#i love this picture more than i love myself now THIS is my profile pic on telegram

[ryuttaeng]

pairing: perv!lia x fem!reader

summary: you decided to stay for a sleepover with yeji and her friend. you still have to introduce yourself to her and get to know her…

contents/warnings: suggestive, minors dni. dirty talk, pet names, swearing/cursing, please do not read if sensitive/uncomfortable with such themes!

genres: suggestive

a/n: it’s a fanfic swap between me myself and i and @writers-gf 🥳

lia felt heat pool between her legs as her friend’s friend smiled at her. yeji showed lia pics with her and her friend before, but she never thought you would look more pretty and more attractive in real life rather than on a selfie.

“jisu, it’s y/n, i showed her to you before. y/n, it’s jisu, she also goes by lia and i told you about her too.” yeji introduced you both, as lia looked down at you and she shook your hand. “it’s a pleasure to meet you, y/n.” she said, as her gaze stopped on your cleavage for a few seconds.

speaking of which, lia had to quickly change topic to other when yeji would bring up you in her stories and show pics of her and you together. it’s not that she was jealous, it’s just the angle that yeji decided to take photos with. sometimes it was just the angle of the photo that made reveal your cleavage or it was your clothes pick that day, but it always made lia to get off to your pictures with yeji, wishing it was her to spend time with you.

“…lia…jisu!” lia slightly jumped at the sudden voice near her ear, making her look at the person that called her. yeji crossed her arms as she gave her knowing look. “what?” lia blinked several times before she could notice yeji’s look on her. “it’s pretty obvious that you like her.” yeji pointed at you, while you were away on the kitchen. “i’m not-“ “it’s actually pretty obvious that you want to sleep with her. and by sleep i don’t mean-“

you returned from the kitchen right on the moment when lia placed her hand to shut yeji, making them look at you as you looked at them in confusion. “…okay.” you said, as you sat down between yeji and lia.

it was unbearable to keep her hands in place when your thighs were revealed. lia barely even remember the film’s title as she kept her eyes on your body. misplacing her hands, leaning on your shoulder to get a better look on your cleavage, everything lia could think of.

the next 30 minutes lia would accidentally bump into you, and usually with her back pressing to your chest. she would also occasionally hold your waist and apologise for being too ‘clumsy’ today.

you opened your eyes to the feeling of someone laying down near you. you turned to look, if it was yeji or lia and you found last one looking at you. “lia? what are you doing here?” you asked, as lia’s eyes trailed down your body. “yeji kicks me in her sleep and you know, it’s not the most cutest thing to be used to.” indeed, yeji would accidentally kick you in her sleep. you nodded, turning back to finally get some rest.

lia slowly moved closer to you, but now pressing her chest to your back. her hands slowly moving upward as she tried not to squirm much. “lia, what are you doing…” you whispered as her second hand got lower. “the night doesn’t have to end here, you know.” lia whispered back, as her movements got intense.

saying that lia wasn’t hot attractive would be a lie. actually, yeji showed you some her pictures and maybe her profile on instagram randomly popped up in your feed and you’re definitely just occasionally checked her posts.

as lia’s hand cupped your breast, her other hand was already under your shorts. you squirmed under her touch, making her to remove her hands. “really couldn’t keep my hands off you, will work on that.” lia almost removed her hands, but you stopped her. “no! i like when your hands are on me… i love it actually.” you said, keeping her hands in place.

you could sense lia’s grin behind your back. “oh, do you now?” you exhaled when lia put her hands back, but not moving them. “tell me how it makes you feel like.” lia said, her hot breath on your neck. you squirmed, feeling heat pool between her legs at her raspy voice. “it makes me feel your girl.” you whispered, holding back your moan as lia’s hand on your breast slipped under your top.

“you are my fucking girl.” lia whispered, and was about to kiss you when the door to the room opened.

“lia why are you here?” yeji asked younger girl, as you two immediately parted away from ourselves. lia let out a groan, standing up from the bed. “unnie, you’re kicking me in your sleep…” she replied, following yeji back to their room, as lia turned to you and winked.

[silasoctakiseron]

hey hey! for the character thing Silas!

Putting @goodmorningnona's request here also!

favorite thing about them

[visibly sweating] I like .... . . him ... . . That being said I truly love what a world-class hater he is. He had an absolutely paint-peelingly nasty insult in the chamber for every single person he ever encountered in his entire life. They're not quoting Lamentations to bitches to remind them how faithless and lost they are anymore!!! They're not hitting bitches with five synonyms in a row about them being an orphaned indentured serf anymore!!! They're not randomly calling bitches incomplete inbreds and insinuating they're fucking their cousins anymore!!! He had bitches so fucking pressed that Magnus Quinn (MAGNUS QUINN!!!) was openly pleased to hear that he appeared to have committed suicide. WORLD CHAMPION HATER!!!!!!!!!!!

least favorite thing about them

His treatment of Colum, to everyone's shock. Stop doing that shit before I get in that book and beat your ass sir. You ungrateful little fuck.

favorite line

I can literally recite half the shit he says from memory but it's this one and it's not even a contest. It makes me CRAZY IN MY FUCKING BRAIN “I understand fallibility … and fallibility is a terrible thing to understand. I understand that if the Emperor and King Undying came to me now and asked me why I was not a Lyctor, I would fall on my knees and beg his forgiveness, that any of us had ever failed this test. May I be burnt one atom at a time in the most silent hole in the most lightless part of space, Lord—Kindly Prince—should I ever contemplate betraying the compact you appointed between him, and you, and me.”

brOTP

Colum is the closest thing to a "bro" this guy has ever had or ever will have lmfao. I would like to see them in AtN and I would like to see their relationship repaired via Silas grovelling on his knees for forgiveness and ugly-crying like a bitch after like having to fight his way tooth and nail through hell to find his soul. It's what Colum deserves.

OTP

Tamsyn Muir created the most profoundly unshippable twink ever invented with this guy. Who is going near him in a romantic context. If you tried to come on to him it would take him a full fifteen minutes to understand what you were trying to imply and then he would turn around and flee into the woods at top speed like a plastic bag on the wind.

nOTP

It really says something about the kind of person he is that I'm more emphatically opposed to him being shipped with literally any one of his peers than I am to him being shipped with his nephew. Like that's not for me but at least there's even the remotest textual basis for it. If you ship him with literally any of the other Canaan House kids I will tuck my knees into my belly and simply roll away. I saw him shipped with Isaac once as a side ship and almost ritually killed myself. He does not like people his age and they don't like him either.

random headcanon

Please Pull Up A Chair. Anyway I hc that in spite of how much he runs his mouth he has a weird thing about his voice that specifically relates to like, other people being aware he's gone through puberty and the associated potential for accidental self-defilement that connotes. He's like I have never been some kind of disgusting horny teenager but obviously everyone in this room thinks I am now. Perfect. Great. I love it here. He would have grown out of this had he lived past the age of 16.

unpopular opinion

I'm the enjoyer

song i associate with them

FAITHFUL SERVANT FRIEND OF CHRIST - Lingua Ignota

favorite picture of them

My profile pic which my wife commissioned for me >:)

[nilesabbott]

If you feel it, chase it! 😁🌪️

Some leftovers from yesterday.

The outfit works even without the hat. Plus I look more androgynous than I thought 😅 That's why I used the one pic as profile picture.

And at all: I love the outfit. After loosing so much weight, I had the awesome opportunity to become ... myself 😅 But to become me, I had to find me. And as I said already a few times: I discover myself every day new. Sometimes it's depressing, sometimes it's absolutely amazing.

And that includes style and fashion. I try a lot and there is a lot I like. But at the end, there are a few styles on which I settle in, since I feel that they suit me perfectly and I feel extremely good and confident in it. That's mostly the (how I always call it) discount Ville Valo look 😅 And now, the southern gothic style entered my closet also. I like the goth and yet "country" feel of it. It's rough and yet elegant. And ... I look fantastic in it 😁

[elgaladwen]

Naturally since I'm at work, I'm thinking too much about what costumes to wear for Sakura Con in March. I'm definitely being Clorinde from Genshin as part of a group. I've still never played, but the other Genshin cosplayers are amazing, and it's fun to join. (And I mean, I haven't seen a costume from that game I don't love)

I used to go crazy and bring like six different costumes, but since I'm not going to stay nearby in a hotel this year, I'll calm down a bit and just have two or three. So I'm thinking Human Luna, or Dark Lady from Sailor Moon for the other(s).

I definitely want to do something from Baldur's Gate 3 soon too, but I just know myself, and that I won't have it ready by the convention. Definitely by PAX West though! (Still thinking Jaheira, but it's hard to decide!)

It's been really hard getting back into cosplay too, because I've gained a lot of weight, especially in my face, and it's been almost twenty years since I started, so I don't look or feel as young as I used to, which makes me pretty much hate looking at myself in any picture or costume. Like thankfully the one on my profile pic has a mask that I can hide under, so I like that one! But hey, just have to make sure I take a lot of Myspace angle pictures!

I've also been prioritizing playing games more than making costumes these last few years, which makes it so I buy more stuff, or don't spend as much time crafting, sewing, and otherwise honing my skills. But I used to be hyperfixated on cosplay, and now it's LOTRO RP and certain OCs, so I guess I have to do what my brain wants! (But I can do other stuff as a treat)

[lunaprincipessa]

ENTRY 205

Part One (Continued on 206)

From January on, I've been in an emotional whirlwind as I've learned more about Peter Steele. I've been blogging about it lightly here on Tumblr.

First, the fun stuff.

❎ Entry 169 - Meme

❎ Entry 175 and 181 - Pics

❎ Entry 194 - Fan Art

❎ Entry 204 - Type O Eyeshadow

❎ Entry 208 - Meme

❎ Entry 214 - Intro w/ Singers

❎ Entry 222 - Introducing Myself to Both of Carnivore's Albums

❎ Entry 250 - October Rust Mentioned

❎ Entry 264 - Pete Loved His Fans

❎ Entry 307 - Gifs of Steele

Then, the others.

❎ Entry 74 - Learning for the first time about who he was as a person after research inspired by comments from fellow fans.

❎ Entry 170 - Experiencing the first death anniversary since having a better understanding of who he was as a person.

The fun stuff is pretty much just a vague, visual representation of my middle-aged self rediscovering Peter Steele, seeing him in a new light, and appreciating him in different ways than I did before. The others are a light walk through of what I started seeing and how I started reacting. There was so much I didn't know. And once I thought I got the jist of it, there was more.

Entry 74, I see comments on Instagram prior to deleting my profile, accusing his last gf of negligence. Seriously disturbed due to the shock of it from the lack of knowledge, I tried looking it up to see if it was true. Couldn't find any info on that but found lots of info on Peter himself.

This is when I found out Peter Steele was the full package. Men that have beautiful faces like that often accompany them with cruel tongues and empty minds. Not Peter.

Intelligent, wise, kind, and humble to name a few. The full package. Making him one of the most gorgeous men to ever exist. A rare find indeed. Combine that with his voice, talent, style, and presence, and you'll soon see why women everywhere would fall to their knees in love and lust for him.

Unfortunately, that full package came alongside an ample amount of heartbreak.

It bothered me to my core to think about a man like Peter suffering so much at the hands of any toxic women he may have given his heart to in the wake of everything.

I took temporary comfort in assuming he was surrounded by friends that would help lift him up if ever he was down, especially his band mates whom I heard he grew up with. I assumed, and life continued on as normal for a time.

The 14-year death anniversary rolls around and as I said in Entry 170, I'm feeling it more than ever before because now, I have a better understanding of who died, making his loss that much more deeper and tragic.

Not only was a kind heart lost, but a pure soul that suffered greatly, making the pain of the anniversary rival even the death itself.

You see, I'm heavily reliant on what I hear, read, and watch because of the obvious fact that I didn't know Peter Steele personally and I wasn't there when certain things were taking place.

I learned more about him and started to favor him above all other singers, including Trent Reznor who I've worshipped since the teen days. I started looking up more pics and performances (eventually inspiring a blog consisting of nothing but pictures of Peter, telling myself to stop lol).

All bittersweet and intriguing but then, a recent article and an older vid that I ended up coming across paved the way for that dreadful feeling at the beginning of the year to return.

This is why I said earlier that I took "temporary comfort." But at that time, I didn't know it was temporary and I didn't know what else was about to cross my path.

My heart broke for him all over again. I'm suddenly reminded of those scary pictures circulating on Facebook with a caption that reads, "the longer you stare at it, the worse it gets."

I'll start with the article, which was released on May 6th of this year (2024), featuring an interview with Sal Abruscato, Type O Negative's original drummer. Word for word, this is what he said and mind you, I'm reading this for the first time while still learning about Peter.

"He was a good guy. He was a sweet guy. He had a good heart. At the end of the day, he had a good heart, but he was also very vulnerable. He was vulnerable. He knew deep down inside becoming successful was gonna be his demise, because I'll tell you, one thing I did see from being on the outside of Type O Negative, watching the deterioration that happened over the years, people used him. He was a nice guy, he was generous, they fucking used him. And everybody was using him, even his own band members were using him, because he was a workhorse. And everybody tried the best they could. He had a very bad problem, and I know everybody tried the best they could, but it was too little too late."

That wasn't easy to read. Neither was the next part. 💔

"I remember talking to him literally two weeks before he passed, and he told me that all he had left was $3,500 bucks to his name. So he died basically in Pennsylvania alone, in a way. Yeah, he had his girlfriend, yeah, whatever, but all the way out there. Everybody dissipated when the drugs were over, 'cause he had to be sober and clean. He was clean for nine months when he died. And when he told me that, it was like... And he told me people that I'll never name. He told me that he lent money to people, that people never paid him back because he had a good heart. Friends took advantage of him. And it's a shame that it ended like that for him. Had he maybe went to the doctor's on a regular basis too, maybe he could have... But again, the damage was done. But that was the side of Pete was that he was a good guy and a prophetic artist, a prophetic lyricist. Had a vision that went three steps ahead of everyone else. A brilliant guy, very smart, very smart guy in a lot of different ways. Not like 'doctor book smart,' but smart in other ways, artistically and the way he saw things. He was very intelligent."

Vulnerability; pain and love can do that to a person. The thought of this gentle giant who was generous and a hard worker being surrounded by snakes literally makes my stomach turn. "They used him," it said.

"Deterioration that happened over the years," oh my heart. Is that part of the reason why he deteriorated? Were people just taking pieces of him until there was nothing left to take? I despise the thought of the people he was counting on attempting to drain him. Imagine if his millions of fans knew he was being hurt. There would've been an unholy uprising. His fans love him.

I want to ask if Peter Steele would've been around the right people, would success still have been his demise? If he was surrounded by protectors and healers, would the outcome have been the same? I said it in my 74th blog about Peter when I first started learning about him. Men like this, regardless of how big and tall and strong they are, need to be protected. Their bodies are hard but their hearts are fragile.

The creator of something timeless, original, and legendary had $3,500.00 left to his name. Simply criminal after everything Peter had created throughout the course of his career. I was wondering about his income though. I saw a brief home vid of him and one of his cats and I couldn't help but notice his surroundings. It wasn't what I assumed. It just didn't look like a place where an accomplished and famous singer and musician should be living. I was unknowingly soon to get detail on that.

I saw another quick vid of him talking about building a nice, big house in a beautiful wooded area a while back. I looked it up given the home vid I just saw, "that can't be the place he wanted to build." Come to find out he lived in a duplex before he died and that $3,500 would not have afforded the house he wanted to build.

I saw it when I googled where he lived before passing. I thought the entire house was his at first sight and then my jaw dropped to the floor when I read that he lived "on the right side." Peter deserved a monstrous Victorian mansion with beautiful gothic interior, with millions more in the bank to build and decorate with. Criminal and unfair to say the very least.

Aside from this article, I read that Peter was a little awkward growing up, as was I. You grow up knowing friends are often hard to come by. It probably felt good to him in adulthood to be around people and to form connections and to do good things for them, but some of those people were the wrong ones to be that kind of person with.

I can't imagine how disappointed and heartbroken he must've felt finding out many of those people were merely around for drugs and money. Just more loss and abandonment for a good heart and a pure soul. He deserved better.

