#i love them:[[ and i would kill for crypto to help her treat her sickness
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mirapteo · 1 year ago
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I CALL THEM BRAINSTORM >:3
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Actually all the legends are unique, so their illness /responses to being unwell would be unique as well as symptoms.
Wraith, phasing in and out with every sneeze. Having to be retrieved from portalling across the map while sleeping by literally any legend available, and possibly saved from ice or lava or general exposure. Sometimes they need Crypto's drone and Bloodhound's unerring tracking ability to find any trace of her; and Wattson & PAthfinder interface with the MARVNs for any sign of her. She's reluctant to take help, but can be convinced with enough persistent attention, affection and reminders that she is not burdening the other Legends in any way and they WANT to help her. When she phases, ironically, there are other sick Wraiths, and she sees how hard they have it without the other legends to help. Will never go to the infirmary of her own volition, reminds her of the facility she was being experimented on in, too much. Usually treated at her room at Mirage's house; Trust is hard for her given everything that has happened, but... they are building something here, between the legends and Wraith. She feels... sort of safe enough to fall asleep against Mirage or Rampart when she's unwell.
Mirage doesn't like being ill by himself, so all his duplicates are wandering around commisserating feeling ill. Or he uses them as the decoys they are bc he doesn't actually know what to do with full-on attention when he gets it, having been the last child of a busy mother. He jokes and tries to handle it himself, which works out 'fantastically'. It's all fun and games until you're being bridal carried out of the smoking wrekage of the kitchen, having set soup on fire bc you couldn't see well enough to read labels right, and now the tabloids are having a field day speculating about your relationship with [insert legend here]. May, if feverish, beg the watching legend(s) not to tell his mother he's sick, she would get worried. He is always told they won't tell her, and it's okay, mate. Rampart can be gentle when she needs to be, and uses jokes to lure him into doing what he needs to ("Either you go and lay down or I'm getting Shazza*, mate.") *Shazza is a wrench big enough to kill god.
Bangalore does not like down time, she is tough as hell and will try to work through it. Sure, might work, or maybe it makes her worse but she's got 5 generations of pride bred deep into her bones. A combination of persistent affection, compassion, and the threat of having her weakened ass kicked by Loba will eventually get her to consider taking a rest. Will be caught trying to do pushups or other make-up exercises, unless threatened with a sedative. Sometimes she gets bursts of energy, because her entire life is routine and strict discipline; so someone needs to be there to walk with her or talk or distract her during these times. Find a safe way to burn off that need to move. May terrify pathfinder and other legends by laying down for a nap and just straight up sleeping through her illness for like, a day and a half. She wakes up to a frantic Lifeline checking for her pulse, and laughs so hard she almost passes out again. IS one of those patients who despises being unwell and the burden she perceives it puts on others; will ironically make it worse by pretending she isn't. Other legends are fine-tuning their 'get Bangalore to just take a nap and also eat something without getting shot at' skills, at this time.
Rampart oscillates between 'She'll be right mate I'm fine" and "By the gods I am dying, help me plan my funeral, I do not want lillies, get me something fancy". She's a very fun-loving, hard-working larrikin of a legend and doesn't hesitate to say how she is feeling; to an extent of course. Doesn't like to really show the negatives all that strongly, even if she feels super safe. May initially try to drown her illness with alcohol, realise this doesn't work, and start asking Pathfinder to dictate her will when hte hangover (surprise) makes her feel worse. She will argue she definitely felt great when she was drunk though, so it sort of cancels out... May sneak off to her workshop to try and distract herself from feeling awful, and have to be bodily hauled away after falling asleep on a workbench. Rampart will often complain of feeling like an accordian after any adventure where she falls asleep in a weird position. Will happily accept pampering 'if she has to', and may take advantage of Mirage and Pathfinder's need to help, with slightly ridiculous requests. You know, sometimes laughter is the best medicine, and if Pathfinder pops in to cheerfully report that he looked all morning but cannot find a left-handed screwdriver... well, so be it. Mirage, on the other hand, has been googling 'where to buy strioed paint' for the last four hours and she doesn't have the heart to tell him the truth... "Must have been a limited edition, mate. C'mon, let's watch something.."
