#i love talking abt hir

[fabledivine]

🍅🍑🌱🥐 for Teuthis!

🍅 How misunderstood is your OC? In-universe or IRL. - i wouldn't say misunderstood, but i would say that ze confuses people. ze isn't always clear on why he's doing something-- i think generally he's just not the most communicative. things usually make sense After ze's done them. if that makes sense 🍑 How do they show their kindness? How kind are they truly? - genuinely very kind!! i will say that this doesn't mean he's physically soft or weak. teuthis could hurt a lot more than a fly, and he has, but he would also never go out of hir way to do that. and this will make sense later when i can get into more world ( + creature) building but ze comes from a family of ranchers, and has some fairly particular views stemming from that background. 🌱 What new passions/hates is your OC discovering? - he's finding himself hating some human foods, unfortunately. he can't digest a good amount of it properly!! he eats what's on his planet (this is a pescatarian-leaning diet, although they have something dairy-adjacent that doesn't come from anything that can walk on land, as well as fruits and veggies) and adapted food when off-planet. 🥐 Where is your OC from? How do they feel about their homeland? Where are they now? - he lives on a waterworld!! it has a code name for ID which other species with spacefaring capabilities use, but of course that's not what they call it on-planet. (i've yet to come up with a good name D:). but he loves it!! there's nothing not to love about it. it's home <:) currently ze's still there. . . but he might not be forever . . .

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

AHEM. do you love @mcytblrconfessions (unaffiliated)? do you get sad when they turn their asks off? do you wish that said blog was run by a system who is mostly mcyt fictives for some reason? well too bad for you about that last one.

THIS IS THE BLOG WHERE ALL OF THAT IS REAL! why is this evil? i dont fucking know; it just is. send in all of your confessions (vaguely) related to mcyt! honestly if you send in something completely unrelated but we find it funny well still post it bcs idk why not. there is nothing stopping us.

we are your host cedar (probably pronounced like cheddar?) and welcome to the evil mcytblrconfessions blog! for the sake of clarity, we are a plural system. this is not too important, but it may be referenced!

actually important stuff:

- we do polls now apparently. add the 🗳️ emoji to your ask and what the question + options are, and a poll will appear!

- this blogs asks will be open WHENEVER mcytblrconfessions asks are closed. no matter how many asks we have in the inbox. theyll be thrown in queue and answered whenever.

- this blog is only evil because its funny! please do not be a deplorable person! do not send in things such as: too discourse-y, nsfw, drama/ragebaiting, being a fucking weirdo. just. yeah, use common sense please <3 there is non-zero chance that we will just block you <3 we reserve the right to not post any confessions we dont want to!

- PLEASE mention at least once the thing/person youre talking abt so we can tag it correctly! this doesnt rly apply to duo names or ships, youre fine just mentioning their names and well tag the proper group or ship. this applies to ccs and series. we dont know which blorbo or series youre talking abt unless you SPECIFY! even if weve demonstrably shown that we know what the thing is, SPECIFY! we are not telepathic yet. (does not apply to being intentionally ominous/vague.)

- yes thats a squishmallow in the pfp; hir name is éloïse. we love hir.

[librarycards]

hi, do you have any readings you would recommend abt being agender/genderless/etc? broad topic i know, but i found myself really resonating with how you talk about genderlessness and would love to do some further reading on the subject!

i have a few! I wrote this piece for AZE journal, which centers ace/aro/agender work. While I don't identify "as" agender –– my decision to be genderless mirrors, I know now, others' decisions to be loveless, heartless, and use these as deliberate forms of self-description: to look not only at specific identities but conceptual frameworks and say "no."

I believe I first heard the term "genderless" on one of Mel Baggs's (z"l) blogs; Mel's identification with it was in part related to hir ambivalence toward humanness. Sie spent a great deal of time advocating for hir humanity –– hir personhood –– yet was critically aware of the irreducible violence of the category (and the gendered signifiers it carried with it). Sie used it as a way to articulate the conflict between hir life-preserving advocacy and hir distaste for its carceral limits.

