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leafy-wings · 4 years ago

Note

Hey. Wanna talk about your ocs?

yes 🥺

i always want to talk abt my ocs so if you see anyone specific and want me to talk about them more. i am always here

ive conveniently marked which characters are for roleplays because i have my fingers in so many pies. some of these were used for multiple rps like aglais and petrichor. heres short summaries of all of them under the cut bc its long

- AGLAIS is being used for that skywing roleplay im never in Oops! I got lost. but i love algais a lot! theyre a silk/skywing who was raised underground with out wind so their wings are all fucked up! they have light flamesilk, and are obsessed with resolving conflict and making sure everyones happy. a sunny type character yknow.

- BRISK was a character for sundown-falls on dA, idk if its active or not! im not there at least, ever. ive never used her!! idk her personality really, i liked imagining her as manic and cheerful

- BUCKTHORN and skipping a few characters HAWTHORN [and seer/sear] were for an arc 3 rewrite i had planned but probably scrapped because uhh things hard. its an au where clearsight has more leafwing partners than silkwing so there are thornwings instead of hivewings. itd be focusing more on the societal implications of a silkwing oppressive society, ft the headcanon that the hivewing mind control was a nightwing power. hawthorn has it too, previously shes very faithful to her society up until shes almost murdered for trying to investigate a case of silkwing puppetry and assassination. ah!! it follows her adventures within the underbelly of pantala, and then the second book wouldve been about buckthorn, who was always anxious, because he has a lil bit of mindreading, and he has firey palms. he goes to pyrrhia to try and ask for help, and turns into a suicide bomber. its very half baked i just wanted to make dragons

- REDACTED for DRIFT SPOILERS

- HARLEQUIN is just jewels dad. hes fucked up bro!!

- HARUSPEX was for moonborn!! i never really got into him, i love his concept, but i dont like rp where characters know each other before starting. the conceit of moonborn is three of a handful of dragons were going to fly up to the moons and no one knows what happens to them then, so hes terrified of socializing or getting close to anyone because of that. hes like.. protective and helpful but isolated. quiet.

- JEWEL!!!! might be my favorite character!!!!!!! like sometimes i forget about him or languish about writing him so so bad but seriously im so nostalgic for him and love him so much. he was for the destined, his father harlequin was a doomsday prepper [yknow like, bunkers ‘ the worlds ending soon’] before the burning and is vindicated when the world does start ending, lol. hed been training jewel to take up the mantle as fucking insane doomsday person, i really wanted to get him more of a hypochondriac and survivalist but more often than not he just was timid and friendly.. at the start of the rp!! he made good friends with wisteria and hexapod :) and then people started fighting 24/7 and fucking dying and so jewel becomes a cannibal because hes terrified of being weak and dying, he wants to prove himself worthy of being there + a sprinkling of harlequins “eat people to absorb their powers/cannibalism isnt bad” mentality. jewels kind of unhinged for the rest of the rp but still holds his friendship with wisteria and hexapod close <3 i dont think he ever did anything important or useful. but he was there!

- ORIUS was for PPAU on dA, im not active on it anymore lol! orius is FUCKING BUFF AS HELL!! shes just a huge lady and her shtick is that she is dumb as rocks and suffocatingly selfless, she loves doing work for other dragons. her parents were neglectful so she just goes into towns and does busywork for random dragons, getting super buff because she has nothing better to do and she hopes it makes people treat her better, she just loves helping others because its.. all she knows how to do to get any affection. she busts a drug smuggling ring and gets enrolled into a big cool school :]

- PETRICHOR was for dawning rain and i am hoping to reuse him for animus academy!! theyre a dramatic actor rainwing, i remember when i submitted them i added aside from their app that says theyre naive and stupid that they are literally just lying and actually pretty smart and malicious. theyre like acting childish and silly and daft as a way to get what they want and a smoke screen to commit crimes. in dawning rain they got kidnapped for 4 days and no one noticed and they were bitter about it for fucking ever. they made gay with a nightwing, tranquility, but the writer had their stuff taken away :[ petriquil 4life.

- POISON IVY was for PPAU also! they have evil fucked up leafspeak that kills plants, and theyre a paid assassin. they used to steal to survive and kill people he had beef with so he was like wait a minute. i can do both. so he affiliates with good dragons to kill bad dragons while pursuing his hobby in baking :) hes very aloof, a lil flirty, just friendly and casual.

- lets just toss puddle, nimbus, crow, and caiman into one category; this was for my roleplay, the royal division! the conceit being that the skywing and mudwings had affiliated with the other tribes [aka; took them over with force] so now the tribe is split in two, except for a collection of dragons specially chosen by a nightwing prophet. all she knows is that youve got to deal with it, and deal with it they do! ill not give details about the twist; it might just be reused for something special coming up soon... oh yeah, rouge was there too! but rouge isnt a trd character;

- ROUGE is one of my oldest characters, for my FIRST wof roleplay, refuge and rogues, run in 2018!! rouge is a skywing animus, abandoned to KISMET and WEED [kismet is my oldest wof oc! her first name was chameleon because it was before i read escaping peril], kismet and weed are part of a problem solving group called refuge where they go around the continent fixing things for dragons. or taking in eggs if you dont want them, i guess. rouge is a BAD BOY!!! hes like a rebellious teen so he splits off and makes his own version of refuge but its EVIL and for BAD BOYS LIKE HIM!! well, theyre not evil- they still help people, but CHAOTICALLY! like with CRIME! if someone took something of yours refuge would barter with them to get it back; rogues would just steal it.

- WEISS and SUPERNOVA were for the PLANNED but currently UNPLANNED sequel to the royal division, titled the rising occult! WEISS is actually not a wof oc- hes a different version of one of my mains, still named weiss! with the last word in the title you could just guess what its about. but, hey, dawning rain crowd, i had the rising occult planned in 2019 so IM the first wof cult person, HA!

- WHIRLWIND was for THE LEGENDS, i never participated just because i felt like i did not belong. but whirlwind was going to be a petrichor type character, but genuinely incompetent. theyre a rainwing who pretends to be other tribes to get things, mostly love. very silly and stupid! they have rot in their brain.

UNLISTED: is CADDIS for shattered seas, who was a cowboy pirate!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seawing/rainwing, when he was young he hung out with the wrong crowd and owed a debt with his dearest friend- the fucking weirdos who he owned the debt to had them pay in BLOOD! one of them had to die. caddis’ friend wouldnt kill him, no, but they snapped his horns off and took his eye off and pretended that caddis had died. so caddis spends his days HUNTING HIS FRIEND DOWN! and refusing to let anyone else get so close to him. i never got to unveil that in rp, instead caddis appeared, had sex, and then presumably died as the rp ended

and extras;

these are characters for my old rp, the animus code, which is currently on hiatus! they and a lot of the setting and lore will be lifted and reused for animus academy!

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phcking-detective · 5 years ago

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1. Caught Dead with a Beretta

Fic Title: First Blood

Rating: E

Length: 1/33 chapters, ~128k

Tags: Slow Burn, Idiots to Lovers, Trans Character (gavin), Autistic / Asexual / Non-binary Character (nines), BDSM, learning to use good etiquette and safe words, Dom Nines / Sub Gavin, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort

Chapter Tags: suicide, death / murder, verbal hazing

Link on AO3

***

Gavin's sick of working suicides—they're depressing as hell and aren't going to do anything for his promotion. He's just got to the crime scene already wants to go home. It's fucking ass'o'clock in the morning, and he hasn't slept worth shit, so of course Nines texted to let him know about the scene the second he'd finally dozed off.

The elevator ride up to the two thousand square foot loft gives him enough time to get hit with shit, did I take my meds before I left home? Fuck. Maybe?

Goddammit. Maybe he should switch to those patches and gels instead of a weekly injection. Taking his T is the one thing he never, ever forgets, so if he switched to something he could do daily and took his meds for the BPD and ADHD at the same time …

The elevator doors ding open, ruining his train of thought. Nines is here already because he doesn't fucking sleep, apparently. That hot fuckboy he sucked off once—and the beat cop for this side of town—Brayden, is in there too, but Gavin's most recent bout of soul-crippling insomnia has actually worn him down too much to be horny.

Well, too much to put forth the effort for flirting, at least.

"—huh, Nine Thousand?" Brayden says as Gavin walks up.

Nines doesn't respond.

"He's RK nine hundred," Gavin says. "Not like the meme. Super disappointing."

Brayden grins. "Yeah, but I mean like, the movie."

"Nine thousand?"

Gavin frowns, trying to force his stupid idiot brain to think. All he can come up with is 300. Maybe it's a movie based off of that one book? The like, underwater … and submarines. Something-number thousand leagues under the sea? No fuck, that's not nine thousand.

"Two thousand," Brayden says. "And one."

Shit, is that the number of leagues or the title of the movie?

"Man, I am way too fucking tired." Gavin waves him off. "I'm not even into that film shit. I just like action movies."

Brayden heaves a deep sigh. "I've seen your file, Gavin. You're too smart to willingly lump yourself in with the uneducated masses."

"May we proceed with the crime scene, detective?" Nines asks before Gavin can reply.

Brayden flinches a little. The only reason Gavin doesn't get scared himself is because he's gotten used to Nines not breathing or moving—until he suddenly does. Makes people jumpy as shit to realize they forgot about the giant fucking android just standing there.

Not blinking. Or breathing.

"Go ahead," Brayden says with a sweep of his hand, like he didn't just jump half a foot.

"May we proceed with the crime scene, detective?" Nines asks instead of complying.

"Yeah, sure," Gavin grants permission.

