#i love writing about dick grayson he's so wholesome and good and he makes my heart feel so so so FULL

[coolestwriterartistthatsucks]

How the Batboys View Food (HCs)

(A/N: BIG OL TRIGGER WARNING. I’ve been writing other stuff on other blogs but I wanted you to dump this here cause writer is struggling with food :3 and I see a lot of ways that the batboys could have the same mindsets. So this is a lot of me projecting but also just drabbling. Pretty angsty I guess in some parts, enjoy. If you’re struggling with eating or self-image, feel free to reach out to me bb, my dms are open <3)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: eating disorders, unhealthy views of food, anxiety, food insecurity, angst, writer lowkey projecting, this shit is probably VERY decently triggering so be warned please please please, my feelings will not be hurt if you skip

Let me reiterate that THESE ARE NOT HEALTHY VIEWS OF FOOD. Many of the thoughts portrayed are HOW THEY THINK of food, not ways you SHOULD or COULD think of food. It’s cathartic to see them through the light of my own issues, I wanted to share. Love you all.

————————

Bruce Wayne

Probably one of the healthiest views of food

He grew up without ever having food insecurity AT ALL bc he’s so so rich

But he has been starving before when he worked with the League of Shadows, which means he knows the feeling.

All it is is unpleasant to him, though

He’s trained to be able to deal with it, so I think Alfred definitely has to make sure he’s eating

But he’s not doing it on purpose.

He understands EDs, and he takes them super seriously, but he’s never struggled with that, really.

He might go through phases of body dysmorphia because of wanting to be as physically adept as he can be, but I don’t think that would have to do with restricting food very much.

Again, Alfred lets him know when he’s doing too much

I think he likes good food, but he’s been so spoiled in that sense that it’s not really a big priority to him

Dick Grayson

Writer projecting on Dick Grayson pt 1/many

Ok so Dick was raised in the circus, being a child athlete (acrobat)

Obviously his parents were super wholesome, they weren’t much of a root of any problem

But having comments on your physical performance, being stuck in a tight ass leotard, thinking so much about your body at a young age, all of these lead to some type of problems.

Writer is 100% not projecting their ballet childhood

Poor little Dick watched the Strongman talk about his food intake and protein and calories and he thought “wow, I should do that to be strong too”

Cue guilt around food

Dick sees food, at least for the first part of his life, as an obstacle

The less he can get of it, the more strong he can be

He kind of sees it as something to be counted, measured (Dick is wrong, reader, eat your burger and enjoy it >:()

He doesn’t actually starve himself to a point that he starts to get skinny, but he restricts himself to have peak performance

It’s just that his mindset about it is so bad

One time Alfred cooks dinner and Dick is having a bad day (Robin or young Nightwing days). He steps in and just-

“… I had a burger for lunch” said Dick, looking frozen in place.

Bruce just chuckles, not noticing his discomfort. “Hey, that’s fine. You can jog it off tomorrow. Plus, you could do to put some weight on, yknow?”

“No, I… I can’t. I’m at my limit. I wasn’t gonna eat dinner,” Dick tries to explain, picking at his thumb nervously.

“… What do you mean your limit?”

“I uh… diet” Dick says, though his heart is quickening.

…

“Are you counting calories, Dick?”

Long conversation ensues

That might be super ooc, you get the idea

Bruce does not STAND for it

Dick recovers while Jason’s a kid.

He might have a relapse when Jason dies, just out of grief

But he gets over it

He can’t ever get rid of that voice that tells him that what he’s consuming is numbers

But he’s started fostering one that tells him how delicious that goddamn hotdog is, which is pretty cool

Jason Todd

Poor baby :((((

He grew up poor, so food insecurity was probably definitely present

Plus his mom wasn’t super into taking care of his needs

So he grew to subconsciously see food as fuel, but in a less healthy way.

He learned to measure how much he was able to run on, what gave him the most energy rather than what was good for him or tasty

All of this was for survival until he showed up at the manor

At first he was ecstatic about having more food security

And he was never one to turn down food

But out of habit he kind of never got food for himself on purpose unless he REALLY needed it

The type of kid to say “but I don’t need lunch, I had breakfast.”

Which is valid in some cases depending on whatever, but the subconscious thing that was nagging him was the small fear that still lived in him of someday not being able to live in that same security he’s grown to know

Bruce has to make sure he eats, because he’ll always eat what he’s offered without a second thought. He just won’t feed himself

Jason is 100% convinced he’s fine, he just doesn’t need it.

He does, in fact, need three meals a day with his highly active twelve year old boy self smh

When he comes back as Red Hood, he still kind of carries that with him, but he’s more willing to eat now.

I think dying kind of made him realize that he doesn’t want to miss out on anything or hold himself back

Plus he has a lot more muscle to feed now

If it makes sense, he just kind of doesn’t think of food much at all now

Much like Bruce

Tim Drake

Ugly sobbing :3

Writer projecting pt 2

Tim, Tim, Tim, neglected Tim :(

He views food very much as something earned

He enjoys his junk food or whatever, but he feels like if he’s not doing good enough he doesn’t deserve to eat at all

Nervous wreck he is, this happens often

Doesn’t do well on a mission? No dinner.

Not doing well in a class? Not eating till he fixes that grade.

Bruce finds out and almost passes out cause WHY ARE ALL THESE KIDS HAVING THESE ISSUES

It’s because writer is projecting, sorry Bruce

Bruce helps him through it a lot

Cheat code: if you go through a significant amount of effort to make him food he can’t turn it down

Or if you buy it for him

It’s an anxiety and bargaining thing for him, but he’s a tough boy he gets thru it 💪💪💪

Damian Wayne

Hot take but the league actually has pretty healthy standards on eating

They need to be efficient, yeah, but they recognize that to do that they need FOOD

He might be a little skittish around like processed food or new foods though

Has a thing for texture

Overall one of the healthier views on it though, and everyone else is watching him like a hawk to make sure it fucking stays that way

[caffeinatedtimdrake]

hey there, could you write #54 with dick? love your blog

thank you anon i love YOU!! hope you enjoy 💖

1.5k fluff of Dick Grayson/Nightwing x Reader in which a spa night turns into a superhero reveal. 

54.“You really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

Tonight was supposed to be a breath of serenity amidst a weeks of simultaneously tedious and tumultuous school work and job interviews.

But one of Gotham’s vigilantes just had to come crashing through your window in the middle of your solitary spa night. 

You hadn’t entirely intended to spend the evening alone. You asked Dick a few days ago if he wanted to grab dinner tonight because he always radiated abundant enthusiasm when you told him you had a moment of free time and because you thoroughly enjoyed the warm energy and sweet kisses of a man who might be your boyfriend at this point – but you two had yet to label this agglomeration of cute notes, lunch dates, and hand-holding. 

Dick notified you sulkily that he would be busy on this quiet spring night (“I’m distraught that I’m missing out on a night with my favorite person, emphasis on dis”), but pinky-promised to take you out for waffles next week. You tried to expire the disappointment from your lungs with a smile and deep exhale, but largely failed.

It always leaves you a little winded when you ponder the steadily growing piece of your heart reserved for Dick Grayson. ‘Head over heels’ barely captures the sweet, pleasantly dizzying daze of being enamored with Dick. You are beyond head over heels; you are tumbling headfirst, a downward spiral into strong embraces and musical laughter and syrupy adoration. It enthralls you more than it scares you: rather than drowning in a sea of vulnerability, you’re floating on a comfy raft, probably resting against a sun-kissed, muscular chest and drinking blissfully from a coconut. 

Coconuts and a handsome young man are presently absent from your home, but at least you could spend some quality time with your cat, who blinks at you drowsily from the couch as you pour a fizzy, sugary beverage into an unnecessarily fancy glass. 

“You know, Socks, I hate to be nosy, but he didn’t actually tell me why he was busy tonight. And it’s not like I’m…worried…or anything. I’m just curious.” 

Socks doesn’t have much of a response, save for a wide yawn. 

You tell him that you appreciate the feedback as you go into the bathroom and rummage for your favorite clay mask, laced with strawberries and honey. It looks a bit unruly, bright pink against your skin, but you needn’t impress anyone tonight.

Socks chatters softly after you switch on the TV and plop down next to him, glass in one hand and remote in the other as you search for your favorite rom com. He butts his head against your hip and curls up next to you, purring, and you scratch behind his ears. 

“Aw, buddy, you’ll always be the number one guy in my life. Even Dick knows this.”

Socks nuzzles closer and you can’t fight the warm smile across your mouth at the mention of Dick. 

You feel light and pleasant, a soft breeze billowing in through the open window and ruffling your hair and the thin curtains and dragging the scent of strawberries from the mask through the air. You think you even might be dozing off when Socks jumps straight up and digs his claws into your thigh. 

You barely remember to cry out in pain because, moments after, a lithe tangle of black Kevlar comes barreling though the open window.

(Socks, your knight in shining armor, dives beneath the couch.)

The heap of lanky limbs mumbles, “Ouch,” and you raise a pillow defensively, slowly inching towards him. You figure that if worse comes to worse, he’ll be scared away by the thick layer of pink across your face. 

He flips onto his back and props himself up, rubbing his forehead and grumbling. 

His gaze flickers up to you, sheepish smile lingering beneath the curve of a black mask across the bridge of his nose. “Hi.” 

You blink at the glowing blue bird across his chest and part your mouth but omit no coherent sound; you can’t decide whether you should scream or inquire about his well-being.

“I, um, h-hello?” 

He stands slowly, gracefully, shaking out his wrist and rubbing his elbow, toned muscle adorning a lanky frame. “I apologize for…barreling in through your window.”

“It’s…okay. I think?” 

His features knit into a frown. “But it’s late and a weekend and you live by yourself. Should you be leaving your window wide open at all?” 

You frown back. “I like the fresh air. Plus, you aren’t my mother. With all due respect, Mr. Nightwing, I will open my window if I damn please. And I have a cat, I don’t live alone!” You huff, dropping the pillow and crossing your arms over your chest. 

He raises his hands in surrender. “You got me.” He presses his finger to an ear piece and his voice drops, turning his whole body away from you. “I’m good. Tiny accident. No, Red, that’s silly. Socks belong on your feet. I’ll see you tomorrow. Nightwing out.”

You stare at him, bewildered, and your body buzzes with adrenaline. Would this be an appropriate time to call the police? Would it be inappropriate to call the cops on a guy who kind of qualifies as a superhero? Should you call Dick? 

He must see the litany of distraught questions playing across your face because he flashes you a reassuring smile. “This whole thing was supposed to be a lot more nonchalant. But this has turned into a disaster, all dis. I’m a little glad your window was open, I must admit. Crashing through glass is kind of painful.” 

“…what in the world?” You ask for many reasons; why he ended up in your apartment, why he speaks to you so casually, why he plays with words like Dick Grayson, why he sounds an awful lot like Dick Grayson…

The smile droops off his face. The curl of his mouth is achingly familiar, but you hesitate to think blatantly of who it resembles. 

“You look…confused.”

You nod, plopping onto the arm of the couch. “A little.”

He leans back against the counter across from you. “You also look a little bit like a strawberry. A cute one.” 

He jolts at your visceral reaction because you stand up straight, eyebrows arched. “I have a boyfriend. You cannot call me a cute strawberry!” You pause, gaze flitting to the ceiling. “Well, he’s not formally my boyfriend. But I think we’re getting there.” 

A grin quirks at his mouth and you blanch, choking down the torrent of butterflies against your ribcage. 

“Why are you smiling?!”

He sobers, wrinkling his nose and tilting his head a bit like a disconcerted puppy. “You really have no clue who I am?” 

“You’d think the confused look and blank stare would have answered that for you.” 

Nightwing laughs, a warm sound born in his throat and echoing off the walls of the apartment, and you’d know that sound in any storm.

Your stance softens slightly and so does your tone. “I mean, I can speculate.” 

He undoubtedly wiggles his eyebrows beneath the mask and his voice drops in a way that makes heat rise violently in your face, red beneath pink. “Want to come over here and take off my mask, Y/N?” 

The air is different now as he approaches you, cloying and thick. He halts an arm’s length away from you. Dick does this literally and figuratively; he always wants to meet you in the middle, lingering in between distance and intimacy, and you often ponder the idea of soulmates because it seems like in this amorous universe, you’re always gravitating toward him – and he’s pulled towards you with the same sweet energy. 

You move deliberately through the haze of trepidation, timid in the way that you place your fingers beneath sleek Kevlar and against smooth, heated skin because removing this mask is removing countless safeguards and the cover on a can of worms, to reveal vivid aquamarine and the man you are hopelessly falling in love with. 

“Hi, Y/N.” 

You smile so wide it cracks your mask and you might have half a mind to feel embarrassed but you’re too enthralled by the sight of Dick’s handsome face and soulful eyes. 

“Hi, Dick. Er, Nightwing.” You say, a little breathless.

“I really am sorry for crashing through your window. I didn’t know what other way to enter the building inconspicuously and also inform you of my other identity.” 

“You could have just…told me. Socks was less than thrilled about it.” You giggle a little. His eyes are bright with adoration and it makes your heart sing. “But I appreciate any excuse to see you with my own eyes.” 

“Oh, honey, the sentiment is absolutely reciprocated. How whelmed are you?” 

“Not overly at the moment.”

He kisses your mouth briefly, a breath of flower petals and honey. “Am I allowed to call you a cute strawberry now?”

You narrow your eyes for a moment. “Only if you put on the clay mask.” 

“Of course!” Dick chirps. “Then we can both be cute strawberries.”

[jccacchs]

Me ranting why I hate Nightwing books and it slowly turning into why I genuinely had fun reading Nightwing Rebirth

Reading more and more nightwing related comics is slowly making me realize that Dick is honestly better off without the batfam or he’s better off if he didn’t age and stayed as robin

Like this isn’t even on a plot perspective its on a writing one cuz tbh i only found like a handful of nightwing stories that I like (which are not even related to the batfam at all: First few arcs of N:Rebirth, Titans, NTT and outsiders)

For some reason bunch of nightwing books are bad or boring which is such a shame cuz is character has so much potential

I like Rebirth a lot (especially untouchable which is my favorite N book) since its a lot more focused on Dick’s outlook on things, with it being grim from either the beginning or middle with a hopeful optimistic outlook on the ending, a sort of light in the end of the tunnel theme

I feel like those theme vibes more with his character way more than whatever the fuck happened on the original nightwing run (its funny actually since i prefer so many things in pre-flashpoint but this is literally the only book i hated and dropped from reading)

I think it’s because they tried to make him so edgy ? And it sort of have a suffocating vibe to it and it’s genuinely not fun or entertaining to read (bro I’ve come to the point where i even prefer reading GRAYSON over whatever dafuq dixon and devin wrote)

NOT TO MENTION THE VILLAINS SUCKS ASS MAN HOWWWWWWW EVENNNN?????

