#i love them so much idk if u guys could tell or wat ever | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

delicrieux · 4 years ago

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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results).

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be.

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children.

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim.

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do.

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point!

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus.

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping.

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex.

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him.

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red.

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!!

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling.

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!”

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out.

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. ��Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you.

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage.

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her.

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement.

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.”

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fic #corpse husband social media au #social media au #myso #make you say oh #quackity #dream smp #corpse x y/n #imagine #imagines #reader #xreader

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usertoxicyaoi · 5 years ago

Note

ok i just need to say this since i know everyone’s being so hard on sarawat.. but i really think he has his reasons. we are all seeing this in tine’s pov btw!!!! that night when tine stayed up all night listening to songs... wat was probably worried but didnt want to push tine to talk. i mean, he already told tine that he can tell him anything. wat really reassured tine that pam and him are nothing and that tine is his only!!! it also upsets me that +

+ people are complaining that sarawat didnt push pam away (actually he was gently pushing her away when tine saw them, gentleman that he is) and he didnt go after tine... im almost 100% sure sarawat went after tine tbh they just didnt show it in this episode so they ended with tine crying. and then ppl are saying they want wat to beg for tine’s forgiveness and suffer and im like??? it’s not like he cheated??? he was probably just shaken and confused and tine caught him in the middle of +

+ it. i just... think ppl are being very hard on wat when all he did was worry for tine and reassure tine that he loves him. i just want to remind everyone all the lengths sarawat went through just to find tine and how he was literally losing his mind when he found tine again. i mean come on, have a little faith in him. he’s already shown how much he loves tine, this ep 12 is just tine’s pov and i completely understand tine’s insecurities but i just wish +

+ yall would give sarawat a chance and not drop him straight away. idk what do u think??? im just sad cause i love sarawat and he’s being cancelled (also by bright lmao) but on another note.. win’s acting omg??? that cry... i felt that. i hope bright gets the chance to portray that line of emotions as well so they can show the world that they are GREAT. i am not losing faith in this series bc it’s my absolute fave. i believe they will come through in the last ep.... ok end of rant thank u.

hiii anon!!! urm. yeah ..... yeah. i think what bothers tine is that .... why is wat keeping things so secretive. and why is it that when tine only discovers something, that wat first freezes up, panics, evades and then discloses, when tine himself has also said to wat that he too can speak to tine. tine isn't gonna run away or isnt too weak to face the truth. in fact, he wants to know. he's strong enough to listen and understand bc he wants to. he wants this open honesty with wat but wat's kept things like the video and pam and the song a secret from him one after the next. and that is messing up with tine bc just when things get ok, another secret pops out.

and thats already adding onto the mounting pile of insecurities he has, plus mil, plus the fact that he is dating the most sought out after guy on campus. its .. a lot.

and like i said, sarawat is the one who feels more secure in this relationship, even if it is his first one, bc he's had a whole year to stew over it. for tine, its been very quick, with baggage from his past failed dating experiences. wat's never had rejection like that ever before. so him sleeping with his back to tine speaks a lot more louder to tine than wat's words of affirmation and comfort do, bc all the girls in his past experiences have said sweet words to him, but the action of leaving and dumping him has stayed with him, causing these insecurities.

listen, i love show! wat. i'll probably be mad at him for a day or 2 and then i wont. and i know for certain the minute tine fled, wat must have told pam that tine is his bf, and then gone after tine, and we'll probably see that next ep.

i dont want wat to say sorry to tine, bc .... he hasnt essentially done anything wrong, like cheated etc. maybe he could apologise for causing tine distress, yes, but more than an apology i want understanding from wat again. i want wat to be a listening ear for tine. i want empathy from him. not for him to make a joke out of tine's insecurities bc that was Low.

so yeah.

#faiza answers

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soulangel · 5 years ago

Text

Drinks and Kisses-Ravn

Summary: Hanging out with your friends is normally an excellent way to celebrate or forget troubles for a night. Somehow this time, your best friend and you have managed to find out the truth of each other’s feelings.

Group: Oneus’ Rav x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, amusements, hint of steam

Warnings: There are a couple swear words in here, along with a small, steamy kissing scene (probably not idk it’s up to you)

Masterlist Oneus Masterlist

Honestly, you had no idea your friends were dragging you out for drinks. You thought it was going to be a little get together at one of their houses where you guys would drink, play games, and pass out on their couch or something. NOT going out to a crazy ass bar dressed all scantily in a short, blue cocktail dress with your heels on, being tipsy enough to flirt with people you didn’t even know. “Y/N! Come dance with us!” Your friend had called for you, pulling you away from your flirtatious friend you’d just met at the bar.

You allowed her to drag you out to the floor where your best friend Ravn was smirking at you, his hand outstretched for you to hold onto before he pulled you close to him for the wackiest and most laugh-filled dancing you both have ever done together; and that’s saying something. You two love being weird and crazy together, but there were times you surpassed your normal craziness. This was one of those times.

Your arms snaked around his neck and you both laughed happily as you danced to the songs playing, your other friends dancing around you with their own guys they either found or brought with them. “So, wanna get completely drunk tonight?” You asked him with a smirk, tilting your head toward the bar where there was a line starting to form.

He gave you a frown, letting you know just by his posture alone that he wasn’t happy with where your thoughts were turning. You were never good when you were completely drunk, one of the reasons he had your friend pull you away from the bar. (Not at ALL because of the guy you were flirting with who seemed to be inching closer to you every word you spoke to him.) “I don’t know if I want to drink tonight. But by all means, you can drink away. I’ll be the designated driver.” He suggested, twirling you around a couple times before catching you in a dip.

You laughed out loud at his antics and grinned up at him, scrunching your nose a little while he lifted you up to set you rightly on your feet. You both then made your way to the bar where he immediately bought you two shots and a regular alcoholic beverage to get you buzzing. Of course you made him take the shot with you at least before he completely shut down all attempts of drinking for the night. Since after that shot he asked the bartender for a glass of water and made sure to tell her that he was the designated driver for the two of you. She seemed to like the comment and gave him a nod in appreciation, even going so far as to thank him for telling her. You on the other hand were busy sipping on the other glass beverage you had, smiling happily to yourself in your own little world.

You were starting to have fun the more drunk you got throughout the night, to the point the rest of your friends, save for Ravn, had all decided they were planning on going home. Ravn had to stay with you so you wouldn’t do absolutely stupid in your drunk state, and did everything in his power to make sure you weren’t a complete disaster everywhere you stepped on the floor and by the bar. “Have you had enough yet? I want to go home and sleep.” He whined for the 10th time in maybe 20 minutes.

You tried your best to keep a straight face as you stared into his brown orbs, frowning the smallest amount to keep up appearances. “But...but…” You started, glancing around for a moment to see how empty it was getting in the bar anyway.

Ravn smirked a little as your resolve started to crumble, practically sensing that you were going to be agreeing with him soon enough. He grabbed your coat and purse for you, helping you into the coat and sliding the purse onto your shoulder. He then wrapped that arm around his waist and his arm around your shoulder, guiding you out the door as you stumbled over yourself just the smallest amount.

You both were able to walk maybe 20 feet away from the bar before you were whining about your feet hurting. “If you weren’t dancing and falling over every 5 seconds, they wouldn’t hurt so much.” Ravn replied with a snicker, flinching a little when you swatted his shoulder and pouted up at him.

He stopped the both of you for a second and you continued pouting. “Oppaaaaaaaa. Can’t we just get a cab or something?” You whined as he turned to you for a second, seeing how you were truly doing at the moment.

He sighed and gave a very sarcastic chuckle, yes you could tell-you know his quirks extraordinarily well, and shook his head a little. “You silly girl, don’t you remember we drove here? We’re walking to the car now.” He laughed finally, shaking due to his laughter while you just stared at him wide eyed.

You blushed at the fact that you’d forgotten you drove here with him and grumbled softly, crossing your arms in a childish manner. He then unlocked the car that was directly in front of you and opened the passenger door, sweeping his arm toward it in a fake and grand way for you. It took you a couple seconds to see that it was the car you came in; you even ended up blinking a couple times to focus on the car before stepping towards it slowly. “We were in front of it and you didn’t say anything? Rude.” You grumbled, scrunching your nose at him with a small smile as you slipped into the seat and immediately put your seatbelt on.

Luckily you were what people would call a functioning drunk, able to make your body cooperate semi-well as you’re under the influence of alcohol. You also were more paranoid and like a mother hen to everyone making sure they got home safely and telling them they’d better tell you when they got home, and the best one? asking Ravn consistently whether or not you both got in the correct car and if he knew where you were going. Now, just because you are able to function properly, doesn’t mean you’d remember some of the stuff you said and did...that’s the downside to all the liquor you can handle.

xXx

Your nose scrunched at the feeling of something brushing against it. Your head twitched. “Ssshhhh it’s okay Y/N, go to sleep.” Someone whispered to you, touching your sides and legs.

Instead of listening to the person like your tired brain wanted, you screamed and flailed around, half wondering why you weren’t able to move your body and half wondering who was talking to you. “What-who-where-” “Y/N! It’s me, it’s Youngjo!” Your friend shouted at you, trying to make sure you didn’t fall and hurt yourself.

You blinked your eyes open and looked at him, wide eyed and freaked out. “What happened?! I remember getting in the car and that’s it!” You yelled while looking down at your body, checking yourself over.

Ravn flushed crimson as you continued to feel yourself up for your clothes and quickly tripped over his feet in the rush to sit next to you. One leg slipped out underneath him and he fell forward, crashing into you and accidentally slamming his lips against yours. You both fell back onto the couch with him landing on top of you, catching his weight on his left hand pressing into the armrest of the couch. He immediately stood up off the couch and left for the kitchen, stuttering out a loud apology.

You just sat there for a minute, fingers to your lips and a small blush on your face as you thought through the events that just transpired. Your best friend, and crush of about 3 years, finally kissed you. Even if it was an accident, it was still amazing. You giggled a little at the thought and stood up straight stumbling only a little as you were apparently still tipsy. You giggled louder as you stumbled into his kitchen, watching him as he paced the kitchen in a panic.

The moment he saw you in the doorway he gasped and rushed over to you, staying far enough away he wouldn’t touch you, but close enough to talk to you like a normal person. “Oh fuck. Jeez, damn, I’m so sorry Y/N! I seriously didn’t mean to kiss you. Please don’t be mad at-mmmph!”

In the middle of his rambling you managed to press your hands to his cheeks and lean in quickly to kiss him. He tensed up for a moment as he felt the kiss before slowly relaxing into your hands, feeling your thumbs stroking his cheeks. You smiled into the kiss and took a step closer, hands trailing down his face, down his neck, and around his shoulders to wrap around his neck. He gently bit your bottom lip and took the last step toward you, his own arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you as close as he could. You opened your mouth the slightest bit and immediately felt his tongue stroking yours. His hands gripped you tighter as he bit your bottom lip, slowly pulling away from the kiss.

After the kiss ended, he leaned back a little to stare at you wide eyed, mouth opening to say something. “U-Uh that was…”You pulled him back down to you and kissed him again, giggling at his response. “Yeah, it was. I like you a lot Youngjo. Enough to want to keep doing it, over and over again.” You said, a lot more serious than you felt as you were internally giggling at yourself at the stupidity of how you confessed.

His eyes stayed wide open as he looked at you. “W-What? But….” He stuttered, his arms falling from your waist.

You frowned a little and was about to step away from him when he wrapped his arms back around you and twirled you around, making you squeal out loud. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words!!!! We’re going out tomorrow. Tomorrow, on a real date, and no drinking.” He told you seriously, putting you down and sticking a finger in your face.

To spite him, you gently bit his finger and then pouted when he pulled his hand quickly away. “Hey! That’s not nice.” He mumbled with a pout, watching as you just smirked and winked at him.