Nines proceeds. Gavin tries to hold back a smirk. Brayden's the pretentious kind of asshole who loves explaining shit no one cares about, but he's pretty hot too, and Gavin's not quite ready to burn that bridge to Terra-dick-bia by pissing him off. No, that sounds terrible. The bridge to … mm, dick.

Damn, he's tired.

He follows after Nines, a little worried he might wander off in his sleep-deprived state and get lost in all this square footage of prime fucking real estate. Even saints would have to work to feel sorry for dead people as rich as this.

Finally, he stumbles into a section of the open floor plan that seems to function as the living room. There's a flat screen tv nearly as big as the wall it's mounted on, a coffee table made from a whole chunk of mahogany with a half-full tumbler, and a dead guy sitting in a chair with a gun in his hand and a hole in his head.

The TV still blares out the news, and the vic's own face flashes out at them.

"This the Ponzi scheme guy?" Gavin asks.

"Maverick Russell, age forty-seven." Nines shoves a finger inside the vic's mouth with no shame or preamble. "Blood alcohol level point-oh-nine-seven. The entry wound in his head appears to be consistent with a nine millimeter Beretta."

He takes a small packet out of his Cyberlife jacket pocket and somehow has the coordination to open it one-handed. Gavin wrinkles his nose at the antiseptic smell as Nines sanitizes both hands with the wipe, even though he only touched the vic with one finger. Then he lifts that same finger to the victim's head.

"Hey!" Gavin barks. "What have I told you about that shit?"

Nines stares back at him with that unblinking, lizard-eye look. He touches his finger to the entry wound but doesn't push it in. Just brushes it back and forth, which is somehow way freakier.

"The entry wound in his head is consistent with a nine millimeter Beretta," Nines says.

"Great."

Gavin walks a perimeter around the designated living room space. At first it's just to keep himself awake, but by the second circle, he's got one of those gut feelings. Something about this scene is off. Fuck if he can tell what though, 'cause the victim was drunk, watching his own demise on the news, and has a bullet in his head from the gun in his hand.

"You feel that?" He asks.

Nines cocks his head to the side. "The circulating air temperature is seventy--"

"No." Gavin huffs and starts on another circle. "Do you like … you feel what I’m feeling?"

"Your question is incomprehensible."

Gavin sighs and grinds the heels of his palms against his eyes. He bites back a comment about this being why androids can't make good cops. Fuck knows why he's bothering to be nice now. He just wants to get this shit done and go home.

When he opens his eyes, everything swirls with black spots in front of him. What's bugging him about this? The guy is dead, the gun is in his hand, the news says—

Gavin blinks the spots away and stands in front of the vic. Fake tan, but high enough quality that it'd look real if he didn't live in fucking Detroit. Decently fit, and the open kitchen on the other side of the room has one of those blenders that cost more than his car. The loft's decorated in masculine colors, all brown and navy and black leather.

"Go check out the kitchen," Gavin tells Nines. "Tell me what's in the fridge."

Nines does as he's told, but only after considering it. Gavin takes back the lizard comparisons. He's like a cat. One of those big jungle cats that's smart enough to eat the humans hunting them.

"Dannon Oikos triple blended greek nonfat yogurt, coffee, four pack, five-point-three ounce cups," Nines says. "Dannon Oikos trippled blended greek nonfat yogurt, peanut butter banana, four—"

Gavin rolls his eyes. "Just say yogurt. What else does he got?"

"Yogurt. Eggs. Milk. Sparkling water. Chicken breast. Mayonnaise. Sliced ham. Apples. Protein shakes." Nines opens the freezer. "Chicken breast. Chicken breast. Chicken breast. Chi—"

Gavin starts giggling. He can't help it. Nines turns around and glares at him, deliberately flashing his LED red for a second.

"OK, fuck off, it's late," he says. "I'm like, super tired. Just analyze that shit or whatever and tell me if his food matches any of the latest high protein fad diets."

"Yes," Nines replies so instantly Gavin wonders if he actually even looked it up at all. "The victim's food intake matches the Eight Step Enligh—"

Gavin waves him off. "Yeah, yeah. Cool. Does the bar have gin, vodka, and vermouth?"

Maverick Russell, definitely confirmed for one of those ultra-rich masculine gym types. Not like, an actual gym rat, just that generic rich person level of fitness achieved through liposuction, personal fitness trainers, and the latest fad diet.

"Yes, along with seven other distinct liqueurs." Nines finishes checking the bar and returns to the living room. "How is this information relevant, detective?"

"This drink and that gun don't match," Gavin says when Nines returns.

Nines cocks his head again. "Match."

"Yeah. I don't see any Bond memorabilia in here." Gavin takes another quick glance around, but the entertainment center doesn't display any vintage DVDs, and rich film buffs are not subtle about displaying their collections. "He ever purchased anything like that?"

Nines's LED spins yellow for about half a second this time before he replies. "No. There are no significant purchases of memorabilia relating to the James Bond books or movies present in Maverick Russell's finances."

"OK, then why the fuck does he have a Beretta?" Gavin asks.

Nines looks at the victim, and then back at him. "That is what he shot himself with."

"Yeah, but why," he stresses. "Would this guy—this self-obsessed, rich guy masc, desperate-to-be-cool motherfucker—have a Beretta?"

"It is the tool he used to complete suicide." Nines frowns. "Is there a reason he would not have a Beretta?"

"Because it's a ladies' handgun," Gavin says. "This guy's got three different TV remotes, a flat screen covering an entire wall, jesus, how old is that scotch?"

Nines sticks his finger in it, because of course he does. "One hundred and twenty-three years old, consistent with—"

"Shit, I would've thought this guy was trying too hard when I was twenty and desperate to be cis," Gavin mutters. "Look, I fucking promise you, this particular man literally wouldn't be caught dead with a Beretta—unless he's a James Bond fan. Even then … hey, Brayden!"

"His input is unnecessary, detective." Nines cleans his hands with another sanitary wipe. "If you would be more clear—"

His jaw shuts with a click as Brayden jogs over.

"Hey, you like the Bond movies?" Gavin asks.

Brayden heaves a tortured sigh. "I really prefer foreign movies, but for an American—"

"All right, sure. Would you ever kick it with a Beretta?"

Brayden bites the inside of his cheek, opens his mouth, then closes it with a frown as he thinks about it.

"What if you were like, a super fan?"

"Why?" Brayden glances around the loft with an interested look. "This guy have some collector's memorabilia?"

Gavin shakes his head. "Nah. But why else he's got a fucking Beretta?"

"Well that's not the drink for it," Brayden says immediately, then scoffs. "A scotch?"

"Yeah, and he had the shit to make a martini too."

"Weird. You thinking …" Brayden trails off, then winces. "Ah, shit. We uh, we got a guy a floor down. Said he heard the shot that, you know. But he said it was two bangs. And you know how shit witnesses are about getting anything right, and the TV was on and—"

"That's shit I need to know," Gavin snaps. "Doesn't matter how stupid you think it is, you're the first officer on the scene, you report every-fucking-thing to the responding detective."

"Yeah." Brayden clears his throat. "My bad."

Gavin lets it slide only because now he has something to go on. "Whatever. Check me on the precon for this, RK."

"Preconstruction running, detective."

"So we got two shots." Gavin backs up so he's approaching the living room from twenty feet away. "So we should have two guns. The perp, coming in here, gets shot 'cause the vic's only got the one entry wound, but—"

Nines touches the victim's hand, and then his cellphone buzzes.

The distribution of gunshot residue on Maverick Russell's right hand is not consistent with a Beretta. The gun he fired has a longer muzzle and larger caliber. My preliminary preconstruction matches it to a .500 S&W Magnum. The victim has four registered in his name.

Gavin closes his eyes and rubs the bridge of his nose. Would it fucking kill him to send that in five separate texts like a normal person? Now he's going to look dumb as fuck staring at the screen for five minutes trying to read one paragraph.

OK, he’s got the fifty caliber Magnum, that's easy to read. Longer muzzle, larger caliber, right.

"So the vic has a fifty caliber Magnum instead of a dinky Beretta, makes a lot more sense."

Nines doesn't correct him, so that must have been the gist of the message.

"The perp gets shot—"

"Where's the blood though?" Brayden asks.

Gavin glares at him. "Can you let me fucking work?"

Shit, he's doing it again and this is why no one wants to work with him because they fuck up--everyone fucks up, he knows this, he fucking knows this--and then he just can't let it go but why the hell does Brayden think he's allowed to speak right now when—

He's not in trouble. He's not in trouble, it's just the loft, being in another rich empty room again. None of them are children and he's not in trouble.

His cellphone buzzes.

The floor has been scrubbed clean throughout the loft. I did not realize that was relevant information. I will give you full reports of my analysis moving forward.

That's not too bad to read, and concentrating on making the letters stay still actually helps him cool off a bit for once. Gives him something to look at other than Brayden's pretty, hurt face or the perfect fucking interior design that still feels like when he was thirteen and—

Gavin shoves those memories aside and starts typing out a reply.

just text me that shit

I'll prolly yell if u try telling me about the floors at every crime scene

"Am I dismissed then?" Brayden asks.

Gavin looks up from his phone and can't force out any sort of apology. He never can. And anyway, fuck him. If Brayden wants to get pissy about getting snapped at twice after a legitimate fuck up and interrupting a senior detective mid-sentence, then sure. He can fuck right off.

"Go get the maid," Gavin tells him.

"The … android?" Brayden asks.

"No, the roomba. Yes, the fucking android maid. Someone scrubbed the floors clean."

And the side table.

Gavin doesn't bother with texting back this time. "That where the blood splatter would have hit?"

"Yes, detective," Nines answers out loud.

