#i loved odo and quark best as i imagine all children do

[simptasia]

i think my brain pretty much processes the characters of TNG and VOY as family members due to me growing up with them, so i'm really glad mum wasn't into DS9 when i was small or else i might not want julian bashir in such a deeply carnal and salacious manner

[incorrect-star-trek]

7 of 9, B'Elanna Torres, Deanna Troi, Jadzia Dax, Quark and William Riker for the ask thing. Any one or all of them. :3

This is ganna be long so lets do this

1.) 7 of 9

favorite thing about them

Just everything about her honestly. Her personality, her sense of humor, her desire to learn. I think it’s because my ADHD pairs very well with people who are on the spectrum making them my best of friends.

least favorite thing about them

I feel like she could have been less sexualized

favorite line

“Impossible is a word humans use far to often.”

brOTPTuvoc

Tuvoc and the Doctor

OTP

Harry Kim and you can take it from my cold dead hands

nOTP

Janeway

random headcanon

Naomi gave her a stuffed animal one day and even though she thinks it’s unnecessary she still keeps it and uses it as a display. 

unpopular opinion

Even though she was dressed to be sexy it’s ok. Based on the times isn’t that bad.

song i associate with them

Man in the Mirror

favorite picture of them

2.) B'Elanna Torres

favorite thing about them

She’s super strong and doesn’t take no shit from anyone

least favorite thing about them

The way she abandoned her Klingon side. It caused problems with her anger issues. It’s one thing to chose not to engage in the culture but you can’t ignore who you are.

favorite line

It may be the warriors who get the glory, but it's the engineers who build societies.

brOTP

I actually can’t imagine her having a bro type relationship with anyone

OTP

Again I have no real desire to see her in a relationship.

nOTP

Chakotay

random headcanon

I honestly don’t care enough about her to have headcanons.

unpopular opinion

She’s actually don’t really care much for this character. Idk why I just don’t. I do think she should have appeared a bit more Klingon tho

song i associate with them

Never cared enough to look

favorite picture of them

3.) Jadzia Dax

favorite thing about them

Her wild spirit

least favorite thing about them

I love her so none I can think of

favorite line

What is this preoccupation you have with dying? I think living is much more attractive.

brOTP

Sisko, Bashir and/or Quark

OTP

Let her be single and fool around. OR Worf but it’s not monogamous

nOTP

Bashir and Sisko

random headcanon

Jadzia owns a stripper poll. Really it belongs to Dax Jadzia just choses to own it

unpopular opinion

The actress had every right to leave the show because she had enough of the director. And she should have never been replaced

song i associate with them

Mooo! by Doja Cat

favorite picture of them

4.) Quark

favorite thing about them

Him sneaky and snarky. Also his own morals mixing with ferengi ideals

least favorite thing about them

He’s a rat bastard and a bitch

favorite line

Go ahead, kill me! That's why I'm here, isn't it, to be killed? Well, here I am, so go ahead and do it. You all want me to pick up that sword and try to fight him, don't you? But I don't have a chance and you know it! You only want me to put up a fight so your precious honour will be satisfied. Well, I'm not going to make it so easy for you. Having me fight D'Ghor is nothing more than an execution, so, if that's what you want, that's what you'll get. An execution. No honour, no glory. And when you tell your children and your grandchildren the glorious story of how you rose to power and took Grilka's House from her, I hope you remember to tell them how you heroically killed an unarmed Ferengi half your size.

brOTP

Jadzia

OTP

Odo and Pel

nOTP

Literally anyone else

random headcanon

He likes strong women who can kick his ass

unpopular opinion

He’s actually a super charming individual and I know he can charm his way into anyone’s pants if given enough time

song i associate with them

Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time

favorite picture of them

5.) Deanna Troi

favorite thing about them

Her compassion and open mindedness

least favorite thing about them

Really it was all the writers fault about anything I didn’t like so yeah

favorite line

Confidence is faith in oneself. It can't easily be given by another.

brOTP

Tasha, Riker and Data

OTP

Idk I don’t really ship her with anyone

nOTP

Riker

random headcanon

She likes to spend time with Data to help him practice poetry and being more human. Spot has taken a liking to her

unpopular opinion

She should have been able to be a stronger character. Also she shouldn’t have married Riker

song i associate with them

Strut by Cheetah Girls

favorite picture of them

6.) Wiliam Riker

favorite thing about them

You have to earn his respect and I respect that

least favorite thing about them

I feel like he could be less of a womanizer

favorite line

Maybe if we felt any human loss as keenly as we feel one of those close to us, human history would be far less bloody.

