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lavendercharm · 9 months ago

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Linger, Chapter 5: Kiss With A Fist/Human Nature

A/N:

Ya'll. Writing this chapter felt like a marathon. But I think I'm ultimately very happy with it. Please let me know what you think!

This chapter is a bit longer, and I think it deserved to be named after two songs because of that. "Kiss With A Fist" by Florence + The Machine definitely fits the first half of this chapter and was one of the first songs I added to my playlist when writing this story, so I knew I wanted to use it for the big public confrontation.

The vibes toward the end are different. I discovered this song earlier this week and haven't been able to stop listening to it, so maybe I'm just reaching to try and justify including it lol. But "Human Nature" by Barrie is what I decided to use for the second half of this. Cause they're spitting facts when they say "Human nature doesn't always come easy" lmfao.

This is far from the end of this story, but it may be a second before you hear from me, depending on how busy the next few weeks are. I say that - watch me turn around and post something this weekend lol.

Thank you to everyone who's stuck with me thus far. I love you and I'm so grateful to know you're along for the ride.

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Summary: From the moment you meet her, you can't stand Melissa Schemmenti.

Warnings: Strong Language

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Barbara Howard did not take days off. It was only recently that she allowed herself her first mental health day, and while she could see the benefits, she had been eager to get back to her classroom, her students, her best friend, and even her coworkers. The life of a teacher was unpredictable, and the life of a teacher at Abbott Elementary came with its own unique set of challenges, but Barbara had seen a lot in her decades of teaching. With some hard work, support from her fellow teachers, and the grace of God himself, she had seen and survived it all. Barbara Howard could conquer anything thrown her way.

However, if Barbara had the magical gift of foresight, she might have chosen Monday morning to take her second mental health day in her entire history at Abbott.

As it was, Barbara could not see into the future, and so she entered the teacher’s lounge at 6:30 AM, on the dot. She claimed her usual spot, made herself a cup of coffee, and began sorting through her lesson plans for the week. She enjoyed her few moments of serenity in the lounge prior to the arrival of her more talkative coworkers. It wasn’t unusual for Melissa to arrive a bit later, especially on a Monday, so Barbara thought nothing of her absence. She politely greeted Janine and Jacob as they entered together; she did the same for Gregory shortly after. As the three younger teachers gathered at their table and discussed their weekends, Barbara continued her work, occasionally reacting to what she overheard. And when you entered the lounge, your first time visiting in the morning, Barbara was mildly surprised, but she shot you a warm smile all the same. She noticed you seemed to be a bit tense, but she chalked it up to the fact that you were still very new.

Melissa had talked her ear off about you last Monday, of course, explaining your tardiness and the shots you’d taken at her about her age. When Barb pressed her for details about your confrontation and what you’d said to each other, she simply said, “I took care of business, a’right?”

While Barbara agreed it was unprofessional of you to arrive late, she also knew Melissa better than anyone else in Abbott did; she knew Melissa could take things too far. Melissa was as passionate as they came, which meant she was one of the best teachers at the school. On the flip side, she also had a short fuse. Barbara knew she didn’t have all of the details, but she didn’t think much of it - you were a sub, after all. She expected she’d never actually meet you.

So when you arrived in the lounge for lunch the day after your explosive argument, she was shocked. While skeptical of you, she couldn’t help but admire your tenacity. You’d come face to face with the wrath of Melissa Schemmenti and still returned to Abbott. You’d introduced yourself, and as far as Barbara could tell, you were perfectly polite and well mannered. The displeasure and hostility radiating off of Melissa was felt by everyone in the lounge, but aside from giving her close friend a pointed look, Barbara chose to ignore it.

You’d continued showing up the rest of the week, greeting Barbara every day before taking a seat with Janine and Jacob, as well as Gregory, occasionally. The younger teachers seemed to have taken an instant liking to you, the four of you sharing stories from previous schools or discussing the latest movie releases. You’d even had a good-natured exchange with Ava one morning. The principal had leant against the corner with her phone and talked you through her “roster”, whatever that meant. Barbara was sure she didn’t want to know.

Barbara observed how seamlessly you integrated into Abbott’s social circles - with the obvious exception of the red head who always sat to her right in the lounge. Melissa pretended you didn't exist, which would have been fine if it wasn’t the elephant in the room. Your first day in the lounge, Janine had tried to talk to Melissa about you. She’d turned to Melissa with a huge grin on her face and said, “Man, Melissa, you’re so lucky to have such an awesome sub as your aide.”

Melissa had glanced at Janine over the rim of her cat-eye glasses, and in a sharp tone, retorted, “What sub?” That’s all it took for everyone in the room to grasp her unspoken message: If you value your life, drop it. The only reaction Barbara saw was a sharp flash of your eyes before you turned your back to the older woman and called Janine over, changing the subject.

But last Friday, Melissa caught up with Barbara after the school day ended and explained that you’d just given her two VIP tickets to the Eagles game on Sunday. If there was anything that would help Melissa forgive your transgressions, it was that. Once again, Barbara found herself impressed with you - you took the initiative to make amends and you’d knocked it out of the park. She was happy for her friend. She’d told Melissa, “Just think of how much you’ll be able to accomplish now that you and that young woman can work together. Now, you and Gary go enjoy that ball game.”

A week after your first morning at Abbott, all of the water was seemingly under the bridge, and the staff room could breathe easy again. No one paid much mind to the anxiety radiating off of you. For the most part, the energy in the room was calming as the day began.

The sudden CRACK of the door slamming into the shelves violently ripped the room’s occupants out of their morning zen. It was enough to cause everyone to nearly jump out of their skin. Heads whipped in the direction of the doorway as Melissa’s furious form charged into the lounge. Her attention was initially on Barb, but as she opened her mouth to speak, her eyes locked on you. The blush of fury rose instantly in her cheeks. She ripped her bag off of her shoulder and tossed it in the direction of her regular table, nearly hitting Barbara in the process, and as her eyes narrowed, you could practically see the steam rolling off of her as she hissed out, “You.”

And that’s when Barbara knew any chance of a peaceful morning had gone out the window.

—----------------------

As your weekend began, it didn’t take long for it to sink in that you were well and truly fucked. You completely failed to consider the consequences of your little scheme. There’s no way in hell Melissa wouldn’t be out for blood at the start of the next school week. The smartest thing to do would be to never return to Abbott, move to a new city across the country, and change your legal name. You went back and forth between chastising yourself for being ridiculous, and being so ridden with anxiety that you couldn’t eat. You felt so stupid - what did you think would happen?

Ultimately, you reached a point where you couldn’t handle the crushing weight of what you’d done alone, so you’d spilled to Ava. Her response had been about the least reassuring thing she could have said.

You did WHAT? I didn’t know you were crazy like that! You’re gonna die girl. I’m not even joking. We gotta go out this weekend, cause it’s your last one alive. I’ll make sure you have fun tho. Do you own any latex?

After refusing Ava’s offers to make your last days on earth worthwhile, you spent most of the weekend drowning in anxiety and imagining how Melissa would bring about your demise. You decided you had to do your best to prepare. You literally couldn’t afford to not go back to Abbott, especially after getting your headlights repaired Saturday afternoon. Under the anxiety, you could feel the ember of your rage, still pulsing with a red-hot glow, so you decided to grasp ahold of it. What you’d done was shitty, sure. But compared to smashing headlights? All you’d done was get even.

Seeing as you couldn’t afford to uproot your whole life and leave Philadelphia, the next most logical thing to do was to never be caught alone in a room with Melissa ever again. You were pretty sure this was something you could pull off - you figured you had two weeks left at Abbott tops, and as long as you had kids or other teachers in the same room, you would have witnesses who could recount your violent death should Melissa murder you.

This is what caused you to arrive at Abbott on Monday morning a full hour and a half before you needed to be there. You’d dithered in your car for about fifteen minutes, debating driving away and then talking yourself out of it. Eventually, you braved the outdoors, darting into the building and down the hallways as quickly as you could. You practically sprinted past Melissa’s classroom door - the lights were out, but even though you logically knew she wasn’t in yet, your mind conjured a vivid image of her jumping out of the shadows like a monster in waiting. You slowed down and tried to control your breathing as you entered the teacher’s lounge, and you were immediately soothed to see how many people were already there. Even better, Melissa was absent.

As you passed Barbara, you gave her a hesitant smile. You actually liked Barbara, as much as you can like someone who’s polite and whom you don’t know very well. You figured it may be the last chance you get - surely the woman would turn against you once Melissa told her what you’d done. Janine, Jacob, and Gregory were all sitting at your usual table, and after preparing your morning coffee, you quickly situated yourself in a seat, thankfully facing the door to the lounge.

“Hey!” Janine said, shooting you her adorable, slightly gapped-toothed smile. “How was your weekend?”

“Oh, uh… it was fine,” you said, your eyes darting toward the door as it opened. Not Melissa . “Mostly caught up on chores… had to get some work done to my car, fun stuff like that.”

“Car problems are tough,” Gregory said, spooning a bite out of his bowl of plain oatmeal. “What was wrong with it?”

“Uh…” you hesitated, unsure if you wanted to share what was really wrong. It would inevitably lead to questions and the last thing you wanted was for everyone to know the details of your feud. It was one thing for everyone to know Melissa didn’t like you - there were very few people Melissa actually liked in general. But it was another entirely for them to know she’d smashed out your headlights. Something generic - a bad alternator, maybe - would suffice.

You didn’t even get the chance to lie.

Despite the fact that you could see the doorway, the resounding SMACK of the door slamming open still made you jump. Before your brain knew what it was processing, in stormed Melissa Schemmenti, thick heels clacking on the linoleum tiles. She wore a form fitting pink sweater, the neckline questionably appropriate, and skin tight black pants. Her saint necklaces shimmered from their home on her collarbones. You supposed she wanted to look hot when she killed you.

