Zhao Jing, Zhou Zishu clearly didn't want to mention his name (Zhou Xu), but Wen Kexing went ahead and introduced the both of them. Somehow I feel that Wen Kexing's character wouldn't disregard Zhou Zishu's opinion so lightly.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS: 9/10

Although this drama did not have much budget to start with, literally the only complaints I have about it is so minor, like:

A few scene transitions don't look smooth

Repeated use of sets, e.g. Gao Chong/Zhao Jing's residence is the same as Prince Jin's Palace, the Secret Armory Interior is the same as Tian Chuang's prison - but this has been mentioned in an interview with the Director(?) that they indeed use similar sets for multiple scenes to save budget

Other than that, I only ever have good things to say about this drama.

The fighting scenes should be given million kudos. Save for the flying and gliding part (which still looks kinda awkward, but better than some other Chinese dramas I've seen), the actions were just so cool and intense??? From the angle, the slow motion, to the techniques that are unique and different for each character. They even perfectly showed Zhang Chengling's awkward yet correct implementation of Zhou Zishu's teaching.

Costume designs are top notch. The visual of the seven nails on Zhou Zishu's body looks so real. His disguise was also very well done, I almost couldn't tell it's the same actor.

Some CGI and animations could've done better, but overall everything looks nice. I'm especially amazed at the visual of Longyuan Palace.

OVERALL SCORE: 8.7/10

At this point, I don't even know how to end this post other than saying please watch it, guys. It's a really well done job despite their limitations and restrictions. I've watched several Wuxia/Xianxia dramas before this and Word of Honor surprisingly exceeded every single one of my expectations. I enjoyed watching it so much, and I believe you guys will like it, too.

An additional kudos from me personally, because you can tell how the team creating this drama knows and appreciates the original author's works. It's a pleasant surprise when they incorporated a few things from Priest's other novel:

From Sha Po Lang: Zhi Liujin (the fuels used for the puppets in Longyuan Palace) and the Mechanical Birds used by Tian Chuang + Ping An Manor to deliver letters

From Silent Reading: The puppy that young Zhou Zishu and Zhen Yan played with, it was named after the cat owned by the main character of Silent Reading (also, fun fact, the name of Silent Reading's main character is "Wenzhou")

From Lord Seventh: Wen Kexing faking his death was exactly the same as how Wu Xi fooled the Emperor in order to "kidnap" Jing Beiyuan out of the capital.

Conclusion: Please watch it, guys.

[themfchase]

endings & beginnings | jjk (m)

Jeon Jungkook x Reader

‒ ending and beginnings. (m) one-shot. ✎  [14k words]

genre: supernatural!au, childhood friends!au.

warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), slight dirty talk, slight choking, (jk has a massive dong), an absurd amount of scoffing and eye rolling, lowkey pining, angst, hhh angst again, mentions of blood, mentions of car accident, mentions of death and grief. physics or spiritual physics mean nothing here, don’t judge me.  After the sad passing of your grandmother, you take on the task to pack up her things so you can sell the house, but you’re interrupted by someone you haven’t seen in years, and oh, he’s hurt.  N/A: This is based on a movie plot, but I don’t wanna say the movie because I don’t want to give it away, but, I decided to write a little supernatural type au for the spooky season, and of course, I’m a lover of angst, so, I’m giving you all this. I really hope you like it, and if you do, please remember to press that heart and reblog button! It helps a lot. And please, never hesitate to send me messages! I really love receiving them!