His face turned at least 50 shades of red.

~~~~~

Taglist: @kimgeonhak

#oneus #oneus imagines #oneus scenarios #oneus requests #oneus ravn #oneus ravn x fem!reader #oneus fluff #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #mymisstina #skye.works

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deyageka · 5 years ago

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Spider-Man FFH review/ramble??¿? Spoilers

This is out of order so get ready to anyone who dares (also sry if I’ve repeated smthing someone said already But this is me going off on a tangent):

I liked how they handled the romance with Peter and MJ. I’m not much of a Spideychelle fan in general but even a casual fan can agree that their relationship is adorable in this one. I did wish that they developed them more in Homecoming and how Peter suddenly got a crush on MJ (cuz tbh it wasn’t fair for Liz to just be up and forgotten). But overall, I didn’t mind their romance and would prbly start shipping them in the future.

I also liked Michelle’s character here more. In Homecoming I just felt like Zendaya was just playing herself and was more of a guest star there. I wasn’t really hooked on her character. But in this movie they made her charming in an awkward way, and also pretty badass. I’m glad they didn’t go with the damsel in distress route with her character. I can’t wait to see what they do with her in the next movie.

Also Ned and Betty’s relationship was hilarious and adorable. They were the best couple in my opinion even tho they broke up in the end :P I hope they’ll remain good friends.

The Happy and May romance was cute too even tho it felt like a crack ship. Happy “I’m in love with Spider-Man’s Aunt” Hogan. Honestly, same.

I liked how they handled the sort of love triangle thing going on between Peter, MJ, and Brad. While I would’ve liked to do without that, I appreciated how MJ had her focus on Peter instead of a will they won’t they flirting thing with Brad. They didn’t stretch it out too far. (We’ve already seen the whole love scenarios with MJ in the OG movies, no need to add unnecessary romantic subplots).

Speaking of Brad. What a poor guy, but an asshole. I didn’t like him since his only purpose was to be Peter’s love rival for MJ. Sorry Brad.

Thing is unlike Brad I never really had a problem with Flash. A lot of people in fanon like to depict him as a one dimensional bully (which to me tbh is an overdone trope), but even as far back as Hoco, Flash always seemed to be more of a douchebag who was a little annoyance in Peter’s life. His scenes are pretty comedic and I’m here for him being the #1 ultimate Spidey fanboy. I felt sorry for him when his parents didn’t show up. His character in some aspects has some relatability to him as well.

Anyways, also May was dusted???? I thought she survived the snap, but apparently she didn’t??

And Happy got dusted too???

Kinda sad that Pepper didn’t show up, but it was very generous of her to send that big check

Happy was the MVP there, I’m so happy (lol get it) that he and Peter hav a close familial relationship now and that Happy is looking out for Peter on his own accord. They’ve come so far compared to their relationship in Hoco. Honestly that jet scene was one of the best and most emotional scene out of the movie I almost cried. AND PETER REMINDS HAPPY OF TONY I AM JUSTASHLLJWFJL—that broke me.

Btw that tribute in the beginning was a true piece of art👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

Also is Steve dead now??? Or did he just hav Sam and Bucky tell everyone he is dead instead of being really old??

The action scenes 😖👌🏽❤️❤️💯‼️💵💰❤️

ESPECIALLY SPIDER-MAN WIELDING THAT SHIELD LIKE HE’S CAPTAIN AMERICA B R O

Can we appreciate how badass Peter was??? CUZ HE WAS FREAKIN BADASS

WHEN HE CAUGHT THE GUN HOLY SHI—

Also THAT scene with Mysterio, Peter and the illusions. It was beautiful but horrifying

TWO WORDS: ZOMBIE IRONMAN

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY THINK THAT WAS OK HGNGNGG

I got a mini heart attack when Peter got run over by that train I’m just im crying my poor boi

When Nick Fury was yelling at Peter, making him feel incompetent, look,,, i was ready to throw my hands and fight, Peter is more of a superhero than u ever could be motherfuccing BITHC

Also I never trusted Mysterio >:|

N E V E R

But the end tho can I just *throws myself out the window*

BITCH WAT THE FUCK

WAT THE FUCK

YOU CANT DO THAT.

• NO

but eyyy J. K Simmons back playing J. Jonah Jameson holy shi—

• BITCH WAT THE FUCK

You. Can’t. Just. Out. His. Identity. Like. That.

After that little tease scene beforehand with May, Peter and Happy

WHY WOULD YOU—

Hooooooo I hate you. I hate you so much hmmmmmmhmhm.

it’s just,,, Peter has been through so much already,,,I just wanted him to be ok,,, but he’s not ok,,,*breaks down crying*

So apparently Nick Fury and Maria Hill are Skrulls???? And the real Nick Fury is commanding a Skrull ship??? Wtf how long????

Overall I thought I’d be able to get some closure with Spider-Man: FFH and maybe relax but Marvel’s like NOP

I’m gonna have to wait another year or two for the next movie oh boy.

TLDR I’m gonna die. 4.3/5 (idk I’m not a movie critic)

PS. WHERE THE FUCK WAS KAREN???

YOU HAD EDITH AND U COULDVE HAD KAREN INFILTRATE EDITH WHILE EDITH WAS UNDER MYSTERIO’s POSESSION OR WATEVER

I just,,, i miss Karen.

#spiderman far from home #spiderman homecoming #spiderman #ramble #review #?#marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #i guess i liked ffh as much as i liked hoco #but since im a sucker for fluff im more of a hoco person #but srsly this movie is amazing #spiderman far from home spoiler #spoilers

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byul-bit-arae · 6 years ago

Text

Boyfriend Taeyong

“When I fall in love, it will be forever. Or I’ll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is– Love is ended before it’s begun. And too many moonlight kisses, Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun."

*Silently slides this across the table and leaves* I'll just leave this here.

Ok but

Ok ok ok

*Grabs tissues, blankets, desserts* gotta get real ready for this now

*Pushes up virtual glasses bc I always forget to wear mine shh we don't talk about that* boyfriend taeyong you say?

Well I saY GTFO I DONT WANNA DIE OF TOO MUCH FEELS SIS

Ok jk come back ere I would die everyday for one (1) human being and that's Lee Taeyong

.. wait wat

Anyway

This kid dude is literally t h e best bf you could ever have like what ????

You see all those shitty posts/texts/ads about perfect boyfriends??? Yeah just like that

Or maybe better

Way better

Taeyong would love you with A L L OF HIS HEART

He's basically a five-year-old who only sees you, and like, nothing else.

Except for chocolate but like, nothing else

Like before you guys start dating

And that would probably be a GOOD while bc this pure lil child doesn't even know what dating is (no I'm serious have you seen that article)

Srsly tho

Not just that but he seems to me like the type to take relationships very seriously

Like blind dates and one night stands wouldn't be his thing, he wouldn't fancy them and just, no

He probably believes in those fictional perfect love stories

And is well aware it might take time to find the right person and is okay with waiting his whole life for it

He just secretly hopes it's soon k

And then he meets u

And wow Lee Taeyong the quiet cold-ish dude who?

More like LEE TAEYONG THE CUTEST FLUSTERED AWKWARD BALL OF FLUFF

When he saw you the first time he could swear he got like star struck or something

He gets all flustered at everything you do and he doesn't know why

Like WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I BEING LIKE THIS WHAT IS THIS

BODY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

BRAIN WHAT IS THIS MESS

HEART STOP POUNDING LIKE CRAZY OKAY THANKS

Like you smile and he's a mess, you just sit there and he's a mess, you pout and he's a mess, you look at him and he's a M E S S ™

And he doesn't even know why bc he never felt like this towards someone

He'd probably meet you through one of the members

Yuta, your close friend, finally decided to introduce you to his 'brothers'

He calls them his brothers but then it took him like three years to introduce you guys bc he's one hell of an overprotective best friend, or mom, over you

"Hey guys I can't believe I'm doing this but this is my little cute precious best friend Y/N and no you can't talk to her"

"Um yuta pls calm down"

Anyways

So the first meeting goes on great I mean the guys are all super kind and funny

And so you start meeting them more often!!

And Taeyong--

istg this kid--

Like he sees you, and some fictional chibi monster starts gnawing at his insides

#SaveLeeTaeyong2k18

Like you noticed how he's kind of quiet around you and stuff but then yuta reassured you saying he's just a bit introverted and it'd take him time to open up

Bc tbh you actually thought he didn't really fancy your presence?? Since he looked really quiet and basically expressionless? and you'd like catch him glaring holes into your head from the corner of your eye??

BUT GURL LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT HE IS JUST WAY TOO WHIPPED HE KEEPS STARING DROOLING AT YOU

IT'S JUST THAT HIS POKER FACE LOOKS A BIT INTIMIDATING

BUT HE'S REALLY ALL UNDER YOUR SPELL OK LIKE YOU'RE SOME FALLEN ANGEL OR IDK OK.

ANYWAYS.

So it'd take him some time to start being comfortable around you

Considering that he's an introvert; a whipped introvert to be exact

But eventually you guys will get friendlier

And that would make him know more stuff about you and wow he never thought he could like you even more but here we are ??

Also the way you take care of the dreamies just !!! Makes his heart go !!!!!!

You just find them really cute and feel the need to protect them from all evil

Also winwin, bc take notes, winwin invented cute

And how you'd be especially close to mark

And you'd be his fav noona too

Aw.

And how you're so so kind w the older guys too

And Taeyong just-- admires you so so much

Bc he loves his friends so dearly and the fact that you love them too and take care of his beloved ones makes him so happy, he just appreciates it a lot

And legit keeps staring at you from a distance with a sweet smile as you put a scarf over jisung before he goes out or you hand winwin a new book about Korean poetry that you bought for him

And then probably Johnny passes by and lightly smacks his head to wake him from his day dreams and whispers

"Dude stop that's so creepy"

Oh btw

Everyone in the dorm knows about his crush on you

E V E R Y O N E .

Probably even their pets

This child is so bad at not getting flustered at the mere thought of you someone protecc

And the guys tease him the whole time omg

Like even the younger ones

He swears to ground them like ten times a day but ends up forgetting bc he'd be so flustered

AND SO ONE DAY

You probably get left in the dorm alone w him

Don't ask me how yuta agreed to that ok I might be the author but evEN IDK K BYE.

And so you start chatting

Probably while cleaning the mess made by another seventeen wild horses

And you both find it funny how at first you were so so distant and awkward

And now here you are casually picking up chenle's underwear from the floor and throwing it with the laundry

And you tell him how you thought he was unfriendly at first and he laughs it off

And he tells you how he watched how you treated his brothers before opening up to you

And you're like ooOooOOoH so that's why, I thought you were glaring @ me and you actually hated me

And ty would literally snap like ARE YOU KIDDING ME I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS DEEP IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE MY WHOLE LIFE---

And you're like wait what

And he's like wait what.

DING! NEW LEVEL OF SOFT UNLOCKED

HE WOULD BE LITERALLY FREAKING OUT AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY HIS BRAIN WOULD BE ALL LIKE UNKNOWN ERROR ABORT MISSION A B O R T MISSIO--

"Taeyong it's okay I like you too

It's actually really relieving since I thought you didn't feel the same so I was a bit gloomy"

And then he apologizes for the misunderstanding

And at that moment jeno barges in and he's like um sorry am I interrupting something

And before you say anything he's like oh shit I'm really interrupting something sorry BYEEEE

But then he opens the door again and he's like okay ONE last question hyung did you ask her out yet

And ty is like jeNO I SWEAR TO GOD

And then when jeno leaves bc he realizes he needs to run for his life or else he'll spend the night in the streets,

It's really awkward before you're like

"so uh.. how about we grab some coffee? Like a first date?"

And taeyong tries his best to muster up a good answer until the word "date" leaves your mouth and he's like 1010101010011101 error shutdown sorry.

Anyways so you go out to this cute coffee shop and that's your first awkward date full of tingling feels and chibi monsters gnawing on your insides.

You probably frequent that coffee shop a lot more often after that

Bc coffee shop dates w taeyong are just so adorable

And he's adorable

*mark silently dragging my crying whipped ass away*

Arcade dates are also your thing

Since he's a little bit too obsessed with games

He loves museums too so he'd bring you to a lot of them

Especially art museums

And you're like why should we go when I've got a whole piece of art in front of me

And he blushes and smiles

Late late night dates

Where you just walk around like fools at like three in the morning bc neither of you could sleep

And you probably grab some ice cream

Okay I'm making it sound like you'd be such an outdoor couple when you're not lmao

Okay not rlly

But my point is that you'd prefer cuddling in bed all day over any of those

Not only in bed but really everywhere

Y'all are just so cute and soft

Skinship skinship and a lot of skinship

He can't stay like ten seconds without touching you

idk like he has to grab your hand or hug you or have you hug him or juST BE IN PHYSICAL CONTACT W YOU OK LIKE HE MIGHT DIE OR SMG OK

But there are some small cute things you notice he likes

Like back hugging you when you're doing literally anything

Like you'd be cooking or washing the dishes or freaking wiping away the dust or just looking out the window and he'd waddle to you as if his skinship'o'meter is hitting a critically low level and he needs urgent recharge

He'd then slowly wrap his arms around you so so gently yet you still feel like his whole world depends on that hug

90% of the time he'd rest his chin on your shoulder

Okay not his chin but technically press his lips against your shoulder, crook of neck, neck, collarbones, hairline, the skin behind your ear, your jawline, basically anywhere he could reach

Like they aren't even kisses his lips would just ever so softly ghost around your skin and his nose would nuzzle your crooks

You're dead if you're ticklish

He also likes intertwining fingers

Like not even all fingers but two or three

He'd love link your index and ring fingers as you walk, lay around and whenever he holds your hand which is often

He love love loves when you play with his hair

Kittyong anybody?

Esp as you praise him

Or you cup his cheeks and then your hands slowly creep to his ears and then to play with the hair on the back of his head

Or simply when you're laying down as he rests on your chest

He looooves doing that

Like he doesn't even care if you're boobless he just really loves that

Sometimes while having really deep conversations

Or when you're cheering him up if he's ever having a rough time

Like you'd gently caress his hair as you tell him all the things you love about him

If he's really really down he'd silently cry and hugs you tighter

And then end up falling asleep to your soft soothing voice and touch

He's usually very cheerful and hyper though

You'd love spending time in the kitchen tgt

Flour fights aren't that common bc he's usually tidy but they do happen so watch out

He loves cooking for you

And LOVES when you cook for him

Like even the simplest things

You don't really have to be that good at cooking like you'd crack him an egg and he'd be as happy as if you've served him a full course meal

He'd teach you how to cook but wouldn't let you do it like tf

He says to use those skills when he's not home

Although whenever he's leaving for some time he'd stack up the fridge w food that would probably last a year

Very random kisses

Like very random listen to me

You'd be like watching TV or something and he'd suddenly turn and peck your cheek then go back to watching

And you're like ?????

And he's like nothing I just wanted to do it

And you're like ????? uwu

Man I could talk about him all day but no one can afford this

This is already way longer than all my other boyfriend posts wsdswdsdwdswdws

He just wants to be loved okay give my boi some sarang

Just kidding give him all the sarang lmao

No really I'm serious.

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catdemontraphouse · 3 years ago

Note

Hello Mr. the worlds leading Javert expert, I’m the bastard who send u that ask and I want to thank you for enabling me to write the most atrocious horrific crackfic ever. Thanks *runs away evilly*

Ok but honestly please I need to hear about this “there’s a magic system in the Brick” thing because wAT. Like ur telling me someone tried to shoot Javert and he hexed their ass so the bullet wouldn’t hit? What in the hell man, u need to elaborate Please, I would appreciate it. I have a fixation on the occult and I love occultic blorbos??! Does Javert really like stars or something? I want him to meet aliens.

I also like your commentary about a man trying to rob Valjean and he pushes him on his ass and tells him “u need Jesus” lmao like I’m just imagining him punching a guy in the face and being like “GIVE UR HEART TO THE LORD!!” Ok I don’t think that’s a very Valjean thing to do but it would be funny as fuck tho. I also love that u said he became a local cryptid because he was running around in the woods burying money what the fuck lmaoo. Modern Valjean geocaching au, oh no wait how about an au his favorite candy is those chocolate coins and he hoarded them in his fake disguise beard. (Idk what I’m even talking abt anymore) hey did he really break into peoples house to reverse rob them or did the fans make that up? He sounds fucking unhinged I love it. Maybe him and Javert have more in common at their core than one would initially expect? I mean that they’re both feral.

Also u are so kind to have included those chapters for me. Thanks for that!! I will admit I am kind of like Javert in that I too don’t like to read, or well ok that’s not true it’s more like I struggle with text that’s not colloquial English? Is there a translation that’s in more of a modern English style which you could recommend? I did manage to decipher this part though and enjoyed it very much:

Wtf is he out here saying some bitch is walking around in society with the soul of an oyster?? Lmao like… bruh, what is the soul of an oyster even like?

Also I suppose Im interested in Fantine too, but like in the sense that I wanna see her kick the world’s ass instead of the world kicking her ass. That poor woman should be girlbossing somewhere like wtf. Idk like… it’s not that I’m entirely disinterested in anything in the story except Javert Vs Valjean? but… it was when that annoying Marius guy showed up!! that’s when I lost interest im so sorry lmao. I was so annoyed when loafman went to risk his life so he could retrieve that guy like, oh Christ were gonna kill off Blorbo to save that annoying horny dude? I know, maybe your thinking “but Javert is technically a horny annoying guy” no but that’s entirely different because he’s funny.

Hello sir. You will probably either find this deeply offensive or hilarious but lately I have an obsession with the character of Javert as I recently watched the 2012 Les Mis because “oh the memes about it back in the day were classic.” Yes I am serious sometimes I watch movies just because I liked a YTP of it. Then I find out that in addition to being perfect meme fodder, Javert has a weird one-sided (??) pseudo enemies to loves dynamic with the loaf of bread guy (I did not know his name until like three days ago to me he was always just the guy who sang “I stole a loaf of bread.”)These types of characters who give vibes like they’re lgbt, have dog or cat-like qualities, and are overly dramatic typically become my Blorbos (a similar example would be majima from RGG who’s also a crazy dog-like man who attacks his crush.) SO what I am requesting is could you please give me your crack headcanons about Javert? Like funny shit about Javert. If you have recommends for crack fics about Javert I’d appreciate it, bonus points if any of the headcanons/fics are Valvert cuz idk I just find them really funny together. Prob mostly because of the memes not gonna lie. If you could also educate me on Valjean and Javert’s mannerisms in the Brick I would be most appreciative because to be totally real with u… I’m so sorry but I don’t wanna read or watch parts that are not about him or loaf guy 😬 (ya I kno shame on me and all that…) but I need to know more about how they act so I can make hideous crack fics of my own. Thank u 🙏🐶

First of all anon how does it feel to be the funniest person on the internet this is the best ask I’ve ever received :’3