Sal called him a "prophetic lyricist." Prophetic! In considering the meaning of that word, it makes the lyrics, "life is killing me" gut-wrenchingly sad.

"The way he saw things," that statement was regarding his creativity and intelligence but how did he see his life? How dark were things for him? And the million dollar question, was Peter Steele safe anywhere?

Sal said even his band mates took advantage of him. I wondered about the dynamic between them and Sal. I also wondered if perhaps that's why his last gf didn't want them talking to him before he passed. Although, I did continue to wonder if people were still accusing her of neglecting Peter. There's a lot to wonder and there's a lot of angles to wonder from too.

Wonder, wondered, wondering; it's all speculation. I wasn't there. Lots of questions are gonna accompany me to my grave, unanswered, and I better make my peace with that asap but it's hard. Not like it would change anything, but I still want to know what happened to this man and who was around him.

Who truly had his best interest at heart? Anybody? That's something else I may wonder forever. Who was fighting for him? Who was fighting for his health? Who was fighting for his life?

The whole process did leave me a little suspicious that perhaps nearly everyone around him dropped the ball at some point, in some form or fashion, maybe even when he needed them the most.

People obviously wanted things from him, but who wanted him? Who wanted him to be well? Who cared for him outside of the celebrity? Who cared for him as Peter and not the singer of Type O Negative?

I mentioned the older vid alongside the article I just responded to, but I think I'm gonna break this up into two parts because this already turned out to be quite lengthy.

All in all, his story is weighing on me and I cannot believe that I've loved his music for so long but never knew any of this, and I mean any of it. I just never knew.

And finding this out for the first time makes me wish in such a childish way that either I, or the army of his fans could just somehow go back in time and scoop him up, getting him to safety but as Sal said, "too little too late." He's gone. Still here through music and memory but physically gone, and we can never get him back to fix things for him.

He would be 62 years old if he were alive today. And if he were, I would hope he would have everything his heart could ever desire, especially true love, reverence, happiness, and inner peace.

Eating healthy and staying sober to keep himself going, maybe even a solo project so he could call the shots and have a schedule he's comfortable with. He could hire people that respect him, that will listen to him.

He might've even started a family with a good woman who loves him outside of the celebrity and will take good care of him and his children. That's what I would've advocated for, but who knows.

We can all daydream on what might have been out of desperation for comfort and solace. Comfort and solace from a grueling reality that none of us can change no matter how badly we miss him.

If it was that hard to read about, I couldn't imagine what it was like to go through.

For what it's worth, I'm so sorry Peter. RIP

Part Two and more thoughts later.

[jungshookz]

Hey Cee, I don't think I ever thought I'd ask for advice like this. But I genuinely just want to know what your take or anyone who reads this thinks about my situation?

I have a guy friend I had met on a dating site. Originally not intending to be friends, but ended up just being friends because he thought of me only as that. However, before he had come out of left field with that statement, I had thought what we had going on was flirting? Talking every day, even still, sending each other funny reels and going to museums or cute fun places together. Meeting up and just talking or taking a walk together, yknow.

And I guess because he had stated he doesn't see me as anything more than just a friend already, I wasn't letting myself get my hopes up. He drew the line, and I was okay with it, im still okay with it, because i genuinely value him as a friend, and i love talking and meeting up with him.

But I've gotten attached? Maybe it's because I never got to even tell him I like him before he went and told me how he only sees me as a friend. And after all this time, I've come to like him more and more? And as sad as it sounds, a small part of me wants to think it would be possible he'd like me or eventually come to like me after so long?

But recently, he asked me to help him take pictures for his dating profile. And like a good supportive friend, I said I'd help. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for helping him, but I suddenly thought about smitten y/n and how she went above and beyond to help JK with his date despite having huge crush on him herself, doing it to be supportive and seeing him happy. Going to get the flowers and then florist Yoongi asking her "why are you doing this? What do you get out of this?"

And then I had to take a step back and really ask myself, what AM I doing?? Ngl, it kinda stung seeing that he'd ask me to take pics for him to update his dating profile cause he wants to get back onto dating and finding someone. Cause after so long, I thought maybe he hasn't gotten back into it because we've been talking and going to do stuff together? Maybe I'm being delusional or hopeful. Realistically, I know I don't have a chance. I never did. But it felt like i might have had a possibility after so long?

I guess after that entire spiel, my question is, should I continue on as we are and take those pictures, be genuinely supportive friend, and learn to move on sooner or later? Or idk, what other options do I really have?

I don't want to ruin this friendship, what we have going on right now, by telling him I like him. Cause I know what the answer would be, and it would hurt even more to lose him as someone to talk and hang out with. But it kinda stings knowing I was never an option to him romantically.

I guess it's also because recently im starting to feel like I'm lacking to be appealing or attractive to guys. I'm only ever seen as friend material and not dating material.

Thank you so much for reading this. I just felt like I needed to rant and get some outside opinions.

hi! i’m happy to help as best as i can but don’t feel pressured at all to listen to me or anyone else, do what you’re comfortable with doing!! also my answer might be a little all over the place because i have so much to say and i feel like i need to get it all out before it disappears from my brain so here we go ALSO reading over this there is some tough love in here but i feel like everyone needs tough love every now and then and also everything i’m saying here is coming from a place of genuine love and care :-)) i’m a sagittarius we r blunt people whoops 

some guys have extra firm tofu level dense brains and don’t interpret what you’re doing together the same way that we’d interpret it — the sending each other memes, going to places together, etc — if you asked them they’d just be like yea i sent you that meme because i thought it was funny and also we went to the park together because it was nice out and i like the park?? 

i know you said you’re okay with being friends but are you really okay with it? because i don’t think you’d still be pining after him if you were really okay with it!! it’s okay to NOT be okay with it, don’t force yourself to try to feel another way just so you can justify continuing to be friends with him — holding onto the hope that one day he’ll come around and like you back is not a healthy way to deal with your feelings

with that being said, we can’t rule out the possibility that maybe one day he’ll change his mind and see you in a romantic light, but we have to take the situation as it is in current time. right now, he’s made it clear that he sees you as a friend and that the relationship is platonic. right now, he has asked you to take pictures of him for a dating app. right now, i assume he is on the dating app talking to other people. you can be hopeful, but you also have to be realistic. 

smitten!y/n did go above and beyond for jungkook! she did all of that for a man who didn’t see her in a romantic light and was literally on a date with another woman. and yoongi was so right in grilling y/n with those questions because really, truly, WHY would she do something like that for jungkook knowing that she’d get nothing in return? why is she hurting herself just so she can stay close to him?

of course it would be sad to lose him as someone to talk and hang out with, but talking and hanging out with him when you like him romantically and the feeling isn’t mutual is guaranteed going to be an even more horrible feeling. and it’s only going to get worse if he started dating someone and you still had feelings for him

at the end of the day it’s really up to you whether you’d like to continue being in this friendship or not. i can’t tell you what to do, your friends and family can’t tell you what to do — the only person you can listen to is yourself. that’s one thing that i learned from my relationship — even though everyone around me was telling me to do this and that, ultimately i had to listen to myself and do what i felt was right. 

this is your life and i am simply a person on the internet, but this situation is one that i’ve faced before and i promise you that there is someone out there who’s going to be more than happy to go on walks with you and send memes to you because they’re romantically interested in you! i know it’s hard to believe but at one point even i thought that i was just unattractive and unloveable and that no one was going to date me but i am a firm believer that the universe will start to work its magic once you come to a place where you’re happy with yourself <3 it’s tough work but it’s so worth it, i’m not there yet either but i hope you find comfort in knowing that i’m right here working on myself alongside you!! 

[cryptidsurveys]

Saturday, July 6th, 2024.

Do you eat or drink as soon as you wake up, or do you wait a while? I chug a bottle of water directly after waking up. If it's an animal shelter day, then I shower and get ready before making breakfast. If I'm staying home, then I might lie in bed for a while, listen to YouTube, then eventually get up, brush my teeth and all that jazz, then eat.

Tell me about some of your interests. Art, history, outer space, sci-fi, the paranormal, cryptids, conspiracies, philosophy, reading, spending time in nature.

What's your favourite kind of Oreo? Hmm…maybe golden, pumpkin spice, or red velvet.

Do you play any games on your phone? If so, tell me about one. I don't.

Do you have more male or female coworkers? I don't have a "real job," but I do volunteer at an animal shelter. I have almost exclusively female coworkers. There's literally only one male who works there, and I think he's been there the longest out of everyone - like 22 years!

What's the longest stretch of time you've spent completely alone? About a month, while my dad was in the hospital/rehabilitation center after his heart surgery back in 2019.

Do you use Instagram? If so, what's your current profile pic? Yeah. It's just a picture of myself.

What are your thoughts on kids being given iPads to keep them entertained? I think it's okay in moderation, but it shouldn't be a child's sole source of entertainment. This might just be my nostalgia taking over, but I'm truly grateful that I grew up during a time when life wasn't dominated by screens. Sure, I watched cartoons and played video games, but I spent so much time outside, with friends, reading, exploring, creating, or just within my own imagination. I couldn't imagine being a kid today.

[TW: SUICIDE] Have you ever thought about giving up on life completely? Yeah.

Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? I have.

Do you still have both of your parents? Yes. I reconnected/reconciled with my mom last summer after nearly a decade of being estranged, and my dad and I continue to have a strong bond.

Do you play video games? No.

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? They're similar, but not exactly the same.

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? No.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? No.

When was the last time you went bowling? Not since I was a teen.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? I'm transgender. I don't think I know anyone in person (not that I'm aware of, anyway), but I know a couple of people online.

When was the last time you spent over $100 in one transaction? What did you buy? Last Wednesday. Groceries, toiletries, and cat stuff.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Would you judge a grown adult for doing so? I don't, but I wouldn't judge anyone for doing so.

Would you describe yourself as fashion-conscious, or do you just wear whatever feels comfortable? I just wear whatever feels comfortable. I'm definitely not a fashionable person and never really have been. I mean, I had some sort of ~style~ in the past, but now I'm like…whatever.

What are the main two colours in the room you’re currently in? Did you pick these colours out yourself? White (walls) and teal (carpets). I didn't pick them.

Do you have piercings anywhere except your ears? How many and where? Snakebites.

What’s your opinion on leggings as pants? I prefer baggy pants, but when it comes to other people, wear whatever you want.

Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? An ex.

Do you have a secret life? No. However, I am extremely guarded/private IRL and don't like to let people in much more than necessary. I've been back at the animal shelter for over a year now and people really only know the superficial basics.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt? Yeah.

Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you? No, but my dad does know a whole hell of a lot.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Oatmeal.

If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be? I don't want any new piercings.

The last time you held a baby: I have no idea.

Does your mom eat meat? Yeah.

What would be your reaction if one of your parents said they were having another kid? No…? You're not…?

What fish scares you the most? Sharks, I guess...? Not that I have much to fear from them considering I live in Colorado.

How do you feel about snails? They're cute.

If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? I would be fine with that. I don't want children anyway.

Are you physically affectionate with your friends? No.

Do you kill spiders when you see them? 95% of the time, no. I just let them do their thing.

What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? N/a.

What fictional creature would you like as a pet? I can't think of anything.

Have any local businesses closed that you’re sad about? The City Diner closed a few years ago and that was kind of a bummer.

How do you feel about TikTok? I don't use it.

Any current trends you dislike? Not really. I don't pay much attention to what's currently trendy. Plus, my city is like 20 years behind the times as it is, so most popular trends don't surface here in any meaningful way. Not among my relatively small social group, anyway.

If you had three daughters, what would you name them? N/a.

Would you ever adopt a child? No.

Do you like your name's meaning? Yeah.

Do you and your mom look like sisters? No. I mean, we do share similarities and you could probably tell that we're related, but it's clear that we aren't siblings.

Are you the same height as your mom? No. She's at least a couple of inches taller than I am.

Do you know anyone named Travis? I don't.

[TW: DOMESTIC ABUSE] Did your parents abuse you? Hmm.

What is something you've learned to never take for granted? My own health and the health of my loved ones (including my cats), days without migraines, stability, a working swamp cooler, having a safe place to live, food to eat, etc.

Tell me about something significant that happened to you in the past week. I can't think of anything especially significant. It's been slightly hectic due to one coworker leaving + a new coworker being hired at the shelter (well, technically she's not brand new because she worked there last summer, but you know), but other than that, nothing of note has happened. It's just an adjustment to the new vibes, is all.

What subjects do you like to read about? Backpacking journals, the paranormal (not like fictional stories, but an assessment of the phenomenon), sci-fi, fantasy, horror, history, etc.

What is the name of the last book you bought? I think it was the Dune series.

If you could change one thing about your home, and money was no issue, what would it be? New carpets (or maybe switch to some sort of hardwood flooring), fresh paint, renovate the upstairs bathroom and kitchen…and that's basically it.

Are there any (obviously fictional) villains you can't help but love? I wouldn't say there are any that I love, but sometimes I can…not necessarily empathize/sympathize (although there are times when I definitely can do that), but I can see why they turned out the way they did. OH WAIT. How did I completely space my past obsession with Vegeta (DBZ)? Or Bakura/Marik (YGO) and Mitarai Kiyoshi (YYH)? Mitarai wasn't even really a "villain," though...just highly misguided and in need of some serious therapy, lmao.

Can you name a villain who you could kind of side with? No. Like I said above, I might empathize or see why they came to a particular conclusion, but that doesn't mean I'd want to join them.

What color eyes does your significant other (or crush) have? (If applicable.) N/a.

Does anything around your home need repairing? Yeah.

[adultingunscriptedblog]

Date Debacles & Discoveries

Swipe Right Fail: The Time I Found Myself in Never Have I Ever Hell (with Garlic Bread)

The world of online dating, where swipes reign supreme, bios are battlegrounds, and first impressions often involve questionable bathroom selfies. Brace yourselves, for a tale of epic dating app proportions—a symphony of cringe so potent it could score a horror film. Welcome to the saga of Swipe Right Fail.

It all began with a match, let's call him "Garlic Bread Bandit" (more on that later). His profile pic showed promise—decent lighting, no shirtless bathroom mirror selfies, bonus points for an actual dog. We exchanged messages, chuckled at his terrible puns (okay, maybe I laughed once), and agreed to meet for dinner. But the red flags were revealed the moment he pulled up in a beat-up sedan resembling a science project gone wrong. My hopes, like the faded paint job on his car, began to wither. His attire? Picture discount Rick Ross cosplay gone wrong. And his energy? Well, let's just say a lobotomized sloth exudes more vibrancy.

Inside the dimly lit bar, the atmosphere matched the flatness of the beer he ordered. Conversation crawled along like molasses in January, interrupted by awkward silences and the discomfort of sitting on the same side of the booth.

Then came the pièce de résistance: the garlic bread incident. My garlic bread appetizer, the sole food item I dared to order, apparently offended his financial sensibilities. "Too expensive," he huffed, his words dripping with the gravitas of a man who considers ketchup a gourmet condiment. In his world, sustenance is a luxury, not a necessity—though he himself ordered a full 16” pepperoni pizza, spaghetti with meatballs, and 3 cocktails (before you ask, no he wasn't sharing).

Things took a turn for the truly bizarre when he decided to break the ice with a rousing game of Never Have I Ever. Now, I'm all for a little playful banter, but the questions this guy was throwing out were straight out of a Kama Sutra audition. My "nevers" far outnumbered my "evers," and my cheeks burned hotter than the vodka sodas I was downing in rapid succession to numb myself from the date.

By this point, my vodka sodas were doing the heavy lifting in the "keeping me sane" department. But even its powers couldn't resurrect this date from the ashes of awkwardness. I knew this date was a sinking ship, and I wasn't about to go down with it. With a polite smile and a steely glint in my eye, I dropped the "this isn't working" bomb. Now, I'm not a fan of ghosting, but in this case, I made an exception. Leaving him with a confused expression and an untouched plate of pepperoni pizza, I ran out of the bar, garlic bread woes and all.

Here's the thing, dating is a gamble. There will be duds, there will be disasters, and there will be moments that make you question your sanity (and your choice of appetizers). The silver lining here is that these experiences, however cringe-worthy, teach us valuable lessons. So, what did I learn from this nightmare? Firstly, garlic bread is a surprisingly good test for compatibility. Secondly, never underestimate the power of a well-placed exit line.