Death.  It was truly a mysterious thing. The concept of death. Humans gave it a meaning, as if life was only but a preparation for what was to come in the afterlife. Heaven, Hell, Oblivion. It didn’t really matter to you. And no matter how many years you spent in Sunday school, learning about sin and how it was a currency that either allowed you to enter the peaceful realms of the afterlife or the eternal suffering of the underworld, it still meant nothing to you. But still, you prayed for forgiveness as a child, your grandmother right there beside you clutching her rosemary tightly in her fists with screwed shut eyes and mumbling apologies in hopes for redemption.  You wonder if she found what she was looking for, and it was almost a bittersweet thought as you looked down at her lifeless body, neatly resting in the casket. She looked peaceful, at least. Maybe that meant something. And even if death for some reason meant nothing to you, you still couldn’t hold back the quiet tears that rolled down your cheeks. This woman raised you. She raised you into the strong woman you were today. With your own business, no longer struggling to put food on the table, but now able to send her money every week, to give her the life she deserved. Because she was one hell of a woman, that you can say, from the years she raised you. Resilient, strong, and all by herself when your parents suffered a terrible fate in a car accident when you were only a toddler. Come to think of it, you were quite familiar with death. It had visited you one too many times.  Maybe that was why you didn’t care for it. For what was to come, because, in the end, death would be everyone’s end. And some may say it’s a sad life, to not really think there is anything at all once you die. That your brain simply shuts and then there is a lot of nothing.  No, you weren’t skeptical; you believed in... Something. Science, nature perhaps. You believed that it didn’t matter if our subconscious continued to echo through the air giving us a fake sense of the afterlife or if in fact; we were reborn in another life. Because death was death. And for you, and everyone else, it was inevitable. Just as inevitable as having to come back to this town, back down to the old farmhouse where you were raised, three hours from the city you lived in, to clean out your grandmother’s things. Ever since she was sent to the hospital, a buyer was interested in the large land, offering a good price on it once she passed. And people called you cold, that you’d even negotiate with a man while your grandmother was in her deathbed, but the reality was that you hadn’t been to this town in almost ten years, and you and the doctors knew she wasn’t going to make it.  You loved her, you truly did. You were grateful for everything she had done for you. But what were you supposed to do? Keep the house there, gathering dust while you went back to your penthouse in a busy city and forgot about it altogether? No, that wouldn’t be fair to your grandmother. If you weren’t going to take care of the house, you could at least put it to good use. And you thought about maybe renovating it, putting it on Airbnb for some backpackers that would eventually stop by the town. You were still pondering on that idea even while you drove into the driveway, coming from the small meek motel just three blocks from the funeral home where everyone mourned the town’s loss. And even looking at it as you parked, one single bagel from Cindy’s Diner hanging in your mouth and a cup of Iced coffee you had to explain to Cindy’s daughter how to make, it looked... Exactly as it did ten years ago when you left. Three floors, with hard oak walls and, resin painted wood on the outside, vines that crept upwards midway past the second floor, but never too close to the windows, a vast wooden front porch with two swings on each side of the door and the large tainted glass windows from the living room and kitchen, reminding you of the same ones you saw in Sunday school. It was almost a smaller wooden castle, too many bedrooms for just the two of you as you grew up, but enough that you became really good at hide and seek. It was still the same, and you sighed.  You had some amazing memories here, that was true. Bonfires with your grandmother as she told you scary stories, your neighbors coming down to play with the hose when it was really hot. You even remembered trying to build a treehouse with your grandma, but you never finished because rain season started. And the sky looked just like it looked right now, dark rumbling clouds closing in, nothing but the vast field behind the house and the faraway mountains on the horizon. Before the thick raindrops began its descent you rushed out of the car, chewing on the piece of bagel as you rushed to the back seat to grab your bags, deciding to leave the unfolded cardboard boxes there and maybe get them later once the rain calmed down. Rushing up the driveway with your large bag of clothes in your hand, the rain began to pour just a few feet away from the porch, and you let out a little shriek at the cold drops hitting your skin, making you run a little faster.  Finally, under the protection of the front porch, you dug into your pockets for the keys, rummaging through both front pockets and the single pack pocket. You were sure they were there, and you huffed in annoyance, a little wet already as you put two and two together and remembered the iced coffee in your cupholder and the keys right beside it. You grunted, throwing your head back and gazing towards your black car. The rain was pouring down hard and from what you remembered, chances were it wouldn’t stop soon, so placing your bag right beside the door you took in a deep breath and ran for your car as raindrops soaked right through your clothes. Opening the car door and quickly reaching for the keys, you made your way back to the porch now dripping wet from the unforgiving rain that had started. Finally opening the thick wooden door, it screeched open, showing that it hadn't been used in the six months that your grandmother made the hospital her permanent home. You shoved your bag in with your feet before finally closing the door behind you.  It was quiet. Well, other than the harsh rain that hit against the windows and wood, the house was dark and quiet, a little gruesome too. You rested your back against the door, head falling back as you took in a deep breath. You opened your eyes and let them roam through the house, the open kitchen, and the large living room. No television. Quickly taking out your phone, you huffed once again, no service either. You were thankful that you left your catering business in good hands with Jimin, your partner, back in town, so even without service, you knew there was really no good reason for him to reach out other than to chat.  Finally, pulling away from the door, you flick on the lights, the old yellow lamps flickering before it illuminated the space, and it suddenly felt normal again, just like it did when you were a kid. It almost felt like home. Sighing, you picked up your bag and placed it right beside the couch, walking towards the laundry room to retrieve a dry and clean towel you knew your grandmother always had in case she had any visitors and you began to dry your hair already walking back to the living room to open your bag for a fresh pair of clothes to change into. Maybe you’d take a shower before you made something to eat. The sun would be setting soon anyway, so there was really no point in starting to pack anything today and the rain really didn’t seem like it would stop anytime soon. If you remembered correctly, sometimes it rained like this for days on end, the roads rather dangerous, some even closing down. You remembered how on days like these, school was canceled, and you could stay home and play all day, have tea parties, bake and cook with your grandma. You smiled fondly at the memory as you found a white shirt and some sweat pants from your bag, and just as you were standing up to strip from your wet clothes, three loud knocks to the door startled you. With your heart now beating in your throat and a hand lifted to your chest, you looked at the door.  Who could it be?  Eyes moving to the clock just above the kitchen sink, it read seven pm. When did time pass so fast? You had just―  Three more loud knocks.  Blinking at the door, you finally decided to walk towards it, not even thinking before you unlocked and opened.  In reality, the town had always been safe, and maybe it was your big city fears creeping up on you but the sight of a wet man with his head down and hands resting on each side of the door had you startled, eyes bulging slightly as you couldn’t make out his face in the dark, your hand blindly reached out to the light switch beside the door, the one that turned on the porch lights and you flicked it on, the man lifting his face to you. Oh. He seemed familiar, and he was young, about your age. Black, wet shirt hugging his strong and muscular frame tightly, making your eyes move to the bulge of his biceps and veins that dripped with water, then your eyes moved to his strong shoulders and up to his thick neck before landing on his defined jaw that also dripped with water and blood― Wait, blood! “Oh my god, are you ok?!” You asked, one hand coming to cover your mouth in your loud surprised reaction as you noticed he had a small cut right above his thick eyebrow. He smiled, well, smirked almost as he let out an airy chuckle. And oof, if that wasn’t the most charming smile you have ever seen, despite the blood dripping down the side of his face.  “I, well― I need some help, is your grandmother home?” He asked looking into the house, now standing fully, towering over you.  The mention of your grandmother had your mouth closing. Who was this guy and how did he know who lived here? And well, if he did, it was unfortunate that he didn’t know that she had passed the day before.  “I’m sorry, who are you?” You asked, and even if you tried not to sound condescending, you did, and he lifted the brow that wasn’t hurt.  “You seriously don’t recognize me, Y/N?” He asked and crossed his strong arms over his chest. He knew your name, and yeah, he did look familiar, but he seemed to remember you a lot better than you remembered him.  At your silence, he chuckled again.  “Jungkook.” He said, and the name had memories rushing back like a tidal wave. “We used to make mud pies together, I’m offended that you don’t remember, you ate them with vigor.” He joked, and you laughed, pursing your lips right after.  “Shit, I’m sorry, you look so...” Hot. “Different.” He smiled wide, now letting his hands down, moving into his front pockets. “So do you, it’s been what... Fifteen? Sixteen years?” He asked, and you nodded, crossed your arms, and resting your shoulder on the door frame.  In a perfect world, you would be able to gawk at his wet body without being caught, but in this world. He tilts his head to the side and flicks his tongue out once he notices your eyes roaming, giving you a quick once over himself.  “So uh... Is your grandmother home, I lost control of my car down on the secluded road somewhere...” He trailed off as if unable to remember exactly where. “...and it won’t start back up. I cut my eyebrow, I was wondering if she could take a look at it for me.” He took you out of your thoughts and you blinked a few times, leaning away from the door frame.  “Oh... My grandma... passed away yesterday.” Your voice was a lot lower than you expected and Jungkook’s eyes bulged slightly, lips parting as if he wanted to say something but he didn’t know what to say. “I uh, I’m here to pack her things.” You nibbled on your lower lip, nodding before you cleared your throat. “Would you like to come in, though? I can take a look at it for you.” You made way, and he just nodded, coming inside.  Closing the door behind you, you watched Jungkook take a few steps inside, his back to you as his eyes roamed the house. Memories of his own coming to play.  “You can take a seat at the kitchen table, I’ll get the first aid kit.” You said making your way to the cabinet under the kitchen sink.  You could barely hear him move, but once you grabbed the small white box, he was there seated quietly, looking at you.  How could you forget Jungkook, anyway? You spent most of your childhood with him, playing in the backyard, sometimes going to his house for sleepovers, even if it was far from the farmhouse. You both were inseparable before his parents divorced and his mother moved to the city, taking him along with her, and you never saw him again. Not until now.  As you took out the gauze, antiseptic, and some surgical tape you watched him look almost uncomfortable, looking around the empty house before looking at you.  You knew what he wanted to say, he had that look in his eyes, the “shit, you lost someone and I’m really uncomfortable because I have no idea what that’s like, but I still want to show you some sympathy” look, and you took in a deep breath.  “You don’t have to say it, you know, I heard it at least fifty times yesterday.” You spoke softly as you took one cotton ball and swiped gently at the cut.  “Say what?” He asked, looking up at you, not even flinching as you cleaned his wound.  “You know... I’m sorry for your loss and stuff.” You shrugged, taking another cotton ball and soaking it in antiseptic.  “Oh...” He said, one hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “I am though... I loved your grandmother.” He sighed, and you smiled softly, looking at a now clean wound. It didn’t look deep, but you were no expert. It did seem as if he had bled a lot, so you decided to wrap it before it started to bleed again. “Well, thanks, everyone loved my grandma, she was amazing.” You said softly as you began to tape the gauze to his cut, never once did he complain of pain. With the close proximity and the uncomfortable silence, you cleared your throat. “So... Did you move back here?” You asked, and he shook his head.  “No... My father is getting too old to come down to the city now and then, so I decided to come here for a change, I’m only in town for a little while.” He answered, looking out the kitchen window to the rain still pouring out.  “How is life here, anyway? I haven’t been here since forever.” He shook his head as you slowly �� tried to ― tape the gauze in place.  “I wouldn’t know, haven’t been here for the last ten years. Left for college at 17, didn’t come back.” You shrugged, reaching for another piece of tape before leaning back into him.  “Where did you go?” He asked, and you leaned back, blinking at his question.  “Oh, you mean for school? McKenzie Brown.” You said and his eyes bulged.  “No fucking way. So did I! How did we not cross each other on campus?” He seemed excited, and it just showed his boyish ways, a contrast to the very manly muscles on his body and that smirk he had given you earlier. Chuckling, you were also surprised that you had both gone to the same college, but yet, never crossed paths. It wasn’t really that hard to believe, given the university you were accepted to was very, very big, with a lot of students and up to 100 per class.  “Guess life didn’t want us to.” You shrugged, and he shook his head.  “Fucking coincidence. I was kinda famous back in school.” He said, looking down at his lap and you lifted a brow, making him look up at you and chuckle. “All I’m saying is that I had some fun, had a reputation.” Your smile widened, and you squinted your eyes, even if you both haven’t seen each other in sixteen years, somehow it didn’t really feel like you were strangers.  “Are you telling me, that Jeon Jungkook, the cute, bunny teeth kid that made me mud pies and held my hand when we crossed the street, was a fuckboy?” You laughed as you finally finished wrapping him up. His mouth opened almost to protest, but instead of that, he shrugged, and a smirk spread on his lips.  “Who said anything about was?” A loud scoff left your lips as you rolled your eyes at him. Truly, it was hot. He was hot, that was undeniable. But to imagine this man that was here in your kitchen as a fuckboy was truly something you weren’t ready to let your mind wander off. Wonder off to how many people he’s slept with, how much experience he must have. You cleared your throat.  “All done.” Was all you said as you got up.  With his clothes still wet and yours too, you threw the soiled cotton balls away and directed him to the bathroom where he could wash the blood that had dripped down his face.  Once he made his way back, you stood by the door with the pair of fresh clothes in your hands, ready to bid him goodbye, but instead, he walked mid way and sat on the handrest of the couch.  “You said you were packing her things, why?” He crossed his arms again, your eyes shot to his very wet clothes against the couch and you blinked at his question.  “I’m selling the house.” You said and started making your way towards the door, still hearing the rain rumble aggressively outside.  “Wait, what? You can’t sell the house!” He stood up, a look of outrage in his eyes. You turned around and looked back at him with an incredulous look on your face.  “Excuse me?” You questioned, blinking in disbelief.  “You can’t sell the house! This house has... Has a shit ton of memories and it’s a place where you can raise your kids! You’re just going to sell it to some stranger who’s probably going to turn it into another cellphone tower?” He sounded annoyed, irritated even.  “This is my house, and if I want to sell it to someone who wants to turn it into a fucking strip club or whatever, I will.” You crossed your arms, and he furrowed his brows. Truly, you wouldn’t, not that you had anything against strip clubs, but you wouldn’t want your grandmother’s holy name to go to dust in a conservative town like this. “And if anything, this town could use a freaking cellphone tower, since there is no service here!” You shrugged as if it was obvious.  “Wow, didn’t take you for a heartless bitch.” Now that was the last straw. It was almost as if the funny, charming Jungkook from before had vanished in a blink of an eye and all you could see right now was a condescending, nosy ― but hot ― stranger making demands and offending you.  “Get out.” You said calmly, crossing your arms. Jungkook gave you a pointed look, a scoff leaving him.  “You’re going to kick me out in this rain?” He raised a brow.  “Well, you somehow made your way here in this rain, I’m sure you can make your way back.” Maybe you were a heartless bitch. And your ex-boyfriends might agree, but the truth was, you didn’t like anyone making decisions for you, if anything, you didn’t like men making decisions for you.  “Oh, don’t worry your spoiled little ass, I’ll leave in a second, just gotta remember where...” He began walking towards the door and stopped midway, his voice slurring. He stumbled a little, one hand moving up to the wrapped cut. “Remember where my... my car...” He shook his head, as if unable to see straight, and even if you were irritated, your mind and body quickly went into action, walking towards him to keep him steady.  “Jungkook?” You called softly, and he leaned against your hand, unfocused eyes looking for you.  He didn’t look good, the once white gauze now with a bright red spot where the blood seeped through.  “Hey, why don’t you sit down a little, you might have hit your head a little harder than you thought.” You continue to speak softly, slowly maneuvering him towards the couch. You sat him down with a thud, a huff leaving him as his head lolled in his hand. From the few medical documentaries you’ve watched in the past, you knew that if he had a concussion, sleeping right now wasn’t the best idea.  “I’m going to get you some dry clothes and make us some coffee, I think you better stay here tonight.” You look out the window, he surely wouldn’t have made it back to his car.  A minute ago you were ready to kick him out into the rain because of your irritation, now you would have regretted it if anything had happened to him, had you done so. Sighing, you quickly made your way to your grandmother’s closet where she still kept a few of your father’s clothes and you took a large shirt and some sweats, just like your own.  Making your way back down, Jungkook still sat there with his head between his hands. He looked up at you once you made your way to him and reached out for the clothes.  “Feeling a little better?” You asked, pursing your lips.  “Yeah, just... Dizzy.” He admitted, not looking at you. “I’m... Sorry. I’m sorry. That was way out of line.” He blurted out, looking up at you as he took in a deep breath.  You pondered on it for a few seconds, you both were friends once, even if you were children, he wasn’t a complete stranger and that meant that you still nurtured some type of fondness over him ― and no, it wasn’t only because he glowed up. “We’re cool. Just don’t call me a bitch again, or a brat, otherwise, I’ll probably give you another concussion” That made him chuckle, and you laughed back. “Anyway, get dressed, we’re going to end up sick if we stay in these clothes.” Jungkook nodded, immediately reaching for the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head, and you didn’t have time to turn around before his bare torso ― and abs― came into view.  Oh, he was truly a sight to see, wet locks falling down his face, damp, glowing skin in the dim yellow lights of the house, ripples of his abs and thin waist so well defined, if your mouth wasn’t agape before, it was now and you caught yourself, turning around to give him some privacy.  “Please, as if I didn’t catch you checking me out at the door.” He scoffed, you couldn’t see him, only hear the sound of ruffling clothes.  “I wasn’t checking you out!” You defended yourself, not looking at him and not sounding convincing at all.  “You were totally checking me out, I was checking you out too.” Yeah, you were checking him out, but him checking you out? That was new information.  Not that you weren’t worthy of being checked out, in fact, you were very confident in yourself, not because of your looks, but because you knew that success was written all over your face and that was enough reason for men to find you attractive.  “Figures.” You smirked, arms crossing over your chest.  Jungkook rolled his eyes, even though you couldn’t see it and you could hear him standing up, probably changing out of his wet pants.  You waited patiently, very tempted to peek, see what he was hiding behind those pants. You had noticed how firm and thick his thighs looked in those dark, wet pants.  “You can turn around now.” He informed, and you quickly turned, seeing him in the cozy clothes you had picked out. It wasn’t that you remembered because you didn’t, but seeing Jungkook in your father’s clothes made it all very... Domestic. You quickly swallowed as you looked him down and grinned.  “Ok, I’m... I’m going to go change and make us some coffee, don’t fall asleep.” You informed, and he sat back down, folding his wet clothes.  You were glad that there was at least coffee in the pantry, because food? Other than some crackers and powdered eggs, none of that. You made a mental note to go get some tomorrow if you were meant to spend the week here.  You picked up the two mugs and made your way to the living room where Jungkook sat quietly, looking around. Handing him his mug, he took it with a quiet “thank you” before you sat on the armchair right in front of him.  It was awkward now. Both of you quiet as you sipped on the hot coffee in your now dry clothes and looked around, it was uncomfortably quiet until― “I can’t believe you’re selling this house.” He shook his head and you rolled your eyes.  “Well, what do you expect me to do? It’s not like I live here, I haven’t lived here in ten years!” Jungkook sat closer to the edge of the couch.  “Maybe not now, but what about in, like, a couple of years when you get married and have kids, wouldn’t you want to settle down in a peaceful place like this?” He stated as if it was obvious.  “What makes you think I want kids? What makes you think I even want to get married?” You gave him a pointed look. And he was quiet, thinking for a while.  “Well, I assumed you were the type...” His voice was more hesitant.  “You assume a lot of things about me, apparently. Besides, if you’re so into the whole traditional family thing, why don’t you move back to town and all that jazz?” With that, Jungkook rested back against the couch, laughing bitterly and shaking his head.  “Me? No, no. I don’t believe in marriage.” It was your turn to scoff.  “And yet you were expecting me to believe in it?” You took a sip of your coffee. “No, I have no plans of getting married, my business is thriving and I’m making a shit load of money, I have no need for a man.” You looked down at your mug and Jungkook went quiet.  You flicked your gaze to him, confused at his silence, and you were met with an intense look right back at you.  “What?” You asked.  “Are you straight?” He asked, and you almost choked on your own spit.  “Why does it matter?!” You were appalled by his question.  “Well, are you attracted to men?” He continued.  “Yes!” You answered right back.  “So you don’t need men for anything?” He lifted a brow.  “I can’t seem to find your point here, Jungkook.” You argued.  “I’m saying if you’re attracted to men only, and I don’t want to assume, sexually speaking, you maybe can get by with a toy, maybe a very realistic dildo or a vibrator, but I take that it’s not like the real thing, so you’re not fully satisfied, therefore... You kinda do need men. Even if it’s just to get off.” He finished with the calmest expression ever and you were left with your eyes bulged and a slightly parted mouth.  You were speechless, not only because of how nonchalantly he said those things but because he had a point. Sure, you got yourself off pretty well here and there with toys, but a real, live human was irreplaceable to you. With your mouth opening and closing a few times, you blinked.  “If we’re talking about sex and sex only, then maybe, yes, I do need a man, but 90% of the time they don’t do it right anyway, so I rather resort to my toys. They’re also pretty quiet.” You rested your mug on the center table, lifting your legs and folding them besides you.  “You met the wrong kind of men.” He cockily says, and you notice then that he’s flirting. This was something you enjoyed. Flirting. You were pretty good at it too.  “And I assume you’re the right kind?” You teased back, and the lazy smirk that spread on him was devastatingly attractive.  “Would you like to find out?” He rests his mug right beside yours, sitting back again, and your eyes fell to the swell of his thighs. Surely they would feel delicious under your palms, or perhaps your heat, fuck, all of him would probably feel delicious, his large strong hands, his bulging muscles and you were pretty sure he wouldn’t disappoint in the downstairs department.  “I would like to know how you’re feeling.” You change the subject, watching him purse his lips and nod in understanding before he answers. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about sleeping with him, in fact, you had since the moment you laid eyes on him. But he was hurt, maybe still a little confused, and you surely didn’t want to take advantage of that.  “Feeling better, yeah. I don’t think I can walk back to my car, though.” He admits, eyes falling to the window to see the rain still resilient outside.  “We have spare rooms, you can stay the night, and tomorrow we can find a way to call for a repair or something like that to get your car from wherever you left it.”  He nodded, getting up and picking up the mugs before making his way to the kitchen where he left them both in the sink.  You showed him the way to the guest bedrooms, making sure you left him in one that was close enough to your old bedroom in case he felt sick during the night, and you being a night owl, would make sure to check on him during the night.  You gave him a fresh change of sheets and a towel in case he wanted to shower and said goodnight before moving to your room. It had been a while since you stepped foot in there, and it was all still exactly the same.  Your dark purple walls with posters, the pictures of your friends from high school hanging on the vanity mirror, you smiled fondly at one of you and Jungkook, maybe you were ten, nine, you couldn’t remember, but his large bunny-like teeth peeked out, one single hole showcasing his loss of one tooth. You sat down on the bed with a huff, a picture from the vanity flying off with the wind it caused, and you reached down to the floor to pick it up.  It was one of you and your grandmother.  Her large smile, so bright and powerful as it always was, leaning down with white gloves as she planted a flower right in the front garden of the house. You were right there beside her, wide smile as well, just as happy, as thrilled as you both planted new flowers to adorn the house. The same was in the background, full of life and so many memories that you felt a light tug at your heart. Maybe Jungkook was right... Maybe selling a hose as memorable as this one was a heartless act. But you brushed that thought away, placing the picture on the vanity counter and getting ready for bed.  You were hyper-aware of the man in the other room, one that had insinuated that he wanted to sleep with you only but a few minutes ago, but not because of that. You were hyper-aware of him in the other room as you finally felt a hard sob rip through your throat. Crying everything you hadn’t cried in the last three days. You tried muffling your cry, but it was too painful to do so. You would miss her and you regretted not visiting. You regretted how annoyed you seemed when she showed up to your apartment unannounced with her bags saying she “missed you and was spending the weekend” detouring whatever stupid plan you had. You regretted so much, but now it was too late to regret anything at all. She was gone. You were completely alone in this world. No parents, no family at all, not even a cousin, a boyfriend. Not even a real friend.  You fell asleep with silent sobs that night, and unknown to you, a very wide awake and hazy Jungkook hearing every moment of it with a weird feeling in his chest and body.  It wasn’t only because you were crying.  But because he couldn’t remember.  He couldn’t remember anything about his accident or anything before he knocked on your door.  Pancakes. Or maybe waffles, perhaps eggs. Yes, eggs and bacon. That’s what you smelled. And coffee, fresh-brewed coffee.  Your eyes gently fluttered open, the soft light seeping through the curtains in the room quickly reminding you where you were, and yet the smell of breakfast was all you could think of.  You rubbed your eyes, slipping on your flip-flops before slowly making your way out of your room, you quickly passed the room Jungkook had slept in, looking in to see it was as if no one had slept there at all and as you made your way downstairs slowly, the smell intensified.  You went around the kitchen wall only to be met by a shirtless Jungkook, the shirt you had given him hanging on his shoulders as he whistled to a song on your grandmother’s old radio and stirred some eggs on the frying pan. The low slide of your flip-flops against the hardwood floor had him turning his head towards you.  “Good morning!” He beamed with a bright smile.  Your eyes moved to the kitchen table, eggs, bacon, coffee, and... Pancakes? You were confused, very confused.  “Someone’s not a morning person.” Jungkook chuckled as he turned off the oven and pushed more eggs onto a plate in the center of the kitchen table. “Come on, sit down, have some coffee so you can function like a normal human being.”  You didn’t know what was more startling, the sight of pancakes when you clearly saw there was no food or the sight of a shirtless Jungkook cooking you breakfast as if you two had just slept together the night before.  You didn’t say anything, still confused and drowsy with sleep as you sat down, eyes flicking to Jungkook as he put his shirt back on to sit right beside you and start pouring you a cup of coffee.  “I’m...” You began, watching him pour himself some before reaching for the really well-done pancakes. “How did you...” “The pancakes?” He asked, and you nodded. “They’re vegan. I found some flour that wasn’t expired in the cabinet and some vanilla extract, made them with water and some oatmeal powder, oh and sugar!” He shrugged. “I actually work with vegan and vegetarian food. Not that I am either of those myself, but there is a huge place in the market for it. I make easily affordable meals for people who don’t have time to cook for themselves.” You rubbed your eyes slowly, reaching for the coffee mug and bringing it to your lips, taking a large sip before you sighed.  “That’s pretty useful, I’ve lost some clients in the past because my menus don’t offer them Vegetarian or Vegan options.” Your raspy voice spoke out.  “Menus?” He asked, brows furrowing.  “Yeah... I have a catering business. Weddings, parties, companies, even movie productions.” You began to explain. “I started with culinary school, wanted to become a chef, I kind of did, but I didn’t want to work at a restaurant where you have these really straight forward menus, I wanted to do something different, even fun.” You reached for a single piece of bacon. “So, my menu also caters to children, we have gourmet corn dogs, sweet popcorn, some over the top hamburgers.” You smiled, bringing the food to your mouth and taking a bite of it.  “Just like your grandma, huh?” He said and your eyes moved to him.  You had never made that connection before. But now that he pointed it out, he was right.  You remember you and your grandmother cooking several fun meals all day. Baking cakes, pies, making savory snacks for when your friends came over. And your birthday parties always had a little something different, and it was all your grandmother’s doing.  “Yeah, I guess...” You chewed, reaching for the vegan pancake, not really trusting it would taste good with the ingredients he had mentioned.  But to your surprise, as soon as you cut a piece and put it in your mouth, the loud moan you let out would have been lewd if not for Jungkook’s loud chuckle as he watched you eat his cooking.  “What the fuck, this is delicious!” You almost screamed, digging in more.  “And it’s healthy too.” He lifted his cup.  “Fuck, fuck... So fucking good.” You continued the moans of gastronomical pleasure.  “Not going to lie, it’s kind of hot watching you lose your shit over my cooking.” He chuckled, and you gave him a pointed look, rolling your eyes before going back to the pancake.  “Jesus fuck, Jungkook, this is amazing, we should totally work together sometime, I have so many clients that would pay big fucking bucks for healthy, vegan meals like this.” You offered, already finishing the pancake.  “Yeah? I could use the cash, business is good but it could be better.” You smiled at him, still chewing, and just as you were about to speak the radio beamed with what you recognized as a hurricane alert.  “Seems like we have a hurricane heading towards the town in about one day or two, all main roads are closed for the time being, we advise everyone to stay in their homes, stock on food and water. Do not go outside under any circumstances, I repeat, do not go outside under any circumstances.“  You and Jungkook shared a concerned look, and he pursed his lips.  “I should probably find a way to get to town...” And just as he said that a bright flash of lighting had you bulging your eyes and a loud rumble of thunder shook the house, heavy, aggressive rain pouring outside in a matter of seconds.  Jungkook looked at you and you pursed your lips.  “Or maybe not.” You said right before the lights flickered and you heard the refrigerator turn off. “Great.” You chuckled and Jungkook shook his head.  “I’m really out of luck, I bet my car is already fucked by now.” He sighed, resting his head in his hands.  “If you have insurance your car will be fine.” You said standing up to test the lights before confirming the power was off and heading for the kitchen drawers, looking for candles.  “We don’t have any more food or water,” Jungkook interjected, watching you bring two packs of candles and leave them on the table. It was still pretty illuminated in the house, despite the dark clouds making it seem like the sun was already setting.  “I, well, we do, actually, my grandmother has a bunker I guess, she has a lot of canned foods and stuff like that, also a shit load of water, we should be good.” You informed, walking back to the table, noticing that Jungkook’s hair was wet.  “Did you take a shower?” You asked, and Jungkook furrowed his brows in confusion.  “Your hair is wet.” You said as you sat down.  His hand moves up to his hair, running his fingers through the damp locks.  “Oh... I guess they just take a long time to dry.” He shrugged, and you gave him a look of confusion before finishing your breakfast.  “You don’t mind me staying?” He asked after you both finished eating, you were at the sink, washing the dishes as he sat on the kitchen counter right beside you, watching.  “Honestly, what’s a couple more days gonna do. Besides, I would probably shit my pants if I had to go through a hurricane in the dark by myself.” Jungkook lifted his brow at that.  “So... Another thing you need a man for other than getting off?” He gave you a smug look.  You rolled your eyes at him, spraying some water onto him. “No! Company doesn’t necessarily require a man, Jungkook.” You answered, finally finishing the dishes, placing them to dry. “And you seem to be obsessed with the idea of me getting off.” You dried your hands and looked at him, leaning on your hands on the counter.  There it was. That lazy, charming smirk of his. One that honestly had your panties twisting.  “You want me to lie?” He cocked his head.  “You’re outrageous.” You chuckled, turning your back to him and taking a few steps before you were stopped by a cold hand on your upper arm.  It wasn’t a tight grip, if anything, it was a gentle one.  He was already on his feet, tugging you back to him, and the little huff you let out once your body fell flush against his had him smiling wider, your hands resting on his chest.  “You know what’s outrageous?” His hands slipped down your arms gently to rest on your hips, it was almost as if he was hesitant to touch you, waiting for consent, as his silky voice spoke, his back rested against the counter, legs slightly parted for you to slot yourself in the middle. “The fact that I know I can make you cum so hard and good that your legs stop working and you’re here pretending you don’t know.” That had a blush spreading on your cheeks, a loud swallow almost inaudible because of the hard rain hitting the window just behind him.  “How would I really know, though? You seem like a teller, not a shower.” You teased back, already feeling heat cripple down your body. You could feel his firm body against yours, even if you weren’t exactly pressed to him and his hands rested gently on your hips. You moved your gaze up. Even a little slouched down he towered over you, eyes glossy and full of intention, and that smirk. That freaking smirk.  His pink tongue came out to flicker over his bottom lip, your gaze following it before moving back to his dark eyes.  “May I?” His gaze moved to the hands on your hips and you blinked slowly up at him, nodding once.  What was once a hesitant touch to your hips became a hard, deliciously painful grip. Thumbs digging into the dip of your hip bone and pulling your hips into him, your middle gently rubbing against his. Your lips parted as you gently let your head fall back, giving him an opening even you weren’t aware of in your clouded judgement. And soon, lips were on the expanse of your neck. Soft, damp lips, grazing your skin and sending ripples of goosebumps down your body, eliciting soft whimpers from your parted lips.  “The things I’ll do to you...” He whispered against your skin, parting his lips to gently nip at the curve of your neck and jawline. It was as if you were entranced, truly. His body, words, touch was like a magnet to you, unable to even think properly as he littered his way up with gentle kisses, sucking softly at your skin once you whimpered at a rather sensitive spot.  “Jungkook...” You whimpered out and he rolled his hips into you at the sound of his name, clearly pleased with how it sounded coming from you.  Your arms quickly moved to wrap around his neck as he made his way up, more and more, lips tracing your jawline all the way to your chin before he hovered right against your lips, eyes almost shut as he looked at the ultimate surrendering look on your face.  Your eyes opened into slits, looking back at the intense gaze he was giving you, lips almost aching with the want to be kissed, you wanted to kiss him so bad, no... You needed to kiss him. It was almost as if you were desperate.  “Do you want me to kiss you, sweetheart?” His breath fanned against your lips, warm and smelling of coffee.  Just as you were about to answer, another bright flash of lightning blinded you for a second before the violent rumble of thunder shook the house.  You squealed, it was so close and Jungkook, despite his manly frame also had bulging eyes as he looked around, watching the lamps shake slightly.  “Shit, that was a close one.” He let out under his breath. You could feel something poking against the edge of your stomach and suddenly you didn’t feel in the mood to make out with him, but rather protect yourself.  “You think we should go to the bunker?” You asked, looking back at him with wide eyes and a slight pout on your lips.  He was so endeared. You looked just like you did when you were a child, scared of whatever it was, and he sighed, despite the arousal still very clear in his eyes.  “Yeah, we can go to the bunker. Can you grab some blankets and pillows? I’ll grab your bag and the candles.” He informed and you nodded, quickly making your way up the stairs.  The “bunker” was actually the basement, with concrete walls and with shelves filled with canned foods and gallons of water along with medicine. There were two sleeping bags, one that was meant for you and another that was meant for your grandmother, and as you laid them down, placing the pillows and blankets on them, Jungkook was strategically placing the candles around the room, using a lighter he found in a drawer to light them. When he was done, he went up the little stairs to close the door, the strong lock making a loud nose. He made his way back to the candlelit room, you were already seated, with crossed legs on one of the sleeping bags, eyes a little wide as you heard rumble after rumble of thunder.  “It’s really pouring out there.” He said as he sat down beside you, trying to ease you a little.  “I don’t remember going into this bunker since... I don’t even remember.” You admitted, taking in a deep breath. “It’s... Scary.”  “What is, the bunker?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. You pursed your lips.  “No... I guess... It’s scary not knowing what’s going to happen. We can be here and think we’re safe, but the whole house can fall on us and then poof... We’re gone. That’s scary.” You swallowed at the thought.  Jungkook nodded, understanding what you meant.  “I think... Death isn’t meant to be scary. It’s the not knowing that is scary.” He said, and you looked at him, watching him look ahead as if rearranging his thoughts. “Some believe in heaven and hell, others believe in reincarnation, I think it’s all in an effort to give them some peace, fear death a little less.” He nodded, and you brought your knees to your chest.  “What do you believe in?” You asked, resting your cheek on your knees, looking at him. He thought for a few seconds, nibbling on his lower lip.  “I don’t know. I want to believe that when we die... We go to a place where all our loved ones are waiting for us, where we find peace and we can choose to either live in peace or go back and do it all over again.” He looked at you. “But I can’t really believe in that when I’m just as terrified of dying as I am of being alive.” His brows furrowed and so did yours. “Like... What if I die alone? What if I die forgotten somewhere, in the cold, all by myself? What if I die knowing that I accomplished so many financial things in life but not... Emotional? No one to love, no one to be loved by. That terrifies me.”  “Not being loved?” You asked, and he shook his head.  “Dying as alone as I lived.” And that hit you like a ton of bricks.  You and Jungkook were so alike it was really frightening.  You were also alone, having conquered so many things in life. With your own business, money, success. But at the end of a busy day, you went home and you were alone. Alone with yourself and your silence. And you didn’t notice until now how lonely you were.  “At least here... If anything happens, I know I won’t die alone. I’ll die with my childhood best friend and honestly, someone I really want to get to know better.” He looked at you again with a smile and you never felt so comforted.  Your grandmother didn’t die alone. Even if you had spent most of your years away from her, even if you had only come back to this town to hold her hand one last time before she took her final breath. You were there, and so were her friends. She wasn’t alone. And even if you didn’t know what happened after, you’d like to believe that she was with your father and mother, hugging each other again, your grandmother filling them in on how well you had grown up. Smiling fondly back at him you both were quiet for a while, still hearing the thunder outside, but now it was less scary to you.  “I think we have some cards here somewhere.” You said standing up and rummaging through a drawer, Jungkook threw his head back with a grunt.  “Ugh, thank god, I was already starting to think we were going to die of boredom down here.” He chuckled, and you scoffed.  “Good to know my company bores you, Jungkook.” You found the pack of cards making your way back to the pile of blankets you had made.  “Please, you’re far from boring. If anything you’re really fucking interesting. Really proud of who you grew up to be, even if you can be a heartless bitch that wants to sell her childhood home so it can become a strip club.” He quirked a brow with a teasing grin and you slapped his arm.  “Oh, shut up. I’m not sure I’m going to sell the house anymore, I might have other plans.” You said without looking at him, taking the cards out. “Do you know how to play poker?” You asked flashing him a grin.  He raised a brow.  “Can we make it interesting?” And you squinted at him with his lazy smirk that made you tingle.  “Is it something kinky?” You asked with a tilt of your head.  “Definitely.” He winked, and you rolled your eyes before giving in.  “Fine, whatever, you pervert.”  If you had known Jungkook was this good at poker, you probably wouldn’t have agreed on making it strip poker, because now you were in your bra and panties, no socks on and he was only but socks and shirt down.  You want to blame your loss on his exposed chest, your eyes unable to focus on anything other than his ripped abs, but in reality, Jungkook was just really good at poker and his annoying cocky smirk and those strong arms draped over his legs only made you more annoyed ― and turned on. “Royal flush. Lose the bra.” He set his cards down giving you a very pointed look. Your mouth fell agape because you really weren’t expecting this at all. For a second, you thought about ending the game, but the way his eyes roamed down your half-naked body really made heatwaves rush down your spine. Placing your cards down, you let your tongue flick over your lower lip, his eyes didn’t miss that as he watched your hands move to your back to unclasp your bra. There was a look of anticipation in his eyes, glossy lids focused on your chest as you let the straps fall down your shoulders, your eyes focused on him before you slowly peel the undergarment off, exposing your perked nipples.  His jaw clenched at the sight of your exposed breasts, eyes moving all over to take them in, and there was a slow almost shaky exhale coming from him, making you pant slightly. The sexual tension in the air was as thick as the rumbling clouds in the sky. You were almost bare for him, and he loved that. Loved that he was getting the chance to see you, all for himself. You leaned back on your hands, your breasts arching forward, bouncing slightly and there was almost an animalistic growl bubbling in him.  “Take off your panties.” He breathed out, commanded, asked, you really didn’t care. There was no game anymore, that you knew for sure, and one single hand moved down to tug at the side of your underwear gently, pushing it down before you pushed the other side, sliding it down your legs. You let the fabric rest along with your bra, your heat still covered by your thighs before you bent your knees up to your chest, looking at him with lust-filled eyes. You loved the way he was looking at you, with so much want and so much desire it almost clogged your lungs. And he waited patiently, his own chest slightly heaving up and down before you slowly parted your legs for him to see all of you.  Fully bare and spread for him.  “Fuck.” He cursed out, and you knew that if he didn’t swallow thickly, his mouth would have pooled with drool. You could feel his heavy gaze fixed on your heat and you knew he could see it glisten as the candles flickered.  “Fuck, please, please can I touch you?” He breathed out, one hand already placed on the blankets in front of him, ready to crawl to you. The desperation in his voice almost made your hands falter.  “Yes, yes, do anything you want with me.” You spoke out just as breathless. And before you even had a chance to breathe back in, he was on you. Slotted right between your legs and hungry, desperate mouth on yours, you whimpered into his mouth, tongue flicking out to find his. He tasted so divine, so heavenly and you let yourself lay back on the blankets as he kissed you like it was the last time. Passionate, tender even, but messy and wet. He grunted against your lips as his hips rolled into your slit, you could feel the outline of his hardened length against your bare heat and your eyes rolled back at the delicious rub. Your hands moved to his hair, fingers tangling in between his locks. They were still wet. But you were less focused on that, and rather focused on his hot breath against your lips, sweet taste on your tongue, and the way his body rolled into you so expertly.  He pulled away only to latch them onto your neck, kissing and sucking harshly at your skin, probably leaving bruises in his path down your body. He didn’t relent when he met your breasts, sucking one perked nipple into his mouth with a deep vibrating groan that rippled down your body, sending shivers down your spine.  You arched into his mouth, whimpering softly as little shocks of pleasure shot straight to your core.  “Jungkook.” You whimpered out and his brows furrowed, hips rolling into you harder as he let your nipple go with a lewd pop.  “Fuck, I love it when you say my name like that, sounds so perfect.” He whispered against your skin, moving his lips down your middle, kissing just below your navel and you know where he’s headed, already parting your legs further for him.  “Good girl.” You barely catch the whispered praise, but as you do, you feel your cheeks blushing furiously, heart picking up in rate.  A loud moan rips right out of you, fingers gripping at the blankets once you feel his mouth wrap around your nub. He sucks it into his mouth softly, tongue swirling around and under it, making you choke out whimpers and moans at the intense pleasure. If anything, he seemed like a fucking pro, letting your nub free only to flatten his tongue, dipping the tip into your aching entrance before lapping up your slit to suck your clit right back into his mouth with a deep groan in his chest.  Your arousal was all over him, lips, chin, tongue. And you loved how messy it looked, how completely hungry he seemed to be buried in your cunt. The soft sucks to your clit became more frequent, tongue swirling it around inside his mouth and you let out a high pitched whimper, signaling he was at the perfect spot. Jungkook was a good listener, and he was adamant in making you cum, more than once. He sucked harder and harder, both hands moving to spread your legs wider, thumbs so close to the edges of your entrance as he spread it open, the ache becoming more unbearable as it stretched slightly. With just a few more sucks you let your head fall back and back arch off the blankets, legs shaking violently before a hard wave of pleasure washed down your body. Vision flashing white and extremities tingling, you couldn’t feel your legs. Your empty core clenched around nothing and he could feel it with the edge of his thumbs so close to your entrance.  He sucked softly again, riding your orgasm before he pulled away completely, only peppering small kisses over your swollen clit, watching you flinch slightly in overstimulation. You finally relaxed, back meeting the blankets once again and droopy eyes searching for him as you felt him crawl up over your body.  The lazy smirk accompanied by cum coated lips and chin was way more than you were prepared for and you whined at the sight, tilting your head up to capture his lips. He only chuckled, pulling away to tease you.  “You taste like fucking heaven.” He whispered, still pulling away every time you tried to catch his lips. “Would you like to taste yourself, sweetheart?” You nodded with a pout and he leaned in, tongue breaching your lips as he kissed you slowly, sensually, letting your cum coat your tongue as well, and you whimpered at your taste, making him pull away with a groan.  “Fuck, I want to taste you more, please?” He asked, brows furrowed and your hand moved down in between your bodies to cup his hard bulge. Palm rubbing at it back and forth. His eyes fluttered as he let his head fall at the delicious rub of your palm.  “I want your cock.” You whispered, and he took in a deep  breathe, exhaling shakily. “Please? Please, Jungkook, please?” You begged, breathy voice, a little hoarse from your loud moans, and who the fuck was he to deny you of anything at this point. He was completely under whatever spell you had on him.  He pushed his sweats down along with the black brief boxers he had under and his cock sprung up to hit against his stomach.  You were right. He surely didn’t disappoint in the downstairs department. If anything, he was impressive. Thick and long, large veins adorning his hard length, the tip glistening with pre-cum. He was massive. You even questioned if you could take him at all, and the slight doubt on your face had him chuckling.  “We’ll go slow, I promise.” He said in reassurance before he positioned himself at your entrance. He pushed slowly, and you felt your entrance stretch around him just as slow, the first inches were the hardest part, and once you felt that “pop” from his tip it was smooth sailing from there, your core stretching around his thick girth with a slight burn, he grunted as he slowly bottomed out, stilling as he panted, resting his forehead on yours, being careful not to press his wound onto you.  “Can I move, sweetheart?” He asked softly, clearly strained, his hands moving to find yours, interlocking his fingers with yours right beside your head. You nodded at him, feeling so full your eyes rolled to the back of your head. “Good girl.” He said a little louder this time, pulling out only to roll his hips into you with a breathless groan. The praise along with the thrust had your core clenching around him, making him hiss at the tight fit.  “Fuck, so good.” He breathed out, starting a slow, steady grind of his hips in and out of you, cock twitching so deep inside, you could feel him in your cervix.  “H-harder.” You whispered and Jungkook snapped his hips into you without warning, eliciting a loud, high-pitched moan from you.  “Like that, baby?” He questioned, moving his lips to the shell of your ear. You whined and he let out an airy chuckle, biting down on his lower lip as he pulled back only to snap them forward harder this time.  Your body bucked with each hard snap of his hips, his hands moving from yours to rest beside your head, hold himself up as the other moved to wrap gently around your neck, your entrance clenched harder at it.  “Oh, what a surprise.” He breathlessly teased. “The heartless bitch likes to be fucked like a whore.” And you wish you were mad at it, but truly, you did. You liked it rough and dirty just as much as you liked it slow and passionate.  “Good thing I’m a pro at it.” He gave you that cocky smirk before he started a relentless pace into you, hips snapping so hard your breasts bounced with each powerful thrust, feeling him hit deep into your core over and over.  “Such a sweet girl...” He spoke as he fucked you, grip tightening around your throat. “Making mud pies, playing hide and seek and getting fucked by her childhood friend in the basement of her childhood home, full fucking circle.” He snapped them hard with a grunt, making you reach out to latch your nails to his shoulders.  “That’s it, baby, feel my cock deep inside of you, feel it drag in and out of that sweet, tight cunt. Feel every ridge, every vein, make yourself cum all over it like you do with those pathetic toys.” He growled out. You already expected Jungkook to be a dirty talker, you just didn’t expect him to be this fucking good at it. “Just like that, yeah? Fuck, if it were for me you’d never use a fucking toy again, only my cock, I’d fill you up every fucking second of the day, creaming this tight pussy over and over as if it was made for me.” You clenched tight as his grip tightened, feeling your second high already creeping in on you. God, he was so good. “Fuck, scratch that, this little pussy was made for me, you’re all mine, all fucking mine.” He closed his eyes, getting lost in the sensations of your tight, hot walls hugging his length, deliciously rubbing against his cock as he fucked into you again and again.  “Say it.” His strained out breathy voice blurted out, and you didn’t need him to explain to know.  “I-I’m y-yours, Jungkook, all y-yours.” You were sure you had broken skin by now, your nail digging and scratching as you felt your high approach you at an unforgiving speed.  “That’s a good fucking girl.” And there it was, the praise again. And that alone seemed to send your high ripping through your body aggressively. Choked out sobs and shaking body making you unable to think and even Jungkook was surprised when you came, holding you in place as you let it wash over you, blinding your vision and making the slide of his cock even more smooth. The choked out broken whimpers and moans were music to his ears as he felt you clench over and over around his length, his brows furrowing as he concentrated on the feeling while helping you ride your second high. He slowed his unforgiving pace back down to a slow grind of his cock, the hand around your throat moving to interlock your fingers again as the other one gently soothed you, clearing the wild locks away from your face, he shushed your quiet sobs as he leaned down to kiss the tears― even you didn’t know you let fall down ― away. It was so tender, so gentle, you weren’t used to that from someone that was only but a one time lover.  But was Jungkook only but a lover?  He was your childhood friend. And sure, it had been a long time since you had seen him, and to some people that would make you strangers, but you weren’t strangers, in fact, you knew each other very well. He knew that you chewed on your lower lip when you were nervous. You knew that his eyes went wide and dear-like when he was surprised. He knew that you hated storms and the rain. And you knew that he had always protected you since you were kids.  His brows were furrowed as he rested his forehead against yours again, you could tell he was close, could tell he was only savoring the pleasure as his lips parted to let out a low, deep whimper of his own.  His eyes opened to look straight at you, it was so personal. So intimate. And right when he was there at the edge, he leaned down to capture your lips in a messy, uncoordinated kiss as you felt his cock twitching inside of you, spilling his hot cum deep within. His breath was so harsh an aggressive coming from of his nose and he couldn’t kiss you for long as groan after groan left him and he came. Fuck, he was even hotter when he came. You were doomed.  It took him a few minutes before he finally stopped. Breathing harshly before he rolled off of you, laying beside you.  You both went quiet for a few minutes, only catching your breaths before he turned his head to you, a lazy smile spread on it.  “Told you so.” He let out a cocky smirk.  “You’re outrageous.” You scoffed at him and he reached out, pulling you flush against his side. You rested your head on his damp chest, both of you flushed and fucked out. There was a quiet moment where you both just looked at it each other, it was as if time stops, as if everything made sense right there, right at that moment. It felt like home. He felt like home. Just like this house. Peaceful. And if death was anything like this, you’d gladly die.  “I know this is really weird... But I really feel like telling you I love you right now.” He admitted with a loud swallow, Adam’s apple bopping. Your heart did something you weren’t aware it could do. “Maybe it’s the after-sex haze, but I really feel like saying it back.” You said too, cheeks blushing slightly at your admittance.  “I love you.” He whispered out. And you were surprised by how it didn't feel weird, by how it didn’t sound foreign. It was as if you heard it a thousand times before, but also as if it were the first time and truly, it was. But it felt... Real.  “I love you.” You said it back and his lips spread into a wide smile.  Maybe he felt it too, felt how familiar it sounded, how... Fitting it was.  And maybe it wasn’t love at all, maybe it was just the afterglow of sex and that was ok, you’d both deal with it later. Right now you just wanted to bask in this feeling, nothing outside really mattered. Not even the rumbling of the thunder still roaring in the sky.  “God, I suddenly feel really fucking tired.” He huffed out, and you chuckled.  “You can sleep if you want.” You said but Jungkook’s brows furrowed, his once damp skin suddenly turned ice cold against you and you gasped.  “Jungkook?” You called, but he still had his brows furrowed, his lips suddenly changing shades. You sat up, looking down at his naked body, he was shaking, trembling so violently it felt like he was possessed. His skin had turned pale even under the yellow glow of the candles. And you watched the gauze on his head turn crimson red, taking over the whole thing.  “Jungkook!” You called louder, but the boy only moaned as if in pain.  Reaching out for the gauze, your fingers brush his hair.  They were soaked, dripping onto the blankets as if he was right under pouring water. Your eyes bulged, so confused at what was happening.  “Y-Y/N?” He called out your name and your trembling hands cupped his ice-cold face.  “Jungkook? I’m here, I’m right here, tell me what’s happening!” You desperately asked.  His eyes opened slightly, and you felt like you were breaking into a million pieces at the pure sadness in them.  “Please... Find me. I don’t want to die alone.” He whispered out, and you were even more confused at his statement. Desperately trying to understand but not wanting to stay still, turning your back to him, you hurridly got dressed, looking through the drawers desperatly for something to clean his wound, and just as you turned back to him there was no one there. Your eyes bulged, your heart racing.  What was happening? What was going on? You looked at the door, it was still sealed shut, there was no way he could have gotten up and opened it in the state he was. There was no way you wouldn’t have heard him! “Jungkook?!” You called for him as you made your way up the stairs and out of the basement.  You roamed the house, desperation laced in your voice, on your face in the tears that― unknown to you ― streamed down your face.  You looked for his clothes that you put to dry in the laundry, there was nothing there. But the food was there, you ran to the mirror and his marks were there.  Please... Find me. I don’t want to die alone. That was what he had said.  And even if nothing made sense right now, even if reason and logic weren’t on your side, your brain worked at full capacity, head aching, throbbing, knees falling to the floor as your hands came in between your hair. You wanted to scream. What was happening, what was happening, what did he mean?  I lost control of my car down on the secluded road somewhere...  Your eyes bulged at the memory, maybe... Just maybe that’s where Jungkook was. Maybe he had gone back for his car, maybe... Just maybe you weren’t going insane.  The storm roared outside, the hurricane now at its peak, but something inside you roared louder, no matter how crazy you felt.  You didn’t even bother to put on your shoes, grabbing your car keys and going out in the absolute havoc of a storm, soaking wet and shivering cold you got in your car with a struggle as the wind was strong against you. Turning the engine on, it took a few turns and a few punches to your wheel for it to finally come to life.  You were a good driver, but in these conditions, even the most skilled driver could die. You didn’t care, something deep inside of you screamed that you were running out of time.  You drove in the pouring rain and wild aggressive wind unable to properly see as you sobbed uncontrollably trying to remember where the secluded road was. It was a shortcut people always took when they wanted to get from the farms back to town quicker instead of taking the highway. It was also up a mountain with a lot of trees. Bumpy roads and slippery, muddy tracks. You drove regardless, making your way up the mountain road, mud making your tires turn falsely here and there, but you relented, and you drove, cursing out loudly.  “Where the fuck are you?!” You screamed before you saw on the horizon a black car, clumped down the hill a little, the front smashed straight into a tree, you drove until you were close enough, sprinting out of your car as you ran to his.  “Jungkook!” You screamed as you reached the driver’s door. The windows were shattered, rain falling into the car and there he was, unconscious, the cut still very much there, unattended in the same clothes you had met him in. You tried opening the door, but it seemed jammed. And you screamed in frustration as you hit the car a few times before trying again, pulling as hard as you could, kicking the sides to try to make it budge.  Your free hand moved to grip at the edge of the shattered window, broken glass digging into your flesh, but you were filled with adrenaline and dread, pure dread.  Jungkook was dying.  You gave all you had until you finally felt the door budge, swinging open and almost throwing you back. You stumbled in the hard rain, the wind blowing so hard against you, you felt like you could fly away as you reached into the car, undoing his seat belt before wrapping your arms around his middle.  You were small compared to Jungkook. And even if now you were questioning if anything that had happened in the last day was real or just some sort of feverish dream, you knew he was heavy, you pulled him out of the car with a lot of effort, grunting as he flopped down on the muddy floor.  You leaned over him, seeing his lips blue, his cut still very much bleeding. Your shaking hands reached for his pressure point, searching for a pulse and you concentrated, feeling it so faint against your fingers. He didn’t have much time.  You dragged him to your car, slipping as you used all your force to get him there, but somehow you did, somehow you were able to open your back seat and push him inside. You didn’t even know you had it in you.  And fuck did you drive. You drove fast, knowing it took at least ten to twenty minutes from the secluded road to the town hospital, and in this weather, it was harder to drive up the mountain, but you did, you drove fast and relentless and once you made it to the hospital it all happened too fast.  The nurses and doctors rushing to pull Jungkook out of the car, lay him on the stretcher. Your bloody hand wiping your hair out of your face as you followed them in.  But you couldn’t hear anything. You couldn’t hear the questions, you couldn’t hear the shouts.  All you could see was Jungkooks’ almost lifeless body, so pale and fragile. Fuck... You... You kissed him. You touched him, didn’t you? You... You said you loved him.  Was it your imagination? How... How would you imagine this, how would you imagine where he was, that he was hurt? It didn’t make sense to you.   “Miss! How long has he been unconscious?!” The nurse yelled, taking you out of your racing thoughts.  “Since... Around seven pm yesterday.” You mumbled out, still walking with them, watching them put wires, tubes, oxygen on him. That’s all you could really think, that Jungkook was never really there, that he had been unconscious in his car since the moment he knocked on your door.  “Are you his wife, family?” She asked, and you shook your head.  “I’m... I’m his childhood friend.” You almost couldn’t speak.  “I’m going to have someone take a look at your hand, you’re going to have to stay here.”  And just like that, he was gone. Past the double doors.  You waited.  Even after someone had come and sutured your hand, you waited, soaked, cold. You waited, even after you saw Jungkook’s father storm in between the hospital doors. Even after he had spoken to you, thanked you for saving his son after all these years.  You waited until the storm was gone, nothing but a light breeze and scattered leaves outside on the wet asphalt. You waited until he woke up and the nurse had told you he didn’t remember you.  You waited until his father said that he didn’t feel comfortable having someone he hadn’t seen in sixteen years wait for him at the hospital. He didn’t remember.  Of course, he didn’t remember.  Jungkook was stuck unconscious in a car for 24 hours and you? You were visited by someone, something urging you to save his life. And you didn’t really spend any more time wondering if it was really him, perhaps his spirit, perhaps his consciousness. You didn’t even waste your time wondering why you. Wondering why put you through something so painful, no matter what it was. In the end, it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Jungkook was safe, alive. And whatever supernatural thing had happened that allowed you to save him... You were thankful.  Two weeks had gone by since everything. The house extremely quiet as you packed your grandmother’s things slowly, not one drop of rain to keep you from doing anything at all. In the end, you had moved all of her things to the attic, deciding to maybe spend some time here, take a break from work. You didn’t allow yourself to think about Jungkook or try to explain what had happened. You had spent the first few nights crying yourself to sleep as nothing made sense, but the excruciating pain still haunted you. It hurt that he didn’t remember.  Sighing as you looked at the rough drawing of the renovations you wanted to make to the house in front of you, you reached for your mug of coffee. The afternoon sun coming through the windows and making the whole place seem cozy.  You were also baking some cookies, deciding to keep the house as you remembered it. Something always in the oven. And you had tried a new recipe, vegan. Testing out to see if they worked, if they would taste as good as... You brushed the thought away, focusing on the paper in front of you.  It was three loud knocks that brought you out of your thought. You wondered if it were perhaps a neighbor, or maybe even the delivery boy coming to bring you the groceries you had called earlier for. But you gasped once you opened the door. “Jungkook.” You whispered out, surprise and dread written all over your face.  He looked just a good as he did that day. The cut on his head now almost healed completely.  “Uh, hey. Y/N, right?” He sounded shy, hesitant. One hand coming to rub the back of his neck.  But the way he had said it only made your heart break, he really didn’t remember. “I was heading back to town, but... My dad told me that you were the one that saved my life so... I wanted to stop by to thank you, I guess. This is really awkward for me.” He nervously said. “Y-you’re Y/N, right?” “You seriously don’t recognize me, Jungkook?” You swallowed the lump in your throat, repeating the same words he had said to you that day.  “I’m sorry, it’s... It’s been a really long time. You look really different.” He pursed his lips.  “Y-yeah, that’s me... And... There r-really is no need to thank me. I’m glad you’re s-safe and ok.” You swallowed harder, nodding at him. Jungkook swallowed before he took in a deep breath, brows furrowing right after as his nostrils flared.  “Are you baking cookies?” He smiled, hands coming into his pockets. He was more relaxed now it seemed.  You pursed your lips, a soft smile spreading on them.  “Would you like to come in and try them? They’re vegan.”  The end.  N/a: Now that you read it, yes, it’s based of Charlie St. Cloud. I freaking LOVE that movie. I hope you enjoyed this fic! <3