Even without crack headcanons brick Javert is just absolutely hilarious as a character?? I feel like a lot of adaptations try to take him too seriously and like yeah he does have a serious and tragic aspect to his character but he’s also a very fruity drama queen who has like 0 awareness of his surroundings, acts like a feral dog on crack and has this weird magic power that allows him to know people’s real identity no matter how well disguised they are. (I maintain that les mis does have a form of magic system in the brick but it’s more like mundane mostly useless superpowers?? Like super strength that just makes you a little bit more strong that an average person, or really good instincts or something. Anyway lol)

Some Actual Canon Facts about Javert from the brick are:

- Is implied to have the soul of a dog

- Bares all of his teeth when he smiles

- Fucking hates reading but does it anyway

- Keeps a snuffbox on him at all times and snorts snuff after he feels like an arrest has gone well

- Dissociates for a solid 5 minutes and misses the entirety of a conversation bc someone said something he didn’t agree with

- I know the ‘you need to punish me Mr Mayor’ scene is in the movie but it’s so much funnier in the brick :’3

- Accidentally sets his coat on fire by standing too close to the stove

- Announces himself to Thenardier’s criminal gang who he’s about to arrest by making a stupid joke

- Tells Thenardier that he can shoot him if he wants because the gun will just misfire. Thenardier shoots him and the gun misfires.

- Doesn’t really have any friends and his coworkers don’t like him either because he doesn’t take bribes and refuses to work with criminals to catch other criminals

- There’s an entire Code Of Symbolism in the brick thats purpose is to represent how horny Javert is, which I wrote about here along with some other Javert related stuff

This man is just a fucking disaster honestly :’3 I headcanon that’s he’s ADHD, autistic, severely depressed and probably has some form of childhood PTSD?? But I’ve also seen other people headcanon that he has BPD or OCD and honestly all of them are good hcs because he’s absolutely neurodivergent.

I absolutely understand not wanting to read the whole brick if you only care about two of the characters lol, but the Hapgood English translation of the brick is public domain so I’ve linked a couple of Javert chapters you might find funny!

Javert’s introduction | punish me mr mayor | Javert lends Marius two pistols he never gets back and burns his coat on the stove | Javert arrests Thenardier and tells him to shoot him

Brick Valjean is also a chaotic bitch but he’s less camp and more like a cryptid with PTSD. Off the top of my head he:

- Sews money into the inside of his coat when Cosette is young

- Keeps the rest of his money buried in the woods

- Accidentally convinces some townspeople that he’s the devil by sneaking around said woods

- Stuffs his pockets with wigs and disguises in case he ever needs to make a quick getaway

- Someone tries to rob him and he tackles them to the ground then lectures them on how they should let god into their heart and stop stealing

- Holds a hot poker against his arm when Thenardier tries to extort him for money to intimidate him

- He just really loves Cosette this isn’t a funny or anything he just really loves his daughter and wants the best for her

In the brick Javert also doesn’t even actively seek out Valjean?? They go years without thinking about each other then they run into each other again in the weirdest circumstances and go ‘omg not this weirdo again 🙄’

As for my own favourite crack headcanons :3c

- Modern au Javert is a furry. His fursona is a wolfdog called Orion :-)

- [NSFW] He’s unironically into vore

- He wants a fursuit very badly but he can’t afford it until he’s dating Valjean and Valjean buys him one

- Valjean doesn’t get it but he’s glad his partner is happy :-)

- [NSFW] In my ideal Javert lives modern au he quits the police, goes to therapy and joins a kink group because I think he’d thrive in that environment 😌

- Valjean has like 5 fake driver’s licenses

- Javert will literally comment on how hot he finds a man and still doesn’t realise he’s gay until he makes out with Valjean. Thinks he’s straight even though he’s never been attracted to a woman before. Is literally that unaware of his own feelings.

- Valjean has no fashion sense. He dresses so bad that it comes full circle and it looks like his outfit clashes intentionally. Cosette is horrified.

- Javert is awful to watch movies with, especially detective movies, because he talks the whole time and points out all the inaccuracies

- Valjean never makes eye contact. Javert makes too much very intense eye contact.

- No one invites them to events because they’re awful together. Javert shit talks people’s outfits or decor very loudly to Valjean and Valjean hates socialising and doesn’t want to be there

I don’t think I know any good crack fic bc I mostly just read angst lol uwu’’ but if anyone has any suggestions pls feel free to add them!! I’ll add links if I think of anything though 😌

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shortjohnsilver · 7 years ago

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tagged by @baalmuian ty bruh i love talkin about myself LAST:  1. Drink: cherry pepsi 5ever. or until i decide to stop trying to die young. 2. Phone call: uhhh probably a potential job n trying to set up an interview 3. Text message: telling my aunt i’d do it this ONCE to get a student’s address for her but that i don’t feel comfortable logging into the system of my old job from home 4. Song you listened to: I’ve had Dark Blue on repeat a lot lately (Jack’s Mannequin) it’s my silverflint song. So probably that. 5. Time you cried: Earlier today while doing Damien’s dream daddy route. I’ve so far only cried during his and Robert’s. I cry about everything.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah not really. 8. Been cheated on: i almost said no bc i care so little i forgot but yeah quite extensively. 9. Lost someone special: who hasn’t done that thing? 10. Been depressed: like last week. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: most recently out the window of a moving car while the guy behind us yelled “pussy!” at me and I flipped him off while still puking. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. orange 13. purple 14. red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: ye! 16. Fallen out of love: nah 17. Laughed until you cried: probably 18. Found out someone was talking about you: nah but i bet they are. little shits. 19. Met someone who changed you: mmmmm not really im consistently a garbage 20. Found out who your friends are: no n that sounds scary. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: ye GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: p much all? i think? i’ve at least met in person anyway. 24. Do you want to change your name: haha dying is easier 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: my gotdamn sister bought me a cabin for a weekend. nice. 26. What time did you wake up: like 2. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: crying bc ddadds got delayed again. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: someone to hire me. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: i was 7 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: wish i’d chosen an apartment over moving in w/ my sister. don’t tell her that she’ll take it wrong. 31. What are you listening right now: my sister’s shitty kitten bite stuff she’s not supposed to bite. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: idfk. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: drivers not signaling. people who don’t like john silver. 34. Most visited Website: probably this blue hell. or twitter, lately. 35. Mole/s: idk i don’t think so what even is a mole??? i like the rodents. 36. Mark/s: i got freckles in lots of places. not like the good kind that are everywhere in abundance but just like scattered about in a few places. 37. Childhood dream: police officer 38. Haircolour: fucken red RED R RED !!BLOOD!!! 39. Long or short hair: don’t talk to me abt hair length i have issues. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nah 41. What do you like about yourself: uhhh i am… fast learner… that was taken off my ‘strengths’ category for interviews 42. Piercings: none. more issues. 43. Bloodtype: good question 44. Nickname: fufu 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: aries 47. Pronouns: he/him 48. Favourite TV Show: FUCKEN U KNOW WHAT IMMA SAY FOLKS. THOSE BLACK SAILS 49. Tattoos: none but i’ve been thinking about the ones i want recently. 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: none 52. Hair dyed in different color: my hair was not born this way. 53. Sport: i’d play anything if it was easy and i didn’t have anxiety about literally everything. im fucking good at sports and shit im just bad at life. anyway soccer if i had to choose. 55. Vacation: secluded cabin. all hiking. no human interaction or public places. 56. Pair of trainers: wat? MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing atm. tragic. 58. Drinking: also nothing 59. I’m about to: idfk answer the next question after that it’s a mystery 61. Waiting for: someone how wants to hire me to call me 62. Want: a job 63. Get married: nah 64. Career: something with money WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i love me some kisses 66. Lips or eyes: HMMMMMMM idk both good. 67. Shorter or taller: nnn don’t care? 68. Older or younger: still don’t care. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS I LOVE ME SOME ARMS 71. Sensitive or loud: not sure what this means but probably loud 72. Hook up or relationship: got neither man lemme just have my cats. hook-up if i had to pick rn. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant i am Nothing.HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no wtf why haven’t i done this??? 75. Drank hard liquor: ye but it’s hard and i can barely stand how it tastes. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t have any 77. Turned someone down: sure???? 78. Sex in the first date: no again why haven’t i done this ?? my life reads like a… christian or some shit ew. 79. Broken someone’s heart: probably not 80. Had your heart broken: not in a relationship way but in a someone-betrayed-me-in-a-way-i-never-foresaw-and-changed-my-view-of-them-and-myself-forever way. we love dashes. 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: nah DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes. not often. 85. Miracles: cute but not really 86. Love at first sight: cute but not really 87. Santa Claus: absolutely 88. Kiss on the first date: uh, yeah? 89. Angels: no fuck that OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: aerin/JiRa 91. Eyecolour: idk like green 92. Favorite movie: black sails s01e01 no i didn’t do this whole thing just to answer the last question that way. im tagging uh... mutuals but they don’t gotta do it. pbvs. doubt i’ll find 20. @filmgoldlesbians @crystallisedrain @asexualsanji @samhound @dearestfreckledginger @gaygingerpirates @husbandpirates @knownasemrys @miragu @lukearnold @anarfea

im positive i missed some probably some people i’ve even talked to but im a tired and i didn’t remember how some people’s urls actually went @whxlebones TOO I KEPT TRYING TO PUT AN A INSTEAD OF AN X while tryna tag you

#nonsense #long post

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ofconsequence · 7 years ago

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Rewatching A&E’s BATES MOTEL

1x01 (First You Dream, Then You Die)

Wow. Okay, so I am 48 seconds into the episode, and I already have thoughts. Oops. Something tells me it’ll take me awhile to get through every episode if I actually seriously take the time to write everything down...

Anywho -- obviously, the audience is meant to note the dialogue going on in the background as we pan into Norman’s face. A conversation’s being had on an old movie about a guy who’s gonna move in and live with his mother.

I also find it interesting how many photos are crammed onto the walls, even in such narrow hallways; it must be part of how Norma likes to illustrate this beautiful (but non-existent) life story of hers, a way to play the part of that girl who grew up with a kind, smiling father and a mother who always smelled like cookies. I wonder if playing this part is a way that she copes, too. We know she’s obviously willfully blind to things that cause her pain, or at least refocuses and forces that pain onto somebody else sort’ve deal (say... her eldest baby boy.)

Also -- baseball is on in the background, so we can gather that Sam Bates was a fan of baseball.

And here for the first time they use an empty/unattended kitchen to show Norma’s blatant absence (to be used later in the series when Dylan goes to find her in 4x07, There’s No Place Like Home). (I’ll also pointlessly note the writers seem to use spaghetti as a staple meal for the family, since in only 50 episodes with minimal normal domestic scenes, Dylan was also shown cooking spaghetti in 5x05, Dreams Die First).

And... only 55 seconds in, I’ve paused it again. Dang! Check out Sam Bates’ workshop. The dude must have been handy -- y’know, before he became a total drunk and completely useless. There’s a motorbike in there, too. Looks like it might be stripped? (It’s definitely not the bike we see Dylan driving later, though; totally different build.)

... Heh. I’m five minutes in, now -- just smirking a bit at Norman thinking his room was up in what eventually becomes Dylan’s room. It’s strange, though. There’s a door there left ajar; but I’m fairly certain we don’t ever see that door again later? Either that house was built really weirdly, too, or the folks who designed the sets just weren’t thinking totally straight, becauuuuse...

I can’t for the life of me get the freakin’ layout of this house, man. I know the back end comes out a little more, so it’s more shaped like

than I think it is but still... Oy...

Anyways. I love Norma and Norman so much and just want the world for them. My heart aches knowing their chance to start over was thwarted and ended in tragedy. :( I just want to protect them skjdhgs.

Forever amused that Norman Bates was listening to classical music on his iPod. Also amused at how Bradley and her friends sort’ve ambush Norman, haha. You can tell it’s a small town with not a lot of turn around -- they were really curious about him, but I also think it was very kind of them to immediately initiate communication instead of sort’ve shunning him and not welcoming him at all, y’know? Even though we all know how this ends, still. I think it was nice of them to reach out, at least at first, and even if it was ultimately for their own curiousity’s sake. Idk.

Also, straight off the bat in the small glimpse that we saw, I like Miss Watson -- and it’s only because I’m rewatching and know how her relationship with Norman develops that I find her line “You look like a runner” kind’ve a tip off, I’m sure. But I liked how she worded the students’ homework, the tiny glimpse we saw of her teaching style, and I like how she speaks to Norman non accusingly when she laments his grades and seems so genuinely invested in helping him.

(I also wanna note that even though Norman said they moved a lot, I always pictured they moved around a lot in terms of homes, but always remained in the Scottsdale or more specifically Southern Scottsdale area. It’s a large city after all. No other home besides Norma’s childhood in Ohio and then Arizona was ever mentioned, so that’s just what I’m inferring.)

Ahh.... this scene where Norman comes home to Norma always makes me cringe so bad. I love Norma, I truly do, but for me, this was one of her worse scenes in terms of me not really liking her so much. But I really appreciate how the writers handled it because it really sums up her parenting style (especially in regards to Norman) super swiftly and very clearly. Random sidenote? I never understood people burning candles at dinner. After dinner, sure, but I’d be scared to knock it over while we’re eating and reaching across the table for things. Like... idk, candles are more a thing you put on a coffee table, mantle or side table rather than a dinner table, imo.

Keith Summers... I liked you for a fraction of one second, when you walked up those steps and asked Norman how he liked living there so far. Maybe I’m naive, but for that fraction of a second, I remember thinking you were only there to welcome them. Ugh... Part of me wonders if Keith would have reacted as strongly as he did if Norma hadn’t spoken to him that way (threatening to shoot him), but either way, he did, and we know what he did to god knows how many other girls, too. He deserved a slower death than what he got.

The scene where Norma answers the door and tells Bradley Norman can’t go out reminds me a bit of the dinner scene, but less cringe-worthy; Norma could have known Bradley didn’t intend on bringing her son to the library and wanted to protect him from that, which is more understandable to me than preventing him from joining the track team at school, especially after Keith’s threats about not knowing anything about the town, etc. She doesn’t know what the local kids are like, y’know? And Norman is different, not exactly a partying teen. However, if she didn’t see through Bradley’s fib, well... that’s a little different, and again, referring more back to Norma-esque clingyness rather than a mom just being protective. And if she genuinely believed her excuse (unpacking, stuff to do, blah de blah,) that’s manipulative, too, because they were just sitting there, and you know the writers must’ve included that brief scene for that very reason (to illustrate that Norma was definitely exaggerating.)

I really like the way they showed Norma hesitating and turning around with narrowed eyes during their confrontation after Bradley and her friends left; now that we know Norma does have a reason to be as protective as she is, this was really good foreshadowing. She was scrambling to keep a lid on Norman’s temper, but her own flared up too. The bit that Norman said was another good bit of insight into Norma’s parenting, too. It makes me sad because Dylan would have grown up jealous over that, was jealous over it, even though he knew it wasn’t right (because at least it was something.) I think Dylan realizes just how badly Norma’s smothering affected Norman for the first time when he comes home in the next episode; because it has been three years since they’ve lived together and possibly seen and spoken to one another (at least from what I’m inferring.) He sees Norman and he thinks, “This is no normal teenage dude,” and gets angry with Norma and uses that to put up a front for that jealousy that’s eaten away at him since forever.

Anyway. Back to the current show. lmao I love Norma’s parting words ( “Well maybe you better just stay there the rest of the night, then!” ) It was so realistic, bahah. And Norman throwing his stuffed dog hahah (also LOL stuffed dog, I see wat u did there, writers and / or props department).

I’ll never get over how “grown up” that party was that Bradley and her buddies took Norman to. But at the same time, I feel like I’m lacking in real world experience -- I literally never went to a party when I was in high school, let alone one full of teenagers with rich parents. I loved how they specifically showed the weed, too. Just little things like that, tiny little hints and foreshadowing -- it just shows that the writers actually wrote at least one season all in one go, not just episode by episode. I wonder whose house that was at, too? It’s a weird setting, can’t really tell if it’s a public building or a home.

And I am literally just realizing for the first time ever that Bradley was drunk in the scene with her and Norman (and then Richard)....... oops. I kinda hope that Bradley must’ve done or said something to make Richard so jealous and rude to Norman right off the bat, though. Or maybe he’s just so into Bradley and insecure he’s just douchey like that? I dunno. I mean, at least later in the season he has more of a reason, but their first meeting there, he’s kind’ve a dick for no apparent reason... unless maybe he saw Bradley walking up close to Norman from afar or something, idk.

... Uuuugh. This next scene. I’m cringing in advance. It’s really hard to watch. Part of me had to smirk a bit at how Norma was just finishing up cleaning up for the night before everything ends up covered in blood spatter though, even though my gut’s twisting at how all that blood ends up there at all. Ohhh, sidenote: I mean, we know Norma loves making things beautiful and we often see her clean, but maybe cleaning is cathartic for her? Like maybe the reason she likes cleaning so much is part of her delusion thing (like with all the family photos I mentioned before) or maybe it’s more just cathartic in the sense that it gives her some semblance of control? Random thing that just occurred to me. I’d always kind’ve assumed she liked cleaning just because, but maybe it’s a little deeper, I dunno.

