#i love this girl but shes not really a girl!?!?!? waaaaahhhh???!!

[greghatecrimes]

OKAY YOU ASKED FOR IT THIS IS ME HAPPY RAMBLING ABOUT ITD LET'S GO

'You’re okay, Thirteen. I’ve got you.' - genuinely made me go eueueueueueue😭😭 😭😭😭 when I first read it... Ohhhh....

'His voice drips with mock-concern. “Was that too bright for you?”' - in! Character!I read that and was like 'yeah he'd say that' lmfao

Just the entirety of thirteen being so mad at House for leaving her alone... Like everyone else...

THE 'because you chose Wilson over-' I'm mad. I'm so dead. Help.

Thirteen flinching so many times 😭 oh my baby

Him recognising the chorea and her immediate attempt to shut it down :<

Thirteen trying to verbally force him out, and when that doesn't work, trying to physically claw him out

The 'im not leaving' ouughhh last resortcore...

Rem trying to hit him where it hurts by attacking Wilson ouuugh

'she throws herself at House's right side, ready to strike him down at his weakest point.' was she gonna go for the leg? 😭😭😭 sobbing.....

'future spelled out before her' NOT HER KNOWING WHAT'S TO COME WHEN SHE'S SLOWLY PASSING OUT RRRRRR

House tenderly cradle carrying her even though it reaaaally fucking hurts him this actually broke me btw

'as her father murmurs: Good night, Thirteen.' dad hallucination/memory symbolism. Her dad turning into House. Him saying such a paternal-like phrase.

'start running and never, ever stop–' ohhh sweetheart you've never stopped running. Even through working with house even after getting fired even now.. ohh......

Jay and the rabbit nickname in general. Jaybird, I love you..

her half laughing about the fact the overdose is killing her, nooo....

House stressedly growling at her cause she's half dead already WAAAAAHHHH

the foreman italics saga. 'the way she'd longed for after Kutner's suicide' girl who. Is going to scream cry over this

mmm anyways thanks you :3

OUSDHF:LKDS HAPPY RAMBLING ABOUT ITD??? THIS MADE MY DAYYY. Thank YOU and omg in return you are getting rambles back<3

"You’re okay, Thirteen. I’ve got you." - Genuinely I think that I made the same noise as you did reading it, when I wrote it. That was one of my favorite parts of chapter two to write, and it kills me a little bit that right now [as of the end of chapter three] Thirteen doesn't fully remember it

"Sorry. Was that too bright for you?" always makes me laugh a little LOL. I'm so glad you liked that line!! I was hoping it would come across how i was imagining it (in that almost like.... sardonic tone of House's, I can't think of the proper word to describe it).

Yeah. Thirteen is rightfully upset, and she's.... she thinks about it several times in chapter three, but she feels like she's always being left alone. When her mom died (headcanon/backstory that I've given her for ITD is that she felt very isolated in the immediate aftermath of her mom's death, even if her dad and brother were around physically), when Jay got sick, when she got her diagnosis, after killing Jay, etc. So she resents that he just... chose to leave her alone and "run away" with Wilson (alone in the sense that she had no one around to kill her, not that she was completely alone physically– she did have Amy (AMY!!! I am developing Amy and she's going to be big part of the story later, I'm SO excited for it.)) even after he promised her he would be there for her when the time came. Even after she admitted to him in 8x19 that the things he's done for her are probably the most selfless things anyone has ever done for her, ever! That's a big moment of vulnerability, and that kind of just got thrown back in her face (unintentionally on House's part), so it's quite a sting for her.

Writing the back-and-forth of her feeling so angry and resentful, but also wanting so badly to just... accept that he's back, that he might actually be there for her (but it has to be too good to be true, right? He left once, she's not falling for it again), was both a challenge and something I really, REALLY enjoyed. Anger and vulnerability (i.e. wanting reassurance) are both things that Thirteen usually tries not to show around other people. So I really loved getting to crawl inside of those feelings and pull out the anger and hope she hides away– both so childlike, really, in a way, because she keeps this part of her so tucked away from the world.

The "I'm not leaving" was absolutely 100% meant to be a nod to Last Resort, hehe. Nice catch >:3 And yes, in her hungover haze she was absolutely trying to go for his leg. (Not that she got very far with that, though.)

"House tenderly cradle carrying her even though it reaaaally fucking hurts him this actually broke me btw" I think in that moment he doesn't give a shit about how much it hurts; he's thinking that he almost just lost her, and he's not letting her go (read: die or run away) that easily.

"'as her father murmurs: Good night, Thirteen.' dad hallucination/memory symbolism. Her dad turning into House. Him saying such a paternal-like phrase." HEE HEE I have future imagery planned with this exact phrase so I'm so glad you liked it <3 That bit (her drug induced dream sequence that bled into reality as she woke up) was low-key probably my favorite to write in this chapter.