Like the literal one I only liked is shrike but pretty much everything else is so garbage and daredevil wanna be its driving me almost mad

The large civilian cast is cool dont get me wrong but omfg the villains are literally so generic i wanna cry

Not to mention Blockbuster went from pretty much being bullied by whoever the fuck decided to visit Dick that day to sudden big boss which imo ruins the intimidation factor from him BY A LOT

Hes also a kingpin copy pasta but less of the substance on what made Kingpin terrifying and sympathetic

Bro ITS SO FUNNY TOO CUZ THEY MADE AN ENTERTAINING BLOCKBUSTER IN REBIRTH PLEASEEEEE

Like THATS the dude I wanna see, smart charismatic and cunning. He honestly doesn’t give a shit about Nightwing as long as he didn’t interfere with his shit. He’s not out there to ruin peoples lives but he’s there to be on top of the food chain. AND MAN DO I RESPECT THIS FUCKER

The bond he forms with Dick is interesting too, and they actually have a good chemistry. They became enemies that profit off each other. Dick gets info from him while Roland uses Nightwing to get rid of his competitors

LIKE THATS HOW YOU WRITE A GREAT VILLAIN AND PROTAG DYNAMIC!! Its honestly such a shame that dude has little screen time in rebirth

(This is the part where i rant about why i hate tom taylor for bringing back boring Blockbuster instead of keeping the Rebirth!blockbuster)

Also BLUDHAVEN

WHY IS THAT PLACE IN PREFLASHPOINT JUST GOTHAM 2.0 BROOO ITS SO GENERIC

UNTOUCHABLE IS SO GREAT CUZ THE HISTORY SURROUNDING BLUD AND IT MADE ME CARE ABOUT A TREE

A TREE

Supporting cast tho I think Preflashpoint has a better one compared to Rebirth

The occasional titan visits are adorable, Amy is such a chad i love her, the people at the appartment, the people at the cop bar, etc.

imo it gave a more neighborhood like vibe which is nice especially for a starting vigilante story cuz it shows who is Nightwing fighting for which rebirth is certainly lacking since it favors a more standalone story format.

Batfam inclusions on the first few Rebirth issues are soooo damn good tho. They didn’t really steal the moment nor overstayed their welcome. They felt like small cameos but they still managed to give a wholesome note (if im not including the babs one cuz thats one is written just so they can break up)

Also im a shrimp for morrison’s batman&robin soooo i have an unearthly biased towards Damian, man that kid’s adorable.

The dragon issue with them is such a bop too btw holy hell

Eh but after that tho N:R kinda slowly started to get bad around and before the metal event happened….The court armory is kinda cool tho

I probably have a bad grasp on Dick’s character…idk but its genuinely such a shame that I prefer reading him on titan stuff rather than his standalone comics

In conclusion, fuck you tom taylor for bringing back blockbuster and including so many batfam members in a Nightwing comic (except the jason annual that was kinda cute ngl)

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Dick Grayson x GN!Reader in: They Never Stood a Chance

12 Days of Batmas || Day 6—Baking Cookies

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

↞ previous: the franken-bat rises || ugly sweaters

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 6 | jay day 6 | tim day 6 ||

“Richard my love, why are you this way?”

He shrugs at that, laughing a bit. “Poor impulse control, probably. A better question is why do you love me for it?”

Look. It was his cheat day, okay?

↠ Requested By: Not a soul lol ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW fluff ((but my blog’s 18+ if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs: There’s some implied intimacy in the ficlet. Nothing too racy, but you definitely can tell where things are heading lol… ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: 1.6k~

Headcanon || WC: ~1k

🌟 Ya know, I low-key/high-key feel like I write Dick as a walking amalgamation of every cutesy Hallmark MC that has ever existed, but like…

I think it’s valid?

He’s just so damn wholesome imo, and yes I know that he’s certainly not without his faults, but… My guys—he’s always trying to better both himself as well as the world at large and I absolutely adore him for it.

Seriously, how can you not love this literal ray of sunshine, like at least a little?? He’s so damn cute and sweet and thoughtful and funny and beautiful both inside and out—he’s the whole damn package!

But this is all super tangential to this HC so let’s move on.

🌟 Anyways!

🌟 I know some people see Dick as the kind of dude that’d be hopeless in the kitchen, but this is a whole ass man y’all, one with very specific dietary demands. He’s not always the most practical guy, but he does know the importance of keeping himself fed.

And if you just gotta eat, why not make it tasty?

He’s not out here getting his Gordon Ramsay on, but he can put together some p. nice meals. Yeah, they’re usually on the basic side, but they’re always yummy and well-balanced.

He’d be lying if he said that dessert wasn’t his favorite part of any meal, and as such he almost always has it in some form or another, even if it’s just a bit of fruit.

🌟 He lives for his cheat days, so it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that he’s a better baker than he is a cook.

Again, he’s not making 5-star dishes, but what he does make he makes well, and with cookies being relatively easy anyway they’re definitely at the top of his list.

He doesn’t even think twice about whipping up a batch or two—or three or four…

Look. He likes having options, okay? And cookies freeze really well soooo…

🌟 Baking cookies—especially Christmas/the winter holiday of your choosing cookies—with him really is like something out of a movie.

But like minus the mess. Sure tossing random ingredients around looks all cute/silly/fun on screen, but trying to get flour out of your hair and-or the grout work of your floor is a bitch, never mind hazardous given how slick it is underfoot.

Plus he doesn’t like being needlessly wasteful, especially around the holidays when there’re so many families going without. He gives both his time and his money when and where he can, but he’s still a good steward even when he’s behind closed doors.

That said he isn’t above swiping your lips with a bit of icing just so he can have an excuse to smooch it off of you. God, this man, I cannot…

((just in case you somehow forgot that it’s always soft simpin’ for Richard John Grayson hours in this house lmao))

🌟 It’s gonna take you forever and a day just to get through one batch because he’s gonna be all over you, as usual.

Lots of back hugs and kisses and cuddles and general flirty glombing that one would expect from him.

Hey, it’s not his fault you’re so damn cute! You’re in your comfiest clothes and rumpled in that way that says you’re content and not planning on going anywhere, and he loves that you let him see you like this—all unguarded and snuggly looking—and it’s making his heart do that thing where it beats extra hard and fuck but he loves you and how could he ever hope to keep that to himself?

More importantly why would he want to? You—the object of his affection/desire/every good dream he’s ever had—is right here in front of him, and by his estimation you most certainly deserve to know exactly what it is you do to him…

For the most part he’s pretty direct about expressing his affections, but he’ll try to be sly on occasion. Like, he’ll swear that he’s just trying to help you stir something and then basically recreate that pottery scene from Ghost lmfao.

You know the scene I’m talking about but if you somehow don’t, here. But be warned, this particular clip doesn’t have any background music and is awkward as all hell because of it, but dammit if I had to hear it I’m gonna make it your problem too lol…

🌟 His favorite cookies to decorate are plain sugar cookies, more specifically the snowflake shaped ones.

He finds them to be elegant and classic. There’s just something so delicate and charming about the royal icing pipework and the large grained sugar sprinkle. They are very much what he thinks of first when he thinks of Christmas/winter-themed cookies.

Aside from that he really likes novelty shapes, esp. those related to the Bats. Catch him out here making custom batches for each of his siblings with their own cutters lol. They always pretend to be annoyed, but cannot hide their smiles when they’re eating miniature versions of themselves…

…or the vicious grins that pull at their lips when they make direct eye contact with each other as they bite the head/various limbs off of one sibling on another lmao. It, uhh, it makes for interesting dining if nothing else—a mildly macabre show to go with your meal lol.

🌟 As far as eating goes… Look, I personally canon this man as having the palate of a toddler lol. If it’s sweet then he’s down. But if we’re talking holiday themed cookies…

He’d probably pick chocolate peppermint cookies—bonus points if you actually top them with crushed peppermints! Anything to get that little bit of extra sugar in lol, plus he likes the added crunch.

🌟 Overall, baking with Dick is just a really adorable experience. I swear the two of you are like a living breathing ‘Couple’s Goals’ post, and honestly? I’m here for it.

They Never Stood a Chance || WC: 600~

“I know it’s your cheat day and all, but is it really worth giving yourself another stomachache?”

Your teasing chide sees Dick’s shoulders bunching up while his head sinks down to meet them. As he chances a sheepish glance back at you, you’re left to wonder how he manages to make his frame look so small and damn near childlike. Given the impressive build of him it should be all but impossible, but when he’s giving you those ‘please stop perceiving me and my mistakes’ eyes with a half-eaten cookie hanging from his lips it kinda makes sense.

Bracing yourself against his waist, you look past him at the platter that had been overflowing with cookies just a couple of hours ago. Dick had offered to take care of the mess in the kitchen while you tidied up elsewhere, and though you had known that he was just waiting to get alone with your newly decorated treats you really hadn’t wanted to bust any suds. And so against your better judgement you had left him to it hoping that the memory of last week’s candy cane fiasco would keep him from doing anything too questionable.

Looking at the few scant cookies that are left now, however, you realize how foolishly optimistic you’d been.

“Richard my love, why are you this way?”

He shrugs at that, laughing a bit. “Poor impulse control, probably. A better question is why do you love me for it?”

Well, he’s certainly got you there.

Some of his habits may not be the healthiest—though he has been steadily winnowing out the worst, most self-destructive of them—and his ‘act now, think about it later, maybe’ attitude has gotten him into just as much trouble as it’s gotten him out of, but… Well that’s just all a part of what makes Richard John Grayson, Richard John Grayson, and you really do love him for it.

Honestly you’d much rather have him like this, occasionally questionable dietary choices and all, than to just have parts of him. There are so many out there that think they know him well, but in truth their acquaintanceship is as hollow as the smiles he graces them with.

Gotham is in love with a façade and rightly so. His public facing persona is nothing less than perfection, a unbearably charming mask that has been carefully cultivated and studiously maintained over the years, but when the clock strikes twelve and pretenses are cast aside there are only a select few that get to see the man that lies behind it all. You have no idea what you’ve done to be counted among their number, but you thank every good thing this universe has ever produced that you are.

This is why you know better than to pile on him because at the end of the day no one is harder on Dick than he is on himself, and in this particular instance he’ll definitely be feeling the results of his actions in short order, you’re sure. Instead you grab a bottle Perrier from the fridge before pulling him into the living room with you.

The position you take up is a familiar one, with you sitting and Dick’s head resting in your lap while the rest of him is splayed out along the length of the sofa. The water is placed on the table’s edge for ease of reach, though for now both of your hands occupy themselves with one another. You trace the fine bones of his fingers from where they rest atop his stomach, circling their joints as you go. Meanwhile Dick’s free hand finds your own, and after placing a kiss on your palm, rests it against his eyes in an attempt to block out the light. It isn’t the most comfortable position, it definitely won’t be sustainable for any considerable length of time, but for now you’re content to enjoy the silence with your love.

Up Next:

🌟 Day 7: A Compromise with Indigo Eyes || Decorating Your Home

“Richard John, we are not leaving our Christmas decorations up year ‘round.”

“But it’d save us so much time! Plus think of the potential for halloween—instant Nightmare Before Christmas vibes.”

“…you’re making points, but also no.”

But think of the possibilities tho!

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2020 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

[kindaangelic]

A Dash Of Love

Bruce Wayne was not a man typically possessed of a nervous disposition, but as he sat on the ass-nummbingly hard benches of the Gotham City courthouse, he could not help but trouble his lower lip with his teeth.

“Courage, Master Bruce,” Alfred's gentle voice whispered next to him. Bruce startled and made a conscious effort to stop bouncing his leg. “Remember, stiff upper lip.”

“I'm not British,” Bruce pointed out.

Alfred raised a judgemental eyebrow. “I have raised you as a single butler for the past twelve years,” ha said, “and I shall not stand for the insinuation that I have raised a non-Brit.”

Bruce smirked at Alfred's indignation and after taking a deep breath, focused on the cases being called up. Just a few more...

“Wayne?” The bailiff called. Upon seeing Bruce, he gave a small whimper of exhilaration. Bruce flashed a smile and approached.

The judge looked up from her papers. “Mr. Wayne,” she said, and Bruce tried to look like he was not about to cry. “We are here to process your custody of one Damian Al Ghul.”

From next to Alfred,the Damian stood respectfully. “What ho, Madame Judge.” From beside him, Dick glowed like a proud, maternal firefly.

The judge looked at Damian and smiled. “Good morning, young man,” she said gently, before fixing Bruce with a glare. “Mr. Wayne. These documents show that for some reason, custody of Damian Al Ghul has been transferred to your eldest son, Richard Grayson-Wayne. Upon maintaining custody for six months, Mr. Grayson-Wayne successfully filed a motion for adoption which was granted.”

Bruce peered at Dick, who squeaked. The judge looked at Dick, who had shifted Damian into his lap. “Mr. Grayson-Wayne, may I know why you adopted your own brother?”

Dick stood up, and began to speak. “Your honor, we're only found out about Damian's existence an year ago. His mother hid him from us. Bruce was so happy to have Dami, but then, about six months ago, he-” Dick's eyes brimmed with tears and he choked.

“Bruce got into an accident,” a new voice declared. Bruce shifted his beady gaze to Jason, whose massive muscles were threatening to burst out of his suit.

“Who are-”

“Jason Todd,” he said with a grin. “Brother, son, and wholesome citizen. As I was saying, Bruce was in an accident, and were thought that we'd lost him. So Dick stepped up for the kid.”

Bruce longed to run to Dick and hug his poor emotional son, but the odious Wally West was already doing so.

No matter. He could deal with West later.

The judge looked back at the paperwork. “According to the filing, the clerk filed the motion as Mr. Grayson-Wayne being young Damian's mother.”

Dick smiled nervously and Bruce groaned. “Your honor, please,” he begged, “I can't- my son is my other son's legal mother! Please, I beg you, end this madness!”

The judge was not impressed. She turned then to the small, unassuming figure of Tim, sitting in Jason's massive shadow. “Mr. Drake, could you share your opinion on this situation?”

Tim stood and looked at Damian, who, for the first time, looked nervous. “If it please the court,” Tim murmured, “I will share the whole story.”

Taking a deep breath, Tim spoke. “When Damian first arrived, he was, for lack of a better word, an entitled brat. The type you would write about on reddit. After Bruce was- er, taken out of commission, the family fractured. We all did things we were not proud of. Everyone except me, that is.

“Possibly the only good thing to happen in that time was Dick took Damian under his wing. His mothering managed to help Damian see that he was loved, and that he had a place with us, and that he didn't need to fight for it, or prove his place.”

Tim looked at Damian, who was staring at him, slackjawed. “We've come together as a family, even Jason,” Tim continued. “And Jason once attacked me.”