Gavin turns back to Brayden. "So there's your answer. Get the maid, 'cause I doubt the perp stuck around himself to clean the entire two-thousand square foot floor."

Brayden hesitates.

"She's still here," Gavin asks. "Right, Officer Burton?"

Brayden gives a curt nod, but he breaks into a run as he leaves.

AP700 #480 913 876 is located in the foyer of the building, along with Officers Miller and Abrahamson. I have sent alerts to their cellphones that the AP model is needed for questioning.

Gavin starts to ask how Nines knows that but … isn't this what he was literally designed to do?

"She's not a suspect yet," he says instead. "So cool it, Terminator. And don't hack peoples' phones. That's what the officers have walkie talkies for."

Nines makes a face like Gavin just suggested they all start using smoke signals. He's not exactly the type to go all buddy-buddy on witnesses himself, but they're definitely not going to get anywhere with Nines scaring the thirium out of their one lead.

Gavin takes a moment to wallow in how much he hates this before he calls Hank. At least if he has to be up before dawn, so will that motherfucker.

"We do not need assistance from Lieutenant Anderson," Nines says, his expression souring even further. "Or my predecessor. I recognize that I did not meet the necessary level of efficiency when I neglected to—"

"Hey, this isn't a punishment," Gavin says, tilting the phone down away from his mouth. "I fucking hate Connor too, and when we have an android suspect, I get that's your thing. But right now we have an android witness, and that's his."

"Ahh, fuck," Hank's voice comes out of the phone. "Sun's not even fucking—goddammit, Reed."

"We will be at your location in twenty minutes, Detective Reed," Connor's voice says next.

Gavin stares out into space as what's left of his soul collapses in on itself at the confirmation that those two really are fucking. Not even just fucking, they're sleeping together. In bed, for literal sleep.

"Nines, tell them they're disgusting," Gavin orders. "You can put way more hate into it than me."

"Disgusting," Nines says with a sneer that would put Gavin's mother to shame.

Gavin hangs up before Hank can reply. "I know you lack the capacity and all that shit, but if it makes you not-feel any better, I bet you five bucks the perp's android."

"Based off of what evidence?" Nines asks.

"Took a bullet and kept going." Gavin steps back into place where the perp probably walked in. "He's got the Beretta, but it's just a gun to him. He grabs the vic's gun, maybe disarms him, maybe doesn't even have to after the first shot."

"The blood vessels on the victim's wrist have not been damaged." Nines starts cleaning his hands again even though he hasn't even touched anything this time. "Why would the human stop shooting?"

"TV's on, he's drinking, has a gun out already." Gavin shrugs. "Might have been a suicide interrupted by a murder. Might've fired the first shot just being scared, y'know, gut instinct."

Nines just looks at him.

"Or you don't know, whatever." Gavin rolls his eyes. "But once he realizes what's happening—maybe he couldn't pull the trigger himself, but now here's someone gonna do it for him. Maybe he just sits back down. That still work with your preconstruction?"

"Yes," Nines says. "Along with two thousand, one hundred and fifty-eight other scenarios."

"Whatever. And just like, for the record, don't ask Hank about how this suicidal shit works," Gavin tells him. "Hank might not care, but those are fighting words with Connor."

Nines doesn't move a single centimeter as he stares silently at him.

"And don't fucking fight with Connor, we don't have time for it. Anyway, if anyone gets to pick a fight at a murder scene, it's me. So." Gavin walks up to the chair with his hand pointed like a gun. "The perp gets him back down, shoots him in the side of the head, then switches the guns so the ballistics will match."

"He could have taken the victim's gun." Nines's LED spins a few yellow cycles. "It is registered in his name. The suicide would have looked more authentic."

"And that's why I'm thinking our guy's an android," Gavin replies. "Someone who hasn't ever seen a movie before in his whole life. Thinks a gun is a gun is a gun. I mean, you didn't know why the Beretta was weird, and if you made A Plan to kill a guy with this gun, would you switch it up in the middle?"

Nines's LED immediately hits blue, but it's that fake-blue that means he's really covering up a red. Gavin almost kind of … has a feeling about it?

But then the elevator doors open with Brayden and the android maid inside. Gavin's got a burned bridge, a possible eye witness, and an a murder to deal with. Worrying about his partner's not-feelings will have to wait.

***

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / 31 / 32 / 33

This fic is also available on my Patreon! $1 tier gets you each chapter a week early, so you could be reading chapter two right now~

$2 tier gets you deleted scenes and bonus content--this week, it’s extra scenes about how Nines was found at Cyberlife and how he gets his first apartment

$3 tier gets you access to the first chapters of two new AUs I’m currently writing--an A/B/O universe in which Gavin is a bitter omega and Nines is his android partner determined to help him during his heat; and a Reverse AU where GV200 “Gavin” is assigned as Detective Richard Stern’s sobriety companion

#reed900 #gavin reed #dbh #reed900 fic #dbh fic #ch 1 #uglytrashgoblin

36 notes · View notes

weirdness-on-the-roof · 6 years ago

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critical role episode 48 campaign 2 notes and funny lines post break edit:this has detailed notes on all the stuff that happened later in the episode including physical descriptions near the end. enjoy ya nerds

don’t steal the books from a high powered mage; don’t kill the dude; beau turning into cad; look at beau planning for the future

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is marisha flirting with matt via matt playing yasha and beau flirting with yasha?

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‘tea the international language’ but no earl grey

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wensworth the goblin

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coming from Cad ‘im a fine tea maker’ is kinda a threat tbh

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elf that isn’t white/European??? yay! also really old elves are cool

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beau and cad tag teaming a political chat with a mage this can’t end poorly

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Nott: :beau ruins every situation shes in and is very abrasive

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send the freaking cat!!! why not?? caleb my dude

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god i miss allura and gilmore currently

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fucking fuck don’t lie to the mage beau plz stop this is painful ‘you’re not wrong’ sure blame the ancient sea god

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‘on the verge of returning’ yea no duh you let him out 2/3 of the way so fjord could get a spell

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‘we found a thing’ so smooth and eloquent beau ‘it was presented to us as the happy fun time ball’

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‘butter fingers with magical items’

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beau getting a geography lesson from a very old powerful elven mage

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‘magical geometric orb that has the ability to bend time and space and fate’ which is kept in a hot pink magic bag that happened to ‘fall into [their] lap’

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‘if youre down im down is what im saying... i have a few slots open in my loyalty bank if you’re willing to pay rent’ says the 20 some human who punches things to the centuries old wizard ‘

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liam stress eating

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cad’s hope in the group is heartwarming

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tower metaphors and a conversation!!!

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caleb reading shitty romance novel and nott eating a fish outside a mage’s tower in the morning sunlight in a major city

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caleb takes the rear

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first name drop and a while

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holy shit 200 years of magic using

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cad explaining materialistic nature of the rest of the party to elf dude is hilarious

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teleportation circles?????? in return for access to the sphere!! oh shit thats good

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or candy

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crap. no one has insight checked this dude and they gave him the happy fun ball and made a deal kinda.

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‘how do we prove our loyalty?’ ‘by not fucking me over’ sounds like a good plan

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is this guy just caleb’s patron now on the low idk this is how my head works and he said learn

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“you have a geometric shape that makes babies?” “yea they talked about that”

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fjord just kills the dude

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‘i got banishment on hold just in case’ *cackling laughter*

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i agree with elf dude, him not knowing anything about the dodecha is more concerning than him knowing about it

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ALL THE CITIES FROM CR1 MENTIONED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! I STILL MISS ALLURA AND GILMORE

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good to know the pink bag protects from divination on this plane but just this one

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jester and the traveler figurine

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cad included the Traveler in the ‘chaotic forces’ i still think the traveler is some kinda arch fey evil things idk its real late here and this is incoherent

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‘well, thats been my morning tea‘

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caleb getting additional tour

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good aesthetic for the room tbh

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letting weird people in for morning tea is entertainment is a mood and something i strive to be able to do without getting murdered one day

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so yasha and caleb both have gotten the ‘stay with friends’ chat from a powerful being which is nice. but also the ‘use who you need to’ going to caleb is vaguely concerning

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personalized biscuits [bourbon, cinnamon, lobster, fish and three unknowns]

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‘caleb, what happened in there?’

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cad not believing caleb’s bullshit and opening doors for caleb warms my heart

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‘if this isn’t the death of us, and if not hes a good ally. somethings gonna be the death of us so [yolo]’

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‘you can’t bullshit everyone in this world’

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cad talking about beau telling the truth: ‘you’re not very good at it but you tried

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jester looking out for nott and her home town

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caleb and beau being cute while also giving each other shit is the most sibling like thing

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omg going back to allfield that was so long ago for fucks sake BRYCE my person thank god

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jester had a boy band phase its cannon and i think the girls had a sleepover in jester’s old room. also marion never leaves the hotel. THE RUBY NECKLACE MY HEART AND THE HONEY AWWWWW

‘the army of men and women and inbetween that will do as i want them to’ god i adore her being protective of jester

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also the fact matt makes such a good mom why is he like this

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travel time!!!! ‘roll for initiative’-tal

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how does matt keep these notes so organized and remember all the npc names

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the ranger/beast master in Laura is coming out with nugget

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caleb is a devout cat person and jester is the definition of a dog person

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nott refining oil on a magical moving cart, while jester reads a romance novel and trains a dog,

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Dyren- Beau’s roommate at colbot souls; ‘taught beau lots of really cool things’ got sent to a warfront. shaved head, dark clothes, buff b/c ‘been workin out’, ‘do you love her?’ they had ‘good times’, then literal booty call, and dropping locations, Dyren was in Bladegarden. ‘fierce eyebrows, pointed nose’

OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES

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Vandren info drop to Fjord ‘he was making amends’

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Dyren responded and was hurt in Bladegarden but is safe. Beau looked immediately worried and happy about jester’s imput [’sounded way into you’]

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empire kids chat and caleb admitting insecurities about powerful people and being scared about the consequences of his actions and the group’s actions. caleb is scared about being forced to leave for safety and being ‘flayed alive’. my thoughts are he would leave if he became a threat to the others by being there or vise versa. trent would extort that b/c hes a dick

“caleb, unfortunately, you don’t get to choose who cares for you” you’re fucking correct Beau

“the problem with friends is that you have to care for them”

walks away “wow cool caleb! see- jester thinks you’re cool because shes your fucking friend!”

me too Tal “everything i like about those two characters in one conversation”

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5 years since Caleb left Trent and crew ie had a nervous breakdown

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gustav left town after being freed and trostenwald now has a WV accent that is too familiar

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100 extra soldiers in allfield. bryce is still up and kicking and wonderful. stuff ‘got this far east [quickly]’. the attacks came from underground apparently so fuck. the fields were burned, building destroyed a bit then they [Xhorhasians] left

“good thing is they’ve already been attacked so lightning doesn’t strike twice” oof thanks bryce

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beau just dead ass asking for illegal writing statements

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fjord having a thank u jesus bryce moment

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jester giving cad a pretty present is ‘so exciting’ and precious

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Cad not knowing cookbooks were a thing!!! and not being utterly literate enough to understand it

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wtf happened to liam’s voice in the ‘main export is oysters’ thing

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FELDERWEN!!!!!

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a dozen squads of 50 ppl each patrolling felderwen area so rippppp

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Nott knows where the halfing’s house is.... interesting... and is heavily drinking

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BLUE FLASH

elven woman in fine clothes of green and black ----lady vest durogna the arch mage of antiquity serboros assembly

a male figure in deep blue robes, older pale elf, fine clothes, the flash came from him----- martinette luden’th de____ arch mage of domestic protection

CALEB KNOWS THEM BOTH FROM THE ACADEMY AHHHHHH

he just lays flat and hides in the cart internally: ‘nopenopenopenope’

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several burned buildings, a warehouse, an inn, apothecary and several houses

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ohhhh shit the halfling was the owner of the apothecary and nott was looking for the shit she had been sending back this whole adventure....... im sad now that was confirmed

havent found a body of yeza

luke is yeza’s son at old edith’s house

halflings only produce halflings according to something i read at some point but forget where sooooooooo

shattered vials and materials and house stuff

CHILDREN'S TOYS

locked basement which nott knows of?? Nott is anxious and impatient when the door doesn’t open. jester fails, yasha rages and at a 19 and doesn’t break the door. ‘it wasn’t [trapped]’ but dispel magic worked to open it.

a 15′x15′ room, tossed ‘not like you remember’ to nott, a 2x3 iron chest. a single chair in the center of the room. definitely a struggle with heavy impacts and blade scratched on wall

nott was the torturer from the goblin tribe

chair was placed in the spot after the struggle

this was where he [yeza] kept chemicals according to nott

poisoned iron locked box (dull black glass) inside a retractable silver tripod to hold something atop it, 3 empty vials 1 full one with a liquid/gas fog like dull colored thing, a pile of destroyed notes [two pieces of still legible paper which have props]

dunamous field, causes ppl slow to be slower or faster, ‘captured crin operatives’ dunaments and dunamacy, origon gliffs, exist outside established schools of magic, theory in deeply rooted in arcana taken for granted, rooted in _____ town, 12-16 months to refine, word has found me that trent’s kiddos have knacks for this things, dreams are thrilling

well shittttt

crin on battle fields, ‘breaking fields of fate, fuck the raven queen

SHIIIIIT

a piece of dunemous

dodecha goes in tripod according to beau

chair facing chest

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cricks did this apparently

a little under 100 crowns guard killed, 4 civilians burned

soldiers just ‘slowed down’

left via tunnels and collapsed them behind them

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nott dont be a bitch and don’t get mad at caleb and call them ‘his people’

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cad picks up caleb and ‘youre not at fault here, youre the solution here. don’t let her anger... its not about you’

my HEART

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the chest is too big for the haver sack but fits in lorenzo’s bag of holding

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people have entered and exited since the attack and left the chair and stuff

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lots ‘o chairs

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nott needs to see ledith and uke (?) and not flip the fuck out

‘humble hobble’

nott looked like halfling plump face, braids, tan skin

edith- human older, grey hair, beady eyes, ever present smile like face

LUKE IS HER SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CANNON

*edit- rewatching this and seeing ever one’s faces “wheres my son?!” particularly laura/liam/travis just hurt. liam just looked up after a second and travis did his face he does and laura just stiffened and eyes and hand to face. caleb/liam who knows just hugs himself the rest of the convo. marisha is note taking and fuck the video off now

about 5 yrs old, blue eyes, tan/light brown skin, halfling

gave him the doll of the king

IM GONNA CRY NOW BYE

‘HES PROABLY DEAD NOW TOO LIKE I THOUGHT YOU WER’

yenza locks him away when ‘the mean lady comes by’

mean lady has pointy ears and comes often, luke was kept in room, luke was pushed out of the house and told to go somewhere safe so he ran to edith’s house and ‘everything was on fire’

‘im not strong enough to come back yet but know that [im stll thinking of you and i send things] and i hope dad sends them to you.“ fuck my heart

“in my heart i think he is” “well don’t die”

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the elves are gong to the ruins of yenza’s house

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marisha looked so betrayed

tal ‘i was waiting for the riegel shoe to drop’

WOW

HEY CALEB- WOOOW

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we’ll pick up hiiiere

fuck you sam and matt and everything abou this my heart is just FUCKKK

ummm so enjoy the frantic poorly taken notes <3

#critical role spoilers #spoilers #lore drop #ohh shit #fuck you sam #not okay in the slightest why are you like this #i dont have words at this point

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jamesginortonblog · 7 years ago

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SALLY HOLMES

JUL 25, 2017

No disrespect to Jude Law, but he isn't the hottest man of the cloth to grace our TV screens this year. The divinely sexy James Norton has been blessing our Sunday nights playing vicar Sidney Chambers on Grantchester this season—and he takes the hot clergyman cake.

In addition to his day job solving murders and preaching sermons on Grantchester, you might recognize Norton from his roles in Happy Valley, War and Peace, and Death Comes to Pemberley. With his period good looks, the actor doesn't want to get pigeonholed as an old-fashioned heartthrob, but as the complicated Sidney, Norton delivers the kind of drama we still love today.

On Sunday night's penultimate episode, Sidney was presented with an ultimatum by Amanda (Morven Christie), the divorced woman he's loved―and whom we've been rooting for―since the star-crossed lovers first met. "It's me or the church," she tells him, before closing the door in his face.

"People ask me what I would choose, and I would hate to be in that situation," Norton tells me over the phone. "Poor Sidney." Here, the actor talks Grantchester drama, adoring fans, and how he really feels about taking his shirt off.

First off, I'll just tell you, I texted my mother telling her I was going to talk to you, and she responded, "OMG." She's a very big fan.

I love your mum. It's so funny—when I'm walking around, whoever comes up to me, whatever age they are, they always say, "My mum absolutely loves you." I owe my career to the mums.

That's not a bad thing! What do you get recognized for the most?

It's a mixture. Grantchester is the most far-reaching. I've been to some weird places in the world and I didn't really appreciate how much and how well it sold in Canada. I'm on the Saint Lawrence River, and this lady in a canoe is like "OH MY GOD! You're the vicar!" In the UK, the young people will have watched Happy Valley and a little bit of War and Peace. Everyone always asks me, "Oh, is it really tiring [being recognized]?" Most people are really polite and lovely. But it actually happens so seldom, and also everyone's so charming and lovely about it. It's actually fine! People are quietly coming up to you saying, "Love the work." Great! That's very kind.

Have you ever had any crazy fan reactions?

Occasionally. I'm not very good at social media. I don't really—I occasionally get sort of quite [crazy mentions], which you have to take with a pinch of salt. When Happy Valley came out, I remember some people losing the line between reality and the arc of the story. I can think of an instance where one woman was standing behind me and I turned around and she saw my face and just let out this horrible scream. But generally I've avoided the mad crazy fans. The Grantchester fans particularly are so loyal and love the show so much. Sidney and all those characters—they're so personable and so beautifully drawn, so I think people really feel a great affection and warmth towards the show and them.

The second to last episode just aired in the US, and it ended in this very dramatic moment where Amanda says to Sidney, "It's me or the church."

Yeah, she spells out the final ultimatum. In the series, the central tenet is love vs. duty. Sidney loves a good conflict. He loves to wrangle it and sort of crash into an existential crisis. There's nothing bigger for him, really. As he says, if God is love and the person he loves is Amanda, then why should his duty to the church preclude him from that relationship? What [Grantchester writer] Daisy Coulam does so beautifully is set up these conundrums, these uneasy ethical debates, and there's no answer to them. They are the ultimate star-crossed lovers because the time dictates that he's gonna do his job, and he's not able to marry a divorced woman. But he's a young, passionate, hot-blooded man, a romantic man, who is deeply in love with one person and has been for years. And yet he loves God and he has made this vow to serve God.

It's a gift for an actor because it's that wonderful sort of gray, messy area. Good drama is all about the middle ground, and that's what Grantchester nails beautifully. People who watch the series, their reactions are divided. Some people felt like he should choose the church, and some people felt like he should choose Amanda. It really was a testament to how cleverly drawn that central conundrum was. People ask me what I would choose, and I think I would hate to be in that situation—poor Sidney. But it was a really rewarding headspace to explore for an actor. It was really exciting to play with.