I also love the little realistic shot of Norma smiling to herself, waving off her worries. I think we’ve all done that, haha. (Can you tell I just love all the realistic little tid bits of this show? It all feels so real. Much wow, such quality. :’D) And I love that the music tells you just as much as Norma’s suddenly stiffening posture that something in her gut just twisted at that next noise. I’ve felt that “flight” instinct before, and it’s like something wrenches and rips on your insides and all of a sudden you feel like everything is on some strangely extreme level, like your body goes into hyper drive while holding a breath all at once. It’s horrible and makes your heart stop (or beat so fast you can’t feel it anymore.) I really sympathize with her right there, and I can appreciate that she doesn’t step right up to the glass, because when you feel that train wreck in slow motion feeling, you would be much too scared to face the source of your fear that closely.

Uuugh... god... can anybody watch this scene without grimacing and hugging themselves....? I don’t have anything more to say.... I was watching this scene in a tank top and actually had to put a sweater on because it just makes me feel so uncomfortable...

It’s too bad Norma or Norman didn’t think to handcuff Keith with his hands behind his back -- but maybe the murder would seem less gruesome this way?? Tho lbr it was pretty gruesome anyways. The sound effects... bah.

Norma’s reaction to everything makes so much more sense and seems less crazy somehow, knowing her back story, understanding where she’s coming from. I mean, it still sucks that she chose to hide the body instead of call it in, yadda yadda, but -- she stabbed him so many times, and then part of it must have been fear, too... she didn’t want people to know she’d been raped, to have that reminder.

-- How did Jiao get her notebook under the carpet? And why did she leave it there?

Alex is such a dick this episode lmao. Ultimate stoic sheriff. haha. Maybe he just senses she’s lying or something idk. Which... I guess he probably does, since he asks to look inside. I’ll never understand why neither he nor Shelby smells the body / blood in the bathroom. I mean, unless Romero was rocking a seriously bad UTI and couldn’t smell it over his own piss... >.> Or maybe the pipes or plumbing already smelled coppery? Or the place is so musty that it muffled out the smell? Idk, idk. To me, this was one of the show’s biggest plot holes right here. Blood reeks.

Ahhh, dat school cafeteria tho. I kind’ve wonder if Norman hallucinated the spot of blood on his shoe. It was very bright -- dried blood isn’t that red. Maybe this was his first on screen hallucination... And hooray for the introduction of Emma! Man, I can’t get over how much she grew up during the course of this show. She seems so young here.

Okay, honestly, this got rushed about halfway through the episode because my mom came home and I felt awkward pausing it every two minutes like I was to jot something down, and I don’t even feel like writing stuff about the rest of the episode anymore, lmao. But, hey -- this is casual, at my leisure... I doubt anybody else will read this anyways, so I’m basically talking to myself over here.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On the off chance that anybody else does end up reading this, please let me know so I can be less lazy about this in the future if something similar happens.

#sela rewatches bates motel #text posts #text post #sela scribbles

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oe-r-blog · 8 years ago

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Story..

i fell in love w this amazing girl when i was at school, i tried getting her attention by waking past her n trying to get her to look at me, funny bc she tells me that i had her heart at "Hello" we dated and it was an adventure, we made promises to each other i still haven't broken mine, on February the 14th she gave me something to me so special, something she hasn't gave no one b4, as i touch her body and stroke her hair i fall deeper and deeper, her lips are soft that i cry for her lips to be against mine, we dated for 1 year and 5 months, i broke up with her bc i had done some stuff that if people knew who she was and what she meant to me, they would of gone after her💔... that's the most scariest thing in life to think about, i lied to her about being w other woman and had to make it look real by bringing one hoe to my house just to keep company, i never wanted to do anything w that girl while she was at my house, all we did was watch tv n be on the phone, well later on i fix the situation that i was in and i started to talk to her and we started to hang out a lot, since then when i got home from seeing her again i was sooo mad n sad to my self bc wat i had to out her thru in order for her to be safe, March 25 2k17 was her birthday and not sure if it was the weekend after her birthday but she went to a car meet and met a guy, they "talked/dated idk" for a week or so, but i have told her wat i felt and wat happened, why i had to push her away for a while, she believed me, well so i thought she did, i let all my feelings out to her and told her my deepest secrets, i asked her if we could start talking but she did tell me she is scared to hurt someone else's feelings, i told her "Babygirl it's just me n u in this world and only us can be happy and adventures" she decided to come w me, so i thought.., i've felt love b4 w other woman but not w her, this was totally different, and by different i mean i was set to spend the rest of my life w her, anyways it turned out she was playing me and lying to me about things straight to my face when she was the one to say that we have to be honest with everything, i never cheated on her EVER! she to me? idk.., on a sunday i went over to her house and i asked if her and someone she kinda had feelings for were going to date, she told me that he asked her if they could start talking and she said yes, but she also told me she was goin to talk to him bc we were still sexually active, that night she came over was good 😁😁 we fucked till 4 AM🤷🏻‍♂️ On wednesday the 3rd i remember everything so clearly, i went over to her house again and well b4 i left her house we had agreed that we both will put effort on our relationship to get back together bc i did kno she lost feelings for me but still loved me, i got her feelings back 2 weeks ago that sunday i went over, we went to the club and we both had an amazing night, she kept kissing me like if we were alone, anyways well yea we both agreed to work on this for real this time, i go over again that same day but around 11Pm we go and play basketball, "Vroom!" sounds the guys car she said she kinda had feelings, she rushes to them and leaves me w out saying anything, as i see here he comes with his brother, they approach me and say "why are u talking to my girl" of course i didn't kno what they were talking about, well her brother yells and says "who's your boyfriend right now!" i turn and look at her and she looks at me and looks away so quickly and says "He is my boyfriend" as i hear this terrifying words my heart breaks into million of pieces.... it turns out they were dating and she was playing me this whole time, but i was told she wanted both of us...is it true idk bc till this day she still won't give me the chance to talk to her so all this could be explained, the next day i went to her boyfriend and talked things out, it turns out as well everythingg she told me was a lie, ik all the truth that she did and ik for a fact wat was the lies, i went to her house again, and she told me, i still remember these words and they still kill me... y'all ready? 😞 "I NEVER LOVED YOU, GET OUT OF HERE, STFU, I WAS NEVER GOING WITH YOU TO CANCUN OR FL OR THE DATE" oh yea i forgot to tell u y'all, i was going to take her to Cancun Mexico just bc i loved her so much, i told her we weren't going to go anymore bc i wanted it to be a surprise, i already had the flight tickets and rooms booked bc i knew she didnt have enough to pich in, anyways my heart broke ones more by the same girl i loved and i still do, am i wrong for still loving her? well she told everyone to let me kno that she doesn't want anything w me anymore and to leave her alone, as stupid i looked i had to return $800 worth single plane tickets and $700 worth of a hotel and $1,500 of just spending money for when we were at cancun, till this day i love her and will still take her back even tho ik ALLL the truth, why? bc i love her, she doesn't believe me that i love her but I LOVE HER so much that i would do anything to be w her😞 she knos what she did was wrong, in scared that she wants to get back but doesn't want to bc of what she did to me but i forgive her, am i wrong? idc i want her in my life 😞 that's my story of how my only heart was broken and still is just for revenge i would like to believe... idk someone of y'all will kno who and wat i'm talking about and some might not but lmk what y'all think..

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hopelesscobwebs · 8 years ago

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92 Asks Game!

I’m finally doing this. I thought it would be fun and i’m bored af so here we go:

Tagged by: @just-a-crazy-nerd love you <3

LAST

1) Drink: Water (gotta stay hydrated y’all)

2) Phone call: My Dad.

3) Text message: “My legs are dead. All I wanna do is sleep but I have to do music homework” to my friend like a week ago (I don’t text much lmao).

4) Song listened to: Sumertime, By My Chemical Romance

5) Time you cried: Maybe 2 days ago? (I was really sad over MCR), but the last time I really, like really cried was maybe last week.

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated somebody twice: ahaha twice? You’re so funny. I haven’t dated someone once...

7) Been cheated on: My cat once slept on my sisters bed instead of mine so that counts.

8) Kissed someone and regretted it: What don’t you get about FOREVER ALONE HERE.

9) Lost someone special: Perhaps, It kinda depends really what you count as “lost”. But yeah, unfortunately.

10) Been depressed: I have been in dark mindsets a lot lately.

11) Gotten drunk and puked: Never been drunk before (I am so cool like that)

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS

12) Probably Blue, But to narrow it down: Teal

13) Rich purple

14) Probably black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15) Made new friends: Tons (ilysm guys)

16) Fallen out of love: no (kinda yes... but William doesn’t count)

17) Laughed until you cried: Yes, Yesterday (we were bottle flipping and then someone made a seal noise, don’t even get me started)

18) Found out someone was gossiping about you: Hopefully not, there’s not much to gossip about when it comes to me.

19) Met someone who changed your life: If Discovering MCR counts... then yes.

20) Found out who your true friends are: *Ahem*... yes...

21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Haha this list of asks is so funny. what don’t you get about NOT BEEN KISSED EVER... *cries*

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook friends: like almost 400? idek. (I know them all in person btw, i’m not one of those weirdos that just friends anybody). I barely use FB tbh

23) Pets: oh boy.... I have 6 cats guys... thats right, you can call me the crazy cat lady.

24) Want to change your name: My last name yes. Quick, somebody marry me

WHAT

25) Did I get for my birthday: A Spongebob birthday cake, a Vampire Diaries pillow, depression um what... I got to eat all my fave foods in one day, that was pretty special even though i threw up at the end of it

26) Time I woke up: like 9:30?

27) Were you doing at midnight: Watching Frerard video edits...

28) Can’t you wait for: FOR ME TO ORDER MCR MERCH AS A TRIBUTE ON MARCH 22 *cries and dies*

29) Was the last time you saw your mom: like 4 hours ago.

30) Was something you wish you could change about your life: I sometimes wish I was born 10 years earlier but then I remember... there’d be no quality memes for a long time...

31) Are you listening to right now: MCR, what else honestly...

32) Gets on your nerves: When people make up those shitty things like “ UR NOT A TRUE FAN UNLESS YOU HAVE THIS OR DO THIS BLAH BLAH” like stfu, I am a fan in my own way. Racists, Homophobes, just basically anyone who thinks they have the right to tell you not to be yourself, like seriously, fuck off.

33) Talked to a person named Tom: My cat is called Tom, so that counts.

34) Is your most visited website: Tumblr, no doubt (or YouTube or guitar tabs, or Putlocker lets be honest)

35) Elementary school/primary school: I can’t even remember tbh and I ain’t tellin you

36) High School: The one I’m at now. Ha, got ya

37) College: n o , I am too young, gosh

38) Hair colour: Brown/ Blonde (streaks, naturally from sun lmao)

39) Long/short hair: I just cut it all off this year. Think 1920′s hair and that’s me.

40) Crush: There’s a cute guy in my chem class but that’s about it #foreveralone

41) Do you like about yourself: My final wakeup call of music interests. I used to be so shallow in that department. Um.... I guess I like the fact that I get on better with older people (I skipped a year at school so all my classmates are a year older anyways) idek. There’s not really much to like.

42) Piercings: 1 on each ear (i’m thinking of getting a second set) But I barely wear earrings tbh

43) Blood type: Idk, it would be cool to know tho

44) Nickname: Some of my friends call me Em but barely. Emy / Emz by family (if any of you call me that, it’ll be weird lmao) PLEASE START A TREND...CALL ME EM

45) Relationship status: single as a pringle and not ready to mingle please i have anxiety *daydreams about meeting perfect boy*

46) Zodiac: Scorpio yeah boi

47) Pronouns: she/her

48) Favourite show: Supernatural, Miraculous Ladybug (don’t call me a kid for watching it I swear I’ll end u ahaha), Rick and Morty, The Vampire Diaries... I could go on for days

49) Tattoos: I always think they’re a cool concept but i’d probably chicken out at the last minute, so no

50) Left or right handed: right

FIRST

51) Surgery: I got a tooth removed quite a few years back, I went under genral anaesthetic and everything.

52) Piercings: Ears

53) Best friend: Gabby, We don’t talk anymore sadly but I still love her <3

54) Sport: Ummm well i’ve always loved badminton but i’ve never taken a serious sport class before lmao

55) Vacation: I’m pretty sure it was to Melbourne, Australia, We saw some really cool outdoor art and went to see Wicked at some theater, that’s all I remember.

56) Pair of shoes: Say wat?

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: I wish I was eating

58) Drinking: the dead souls of my enemies wait what

59) I am about to: Rearrange my sitting position and continue to write this long ass ask thing.

60) Listening to: The End, My Chemical Romance

61) Waiting for: My sis to get home so I can use her credit card to buy MCR merch, no really, this is the truth. I n e e ed it

62) Want to see: MCR get back together in 2019 for at least a reunion song or SOMETHING PLEASE. Also, a Panic! concert because I missed the last one in my country. ALSO a Supernatural Convention

63) Want to get married: Well it would be nice, gotta find a guy first, there’s the hard part

64) Career: I never know... I like to think that my dream is to be in a band but that aint ever gonna happen. I really wanna do something that can help people idek.

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/kisses: Well i’ve never kissed anyone and I lOvE HuGs, THEY ARE JUST SO NICE, LIKE AHHH GIMME UR LOVE, GIMME HUUUGGSSS. If I ever meet any of you in person, I’ll be really shy, but know deep down that all I wanna do is HUG YOU SNDKJGSND.

66) Lips/eyes: Eyes hold secrets, I love them

67) Taller/shorter: gimme da toll peeps, But I love the smol beans too

68) Younger/older: It depends

69) Romantic/spontaneous: probably spontaneous just to keep me on my toes.

70) Nice arms/nice stomach: um wat? idek i dont pay attention to that

71) Sensitive/loud: Sensitive

72) Hookup/relationship: Relationship definitely

73) Troublemaker/hesitant: Hesitant alien

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed a stranger: W h A t D o N t Y o U g E t A b O u T i T... I AINT KISSED NOBODY BEFORE. gosh, way to rub it in *cries*

75) Drank hard liquor: well. i’ve tried some heavy stuff before but it was a sip and I spat it out coz it literally tasted like p o i s o n. Alcohol is so gross

76) Lost glasses/contact lenses: Don’t need glasses

77) Turned someone down: ??? There hasn’t been anyone to turn down god damnit

78) Canoodling on a first date: They gotta earn that, so no

79) Broken someone’s heart: I sure as hell hope not.

80) Had your own heart broken: mcr breaks my heart E V E R Y GOD DAMN DAY

81) Been arrested: no, I am a good gal

82) Cried when someone died: yes, my grandmother

83) Fallen for a friend: Oh boy, yesyesyes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: Not really, but I want to.

85) Miracles: I wish for them but I don’t really think they occur

86) Santa Claus: No, I actually never believed in him when I think about it

87) Kisses on a first date: YAS when it’s been all perfect and he walks ya up to your door ABJISLBHDLBHLA

88) Angels: um... Castiel???

89) Love at first sight: Yes but not like first sight, more like first discussion, when you can instantly click with someone in that first moment idk.

OTHER

90) Best friend’s name: Can I just list all my tumblr friends names? Because YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY ALL MY FAVES, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU <3

91) Eye color: Grey Blue

92) Favourite movie: idek there are so many but: The Abduction Club, is one of my faves, Singin’ in the Rain, Sing Street, and that’s all that’s coming to mind atm.

I tag: (all my BEAUTIFUL AMAZING tumblr frens I mentioned before) @omg-i-cannot-even @shipsareamazing123 @mychemicalchinchilla @potterlock5ever @immacrazyfangirl @trashholeofshittybandstuff @shadowgirl077 @that-awkward-fangirl @lizbeth-loves-bobear @anyone i forgot and anyone who wants to do it! go ahead! <3

#asks game #i tag you #tags #tag game #frens #questions #yay #92 asks game!#i love you all so much

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jikook-love · 8 years ago

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E[Love]

PART 1 | calculate the expectation of love.

student!jungkook + tutor!jimin = math!jikook ;)

alternatively, 16k+ of self-indulgent romantic crack, unnecessary dialogue and really bad math humour as reluctant math major Jungkook sets out on his quest for love.

Happy Valentine’s Day~! ♥ This is for @gracefulweather! She should know I probably destroyed my midterm mark thanks to her.

read the full story on AO3

“ARGH! I don’t wanna study anymore! Why am I even in this program?!”

The sudden outburst from second year Mathematics & Statistics major Jeon Jungkook startled some of the other students in the library, some of whom threw him the dirtiest look.

“Pipe down, won’t you?” Kim Seokjin—4th Year Honours Statistics and Vice-President of the Math Council—whispered, looking embarrassed for the younger, bespectacled boy. “Second year isn’t that bad. You’ll get it soon.”

“Says you who has the fucking smartest boyfriend in the entire university, probably,” Jungkook snapped, pulling off his glasses in frustration.

“He’s definitely not the smartest, and are you suggesting I leeched off him?” Seokjin scoffed. “It’s not like he wrote my exams for me.”

“Whatever,” Jungkook pouted as he slammed his head down into his books. “I don’t think I can memorize another probability distribution. Not that it matters anyway. I’m not passing that damn course.”

Seokjin sipped his coffee nonchalantly as he stared at Jungkook. “Tell me. Why are you even in this program anyway? Did you even like math in high school?”

“No,” Jungkook groaned, as he slumped further into papers.

“Well…you’re certainly not very good at it,” Seokjin said bluntly. “So why math?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” Jungkook blurted, eyes wide. “I honestly don’t know!”

Seokjin sighed. “So in the end you’re one of those people,” he spoke. “You have no appreciation for this art of numbers, the poetry of proofs…nor the satisfaction of solving an arduous problem late after midnight.”

“More like finally finding the answer on Google,” Jungkook muttered under his breath.

“I’m serious,” Seokjin said firmly. “Why do you think math professors are all like ‘I would wed the numbers if I could’? There’s just something about it, man. How do you think I managed to stay single for so long? That pure pleasure from drawing the complete of proofs square or writing QED at 3 a.m.…it’s more than enough.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” Jungkook gaped, disgusted by his older friend’s descriptions.

Jungkook would never appreciate math. Never. Ever. Even if he was in this program, there was always that inner part of him that wanted to scream “nerd” and laugh at every aspiring math major who walked by. He hated that sense of elitism that they all seemed to have—Seokjin and his overachieving, go-hard boyfriend Namjoon included: so what if you can calculate a triple integral or memorize the equation for a Gamma distribution? It really shouldn’t make you any better than other people.

“Oi, did you hear me?” Seokjin’s voice came back into his mind.

“Sorry. I was trying to remember things that should be better off forgotten,” Jungkook grimaced.