“Mr. Todd-Wayne!” The judge cried, who had grown quite fond of Tim.

Jason flinched. “I did apologize,” he said, mentally promising Tim a firm punch to the tushy in there near future.

The judge harrumphed and looked at Dick, who was nervously holding Damian. “Damian, do you love your father?”

“Oh yes,” Damian said, and Bruce beamed. “Father is very robust and warm, and he shows his love in strange ways, but there is no doubt that he loves us all deeply. I am under no illusions as to whom my parents are. Grayson may not be my mother, but he is Grayson, and therefore matters just as much.”

The judge seemed to ruminate on Damian'sqords before coming to a conclusion. “Mr. Wayne," she said, “given the circumstances of this case, and the fact that Damian's birth mother was deemed unfit for custody, I believe that legally, it is safer if Mr. Grayson-Wayne remains Damian's legal mother. With regards to the odd situation, I am afraid that you will simply have to cope.”

Bruce groaned as Jason burst into raucous cheers. Bruce trudged back to his family and looked somberly at Damian. “I'm sorry that we could not resolve this ridiculous situation, son.” He looked at Dick. “You're a wonderful man, Dick. I can't think of anyone who is capable of so much love.”

In his corner, Tim sighed, thinking of how wrong Bruce was for neglecting the depth of Tim's love for Kon. If only Bruce would stop trying to pretend that Kon didn't exist and closing the windows every time he tried to fly in.

Damian's incredibly tiny face was stretched into an impossible grin, making him resemble the amphibian that was surely somewhere in his family tree. “I am alright with this result, Father. Truly, I am a lucky young man-”

“Frog-”

“TODD!”

Bruce ushered his family to the car, where he resigned himself to a long drive home. As he watched Dick try and smother all of his siblings with love, Bruce smiled to himself. After all, what did a little more love hurt anyone?

[bigskydreaming]

For the record: I fucking adore pre-Crisis Dick and Bruce and always have. And would have ZERO problems whatsoever with people focusing on the version of events surrounding Dick’s leaving home in that last reblog…if not for how often this is paired with the reactions and attitudes Dick was written as having in direct response to the OTHER version of events in which he was fired. Its literally just the mixing and matching that’s the problem for me. 

(And additionally for the record, this has absolutely nothing to do with that reblog or its OP or anything other than the fact that I’ve been trying to write this particular post for like two months and could never muster the spoons before now. But seriously, not really about that post at all, it just finally got the gears working in the direction I wanted them to go).

Anyway. Like I said, its the mixing and matching of cause and effects that are inherently just not MEANT to match up and go together, because the effect was not referring back to a specific cause, but rather a different one altogether....that’s the issue. That’s always been the issue.

Because when you leave out the key fact that Dick’s hostility in later stories is written with the explicit intention of referring back to stories in which Bruce instigated their estrangement, you make it look like Dick is just a spoiled brat who throws temper tantrums when things aren’t about him, when that is literally not the scenario he was being characterized that way in response to. 

My problem has never been with Dick and Bruce having a good relationship or Bruce being a good father who loves his eldest and expresses that in a myriad of ways. Its with the narratives that twist a specific sequence of cause and effect to shift the focus away from any possible reason Dick could have for being upset with Bruce….to spotlight SOLELY Dick’s upset, with all actual relevant context deliberately stripped away and replaced with the context of “Bruce is a good father who loves his eldest and never fails to express that in a myriad of ways.” 

And with the way this pattern has then been mirrored over the decades since it was initially applied by fandom to avoid dealing with the earliest stories where Bruce was written as abusive….and with the ripple effect consequentially being that it has become a fandom staple for the focus to be put entirely on what Dick’s doing at all times and never on WHY, so that he constantly keeps getting upheld as the problem even in situations where he was clearly the victim. Like with Spyral, like with Ric Grayson, like Mirage and tons of other times throughout this character’s history because once you establish a precedent and uphold it to the degree that we’ve so often seen with “Dick is really the mastermind of his own misery, because none of the things that he’s miserable about really happened to him, look see, Bruce is a fabulous father and always was”.....like, you get a lot of repetition at that point.

Because that, right there, ESPECIALLY when paired with the reality that the stories that this tendency is most commonly used to distract from, like Dick’s firing and NTT #55 and NW #30 and other issues where there were clear and obvious instances of abuse in how Bruce was written......intentionally or not, that replaces these narratives of abuse, but NOT with stories where everything’s all fine and dandy.....but rather, with a narrative of abuse apologism, even if it is largely unintentional.

Because when an abuse victim’s behavior in specific moments is called into question AT THE SAME TIME as the root cause of that specific behavior in those specific moments is shuffled offstage and KEPT out of focus, so that the abuse victim’s specific behavior is upheld as the ONLY issue at hand, leaving the abuser who they’re reacting to free to just keep on walking while no one pays them any attention now.....this is a fundamental cornerstone of abuse apologism in real life as much as in fiction. And it has nothing to do whatsoever if its INTENDED that way, its simply the reality of what results.

And its that last part that usually gets me and a lot of other fans so worked up because just like a lot of people turn to Bruce as their emotional support character because they relate to either his trauma or his coping mechanisms or a million other things about him.....there’s a shit ton of us who turn to Dick Grayson as our emotional support character because we relate to HIS trauma....which, like it or not, for many of us INCLUDES his at-times extremely shitty relationship with his parent.

The way people condescend about this in particular, acting like the ONLY POSSIBLE REASON anyone ever has for writing Bruce as abusive or writing fixes or codas or transformative response-takes on actual literal canon stories where he was written as abusive.....like, treating the situation as though people ONLY do this for the sake of angst porn or to smear Bruce’s character, like, they’re just in it for the drama and there’s absolutely no other possible reason to engage with those particular stories.....its aggravating as hell. 

Especially when this is paired with stuff like “oh, sorry I’m not addicted to making Bruce an abusive shithead, I have taste and am above click-bait angst lolol” like.....people really think they’re saying something there, but its probably not what they think they’re saying when you hold it up against the fact that most people saying this have ZERO problem with excessive angst and misery in literally any other context EXCEPT for ones where Bruce is to blame.

I like to refer back to the fact that people disparage any focus on Dick being fired as being ‘just a retcon’....because of how that coincides with the fact that Jason’s pre-Crisis stories were largely (though not completely) retconned as well. Because its not just the fact that Jason’s origin as an acrobat was retconned to him being a street kid that’s significant here....but rather, the fact that HOW he became Robin was retconned as well. Since originally, pre-Crisis, just like it was Dick who chose to move on from Robin himself, it was Dick who chose to make Robin the name Jason used as Batman’s partner as well. 

So I’d be fine with people being like “oh I don’t engage with the retcon of Dick being fired because it was just a retcon” except for the fact that they DO engage with a huge part of that retcon still. They engage with the part where Dick is bitter and resentful of not being Robin anymore, just not the REASONS for it, because they’ve supplanted all the history for the version of events where Dick is resentful with the history from when Bruce was nothing but supportive. And then ADDITIONALLY, they still engage with the part where it was Bruce who made Jason Robin, not Dick, as this is then linked in fanon to WHY Dick is allegedly so resentful of Jason as Robin.....even though that too is a retcon, and if they just went with the original story where Dick gave Jason his name and costume before Jason ever debuted as Robin for the very first time.....voila, no resentment or bitterness from Dick towards Jason would ever exist.

See what I’m saying? Its frustrating hearing over and over that people don’t like the firing retcon just because it was a retcon and they like the original....AT THE EXACT SAME TIME as they continue to interact with and engage with literally every part of the retcon EXCEPT for where Bruce did stuff that Dick understandably could be upset about.

And that people claim this is to avoid the more negative aspects of things between Bruce and Dick and make for a more positive family dynamic....except then they still KEEP Dick being estranged and not coming home and sniping at Bruce as WELL as keep Dick being resentful and bitter about Jason so its like.....Error 404, More Positive Family Dynamic Not Found, its almost like you’re totally fine with Dick being the fly in the family togetherness soup, just so long as Bruce comes across fine.

And this is the pattern we see over and over, and that’s why the frustration Dick Grayson’s fans have with a lot of the rest of fandom are not directly interchangeable with the frustrations fans of any character have when its their favorite character in the hotseat. Because its not the simple fact of other fans not liking his character or stories about his character, its the HOW and WHY of the reasoning, and how often that’s telling people who relate to parts of Dick’s narrative that include the uglier bits with Bruce, that like....the stories we’re upset about don’t matter, or aren’t relevant, or didn’t happen, lmfao.

Because here’s the thing: nobody has to engage with parts of canon they don’t like. We all come to these stories and characters for different reasons and if Bruce written abusively is totally counter to everything you love about the character, OF COURSE you don’t want to engage with those takes! Of course you find that out of character and view it as shitty writing that should never have happened. And that’s FINE!

But its not about whether or not you just choose not to engage with these stories or ones based on them.....its about how often people then TALK OVER the people who DO choose to engage with these stories or ones based on them.....and belittle their validity in existing at all, try and paper over the stuff that people are directly trying to address by way of fic by arguing points that aren’t in contention.....because we’re not disputing that there’s a version of events where Dick left home happily, we’re literally just saying THAT’S NOT THE STORY WE’RE TALKING ABOUT.

Like, if I go on a post where people are just having a good time with good wholesome father and son interactions between Bruce and Dick and say something like “wow wish this was real and that Bruce wasn’t actually an abusive shithead”....I’M THE ASSHOLE THERE. Lol, make no mistake. But the flip side of that is when people go on posts where people are talking about times and places and ways the dynamic between Bruce and Dick is shittier, and say stuff like “wow good thing this isn’t real and everyone with taste knows that this is just angst bait and Bruce is actually the Best Father”.....uh....what exactly is the difference here?

(Especially, and I CAN NOT stress the hilarious irony of this enough....when they then just go back to making another Whumptober entry. LOL that’s fine! The part that’s hilarious though is condescending to people who write abusive Bruce Wayne takes as just being in it for the misery business when like......umm. Like I have a point here, but I’ll let people reach it on their own. The dots though. They’re extremely connectable).

Also also, I would just like to point out that Batfandom in particular has always leaned heavily on the “sometimes people write things to cope” in regards to rape and incest fic, etc........so as long as certain corners of fandom are willing to lean heavily into that argument to defend any and all kinds of sexual content in fic, they might consider extending that very same logic to “sometimes people write things to cope” in regards to abuse survivors writing about abusive dynamics within the Batfam to work through their own shit with abuse.

But I’m just extremely tired with the “but its a retcon/its bad writing” arguments rearing their heads anywhere people are like “here is a canon story I would like to engage with because hey I thought fanfic was supposed to be about us being able to fix shitty canon or address shitty canon or just lampshade that shitty canon is shitty”.....particularly when that awareness of things being a retcon seem to be devoid of any awareness of how retcons WORK.

Because the thing is, we all know and get how retcons work. We understand that retcons act as an insertion point for a second version of events that later stories can refer back to or act upon INSTEAD of the original version of events.

This is why literally nobody in fandom writes stories about Jason as the Red Hood and tries to like....use them to make points about Jason’s childhood as a circus acrobat. Because everyone gets that the issue there isn’t whether or not Jason’s early childhood was retconned, and there only being ONE TRUE VERSION of that you can go with......no, people get that it doesn’t matter IF they for whatever reason prefer Jason’s original story.....literally no canon story about the Red Hood has been written with the intention of referring back to THAT origin instead of the street kid Jason origin. No story about the Red Hood is attempting to SAY anything about or DO anything with Jason the child acrobat instead of Jason the street kid.

So why does that awareness vanish the second that stories about how Dick RESPONDS to the retcon of being fired come under scrutiny....with people acting like they just don’t get how retcons work all of a sudden, and its fine to argue the point about how that second inserted sequence of events isn’t relevant and everyone knows this so clearly there’s no problem treating Dick’s reactions to those events as though they’re just reactions to Bruce and Dick fighting over college?

Every character has at least two versions of themselves, tbh. A canon version and a fanon version. And obviously with a shared universe as old and having passed through as many hands as DC has....you could argue that there are many canon versions of Dick’s character. 

I would argue however that there are two distinct fanon versions of Dick’s character as well. And to be clear, each of these fanon versions encompass a spectrum unto themselves, there’s a wide range of varying DEGREES of these two fanon takes.....but there’s two specific fanon Dick Grayson STARTING points.

One of these of course is the happy-go-lucky, air-headed, never worried about anything in his life, cereal-munching, fashion disaster, sails through everything without a care in the world other than his care for everyone but himself Dick Grayson. 

I mean, I don’t particularly care for that one, but it is what it is, and like I said, every character has that fanon take that has a lot of their fans going Lol wut a mess, like plz just no.

The fanon starting point I’m usually more concerned about is this one: the Dick Grayson who grew up in the lap of luxury but never really appreciated it or what he had, who is territorial and possessive, prone to fits of anger with very little provocation prompting people to walk on eggshells around him, who cares about other people but is often oblivious of his effect on them because he’s just so reckless, so impulsive, that frequently he jumps into situations without thinking about how other people will be impacted by what he says or does, and then is too proud to take it back.

The reason I’m bothered so much by THIS fanon Dick Grayson is because I flat out don’t believe we get to him by looking at canon....but rather by extremely selectively AVOIDING looking at canon, but only specific PARTS of canon.

And thus we get a Dick Grayson who never really appreciated his childhood or what he had.....as evidenced by the Dick Grayson who at times takes shots at Bruce for how he raised Dick......but without ANY examination of or awareness that the way those shots are written in canon, are with the intention of referring back to specific stories in which Bruce DID fuck up in certain ways while raising Dick....rather than a Bruce who was nothing but supportive and nurturing and did no wrong ever.

And thus we get a Dick Grayson who is territorial and possessive....as evidenced by the way he’s been less than graceful about ‘sharing’ Robin with certain of his siblings, or even Bruce himself......but without ANY examination of or awareness that the reason he’s written as ungracious about these things in these specific moments is because they were written with the intention of referring back to specific stories where something he built from the ground up - Robin - was stripped from him and given away without consulting him, or when he had to watch others enjoy a specific aspect of their relationship with Bruce that he was never (or at least not yet) ever offered himself......rather than just because Dick’s spoiled and selfish and never learned to share because he has only child syndrome.

And thus we get a Dick Grayson who is prone to fits of anger with very little provocation prompting people to walk on eggshells around him.....as evidenced by the way he blows up at certain people at certain times....but without ANY examination of what they said or did to him just BEFORE he blew up at them, or awareness that the reason he said awful things or displayed such anger is because he was specifically being written as reacting to things that very understandably PROMPT such anger, or he was written standing up for himself in the face of people saying or doing shitty things as well, or even outright attacking him......rather than just because Dick has a hair-trigger temper and anger management issues, and nobody’s ever said or done anything that justifies him getting angry at them ever.