[ctl-yuejie]

ep 13. kinnporsche - spoilers

I shouldn't laugh but it was pretty hilarious how he slapped that plate out of Vegas hand

also very much in favor of how messed up vegas pete are

Peter knight

slightly confused at how kinn seemingly is okay with his dad wanting to take more control again

i really enjoy kinn and porsche and the overall wholesomeness and also the delicious undercurrent of tension

Bible and Vegas continue to excel

I will defend himbo porsche with everything I have but tankhun was so right to set kinn straight

omg VegasPete are a lot but oh wow is this an excellent dynamic (Bible and Build are fucking eating this scene)

Hello, I love being right about vegaspete and what the show is going for. 10 points for me and 11 for Pete for being a badass mf

I both can and cannot believe thankuns choice in mourning robes

I have become used to the tone changes but this funeral really is sth

lovely that we are keeping porsche afraid of ghost

I didn't know I wanted it but that call back to porsche feeling abused. oh god, Pete is breaking heart

awwww, baby porché making me said. awwww, now Kim is also all in his emotions . why don't you stay continues to be a gorgeous song. barcode really nails the romantic earnestness...oh god these two brothers so desperately in need of feeling loved...ahhhh....

the vegas pete destruction is really hitting the best places.

I only agree with taking him to yok if she gets Pete a way to relax. cannot be mad at tankhun for making it about himself

OH YES!

OH NO!

I mean, yes to the mess but oh boy....porsche please don't.

this is a changed vegas, but not sure as to in what direction

PORSCHE AHHHH from what you know you should've never brought Pete here

Build looks fucking amazing

don't like porsche for this but also: hello to this scene.

for some reason this vegaspete scene is giving me the weirdest twist on romeo and julie vibe

(sidebar: why is Porsche still in the bodyguard outfit, someone explain, unless Kinn has a kink)

ah, it is this scene. love how tasteful they go about the nude scenes. the lowkey sad instrumental is sending me. Apo and Mile are so great at kissing it is a delight.

porsche leaving that cute smiley on the card, dork

Peter Knight! Here again to distract the youngsters from going against Korns plan

Vegas is such a snake but I live for his face when he watches porsche and his uncle having their row

trauma aside I love that vegas has to take care of porsche and gets confronted with the Kinn Pete duo just a good excursion all around.

we end on a classic soap opera twist, love this show

edit: cannot believe that I forgot - just like the show - that Big still didn't get a funeral

[samwontshare]

Okay so I rewatched parts of Endgame to write a Sambucky fic. I haven’t seen this movie since the theaters and then S8 ep 3 Game of Thrones destroyed my life.

-The fact that The Snap took Hawkeye’s entire family way outsides the odds proves how much the universe just hates Hawkeye.

-I forgot how much I fucking love Nebula. I want more Nebula and Rhodey. Bucky and Nebula would get on, too. Disabled superheroes club unite.

-I did like the beginning of Endgame. Everyone was just so wrecked and they played it so well. Thanos living his best life in his cottage. That was great.

-I still genuinely do not understand why Steve looks at Peggy’s picture when he’s talking about bringing everyone back from the Snap because he ‘doesn’t know what he’ll do otherwise.’ Like does she represent everyone he’s lost, like Sam and Bucky, his closest connections that are actually dead from the Snap? It doesn’t make sense.

-Is that Steve running a support group because he asked himself, “What would Sam do?”

-This was actually the best scene dealing w the fallout of the Snap. The MCU was definitely not ready to address the full scope of what The Blip means and you see that lack of follow through in every movie/series post Endgame.

-Steve Rogers: “You gotta move on.” UNLESS

-“...Thanos should’ve killed all of us.” I think this is the reason Steve goes back in time, honestly. The Snap just broke him. Without Sam and Bucky, with the enormity of this failure, Steve just lost his ability to cope. Steve has always needed someone to save him from himself but they’re gone. Even though they get most people back, they still lost Tony and Nat and 5 years. Steve can’t win. And Steve Rogers cannot cope with losing. So he rewrites a history where he wins. I don’t even think it’s about not being able to get over Peggy (though they did try to shoehorn that in hard), it was about Steve needing to be in control of his life again.

-It’s one of those situations where I can understand the character’s individual choice, but from a storytelling and narrative perspective, it doesn’t make sense with the story they were telling in the Captain America movies and it’s deeply unsatisfying and confusing. It leaves so many questions and potential consequences. I wasn’t even in this fandom at the time and had zero opinions on any ships, and I was like “this makes no sense.” It still doesn’t. But you know what good for Steggy shippers, ya’ll really won. Stucky fandom, as someone who had to watch Game of Thrones S8 wreck my fandom life, I feel you. My deepest sympathies.

Anyway I skipped to the end after the support group scene. Dammit here we go:

Had to watch the final battle. Cause I had to hear Sam say on your left.

I still lowkey ship Tony/Strange

What you don’t see in the finale battle is where Sam and Bucky keep saving each other. That happened.

The backflips they had to go through to explain why Carol Danvers doesn’t end this movie in 5 minutes. Lol

Tony Stark takes no prisoners. RIP coerced alien soldiers. I have a hard time believing they couldn’t have saved Tony between a portal to Wakanda and magic but fine heroic moving death it is.

Sam didn’t have to go that hard and put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. But he did.

Okay the finale scene with Sam, Steve and Bucky. The whole reason I watched this lol. So it looks like they’re at the wreck of the Avengers compound. It’s unclear how much time passes between final battle, funeral, old man Steve and the stones. I still theorize Sam and Bucky get arrested after this because they’re fugitives and need to be pardoned.

It’s clear Steve told Bucky and fans were right about this for ages, but why not tell Sam??????? Like seriously wtf??? Couldn’t have said HEY Sam any interest in becoming the new Captain America??? 😂

That last look Steve shares with Bucky; right in my fucking heart.

So when Steve leaves he has no shield because it was destroyed by Thanos. When Steve comes back, he brings a shield to Sam. This seems to confirm the separate branch theory. The shield Sam has comes from a different timeline. Which means Steve came from a different timeline, maybe using the same tech. So it’s possible he rescued Bucky from HYDRA and he, Peggy and Bucky lived a great polyamorous life in that verse. Aw.

But that begs the question of how Steve got the shield in a different timeline. Like WHAT. Did he go find it in the Arctic? Did he convince Wakanda to make another one somehow? Like wtf? Again this ending makes no sense.

Poor Sam. He seriously has to deal with one last mindfuck, losing his best friend that he gave up everything for, and Sam being stalwart and true, just rolls with it. At least Bucky knew. Bucky had the chance to go back with Steve (but for a million reasons Bucky could never go back, that’s what this fic is going to be about lol). But Sam is just left to deal with one more loss.

Can we talk about how Bucky 100% supported Sam getting the shield from the start. Bucky was READY for Cap Sam Wilson. Bucky was like nope this shit is written.

You can see that imposter syndrome revving up to 1000% on Sam’s face. And he turns to Bucky for confirmation this is really happening.

I think this also explains why Bucky is so defensive about the shield. It really is the only thing left of his past. It’s his only tie to the Howling Commandos, to Steve, to the person he was before HYDRA took everything. And the only hope he has in staying behind is the certainty that Sam will be Cap, and that’s the hope that makes him stay. The thin vague tie to Sam and the possibility of their future. So for Sam to reject the shield, oof, I bet that felt like a rejection of Bucky himself. Because Bucky stays for Sam.

(None of this explains why Bucky then ghosts Sam. That is the biggest mystery but there are many delicious possibilities. It’s also possible that Bucky didn’t really ghost Sam - we know his flip phone is just something he has for show. He could be talking to Sam on his smart phone. And they had another falling out.)

Dear God the emotion in Sam’s face as he processes that he’s being given the shield. Cue existential crisis!!!!!

And on to TFATWS.

[fictionalreads]

The Flash Season 8 Episode 14

Barry & Iris

IRIS IS BACK!!

Um. It should not be that difficult. Y’all have lost a bunch of people already, what words did y’all use before?

She can’t write the obituary Carla. She’ll give it up that she’s a part of team flash. Maybe she can write one just for the team.

Oh this is really beautiful Iris!

Barry what are you doing? Why are you wet?

OH BARRY NOT HER BUCKET LIST!!

IRIS WHERE DID YOU GO?!

Team flash

Damn since when is Cecile going out to fight?

Awe they’re all off and out of sync.

Uh. Why is Caitlyn biting his head off? He was trying to be considerate.

Awe Joe. You took a painting class! For Frost!

LMAO A SNOWGLOBE

Why are they fighting? No fighting Chester and Allegra!

I have a feeling Allegra and Chester are gonna end up joining Mark in the pity party.

…I liked the snow globe idea better.

Caitlyn, no. You can’t just pack her stuff up like she was never there. It doesn’t work like that.

This promise from Caitlyn sounds ominous. Why is she stealing things? What is all this?

Caitlyn you’ve lost it. Don’t you remember what just happened with Not Ronnie?

Miscellaneous

This is probably the prettiest opening I’ve seen on this show and it’s sad that it’s because Frost died.

Oh Mark. Stop drinking.

Did we know that Allegra could travel with her powers? I don’t remember this.

I lowkey like the structure of this episode.

NOT EVERYBODY DIES BY BILLIE EILISH 😭

SUE

This is the nicest funeral I’ve ever seen. It’s so upscale.

I forgot about the villain of the week.

[scvrllet]

sides / b.r jr.

Pairing: Barty Crouch Jr. x Reader

Summary: Years after his sudden disappearance you find the man you fell in love with all those years ago but he has to pick a side; yours or the Dark Lord’s

Bold part is from @corvidprompts​

Warning(s): implication of smut

A/N: Bro idek what that ending was and I’m clearing up my drafts so I’m sorry for this trash. 

The Quidditch World Cup took place this year and you expected it to be a peaceful trip but oh how you were so wrong. Flames consumed the tents people had set up which left the place in ruins. A majority of the people who had come to watch the game had now fled, you were among the handful of people who stayed back. 

With a heart too big for your own good, you stayed back and helped some people who had been trampled in the sudden attack. As you helped a boy, who you soon realized was Harry Potter, the two of you saw a man cast the dark mark into the sky. He was a few yards ahead of you but he saw you both and started heading closer. 

“Go, run.” You told the boy who only looked at you in fear.

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine.” And with that he ran away, leaving you hiding behind a tent. 

You heard his steps and heavy breathing getting closer and with your wand at your side, you stepped away and pointed it at the man. Scarlet light emitted from it and the man went flying back, his wand now only a few feet away from him.With your wand pointed at his neck while you struggled to get him to stay still, you failed to look at who the man was as you straddled their hips. You paid no mind to an odd sense of familiarity as you fought to get him still. 

“(Y/N)?” The familiar voice brought flooded your mind with memories, both happy and unhappy ones. Mumbling the wand lighting charm you saw the one person you thought you’d never see again. 

“Barty...” Neither of you knew what to say, spending a minute to just look at each other in disbelief until a smirk formed on his lips. You didn’t understand why until you realized the position you were in, straddling his hips in attempt to get him still a few minutes ago. You quickly got off and stood up, hoping that he wouldn’t see your flustered face. Extending your hand out for him to take, he let you help him up and watched as he dusted himself off. 

“Still a feisty as before I see.” He chuckled.

Suddenly the sound of Aurors approaching alerted the two of you and without another word, Barty grabbed onto hand and apparated to what you assumed was an abandoned home. Questions rushed through your head but you asked him the one that bugged you since you saw him “How are you alive? I attended your funeral.”

“And so did I, under an invisibility cloak that is.” He replied, walking over to the fireplace and muttered “incendio”, watching as flames erupted and provided a warm glow. “Mother switched places with me under a polyjuice potion, I’ve been under the imperius curse for months by my father.”

You took a moment to register what he was telling you, still in disbelief of how he was here now. Numerous questions were still begging to be answered but instead of asking you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pressed your mouth on his. The action caught him off guard and you felt him tense up but quickly relaxed and tangled his fingers in your hair while his free hand pulled your waist closer to him. There was no turning back now as he took off his shirt.

*

“I missed this.” He mumbled against your neck. Turning around you smiled at him before getting out of the bed and picking up your clothes off the ground then heading to the bathroom. You ran a hot shower to ease your sore body, allowing your thoughts to run freely through your mind. 

Leaving the bathroom and stepping into the bedroom you noticed the bed was now empty, his shoes and coat still on the ground. You left the bedroom and roamed around the house in search of Barty, eventually finding him in what looked like a library. His back was facing you as he sat by a piano, staring at the numerous books in the shelves.

“Do you remember when we first met?” He asked you, his back still facing you.

“I do.” 

It was around 2 in the morning and you decided to sneak into the library. having read almost all of the books there, you decided to go into the restricted section. You roamed the area in hopes of finding something interesting and landed upon something about the Dark Arts. It was a subject that always intrigued you but was something you didn’t want to play with. As you went to grab the book you felt someone else pull on the book from the other side. You snatched the book and heard a footsteps turn the corner. 

“Why would a girl like you want to read about the Dark Arts?” a boy asked you with his arms crossed as he leaned against the shelves with a playful smirk. He had messy brown hair and wore a a black jumper with black joggers.

“I think I’m allowed to read what I want.” You huffed, placing the book by your side as you looked at him. 

“But why in the restricted section? I’m pretty sure its restricted for a reason.”

“Then why are you here?” The boy put his hands up in surrender, standing up straight as he walked towards you with a charming smile. 

“Barty Crouch.” He introduced, sticking his hand out which you hesitantly shook.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N).” 

That was in your sixth year at Hogwarts. The night you met him you knew it wouldn’t be the last, it was something about him that just intrigued you and he just felt the same towards you.

For the next few minutes you found yourself sitting beside Barty at the piano as he taught you how to play. It was relaxing for the both of you, especially Barty who seemed to lose himself while playing. Eventually you had given up and rested your head on his shoulder as he played a song. 

“Why do you still follow him?” You asked him as his song ended, your voice echoing off the walls of the room. Barty took a moment to answer, not sure of what to say for he didn’t know why either.

