#i loved this series so much esp books 1 & 3

[saessenach]

Lady Anne and her black ballgown in The Lily of Ludgate Hill

Mimi Matthews' Belles of London is a CRIMINALLY underrated romance series, go read it NOW

[cr4zy-cycl0n3]

Yo! I'm doing a Heroes of Olympus rewrite!

I'm not a huge fan of how some scenes go in canon and how the characters esp the gods are handled in Hoo, and after reading one too many rewrite/AU fics, I've decided fuck it, imma make my own.

I'm changing quite a few things, like:

- making Piper's memories not be tampered with and as a result be way closer to Leo (credit to Heroes of Juno by @queenjunothegreat for this idea!)

- MOTHERLY HERA/JUNO WHO PSEUDO-ADOPTS JASON FTW also parental Lupa but that'll be more apparent in a Jason prequel/sequel(depends on how I wanna format it) I’ll write after TLH is done

- slowburn valgrace instead of comphet jiper

- Leo and Piper QPR(+Jason when Piper stops being his #1 opp). Jasipereo ftw babyyy

- the whole series is just gonna have a good deal of focus on the Lost Trio. I'm not gonna shaft anyone ofc but my favorite punching bags characters are just gonna get extra love :3

- Jason's gonna be considerably more feral cuz CMON MAN WAS RAISED BY WOLVES(this is more prominent in the later books cuz in TLH he was alr feral, going at 2 giants with his BARE ASS HANDS)

- Jason has more bite cuz DAMMIT HE DESERVES TO BE ANGRY/BITTER AND CLAP BACK. HIS LIFE IS SHIT, LET MY BRO BE MAD

- more exploration into Jason's character cuz man was shafted so hard :(

- exploration of characters' powers in general, def buffing the Big Three kids to be as strong as Percy cuz holy cow he's OP. I love Percy and his OP-ness, but the other Big Three kids should be just as OP

- Zeus is the God of Justice, which we don't see much of in PJO's characterization of him, but Jupiter is Roman and hence is much more strict in the RRverse, so consequently I think his domain of law and order is more central to Jupiter than his greek counterpart, so I'd like to explore Jason having powers related to that and being an absolute powerhouse when it comes to debates and politics despite hating them

- characterizing the Gods differently from canon as I'm a Hellenist and writing them as they are in canon makes me like. Kinda uncomfortable. I will be using mythic literalism as that is what PJO/HoO's based on and I'm not rewriting the very foundations of the series, so they will still have committed the things they did in mythology, though I'm keeping them largely unaltered from the Og greek mythos and unsanitized as this isn't intended for a young audience like PJO is. Their behavior won't be exactly like their depictions in myths nor how they actually are irl, it's a mix of both(Ex: Zeus has still done heinous shit so he won't be as great as he is irl, but he isn't supremely petty and bitchy like he is in PJO.). This uhh. Will probably mean that PJO events would go differently which would influence HOO but if I think about that too much I'm gonna wanna do a PJO rewrite too and akbhdhd so just imagine that everything that goes on in PJO goes as canon (for now at least) for some reason or another.

- Octavian and Jason are were best friends cuz I said so. This change is inspired by To Storm and Fire(a Heroes of Olympus rewrite) which I am in LOVE with. The antagonistic side characters(like Drew and Octavian) got very little development or character exploration so l'm definitely giving them that in my rewrite!

- The Seven feel and are much closer together

- delving more into the sevens' trauma pre-camp, might also do a one/two shot for each of them. Jason’s a given cuz I’m writing a whole ass fic or even series dedicated to his past, Leo and Piper definitely, probably also Hazel and Annabeth, not sure on Percy and Frank cuz for Frank I’m def going into the trauma that comes with growing up in an Asian household but don’t have too many ideas on how to execute that, and for Percy I don’t have all that many ideas in general outside of the little we know in PJO(I used to think we knew a lot but honestly, we really don’t? Like we know Poseidon left, Sally had to work a lot, Gabe sucks, and he got kicked out of 6 six schools in 6 years and the reasons, but we don’t have any concrete details. There might be more in HoH, I haven’t read it yet so lmk if there is). Open to any ideas for this!

- camp is. Tense. It's been only a few months since the war, grief is still fresh, and Jason being tall, blonde, and blue-eyed with a scar ain't helping 💀 some people think Silena was a hero, others think she was a villain, some people sympathized with Luke, others despised him, there's a lotta differing views.

I have loads more ideas that I won't get into here cuz the post'll get way too long, but l'd love to hear what you guys think! What scenes/characterizations should I change? What topics would you like to see handled differently? What should I add? I'm open to any and all suggestions!

Currently outlining TLH, will start posting it on my ao3 once I have the first chapter and 4-5 buffer ones written so I'll prolly start posting it in a month or two? Idk, depends on my workload irl and if I get hit by writer’s block. Maybe less, maybe more, who knows. I'll be writing a bunch of shorter stories for specific moments, time between books, and namely a prequel/tih sequel focusing on Jason's past and who he was before Hera wiped his memory. Open to any suggestions for additional works too. Feel free to drop any questions and suggestions bout the rewrite here or in my ask box!

[starii-void]

there were other ways calypso and leo’s relationship couldve been written, in this essay i will

this isnt a hot take at all but caleo just has. so many problems. im not gonna list em but anyone who’s read hoo and toa knows

so how could it have been written better? here are my (a non writer who has shit articulation) opinions, please be nice

1. They date, then break up

this feels like a likely thing to happen bcs as we know, leo is notoriously flirty and seeking relationships and calypso falls in love REAL easily. so ofc, being stuck on an island together with no other company for like weeks on end would lead to a relationship of some kind. though i think that relationship would most likely be. unhealthy.

so yeah, theyd get together, but itd probably start showing problems very quickly as we see in TOA. but from there, i think they shouldve broken up. maybe it could be caused by an outside intervention from someone who. maybe has better experience with healthy relationships. jiper being an example, since they broke up after piper realized their relationship was basically started with lies.

once they broke up, leo could learn that romance isnt a cure all (cough rick cough) and that he doesnt need a partner to ‘fit in’. the whole seventh wheel thing was a big part of his characterization so i think unlearning that whole mess would be a good thing for him, esp since TOA had a lot of ‘growing and developing and changing’ as a theme. he could learn to define and support himself outside of his relationship with women (mommy issuesss)

calypso could also learn to support herself and have relationships with people that arent unrequited crushes, what with how her only human interaction was with random men who couldnt stay.

2. They stay as friends

Basically same character benefits as the last one, just different methods.

Leo realizes he doesnt like calypso in that way on the island during that time itself, maybe due to self reflection or something. maybe they have an intervention/impromptu therapy session or something and figure themselves out. not like they have much else to do on the island

this way, we get to see him figure out (is that the right word?) that being friends w/ women isnt automatically a gateway to romance. that its not so simple. that he can have close friends without having to date anyone (+ possible aro rep here but thats just me projecting) then from there, he can develop this further and come to terms that he doesnt need a romantic relationship to be loved etc etc

3. They stay together, but it’s established as. not good

now for this one i think its less likely since this entire thing is still sorta a kids book series and authors dont usually include these types of topics without it being resolved, but it is something to think about

caleo’s relationship in TOA felt pretty icky at least to me, so i imagine it isnt setting the best example for kids if its portrayed as normal/a good thing

in this method, their relationship could stay but just be more established as not normal and unhealthy bcs. it kinda is

anyways thats my ted talk. please dont kill me im bad at articulating

[charbies]

I'm mashing together my review of totk and reactions to random encounters with the masterworks I've had lately into one stream of consciousness

Totk should have had true continuity, not a 6 year time skip that we never get to see, experience, and feel. It's not that hard to bridge 2 games with a 1-2 min cutscene, esp in a zelda game. Majora's mask starts with quick, but meaningful exposition that bridges OOT to MM! The intro to wind waker is a 6 minute long cutscene!! This series thrives with its detailed, intriguing intros, so what happened?? Before I even launched totk the night it came out, I booted up botw and replayed the final boss & ending because I was so stoked to see the transition in story/world and wanted to honor both games. Instead boom, we're walking in a cave w/ no context.

I was so disappointed that zelda wasn't a companion character to link in totk, it was disempowering to her character arc. Really thought this game would build off of botw's snippets of link & zelda working together in memories. The teasers and trailers for totk gave this perception that she would be there (which would also "break tradition" like devs wanted, ffs). When I was on the tutorial island I was fully convinced I'd be finding her and we'd reconvene like "ok what's next." When I realized 20 mins into the game that she was GONE gone, as in will not reappear likely until the end of the game damsel-in-distress-style, my verbatim thought "wait... really? Is this still going to be good?" Which was kinda sad, for a game I waited so many years for :/

I had major pet peeves with the copy/paste nature of the cutscenes with the old sages. The dialogue, bgs, pacing, literally all identical. They just hot swapped the character models for the sages and said that was good enough, wtf!!! I live for cutscenes in games, I have since I was like 5. This felt lazy, and seriously demotivated me from completing the dungeons bc I knew there was going to be nothing novel or intriguing to look forward to

The secret stones were gimmicky af. Sorry. Also stupid name, they couldn't even opt for "sacred?" Ik in other languages they have way cooler names, which would have helped. Link's fucking thanos glove of stones was a stupid gimmick, I cannot believe they didn't think to alter that concept to be more mythical, or creative, or just original. I would have killed for the stones to relate to the triforce in some way, or to do away with the stones and have this game connect to the triforce, since the whole direction of this story was going back to ancient myth & lore.

the Zonai lacked depth, and honestly just felt like a boring distraction even tho they were supposed to be a central focus of this game. I 1000% agree with other folks posts on the take that rauru was a flat, 2-dimensional colonizer. Sonia got sidelined. yikes. ew. no thanks.

^similarly, ganon really was given no character or depth imo. It's like they did a fantastic job making him visibly LOOK scary, so they didn't bother to give him motives beyond "I'm bad, I do what I want."

the cliche "back to normal" at the end irked me. Link could have come out with no arm, keeping the zonia arm, or at least scars w/ the zonai arm pattern and that would be meaningful. Zelda got factory reset from irreversible draconification in a method that for all intents and purposes, could have been done as soon as link got rewind ability. There was no investigation or inclusion of the other dragons, which seemed like a missed opportunity. Actively working on reversing her could have been a main quest in game!! Like 1. Complete all dungeons/get all stones, 2. you can now go round up the spirits of rauru & sonia and reverse zelda yippee, 3. you and zelda go beat the shit out of ganon together. The dragons fighting was beautiful, powerful imagery, but honestly I think too much potential was traded away just to execute that one fraction of the boss fight.

The masterworks book annoys me, which is sad bc I love concept art. I wanted to be a concept artist growing up, I can accept that you'll often see things that never make it into the final cut. I was enamored with early posts abt things like zelda's haircut, char designs, etc.

But more recently I'm seeing the anthology side of the book taking major liberties that it didn't even bother showing us directly or alluding to in the game, and I think that's such a cop-out. They are literally telling us instead of SHOWING us in the game they release a year ago, and spent SIX YEARS making. There was a festival celebrating the return of zelda/defeat of ganon?? Freaking show us that!!! Show us link & zelda acclimate to post-calamity life. Show us imperfect, non-linear healing and resilience. I would have loved a festival scene w/ link and zelda that conveys the nuance of celebration and recognition of their efforts, and the contrasting weight of what they went through. Show me zelda, exhausted after a festival struggling with guilt and indecision about whether to bring back the monarchy with hyrule's restoration. Throwing in a "oh btw imagine if we actually had done this" post-game makes me so irritated and feral. It's like the post-release canon is sidling up to fanon and saying, "hey look we can do that too! look at our fan art" idk if that makes sense, I don't think I'm explaining it well. But it just feels disingenuous.

I'm not a timeline purest, I don't need everything to interconnect, but I don't love how assertions in this book invalidate connections and lore of other games. Also really don't love how this game overwrites and sidelines the sheikah.

I know majority of my disappointment stems from my own, personal expectations of a game that, let's face it, was probably given many mandates and initiatives to appeal to *everyone* in broad, lackluster ways. I still love the world and characters of zelda, if anything, totk reaffirmed what I love and want to prioritize in my art that I didn't see present in this game. Fun fact I used the world of botw to learn a lot about drawing landscapes & composition. It actually inspires me a bit to try to learn to do comics, which has been a longtime goal I've been too busy and/or timid to pursue lol.

mmm anyway if u read this and any of this resonated DM me and lets froth at the mouth and commiserate lol

[atyourmerci]

✩maddas mind✩

atyourmerci masterpost

As promised the 1K follower cele!!!

✩ ✩

maddas fic rec hall of fame

(The ones I could find)

Deliverance

Priest abby. When I tell you I think about this daily. Truly one of the most immersive erotic forms of POETRY I’ve ever read. World building, character development, BANTER- there’s not a thing I’d change about this.

I do desire we may be better strangers

Childhood best friend abby. This story wrecked me in the most beautiful way. I messaged the author after reading because I needed to know EVERYTHING about the dynamic of abby and reader. This inspired to the light is to the darkness I was so hung up on the world. such a tender story.

