#i love one (1) boy and anytime someone posts about him i go feral

[yandere-daydreams]

❤️❤️❤️

Yandere! Lio Fotia Headcanons

♡ ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴛʏᴘᴇ 

Lio is a normal lover, a lucid-reluctant “yandere” for the majority of the time his darling has the pleasure of knowing him… at least, until his anger and pain gets the better of him and he snaps. He’d become a manipulative-protective, especially when under duress. His normally collected mask would break apart if he lost his darling, Gueira, or Meis. How many lives has he seen thrown away already? How much pain has it wrought him, how many tears has he seen family members shed over their loved ones, how many minds has he seen shatter and crumble before him? Losing his friends is one thing, he already feels so much helplessness and hatred – but he can’t lose his darling too, especially with the Foundation prowling to find helpless Burnish or Burnish sympathizers…

Before he snaps, Lio is well aware that he shouldn’t be feeling this way. He knows how easily his emotions can get the better of him when the lives of his loved ones or people are in danger – he’s seen so much death and destruction that he’s always on the brink of falling apart. Still, he’s wise beyond his years, able to discern what is right from what is wrong; he’d never hurt his darling intentionally. 

Snapping… is another story, especially when it comes to hurting his darling. His emotions run wild, particularly his anger and pain, and make him far more unstable. He would still never intentionally hurt his darling, but he’s suffered so much unchecked pain and witnessed so many deaths that it’ll simmer over and burn those in his path, even his lover. He apologizes profusely afterward, but healing their wounds with his flames only does so much when he caused them in the first place…

♡ ʜɪs ʟᴏᴠᴇ

Lio expects his darling to take care of themselves, especially if they are Burnish. He wouldn’t have Guiera or Meis leave their positions by his side just to protect his darling, but he does have several non-combatant Burnish keep an eye on his darling should they see darling wandering about. Of course this doesn’t last long, not when he snaps; Lio isn’t fond of not having control, of not knowing where his people are at all times. While he can’t abandon his post as the Mad Burnish leader just to keep an eye on his lover, he isn’t above having his able-bodied people spy on his darling – or outright confining his darling someplace safe.

It’s unlikely that Lio would fall for a non-Burnish. As the leader of Mad Burnish, Lio is an idol among abused and battered Burnish everywhere. He has an image to maintain; how would his people feel if their leader fell in love with a non-Burnish knowing full well how horribly their kind has treated Lio’s people? After how much they’ve have let Burnish starve, wither, perish, and suffer without raising a hand to help? Still… Lio isn’t a fool. Just like he takes pride in the fact that Burnish don’t kill without necessity – even if they may have every reason to take revenge on those that hurt them. Lio knows that love comes naturally, unexpectedly, and he wouldn’t shame or disgrace his darling if they happen to be a normal human being. In fact, if they can understand and sympathize with his pain, all the better, because heaven only knows how much pain his body carries for the sake of his people. He only fears his flames will consume his darling, too.

Whether his darling is Burnish or not, Lio makes it a point to train them in combat. It could be something as simple as basic first aid knowledge or how to properly disarm an attacked, but a Burnish darling would give Lio the peace of mind of knowing that darling can control their flames well enough to hurt an assailant and escape – or even manifest Burnish armor to protect themselves with. Guiera and Meis will prove to be very useful in this regard because while Lio is planning or handling other matters, they can train darling in his place. He knows they’d never do anything to harm darling or try to steal them away from him, and they’re very capable of protecting and training darling in his place.

Regardless of his darling’s usefulness, he isn’t one to give up on anyone, especially his own lover. He understands fighting or simply associating with fighting, and the death that comes with it, isn’t for everyone. Lio is kind to humans and Burnish alike, unlike the Foundation which treats both like disposable pawns; no matter what, Lio would never give up on his darling – and in a sense, this means they can never escape him, nor can he escape them.