I also recommend exploring loveless community tags on here. In my piece, I cite @acearolibrary's brief history of these spaces, but there's been plenty of work since I wrote it, too. I also think voidpunk –– with which I casually identify, though it's one of those things that I don't read or participate a lot in –– is a great space to explore the politics of identity with/as refusal.

In terms of books, I recommend reading Sara Ahmed's work, especially Willful Subjects. Ahmed is highly interested not only in refusal as absence, but as *inconvenient* presence: to call oneself genderless is, in my experience, the creation of a pause. A problem. A surprise, at the very least. It is unusual because it is a willful & willing choice of lack/absence. It does the "killjoy" work Ahmed describes at length throughout her oeuvre and on her superb blog.

Black on Both Sides by C. Riley Snortion explores the racialization –– the Blackness, specifically –– of the renunciation of legible gender, and the relationship between fungibility –– the reduction of persons to chattel able to be exchanged for money and objects –– and fugitive/ambiguous gender. This, as well as Hortense Spillers's seminal work, Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe, is absolutely required reading for everyone exploring genderlessness/gender-noncompliance, especially white people.

hope this helps!

[the-uraniumverse]

some Sam lore (+ some art!!) while i cook up the new OC (hes comin I swear 🙏🙏)

-Her friend (previously unamed) from back home was called Aigéan, the Irish for Ocean, which is one of the reasons she dislikes her so much

-Me and @lemontrance have been talking abt how Sam was destined to find out what Gåbonn (or as she knows hin, Grayson) is, and was constantly trying to figure it out. So on the cyclone, she was sat beside hin and was focused only on hin and hirs beanie, so she didnt notice that they were actually falling off the rails until they were about to hit the ground, so she didnt even know she was dying

-She had plans to move to somewhere like California for better opportunities one day and had a whole mood board and everything for it (she put pictures all over a wheelie whitebaord she probably stole) which was left standing in her room with the words "California (or wherever she was planning to go, its yet to be decided), coming 1 Oct!!"

-Mischa uploaded a video to his youtube titled "girl eats entire rotisserie chicken in under two minutes" and its 1 min 30secs of Sam fucking devouring an entire chicken with Ocean looking terrified/horrified in the background

Anyway enjoy some art >:3

(the one with Bill is kindly brought to us by @lemontrance)

dude that video would go viral (at least in uraniumverse) LMAOO

sam is so silly we love her

also more gåbonn lore? yes please

[77ngiez-archive]

pinned 💛💥

nana, he/him + ze/hir + more. dangan + fangan + vocaloid + prsk + omori + yttd + hamlet + pafl fan. rb sideblog is @77ngiez-rbs. my url is pronounced "nanangiez". mutuals feel free to ask for my discord and/or my personal blog!!!

spam likes/rbs, art requests, and sprite edit requests are always ok! i block freely so dont get too offended

NO they/them for me. ever. pls dont dm me unless we’re mutuals, but feel free to send asks! mutuals feel free to send posts and/or ask for priv blog, disc, etc.

full disclosure, i am mormon. my religion is not a cult and i will not interact with anyone who believes such. i do not need to be argued out of my religion. however i love talking about it! it brings me a lot of joy! it's a special interest in fact! i can be trusted to talk abt my personal theology :3 come closer :3 (i also hc a lot of characters as mormon, and have a yttd mormon au! lol)

i need content of hajime hinata and izuru kamukura as the same person tagged as "nana dont look". i have sunburn, kelbrey, and ransara tags blocked, but if you post any of those untagged with their ship name i'd appreciate those getting my dont look tag as well!

keep in mind that i’m fictionkin of sanya kazarina, sunny omori, sora sdra2, sara chidouin, jay merrick, and hajime hinata! this effects the way i participate in fandom and view popular ships/theories/etc. if any of my behavior regarding one of these sources or characters seems weird, me being fictionkin is probably why. [i’m always down to talk to sourcemates 👀]

my political stances are listed on my carrd!

my previous url was fukanamis!!