It only took a moment for her eyes to lock on you, and in that moment you knew things were about to get ugly. To your surprise, seeing the flustered state she was in created a feeling of immense satisfaction. She was furious because your plan had worked. You didn’t even fight the smile that began to find its way onto your lips. The anxiety wasn’t gone, but you relished in the triumphant feeling of landing a critical hit.

“ You,” she hisses, tossing her bag from her shoulder. The tension in the air was thick enough to be cut with a knife.

Your eyebrows shoot up, feigned ignorance in your voice as you point at yourself and respond, “Who, me?”

She starts toward you, and everyone else at your table scatters. You’re shocked to see Janine step in front of you, her hands up placatingly. “Melissa-”

“Shut it, pipsqueak, and get out of my way ,” she growls, her gaze over Janine’s head burning holes in you.

“Hey!” You spit out, anger spiking and crowding out your anxiety. You’re suddenly standing. “Don’t call her that!”

Janine turns to you, holding a hand in your direction now too. “It’s fine, she calls me that all the time-”

“It’s not fine!” You shout, fists balled. Your eyes are glued to Melissa’s. “You think you can say and do whatever you want because no one will stand up to you. Well, I’m not going to put up with it!”

“Oh my god, please stop this. I will never psychologically recover from seeing your dead body,” Jacob pleads, wedged between the corner of the room and the fridge for cover.

“Can’t believe I was dumb enough to trust ya,” Melissa growls. “And after all that bullshit about ‘olive branches' and bein’ cordial.”

You smirk. “Oh, right! How was the game?”

Melissa starts forward again and Janine has to physically hold her back. She’s shockingly effective in spite of her small stature.

“Ya know I didn’t get into the game! Gary and I went all the way to the stadium, but you gave me fake tickets! We wasted our whole afternoon and got harassed by security!” she shouts.

“So what are you gonna do about it? Beat me up? Call the cops on me?” you challenge.

A deeply offended look crosses Melissa’s face as her jaw drops. “Are you callin’ me a snitch?” she snarls. She surges against Janine one more time, who manages to keep her back again. “That’s low, even for you!” Melissa says nastily over Janine’s shoulder.

“Oh, that’s low?” You ask incredulously. “Low like smashing someone’s headlights out?” There’s an audible gasp from Jacob in the corner, and you feel the heat of everyone’s gaze turn from you to Melissa, the whole room enthralled by your verbal tennis match.

Melissa glances around her before pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Ya can’t prove that was me!” You thought someone would have to have been born yesterday to believe that; anyone who worked at Abbott knew that’s exactly something Melissa would do.

“Oh yeah, because everyone else here keeps a bat taped under their desk like a neurotic asshole!” you proclaim, throwing your hands up in the air.

“I’ll show you ya stronza- ” Melissa hisses, pushing past Janine and beginning to reach for you. Your arms come up to instinctively protect your face, but before she can reach you, a figure closer to your height blocks your vision.

“THAT IS ENOUGH!” Barbara Howard bellows. The whole room comes to a standstill, frozen in time. Even Melissa has been stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide in shock as Barbara looks accusingly between the two of you. You feel immediately ashamed. “Are you both not grown adults? I cannot believe the absolute foolishness I’ve just witnessed!” She rounds on Melissa. “Especially from you!”

“Barb, she-” Melissa starts.

“I don’t care if she insulted your cooking to your face, you do not behave like catty teenagers! We are professional, grown people! Acting like this in front of your peers? Disgraceful! ”

She rounds on you, her eyes narrowing. “And you. To think that I was beginning to think highly of you. You went to all that trouble to make fake football tickets, just to get back at Melissa? Have you ever heard the phrase ‘An eye for an eye’ ?”

The pit of shame in your stomach is sickening as you slowly lower your arms, your eyes unable to meet Barbara’s. Feeling like a petulant child, you couldn’t help but mutter, “She started it.”

“And now I’m ending it!” Barbara yells. You feel her grip the sleeve of your sweater and pull. You stumble after, seeing her grasp Melissa as well. “You are both coming with me!” The rest of the lounge doesn’t move a muscle as Barbara Howard physically drags you into the hallway.

She marches with both of you in tow, Melissa sending you the nastiest glares she can muster from the other side of her friend. Stopping in front of a classroom full of bright colors and tiny chairs, Barbara turns to both of you. “This has gotten completely out of hand! You are both going to sit in my room and we are going to work through this. I don’t care if it takes all day - you will NOT be allowed out until you can act like civilized adults!” She folds her arms and gestures her head forward. You stare back for a moment, thinking she must be joking, but the woman doesn’t budge. After a moment longer, you enter the classroom. You’re followed closely by Melissa, who stalks to the other end of the room.

Barbara closes her door and pulls down the window blind. She turns to you both, her eyes closed and her shoulders rising in deep, even breaths. Eventually, she opens her eyes, and commands, “Take a seat.”

You glance around and only see chairs for children. You begin to protest, but the look on Barbara’s face prompts you to simply grab the nearest chair and plant yourself in it. Your knees are comically close to your chest and you don’t know where to put your hands. You settle on resting them on top of your knees. Melissa is pacing back and forth, muttering to herself - you guess she gets to ignore Barbara’s request.

“Now,” Barbara begins. “We are going to talk out your problems so we can put this whole mess behind us. Your students deserve you at your best, and you cannot be your best when you’re at each other’s throats!” She’s stern, chastising, and you feel ridiculous. “Where did all of this animosity start? Why are you angry with Melissa?”

You can’t help but scoff because the answer should be obvious. Barbara presses her lips together in annoyance and you quickly reply, “Well, where do I begin? Aside from smashing my headlights out, she’s done nothing but disrespect me since I stepped foot in her room. She was insulting me before she even learned my name!”

“I never learned your name,” she pipes up spitefully, and you whip your head around to glare at her.

“Memory not as good as it used to be?” you retort. A muscle in her jaw jumps out as she clenches her jaw, her face coloring once more.

Before she has a chance to rip into you again, Barbara cuts you both off with a stern, “Knock it off!” She looks exasperatedly between the two of you before pinching the bridge of her nose. “The Lord is testing me today,” she whispers to herself, shaking her head. She turns her attention to the fiery woman across the room. “Melissa?”

Melissa comes to a stop, planting herself and leaning her weight onto one hip. She rolls her eyes, gesticulating wildly as she speaks. “If we’re goin’ back to the start, then first things first, she strolled into my class thirty minutes late. Didn’t even have the decency to apologize.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to!” you protest. “I hadn't even stepped into the room before you were criticizing me. It’s not like I did it on purpose, it was a complete and total accident. And then you started insulting how young and inexperienced I look.”

“I was just givin’ you a hard time, that’s all,” she says indignantly. “How was I suppose ta know you can’t take a joke?”

Your head whips toward her. “And smashing my headlights? Was that a joke?” you retort incredulously.

Her eyes narrow and her tone is venomous as she hisses, “Nah, that was for throwin’ away my school supplies, stealin’ lunches, and callin’ me a bitch.”

You hear Barbara’s sharp inhale and jump to defend yourself. “Those supplies were all broken or unusable! You have so much on your hands with two classes and I was just trying to help you. Also, Janine gave me that lasagna because I forgot my lunch, I didn’t steal anything. You wouldn’t give me a chance to explain myself before jumping down my throat. Not to mention calling me degrading names in Italian!”

Barbara raises an eyebrow and gives Melissa a knowing glance. “Melissa uses gabbortz quite often, it’s nothing to get offended over,” she says, an attempt to reassure you.

Melissa’s eyes dart to Barbara’s as she huffs, “Uh, it’s gabbadost , Barb. And I mighta used somethin’ more… vulgar.” To your disbelief, the red head practically looks sheepish at this admission. Her arms cross in front of her as she shifts her weight, and your eyes are drawn to how the motion causes her cleavage to swell ever so slightly. Feeling heat flood your cheeks, you dart your eyes all over the room, attempting to find something else to fix them on. Luckily, neither woman seems to notice. Barbara’s eyebrows are furrowed in an inquisitive way that suggests she’s waiting for the shorter woman to elaborate. Melissa lets out a puff of air. “I mighta used the ‘P’ word, a’right?”

Barbara’s eyes widen as her mouth drops open in a gasp. “The ‘P’ word? Melissa Schemmenti, you don’t mean-”

“Yeah, yeah, the one I save exclusively for Kristin Marie. That ‘P’ word.” You don’t know who Kristin Marie is, but Barbara looks positively scandalized.

Tearing her eyes away from Melissa, Barbara stands and turns away from both of you, hands on her hips and head shaking in disapproval. As she takes her turn pacing across the room, the disappointed silence from the older woman allows the weight of the last week to settle on you, and you find yourself suddenly exhausted. You lean forward, your head in your hands and the shame rising inside of you like a tidal wave. How did you get here?

“Well, I think you both have been sufficiently horrible to each other,” Barbara says, turning toward you. “Now explain how this has all made you feel.”

You and Melissa groan in unison. “Come on, Barb,” Melissa starts, but Barbara holds up a single admonishing finger to silence her. The Italian woman becomes subdued immediately, and you notice how different Melissa’s reaction is to being silenced by Barbara.

“How has this made you feel?” the older woman presses, her tone of voice a warning to comply. Melissa leans against the wall, refusing to budge. You all sit in tense silence for what feels like an eternity, and you wish the floor would swallow you up. She was using the same tactics on you that you might use on two fighting eight year olds.