The show also tackles some interesting themes, like the tension between homosexuality and faith at that time―after Leonard tries to commit suicide, Sidney comforts him, saying, "You are who you are, you can't fight who you are."

I love that. I love the fact that it's so much more than just a procedural. We've got these incredible characters like Leonard, and not only do we have a murder mystery, which now comes second to the overarching narrative and the characters' journeys, but also [Daisy Coulam] manages to weave in these topical and poignant debates of the time. This, as you said, or how the last season dealt with the death sentence and issues of race and racial equality. Without being sanctimonious or preachy, it's just really thought-provoking. I love those scenes of Leonard's. They're two men who are born into the wrong era. There's a moment in the last episode—Leonard finds his voice and that storyline evolves. Obviously, I won't tell you what happens. You can look forward to that.

So what is next for you?

We just finished filming McMafia, a new AMC/BBC co-production, which is very different from anything I've filmed before. It's an eight-part, big-budget exploration of the modern-day mafia and the globalization of organized crime. Without really realizing, Hossein Amini, who wrote Drive, and James Watkins, who is the creator and director, managed to create the most zeitgeisty show possible. With everything that's going on with Trump and his son, and Jeff Sessions and James Comey, everyone speculates about what corruption looks like. This show is also a little glimpse behind the curtain at financial corruption. It's a really good, Godfather: Part 2–type story about a man who gets sucked into the mafia, and I'm very lucky to play that role. I've got some press to do for Flatliners, which is coming out in September. And then I have time off and a bit of breathing space to find the next job. I don't know what it will be, but I'll keep you posted.

These projects and 'Happy Valley' sound different than the period dramas you're known for: 'Grantchester,' 'War and Peace,' and 'Death Comes to Pemberley.'

Do you think you have a period drama look?

Well, I think every actor runs the risk of falling into one of those pigeonholes. I was so lucky with Happy Valley, because most actors go into a job because they're inquisitive, they want to learn about the world. And a great way of doing that is to put yourself in different headspaces and worlds and periods. If you just do the same world and the same role, then it becomes less of that. Some people like that, and they choose that stability and know what they're good at. But the chance to transform is the most exciting thing. So I was really lucky when the people at Red [Production Company] took a punt on me for Happy Valley, because it allowed me the opportunity to go on a huge transformative journey.

I went to good schools and I sound sort of London, I think, and the way I look can be seen as period, but Happy Valley was such a detour from that, and now people are more willing to entrust me with slightly different roles. For example, the McMafia role is definitely similar, this man who carries a real darkness. I would hate to be put in a rut. The plan is always to complement the last job with something completely different.

I read in one of your interviews that you support male objectification. Is that correct?

It was slightly taken out of context. I don't support male objectification at all, but it often comes up in conversation—how you feel about taking your clothes off in a scene. And all I was saying was that you can get on your high horse and fight it, because sometimes there are scenes like that with no story in them. Or there can be two prongs to the scene—one that sparks story, and the other providing something more titillating. For me, as long as it predominantly serves story, then I don't really mind. All I was saying was that we've spent so long fighting against women being objectified, so it's about time men had to do a little bit of that as well. As long as it doesn't divert from the story and compromise the credibility of a project, then it's fine. It's done in good nature.

But I generally don't really search for the kind of meathead roles. Sidney is the least meatheady—he's a vicar who drinks too much and smokes too much, he's not a gym buff. I took my clothes off at the beginning of an episode and the papers love to run that story. You know it's gonna happen, but it's fine. You can get on your high horse, but it doesn't matter because you've probably got a little bit less of a right to get on that high horse.

You can give the people what they want as long as it makes sense in the story.

Totally. Exactly. And it's fun in a way, and I have very little right to be shouting in comparison to some of my female colleagues and counterparts who have had to deal with it over the years.

Is there any role that you haven't done yet or would love to tackle?

I haven't done much theater in the last four years and I really would love to go back on stage―my training at drama school was very classical, very theatrical. I did loads and loads of Shakespeare in drama school and I've not done a single bit since leaving, so I would love to do a bit of Shakespeare. I know it's massive, but I'd love to do Hamlet just to see if I can. I think that's the ultimate challenge and best sort of storytelling there is. I don't know if I have roles that I have a burning desire to play. But there are a lot of fascinating individuals out there and I get given these amazing opportunities, so I'll wait and see.

#James Norton #Grantchester #interview #article #Elle

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 8 years ago

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warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Trucy, you don’t need to take sides. There’s one side. The truth. And both Apollo and Phoenix are on that side.

They’re not at the same bench but they’re on the same team. It’s gonna be ok.

“I’m sorry too, little lady! this is all my fault..”

Oh so trucy gets an apology, but not Apollo? cool cool whatever

Trucy, if Phoenix and Apollo become bitter enemies over a property dispute then they weren’t really all that close to begin with.

Dhurke: invalides trucy’s feelings while simultaneously spouting more of his Manly Man shit

“one minute we’re trading blows, and the next, we’re having drinks together”

well if that’s his mentality i can see why he thinks its ok do be an utter fuckwad to everyone

“We’re simple creatures at heart! Hah-hahahaha!”

yes... men are so simple at heart... they’re just a bunch of neanderthals... thanks Dhurke, truly you are the way to the future.

To be honest, I am glad that this is a civil case. When I first saw the publicity I was sure they’d made Phoenix a prosecutor for no reason and I was furious.

I’m not super glad at the way things turned out but at least the bullshit counter didn’t go into the red and explode.

Phew. I’m actually sighing in relief here. Maybe I can pretend what follows is all a friendly game or something.

Aww; poor Judgey’s confused :(

...they seriously don’t need to have a falling out to be on the opposite side of a courtroom. Lawyers face each other all the time.

They don’t have to hate each other, they just have to keep things professional, otherwise they’d cause a conflict of interest. Like... it’s not ideal but tbh it’s more a danger to their clients than each other.

Y’know, I’m gonna dare to be optimistic here; as much as I hate this storyline and most people in it, this is actually an interesting and character-developing scenario.

Apollo has to face off against his mentor, the guy who... well I’d say Kristoph taught him all his tricks, but Phoenix was a sort of moral guiding force, I guess. Apollo standing up and holding his own against a superior is a legitimate way to show that he’s come into his own. Plus, since it’s not framed in a negative light (or at least, it shouldn’t be) it’s more impactful than phoenix being straight up evil since that would make it easy to take him down. This is a contest between two people who simply happen to be on opposite sides of the chess board. Again, it’s a pretty legit way to show Apollo’s growth.

...that said, I just wish it wasn’t happening after zero character build up and a heaping serving of bullshit. :T

Oh well. At least they got something right.

it is pretty hilarious how much they’re trying to up the drama though. it’s not that deep, guys

I guess Atishon just doesn’t have legs

[snerk] his shitty speeches are actually kinda funny. ...if a little cliché.

...he’s standing... but I'm still not ruling out that he’s legless...

Tbh, even though Atishon is clearly lying, the fact that Datz basically threatened the orb out of Buff does make this kind of in their favour.

...Apollo, don’t overcomplicate the case. All you have to do is prove that it’s not the crystal and you can have it.

Reasons Apollo would make a good rebel: He doesn’t blab his rebelness all over the place for no reason.

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR MS. SKYE

nice ankles, ms skye.

“Ema..?”

“Use some manners, we’re in court”

thats not the way you acted the last time you were called as his witness :/

whoa seriously whats with the sudden crazy 180 for Ema? Yeah, she’s grumpy, but suddenly she’s acting like Apollo’s some rude little shit off the street. Why is she upset that he’s going up against Phoenix? Why does he need to apologize? JUST BEING ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUTROOM DOESN’T MAKE YOU ENEMIES.

or did the SOJ team forget the lessons we learned in the trilo–– oh who am i kidding they’ve never even laid eyes on those.

“You’ll never get the job done with that attitude. Take it from someone who’s been there” Been where???? Been where, Ema?????? what the fuck are you talking about what is going on

haha the fey statue and the urn were ‘stolen’, huh? yeah. stolen from a better game.

pfft. So Buff’s some Kaitou Kid type, huh?

y’know ive been neglecting to mention it but have you noticed how much they skimp on animation compared to DD? DD had like 20 tiny animated cutscenes, and SOJ has one lame one at the beginning of each case to set it up. I can’t believe they even slashed the animation budget.

has anyone noticed how unfocused 3D phoenix looks. he looks like he’s just. staring out into space.

i love they don’t use gendered pronouns to refer to Buff’s kid. Remember the last time they did that? Mr. Andrews......

“I was shocked to see the urn that came from Kurain in Kurain”

anyway quit referencing actually good games, SOJ. Back to the shame corner for you.

oh COME ON. How do you steal a fucking wall relief?!

and he really couldn’t just get a fucking permit? what the fuck is this

“but good intentions are no get-out-of-jail-free-card”

they are a sentence-lightening card, though! either way, this is one of the things i like most about AA. No matter how good your intentions were you still dont get away with cold-blooded murder.

OR KIDNAPPING, AURA. HAVE FUN IN JAIL YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR LESBIAN REPRESENTATION.

every single theft of an artifact can be attributed to Dr. Buff. every single one.

alright, so we’re back to that whole ‘missing object report’. Thing is, unless there really IS a Crystal of Ami Fey, this wouldn’t work out. Atishon has to provide evidence that he owned the item, or that it existed in the first place. If this crystal turns out to be made up I’m gonna pitch a fuckin fit.

Don’t disappoint me, SOJ.

“Wimperson”

ah, SOJ, with all the comedic genius of a third-grader.