Lio is fragile despite how he may appear. He’s charismatic and a born-leader, but he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, never showing weakness or malice for his fate. But this only makes his vulnerability more fragile and unstable… and his darling would be the only one to see him in such a state. He hates putting such stress on them, especially when he prides himself on being a collected and capable leader, but his darling is the only one he can show such a broken side to. They are his light, his eternal flame that cools his body from the promare that reigns within. Everyone relies on him, and he relies on his darling.

♡ ᴇxᴛʀᴀ

Lio is quite fond of calling his darling pet names, usually personalized nicknames like “my little flame” and “little spitfire”. Though sometimes, especially when he’s moody, he’ll fall back on regular pet names – “my love”, “darling”, “dear”, and “beloved” – because they make him feel normal again, as if he wasn’t constantly on the run, as if the lives of millions of Burnish didn’t rely on him.

Unlike most manipulative yanderes, Lio doesn’t mean to be manipulative. He is by far one of the most emotional yanderes; he feels things strongly, often to the point of losing control on his temper. He’s not afraid to cry, especially in front of his darling if it’ll make them stay by his side. He always feels guilty for doing so, but he understands that this world is cruel and favors those who know how to get what they want.

[canirim]

God I forgot I made this post and left it unposted so anyway, this was me screaming right after watching All of Us are Dead .

.

SO yeah I just spent the night binge watching All of Us are Dead and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

spoilers under this cut, don’t say I didn’t warn ya

I really just loved how every character was brought into the story and how they reacted. Even the ones with less screen time and back stories are interesting and the actors where just amazing. Also, the actors that played the hybrids (nam-ra, eun ji  and gwi nam) where SO GOOD - and also the makeup and special effects team, 10/10 great job.

I HATE WHEN THEY MAKE A DECENT TEACHER CHARACTER AND KILL THEM OFF Mrs. Park Seon ily

I absolutely love On-jo and how brave she is, and the fact that even though there was jealousy with Nam-ra involved bc of a romantic interest, she never once tried something cruel or spiteful. LOVE IT - ALSO NAM-RA love her "lack" of expression in many scenes, the actress worked very well. -go girl give us nothing /j- STILL on Nam-ra, I really like her! And I love her romance with Hyeok.  WHICH I HAVE TO SAY, Hyeok became my favorite from the moment he just....he just fucking did that thing where you kick a wall to jump higher and then kicked a zombie right in the face??? insane - love absolutely crazy people fighting zombies with kicks and punches like?????????? I would never I would simply cease to exist really I have no idea how people would stay motivated on being alive during shit like that - the moment I realized my family and friends where dead I would 100% just die that is if I didn't die sooner bc - ZOMBIES MORE ZOOMBIES amiright they run so fucking fast I would be dead in seconds

okay back to the characters: Dae Soo is a blessing and I'm so glad he survived. The scene in the rooftop where they sing is just...THAT'S THE GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE!!! THAT'S WHAT HUMANITY IS ABOUT BABY!!!! CONNECTION!!! EVEN THROUGH HELL (also the actor is really cute without the character haircut so yeah Dae Soo is top 2 best boy in this series for me)

but talking about the top 1 Soo hyeok absolutely meet all the standards and AGAIN I LOVE HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH NAM-RA THEY ARE SO CUTE

now to the not happy screaming NA YEON WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK - LIKE I GET PANICKING LIKE JI MIN, who ran away when her friend needed help but YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING INFECTED SOMEONE *ON PURPOSE* AND FOR WHAT REASON?! BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS ANNOYING AND POOR???? WHAT THE F-  seriously I'm always in awe that people actually hate others for........not being born into wealthy families?? being poor?? like what the fuck but like YOU FUCKING MURDERED HIM and I really liked him - Gyeong was such a good friend...

WHICH ALSO BRINGS ME TO I knew this show was going to be good the moment where I cried in the second episode in I-sak's death. In just two episodes they managed to make me care and feel how this impacted the other characters - and I love the show for it. I've seen shows with whole ass seasons that didn't develop nor narrated the characters connections like they did.

also honestly Min Eun Ji just going feral about the school and everyone was a cathartic experience the whole scene where she put fire on the teacher's room, and later left the school on a bike in the middle of the road... not gonna lie my first thought was "ha must be nice being able to go anywhere anytime and not have to worry about men anymore"

[koobiie]

Do you have a top ten one piece characters?

