#i love that y'all get to watch me break down in semi-real time MONTHS after this show has been out.

[tenwhiteandalusians]

olivia rodrigo get him back! dot mp3. so you’re telling me tenax ARRESTED his boyfriend while he was emotionally at his lowest for a trick they used to pull together in order to convince him to come back to him. it’s not like you could’ve just asked or anything.

and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.

[teacup-tai]

Summer Fics by Tai

I just wanted to rant a bit and reflect on the last 2 months. Well, this summer came with sadness. My 14 years long relationship came to an end, or maybe a semi-colon (I hope so). I had SO MANY emotions going on! So I stress read as always and wrote SEVEN FICS(!!!) only six posted, after months of writer's block.

I'm writing this post because I want to appreciate myself and creativity and resilience and all these nice stories that I managed to write in a very short amount of time. I'm proud of all them, they are *so diverse* and *so special* in their own ways:

Breaking wild roses (stings like love's pain) - 1.4k, E, Pansmione

I feel like a scream is stuck inside my chest, creeping up in the deep dark hollow of my throat. It’s a mix of pain and agony. So to keep it down, I open my mouth and fill it with your soft, tender flesh. The bronze skin of your shoulder right against my tongue.

I'm honestly proud of this smut with feels and I need to thank special people who helped, be prompting or betaing this story; thank you @the-starryknight, @sketchyblondes @phenomenalasterisk

The Truth Runs Wild - 3k, E, Blairon

It’s Harry’s fault and his whole ‘gay awakening’ and all the shit he had to hear Harry talk him through, in the name of friendship and supportive brotherhood. But honestly, if Zabini licking his lips can be this sensual, what could he do with a dick in his mouth? Ron flushes, because he cannot be honestly thinking about Blaise Zabini and blowjobs. Like, he’s straight, right. Right?

and it's sequel: Only Fools Fall - 5.3k, E, Blairon

Blaise planted a kiss against Ron’s temple and moved away to watch him with big black attentive eyes. “I only wanna make you feel good,” he assured him. And Ron felt himself blush, because Zabini was looking soft and warm and it was making things inside Ron’s chest turn and pull. This was getting way too real. Or: Ron wants more, then he gets pretty confused. So Tai decided to write a Blaise/Ron love story out of it.

This wouldn't have happened without the nonnie who boldly asked my opinion on Blairon, lol. And without the amazing help of this lovely alpha-beta crew: @erajakira , @olliemaye, @crazybutgood . I had such great fun writing these fics, I'm in love with this universe for real! Blairon for the win! this wouldn't be the same without the mutual hype of @thusspoketrish and @anaxandria-writes for our lovely August with Gusto: Blasie Zabini Appreciation Month!

For God is Love - 3k, M, Drarry

1 John 4:8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. Or: Tai decided to write a religious AU fic, in which draco and harry are catholic priests, bc I wanted to read it :)

Got the amazing help of @corvuscrowned and Jay, and honestly if it weren't for @tackytigerfic also enjoying this trope it wouldn't have happened. I LOVED writing such a different trope and mood than I normally write. So thank you y'all!

Space Bodies - 1.5k, M, Drarry

She tastes like a love story. Or: my dream came true and I wrote a drarry fic with trans!draco being this gorgeous woman and I can die happy now.

It made my day to write this fic for the @drarrymicrofic with the amazing help of @softlystarstruck, @atgranger and Logan.

Claraboia - microfic, Drarry

"Look what I've found," Draco says in a surprised and tender voice. Harry is still learning all the nuances of his voice and this one is new.

BIG thank you to @onbeinganangel and @the-starryknight for making me dive into the microfic realm.

I also want to thank InnerLilith for betaing a gen fic about Pansy that is not pubished yet. And all the amazing friends from the drarry squad that keep me going when life is shit, specially @sitp-recs who holds my hand when time zone allows and hypes me up.

THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS! YOU MADE SUCH A DIFFERENCE IN MY SUMMER SADNESS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

I got a new job in a new city and I'm moving out tomorrow. I dunno when I will be able to write in the forseeable future. BUT THANK YOU. This last year has been filled with up and downs. And me being back to the drarry fandom is @quicksilvermaid fault, bc of the @hd-hurtfest from last year. Without your prompt I wouldn't have written my sadass drarry fic, and stayed for the long run, and so many things in my life changed bc of that fic. I'm emotionally healthier now and I'm moving forwards, thanks Q!

Cheers folks! Sending love, tai.

[id-never-letyoudown]

A Muse List

Wilford Warfstache: reality warping semi-madman. He goes through time and just rolls with the punches. Knows at least a dozen alternate versions of the same person. Makes multiverse ships technically canon. Sometimes he forgets which timeline he's in and acts like a kid who fell asleep in the car and woke up in bed. Kinda OP, but I I'll discuss anything big with the other mun beforehand. For now it's just small stuff. -tagged: pink stache whiplash

Dark: literally watch Damien. Only this Damien had ties to the mafia, which Celine was heavily against. Also Damien and Will had a romantic relationship, highschool sweethearts, promise ring. Then Damien started running for mayor, Wil met Celine, feels were had. (ps: he's got both sets of genitalia, cuz everyone forgets.) -tagged: 3d dream

Fordwil Stachewarf: started as a joke of a bizarro!Wil and now, welp, here he is. He's a manipulative green haired asshole. A creep. He does not "roll with the punches", if one version of you likes him then he will expect all of them to, and he will take. Stuff with him can get hella triggery so I don't use him often. He's a total hardass. -tagged: green jerk

Chase: ha, an average bro. Trickshots. Memes. Bad puns and scraped knees. Anxiety ridden and depressed. Tries to drink away the pain. Also he's a werewolf and used to have hella bad anger issues, they have gotten better, but when it's that time of the month it's easy for him to slip. -tagged: sad awoo

Dr. Iplier: ;A; after losing his V-card to his highschool sweetheart who was moving away, three months later when he tries to break it off, she tells him she's pregnant. So they have a shotgun wedding. Also his family disowned him for this. He had to balance college, a job, and financially caring for his long distance, pregnant, wife. The boy was stressed, and he vented to her. Very next day she says she lost the baby. And ol' doc blamed himself. They've been married since, and whenever he brought up separating she would bring up the baby. He hired a PI who uncovered that there never was a baby to begin with, so now he's just "fuck you, fuuuuck yoooou." Now he's trying to get her to divorce him so she won't take everything. -tagged: doctor love me

Host: ah hah, favorite boi. My Host did used to be the Author, and after getting his ass handed to him, started looking for ways to really amp up his abilities. He found It(not the clown, fck off)and offered a deal "I'll give you a vessel, in exchange for power" and It misinterpreted and took HIS body instead of letting him find someone else. Over the years he's realized his mistakes and has become much more humble. Basically: Host is a host to a being not of this world or even dimension. -tagged: host2

Yan: goes from "not feeling a thing" to "feeling too much" real quick. If you see him being peppy and cheerful, it's an act so ppl don't question him. He wants to feel. So whenever he gets feelings for someone he often takes it too far. Much too far. Also he's a kitsune h e r e -tagged: bloody cute

Winston: fucking pink, pompadour, greaser demon. Him big. Tol. Stronk. Very protective of his partners, especially if they're human. Big teddybear. Loves animals and works as a mechanic. His town? Almost everyone is a demon there, they just wear glamours all the time. -tagged: big pink

Anti: fucking glitchy glitch tech demon. Acts like a computer virus. Very bitter. Up Dark's ass. He has feelios that he refuses to deal with, so he just annoys Dark and insists on being by him most of the time. He likes Dark because he's one of the few who don't take his bullshit and aren't scared of him. -tagged: virus boi

Bing: saaah dude. Super laidback unless he's alone, then he gets to work and is actually semi serious. He's got a few defects, mainly with his eyes, so he wears shades. Default safemode, the dial(yes, dial)is on the back of his neck. Ppl confuse this for volume too often. Notch one: he can cuss. Notch two: he can look up lewds. Notches from then on just increase how raunchy he can be and the frequency of his lewd statements. Very last notch: he can FUCK. also, he has a detachable dick, like, he can still feel it when it's not attached, thanks to bluetooth. Weird man. -tagged: robruh