No but seriously there are some take aways:

Lesson 1: Set Boundaries, my friends, like bouncers at the velvet rope of your sanity! Don't be afraid to walk away from a situation that doesn't feel right. Your time and energy are precious, and no amount of garlic bread (or vodka) is worth sacrificing them for a bad date.

Lesson 2: Laugh at the absurdity. Seriously, sometimes the only way to cope with dating app disasters is to find the humor in them. Share your stories with your friends, write a blog post (ahem - we do take submissions), and let the laughter wash away the awkwardness.

Lesson 3: Ghosting is an art form. If you must disappear, do it with finesse. A simple, "I didn't feel a connection" message goes a long way. Remember, karma is a garlic bread-loving boomerang, and you never know when you might need a date to appreciate your culinary choices (and questionable humor).

Lesson 4: Embrace the weird, the wonderful, and the downright bizarre. And remember, even the worst dates can offer valuable lessons (and maybe a good laugh).

So, keep swiping, keep hoping, and keep your sense of humor close. There's always a story to tell, a lesson to learn, and a plate of garlic bread to console you. Laughter is the best accessory, and remember, you're not stuck with someone who thinks Never Have I Ever is an appropriate icebreaker. Cheers to surviving the swipe right wars, one awkward encounter at a time!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a warm baguette and a box of Kraft mac and cheese.

/ Winging it, but still making it.

P.S. To Mr. Never Have I Ever, if you happen to stumble upon this and recognize yourself, know that your garlic bread price criticisms will forever be etched in my memory, along with the questionable stains on your car seat.

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

Could I ask for a fluff headcanon with Damiano but witha S/O who has the complete opposite aesthetic? (Sorry my english is not well I'll try explaining myaelf) but like the S/O wears fluffy dresses, frills, bows, soft pastel color, pinks (it's kinda my aesthetic, I hope you understood what I meant, love you!❤)

𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐦

a/n: that was one of my favourite requests >:) i'm a softie too myself, so my canons are my imaginary in a large measure. enjoy loves !!

you know that picture when the loli girl and darth vader give tips for each other in front of the pink atm? or when the most metal-head guy and the white-laced girl sits beside each other, eating ice-cream?

ladies and gentlemen, i just let you know that that's basically the two of you

when it comes out that the two of you are dating, you kept your instagram profile locked down, so nobody knows who you are, just from the bio and profile pic, but that's not everything (and the måneskin's and others's stories). so, everybody is freakin' curious about you !!

damiano steps before you in the crowd at the airport, or cross the hall in the hotel, the fans and cameramen expects the typic rocker-girl with black, smokey makeup, smudged, chrome lipstick, two-toned hair, chains everywhere on your body and platform boots–

but then here you are, all in your adorableness, laces and manifold skirts, pastell colors, white and silky long slveed blouses, and they're just... like, who's that girl? the manager? or just his sister, who clearly hates him

but when damiano holds your hand and kisses the crown of your hair, every flashlight begins to flicker like a bomb in the night. if you're uncomfortable with the lights, or the journalists, or just with the whole situation, damiano just strokes your face, keeping you close to him to keep you away from everything that can make you uncomfortable

now, thanks to you, the soft, ethereal styled people joins the fandom too, some fans even try to cross the two style, creating extravagant, but unique pieces –you even highlight the best works into your story, getting closer to the fans, and they're just adore you because of your immediacy.

but now, speak about just the two of you (you know, the spicy stuff uwu)

you can be shy, but i think the shy girls can be really horny, the only difference is that they're on the other side –the secret side, you know ¬‿¬

lacey outfits means that everything can be frilly and flowery –your skirts, blouses, bras and panties... did i mention that men can be turned on from intimation more than too much revelaing stuff? because yeah, damiano's head over heels for you when you wear that lace nightgown (we soft people all have and imaginary lacy nightgown that we could wear but we don't have, don't we? >3<)

he likes to stroke the nightgown and then your skin at night, saying stuff like "i can't decide which fabric is softer, love"

at one point, when you decide to try out new things, you sit beside him when his band take a break during rehearsal, you hold onto his arm as damiano scrolls through instagram, asnwering questions. lucky for you, a question is about "how doesn't get y/n bothered with that much layer? doesn't she get too hot?" "look honey, here's a questions for you" he says, but instead of grabbing his phone, you lean into his ear and whisper him a thing like "if i'm not weraing anything under those layers, i can't be too irritated, don't i? and... a dress can't make a girl hot, but her really hot boyfriend can."

he tosses his phone aside, pulling you into his lap, running his hands up on your thighs, ridding up your skirts bit by bit more, you try grab his hand, but instead of stopping, he kisses you roughly

"you spoiled my answer-session, baby, do you know how difficult is to reply to my fans with you around?"

yeah, soft ones can be perky ones too | ू•ૅω•́)

and i headcanon that that he would help to button up your blouse (ask him too if you want to button down, dam would do it much more gladly i swear （＞ ་། ＜)), or making your hair with a bow, stroking your face.

mystories, mystories, mystories !! i mean, social media au canon, but after your relationship is revealed, and your personality too, he would take pictures when the two of you go out to an antique store in the actual city, or when you set up a little picnic with him/and the other members.

vic and you are simply best friends, tiktoks and short videos about the two of you, holding hands, jumping up and down in a circle like too happy anime girls (is it too happy or am i just too positive today hkdshf)

you drag damiano, vic, ethan and thomas to watch some soft movies with you, like dead poets society or howl's moving castle, and when you come back with the sweets and elder-juice, you see the four rocker staring intently on the screen, watching as sophie and howl dance.

it turns out that it's much more better than anyone thought ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

[gh0stbunnywriter]

✦ Fanfiction (Ao3) ✦ Ficlets (Tumblr) ✦ Fanart ✦ All Chapter Updates and Fanfic Talk ✦ Request Guide and Rules ✦ Ask or Request ✦

hey! i'm gh0stbunny, and i write funny little fanfics and draw my funny little pictures and put them on the internet for all the funny little gays like me.

who am i, you may very well (or not) ask? look under the cut, ghoulie.

i'm bunny, or ghost, if you're feeling funky. i'm in my twenties and very queer. they/them pronouns for me are cool! i have a full time job and two dogs, bpd, depression, and i love strawberry flavored things. you know those creme saver things? mmmmmmmM delish

i post more stuff about myself randomly in my tags if it's relevant, or if you ask me more personally i may tell you but i don't plan on posting much more than that on the internet. it's,,, the fucking internet, and i write s m u t.

speaking of writing, i post exclusively on archive of our own and smaller things, like blurbs, will be posted on my tumblr. reposting policy::: please don't take my shit and post it on other sites like wattpad etc, and if you see anything i wrote reposted please tell me! that said, i have no idea how to get my work out there so reblog, share the link, show your friends in the group chat, put it on the fridge, whatever you wanna do. as long as it's not a copy paste repost, i'm cool with that.

the tag to block if you dont want to hear me talk about dumb shit in my daily life is going to be 'bunny speaks'. i'm multifandom (heavily stranger things and adjacent right now but that may change) and i'm multi ship! i don't care what you ship or headcanon as long as it's not illegal or steve x robin get the hell outta here with that. don't bring your ship wars here, we don't care about them.

my ask box is literally open season. send whatever you want. request? check the rules! or dont, just be a complete freak. question? ask it! want to vent? do it baby i might not post it if it's super personal but i tell you what i'll read it im n o s y.

anyway, i think that covers it. i'm gay and i write and i do work a full time job so don't rush me.

the little gengars in my header and profile pic are from this poketoon! i just colored them because i could eat gengar alive im a gengar ghoulie.

[kpophubb]

hi honey 🕊💌

first thank you for your warmest words and kindness , you aren’t late I send it today in between my sessions 📖🥺🥹😭❤️

I’m so happy for you <3 congratulations 🎉, hope you can follow your dream and become someone you want to be ~ plus I wish you a lot of positive experiences 🥰💪🏻🎉 👩🏻‍⚕️

Ukraine 😔 I miss everyone so much , I miss my home 🏡 my dog ( I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to go there back one day and if it’s not ruined by weapons and bombs .😣😞

I really appreciate your support , like so much that tbh it feels unreal ❤️

Today I’m having a very hard day I haven’t been crying for about 2 weeks I think , as long as I can remember, but today I did like 4 times (( thank you for kind words , I actually took a screenshot to read them again 🥺💝

Today I was sitting and thinking that I’m so tired .. I’m so exhausted always looking for acceptance , always expecting ppl to be nice to me, like same I am to them..

I’m enfj and I think it’s the most insecure type of all of them I read the profile and it says I’m always looking for acceptance , validation and praise from others … and that’s true , I don’t know what kind of creature -freak am I ? .. z, feeding and living literally for others approval 😔

Did you name your niece ?:) I guess you might have some family business going on but ! Don’t worry posting ff late , pls STAY day is on august 3 heh omg 🤧🥰😍🥰

Also don’t forget about your own happiness and well being , I hope you are surrounded with support and love ☺️😇😍

Have you got any other dreams recently ?

What books 📚 have you bought?

Could you pls put a link somewhere for that fic with hy + sunghoon? So it’s easier for me to find 🥲💓

Todays song recommendation , also feel free to share smth with me🤗💖

Good night & have a nice day / morning , everything that you are having atm. Sending hugs. And I love YOU TOO🥺🥹💗

~ 🐁 anonie:)

Hi anonie 😭🥺💕🤧 first of all the jakey heart pics omg🫠🤧 (hit me right in the gut and heart) and our baby riki pic 💝🥹 aaah the greatest start to a message! Ahh it must be quite devasting right?:( like you’ve suddenly been thrown into a nightmare and everything feels so so foreign and frustrating. There’s no guarantee if you’ll ever be able to go to your country/home back and I picture you feeling so lonely. *pats on the shoulder* please stay strong. And keep working towards finding a new home, focusing on jobs for now. Life sometimes gets so unpredictable and it feels like everything’s over and you’ve lost, but a bad turn doesn’t mean you’ve hit a dead end. New doors always open and it’s very tough at the start but later on, you will reach a beautiful destination I promise. 💓 and I am literally an enfj too? My personality is a mix of ENFJ and ENFP. So I understand what you’re talking about. We’re very loyal and people’s person and that’s why it easily affects us when we’re not kindly treated by those around us. And getting other’s people approval/acknowledgment makes us feel so valid. But truth is, I adjusted myself to the reality of this world long time back. Not everyone is gonna be nice to you or be grateful to you no matter how nice you are to them or how much you help them. It’s some people’s nature. That doesn’t mean you have to stop being a nice and kind person to everyone around you. Just try to give without expecting anything in return ok? That’s how I’ve trained my mindset and I’m able to be happy now no matter what. As for the validation thing, I am not a confident person either and I have high self doubts and anxiety. I feel like I’m not good enough in a lot of cases and I often seek approval from others around me BUT I have changed that (and am still trying to) I have decided to be my own cheerleader. I tell myself that I’m worth it, I’m doing my best, I am enough etc. I find my spirits and acknowledgement from ME MYSELF. Bc think of it this way. No one knows your efforts more than you or god, so why do u let others who haven’t seen how hard you tried tell u that you’re bad/good at something? Don’t give anyone that right. To hold authority over how you feel about yourself my love. 💞 and don’t criticise yourself for being this way. There’s nothing wrong in yearning for others’ affection or approval or attention. Human beings were always created to be with eachother, no human being can exist alone. It’s how we were made by default.

And yes I did name my niece haha her name was decided even before she was born😆! Ill show u all the books directly when they arrive- reading books give me all this maturity since they’re always about young adult/slice of life/romance. Here is the link to my most favourite songs by bebe rexha that helped me so much in my rough times.( I’m a mess , sabotage , empty ) And ofc the link to my two fan fictions that involve hyunjin x sunghoon crossovers! (When you fangirl too much over another idol) & (when they find out their crush is dating another idol )

As of now I don’t have any other dreams 😛 apart from making tons of precious memories that I’ll be able to take with me for the next chapter of my life. Binge read books, Netflix dramas and animes, watch kpop comebacks and ofc go out with my best friend! 👯💞 I am friendly with almost everyone but I have only one best friend! Piece of advice to you: be friendly and nice with everyone but let only a few people get close to your heart. Since we get hurt easily and expect easily, don’t let your heart break by letting too many people in. 💘 have an even better day, much love & warm hugs! 🤗❤️

[anusha-swritings]

hii! could i do a mgk request? so basically kells and the reader have been friends for a while and they both like each other and kells writes bloody valentine about the reader or something like that? just a lot of fluff! thank you!

Bloody Valentine

Summary: British!reader and best friend Colson admit their feelings for each other. 

Warnings: Fluff, mentions of drug use, language (not offensive)

A/N: Hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

“Bloody hell!” I exclaimed seeing all the dishes Colson had left in the sink. I rolled my eyes, at the carelessness of my roommate/best friend. I knew he was probably in the studio working on something, but his carelessness was really pissing me off. If it was anyone else who had to take care of him like I did they’d probably have moved out the first day, but my friends were probably right my major crush on my best friend probably made me biased. Just a little bit.

I walked into the studio and sat on the spare couch while Colson was recording part of a new song with some of the guys. I laid on the couch jamming out to Travis’ drumming. He joined me on the couch a few minutes later and slim not too long after him. I laid my legs on slim’s lap. 

Soon Colson finished recording part of the song and all that was left was his background, and overlaps. He lit a blunt and walked to the couch. I moved my legs to let him sit between me and slim. He pulled me in by my waist and I laid my head on his shoulder. The song Colson was recording started playing again in the background as I closed my eyes listening to the lyrics.

The simulation just went bad

But you're the best I ever had

Like hand prints in wet cement

She touched me it's permanent

Colson shifted slightly under me as the song continued. 

In my head, in my head

I couldn't hear anything you said but

In my head, in my head

I'm calling you girlfriend, what the fuck

I started analyzing the lyrics. They seemed vaguely familiar.

I don't do fake love, but I'll take some from you tonight

I know I've got to go but I might just miss the flight

I can't stay forever, let's play pretend

And treat this night like it'll happen again

You'll be my bloody valentine tonight

I remembered saying something like that a few weeks ago on valentines day. I was angry and being petty about being alone, so if anyone asked me what was wrong I yelled “It’s bloody valentines day!” 

I'm overstimulated and I'm sad

I don't expect you to understand

It's nothing less than true romance

Or am I just making a mess

If this song was about me, what does he feel I don’t understand? I have so many questions: how do I ask him if he wrote a song about me?

In my head in my head

I'm laying naked with you, yeah

In my head, in my head

I'm ready to die holding your hand

I gasped slightly causing Slim to turn to me and give me a questioning look. I just shrugged, gesturing that we’d talk later. Slim was one of the few people I trusted to tell everything. He’s also the only one who knows about my crush on my best friend although he claims everyone can tell.

I don't do fake love, but I'll take some from you tonight (take some from you tonight)

I know I've got to go but I might just miss the flight

I can't stay forever, let's play pretend

And treat this night like it'll happen again

You'll be my bloody valentine tonight

As I continued to listen to the lyrics things started clicking in my brain. I remembered the time Colson missed a flight to stay and console me after my ex broke up with me. 

I can't hide

How I feel about you

Inside

I'd give everything up

Tonight

If I could just have you be mine

Be mine, baby

I can't hide

How I feel about you

Inside

I'd give everything up

Tonight

If I could just have you be mine

Be mine

I had to pinch myself to tell if this was real, maybe it was all a big coincidence and Colson was just writing about someone else. 

Ay, I don't do fake love, but I'll take some from you tonight (take some from you tonight)

I know I've got to go, but I might just miss the flight

I can't stay forever, let's play pretend

And treat this night like it'll happen again

You'll be my bloody valentine tonight

Everyone cheered and I joined in clapping to avoid suspicion. Colson went around the room ½ high asking everyone what their favorite part was. When Colson got to me I stuttered for a moment. “Um….well I really liked Travis’ drum solo.” Everyone else was interested in a story Travis was telling at this point. Colson and I were sitting in a separate corner of the studio, we’d moved around as everyone was congratulating and hugging each other. I could see Slim watching us from the corner of his eye noting the awkwardness.