Bloodhound wants to be self sufficient, and may try to evade the others using their tracking abilities. Artur would bring them small rodents and the like to cook if they could not hunt. If they 'go camping' without any warning at all, Lifeline and Gibraltar normally go searching for them because it means Bloodhunter is sick as hell and wants to trouble no one. Crypto sometimes needs to use his drone, because they're amazing at hiding in plain sight. They've been told that seeking comfort from nature is fine, but take another legend, beause they don't want them dying in the woods somewhere without anyone around to at least do CPR. There are still prowlers and other beasts around that would love to lunch on an unconscious legend. Very reluctant to seek help, but that's why it is affectionately if somewhat aggressively given instead. They will insist on doing things the 'old way' in conjunction with the new, and that's fine. After all, there's no harm in a herbal steam bath, or using certain natural medications to help them feel stronger. All that matters is that they feel comfortable enough to accept help and not shut the others out; beause it worries the other legends.
Lifeline is one of those walking paradoxes/the worst kind of patient. Will heal anything that stands still for two seconds but will NOT admit to being ill herself. She has seen how bad some have it, and doesn't want to waste resources on herself; some guilt from her childhood priviledges there. It is noted that the only time Octane ever deliberately slows down, is when she's ill because this isn't something you can lob a grenade at and fix. Of course she appreciates his efforts in that 'younger sibling trying to help' way, but you can only have so many pillows, bowls of soup and hyper-speed fairytales told to you at one time. Sometimes Gibraltar has to be the one to subtly steer the speedster away, and use his Big Brother Glare to keep her in bed til she's well again. "Bud Ihm nod sig" she says with swollen eyes and a very stuffy nose." / "And I'm the queen of salvo, sistah, you better stay in that bed or I'm going to have to sit on you like a hen until you're better" / Laughter. She has also been tricked several times by the old, "I have this friend who is (lists all her symptoms) and I'm not sure how to help..." / "Oh, they need some bedrest, medication and (other stuff)." / "Excellent, then upsydaisy, [insert being tossed lovingly over a shoulder like an importantsack of potatos] it's off to bed with you sistah.") If all else fails, she did train Octane to tag with the sedatives... although she hates when it's used against her. Doc will keep her company no matter what, though, so at least there's that.
Crypto is so secretive that it takes a subtle eye to track if things aren't going well. You know he's sick if his drone is sneakily fetching things from the fridge or medicine cabinet; and then its a matter of getting Bloodhound to backtrack it to wherever Crypto's holed up this time. He's an elusive, private man, and will try to stonewall assitance, what with all his secret traps and escape tunnels, but no one can outsmart the legends when they're focused. A triple encrypted keypad is very effective... unless, of course, you have a demolitions expert on your team who can have it off its hinges in tn seconds flat and be making a terrible pick-up line at you in the same heartbeat (thanks Fuse). If he still evaded them, then Lifeline would be ruthless and get Wattson, who could convince Crypto to accept their assistance. It would take effort to ascertain how bad he's feeling, because he's used to keeping it close to the chest, but I think that Wattson could probably get the information, 'no secrets' and all. If all else fails, Wattson could get Caustic; the man will not show any real affection or care, but he can grab Crypto by the collar and hiss that Mistik would be very disappointed if her favourite little foster son was to die of something so... preventable, in the outlands, after all her years of care, because of stubborn pride. Which might just chagrin the elusive technomancer into accepting assistance; right after a massive argument about the pot calling the kettle black that Wattson might have to shock both of them into stopping. Begrudgingly, he accepts care, but if he runs his drone a little more frequently while being spoon-fed soup and painkillers to feel safe, that's fine with them. He is slowly starting to feel secure amongst his peers.
Gibraltar is a big man, with a laugh that shakes the sky. He would probably be just as bad as Lifeline though, not wanting to admit he's not well or that he needed any special attention. Just tell everyone he's having an off day, and needed a bit more time to get stuff done. Lifeline would remind him that if she needed downtime to get better, then so did he, come hell or high water he was getting some TLC. If she has to get Fuse, Mirage and Bloodhound to dogpile on him long enough for her to take a temperature reading, she will; and Ocatane is getting frighteningly good at hitting people with sedatives as he breezes past. Never realise you've been tagged until a good minute later. Gibraltar is a sick person who dislikes being alone, being quiet, so he needs the others to spend time with; and they rotate in/out with appropriate precautions. Masks, handwashing etc. If it's really bad, his dome shield has been tweaked by Crypto, with Rampart and Lifeline's input, to last longer and have a biofilter that scrubs the air to protect him and any visiting legend. He's pretty delighted with it, for the rescue applications on colonies that are having a pandemic, too. In the worst case scenario... he can always be threatened with a call to his family. He'd rather not have them panicked and on their way to handle him, the legends are less likely to baby him or hit him with the 'why are you so stubborn???" feels. Gibraltar will accept assistance with good humour, eventually.