Re: her running away. ABSOLUTELY. She's always been running away from something in her life (because she's learned she has to be avoidant to survive, but writing about that in depth would be an entirely separate post) and I see it like these lyrics from Runs In The Family: "And running is something that we've always done well/And mostly I can't even tell what I'm running from"

Jay. JAY!!!!!!! I'm going to ramble a little bit about Jay. @x-birdsong-x has brainwormed with me so much and helped a TON in developing Jay (and ITD in general), he wouldn't be who he is now without her and all of our brainworms/convos (ty fren<3). Without spoiling too much of what I have planned for later chapters, here's what I will say about him: He is the best big brother in the world and he and Remy love each other so fucking much. They're about seven years apart. And the full nickname he has for her is "Remy Rabbit", but mostly it gets shortened to "Rabbit". He calls her that for her entire life- that and "Rem". When twelve year old Remy is upset after her mom's funeral, she goes and crawls into Jay's bed with him that night for the first time in a while, and that's the only way she gets any sleep. And when she confesses to Jay that she's worried their mom thought that Remy didn't love her, Jay's response is: [excerpt pulled directly from a planning doc I have] "...'You cared. You love Mom. Just the same as I do.' He glances down at her, thumbs the trailing tears off of her cheeks. 'Just the same as I love you'."

I love Jay so much, I'm going to die about it. You calling him Jaybird... that's so sweet... Bird recently said "Remy Rabbit and Bluejay" and I love both of those (Jaybird and Bluejay) so, so much.

THE FOREMAN ITALICS SAGA ASKDBH:GKJSE:GHKSDJFSDF THAT NAME FOR IT. I love that so fucking much, I just wasn't expecting it ougsdkghskdfds. That line about longing for comfort after Kutner's suicide-- ME I'm going to scream and cry over it, don't you worry, that line DESTROYS ME and haunts me and it will for the rest of my life. That bit from chapter three is legitimately one of my favorite things I think I have ever written:

THANK YOU for blessing my inbox with your thoughts/feelings/rambles!!! :D <3 It legitimately made my day, please please please always feel free to ramble in my inbox at any time! I can't tell you how happy it makes me when other people enjoy the fic I love writing :3

[peachesperfume]

"The Beast Beneath The Skirt". Bruh wtf

[kendall-coded]

Character ass breaking-down Pt II:

Actually really want to hear your answers for Stiles too pls :)

how i feel about the character:

i love stiles stilinski. full stop. i think he was the best character to come out of teen wolf. i like his relatability, the way they played on his human-ness but still showed that he was there more than anyone else. i like that he has experienced loss in the organic, human sense, and we got to see the manifestations of that in some parts of his personality as well as personal relationships. and i like his dynamic with his dad. i like that we get to see that sheriff stilinski isn’t perfect and how that affects stiles (the wolfsbane hallucination scene at lydia’s party). i like how we’re shown that, in a lot of ways, the sheriff wasn’t always the best parent, but we get to see that there is no doubt that he loves stiles and that stiles loves him back. i believe that we got a pretty accurate portrayal of a slightly complex father/son relationship with them under these circumstances. i also like how stiles was a good source of comedic relief, but that he is also the center of most of the top emotionally-charged scenes in the show. dylan o’brien did a phenomenal job bringing stiles to life, and i don’t think he would have been as impactful of a character were he played by anyone else.

who i ship them with romantically:

derek hale. duh. hashtag trauma bonding for life. i sort of mono ship stiles/derek. while i read fic for a couple of other pairings, i would say they’re my main and the one i enjoy the most. i think it is because they each typically bear the brunt of my emotional projection, so why not put them together, y’know. for maximum efficiency and maximum damage. they are so much alike yet so different. what more could you want ???

nonromantic otp:

stiles/scott brotp for the win. i love good friend scott. i eat it up. it makes me emotional thinking about how much they love each other. it’s sick, truly. while scott may not have been the best in the show, you better believe i am going to read the heck out of some stiles/scott brotp fics as well as write good friend scott until i drop dead. i just adore them together. and in the show as well, where we get to see those moments where their years of friendship really seep through and make certain scenes more powerful (mri hug scene, when stiles delivers his dialogue in that motel california scene). we all know what i’m talking about. see also my peter ask, i like the stiles/peter friendship dynamic as well, i think it can just be so funny.

unpopular opinion:

i don’t like stiles/lydia ): i like stiles, and i like lydia, but i do not like them together. this is not because i’m all boo hoo D: stiles belongs with derek !!!1!1!!1! waaaaahhhh. i just think lydia was mean to him ???? sort of unforgivably so, at least in my opinion. i also don’t find their respective personalities to be suitable for one another. in any case, i just did not think there was enough development to swipe their past under the rug, and i think it was a bit of a cop out to fulfill the trope of finally getting the girl you always wanted, you know. even when that girl repeatedly made it clear she wasn’t interested. (also …. lydia is gay. suppppppeeerrrrr lesbo vibes. sorry. you cannot change my mind)

one thing i wish would have happened with this character in canon:

i was actually talking about this with em, and it kind of relates to my unpopular opinion, but, you know, stiles is bi. like they got as close to confirming it without actually confirming it as you can possibly get. but, with stiles’ personality, he just seems, as a character, much more suited for a male partner. or a female partner who is more like him than some randomized female sim version of derek (cough cough stiles/cora cough cough stiles/malia). like if they would have actually taken a step back and evaluated the character they created and paired him with someone accordingly, it could have actually been really well done. because, in my opinion, stiles has small quirks that are better matched for a mlm relationship. or, they should have paired him with someone with kira’s personality type and lydia’s intelligence, then it would have been much more enjoyable and believable. it feels like everyone they put stiles with was so forced because they were trying to reiterate his “straightness” or highlight his role as the comedic loser who doesn’t know how relationships work ha ha ha rather than actually give him a suitable relationship dynamic as a character. basically, i would have just liked to see him with someone who matched his character better.