...to be fair i could say the same about Larry but i like larry and AA1. and it also plays into his phrase-thingy!

seriously. gimme pics of the crystal or we’re gonna have some serious problems.

“So how do you know this item is the thing he’s looking for”

“he said so”

THATS. NOT EVIDENCE.

oh judge, your oldness never ceases to be to be enjoyable

(that wasn’t sarcasm btw i love that dumb running gag)

seeing phoenix scream from the opposite side of the table is very enjoyable. just because i love seeing phoenix scream but also like having that scream not mean something bad for my case.

i get to have my cake and eat it too! <3

um i dont think you can put dashes in email addresses.

“Don’t tell me!”

“Oh, but I will anyway.”

I love Apollo so, so much.

so you looked far enough into this that you tried to hack his computer but you’ll accept “its mine cause i said so” as concrete proof of something??

“Maybe the recipient of the email was a dog lover!”

he might be on the other side with the kid gloves off but phoenix is still Phoenix “a baseball also has stitches” Wright.

fuck. he walks to the bench. he cant not have legs.

...but maybe........

what the fuck

Atishon has the same birthday as my dad

DISGUSTING

oh my god, seeing phoenix /sweating/ on the other side is even more surreal

i also love that everyones making ‘politicians are gross’ jokes willynilly but they all forget that they’re Criminal Defence Lawyers

“This is... Quite... a thing... you’ve said”

I'm wheezing

this is turning out to be way funnier than i expected

please SOJ I'm having fun don’t stop me now

i mean he has a point. if Atishon leant the item to Bluff to study that still means that Atishon owned it in the first place.

HOWEVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROOF OF THE ORIGINAL ITEM IN ANY WAY RESEMBLING WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE.

its so weird to see phoenix on the wrong side of the bench that i keep getting his voice wrong when i read him out loud. i keep making him sound deep and authoritative instead of... well, how he usually sounds.

“Well, grandchildren ARE meant to be spoiled... I mean, that’s what grandfathers are for!”

judgeyyyyyyyyy

im crying

ema: can i fuck off now

“lets get more info on the crystal”

FINALLY. thank you, athena.

NO, NOT ITS HISTORY, DAMNIT

PROVE THAT IT EXISTS AND YOU OWNED IT.

“back in the old country”

...england..?

pft i though his testimony said “The Hilarious History” instead of illustrious history and i was so ready

“he protected the spirit mediums, a minority back then, from the rest of the locals”

well thats a big fat lie because

A) Kurain village is build on mediums

B) no way the Fey clan would allow a male ruler

we could reaaaaaaaallly use some photo evidence, Atishon.

“One Ives Shineto”

ok what the FUCK. where the hell are all the women?! HEY. SOJ TEAM. DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT THE oh of course you didnt fuck meeeeeeeeee

also whats that pun

FFFF PHOENIX YA LIL SHIT

“The transformation the mediums underwent when channeling spirits frightened the locals”

i am glad to know changing your entire bone structure is as scary looking as it sounds. of course, i doubt people would be frightened for too long when they were talking to deceased loved ones.

i must say they did do a good job writing Atishon’s lines.

“The Kurain channeling technique is known to have originated from Kooraheen, and Ami was said to travel there to train”

No, Ami invented the technique, and according to your backstory, she lived there first. Can you even keep your own facts straight?

I mean, apart from all this being bullshit and i hate it.

i legit cant believe it took THAT LONG for phoenix to point out the fact that the handover agreement was signed under duress.

that'd be like, the first thing i pointed out.

...ah, there it is. I knew this couldn't stay a happy little civil case for long. Here comes the murder.

Also, really Phoenix? You didn’t bring up the fact that he might have been killed any earlier too?

Now that theyre bringing up the pile of books, I realize how ridiculous it is that there were so many of them on the ground. Pulling out one book might dislodge one or two next to it, but not the entire shelf. For the books to have fallen like that, they would have needed to have been shoved from the other side, or for the shelf to have listed forwards. neither of those things are possible. and nobody noticed this?!

i mean the only reason i didnt think about it was because i knew this was murder from the start.

Man, Phoenix, with all your “with respect for the dead” talk, it sure did take you a while to bring up the fact that you knew he was murdered and the police should probably be getting on that right now.

>edit: Actually I just realized how despicable that is; keeping the fact that this was murder secret just to use it later on as a quick bargaining chip in your civil case.

Hey capcom? You can screw up the series all you like but FUCK you for making Phoenix a skeezy piece of shit on par with the likes of von Karma. Because you know who else withholds information that sensitive for such a petty reason? MANFRED VON KARMA.

Fuck you, capcom, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK you.

“Did you forget who you were up against, Mr. Justice?”

All I do is hurl baseless accusations!!

wow the second this turned into murder i just got tired of this case. Also, Phoenix, you better back your butt back to your seat. Being a murder case, this requires a prosecutor... something that you are not.

theres AN AUTOPSY REPORT. WHY ISNT THIS A SEPARATE TRIAL. THIS SHOULD BE A SEPARATE TRIAL; THIS SHOULD BE BEING... TRIAL-ED IN ANOTHER COURTROOM. you can reference it, and use it as evidence, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST COMBINE THEM.

Damnit, Capcom, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISAPPOINT ME.

BUT YA JUST COULDN’T HELP IT, COULD YOU.

...Datz is in the gallery... But he was just in jai–– fuck it whatever

ok now that this is a murder trial Atishon’s non-answers aren’t funny anymore, theyre ANNOYING. I WANT THIS SHIT TO BE OVER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YAP ME A CONTRADICTION OR I’LL CRAM YOUR BELOVED PLAQUE UP YOUR POLITICALLY INEPT ASS.

“Try me, o lord of plebs”

its been a long time since any meme-y type person has called someone else a pleb... please try to keep up, SOJ.

i love that phoenix, at the end of each statement, politely states “get the fuck on with it, asshat”

why the fuck did he

fall asleep what

OOO THE JUDGE YELL

AW YEA

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

you existed in the first place, Apollo. I’m sorry.

No.............

I do not like that Phoenix used the phrase, “Witness, I think it’s time for you to come clean.”

You know who uses phrases like that.

Assholes.

“You should know I always come fully prepared, Justice!”

( buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it––)

...Right, so Phoenix isn’t a prosecutor but he sure as hell has been doing a lot of prosecutorial things. Calling all the witnesses, explaining the case, etc.

Oh and he and and Atishon still didn’t tell anybody that Buff was most likely murdered right off the bat so ffffffuck you capcom

Fuck you, Datz. Stop laughing and fucking focus on the fact that you’ve been accused of murder and it’s kinda tough on your ol’ pal Apoll– oh wait silly me i forgot none of you give a rats ass about him. All you do is laugh and eat and sit around waiting for Sadmad to come home.

“Better brace yourself, son”

Hey guess what Dad warranty expires if you haven’t made or tried to make contact in 20 years so get that word out of your nasty mouth, Dhurke.

“Worried this might make a rift between you two...

...and that you might then leave the agency”

haha

“Hahaha. She has an active imagination”

hahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

“...Nothing a little persuasion couldn’t handle.”

Capcom. If it was something douchey. I will tear you in half.

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR

robot guy

i remember when i used to be excited for each new case. now I'm just scared what new horrors the next will bring.

hang on why does the drone not have a special sound font? if it didnt disguise the operator’s voice it would be kind of obvious who they were...

HOLY SHIT MISSILES

SO... THE WHOLE “BOMBS IN THE COURTROOM ARE HORRIFIC THING” FROM DD IS JUST FORGOTTEN, HUH??

hang on.

“Capitalist pig; I’ll turn you into pork stroganoff”

is “Sarge” legit Russian, then? That explains the “Komandir” thing. Shit, I have to change my voice.

ok so Sarge is written with an American Sargent phonetic accent, but uses Russian rankings and seems to be communist. What am I missing???

“I guess he does dress like he’s in the military...”

hes a paratrooper!!! why dont you know that? i thought you grew up with him.

“That’s true. Papa didn’t keep our house locked up.”

...the... archeologist... with a house full of priceless treasures... didn’t lock his fucking doors.

hey congrats for trusting the mediums and all but guess what? thats irresponsible as fuck and incredibly stupid for a supposed thief so I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to be discovered/bumped off.

those have got to be nerf bullets cause firing a GUN in court is just fucking ridiculous. like too far for Ace Attorney. Melee weapons, ok. Long range firearms? No.

...Though... Note to self... Next time, when creating parody prosecutor, you now have legit grounds to just give him a fucking gun........

“Sorry, but I’m afraid lawyers are missile-proof.”

Note to self. Upgrade gag prosecutor to missile launcher.

ooh, i see this drone is in the same vein as the Assassin’s Radio.

“Courtroom warriors don’t use guns or missiles, because evidence is our weapon of choice!”

Ahah! THATS why prosecutors are so violent. They never have any evidence to back up their assertions so they just fuckin ASSAULT people.

i... had a little chuckle at ‘truth bomb’

“What’s with him and Siberia of all places?”

Well context wise it seems he's some kind of... Defected-to-communist American?

Huh. Athena’s powers must be based purely on sound waves then. Interesting.

Anyway, it’s mood matrix time! Hooray!!! I’ve warmed a lot to the Mood Matrix to be honest. I like the glowy lights.

I’m gonna make a guess right now that something was on fire. Cause thats some PTSD shit right there.

pfft the gallery was so on board with their new judge overlord. Also thank goodness this is Ace Attorney and this shit is allowed to fly, cause you’d get your ass handed to you if you tried this in real court, pal.