Eventually, you can’t handle the tension any longer and you burst out, “I feel totally disrespected!” You look to Barbara and she gestures for you to continue. “I uh… I feel belittled, and like you don’t take me seriously, but I think the worst part is I never got the chance to prove to you that I belong here… you wrote me off before you even met me. I’ve worked hard, and I love what I do, so to have you disregard me right off the bat, just because I made a mistake and I look young… it felt pretty shitty,” you admit, the confession coming out of you in one long rush.

“Especially because… I was excited to work with you,” you add quietly. You’re suddenly enamored with the floor, unable to bring yourself to look either woman in the eye. You feel exposed and vulnerable, and you’re majorly uncomfortable with it.

You’re forced to endure your feelings of discomfort for a few more torturous minutes. Suddenly, your eyes widen in shock as a husky voice meets your ears, and it takes a moment for your brain to process the words.

“I guess I feel a lot of the same,” Melissa admits. You raise your gaze to meet hers, and she’s staring at you intently, the earnestness reflected in her jewel-green eyes making your heart skip a beat. “Felt like you didn’t really care when you were late. Some a’ these kids? They got plenty of adults outside of these walls that don’t really care. That’s the last thing they need here. And then ya walked in and you look so young… I couldn't resist teasin' ya. But then you got me back and I got defensive, and I shouldnt’a.” She shifts her weight, casting her eyes to the floor. “I bought all those supplies with my own money,” she admits. “So seein’ you throwin’ em away, it really rubbed me the wrong way. But… you were right. I was tryin’ to stretch em when there was no more room to stretch. And then seein’ my lasagna on your desk… I know I can be a real hot head, and I took it out on ya and it wasn’t fair.”

As you look at Melissa, her red hair shining under the fluorescents and her evident unease at her own candor, there’s a swelling feeling in your chest and a warmth slowly spreading in your limbs. “Melissa,” you say, and her head snaps up to meet you. You search her eyes, waiting for her to snap at you for using her first name. She doesn’t. She simply waits, holding your gaze, and you can’t quite read what’s behind her eyes, but you suspect it’s something far softer than she’s shown you before.

You allow yourself to swim in those emerald pools for just a second longer before you admit, tenderly, “I’m sorry.” You see her shoulders drop ever so slightly, tension releasing as she allows your words to sink in. “I’m sorry for what I’ve said about your age. I’m sorry for throwing your things away without asking. And I’m really sorry about the Eagles tickets. That definitely wasn’t my finest moment.” You say the last bit with a touch of humor. You pause for a moment, before adding, “I’m not going to apologize for the lasagna, though. Janine insisted on giving it to me, and it was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever tasted.”

You see her eyes widen, her brows raising in surprise. A genuine satisfied smile graces her lips, and you can’t help but momentarily wish things had been different over the last week so you could have seen more of those. That smile made her entire demeanor change.

“Well,” she says, eyes flashing with her own humor. She shoots you a sly grin, and you return a small smile of your own. “If I’m bein’ real with ya, I’m impressed. Fake tickets? Pretty diabolical,” she continues, admiration in her voice. Her smile fades, though, and she brings her hand up, pressing a knuckle to her lips briefly in thought. She sighs, murmuring, “I’m sorry too. I shoulda given you a chance before jumpin’ to conclusions. And, uh… I’ll pay for ya to get your headlights fixed.” She mutters that last part, and you notice that she didn’t apologize for smashing them - but you know it’s as close as she’ll come, because you’re not sure she entirely regrets it. You’ll take what you can get.

“Thank you,” you murmur, and once again you suddenly can’t look at her anymore. Luckily, Barbara draws your focus to her as she clears her throat. You both look toward the older teacher as she stares down at you, a smug, triumphant smile dancing across her full lips.

“Now, was that so hard?” She asks, her voice teasing both of you. For the first time in days, you feel like you can breathe fully again. Melissa rolls her eyes, pulling herself away from the wall, but you detect a hint of relief radiating off of the woman as well.

“Don’t expect us to hold hands or nothin’ Barb,” she says as she heads for the door. When she reaches it, she pauses and turns to you. She considers you for a moment, and you begin to feel warm underneath her gaze. Finally, she says, “Well, ya comin’? We got lessons to plan for the day. How do ya feel about teaching Science?” Her tone is gruff, commanding, no nonsense. The carefully curated tough exterior of Melissa Schemmenti is back in place. But you’ve seen the slightest glimpse of the human being underneath.

“Right behind you,” you reply, and a tentative grin breaks out across your face as you stand and begin to follow the short woman. You pause briefly though, a thought entering your mind, and you turn to Barabra. Your hands grasp each other behind your back as you rock forward onto the balls of your feet, and you convey your gratitude by giving the older woman the warmest smile you can muster and uttering, “Thank you, Barbara.”

She returns your smile, her own radiant and warm, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve been blessed a bit. “My pleasure, dear. Go on, I’ll see you at lunch.” You nod in agreement, and turn on your heel, following after your lead teacher. You’re not friends - seeing as your time is limited at Abbott, you don’t imagine you ever will be. But you feel lighter, and there’s a newfound respect for the short woman. And for the first time since you stepped foot inside Abbott Elementary, you feel excited for the day before you.

-------

A/N:

Yes, I'm sorry, Gary will be briefly mentioned/perhaps even making small appearances. Stay strong lol. Controversial opinion but I don't hate Gary. Did I think he was good enough for Melissa? HELL NO. Do I think he should have respected her wishes and listened to her when she explained her boundaries? HELL YES. But ultimately he was just a big dumb guy who was infatuated with Melissa Schemmenti, and to that, I relate. Still, I wasn't mad about that split.

Fun fact - if you've watched season 3 episode 4 already, I wrote the Ava roster line before that episode aired. I died laughing when the kids were talking to Gregory about his roster. We don't need to talk about the firefighter exchange... denial is my favorite state.

#melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #Spotify

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macravishedbymactavish · 1 year ago

Note

any hcs for ajax (cod: ghosts)

I initially was going to do the "3 pros, 3 cons" thing. But I haven't seen very much content for Ajax, so here's a whole list of random SFW HCs for him.

Alex "Ajax" Johnson SFW Headcanons

| Blog HQ | Call of Duty: Ghosts Masterlist |

TW for some mentions of overthinking, arachnophobia, vague mentions to the latest Stranger Things season finale

Comes off as calm, cool confident but in all honestly overthinks damn near everything

"He's a natural, almost too natural" Hesh commented, arms crossed over his chest. Watching as the man continued light conversation with the barista making their drinks.

The brothers standing off to the side, watching as their friend managed to get them free banana bread slices with his smooth talking. Smiling politely and thanking the barista for their time.

With excited expressions, the younger men began asking for tips and tricks. Still in awe of how cool he was during the interaction.

Eyebrows raising in surprise, Ajax nodded along. Listening to the praise being fed to him. Forcing down the thoughts that he came off too strong and made the poor worker uncomfortable.

'They have enough people to deal with, and probably a lot of creeps but have to be nice to everyone. They had to be trying to usher him out of there and dropped some hints asking me to stop. Like that awkward half laugh, oh I overdid it. Shit'

"Playing it by ear is key, boys" Ajax laughed, taking a bite of his food. Hoping that it was given in good spirits and not a desperate attempt to make him leave.

Major acrophobia. "Ya'll are killing the spider"

A shrill scream caused you to jump, rushing into the other room. Grabbing a broom on the way as a mock-up weapon.

Eyes scanning the room, your brows furrowing in confusion as there was no obvious danger. Just Ajax in the corner, pressing himself against the wall as he lightly chuckled at you.

"Hey, how've you been" he asked smoothly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. Eyes cast down to one specific spot on the floor. You followed his gaze, focusing on a small black spot.

It couldn't be.

"Was, was all that because of a spider?" You initially laughed, jumping back as the bug moved toward you. "Shit. Elias!" You called, broom dropped and teammate abandoned.

Binge watcher. Him and Keegan watched an entire season of Stranger Things in one night once.

"Are….are you crying, dude?" Ajax snorted, receiving a glare in return. The two men finishing off the latest season of Stranger Things.

"No. I'm just enjoying the heartfelt reunion and cliffhanger. Are you crying?" Keegan muttered, shifting further into his spot. Eyes trained on the screen, as his friend continued staring over at him, eyes lit up with amusement.

Guilty pleasure that he won't let anyone know (minus Logan, who accidentally found out and they bonded) but loves rom coms.

[ 1:33AM ]

[ SAN DIEGO ]

Laying in the dark, eating handfuls of chips slowly as he silently urged the two characters to finally admit their feelings for one another. Sighing heavily at the obvious attraction they were both oblivious to.

"They really should've made a season 2" Ajax all but jumped out of his seat at the quiet voice from behind him. Scrambling for the remote to shut off the TV, keeping his guilty pleasure mostly hidden.

Shrugging at the younger male, "Logan, why are you awake?"

"I'm not judging. I love Oran High School Host Club, put it back on" Logan urged, slipping down onto the other side of the couch. Settling back into the cushions.

Arguably the best passenger princess of all the Ghosts.

A carefully curated playlist filtering through the speakers, your group drove out to the lake lot the Walker family owned for the weekend.

"Alex, what do you got for snacks up there?" You asked, peering up from your phone. Situated in the backseat with Keegan and Kick.

"Would you prefer sour, sweet or salty?" He started, sifting through one of the many insulated bags at his feet.

A Nintendo Switch kind of guy. Especially the Zelda games. He's been playing them since childhood, and still has the gold cartridge Legend of Zelda NES game.

Rocking lightly on his feet, he eagerly waited in line. Game in hand, impatient to start playing it the moment he got home.

"Is this everything for you sir?" The cashier asked, noticing the 8 bit design on the man's wallet. Commenting on how they thought it was interesting.