Virgil/Anxiety: anxious bab with a sarcastic tongue and foul mouth. Total pessimist. Will not go out of his way to interact with people. Loves puns and dad jokes and Disney. Sings. Acts like a damn cat tbh. But surprise! Him a spider. Has giant spider legs coming out of his back that he hides -tagged: smokey eye

Patton/Morality: god, fckin. He's trying so hard. He wants to be the bestest friend/father figure that he can be. Sometimes he holds his own feelings in and bottles them up. -cough-surprise binch, daddy kink and puns. -tagged: pun papa

AD: h e y, I know we all have headcanons n shit, but my Dark would have tried to get their pal DA out of the mirror and into a body, after things settled, somehow. It would have taken him years, but he would have. Course it didn't go quite as planned. By then whatever remained of the DA was far too gone, turns up being stuck in a broken mirror realm can really fuck you up. And eventually turn you into a demon. AD is not the DA anymore, all they remember is that night and that night only.

Any semblance of the DA they once had is now gone. Now they're out for revenge, and when you're able to travel through reflections that can come quite easily. Ofc they look like Mark(more specifically Dark, as he was the one who both put them in and took them out of the broken mirror that was keeping them tied to the manor), only hella scarred and with white streaks all throughout their hair. Their eyes are mirrors, which is just fckin creepy. Personality wise they don't trust easy. A smartass with a sharp tongue. Brutally honest. Redeeming quality? If they see someone/something that's vulnerable they'll protecc. -tagged: spitting image

Kink(Klancy): a kinky mtherfcker. Used to be in a hella abusive relationship with someone who called beating and using him with no regard for his safety at all "bdsm". And it was Klancy's first and only romantic relationship. It wasn't until his bad, horrid excuse of a dom took them to an actual, legit bdsm club that he realized what the dom was doing was abuse. So he dumped him, and Jeremiah and his buddies helped get his stuff. Klancy decided that from now on he'd take his sex life in his own hands. He isn't currently looking for a a relationship, but I'm a shipping hoe so if y'all are up for a slow burn, hit him up -tagged: kink it up

Eric: hoooooo b o y, well, his backstory was awful before. Now it's uh, downright trigger worthy. I won't go into detail, let's just say Pops has a bad touch way of getting Eric to "calm down". He is a quiet, anxious boy. We all know his canon story. He feels guilty that he's the only one of his siblings living now. And Derek doesn't help. He's moved out and with Klancy, because I want them to be friends and you can fite me in the pit. Klancy-aside from Host-is the only one that knows what Derek's been doing since uh, Klancy being Klancy decided he'd try the dad on for size and Derek said some questionable things in the heat of the moment. Klancy has practically adopted Eric, he'll fight Derek.

Eric is a nervous wreck and easy to manipulate. Which makes him perfect for juicy, angsty threads. -tagged: yellow handkercheif

Periwinkle: a defective Google unit made with an experimental sensory system, it made him incredibly sensitive to the point of pain. So he wears clothes from head to toe, along with a helmet, Daft Punk style. He works at a nearby Google place, doing surveys with owners of Google units. He fakes being emotionless when on the clock, as he's been threatened with deactivation due to violent outbursts. -tagged: off limits

Copiplier: his name's Leslie, Officer Morgan. He prefers being called Lee. He abides by the l a w!! No exceptions. Whenever someone makes a noise complaint or some other with the office, he's the one that shows up. Mostly because none of the other officers want to deal with t h a t mountain of paperwork. His hair's on the long side, man bun long. And he buff. When I say he looks good in the uniform I mean "gets mistaken for a stripper" good. Which is fair, because for some time he was a stripper, before police academy(cough, he still is, on the weekends). Strict boi is kinda dense and ever since Yukio gave him some damn pocky he's been addicted to it. Which is great, since he used to be a smoker. -tagged: oh officer

[malpractice123]