“I, I don’t know.” 

“Come with me then. Just like when we were in Hogwarts, you always talked about wanting to live in a cottage surrounded by nature. We can have that, just forget them. Forget them all- come with me.” 

“(Y/N)...”

“No, I know, please, don’t say anything, let me argue my case, don’t look at me like that, they don’t deserve you, come with me, and I’ll take you away somewhere safe. Some little cottage in the woods somewhere, chickens and bees and why are you crying, please, we can have it, just come here-”

“I already proved my loyalty to him after we graduated. I can’t just, leave. Especially now when he’d so close to succeeding. Trust me, if I could I’d drop everything and follow you wherever but you have to understand it’s no longer my choice.” Tears ran down his cheek as he spoke, inhaling shaky breathes as he spoke. 

Your heart ached as you listened, you knew he would never agree but at least you could say you tried right? Nodding, you fought back tears as you got up from the bench and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning around to leave.

“(Y/N), no. Come back. Please.” His pleads fell on deaf ears as he watched you leave. Grabbing his wand that rested on top of the piano he pointed it at you and watched as the imperius curse hit you. “I’m sorry.” 

Taglist: @lunaralpha270​ @malfwy​ @cleopatera​

if you don’t want to be tagged for a specific character please tell me I don’t wanna be annoying you with fics you don;t wanna read. Also taglist is open if you’d like to be added. I lowkey forgot I had a taglist lmao sorry

[in-tua-deep]

tua s1 rewatch with my roommate

episode one (I forgot for the first episode oops):

I have been treated to pictures of a lovely cosplay of Klaus who won a cosplay contest my roommate was in !!

Klaus putting his arm in front of Five during the funeral fight is good shit

“I have heard like nothing about Vanya” “yeah that’s pretty much how she’s treated in show as well”

“I can see why he’s the fandom favorite” - about Klaus

“Istanbul is in the firST EPISODE?”

I forGOT about the “rapists can climb” line when he breaks into Vanya’s apartment omg but also like,, his dumb arm wound

Episode two:

HERR CARLSON

Aww baby fives first time travel his little smile. Baby. Baby boy. And the dawning horror in the apocalypse baby nO

Five: you got anything stronger

Also five: takes one sip and then fills up more, takes another sip, and then immediately puts it down ?????

The motel dude for hazel and cha cha just looks at them like “yeah these are serial killers” and just rolls with it

Also actually why tf doesn’t the commission spring for better stuff?? Why would they cut costs?? They time travel? They could game the stock market so hard ?????? Give the assassins their own rooms omg

Also why didn’t five like. Crush his tracker. Why did he just leave it whole and intact outside of the Griddys.

Forgot how much I love Agnes

(Oh man it is storming bad here it just BOOMED)

Also idk if Diego actually deserved that taser hmmmmm but also like,, communication lads five was literally right there killing people and Diego is like “hmm something is up here” like. Yeah Diego ur big brother “I can get my sibling in trouble for something” senses are tingling

Wow I really did repress all these Allison and Luther scenes huh. Also it’s still super cute that Allison read Claire moon books

Allison: dads heart gave out, which wasn’t how I was expecting to find out dad had a heart but it tracks

“SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE BEN... said with love 😘”

Did five actually sleep at Vanyas?? The sofa looks undisturbed but he had to wait for work hours to interrogate the meritech people,, five,, please sleep. The whole “IF YOU CALL ME YOUNG MAN ONE MORE TIME” interaction makes more sense with five on. Zero sleep.

I didn’t remember that Patch straight up knows about the umbrella academy oops. Like she clocks Diego as overcompensating for his childhood. Queen

Is that an umbrella adademy Diego cross stitch on Diego’s wall?? Did he buy that? Make it?? Did grace make it?

Vanya, walking into the academy: five??? five? pspspspspsps

Also like. Who was Vanyas therapist??? Clearly they did not help her

Aww the tow truck driver :(

I know the show wants me to dislike Patrick I KNOW,, and I think her fathers funeral is extenuating circumstance?? But still Patrick is valid for not giving an inch regarding his ex who mind controlled his child. Vanya didn’t really deserve Allison snapping at her but like. She had some good points. Allison arguably would have had to deal with vanyas book more than anyone else

Five smiling proudly at Klaus’s drama at meritech bless but also KLAUS DONT BREAK GLASS ON YOURSELF

Me, spotting Leonard: BASTARD

Love how everyone greets Diego in the gym and don’t question all his knives or anything like “yeah that’s Diego he lives here and loves knives :)”

Why could Leonard have not been like. A normal ass guy. Vanya needs friends who sympathize with her holy shit get this person some socialization

Pogo really did have to lead these kids by hand to the recording rooms because literally no one was super invested in reginalds ~murder mystery~

ahafahJAGSJWGAI MY ROOMMATE JUST SAID POGO IS THE BEST CHARACTER SO FAR,,,, I will probably never include pogo in my fics because I do Not Care About Him lmaoooo

Aww five does to see Dolores and being like “it’s been a rough couple of days :(“,,,,, baby,,,, but also tag yourself I’m hazel going “elastic wrist splint yesssssss”

Five I am begging you PLEASE get some sleep

OH FIVE SHAKING DIEGO IN THE APOCALYPSE TO TRY AND WAKE HIM UP OHHHHH OH :(

Episode 3:

my roommate is super faceblind which is an issue bc she identifies people mainly by hairstyle so seeing the s2 stuff on tumblr is tripping her over bc she keeps seeing diego and going ??? who is that again? bc she’s seen his longer hair

okay there is no way that the eggs that grace put in that pan are the ones that ended up on the smiley face breakfast plate,,, but also grace that whole scene was a mood honestly i would be like “okay maybe mom killed dad BUT he deserved it sooooo”

“what the FUCK” - my roommate about cha-cha’s shitty wound care where she holds a curling iron against her arm

i didn’t remember that five got shOT AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE did i just erase that from my memory?? i mean yeah it’s a graze but he stitches it up and then slaps a bandaid on it so he has a wound that needed stitches on his shoulder for the entire show ??????? is he okay???? that would make moving your arm,,, painful,,,,,

a bandaid just slapped over it i’m actively yelling

“Sometimes when I see a million gifs of a show before I watch I get really surprised when they talk but he is exactly what I expected” - my roommate, about five

“I noticed they’ve only really showed diego in really badly lit scenes so far” - my roommate defending her lack of ability to recognize diego

i’m still laughing about pogo literally having to point out the murder tapes and now allison and luther are investigating and just. allison is lowkey defending grace and i’m laughing

“why is he saying woodwork is embarrassing that’s like one of the most middle of the wood hobbies to have. you’re respectable to grandpas who used to carve wooden ducks AND twenty-year-olds who can’t make anything to save their lives” - my roommate on leonard peabody

“i think he’s already crossing some lines he’s met this lady ONCE” - roommate on leonard/vanya

five having flashbacks in the car :(

did allison and luther draw straws for who went to fetch which sibling?? allison was like “dibs on vanya” and luther was just like “aww :(”

five luther and klaus in the van - BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT let’s go pick up diego

“the coat he’s wearing does have a nice swish to it” - roommate about klaus’s coat

luther being like “you’re just as messed up as the rest of us and we’re all you have” like luther,,, baby,,,,, you literally ARE all he has,,,,,, his family is the only thing he’s really cared about since he was thirteen and maybe before then :(

“I can’t tell if those are supposed to be cake or yeast donuts... i think extruded donuts are cake donuts but she said she lets them rise so maybe they’re yeast?” - my roommate focusing on all the things that i do not

sometimes i forget that hazel and cha-cha pretended to be private detectives trying to find a lost child in a potentially dangerous situation,,, five would be disgusted

“she shouldn’t get a vote” “i was gonna say i agree with you” “she should get a vote!!” this is peak sibling energy honestly i think i’ve had that exact interaction with my siblings voting for a movie or something

“hashtag android rights” 

“I want to be the tailor who gets a call one day that says ‘i want you to make clothes for a chimpanzee”

is it telling that only luther in the flashback didn’t really talk to grace at all,, i mean five didn’t either but i think he was gone by that point in the flashback ???? 

wait diego tells grace that she worked for him for thirty years,,, the kids are 29 and later it’s implied she was built bc vanya kept killing nannies when they were like four but maybe s2 clarifies that some more?? or diego just is rounding up

“that’s an interesting fabric to her skirt” - my roommate about grace’s outfit

forgot that hazel and cha cha broke the door to the manor busting in,, do they ever fix that?? we’re only at episode three do they spend the rest of the season with their door open to anyone on the streets

okay that bathtub is WAY too small to allow for klaus to be moving his elbows about like that underwater smh

“how is HE useful on mission??” my roommate about klaus

where is the SECURITY SYSTEM??? luther LITERALLY said that reggie was more paranoid and yet some assassin can just bust down the door and have unrestricted access????? he built a whole ROBOT but no security system????????

“maybe it was like,, practice for the kids? someone breaks in and they take care of it? wait no that doesn’t explain the thirteen years they’ve been gone?”

“why WAS he on the moon?” - about luther

“I want to see what she’s embroidering!!” about grace during the gunfight in the living room she’s absolutely ignoring diego getting shot at

what is a rope-a-dope,,,, diego yells “EVER HEARD OF A ROPE-A-DOPE???” at luther but like. no i haven’t. what does that MEAN diego

aww i forgot they played sinnerman, love that song

“what are you doing dude, rumor has it you’re not shooting at me that’s all you need to do” i mean. the roommate is not wrong. allison could just end the fight with a yell. i understand she’s pissed off and has rumor trauma but like cha cha is actively trying to murder them

how is luther not winning he literally has super strength. does hazel have super strength? just punch the man and knock him out jesus y’all suck at this smh

why is there such intense music we all been knew about luther’s strength - oH HIS BODY

forgot about that

is it allison’s fault that klaus got kidnapped because she didn’t literally just rumor them to give up?? like she literally has that power. she could have been like “i heard a rumor you left and forgot about us” it didn’t even need to be violent?? i understand she has rumor trauma but this i feel is allowable circumstances

diego showing his worry about vanya by getting angry which honestly i think all the siblings do that rip none of these idiots have even heard of healthy communication in their LIVES

you know,, i don’t think vanya can drive. she takes the bus. she took a taxi to leonard’s house. we see her walking a lot. does she know how to drive?? i imagine that the umbrella academy were taught bc of mission related stuff but,,, vanya wasn’t?? that’s just depressing tbh

[gothiccwhore]

13 reasons why season 4 review

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS!! if you haven’t finished the season yet i suggest you skip this!! :)

also this will be super long because i tend to ramble and i’ll give reviews for each character/most of the storylines! ((half way through reading this i read @jessica-acholas and @analuciacortez reviews and i agreed with a lot of it so you guys should all read their reviews as well!!))

over all ranking:

as a whole, i would give this season a 7/10. i originally was gonna give it a 6 but they get an extra point for all the zalex scenes we got, and i also was thinking of the mess that was s3 so i had to give them that extra point too

storylines/the season as a whole:

my biggest concern/annoyance with this season was how rushed or repetitive it was

every storyline this season was either super rushed or super dragged out- no in between. the fact that we only had 10 episodes as opposed to the normal 13 probably had a part in this, which idk why they cut the episodes short. let’s start off with the dragged out storylines, one of them being clay’s nightmare sequences. i honestly did like his therapy scenes because it was good to see him get help and he was a much better narrator than ani, but his nightmare scenes were so long i literally had to skip all of them i got so bored. another dragged out storyline was jesstin, which i probably will get complains about. i think they have their cute scenes and i do love both characters, especially jess being tied with alex for #1 and justin being in my top 5. but my god their storyline/relationship is beyond repetitive, its been the exact same thing for 4 whole seasons. they break up, have a long speech about how they’re not right for each other, spend the whole season pining after each other, make up in the end and then have another speech about how in love they are. like writers please make up your mind- do you want them together or not?? we also had another repetitive love triangle this season just like every other with justin jess and diego as opposed to the justin jess and alex one for like 2 seasons.