And thus we get a Dick Grayson who is oblivious to his effect on other people because he’s just so reckless and impulsive that he jumps into situations without thinking about how they’ll be impacted....as evidenced by the way he does things like fake his death without thinking through what this will do to others......but without ANY examination of the fact that the stories in which he’s originally written MAKING the decisions to do these things, he DOES think through how others will be impacted, like how in NW #30 he did nothing BUT argue how it would affect his siblings and Barbara, or awareness of the fact that the reasons these arguments don’t change the outcome of events is because they’re deliberately written as not being ALLOWED to change the outcome, as Dick’s objections and concerns for other people are actively overriden and over-ruled.....rather than because he doesn’t make these objections in the first place or think through how other people will be impacted by things.

And thus we get a Dick Grayson who is just too proud to take things back when he fucks up.....as evidenced by the way that he either doesn’t apologize for certain things, or his apology seems hollow or insincere, or his apology doesn’t preclude him from doing something similar again later down the line....but without ANY examination of the fact that the reasons for all of these more often have to do with the fact that the crimes aren’t his to apologize for in the first place, its often him that’s owed the actual apology, and he simply won’t be ALLOWED to not get into the same situation in the future because the entire reason this pattern persists so frequently is because there’s zero sincere examination of what the pattern actually consists OF and just WHY it is that Dick in specific is so frequently stuck in this particular pattern....rather than just because Dick’s simply too proud to ever acknowledge when he fucks up.

Does that specific fanon interpretation of Dick Grayson sound at ALL familiar to anyone else?

And can you understand how the frustration with it could stem from not simply the fact that it exists, or that its not canon based....but rather the fact that it in order to exist at all, it REQUIRES building upon a foundational cornerstone of abuse apologism and outright ignoring and disregarding stories where he is the one victimized in order to prioritize that no blowback for the canon instances of abuse impact or reflect badly upon the actual victimizing characters in fandom conversations about these things?

Because speaking solely for myself now....this is and ALWAYS HAS BEEN, the ONLY issue I have in this matter. I have zero problems with good dad Bruce Wayne content, with prioritizing takes where Dick wasn’t actually fired, with simply not wanting to engage with canon or fan content where Bruce is abusive....none of these things have EVER been my problem or ever will be....as long as they like....don’t go hand in hand with making an abuse victim his own victimizer and everyone else his hapless victim whenever the specific instances of when he’s been a victim of other characters in canon comes up either in fic, headcanons, meta or just casual conversation.

[gtgrandom]

Where Young Justice: Outsiders went wrong

(And before you tell me to just stop watching if I don’t like it - I’ve been supporting the show since 2011 by creating a significant amount of content and giving back monetarily. I have every right to critique the writing, thank you).

Honestly, I think they pulled their act together in the finale, and this season left me much more satisfied than I anticipated. That being said, there are some issues I want to address.

Major flaws:

Overabundance of characters

Undeveloped Relationships

Lack of Continuity

Problematic Representation (getting better)

Weak Dialogue 

Lower Quality Animation

The Message

Overabundance of characters

I think we can all agree on this one. There were far too many characters in season 2, but season 3 is laughable. It’s hardly a story anymore. Instead it’s an episodic series featuring new heroes each episode to appease niche comic fans.

There’s a formula for a superhero show (and any group-oriented tale in general), and that’s having a central team of five or less. Then you can introduce one or two new characters max per episode as side characters or villains. But you always circle back to your main team. YJ did a nice job of this in season one. So did most CW superhero shows before they made the same mistake of expanding their cast to make their writing task easier. (Yes, easier - new characters means you can stop developing old ones, especially with time jumps).  YJ started to narrow down the team by the end of the season, but it still left many mains as side characters / aesthetics. 

It’s great seeing these characters brought to life - I won’t deny it. But you can’t delve deep if you have this many. You can’t focus on character development or meaningful relationship development (hence why nearly every ship was established off screen). Furthermore, you frustrate fans when you focus on one group more than another. With a smaller cast you can always count on appealing to your audience because their "fave” is always present in some way. In many ways, fans feel like they’re being dragged along simply waiting for their character to pop up because of a one time cameo. It’s not fair to the audience.

The relationships

I think the only romantic relationships we’ve seen develop on screen are:

Violet/Brion

Spitfire

SuperMartian

Robin/Zatanna

sort of Roy/Jade

- and all but one were introduced in season 1. 

The others were simply introduced as a couple with little to no previous interaction. Like:

Tim/Cassie

Dick/Babs

Jaime/Traci

Bart/Ed

Kaldur/Wyynde

Gardita

M’gann/La’gaan

Mal/Karen

That is not how you write romance. You don’t stick it in there for the sake of it. You have to show us why they work, how they got there, and why we should care.  I’m not saying there HAS to be romance, but if there is, it still has to be written well. 

Continuity

This begins to overlap into the next issue, which is continuity.  I understand that Outsiders is not necessarily a new chapter to Young Justice, but if you are going to call it Young Justice Season 3, then I expect story lines to bleed over beyond just villainous deeds.  

Let’s look at Dick Grayson, for instance.  He’s one of the only mains who has had a very consistent, though shallow, character arc throughout the series.  First he wants to lead, then fears it because of the sacrifices he would have to make - because he didn’t want to be Batman.  In season 2 though, he becomes his worst nightmare.  He risks the lives of his friends, lies to his team, and ends up losing his best friend anyway.  And in season 3, we actually get a little bit of continuity here with Dick mourning Wally and being afraid to take on another team after season 2.  It could have been expanded upon, but it was still present, and I applaud the writers for that.  Especially for driving home his leadership qualities at the end there.

Now, what about the other characters, specifically those introduced in season 2?  This season is called “Outsiders,” and yet, it seems to only focus on the original team and Violet’s new group.   

What about Bart’s entire arc of coming back, stopping the apocalypse, and then losing Wally, his mentor?  What about Jaime’s home life and the lasting effects of being turned into a villain who nearly killed all his friends?  What about TIM and his role as the new leader??  Where did that plotline go?? Why is the unfamiliar Beast Boy now the leader of this Outsiders group?  How did Ed overcome his anger issues and repair his relationship with his dad?  How did Jade go from being a supportive wife and mother into the opposite?   

The writers tried to avoid all these problems by giving us a time jump.  But that’s just lazy writing if you don’t take the time to answer how things have changed!    

Also, I’ve said this before, but continuity isn’t simply having characters mourn a dead character.  You can’t keep using that plot device to give heart to the narrative.  If that’s your only source of true pathos...and that character is dead...then you’ve got a problem. 

The representation

Okay, I’ll admit they saved their asses with Kaldur. I love my wholesome pansexual rep. Would I have preferred to see his relationship occur with a character we’d already been introduced to outside the comics? Yes. But I’ll take it.

Disappointed with Ed/Bart and Bluepulse. They could have shown us more, but they didn’t. They could have given us a story, but they didn’t.  And don’t hit me with “this is a children’s show - we’re lucky to get what we get” BS.  Because it’s not anymore.  This show is literally written by adults for adults.

I really don’t want to talk about the whole Halo/Harper kiss because it was just so wrong in so many ways, but it needs to be addressed. So, first of all, if you excuse cheating in any capacity, shame on you. I don’t care what the characters are going through or how old they are. You don’t both recognize that you have significant others and then proceed to make out!! Second, what the hell?? You’re going to have the first lgbt content be a bisexual stereotype of two girls cheating on their boyfriends (and two characters who have only interacted in one episode before??) Not to mention, underage drinking and gun use? That sends the wrong message to the audience, even if the teens were reprimanded.  

Also, Halo is supposedly non-binary, and yet they explained it away by technology, so idk, I’m hesitant to count it as legitimate rep. I still think it was a good discussion to have. But yeah...

Finally, Halo is not Muslim rep after all.  She’s a hijab wearing character, but she does not identify with her faith or her culture. She outright rejects it in her scene with Harper. So...what? Is she diversity points that you can continue to violently kill off over and over?  Not a fantastic way to treat POC. I don’t think the creators meant any harm by it, but it’s something they need to consider going forward.

(I do appreciate the number of POC characters that have been introduced however. Especially the Latinx and black characters. This show has improved its diversity. But without proper characterization, they’re sort of just...there).

Dialogue

I can’t be the only one who cringed through entire episodes this season?  Some episodes had stellar writing. But the bad ones were very, very bad.   Obviously, not every joke is going to stick the landing, but if you’re going to kill off your beloved comic relief character, you have to have a better backup plan.   

Like, do you guys remember how witty some of the lines from the pilot were?  The whole “Speedy” vs. “Kid Flash” debate in the opening sequence?  You can tell how much effort went into those scenes.  How much love was given to those characters. Because they knew that was their only chance to hook the audience, to get a green light for a full season.  So they put everything into character development and plot - and now they’ve lost so much of what made the show precious in the first place.  (It’s still precious, but it’s tainted in many ways for me now).

Animation

It’s gone downhill. That’s really all I can say without being mean.  Some episodes seem slightly better than others, but if you compare the animation from 3x01 to an episode like Failsafe...there’s just no comparison.  I could hardly watch Wally’s scene without frowning at the frame rate.

Message

I don’t understand what the show is telling us anymore (or I didn’t, before Black Lightning gave a very “on the nose” speech about what it is that we were supposed to take away from this season).

I mean this has always been an issue with the show, but at least it was a little clearer in season 1.  Then, we had several themes:

Found family (+ Actions speak louder than heritage)

Don’t call us sidekicks (AKA the kids can make a difference)

Secrets are poison (They can tear a team apart. Trust in friends)

Season 2 was a little convoluted...and sort of just recycled material. 

Secrets are poison (dammit, Dick)

You are in charge of your own destiny (Jaime/Connor)

Sacrifice (Kaldur, Artemis, Wally, Bart...they all gave something up for the greater good).

But what is the message of season 3?

Secrets are still poison (Tara, Violet, Batman v. Wonder Woman team)

I suppose it’s about healing and letting others in?  Like how  Brion and Victor have both worked through their anger?  Artemis and Jefferson and Dick and Gar sorting through their grief...somehow...off-screen...(except for the episode devoted to Artemis saying goodbye to Wally.)

Perhaps...accepting yourself?  (Victor, Violet, Brion, Connor?)

Do you see my issue here?  How much harder it is to see what I’m supposed to take away from the show now?  I’m not saying there aren’t any good messages being told, but they’re difficult to interpret.  Sometimes that can be good.  But this time I’m on the fence.

Conclusion

I love many of the characters from this show, but the fandom acts as if the writing is impeccable, and that’s just not true.  Not everything is bad.  Some of it is still miles beyond other animated television (looking at you vld).  And I genuinely enjoyed about half of the episodes this season. But I think it’s important to recognize the flaws in media, as a writer myself, and as a consumer of these shows.  

Plz be civil in the comments, and understand that this is only my opinion. 

[flashhwing]

Hmm... for me i feel like Dick’s character is so well complemented by Bludhaven because like,,, it’s not quite Gotham, it’s not fuckin gargoyles and wrought iron it’s casinos and strip clubs and like gross flashy shit and i think Dick kinda loves that? He loves his gross shithole it’s fun and flashy and kind of reminds him of the circus. But on the other hand, Wally’s a midwestern Boi. He says ope. He can’t handle all this fuckery. So like they live in bludhaven for a while and Wally gets ill-

-and they live in central for a while and dick gets homesick and THEN they fuck off to California for a year bc hell maybe theyll like it there! And then idk idk I always feel like if/when Dick has a kid he’ll want to move back to Gotham to be close to family so maybe that’s their endgame. Or maybe they fucking join the circus. i’m rambling and brainstorming idek im sorry

or maybe they fucking join the circus that’s not a nice thing to call the Justice League

Wally probably Tries to move to Bludhaven, since it’s like Where Dick Is, and he’s got his superspeed so he can still be Flashing over in Central and home in time for dinner but … it just doesn’t feel right.  And like, Central is a city too, but it has a totally different feel.  Central is cafes and museums, it’s sleepy smiles and high school art shows and your neighbor’s spelunking club advertising itself on benches.  Her rogues wear colorful costumes and are careful not to kill civilians and meet up with the Flash for drinks sometimes.  But Bludhaven?  Bludhaven is casinos and strip clubs, it’s sly smirks and “hey baby” and a fist in your face, if you’re not careful.  It’s too bright and a little slimy and whatever charm Dick sees in it, Wally completely misses.

But he Tries.  He tries, because he wants to be with Dick, but it’s tough.  Bludhaven sucks.  And running 2400 miles every day sucks.  He’s tired all the time, he starts showing up late to everything (work, missions, rogue-related emergencies, etc), he can barely keep up with the caloric intake necessary to keep this up.  It takes a toll.  And Dick, ever the detective, knows this is going on, and knows that something has to change.

Because isn’t this exactly what he was worried about?  Isn’t this why he wanted to keep Wally out of Bludhaven to begin with?  The city’s good for him, with its faux glitz and dark alleys, its fancy facade hiding decades of decay.  Dick’s in his element here and doesn’t that say just a little too much about him, but Wally?  Genuine, wholesome, good-natured Midwestern boy Wally? okay, maybe he’s not that genuine and wholesome, but compared to Bludhaven?  He doesn’t belong here, and it shows.  

Something has to change, and Dick has a choice to make.  He can’t send Wally back to Central alone, because that would feel too much like a break up.  But he can’t leave Bludhaven, not while there’s still work to be done, and let’s face it, Central City will never need the kind of help that Nightwing has to offer.

And wasn’t it always gonna come to this? says a snide voice in the back of Dick’s head.  Nightwing or Wally?  You can’t have both.

Fuck you, says Dick to the voice, as he files for a transfer to Central.  No police force is free from corruption, so Dick Grayson will have his work cut out for him wherever, and if the Flash can work with Nightwing in Bludhaven, then Nightwing can work with the Flash in Central.  He can come out during the day.  Maybe he’ll even go back to the disco-wing suit no he won’t but a man(wally) can dream.

The issue then is just a matter of who’s gonna take over keeping Bludhaven safe?  Dick’s put far too much of himself into this city to just up and abandon her.  I could go on but I’ve been writing this for two hours (i love my roommate but i wasn’t trying to have conversations with her!) and i need to take a shower so Cass takes over Bludhaven, it’s great, see this post for slightly more detail

[jay-birddie]

heaven on earth// dick grayson x reader

request: none! I just really had the inspiration. though, i should get on to writing the actual requests i still have in my inbox.

pairing: dick grayson x reader

au?: takes places in the 1940′s. for some reason i got that kind of vibe when writing this. 

genre: the good ol’ stuff

a/n: wow author you’re finally puttng out fanfic again after six months.