Are you sure miss

I was such a holdout on farm abby at first but I read this and it literally flipped a switch in my brain. Anything rose writes I’m fuckin sat but this one holds so dearly to my southern heart. Also this story inspired ‘anything for you miss’ that will probably see the light of day 40 years from now

Perfect sin

One of the first authors/fics I read for abby so this holds dear to me. Got me into sub!abby. I have reread this fic a couple times it’s so beautifully crafted.

I know it when I see it

Pornstar Joel. God Idek where to start on this fic. At this point it could be a novel, a movie, a tv series that people would fucking eat alive. I think about this daily. My friend introduced me and we talk about this story everytime we have fic discussion coffee dates.

✩ ✩

maddas fan art hall of fame

Beanie abby

I am kaitie’s #1 meat rider. I have this photo printed out into a Polaroid bc I’m clinically obsessed

Ellabs

This art single handedly turned me into an ellabs apologist

Cowboy abby

No thoughts just abby in a cowboy hat. World shattering

✩ ✩

me me me!

I’m 21 (cancer baby<3) southern belle born and raised in the south (yeehaw) (my friends horse not mine)

Some of my fav artists: Lana, Paramore, Sza, backseat lovers, Nirvana, deftones, tv girl, snail mail, Chappell, lil Wayne

Interests: horror films (esp old ones), fun little drinks, I make my own jewelry!, reading/writing, the moon, wine and a gotdamn cigarette(I’m old okay)

I’m in school to be a marriage and family therapist but currently I’m a nanny :)

I fall somewhere deep between being an introvert and an extrovert. I love clubbing but I also love going nonverbal in my bed

In my free time I do yoga, read, and have existential crisis about comprehending my worth on this planet

As pictured above that’s my son Venus. I got him from someone I met off tinder (prob don’t do this)

This is all that I could think of but if you wanna know anything just ask! I’m an open book and love interacting with you guys :)

✩ ✩

Thank you so much for 1K I truly cannot even fathom this currently. I never thought anyone would be interested in reading my deranged thoughts and mind but yet here we are. Love ya like always <3

[acourtofquestions]

Empire of Storms Part 1 thoughts, theories & a VERY VERY long post of rambling:

(+ this title as a spoiler warning; heads up to my fellow fans & first time readers (esp. those semi-tagged in this post), I address a lot of Part 1 & possibly up to Chapter 52 of EoS;-) I am ALSO on my first read just finishing said 52 so no spoilers for me past that as I go through Fireheart as well plz, & thx!

I will also be posting a far shorter better edited version of this post next :-)

Oh good gods this book is going to destroy me in the best way possible😅😅🤦‍♀️😭😁😬😆🤣🙃❤️‍🔥🖤🫶

Long writing/reading (I HAVE LOTS OF THOUGHTS & FEELINGS & NEED TO SCREAM IN WIVERN FANGIRL NONSENSE! So, this post will probably jump around quite a bit between chapters, thoughts, theories, reactions, & randomness; read/skim at your own rambling risk😅 also in advance for missed autocorrects I TRIED😂) “round up” for Part 1 of EoS. & yes I have been reading a LOT (whilst VERY busy😂😭), so this blog’s posts are in desperate need of a catch up & will probably only grow more hectic as alas, my library & brain demand to know what happens next NOW😂. You have been warned this post & blog is about to be more incoherent than usual! — And as I said this post is LONG (If your thinking I’m kidding; legit I think this is 20 something pages long; consider it here for historical purposes… & I had a VERY long drive with no books😂)

— NOW —

The organization of parts is interesting, we go from Nightfall, to The Fire-Bringer, to Fireheart. It feels like a full circle from night to day; from learning to being, and showing Aelin’s claim (not from Elena, not from her powers, but from her). The heart of Terrasen, the fire for the world (esp. against the Valg). … It’s also scaring the heck out of me with her self-sacrificial tendencies & the VERY intense vibe (from the first few chapters this story advances into a “final chapter vibe” yet it’s only the first few; it’s reminding me of Deathly Hallows almost? — which is esp. confusing CAUSE I STILL HAVE 3 BOOKS LEFT… and we’re already this intense😬😅soooo MAAS PLEASE DON’T YOUR DARE HURT A HAIR ON ANY OF THEM!!) P.S. for this note; it’s also making my shipping fuel go from 180 to infinity cause she’s his Fireheart🥹 (If only “worried over liking the ship” HoF first read me could see me now😂 @ goddess-aelin 🫶YOU WERE SO RIGHT👏). And generally it’s just been cool to see how the entire story & series has shifted so much (yet kept its heart ;-) !

So, Generally speaking: I’ve loved the first half of Nightfall & The Fire-Bringer (As I’ve loved the series). From the pace & many perspectives, to the plot twists & Easter egg style hints, and the writing with straight-up foreshadowing & full-circle series arcs (many of which have had big moments interwoven & reaching peak within this book). There has been some great character development (many beautiful lines/moments) a lot of raw emotion (crying, laughing, and all of the above), & entertaining interactions as my favorite piece of this book has been all these stories finally crossing paths (& within that developing relationships, friendships, families, courts, enemies, allies, etc.) for the “New World” that’s coming.

Nightfall:

“Elena sent up a final prayer on a pillar of smoke rising from the valley floor that the unborn, faraway scions of this night, heirs to a burden that would doom or save Erilea, would forgive her for what she was about to do.”

Elena I don’t know if I can forgive you for what you’re about to do😅😅 the plan here is long coming, as Lysandras “theory” further confirms:

"The more it seems like this was all planned, laid out long ago. Erawan had decades before Aelin was born to strike decades during which no one with her powers, or Dorian's powers, existed to challenge him. Yet, as fate or fortune would have it, he moves now. At a time when a Fire-Bringer walks the earth." It was all horrifying, impossible, but—so much of their lives defied logic or normalcy. The shifter next to him proved that. "Morath is unleashing its horrors," Lysandra said. "Maeve stirs across the sea. Two goddesses walk hand in hand with Aelin. More than that, Mala and Deanna have watched over her the entirety of her life. But perhaps it wasn't watching. Perhaps it was ... shaping. So they might one day unleash her, too. And I wonder if the gods have weighed the costs of that storm. And deemed the casualties worth it."

& previous lines on “all the players in the unfinished game” (I’m getting S&B Ruin & Rising vibes (for those of you Grishaverse fans; which btw one of these days I need a whole post about parallels & these two series, cause just the stag and lord of the north alone. I AM INTRIGUED & do love both fandoms ;-) + I think the crows would fit so well & it would be wonderfully & utterly chaotic🤣).

So, my general concern is this theory & warning everyone keeps giving Aelin about “the price”; from Rolfe’s tattoo map & warning question: “"That was the price of my power. What shall yours be, Aelin Galathynius?" She didn't reply to him before storming out. Though Deanna's voice had echoed in her mind. The Queen Who Was Promised.” To clever Elide’s question: “Was that the price for the humans they'd once been-magic that was somehow immune to what flowed naturally in this world? Or had the choice been taken from them, as surely as their souls had been stolen, too?” to crucial warnings like Brannon: “We burn not just within our magic, but also in our very souls. For better or worse.” & the danger continuing to grow like that of the FULL Deanna scene:

“And she said to him, in a voice that was deep and hollow, young and old, "Every key has a lock. Tell the Queen Who Was Promised to retrieve it soon, for all the allies in the world shall make no difference if she does not wield the Lock, if she does not put those keys back with it. Tell her flame and iron, together bound.”

She is the one, she has to get the lock, and she will have to pay the price for both (her ancestors & the darkness created in centuries of Erawan); one that will be heavy (one Elena failed to do; and I somewhat worry is because while she did sacrifice herself, her friends, her people, her kingdom, even letting Brannon fall to ruin (Brannon; the only one who ever successfully sealed it, because he sacrificed her mother, his love, “My mother died to forge that Lock!”) she did not let Gavriel “that which she most loved” fall; she tried to do it alone & was left with no option but to leave it to someone else; another era, another heir); now Aelin carries every thread, plot, battle aligning; the power she wields & sheer force of it, the weight of her crown & every choice it comes with, the price it will demand (the one she has spent a lifetime running from; “my crown is just another set of shackles”; the one Mala may have been shaping her to be able to make even through experiencing tragedy & turbulence in decisions over & over again). The warning in every choice; including the person she loves most (Rowan’s fear of “The people you love are just weapons used against you.”) “This thing between them, the force of it, could devour the world.” Her terror in that; struggling to allow them to go for the front lines while she survives, no longer alone & no longer able to take it all on, but struggling to let them in on the “master plan”. Struggling because even as she does, it weighs on them too: “Aelin was trembling, a hand on her friend-face so white and drawn that any harsh words he'd reserved for her were unnecessary. His queen knew the cost. It had taken her so damn long to trust any of them to do anything. If Aedion roared at her now, even if he still yearned to ... Aelin might never delegate again. Because if Lysandra hadn't been in the water when things had gone so, so badly…” And they do see it; the on-growing burden on Aelin’s shoulders & how she’s carrying the weight of it; both as a queen (despite her current lack of crown) another long-coming plot; as spoken by Chaol: “There she was, that queen looking out at him, a hint of the ruler she was becoming. And it knocked the breath out of him, because it made him feel so strangely young-when she now seemed so old.” And turning her desperate & weary; heavier slowly: “Since Rowan had gone, since word of Rifthold's fall had arrived, Aelin had been half present. Distant.” line after line “She'd grown quieter the farther north they'd traveled. Perhaps weeks on the road had sapped her.” They fear for her “And he wondered if Aelin was somehow watching the archipelago, and the seas, and the skies, as if she might never see them again.” for the price of such powers “We have yet to see the full extent of Erowan’s darkness. And I think we have yet to see the full extent of Aelin’s fire.” & They try to help “After tonight, depending on what the lords reported he'd try to find her a quiet place to rest for a day or two before they made the last leg of the trek to Orynth.” desperate to stop it “"She's not some unwitting pawn." He'd defy the gods, find a way to slaughter them, if they threatened Aelin, if they deemed these lands a worthy sacrifice to defeat the Dark King.” to protect her “Rowan at her right, Aedion at her left, Lysandra at her back; nothing and no one would get to their queen.” all the while they know they cannot as Rowan’s line painfully says: “This was war. These lands would endure far worse in the coming days and months. His queen, no matter how he tried to shield her, would endure far worse.” (Also the key word endure, frequently used for the “lost children of Terrasen” as I call their grouping). To even Aelin’s own words “She was a liar, and a murderer, and a thief, and Aelin had a feeling she'd be called much worse by the end of this war.”

This is where I fear Nightfall will come to rise in Fire-Heart:

I say all of this to say I get concerned when Maas feels the need to start a book with such warning; in both the price, and person paying it… Aelin is too much like Elena… Celaena has lost too much to lose anyone else (“And she would not add another name of her beloved dead to her flesh.” — “"We'll get her back, Aelin." "I can't bury another friend." "You won't."”)… and carrying it so heavily I worry she may overpay her share on their behalf’s. And between that & the many conflicting & star aligning forces of Rowaelin I worry the conflicts may grow; originally it was him not feeling “enough” for her because he’s a Prince not a King, he has no money no land no army (thankfully we are done with that piece because he can give her everything🥹 of his heart and that’s all she needs). We have the inevitable Maeve’s vendetta. We have my growing fear with the Carranam bond getting drained; like it almost did with Deanna. And the quotes all warning that their world may lead to another being destroyed, one or the other; “This thing between them, the force of it, could devour the world. And if they picked it, picked them, it might very well cause the end of it.”

… and though this isn’t due to Nightfall I am just concerned (I try to avoid spoilers (and continue to do so); but I already know it’s got a cliffhanger) and I have read enough Maas books (and just fandoms in general) to fear the 1-2 punch of “THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE😱 — PSYCH😜 THEY ARE ALL FINE😅 — JUST KIDDING EVERYONE YOU LOVE IS DEAD!☠️” + the amount of possible brainwashing between Valg, Wyrdstones, and now gods… I’m just nervous (& still not 100% sure someone isn’t already secretly possessed).

MY DO NOT KILL LIST IS GETTING TOO LONG: From ASTERIN (scared me half to death SARAH) & Manon + 13 (obvi💁‍♀️), Abraxos & Fleetfoot & Evangeline (had to break my “no Google” rule to assure the latter twos safety *phew*), Aelin & Rowan (DON’T YOU EVEN DARE), Lysandra, Aedion, Dorian (HE’S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH; STOP HURTING HIM), Elide (just let her be happy & home & make Marion proud dammit), Chaol (he’s not even here & I’m still a little mad BUT STILL) & Yrene (she hasn’t even fully come in yet & I don’t care I love her already) + Nesryn who babe, you know I love you, but I need more history & perspective to trust you fully (you seem cool, but I’m worried the lack of knowledge about you means your gonna lie or die, & it’s just too soon after Sorscha), Emrys (your safe in Mistward; STAY THERE), Sam (beloved, you’re still on this list; even though I know how it ended, & really do LOVE Rowaelin, I just still miss you; & want a Multiverse of happy endings for EVERYONE).