"It is, thank you. Can't wait to play, I've been pretty into Zelda since I was a kid" Ajax smiled, focusing on the machine in front of him as the two fell into conversation about modern gaming vs retro gaming.

Retro gaming came out on top overall.

If you're dating, he gives the sweetest gifts. More into DIY than store-bought.

A jar was placed in front of you, inside contained multiple colours of folded up paper. Eyebrow raised, you opened the lid and pulled a light blue star out.

Heart melting as you unfolded the paper; seeing a small note about when the two of you first met. Jar and note placed to the side, you launched yourself onto the man. Feeling him chuckle as he held you close; whispering about how much he loved you, and felt so blessed that he could call you his.

Does the "huh?" then promptly answers thing.

"Hey, Alex. What time is that movie you wanted to go to tonight?" You called from the bathroom, to your fiancé laying on the bed.

"Huh?" He started, phone dropped on the bed beside him. Right as you were about to repeat the question - "it's at 6:45, so I figure if we get there by 6:20, 6:30 we should have enough time to buy snacks and find our seats"

BLANKET HOG

Blinking awake, you sighed. Body shivering as you became aware of the cold air settling around you. Hand feeling around for the blanket, you grew increasingly confused as your search came back unsuccessful.

Rolling over, you groaned. Seeing your boyfriend cocooned in the shared quilt, sleeping rather soundly.

Pulling at the material, you pouted. He had it wrapped taught to his body, leaving your tired limbs very little chance at unraveling it. Another tired sigh escaped your lips as you pushed yourself from the mattress, grabbing your own blanket from the closet.

#call of duty ghosts #cod ghosts #alex “ajax” johnson #cod ajax #call of duty ajax #ajax headcanons #alex “ajax” johnson headcanons #cod headcanons #cod ghosts headcanons #call of duty headcanons #call of duty ghosts headcanons

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jestershark · 9 months ago

Text

if you say "i like everything except country and hip-hop"

there was a post going around a while ago which had people justifying why they don't listen to black music and rap and it pissed me off so i made a baby's first rap playlist.

some personalized recommendations below the cut

Being An Ally (tm) means complaining about racism and also Pushing The People You Are In Community With To Do Better. so I've compiled a list of excuses I've heard people make and some songs to counteract those excuses.

so i went through the post and then some reddit/quora responses for "why don't you like black artists" and "why don't you like rap"-- the general answer for lots of these is "you have uninterrogated racism and bias and you aren't working on fixing that"

so while i don't think a lot of these excuses are like, good excuses, I'm going to go down a list of excuses and recommend some starter songs

i think a lot of White Kids have this response of "i like everything except rap and country", but black musicians make every kind of music! rap itself has a ton of variation-- it's not just mumble rap and gangsta rap, there's tons of artists with different voices, different styles, and different results. (honestly a lot of you would like backpack rap and nerd rap. i see you)

here's my list

"I like music with good lyrics"

try out doechii

youtube

By the time you hear this I'll have taken on another form The way I been snappin ya'll gon end up my children of the corn I think I've adapted to all of the cannibal savages I feel a Possession in this session I need a catholic to Assess it Come and bless it Then undress it

mf DOOM is a favourite for a fucking reason:

youtube

There's four sides to every story If these walls could talk, they'd probably still ignore me Contemplate war over a cup of warm coffee It's really getting gory, tell your problem to Maury

Don't bore V with the "Glory, hallelu-ey" Crews be like, foo-ey he's just a buncha hoo-ey I knew he had new G, who he? Viktor Vaughn He had a new sicker song, I think he call it "Lickupon"

like 90% of hiphop is just incredible lyricism and puns. what's not to like.

"rappers just write about drugs and violence"

writing about violence well is art! this song is art:

youtube

this song talks about violence, does that make it bad? unrelatable? why does it do that?

youtube

also if you like music that has INSANE lyrical flexibility, please listen to this:

youtube

"i only like music if i can somehow tie it to my ocs"

everything is going wrong in my oc's life and they're barely keeping it together:

youtube

"i like strings and traditional instruments"

this baseline + godzilla sampling is so good-- listen to how they pass the verses back and forth!

youtube

this whole album is a master class in good sampling and i really recommend it!

youtube

"i like kpop"

here's a rap song with miku in it

youtube

"i like gay music only"

there are SO MANY gay rappers and hip hop artists, so many. do you deny the internet? this song by ilovemakonnen is extremely Gay Love. here's a song about being a huge lesbian.

here's a huge playlist: find SOMETHING. here's a bunch more.

"Most all rappers sound the same", "the beats nearly all the same", "Not a whole lot of melodic value to rap" , "Most modern rap is crap with no actual musicianship or storytelling", "Because rap is hedonistic, narcissistic, misogynistic and worst of all violent."

ok go through and listen to what I've linked above. do those all sound the same to you? think about why. think about what you like about other music, and what it might be about this music in particular that you don't like.

if you listen to a song by tupac, or snoop dog, or any other 90s rapper, their music is the cornerstone of all of modern music. including country. including kpop. including stuff that's far away from any other music. without hiphop and rap you don't have like. half the other genres that currently exist, and the other half have no reason to evolve or change.

"I just don't like their vocal timber"

you're racist. find jesus.

A final word:

listen to critics who say this stuff better than i can-- and i guarantee these are fun youtube videos to watch by creators who Are Good At Their Jobs

the rap critic

fd signifier

foreign man in a foreign land

khadija mbowe

princess weekes

bonus some of you should watch this video and this video

#not staying in my lane #i understand i'm extremely White Girl Who Likes Rap Music. but like.#it's really good #Youtube

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kesouu · 3 years ago

Note

hello hello! can i request baji, mikey, and chifuyu and headcanons about how they'd pamper you in their own ways?like how they'll spoil, they'll take care of you, ect. pure fluff please, i cant take ur angst

Hey anon! Im genuinely sorry for the angst....jk im keeping the angst coming <333

Credits to my friend @miss-lovesick for helping me with mikey and a part of baji bc my mind went as blank as my future for them (partially)

How Baji, Mikey and Chifuyu pamper their s/o

Baji Keisuke

•Baji helps you with chores whether it would be washing the dishes or cleaning the table he helps out (just not cooking tho please dont make him cook)

•Baji likes carrying you whether bridal style, on his back or shoulders or generally picking you up he does it so randomly too

•Baji would wash your hair for you when you two take a bath together

•Baji would gladly agree to be your personal heater in the winter season

•Whenever baji would buy peyoung soba he would always get packs of your favorite candy too because he loves how happy you are when you eat them

• Baji lets you braid his hair he would let you put all sorts of hairclips on his hair

• he lets you know his secret hair routine this is why ya'lls hair is so soft and silky

• you two have random times where your favorite song plays and you two start singing screaming the lyrics and you two just continue until either you get a noise complaint from the neighbors or both of you loose your voice

• ya'll would buy those temporary hair dyes that come out after a few days and dye your hair in the most random colors because you two just can

Sano Manjiro

• I generally thought that mikey would give snack privileges to you only

• like man not even draken can eat his doriyaki but you can tho <3

• Mikey helps you with your night routine if your too sleepy to

• Mikey applies your face cream on you for fun when ur doing your skincare routine

• Mikey would and WILL put a little smiley face on your cheek using moisturizer

• Mikey always gives your cheek a lil squeeze before applying the cream

• he's even tying your hair in a ponytail/bun to get the hairs out of your face

• he gently pushes the baby hairs on your hair line away so he can apply the cream and so that it doesnt get in the hair

• there's always a kiss on the tip of ur nose when it comes to mikey

• Mikey showers your face with kisses

• Mikey always makes sure to walk you home and makes sure your inside your house before going home himself

• buys you mountains of snacks when your sad

• when you feel sleepy on the walk home from a date or school he would give you a piggy back ride back to your house

• would gladly spend twice as much on food than he did when he didnt have you

Matsuno Chifuyu

• When chifuyu takes you out to eat he always insists on paying for you two

• Chifuyu gives you so many hugs but back hugs are his favorite bc he can rest his head on your shoulder and let you do what you need to do

• Always holds your hand when you two are outside so you can feel safe

• Walks on the side near the road when walking with you on a sidewalk

• Half of the time your dates are inspired by stuff he reads in his mangas

• Chifuyu would give you a massage if he sees you relatively tired that day

• Chifuyu would save up money he gets from his part time job at the pet shop to buy you that one thing you've been eyeing for such a long time

• He cooks for you like if he gets up earlier than you you can smell him cooking breakfast

• Chifuyu kisses you awake on days where you two dont have anything planned

• Often shares his head sets with you and you two listen to your favorite playlist

• Dances with you at random times like you could be laying on the couch with music playing in the background and that one specific song plays and he pulls you up so you two could dance to that song

About blog

Masterlist

#tokyo revengers #tokyorev x reader #tokyo rev fluff #tokyorev headcanons #chifuyu fluff #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu headcanons #tokyorev chifuyu #chifuyu matsuno #baji x reader #baji hcs #baji fluff #baji headcanons #baji keisuke #mikey fluff #sano manjiro #mikey x reader #manjiro tokyo revengers

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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 2,122 times in 2021

1543 posts created (73%)

579 posts reblogged (27%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.4 posts.

I added 2,671 tags in 2021

#b:asks - 986 posts

#anon asks - 298 posts

#bts fluff - 221 posts

#bts - 214 posts

#the pact:asks - 195 posts

#htss:asks - 193 posts

#bts x reader - 166 posts

#bts fanfic - 154 posts

#b:rants - 150 posts

#l&f asks - 94 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#the fact that you must have literally gone back and found this chapter just to post this gif with it is hiliarous

My Top Posts in 2021

How to Sell Sunshine - M.list

"I've always wanted to be the villain."