Also, I used to keep a notebook with daily paragraphs of writing. The first 3 paragraphs are from that notebook. i feel as if i now lack the creative mind I once had in my writing, but i know that in order to become a better writer, i actually have to pick up a writing utensil and let my feelings flow.

A lady, standing there, an angelic glow radiating off her body. 

A man, standing just a few feet away, being pulled towards the light. 

Beams of light reflected off of the crystalline glasses held delicately in her pristined hand. Those hands, trained to hold a grace in their movement, kept the glass so still that even the golden wine within it would remain unmoving as her her head tipped back in open-mouthed laughter.

White satin gloves covered her elegant hands to represent her purity and youth to the rest of the attenders and potential bachelors. The oval pearl earrings clipped onto the lobe of her ear dangled back and forth in time with the movement of her head like a metronome, glittering with the pearlessence of gemstone along with opalescence of the diamonds surrounding it. She had a natural forid tint to her cheeks, and so the need to apply rouge was unnecessary.

Although at her fair age, Dick could notice the crinkles on the outer corners of her eyes that would define themselves later as she aged and mature. It was her constant smile that created his prediction, though it wasn’t a feature that he disliked but appreciated. A faux grin doesn’t cause the outer corners of one’s eyes to crease.  

Her features were so genuine, and it made Dicks heart flutter against his sternum and his cheeks match the color of hers.

He took continuous sips of his champagne only to avoid any gawking he might display, and looked around aimlessly as if he were searching the crowd for the perfect partner. But his eyes had already landed on her, through her eyes did not do the same.

The part of him that wasn’t so entranced wondered which family or organization she belonged to, as he had never seen her there before. She could just be a villain incognito, or a spy for the government, but Dick had to admit that he would spill every secret if she asked.

Her dress was quite magnificent; It was plain, yet so interesting. It was all one piece and the color of pink peonies. The fabric, from bodice to skirt was shiny, as if a shoe shiner polished it. The skirt draped elegantly down past her ankles, covering her feet as she stood there. A lengthy, thin, burgundy ribbon was wrapped once around and tied into a long, drooping bow.

The bodice was the most intriguing part of the entire ensemble: it was fitted at the waist up to the breast, where another thin ribbon of burgundy ran just below her shoulder. On the other side of the ribbon, the fabric scalloped at an upward angle all around her, making it look like her supple body was emerging from a budding flower.       

He tipped the glass back only to find that his previous sip was his last, and his glass and stalling session time had run out.

He set his glass down on the silver platter of a butler swiftly passing by, and took a daring step towards her. But then, he took a step back as soon he saw her eyes on him. They took his breath away, her delicate eyes. The soft glow of the lighting made her features look gentle, and created a twinkle in her orbs.

She smiled at him, and he thought he might faint right then are there. He returned the smile, and before his mind could realize, he continued to walk in her direction. She began to walk as well with a focus that Dick was glad remained on him, and soon their bodies met.

Dick felt his soul being pulled in, and if hers was magnet that attracted him. Her natural, uncovered beauty made her more alluring up close.

“It’s rare that one is invited to a Wayne gala, and I’ve only heard rumors of actually being greeted by the host or his family. It must be my luck that both happen to me, of all people,” she said sweetly. Her finger tapped silently against her glass and swirled the remaining drops of campagne.

“Guess you’ll be able to tell the tale,” Dick responded, shifting his arms to fold behind his back to make him seem more open and confident. He giggled softly, her lips stitched together, nothing compared to what he had seen earlier. “Which organization are you a part of? I don’t believe I’ve seen you here before,” Dick quickly added to avoid any and all awkwardness that could occur.

“I’m not affiliated with any organization. Which reminds me,” she lurched with excitement in recalling a thought, “that what Mr. Wayne’s doing with some of his earnings is the most wholesome act I’ve seen since the late Ms. Ast, bless her sol, put in her will that her manor was to be the new Gotham City Orphanage,” she said.

He studied her for another moment, waiting for her to reveal the reason she was  here. She took in the last sip of her refreshment, filling the gap in the conversation. Dick looked down at his feet as she did so, somehow amused. His head remained downturned as his eyes quickly glanced to the rim of her glass There was no lipstick mark, and Dick realized that her lips were always just that naturally spiked with blood.

“I am a humble journalist,” she said unexpectedly, her voice leaking with pride that the ‘humble’ could not conceal. Dick’s head popped up from the sound of her voice, and his left eyebrow lifted with interest. He remembered talk of women entering the literacy field, but frankly, he had never actually met one. “I write for the Gotham City Gazette.”   

“You must be one hell of a writer,” He commented, prolonging her beaming smile. She thanked him, reaching to make sure not a hair had fallen out of its curled and rolled state. She looked around for a moment, prompting him to do the same.  

“I’m going to search for that butler with the champagne. Would you like another glass?” She asked. Dick had reached his limit of two. Unfortunate, yes, but one particular night taught him how well he could hold his alcohol: barely.

“No, thank you,” He said. She began to turn as he continued, “Although, a dance would do nicely.” The words slipped from Dick’s mouth, and froze her body. He could see her lips creasing as he stood there, waiting for a response with an arched eyebrow and inquiring eyes, his lips parted slightly.  

“No one’s ever asked me to dance.” She blushed, making it look like she rubbed raspberries all over her cheeks. She reversed the half turn, facing towards Dick again and acknowledged her embarrassment by bringing her hands to cup her cheeks to cool them. Dick chuckled at the reaction but was puzzled by what she said.

“Who was that fellow just before me talking to you? He seemed very interested,” he asked.

“Just a very good friend of mine. I’ve know him for my entire life and each time I see him he’s telling me a new story. Though sometimes exaggerated, he is quite humorous.” She was so animated in her speech compared to stuffy people Dick had met at previous galas who had their arms glued behind their back and their bodies stiff as boards. “But yes, I would love to dance, though you’ll have to forgive my feet before I step on one of yours.”

Dick laughed, untying his arms and holding a hand out to finally take hers. he assumed that by now, she had forgotten about her drink. Naked met gloved as she placed her hand in his. The gloves felt new, soft like the petals of budding roses in the spring. Their steps were quick and excited as they rushed along with other couples to the dance floor. Music entered the atmosphere. It was as bright and jumpy as his heart, the allegro tempo of the violins in harmony with the piano.

They set their bodies in place and waited for the cue: Their hands clasped, and Dick thought they fit and molded together perfectly; He placed his arm around her backside, settling his hand in the indent of her side, and he tried to keep the most chaste thoughts running through him; She placed her other hand on his shoulder, and Dick felt a delicate heat flow down to his stomach and birth butterflies.

The music replaced the hushed and nonexistent voices of the dancers as feet began to move. She immediately looked down to hers, though kept in mind the eye contact that needed to be exchanged with a dance partner. Dick could see the anxiety deep within her pupils. He felt sympathetic towards the lady, remembering the first time her attended a Wayne Gala. He was so nervous, the point of his shoe didn’t even step into the ballroom.

“Hey,” he whispered. He would have called her by her name if he had known it. Her head whipped up at the call to attention. “Don’t think about your feet. The music will make them move on their own.”

She nodded slowly, still gazing at him. Like Dick said, her feet maintained in perfect sync with the music. She got excited, pulling a sudden breath of air into her lungs, and her eyes brightening in triumph.

She gained more confidence as the music reached it climax, and Dick lost count of how many successful spins and box-steps they did. But he did keep track of the many times she looked as though love enwrapped her like the film on a piece of candy, so tightly twisted, yet so easy to come undone. He wanted to the be the one to unwrap her on the nights when everything seemed right in the world. He wanted to taste the sweetness of her skin, and get drunk on her heavenly perfume.

Not once did they break eye contact, and Dick knew that anyone who saw their affection would be jealous at the sight, and wish upon a star that they could experience the same feeling.

As the music came to a fade, so did their movements, until her dress sightly grazed passed her ankles at a slowing turn. She removed one hand slowly from shoulder, but Dick could still feel the warmth from her palm and fingers. His arm unlatched from her back, but Dick remembered that he might have more intimate dances with her in the future. Their hands unclasped, but their fingers lingered in touch and their bodies remained close, and their souls molded together perfectly.  

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #499

Top Ten Everything Ever

Four hundred and ninety-nine. That’s how many weeks I’ve been doing this four. Four hundred and ninety-nine.

Next week is the big five-oh-oh and I’m doing something typically stupid, but I wanted to make it a real celebration. That means for the next three weeks you’re going to get some rather meaningful and special Tops Ten; lists that have been long in the making, or that are just bonkers-level awkward for me to do. Like this one.

I mean, I’ve ranked films, games, fictional guns, and robots that made me cry. How much longer can I do this for? How many more weeks am I going to put myself through this?

Give me a barrel with bottom unscrap’d.

There’s nowhere to go but up, ladies and germs, and so I present to you the list to end all lists. The most definitive list possible. A list of everything. A list of my favourite things in all of time and space. A list of the official best things ever.

I mean, what more is there to say? This covers everything. I’ve tried to avoid it being really specific to one film or one person. And, of course, it doesn’t include people I know in real life, or events that have happened to me. These are, in their own way, big, sweeping things; film series, franchises, bands, stories that have in their own way changed my life. Just the greatest things I’ve come across in my nearly 40 years on this planet.

And you can’t say fairer than that.

The Transformers comic: this should be obvious to anyone who knows me well, but there’s no greater influence in my life, in terms of storytelling or entertainment, than Transformers. And of all the variants branching off from the Prime Timeline (pun very much intended), it’s the comic that’s greatest. Whether it’s the melodrama of Simon Furman or the intricate plotting of James Roberts, I’ve been addicted to the Transformers comic for the vast majority of my life. It has fundamentally shaped how I consume fiction and the sorts of things I’m into. It’s also really changed how I write, and, in fact, the original Marvel run is at least partly responsible for the fact that I write at all. I drew Transformers comics as a kid. I planned out elaborate multi-issue arcs before I was a teenager. I wrote detailed synopses and snatches of scripts for Transformers movies that would never be made. And I robbed, wholesale, motifs and lines of dialogue for the original books and comics I was working on too. It changed my life. It’s not hyperbole to say Transformers is the single biggest piece of fiction I’ve ever touched. Till all are one indeed.

The films of Steven Spielberg, 1975-1982: Spielberg is my favourite filmmaker, but it felt a bit weird to just say “Steven!” as one of the entries here. So instead I’ve decided to hone in on his early career, despite the fact that knocks out one of the biggest influences of my life, Jurassic Park. But everything I love about Spielberg is in these movies. His skill with a camera, his love of light, his great eye for casting, his way with actors; I mean, Close Encounters, which I probably first saw aged about twelve, is just a microcosm of all my interests in my teens: aliens, government conspiracies, determined men going on a crazed quest, and above all a pervasive sense of hope and optimism. Spielberg’s craft is exemplary, but that’s also true of many of his peers. His flair for action scenes and love of spectacle is entertaining, but there are many directors of whom you could say the same. What I love about him – what keeps bringing me back to him – is his warmth and optimism, his belief in the best of us. Even in his darkest movies, in Schindler’s List and A.I. and Munich (which has one of the bleakest endings of his career), there’s still joy and warmth and something worthwhile and wholesome to fight for. And whilst Raiders is a thrill-ride and E.T. an emotional tour-de-force, all of his preoccupations are encapsulated in Jaws, a tense horror film, a buddy-comedy, an entertaining rollercoaster, an acting masterclass. But it’s still Jurassic Park that made me want to make a movie.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe: so when I was a kid I was reading Transformers and Ghostbusters and other Marvel-published adaptations, but not really any actual Marvel comics. However, as a result, I became very loosely familiar with who Iron Man and Doctor Strange were (and Spidey of course) through references and back-up strips, and that time Death’s Head fought Tony’s nephew Arno Stark. No, when I started reading “proper” comics – mainstream superhero stuff – it was DC. I loved Batman, so I bought Batman, and that was a gateway to the rest of the DCU. However, despite the successes of the various DC movie adaptations, it’s the MCU that really, really got its hooks into me. For one, they’re really good adaptations, well-cast, with some great set-pieces. But the interconnected stuff is what really sings. Not just the characters popping up in each others’ movies, or even the overall arc leading up the crossover events; no, it was the actual shared-ness of it, the way the destruction of SHIELD had an impact, or the Sokovia Accords, or Asgard, Skrulls, magic… everything has an impact, an effect. And sure, it’s incredibly good fun to follow the breadcrumbs and try to work out where things are heading. As we enter a new phase – literally and figuratively – I just can’t wait to find out what’s next.

Grant Morrison’s Batman: talking about interconnectivity, no one does it better – or weirder – than Morrison. His Batman arc – and I’m referring to the character not the title, as it spans multiple series and even, arguably, includes work he did on JLA years earlier – is a web of connected theories, images, themes, events, and references. What does the Zur-En-Arrh graffiti in Gotham mean, not just in the here-and-now, but also as a long-standing reference to decades of Batman’s past? The anticipation of uncovering the next breadcrumb, the excitement of deciphering the next reference; it was long-form storytelling as a form of existential theatre, and it was sublime. But he also did two things that have utterly changed my view of the character. On the meta level, he presented a Batman where everything was canon; the grim thirties Shadow-inspired vigilante, the goofy fifties space adventures, the hairy-chested love-god of the seventies… it all happened to one man over a span of about 15-20 years. Fair enough; that’s cool storytelling. But his idea that Batman was not a miserable, psychopathic loner, that he was not insane or struggling to cope or still traumatised by his parents’ death, that Bruce Wayne was a nice guy with friends and family, who’d used his pain as a weapon, who’d gotten past his rage and grief and turned all the negative stuff outwards. Batman was what was built from all that, and Batman allowed Bruce to grow. And what did he do? He found other lost children and saved their lives, allowing Dick Grayson to take over. Batman is a force for good, in a similar way to Superman in Morrison’s All-Star book, making people better by association. And his confrontation with Darkseid in Final Crisis is extraordinary; brilliant as-is, as a piece of comicbook badassery on the page, but the metatextual resonance it’s given – Batman as a good man versus the font of all evil, David versus Goliath, Theseus and the Minotaur – is brilliant. How it ties in to Morrison’s wider Bat-epic, the whole Black Glove stuff and the devil and time travel and the myth of Batman’s creation and all of it… and just the simple thing of Batman’s last act being shooting the embodiment of evil, saving a human life, and then saying “Gotcha,” before dying, is perfect. Perfect.