The Chronicles of M&M... FINALE

So, it's been almost 3 years since my last post of the Chronicles of M&M. After I posted that, a lot of people messaged me with words of encouragement or questions etc. Well, here's an update because I kinda feel obligated to post it. I've read stories where the author doesn't finish them or I can't find the next part and it tears me apart trying to figure out what the hell happened, so here's what happened. Be warned, it's a long one (also, slight trigger warning for self harm and weight issues) So on November 29th, 2014, my high school had its last football game. I'm not sure what information I put in my last posts, but I know I said he was section leader of the sousaphones and I was section leader of the flutes. So, this was our last football game of our senior year, our last marching band show. I had wandered up towards the sousaphones and was talking with them during our free time, pouting about how he was off somewhere else doing God knows what (I found out later that he was looking for me). Finally, in the last couple minutes of our free time, I found him by the side of the bleachers. We huddled together for warmth and he put his arm around me (squee!). I stole some of his fries and we huddled together until free time was over. After the game we went back to the bus and cuddled up under a fleece blanket, trying to get warm. This was the day we had our first date. We went to the movies after the game and saw Big Hero 6. I spent most of the movie either cooing at the adorableness of Baymax or begging him silently to hold my hand (he didn't until we were walking out of the movie theater). Fast forward to December 10th. We have our first kiss in his pick-up truck. I still know exactly what I was wearing. We spent every moment together that we could, either just sitting in the parking lot after school or meeting up at one of our houses. We went to our band's semi-formal (it was my first dance where I had an actual date) and we went to prom together. So finally, it comes to leaving for college. We were both really torn up about this. We were scared that, even though we would only be half an hour away from each other, the distance would hurt our relationship. During this exchange we both cried in each other's arms for a very long time. Eventually I mustered up the ability to give him what I had planned to. I took my special bow ring off of my finger and gave it to him. I told him that, whenever he missed me or was having a particularly difficult time at school, that he would always have me and that no matter what, I'd be close to his heart. He put it on a chain and never took it off. He fiddled with it constantly and I don't know if he ever took it off. Over the next year I fell farther and farther in love with this man. He was my best friend in the entire world. He knew all of my secrets and knew the best ways to make me smile. Like a naive teenager, I started visualizing our future, naming children, talking about how the house was going to look and where it was going to be. He was 100% in on this plan and often helped make them. Usually his were the more fun, outrageous ideas (i.e. a wave pool in the backyard) and they always made me laugh and feel good because he was so passionate about the future and he knew exactly what he wanted out of life. I couldn't imagine my life without him. We bought bus tickets to get from place to place as neither of us had cars. We went to football games and went ice skating. I met all of his friends and he met mine. Over the summer after freshmen year, we both had jobs that worked us hard, but we managed to hang out a lot. My favorite was when we went to a drive in movie at a place close by. We packed up an air mattress, a bunch of blankets and pillows, and watched the movies while snacking on kit-kats and Reese's. We watched the Independence day fireworks together, and I couldn't have asked for a better time. I couldn't imagine my life without him. Sophomore year of college things changed. He was able to have his truck on campus so that would, supposedly make it easier for us to see each other. We were both excited and hopeful that this semester would go better for both of us. However, he was insistent on focusing on grades and school. I could accept this. Around Halloween, we started talking less and less. We grew distant and I was scared. I didn't really have all that many friends in college, and wasn't involved in much. So I felt like all I had was him. And I thought I was losing him. When I came back for Thanksgiving break, he told me we needed to talk, and he met me at my house after I had a doctor's appointment (I'd been having a lot of health problems and I didn't know what the heck it was). When he pulled up he got out and he was crying. He told me he thought we should break up. He said we didn't have anything in common anymore and he wanted somebody who went outside more (I'm addicted to Tumblr, what the hell was I supposed to do). Anyways, we broke up, but kept talking. I couldn't lose my best friend like that. I was really upset that the reason he didn't think we should date anymore was the fact that we didn't​ have anything in common anymore. So I typed up all my reasons for why I didn't think we should break up. He said he'd think about it. And a couple days later (officially the 30th of November, the day after our 2 year anniversary) he asked me to be his girlfriend again. My life was back in order. I had my best friend back. Things went back to the way