— HOWEVER —

I hope Fire-Heart will bring:

More Manorian; and let’s be honest ALL the ships (+ it could get realll literal with the set-up right now😂 the ships are LITERALLY sailing🤣) of course I CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH ROWAELIN (though Fire-Bringer was great 🥵 THEY FINALLY SAID I LOVE YOU🥹👏) & I am SO HERE FOR Lysandra & Aedion! … also what’s up with Elide & Lorcan? (Her last name + his first name TOO SIMILAR😂)

More interactions in general between all the characters from ships, to friendships, to even enemies (who often also become friends😂) honestly might be my fav part about this book so far; seeing it all line up & crossover; (from aforementioned Elide & Lorcan), (to previous & hopefully again soon) Manon & Aelin, the FULL team with THE THIRTEEN (Asterin & our crew would be absolute chaos & I would love every second of it), Sorrel too! AND VESTA! Petrah Blueblood (I find her VERY interesting as a character), Elide & the “lost children of Terrassen” finally meeting; maybe some more Ren & Bane updates (cause I wonder about them & what their up to) to Abraxos & Fleetfoot (PLEASE I NEED THIS… just don’t eat eachother😅😂) & yes I do STILL miss Evangeline & Fleetfoot; though I am happy they are safe; while the fire trick was cool it was SO not sustainable, & I do trust Murtaugh… and these full circles; Ansel’s (presumed) reintroduction & the TAB throw-backs/crossovers (plus NOW Crochans?). —

Exploring things of the sort; what is the other side of the “Crochan’s tale”, what is Elide’s true bloodline, how does the new Mala knowledge effect Aelin & Dorian?

Who are the Cadre (& learning more of their history; both with Aedion & Gavriel (that blood oath better not pass to children), Lorcan (Elide is already helping there thankfully) the other twin because I already stan Fenrys, and really Rowan because who are they really? Despite the “blood oath” reasoning they spent centuries together there has to be more to it). I want to get to know the twins & their whole Yin & Yang balance; also what is Fenrys power? (why does Rowan let him go after Aelin in the water instead, he must be pretty dang powerful & more so than Rowan to be her best option in his eyes)! What other histories does Rowan have (are the “witches” one of them)? What else is Maeve (I will never trust her) hiding?

Why is Erowan this way (who really killed Aelin’s parents)? Are we POSITIVE the Ilken aren’t the creatures Elide saw in the basement (wow that sounds extra ominous😂)?

Will Chaol show up (how is his team & the southern allies coming along)?

What is the limitation to Lysandra’s powers (can they find a way to trick the Terrasen flower into “blooming”)?

Is their further crossover between these series (ACOTAR & CC)?

Explain further how certain things work such as mates (Rowan has two? Celaena/Aelin too maybe? & what that means for others)… And just a lil’ fluff (Rowan & Fleetfoot, the team all together, shenanigans & some side plots for funsies) maybe?…

I theorize Fire-Heart will:

Confirm Rowaelin as mates (they practically have already but I want to hear the words). Plus plenty more of them just being them (their every moment is so detailed & precious). Maybe even some more moments with Prince of Doranelle vibes ;-)

Show that there are multiple Carranams (possibly a dyad between Aelin & Dorian. Rowan & Aelin being the mates balance; making Aelin & Dorian the “friendship / rulers / fates” balance). & Without a limit to their power; the danger of over-draining others (Deanna causing Rowan to feel “thunder steal his magic” is CONCERNING & Dorian’s magic is hungry for it).

Confirm that Aelin can use shadowfire, moonfire, & power without limit. Explore her other gifts such as water & healing. Possibly introduce her as a powerful enough wielder to use all the forms (as briefly referenced as a possibility among others before).

Confirm Lysandra & Aedion as mates or at least a couple. (Also use it to explore Aedion’s history & introduce the Bane or at least their set-up).

Bring back the Mycenians since Lysandra & Aelin’s masterplan worked (THE DRAGON THEORY WAS RIGHT)!

Set sail on Manorian in a way that is explanatory/foreshadowing. (Possibly tap into Dorian’s immortality? & power exploration explanations. And go into Manon’s ability to forge a new alliance of peace between MANY groups; not because I’m suggesting the sexist “get married” nonsense so many are giving Aelin, literally just that she could speak on behalf of many groups & since Darrow has brought diplomatic debates into this war it could be an asset).

Introduce Ansel, and perhaps loop back to the Red Desert (unless the Silent Assassins have disappeared). Showing all of Celaena as we see all of Aelin (letting Rowan know even more of her, healing those wounds as he & her family fully accept her; hopefully doing the same thing for them; going through more history). & Similarly with Rowan; possibly saving the Cadre’s lives through it (or at least stopping Lorcans “execution”).

Tie in the spider silk, between Abraxos’s wings (Manon’s “stealing”), & Aelin’s Red Desert history deals. If not in this book than KoA.

Explain Maeve’s obsession with Aelin & vendetta against the family.

Aelin reclaiming her crown by having the heart of her people (we’ve seen “the future”, there is a woman with hair like moonlight; I think this is Manon. The people chant for her, she is their Queen and that is her court; including the witch).

I think Aelin (like Manon & the other golden eyed 13) are Valg proof. She has the golden eye ring of the Ashryver eyes… in that case maybe Aedion too?? (Hopefully🥺… I mean why else would history write a poem about it?) … While I’m at it let’s make Lysandra’s shifting immune too (protect all my bb’s)!😂

Reveal the Wyrdstone Elide carries as THE Lock (between her last name having the word lock😂 or “loch” I guess, the magic not being immediately recognized as a Wyrdkey by Lorcan, & Kaltain’s promise/importance with an explanation for the “living gate” term). Then when she reaches them so does the thread of fate (once again).

Go to Ellywe & both heal/break my soul (all this travel has made it inevitable; though it is cool to see more of the continents of this fictional world etc.)!🙃

Not something I truly believe but one I wonder on; is there a relation between either Rowan & Manon (history or hair color related😂) or Aelin & Manon (some sort of blood relation; the gold eyes & power levels?).

Not theories but things I think need to happen ASAP: STOP WEARING THE WYRDKEY as a necklace AELIN I DON’T care if it’s a “family heirloom” IT’S A BAD IDEA (have you not seen Harry Potter? — sry for another reference, but seriously DON’T WEAR HORCRUX LOCKETS folks)! Tell Elide the full truth; Celaena = Aelin (at least Lorcan is getting close). Commit to immortality (I’m looking at you Aelin & Aedion; esp. Aelin… ROWAN NEEDS THIS; the only time I will ever encourage a woman to “settle”😂)! Address the very long list of “things for later/back burner” because I can’t keep track😂 & they are all WAY too important😅, dangerous😬, and THE LIST IS LONG SO HURRY UP Y’ALL😁!!!

— NOW ONTO THE “ACTUALLY” READ “BIG PORTION😂 —

The Fire-Bringer:

A lot of reactions have random posts; per usual many of the opinions change with hindsight, but I like being able to look back & enjoy it for the first time so (while I do try to give an update) I’ll probably leave the posts up :-) hoping to get a few lil (by that I mean pages jk sry not sry lol I warned you) notes I’m pondering on in here though…

I love the Little Folk’s little but magical role:😊 when (not if; I’m gonna will it into reality with terminology) this gets an adaptation I can’t wait to see them! — I really love the fan art & its many different takes for what they may be all the way from fairy’s, to wisps, to “baby-Groot”-like characters! … I also wonder if they could help out with that “rulers flower thing” possibly, same as pondered for Lysandra (I think these “little things” will be keys to helping Aelin with “dum-dum Darrow” (as I’ve dubbed him; cause I’m angry! & it may be only a 1st read impression as of right now, but he’s also given me 0 reason to like him).

The Oakwald forest: EVERYONE IS SO CLOSE yet SO FAR! (At least Manon has finally made it to the team… well kinda… she better actually MAKE IT past the ship drop-off… if you can call it that?😅 this is why I need to type fast & go read!) If Tower of Dawn manages to match this pace of “just-missed, kinda-crossover” I see why the tandem read would work! It’s quite fun (& semi-irritating/anxiety-inducing but in a good way😂).

Speaking (writing?😂) of Manon: TALK ABOUT IMMEDIATE CHAOS, each of her chapters have been SO intense. I might have cried with her the most so far; I legitimately almost lost it over Asterin’s almost execution & The Thirteen (I AM VERY GLAD THEY FINALLY LEFT THE MATRON & got out so they can please be safe now; or at least they already are in my mind; though last we saw them it was all chaos, they were running (a win) & the shadows seemed to confirm them getting out (another good sign) while Asterin being dragged off screaming isn’t great I think she was shouting for Manon because she didn’t want to leave her… & I refuse to accept any other answer) only problem is Manon is not with them; & she really needs to be😅😅😭 instead of half-dead in the woods, hunted by a banshee-hound-thing? Abraxos honey, thank you for taking care of mother🥹😂 at least she is with the team on the same-ish side now. So, hopefully Abraxos will go grab the rest of The Thirteen while he drops Manon off? I NEED THE WHOLE GANG; I mean Erawan & Maeve are screwed in that case. Esp. since most of them are Valg proof golden eyed; & also have you seen these gals fight? … Honestly, I think they are one of the great shows of good writing in these books; because these characters could easily be read as villains & psychopaths to be hated, yet they manage to be a compelling, interesting, group of female badassery & sisterhood, that really captures your heart (pun intended). HOWEVER, I say all of this Spoiler-free while not oblivious; I have 2 &1/2 books left (wow that’s numbers too small I’m gonna get sad😅😂) I know people say this ending is a hard, & a book of cliffhangers… So, if this is “just” the beginning it can only get crazier😅 (I just don’t want to know; I want to think this will be like ACOTAR with no deaths as long as I can believe it) & even with the Matron’s probable on-it’s-way “dispatch”, they managed to hide Asterin for years. My main concern is Sorrel & Vesta as they’ve been given enough time to love them, yet not enough time for a full arc, I can’t have any red shirts & I’m a little worried for them (but I just wanna love them as long as I can🥹).

I’m so glad I was right; from day ONE I’ve been wondering about Aedion & Lysandra cause *coughs* I mean their first scene together ever… she’s changing his shirt… and now the whole “wandering off to give Rowaelin time” which while a fair-ish excuse it is also a little ;-) ;-) … and now that he’s said he’s gonna marry her “Because I am going to marry you," he promised her. "One day. I am going to marry you.”… I’m counting it (why is it giving New Girl CeCe & Schmidt?😂)

But in all seriousness ship-ness aside I appreciate their friendship; the understanding of each-other with a healthier trauma bond (for all they cannot say, yet carry so heavily; all the shame & fear Aedion is wrestling with; & the steady acceptance Lysandra gives) I loved them both as is, but together is something precious & nice to see develop (while staying slow, taking time, surety of respectful). While at times it feels fast, it makes complete sense (esp. as we don’t get their perspectives as frequently, & with the knowledge that mates can be pretty immediate; even if it’s not “said”; it tracks).

Though it hurt (& was also kinda healthily valid) to hear Aedion be angry with Aelin, it also says a lot about how much he cares for Lysandra (as Aelin often can “do no wrong in his eyes”) to be angry in the first place “And for the first time, he hated his cousin. He hated Aelin for asking this of Lysandra, both to defend them and to secure the Mycenians to fight for Terrasen. Hated the people who had left such scars on the shifter that Lysandra was so willing to throw her life away. Hated ... hated himself for being stuck in this useless tower.” While also knowing it’s not her fault, it is her choice, but it also had to be (he at least knows that & does cut her slack). “He was shaking now, that rage indeed taking over. But Rowan snarled at him, low and vicious, "Save it for later." Aedion growled right back at him. Rowan gave him a cold, steady look that said if he so much as began to hint at what their queen carried, he'd rip out his tongue. Literally. Aedion shoved down the anger. "We can't carry her, and she's too weak to shift." "Then we wait here until she can," Aelin said. But her eyes drifted to the bay, and to the city beyond, still cheering. victory—but very nearly a loss. The remnants of the Mycenians, saved by one of their long-lost sea dragons. Aelin and Lysandra had woven ancient prophecies into tangible fact. "I'll stay," Aedion said. "You deal with Rolfe." "Fine," he said. Aelin groaned, getting to her feet, but stared down at him before she took Rowan's extended hand. She said softly, "I'm sorry." Aedion knew she meant it. He still didn't bother replying.” & knows (because Lysandra makes him better; as she already reminds him with her knowing compassion): “"That man has endured enough, Aedion. A little kindness wouldn't kill you." "He stabbed Aelin. If you knew him as I have, you wouldn't be so willing to fawn over. "No one expects you to fawn over him. But a kind word, some respect-" He rolled his eyes. "Keep your voice down." She did- but went on, "He was violated, and even if you cannot draw up forgiveness for stabbing Aelin against his own will, then try to have some compassion for that." — Aedion snarled at her. Lysandra snarled right back and held his stare with the face not trained or built for bedrooms, but the true one beneath—wild and unbroken and indomitable. No matter what body she wore, she was the Staghorns given form, the heart of Oakwald Aedion said hoarsely, "I'll try." "Try harder. Try better."”)

& Then moments like him asking her to come with him to meet Gavriel, & she simply does. Or that she trusts him to carry her home, vulnerable & tired. I think they give a lot of what the other needs while growing to be who they are themselves. Plus Lysandra deserves to be a leopard princess, sister-in-law(ish) to Aelin. “Princess Lysandra Ashryver sounds nice, doesn't it?” YES IT DOES!