Um, I wouldn’t dig any deeper if sarge is still in such a state. It’s not... safe. Either that or you best hope that thing’s bottomless magazine has run out. Plus, I love that whoever’s watching over the actual Sarge in the Lobby hasn’t tried to stop them when they noticed them SCREAMING AND PRESSING THE ‘FIRE’ BUTTON REPEATEDLY.

Or they’ve left Sarge unattended and the Dark Age of the law isn't over because it was an omnipresent thing to begin with...

its ok, game. contrary to what you think, you did write Sarge’s backstory in a memorable enough way for me to remember it up until now.

Huh.

HUH.

So... the person involved in writing Ace Attorney Investigations... Has written a sequence in which we must burn evidence to prove a point, huh?

DONT YOU HINT AT ME, GAME

that solemn moment of reflection doesn’t include Phoenix cause he’s over behind his desk bawling his eyes out

“I’LL BE YOUR NEW PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

actually Athena’s got a point. Her tragic backstory is much more similar to Sarge’s than Apollo’s. She can properly relate to losing one’s last family member in a horrific way.

S––

Well, considering her age, Cutesie Pan-up shot for Armie.

Apollo’s having serious Robin Newman flashbacks right about now

ahhhhhhhhhh. her mom was Russian. It all makes sense. Tbh just for now, forgetting everything else, this kind of does feel like an old case. I’m at peace... for now.

i guess it’s less of an orb and more of some kind of lantern then. Cause you can’t really burn a crystal

unless its

whitcrystal

hahah

hahahahahahahhaha

so far I'm ranking the cases from best to worst: Magical, This part of Revolution, Foreign, Rite and Storyteller.

sgsjgsjsjjs athena’s INTENSE LOOK OF HUNGER as Apollo burns the orb

“I wanna see me some sweet mama goddess”

damn shit thats her face

thats uh

ohhhh

oh i see. I was wondering what the ‘great power’ the orb could bestow upon people was, and now I realize that since it depicts her face, if someone knows her name, they could channel her. And since she's basically an actual goddess that would bestow some serious power.

not bad, not bad at all.

i know i highly dislike Kooraheen but i legit feel kinda blessed

“The issue is crystal clear”

*seals phoenix’s fate with a fucking pun*

dont keep saying “did we just win” before the verdict is handed down, you'll jinx it.

oh hey, blackmail. its like a perfect reenactment of Capcom getting Phoenix to sign onto this sequel.

Phoenix: According to the legend, once the founder returned... She would bestow spiritual power onto the person who solved the riddle.

Apollo: ...Y-youre kidding, right?!

[Apollo looks flummoxed, the gallery whispers. We cut back to Phoenix’s smirk, and then––”

???: Phoenix... Just give it up.

[Phoenix screams in shock. We pan back to Apollo......... Who now has D-Cup breasts and a very familiar face.]

/...i wish.

legit tho i cant believe he's trying to pull this. I'm cackling

this is the lawyeriest lawyer ploy ive ever seen

“What’s gotten into him?”

bad writing.

sdsgsdhjafhgj EVEN THE JUDGE IS CALLING BULLSHIT IM CRYI

(sigh) i guess we’re really gonna have to finish this, aren’t we. oh well. on we go! let’s forge ahead!

y’know i just remembered that Pearl appeared like, once in this. Was that her only part? I guess she just existed to remind us that Kurain village used to have girls in it.

noooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuck

i really hope the contradiction doesn’t require pressing because i aint sitting thru this fuck’s antics again.

it has rounded corners.

and its huge.

phoenix and apollo’s objections are too similar, i can never tell who’s screaming.

“There haven't been many murders there, I take it”

well........ not “many”

i love that Atishon pledges to banish murdeer from Kurain village and Apollo is all “yea good luck with that” like Murder is inevitable, even in a tiny village like Kurain.

Thats. kinda terrifying.

...though considering the way Kurain is...

i cant tell phoenix and apollo’s voices apart (sigh)

i never know whose objecting

Phoenix: my client couldn't have viewed the murder directly from where he said he was, but the fact remains that he had inside knowledge of said crime!

...phoenix, you’re just trying to help apollo along, right? you didnt seriously believe that that sounded positive to your case, instead of Shady as Fuck, right??

“You talk big, Mr. Justice, but do you have what it takes?”

he just finished telling Phoenix he was about to put what Phoenix taught him into practice. Phoenix should be swallowing a lump in his throat and trying not to cry of pride right now.

“that suitcase could be a weapon anyone could use!”

yeah... yeah! even someone in a wheelchair!! oh wait wrong case.

..........but we still have someone in a wheelchair

a 3D crimscene view

haven't seen that shit since AAAJ

‘THAT SHITSTAIN ON THE BOOK PROVES HE WAS HAVIN THE COFFEE SQUIRTS, CASE CLOSED BOYS”

sorry i just felt like being vulgar

“and there it is, the final excuse cornered killers are so fond of”

holy shit

i love apollo

phoenix shut up please, just shut up

let it end

let me rest

oh wait

ah here we go.

“hes a bright young politician with a future ahead of him, its in our nations best interests to avoid burdening him with the taint of scandal”

hey, uh Enshiro

ill never forgive you for putting those words in Phoenix Wright’s mouth

“Lawyer! Do something! Or a bad thing will happen to ‘her’!”

no? nobody else heard that incredibly obvious threat? nobodys gonna

“whats he talking about? well, i can ponder that later. for now...”

FUCK

YOU

DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN THAT IS CONNECTED TO YOUR FUCKING EARS?!

HOW THICK HEADED DO YOU HAVE TO FFUCKING BE TO NOT RECOGNIZE A GODDAMN THREAT WHEN YOU HEAR ONE YOU

YOU

YOU PUTRID PICKLED RED PEPPER?!?!??!?!

Athena: oh yeah i also heard Atishon making blatant threats at Phoenix but meh, phoenix made me pinky swear not to tell.

I’m not shitting a lung in fury, I’m just getting rid of an organ i dont need through the nearest available passage. I’m perfectly calm and not cursing this game, Eshiro and his entire team to the pits of their own stupid made up hell.

“I had no idea. This must’ve been excruciating for him.”

i wanted to write a sarcastic jingle but i had trouble coming up with rhymes, so the blunt bottom line is:

when you’re not good at writing, simply steal clever and impactful plots from previous iterations so that you’ll seem clever and exciting

i mean

nobody even remembers Farewell my Turnabout anymore, right????

what the fuck is his deal with being king

OH SHUT UP DURKE

GO FUCK YOURSELF

think youre gonna steal Franziska and Mia’s thunder????????????? no

you aren’t a fucking fraction of an inch as cool as either of them.

“he’s saved my neck so many times”

when

“where there’s a will, there’s a way”

how about where theres a whip, theres a better game?

“wait................... maybe we can summon the founder now that we can see her face??”

aww. you got there in the end, didnt you apollo.

...that doesnt automatically spare Maya’s life. Pearl is also a spirit medium. And i’m fairly certain there are other–– oh wait SOJ retconned that neverMIND

anyway, Atishon could still bump Maya off and then force Pearl to channel Mamma Kooraheen

OH MY GOD HE JUST BROUGHT UP PEARL

WHY PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID

WIMPERSON BROUGHT UP PEARL

THE IDIOT VILLAIN BROUGHT UP THE FLAW IN YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN

GSEGFISGUILSGIULSGUI;SRHG

“pearl wouldn't help you if anything happened to maya”

um. you morons think he’d politely ask her to help??? he's already kidnapped someone and threatened their death?? he and his founder aren't above torture or blackmail????????????

you FUCKING MORONS

why even bother resigning? just do what you did before and let him go to jail.

...this’d better just be a lead up to his breakdown animation

YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKSTAINS JUST END IT ALREADY

END IT END IT END IT EDN TI EDNEI HDFI HSRLG SIHFLIHIR HF;LIVHLSIRHIGHISRHOVGLORIH’WI’HSGOI’WSGZIHSI

“if only you'd been smart enough to kill the girl, too...”

wow

...what the fuck

well that was... interesting.

i cant even celebrate Phoenix congratulating Apollo, I'm just so tired

there are like 85 sarcastic remarks i could make but I'm just so exhausted

yay we got the orb

dootdootdoot dootdootdoot

even the judge doesnt want to have anything more to do with this.

im right there with ya judgey

“All I can say is, thats my boy!”

NO, YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM PARENTAL PRIDE OF THIS KID

HES NOT YOUR BOY

YOU BARELY RAISED HIM

GO HOME AND DO YOUR SHITTY COUP

“Still, its kinda nice to be appreciated”

if only you actually were, Apollo

yeah, thought so... ill bet they dont even channel her. cop out.

“tsk, thats no fun” indeed, trucy

i love how nobodys like “OK WHERE’S MAYA??? IS SHE OK???”

its fine her whereabouts are unknown and the last info on her was just that her life was in danger

pfffff

its alright, Armie has a place at the WAO

"i knew if i admitted i could walk, id have to leave the house”

uh honey newsflash: you can leave the house in a wheelchair too. I'm pretty sure your dad would let you stay inside anyway

christ how fucking corny can you get. I CAN WALK AGAIN. why dont we just have Tiny Tim in here throwing away his crutch and dancing a fucking jig

see, there we are. Maya’s still in danger you fuck wits.

and part one is over, folks! i am pooped. and furious.

till next time.

#sulking over SOJ #im so.... i #this fucking game good christ this fucking game

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silverscreenclassics2016 · 5 years ago

Text

by Paul Batters

Part Two continues with the wonderful, personal stories of how our featured writers came to discover and love classic film.