now for the rushed storylines, one of them being alex’s relationship with charlie. i love charlie ever since we saw him in s3, he’s so pure and a lovable guy and i love how he loves alex. however they happened like out of nowhere?? alex went from being in love with jess for 3 seasons to being in love with 2 people in 4 episodes. if you blinked you would’ve missed the “build up” to their relationship, and honestly it felt like they just randomly threw in some relationship for alex because they didn’t wanna have zalex happen. i’m not saying this to be bitter (maybe i am lol) but zalex had 3 seasons worth of build up and could’ve been an amazing slow burn relationship for the whole season, instead they rushed another relationship. zach is also another character who had a rushed storyline with his drinking problem, which literally happened out of nowhere too?? he just showed up this season drunk in the first scene and drunk in literally every single scene we saw him in. this storyline also never got resolved, it just stuck there like the writers didn’t even care to end or resolve it. just like how zalex could’ve worked better for alex, it could’ve worked better for zach too since his drinking problem could’ve been helped by alex. i swear the writers just hate us at this point

characters review:

clay: one of my favorites honestly, he’s in my top 5. sure clay has had his moments where he’s been annoying and extra but so has literally every single character in this show- besides tony lol. like i stated above my main concern was how dragged out his sequences were this season, like i couldn’t watch all of them. also another huge problem i had with him this season was how big of a jerk he was to justin??? for like half of the season he was rude to him and would give snarky remarks/hints like when he was surprised colleges would even want justin, which i don’t blame justin for thinking that clay expected him to just relapse again and throw his life away. the same can be said for when clay said all those awful things to him at the party- his parents not being his and not trusting him like wtf? i felt SO BAD for justin there i was expecting clay to apologize to him. on the topic of the party episode, he literally crashed zach’s car and sent them flying 30 ft in the air just to leave zach all alone to literally die?? then there’s also the part where he and ani outed alex before he was ready to fully come out which sucks, that’s something you should never do but i know he was just worried about alex and didn’t want him to get heartbroken over winston - but why didn’t you tell him sooner??

ani: like i said with clay, i hated how she outed alex before he was ready to come out. i don’t understand how her and clay both didn’t think to tell everyone - especially ALEX who literally killed bryce and would’ve gotten hurt the most about winston?? they both knew that winston and alex both knew each other and met at the hillcrest party, so why not tell him winston is gonna be looking for information to clear monty’s name?? alex is literally the only person you guys SHOULDVE told first?? however i did enjoy her this season as opposed to s3, she had a great redemption and i liked that she finally apologized to jess for sleeping with bryce. she also wasn’t up everyone’s business this season and i loved all her scenes with jess, especially the prom ones

alex: HAAAAAA BI KING WHO GOT HIS HAPPY ENDING AND DIDNT GO TO JAIL FOR FLOORING THAT RAPIST!!! HOW DO YOU BRYCE AND MONTY STANS FEEL THAT BOTH OF THEM ARE 6FT UNDER WHILE ALEX IS FREE 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 i’m so happy he got his happy ending and became secure in his sexuality, that’s all i ever wanted for him since s1. i’m not saying this because i’m biased and he’s my favorite character, but he truly was one of the only characters who didn’t annoy me this season. he had a great arc even if it was super rushed, we finally got a zalex mutual love confession (i’m still bitter that we didn’t get our endgame but in my head we did), and i love how even if he and justin had their differences in the past seasons he was there for him in the end. i don’t really have any complaints about him besides the whole charlie thing being super rushed and so random?? why did the show put 2 bottoms together like we wouldn’t notice 🤨🤨

jessica: jess is my favorite character tied with alex, both of them have been since s1. i loved how she continued to be her badass self this season but a lot of the things she did/said kinda rubbed me the wrong way?? like i applauded her for calling out ani for judging who she was sleeping with after ani slept with bryce, but when you think about it diego literally is a rape apologist too?? jess tyler is literally your friend why would you date the guy who’s defending his rapist?? also don’t get me started how diego treated clay horribly this season, he was suffering with his mental illness and he played pranks on him and called him a psycho??? clay has always been there for you jess and he’s also one of your friends why would you still hang out with diego?? also in the first episode where justin breaks up with her and she got mad at him i got upset with her, justin made valid points he’s a recovering drug addict who needs to focus on himself not a relationship. i don’t understand why she got so mad at that, it was lowkey ooc for her? overall i still loved her i just hate how the writers reduce her to only a guy each season, but she still was amazing over all and looked beautiful!! her scenes with ani were great and i cried so much at her scenes with justin at the end.

zach: another one of my favorite characters who the writers did so dirty this season. i’ve loved zach since s1 as well, he’s in my top 5 and i’ve always loved how even if he was a jock he was still good hearted and there for everyone. i hated how in this season the writers forgot all of his traits and basically wrote him as a new person?? his drinking storyline was beyond random and had no build up/not even a resolution in the end. where even was his mother or sister this entire season. the show always paid him dirt and never focused on his home life when it was clear he didn’t have the best relationship with his mom. i’m so annoyed at how they wrote him as a “drunk” all season and didn’t even acknowledge his struggles. his scenes with alex were great, and i loved every single one of them. i’m still dying on the zalex hill and saying that they missed the perfect opportunity to make them a couple, it would’ve helped his storyline just like alex’s.

justin: oh my god, when i say my heart broke in the last episode it really did. i remember hating justin in s1, and then loving him in s2 with him being in my top 5 favorite characters. he had the best redemption arc, and i loved his portrayal of a recovering drug addict. i’m thinking now and he also didn’t annoy me this season just like alex, he was great and i’m so sad how they basically stomped all over his arc by killing him. it’s clear the show only killed him off because clay started the show by losing someone he loved, and ended it the same way. him dying by aids was so random and made 0 sense, i honestly thought he was gonna die from an overdose when discussing theories because i had a feeling it was either him or alex who were gonna die. they didn’t have a buildup for his hiv/aids- only added scars/bruises throughout the season which no one noticed if they weren’t closely examining him. i’m so saddened by his death and i will be planning a funeral for him along with zalex’s 💔.

tony: honestly a great character throughout the whole show, never was annoying and always was there for literally everyone. tony has always been a fighter and has been through so much without showing it, and i’m glad he got to go to college at the end and see his sister. i’m also so happy we got more scenes between tony and caleb this season because they are one of my favorite couples and are so underrated in the show and with fans ❤️ i was upset when he didn’t believe tyler, but i understood where he was coming from because he just wanted to be safe.

tyler: he’s so pure and i also loved his arc throughout the show, i’m so happy he has friends who love him and him and estela were so cute! i wish they explored more about him and the sheriffs working together because i honestly was confused about that before rewatching scenes. i also hate how they made him feel bad about monty dying when it literally was not his fault a rapist got killed in prison- monty’s rotting 6 ft under hello let’s celebrate to that!! i also loved how he was so supportive when he found out about winston and alex on the camping trip, he seemed worried about alex when winston said they broke up. i also love how alex was the only one who truly believed in him the entire show.

bryce: good riddance!! when i say i yelled when jess saw him when she was burning the tape why did he smile like pennywise?2@/@20so glad we saw no flashbacks of him this season and that he was just an annoying ghost, but even that annoyed me

monty: just like bryce good riddance!!! thank god we didn’t get that much of a redemption arc because i would’ve lost it- even though i literally rolled my eyes every time his ghost tried to say something that was supposed to make us feel bad for him. he’s rotting with bryce 🧚🏻‍♀️🤩

charlie: i loved him, he was so nice to everyone and so pure. i just wish they let him and alex be just friends because that came out of nowhere. i hope he’s baking more cookies and being happy

caleb: such a supportive bf i love him and tony, wish we saw more of him but i hope he’s living his best life <3

winston: he gave me joe from you vibes the entire season why was he creepy lowkey s:@:&;&!392&-03@3&4 nobody @ me but for a second i thought him and alex were cute during the bowling scene then i remembered who he was. he was a rape apologist which i hated, like dude he’s dead get over it i promise that dick probably wasn’t that good that you have to do a whole fbi investigation for him. the fact that he fell in love with monty and alex after like a week is sending me oddjdkckdkdj but i too am in love with alex standall so i see where he’s coming from, he gets points for not turning alex in at the end but i expected him to be a bigger villain this season but thank god he wasn’t because i would’ve floored him

chloe: my best girl who i wish we saw more of we only saw her for like 3 scenes?? the show did her dirty even in s3 she should’ve had more scenes her storyline was amazing :/ i did enjoy her and zach’s friendship it was so refreshing to see a m/f friendship and i’m glad they didn’t make them romantic. i didn’t expect her and scott to date but go girl!!

diego: literally came out of nowhere where were you for the other 3 seasons? i literally laughed every time he would talk about missing monty like who cares if he got you into football he was a rapist no one cares. i hated how he made clay go literally insane by pulling those pranks on him and calling him psycho?? “why’d you bring a knife” MF YOU GAVE IT TO HIM???? he was nice at the end so i guess i’ll give him some points and he also wasn’t a HUGE jerk i liked how him and justin helped each other when the cop was being racist/a dick and that he seemed upset at justin’s funeral

estela: her and tyler were super cute together and i loved how she acknowledged what monty did and didn’t try to make excuses to defend him. also loved how she wanted to join HO and was completely different from monty

so overall that was my review of the season, i will miss the characters so much and zalex will continue to haunt me every night i cannot escape 💔 jess and alex are my emotional support characters who would’ve thought. selena gomez and the 13rw writers you will pay for your crimes this season!

[audspods]

my girl

hi so this is my first time doing this but i want to try talking abt movies. idk here’s a lil introduction to this. ok so ig i’ve always been a movie person, like i like them but i’ve never rly got into the nitty gritty w them. but sometimes i do find myself looking up analysis’ of the movies once i finish them. but that only started recently. ok so here’s the deal w this post. there’s 3-4 parts. first part is the introduction (this is the introduction), then we have the when i watched it (i know this seems rly silly but i think it’s important on the atmosphere and shit when watching a movie), then the what i rly think abt it section, and finally a section called audrey trying to be johnny 2 cellos. this one will b abt 4 because this intro is kinda explaining how i’m going to be doing this sort of thing so let’s get started ig? IDK HOW TO START THIS I’M LITERALLY 14 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO’S BORED. oh i’m gonna rate the movie on a scale from 1-10, 1 being wtf this is not cute and 10 being cute cute cute. 5 is like oh cute? its confusing i feel like i need to draw some sort of diagram :/

intro:

ok so my girl is abt this girl (wow nice one audrey!) who lives with her dad in a mortuary. this girls name is vada and her mother died giving birth to her. i lowkey forgot some stuff from this movie but that’s fine ig bc it’s been abt a year since i’ve seen it. basically vada is this tomboy and she doesn’t get along w everyone until she meets this boy. btw they r in elementary school. so she’s freinds w this boy named thomas and he wears glasses. the actor is the kid who was in home alone. anyways shit happens some girl comes in and becomes like her step mom ig. but lets get into what actually happened. so one day vada and thomas r playing in the woods and vada is wearing this ring but she loses it. she realizes she lost it after they were done playing in the woods but after thomas went back to get it. as he was looking for the ring he bumped into a bees nest and a shit load of bees stung him AND MANS WAS ALLERGIC TO BEES. so his glasses fell underneath the leaves and he died. so sad omg. and so they held a funeral for him and vada was obviously sad abt this but when she went to look in the casket she saw he wasn’t wearing his glasses. this is where the famous line “he can’t see without his glasses” comes from. this scene hurt so much my lawd. eventually time goes on and she never forgets him but that’s basically my girl. 

how audrey watched this movie:

okay so i think it was summer. I can’t remember i just remember this day being very grey and bright. so it must’ve been summer. anyways i had a shit load of laundry to do so i thought i would put on a movie. as i’m scrolling through netflix i see my girl and it’s one of those movies that u always hear abt so i thought i would watch it. i thought it was going to be some cute cheesey rom-com abt childhood friends but oh boy was i wrong. the movie was on in the background as i was folding my clothes but i do remember knowing what was going on the whole time. i remember wearing this headband that made my forehead huge but i didn’t realize that until i looked in the mirror to see my crying face lols. when the scene of thomas in the casket came up i was sobbing. i mean i was not expecting that at all and i was not ready . i rly thought it was gonna b a cute kids movie. i was so shocked that during and after that scene i could not move. i sat over all my clothes and just cried all over them. literally so embarrassing but it was so sad. LIKE Y WOULD U MAKE A CHILD DIE HELLO? i mean shit happens but whatever. this movie will alwyas be memorable to me bc i literally was not expecting to cry and i literally sobbed like a baby. i’m so glad no one was home to see me cry like that oh my goodness. 

audrey tries to b johnny2cellos:

if u don’t who johnny2cellos is pls check out his yt channel. i think he does a great good in going deep into movies and tv shows. well idk if i should say movies i’ve only watched bojack related vids from him. but from what i’ve seen and heard i think he does a rly good job. anyways let me jump into my lame ass analysis. this isn’t going to be good bc i havent seen this movie in a long time. but i think the movie did a rly good job capturing losing a loved one from such a young age. the innocence and immaturity of vada shown throughout the movie and during thomas’ funeral. i’m not good at this lmao. but i havent seen this movie in a long time so im not surprised that this is bad lols. anyways that’s it bc i have no idea what to say and i want to talk abt a different movie bc i lowkey forgot everything about this movie. 

final thoughts:

this movie is meh. it gets a 6.5/10 from me, so it’s like a ok cute? idk if that makes sense lols. anyways it’s a good tear jerker but honestly it seemed a bit rushed, but at the same time i sorta like that bc that’s what going through childhood is like. everything goes by super fast and soon enough, something happens that makes you stop and realize the shit that’s going on around you. that’s it for now i’m gonna do my life as zucchini next. PEACE OUT!!