Speaking of Lysandra (who is seriously one of my all time favorites; I relate, I adore her, and really it just doesn’t get better then all of these characters) I WAS RIGHT ABOUT LYSANDRA BEING A DRAGON!!! GENIUS!! And also LYSANDRA WAS A DRAGON!!!!!! I love her & Aelin’s plotting (which also gets kinda Kaz Brekker vibes sometimes; she is so brilliant, & the fact Lysandra just piles into the shenanigans; I love them). TALK ABOUT POWER! Also what fun genius for mythology… winning the people’s hearts… etc. …if only she could turn into a flower… and making that moment the first perspective we have from her in this book was so fun! Shoutout to @ asexualzucchini for fandoming about this with me (heads up again cause I know your on a first read too; THIS POST HAS SPOILERS for Pt. 1 ;-)

ELIDE & LORCAN; a team-up I was NOT expecting, yet find SO intriguing. From highlighting Elide (which is well deserved) esp. in her truest strength; smarts (her & Annabeth Chase would’ve been besties) and as something even Lorcan sees & values greatly, extra fun as in combo to his physical strength it’s a pretty perfect team (& a helpful combo for storytelling because you see his perspective which is of course very different then spoken threats from Rowaelin perspectives ONLY; & of course once again while I’m curious to learn more on the Cadre; esp. since Lorcan often to me just seems angry to have “lost” his friend). And I do love the boundaries they respect (even as an unknown dare I say “anti-hero”? Lorcan still has some clear moral lines (& I generally appreciate that in the Maasverse that everyone except the worst of the worst can agree where those are) he also keeps his word a VERY intriguing piece of his character), also the representation they give (go team disability represent!) + small girlies hanging out w big brooding boys (there’s my “kitty” style reference for you Aelin lol). Also funny cause eventually they’re gonna end up in the same place😂 P.S. him calling her MARION (gut-wrenching), Crochan history (very curious), etc. IT’S JUST ALL SO INTRIGUING! … Now if we could only have an empowering crossover so she can go talk to Feyre & realize she’s already intelligent, powerful, & capable, & not being able to read has no effect on that!! (while we’re at it & I’m on a crow comparison kick; go hug Wylan please).

Another team up I didn’t expect but surprisingly loved most was Dorian & Rowan’s roadtrip through Rifthold (new movie adaptation idea?😂):

Dorian, Dorian, Dorian where do I begin? — I love him. I think he might be the most morally grounded character (odd as that sounds for someone that was recently possessed). He would be a good king, because most important he’s just a good man. My heart breaks for him, he’s seen a lot without time or space to deal with it (it’s just adding up; “The latter, Dorian realized, usually happened when even the heat and sun couldn't drive away the shadows of the past few months—when he awoke with his sweat feeling like Sorscha's blood, when he couldn't abide even the brush of his tunic against his neck.”); yet he still gives everything he can to his friends, his people, his country (& Rowan gives & takes care of him too (another Aelin paralell/foreshadowing; “"You're not going to believe me," Aelin went on. "What l've just said, you're not going to believe me. I know it--and that's fine. I don't expect you to. When you're ready, I'll be here.”) ; “He wasn't sure whether to thank the Fae Prince for noticing or to hate him for the kindness.” — Because Rowan knows; “"You're going to hate the world, Dorian. You are going to hate yourself. You will hate your magic, and you will hate any moment of peace or happiness. But I had the luxury of a kingdom at peace and no one depending upon me. You do not."”); and somehow Dorian just remains good and kind even when the world is not. He may carry more, but it is never an excuse for him; he sets aside his pride, humbled, un-selfish, caring, and really trying. (remarkable enough that even Rowan notices & takes note; “I have known many kings in my life, Dorian Havilliard. And it was a rare man indeed who asked for help when he needed it, who would put aside pride.”) And I also appreciate that he is cared for in this, seen for who he is; respected in it (FINALLY said quite well in: “Rowan knew most underestimated the sharp intelligence under that disarming smile. Knew that Dorian's value wasn't his godlike magic, but his mind”)

And getting the friends & care he deserves, like Aelin who kept her word “I came back for you. "You both came back,"” (he is her friend, she does care for him) as it’s shown because she went so far as to send Rowan (someone she would NEVER risk; “"I will save him," he murmured. "I wouldn't ask this of you unless it was ... Dorian is vital. Lose him, and we lose any support in Adarlan." And one of the few magic-wielders who could stand against Morath. Rowan's nod was grim. "I serve you, Aelin. Do not apologize for putting me to use." Because only Rowan, riding the winds with his magic, could reach Rifthold in time. Even now, he might be too late. Aelin swallowed hard, fighting the feeling that the world was being ripped from under her feet.” (When she says “losing support” she pauses; because really it’s about losing Dorian her friend, remember she’s always coming from the mindset of “she will not write another name on her scars” almost to the level of her “I will not be afraid mantra” fading in from QoS in this first EoS quarter) so she wouldn’t risk him even in leaving her side (which props to Maas for breaking a typical VERY possessive YA trait; even at the cost of a promise-ish from the last book; “Next time we need to save the world, we do it together. Deal.”). & keeps keeping that promise to save him; not only to keep her word, but keep her friend. Along the way he so easily becomes Rowan’s friend, thawing the ice by just being a decent guy (that says a lot for a centuries old Prince of stoic brooding). I love the genuine respect they have for each other; the time they take (even short as it is) to have a mini-boat therapy session because they needed it; it says a lot about the two of them as good men; the way they help each-other, plan & train together (Dorian even has time to understand Aelin’s time away with a new compassion😅😅 “Honestly, Dorian had no idea how Aelin had survived months of this--let alone fallen in love with the warrior while she did. Though he supposed both the queen and prince possessed a sadistic streak that made them compatible” & even see Rowan get a taste of the Celaena Sardothien world & find he has similar sass). vice-versa you also see someone valuing Rowan’s strength, strategy, personality beyond warrior or prince, without any of this “male pride chest-puffing instinct”. And the way despite the change in new healthier friendships you also have the original ones growing with them “"And will keep changing," she said, squeezing his arm once. "But... There are things that won't change. I will always be your friend." His throat bobbed. "I wish I could see her, just one last time. To tell her... to say what was in my heart." "She knows," Aelin said, blinking against the burning in her eyes. "I'll miss you," Dorian said. "Though I doubt the next time we meet will be in such …civilized circumstances." She tried not to think about it. He gestured over her shoulder to her court. "Don't make them too miserable. They're only trying to help you."” It helps both him and them; like the team they need to be & are finding a way in: “"We'll figure it out." She loosed a breath. "But your being king is the first step of it."” Like the Queens & Kings they have been becoming for a world slowly building; starting with the fact he is one of the good men that do exist (like Nehemia & Celaena said) and as already shown: “Ten years later, and they were all sitting together at a table again--no longer children, but rulers of their own territories. Ten years later, and here they were, friends despite the forces that had shattered and destroyed them. Aelin looked at the kernel of hope glowing in that dining room and lifted her glass. "To a new world," the Queen of Terrasen said. The King of Adarlan lifted his glass, such endless shadows dancing in his eyes, but--there. A glimmer of life. "To freedom."” esp. as he helps raise up women in positions of power to do so as well! (We love a King ally)

Much like Aelin growing into a queen you see the shift as Dorian becomes a King. “Never again. Never again would he be weak and useless and frightened.” (From a quote I appreciated and found Nesta paralells in). “To her surprise, a king smiled back.” And I just hope somewhere along the way Dorian also finds his happy ending much like our queen is slowly finding a way too (like Rowan said; “You will find your way, too, Dorian. You'll find your way out.”); I think Manon is promising, I think he finally has a real family, & he’s learning his power which is good; his already Kingly skills also come in handy, they needed a diplomat. And for two characters I love so much, a genre that rarely shows good friendships between so many characters and guys having emotions and bonding beyond a love interest trope… I just loved it! p.s. thanks again @ mysterylilycheeta for fandoming about this one with me (and many others :-)

Now speaking of Dorian quotes (plus I needed a transition lol) much like Dorian I do sometimes miss Chaol; “"You know," he said, "sometimes I wish Chaol were here to help me. And then sometimes I'm glad he's not, so he wouldn't be at risk again. I'm glad he's in Antica with Nesryn.”while also being glad he’s off somewhere else… not just ‘cause of the injury (I actually hope they don’t make that THE “problem”, at least in the sense of making him “useless”. While healing in a magical realm is a useful skill, representation of disabled characters in the read world is also really important & still super kick-ass & powerful)… So, I’m glad he’s gone not for that but for the fact I think his mentality would conflict right now (& while Aelin isn’t always right; & does sometimes need a check as Aedion aforementioned & does this at least better thank Chaol in timing & how) + most of the time ya kinda need to just “keep calm & trust the process” because while “the gods may have some “masterplan” & only Aelin can outsmart & outplan them (you just have to let her go for it)… and hopefully Elide will be there to help soon!

Now speaking of good friends, & the rest of this post from “threads of fate”, to really loving characters, friendships, relationships (even most of my favorite quotes) it’s time to address THE SHIP because there is ROWAELIN. TRULY WHERE DO I START? I love them. They are perfect. Nothing can break them (Nothing better try). I love the peace & hope they hold for the other (they want more together, for each other; to live.). The balance they carry; especially when one is down, the other lifts them up (even rapidly flipping; I’m a few Chapters into Part 2 (spoiler sentence)🚨 & there’s the moment where it goes from her being on fire & him waking her from her nightmares, to him so panicked to save her he’s freezing the room & she’s soothing him). The way they are so alike, & shown even more so (as I’ve briefly mentioned) in this book (Rowan having some Celaena moments, her taking on a leader & diplomatic role, learning to control water & him teaching her to heal, exploring each others histories & a growing team of friends for & with them) & VERY different (they are the balance even in what they do share; for instance a scene I think on frequently: when Rowan leaves to go get Dorian, and Aelin cannot let him go. Right there she uses very specific words; she does not ask him to stay instead she says she cannot let him go; because she knows asking him to stay (like Lyria had begged) would kill him or telling him “he’s leaving her” would utterly destroy them both. And he does the same; he distracts her (knows what she needs) takes a moment for them (stops the clock) kisses her and then leaves before she opens her eyes in a flash, so she does not have to watch him leave (again), or (be the one to) walk away from him (he knows she already used all of her will to even have him go in the first place, she cannot ask anything more or she will not ask at all), or run again. They both are feeling the same thing, while understanding the differences they have experienced, they take the notice to love the other the way they need & the only way they can). Part of it stems from something I’ve adressed on the blog before, the honesty they share; and desperately needed. Or have discussed with other fans in beyond that the fact they trust, they can have it all on the table, and respect what has to be kept. Part is the fact they are the others soulmate (waiting for those words: “mate” to “officially” & finally seal what we ALL know by now😂). Another being the threads of fate every character keeps seeing; they are VERY tightly bound beyond separation; for better or worse a tangled knot that can not be undone.

The way in that they would fight by the others side, live & die together, for each-other. They would save the world for each-other (like Rowan jumping in front of the moonfire because he knew her fiery soul; “"No!" The word was a roar, a plea, and silver and green flashed in her vision. A name. A name clanged through her as he hurled himself in the path of that fist, that moonfire, not just to save those innocents in the city, but to spare her soul from the agony if she destroyed them all-Rowan.” — “"If you had destroyed that city, it would have destroyed you, and any sort of hope at an alliance."”) It goes beyond taking a bullet for the other, it goes to taking a bullet from the other (you see that side a lot in HoF). They would save the other for the world (like he says, the world needs alliances; because he knows it needs her, his queen). Or the other from the world; “And as his face became clear, his tattoo stark in the sun, as that fist full of unimaginable power now opened toward his heart-There was no force in any world that could keep her contained.” Together, to whatever end. They would even destroy it for the other; “But if it was death separating us … I would find you. I don’t care how many rules it would break. Even if I had to get all three keys myself and open a gate, I would find you again. Always.” They deserve something that’s an always, known, world & gods defying. And while I appreciate the way they defend each other, I also appreciate the way they defend their friends together; it may be them to whatever end, but it’s also not just them against the world (more so for the world?) they may be capable of destroying the world for each other, still they choose to give everything to save it. They choose each other, they continue to do so, to accept, to be honest. “Even if this thing between them ... even if he knew it was not mere lust, or even just love. This thing between them, the force of it, could devour the world. And if they picked it, picked them, it might very well cause the end of it.” they have a powerful love (one that is quite literally more powerful together). I love that scene too, the carranam; the way he steadies her (he knows why the manacles scare her, knows how to help her breathe despite it; “she is not afraid”), trusts her (she could kill them both, but he believes in her, always has, even before she believed in herself) gives her his power (talk about a feminist ally😂 he literally uses his power to give her more power), and she blazes the world (better & worse); she trusts him enough for the irons (something she may have killed someone else for), she trusts his trust in her (it empowers her metaphorically too), trusts him to save her from herself; trusts him which as this line shows; “"You trust nothing. She met his eyes. "I trust you."” is almost a miracle in itself. I love the easy rhythm they fall into like breathing, simple domesticity (even among war), natural understanding (soulmates), gentle unconditional stubborn & unchanging love that simply is. & is accepted as such. Learning more of their history in parallels & new perspectives, tales & legends, chaos & opposites (especially opposed in power) FIRE & ICE and remains the “meant to be” Carranam; though one of a kind it also understands itself in being love among grief, giving it the ability to see & soothe the unhealthy internal monologues… in a way that’s honestly kinda healing to read; I love their quotes, I love their scenes, I love their characters, I just love them.