“Ok,” Colson rolled his eyes. “What’s your favorite part about me?” He smirked knowing his phrasing was gonna make me blush. His smirk only grew when my whole face turned red and I looked down. Before I could recover to say something witty back to him Baze interrupted us. 

“Colson, come sit with us bro we got questions about these fucking lyrics.” Colson got up from his seat pressing a kiss to my forehead, which isn't unusual for us, before sitting with the guys. “So Colson, who’s this song about?” Slim asked, taking a swig of his beer. Colson gave him a look before stating “A girl” in a monotone.

All the boys rolled their eyes and booed trying to get a better answer out of him. Colson just sighed trying to change the conversation but it kept going back to his song. Eventually Colson got so irritated he stood up and walked out of the studio slamming the door behind him.

Eventually everyone in the studio turned to me staring expectantly. “What?” I was confused as to why they're staring at me. “You’re his best friend,” Baze pointed out. “Can you go calm him down please?” They all chimed in trying to convince me. “Fine. you’re lucky I don't wanna deal with an angry Colson.” I turned around glaring at the boys and wagging my finger, and I wonder why they call me the mom of the group. 

As I climbed the stairs I silently thanked the heavens for giving me a chance to talk to Colson alone. I approached Colson’s bedroom door and was about to knock when I heard him talking to himself. “Ugh, I wish you’d just understand.” I didn't want to eavesdrop. I was just trying to see if he was okay before I started talking to him but I was now curious as to who he was talking to.

I carefully knocked on the door. “Go away Baze.” Colson groaned from the other side of the door. “It’s y/n.” I heard him walk over to the door and unlock it, silently allowing me in. I walked in seeing him take off his jacket and hang it on a chair before falling face down on his bed. I laid next to him rubbing his back comfortingly. “Do you want to talk about what’s on your mind?” I asked. He groaned into his pillow. I giggled. “Ok then can we watch frozen?” I asked.

“Yeah, go on my phone and just use the app to turn on the TV.” He mumbled into his pillow. I picked up his phone and opened it so see him scrolling through my Instagram. I noticed in the bottom corner his profile pic was of me. Why is his profile picture of me? Then it hit me he had a fan account for me. My face turned beet red and Colson noticed. “What wrong?” He asked. “Um...nothing.” I replied quickly, turning his phone off and reaching for the remote, deciding to just turn on the TV the normal way.

Colson sat up and turned to face me. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll just have to tickle it out of you.” I turned away from him, continuing to turn on the TV. “Colson-” I started but was cut off by the feeling of his long fingers grazing and poking  my rib cage, emitting loud cackles from me as the remote fell out of my hand and landed on the bed. Colson continued to tickle me, making fun of my loud and obnoxious laugh as he leaned over me untill eventually he was hovering right over my body. 

His torture slowly came to a halt as we both realized how close our faces were. Colson slowly leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I stayed frozen in shock even as he pulled away. “Wow you suck at kissing.” He laughed moving back to his side of the bed. “Well you’re the one simping over me, creating a fan account to stalk me, writing a song about me, then out of nowhere kissing me, plus you’re best friend so excuse me if I was a bit shocked.” I said teasingly, sitting back and folding my hands. Colson blushed and sunk back into the pillows. “Aww is Machine Gun Kelly blushing?” I teased.

“Would you like to redeem yourself?” He mumbled. “What? Redeem myself at what?” Colson sat up and leaned his face close to mine. “This.” He whispered and pressed his lips to mine. This time I was more prepared and kissed back as he grabbed my hips and pulled me into his lap. 

When we finally pulled away Colson pressed our foreheads together. “So you like me too right?” He asked grinning like a fool. “You’re an idiot.” I laughed pressing our lips together again.

Taglist: @guiltydols @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk

[p-eppermintea]

love is a drug (but it never comes with a warning)

AO3 LINK

Pairing: Erwin Smith / Levi Ackerman (Eruri) Characters: Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, Isabel Magnolia, Farlan Church Rating: Explicit Warnings: No warnings apply Word Count: 13186 Tags: Sexual Content, Hook-up to Lovers, Pining, Angst, Croissant the cat, Love Confessions, Christmas, Yes I wrote the Christmas scenes in June

Excerpt / Summary:

So, here’s the thing. Levi really isn’t the type of person who invites strangers over for sex. Sure, he had a couple of hook-ups, quick fumbles, and one-night stands after nights out in his younger years – but that’s about the extent of it.

--

NOTE: I started this in October and very slowly finished it over the past 8-ish months. Quality control courtesy of ADHD and my inability to force myself to edit, mixed with my impatience to post. Sorry about mistakes!

So, here’s the thing.

Levi really isn’t the type of person who invites strangers over for sex. Sure, he had a couple of hook-ups, quick fumbles, and one-night stands after nights out in his younger years – but that’s about the extent of it.

The older he gets, the less he cares about sex. He’s slowly paying off a mortgage, has hobbies and a good job and a couple of even better friends. Meeting people just seems like a waste of time, and sex is just so unnecessary and messy.

But after almost two years of celibacy and with the house to himself for the weekend, he caves and downloads Grindr. He pours himself a glass of wine, downs it, and meanders around the house for a little bit. He feeds his cat. Pours himself another glass of wine. Polishes his already meticulously clean coffee table. He finally opens the app properly.

Making a profile doesn’t take him too long, and most of that time is taken up by choosing a profile picture. He settles on the gym photo he sent to Isabel a week earlier. He doesn’t really take a lot of photos of himself either, so it’s not exactly hard for him to choose.

Levi takes one look at the array of profiles before he sighs heavily and throws his phone to the other side of the couch. This is so stupid.

He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. He’s thirty, for fuck’s sake. He’s gone through all of the stupid hormonal-fuelled confusion from his teen and early adult years, and he hasn’t been self-conscious about himself for as long as he can remember. He doesn’t even get nervous before big presentations. So why is this making his heart race and his palms sweat?

He sits and finishes his drink slowly, listening as his phone buzzes every now and then in front of him.

About twenty minutes pass before he eventually gives in and grabs his phone again.

Three messages. Alright, not bad. He can deal with three messages.

They aren’t really anything special. It’s about what Levi expected; “Top or bottom?”, “Come here often?”. And, of course, a dick pic straight away. Levi scoffs at that last one. It’s an okay photo, he supposes. It’s a just dick, though, there isn’t really much more to it. He’s worth more than some low-effort and unsolicited dick pic, though, so the message is ultimately ignored.

He’s actually a little disappointed by the choices. Maybe he’s a bit too old for this, but it just seems like people have gotten lazy when it comes to looking for hookups. They could’ve at least put some effort into their first messages, for fuck’s sake.

Levi shoots a lazy reply of “Switch” to the first guy. He looks okay in his profile picture. Attractive, but with soft features and the build of a particularly thin tree. He doesn’t really find himself gravitating towards that type of man too often.

Mr. Cheesy-Pick-Up-Line is more his type. Tall, wide shoulders, chiselled, and downright handsome. Erwin, thirty-five. A little bit closer to his age, too.

Too bad his first message is so lame.

Erwin: Come here often?

Levi: What is this, the nineties? Does that even ever work?

Levi: I just downloaded this.

Erwin: Not yet, but I’ve got my fingers crossed! What brings you here?

Levi: Looking for a hook-up, I guess.

Erwin: Any luck?

Levi: Not yet. Unless one mediocre dick pic counts.

Erwin: Unfortunate. I find that it’s quite rare to find a decent one. I could definitely send a much better one

Erwin: That was a joke. I think. Unless…?

This guy is so lame.

Levi: Ha. Ha. Ha. Hilarious.

He chews on his lip, contemplating. He flicks off the lid of the wine bottle and takes a swig. Fuck it. He might as well throw himself right in the deep end and get it over with.

Levi: Alright then. I’ll warn you though, I’m a tough crowd to impress.

And, well.

It’s something, alright. He was right, at least – it is much better. Warm early-morning lighting, with soft shadows that define the sharp planes of his hips. He’s kneeling on a bed, hard and curved in his hand, and okay. Levi’s stomach twists deliciously.

Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.

Levi: When can you come over?

--

When turns out to be right this minute.

Levi chews on his fingernails for the entire forty minutes it takes for Erwin to get to his house.

It’s not until he hears a car door slamming closed out on his driveway that it finally sets in. He’s known this guy for approximately… What, an hour now? And he’s coming over. To his house. At damn near ten o’clock at night.

Oh God, what if he’s a total catfish. Or a serial killer?

By the time there’s a knock at the door, Levi still hasn’t decided whether or not he can actually go through with it. He spends way too long pacing by the door and swearing to himself under his breath. He picks up his cat, and puts her down, and then picks her up again, before finally opening the door.

Erwin is standing in front of him, way taller and way more handsome than his photo looked. “Levi?”

The cat squirms in his arms. “Um.” Levi swallows, his throat suddenly dry. “Yeah, that’s me.” He steps aside and gestures inside, inviting him in.

Erwin steps inside, moving slowly and smiling kindly at Levi on his way past. “Cute cat,” he comments while Levi is bumping the door closed with his hip. He steps closer – way too close – and immediately starts rubbing behind her ears.

“Her name is Croissant,” Levi mumbles. She’s a little sand-coloured thing, with big green eyes and a fluffy tail. The name suits her. “She’s my housemate’s cat.”

Erwin laughs. “Nice to meet you, Croissant.” He’s leaning down and cooing over her, and she’s purring. That little shit, who almost never purrs when Levi is petting her, is actually purring.

Before Levi can get too annoyed that Erwin is giving the cat more attention, Erwin straightens up and looks at Levi with a bright grin. “How shall we do this, then?” he asks. “Would you feel more comfortable if we sit down and talk first, or just get into it?”

Levi contemplates for a moment, Croissant squirming in his arms until she breaks free from his hold and dashes off into the kitchen. It’s not like they’re on a date or anything, so getting to know each other first seems a little pointless to him. “What do you usually do?”

“I don’t do this too often, but when I do, I find it easier to start slow.” He’s already pretty close, but he steps forwards, moving more and more into Levi’s space. They’re basically breathing in each other’s mouths. Levi wets his dry as fuck lips and shuffles nervously. “Is this okay?”

Levi nods, and Erwin’s hand starts travelling lightly up his arm. His body jerks automatically in response, but he quickly relaxes. His hand eventually stops on Levi’s elbow, and he leans even closer. “Tell me when to stop,” he mumbles.

Erwin is taking his sweet time, studying Levi’s face. He squirms under his steely blue gaze. The anticipation is fucking killing him. It’s almost unbearable.

So Levi kisses Erwin first. He raises up onto the tips of his toes and smashes their lips together, throwing his arms up around Erwin’s neck, slow be damned.

It’s good, as far as first kisses go. Erwin is soft and tender, but there’s this underlying dominance to him. He allows Erwin to kiss his way into his mouth, his hands sliding up Levi’s arms and finding their way onto his cheeks.

They move slowly to the living room, hands and mouths roaming carelessly, and clothes slowly finding themselves strewn out on the floor. They fall onto the couch together, Erwin pulling Levi’s shirt off over his head and dropping it onto the floor next to them. Levi shudders at the sight of clothes discarded on the floor haphazardly, but then Erwin is kissing him again, and pushing him down into the couch cushions, and climbing on top of him, and suddenly he just doesn’t mind.

“Do you mind if I mark you?” Erwin asks, looking down at Levi with narrow eyes.

Levi’s breath catches in his throat, and he shakes his head quickly. Erwin moves downwards, and Levi’s head immediately falls back to expose his neck, his eyes rolling back when Erwin’s lips attach to his skin.

Part of Levi wants to roll Erwin over and make him beg – he usually takes on a more dominant role during sex. But they’ve only been making out for about ten minutes, and Levi just wants to lay there and let Erwin do whatever he wants to him, as many times as he wants. Levi groans quietly as Erwin digs his teeth into his skin and sucks hard.

They just seem to click.

--

Afterwards, when they’re both sweaty and exhausted and very much satisfied, Levi makes Erwin a cup of tea, and they sit in the kitchen and drink in silence.

After Levi’s usual hook-ups, he usually either kicks the guy out, or passes out immediately afterwards and pretends to still be asleep in the morning as he sneaks out, never to be seen again. He doesn’t have time for casual conversation with random guys from clubs.

This time feels different – he actually kind of likes Erwin. He’s definitely the best sex he’s ever had, that’s for sure. He really has no idea what to say, though.

Croissant is sitting in the doorway, eyeing them both suspiciously. Levi can feel her judging them.

“So,” Erwin starts, setting his cup down. “What happens now?”

“I don’t know,” Levi admits. He takes a sip of his tea. “You do this more than I do, you tell me.”

“I mean… unless you’d like me to go, perhaps we could put on a movie?” Erwin’s eyebrows wriggle suggestively. It’s stupid, and lame, and annoyingly cute. “And not watch it?”

And that’s how they find themselves back on Levi’s couch, making out lazily with some shitty rom-com that Erwin chose playing on the TV.

Erwin is exactly the right size for Levi to be far too comfortable lying on top of him. He’s big enough to wrap himself almost completely around Levi’s body. He feels oddly secure.

He’s also the perfect size, it seems, for Croissant to insert herself directly in-between them, pushing her little head between the two of them and lying down directly on Erwin’s chest. She starts purring immediately, flexing her claws in Erwin’s shirt, and flicking Levi with her tail.

“Oh wow,” Levi says, sitting up and crossing his arms. “Are you some kind of cat hypnotist or something?”

Erwin laughs, scratching Croissant behind the ears. “I guess she just likes me.”

Levi scoffs. “The little bitch doesn’t like anyone except my dumbshit housemate,” he replies. “She doesn’t even like me that much.”

“That’s surprising, you’re very pleasant,” Erwin replies, smiling cheekily. The joke is obvious behind his eyes and toothy smile.

“If my stupid cat wasn’t between us right now, I’d kick your ass.”

Erwin laughs, a bright and hearty sound that rumbles deep in his chest and startles Croissant. She merely looks at him in alarm for a moment, and then goes back to purring. He continues to fuss over her, making little kissy faces and squishing her face delicately in his hands. “You are so cute,” he coos, wrapping his arms around her gently and pulling her closer to his chest.

All Levi can really do is just watch as his Grindr hook-up, still in just his underwear and a T-shirt, gives his cat more attention than him. He can’t help but smile a little bit to himself, though, as he watches Erwin interacting with Croissant. It’s actually pretty endearing, in a way.

“I think someone’s in love,” Levi comments. He watches for a little bit longer, before his erection starts to go down and he gets a little too impatient. “Okay, time’s up. Shove her off and pay attention to me again.”

Erwin rubs his nose lovingly against Croissant’s forehead and picks her up, putting her down on the carpet. She looks disappointed, but opts for staring up at them instead of jumping up again. He looks back up at Levi and wets his lips, pulling him down with a large hand on the back of his neck.

It’s not until after half a movie, two more rounds, and a few episodes of Friends later, that Erwin yawns loudly, stretching his arms over his head.

“It’s late,” Levi observes. The clock above the TV reads somewhere after 2 AM. He really wasn’t intending for Erwin to stay for so long, but part of him really didn’t want him to leave. If anyone asks him, he’ll probably say that hormones were compelling him to let Erwin stay – it has been a while since he’s had any kind of sex, after all. But the truth is that he actually just really likes spending time with him.

“Yeah,” Erwin replies slowly.

“You’re probably too tired to drive home.”

“I guess I am, yeah.” Erwin’s eyebrow rises, waiting.

Levi looks down at his hands, scraping at an invisible speck on his thumbnail. “So maybe you should stay for the night. Y’know. So you don’t fall asleep at the wheel and die.”

Erwin huffs out a laugh. “That sounds good to me.”

Levi stands up, rubbing at his tired eyes with his sleeve. He reaches out his hand sheepishly, and leads Erwin into his bedroom – Croissant following close by.

“Just don’t leave in the middle of the night and steal my shit,” Levi grumbles. “I’ll know.”

--

When Levi wakes up at 9 AM in the morning (which is uncharacteristically late for him), he’s almost shocked that Erwin is still in the bed with him. For some reason, he kind of expected him to get up and disappear during the night. He doesn’t seem like the type, but there’s always the possibility. And of course, Croissant is curled up on the pillow, right next to his head, and snoring quietly.