:O!!! thank u for this ask, anon! time for another VERY LONG ANSWER!!!!!!

also. quick note. im very biased and dumb. so if youre wondering “why is x character listed when other x character isn’t” it’s bc im very stupid. anyways lets go!!!!!

1. luffy

literally no question. number one HAS  to be luffy. here’s the thing - i usually hate/don’t care about protagonists, because they’re always too perfect, or overshadowed by interesting side characters. but for some reason luffy is my number one fav!! he’s flawed! he’s fun! he’s a fucking KING!!!! so much love has been put into writing this guy! 

i could go more into depth about why luffy is The Ideal Main Character but this answer is already gonna be a mile long so i gotta move on lol

2. law

well. is anyone really surprised. the answer is of course not, everyone simps for law. here’s another character with a ton of love put into the writing!! hes got it all - baller backstory, slick design, cool personality, and also..... hes pretty

also anytime someone calls him traffy it takes me the FUCK out. im on the floor DEAD. what a cute nickname GOD

3. doflamingo

listen im not even that big of a fan of this guy but i gotta respect him as maybe the best written villain in all of one piece. i love his motivations, and again, oda knocked out of the fucking ballpark with the backstory!!! 

plus, you gotta respect an antagonist who commits to a Vibe and Aesthetic. in this case, doffy’s chosen aesthetic is Unhinged Florida White boy. he’s such a feral little bitch and its always fun to see him on screen. also his nickname is doffy. i fucking love it

ok from here on out it’s unordered because i can’t decide an order lol. its  astronomically hard for me to decide who to put over so honestly this is where the top 10 list stops, and now its just me listing characters who i think are neat

also, putting the rest under the cut because i love to ramble and don’t want to make the post too long

corazon - listen. Listen. listen. listen. i know he’s just sort of a throwaway character who died just to further law. but also................................ i care him so much... every day i curse oda for being such a talented character writer!!!!! FUCK!!! PUT ME IN DA ONE PIECE UNIVERSE I WOULDVE SAVED HIM

brook - honestly im putting brook on here cause i feel like he doesn’t tend to be peoples’ fav! i think he’s seen as more of a gag character, but NO!!!! HE’S A GOOD MAN!!! he has some huge mvp moments (WHOLE CAKE ISLAND?? HELLO???!!) and is genuinely such a nice guy!!

you also have to remember that he has like, one of the most heartbreaking backstories out of any of the op characters. he was stuck on that fucking ship for like?? 20 years?? ALONE??? AND STILL CHOOSES TO BE JOVIAL AND GRATEFUL FOR LIFE??? FUCK DUDE!!!! I LVOE YOU BROOK!!!!!!

usopp - i felt bad for not putting more strawhats on this list so here’s usopp! ill level with you. i wasn’t a big usopp fan for the LONGEST time. like, his intro arc in syrup village is kind of a slog, and then he doesn’t have any huge moments until w7/el. even then i was pretty neutral on him UNTIL dressrosa!!! and if you’ve read that arc, then you know what i’m talkinga bout lol. i think when i first read the “god usopp” stuff in the manga i literally got up out of my chair cause i was having such a good time lmao. now i respect usopp as the king he is!!!!!

fujitora - kind of a new guy, but i think fujitora has skyrocketed himself up to being my fav marine! he’s such a chill, honorable dude, but has a fucking disastrous df power. i also LOVE his concept of like “i blinded myself so i didn’t have to see the horrors of this world.” whenever i look at him im just like “you are my dad. youre my dad! boogie woogie woogie” 

perona - listen. i know she barely gets screentime. i know she doesnt do much. but shes a pink haired goth queen. i love you perona. i dont know why i like her so much, since i usually dislike the character archetype, but idfk!!!! she charmed me!!!! how does she do it!!! queen!!!!