The Secret of Monkey Island and Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge: when I was little, I played Spectrum and C64 games at my cousins’ house. Then I got an Amiga – I think maybe I was ten? – and I started playing Amiga games. And it was fun and all, but then I read a review in Amiga Action, and my life changed. It was something called an “adventure game”, and it let you walk around chatting to people and interacting with the world, with great big colourful graphics and characters whose mouths moved when they spoke. And then I played it. My love of the medium and its possibilities was cemented then; and, fittingly, it was through the wordy, hilarious dialogue and comedy antics of a wannabe pirate who may, or may not, be selling these fine leather jackets. It’s not overstating things that my gaming tastes were defined by this game and its technically superior sequel. The quirky set-pieces, the weird puzzles, the playing with form (like when you “die” in Monkey 2), and the smart use of Lucasfilm in-jokery. The first game’s “How to Get Ahead in Navigating” gag/puzzle will live with me forever, as will the second game’s bonkers, nightmarish, beautifully constructed ending. As good as they were, none of the subsequent games could hold a candle to it, especially as the whole aesthetic changed into something much more cartoony. But these two? They’re my Big Whoop.

Star Wars: I imagine I know a lot of people in real life who would be surprised – nay, astounded – that I would list my ten favourite Things of all time, and yet Star Wars would not manage to break the Top Five. That’s because that as much as I love Star Wars – and I do, I really do – it didn’t hit me, didn’t speak to me, apart from one brief and weird moment in my late teens. It was games that made me fall in love, I think; games and toys. And, I have to confess, it was the prequels; the intricate digital visions of gleaming cities and impossibly acrobatic Jedi. I love the goofiness and ultra-seriousness of Lucas’ vision, sadly muddled now by the earthy chaos of the sequels. Star Wars is cool; for a while, it defined my idea of cool in cinema. An exciting sci-fi reimagining of ancient and endless myths, a confusing smorgasbord of weird stories and arcane philosophy. Plus spaceships and rapscallions and laser swords. So yes: whilst it was never my faith, so to speak, it’s still one of the coolest and most original pieces of fiction in my lifetime, and to this day there are very few things at all that I find more exciting and evocative than the thought of a Jedi pirouetting through the air with their ‘saber lit.

Middle-Earth, in print and film: one of my most vivid memories of childhood is my mum reading me The Hobbit (and also Macbeth, funnily enough). Then I bought myself my own copy, read it as a kid, read it again as a teenager, wrote (aged about 12 or 13) a sequel in which Gollum comes back to reclaim the ring. I remain to this day baffled that my teacher did not think to tell me that there actually was a sequel to The Hobbit. Eventually I did hear about it, watched the Ralph Bakshi version, and – when I read in Empire that it was gonna be a film and Sean Connery, of all people, was gonna be Gandalf – I thought it best to take the plunge. And I adored it. whilst there’s something about the lyrical simplicity of The Hobbit that I prefer, the depth and scope of The Lord of the Rings – and Tolkien’s subsequent, more disparate writing – that moves me on a profound level. It’s not just the epic nature of the work – the story itself, with its grandiose tales of heroism and adventure – but the sheer balls of the man to make such a thing, to craft wholesale an entire mythological ecosystem. And then the films! I can’t believe they managed to do that; it was pure lightning in a bottle, and we know that because they didn’t quite manage to do it a second time with the Hobbit movies. But all those glorious moments: “Fly, you fools”, “For Frodo”, “I can carry you”, “Go away and never come back” – bloody hell.

Empire magazine: it feels a bit weird, for some reason, citing a magazine as a Favourite Thing. It’s a magazine, a periodical, a journal; it tells you the news and recommends films. it’s not supposed to be part of the culture, part of the fabric of one’s being. But whilst you could debate whether criticism itself is culture, Empire definitely has a culture. It’s a club, nay, a family; something that has been entrenched in recent years through its podcasts and live shows. But for me it began as an education. I started reading it, really, to find out more about Jurassic Park (there we are again, the secret eleventh part of this list). But it went on, showing me more films and filmmakers, introducing me to esoteric industry concepts, broadening my horizons. I always liked film, but Empire made me love film. It reflected my tastes but then it enriched them, codified them, offered me new flavours. It was the first magazine to put Lord of the Rings on the cover; it celebrates Spielberg and the MCU; it had articles about The Greasy Strangler, for goodness’ sake. So much of what I love about film I learned from Empire over the last (nearly) thirty years, and so much of what I love about Empire now is because of what I learned. Bangily-bang.

Traveller’s Tales’ LEGO games: the games that did not make this list, I don’t know. Halo; man, I love Halo. Or what about classics like Lemmings, Worms, or SWOS? What about Mass Effect, Deus Ex, or Fable? What about Mario Kart, what about Civilization? They all deserved a place, really. But there’s something esoteric, timeless even, about the heights of the LEGO games. I remember playing a demo – on the first Xbox, I think – of the first LEGO Star Wars, and being blown away by the fact that, well, it was good. When the games started coming out on the 360 – Star Wars II, Batman, Indiana Jones – I was in the gloriously fortunate position of getting a lot of them for free at CITV, and I devoured them. The simple mechanics, the generous, forgiving gameplay, the satisfying tactile feel of smashing objects and collecting studs. There was something just so rewarding about playing them. And the fan-service! Giving you all those beloved characters, all those worlds, all those genuinely funny in-jokes, references, and cut-scenes. Plus they’re great to play with kids. Time went on, some games were better than others; I feel they reached their peak with the first LEGO Marvel Super-Heroes game, presenting us with an open world New York to play in and a collection of comic book characters that fitted the gameplay perfectly. Subsequent games have either put new restrictions on play, or given us more complicated stories and mechanics, or – really – just over-egged the pudding slightly. I’m really, really optimistic and excited for The Skywalker Saga, long overdue, and promising something of an overhaul. it began, really, with Star Wars; and I feel with Star Wars they’ll have their greatest hour.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds: fun fact: finding the tenth spot on these lists is very hard. How about a brand I love, like Xbox, or the BBC, or even Disney? Or another writer or director – what about Aaron Sorkin? Or a TV show – Doctor Who, perhaps, or Star Trek? Or how about, oh I dunno, Shakespeare? I like him. But I’ve not talked about music, so let’s do that; we’ll go out on a number. I’m not a musical person; I didn’t grow up frequenting record shops or listening to mix tapes in my room. I liked songs, but mostly I came to music through film. That was even true with Nick Cave, who I first heard in an episode of The X-Files, and read about in the X-Files magazine. But he remains one of the few artists, The Bad Seeds one of the few bands, that I continue to seek out and listen to regularly (rather than just saying “Alexa, play nineties rock”). I love the different styles, from the distorted noise of the early, post-Birthday Party years through the sombre melodies of Nocturama. I love Cave’s lyricism; his evocation of myth, his use of imagery. I love how he manages to get phrases like “morally culpable” into a song. I love the humour as well as the tragedy, the references to things both real and mythological, the sadness and eloquence of it all. I love how so many of his songs are about sex but are also really moving and meaningful; how much of the music is infused with pain and sorrow but is also uplifting. The horrible evocations of Cave’s own abuse in Do You Love Me, through to the references to his son’s death in Girl in Amber. I love Cave’s voice. I don’t know if this has come through in this list, but something I really like is stuff that makes me cry but isn’t necessarily sad. I cry when I read Sandman, when he wins the Oldest Game by challenging the end of everything by becoming “hope”; I cry when Donna tells Josh, “if you were in the hospital I wouldn’t stop for red lights”; I cry when Steve Rogers jumps on that dummy grenade. I think it’s hope and heroism and love. And that’s something that I get constantly, mainlined, intravenous, from Nick Cave. As Morgan Freeman says in Seven, “The world is a fine place and worth fighting for – I agree with the second part.”

God, there’s so much stuff not listed here. So many things I love that I feel are core; no Pixar, no West Wing, no other filmmakers cited, really, apart from Spielberg. But ten’s not a big number, and I contain multitudes.

Thanks for reading.

[blueflamebird]

5, 7, 8, 16, 32 and 33 for ask writer meme :D

Making me do work xD I love you tho

Based off this thing 

5. Share one of your strengths.

Ummmmm. I honestly dont know I feel like I’m bland at everything? Does projecting myself onto characters and messing up in terms of their personalities count???

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. 

I am in literally 8345678987654321 fandoms and have no idea what a prose is but since i dont really have any favorite quotes for my one piece fics I guess I’ll choose from the jaytim/sheith crossover i never updated:

“Dick Grayson was many things. He was an acrobat. He was a proud circus performer. He was the first Robin. He was Nightwing. He was Bludhaven’s rookie cop. He was the leader of the Titans, well on his way to being a part of the Justice League. But most importantly, he was an annoyed older brother.”

I love this quote because it was the first time i felt like i really understood Dick Grayson as a character. The fandom always portrays him as sunshine and rainbows but he’s very much human. He gets angry, he gets annoyed, hes imperfect. Thats what makes him one of my favorite characters in batman, or in DC as a whole.

 8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

And here you will see I’m Zosan trash.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“No problem, curly. Thank you for trusting me.” 

“Zoro…do you think the All Blue exists? I mean, being the greatest swordsman is something you can achieve. But the All Blue…I could spend my whole like chasing a fairy tell.”

“Trust me, it exists, Sanji. And you’ll find it.”

ajhdfeskrtjsletrty. 12,412 words of pure smut and I had to add this little bit because its CANON THEY BOTH TRUST AND RESPECT EACH OTHER. I’m zosan trash ;-; I love them so much 

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

ONLY ONE????? Y U DO DIS?? ahhhhhh. Jaytim or sheith??? mostly because both pairings have so much history and chemistry I can literally never run out of ideas….(except when i do ;-;) Im a slut for enemies to lovers, angst and hurt comfort. why am i like this

32. How do you feel about smut?

I’m not very good at writing it but i have read it so much I can read it in public with a straight face. I love me my good, wholesome smut. especially if its a slowbuild fic. or a fic where they arent good with words so they show their emotions through action. WHOLESOME

33. How do you feel about crack?

I LOVE MY CRACK FICS. AS A GINTAMA FAN, EVERYTHING CAN BE CRACK FICS. ESPECIALLY WHEN WELL DONE YES PLS. 

[bigskydreaming]

A good description. For my part, I don't like talking about it because of my own experiences. I can, however, see Batman, a story where nearly every memorable villain and even the protagonist himself is a Svengali, could attract a disproportionate number of rape apologists, though fandom is full of them. (Oh, hey, that's the other thing with Jason. Talia.)

Ugh I’m so sorry to hear you can relate, and I totally understand not wanting to talk about it. I have no idea what your particular situation is, obviously, but I also want to reiterate since its been awhile since I’ve mentioned this part.....I don’t feel any like....basically, my choice to talk about this stuff is simply put, MY choice, made for my own reasons, that aren’t a reflection on any other survivor. There are a million and one reasons NOT to come forward, or to struggle with it or not to be open about what happened to us, and none of them are a reflection on any of us, but rather the position it puts us in.

Again, I don’t know your situation or what gender you might be or anything else, and this isn’t at all because your ask made me feel defensive or anything like that. This is just something I’ve wanted to put into words for awhile now seems relevant today, and here’s as good a place as any to put it down:

For myself, being a male survivor....like, there’s never really been any getting around the existence of that kinda, idk, caveat that not many male survivors come forward. Sure, we all see the posts and tweets reminding “remember, men can be raped too!” But that’s not the same thing as men sharing their stories and experiences the way far more women have come forward. And that’s why I ultimately began talking about my own experiences in order to express how I felt about my own positioning in society and how as a survivor I interact and am interacted with by others. Because frankly, there wasn’t anywhere else I could really look to in order to see others talking or sharing about similar things and see myself reflected in what they were saying or the experiences they were describing. So, if I couldn’t find what I felt I needed or could have benefited from, I figured at least I could put it out there in case anyone else who could relate could benefit from mine.

Except, ultimately I’ve come to feel that I honestly don’t believe its that men just flat out don’t come forward with their stories or experiences, its that even when we do, we’re rarely signal boosted - as you can kinda see from the fact that I can post the most inane shit and get it to a thousand notes, but in the five plus years I’ve been making posts about this subject, I’m lucky if I can get a single post on the topic to double digits as far as notes go.

People just flat out are a combination of uncomfortable with the novelty of actual discussions about and around male survivors as well as being not really sure how to talk about it because we’ve never really developed the tools for it.

And to be 100% clear, this has NOTHING to do with female survivors, as a point of comparison or ANYTHING else. It drives me up a fucking WALL when people try and compare and contrast even just how much men being raped is talked about vs women being raped, no matter WHAT their reasons are, because I promise people, I PROMISE - NO survivor, of any gender, has EVER benefitted from being pitted against other survivors to ANY degree. Its not a zero sum game and it doesn’t help male survivors to pull shit like “well at least female survivors are acknowledged” because a) eww, and b) nobody asked anyone to say that on our behalf, and c) hyper-visibility isn’t a privilege (or whatever the best parallel to that might be, I’m not trying to appropriate an anti-blackness specific term so much as its the closest comparison I have at the moment for something that isn’t even a matter of marginalized identities but rather marginalized experiences) and d) its COMPLETELY beside the point and actually misses the point by a WIDE margin.

Because what I’ve come to realize over the years, from my own experiences and talking and sharing with survivors of all genders and demographics and walks of life, is that first off....nobody really needs the reminder that hey, men can be raped too. We see it happen all throughout entertainment and other aspects of society, its not an experience that’s hidden away from the light, its just not ever really CALLED what it is, or followed up on, and talked about.

Like Dick Grayson isn’t a statistical outlier in media. Take Horrible Bosses, a summer blockbuster comedy a few years back with a cast of fairly big name comedians, and whose running B plot throughout the whole movie was Jennifer Aniston’s character wanting to rape her employee, Charlie Day’s character. Not only was this not objectionable to audiences in any sizable way, not only did this never really get called out as wtf by critics and reviews, the movie was successful enough to warrant a sequel with even BIGGER names in its cast, like Christopher Pine, and the continuation of the Aniston’s character trying to rape Charlie Day’s subplot. With zero awareness. And its not like that’s the only movie. There’s plenty more I could name.

Or then you’ve got television, where like, take Riverdale, a well-promoted, well known CW show....whose first few episodes featured the lead character Archie in a sexual relationship with his much older female teacher. Except not really a relationship, because that’s textbook, no debate, literal statutory rape.....that ended with Archie’s character being condemned for it as though he were on equal footing with the teacher, who ultimately left town, and it never really acknowledged that he was literally a victim of statutory rape, that any teacher who does that is not an equal partner but a predator. I stopped watching the show for a lot of reasons by like the fourth episode, but I see enough gifs on tumblr to know that several seasons later, this left little enough impact that some kind of Archie-goes-to-jail plotline has resulted in more memes and jokes about prison rape than I can count, and zero awareness that people are compounding jokes about a character who is literally already an unacknowledged survivor.