“Like your midterm marks?” Seokjin snorted. “Anyways, I was saying you should try getting a tutor for your courses.”

“That’s not going to work though,” Jungkook whined, adjusting the collar of his hoody. “At this point, I don’t even know what I don’t know.”

“And that’s where the tutor comes in,” Seokjin said. “I know this guy—you may know him too actually. You know Taehyung, right? He’s in your classes.”

Jungkook snorted. “Do I know Taehyung?” Jungkook repeated mockingly. “I tried studying together with him once. Somehow, we ended up at a park somewhere at 3 a.m. eating frozen yogurt and dancing around a tree—we both failed the linear algebra assignment together after that so you might not want him to tutor me.”

“Wow, you’re practically besties,” Seokjin said, rolling his eyes. “It’s not him that I was going to suggest but he has a friend who’s really good at math. The guy’s looking for a part time job right now too so maybe he could help you out.”

“Wait, you want me to pay for this shit?” Jungkook gaped. “Hey, I’m broke, remember? Student life? We don’t all have daddies to take care of us you know?”

“Namjoon is not my daddy.”

“I was talking about your actual father but your guilty conscience seems to be off the walls today,” Jungkook snorted loudly. “You should’ve seen your face when you said that. Such a serious expression. ‘Namjoon is not my—‘‘”

“For a dude who’s supposed to be quiet you sure are talking a lot today.” Seokjin was quite flustered at this point. “So do you want my help or not?”

“Okay, okay fine,” Jungkook grumbled. “I’ll give it a shot…but do I really have to pay for it?”

Seokjin shrugged. “Maybe if he likes you enough, he’d do it for free.”

“…maybe I can pay for it with my body.”

“Jeon Jungkook, ever since you entered second year you keep making jokes like that and it doesn’t really sit well with me,” Seokjin reprimanded. “You used to be so cute and innocent…what happened?”

“This freaking school happened. And who said I was joking? Maybe I really have no alternative at this point,” Jungkook responded.

Seokjin let out another exasperated sigh. “You know what, I think I’m done listening to you for today,” he concluded as he packed up his books. “I’ll message you Jimin’s e-mail and then you can do whatever you want with it.”

Jungkook stared at Seokjin as he pulled his backpack onto his shoulders. “Wait, who’s Jimin?

“The guy who’s hopefully gonna tutor you,” Seokjin answered. “You don’t know him? Park Jimin? 3rd Year Math & Stats? He actually has quite the reputation around here.”

“No…should I?” Jungkook narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “He’s not one of those dudes, is he?”

“Jungkook, I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about 50% of the time.”

“You know, one of those arrogant nerdy pricks that you and Namjoon like to hang around for some reason.”

“He’s nothing like that at all. And we don’t hang around people like that! You just have to get to know them.”

“This is why I don’t trust you.”

“It’ll be fine,” Seokjin reassured. “Just…give it a chance. Who knows? Maybe if you’re not so focussed on just being closed away all the time, perhaps you can learn to be commutative and associative with others as well…perhaps even gain an identity.”

“You disgust me.”

“Now that’s the inverse of what I wanted to hear.”

It was already 12:50 a.m. Instead of finishing up his calculus assignment like he was supposed to, Jeon Jungkook was on Facebook, messaging Taehyung, though it was partly because he’d gotten distracted while trying to search up the solution on Google.

Taehyung: how’s anal going by the way?

Jungkook: it is absolutely painful. i can’t even go to class anymore because it hurts so much

Taehyung: hmm. sucks to suck. i warned you not to take it so early.

Jungkook: i was young and foolish. i get it.

Jungkook sighed as he stared over to his neglected analysis (or “anal”, as him and Taehyung preferred to call it) textbooks, ones that he had bought brand new from the bookstore and hadn’t opened since.

Jungkook: so u know this jimin dude?

Taehyung: ya. we were best bros in high school

Jungkook: wat about now?

Taehyung: i mean obviously still but now he’s involved in a bunch of things and i'm just trying to pass lin alg so…

Taehyung: i mean we still meet up occasionally

Jungkook’s curiosity had been piqued before he could help himself. He typed the words Park Jimin into the Facebook search bar.

Jungkook: what does he look like?

Taehyung: black hair, short. idk how to describe him. i think he pretty plain. compared to me.

Jungkook found himself groaning before he could help it. Ugh, one of those people again. After scrolling through two pages of “Park Jimin”s with black hair, Jungkook decided to give up.

Taehyung: yo, how da fuq do you do question 3? what the hell is he even trying to ask

Jungkook: LOL ur asking me

Taehyung: screw it i'm going to sleep. ill do it in the morning

Jungkook: …it’s due at 9:30

Taehyung: i said. ill do it in the morning

And then he was gone, leaving Jungkook alone to contemplate the mystery that was Park Jimin, along with the massacre that was Question 3.

The Facebook message tone rang out again, and though Jungkook had expected it be to Taehyung, it was Seokjin instead. He opened to tab to see one line of e-mail, which undoubtedly had to be Park Jimin’s.

Jungkook stared at the address for a few seconds. Ugh. Who even uses e-mail anymore?

Deciding he had nothing better to do (mostly because question three gave him a headache just to look at), he opened up a new tab and logged into his e-mail, before promptly entering the address that had been given to him.

Hmmm….how should I word this? He had never really tried to e-mail another student professionally before, nor did he know what level of formality to use when addressing this person. Was he a stick in the mud? Was he chill like Taehyung? Jungkook had no clue, and the more he thought about it, the more discouraged he got: he was actually going to try and get help from a dude whom he had never met before. Was he really this desperate?

Exhaling to release any sliver of useless pride he had left, Jungkook brought his fingers to the keyboard and typed to his best discretion:

J, Jungkook

Tutoring Help

Hey,

My name is Jungkook and my friend Seokjin introduced you to me and said you could potentially tutor me.

Let me know if this is possible and when we can meet up.

Thanks,

Jungkook

Jungkook read it over. Once. Twice. After another deep sigh, he recollected himself and pressed send before he could hesitate any longer.

Deciding he had messed around long enough, he promptly turned his attention back to the dreaded question 3. Despite the dizziness he was already feeling in his brain due to the ungodly hour, he boldly picked up his pencil and decided to bullshit through the problem as best as he could.

Ping!

Jungkook nearly jumped at the sudden noise amidst the quiet.

Who’s e-mailing me at this time? Jungkook wondered as he grabbed his phone to check the notification.

He certainly did not expect to see what he saw.

Park, Jimin

Re: Tutoring Help

Hey Jungkook! I would love to…

That was fast. Before he knew it, Jungkook had already unlocked his phone, eager to read the rest of the message.

Park, Jimin

Re: Tutoring Help

Hello Jungkook!

I would love to try and help! Any friend of Jin’s is a friend of mine!

I know it’s short notice but I’m actually quite free tomorrow if you wanted to meet up.

What times are you free tomorrow? We could discuss things over coffee if you’d like!

Regards,

Park Jimin

Jungkook scrunched his nose up in annoyance, feeling turned off by the formal grammar and perfect mail syntax and lack of spelling errors and what kind of person even signs their mail with “regards” anymore? Jungkook scoffed at himself. This was only getting more and more hopeless. Despite that, Jungkook wasn’t really in the mood to hurt the guy’s feelings (yet) seeing as Jimin was so eager to respond. He decided to go along with it for now.

J, Jungkook

Re: Re: Tutoring Help

sounds good. how about 11 at the math café? and do you have facebook or something that I can add you on to make this easier?

He barely had to wait a minute to hear the notification ping again.

Park, Jimin

Re: Re: Re: Tutoring Help

That’s perfect!

And I’m really sorry but I don’t have Facebook. The only thing I use is e-mail so you can feel free to send me any questions or messages here! I’m usually fast at replying. I apologize for any inconvenience.

I’ll see you tomorrow then, Jungkook! I’m off to bed now, have a good night!

Regards,

Park Jimin

“That loser doesn’t have Facebook?!” Jungkook couldn’t help blurt aloud for no one but himself to hear. He was really, really regretting this now. This person clearly seemed like the most stick in the mud nerd in the world. He was still using perfect punctuation in his message, went to sleep early (well, 1 a.m. but still), and evidently still used e-mail as his main form of communication.

Needing an outlet for venting (and realizing it was now past hour of proper comprehension for question three), Jungkook decided to vent in the form of a single lined message to Kim Taehyung who was probably asleep by now and would probably see the bright, uplifting message in the morning:

Jungkook: ugh. leave it to kim freaking seokjin to hook me up with the number one virgin nerd lord in the world.

Jungkook sat patiently on one of the tall chairs at the Math Café, waiting for his nerd tutor to arrive.

It was barely 10:40 a.m., but he’d decided he had nothing better to do after handing in his assignment. Plus he wanted a good excuse not to start the next one. As Jungkook casually sipped his coffee, he could sense quite a lot of dirty looks being thrown at his direction, and he knew exactly why.

If he had to be completely frank with himself, Jungkook really didn’t want to be taught by this person, and he didn’t want to have to say that aloud at any point during their meeting. So instead, he resorted making himself look as unappealing as possible. So there he was, decked out in his old rotten sneakers that had a toe poking out of the right shoe, his old black shorts that he found stuffed between the wall and his bed that hadn’t washed in god knows how long, a pair of black, thick-rimmed fake glasses and a bright, blazing red hoodie that seemed to engulf him. As a bonus, he hadn’t even bothered to take a shower nor brush his hair after he had forced himself to wake up at 7 a.m despite that he only managed to finish the assignment at 4 a.m.

In other words, he looked like a very unfashionable zombie.

And honestly, he loved it. Jungkook was truly in his “fucks-I-give-none” element now.

The minutes started ticking by, and Jungkook kept his eye on the entrance for any sign of a preppily dressed nerd lord, potentially carrying a suitcase. He could only be complete with ugly glasses and maybe even a receding hairline at this rate.

Before he knew it, it was already 11:05 a.m., and no nerd lord in sight.

Jungkook felt slightly disappointed. So nerd lord isn’t as lawful as I thought he’d be.

Ding!

Jungkook’s Facebook messenger notification went off. He swiped to find out that Kim Taehyung was finally awake:

Taehyung: shit. i forgot to do the assignment.

Taehyung: and wait. who’s a virgin nerd lord?

Jungkook was about to respond when another message popped up.

Taehyung: oh. you mean jimin? ya he’s a nerd alright.

Taehyung: maybe not a virgin but definitely a nerd ._.

Jungkook snickered to himself..

Jungkook: he seem like such a by the book guy dough :o

Taehyung: he is. have fun with him. LOL.

Jungkook: thanks L (he’s late btws)

Taehyung: lmao. still? dat boi never shows up on time to anything.

Jungkook sighed. It was now 11:07 a.m., and still no nerd lord in sight. Jungkook was starting to tap his foot in impatience, contemplating if this was a good enough excuse to storm out and call it quits on this whole attempt.

However, his attention was abruptly piqued when something suddenly caught his eye.

Or rather someone.

Jungkook grabbed his phone immediately.

Jungkook: yo. dude. there's a really cute guy walking in rn. omg. were there even cute guys in math?

Taehyung: LOL. and r00d. and i'm in math, remember?

Jungkook: oh shiet. he's coming in here

Taehyung: talk to him.

Jungkook: he seems busy. he’s …dressed up all nicely.

Taehyung: white button up?

Jungkook: ya.

Jungkook: with a black tie.

Taehyung: L.O.L. might as well offer him your ass to him now.

Jungkook: he’s talking to people. he looking for sum1 MAYBE HE ON A DATE

Taehyung: who the fuck would go on a date at the math café

Jungkook: oh shiiiettt he getting closer. w/e I’m just gonna watch. he so out of my league lmao

Taehyung: oh kookie. no one’s out of your league. u just gotta believe

Jungkook: u don’t know what I look like rn. ._.

Taehyung: if you talk to him, i’ll give you five bucks

Jungkook: nah man, I’m gud. I’ll just be happy staring at him.

Jungkook: why the fuq is he so close now. he still talking to people. is he still looking for sum1. O.O

Taehyung: you wish he was looking for u LOL ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Taehyung: by the way. wat happened to ur tutor? no show? LOL.

Jungkook was in the middle of typing “yeah I have no clue” when he suddenly sensed the presence of someone standing by his table.

“Excuse me?” The voice was nice. Smooth yet approachable.

He looked up.

His heart nearly jumped out of his throat.

It was the guy. The guy was at his table. And he was talking to him.

If Jungkook thought the boy was “acutey” from afar, he was freaking beautiful up close. He had silky black hair that draped nicely over the porcelain skin of his forehead. His lips were plump and pretty and pink and Jungkook’s mind was already going to indecent places upon seeing them up close. And what’s more, his slanted, brown eyes were captivating as anything, soft and gentle and the way they were slightly widened in expectancy made Jungkook want to grab him right then and there. And what’s more, he was dressed completely in the style that Jungkook was totally weak for: white shirt, black tie…and the way those form-fitting black pants hugged his…

But instead of letting all the beauty overwhelm his senses and distract him completely, Jungkook suddenly became extremely aware of what he personally looked like, and immediately regretted all of his life decisions.

“Um…can I—uh, like, help you…or something?” Jungkook managed to stutter out very awkwardly.

“Are you Jeon Jungkook by any chance?” the boy smiled.

Jungkook felt his breath catch in his throat. How does he know my name? Jungkook’s brain (slightly abnormal from the lack of sleep) was spinning. Destiny, it has to be destiny, he concluded.

Jungkook coughed. “Yeah. I am.”

The boy’s smile widened. It was blinding.

His brain was running haywire. This is it. This is my reward for suffering in this program for so long. He’s gonna tell me I’m the only sin of pi over two for him. I finally get a sexy boyfriend. Yes, yes, YES—

“I’m Park Jimin, your tutor?” the boy said, still smiling. “We emailed each other last night?”

Jungkook’s smile disappeared as he suddenly lost balance and fell out of his chair in surprise. He crashed harshly to the ground—much like the reality surrounding him at that moment.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU HAD A HOT BEST FRIEND?” Jungkook screamed immediately upon bursting into Taehyung’s room.

Taehyung groaned from his bed. “Why do I feel like—wow, you look ratchet—this has happened before in some alternate universe?”

“What does that even mean?” Jungkook blabbered. “Anyways, I totally made a fool of myself.”

“How bad could it be? It’s you after all,” Taehyung grinned.

“I fell out of my chair.”

Taehyung blinked. “How—”

“It just got exponentially worse, ok?” Jungkook sighed. “I was already tired from the three hours of sleep and then he came up to me which was already not okay and then he just throws the bomb—”

“I think you meant ‘drops the bomb’,” Taehyung mumbled.

“—and I’m lucky I didn’t die, okay? I thought my heart was going to stop. And what nerd lord? I’m sorry, but that ass alone—I’m telling you it has like…no upper bound if ya know what I’m saying.”

Taehyung glared at Jungkook. “What does that even mean? That doesn’t even make sense. His ass is a freaking parabola, of course it has an upper bound—why are you even fast tracking third year analysis—anyways, first of all, you assumed he was the nerd lord. I only told you what I honestly think of him…besides, did he agree to tutor you in the end?”

Jungkook couldn’t help but allow a slight smile to crack onto his face.

“Yea…” he said quietly. He promptly received a pillow in the face.

“Ew. Quit acting like a smitten maiden, it’s grossing me out,” Taehyung grumbled. “But now that I think about it you two should totally date. He’s like your complement: you two complete each other.”

“Ha, as if I have a chance now,” Jungkook sighed. “I’m lucky he just laughed it off. But he probably thinks I’m a loser.”

“Well, he’d find out you’re a loser eventually anyways so it’s better now than later,” Taehyung noted.

Jungkook threw his friend the dirtiest look.

“Anyways, I love how you didn’t even bother putting two and two together: he was obviously your tutor. Why else would he go up to you? You think you’re cute or something?” Taehyung snickered.

Jungkook returned the pillow back to Taehyung with an aggressive throw (but missed). “Shut up. Unlike you, I didn’t have enough sleep last night.”

“Excuses. When do math majors ever get enough sleep? When do we even get anything? We’re all here because we secretly like the pain.”

“Last time I checked I wasn’t a masochist like you.”

“Check again, brother. We all are to some extent,” Taehyung grinned. “Anyways, when are you seeing him again?”

“Friday night,” Jungkook muttered.

“Where?”

“…my place.”

“Ooh.”

Ding dong!

The sound of the doorbell caused Jungkook to jump in his place, accidentally popping his collar up too high as he tried to adjust it.

“Omg, he’s here,” Jungkook muttered to himself, as he practically scampered over to the door and whipped it open.

“H—hey t—there…I mean…uh, sup?” Jungkook sputtered smoothly the moment he caught sight of his spiffy tutor.

Park Jimin blessed Jungkook with a pretty close lipped smile.

“Your grades should be after I’m done with you,” Jimin winked, brushing past Jungkook as he stepped inside.

Jungkook blinked, clearly too slow to get the quip. “What?”

“Where should I hang my coat up, Jungkook?” Jimin asked while Jungkook fumbled with the door.

“Uh—um, I can take it,” Jungkook said quickly, trying not to stare awkwardly as Jimin peeled off his coat. To anyone else, the familiar dress shirt, black tie and tight slacks may not have been the most arousing costume to reveal underneath, but Jeon Jungkook sure as hell tried to hide his gulp as he took the coat from Jimin.

Would it weird if I suddenly just buried my face into this and—yeah, yeah it would. Never mind. Jungkook shook the thoughts out of his mind as he quickly hung the coat in the closet.

“So, where do you want me?” Jimin asked.

“My bedroom,” Jungkook blurted.

“Excuse me?”

“Uh—I meant that we’d be studying i-in my room…y’know, cause there’s a desk and I-I cleared up a space f-for us,” Jungkook stuttered like the absolute value of a loser that he was. Oh my god, this speech issue needs to STOP.

“Oh okay,” Jimin nodded. “Sounds good. Lead the way.”

Jungkook nodded eagerly, and practically leapt two steps up the stairs as he took Jimin to his room. He’d spent the entire morning attempting to clean it up in order to potentially impress his evidently immaculate tutor.

Jungkook opened the door and showed Jimin to the sitting desk that he’d set up.

“You can set up here,” Jungkook gestured. “D-do you want some tea or something in the meantime?”

“It’s fine, let’s just get right to it,” Jimin smiled softly. Jungkook thought he felt his heart skip a beat when Jimin said that. He was weak. So, so weak right now.

And whether or not Jimin noticed, he did manage to say some comforting words: “Relax, I’m not here to make you feel incompetent or anything. I remember struggling insanely in my second year as well, so I’m the last person who’d make fun of you.”

“What year are you in now?” Jungkook asked as he settled down across from Jimin.

“Third,” Jimin smirked. “I’m not saying it gets better, but at this point, at least you’re used to it.”

“Wait…are you taking third year Real Analysis?”

“Yeah, why? Are you planning on taking it next year?”

“Well…things happened…and I’m actually taking the course right now…”

Jimin’s face lit up. “Actually? That means we’re in the same class! What are the chances…wait, how come I’ve never seen you before then?”

It’s because I never go to class, Jungkook thought shamefully. But he couldn’t let Jimin know. Fortunately, Jimin beat him to an excuse.

“Hmm…it’s probably because I always sit alone at the very front row, which is why I don’t see you,” Jimin noted.

“Y-yeah, that’s it,” Jungkook quickly agreed.

“Hey, we should totally sit together from now on!” Jimin blurted suddenly. “I could help you understand what the professor is saying and you…you can keep me company.”

Jungkook was speechless. It hadn’t even been ten minutes and he had already been offered a seat next to his tutor/eternal crush in lecture. For someone in the math program, that was like getting to second base…right? (At least that’s what Taehyung told him all the way in first year.)