Fuse is a unique kettle of fish, because he's very much a she'll be right kind of guy. On salvo, you keep any weakness on the downlow and play it off as a joke or an off day, because if someone you ticked off finds out... you're probably toast. Which means that sometimes he, even in a mildly delirious state, can rig the door with explosives, so trying to get him aid is very... tricky. A shield, or something that can remotely detonate the grenades is required; so often Gibraltar is asked to help, Crypto with his drone, or Wattson if available - her ultimate should insulate enough against the blast or automatic knuckle-cluster that comes right after the door blows off its hinges. Never be too careful on Salvo.
Like Rampart, he is one of those 'well, if I MUST be pampered, then I am absolutely going to have the best time I can" people. If he could get at least one of the legends to feed him grapes one by one, the whole cold nonsense would be worth it. Bit hard to keep him down, but he can usually be redirected back to bed... as long as the intercepting legend will dramatically groan or roll their eyes as he makes a "Only if you promise to come with me" style joke before collapsing into a coughing fit. Sometimes even Lifeline can't work out how the man is still standing, but no one thrives on Salvo unless they're a tough bugger, and that's why he's such a frustrating patient. There's no medical intervention he can't make into a pun or terrible pick up line, and the exaggerated wink really sells it. Gotta amuse yourself somehow in sickbay.
Horizon is a hard-working scientist, a mother, and someone who was trapped in space by herself for a long time. She's used to powering through feeling a little unwell and downplaying it. Oh, perhaps she complains to NEWT, but that's about it, doesn't want to bother anyone, after all. Mirage usually notices first, because he was used to his mother doing the same thing until... well, until reently. He tries to bring her things to make her feel better, and if that fails he makes a subtle suggestion to Lifeline or Gibraltar or Wattson that Horizon isn't well and he's a bit lost as to what to do. Horizon will try to downplay it, or tell them they're just overexaggerating and she's just fine, but after the first time (when they initially believed her until she straight up passed out mid-stride in the hallway) she gets the full and undivided attention of Lifeline and the others if she even coughs. Having someone hit the deck without any prior indiation, and a smile on her face, was a bit worrying.
Horizon will fight back a little, try to return to work, she needs to spend every waking moment working on how to get home. The others work around her, redirect her, remind her that her son wouldn't want her to make herself too sick to return to see him... etc. The guilt trip usually does the trick; and mirage can make himself overly helpful if he needs to... which can be a hinderance, but it is endearing all the same. Easiest to give her some slightly tricky issue with a technological item to fiddle with while she recovers.
Loba would rather die than ruin her aesthetic. It's also bad for her business and her health to let anyone know if she's compromised, that might help them to track her down, settle some old scores.
No, this is a woman who would sell you a facade of being at the peak of health, whilst on life support. What she cannot fake, cover with make-up or bluff about; she uses various digital tricks to cover over her pallid/ill complexion in messages to others. So it takes continuous check-ins with the physical Loba by her legend teammates in order to make sure she's not dead somewhere. Often Bangalore is the first to spot it, and makes a point of carrying her bodily to the informary for a full healthcheck and some meds. But, and here's the strangest thing, occasionally it's Revenent who outs her ailing health to the team. OF course, he claims there's no sport in watching her die unless its by his hands, slowly, and after he's taken everything she loves from her... but, well, who knows how the simulacrum works? Maybe there's a spark of something in there yet to be discovered. She's a petulant patient, still running deals and researching targets even when she barely has the energy to get up to go to the bathroom on her own; but it keeps her calm, focused and generally compliant, so what does it matter? At least one of the legends is posted by the infimary door around this time, because she doesn't feel safe to sleep otherwise (normally bangalore does it, but even she has to sleep sometimes).
Wattson does not like to bother anyone, and may retreat when she is not feeling ideal. Normally it makes her melanchlic, as she remembers with a pang, how her Papa used to take care of her when she was unwell... leading to thoughts of how she had cared for him, and how she missed him now.
Crypto or Caustic notice if she's missing first, they are always paying attention to her location for various reasons. Wattson will withdraw so as not to cause trouble, and the MARVNs do their best to provide the rudimentary care they can, due to that sneaky little subroutine of her Papa's. However, they can only do so much.