That’s one. Or you can take Once Upon A Time, a popular ABC show of multiple seasons, and the running subplot where Robin Hood’s character is raped by the Wicked Witch literally the same way Dick was by Mirage in the comics. She shapeshifts into Maid Marian, who ends up dead, and has ‘sex’ with Robin Hood (no, she rapes him) and ends up pregnant. Not only is this never really called what it is, later on, other characters LITERALLY CHEW HIM OUT for objecting to this baby being left in the care of her mother, aka his rapist, and for ‘not being willing to give her the benefit of the doubt/let her change’ as though him not wanting to co-parent with his rapist is no different from any of the show’s other dubious redemption storylines....except for the fact that this particular part of her redemption arc isn’t ever really one she actually needs redeeming for, because nobody ever fucking points out that she literally raped him and he was her victim. Fast forward to the end of the series, Robin Hood’s been dead for seasons, the Wicked Witch is happily redeemed and has a loving wholesome relationship with her daughter, named after Robin Hood like they were some kind of loving, happy family instead of a rapist, her victim, and the child that was born of it.

Or you can take Grimm, a fairly successful NBC show of multiple seasons WHICH LITERALLY DID THE EXACT SAME THING. The main character Nick was raped in season two by the antagonist of the time, who shape shifted into his wife and had ‘sex’ with him, with him not realizing the truth until later on, by which point she’s pregnant with his child. Fast forward to the end of the show, not only was this never really called what it was, his wife’s character was killed off seasons earlier and he is now, get this, ‘happily’ in a romantic and sexual longterm relationship with his rapist (who he by now knows exactly what she did do and what happened between them and just.....got over it without ever actually like, reacting to it)....and oh yeah, not only are they raising the child born of it together, they’ve had a second child since then.

Anyone ever hear much outcry about the male rapes in these shows? And again, like Horrible Bosses, tip of the iceberg. There’s a LOT more shows I could name, just like there are movies.

Or take comics. Its not even just Dick Grayson that’s a survivor. Or Bruce. Or Jason as you pointed out, which......I know a lot of people ignore both Morrison AND Winick’s take on Talia in order to not write her as the rapist she is in their stories, which I can totally understand as she was a well-established character of color for long before either of them got their hands on her and its perfectly valid for people not to want to have to write her as being tarnished as a rapist because two different writers wrote her that way....without.....either of them ever really acknowledging that was literally how they were writing her. I myself write her as a character of complicated and often dubious morality, but never a rapist, for that reason and many others, but its definitely there. And even in a fandom that has never lacked for acknowledgment of Dick being a survivor whose rapists were women.....a LOT of people still romanticize Jason’s ‘relationship’ with Talia as being something other than a grown woman taking advantage of a minor in an extremely vulnerable and compromised state.....with a TON of other takes out there about the two of them, in posts and fics alike, where its somehow danced around or outright called something other than “that time Talia raped Jason in the comics.”

But its not just the Batbooks. Its like how I’ve mentioned in the past, Garth Ennis wrote into one of his storylines that Kyle Rayner was raped when he went to Gotham one time.....not to make it a plot point, but to use it as a JOKE. Or take Marvel comics, Bobby Drake, one of my other all-time favorite characters....who is also a rape survivor of multiple occasions, without it ever acknowledged as such. Like, he was briefly in a relationship with Mystique, who turned out to have entered the relationship under false pretenses, shocking, and who used having sex with him to depower him and take him out of the upcoming fight between the X-Men and the Marauders, which...we don’t have time to unpack all that right now. But fast forward about a year later, and Bobby has since gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend Opal Tanaka.....who, it turns out, is actually just Mystique in disguise, having sex with him again without it ever being called rape since he was consenting to sex with Opal, not the woman who slept with him that one time just to make sure he was helpless to stop a whole lot of people from getting killed. But hey, forget about Mystique! How about that time Chuck Austen wrote him ‘having sex’ with an empath who was EXPLICITLY noted in the narrative as using her powers to manipulate his emotions to even WANT to have sex with her in the first place, and when an issue later it comes out she’s married and her husband starts beating up Bobby for ‘sleeping with his wife’ all the other characters present, all of them friends and teammates of his, condemn Bobby for this without it ever being acknowledged that he was literally manipulated into it by a superpower and he was the victim.

Again. Tip. Of. The. Iceberg.

But you see what I mean? Male rape isn’t an outlier and it isn’t an unknown....its everywhere! Its just.....never called that, really, and never really talked about, even by people who normally would, except for the fact that I don’t think we as a society have ever really forced ourselves to FIND a way to talk about it, because of the fact that like.....the very notion of it threatens and undermines the essence of the patriarchal beliefs that are hammered into us all from day one. Even when we know the patriarchy is crap, we still have so much ingrained in us from early childhood that stuff like this, which is a blatant symptom of it even if not one aimed primarily at disadvantaging women.....like, it slips under the radar because its never fully called out or spotlighted in loud enough or widely enough ways to keep us from overlooking how much its impacted our POVs.

Blatantly put, the patriarchy and sexism RELIES on the idea that men are somehow more powerful/stronger/whatthefuckever than women. And male victims - of abuse as well as rape, though definitely rape.....like, even just a widespread awareness of our existence is enough to kinda destabilize that belief that is so foundational to the patriarchy its DEPENDENT on it being upheld as unassailable truth.

Because if forced to acknowledge that men are just as vulnerable to even something like rape as anyone else in the ‘right’ situations or dynamics, it forces confrontation with the reality that no matter what the patriarchy has claimed for as long as its existed.....men aren’t inherently any more powerful, or stronger, or resistant to harm/humiliation/VICTIMIZATION as anyone else.

And the patriarchy flat out can’t afford that confrontation, so it can’t afford to acknowledge male survivors.

Again, just want to be beyond clear - nowhere here am I okay with making this about a compare and contrast between the experiences and interactions society has with male survivors and around male rape, and the same with female survivors and rape. Because I mean, we all should be more than aware that society as a whole sucks at the acknowledgment, addressing and handling of rape in any context, in any of the ways it comes up as a topic, in terms of any survivor who comes forward no matter who or when or how.....like. We suck at this topic, and at any and all discussions about this topic. Period. Flat out. So when I say the patriarchy can’t afford to acknowledge male survivors, I am in no way aiming to diminish the reality that it does just as fucking an abyssmal job at acknowledging and responding to female survivors....the point here is not the poor reception any and all survivors receive to disclosing their experiences in our society, but rather the specific why of this when it comes to male survivors just as the particular subject of focus here.

And again, like, my only credentials here are just like. My life experiences, lol. I’m not trying to claim anything more or other than that, make no mistake. I’m a literal college drop out, this is not the result of comprehensive studies or vetted by the scientific method. This is literally just “like, my opinion, man” and makes no pretenses at being other than that. Its just the conclusions I��ve formed over the years and why, completely anecdotal and not aiming to be any kind of authoritative or expert viewpoint with my personal take here. Largely because I haven’t really found anywhere that I feel the conversation has proceeded enough in earnest that its even at a point that would ALLOW for that yet. So this is all more just.....my feel of things, and why, as just kinda idk, hopefully a starting point for further ACTUAL exploration of all this. My attempts at starting the kind of conversation I feel we need to be having in order to be at all productive instead of just constantly spinning around in circles, which is what it so often feels like.

So when I say I think the patriarchy can’t honestly AFFORD to acknowledge male survivors specifically, I’m not positing some grand conspiracy or active cover-up.

Because nothing like that is even necessary.

Its built into the framework of the system itself. Its not that I believe anyone goes out of their way to “hide” male survivors from anyone, I’m saying there’s no need. Because its been so ingrained into us from such a young age and in so many ways, most of us never even think to question whether anything is even being hidden, or if its just as simple as, well men don’t really come forward, because their pride and self-esteem is so impacted by what happened to them, due to the expectations heaped on men by the patriarchy.

Its kinda stunning, actually. Even while ACKNOWLEDGING that the patriarchy does impact male survivors in ways as well, we’re kinda....led away from the ACTUAL ways and ACTUAL reasons why....because despite literally calling the patriarchy out as the bad guy in this way, it still manages to weasel itself out of this confrontation by virtue of the fact that you can’t ever really effectively address a problem when you’re being misdirected to a tangent that’s not really the REAL problem that needs addressing.

So personally, I’m of the belief that its not that men just don’t ever really come forward. Its that even when some do, like myself, we can scream our heads off for years and it just echoes into the void, because its not being heard in the ways we need to be heard in order to effectively....signalboost our stories and experiences and needs. Much like I just mentioned above, its misdirection......everybody’s too focused on addressing an issue that doesn’t actually NEED solving (ie, reminding everyone/promoting awareness that men too, CAN be raped), and thus at least feeling productive, feeling like they’re contributing to tackling the problem.....that meanwhile, the ACTUAL problem (men CAN be raped too, and are, and here are men talking about it only for the signal to get lost and fizzle out rather than get boosted)....it flies right under the radar.

Because in line with what I said earlier about how it does no good to compare our experiences, both in terms of assault and our lives in the aftermath, with women survivors - its because its apples and oranges.

Rape isn’t a gendered issue, because it can happen to anyone of any gender, at any time....its situational. Dependent on context. Rape culture, however, IS a gendered issue.

Because rape culture, how our society INTERACTS with the very idea of abuse and rape and its victims and perpetrators....spills out entirely from that core foundation of the patriarchy and sexism, and thus much like those things themselves, how it affects women survivors is always going to be totally different from how it affects men who are survivors. Our experiences are not interchangeable - that has nothing to do with being better or worse, more publicized or less, etc, etc. They just....manifest different ways. The cause of our trauma-related problems might be the same thing, but the problems it creates for us are not, and none of us can ever really benefit from it being treated as a one size fits all kinda deal, nor is it to our benefit to treat it like there’s only so much conversation about the topic available to go around.

What I mean here is, like I said, the patriarchy at the foundation of our society can’t afford for it to be widely acknowledged that men can be victimized too.

But it can’t actually stop this from happening, given that its basis for saying it never happens is an inherent uneven-ness that only exists because it made it exist, not because like....we’re innately born uneven.

So....it had to come up with a narrative, a response, for when men DID step forward and say hey, I too was abused. I was raped. Etc.

And it did.

As a result, a lot of women don’t come forward because they fear not being believed, with reason. And this is true for a lot of men as well, just as the following is true for a lot of women too....

Which is that IMO the bigger reason/more immediate reason a lot of men don’t come forward, is that our concern isn’t so much that we won’t be believed....

Its that we will be believed, but rather than this getting us the help we need or the justice we ask for, it only ever really creates more problems for us, due to the patriarchy’s go-to fix-it job for this situation:

Paint the male victim as being not so much a victim as a victimizer-in-training.

See, the lie that men are innately more powerful, stronger, more ‘deserving’ of being in charge can’t afford the admittance than men are also vulnerable, can be victimized, taken advantage of.....

But it CAN afford the idea that men can be abused/raped/etc with this going on to eventually result in us becoming abusers/rapists/victimizers ourselves in the future, as long as THIS is kept the clear focus and emphasis of the narrative.

Because after all, there’s nothing in the idea that we all inevitably take out our pain (whatever it may come from) on others that contradicts the idea that we’re stronger, more powerful, etc.

And its not like the patriarchy and its supporters give a shit if this throws even other men under the bus, because the only thing institutions and systems of power actually care about is POWER.

They’re not our friend, even if in a different life, we could have ended up wielding more of that power than we do in this one. Even if we do in other aspects of our lives gain social and other forms of power more easily/with less obstacles than other people.

They only care what we can do for them, to spread that power, perpetuate it, preserve it....so just like white supremacy will happily screw over poor white people and America doesn’t give a shit about its prison population and the LGBTQ+ community so often ignores the issues of its members of color and so on.....the patriarchy is more than willing to make male survivors from any and all groups and communities take the hit it has no intention of taking by letting it be confirmed its built on sand and bullshit.

So just as much as we’re ingrained from early childhood with the idea that men can’t be victimized the way others can, the linked lesson we’re taught is that men who have been hurt badly or in certain ways will almost certainly end up hurting others.....

With the implicit acknowledgment that there was just an admittance that we can be hurt badly/in certain ways ending up just swiftly glossed over. As the focus is instead kept on the harm done to our hypothetical future victims.

Because the easiest way to keep someone from being sympathetic, is to give people someone else to sympathize with MORE. To give people reason to feel a person doesn’t even deserve your sympathy in the first place.

And so now think about not how often we see men victimized by abuse and rape in media, or how often we see men portrayed as survivors and yes, victims of these things.....

Think instead of how often in media we see men who victimize others, who are the antagonists, the villains, the serial killer/rapist/abuser of the week.......and with it offhandedly being dropped into a scene and then never really focused on again, that these men were almost always said to have been abused or raped or victimized in the past....and this is the REASON for why they all ended up doing what they did.

Suddenly, the numbers go up, don’t they? The second you think about it from THAT angle?

Its just....the reason that angle literally exists to the extent it does in society and the messages we’re fed, the entertainment we’re given.....is because that’s the POINT.

Because its natural for us not to think of any of those men as victims when by the time we find that part out, we’ve already internalized our view of them as victimizers, and solidly put our sympathies with their victims in the present. Because what was done to them in the past doesn’t excuse what they do to others in the present. Being hurt doesn’t give you carte blanche to hurt others. We all know this. Hence....WHY IT WORKS.

Except, this isn’t actually a reflection of reality. The myth of the perpetual cycle of abuse is just that, a myth. Oh, it happens, certainly. With men, with women, quite probably more often with men than women, not much doubt about that....

But its not that it happens, we’re told. That’s not the issue here.

Its that we’re pretty much told it ALWAYS happens. Its always GOING to happen. That there’s no real point in sympathizing with a male victim who is most likely going to end up victimizing someone else in the future and thus he’s not really gonna deserve your sympathy at that point, will he? Which makes him not really worth wasting it on him in the first place. Makes it easy to come up with something to focus on more instead of his story or experiences, something just as deserving of your focus or sympathy, but that you’re less likely to end up regretting in the future like you would if a male survivor you sympathized with now ends up in the news five years down the line for having hurt someone else.

Because over centuries and generations the idea of male survivors at all has been cultivated into having this almost mythic quality, there’s just enough subtle feeling of wrongness around the very idea of it, like, that it just doesn’t quite make sense...that it ends up being almost a relief to give our minds a reason, an explanation for why they don’t have to come up with a way to adjust the paradigm there, to make room for that idea, realign a worldview into one where there’s a specific spot for male survivors much like any other subject that needs focusing on or evaluating for whatever reason.

And this point, this conclusion that no matter how tragic what happened to make a male survivor was, it will only ever ultimately end up in the same spot, with him later on passing along the harm, a warped kind of paying it forward....this is hammered home over and over. We see it everywhere, without even often realizing what it is we’re seeing and internalizing, like with the examples I cited of all the times men are raped in entertainment without it being called that. Its the flip side of that....the times that men are raped in entertainment with it being called that, but swiftly moved past that to introduce the reason not to care that that’s what it was we just saw.