He sits up in bed and watches them for a little bit. While Croissant is a bit of a cuddle bug sometimes, she’s never really connected with anyone as quickly as she seems to be connecting with Erwin. Even when Isabel brought her home as a rescue kitten – it took her a couple of months to get to this point. What’s so special about Erwin, then?

Levi is almost tempted to take a photo of the two for Isabel, but he really doesn’t want to be that guy who takes weird creepy photos of his hook-ups. He also doesn’t even want to think about all the questions and comments she’ll have for him. Knowing her, she’d be on the first train back, just to get a glimpse at Erwin. No, it’s probably better he keeps this to himself. She’ll inevitably find out eventually, though.

Erwin shifts and groans in his sleep, and Levi startles, whipping his head the other way. He quietly crawls out of bed and retreats into his en suite, closing the door carefully behind him. He busies himself with brushing his teeth, keeping an ear out in case Erwin stirs more.

He has no idea what he’s going to do when Erwin wakes up. He supposes he should make him breakfast and tea, and then what? Would it be rude to ask him to leave after that? He could always use work as an excuse if he needs to.

Levi sits on the side of the bathtub for a little bit, eyeing the spiderweb in the corner of his ceiling with disgust. It’s been there for a few weeks, but he doesn’t have the heart to get rid of it while there’s a spider still living there. After all, she keeps the flies out.

He sighs loudly and gets up, leaving the bathroom quietly. Erwin is sitting up in bed with Croissant, stroking her back quietly. Unfazed by Levi’s re-entrance, she rolls over onto her back, purring loudly as Erwin rubs her belly.

“Wow, you have her so whipped,” Levi observes.

Erwin smiles up at Levi. “I guess I just have the magic touch or something.”

Levi lingers in the doorway, shuffling his feet. He watches as Erwin leans over and presses his face into Croissant’s chest, scratching her cheeks. It’s stupidly cute, and Levi hates it.

“Um, so,” Levi starts. “Sleep well?” He cringes. Small talk really isn’t his thing, obviously.

Erwin sits up, smiling handsomely up at Levi. “I did, thank you.”

Levi sits down on the edge of the bed, reaching out to Croissant and softly petting her head. She looks up at him, looking downright offended that he’d even dare to look at her right now. In one swift motion, she flips over and bolts out of the room, sprinting down the hallway at full speed.

They both sit in silence, avoiding eye contact like the plague. Or, at least Levi avoids it. When he finally looks up at Erwin, he’s looking right back at him. His cheeks turn hot.

It’s not long until Erwin is pushing him down into the mattress and slowly kissing his way down Levi’s chest. His mouth is hot and wet when he takes him all the way down.

--

Levi makes both of them breakfast and they eat quietly in the kitchen, exchanging casual small talk every now and then. Erwin is a sous chef. He has no siblings, both of his parents are dead, and he lives alone. He likes dogs more than cats, but cats are cool, too.

They both have such regular, boring lives. No wonder Erwin is so freaky in bed.

Erwin puts his empty teacup down carefully and stretches, groaning loudly as he does. “I have to go,” he starts. Levi deflates a little, strangely disappointed. Erwin continues, “I’d really like to see you again, though.”

“I’d like that too.”

They say an awkward goodbye to each other at the door. Levi gives Erwin his phone number with a shy, “Call me whenever,” and watches as Erwin gets in his car and drives away.

Croissant sits by the door for most of the day.

--

Levi: I think you broke my cat.

Erwin: Oh?

The image Levi attaches is of Croissant, sleeping right next to the front door.

Levi: She’s been here since you left yesterday.

Erwin: I guess she misses me!

He also replies with a dorky laughing emote, and seriously Levi is so close to just blocking him. What is he, eighty-five?

Levi: My housemate came home, and the cat barely even looked at her. Usually, you can’t keep them away from each other.

Erwin: Oops! :)

Levi: She might get too lovesick, so you might have to come over again soon, maybe.

Levi physically cringes after hitting send on that one. This sort of weird flirting thing is new to him, but he quite likes Erwin. He never knew how enjoyable slightly awkward non-conversations and really good sex could actually be. It’s enjoyable enough to actually let himself talk like this, he supposes.

Erwin: Just tell me when

--

When Erwin comes over for the second time that Tuesday afternoon, he immediately scoops Croissant up into his arms and rocks her in his arms, pressing little kisses onto her forehead. She squirms in his arms until he loosens his grip and climbs up onto his shoulders.

Isabel slides up next to Levi, eyeing them both curiously. “Wow, I thought he was joking,” she comments, eyes wide. “But there she is, happy as a peach.”

They go through the weird introductory stage as fast as they can. Luckily, Isabel and Erwin are both rays of fucking sunshine, so they get along really easily, readily going into a full conversation about Croissant while Levi stands there awkwardly. They don’t talk for too long – Croissant is far too insistent on Erwin’s full attention for that – and soon move to the kitchen. The plan is for Erwin to cook dinner, Isabel to “have a nosy at her big bro’s new man” (her words), and Levi to suffer eternally until she finally leaves them alone.

Isabel sits herself down on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island, resting her chin in her hands and looking between Levi and Erwin. She’s smiling uncontrollably at them, and it’s seriously creeping Levi out. She makes a happy little noise when Erwin sets Croissant down in her lap. Surprisingly, she settles right down, staring back at Erwin with big eyes.

Isabel and Erwin get back into their easy conversation, with Levi chiming in every now and then, while Erwin gets to work. He’s making vegan spaghetti and meatballs, as per Isabel’s request. Levi and Isabel half-play Scrabble while they wait, and Croissant eventually jumps down from her lap in favour of following Erwin around the kitchen – nearly tripping him up every five minutes.

It’s getting dark outside by the time Erwin finishes. Levi pours them all a glass of wine each, and they eat at the dining table.

Surprisingly to himself, Levi finds himself really enjoying himself. Erwin and Isabel seem to get along really well, which is good. He probably wouldn’t be able to see him anymore if she didn’t like him. It’s not exactly hard to get Isabel to like you, so if she doesn’t like someone, there must really be something wrong with them – especially if they’re willing to make dinner. And enough for leftovers, at that.

“God, you should cook for us every day,” Isabel groans, shoving her clear plate forwards. “I will give you Levi’s entire paycheque to be the head chef at Casa de Levi and Isabel.”

Erwin laughs, scratching his neck and blushing bashfully. “Oh, well…” he trails off, glancing at Levi, who just shrugs. “In that case, I’d quit my job in a heartbeat. I’ll even cook dinners for little Croissant here.” He looks down at her, where she insisted on curling up on his lap while they ate. She’s usually not allowed to be at the dinner table while they eat, but… well, Levi couldn’t exactly say no to all three of them, could he?

Isabel claps her hands together and looks at Levi with mock-pleading eyes, jutting out her bottom lip. “Oh please, Levi, can we keep him?”

Levi raises an eyebrow and pretends to think about it for a moment. He might as well play along. “I guess so, but only if you promise to clean up after him.”

Next to him, Erwin chuckles quietly. He reaches over subtly and places a hand on Levi’s knee under the table. Levi nearly jumps out of his skin, but manages to disguise it as shifting in his seat. His hand shifts, moving upwards slowly and eventually settling again high up on his thigh. When he glances at Erwin, all he gets is a small, polite smile.

Isabel grins hugely at Erwin, leaning forwards. “Looks like you’re staying here forever, then.”

“You’ll have to help me pack a bag,” he counters, somehow smiling back with the same intensity as Isabel. All while slowly sliding his hand between Levi’s thighs. When he opens his legs a little bit more, almost instinctively, Erwin’s hand moves further forwards. He rubs Levi through his jeans slowly, and Levi feels himself hardening, and okay, okay, okay.

Levi jumps up, completely startling Croissant and causing her to wriggle off of Erwin’s lap and shoot off out of the kitchen. “I’ll clean up,” he blurts out. He busies himself with taking all of the plates and empty wine glasses to the sink. Erwin looks up at Levi as he takes his plate, one eyebrow raised in concern. He smiles minutely, just to assure him that everything’s okay.

He cleans the dishes as quickly as he can manage whilst still being as meticulous as he usually is, and Erwin and Isabel continue their casual conversation quietly amongst themselves. He dries off his hands and turns around, tossing the handtowel at Isabel’s head. “Alright, fuck off now, it’s my turn.”

Isabel stands up abruptly and throws the towel back at him, missing completely. She’s smiling. “Alright, Mr. Grumpy Bones, I’m going!” She turns to Erwin on her way out and gives a little wave. “It was nice to meet you, I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, you too!”

She turns back just before she leaves the room and stares Levi down, her eyes saying, “Don’t you dare fuck in the kitchen,” in every way.

Levi huffs and slowly walks towards Erwin, waiting until he hears Isabel close her bedroom door behind her until he finally throws one leg over Erwin’s legs and climbs into his lap. “That was pretty mean,” he tells him, quiet and under his breath. He grazes his lips lightly against Erwin’s cheek, feeling him shudder.

“What was?” Erwin asks, smirking slyly.

“You know.” He nudges Erwin’s lips gently; not kissing him yet, but teasing. He puts a hand on Erwin’s cheek, using his thumb to part his lips and open up his mouth, and Erwin chases Levi’s tongue with his own.

They finally kiss, Erwin sighing contently and wrapping his arms perfectly around Levi’s waist. “Which one’s your bedroom again?” Erwin’s words come out as a whisper against Levi’s lips. They kiss again, and Erwin pulls Levi even closer, their chests pressing together. He slides his arms down and heaves both him and Levi up in one movement.

Levi’s legs wrap around Erwin’s waist, clinging to him like his life depends on it. “First door on the left down the corridor, make it quick.”

--

They have their first kind-of-but-really-not date on the following Friday.

It starts with Isabel harassing Levi from the second he gets home from work about how they “absolutely must go out tonight!” As much as he hates to admit it, Levi has never really been able to say no to her – and she knows it, too. That’s why there are photos of them all over the house, and a cat called Croissant.

Levi plays along and protests weakly for all of two minutes before giving in; she really does have him wrapped around her little finger. He feigns annoyance as he trudges to the bathroom to shower, just for the drama of it all. Truth is, they haven’t really had a night out together for a while. She’s been working pretty hard recently, and she deserves to have a nice time.

Levi showers as quickly and as thoroughly as he can manage without Isabel knocking the door down. He barely gets his underwear on before she’s barging into his bedroom and insisting that he dress up, immediately digging through his wardrobe to find him a shirt. She throws a dark blue button-down with white flowers to him – a shirt that she had gifted to him a few months ago after receiving her first paycheque. Levi isn’t really a flowers person at all, but it’s his favourite shirt. He’s allowed to be a sentimental bitch every once and a while.

Isabel pretty much forces him into a pair of inappropriately tight dress pants and pats him sweetly on the cheek. “So handsome!”

He shrugs her off of him, his cheeks growing warm. “Yeah yeah, get ready, and let’s fuckin’ go.”

She orders them both an Uber into the city – with one stop on the way to pick Farlan up – and walks them so quickly to the bar that she’s practically running. They end up in a fancy-looking underground cocktail lounge on the main street. It’s not quite dark out yet, and the clouds are grey and dense with rain. It had rained for most of the day already, but it didn’t seem like it would stop any time soon. Inside, there’s dim, warm lighting from the little chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, swing music playing on the speakers, and a lit fireplace. The whole nine yards.

They’re escorted to a small booth in the corner and given a couple of food and drink menus. Farlan and Levi go into a conversation about their respective days at work while Isabel immediately snatches up the menus and pours over them.

It’s been far too long since Levi and Farlan last caught up properly, but they fly back into comfortable conversation with ease. The three of them have a lot to talk about, especially after a couple of drinks each.

Levi gets up after a while to use the bathroom, slash buy the next round, slash flirt awkwardly with the stupidly cute bartender while he makes their drinks. When he walks back to their table, there are noticeably a couple more strawberries in the glasses than usual. He supposes that’s all he’ll get from his weird flirty banter, but he’s okay with that. He admires the professionality more than he cares for getting his number.

He barely sits back down and starts up the conversation again before Isabel gasps loudly, squirming in her seat. “Erwin’s here!” she squeaks, far too loudly, and pointing at the other side of the restaurant.

And yep. There he is. Of course, she invited him.

Levi hides behind his drink and watches as Erwin rushes over, all handsome and tall and button-up shirt tucked in with the sleeves rolled up and a stupid navy tie, and who even gave him the right to look that good?

“God, sorry I’m late,” Erwin says hurriedly. “We were late with closing, and then I got stuck in some traffic, and then I had to go home and change, and –”

Isabel cuts him off with a wave of her hand. “Don’t worry about it!” She stands up from her seat next to Levi and pats the now-vacant chair. “Sit! I’ll get you a drink – the espresso martinis here are so good.”

She runs off to the bar before Erwin can get another word in, let alone protest to her spending money on him.

There’s a long beat of weird, awkward silence before Farlan sticks his hand out, switching from awkward to his usual friendly self in a split second. “You’re Erwin, then,” he remarks.

Erwin shakes Farlan’s hand. “And you must be Farlan,” he counters. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Isabel.”

“Likewise,” Farlan responds, not without taking a not-so-subtle glance at Levi and raising his eyebrows suggestively. It takes every bit of strength in Levi’s being not to throw his drink straight at him. Instead, he just chews on his flimsy paper straw and grunts in acknowledgement.

“I think you just might be Isabel’s new favourite person,” Farlan continues. “She’s already completely smitten.”

Right on cue, Isabel gently places two espresso martinis down onto the table, before sitting down heavily herself next to Farlan. “If you and Levi split up, I’m totally swooping in and making you my housewife,” she jokes. “I do love some good home cooking.”

Erwin laughs nervously and sips his drink. “Well, I mean… There isn’t really anything to split up,” he adds in, glancing warily at Levi. “So… I suppose I could be your housewife whenever, then.”

All Levi can do is stare down into his drink and fidget with his hands. It is true that they aren’t actually together, but there’s something about the way Erwin said it, just like that - and he sounded so sure about it. For some reason, it hurt.

Levi tries so hard not to wear his emotions on his sleeve. Everyone who’s known him for more than a minute knows that he’d rather shove his head into a spider web than show his emotions, but that hit him differently for some reason. Perhaps it’s just the fact that he was always under the impression that there was something to split up – they’ve been seeing each other regularly for a while – longer than anyone has ever wanted to be around Levi for, other than Isabel and Farlan. Does Erwin actually think that way, or is he saying it because he thinks that’s what Levi thinks?

The thought of that, and coupled with the fact that Isabel didn’t even mention that he was coming, sends his brain into overload. He listens to Isabel and Farlan continue to talk at Erwin, until the staticky feeling in his brain starts to become too much and he downs the rest of his drink in one go. “Excuse me,” he says, getting up on wobbly legs and high tailing it to the bathroom as fast as he can.

He washes his hands once. And again. And then once more, for his own peace of mind.

Levi sighs and stares at himself in the mirror – at his tired, sunken-in eyes; the dryness of his lips and the paleness of his skin; his messy, dark hair. Every part of his brain is screaming at him. That he’s not good enough for Erwin; that he’s just going to leave him at the first chance he gets. It shouldn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, just let it play out. His throat is dry, but he swallows down his anxiety and turns the tap on again, frantically dispensing soap onto his hand.

Two men enter the bathroom, chatting obnoxiously loudly with each other, and Levi uses it as an opportunity to escape back to their table. Nobody says anything, thank God¸ but Isabel slowly pushes a pink cocktail in a jar towards him. She gives him her best puppy-dog eyes, and he forgives her instantly. Of course he does.

His heartbeat thumps loudly in his ears as he sits down next to Erwin. He’s good at acting natural, so he warily hooks his foot around Erwin’s calf and puts a hand down on his thigh. He gets a warm smile in return, and Erwin leans in closer.

“So… Isabel didn’t mention that I was coming, then,” Erwin starts, quietly.

“No, she didn’t.”

“She said that she’s sorry for making you uncomfortable,” he offers.

Levi sighs. “Yeah, I know she is. She just got a bit carried away.”

Erwin raises an eyebrow at him. “There’s not much she can’t get away with with you, huh?” He sounds surprised, as if he hasn’t been in the same room as both of them at once. It’s laughably obvious how lenient Levi is with Isabel. She could come home with a whole litter of kittens, and he’d let her keep all of them if it would make her happy.