It’s been fun to see more Aelin as Aelin, (and I’m not meaning “The one in green smiled, but for all its delight, all its wicked mischief ... It was a softer smile, made with a mouth that was perhaps less used to snarling and teeth-baring and getting away with saying hideous, swaggering things. Lysandra, then. The two queens faced Rolfe.” Lysandra twin-swap scene 😂) the way Celaena is now recognized as a part to play; “You met Aelin when she was still pretending to be Celaena” — “Because it was Celaena who sat here-for whatever purpose, it was Celaena Sardothien in this room.” from the way Rowan helped & accepted her all along. Rowan has always been her protector, her guard, her best champion, fiercest warrior & love, her dearest friend, her everything. It’s the one that saw all & loved anyways “to have one person who knew the absolute truth about her--and didn't hate her for it.” — “I see you, I see every part of you. And I am not afraid.” he is not afraid of her; the first time she’s ever had that… Something she desperately needs as someone so fear-based… She went from being a child who was never not afraid; she was taught to fear her power, fear the secret coming free, because she would be persecuted; because her people would not love her for what she was; she was protected against it and taught her powers weren’t to be trusted. She spent so long burying herself… Arobynn taught her that; created a world of only that for her to exist in, only to survive never to live. And as I’ve said before I LOVE SAM, I truly think he would have accepted her without flinching (I love & believe in the many soulmates for many lives theories; he was Celaena’s) but over & over again the saddest four words of almost they never had time. Thinking someone would love you “even if” is different that getting to experience it, she was still afraid he would turn her in or turn away, he would judge her as she judged herself, or didn’t know “how dark she could go”; like he was too good and she would drag him down. And here is Rowan: the one person who could stop her (the dark comfort she takes in knowing he could save the world if she endangered it; “That is how I was able to stand before the King of Adarlan, how I was able to befriend his son and his captain, how I was able to live in that palace. Because I did not give that rage, those memories, one inch. And right now I am looking for the tools that might destroy my enemy, and I cannot let out the monster, because it will make me use those tools against the king, not put them back as I should--and I might very well destroy the world for spite. So that is why l must be Celaena, not Aelin--because being Aelin means facing those things, and unleashing that monster. Do you understand?”) and doesn’t think that of her; “For whatever it's worth, I don't think you would destroy the world from spite.”

To the moment on the beach that strikes me again & again; Aelin in her rawest state (inner child & traumatized immortal), sobbing, unclothed (a very important detail not because of the rest of Chapter 38 spice but because of the psychological component; she is stripped down to her core at her worst, most vulnerable, visibly terrified uncomfortable state; it’s more like a nightmare of giving a speech & realizing your the only one without clothes), on fire (no hidden power or sense of control), unleashing an entire storm (after almost destroying the world; her world; even against her will); because she is Aelin Ashryver Galathynius “the rightful heir of fire” and Queen of Terrasen; she has been “Adarlans Assassin” & a “King’s Champion” Lillian, Elentiya, Celaena… all of these names… and yet, she is still afraid. And she cannot stop it; she is trying & failing, feeling every step backwards for every step she takes, she is running to nowhere, she is lost. And then there is Rowan. Rowan, who walked to the creak to see her, and went loudly so she would know & not be afraid. Rowan who knows when she needs to let off steam (literally) & has been burned & still does not turn away from her. Rowan who now is “silent as death” because he knows her mind is already screaming enough for the both of them. Rowan who follows her; over & over, unflinching, returning, staying, seeing, & still believing in her (even before she believed in herself; even when she cannot). She is begging for anyone that listens to take the job & all its “blessings & burdens of power”, wishing for a bottom to the endless abyss of her power, drowning in it; helpless in her own strength, because she does not trust herself (how can she when she can’t even be herself; not just Celaena; but Deanna), trying to run from herself. And Rowan who sees, hears, knows; and only cares about her. Choosing her. Loving her. Telling her those words. Arguing against the voices in her head for her; making her feel for a moment that maybe somehow she’s worth it (or at least too lucky to care even if she’s not). Because he has every reason to go; he knows what he could lose (even as they stand there; he is still shaken & terrified; he just saw a god steal the woman he loves from her own mind; he has no idea how to fight that & bring her back) He has lost that; felt it for centuries The world may be the price, they may be the price, they are in the middle of a war waged & waiting for hundreds of years; and he does not care. He only cares about her; better & worse. And she is not alone; never again. Reminding her that she can be both, staying on the road. As he says (a quote that made me cry): “You and I will learn to manage your power together. You do not face this alone; you do not decide that you are unlovable because you have powers that can save and destroy. If you start to resent that power… I don’t know where we go on that road.” And when she voices it, that fear (that brought me to tears); you’re just crazy for loving me.“"Because I'm the only one arrogant and insane enough to ask Mala Fire-Bringer to let me stay with the woman I love. Her flames turned to pure gold at the words-at that word. But she said, "Perhaps you're just the only one arrogant and insane enough to love me."” He simply, firmly, undoubtably, says no. … And when the times comes; when he creates a snow storm of his own (& destroys half a forrest😂) she just laughs, holds him closer, kisses him again. As she says; “who would not look at those flames with any ounce of fear.” as anyone else would have. They aren’t afraid of each other, they aren’t afraid, not together. “But Rowan had caught her each time she had fallen-first, when she had plummeted into that abyss of despair and grief; second, when that castle had shattered and she had plunged to the earth. And now this time, this third time ... She was not afraid.”

And because they are equal, because they will go to whatever end, because they pull each other back over & over whenever/wherever they drift. (And while I love Lyria, I believe she was one of his soulmates) I don’t think anyone ever understood him so well in return… Rowan loved Lyria. Lyria wanted him to stay for good reason, but he was not able to tire to rest to settle; she did not understand the warrior; just as he couldn’t understand enough not to be. Where peace was never quite had, the warrior that could not rest; there is Aelin. Who just goes to war with him, for him, for them. She is his hope, his queen, his love, his world, his fireheart🥹, & his everything (& thankfully NOT because of the blood-oath; “"How does she do it?" Aelin asked baldly. "With Rowan, it's not ... Every order I give him, even casual ones, are his to decide what to do with. Only when I actively pull on the bond can I get him to ... yield. And even then it's more of a suggestion." "It is different with her," Gavriel said softly. "Dependent on the ruler it is sworn to. You two took the oath to each other with love in your hearts. You had no desire to own or rule him." Aelin tried not to flinch at the truth of that word—love. That day ... when Rowan had looked into her eyes as he drank her blood ... she'd started to realize what it was. That the feeling that passed between them, so powerful there was no language to describe it ... It was not mere friendship, but something born of and strengthened by it.” glad they clarified that to give consent). I’ve said this about them before and I’ll say it again there is something healing in how wholly they accept and understand each other (to the point you would think they are reading minds), how evenly matched and equal they are. They are two of the best matched characters I know of; at times even to a fault (but even that is taken in stride). Aelin and Rowan are everything they have ever been with the other. This isn’t a comparison, there’s something beautiful to each of them (I’ll even still say that to Dorian & Aelin, the way their friendship came to be, and re-reads what might have been) there is just the fact that this is different and I think it’s a special kind of something. And the fact in the matching for the other they can go to the ends of the earth together; whether it be as Queen and Prince (though he would make a good king ;-) or assassins, gentle souls trying to rest, never at rest but trying for peace, fae and shifters fire and ice, warriors, martyrs, saviors, villains, Kings Champion & Maeve’s Cadre, friends, mates, whatever it may be “to whatever end”.

I especially love them in the little things… all these moments that show everything I’ve said and more.

The detail in Rowan knowing the other side to Aelin keeping him at the beach, and it not taking away from the moment. He knows, he accepts it. They know the layers, they don’t pretend otherwise, they don’t run or fight it, they just sit with it. The way he held her & grounded her during the sea battle, believing in her even as she lost her balance in power, the way she came back from Deanna for him, the way she held on to him through the storm. She reminds him what he is; that he is everything she needs, she doesn’t take the bullshit, she doesn’t give up; she lends a hand, or lets him follow, or defends him. And they finally said it; I love you. — Actually better than that, worlds best quote award of: “I love you. There is no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.”They finally chose this, them; and the world needed it (I will go down with the ship of them as queen and king). … So, my shippers heart is happy, I want more, I’m happy they’re happy, I want them to stay happy. They are the best brightest threads of fate & for a book I’ve loved to see tie together, the Rowaelin ship has been pretty perfect.

And some random notes I keep wondering on:

The color green in this series… From Lysandra’s eyes (the one marker she keeps in each form; funny as it’s also Terrasen (her future Courts) color, to Rowan’s pine green (& often “home” like Terrasen descriptions (once again)) to the green roofing of Rifthold, or tiling of the desert, the stolen wax stamp rings, Terrasen’s color, etc. … it’s just used to tell a lot of story & I find it a fun note!

On the subject of these “fun notes” I’d also like to Mention Maasverse “deals” in wording; I find it so interesting how carefully phrased (like a genie) things need to be, yet kept to their word they are. I feel like there’s some loopholes within some plots right now using that clause (if only there was Mort to prove it!)… I miss Mort…

There’s all of Lysandra’s shapeshifting, the character in that, her character all together. And then moments like Rowan reaching her to fly, to have her own wings. And introducing more powers outside of fae.

Fenyrs possible… winnowing? Whatever reason it was that Rowan sent him to save Aelin instead of himself (obviously meaning he was more capable because Rowan would save her any means necessary).

And these aforementioned threads of fate are pretty brilliantly done, I look forward to continuing to enjoy them. From Oakwald to 10 years ago to the detail of plans (Aelin going to the temple, for Brannon & the Dragon, & her territory claim… etc.)… SO MANY!!!

Especially because of YOU!..

— Final, biggest most important book/fandom thought yet: —

THANK YOU to the Maasverse!

As someone who doesn’t know anyone reading these —one of my favorite things to do is talk about them with other fans— I’m thankful to still have that; I’m thankful that tumblr has that; and thankful that y’all are so welcoming, kind, talented, & lovely! (Limiting full tags as this post is ridiculously long and no one should “have” to read it😂)

There’s a long list of you, to name a few (others please know you are still on the list, loved & appreciated)!! @ archerons-elain @ highladyelenna @ iwantavaldezinator @ romantasyreader28 @ antvwinderbaum @ shadowhunters77 @ chaos-on-stand-bi @ theauroragalaxy @ impossibelle @ aelin-fire-heart @ autumnbabylon @ headboymalfoy @ somebooksbelonginthesinbin @ idfendyr @ winged-artistic-wolf @ batter-upp @ cheap-spirits @ just tsteffs50cts @ xxvalkyriesxx @ captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @ lynnsthoughts @ maevecrom @ stingy-swann @ mothlvrtothemoon @ wannaberachelgrxxn @ sweetokami @ avymiir

& so if I missed any, like I said just know you are so appreciated🫶 … and sorry I get confused sometimes (as this is technically a secondary blog to @lavendarneverlands lol😂). It’s always me though🤣

[unbelievably-sane]

Reasons why you should read the aftg (all for the game) series:

1. Vvv strong on found family, will make your insides gooey and want to cry

2. One of the healthiest relationships between two of the brightest red flags ever seen

3. A vv hate-able character, the kind you can't stand, who you'll grow to love in a not-normal way

4. Multiple vv hate-able characters who you'd want rotting dead in a pit

5. Beautiful trauma and beautiful violence which increases as you read further, oof

6. Neil is my son, he's an unreliable narrator and a pathological liar who is very observant but also painfully oblivious, very tactful and clever but also dumb af

7. The author is equally deranged as her books lol (kidding, ily Nora)

8. Did I mention everyone has trauma? So much trauma, so so much

9. You've heard of "I can fix them" but have you heard of "they are perfect everyone else is a loser so I'm gonna fix everyone else for them"

10. Perfect pacing

11. Best father figure to ever father figure (said father figure will deny it)

12. The Great Riko Roast, that's it

13. Features an absolutely unhinged and chaotic and violent co-ed sport

14. So many goosebumps-evoking moments, you'll feel the chill down your spine so many times esp in the second and third books

15. Queer, including the mc who is asexual

[sebadztian]

If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Hello and thank you for the ask!

Oh, erm... I love everything that I've written, but here's probably my top five.

1. An Earl and His Demon Butler is and will always be special to me. I've always loved their master-butler dynamic, but at the same time, I want to explore how being in a relationship would change/affect that dynamic. It turned out much fluffier than I thought, but this is my first exploration in Sebaciel dynamic. I've written many other versions of them, but this fic is the basic foundation of my other versions/take on Sebaciel and how I write them. Sorry if I"m not explaining it very well...

2. The Spare. Inspired by a headcanon post on @teddylovestea old Tumbr (unfortunately the internet blackhole has swallowed that post 😭). This story taught me a lot about my own writing style and how to develop my characters, their struggles, emotional developments, motivations, and how they interact with each other (romantically or otherwise).