[rollercoasterwords]

13, 17 and 4!!! : ^ D

hi ridi <3 <3 <3

4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

yes!! had encountered leslie feinberg in the past but this year was the first time i actually sat down + read some of hir books <3 also found a couple poets whose work i really loved - franny choi, natalie diaz, alice notley...& a bunch of korean authors w books i really enjoyed - bora chung, lee ki-ho, young-ha kim, cho nam-joo. also really enjoyed marquis bey's cistem failure & of course my beloved lindsey drager w the archive of alternate endings <3

13. What were your least favorite books of the year?

wranglestone by darren charlton & bad feminist by roxane gay :| wranglestone just kinda sucked generally but was especially disappointing bc i was v excited 2 read gay zombie apocalypse novel...a let-down. + i've talked abt why i disliked bad feminist before on this blog so won't give the full rundown but. just found many aspects of it politically noxious...

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

the archive of alternate endings <3 been a long time since i've added a new book 2 my faves-of-all-time list like i was expecting it 2 be good but was shocked by how much i loved it <3 <3

end of year book ask game

[mangxakorado]

✴️ michele/a ∆ ze/hir + xe/xyr but honestly anything works ✴️ agnostic animist creating my own faith. url explained here ∆ eshrine & helpol blog & substack <3 ✴️ i love talking abt religion/spirituality/philosophy!!! i plan to attend an interfaith chaplaincy & provide spiritual direction for queer folks (& others) :] ∆ "Forgive you? Of course. As I forgive the night, the day, and all the stars."

[taketheringtolohac]

also currently rlly sad I can’t rlly talk abt one of my favorite ttrpg characters bc sie was like. Someone who I would literally kill irl and is like literally one of the most insufferable ppl but also as a character and a transgender player was so funny to play. ask me abt holmes in my dms but don’t actually bc sie is quite literally my most problematic character ever. i love hir.

[k9specibus]

moght swerve bend that corner woahoh bitch hold on tight might tweak in this bitch lettin shit go ( im tweaking yet again )

i thiught i was ok now im very firmly back im tweaker camp and I DONT LIKE THIS. I FEEL SO. TERRIBLE. BECAUSE HE IS LITERALLYBJUST EXISTING HE IS SUCH A LOVELY BEING TO BE AROUND SND HE ATTRACTIONS JOU AND HAPPINESS AND LOVE WHERVER HE GOES SO IT IS COMPLETELY NATURAL FOR HIM TO FIND PEOPLE THAT LIKE HJM AND. ouh my god i feel like absolute SHIT i want to be able to heat about this guy without like a fucking pang of jealousy running thru me and i literally cannot

it's literally just this guy too. never had this issue w his gf of heartmatr it is quite literally just this one guy

nothing against the guy of course he seems so nice and cool and i am afriad of him slightly. but thats ok. i think

IDK. IM TWEAKING. I HATE THIS. i wish i could be normal about it but wvery time shi talkes abt angel its like my brain goes "yeah so byw he hates u and is bulding a bomb for my mailbox. also he doesnt like u and thinks u are ugky and also doesnt waht yo be qp anymore kys" AND I KNOW THATS NOT TRUE I KNOW THATS NOT TEUW I KNOW HE CARES ABOUT ME BUT. THE FUCKING DEMONS DUDE

idk if this is reflective of a deeper thing im like 95% sure i do not have romantic feelings towards him??? like i guess i would date him if he asked but like i am happy being queerplatonic and i feel like that describes my feelinsg more than anything else so. ifk why i feel like this i have literally never felt like this regarding a wueerplatonic oartner ever and i hate it

i hate how getting a msg from him LITERALLY MAKES ME MSILE SND GIGFLE WND STIM I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT i hate how when he says i am pretty my face gets wwarm i don't like feeling like this because it always leads to me getting jealous amd them i end up being mean and i hate being mean i dont want to be mean to hir because shinis so sweet and i care abt hir sm and he is such a lovely person and i just want to make him hapoy amd have fun together

i must be killed surely this is the answer. someone blow me up

[time-is-restored]

this past week i've just been straining thursday!piper in a colander trying to make her presentable for company again. i think ive mostly succeeded (she has been doing nothing but sleeping off the insane adrenaline + anxiety spike -> crash roller-coaster from last session) but now im feeling all mushy abt her again