→ Pairing: OT7 BTS x reader (not poly), mafia!BTS x mafia!reader

→ warnings/tags: SFW, e2l, mafia!au so some violence (but more like alludes to it), threats, humor, pining, heists and criminal activity, Hoseok is a hITMAN so ya'll already know this is gonna be a good time

→ a/n: I don't have a schedule for this atm, although I have a general outline that should help get the chapters out hopefully weekly! as always, please let me know what you think! I'm excited to share this with you guys and thank you for your love and support! enjoy!

See the full post

478 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 21:51:53 GMT

Falling, falling

“I have loathed you since I first laid eyes on you.”

“Likewise.”

Pairing: Slytherin!Tae x. Gryffindor!reader

Words: 13.9k (don’t @ me I didn’t intend for this to happen)

Genre: Hogwarts!BTS, e2l

Warnings/rating: SFW, pining, Tae is a lovable brat™, reader is a mess, lots of pining, tension lol, kinda veiled threats but nothing violent I swear

A/N: This is an installment in the BTS meets Hogwarts collaboration with @homeofbangtan! It’s been so fun working with these lovely writers, and I hope you guys enjoy this one shot as well as the rest of the installments! As always, pls let me know if this was decent. Love you all! banner made by the talented @ttaetae

See the full post

512 notes • Posted 2021-07-20 08:50:08 GMT

The Pact - masterlist

Premise: You learned a few days ago that the boys have pact that doesn’t allow them to make a move on you. What happens when they find out that you know?

Warnings: none as far as I know! lol except for this reader. she has no idea what she just got herself into

Pairing: OT7 BTS x reader (not poly tho)

Completed

Did you know that this could classify as a small book? The Pact totals: 134 pages.

Spooked (important, the oneshot that started it all. read this first.)

Well, this is awkward...

Date #1 ✨✨

Date #2 🌉🌉

Date #3 📖📖

Date #4 ✈️✈️

Date #5 🥡🥡

Date #6 ☔☔

the pact 📃📃

Date #7 🌟🌟

I loved her first 💔💔

Shocker 💌💌

Epilogue 🌙🌙

The Pact: An Inside Look

The Pact | Halloween Special |

playlist ( made by @fanfictionreader05 )

599 notes • Posted 2021-02-28 02:39:16 GMT

If I Could Lie

“I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

→ Pairing: idol!JK x reader (ex staff)

→ word count: 4k (why do I keep making these long??)

→ warnings/tags: exes au, SFW, angst, fluff, pining (lol I guess I have a thing for pining?)

→ a/n: 2nd summer request! requested by anon; a photo of your request will be at the bottom. I am uploading this one before the Jin one because it shares the same prompt as my last update & I wanted to keep a variety going. I hope you enjoy!

Jungkook’s eyes take in your every move - your every breath - from the second you step into the room. He doesn’t try to hide it, despite the fact that just about everyone is aware of his sudden infatuation. You give him an exasperated smile that hopefully communicates what you’re trying to say.

Which is, last I checked, we’re supposed to ignore each other’s existence, Jungkook.

Not that you actually say that. No, you attempt to actually uphold your side of the unspoken bargain by ignoring the man across the crowded room.

You haven’t seen him in...what? Two years? Two and a half? All you can really remember is a door slamming in your face and a flustered staff member directing you toward the exit.

You’d nearly made it to the exit before Jungkook burst out of the hallway, desperate and sprinting toward you as though you were his life’s work slipping through his fingertips.

“I’m leaving,” you had muttered as Jungkook barreled into you that afternoon, panting and brushing his hair out of his face.

“What?” He sounded incredulous. “No...no, you’re not. Listen, I’ll sort it out right now, and-”

“Jungkook.” The way you said his name had him closing his mouth in an instant. He was always such a good listener. “I’m...I’m leaving. I- I have to go.”

He let you leave, although the way he held onto your hands until you quite literally slipped through his fingertips left you with a shattered heart.

You’d been together for only three weeks before it all came crashing down. Why did it hurt so much after so short a time? The fact that Jungkook - Jeon Jungkook - had come forward and confessed to you was the icing on the cake. As far as you knew, life was better and brighter than ever before.

But you were young; you both were. Too young, Sejin had gently told you only a week into your secretive relationship with the singer. Jungkook was too young and on the verge of major success along with the rest of the members; a relationship was the last thing he needed.

A scandal, he’d called it. Because that’s what it would look like. Jeon Jungkook fell for one of the staff members, how was it possible? The world would rip the two of you to shreds, and Sejin kindly reminded you of how quick Jungkook was to blame himself for any sort of mistake.

For one week, you lived in bliss.

For the following two, you lived a lie. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell Jungkook the truth. That you were leaving, that you’d submitted your two-week notice. It was for the best.

The feeling of someone staring has the hair on the back of your neck rising, and as you turn to glare at the perpetrator, you jump to see Jungkook right behind you. Drink in hand and mussing his hair with the other, he looks at you for a split second before looking down at his feet.

“Hey.”

The word goes straight through you as you attempt to look nonchalant and lean against the counter.

“Hey!” Ok, that was way too peppy. “I, uh...how are you?”

“Good, good.” Jungkook clears his throat almost comically before peeking back up at you. “How are you?”

“Great. Doing...great.”

Well, this sucks.

Jungkook appears inclined to agree, but he treks on like a champ. “Yugyeom told me he invited you. Didn’t expect you to show up, though.” He gives a breathy chuckle, a wry smile appearing on his face for a moment before slipping away.

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612 notes • Posted 2021-06-11 04:18:00 GMT

Can’t Keep My Hands To Myself

pairing/genre: Taehyung x reader, idol!reader x idol!taehyung

premise: When you lock eyes with your soulmate, you’re immediately teleported to them. So, technically it’s not your fault that you ended up in Kim Taehyung’s lap for all to see.

word count: 1.3k

[1/2]

requested by @marianeamine - thanks for the fun request! a picture of your request will be at the bottom of the post! (also, can we just enjoy Yoongi’s tiny clapping in the background of this gif? lol)

The lights are nearly blinding as you move across the stage, basking in the fan-chants you can hear around the giant venue. You don’t claim to be anything like EXO or BTS...but still, you would be lying if you didn’t get some sort of satisfaction at the considerable amount of fans that made it to MAMA this year.

You watch as one of your group members takes the center as you’d practiced, the other two of you flanking her and pushing hard through the final notes of the song.

Your little trio, while new to the competitive world of K-pop, had an amazingly successful year. When you were invited to perform not one but two of your hit songs on stage at one of the most prestigious award shows of the year, you were floored.

Now, locking eyes with your other bandmate as all three of you hit the final note - which is nothing short of a miracle, considering how hard you’re breathing right now - you can’t help but smile.

What a year it’s been.

Together, the three of you sink to the floor, keeping those smiles on your faces until lights fade and the cameras go elsewhere. You were instructed to remain sitting on this portion of the stage for about a minute after the performance, due to the hosts coming out on the opposite end of the room and needing to rearrange this corner. It was deemed too dangerous for you all to get down just yet, but you don’t mind.

Now that you don’t have those blinding lights focused on you, you can actually see out into the crowd. Your heart swells as you spot all of your fans with signs and lightsticks, a few of them still trying to see your group through the darkness. It’s tempting to wave at them, but you refrain, not wanting to draw attention away from the hosts.

“Dude,” Jiwoo scoots closer to you, Ari leaning over as well to hear what she’s whispering, “Is it just me, or did Yeonjun just get like...1000 times hotter?”

You refrain from laughing, instead craning your neck to get a look. “Where’s TXT?”

Jiwoo gives you subtle directions, not daring to point at him for fear of some fancams picking up on her newfound obsession. That would be a PR disaster.

“They’re kind of hard to see from this angle,” Ari explains, having already found them. “They’re sitting right behind BTS though.”

Well, you know where BTS is sitting. Everyone, whether they like it or not, is automatically tuned in to where the biggest band in the world is sitting.

You look over at them, eyes jumping over them to see TXT behind them. You grin. “Yeah, they all look really good.”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo huffs. “But Yeonjun looks sooo good, right?”

Squinting your eyes in an effort to get a better look, you’re a little shocked when certain BTS members sense your stare.

You watch with utter embarrassment as Jimin chuckles at your group, nudging Taehyung and mumbling something to him.

“Er...guys...” you begin, praying that Taehyung won’t look this way. How embarrassing, they probably think that you’re gawking at them not TXT.

You don’t get to finish your sentence as you see Taehyung glancing up, saying something to Jimin as he locks eyes with you.

The darkness from your corner of the stage suddenly becomes absolute, wind whistling in your ears as you gasp for air. The strange sensation doesn’t last long, and soon you’re slamming into something solid and warm.

Peeking one eye open, you’re met with fluffy dark hair, and arms that wrap around your waist to keep you from slipping off.

Before you’re even able to understand what’s happening, you hear it. People whispering, a few even crying out in distress. Did something bad happen?

Straightening up, you let out a little squeak at you find yourself staring straight into the cocoa-dipped eyes of Kim Taehyung. His lips have parted, making it seem like he was gasping just a moment ago. One of his earrings glints in the light, casting him in a diamond-like glow.

Overall, he doesn’t seem to be faring much better than you, but as you go to move away because you’re on the man’s lap, he instinctively tightens his grip.

“Let her go, Tae,” Namjoon grounds out from the other end of the seats, and it seems like only then does Taehyung begin to hear the obvious uproar and excitement from fans and idols. He gives you an apologetic smile, loosening his grip.

See the full post

746 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 21:52:43 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I didn't realize that I get so many asks sksksk #I'm so spoiled #also I need to be better at reblogging #:((#here we go 2022!!