Crypto will check in, and go find Lifeline or Gibraltar or Bangalore, if she needs medical assistance / immediate first aid. He has carried her to the infirmary at least once, as she protested that she was fine and he was being silly. Caustic, on the other hand, is more a "Miss PAcquette you are ill, I suggest you seek medical aid or I will be forced to...take action" kind of dude. IF she protests, he can always toss her over a shoulder; she weighs practically nothing. The sight of caustic stomping through the base with a pale, feeble Wattson on his shoulder has caused genuine alarm that he's kileld her, more than once.
When under medical care in the infirmary, Wattson is a model patient, and everyone wants to spend time with her. She exudes a Little Sister vibe that makes you want to help her, make her feel better. She often feels self conscious about the level of attention this brings her, but is pleased to be part of a (Very strange) family once again.
Octane sometimes doesn't even realise he's sick, with the amount of adrenaline and stimulants in his blood; sometimes he just thinks its a hard lag after using a speed enhancer. Lifeline is always first to twig that he's sick, sometimes before he does, because she's been a big sister to him most of their lives. He's a frustrated, agitated and slightly whiny patient because every cell is demanding he go run, jump, explode... but a cold makes him feel like a low energy battery about to expire. Catching him is the hardest part, because if he doesn't think he's sick or can avoid Lifeline, then he will dodge all traps, fences, sedative cannisters and grapples shot his way.
Bloodhound is usually who gets him. Their calm, persistent predation of the speedster is what usually wears him out, jumpads or no. He will just drop, without any warning, and Bloodhound will carry him back to base where Lifeline can fuss over the zippy idiot.
Rampart and Horizon have helped to fashion a set of restraints that are flexible enough to endure perpetual tugging, but also be comfortable to keep him in place. And Caustic, very reluctantly, has assisted Lifeline to bioengineer a muted form of the stimulants that work well with common cold medications, for Octane, as he is pretty much addicted to them at this time.
Withdrawal makes his cold much, much worse. They have found its easier to go low dose than no dose. He needs constant mental stimulation, even if it is just videos of stunts, audiobooks, tactile puzzles, or conversation with others (often about his latest stunt plans, unless with Lifeline, when he downplays the death defying parts a bit). IF given the right amount of rest, he gets better faster than most... illness can't live long in a body that's 95% speed after all.
Valkyrie is a bit of an unknown at this time, as she's a new legend. She does try very hard not to be taken lightly or seen as weak, so Lifeline and Bangalore are always paying attention in case Valkyrie gets sick and tries to, well, pull a Bangalore.
Pathfinder got a virus, once, after trying to read an encrypted file. This was discovered when he was saying something about loving his friends, his light flickered once, twice, and he clunked to the floor. This was very distressing to the legends, espeially Mirage, but with the combined efforts of Crypto, Rampart, Wattson, Mirage and Horizon, they got him ship-shape eventually. He got a talking to from them all about safe contact, and they updated his antivirus and firewall software...
Caustic is a difficult man to pin down, especially if he doesn't trust you, which means he is close to almost no one but Wattson. As caustic and abrasive as the chemicals he uses in his traps, the man will not tell anyone what is happening for him, even if it might cause his death.
Wattson, and Lifeline, have noted that he seems to have some level of respiratory issue that he won't talk about; but they're paying attention. IF he does get sick, he's just as bad as most of the otehr legends, hiding away and using traps to keep others out. This is where the upgraded Gibraltar shield dome can be very effective, for the team of half-hearted rescuers that Wattson has pestered into helping her with the sick doctor.
Crypto is often asked to scout with his drone, and uses this 'alone time with the doctor' to pass off a derisive comment about how his mother would be devastated to se her son hiding away and dying in a hole, out of pride. There is usually an argument, but it can sway him sometimes.
AS a patient, he's a nightmare. He wants to diagnose himself and handle the whole thing, but Octane with the sedative often does the trick if he needs to take a nap and is being difficult. Lifeline and Wattson are currently waiting for the next iteration of sickness so they can run some covert scans while he's out, and find out why he struggles to breathe so much. There is also some interest in the effects of consistent exposure to toxins on the human system, if the man would let them get close enough to scan without having to resort to using Wattson as a living taser.
Revenent is also a mystery. Technically, simulacrum can get a virus, same as any robot... but they've not caught him acting off/unwell as of yet. Though, as least one or two of the legends are paying more attention than most...
someone show me to the fics where pathfinder has to take care of sick teammates and does NOT understand how humans work
like, they're all unwell, and he is panicking and revenent is being a bit of a dick but won't help (until he has a random moment of compasion, or not lmao)
i feel like orisa from overwatch would have a better chance, bc she was programmed by a very clever child who probs recalls that colds/flus are The Worst
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