Jimin suddenly let out a slight chuckle at Jungkook’s lack of response. “I’m sorry, you must think I’m such a loser,” he confessed awkwardlty. “The nerd that sits at the front of class. Alone. All my friends didn’t want to take the course because they thought it’d be too difficult.”

Jungkook immediately felt a surge of guilt for all the “nerd lord” comments.

“No! No way! Not at all!” Jungkook blabbered in a hurry, waving his hands everywhere. “I-I’ve always thought it was the cooler kids that sat at the front. You know, the ones that truly care and have connections with the prof and stuff.” The latter part, at least, was his genuine thought.

“If you say so,” Jimin smiled. “What about you? Why did you take the course early? You must’ve really liked second year analysis.”

“Um…well…” Jungkook shuffled uncomfortably in his place.

“It’s fine to admit you like it,” Jimin said. “I find it really interesting, personally. Even though I know it’s not exactly the easiest thing.”

“I…I was kind of pranked into taking it…”

“…what?”

Jungkook sighed. “One of my friends told me it would be an easy course to take a minute before course applications were due and…I believed him. I haven’t even taken the second year analysis. I’m just really lost and confused.”

Jimin appeared stunned. “You…you actually believed Analysis, an entire proof-based course, would be an easy course?”

Jungkook nodded unwillingly.

Jimin remained silent for a few more moments before he recovered enough to speak:

“Wow, Jungkook, you really are going to be a handful, aren’t you?”

Jungkook screamed, shoving his head into his papers.

“I don’t get it!” he yelled. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! We’ve already spent so much time and I just don’t understand. It’s a knot in my mind and I just—”

“Jungkook, relax—” Jimin tried as he reached out with his hands in an attempt to calm Jungkook down.

“—I knew I didn’t stand a chance. I’m totally gonna fail this course. I accept it now.”

“Jungkook, calm down….it’s only been five minutes.”

Jungkook’s head perked up. “What? Oh.” He scuffled away, looking embarrassed. “It felt a lot longer than that…”

Jimin laughed at Jungkook’s antics. “I’m sorry you felt that way,” Jimin smiled encouragingly. “I must’ve been a bad teacher then.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “No! No, no, no! That’s not it at all! I’m clearly just stupid, that’s all.”

“Don’t say that about yourself,” Jimin scolded. “I wouldn’t be teaching you if I knew you were hopeless.”

“But like you said, it’s only been five minutes,” Jungkook mumbled.

“Exactly, now flip back to that first lecture and let me teach you.”

Jungkook reluctantly flipped Jimin’s pages back to where they were before, trying to hide his blatant disregard for the topic.

“Don’t look so bored before you even started,” Jimin said as he hit Jungkook lightly on the shoulder. Though he didn’t want to admit it, Jungkook definitely felt a tiny shiver where his attractive teacher’s fingers had lingered.

“But…it’s such a dull topic,” Jungkook groaned, staring at the page of symbols that ought to have been familiar to him…but were not.

“Really? I don’t think so. Difficult to wrap your head around maybe, but definitely not boring,” Jimin stated.

Jungkook shuffled again. “Yeah, well…”

“I’ll do my best to persuade you by the end of all this,” Jimin grinned.

“You seem so passionate about this.”

“Well, of course,” Jimin said at once. “It’s learning how to rigorously prove why we do things the way we do: why we count the way we do, what numbers truly are, why things defined are the way they are. I mean, we only scratch the surface of it all by the end of the course but it’s still quite a beautiful concept. Just like all of math. It’s more abstract than you think. It’s like its own form of art.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but be drawn in by the genuine smile on Jimin’s face as he spoke all of these things that seemed worlds away from how Jungkook felt.

“Wow…” Jungkook uttered dumbly. “I never really thought about math that way…”

Jimin’s smile temporarily disappeared from his face as he turned to look at Jungkook.

“Really?!” Jimin seemed shocked. “Aren’t you in second year?”

Jungkook gulped.

Jimin tilted his head upwards in thought. “Hmm…well I guess it still hasn’t gotten too specific in second year. You still have time. Anyways, I think I’ve rambled on enough. Let’s go ahead and teach you how to prove two is an irrational number…”

Jungkook’s heart throbbed for Jimin as he diligently wrote out the proof for Jungkook, annotating verbally and in detail as he went. After seeing Jimin’s full dedication towards the field of math, Jungkook really didn’t have the heart to tell him that he didn’t feel the same way at all.

But as he continued watching Jimin scribbling out the proof, his handwriting neat and clear, each number crisp and pristine on the sheet of lined paper, Jungkook couldn’t help but become slightly intrigued. The way the tutor’s wrist was poised as he scrawled out his “there exist”s and “such that”s; the way his eyes lit up as he subtly sped up in excitement towards the end…

“There! All finished!” Jimin announced, as he drew two diagonal straight lines to signify the end of his proof. Jungkook said nothing, and merely sat there quietly, carefully observing Jimin’s vibrant and pure expression which had arose from something as mundane as demonstrating a proof.

It was obvious that Jungkook didn’t have the same amount about of passion when it came to math…

…for now.

The feeling of going to a class you hadn’t been to in so long was definitely not a good one.

Despite that bothersome feeling, Jungkook’s lips couldn’t refrain from quirking upwards, knowing who was waiting for him inside.

“Hey, we should totally sit together from now on! I could help you understand what the professor is saying and you…you can keep me company.”

The words echoed repeatedly in the void that was Jungkook’s mind. He tried to hide the wide smile that was cracking onto his face by covering it up with his phone. At the same time, he also kind of needed to check the room number of the lecture hall that he hadn’t been to since the first day of class.

At long last, the doors were in sight. Jungkook practically burst inside, his eyes scanning past the tall, lanky prof and the various cliques of well-dressed Asians and bespectacled over achievers to search for his one and only target in the front row.

As he was wondering whether or not to call out, Jimin noticed him first and waved excitedly, mouthing his name. Feeling slightly embarrassed and not wanting to attract any further attention to himself, Jungkook slightly ducked as he ran over to Jimin.

“Hey, did you have any classes before this?” Jimin asked effortlessly, as if he naturally started conversations all the time (a trait that was foreign to Jungkook).

“No, this is my earliest class,” Jungkook responded stiffly as he arranged his bag below his feet. It was strange to sit in the front row—there was a surprising amount of leg space.

“Lucky~” Jimin drawled, tapping his pen on the side of his tiny desk. “I had an 8:30 this morning. I almost fell asleep.”

“You seem like the early bird type though,” Jungkook commented.

“Really?!” Jimin gaped. “What made you think that?”

“I don’t know...” Jungkook trailed off when he suddenly noticed that Jimin looked…different. Gone were the tie and button-up, to be replaced with a casual black hoodie and a pair of ripped, denim jeans. He looked like any other regular college student.

Well, an extremely cute regular college boy.

“You look different,” Jungkook opted to say.

“Hmm? From what?” Jimin asked, confused.

“From last night.” Jungkook thought he sensed a few people throw questionable looks in their direction as they heard the phrase without context.

Jimin burst into a vibrant laugh. “You didn’t really think I’d come to class in a tie and slacks, did you?”

“Well…I—”

“That was because I didn’t know what kind of student you’d be, so I wanted to show up professional,” Jimin grinned.

Jimin suddenly leaned over the chair arm separating them, ending up much closer to Jungkook than he expected. Another brilliant smile. Jungkook was going to die of a heart attack at this rate.

“I take this as I won’t have to anymore?” Jimin asked, dragging his words out deliberately. “Are you more comfortable with me like this?”

Jungkook stared blankly, having been rendered speechless. Oh my god, how am I going to deal with this? Is he flirting with me? I can’t tell. Do math people even flirt? They have to right? I mean, professors are all married so they must—

“Jungkook?”

“Y-yeah?”

“You dropped your pen, by the way”

Jungkook blinked, only to realize that Jimin was suddenly holding a battered blue pen in his hand.

Oh. So that’s why he leaned over.

“Oh, um, thanks…” Jungkook muttered quickly, grabbing his pen and averting his eyes at once.

“Good morning everybody!” the professor called out. He let out a sigh under his breath. Phew. Saved by the prof. For once.

The professor continued speaking with his thick foreign accent. “Today we will be continuing with the definition of convergence and divergence…”

Jungkook immediately zoned out. Nope. It didn’t even matter that he told himself he’d actually try and pay attention in order impress Jimin for once—neither his heart nor mind seemed to be truly up for it. It was all gibberish, foreign gibberish to him (and some of it even looked like the written script of some language he didn’t know—what the hell was ∀n∊N ∃ x > ∞ supposed to mean?)

The professor was trying to ask questions again, something about a diverging function and Jungkook only sank further into his seat. Why did professors even bother trying sometimes? They should know after so many years of teaching that the only response they’d be getting was a long, uneasy silence.

“Jimin?” The professor called the familiar name, his eyes suddenly directed towards Jungkook’s direction.

Wait, what?! Jungkook bolted upwards from his slouched position under the professor’s eye and swiftly glanced beside him to catch Jimin just lowering his hand having just raised it.

Jungkook stared with widened eyes, almost veering away from the sudden shock.

Oh my god. The prof knows his name. He’s literally that guy.

“That’s false because even when you have two divergent functions, their product isn’t necessarily divergent as well,” Jimin answered with the most confident smile on his face. “Like (-1)n and (-1)n.”

The professor appeared flustered for a moment, but immediately restored himself with a proud smile.

“You’re going a bit ahead but that’s ok, Jimin,” the professor acknowledged. “So as Jimin said…”

But Jungkook wasn’t even listening anymore. Did he even understand a word of what Jimin just said? Not really. He could only stare at Jimin, speechless, and not even trying to bother to hide the slight smile on his face. His heart throbbed violently in his chest. He thought he had sensed it last night, when Jimin completed solving the problem, but after witnessing what he’d just seen, it was all the proof he needed.

The eloquence in which Jimin spoke his words; the confident aura that radiated when he answered the professor without batting an eyelash; the correct and overachieving solution that he’d provided; the thoroughness of the response that proved he knew what he knew; and the numbers and words that spilled out of his mouth as he spoke with that proud and knowing smile…

That was just so…so…

Jungkook gulped, trying to hold the thought back but couldn’t.

..so sexy.

So when Jimin turned to face him, he nearly jumped in his seat, forgetting that as brilliant as Jimin was, he still couldn’t read minds.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Jimin grinned, not noticing Jungkook’s expression as his mind still appeared to be caught up in all the deductions.

Yes you are, Jungkook wanted to say.

“Yeah…totally,” Jungkook responded dumbly. “You’re so good…at this.”

For the rest of the class, Jimin intently watched the prof while Jungkook intently watched Jimin. His heart welled up every time Jimin raised his hand to answer a question. Each and every proof sounded more and more eloquent as they came from Jimin’s lips. He could see the girls in the row behind them rolling their eyes and whispering to one another as Jimin kept raising his hand over and over again but he couldn’t care less.

Jungkook caught himself smiling again before he knew it. He gazed endearingly at Jimin’s profile, who was bent over and scribbling something detailed in his notes. Jimin’s eyes had never seemed this lovely before, not without that spark of excitement within them. And his lips were prettier like this, parted in anticipation as he focussed keenly on the numbers before him.

Jungkook’s heart raced faster and faster as he kept staring dumbstruck at Jimin. As he realized something, Jungkook merely sighed to himself, leaning his hand into face as he continued gazing.

So this must be the beauty of math…

Jimin had class after analysis so Jungkook had to reluctantly part ways with him. Jungkook immediately headed to the familiar Room 441 in the math building, which was the lab where Namjoon worked. Luckily for them, the supervising professor was extremely easy-going, and apparently didn’t seem to care when (his favourite student) Namjoon let all his friends hang out in the lab. Thus, their little group would usually be found hanging out in Namjoon’s lab whenever the prof was out of office.

When Jungkook opened the door, he found the guests of the hour to be Seokjin and their friend Jung Hoseok from Math & Computer Science.

“Hey, Jungkook,” Namjoon waved from his desk. Seokjin and Hoseok didn’t seem to notice as they appeared to be in a deep debate over something.

“Hey,” Jungkook responded, slightly airily as he settled down and pulled his lunch out of his bag.

“Can you at least greet your friend?” Namjoon glared at Seokjin and Hoseok as he chomped down on an apple.

Seokjin’s eyes lit up when he saw Jungkook. “Oh my gosh, finally! A third person! Get over here.”

Jungkook scrambled over and sat next to them, slightly flustered “Why? What is it?”

“You know Dr. Pae, right?” Seokjin asked, almost urgent.

“Yeah, the one who’s popular with all the girls?” Jungkook nodded. “Why?”

“Okay, so you know how he has a girlfriend, right?” Seokjin continued. “The really attractive blonde one?”

“…sure?”

Seokjin slammed his fist down the desk, startling everyone in the lab.

Namjoon tried negotiating between mouthfuls of apple. “Yo, dude, can you like calm dow—”

“Well this boy here—“ Seokjin paused dramatically, pointing at Hoseok. “—claims to have seen him holding hands with a brunette the other day. And guess what? Guess what? He was guiding her with his hand while she was walking over a stone path. Can you believe it? The man’s got game. Man I didn’t know that was what game theory was really about, because if I had known, I would have taken that course.”

“For the last time,” Hoseok grimaced, also placing his hand firmly on the table. “Just because he was holding hands with her, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re in a romantic relationship.”

“He was walking her over a stone path though!” Seokjin argued. “That’s so romance! Who even does that?”

“Maybe she was his sister or something. You don’t know that,” Hoseok asserted.

“Would you hold hands with your sister and guide her over a path for no apparent reason?” Seokjin snarled back, getting more and more aggressive.

“…no.”

“Exactly!”

“But that’s just me though!” Hoseok blurted, on the edge of his seat to fight for his argument. “I’m sure there are brothers out there who would hold hands with their sister.”

“Yeah, if you’re like weirdly close,” Seokjin frowned. “Anyways, Jungkook, we wanted to wait for you to come. What do you think? Romantic or platonic?”

Jungkook stared blankly as he took another bite of his sandwich, trying to avoid the assertive gazes from the both of them as they awaited an answer.

“Um…” Jungkook dwelled as he chewed on his sandwich. “Why don’t you ask Namjoon?”

Seokjin waved his hand dismissively. “You know how he always is. All provisos. He’s always like—“ He dropped his voice three pitches lower. “—everything is situational. We cannot place assumptions until we have more evidence. Blah blah blah—”

“I do not sound like that,” Namjoon interrupted.

“Be quiet, do your work,” Seokjin snapped. “Jungkook, just answer it. Which do you think?”

“Uhh…I agree with Namjoon,” Jungkook replied quickly.

Seokjin threw his hands up in defeat while Hoseok slammed his head on his keyboard.

“Freaking useless. All of you,” Seokjin groaned, stabbing his fork angrily into a piece of chicken. “We’ll settle this now. I can’t handle all these scandals in the math department. First Dr. Lee’s sugar daddy scandal with Dr. Choi and now Dr. Pae. That’s why you get a PhD in math: so you can gain an unbelievable amount of game. Let me market this program, please. I’ll show you what true exponential growth is. “

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Namjoon groaned from behind his computer.

“Oi, where’s Yoongi? Call him. I need to finish this,” Seokjin commanded.

“He has class,” said Hoseok. “He’s coming in like half an hour though.”

“Darn it, I have class then,” Seokjin sighed. “It’s ok. You can ask him and I’ll ask some of my other friends.”

“Why don’t you guys sample for something that might actually be worthwhile data for once?” Namjoon asked cynically.

“Because then I’d have to do more work analyzing it,” said Hoseok. “And I ain’t about that life.”

Seokjin checked his watched, frowning to himself. “I really don’t wanna go to class…” he sighed to himself.

“Yo, we’re math kids,” Hoseok said. “None of us ever wanna go to class. But we have to.”

“Namjoon does,” Seokjin scoffed. “Always.”

“So does Jimin,” Jungkook mentioned subsconsciously, without thinking.

Silence.

“Um…who’s Jimin?” Hoseok asked.

“The guy that’s tutoring him right now,” Seokjin answered. “Thanks to my brilliant suggestion, of course. Well, unless it’s not going well. What’s he like, by the way, Jungkook?”

“He’s like…um…” Jungkook struggled to find the proper words to describe his new tutor.

It suddenly struck him out of nowhere.

“He’s like…Euler’s identity.”

Namjoon dropped his chewed up apple. Hoseok spilled all of his rice while Seokjin merely stared.

“Oh my god, he thinks he’s unworldly and irrevocably beautiful,” Seokjin gaped.

“Jungkook, since when did you even know what that meant?” Namjoon asked.

Hoseok grinned. “It looks like he’s finally got a crush.”

“On Jimin though?” Seokjin gaped. “I mean his grades may be way above average but his looks…they’re a minor fraction of mine. Not even close.”

“What? Are you blind?” Jungkook blurted as he couldn’t help it.

The three others in the room exchanged confused looks (though Seokjin’s was marginally more offended).

Hoseok was the first one to break into a mocking smile. “I think you’re the one who’s blind here,” he said. “Blind for lurve~”

“Shut up!” Jungkook retorted. “I mean, I just met him so…”

“But you do seem awfully smitten already,” Namjoon noted objectively, to which Jungkook had no response.

Seokjin sighed from the side. “Well, there’s really no reason for me to prevent this from happening…for now. But you better not get distracted. He’s there to help your grades. Not…anything else.”

“Like Namjoon helped you back then?” Hoseok cackled from the side, after which he received a wad of napkins in the face, courtesy of Kim Seokjin.

“Anyways, I want to see your grades improve,” Seokjin stated firmly. “Otherwise it defeats the whole purpose of you meeting Jimin.”

Jungkook nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure they will. He’s a good teacher. He’s been very helpful.”

“I’m sure he has,” Hoseok snorted, clearly not giving up the opportunity.

“Can you not encourage him?” Seokjin scolded. “He’s clearly side-tracked enough as it is. Please don’t alter my good intentions.”

“Yeah, I’d never let him live it down,” Namjoon murmured gleefully from the side.

“Can you be quiet? It’s better than you! You just sit there all day and let them do whatever they want,” Seokjin retorted.

“But if he falls in love and gets distracted, I’m gonna’ be right and you’re going to be wrong,” Namjoon considered.

“…are you seriously contemplating the possibility of your junior’s undergraduate career being ruined just so you can be right?”

Namjoon shook his head defensively. “Of course not! Jungkook’s a smart kid…well, he’s passing everything. So I’m sure having a healthy, fun relationship with an intelligent guy wouldn’t hurt anybody. So go get him Kookie.”

“No. The only thing that he’s getting from Jimin is better grades,” Seokjin asserted firmly, seeming completely satisfied with himself.

That is, until Hoseok decided he really, truly could not resist:

“…what if he ends up getting a D instead though?”

For the first time that entire morning, Namjoon had to stand up. And that was only to hold Seokjin back from throwing a chair at Hoseok.

Jungkook crawled into bed earlier than usual that night, feeling strangely enlightened. His chest felt lighter than usual, as if just seeing Jimin for just that hour alone made it all worth it. In fact, if it hadn’t been for all that chaos in Namjoon’s lab, he might have felt completely at ease for the first time in a while.

He couldn’t help but smirk to himself as he cozied under his covers. Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t like math up until now…