Maddy

Blog: Maddy Loves Her Classic Films Twitter: @TimeForAFilm

I grew up in the 1990’s and was brought up on the animated Disney films such as Bambi and The Hunchback Of Notre Dame. I was very into dance when I was little and my parents bought me the documentary That’s Dancing (1985). That introduced me to so many classic era actors and films. It especially got me interested in Fred and Ginger, The Nicholas Brothers, Gene Kelly and Eleanor Powell. I started to seek out many of their films as I grew up.

If I had to pick one film in particular that made me fall in love with this era of filmmaking, then it would have to be Top Hat. It was the first b&w film I saw and I loved everything about it – from the characters and the dancing, to the stunning sets and beautiful costumes. This girl was hooked! In my teens I discovered Alfred Hitchcock. His films made me a classic film fan for life. They were what first made me aware of the language of cinema and got me interested in how films were made. Rear Window was the first I saw and I remember eagerly returning to the Library every weekend to borrow more of his films.

Theresa Brown

Blog: CineMaven’s Essays From the Couch Twitter: @CineMava

I would need to go into some type of hydro~therapy, deep dark hypnosis to pull the memory of what film led me into loving classic films; and also to get into my past life as Cleopatra. My parents told me I used to run into the living room and stand in front of the tv set during commercials. Commercials, for heaven’s sake!! Were they bite-sized movies for the tiny Baby Boomer I was? It’s hard for me to say just what film set me on this path of being a classic movie buff. My mom took us to practically ev’ry Disney movie back in the 1950’s. American TV of the 60’s and 70’s threw away a lot of “old movies” and I was up all hours of the night trying to get my fill. Maybe seeing these films was a way to connect to my father and aunt with movies they grew up seeing on the big screen. For my 16th birthday my father gave me my first movie book: on Bogart films. Cinemabilia was a NYC book store I got lost in for hours. Classic films are just in my DNA.

Aurora

Blog: Once Upon a Screen Twitter: @CitizenScreen

I arrived in the United States from Cuba at the age of five and immediately fell in love with movies. We were given a secondhand television set where one day I happened upon Delmer Daves’ Dark Passage. The unique point of view sequence at the onset of the movie fascinated me even then. I longed to see the face that peered out at the dark, grim world. I have loved film noir ever since. The only other genre that competes is the musical; it is what truly made my imagination soar. I remember vividly seeing On the Town and marvelling at the notion that my father had brought me to a place where people danced on the street. We lived in a crowded New York City apartment. I remember too wishing that my family were just like the Smiths in Meet Me in St. Louis. Alas, there are too many of those moments to recount, too many ways the movies made me who I am. It is to those days, when I knew no one outside my family, when those characters were as real as any person I had ever met, that I owe my love of movies.

Robert Short – Writer

Having been a fan of classic films for over fifty years now, I find it difficult to ascribe any specific movie as the pivotal film that inspired my love of the golden era of filmdom. During the 1960’s and 1970’s, the decades in which I chiefly grew up, the cinematic offerings from the 1930’s and 1940’s were the general fodder of movie viewing on television; I undoubtedly saw many from a very young age. I can say with greater certainty that I had developed a conscious interest in “old movies”, a relative term, by the age of twelve or thirteen. Perhaps the interest grew organically; perhaps it was a moment of epiphany.

Again, while I cannot pinpoint any definitive “watershed” title, there is possibly one film of note which served as a cornerstone in my movie-watching career. “Juarez” marked my first “late show”, the late-night movies that I was finally permitted to watch after beginning high school in September 1969. A typically lavish production from Warner Bros., and another quality contribution from 1939, the film was immensely entertaining, albeit often historically inaccurate. Admittedly, the fact that “Juarez” was my introduction to the venerable institution of the late show, now gone by the wayside in the wake of our modern digital era, may seem very trivial and unimportant. However, the late show itself was once the chief means to watch classic films; through it my access to many wonderful movies was greatly expanded.

Amanda Garrett

Blog: Old Hollywood Films Twitter: @oldhollywood21

My lifelong love of affair with classic movies began when I stumbled across director John Ford’s Western Stagecoach (1939) on PBS when I was in grade school. It soon became my favourite movie mostly because I wanted to be BFFs with Doc Boone played by Thomas Mitchell (I didn’t understand that what I thought was very funny behaviour was caused by alcohol), and I secretly wanted to be Andy Devine mostly because I thought driving a stagecoach seemed like a cool job. I’ve watched Stagecoach dozens of times since then, and while I’ve given up my ambition of being a stagecoach driver, I still find the film a rewarding experience all these years later. There are several reasons for this including the masterful plot, which Ford unfolds with clockwork precision, and the roster of great character actors. Most of all, I return to Stagecoach because of Ford. The gruff director despised being called an artist or even worse an auteur, but the truth is he was both. Ford’s fluid camera work makes Stagecoach poetry in motion, and he would return to the theme of one man’s quest for justice throughout his career.

Name: Jay

Blog: Cinema Essentials Twitter: @CineEssentials

Although I grew up watching classic films, most were colour films from the 1950s and 1960s. If there was one film that overcame my childhood resistance to black and white, then it was Green for Danger. It’s a brilliant comedy-thriller that plays with the conventions of the murder mystery genre.

Alastair Sim plays an eccentric detective sent to investigate a series of suspicious deaths at a hospital, where he finds a range of suspects. Sim is unquestionably the star of the show, but there are many good supporting performances, from Trevor Howard, Sally Gray, Leo Genn, Megs Jenkins and Rosamund John.

The film was made by Sidney Gilliat, who co-wrote The Lady Vanishes and its spiritual successor Night Train to Munich. That gives you an idea of the sort of humour and playful tone of the film, which are mixed with a bit of tension and an intriguing mystery.

I first saw Green for Danger when I was 7 or 8. I’ve seen it numerous times since, but I usually forget who the murderer is, because it’s the performances and characterisations that make it irresistible. And the film is so entertaining anyway, that it doesn’t really matter if you remember the solution or not.

Margot Shelby

Blog: Down These Mean Streets

It’s hard to say exactly when, how and why I became a classic film fan. Neither my parents nor my grandparents were interested so I discovered them myself. I was probably around five and I assume some classic film came on TV and I was hooked. I loved history (still do) and somehow old movies were like a history lesson, a window into another world. Something just clicked. I wish I could remember what the first movie was that really left an impression on me, but I really can’t.

I’m so jealous of the people who had friends and family who also like classic films.

Unfortunately I had nobody I could share my love of classic films with. My friends weren’t interested either, everybody was just shaking their heads about my obsession.

Well thankfully nowadays we have the internet and yes, there are other people like me out there. I’m not a freak! Good to know. 🙂

Carol

Blog: The Old Hollywood Garden

I created The Old Hollywood Garden because I wanted to express my love for the classics. I wanted to make people want to watch them, and I wanted to share my undying fascination with Hollywood’s Golden Age with the world.

I became a classic movie buff after viewing my very first classic movie which was Gilda (Charles Vidor, 1946). All the way back in 2007 when I was fifteen years old. I was flipping through the channels, and I stumbled upon it on an retrospective type of channel which shows old films and TV shows. Its black and white cinematography caught my attention straight-away and I put the remote down and watched it. I had no doubt in my mind this would be the start of something great for me and I couldn’t wait for it. I was barely half way through it and I already knew that I wanted to consume as many of these wonderful movies as possible. I was mesmerized by Rita Hayworth – who isn’t? – and I loved the love-hate relationship between Gilda and Johnny (Glenn Ford). It was hot. It was exciting. It was a masterclass in screen chemistry. Years later, I still think it’s the sexiest movie ever made.

I was drawn in by them mostly, but right from the start, I thought Gilda was so fascinating. Johnny’s voice-over narration in the beginning (‘To me, a dollar was a dollar in any language…’) was everything I’d imagined these things to be. Great lines, no non-sense attitude; straight-up cool. The plot was interesting enough – small-time gambler Johnny is hired by Ballin Mundson (George Macready) to work in his casino, not knowing Ballin’s wife is his ex-lover Gilda – and the performances were fantastic. Especially Rita Hayworth’s. Her most iconic role was also her greatest. A flawed character, multi-layered and yet mysterious. Confident and yet vulnerable. A sort of anti-heroine that no doubt paved the way for many female characters that followed it. It is still one of my favourite performances of all time and the reason I couldn’t take my eyes off Gilda the first time I saw it. A ‘femme fatale’, I later read. I was transfixed by this. Film noir was intriguing.

Years later, of course, I realised that Gilda isn’t quite a film noir (noir melodrama?) and Gilda isn’t really a femme fatale. Not in the traditional sense anyway. Looking back, Gilda was ahead of her time, in many ways. But back then, I just knew that this was endlessly fascinating. I had to watch more of these. So many more. I had to watch more stuff with Rita Hayworth in it. And Glenn Ford. I had to watch all of these films noirs. And the screwballs and the Pre-Codes. And the musicals! I had to watch all the Golden Age of Hollywood had to offer. Needless to say, I’ve been doing just that for twelve years and it has been absolutely blissful.

Editorial use only. No book cover usage. Mandatory Credit: Photo by Columbia/Kobal/Shutterstock (5886203bk) Rita Hayworth Gilda – 1946 Director: Charles Vidor Columbia Lobby Card/Poster

It’s been an absolute honour to share the memories and feelings that classic film fans have about the films that matter to them and the experience of discovering classic film. The beauty is that those feelings do not go away but grow and flourish, as the journey continues and as we all discover and re-discover the films we have come to love. But it is also a wonderful thing to connect with classic film fans from around the world and share those experiences.

It has been an honour to share these contributions and my personal thanks to all who have contributed.

The Films That Brought Us To Love Classic Film – Part Two by Paul Batters Part Two continues with the wonderful, personal stories of how our featured writers came to discover and love classic film.

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