brOTP

Data, Deanna and Picard

OTP

Guinan and Data but both as like a fuck buddies thing

nOTP

Deanna

random headcanon

He’s pansexual

unpopular opinion

I don’t hate the character. He’s good but the writing was done poorly

song i associate with them

Girls/Girls/Boys

favorite picture of them

[sshbpodcast]

Tales from the Holodeck: DS9 Fanfic: Caitlin’s Teleplay

In celebration of A Star to Steer Her By’s fourth anniversary, we did what pretty much all theaters are doing right now and put together a little Zoom reading. This time around, our latest fanfics in our “Tales from the Holodeck” series are all Deep Space Nine teleplays that you can listen to us cold read here (this one starts at 2:51), complete with really dodgy attempts at accents! Follow along with Caitlin’s teleplay below or read with your friends with your own dodgy accents!

[images © Paramount/CBS]

“Constable Odo Day!”

By Caitlin

Random pick: Odo

Scene 1 - the promenade. Odo enters to see, to his surprise, that garish decorations had bloomed there overnight, proclaiming “Happy Constable Odo Day!’ 

ODO: (displeased Odo sound – you know the one, Jake)

SISKO: Constable! I see you’ve found our surprise – isn’t it wonderful? Happy Constable Odo Day!

ODO: (uncomfortable) Yes, wonderful… But I don’t approve of all of these fire hazards on my promenade... 

SISKO: (chuckling) I assure you, all necessary precautions have been taken. Besides, it’s a station-wide holiday – we’re giving you the day off, and we have lots of surprises in store for you!

ODO: (annoyed Odo sound)

KEIKO enters, walks quickly to ODO and SISKO, grabbing the Constable’s arm.

KEIKO: Odo, I’m glad I got to you fir- … well, second! Come see what the children have done for Constable Odo day!

ODO: (incredulous) How is it possible, with ALL of my contacts, that I didn’t hear ANYTHING about this?

SISKO: I don’t know if this will make you feel better, or worse – but it required a little help from Morn.

ODO: I’m impressed – I wouldn’t expect Morn of all people to be able to keep a secret!

Scene 2 - KEIKO’s classroom. The students have been busy with Odo-themed art projects. DAX awaits within, holding a small, mostly featureless doll in a security uniform, made in ODO’s image.

DAX: (laughing) There’s the guest of honor! Happy Constable Odo Day, Odo.

ODO: I’m glad you are amused by this, Lieutenant.

DAX: Odo, don’t be such a grump! For one day, cut loose a little and have fun.

ODO: This may be hard to believe, but for me, my work IS fun, not all this being the center of attention…

KEIKO: (gushing) Surely even the Constable isn’t immune to the charms of all the student projects! Nalas created a beautiful portrait, Antos carved this wooden figurine... and Jake even wrote you this wonderful short story where you’re a 20th century private investigator – what they used to call a “private eye”...

ODO accepts the tablet containing Jake Sisko’s story.

ODO: (under his breath) Well, this, at least may have some merit… I uh, think I’ll return to my quarters so I can read this immediately. Thank you, Keiko, and all my thanks to your students as well. 

Before anyone can object, ODO exits. The rest follow behind, puzzled. After everyone has left, the little ODO doll springs to life, comically looking one way, then the next, before disappearing from our view.

Scene 3 - ODO’s chambers. Thinking he has escaped, briefly, ODO sits down and breathes a sigh of relief.

The doorbell rings.

ODO: (annoyed) ENTER.

KIRA enters. ODO leaps to his feet to greet her.

ODO: Major, what a pleasant surprise. Have you heard about this Constable Odo Day utter non-

KIRA: Of course I heard, that’s why I’m here. I know in spite of my d’jarra, my work isn’t much, but I made this to commemorate the day.

KIRA produces a small sculpture from behind her back; it looks like a melting popsicle. ODO accepts it, bemused.

ODO: Major, I don’t think I’ve ever been more touched. What… what is it?

KIRA: (blushing) Why, it’s you, Odo – at the time between humanoid Odo becoming… something else. It doesn’t look like much, but I put my heart into it.

ODO: I have never been so pleased by any gift. Thank you, Major.

ODO and KIRA gaze into each other’s eyes, until… the doorbell rings.

ODO: (actually really fucking annoyed) ENTER!

SISKO enters.

SISKO: There you are, Odo! Oh, Nerys, I didn’t know you’d be here – I hope I’m not interrupting anything.

ODO: (quickly) No, Captain, Major Kira was just bringing me this, uh, beautiful sculpture she made for me. For Constable Odo Day.

KIRA: (laughing) A Kira Nerys original, Captain.