(spoiler warning sort of if any thursdaysmp gamers are reading this since im talking abt mindset/plans for next session LOL)

cause it's like. after she found out that thaya didn't have a real plan for escape + they were all just as trapped as they've been this whole time, she mostly gave up. she believed that her friends were going to be Imminently Murdered and that she'd just done the worst fucking thing in the world for absolutely no reason.

HOWEVER the tiny piece of agency she still had (i can try and give dot some closure, and i can be a meat shield to buy my friends more time) pulled her partially OUT of that pit. death was still imminent, but the life they all had left was still worth something, still meant something despite being so fragile + ephemeral.

this is also where she started to let go of the idea that she was uniquely responsible for everything wrong with the server, and could've saved everyone if she just Thought Better and was smarter + braver etc etc. lynx's 'you do what you can' helped her rationalise her objective to 'i can make sure my friends are as okay as possible for however long we have left' . as compared to the soul crushing responsibility of getting everyone out alive.

but then. The Cycle. she had only been able to accept dot's theoretical death as something that dot knew was coming + that they were together for (i.e: a willow execution). having it happen so jarringly and pointlessly triggered the shit out of her all over again: why did she waste their last day together being stressed about a pointless task; why didn't she push for a task strike (which might have saved at least two people's lives); why didn't she realise the cloud was snow and warn everyone; why didn't she tell thaya to get fucked and keep redoing the water at the bottom. only seeing her own responsibility + failings rather than accepting that she was never going to be able to control how/when dot died, just as she was never going to be able to control anyone else's life + death.

then it all got doubled and then tripled when she failed to bargain for PB's life (once again demonstrating how pointless spending all that time placating willow was), and failed to either talk zero down or protect hir from vigil. so now she's lived the longest out of all the candy crew, when the amount of mistakes she's made + amount of times she's failed them all means she can't possibly deserve it.

the only seed that survived that total implosion of everything she cares about was that last remaining kernel of 'i owe everything to the candy crew'. which is why she all but ordered corn to order her to keep living. she has to keep that promise, since she failed to keep any others.

SO. given that she's just had to sit in the ruins of everything + (almost!) everyone she loved with nothing to think about but how willow's going to kill them all next, she's landed on something that at least bears a passing resemblance to acceptance. she got her hopes up too high, thinking she could stay with dot. thinking that any of them had any time left. they have no agency, they have one (1) choice (whether they do the tasks or not), and they have no chance of escape or survival.

but with that all being 'accepted' (ie: grieved and grieved and grieved and grieved-). what little can she do for the dead players who she owes so much to? they deserve to be remembered (just like she thought the players from the previous game did, with the new exception of willow.), but as who they really were. not who the game and the border and the fear twisted them into. so: graves, and journals for each of them, and the pockets of happiness piper remembers.

the graves may not survive for more than a session; willow might burn the journals just because she can. but if she can inscribe into the server this one piece of meaning, even for just a minute, then she has to try: 'there were people who lived here, and that was beautiful. nothing that followed since can take away from that fundamental truth.'