3. Ciel Phantomhive and the Prisoner of Azkaban. My first crossover fic. Inspired by a casual convo that I had with a friend irl. We were talking about putting various characters into the HP world and since I was (still am) into Sebaciel, I decided to send them to Hogwarts. It was very fun to write, but I kind of forgot just how dark the HP universe gets in the later books 🥲

4. Phantom P. I. series. Not exactly a single story, I know, but I just love this series. I'm a big fan of murder mystery (most esp a certain Mr. Holmes) and I've always wanted to write Ciel as a detective. That's what first drew me to the manga, the mystery (Book of Murder is my favourite arc for a reason).

5. Learning to Love. It's one of my current WIPs. What started as the 'buffer' in between writing other fics has become its very own story. I have so much fun writing this because this one is different from the others in the sense that this one is not bound by any rules or canon plot. I can do whatever I want with it.

Oh, wow! I end up listing most of my multi-chaptered stories! But that's exactly why I love them. I spend time working on them, develop the plot and the characters, and go through their journey with them.

Thanks again for asking! Have a nice day/evening!

[bikananjarrus]

my (spoilery) thoughts from the high republic phase 1 comics (so far*):

(*i've read THR vol. 1-3, trail of shadows mini-series, and eye of the storm mini-series. next up i'll be reading monster at temple peak, and all the phase 1 high republic adventures)

keeve trennis. like that's it, that's the bullet point. keeve fucking trennis. so glad i finally got to meet her properly and she is SO. COOL. she immediately jumped up the list of my fave THR characters

keeve getting knighted by avar was very important to me 🥺 like every time one of these padawans gets knighted i feel like such a proud parent! (also bonus points for keeve rambling and basically telling avar "you're so fucking cool and i love you." like, same <3)

it was great to finally see what avar was up to during our time jumps between lotj and rising storm and fallen star. we know she was fighting the drengir and then chasing lourna; and we learn from her later that she really struggled with the darkness she encountered, esp when dealing with the drengir over and over. it was good to finally see more of the drengir and see everything that avar was going through

that scene in THR vol. 3 where avar almost killed lourna 👀 like this coming after her reprimanding sskeer for thoughtlessly killing nihil, and also paralleling elzar killing chancey. it was just a really good scene showing that this conflict with the nihil and the drengir and constantly being surrounded by violence and darkness can bring any of the jedi to their tipping point

sskeer and keeve's relationship means SO much to me 🥺💚 definitely one of my fave master-padawan duos to come out of the high republic so far!

really fun and not at all painful reading through the comics after the books and realizing "oh, you're dead. and you're dead. and you--yep you're dead too." like the house (starlight beacon) is haunted!!!!

maru is really cool and his last scene with avar i'm-- 😭

the artwork when keeve and terec first encountered the nameless was sooooooooo good

i reallyyyy enjoyed the eye of the storm mini-series. learning about the evereni people coming from a world of tempests and storms and how they evolved and adapted not to trust anyone was very good. it was nice finally getting a little more insight into marchion's character

the trail of shadows mini-series might be my favorite so far though! emerick is also SO. COOL. his friendship (and growing bond) with sian was really great. and well, i love a mystery! i love weird force shit! so the creepy lullaby about the nameless being woven throughout was really good.

emerick and stellan's friendship is very important to me 🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙

also that HUG between emerick and keeve 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭

also emerick knowing about the firebrands polycule lmaoooo. like everybody knows, and they're all just like "you know what? that's none of our business."

but also seeing stellan and avar so at odds with each other (both in trail of shadows and in the main THR comics) hurts bad. it hurts real bad. because they'll never get the chance to apologize to each other 😭

EDIT: i forgot to mention fuckin, buckets of blood stripping down to his underwear and then going to fight the nameless like?????? i mean he gave emerick his robes that had the nameless' blood on them, but bro you couldn't have just taken off your top robe?? pants had to go too??? (i mean i suppose if i was jacked like torban i also would strip down to my underwear). just a very funny moment in an otherwise very serious scene.

one more shout-out to keeve bc she's the COOLEST!!!

[beauzos]

7, 16, 21, 25 :3 for aa lol

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

I think this is Klavier for me. To be clear I already didn't really like him in the base canon, but I think this is also because I expected far more of him because of fanon lol. He really ain't shit and it does kind of boggle me that he's SO fucking popular when he's like. this cardboard man.

Now I'm all about adding way more meaning to characters who I think can have way more depth than they do in canon, and Klavier is ripe for the picking there because he IS an interesting guy conceptually, but I don't... like what people do with his character. I kinda just don't get it. Like when I see fanart of him, esp. Kla-pollo art, it doesn't seem like him. It's like he's a different guy. I do not know this man. He's not cringefail and dry enough LOL. And I'm tired of seeing him shoehorned in everywhere.

16. You can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

I don't want to complain about Klavier again, so... well with canon I really don't get why people like AA4 so much but I know that's not what the question is asking LMAO. It's more about the fandom than anything.

Here's one. I don't get how a lot of the fandom characterizes Nahyuta. And it's because he's very unpopular and people hate on him, so they make him out to be way worse than he is. Like, he is NOT a very good person but I feel like it gets to a point where people make shit up about him to get mad about, or read everything he does in the most bad faith way possible. Like saying he was intentionally trying to trigger Athena, or that he's horrible to Ema because he expects her to follow his own (insane and unhealthy, admittedly) work pace.

That's not him. I know him and he's not doing it out of malice. He's just a freak LOL. People love mischaracterizing him because they do not like him.

21. Part of canon you think is overhyped

Bearing in mind I love the original trilogy, I do think it's a little overhyped compared to the AJ trilogy. People act like DD and SOJ are monstrous compared to the original trilogy and I'm like... nottt really? The scale is bigger but I don't feel like they're meaningfully all that much different compared to the original trilogy.

I also think TGAA 1 is overhyped only if you view it and 2 as separate games. If you recognize they're a single game split in two (ala LOTR being split into three but is a single book) it explains a lot of the issues. I love TGAA 1 but its cases are a little all over the place or too slow for me. Great game though.

25. Common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

I think this is an obvious answer knowing me but I'm sick to bastard death of listening to people talk shit on SOJ. I fucking love SOJ, it's still my top AA game that isn't TGAA. Like it has some major writing issues but what's there is legitimately so great. The most stacked cast in any AA game. Not a single bad character, not a SINGLE bad case (though the fourth one is getting there plot-wise, but the character interactions are terrific), super fun worldbuilding even if some of it is goofy. Like AJ's backstory is goofy but I LIKE it. It's the most cohesive backstory he has so far and I love his connection to Nahyuta.

Khura'in is such a special place and the Khura'inese cast is spectacular, truly spectacular. They're all my top favorite characters in the entire series.

More specifically, I'm sick to death of people bitching about Nahyuta. He's definitely underwritten and he needed to be more present in the trials because I actually DO feel like his voice is missing a little from these cases, but he's a fucking shining star. My favorite character in the series. I think his concept is brilliant and he's got a terrific design, too. I find him infinitely compelling and so fun to explore in writing.

[marnz]

2023 book post

I read 63 books this year (i do count short stories & novellas) and there were epic highs (everyone read the school for good mothers) and epic lows (y'all read this shit? for real?).

here are my top ten, in no particular order, followed by thoughts on the rest. it's so long lol okay let's get into it

top ten.

the school for good mothers by jessamine chan - a perfect commentary on the prison industrial complex and how poor, single, and mothers of color are treated set in a chilling near future. loved it. i read this book in june and think about it daily.

edinburgh by alexander chee - this book is a modern classic for good reason. gay tragedy lovers this book is for YOU. the prose is so beautiful, so dream like, that i couldn't stop reading. i read this book in one sitting, very nearly a year ago, and i was completely devastated by it.

in the woods by tana french - love this for: unreliable narrator who sucks but is compelling; prose about the woods and the 1980s mystery; cassie; a police procedure that starts off by being like 'crucially you must understand that the police lie.' i have a weakness for atmospheric books and this has that in spades.

homegoing by yaa gyasi - this book is SO good and the prose and character voices are excellent. it's extremely epic but somehow only 300 pages?!? each character only gets 1 chapter but gyasi does SO much with each chapter 😭 i read this in one day because i could not stop reading. i also read gyasi's other book, transcendent kingdom, which was also very good.

some desperate glory by emily tesh - this book is a mindfuck and is one of the few times i've seen [spoiler] done well. there are a lot of things this book talks about--imperialism; artificial intelligence; fascism; white supremacy and how it intersects with gender; queerness; eugenics. i posted about it early when i had only read like 49% and i was soooo wrong to do so. read this and just trust me.

x by davey davis - okay are you ready for this? X is queer/trans bdsm neo noir mystery set in a dystopian near future. it is dark, it is consuming, it is surprising, it is a book i turn over obsessively whenever i can't sleep. i need to reread and i only read it a few months ago.

baru cormorant series/the masquerade by seth dickinson - this is 3 books but let's count it as one book. much has been said about baru as a cringefail autistic marxist lesbian icon (affectionate) but what i really appreciate about these books, other than how fucking gay they are, is the specificity of the world building. i have a theory that modern readers are in search of detail (and cruelly denied by much of publishing rn). seth dickinson loves details. seth dickinson is going to take semi familiar narratives and tell them in a brand new way using details; math; hyper specific words. god i love it

poverty by america by matthew desmond - relatively short book, read it in a day. i also read desmond's first book, evicted, and it is also SO good but what's sexy about this book is that modern american society and esp. politicians frequently likes to be like 'oh no, poverty is so tragic but it can't be solved' and desmond is like 'watch me.' for people who enjoy reading andrea long chu take downs reviews and want concrete solutions for how to build a better world.

station eleven by emily st. john mandel - many people told me this was the best book they've ever read and i was like 'whatever. i'll get to it when i get to it.' DO NOT BE ME!! read this!! i wouldn't say this is a happy book but it was a beautiful book. i loved it. i cried for about 90 minutes afterwards. for art lovers, weird theatre kids, people unafraid of plague books, non linear timeline lovers, people who have been divorced.

piranesi by susanna clarke - okay i read this on my flight to frankfurt earlier this year and it totally bowled me over with how lovely it was and how emotional i got. just a beautiful, delicate, haunting, eerie book. for fans of mysteries, people who love oceans, gothic houses, people who earnestly believed magic was real as kids and hope it's real today, people who love academic drama they aren't involved in.

okay damn honorable mentions: in the dream house by carmen maria machado (SO good, maybe deserves my rec more than piranesi), normal people by sally rooney (mainly because it did make me insane), under the banner of heaven by jon krakauer (thorough, horrifying), honey & spice by bolu babalola (SO fun), sula by toni morrison (stunning!!), severance by ling ma (millennial alienation during a plague, amirite?), trust exercise by susan choi (who knows what really happened? you'll understand).

okay now the worst books i read this year, aka books i did not vibe with:

broken harbor & the trespasser by tana french; did not enjoy broken harbor due to the themes and did not enjoy the trespasser due to how cringefail the ending was. you can't depict ongoing harassment a woman of color is experiencing in her workplace, make her decide to leave after two years of this harassment, and then back track it in the last chapter? please. this is a problem tana french runs into a lot, but that is a different post

the witch elm by tana french; parts of this book were absolutely delicious. but a lot of it felt very tedious and in need of a stern editor. so many books these days need more thorough editing and the result is that a potentially amazing book is just like, okay. i understand the power fantasy that this book is designed to be, but i'm not the right audience for it (disabled). also, generally i need a character to root for.

amateur by thomas page mcbee; SO sorry thomas. i didn't vibe with this book mainly because i don't think i'm the target audience for it. i'm not cis and i'm not straight?? i also am not interested in narratives about trans men wanting to prove their masculinity by taking up a violent sport. i think this tension is addressed in the book but it wasn't addressed to my satisfaction. violence is often all the world gives to men as a source of power and thus serves as a solace for everything patriarchy takes from them, so i suppose i understand wanting to be able to get a piece of that...logically that makes sense. but also. why.

the late americans by brandon taylor; the thing is, i fucking love real life by brandon taylor and i enjoy brandon's criticism and read his substack (although i disagree with almost every aesthetic opinion he has). so possibly my expectations were too high, but i read this and i guess i was just...wanted to know what the point is. gay people suffering in the midwest? as a genre, it slaps. as a book, i feel frustrated. it felt loose, pointless, in great need of editing. brandon talks about this book by talking about the importance of moral fiction, and this book lacks moral urgency for many of its stories. i've read a lot of moral fiction and this isn't it? anyway I read this in July and looking back all I remember is Seamus' journey and the way brandon dragged workshopping.

the angel of the crows by katherine addison; look. if you're going to write sherlock wingfic, put it on ao3. if you're going to file off the serial numbers, please work harder so i can't tell what it originally was. and absolutely nix the author's note saying it was sherlock fanfic, because that makes me very unhappy! personally!