Of course, he wouldn’t actually tell her that, because she’d probably come home with a box full of cats the next day. But the sentiment is still there.

Levi shrugs passively. “She’s like a little sister to me,” he explains. “It’d be very un-big-brotherly of me to not let her get away with everything.”

That seems to make Erwin smile. “That’s really sweet.”

They sip their drinks together, in a silence that’s comfortable but still so painfully awkward.

Across the table, Isabel and Farlan are arguing over a basket of sweet potato fries – Farlan keeps stealing all of the crispy ones before Isabel can even look at them, how dare he. They’re both laughing about it, but Levi really wouldn’t be surprised if Isabel jumped over the table and started clawing at him.

Levi stays mostly quiet for the next hour or so, only chiming in on conversation every now and then. He just sits and sips on cocktail after cocktail, sinking into a fuzzy haze. By the time everyone starts to get ready to leave, his cheeks are numb, and it takes him a good few seconds to stand up on his shaky legs.

“We should head home before I spend all of my money,” Isabel sighs, pulling her coat over her shoulders.

Erwin slowly stands up and looks around at them, unsure what to do with himself. Isabel hooks her arm around Erwin’s and pulls herself close to his side.

“Come back to ours,” she says, looking up at him. “I have some wine left, and you can stay the night.” She turns to Levi. God, she knows he can’t resist her stupid puppy-dog eyes. “Right?”

Levi shrugs, acting as nonchalant as he can. “Sounds good.”

Erwin smiles, “Sounds good to me, too.”

--

It’s not long until Isabel is wine-drunk and singing and swaying around the kitchen with Croissant huddled securely to her chest, whilst Levi, Erwin, and Farlan play Uno at the table. It’s definitely not Levi’s game of choice – not by a long shot. He’s unnecessarily competitive and impatient, and everyone knows that when you mix that with Uno, friendships get destroyed and someone ends up crying. He sits there, grumpy as ever and holding about fifteen cards, and glares at Farlan from across the table. He somehow managed to get all of the pick up four and reversal cards, completely fucking Levi over, because he’s a fucking coward who doesn’t even dare target the new guy.

“Fucking hell Is, it’s your turn,” Levi groans, picking up her hand and throwing it at her weakly. The cards flutter down around her and land softly at her feet.

“Noooo, no cards. Time to dance with the baby.” The baby, who is actually a four-year-old adult cat, seems content to just sit in her arms and be swayed.

Erwin looks on with amusement. It’s the first time since they got home that Croissant hasn’t stuck to Erwin like glue. (Although, she did get a bit upset about being stolen from her comfortable perch on his lap.)

“My turn, then!” Farlan says. He’s far too excited, Levi notices. And… yep, another pick up two card. Yet again, Levi doesn’t have anything to refute it with. He grumbles in annoyance as he picks up another two. He’s so getting his ass beaten later.

Next to him, Erwin takes his turn, happily exclaiming, “Uno!” as he sets down a yellow reversal card.

Levi throws his card onto the pile unceremoniously, and then Farlan takes his turn, and ultimately, Erwin is declared the winner.

“Thank fuck that’s over,” Levi hisses, dropping the rest of his cards onto the table. “I forgot that you’re an asshole.”

Farlan laughs happily. “Not my fault you’re bad at Uno.”

“I will punch you, and you know I will,” Levi challenges, standing up. It’s all just casual banter, and they both know that he probably wouldn’t punch Farlan. (Probably.)

“Let’s go, then!” Farlan jumps to his feet, puffing out his chest comically. He moves into an open space and beckons at Levi, planting his feet down firmly on the ground and bracing himself.

Erwin looks alarmed, but he doesn’t say anything. He just watches quietly as Levi lets out a (reasonably volumed) war cry and immediately pounces on Farlan like a cat. Their actual cat squirms out of Isabel’s arms and bolts off out of the kitchen. They wrestle with each other, and it’s like they’re kids again. Except much less messy, and more… two men who are getting way too old for wrestling.

Levi manages to pin Farlan down, jamming his hands under his shirt and wriggling them against his sides. He tickles Farlan until he’s a mess of laughter and surprisingly high-pitched noises, thrashing around and begging him to stop.

“It’s like watching two puppies fight,” Erwin remarks amusedly. He steps back cautiously when Levi’s head whips around to look at him.

“You wanna go too, big boy?”

Erwin raises an eyebrow at him. “You really think you could take me down?” he challenges. He thinks for a second before adding a wary sounding, “Short stuff?”

Isabel and Farlan gasp dramatically. “You didn’t,” Isabel laughed.

Levi gets up rather ungracefully and starts towards Erwin, flipping his hair out of his face and cracking his knuckles. Erwin doesn’t seem to be too worried by his “boy on the streets” intimidation tactic. He seems confident that Levi won’t actually hurt him or anything, but they both know that Levi is stronger than he looks.

Levi is also a lot quicker than he looks, too, and he manages to dodge around Erwin and jump up onto his back. He uses all of his weight to clumsily pull Erwin down onto the ground, rolling him over onto his back and throwing a leg over his body to straddle him. Isabel cheers for him enthusiastically. Even though Erwin’s tipsy state makes it a lot easier to take him down, he still huffs in triumph at his win.

“I wasn’t expecting you to actually be able to do it,” Erwin observes. He subtly places a hand on Levi’s thigh, stroking it gently. “I stand corrected.”

Levi grumbles under his breath nervously, his face warm and flushed. He moves to stand up and Erwin strikes, wrapping his arms around Levi and flipping him over onto the ground. The impact knocks the wind out of Levi’s lungs a little bit, and he gasps for breath.

“You dirty bitch,” Levi hisses, immediately struggling to regain control. Erwin just laughs and sits down heavily on his thighs, restricting his movement.

Erwin shrugs, grabbing Levi’s hands and pinning them down by his head. “You don’t win by playing nice and following rules.”

Levi sticks up his nose at Erwin, giving him his best annoyed face.

All he gets in return is a big grin as Erwin leans down, pressing a kiss on the tip of his nose. “For such an angry little man, you sure are cute,” he points out.

From the kitchen, Farlan fakes gagging sounds. “I’m going to throw up, stop it.” Isabel giggles next to him.

Just to be rude, Erwin leans down and kisses Levi properly, laughing against his mouth. And what kind of person would Levi be if he didn’t kiss him back?

--

It happens slowly, but eventually, Erwin ends up spending most of his time at Levi and Isabel’s place. It started as one or two times a week, but then Levi suggests that it could be nice if Erwin spent a weekend there. After that, his toothbrush starts making an appearance in the bathroom, and Levi finds at least three pairs of his underwear in his wardrobe. They go to work at the same time, Levi comes home, and then he and Croissant just sit and wait for Erwin to come back a couple of hours. Sometimes it feels like years, but he doesn’t think too far into that.

Levi isn’t entirely sure what it is that keeps Erwin coming back. It could be that he gets along with Isabel really well. Both her and Croissant seem to follow him around wherever he goes. He comes home one day to all three of them asleep on the couch, some cheesy TV show playing in the background. He tries not to feel too jealous about their bond, because he and Erwin do still spend plenty of time alone together. But Levi just seems to struggle to connect with people in the same way that Isabel has always been able to, and he’s always been uncomfortably insecure about that.

Awkward lapses in conversation slowly turn into comfortable silences, though, and slowly but surely, it gets easier.

It’s hard for Levi to believe that someone like Erwin could genuinely like him, sometimes. He wouldn’t exactly brand himself as someone who’s easy to tolerate, never mind actually like. But apparently Erwin, who is relentlessly pleasant to be around and far easier to get along with than Levi is himself, really, actually, genuinely likes him.

Levi brushes his teeth and stares at Erwin’s razor, sitting on the side of the sink. It’s just sitting there, like it pays rent or something. And it should annoy him, but it doesn’t. Erwin is very slowly invading his home, his social life, his thoughts. Surprisingly, he’s okay with it. What started out as a hook-up and then really good casual sex is now… a friendship, he guesses. The sex is still good too, which is a bonus.

He sighs and puts his toothbrush back in its holder. What is he turning into?

--

They don’t see each other for about two weeks, making sure to text every now and then and communicate through Isabel. Even Levi will admit that it gets a little sad around the house without Erwin around. Croissant goes all around the house trying to find him, and Levi feels bad enough for her that he lets her sleep in his bed for a couple of nights.

Levi comes home on Thursday night from what is turning out to be his longest and most exhausting week in a long time. He fully intends on just lying on the kitchen floor with his cat for the next few hours and disintegrating into a pile of sand. He groans, hanging his work bag up on the hook by the front door, and heads towards the kitchen. The smell of sautéing onions gets stronger the closer he gets, accompanied by some faint pop song on the radio. “God, Isabel, I swear,” he starts, “if another one of the assholes I work with tests me, I’m going to start punching.”

He rounds the corner into the kitchen, only to be met by broad shoulders and blond hair. He blinks at Erwin, standing at the stove with Levi’s stupid old apron on. It’s pink, with big black letters on that front that invite you to kiss the cook. It’s also about two sizes too small on Erwin, and Levi has to work hard to suppress his laughter. “My, Isabel, you sure do look different today, did you cut your hair?”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Erwin replies, turning back to the stove. “She let me in and went out for the night.”

“Right,” Levi says, suspicious. He approaches the kitchen island cautiously. Croissant is sitting on one of the stools, flicking her fluffy tail and watching Erwin intently. He sits on the stool next to her and reaches over to pet her head.

“I mean,” Erwin continues, pushing the contents of the pan around slowly, “she told me you were having a bad week and invited me over. Y’know, to help make you feel better.”

While he has never met them, Levi knows that Erwin has friends of his own. Which, as Levi understands it, loosely translates to having something better to do with his time. He doesn’t say that, though, because the last time he brought it up, Erwin just looked really sad and said, “What could be better than this?” Levi felt guilty for a whole week after that.

“I have this whole thing planned for tonight, so you can just go sit down and relax,” Erwin explains, reaching over to turn the kettle on. “I’ll bring a cup of tea out for you.”

Levi starts to protest, but Erwin gives him a look of pure don’t even try that’s somehow scary enough to scare Levi, of all people, into just shutting up and following instructions.

He heads into the living room, taking off his blazer on the way and folding it up neatly, placing it carefully on one of the armchairs. He throws himself down onto the couch, clicking the on button on the TV remote. He doesn’t really indulge himself on TV at all, but flips the channel until he lands on the opening song of this soap opera that he and Isabel started watching ages ago. She slowly lost interest and stopped watching, but Levi still catches up on it every now and then.

Erwin comes in and sets a mug down on the coffee table, taking care to put a coaster down first. Levi watches as he meticulously shifts the coaster around until it’s in the exact spot (more or less) that Levi puts it every time he uses it. He softly kisses Levi on the forehead on his way out, having said nothing about his evening TV viewing choices – Levi sighs in relief at that.

Levi takes a big gulp of his tea and sits back. He swims in and out of consciousness for a little bit, only half paying attention to his show. It’s been such a long and shitty week that he can’t even watch his favourite soap opera for longer than ten minutes without just wanting to fall asleep immediately.

The next thing he knows, Erwin is standing over Levi and gently shaking his shoulder. “Dinner’s ready,” he says softly when Levi opens his eyes.

Levi groans and crawls off of the couch, still half asleep. His soap’s credits sequence is playing on the TV, so at least he hasn’t been asleep for too long. He follows Erwin to the dining room, yawning obnoxiously loudly as he trails slowly behind him. “Thanks for making dinner,” he mumbles. “I’m so exhausted, I probably would’ve forgotten to eat again.”

Erwin laughs quietly. “Yeah, Isabel mentioned that you haven’t been eating properly.”

“Figures,” Levi sighs, sitting down at the table. There’s a big bowl of spaghetti bolognese (with real meat) in front of him, and a big loaf of garlic bread in the middle of the table. “Oh God,” he moans, reaching straight for the end piece of the loaf. “I am so in love.”

He doesn’t even try to back-peddle on that – he just immediately blocks it out of his memories and shoves the entire slice of garlic bread into his mouth at once. Thankfully, Erwin just sits down and doesn’t mention it at all, looking noticeably redder in the face.

Levi scarfs down his dinner in record time, downing an entire glass of water afterwards. “You’re too good at this,” he sighs. “Maybe you should be our live-in chef.”

“I’m sure Isabel will be very happy to hear that,” Erwin replies. “And Croissant, of course. She was absolutely screaming at me when I got here.”

“Stupid fucking cat.” Levi says it with all of the love he can muster. After all, they’re not that dissimilar when it comes to Erwin these days – always wanting to spend time with each other. He almost rolls his eyes at himself – he’s turned into such a fucking sap, it almost makes him sick.

They sit there for a little longer while Erwin finishes his own dinner, keeping up quiet casual conversation. Levi slowly eats away at the rest of the garlic bread, despite having eaten way too much and way too quickly. The bread is just so good, though, that he can’t resist.

Erwin takes their plates to the kitchen and gets to tidying up. Levi rests his chin in his hands and watches him work. He cleans up thoroughly and efficiently, and fuck, Levi should not be as turned on by that as he is – and yet…

Before he fully realises he’s doing it, Levi gets up from his seat and approaches Erwin, turning him around and kissing him straight on the lips. Between the tea, dinner, cleaning up afterwards, and just being here in general – Levi just can’t resist. He has always been independent, never relying on anyone, but letting Erwin look after him for just one night is just so refreshing.

Levi pulls back slowly and watches as Erwin stands there with his eyes still closed and his lips still parted and looking so beautiful; and before he can stop it, a little voice in his mind says, “Fuck, I’m in love with you.”

“Oh,” he says, out loud. It’s the first time he’s ever allowed himself to think about it. It slipped out, really – he’s been in denial about it for months now, shoving any thought even beginning with L deep into a little locked box in his mind.

Erwin opens his eyes and raises an eyebrow. He replies with a quiet, “Oh?” in return.

Levi laughs nervously, pulling away and backing the fuck up and out of Erwin’s general vicinity as fast as he can. He’s suddenly sweating buckets, and he can feel it sliding down his back – taunting him. “Oh!” he repeats. “Would you just look at the time.” He pulls his sleeve up to reveal his watch-less wrist. “I should go take a shower.”

Erwin looks conflicted for a second, cocking his head to the side like a confused dog, but he suddenly perks up and reaches out to grab Levi’s arm before he can run off to the bathroom. Any reaction to Levi’s sudden weirdness is thrown out the window as a shy smile spreads across his face. “Wait here a minute. I was going to draw you a bath as a nice surprise.” He pauses. “Well, I suppose it’s not much of a surprise now, but…”

“Oh,” Levi says again. He cringes at his overuse of the word and digs his nails into his palm, cursing this ridiculous gay panic. “That sounds good.”

Erwin happily trots off towards the bathroom, leaving Levi to stand around awkwardly in the kitchen. It’s almost too good. Dinner and a bath wouldn’t exactly be the most luxurious thing in the world in a lot of people’s eyes, but the most that Levi has ever gotten in terms of – he guesses – romantic gestures, is a one-night stand ordering food to his house after sex.

Erwin is making things very difficult for him, indeed.

While he’s in the kitchen, Levi busies himself with feeding Croissant for the night. The spoilt little cat meows loudly at his feet as he’s tipping a tin of Fancy Feast onto her plate. He puts the plate down for her and she immediately goes for it, scarfing the entire thing down in record time. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she was being starved to death.

Levi squats down next to Croissant and strokes her back while she eats. It must be nice to be a cat, he thinks. Sitting around all day, not having to go to work or file taxes. Or deal with the feelings that you’ve been repressing for your friend-with-benefits, that have now reared their ugly little head despite how far you try to shove them down.

Not that Levi is bitter about it or anything.

Erwin calls out to him from the bathroom, and Levi gives Croissant one final scratch under the chin before he heads off to the bathroom.

He’s not sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t a bathroom filled to the brim with candles, a portable speaker playing quiet classical music, and a bath full of bubbles. Erwin is sitting down on the edge of the toilet lid, looking nervous as all hell.

It’s romantic, that’s for sure.

And all Levi can do is just start laughing. To make it worse, the sad, dejected look on Erwin’s face just makes him laugh even more. “Oh, God- Erwin, no, don’t worry,” he huffs. “This is really lovely, I swear.”