they were. It was almost like nothing had happened. The second semester started and with it came hell in the form of school and workload. We became very wrapped up in work, and after February, we practically didn't see each other at all. Spring break came and went (we had different times for break, which made things really shitty) and we were back in school. His birthday was in March so I figured I'd go back on birth control and surprise him for his 20th birthday (we are both consenting adults, deep breaths). But we didn't see each other for his birthday. Every time I wanted to see him there was some reason we couldn't. Exams or projects for his dorm council etc. We stopped skyping (it had been our lifeline for the past 2 years). My grades were gradually getting better after the hell my health had put me through, and even though I felt like a piece of me was drifting away, I figured that it would get better in the summer when we could see each other without school stress and homework. Fast forward to the last day of school. He had been out of school for a week at that point and at home for a week off before he started working at the same place he did last year. My parents spring on me that my dad had accepted a job in another state (the state we are originally from) and we were moving at the end of the summer. My heart drops and I realize that moving out of state wasn't going to bring us together. If anything it would do the opposite. So I did what I usually do when I don't know what to do and I'm scared and upset. I called my best friend. I told him what was happening, and I asked if he would just try, try and keep this up and work on it. I would still be going to the same college, so we'd be close during school, but I'd be living in a different state at other times. The silence I got from that was deafening. Finally it got out that he realized he didn't love me the same anymore. That he wasn't willing to put in the effort needed for this relationship to work out. And that maybe it wasn't meant to be. At this point I clarified that this was it, that we were over, and hung up, going to throw up in the bathroom and cry the rest of my guts out. Over the next couple days we continued to talk. I knew that this time it was over for real, and no matter how much effort I poured into it that it wouldn't fix it. But I still needed my best friend. Especially now that my family was moving. I was asking him reasons why and everything. Surprisingly, when I talked to him about things I was okay, but whenever my parents came to talk to me about something or offered that we go out and shop or whatever (looking at new colleges was a very big thing at this point) I would break down and regress back into the depression and slight self-harm tendencies that I'd gone through before we had moved to the state we live in now. But talking with him made it better. I could calm down, he could say something to make it all better. Eventually I got up the courage to ask the question that had been going through my mind, if him not being in love with me the same way had anything to do with my weight. He admitted that, although he didn't want it to, my weight had been a factor. Side-notes about the weight - When we started dating in high school I was just under 140 lbs. I was happy with my body and my weight. Then college. Everybody knows what happens in college. My freshman 15 turned into a freshmen 30, then a sophomore 30. Now I weigh approximately 190 lbs. I had been working hard and have lost 10ish pounds in the past couple months because I wanted to work on it. I wasn't happy with my body and it was getting really frustrating that I didn't have clothing that fit. So I had started to work on my weight. I knew that I didn't look the same as I did in high school. And I wasn't proud of that fact. This was something that I had shared with him frequently. He encouraged me to start working on it. I found a friend and we had started to work out together. Anyways, before y'all get all uppity about how my weight shouldn't have any say in the relationship and it doesn't matter what you look like etc, if he didn't find me attractive anymore, then he shouldn't have to pretend he does, right? He was upset about this himself, saying it made him feel like somebody he didn't want to be, who valued looks more than personality. I understand where he is coming from, and this won't send me on a spiral into eating disorders and such. Currently (it being just over a week since this happened), I am okay. I've started more vigorously adhering to a diet and have plans set in place for exercise. I've been accepted into a nursing program at a satellite campus for the college I have been attending for the past 2 years. I got a 93.3% on the TEAS exam (a nursing entrance exam where the national average is a 64%) which placed me in the 99th percentile of people who have taken it. This post isn't meant to bring in pity or sympathy. I'm not trying to gain attention for what happened to me or anything. I just wanted to finish out something I started almost 3 years ago and talk out what happened because typing all this stuff felt really good. If anybody is still reading at this point, feel free to PM me any questions or anything, I'd be happy to answer them. Anybody needing advice is welcome too, though I can't promise any professional advise or anything, remember, I too am merely a Tumblr addict and you may just get a response with a picture of a cat or a Harry Potter meme… Less than three, Me :)