99% mine by sally thorne; classic second book syndrome. except the third one is also not very good. too bad!

touched out by amanda montei; okay obligatory disclaimer that i'm not a mother or parent but rather an adult who loves my friends' kids! this book really frustrated me and i think i would have enjoyed it considerably more if it was all cultural criticism instead of a memoir (other than the dworkin parts????). a memoir is an art form, a set narrative, but criticizing it feels weird because i am criticizing the author's life decisions as presented to me, in a flattened context, in a controlled narrative. if the memoir parts were instead part of a fictional book i would not hold back lol. this book is marketed as the most important work of feminist scholarship in the last 30 years and...it ain't. i also felt the focus was incredibly narrow. while montei does attempt to cite a broad range of theorists i just kept finding myself wondering, what about people from other cultures? what about disabled mothers? what about queer mothers or parents? what about this? WHERE'S YOUR RESEARCH? WHERE ARE YOUR INTERVIEWS? there is a specific kind of feminism where white women act like their specific experience is the pinnacle of all suffering and tbh it isn't. this book reminded me of that very strongly. like, if you're telling me you won't have an epidural because it was invented by a man then you are not a useful person to engage with, thanks.

books that would have been amazing if not for that one part

he who drowned the world by shelley parker chan - man i have mixed thoughts on this book. look away my beloved swbts mutuals. okay the epic highs (ouyang & zhu!! ma!!) were set off by baoxiang lmao. i'm mainly interested in queer masculinity and femininity and a femme straight guy is like. well, good for him, but i don't really care? bring me back to my loveds zhu and ouyang. but my main gripe...tbh i think baoxiang is a hugely unreliable narrator that protests about a lot of things too much. being straight for one thing; not having a thing for esen is another. AND MORE COULD HAVE BEEN DONE WITH THIS? like i honestly wish the implied incest thing, which was brought up at least twice, was more present. taking a step back, if you're like well i'm straight and i don't have a thing for my dead brother i helped kill but i absolutely will be seducing the spitting image of him while i fuck my way to the top of the throne? that should make me insane. possibly it would have in a book that didn't already have ouyang. who can tell. so i wish SPC had leaned into that a lot more, i wish baoxiang hadn't felt like such a plot instrument, i wish there was more Ma, i wish spoilery completely unbelievable storyline was better, etc.

in memorial by alice winn - damn, this book. it was so good but it fell apart at the end. i respect winn's decision to not have it be perfectly easy after living through the untold horrors of the trenches of wwi but the idea of two brits running away to brazil to live out a life of colonial bliss because being gay wasn't explicitly illegal in brazil at a time is like. what? i guess. anyway, it was good, i just have some notes.

romantic comedy by curtis sittenfeld - here's the thing, i love curtis sittenfeld and i knew going in that this is a book by the author that wrote rodham but man, this is a book by the author that wrote rodham. this is the most Online book i've ever read (derogatory) and it's very specific in its liberal i'm an Online author on twitter type of deal. the point of the book is that Not Tina Fey falls for Male Taylor Swift on Not Saturday Night Live and it was good, it was fun, i wasn't expecting [spoiler] ummm but it worked. i had a good time.

this is very long, sorry.

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

Do you think we have any hope for Jelly being endgame for season 3? I'm guessing it's the final season if it's I need them to be endgame they're the main relationship of the series to me If it's not endgame why would I invest my time on season 3? Even if the cheating plot doesn't happen that still won't make the season good. You expect me to see Belly end up with this toxic jerk again and have Jere hurt again? Imagine watching the love of your life getting married to your brother ugh that would be the worst ending for Jeremiah Conrad doesn't really have anything with Belly all he does is same some corny ass line and it never lands the jelly relationship is more developed imo Conrad never wants her unless she' interested in someone else it's annoying didn't like him in the books don't in the show team Jelly forever.

I have no plans of watching s3 personally. And I'll wait for the season to finish before checking out who they ended up making the endgame. And apparently (due to the strikes I guess?) s3 will be out like after 2 years. Anyways as much as I hope Jenny has realised how bad of a look bonrad endgame is, Conrad is still hella romanticised and I don't trust her for delivering jelly endgame.

Exactly my point, there's no reason for making Belly end up with a toxic guy and romanticising it.

I feel that in a way, Jere did the right thing walking away knowing he'll never be appreciated but ugh does it break my heart to know that he's never appreciated enough 💔

Exactly, jelly has EVERY single thing under the sun going on for them, like every cute trope, best lines. Best friends to lovers, angst, mutual pining, telepathy, deep conversations, attraction, care, love, not to mention the chemistry & acting of Gavin and Lola. And like Jere has boundaries but still lets her bejeweled. Like how am I supposed to resist this ship!?! Jenny really did give them the best of everything (and then took it away and made them tragic lol)

While all bonrad has is infinity necklace (and Taylor songs in the bg in the show) lol

THIS!!! EVEN S1 Belly realised and acknowledged and admitted this that Conrad doesn't like her but likes that she is into him and chasing him. Plus every meaningful conversation esp to be clear on where they stand was initiated by Belly. Imo if tsitp was a one season show, it would make so much sense and provide a great plot twist and ending to make jelly the endgame and have it ended there. Like season 1 was amazing, it had Belly call out Conrad's bs and we finally had jelly only for the last scene to fuck it up.

I HATE HATE HATE that they erased all character development of Belly for a weak and toxic male character & romanticised a man who breadcrumbs her, is never emotionally available, hurts her and dare I say only sees her as a competition (coz I'm sick of twitter bonrad stans accusing Jere of this competition bs when if it's any brother who does this, it's clearly Conrad. Like all their accusations on Jere are literally a bunch of projections).

[mywingsareonwheels]

It's funny how much interpretations can vary. I saw another post where someone felt Lewis was too soft on Thursday by showing us what happened and therefore making us know that how it played out wasn't quite as bad as what Morse was probably imagining.

Although I disagree with you re: Thursday, I sympathize with the mixed feelings. I think there's a few factors with Endeavour which will influence how you feel about it. There's people who will know Morse through the books, people who know him from Inspector Morse, and then fans like me who were introduced to him as the young man in Endeavour. Fans of each of these versions seem to have wanted different things, and I reckon the problem Lewis ran into was trying to make everybody happy.

Like me for instance, I honestly feel he would've been better off pretending Inspector Morse didn't exist because then he wouldn't have been limited to twisting the story towards it and could take Morse and the other characters in a more organic direction. Endeavour might be a prequel, but it was made in such a different era of television, and I think it's ok for it to do something new. However, fans of Inspector Morse hoping to see how he became his older self would be disappointed if he did that. While watching the series I read old reviews from when each season aired and was surprised by the number of people impatient for the Thursday plotline to end to make way for McNutt. Then you have someone like Shaun Evans who read the books but didn't see the show, and that's perhaps why his interpretation of Morse and his future was darker.

At the same time that openness of how the character can be perceived is part of the joy and does allow you to get more out of what the ending means.

I actually really liked what they did with Thursday and how they connected it to Big Pete because I felt it went along with the recurring theme throughout the series that no matter how much these characters want to do good, as policemen they are still part of a messed up system causing harm, and they're not immune to protecting their own over doing what's right for the public they serve. That includes Morse. The whole tragedy of Big Pete and Blenheim Vale is an indictment of the police and remains so.

My takeaway regarding the Morse/Thursday ending is that it wasn't so much about Thursday being a bad person and Morse regretting the relationship because of it, as it was him being confronted with the reality that he had put him on a pedestal. He needed to let go of his naivety. I don't agree with the above point that Lewis was too soft on Thursday, but I do find it interesting that there is a distinction between Morse's perspective and ours. We saw parts of Thursday he didn't and we saw parts of Morse which Thursday didn't. They never truly knew each other because of being suppressed 20th century British men, and maybe that's the real tragedy of Endeavour.

Nonetheless, Morse still credits him with being the best mentor and loves him enough to protect him and his family. I think that's why he ultimately feels he has to close himself up. Because getting too close to the Thursdays put him in a position where he had to compromise his principles and couldn't get justice for Jakes, Big Pete, and the others. THAT'S what really hurt him imo. I also feel like the connection to Inspector Morse can work in that IM is him opening himself back up and Lewis bringing back a side of him which had been missing. I like the idea of Morse being a character constantly learning and changing.

Sorry, I didn't mean for this to turn into a whole essay. lmao

Hee, never apologies for writing a thoughtful essay about "Endeavour". :D

And yeah, as you say you and I don't fully agree about the show (esp. Thursday) but I found your thoughts so interesting and I really enjoyed reading them! Thank you. :)

Also that's a darn good point about Shaun. I've only read a couple of the books and I've seen I think about 1/3 of Inspector Morse (I mean, I watched a bit when I was a kid (I was 9 when it first started) but never got into it fully until I'd seen Endeavour and am meaning to catch up on more v soon), and Thaw's Morse is definitely different from Dexter's original Morse. So... yeah, it makes sense that Shaun had a different trajectory from the one I'm more familiar with. :) (And, well, then you have Roger who likes to play as much drama and emotional intensity as possible, so... ;-) )

Morse constantly learning and changing: yes, definitely. I like that. :D

[jenoutof10]

Hi.... If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....

hi! i definitely dont mind, this is such a fun ask so i'm SO SORRY ive only answered now 😭 also im horrible at explaining my thoughts so please bear with me...

1. jujutsu kaisen

i can go on and on about jjk but I'm trying to keep this short so I don't go on an endless rant. OKAY. i love the power system of jujutsu, it's simple but also pretty flexible and creative, i love the historical and traditional aspect of it + how it ties into clan culture, i love how it branches into barrier techniques, reverse cursed technique, binding vows, etc. for characters like gojo in particular i love how he's pictured as the strongest and how akutami shows the gap between him vs all other sorcerers, like he was in a whole different league and how his birth changed/tipped the balance of the world of jujutsu. i love the whole "saving others" thing like how yuuji wants to save everyone, megumi wants to save good people, nobara wants to save the people who mean alot to her, gojo thinking abt how he can only save people who want to be saved, geto wanting to save sorcerers from non sorcerers, etc. i like how the series has aspects of history (like how sugawara no michizane was a sorcerer and how his descendants include the gojo clan is ⅓ of the three main clans of the series, and basically the entirety of tengen (lol)). i love the anime adaptation and how crazy the animation is (when s1 came out i was alr baffled but after watching s2 and looking back at s1 im even more impressed at their development), the manga's artstyle i was a big fan of but now not so much (the scratchyness and alternating thick and thin rough lines around the time of shibuya arc were PEAK). besides that as a buddhist myself, the multiple buddhism references in the series really cemented my love for it as it felt familiar and it feels like ur getting a shout out esp since most shows feature themes of catholicism and christianity.

2. blue lock

i'm honestly unathletic af idk why im here. i think what hooked me was the whole individualistic + egoist concept and the elimination setting (like squid game) 🙏 for me blue lock's prime is [2nd selection, 4v4] until the end of [u20 arc], i really liked the art style during that period! sadly, i feel blue lock has fallen off ever since the current NEL arc, it feels as if theyve deviated from the original ego concept (fuck this whole "protagonism" thing man wtf) and the artstyle has undergone changes im not particular to. also the anime wack af.

3. bungou stray dogs

im going to be honest. i did NOT like bsd. s1-s3 was too all over the place for me and i really did not get the series at all, i actually thought it ended but then they released s4 & s5 in 2023. almost a year since s4 came out, i came around to watching it and i got HOOKED, i think a big factor was that there was less fillers and a lot more action scenes, plus the detective vs mastermind thing truly popped off in s4 + s5. besides that, i enjoyed the introduction of new cast and the return of previous ones (now as allies). sure, there's plot holes and the anime cuts off a handful of scenes but it WAS an incredibly enjoyable watch. plus i'd say bsd has mountains of content (atleast in comparison with other serieses) because besides your usual manga, anime, and occasionally stage play adaptation. you have the alt univ. BEAST, light novels like stormbringer or 55 minutes, wan!, and even bsd gaiden (which has nothing to do w the main series)

4. haikyuu

THE classic. it was the first anime i got into when i started quarantine and it brought back my animanga phase. i love how the characters all have interesting stories to tell, their own motivations and personalities. lots of teamwork, teambuilding, found family(?) aspects, plus all the themes have their own specific themes which i dig a lot (ex. inarizaki and their foxes + shrines). plus i love how this series captures the thrill of watching sports, it MIGHT be overexaggerated to some but i get lightheaded when theyre at match-point and on the verge of losing so it does provide some kind of high. OH and i like that they show realistic wins and losses.

5. hunter x hunter

i have not read the manga but this show was serious to me. i'm a sucker for meta and power systems, and nen is like... actually insane. i love the characters SO MUCH, the variety of designs and appearances, how the series shows the way they grow throughout their adventures and experiences, the way they show a character's relationship with the rest of the cast, etc. it also gives a somewhat nostalgic vibe? i love the opening, endings, OSTs + narrator. it truly does feel like ur tagging along on their adventures, it was a real tearjerker for me tbh.

6. avatar: the last airbender + the legend of korra

i think atla is an amazing show bcs 1. cool setting and world building 2. the cultural references 3. cool dynamics 4. character personalities and development 5. cool power system and fighting styles 6. found family etc etc... ITS A COMPLETE PACKAGE. im p sure not much are fond of tlok but i love it. i think some reasons include the fact that korra isnt like aang, but i think thats what makes tlok interesting, korra is 17 when the show starts and the show continues to follow how she grows and develops into a fully realized avatar both physically and spiritually. i also think its bcs of how they modernized bending and how lots of the cultural aspect is lost but i think its an incredible and interesting way to showcase real life modernization.