Jungkook sighed, arms tucked under his head as he stared at the dark ceiling. Park Jimin. The only thought that seemed capable of occupying his mind. He wanted to witness it again: that eloquence, that beauty when Jimin solved problems.

When he could no longer resist that aching feeling in his chest, Jungkook reached over to his bedside table and grabbed his phone. His finger hovered over the mail app, almost longingly, before he touched it completely on impulse.

Jungkook straightened up to write his message.

J, Jungkook

Hey jimin,

r u free at all tomorrow? I only have one class

I could use some help

sorry if ur busy it��s fine

Unlike the first time, Jungkook couldn’t press send fast enough. His hands quivered as the email was confirmed to be sent. And hopefully, if it was anything like before…

Ping!

His heart nearly dropped in his chest. His mind was ahead of his body as his fingers fumbled to open the message.

Park, Jimin

Lunch Date?

Jungkookie!

Don’t be sorry, I’d always be glad to hear from you ^^

I’m free around lunch time so is there anything you’d like to eat?

uhjdugv

Jimin

He felt like a complete loser, smiling from ear to ear all alone in his bed as he read Jimin’s message. Jungkook could hear Jimin’s encouraging tone of voice in his head, and it was more than gratifying.

And also…what was this about a date?

Jungkook’s heart did a bunch of flips and turns just speculating about what may-be-but-not-really a date with his dreamboat of a tutor.

It’s a…study date. Yeah. That’s all it is. Jungkook tried to calm himself down with the reassuring conclusion.

First thing first, he needed to answer Jimin’s question, with eloquence and tact, as Jeon Jungkook would always do when approaching a crush:

J, Jungkook

Re:

yeeeeeeee totally down.

And also correlating to Jeon Jungkook’s regular behaviour, he only realized how rash and stupid his decision was after he had executed it.

Jungkook buried his entire body beneath his blanket and kicked around violently, not realizing how dumb he sounded until now that the message was declared to be “sent”.

Down? What the hell am I? He’s not Taehyung. I can’t just say whatever I want! Oh my god. What is wrong with me.

The morbidity was too much for his partially unscathed soul as he continuing abusing his blanket and bed, slamming his fists and kicking his legs. That’s it. It was all ruined. His one chance to get a nice tutor and even potentially, with the slimmest probability, a cute boyfriend and he had to ruin all those confidence levels in a heartbeat.

Another ping sounded from his phone, momentarily pausing his rampage as he poked his head out from the bottom of the covers near his bed’s footboard (god knows how he ended up there). He immediately blazed the LCD glow directly into his eyes.

Park, Jimin

Re:

Haha. You’re cute.

I’ll see you tomorrow :3

uhjdugv

Jimin

Jungkook’s eyes widened, after which they blinked slowly in disbelief. Luckily it was dark and there was no one else in the room, because he felt himself turning as red as his hoody from that morning.

Oh my god…did he just call me…cute?

He was frozen in shook. This can’t be real. Not already. Since when did he deserve good things? If the Park Jimin thought he was cute, surely karma didn’t exist.

He countered the negatives in his head, though he did it by adding alternative negative thoughts.

Maybe he just says that to everyone. There’s no way he could think I’m cute, not already.

Jungkook swivelled around on his bed like a confused tortoise, bringing his chin back to rest on his pillows. He pursed his lips into a pout, wondering how to deal with himself. Jimin was slowly but surely corrupting his mind—not that there was much left to corrupt anyways—and this probably wasn’t the best timing. Seokjin was probably going to kill him.

Jungkook sighed to himself, finally flipping himself over into a sleeping position at last. He tucked his arms behind his head, closing his eyes and trying to put himself to sleep after what felt like a long day. Tomorrow was a different day, and sleeping it off was the only thing he could do now to calm his nerves.

When his eyes finally fluttered shut, Jungkook found himself having rather sweet dreams about Jimin that night.

By 2:30 p.m., Jungkook was already waiting in the lobby of their school library.

Despite how eagerly his heart was thumping in anticipation, he tried to maintain a casual appearance. Jungkook had pulled out brand new, unworn shirt and jeans from the closet for this occasion, and he’d already fixed his hair for the nth time that morning (despite that it was near impossible for a strand to be out of place because he’d checked at least another hundred times before he left the house). Needless to say, he wanted Jimin to be impressed for once.

Jungkook bit his lip in anxiety as he checked his watch again (he also never wore watches so the action itself seemed extremely foreign to him). Jimin was late. Again. And he couldn’t help but feel impatient about it.

“Jungkook-ah!”

Jungkook nearly dropped his phone as he heard the voice that he’d been so anxiously waiting for. His eyes lit up as he saw Jimin heading towards him with the brightest smile, black hair bouncing pleasantly as he ran.

“Sorry, I’m late!” Jimin gasped, catching his breath. “The professor kept me overtime. Did you wait long?”

Jungkook returned what he thought to be his most encouraging smile. “No! Not at all! I just got here as well,” he said convincingly.

Despite that he’d spent hours getting dressed in the morning, Jungkook still felt far from worthy of comparison to Jimin. Even though it looked like he wasn’t trying at all, Jimin had to be at the very, very least an 8 out of 10 in his glasses, bomber jacket and ripped jeans.

Jungkook held back a sigh. Their little date hadn’t even started yet and he already felt discouraged.

“So, where did you want to go?” Jimin asked.

“Nowhere in particular, as long as it’s with you,” Jungkook answered, the last part coming out a lot more honestly than he’d intended.

Fortunately, Jimin’s smiled only widened. “That’s good. I had a particular place in mind. And you look like you could use a little sweetness in your life.”

Jungkook blinked. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he frowned, blatantly confused. Is sweetness supposed to code for something?

Jimin laughed, seeming embarrassed.

“Nothing. I just wanted to…joke around a little…”

Moments later, Jungkook found himself sitting with Jimin at a nearby desserts café, with a giant strawberry and chocolate waffle sitting in front of him, topped with insane ice cream and whipped cream quantities that could only be considered outliers.

The cringing agony arrived much too late for Jungkook. Oh my god, he was trying to tell a punny joke and I was too busy trying to analyze whether or not he was flirting with me that I didn’t even bother laughing. This is already going wrong. So. Horribly. Wrong.

But all this time, Jimin hadn’t seemed to notice. He was just pleasantly sipping on his customized hot mocha beverage that had a cute latte heart design in it, humming slightly as he flipped back and forth through the notebook he was holding in his hands.

“Um…Jimin?” Jungkook spoke up.

Jimin looked up from his pages, meeting eye contact with Jungkook as he adjusted his glasses.

“What’s wrong?” Jimin asked, mildly concerned. “Did you not like it? My friend swears it’s good.”

Jungkook gulped, trying not to let himself be distracted by the glory that was bespectacled Jimin. “You really didn’t have to buy this for me…”

Jimin dropped his notebook, reaching up to push his glasses onto his nose bridge before looking directly at Jungkook (whose heart skipped a beat with 100% certainty) as he spoke:

“We’re all poor university students,” he said rationally, with a gentle smile. “You know better than to give up free food. Now eat up before it all melts.”

It took a few moments for Jungkook to even process what Jimin was talking about—he had been distracted by glasses after all. Surprisingly and spontaneously obedient, Jungkook nodded promptl as he swiftly picked up his fork with a shaky hand and pressed through the soft cream and pastry.

“Now,” Jimin continued speaking as he leaned his pretty face into hand and looked at Jungkook through his glasses. “Should we start going through these notes or should I wait until you finish eating?”

Jungkook wanted to slam his head into the wall. His mind was clearly not in the right places, not after seeing that upward gaze that appeared much too sultry for no reason in particular.

“Feel see to fart!” he blurted. Shit. “I mean, feel free to start!” The idea of stabbing himself with the fork to end it all was slowly becoming more and more attractive.

Curtly, Jimin ignored Jungkook’s little stumble and proceeded to go through how to calculate expectations and variances of a distribution. Jungkook tried hard to listen, he really did, but he kept slipping in and out of a distracting mood. He continued staring at Jimin, the way his bangs slightly fell over the frame of his glasses as he was bent over and writing on the paper.

Jungkook sucked on his fork, eyes slightly lidded as he watched Jimin. Hmm…this waffle tastes so, so much sweeter than I expected it to…

“Do you get it, Jungkook?” Jimin asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

Jungkook tried to not choke on the whipped cream. “Hmmph, what?” he garbled unattractively.

“Do you get what the difference is between an expectation and a variance?”

Jungkook stared blankly. “Uh, well…”

Jimin shuffled uncomfortably in his chair. “If you don’t get it, Jungkook, you can just tell me,” he said. “Honestly, don’t be afraid, despite what you’ve heard about me.”

Jungkook’s attention was suddenly caught. “Hmm? What? What have I heard about you?”

Jimin smiled. He added an unexpected shrug before saying, “Well I don’t know, Jungkook. Last I heard someone thought I was a ‘nerd lord’, didn’t he?”

Jungkook froze. I’m gonna kill that lanky asshole, he thought ominously, as the mental image of Kim Taehyung’s best trolling face floated into his mind.

He laughed nervously, scratching the nape of his neck as he spoke next. “Well, that was like…before I knew you. And stuff.”

“Really?” Jimin asked, leaning forwards slightly. “Well…what’s changed since then?”

Jungkook felt like he’d been pushed into a corner, not sure how to answer this. Especially when Park Jimin was looking at him so expectantly, with a slight curve on his lips like that.

“Um....you’re…you’re actually a good teacher?” Jungkook said stiffly, trying to say anything but the things that were a bit more easily retrievable within his conscious mind.

“Oh,” Jimin pursed his lips, barely looking disappointed. He sank back into his seat, flipping quickly through his notes as Jungkook was left alone to contemplate what he had done wrong.

“Why don’t you try this problem for me?” Jimin said, pushing the notebook towards Jungkook. Jungkook took the pages hesitantly, and wondered if he was only imagining that Jimin’s tone had become slightly colder than before.

Deciding to ignore his qualms, Jungkook grabbed his pencil and kept his head down and focussed in determination. Regardless of how it would turn out with Jimin, he should probably focus on the real reason why he was there in the first place.

But much to his dismay, he found that the distractions had been too much, as always. He kept writing and erasing, scratching out answers and replacing it with others. Before long, his page was a mess, and he wasn’t any closer to the answer.

He gritted his teeth, erasing yet another line. C’mon Jungkook, focus. If you want him to not be discouraged of teaching you, you gotta try harder.

But it seemed hopeless. The overcrowded page seemed to mock him with ridicule, questioning why he was starting to confuse his variables and miswrite his numbers. It was starting to give him a headache just to look at.

He heard Jimin shuffle from across him. Oh no, he’s leaving. Crap. Why do I have to be so stupid? His eyebrows scrunched in annoyance as wrote down something that seemed to be right, but he had already seen before.

“Need help?” Jimin’s voice asked suddenly, right next to him.

Jungkook finally let out the sigh of frustration he had been holding in for so long. He turned towards the direction of Jimin’s voice.

“Yes! I’m sorry I—”

Jungkook stopped midsentence as he found that Jimin’s face was right in front of him, as Jimin was bent over his shoulder and looking intently at the problem in front of them. He leaned back slightly in an instant, though it was still close enough for him to realize how smooth and soft-looking Jimin’s poufy cheeks were.

“You’re actually on the right track, Jungkook,” said Jimin, as he gazed knowingly at Jungkook’s messy work. “Besides…”

Much to the dismay of Jungkook’s poor, soft and fragile heart, Park Jimin had to turn at that very moment so that their eyes and lips were less than centimetres away from each other.

“I’ve never seen you try that hard before…” Jimin said. It was as if his voice was coated with sugar.

Jungkook visibly gulped, not even bothering trying to hide it. He tried to lean back some more but there was no room left to go.

“You were really cute,” Jimin murmured as his smile widened. “I’ve never seen you like that before.”

Ba-dump.

It was a miracle Jeon Jungkook didn’t faint right there and then.

end of part 1!

part 2 coming soon on tumblr OR read the full story on AO3 ^^

A/N: ...yeah. Part of me hates myself for doing this can you tell? XD Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it at least a little~ and saw a new perspective on math through this :3

Anyways, I neglected my midterm to squeeze this out in time for VDay so I hope it made you smile, somewhere, somehow :D

#jikook #so many bad math jokes #and bad jokes period #jimin #jungkook #bts #regrets?#yeah all of them tbh #fanfic #vday fic

73 notes · View notes

houseofkooks · 8 years ago

Text

WINGS IN NEWARK <3

OK SO TODAY WAS THE BTS CONCERT YES TODAY WAS D DAY THIS WAS IT THIS WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY FUCKIGN LIFE AND OMG OMOGMOGMOMG I HAVE SO MANY FUKING FEELS RIGHT NOW I MUST WRITE OK SO

first of all the pre-concert period was a shitshow ok bt SO WORTH IT FASTFORWARD OK SO

ok when we first sat down it was just like so overwhelming and beautiful to see so many people who love bts sitting together in the same space

spring day mv was playing and everyone was singing along and it was so beautiful

and then the intro started to play and it was just the boys and honestly i don’t really remember what it’s about now i just know i teared up rly bad because i was sosososoososso EMO. like thankful i think? to be able to stand there and to be able to actually see the boys up close

lke i was just so overwhelmed fjljalgkjLKJDFKA and then they came out like they actually appeared behind the screen and then omg all hell broke loose like ya girl and everyone else did not understand the meaning of chill and self control ok. NOT TODAY was first and it was so fucking lit and my first impression was that omg. THEY WERE! CLOSE!!!!!!!

SO CLOSE I COULD SEE JUNGKOOK’S THIGH MUSCLES AND I WAS LIKE OMGOGOGOGOGMOG like i felt bad for always keepign my eyes of jungkook but i just can’t NOT. pretty sure i screamed JUNGKOOOOK JUNGKOOKIEEEEEE like 5293509159 times today

but then it’s good because they also did solo songs that allowed me to really appreciate each member!!!!!!!

begin was first and lemme tell u ya girl almost lost it like legit screamed my fucking throat out “JUNGKOOK!!!!!! JUNGKOOOOOOOK MY BABYYYYY MY BAAAAABY” and he’s just so good like he was SOOO GOOD like his dancing was amazing and likeit started with him spinning on the circle and im so glad i got to watch it live because you could really feel the emotion in his voice like this song is emotional and about how he loves his hyungs so much but in the fancams, you could really just see how good the dancing is. BUT LIVE!!!!! HE IS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL SINGER I LOVE HIM SO MUCH and he did the dance so well and he’s just so perfect and beautiful and wonderful in every way

lie was next and omgOMGOMGO ok jimin killed it like he really really did. like it was just so amazing the dancing the singing. lik the dance is just good already but it was so good with the whole stage and the whole choreo and also THE BLINDFOLD!!!!!!! HE PUT ON THE BLINDFOLD like thats jst such good art directing? choreo? idk it’s just like IMPACT ok it was so great

i dont rly remember who’s next

i think they did group songs and then it was yoongi’s?

the yoongi solo was soo. EMOTIONAL. I SWEAR OMG I LOVE THE ORCHESTRA AND THE FACT THAT HE WAS SITTING IN FRONT OF A PIANO SINGING HIS LOVE FOR PIANO AND MUSIC AND THE WHOLE PERFORMANCE. FDJSAKGJ;LAKJGLKAJ ; like honestly it’s oen of my favorite songs from the album because it’s so well written and he does it sosososososo well like the emotion is so palpable and raw even in the track, especially the last verse. so it was so good to just hear it live and it was just that much more stunning and impactful and just SUCH AN EXPERIENCE. i love the song so much

ok and then namjoon was next and his intro really fucked me up because it took me a lil bit to realize but it’s their “road” song with the heya heya and it’s mixed with whalien 52 for a little bit and idk why but it made me so emo. like the road song is about their hard journey and how they’ll work their hardest to try to reach the end of the road and i lovelovelove how namjoon used that in his intro because i think it’s so beautiful and sobering to know that the song means a lot to him? because thinking about it, he probably was under so much pressure not only for his own success but also for his teammates and it must’ve been hard on him as a young boy who’s really just been the “smart guy” who decided to follow his dream but then ended up having to be responsible for a whole group of boys who are like family to him, and their collective success. and i love that he included whalien 52 because he wrote it and it’s still to this date one of my favorite songs because it’s so cute but sad and real at the same time, which is kinda like namjoon’s embodiment? the song fits him so well like it’s just how he’s like the lonely whale that people don’t seem to understand because he’s on his own wavelength. i’ve always felt this vibe that ofc bangtan are all close but namjoon’s thoughts are so deep and abstract and mature sometimes that the rest of the boys don’t relate very well? like lol especially the maknae line BUT OK ANYWAY I DIGRESS. i really appreciated namjoon’s song because it was like a nice chill break which is what it was like in the album too. BUT MY FAVE PART OFC IS WHEN AT THE END HE KEEPS REPEATING “I WISH I COULD LOVE MYSELF” AND EVERYONE REPEATED TO HIM, “WE LOVE YOU” omg i’m getting emo just typign this out i really really wanna see how he reacted when he first heard it. omg ok anyway the end IT WS GREAT

taetae was next and omg his high notes were literally like wowowowowowoww like wow i’m so proud of him but TBH i couldn’t really hear bc the screams were unreal during his high notes BUT STILL HIS STAGE PRESENCE WAS GR8 and like idk it was just so good and he was so passionate and im so proud of him for all those high notes and also CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT HOW. CUTE. HE IS. LIKE HE’S LITERALLY SOSOSOSOSOS HANDSOME LIKE HE’S SO BEAUTIFUL. ALSO HE KEPT COMING OVER TO OUR SIDE AND SMILING AT US AND I’M NOT SURE WHETHER HE SAW US BUT IT ALMOST LOOKED LIKE WE MADE EYE CONTACT?!?!?!?!?! IDK?!?!?!?!?! BUT OK ANYWAY IT WAS GR8 HE WAS SO GREAT

OMG im falling asleep ok i’ll quickly write the rest

BUT OMG OK HOBI’S WAS SO GOOD. LITERALLY. MAMA WAS EASILY THE BEST PERFORMANCE OUT OF ALL THE SOLOS AND I’M NOT EVEN A HOBI STAN LIKE OMG?!?!?!!! it was just so energetic and upbeat and exciting at first but then there’s all these pictures of hobi from when he was little and they were the cuuuutest. but also!! then there’s this part where he pauses everything and it’s just him sing-rapping and it was just so EMOTIONAL AND TUGGED AT MY HEARTSTRINGS AND JUST SO POWERFUL AND MEANINGFUL like you could really tell he was singing with his whole heart for his mom and it was just the best THE BEST LEMME TELL U ok moving on im fallin asleep

JIN yes ok it was just good bc his song is good and i don’t really remember but i made sure to scream loud yes good ok moving on WAI TIT’S SO SHORT UGHHGHGHGH ok anyway not the point

THE POINT IS!!!!!!!!!