SISKO: (also laughing) Another fine piece of work, Major. (Serious) Odo, I’m sure right now you must feel pretty overwhelmed with all of this – 

ODO: Yes sir, it has been most irregular and has really disturbed my schedule –

SISKO: Good, good! We really wanted you to enjoy the day!

Odo: (flat) Oh yes. It has been most... enjoyable.

SISKO: Well, we saved the best for last! 

KIRA: Second-best, I think you mean...

SISKO: ...yes, second-best, Major. I’m going to take you to a baseball game in the holosuites!

ODO: A baseball game in – (stops, defeated, seeing the excitement in Sisko’s eyes). Yes, sir, I can’t imagine anything I’d… enjoy more…

SISKO: I hoped you’d feel that way! 

SISKO hands ODO a London Kings baseball jersey.

SISKO: Here, get changed into this, and meet me at Holosuite 8 in 15 minutes! I have to go change!

Exit KIRA and SISKO. ODO studies the jersey Sisko has given him, concentrates for a moment, and shapeshifts so it looks like he’s wearing the jersey. He steps in front of a mirror to check his work.

ODO: Well, I certainly am getting better at clo-

BZZT! ODO is stunned with electricity from behind; we can see the taser-style weapon, but not who holds it. ODO falls unconscious, becomes ODO goo.

A hand reaches into shot to pick up the jersey; we hear a laugh as the scene fades.

Scene 4 - Quark’s 

Some time later…

ODO runs into Quark’s bar, looking a little wild. He is approached by O’BRIEN and BASHIR.

BASHIR: There’s the man of the hour – Happy Constable Odo Day!

ODO: Thank you, but I’m here on urg-

BASHIR: No urgent business today, Constable – come and have a pint with Miles and I, have a round of darts…

O’BRIEN: Yes, Constable, join us for one round of daerts! Who knows – you might like it?

ODO: No, I can’t right now – I really have to –

BASHIR: Constable, lighten up – we won’t keep you long – just a half-hour or so?

O’BRIEN: Aye, we just want a small chunk of your time…

ODO: You don’t understand – I have more important –

Enter: SISKO and… ODO?! Both wearing baseball caps, jerseys, holding pennants, and laughing gaily together.

SISKO: Somehow I just KNEW you would love baseball, Odo…

ODO 2: (A little too happily) Captain, I cannot think of anything I have ever enjoyed more... 

O’BRIEN notices the second ODO, does a spit take from his pint.

O’BRIEN: Jaysus! Odo – there’s two of you! 

BASHIR: Oh, dear. But which one is the real Odo?

O’BRIEN: (panic stricken) ‘Ow are we gonna tell ‘em apaert?

Quark enters, whistling, strips of latinum sticking out of his pockets, and carrying a tray laden with tiny buckets, full of shimmering golden liquid; approaches ODO 2.

QUARK: There you are, constable! You simply must try one of my limited-edition-commemorative-Constable-Odo-Day-Odo-bucket cocktails – just 1 strip of lat… Well, for you, I guess it’s on the house... But don’t get used to it.

ODO 2: How generous, Quark – thank you! (accepts drink, shoots it)

SISKO: (puzzled) Odo, I’ve seen your coffee trick, but I didn’t think you’d moved on to actually… ingesting food and drink? Perhaps I should have planned that banquet after all...

ODO: (enraged/bemused) I think if everything else wrong with this picture hasn’t clued you in, Doctor, that should answer your question – this impostor did an all right job of impersonating me, apparently enough to fool the Captain, but – can you imagine me being so pleasant to Quark, quaffing down one of his cheap gimmicks – or enjoying baseball?!

BASHIR: … Now that you mention it, no. 

FOUNDER 48Σπ7 (nee ODO 2): (transforms into other, oddly shaped humanoid Founder) Who would have thought, on a station so large, we would bump into each other like this?! Grah! (transports away. To where? Who cares!)

ODO: That’s what I was trying to tell you, while you two fools wouldn’t stop yammering about darts – there was another Founder on the station, wreaking who knows what kind of havoc and now they’ve escaped! (turning to Quark, rage building) And you! Using my… image… to make money? On Constable Odo Day?!

QUARK: (backing away, nervous) You know, Odo, you really should be thanking me – after all, it was my limited-edition-commemorative-Constable-Odo-Day-Odo-bucket mini cocktails that tipped everyone off that you weren’t… quite yourself today....

ODO: (frustrated) QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!

-FIN-

—

Check out Ames, Jake, and Chris’s stories for more Tales from the Holodeck! Also, be sure to keep listening on SoundCloud, follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and pick up your own limited-edition-commemorative-Constable-Odo-Day-Odo-bucket mini cocktail at Quark’s, on us!