He’s not sure he’s ever referred to anything as lovely before in his life, but he’s being truthful. He forces his face back into a neutral expression and crosses over to the other side of the bedroom in a couple of strides, taking Erwin’s face in his hands and kissing him. “Really. Thank you.”

Levi starts to undress himself, placing his folded clothes in a neat, ordered pile on the counter by the sink. He can feel Erwin’s eyes burning into him as he takes off his underwear, and then even hotter still as he steps carefully into the bathtub and sinks down into the water. He sighs, and closes his eyes, and suddenly all of the stupid shit from the past week melts away in a mix of green tea scented bubble bath and vanilla candles. Fuck, it feels good.

“Are you going to join me or just sit there and stare at me like a creep for an hour?” Levi asks, rolling his head to face Erwin.

Erwin is hardly able to hold his excitement as he gets to his feet, taking his clothes off in record time. Levi sits forwards so that Erwin can slip into the tub behind him. The tub is pretty big, but Erwin still has to bend his knees to be able to sit in it. It’s still comfortable though, and Levi lets Erwin wrap his arms around his waist and pull him back against his chest.

With Erwin’s lips pressing little kisses against his cheeks and his fingers stroking little circles on his ribs – this may be the most relaxed he’s ever been.

--

After they get out of the bath and dry off, Erwin leads Levi to the bedroom. As if dinner and a bath weren’t enough, he gets Levi to lie naked and face-down on the bed for a massage. Erwin puts down a towel, brings a couple of candles in from the bathroom and sits, also naked, on the back of Levi’s knees.

The massage oil is cold as it drips onto his back, but it smells like coconut and it soon warms up when Erwin’s large hands glide up from the base of his spine to his shoulders. His entire body feels like it’s melting into the sheets as Erwin works out some of the most egregious knots in his shoulders and neck.

Levi sighs contentedly. “You better not have anything else planned. This is already so much.”

“This is the last thing,” Erwin chuckles. He leans over Levi’s body, pressing his chest against his back and kissing the back of his neck, and moving a short distance down his spine. “I promise.”

All Levi can do whilst Erwin is massaging his entire body is just lie there and moan quietly. He’s not really the type of guy to get massages, so he doesn’t have anything to compare it to, but Erwin does a damn good job at it. It’s hard for him to believe that anyone could do any better – especially when Erwin lightly presses his fingers between the tops of Levi’s thighs, sliding them up and cupping his buttocks firmly in his hands. From that point on, Levi is almost painfully hard.

He starts to squirm in his spot – not out of discomfort or anything, but pure anticipation. It’s obviously turning out to be one of those sorts of massages; especially with Erwin’s erection pressing firmly between his thighs. Levi isn’t exactly complaining about it, but Erwin sure is taking his sweet time to move onto anything further.

“Okay,” Erwin mumbles, sitting up on his knees a little bit. “Turn around.”

Levi flips himself over, raising his arms up to cover his eyes. Erwin applies more oil onto his hands and Levi can’t help but sigh as his hands move up his stomach and press into his chest. His gentle fingers circle Levi’s nipples, and God, he’s never felt so sensitive there in his life. He gasps loudly and arches his back when Erwin finally brushes the pads of his thumbs over them.

“Fuck, fuck,” Levi hisses, squeezing his eyes shut. His cock is throbbing and leaking against his stomach. Thankfully, Erwin decides not to tease him too much this time and goes straight into slowly moving his palm up the shaft of Levi’s cock before loosely wrapping his hand around it. He uses his other hand to nudge Levi’s legs apart and rub against his inner thighs, eventually sliding down between his cheeks to caress his perineum. It almost feels like too much stimulation, but in a good way. Honestly, he feels a little cheated that none of the hand jobs he’s ever received have felt like this.

Erwin’s hands speed up, his fingers inching further down to press and rub up against his entrance. Levi draws in a sharp breath when his middle finger finally penetrates him. He doesn’t take his time in sliding his finger further in, eliciting a loud moan from Levi when he crooks his finger up into his prostate.

He seems to be getting a lot of satisfaction in the reactions he’s getting from Levi, if the soft smile on his face is anything to go by. “How are you feeling?” he asks, tightening his grip a little bit.

Levi sighs, “Good, good,” and lifts his legs up a little bit for easier access. Erwin takes it as an opportunity to add in another finger, pressing a firm kiss onto Levi’s knee. His fingers press up against Levi’s prostate at the same moment his other thumb rubs against his frenulum, and Levi’s whole body twitches almost violently. Erwin raises a thick eyebrow at that, letting out a soft, “Oh?”

Having found the sweet spot, he sticks to stroking those two places in particular, and the more he strokes, the more vocal Levi gets. It’s the loudest he’s ever been during sex – which isn’t that much of a challenge to beat, since he was usually strangely quiet. But the noises he’s making are downright pathetic. Even so, coupled with the fact that he’s legitimately panting and his body keeps twitching involuntarily, he can’t bring himself to feel too embarrassed about his body’s reaction to the stimulation.

His orgasm builds up in the pits of his stomach, tingling up his spine, and Erwin just keeps speeding up little by little. Luckily for Levi, it doesn’t take too long for his entire body to explode with pleasure – and explode it does. Levi comes, and his whole body shakes with it, and it just keeps going. His pathetic little moans evolve into frantic crying – so bad that he has to shove his face into the sheets to muffle most of it. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck,” Levi hisses, scrunching his eyes shut and practically crying into the sheets. “Fuck, I love you, Jesus fuck.”

Tears roll down his cheeks as his body starts to calm down a little bit, and he manages to wipe them away with the back of his hand. Erwin doesn’t say anything – he just strokes Levi’s hair and leans in to press little kisses on his forehead.

They lie there for a few moments, Erwin whispering praise in Levi’s ear as he tries to calm down and stop the physical aftershocks of his orgasm. It takes him a good ten minutes for his body to finally settle and stop feeling like it’s floating. He looks up at Erwin, and then it clicks. Oh no.

“That was… um,” Levi starts. He digs his fingernails into the palms of his hands and cringes internally. Erwin is looking back at him with wide eyes. There’s no way he missed it. Change the subject as quickly as you can. “I think you’ve killed me.”

“Is that good or bad?” Erwin asks, giving Levi a pitiful little smile.

“Good,” Levi confirms. “I totally blacked out for a minute there. Like… I almost have no idea what happened.”

Erwin looks a little confused, but Levi just chooses to ignore it and rolls away. He sits up, and immediately his vision floods with static. He groans and waits a few moments before he crawls off of the bed. His legs nearly give way when he stands up, but he manages to stay on his feet and pull on his underwear without falling over. “I’m going to shower this oil off of me.”

“Good idea.”

“Are you staying the night…?” Levi asks warily, completely unsure of whether he wanted him to or not.

“I’d like to stay,” Erwin confirms.

“Okay.” Levi stands there awkwardly for a beat too long, before basically sprinting down the hall and into the bathroom. He closes the door behind him a little bit too hard and leans his back against the door, sliding his hands over his face.

Fuck.

--

“You did what?!”

Levi just sits there, looking down at his hands in shame. Needless to say, Isabel didn’t take the news of Levi accidentally telling Erwin he loved him and then completely back-pedalling – y’know, like a coward – very well. She leans forwards and smackshim on the head. “Ouch, you bitch!” Levi yelps, grabbing his head. “What was I supposed to do?!”

“Oh, gosh, I don’t know, maybe just fucking tell him how you feel?” Isabel exclaims.

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Isabel counters. “You’re both obviously crazy for each other. Are you that stupid?”

All Levi can do is shrug. While it is true that he is a bit crazy about Erwin, he’s not really sure if he loves him. It’s not like he has anything else to compare to – he’s never been in a relationship or even really liked anyone before, so how should he know whether or not he’s in love with Erwin? They’ve been seeing each other for a while – longer than Levi has ever seen anyone by a longshot – and Levi cares about him just as much as he cares about Isabel and Farlan, but that doesn’t necessarily have to mean that he’s in love.

And what if Erwin doesn’t feel the same way about him? When Levi said that he loved him, Erwin didn’t say anything back. Granted, the entire situation was awkward and weird, but… He didn’t say anything about it then, and he hasn’t said anything about it since.

Isabel sighs, throwing her head down into her hands. “Why are you like this?” she groans, and Levi suddenly feels like a child who’s being lectured by his teacher. She lifts her head. “Do you remember when I was dating Sophie? And for months she was the only thing I talked or thought about. Like, it was so bad that you started spraying me with water every time I even said her name.”

“Yeah?”

“You sit around waiting for him to message, and if he’s not here you mope around the house all day until he asks if he can come over.”

“I don’t mope,” he argues.

…

Okay, maybe he does mope a little.

Isabel flaps her hand in his direction. “Whatever. I’m basically saying that you’re acting exactly like I used to, and it’s so obvious.” She sighs and leans forwards towards him. “Look. It’s okay if you don’t feel ready to tell him. If you’re too scared to acknowledge that you love him, or if you don’t think you do just yet, you don’t have to do anything at all.”

For the first time in a longtime, Levi doesn’t know what to do.

Maybe he is falling in love, but where does he go from there? If Erwin tells him that he loves him, do they start calling each other boyfriends? The idea of calling someone his boyfriend at thirty fucking years old just feels so weird to him – hell, it would’ve felt weird to him as a kid. And if Erwin doesn’t feel the same way and doesn’t want to see him anymore, what will he do then? He can’t even begin to imagine his life without Erwin in it anymore.

The idea of losing Erwin makes him feel sick.

Levi groans and throws his head back. “God fucking damn it,” he sighs. He brings his hands up to his face and digs his fingers into his eyelids. “I’m going to have to tell him for real, aren’t I?”

Chuckling, Isabel leans over to pat Levi’s knee. “Good luck.”

--

He doesn’t have anything close to a coherent plan in mind, but Levi invites Erwin over on the following Saturday.

He arrives at Levi’s house at noon with a paper bag full of different kinds of doughnuts and a cappuccino for Levi, who drinks it so fast that it burns his throat on the way down. The caffeine calms him down a little bit, but his hands are still shaking as Erwin says hello to Croissant, shouts his greeting to Isabel in her room, and throws himself down onto the couch.

He needs to say something.

Despite Levi’s jittery nerves, Erwin seems to be acting exactly the same as he always does. He smiles up at Levi and pats his knees, beckoning him to come and sit down. Levi complies, slowly slinking over to climb into Erwin’s lap. He pulls Levi down, kissing him on the mouth and sliding a hand up the back of his shirt. He idly strokes Levi’s back, fingers skimming over the ridges of his spine and causing Levi to melt even further into Erwin’s embrace.

Levi sighs happily, his hands immediately finding their place in Erwin’s hair and pushing his fingers through to separate the shitty hair-wax that he insists on using.

He really needs to say something. How hard does it have to be to tell someone that you love them, when you’ve already said it before?

But Erwin is warm, despite how cold it is outside, and Levi can feel himself finally calming down for the first time all day. Why does he even have to bring it up? It would be so much easier to just wait until Erwin brings it up himself. Or until he gets sick of him, Levi supposes – which would probably be so much worse, now that he thinks about it.

Winter is finally creeping up, and the more time he spends with Erwin, the more he begins to dread the idea of spending the season alone. He doesn’t peg himself for a particularly traditional person, nor a romantic, but spending the holiday season without him there would just feel wrong. Seeing people in their happy couples never really bothered Levi too much in the past, but there was always the tiniest feeling inside of his chest that felt a little too much like loneliness. Not to mention that they’ve all already gotten so used to Erwin being around, and Levi is in way too deep.

Erwin eases up, nudging his lips against Levi’s gently and slipping his hand down to his ass. He hums contentedly as Erwin’s long fingers dig firmly into his skin, acting as a way to pull him closer. His lips slowly find their way down Levi’s neck, and Erwin gently nudges his Adam’s apple with his tongue, eventually attaching onto his neck and sucking and licking its way down to his collarbone. There’s a sharp curl of pleasure deep within Levi’s core, and he can’t help the startled hiccup that forces its way out of his mouth.

“Fuuuck, alright.” Levi pulls back from Erwin suddenly and scrambles to climb off of his lap.

Erwin’s eyebrows shoot up and he sits up, carefully folding his hands in his lap. “What’s wrong?”

“God, um…” Levi shifts nervously. He wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans, sinking his teeth into the inside of his bottom lip. “You know, the other night. When I said… That I. Love you. Or whatever.”

Erwin blinks slowly at him. “I… didn’t think you’d want me to bring it up.”

“Yeah, well…” Levi digs his fingernails into his thigh and looks away. “I guess I’m bringing it up.”

“Okay,” Erwin says slowly. “You’re going to say that you didn’t mean it, right? Like, you just said it in the moment.” He sounds pretty sure of himself, Levi notices. He wonders if Erwin went through it in his head over and over, trying to convince himself that he didn’t mean it – just like Levi did.

Levi shrugs. “I did say it in the moment,” he confirms. He hazards a glance at Erwin for a second, and looks into his eyes, and sees just how startled he seems. There really isn’t any way he can’t tell him now, and the worst Erwin can do is reject him. It will only mean years of crippling embarrassment and loneliness for Levi, but he’s sure he’s been through worse in his life.

He takes a deep breath and turns around so that he isn’t facing Erwin anymore. Here goes. “The thing is,” he starts, slowly, “I think I do. Love you.”

There it is.

He did it, he did it, he did it.

Levi lets go of the huge sigh that’s been weighing him down all day. He’s still absolutely shitting himself, but it feels great to finally get it off of his chest. He has never laid his heart out to anyone like this before. He takes a couple of moments to breathe and slowly turns around to look at Erwin again. And… Erwin just staring at him with his mouth open was not exactly the reaction he thought he would get.

“I was–” Erwin’s voice cracks, and he clears his throat “…not expecting that.”

Levi is suddenly hit by a rush of oh fuck, oh God, oh no, and slowly pulls further back. He’s not sure exactly what he was expecting himself – total and complete rejection, maybe, but not… awkward, stunned silence. He can’t even run away, because it’s his house. Fuck, he knew he should’ve done it at Erwin’s place.

Still, he considers bolting anyway because he doesn’t think there is anything he has ever hated more than telling someone that he loves them for the first time and just getting stared at.

He’s just about to stand up and make his escape, but Erwin leans forwards and places a hand gently onto his thigh. “Tell me again.”

Levi clears his throat, and suddenly he’s completely nervous all over again. “I think I’m in love with you,” he mumbles. For good measure, he tentatively adds, “Erwin.”

Erwin suddenly leans in closer, pressing a hard kiss onto Levi’s mouth and sliding a hand up into his hair. He wraps an arm around Levi’s waist and pulls him in closer until their chests are pressed up against each other. He pulls back slowly, and he’s smiling, and he says, “I think I’m in love with you, too,” and Levi feels the weight lift off of his shoulders.

“You kept me waiting a little too long for that, y’know?” Levi says, leaning back. “I thought you were about to get up and leave.”

“I’m sorry.” Erwin chuckles, and kisses him again. “I would never do that to you, I promise.”

“That’s okay,” Levi says, just about melting. He pulls Erwin on top of him and kisses the hell out of him.

--

In all of the years that Levi has known Isabel, there has never been anything that has stopped her from going all out for Christmas, and this year is no different. She buys her presents months in advance, and absolutely insists on decorating immediately after Halloween.

Levi hates it. He hates Christmas, and he hates decorating, but it’s not like he could stop her. That would just be wrong.

Most of all, he hates the Christmas tree. He hates how the plastic leaves scratch his hands, and how difficult it is to screw it into the shitty metal stand, and he can’t stand the fact that Isabel and Farlan seemingly have no eye for decoration. They just throw ornaments and tinsel of all colours onto the tree and call it a day. It’s genuinely painful, and Isabel is lucky that he loves her so much. And if he subtly fixes her decoration monstrosities every now and then, no one has to know.

Levi watches in horror as Isabel haphazardly throws green tinsel onto the tree, completely covering up at least five of the baubles Levi had hung himself. She smirks sideways at Levi, and he concludes that there’s no way she isn’t doing it on purpose.

Beside him, Erwin chuckles quietly to himself and leans over to wrap an arm around Levi’s shoulders. “I can’t believe you’re just letting her do this,” he notes. “You must be more whipped than I thought.”