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uberff · 6 years ago

Text

Chapter 24

Eric

 "Mornin'," I mumbled to Deja as I walked into the shop with all of my equipment in my Nike duffle bag.

"Good morning. Issa fresh pot of coffee in the lounge if you need it." she said sweetly and I nodded, going about my business after mumbling a quick 'thank you' with a forced smile.

I wasn't in the mood to crack jokes or sip dirt, I just wanted to take care of my clients for today and head the fuck home.

After the week I've had, offing myself seemed to be the only solution out of it. But, I knew that would make for more problems concerning my loved ones.

I laid out all of my equipment neatly across my desk and mumbled along to Jaded while tryna get this day started. I had all my hair growing out, my weight going up and down, I ain't have the desire to eat no more, and shit just stopped making sense.

I checked out all the boxes on Robyn's checklist, I was the perfect nigga for her. She glowed up through me, man. I wasn't tryna force her into anything, our relationship was so organic, I felt like I was walking on glass to fuckin' please her while she kept breaking mirrors in the meantime, playing hard to get for no fuckin' reason. I mean, I know you been hurt the last three times but I wanted to be her testimony, I wanted to be that E Harmony commercial for her, I wanted to be set apart from those niggas but instead, she placed me right in the box, adjacent to all them fuck niggas.

"Hey, Toby just called and asked to reschedule ya'lls session. Tomorrow night cool?" Deja poked her head into my office and I nodded.

Sighing heavily, I tossed my tattoo gun back on my desk and sunk into my chair. The only shot I had at clearing my mind of this fuck shit was put on hold. I loved what I did, especially when I was going through something, making others feel joy that I could never obtain is what it was all about for me. This girl really got my head fucked up.

After Dej hung up with my client, she came back in and hopped on my chair, across from me and started examining my face. I turned away from her before she could notice anything and dug into my bag for my bottle of Henny. "Ricky." she spun me around and sighed, taking the bottle out of my hands.

"Please talk to me, if it's about what I said the other night-" I put my finger to her lips and mushed her face back. "You 'bout close as shit, ain't you?" I chuckled lowly and she gave me a smile filled with hope.

My happiness was always top on her list. I loved the shit out her gay ass, bro. Forever and always, ever since tenth grade. "Nah, yo carpet munchin' ass ain't got shit to do with this."

"Bitch," she slapped my hand away with a small laugh, and got serious shortly after.

"I'm worried about you, E."

"Don't worry about me, Deja. I'll bounce back."

"Not if you keep tryna handle this by yourself." I twisted my curls with one hand and laid back and let her words sink in.

"I ain't got nobody else. I know I always got you, D. But, reporting shit to you over and over get old."

"I'm willing to listen. You're self-destructing by the week. Each time I see you, it's worse. Talk."

"You know the situation with shawty."

"I do. I also know that you've never been going through such a drought over a girl. That's usually my role."

"How you and Shellz?" I asked and she sucked her teeth. "Fuck how me and her are doing. I don't care about that right now. All I know is that if I lose you, bro-"

"You not gon' lose me, Deja. You and my fam always gon' run through my mind before I think about doing some selfish shit." I kicked her softly when she got to getting teary eyed.

"You hear me?" I asked, still looking up at the ceiling. If I look at D when she crying, I was bound to start crying with her ugly ass. "Yeah," she sniffled and wiped her eyes gently so she wouldn't mess up her beat. "back to you and Robyn."

"Yeah, I loved her, still got love for her. I thought we had something real. I ain't classify her like a basic ass Memphis hoe. I'm hurtin' hard." I said truthfully. It finally felt like someone was removing the bricks from off my chest, one by one.

“I did all this shit just for her to gon' and get pregnant by a nigga she told me ain't built for love, ain't sensitive enough towards her." I wiped my eyes and shook my head.

"I'm sorry, E. Come here." she pulled me up and reeled me into her arms just as I finally let my tears fall. "The one time I let my guard down and try this love shit again, man. She gotta fuckin' baby on the way." I sobbed loudly and hugged Deja back.

"She tellin' me all this bullshit about her exes, for what? Making me wait for what? Defending her fuckin' honor for what? Bitch had me lookin' crazy, thinking I was about to start a family with her. I'm happy as all fuck, screaming out my car window on interstates, spreading fake ass news to strangers, thinking of baby names. Nigga, for what!?"

Deja consoled me calmly and wiped my tears which was all cool but, Robyn still fuckin' played me. Played the shit outta me and had me convinced that I was gon' be the nigga to heal her from all the wrong her exes did. I guided her in that direction of her self-worth and she started feelin' herself, treating me like I wasn't the one in corner from the minute her pretty ass walked into my shop. Two days fresh off the plane from NYC.

"Not like it's being brought up or anything, but you know that I'm always gunna be loyal to family, right? Not saying that my friendship with shawty is done because that's sis, but, I'll always be here for you. Whenever." I nodded.

"Now stop all this fuckin' crying before your chocolate ass melt in here, Tyrese." She said and I laughed so fuckin' loud, bro. I was so relieved to have a real one on speed-dial.

"It's still fuckin' with me though, cuz. We grown as fuck, how she still making these baby ass mistakes?"

"You see the way she looks at dude?" Dej asked and I shrugged.

"She loves the fuck outta that rollercoaster of a nigga. Sometimes when you go through hell with someone, you always gon' be curious to know if you ever gon' make it out that bitch with the same person. I'll personally let Shelby's ass burn but this ain't about me. Ya'll just wasn't the ones for one another and you gotta accept that,"

"I'ma try, dawg. This shit is still so fresh."

Robyn

After hearing a slight noise coming from downstairs, that turned out to be nothing, I've been trying to fall back into my deep slumber but I just couldn't. My baby and I were wide awake, frustrated, and hungry as fuck. I trotted downstairs and turned all of the lights on and went to search for something to eat but, my only options were; ice, mayonnaise, and wheat bread. I groaned aloud and hopped on the counter.

Every place that delivered was closed and I wasn't about to cook at four in the damn morning. I shot a few text messages to Deja, Winter, and Odell and finally gave up on their bum asses when ten minutes went by without replies. I'ma remember this shit when they need me to sew some shit up for them.

I blew air out of my cheeks and went teary-eyed, scrolling through my contacts for some hope. As if I wasn't emotional enough, this pregnancy turned out to make me more of a crybaby than I used to be. Jaylen's new nickname for me was Bubbles, shawty from the Powerpuff Girls.

It fucked me up because I couldn't even fight about it, she was my favorite one. I smiled as I thought about all the hell I put him through, he was still my best friend. The fact that I was about to co-parent with his extra ass always put a smile on my face. We're gunna be bomb ass parents.

I finally shrugged and just decided to call him, I always try to give him his space and not call him first and since he lives about a half hour away, but he always comes to my rescue, even if I do call him last.

"Robyn, the world better be on fuckin' fire, my baby better had climbed out ya walls, or you dead, my nigga. What. the. fuck. could you possibly want at four-thirty in the bitch ass morning?" He groaned in his sleepy voice. I involuntary blushed at the sound of his voice and played with the ends of my hair nervously.

"I'm hungry as fuck, Lenny." he sighed loudly and shuffled around.

"Go cook some shit, Rob, a nigga in here sleep. I just got in the crib like two hours ago."

"I haven't went shopping. I'm barely here."

"Pull up. I got some shit you could cook."

"I'm scared. You know I don't drive at night. Pleaseeee?" He got silent for a second until I heard his light snores in my ear. I sucked my teeth and yelled his name.

"You always have been long-winded as shit. Yo boring ass put me right back to sleep."

"Jay!" I whined and he cursed lowly under his breath.

"You at least have an idea of where you wanna go?"

"No." I mumbled sheepishly. "You choose."

"I AIN'T THE ONE THAT'S FUCKIN' HUNGRY!" He half-yelled and I started to apologize to him through sobs. "Aight, I accept ya apology man. Damn, this pregnancy makin' you act so fuckin' lightskin. I'm coming."

"Thank you." I smiled and wiped my wet face. "Your brat ass already knew I was gon' end up cavin' anyway."

"No." I mumbled while shaking my head yes. Not even on some manipulative shit, Jaylen has been giving me whatever it is that my heart desired. It was all mostly food. "Whatever liar. Gimme twenty minutes. Stay up!"

"Okay." he hung up and I smiled, hopping off the counter and going to lay on the couch while watching Dexter's Laboratory.

*****

I finally decided on Waffle House and took it to-go. It was too cold in there. Jaylen and I just sat in his car and ate with my playlist playing from his Bluetooth.

"Thank you." I grinned while adding sugar to my grits, looking over at him batting my eyelashes. He rolled his eyes and looked at my stomach. "Anything for ya'll, man." I laughed loudly and he smirked at how obnoxious and random it was.

"Why you laughing like that, nigga?"

"Remember the night I only wanted the milk from the Fruity Pebbles and I made you eat-" the more I told the story, the harder I began to laugh.

"Hell yeah, I remember that fuck shit. I can't wait till this shit over and you have my next three babies, I ain't gotta do shit else."

"Bye. No more babies for me." I shook my head and ate my breakfast. I could feel his eyes on me as the car went silent, and I tried my hardest to ignore it. His stares were so intense. Eye contact was a big thing for him; during conversations, sex, even arguments. That's what made me fall for him in the first place, his beautiful ass eyes.

"Is it good?" he finally said and I nodded while snapping my fingers to the throwback Monica song playing. "Want some?" I asked and he nodded. I opened another plastic fork and handed it to him.

We ate together and cracked some more jokes until dawn, I forgot how stressed I've been this week and he was wide awake now as we drove through Memphis, singing along to our favorite songs. His ass never told anyone but he was actually an amazing singer.