7. jojo's bizarre adventure

jjba CHANGED ME 😭 this series is actually insane like if it was a person please get it to a mental ward. i think as an artist, it holds a very dear place in my heart. the show itself is absurd and unbelievable so it keeps you on your toes (dont mind the plot holes and inconsistencies, at some point you're just gonna have to live with it). but the selling point for me is the characters, everyone has amazing, colorful and distinct designs that match well with their personalities and overall air. not to mention the artstyle and references in everything to everything? lol. the show's different parts also feature different main casts, dynamics and storylines, sometimes they do a callback to a previous part.

okay! it was very hard choosing between the 7 of them but i think they actually were the ones that truly left an impact on me. thank you so much for the ask i finally got the chance to ramble about the stuff i consume 😭😭😭 there's a lot of media I'd love to talk about and mention so maybe one day ill make a post on hopefully all the media ive consumed.

honorable mentions:

genshin impact

i started genshin in 2021 when 1.3 came out, i was dead serious about this game during quarantine. i love liyue so much its what truly got me hooked (everything from the music, the sights, etc. for me liyue/pre inazuma was prime genshin), i enjoyed building characters and doing showcases too. started losing interest when sumeru came out and slowly stopped logging in/playing daily. the reason i wont put this in the actual list is bcs im pretty clueless about the new characters and story, nor do i have much interest in them. (i came back to do the lantern rite event, love the new liyue regions!)

detective comics

i love action and fights, especially when they feature powers, so liking superheroes makes sense 🤷 DC gets shit on alot bcs of the DCEU but the films aside i like DC better than marvel. im particular to gotham and the batfam, it's just more dark and gritty, plus there's lotsa drama going on LOL. the gotham knights cast also branches alot like to young justice (I LOVE YOUNG JUSTICE 😭), teen titans, titans, birds of prey, and ofc justice league.

chainsaw man, mob psycho 100, code geass, assassination classroom, neon genesis evangelion, trigun, fairy tail

[uhohbestie]

hey besties i have fanfic-themed but not directly plot-related questions! well, mostly

question 1) do yall have any favorite zombie media? was there anything in particular that yall are drawing on for your fic?

personally i've been scared of zombie movies all my life lol but because of tamn i've finally been trying to finish the world war z audiobook? (the last time i tried getting thru it was pre covid which has been. a weird experience) it's fully voice acted and i like it so far! super different from the 2013 movie with brad pitt

question 2) :3 do you guys think you'd be up to talk about the no-apocalypse au where scarian get to have a normal breakup someday? :3 it doesn't have to be now or anytime soon but i'd be into hearing about it!

anyways hope yall are having a good day lock and key ^_^

These are some really REALLY good questions!!!

for starters! for me (Lock) I actually didn't start watching zombie media until Key introduced me to it! We watched the Korean series All Of Us Are Dead together, and then followed it with Last Of Us (the tv adaptation) and the first seasons of The Walking Dead, so I've have a very curated window into zombie media (actually! We watched Walking Dead as research for TAMN, because Key wanted to make sure I understood what hordes of zombies in cities look like!)

As for Key's zombie exposure (lol): I (Key) WAS BIG INTO ZOMBIES GROWING UP!! Constant zombie media consumption--probably one of my earliest hyperfixations ngl I feel like what we're drawing on while we write TAMN is an amalgamation of all our favourite bits from the things we've seen together, as well as some of my favourite formative zombie medias while growing up.

The Walking Dead Season 1 remains like, one of my all-time favourite seasons of any television show ever, so that's definitely a big influence. (Some of the later seasons get a lot less of my love LOL) The Korean movie Train to Busan is also a popular one you may have heard of--I'd definitely recommend giving that a go if you're okay with zombie media that veer on the side of tragic. When The Last of Us (Part One) came out, it quickly became my favourite zombie-oriented video game, though a lot of its predecessors (Resident Evil series esp.) really gripped me (even though it took me ages to play-through cuz they would scare the shit out of me LMAO) Its TV show is also an excellent adaptation, so if you're not into playing it or watching a Let's Play, the show is a good bet! The UK series In the Flesh was also an interesting look into After™ the apocalypse, and though it was cancelled after it's second season, it's also worth a watch for a fresh perspective on zombie media. 28 Days Later was an excellent movie and ofc Dawn of the Dead is a classic. And then the usual comedies like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, etc.

I saw World War Z as a movie but never read the book! I should def give it a try--idk why I never did! God, honestly I could ramble about zombie media forever if given the chance 😂 None of this even begins to cover the sheer amount of zombie comics I read. I was very much a "webcomic" era kid, so a lot of my favourite old original zombie comics are either offline now or I simply don't remember what they were called anymore, so I have no way to track them down :( I did recently enjoy the webtoon Boyfriend of the Dead as a light-hearted, humourous read, but there were a lot of gripping, nuanced, plot-heavy original comics like a decade ago that I loved and I wish I could link. ANYWAYS. I'LL STOP MYSELF HERE AND LET LOCK ANSWER QUESTION NUMBER 2 LMAO

HI IT'S LOCK. I'M BACK. Now, as for a non-apocalypse Scarian scenario, we've actually thought about this a LOT! One of our favourite things to do is make an AU, and then multiple "what if one key things was different" spinoffs of the same AU.

We're gonna put this under a read-more, in case you'd like to keep the "what if" a mystery forever, but to sum up:

In an alternate reality where Scar and Grian break up and then the zombie apocalypse doesn't happen........ they stay broken up! Scar gets what he longs for in the fic: time away from Grian to hurt and grieve and heal with the support of his close friends who care about him.

It takes him a while until he feels ready to date again, but Scar does eventually start a new relationship with someone he knows really well, and has loved and trusted for a long time. They get engaged and start planning their wedding..............

............. and then Grian comes back and says he's sorry, that he misses Scar, that he was wrong, and that he doesn't want to be without him. And Scar................... takes him back.

It's-- listen, it's not the best possible outcome! But we're basing heavily on the Life Series Scarian dynamic, which is itself incredibly nuanced and complicated and tragic and a little bit "you're both bad for each other." It's part soulmates, and it's part codependence, and it's partly killing the person you love with your bare hands alone in the desert, and how that guilt ends up haunting you into every other subsequent timeline. Grian's not the best person for Scar as he is, and Scar's not the best person for Grian, but they want to be with each other, and unfortunately that desire often overrides common sense.

As for what happens after that.... we don't know yet! It was a thought experiment we worked through and ultimately realised "oh, it's WAY better for them that the zombies DID happen in the long run, 'cause without them this would be awful." (Not that the zombies are great, but woof......... Scarian, c'mon.) In this version of events, they lose a lot of friends when Scar takes Grian back, and the isolation suits Scar poorly. It takes them a much longer time to work through how to be good for one another. If the zombie apocalypse was good for anything, it was forcing a reckoning of what they wanted and how to get it--the only other option was death. Without that hanging over their heads, it takes Scarian years to reach any sort of resolution, which (no spoilers but) takes TAMN!Scarian a much shorter amount of time to get to.

Hope that answers your question! The 'what ifs' are our favourite, so we love to ramble about them hahaha <3

[iambibliophilic]

My all-time favourite books &recs!

1. The murderbot series by Martha Wells. I truly cannot fault these books. Sci-fi with an undercurrent of the ethical ramifications of a society with human/robot constructs. First few are very short, then book 5 is a full novel. Diverse cast of characters, casual non-binary rep (esp later on), polyamory, asexual rep. 10/10 humour. What more could you want?

2. The Hidden Legacy series by Ilona Andrews. Spicy urban fantasy. First trilogy revolves around human lie detector Nevada, second trilogy from the point of view of her sister. My favourite books are 4 and 5 (especially 4!). Such a cosy cast of characters I love them so much. Prepare for some problematic stuff in book one though omg I did not remember that the love interest did THAT how did they recover from that I’ll never know. Also stop whitewashing these characters they’re mixed race and it’s mentions that explicitly (although one criticism I have of Ilona andrews is that even their POC read like white characters. More depth needed)

3. The innkeeper chronicles by Ilona Andrews. I think it’s described as paranormal romance? But I would describe it as urban SCI-FI. I would say consider the first book a prequel of sorts and judge the series more starting from the second book. Again they’re pretty short. Defo get better as the series progresses since the world-building takes a while. Maud’s book was so unexpectedly phenomenal I highly highly recommend. Technically this series is most enjoyable after reading the author’s On The Edge series but I won’t put you through that. (I love those books but objectively only book 4 is perfect so decide for yourself if you want to give that series a go once you’ve seen Ilona Andrews’ other work. It’s their oldest series so the fact that it’s not their best is actually a really good sign - you can really see their growth and how they’ve improved as authors with every publication.) Don’t get excited they’re not non-binary: Ilona Andrews is the name of a husband and wife who write books together. They also happen to be my favourite authors so get ready for me to recommend all of their books to you

4. Red, white and royal blue by Case McQuiston. The perfectest perfect book out there. I’m just putting it on here to show you I have good taste

5. The Second Mango series. I’ve only read the first two but now that I’m getting better (I’ve been sick for the past couple of years) I’m rereading them and looking forward to reading the rest of them. Very short little books only available on Amazon unfortunately and no audiobooks rip. The most heartwarming story ever - lesbians, dragons, Judaism, magic, what more could you want? Fantasy series with quite simple storytelling. Lots of brown people yay. Kind of accidentally forgets trans people exist in the first book

6 There is a light by Ban Gilmartin. Love it. So full of humour it’s impeccable. Brown rep, gay and bisexual rep. Poetry, trans rep. Non binary rep. I’m just listing types of rep but in my head I’m telling you all the ways in which this book rocks. One thing is rep and another is doing it well. This book does it well and then some. Highly recommend. Tw: suicide

7. All for the game series. Do I really need to recommend this to tumblr though this is literally the only place that knows about these books. Gay, crimes, sports but don’t let that dissuade you the sports is actually a highlight of the series. I love my child Neil Josten and I love these books an unholy amount. If you do read them half of the enjoyment is looking through the content on tumblr so definitely do that after. Ooo also check out the art of one ‘polarts_’ on insta

8. The name of the wind books by Patrick rothfuss. The most misogynistic series I know but the world building and storytelling is impeccable. I would say these books are the polar opposite to the second mango: no gays, too many white people and it takes itself so seriously. The writing style is a bit much sometimes but I seriously love the story so, so much. It’s rich and well constructed and funny and yes. Also sad omg you don’t even know

9. The stormlight archives by Brandon Sanderson. Anything by him to be honest and like Ilona Andrews you can really see his growth as an author as time passes - in his case it’s to do with misogyny bc his earlier series (mistborn) reeks of Patrick rothfuss-level sexism but unlike Patrick he does something about it. Stormlight is way less sexist, almost not sexist actually, and his sci-fi series Skyward is even better in terms of that. Stormlight is a CHONK though so buckle in for a good time and a long time. High fantasy, lots of brown people and actually unexpected non binary rep? But don’t get your hopes up cos it’s not a human being. And it’s not till like book 4. Better than nothing though! Not gay enough

10. Kate daniels series by Ilona Andrews. Listen, I love this series wholeheartedly. Favourite author, remember? But the first two books and the first book in particular is not very good. The authors themselves say that. I recommend starting at book two and waiting till book three to decide whether to read the series. It’s urban fantasy with the best chemistry between characters I’ve ever seen. (Can start with book one if you want but be warned there’s gratuitous sexual assault descriptions/ sexual harassment. It was the urban fantasy scene at the time but yeah not the mos pleasant reread. Can be tricky to get your head around the world building but it’s so worth it I promise!) Not enough queer rep but they tried a little. Some brown rep but not really enough. (Again, main character is brown but doesn’t read like it. I understand why given how she’s raised but then there’s a few kinda racist/ fetishising things said about her appearance so -_-). Excellent epic storytelling, excellent humour and phenomenal characters. Can skip book 5.5 if you want but don’t skip Hugh’s book - read it between Kate Daniels books 9 and 10. It’s excellent you won’t regret it. And don’t forget to read Aurelia Ryder when you’re done with Kate Daniels.

11. SAGA graphic novels. Graphic is correct cos there’s explicit everything in these books. Amazing storytelling, diverse set of characters. Sci-fi, feminist. Yes yes very recommend

BONUS: 12. If you’ve already read six of crows and crooked kingdom then king of scars and rule of wolves by Leigh Bardugo. Best enjoyed if you’ve read the grisha trilogy too but once again I won’t put you through that if you haven’t. These books defo smack of YA especially in the plot at certain points but OH MY GOD they are so epic and fast-paced and heists and shenanigans. 10/10 so enjoyed them. Warning I repeat: only read AFTER the six of crows duology, especially Crooked Kingdom for spoiler reasons. Once you have read king of scars and rule of wolves I recommend checking out jaded.draws’s art on instagram and also polarts_ again. Both make such beautiful art but it is slightly spoilerly if you haven’t read all the books. Also can we talk about the Shadow and Bone tv show because they did such a good job with it somehow?? It is it’s own work of art and I highly enjoy it

I recognise that my favourite books are overwhelmingly (exclusively?) written by white people and there’s varying amounts of diversity in them. I’m actively working to remedy that and I plan to post an updated list once I’ve read a little more broadly. These are just the books that are closest to my heart and I’ve wanted to share them on here for a while (read: a decade 💀). I hope you find a new book to love on this list but if not you can make fun of me for the ones I do! Also the format of this post is unforgivable but it’s my first one and I’m chronically ill so I’m not gonna put any more effort in that I already have. Xoxo have a good day!