“He is!” Farlan says happily, tossing another string of tinsel at the tree. It lands almost directly on top of another string, and they just leave it there. Because they’re monsters.

Levi grumbles, crossing his arms. “She does it on purpose because she knows I can’t say anything about it,” he explains. He has to try extra hard not to cringe in disgust. “Christmas is the only time of the year where I’m not allowed to complain.”

Humming in what Levi chooses to believe to be a sympathetic manner, Erwin pulls on Levi’s shoulders until his head is resting in his lap. He takes the opportunity to curl up and shield his eyes from the horror unfolding in front of him, and pretty much melts into the couch as Erwin runs his fingers through his hair.

“And there’s still two months of Christmas left!” Isabel exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Yay,” Levi responds, completely unenthusiastically.

As November rolls on into December, Erwin and Farlan start to spend nearly every day at the house. It starts with Farlan, who usually spends most of the holidays with them every year, and Levi supposes that Erwin just follows his lead. It makes sense, he supposes, since Erwin doesn’t really have family to spend time with during the holidays either.

He wouldn’t admit it, but Levi is the happiest that he’s ever felt now that Erwin is around every day. They slowly fall into new routines, and it definitely helps that Erwin has plenty of time to bake holiday-themed treats. Whilst they both have time off of work, it’s easy to slip into a comfortable state of sitting down in front of the TV, cooking, “family bonding night” with Isabel and Farlan, and making out all week.

Levi can’t remember ever being excited for Christmas, but he bought Erwin an expensive Damascus-patterned Santoku knife, and there are some nights where he genuinely can’t get to sleep from how excited he is to see the look on his face when he gives it to him – and sometimes, from how nervous he is at the thought that Erwinn won’t even like it.

On Christmas Eve, he waits no later than 12:03am to sit Erwin down in front of the fireplace and give him the meticulously wrapped giftbox that has been giving him so much anxiety lately. He watches with a full heart as Erwin takes his time to unwrap it, being extra careful not to tear the wrapping paper or crease the nice ribbon that Levi used. He takes the lid off of the fancy wooden box that the knife resides inside, taking his sweet time as though he knows exactly how much the anticipation is killing Levi.

“Oh wow,” is all Erwin says once he sets the lid down. He gently picks up the knife and turns it around in his hands, not even attempting to stifle the huge grin that crosses his face. “This is lovely, Levi. I’m almost a bit scared to use it, it’s so nice.”

Levi just shrugs. “It can just be for decoration.”

Erwin gently puts the knife away and leans forwards to land a hard kiss on Levi’s mouth, “Thank you so much. I love it.” He adds, “I love you,” and Levi can’t help but push him down onto the floor and crawl on top of him. The world outside is slowly filling up with white snow and holiday chill, and the crackling fireplace isn’t the only thing keeping them so warm on their first of many Christmases together.

[you-are-worth-the-wait]

I don’t know. Sometimes I just wonder why things happen or play out the way they do. I don’t understand it sometimes. Maybe it’s because I’m on the outside looking into situations that I feel people should be able to solve, see, or figure out. Instead, what they do or continue to do causes them more pain and grief. I always felt that common sense would somehow prevail. But I do also know that when you are involved in it or it’s happening to you, common sense isn’t as common.

Would you believe that even if someone were to see those posts as being directed at people, those could as well be directed at me. For every thought or critique that I could have of someone and/or of people and their choices, I can get just as frustrated at myself. I told you about how comically sad it can be for me when I think bad or negatively about myself that I can’t help but be an observer on the outside and laugh at my situations or how I perceive things. I still wear my dog tags for inspiration to help me when I’m feeling a certain way. I end up to the stating, “I can do better. I can be better.” I know I can. I expect that from myself. I want that for myself. And when I find myself back or stuck in a situation that I feel/know I shouldn’t be in…I get…sad. I get frustrated at people’s thoughts, words, and actions but it could just as well be a reflection of myself. I’ve stopped certain trains of thoughts that I used to run wild with. I’ve stopped certain actions afraid of the consequences. I’ve stopped myself from saying certain things that I want to say because, sometimes, I’m just lost.

I told you before that the only reason why i posted on FB was for you. Once you took yourself off of it, who/what was i posting for? You told me what I may say or maybe even pictures could be used against you. I didn’t want to do that. So maybe I just stopped at some point. I don’t know. Those experiences and trips you talk about, I want to share them with you. As far as randomly publicly, I don’t know. I’ve thought about it. I have. I want to. But at the same time, I don’t. At this point in time, I’m okay with keeping those experiences and memories to/for myself. I tell you about what I do and where I go because I want you to be a part of it. Sharing that with you and select people is more than enough for me. Honestly, there are a lot of pictures I could post and I’d love to share but…my heart is not in it to post/share with others at this time. I’ve changed my profile pic every now and then when the fancy arises. What I’ve posted, it may look like a critique of others but it also comes from a critique of myself. Maybe if I had known you were looking at my FB, then I’d have a reason to post something worth “admiring/seeing.”

At one of the welcome centers at Virginia as their slogan within the O says, “Virginia is for lovers.”

Those two random signs cuz, you know, it’s obvious to us but would I really say that. Well, one of them I would and people would agree to it.

A couple of the first few photos we took when we arrived early in the morning after our overnight flight to Richmond, VA.

I guess if I had the proper motivation to share/post pictures, these are the types I’d be posting. I can still appreciate the randomness, beauty, hilarity , and whatnots of moments when I am there. I will take pictures of things maybe others wouldn’t. I’ll see things and have no idea why I want to take pictures but I do anywayz because something compelled me to do so at that moment.

[chaotic-bells]

I was tagged by @imbellarosa and @justalarryblog 😊 thank you! And sorry for the delay and rambling lol

my check in tag

This is a bit long... so I’ll just add the break not to bother people with my ramblings. 

1. Why did you choose your url? I created tumblr because of a fanfic, and I've been reading them since I was 11. And I will always love fanfic. Fanfic is the answer to all life's problems and bad canons. I can't imagine living in the world where I don't have fanfic to continue a world I love or to fix issues in a world that was promising, or just to wait until the next bit of canon came out. You have to imagine I started reading fanfic when there were only 2 Harry Potter books available and I was waiting for the translation of the third one (that came out end of 2000, and yes I was reading fics by then). So yeah... I wanted something related to fanfics, and I really am terrible about online identities. Probably should've used something more creative, but oh well. I like it well enough now, it is one that applies to all fandoms I love.

2. Any side-blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them. Yes, I have @randomsideposts as my attempt to create a tag system and save my favorite posts. I failed. I also have @kenshin-and-maki for my cats, and a third unnamed one as sort of a journal/vent blog, for those times I just need to write stuff down and I don't want to keep things to myself. No one follows me and that's the way I like it. It's kind of dark.

3. How long have you been on tumblr? A year and a half only lol a baby by Tumblr standards.

4: Do you have a queue tag? Me? Organization? What? Jokes aside, I don't really like queueing stuff. I'm either here or I'm not. I'll schedule a post for a random future time, just so I don't forget the post, but a time I know I'll be online to interact with it/the reactions to it. I do that when (for example) Louis posts and I see posts that are not related to that that I'd like to reblog, but not right at that moment.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? Because of a cute Larry fic where Louis and Harry become mutuals without knowing they're the other one. I liked the dynamic they described of how Tumblr worked and I wanted to see if it really was like that, because my previous experiences with Tumblr were... confusing enough that I didn't stick around for more than 20 minutes.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? It's Louis and Liam, who are definitely my favorites. Don't get me wrong, I love all the boys, but Liam and Louis (and their friendship) are just really special to me. And this pic is just... so cute. Also, @whatagreatproblemtohave and @evilovesyou demanded either me or @promisethatillnevertell change our profile picture, and that we should duel to see who would keep it because it was getting confusing lol (it was one of the outtakes of the House of Solo photoshoot). I would never fight Lou so I changed it. And I love it because it has my two boys 😁💕

7. Why did you choose your header? Because the livestream was so awesome and even if it's blurry i like it. Also, I never use the desktop version of Tumblr so it's probably a mess, but I like what I see on my mobile so it'll stay.

8. Whats your post with the most notes? Probably my Youtube comments about Louis? I know it has over 1k notes, which... wow.  Also, my little wistful post about keeping the livestream format after lockdown did ok too.

9. How many mutuals do you have? No clue, but I love them all.

10. How many followers do you have? 900 or so.

11. How many people do you follow? 654 blogs

12. Have you ever made a shitpost? Who hasn't?

13. How often do you use tumblr a day? No clue, dozens of times. I won't scroll too far down, just enough to distract me for a couple minutes while I'm waiting for something to load or if my brain needs a break from work.

14. Did you once have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won? I've argued before with a Liam blog at the end of the LP Show 2, but it was a misunderstanding, I didn't express myself the way I wanted to. Pretty sure a bunch of Liam blogs have me blocked because of it still. Other than that, I'm pretty peaceful, and I really try to just stay out of drama.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog” posts? I hate them. It is a passive aggressive way of someone thinking their opinion is better than yours, usually has a comment like "if you don't reblog you don't care about this" or "I don't care if it doesn't fit my blog asthetic, I'll reblog it anyway". Congrats? Do you want a star for it? I'll reblog it if I think it has important information, despite these annoying comments, but only once. If it's a post I've seen multiple times, then everyone saw it multiple times.

16. Do you like tag games? Love them, but recently I've been a bit lax. Once you start saving them in your drafts, it snowballs into unmanageable levels.

17. Do you like ask games? I love them, but whenever I reblog one I only get 1 or 2 asks. :(

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I... don't really care enough about that to keep track lol

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? Yes, but I won't put them on the spot

20. Tags? I don’t know if you’ve done this before, so feel free to ignore it? As usual @promisethatillnevertell @whatagreatproblemtohave @technicallysideacc @maybe-i-missyou @vintageumbroshirt @thedevilinmybrain @beckydoesthings

[yikesharringrove]

Steve being THAT BITCH and making an OnlyFans in college. He needs the cash since he ended up getting disowned by his dad (FUCK Mr. Harrington) It gets spread to the whole school and Billy ends up signing up and donating to him as a joke at first to look at his pics but then he sees one picture of him in a corset and is hea over heels. Possibly ends in smut? But definitely Billy asking him out at a party

modern au, they all met in college

Also fuck Bella Thorne. Sex work is work and she ruined OnlyFans for so many people. Just in case anyone was wondering where I’m at.

-

“Wait, who?” Billy blew smoke out towards Tommy as he asked, brows scrunching.

Tommy took the joint from him, taking another hit before answering.

“Steve Harrington. He was in that basic writing class we both took. He always asked like, really dumb questions.”

Billy thinks he can remember him. He remembers big dark eyes and long legs.

“He made an OnlyFans?”

“Carol said his dad like, kicked him out, or cut him off or something.”

That reverberated around Billy’s head for awhile.

He always knew he’d be on his own when he graduated high school, saved up accordingly.

But something about Harrington’s situation didn’t totally sit right with him.

So when he got back to his dorm, high as a fucking kite, he pulled up OnlyFans, and made an account.

He thought, hey, I’ll send this kid some money. Leave one of his stupid questions as a memo.

The worse thing that happens is he looks at a pretty cute boy’s nudes.

Not exactly a bad thing to happen.

He looked up Steve Harrington, scrolling through a few accounts until he found the big brown eyes he was looking for.

Steve was fucking hot, hotter than Billy remembers from two semesters ago.

His profile picture was good, he was sucking on a lollipop like it was a dick, his hair messy and eyes all sultry.

He had a few options.

Becoming a fan was only ten bucks a month, but he had some pay per view nudes too.

Billy entered his credit card information for the $30 one.

His brain short circuited.

He doesn’t really know what he was expecting, but he doesn’t think it was this.

Steve was lounging all pretty on a dorm bed, wrapped up in a black satin corset, and nothing else.

His dick was hard, angling up towards the corset, flushed red.

Billy stared at the photo. He clicked out of it, buying the $50 picture.

He didn’t care that he was probably gonna blow his last paycheck on this guy, especially didn’t care when the image came into view.

Steve was still in that fucking corset, but now he was kneeling in profile to the camera.

His head was thrown back, his long neck artfully exposed. His cock was still hard, an angry red, but now he was reaching behind himself, two fingers buried in his ass.

Billy was fucking hard.

He paid for the monthly membership price.

And there was access to Steve’s pictures.

He had lots of lingerie pics, obviously had a good quality camera, as the pictures were all well done, with nice lighting and all that shit.

He had several of himself just wearing little panties, some of him in full sets of pretty lingerie. 

Billy scrolled through his account, getting back to the pay per view at the bottom.

There was one video, fifteen minutes long, that was $150.

Riding my biggest dildo :)

Billy paid for it.

It opened with Steve sucking on the dildo, moaning and gagging on it.

Billy couldn’t get his dick out fast enough.

He moved back from the camera a bit, wiping at the drool running down his chin, setting the dildo on the floor. He was wearing nothing but a little skirt. It didn’t even cover his ass.

It was pretty big, probably four inches in diameter.

Once Steve had gotten it settled on it’s suction base, he bent over, pulling his cheeks apart and exposing his hole to the camera.

“Already prepped myself. Fingered myself for a while, but I didn’t let myself cum.” Billy’s cock kicked in his hand. He stroked over the head, squeezing it slightly.

And then Steve swung one leg to settle himself over the toy, and pushed down slowly.

He moaned, his eyes fluttering shut as he took the whole thing. Billy jerked himself a little faster.

“Feels so good. I love being stretched open like this.” He started bouncing shallowly, his hard dick easily visible in the tiny skirt.

He was bracing himself on the floor in front of him, completely blissed out as he bounced his ass up and down on the toy. 

“Shit, I’m so close. Been close for so fucking long.” He sighed, sinking slowly all the way down on the dildo. “Such a big cock.”

“Oh, Jesus.” Billy had to stop what he was doing, grabbing the base of his cock to keep himself from cumming. He really wanted to watch Steve fall apart.

Steve had started bouncing again, really getting into it this time.

Billy matched his pace with his hand, thought about Steve bouncing on his cock like that.

“Oh, I’m gonna, I’m gonna-” Steve convulsed, hips stuttering as he came completely untouched. He whined and mewled.

Billy stripped his cock faster and faster, his cock twitching as he came, spunk covering his hand.

Steve was still panting in the video, his thighs shaking as he pulled himself off the toy.

And then he bent down, and licked up the little puddle of cum on the wood floor.

Billy was hard almost immediately again.

He watched the video a second time.

-

Billy had been whacking off to Steve’s OnlyFans for a month when he finally saw him on campus.

He was pushing his way through the crowd at a frat party when he saw him.

He was wearing short denim shorts, a baggy t-shirt tucked into them.

He was pouring himself a drink, alone in the empty kitchen.

Billy licked over his lips, leaning next to him on the counter.

“Well, good to see you in person, Sugar.” Steve startled, turning wide eyes onto Billy.

“Oh, um, hi.” There was a little pink tinge beginning to dust his cheeks. “You’re Billy, right? I remember you from class last year.” Billy grinned at him. “You’re like, really smart.”

“And you’re like, really hot.” Steve flushed, his cheeks going dark red.

“So, uh, I’m assuming you’ve seen some of my stuff?”

“Paying member. I’ve seen all your stuff.” Steve’s eyes went wide. “And I’ll pay for some more.”

“Oh, um, I’m sorry, but it’s one thing to post that stuff, I don’t really want to-” Billy’s eyes went wide as he realized what he said, how it sounded.

“No! Oh, shit, I meant like, I want to take you out to dinner. Pay for that. Nothing implied, or expected.” Steve chewed on his bottom lip.

“I don’t put out that easy.”

“I’m not expecting you to.” Billy tried to keep face open as Steve studied him.

“Um, then, yeah. You can take me to dinner.” Steve wiggled his phone out his back pocket, shoving it in Billy’s hands. “I’ll text you so you have my number.” Billy tucked his phone back into Steve’s pocket, made him blush some more.

“Get me back soon, yeah? Wanna take you out quick.” Steve smiled softly at him.

“You wanna hang out tonight? My friend ditched me.” Steve was fidgeting with his drink, looking at Billy through his lashes.

“Yeah, Sweet Thing. Tell me all about yourself.”