[another-apathetic-epitaph]

pinned

hi my name is nana this is my fictionkin sideblog. my main is @77ngiez. im a minor and i use he/him and ze/hir pronouns. i hate proshippers radqueers and zionists but im cool w everybody else. i love sourcemates mwah mwah

high kins

sanya kazarina [main kintype, im almost always in a sanya shift]

sara chidouin

mizuki akiyama [psychological kin but im down to chat w souremates]

med kins

sora sdra2

jay merrick 👎

sunny omori

hajime hinata

low kins

ashlyn banner

makoto naegi

other [somewhere between the lines of kff, copinglink, and psychological kin]

saki tenma

i love talking about my kintypes. if you ask me about my memories i will smooch you on the mouth /p. i also have a playlist for sanya and im working on making playlists for my other kintypes, feel free to ask abt those bcs i fucking love music

my tagging system is basically i will tag anything from a source i kin from as the character i kin. so if i rb something from pafl its tagged sanya regardless of whether or not sanyas in the image. is this confusing?yes. do i care? not really

[girldickdotcom]

if we wanna talk abt other artists lets talk abt this. loras monologue is CRAZY and the body feature <3 i love raw screaming

[ayvepeedee]

entry seven I forgor

never trust someone with a dissociative disorder to remember .

umm idk when i last updated this but i Think it was like sept oct soooo uh update, i have a TUMOR and its most likely not but COULD be cancer ummm and still with the gf, after the update ill talk abt current events that relates to hir currently, ummm im failing 4 classes and ive officially decided on my major/career but not in my college! i have however been contemplating going to canada!!! umm im besties with my friend aki i bought her and my gf and i lethal company and thats been a recent

uhhhh RECENTS! OF TODAY/LATELY

i have been pretty like mentally exhausted and exhausted in general! im barely passing classes and the ones i am are guaranteed passing cause its music and Woodshop. Fuck woodshop hope it dies! i talked to my doctor i was on birth control for periods and she recommended i stay off until i talk to a surgeon to have SURGERY and what they decide dictates if i still should but ive been put onnnnnnnum nausea meds and migraine meds !

uhhh abt my gf stuff, specifically today

shi has been feeling weird lately and today was like that kinda breaking point, shi has someone in front that manages episodes (mania depressive ect) nd shi thinks something bad is gonna happen soon and i feel bad cause i feel like shi should be happy cause shi deserves it all! i know that doesnt just happen but shi deserves to be happy shis been thru a lot and i care about hir!!!! so i let hir know once shi was sleeping that shi can talk to me about stuff, or shi doesnt have to! cause talking to an app with a bunch of people that are unbiased and dont know you va your boyfriend biased and knows you is different! and i get how shi might want both, one or the other, or neither maybe! but i still want hir to know im there and that i care!

gf stuff, not just today

lately shis been tiring me and doing things shi wants to do and like when im not interested in things i dont wanna be mean about it just Don't wanna do it and i don't want hir to think i dont care cause i do i just don't wanna do it myself when shi could do it when its something shis talking to me about but also last time we talked about something together i said hey i need reassurance a lot and shi did it twice and hasn't done it again and i just don't like feel like that easy i need that reassurance helllooooo tumblr user ayvepeedee here !!!! and shis my safe person but its like ill always overthink that'll never change !!!!

i was in a call with my gf and aki for 500 HOURS can you believe that! it was SO DRAINING but it was really fun! it made me sad when they'd hang without me cause id be at school or i was tired but they were nice to be around! theyre my besties i love them

i.ummm have missed A Bit of school causeof my doctor stuff! and im gonna keep doing that :( like if i end up getting surgery for my tumor it'll probably be in a school day and thats likr at least a day or two or more of rest cause like my tumors in my boob and i have to be REALLY careful in that area rn and after surgery it'll be extra sensitive for a while and im kinda a rough person so ive been less rough but like ACK! IM LIKE ZONING OUT WHILE WRITING THIS IS ENOUGH BYYYEEEE!!!! :3

[cowboyhorsegirl]

not to brag or anything but I’m playing my first D&D campaign & my character’s hockey stick turns into a katana and hi goes by hi/hir/hirs pronouns & hir name is Cincinnati but hi goes by Cin btw if any of you even care

[seafoam-taide]

there are some people who i just want to like. drag the stories out of. just wanna sit and listen to them tell me every detail abt what theyve got going on with ocs or whatnot. sooo fucking curious im dying

[haunthouse]

hi blaseball fans today i’m thinking about teddy holloway