I stared at him with so much love in my eyes and he looked over for a split second and started rubbing my stomach. "You good?"

"Yeah. I just-, I'm-"

"Man, I love yo ass more, Rob. Issa big ass elephant in the room everytime we together. Sometimes I be up at night, thinking about you and how much I fuckin' love you. I'm cool right now without the relationship. At least I got you as my Ace. Still my homie, my ride or die."

"Same. You don't miss it though?"

"We toxic. Of course I miss yo kisses and yo fuck game but I ain't with all the extra stress and pressure of tryna be the perfect man right now. I just wanna be the perfect father and yo perfect support system. I don't wanna break your heart again."

I nodded. "I finally know what it feels like to be on the other side of that." I sighed.

"Whatchu mean?"

"Eric."

"Shit, I would've been threw myself off the Hernando Bridge if I was THAT nigga." he smirked. "Nigga lost the best bond ever. Issa W for me, he gotta gon' and transfer that L from Meek Mill's checking." We laughed loudly.

"Stop, I'm going to Hell for laughing." I mumbled, holding my stomach.

"For real. I couldn't imagine being around you everyday, thinking I'm about to start a family with you, only to have it all be a fuckin' pipe dream. Trust me, shit ain't easy tryna live without you. Dreams with you in them don't make reality no easier. Had my hoe ass crying with my pillow, listening to One Wish on full blast every night."

"I'm not the shit like that." I flipped my hair playfully and smiled.

"You is. We all got growing up to do as young adults, but when that glo up hit you and you out here handling shit like a boss. Can't no bitch touch you. Ain't nobody touching you now, I won't let them."

"I love you, Jay Bear." I pecked his cheek repeatedly until he turned his head and snuck a kiss from my lips. I gasped and hit him softly.

"You actin' like you ain't never kiss me before. Like you ain't never taste yaself off these lips. Calm down."

I blushed and sunk into my seat, finishing off my food. "We done, Dora the fuckin' Explorer? Can I go to sleep now? It's almost seven." he yawned and I yawned after him.

“Yeah."

"You sleepin' over, I'm not driving all the way back to East Cutty Bum Fuck right now." I smirked and nodded as he started to drive back to his place.

I fell asleep on his king-sized bed with his big ass dog, Zeus at my feet and he fell asleep on the futon right across from the bed just in case anything happened. Time was healing us and I was content with where I stood with him, a place that I thought I'd never see us standing in. Ya'll know I used to hate his mean ass at the beginning of our journey.

I scratched my head as I looked at all of the mess in this house from unpacking. Jaylen wasn’t here right now, so I decided to do him a favor and clean because I didn’t mind.

Making sure that all the boxes were empty before I threw them out, I came across a couple of pictures of the both of us. Pictures that I didn’t even remember taking. The fact that he still has them made me smile wide. Jaylen still cares.

I pulled my phone out, taking a picture of them and sending them to Jaylen.

what you doing with these 🧐 3:37 pm

why you in my shit nigga 3:38 pm

I was cleaning 3:39 pm

you da best 4 that 🏼 just don’t hurt yourself mama & you know how we rockin even when we not rockin. feel me? 3:41 pm

I laughed to myself, tossing my phone on the couch. I wanted to ask him where he was, but I decided to keep cleaning. Jaylen unpacked everything and moved all the new furniture in, but nothing was organized.

To set the mood, I lit up a few candles and turned on some music so time could go by faster.

It was getting mighty toasty in here so I put my hair up in a bun and went to go change in a comfortable maxi dress. Now I was ready to clean.

Between singing along to Whitney’s untouchable vocals, cleaning and organizing every room in this house, I definitely worked up a sweat. When I was done, I smiled at my hard work and grabbed a water bottle before sitting down on the couch and turning on Power. Jaylen was gonna be mad that I started watching it without him, but I’ve been dying to watch it.

“Robby!” I heard Jayla’s voice come from behind me. I turned around to see her running up to the couch. Jayla was just the sweetest little bundle of joy.

“Hey pretty girl! I missed you! What you been up to?” I smiled at her as I sat her down on my lap.

“I made you a bracelet! Look!” She pulled out a beaded bracelet from her pocket with my favorite colors on it. The fact that she remembered was really special to me.

“Jayla girl.. This is cayuuuuuuute! I love it, thank you! I’m never taking it off.”

“Pinky promise?” I laughed, wrapping my pinky around hers as she nodded.

“Man Jayla love the fuck outta you, she ain’t ever made me no bracelet. I’m lowkey jealous.”

“I adore her so much. Your dad ha-“ I stood up and turned around only to be looking at Jaylen and his father. I froze, because I never thought I’d be meeting his dad. Especially now. Jaylen wasn’t his father’s twin but they had similar features. His dad was really handsome though.

“Hi, Mr. Waters-“ I started to say as I held my hand out for him to shake. He paid my hand no mind, pulling me into a warm hug instead. God, his hugs reminded me of my dad’s hugs so much that I had to pull away immediately.

“Call me Jayceon, we family now.” He smiled at me genuinely.

“Nice to meet you Jayceon. I’m Robyn.”

“Oh yea I know, Jayla and this nigga right here don’t ever stop talking about you. This dude always in my ear telling me about how much you mean to h-“

“Aight, that’s enough talking for you old man.” I chuckled to myself, blushing. I was gonna have to pull his dad to the side later on and get him to spill some more tea.

“I gotchu later on Ms. Robyn. Just let me know.” He said referring to the tea he was just spilling. I laughed and nodded as I made my way into the kitchen to prepare some food since more people were here. I heard Boo’d Up playing from my phone and I had to start singing it. This was Jaylen’s song.

“Feeeeeeling! All ova my bodaaaaay!” I sang out loud as I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I would move them, but I was too into this damn song.

“You know how I like itttttt, ain’t gotta tell you what to do.” Jaylen sang in my ear as he rocked us from side to side. I had to snap out of it and stop singing, because it was getting hot in here.

While I stopped, I turned around only to have Jaylen still singing to me. I looked away, because I didn’t wanna smile. My eyes landed on Jayla who was standing there recording us on Jaylen’s phone.

“Cuties!” She ran away with Jaylen’s phone. My mouth formed in the shape of an O.

“How does Jayla know how to record?”

“My nigga 8, she ain’t 8 months.” I put my hand up pretending to back hand him, and he flinched making me laugh. Dude had a smart ass mouth. I bet his mouth got him in hella trouble at school.

“You lucky you pregnant, I’ll tackle yo ass.” I waved him off.

“How many times you got in trouble at school for that mouth of yours?”

“Boy, ion’ even know.”

“Damn shame.”

“My mama told me to speak the fuck up and never hold my tongue for a muhfucka and I’m glad she did. I got a voice, so ima use it.” He had a point, but he didn’t use his voice for the right reasons sometimes.

“Yea and she’s right, but you’re disrespectful with it sometimes.”

“Damn nigga, is you my therapist? I checked outta the center months ago.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“See!”

“I’m deadass. Tryna tell a nigga bout himself and shit. You just like my mama Robyn, I swear to God.” He snaked his arm around my shoulder.

“Is that good or bad?”

“Shit is different. You care for me like my mama did no matter how much shit I put you through.”

“Cause I love your stupid self.” I shrugged as he smiled.

“Y’all might as well kiss already, damn. I’m tryna watch Good Times but y’all over here acting out a scene from The Notebook.” I heard Jaylen’s dad voice causing me to jump. He made it extremely awkward for the both of us.

“Ima go shower.”

“I’m right behind you, cause this nigga mad nosey.” I laughed as his father flared at him while we both made our way to his bedroom.

“Bubba, Jassy’s calling you!” I heard Jayla say as I walked into the master bedroom that was Jaylen’s. I went straight to the bathroom because I didn’t want to hear their conversation. I guess that plan wasn’t so smart, because I could still hear her yelling from the phone all the way in here.

“Why you buggin’ like this?”

“Son, you’re out here on social media boo’d up with your fucking ex!” My eyebrows twisted up in confusion.

“Wait what? What you talking bout?”

“It’s all on ya snap dude!” I cursed to myself, because that’s probably what Jayla was recording.

“Jas, it’s not even like that.” I sighed, cutting on the shower water. This shit was already stressing me out.

I honestly didn’t even know she was his girlfriend now. I felt really bad. I guess this was gonna have to stop. Only time we need to talk is if it has something to do with our baby.

Just as I started to strip, Jaylen walked in and started looking in the pull cabinet. “Hey, could you take me home when I get out?” He turned around with a look of confusion on his face.

“Why? You bored or sumn’? I thought we wa-“

“We’re obviously getting too comfortable, and I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend. You bought this house to raise the baby in, not for us to flirt and play around in.”

“Ion’ got no girlfriend, that’s m-“

“Ok, but you’re serious with her right?” He got quiet.

“Aight, I gotchu.” He said, clenching his jaw before grabbing his bottle of pills and walking out of the bathroom. I swear, every time I felt like our relationship was moving forward and getting healthier, shit would always go wrong.

Jaylen

“Bout gotdamn time.” I sighed, putting my back up against the wall. Man we done spent the whole damn week putting all of the furniture in my new crib. I was serious about getting this house here in Memphis. Shit was nice as hell.

If I ain’t have a life out back home, I’d definitely move out here. I couldn’t wait to watch our child grow up in this home.

“This shit dope. You might as well move out the condo and stay here bro.” Odell stated, as I took in his words. I felt that, and I actually wanted to, but I would lose hella money. Almost all of my clients are in New York... but I guess if they really fuck with me, I would just have to have my work shipped. I’d have to do some big ass promoting out here though. Ion know shit bout Memphis, but the country ass rappers. They hard though.

“I’m thinking about it.. I love the city though. That’s my home.”