namjoon is the best i love him so much like during the ment he was talking aobut the rainbow army and then he said that he thinks music transcends anything like language and race and he said “i don’t care if you’re red or blue or orange (referring to the balloon colors” and i thought that was so clever because it was like a metaphor for real life races and i think it’s so fitting given the current political climate in the us and i’m so proud of him for bringing this up!!!!!! also the part where everyone sang together and they all thanked us and i was just like TTTTTTTTT bc I REALLY WANT TO THANK THEM because namjoon was like, as long as we love each other, you’ll never walk alone and YOU KNOW WHAT. IT’S TRUE. IT’S SOSOSOSOSO TRUE. at one of the concert i just looked at them and got emo because no matter what happens in life next, no matter how sad or angry or frustrated or disappointed or tired i get, they’ll always be there to cheer me up. i’m so happy that i foudn them and that i love them so much because it’s so nice to have them with me :) they always make me laugh and i respect them so much. what i confirmed today is that they really are so sososos hardworking and sososos talented and definitely deserving of all the love they receive. i’m so proud of where they are now. I REALLY AM. during 2,3 there was a video of just their growth from the beginning and it made me SO EMO OK. like i haven’t been a fan since the beginning and i wish i have but the fact that they made it from being a literal NUGU to being so so big that they filled up prudential center. they’re SO GOOD LIVE. aside from talent, they’ve also improved so much and that just shows how hard they work. i’m so appreciative of their hard work and the fact that they were able to make it this big because of their hardwork and talent. they really are an amazing group of individuals!!!!!! like such a wonderful group of boys that are incredibly talented but also have such big kind hearts and are so funny and entertaining but also relatable and down to earth and friendly and inspirational. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FJDKLAJG;KJ!!!!!!!! so yes the whole time i was just marveling at the fact that they’re thanking us when I WANT TO THANK THEM SO MUCH. i know it sounds stupid but they really do encourage me and make life better for me fjsklajg I LOVE THEM.

ok quick ranking after the show

1. jungkook bc how can i ever leave him i am already committed for life like i wanted him to f me in the closet after the concert ok. like i just love him so much there’s no contest

2. namjoon still because he’s literally PERFECT so talented so deep so beautiful so smart so inspirational like he’d be the perfect boyfriend to talk to my worries with and he’s also really cute and funny and dorky and he just makes me laugh MY BABS

2.5. NOW --> hoseok HIS STAGE PRESENCE IS LITERALY NO. JOKE. he was sososos good during boy meets evil also and like he just COMMANDS THE STAGE and he enjoys it so much and i love him he’s so happy and so easily excitable and also such a sweetheart like there are videos of him picking up pokemon plushies on the stage and then he also noticed jre and pointed at him like he’s SO DOWN TO EARTH AND FRIENDLY AND RELATABLE AND JUST SUCH A CUTIE i luv him

3. FOR NOW --> JIMIN wow wat a surprise but he’s LITERALLY SO CUTE LIKE OK HE LITERALLY WALKED IN FRNT OF US?!??!! LIKE HE WAS SO CLOSE I COULD ALMOST TOUCH HIM!?!? AND HE WAS JUST SO CUTE!!! LIKE SO. CUTE. i’ve been reading posts about how he looks scary and intimidating like cold city man in “real life” BUT HE’S SO CUTE. HE’S SO CUDDLY AND SMILEY AND JUST SO CUTE LIKE HE RADIATES SOFTNESS nd he was so close to us and he waved at us and he’s so nice i luv him also ALSO his dancing is seriously so good like every time someone’s dance move catches my eye i’m like ooh who’s that and it would turn out to be jimin LIKE WOW FDJALKGJ; he really is so good at dancing

3.2. FOR NOW --> TAETAE!!!!!! HE’S SO CUTE HE’S SO CUTE HE LOOKED OVER TO US SO MANY TIMES TODAY AND HE’S JUST LITERAL FANSERVICE KING LIKE I DON’T REALLY WATCH HIS FANCAMS BUT HE’S LITERALLY always ALWAYS interacting with the audience and he’s so cute and he keeps winking or giving out hearts or just watching the audience and it’s just soft and nice and beautiful and it makes me feel important and loved and i love LOVE KTH HE’S SUCH A SOFT SMOL BALL like i love how he really does make an effort to make the fans feel loved and important <3 3 <3

4. yoongi!!!!!!!! yoongi is always good his performance is always ON FIYAHHHHHHH but i didn’t really get the chance to watch him closely LOLOL but i love him as always

5. mama jin my dearest oppa he’s so cute and has the cutest personality and is so funny so he really shines through in vlive or bombs or whatever and i always love him always but i think he gets shadowed over during concerts :(( bc he doesn’t have a lotta parts? and he doesn’t really have like the best stage presence (lolol i find it kinda funny that he frowns so much when he sings fjdkfljalkjg) BUT I REALLY DO LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM A LOT FJDKLAJ;GLK I LOVE ALL OF THEM

conclusion: i love bangtan so much i love every single one of them i am so thankful they are in my life and i can’t wait to continue stanning them forever because WE NEVER WALK ALONE and i can’t wait to see grow bigger and better so i can keep attending more and more concerts fjdksajglk I LOVE BTS BANGTAN SONYEONDAN I LOVE! KIM NAMJOON! KIM SEOKJIN! MIN YOONGI! JUNG HOSEOK! PARK JIMIN! KIM TAEHYUNG! JEON JUNGKOOK! BTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

#seriously i love them so much i LOVE THEM #today was the best #it's so surreal #i don't even want to remember that the concert's over :((#but it's ok #they're still the best like i seriously don't think i'll even have withdrawals #because they always keep us updated :)#<3 they're seriously the best #i LOVE THEM #word vom

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anoldwound · 8 years ago

Text

And My Wasted Heart Will Love You - Kurt/Finn [Glee]

Title:

And My Wasted Heart Will Love You

Characters/Pairings:

Kurt/Finn

Rating:

PG-13

Spoilers/Warnings:

Some slight sexual content

Word Count:

~3000

Summary:

I'm supposed to be trying to get over him, and instead I invite him over to my house for an imaginary party. Oh, God... what am I going to

wear

A/N:

I have no clue if I got these characters right, but I gave it a shot. Kurt was absolutely, positively certain that he was going to be alone for the rest of his life. Call it Drama Queen Syndrome if you want, but it was still true, and he was in the mood for sitting around his room moping and feeling sorry for himself. He absently stabbed his desk with the pencil he was supposed to be doing his Algebra homework with as Joni Mitchell played in the background, and he thought about Finn's smile and his eyes and the way they would look at him sometimes, inspiring a small germ of hope inside his chest, only to be quashed the instant he remembered that Finn loved Quinn and not him – and would never love him, ever. Unless he was secretly bisexual. He could at least be a little bi-curious, right? Right?

No, he isn't,

Kurt angrily told himself, focusing his attention back to the imaginary numbers equation he was supposed to be doing. Imaginary numbers. Imaginary, like the entire fantasy world he had constructed around –

STOP IT.

Oh, God. He was so, so pathetic. His forehead hit his desk with a light thud. How was he supposed to concentrate on anything when his life was so... so

sad

? “Kurt?” The door cracked open slightly. Kurt looked up to see his dad peeking through the doorway at him. “Dinner's ready.” He gave a heavy sigh. “I'll be right out...” “Why is your room so dark? Is everything all right?” “No. But I don't want to talk about it.” A pause. “Okay.” The slit of light from the hallway disappeared, and Kurt sighed again. He switched off the lone desk lamp that illuminated his stupid homework that was utterly pointless, just like his pointless life and his pointless love for Finn. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to breathe in anything he could from the air around him, like some kind of courage, courage to get over Finn, courage to find something else to occupy his thoughts with, instead of this ceaseless aching in his heart. He remembered one time at football practice, as he forced himself to stare at his feet in the locker room instead of the men in various states of undress around him. He curled his toes and tapped his feet together three times. You could see some of the veins around his ankles. His eyes flicked over to the feet next to his, Finn's feet, pale like his but bigger. You could see the veins around his ankles as well, only they were not as delicate as his own. He idly wondered if he ought to suggest he and Finn go to a tanning booth together as Finn grabbed a dirty white sock and yanked it on. “Finn,” he said, jerking his head up. Finn looked over. “Yeah, what's up?”

Oh God, he's not wearing a shirt.

He felt a blush creep up his neck, which he began scratching nervously. “We're really pale.” He stared. “Um... yeah, I guess so.” “I hear there's a new tanning salon in the town center... do you wanna go there with me sometime?”

Oh my God, why am I asking him this, why in the world would he want to go to a tanning booth, what is wrong with me, oh my God why is he still not wearing a shirt?!

“Well... I mean, I guess it sounds... uh... well, you have fun.” He patted him on the shoulder and stood up, drying his hair with the towel as he walked away. Kurt gazed forlornly after him and wished that there was a way to travel back in time so you could kick your own ass before you said idiotic things to the man you were desperately in love with. Presently, Kurt picked his head up off of his desk and splayed his hands on top of his worksheet. Perfectly manicured nails, soft, white skin, the black cuffs of his new Calvin Klein top perfectly folded into neat triangles. Always impeccably dressed, with flawlessly coiffed hair, the height of fashion and fabulousness – why did nobody love him the way he wanted to be loved? He wasn't ever going to find anyone. He was always going to fall for the unattainable straight guy, and that was that. “Kurt! Your dinner's gonna get cold!” “I'm coming, I'm coming!” he yelled back. The smell of Chinese food wafted through the air as he opened the door, and it reminded him of Finn for no reason other than everything reminded him of Finn. *** The bell rang for second period and Kurt's feet were taking him to the hallway where Finn's locker was located, even though it was nowhere near his next class. Finn always went to his locker before second period to get his science textbook, and normally Kurt would feel like a stalker for knowing this but he had found that out completely by accident one day, so whatever. His heels clacked against the linoleum, and his heart began racing when he saw Finn coming down the opposite end of the hallway. Finn looked distracted, and headed immediately to his locker, hands fumbling at the lock. Kurt's heart was practically thumping in his stomach as he got closer (why did he always have this reaction, he saw Finn almost every single day, God he was such a mess), and he took a shuddering breath before he said, “Hello, Finn.” “Hey,” Finn mumbled, not looking at him. He finally got his locker open and grabbed his textbook. “How's it hanging?” “Fine, thank you.” Kurt gripped the strap of his satchel tightly. “Yourself?” “Not great.” He slammed his locker shut. “Quinn's acting weird again.” He hesitated, then turned to face him. “You wouldn't happen to know more about this pregnancy hormone stuff than I do, would you?” “Sorry. Can't help you there.” He smiled. “Maybe you should look it up on Google or something. The World Wide Webs.”

The World Wide Webs? What?

“I did. I still don't really get it, though,” Finn said, breaking eye contact. They stood there in silence for a few more seconds, Kurt drinking in Finn's face while Finn stood there uncomfortably. Finally Finn said, “Well, I should head to class now, I guess.” “Yeah. Have fun.” Kurt stood rooted to the spot as Finn brushed past him. He felt his chest constrict with pain and the smile faded from his face. On an impulse, he spun around and cried, “Wait!” Finn stopped in his tracks and turned around. “Yeah?” “Um – ”

crap gotta think of something

" – there's gonna be a little get-together at my house tonight. For Glee. Pump us up before sectionals. Do you wanna come?” Finn grinned. “Yeah, sure! Sounds awesome.” “Great! I'll see you at five tonight.” “See ya!” He waved and continued along his way. Kurt's grin froze like his teeth were simply clenching.

Oh Dear Lord.

There were, of course, no actual plans for a get-together. What on earth was he going to

I'm supposed to be trying to get over him

, he lectured himself in Algebra a few minutes later, as the teacher went over the homework he had never managed to finish.

And instead I invite him over to my house for an imaginary party. Oh, God... what am I going to

wear

Kurt waited until the teacher's back was turned, then discreetly pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and began to text Mercedes.

Mercedes u need to come ovr 2 my house 2night wat y bcuz I told finn there was gonna b a prty but there isnt boi wat iz tha matta wit u idk but u have to come or im screwd cant i have planz but lemme txt tina k thnx

He flipped his phone closed and exhaled slowly. It was going to be okay.

Somebody

had to be free tonight, right? *** Nobody was free that night. Kurt laid down on his bed at 4:45 pm, his face smothered with the silk shirts and black pants spread out across his duvet. What was he going to

? It was going to look like he set this up on purpose. He was even wishing that Finn was bringing Quinn, although he probably wasn't, since she had left rehearsal early because she wasn't feeling well.

Oh, God. Okay, do NOT have a panic attack.

He sat up straight and smoothed his hair.

This is completely manageable. Just tell him the truth – that everyone was busy and that it's just me and him, and he can leave if he wants. Okay? Okay.

First, though, there was the urgent matter of his ensemble. After selecting the appropriate outfit (his Alexander McQueen sweater and some nice, form-fitting tuxedo pants by Oscar de la Renta), the doorbell rang. “I'll get it!” he yelled, and ran upstairs to answer the door. Just before opening it he took a deep breath and pulled down his shirt. “Hello,” he said, smiling up at Finn, who was alone. “Hey.” He looked inside. “Where is everybody?” “They were all busy,” Kurt said, tucking his hair behind his ear. “Jerks, the lot of them!” He chuckled faintly. “So... it's just you and me?” He looked wary. “Yeah. But you can just leave if you want; it's fine,” Kurt said hastily. “I'll reschedule. No biggie.” He waved his hand around like a buffoon and promptly wanted to commit suicide. “Eh...” Finn shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked his feet back and forth. “I guess I can stay for a little while. I don't have anything else to do.” Kurt's heart leaped. “Well... okay, then!” He stepped aside. “C'mon in!” “That sucks that everyone just canceled on you,” Finn said as he entered. “Well, to be fair, I only came up with the idea last night.” Kurt shut the door closed. “I shouldn't have expected that everyone could make it on such short notice.” “Ah.” Suddenly, Kurt's dad came out from his bedroom. “Hey Kurt, what's – ” He froze as he caught sight of Finn. “...Hello.” “Dad! This is Finn Hudson. You remember him?” He stared at Finn almost suspiciously. “Yeah. You're the quarterback, right?” Finn nodded. “He's also in Glee, Dad.” His dad's eyes slipped over to his. “What's he doing here?” “T-there was gonna be a party. For Glee. But no one else could come.” Kurt gave him as much of a “BACK OFF” look as he could without Finn noticing. “Huh.” He looked back at Finn. “You're the guy with the pregnant girlfriend?” “...Yes?” “Hmmph.” He looked him up and down, then said to Kurt, “Keep the door open, okay?” “

Dad!

”

Oh my God I am going to KILL HIM.

“It's not

like that

.” “Yeah, well...” He scratched his head and turned back in the direction of his room. “I'm gonna... go now...” He took one last look at Finn, then at Kurt, before he went back in his room and closed the door. “Oh my God, I am

sorry,” Kurt immediately apologized. Finn put a hand up. “Don't be. It's all right. Parents are weird and embarrassing. It's like a law of nature.” “Thanks.” He tucked his hair behind his ear again. “So, what do you wanna do?” He thought for a few seconds, then exclaimed, “Oh, dude! There's this hilarious YouTube video you have to check out! C'mon!” Finn grabbed Kurt's arm and started heading down the hallway. Kurt felt his skin go prickly and warm and cold all at the same time. “Wait... where's your room?” “You're heading in the right direction, don't worry.”

He's going to be in my room. Where my bed is. Fffffff –

“Oh, okay.” He let go of Kurt's arm and they went downstairs. Finn sat at Kurt's desk and clicked on Firefox. “I saw this yesterday and I just about died laughing. I think you'll like it.” “I can't wait.” Kurt dragged another chair over and crossed his legs. He was so close to Finn he could smell his aftershave. Finn eagerly went onto YouTube and found the video. “Here it is. You're gonna laugh, I promise.” Finn was right; Kurt was laughing so hard his stomach hurt. Finn was laughing as well, and they collided into each other several times as they rocked back and forth in their chairs and sang along, and Kurt would've sworn that Finn was doing it on purpose if he didn't know any better. Once the video was over, Kurt said, “I think we have an inside joke for life now – 'I'm a little man, and I'm also evil, also into cats'.” Finn chortled. “Nobody's gonna get it. It'll be awesome.” They both giggled, but the laughter faded away until they were simply staring at each other. For once, Finn didn't look away. “What should we do now?” Finn asked. “Well... any more absurdly funny YouTube videos?” He felt his heart go

thump thump thump

. “None that I can think of.” He finally averted his gaze. “Have any good movies? Or maybe I should leave.” “Why?” he asked quietly. “I dunno. Maybe I'm intruding.” “You're not intruding,” Kurt whispered.

What am I doing? This can't possibly end well. Snap out of it, Kurt Hummel.

“Um...” Finn shifted in his seat. “Okay. S-so... what movies do you have?” He abruptly stood up and inched away. “I have lots of movies. Depends on what you're in the mood for. Drama, comedy... romance...”

Seriously, what am I doing?! Stop making sad attempts to flirt! Jesus Christ.

“A comedy sounds good.” He looked decidedly nervous. Kurt tried to compose himself. “Great! The DVD rack is over there.” He pointed at the rack next to his TV. Finn picked up one of the DVDs and smirked. “Spider-Man.” “I don't believe that falls into the realm of 'comedy', but feel free to put it in anyway.” Kurt propped his feet up on Finn's vacated seat. His feet tingled. “I wouldn't think you'd like this kind of movie.” “Spider-Man is Spider-Man. Also, James Franco is ridiculously hot.” Finn laughed and put the DVD in, then sat awkwardly on the edge of Kurt's bed. Kurt felt himself begin to get... well,

excited

, so he took his feet off the chair and crossed his legs again.

The Holocaust. The time you found Dad's porn stash in the linen closet. Maggots. Lots and lots of maggots.

After a minute or so of that he calmed down and watched the movie with Finn, valiantly fighting the strong urge to jump on his bed and pin Finn down and start making out with him. They were about twenty minutes into the movie when Finn said, “Listen, Kurt – ” His breath caught in his throat. “Yes?” “We're... we're friends, right?” “I like to think so.” “Then – can I be honest with you?”

Oh, boy. Here it comes. Rejection City.

“Absolutely.” He braced himself. Finn cleared his throat. “I'm sure I'm gonna seem completely full of myself when I say this, but – I keep getting the feeling lately that, like, you have this... this thing for me? Or something? I'm probably just reading too much into it. I don't want to sound like one of those guys who thinks all gay dudes are in love with him or something, I just – yeah.” Kurt found himself almost unable to form coherent syllables. “Yeah – well – sure, I could understand where you, uh, may have gotten that, um, impression.” “Really? So there's nothing to it, then?” This was it. The moment of truth. Was he going to chicken out and say no, or was he going to admit it? Finn looked at him expectantly. “Well...?” Kurt took a deep breath. “It's... true.” He blinked. “Oh.” “Yes. I do sort of... have a... thing for you.” He felt like he was going to throw up. Every inch of him was trembling. “I'm sorry.” “Don't apologize, Kurt,” Finn said. He looked sad. “

I'm

the one who should be sorry. You deserve better than to be into

.” “You shouldn't sell yourself short like that, Finn.” “That's not what I meant. What I meant was...” He walked over and sat in the chair next to Kurt. “You deserve to like someone who can, you know... feel the same way towards you.” Kurt said nothing. Every molecule in his body felt like it was just dowsed in ice cold water. “I'm really sorry, man.” Finn bit his lip. “We're still friends though, right? I still think you're really awesome. And you're gonna find a... a great guy someday, and you're gonna be happy.” Kurt half-smiled. “I hope so, at least.” He smiled back. “You will.” He looked down at the floor and rubbed his neck. “Do you want me to leave now?” Kurt was silent for a moment, then said, “No. It's fine. Let's keep watching the movie.” “Okay. Cool.” Finn patted him on the knee and turned to face the television. Kurt bit back the screams of humiliation in his head and turned to the TV as well, feeling his heart break into a million tiny pieces.

What are you so upset about? You knew this was coming,

he thought.

Yes, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

He stared numbly at the television, his hand resting where Finn's hand had just touched him, and they watched Spider-Man together, and that was that. And that was all it was ever going to be.

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