And thus throughout several seasons of Law & Order: SVU we’ve had male survivors, usually teens, who at first seemed eminently sympathetic for what had been done to them.....but who by the end of the episodes, ended up becoming school shooters exacting revenge on their bullies. Or ended up killing the coach who raped them in high school and then went on to rape a dozen others. Or in the last scene of the episode is found kneeling over their abusive father’s corpse with blood on their hands and the detectives standing over them in sadness that now they had to take the boy they thought was the victim away to jail as the victimizer he didn’t have to end up becoming.

Except.....he only becomes that because they make the choice to write him becoming it! Every single time!

Like in 13 Reasons Why, where another male survivor ends up....another school shooter. Or in Criminal Minds, where pretty much every single killer throughout the series ended up with a backstory of abuse and rape and victimization as a child, making it ‘all the more tragic’ and with the protagonists often literally using the phrase “almost like the guy never had a chance.”

Well no, they didn’t. Not when it was written to BE that way.

And then we see the idea root and take hold in audiences. And spread and perpetuated. Validated.

Its why I hate the woobification thing in fandoms, where fans of (white) villain characters fill in their backstory for themselves with all the REASONS they are the way they are, and with the reasons never being that they’re just a sadistic entitled asshole, but because they were hurt. They were abused as a child, they were raped offscreen, the heroes said mean things about them in the burn book once and that’s why they just had to kill the hero’s whole family, see.

And everything comes full circle.....not only is it that all male victims are destined to end up victimizers....its equally true that all male victimizers must have once been male victims. Even if we didn’t see it onscreen or on the page.

Except, and why I loathe that fandom tendency.....

THAT NARRATIVE IS NOT AN INEVITABILITY AND NEVER WAS! The end point and point of origin presented there are NOT innately set in stone!

And all that does is just validate and accept as truth the LIE that patriarchal society puts forth in order to play smoke and mirrors with this one specific facet of human experiences that innately possesses the potential to destabilize the lie at the very rock bottom foundation of everything the patriarchy’s ever built at everyone else’s expense. The reason it offers up for why its not only allowable, its for the best that we look elsewhere from any male victims that actually step forward and say hey, can you all listen to me for a second, I want to tell you what happened to me.

And the fun irony of THIS aspect of things is if you think this woobification fandom thing benefits male survivors as a whole in some way or another, like the tendency of fans to find even villainous victimizers sympathetic means that they can and do sympathize just as much with actual male victims.....I’m fairly certain it doesn’t.

See, because with villains in fandom......this retroactive sympathy for imagined past traumas happens to only the characters that fandom has already decided they liked DESPITE the awful things they’ve done. Its made up to be used as an excuse instead of an explanation....

And like we all know damn well, even if we don’t always admit it or like to acknowledge it....

Explanations are not actually excuses. The harm you do can not be wiped away by the harm done to you.

So, because that’s still inside of us, our awareness of that, even if its ignored on the surface while defending hot white villains or whatever.....it doesn’t actually give anyone reason to ignore the narrative our society constructs around actual male survivors who it encourages people to condemn or ignore on the basis of purely hypothetical FUTURE abuses or wrongdoings.

And after all, you can’t actually decide you can look past the harms a person enacts and still view them as sympathetic if....you don’t actually know yet what those harms are going to end up being and thus whether you can make your peace with them, can you?

You just know that harms WILL be done, so....might as well err on the side of caution and assume they won’t be forgivable when deciding here and now to be thrifty with sympathies and spread any actionable effort taken on behalf of survivors in areas where those sympathies are more likely to be put to better use.

And yeah, all of this plays into why I focus so much on certain aspects of Dick’s narratives, and they usually AREN’T the rapes themselves.

Because for me, for many other male survivors I know......

Acknowledging those happened, examining how he felt when those happened....its not the biggest issue. Just like in our own lives, having it acknowledged or known what was done to us, having to face how it made us feel....that’s not really our primary concern.

Its what happens AFTER that.

How people view us and treat us AFTER their initial sympathies, whatever they are, dry up - which, we’re given reason to believe, they always inevitably will.

Because it isn’t all that different from what I frequently complain of happening with Dick in fandom, and hell, its WHY it bothers me so much, because its literally been a recurrent theme throughout my life:

The most widely acknowledged male survivor in comics, just also happens to coincidentally be....

The character most often spun as having a wicked temper, being almost irrationally angry at times, with his temper being likened to things like an eruption, an earthquake, a NATURAL DISASTER....something to be avoided at all costs, something the other characters fear, with good reason, but also impossible to avoid, because its too intrinsic to his nature. Its an inevitability. Dick Grayson WILL erupt or explode again at some point, and its going to be ugly. Like he’s a time bomb.

Even though....as I frequently go in depth on.....Dick’s never actually been shown as having particularly poor self-control either on just its own merits or specifically in comparison to others. He doesn’t really actually HAVE a track record of taking out his own hurts on others. On giving people REASON to be afraid of his temper even while they continue to take no responsibility for giving him reasons to be angry at all.

Its why I so often emphasize the discrepancy between the fact that whatever someone’s own personal character preferences, the FACT remains that Dick Grayson is the character in this family that most often bears the BRUNT of everyone ELSE’S anger.......just as the fact equally remains that Dick Grayson is still ultimately the character most often singled out in posts and headcanons and fanfics as unleashing his temper on others in unjustifable ways and usually without actual provocation.

None of this is a coincidence to me.

Its how we see over and over again that its okay for Dick Grayson to be angry FOR others, ON others’ behalf....its just when he’s angry FOR HIMSELF, for being taken advantage of, ignored, walked all over or mistreated....that’s when his anger is unjustified. Irrational.

Dangerous.

Or you guys know that one fanon about how Dick forces his hugs on his siblings, and his displays of physical affection are often unwanted, and thus violations?

Yeah, that one hits me right in the Issues too, because again, that’s not remotely supported by anything in canon....there has NEVER been an instance of Dick’s family asking him to cut it our or feeling like......IMPOSED upon because he likes to hug his family.

Its not to say people can’t feel that way about even well-meaning displays of physical affection that aren’t cleared with them first....

Its that this is something that people had to DECIDE to make a thing with Dick and his family. To actually craft the narrative that the many-times victim of unwanted touching was effectively violating his family’s wishes and boundaries every time he hugs them without being asked or invited to.

With that number being however many times a writer wants to write him doing when highlighting it as a violation.

And is this a thing we really see with any other character? Is my question there. How often do you see literally any other character being chewed out or resented for....hugging?

Just the one character most known for giving physical affection freely with his FAMILY and close friends.....

Who just so happens to also be the one character most often the guy who has his bodily autonomy violated.

The canon rape survivor has literally had HUGS weaponzed against him.

With the end result being.....every time he does it, every time this pings on a reader’s radar as Bad and Unwelcome....the linked takeaway is its one more reason for that reader to then ask themselves....well if he doesn’t care whether other people want him touching them, why should I care when he doesn’t want people touching him either?

Which ultimately just winds up another form of: why should I feel bad if bad things happened to someone who isn’t really that great of a person?

See what I mean?

Its all connected. Its not me getting frustrated with a bunch of different random things, its all the same thing at the end of the day, all so often traceable back to the same places.

I couldn’t untangle myself from so much of this and how it impacts me and my view of things even if I wanted to, to such an extent that in the end, want really has very little to do with it.

(And uh, you think those bug the shit out of me, let me tell you about just the very SIGHT of all those fics where Dick the widely acknowledged, perhaps best known male rape victim in comics.....is a rapist himself. Because yeah....even if people like to keep their incest light and fluffy or sweet instead of predatory, to someone who is y’know, personally familiar with all of this, Dick and ANY of his younger brothers is never going to appear as anything BUT predatory. As yet one more time where the linear journey of a male survivor all the way to the final evolution into male predator is born out and treated as so matter-of-fact, so inevitable, it hardly warrants noting as anything especially obscene or gross to write about a character famous for his survivor status. And its not like Dick is actually the only character in the franchise I like, so its not like its any better when its Jason painted as the aggressor in a fic, for instance....and while I will always be hugely critical of how Bruce is written as abusive in canon, that’s a wildly different thing from sexually preying on his sons so again, seeing him as his own sons’ rapists is yet again more upsetting than most people would think without connecting Bruce’s own status as a canon rape survivor, whether we like that story or not.....and plugging it into again, this pre-programmed route traveling from survivor to predator, over and over again. Victim to victimizer. Like clockwork.)

Anyway, my point is not to harp on this but rather to just lay it out there in this way. And how it plays into so much of my own personal approach to dealing with all of this when it comes up.......because the simple fact is I have to, there is no opt-out lol, and it comes up a lot, in large part because its so easy t reframe as being something else that most people who don’t have direct experience being directly impacted by all of this in its various myriad expressions are understandably not going to see it pinging on their radar and getting logged into their awareness the way it always does in mine.

*Shrugs* It is what it is. Its there. Avoiding it has never done me any favors, so.......as I so often demonstrate in a variety of degrees of Hmm Probably Coulda Done That Better, lol, I try and deal with things head-on and adjust as needed.

Easier said than done, not always pulled off, never any guarantee that I’m going about things the right way, just that like.....

There’s problems that need addressing that stem from all of this, and I know where mine lie and put a lot, a LOT of effort into addressing them and keeping an eye on them and not letting them get the better of me.

But the flipside of paying that close attention and that much means I’m also keenly aware of when and where I couldn’t take responsibility even if I wanted to, because the responsibility literally just isn’t mine to take....because yeah, I live in a society but guess what, so does everyone else, and its the same damn society, so  at the end of the day, no matter HOW well or not I go about handling the matter of my rapes and their overall impact and shaping of my life.....that’s just me handling the rape part of things.

The rape culture? And how THAT affects and informs every survivor’s life in whatever way it does going forward?

That’s kinda.....only ever going to be improved upon or not, on like....a cultural scale. That’s a society thing. Not a survivor thing.

Because we are all shaped by our cultures, every aspect of our cultures, and this one is unfortunately no different. But, its shaped by us too.

But to actually shape it INTO something, or more accurately, to shape it into LESS of what it is, blunt some of its edges, lessen some of its ability to do harm to survivors, to compound the harm already done.....

Something like THAT requires intent. Conscious effort.

And intent requires like....first being able to SEE what problems need addressing.

And that’s kiiiiinda the whole point of survivors coming forward when so rarely, so MINUTELY does it EVER result in actionable justice for that individual survivor.

And I don’t for a second believe a single one ever believes or assumes otherwise.

Cuz its super not fun. It never like......I don’t fucking know how it looks to other people, tbh, because I’ve literally been a survivor since before I even really knew that I was being abused or molested, that there was something I was surviving....but trust me, I’ve thought about it, I’ve wondered, and I don’t know if like, people think a survivor ‘telling their story’ is somehow an equivalent of like, getting a book deal or something, there’s the attention it brings after all, and isn’t there that saying that no publicity is bad publicity.....

LOL. Yeah. Umm. Just saying, if you don’t have personal experience as a survivor having come forward or shared openly about your experiences, let me refer you to another saying as counterpoint: Don’t believe everything you hear.

Cuz that’s definitely not one anyone else ever forgets when ‘listening’ to any of us.

Anyway, wrapping this up by bringing it back to like.....my extremely evident mood and irration of this past week.....this is ALL connected, this is ALL part and parcel of every single time this comes up as an issue for me and its never less of one at one time than it is at another, its never a little easier this time because this reason or that....its always the same damn frustration every single time. Stuff like this doesn’t get doled out in manageable portions, its all or nothing. Its either a problem right this current second or its not, and if its not, that’s only until the next time its a problem again, likely sooner rather than later.

And that’s the part that makes me talk about this as much as I do, and get as frustrated as I do when people just do not seem to get.....

I don’t have an off switch on this matter because there IS no off switch for me. The times I get frustrated and vent about this stuff are actually only at MOST a TENTH of how often it rears its head for me to deal with.....the times my reactions or responses boil over into public view, into something you guys see, or ‘have to deal with’ are literally just the times where there is no keeping a lid on it because the pot was already full to start with.

And so it really. Epically. Beyoooooond doesn’t help matters, when despite being the only male survivor I’m aware of being consistently vocal on the matter in the only fandom I know of where a prominant male character is almost universally acknowledged as a survivor....

I usually only ever hear the response:

“Mmmmmm, I’m not really sure what makes you think there’s a problem here and that it has anything to do with us, when see, I don’t agree, and I don’t really see why you think your opinion on the matter of how this particular character is written about and viewed and depicted interacting with others and how fandom interacts with him, is like.....of any kind of real relevance? This is just like....your opinion, man.”

Me: ........have I ever claimed for a second it wasn’t? Didn’t I use those exact words at least once in all of this already?

fahsklhfaklhflakfhalffha

Cuz for the record, ultimately, that’s what this all boils down to. I’ve wanted to post about this stuff for awhile now, but make no mistake:

It literally is all just my opinion? Formed of my own personal experiences and the conclusions I’ve taken away from them. Laid out as fully and extensively as I can manage, specifically SO people can take all of that into context when deciding for themselves how much weight or not to GIVE my opinion......

In which case, y’know, the experiences I have with this matter and how they correlate to these opinions, like, have contextual relevance and seem necessary to include.

Its NOT because I’m trying to use them to browbeat everyone into agreeing with me because I think I’m the only one whose opinion matters here, lol.

No. Just that like....it DOES matter? And its kinda exhausting when people act like all of this is arbitrary and abstract to me, that its some kind of superiority complex or me moralizing from a pulpit or some shit when I’m literally saying none of it is abstract or arbitrary to me, and the louder I say that, the more people THEN say “oh so basically your opinion is the only one that matters here unless we disclose the same kind of experiences or background huh?”

*headdesk*

I just.....it seems my stance is either born of self-righteousness and nothing personal whatsoever....unless I make enough of a fuss about how that’s NOT true, in which case my stance is that apparently I think I’m the only one who is allowed to have an opinion here because I’ve made such a point about it being personal.

But its definitely not that people are just determined to invalidate anything I have to say on this subject one way or another, right?

Anyway.

So all of that’s like...whatever that was. Make of it what you guys will, but I do hope that at least for some people whom it might be a new perspective or new information to, you’ll consider asking why is it that in a fandom that prominently features a canon male survivor whose survivorhood is so frequently denoted as a key and critical part of his character....someone like me, who is frequently cited as a resource on many, many other kinds of meta about Dick Grayson......seems to have more people interested in discouraging me from ever expounding on my own experiences in this matter and any correlations I see between those and Dick’s experiences and narratives, than there are people interested in like......utilizing me as the freaking resource on male survivor experiences and viewpoints that I’ve literally been out here offering to be from day one....specifically BECAUSE of how rarely men are viewed as coming forward and being open about our shit here.

*Shrugs*

Just food for thought.