“I feel you, but this a big change for you. You got a new beautiful ass home in a different state, baby on the way, and who knows.. God might have bigger and better opportunities for you out here.” This nigga had a good ass point. I couldn’t argue with that shit.

“Fuck you brah.” I laughed, as he shrugged with a smirk.

“What about you, Mr.Knowitall?”

“What about me?”

“Ankle healed, you been training, season coming up, you got Winter back.. where the ring and the baby at?” He sighed, making me laugh.

“Man, you make it sound so easy. I been tryna propose to her bald headed ass but there’s never time. I can’t remember the last time we actually sat and enjoyed each other’s presence. And you already know the answer to the baby part.”

“Tell her to sit her on the go ass down some where then.” This hoe Winter was always doing some shit and always on the scene whenever she wasn’t at work.

“I do-“

“Nigga, everybody knows you don’t. You probably try, and don’t take this the wrong way but sometimes you let Winter run over you bro. You need to tell her ass wassup.” He stayed quiet, stroking his beard while nodding.

“Hit her up.. right now.”

“She bus-“ I gave him a look and he waved me off, pulling his phone out his pocket.

I watched him click on her name and put her on speaker. It rang for quite some time, and he was about to hang up until we finally heard her voice. “What is it O? I told you not to call me during this time at work. You never li-“ We both started to tune her nagging out while I gave him to look. He nodded and started to speak.

“Nah, YOU never listen. Winter I been trying to spend time with you for the longest but you never wanna hear me out and you always blowing me off for shit. Ion’ give a fuck what you got going on when you get off work. All I know is you better be at my crib at 10 AM when I get back to NY in the morning. No if’s and’s or but’s. You hearing me?” I jumped up from the couch, dapping my nigga cause he finally grew his balls back. I taught my nigga well, man.

“But O-“

“What I say?” He asked, sternly as she sighed and stayed silent for a few seconds. Had that ass shook.

“Ok, I’ll be there..” I pressed the button to hang up as O stood up to his feet popping his collar. This nigga.

“My boy.” I smirked as we did our handshake.

“Aight nigga, now go do the same shit with Rob.” My smirk immediately fell, and I pointed to the door.

“I know you fucking lied.”

“I’m deadass.”

“Ion know what you muhfuckas don’t understand about the word TOXIC. Y’all want us to kill each other? I love that girl to death, I ain’t tryna hurt her again. She look mad happy without me. She making big moves, doing big things with out me and I’m happy for her. I wanna see her happy not constantly crying over me again.”

As much as I love the fuck outta Robyn, hurting her hurt me. Ion wanna jump back into another relationship when I already know I ain’t gone do right by her. We stay at each other necks and I’m just not ready for the stress and headaches again. Plus she pregnant with my child? Man hell nah, we do not need the stress. Robyn been fucking glowing, and I’d like to keep it that way.

“I know you hurt her before, everybody make mistakes. But everybody sees the way y’all look at each other. If you love her so much like you say you do, what the fuck is so hard about keeping her happy?”

I scratched my head.

“I ain’t shit and we both know I ain’t.” I shrugged.

“Talking to you is like talking to a wall, bruh.” He shook his head as he grabbed his things so that he could go to the airport. I ain’t feel like driving at all. I guess I go to Jas’ hotel and chill there for a few. I couldn’t wait to get in her shit.

Send me the addy and room # 7:56 PM

“So I got some shit I gotta break down to you.” She stopped eating her ice cream cone, and folded her arms. Sighing, she sat down next to me.

“If it’s bad news, I’m really not trying to hear it. I just got fired from my job over some dumb shit, so I’m really not in the mood for bad news.” She explained, as I started thinking while stroking my goatee. It wasn’t really bad news on my end.

“Just let me tell you. Ion’ want you to have to find some shit out on your own and then you gone be mad at me saying I never told you.” She sat quiet.

“Aight, so.. you know when I told you I could possibly be a father?” She had this uneasy look on her face.

“Yea..” she mumbled, looking down at the floor. I gently grabbed her chin, and made her look at me.

“Well I am.” The eye contact we once had was gone, and she started to look at the floor again, not saying a word.

“Jaylen, I migh-..” She sighed putting her face in her palms. Just as I was about to ask her to keep going, my phone rang. I didn’t answer it, because I wanted to hear what she had to say.

“What you was saying?” I tossed my phone to the side of me. She just shook her head and stood up.

“Never mind, I’ll be in the bathroom.” I sighed, picking my phone up to see who it was that wanted me. It was just Winter, but she was gone have to wait. I wanted to know what Jas was gone say.

I got up, going towards the direction of the bathroom only to see her leaning over the sink. “You good?”

“Could you bring me my sketch pad off of the table?” Jasmine asked as she gave me an uncomfortable look. She kept saying how her body was in pain.

Leaving the bathroom, I jogged in the living room of her suite and looked on the table for her sketch pad. She had a shit load of books on the table, so I was knocking a bunch of shit over. Almost everything ended up on the floor, so I had to look for it even harder now. I ain’t sign up for this shit.

Sighing, I kept looking around for her fuck ass sketch pad until my eyes stopped at a certain group of words.

Terminated Pregnancy Report

I realized that the papers were sticking out of a Manila folder, and the more I looked through them, the more my anger started to build up. Not Jasmine..

“Hey Jaylen, never mind I fo-“ she stopped in her tracks once she seen what was in my hands.

I closed my eyes and prayed. I prayed hoping that God would forgive me for what I was about to do to this girl. I prayed for him to give me some sort of knowledge to help me understand why the fuck this bitch would go behind my back and do some sick shit like this. She didn’t even tell me she was pregnant.

I plopped down on the floor, chuckling bitterly. “What the fuck is this, Jasmine?” She knew she fucked up, because she couldn’t say a damn thing.

“Man talk!” I yelled at her, getting up from my spot on the floor.

“What do you want me to say?!” She inched closer to me as she started to get teary-eyed.

“Man fuck them phony ass tears! Tell me why the fuck you would go behind my back and do some grimy shit like this! My nigga you killed not only one, but both of my fucking babies! You ain’t even let me know you was pregnant Jas, why the fuck would you do that?! Did you think about how I would feel?”

By now, tears were falling down from my face because I was fucking hurt. Twins might’ve been tough to handle right now, but I helped make them so it was only right that I help take care of them. My mama ain’t raise me to be a deadbeat. Ion even come off like that, so I’m still tryna process why Jas would do that shit.

“I-I.. I’m not ready for kids right now, Jaylen. You even said it yourself that you weren’t either.”

“So that give you the right to go and do that shit behind my fucking back?! You ain’t even tell me you was pregnant to begin with! We both was bein’ irresponsible having unprotected sex, so we was just gone have to deal with it!”

“I��m sorry, I didn-“

“Fucking murderer.” I looked at her with so much fucking disgusts. She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to grab me, but I backed away from her, looking around for my keys.

“Where are you going?”

“Delete my number, and don’t ever come by my fucking house no more.” I stormed out, slamming her room door behind me. I could hear her screaming my name as I walked off and got onto the elevator but I wasn’t trying to hear that shit.

I was done with that bitch.

Before I flew out here to sign papers for the house and move in, I was spending damn near every day with her, meaning we was fucking damn near every day. Sometimes I’d be so horny that it wouldn’t even cross my mind to use a condom. I was on and off with them bitches. That’s where I fucked up.

She started throwing up at the most random times, and I didn’t pay no mind to it, because her ass got sick real easy. I started to put two and two together and realized she could possibly be pregnant. I asked her, and she told me no so I left it at that. I thought I could trust her, but I guess not.

How could you have it in your heart to kill an innocent child like that? That shit was foul as hell, and I couldn’t even think straight. My vision was getting blurry as hell, so I hope that I could get home as safe as possible.

I tried to take my mind off of this shit and just face the music. Right on time, Drake’s lyrics hit the fuck outta me.

No one to guide me, I'm all alone

No one to cry on

I need shelter from the rain, to ease the pain

Of changing from boy to a man

As I came to a stop light, I had an incoming call from Robyn. I didn’t wanna answer at all, but something could probably be wrong with her.

“W-what you need?” I sniffled as I rubbed my eyes.

“Hey do you wan- oh my God, are you crying?” She asked, concerned. I swear I just wanted to spill every last drop of this fucking tea to Robyn, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I just wanted to go home, smoke a wood, and go to sleep and not wake up, real shit.

“What you need, Robyn? The baby good?” I sighed taking the phone off of my face, forgetting this was a damn FaceTime call.

“Yea um, I just.. wanted to know if you wanted me to come bring you a plate because I cooked your fav...” She smiled innocently, as I shook my head no.

“To be real witchu’, ion’ even got an appetite right now. Ima fuck witchu’ later though.” I hung up before she could even respond.

After Robyn called, it’s like my phone started blowing the fuck up so I just powered my shit off. It took me bout 10 more minutes to reach my crib, and I couldn’t be more relieved to be home. I did some illegal shit to get here in just 10 minutes, but fuck it. Jail is the least of my worries right now.

Going straight to my bedroom, I decided not to smoke because I was way too tired anyways and my bed and pillows were calling my damn name. Swear my head ain’t even touched the pillow for 5 seconds, and I was already asleep. I ain’t ever been so fucking tired and drained in my life.

A few minutes into my deep slumber, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I opened my eyes, only to be met with Robyn sitting down next to me in my bed.

“Man I love you so fucking much, Robyn.” I mumbled, intertwined my fingers with hers, kissing her stomach.

“I love you too Lenny, I’m always here if you need me or wanna talk.” Was all I heard her say before she kissed my forehead, and I fell right back asleep.

#chrisbrown #chris brown #breezy #teambreezy #odell beckham jr #obj #cbfanfic #yodit yemane

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