ok im going to go over 10 characters lmao, i can’t decide who to cut from the list so here’s a lightning round of the last few :

kuma - i desperately wanna know more about this guy. and that One panel of him smiling when sabo is thinking about him makes me feel things. ODA IS HE OK??? ODA??? HELLO

katakuri - no one gave him permission to Buss It Out that hard during wci arc but he did

cavendish - LISTEN HES A DUMB LITTLE TWINK AND I LOVE HIM!! WHERE ARE THE CAVENDISH STANS AT!! FUCK

hawkins - hes a fucking weirdo and i love that. why do people even join his crew. he has 0 charisma. most of his powers dont even make sense. i love him.

[little-shiny-sharpies]

2, 5 and 12 with blitzwing 👀 and 7 for mccree! (@robotlover)

@selfshippinglover

Ok I'm gonna make a separate post for Mccree later bc theres a lot and I'm just gonna do a few with him. Thank y'all for waiting on this!

1) what’s a Hot Take you have about your f/o?

Blitzwing would absolutely hesitate to love someone because he has self esteem issues and everyone always throws that out the window when writing him in a romantic scenario. Only when he's the character that's gotta be uwu depressed and romanticizing it is anyone noticing that. This bot has gone through a horror show and he would feel like a burden to whoever he has feelings for because he's just the crazy triple changer that no one respects or likes.

2) on what do you disagree with other fans of your f/o?

Ok this is a bit lemony for my blog but Blitzwing isn't a sex crazed power top and y'all need to get that through your minds, he's Ace or Demi. Yes I'm projecting but I'm still right bc giant alien robots canon don't have that "equipment" boo me all you want I'm still right.

3) did you used to ship your f/o with anyone before realizing you wanted to ship them with yourself? 

No actually! I have honestly never actually like.. shipped characters that weren't cannon. I've rarely liked romance in media. I have faint memories of shipping Fluttercord though..

4) do you feel like you have to defend your f/o all the time? 

I feel like most folks project so much onto him theres nothing left but on the other end there's folks who just made the stupidest things of how he's an uwu feral boi and I wanna yell underwater. There are a few things I agree with fanon about but those are very few things.

5) what’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard about your f/o, either on the internet or irl? 

The dumbest thing I've seen in canon and fannon is that he's an idiot. That just doesn't make sense?? He's shown to be a really smart guy in his first episodes even getting Ratchet into a chokehold forcing the autobots into a standstill until Megs calls him off. (Idiot move there boi)

6) what are some tropes that fan art of your f/o tends to follow? 

That his "personalities" have separate bodies and bicker with each other. Which.. doesn't really make sense. If anything he'd be happy to have someone who understands him.

7) did your f/o deserve better?

He got used in an experiment that caused him severe psychological trauma and we don't even know if he was a willing patient. He was a deadly opponent in the first season that got nerfed into a henchman buffoon and shit talked anytime someone brought him up. My man was treated as a trophy in his final scenes to further the political career of an authoritarian xenophobic jerkwad. My mans deserved so much better..

8) do you even like the source your f/o comes from or do you only watch it for them & nothing else?

Oh I absolutely love Transformers animated!! It has such a unique personality compared to other iterations and it has the smartest megatron. Its also the show that got me into transformers (other than the first bay movies which I like much less)

9) do you distance yourself from other fans of your f/o or their source?

In the beginning? No. I was completely fine with all the weird fannon interpretation and ships (and we'll fucking get to that) but I didn't think about it. Nowadays I stay away from anybody that draws blitzwing because if I go to their blog to see more, it turns out they've got 20 other posts tagged as bli***ee or interact with those who do or don't bother tagging ns//fw things

10) how did you feel when you realized “oh of course i had to like That Character”?

(Ok so I didn't really understand this one so I kinda gave 2 answers)

It was when I realized that he had the same emotional issues as me. Having BPD and living with folks with BPD is quite a rollercoaster but I saw so much of me in blitzwing I just wanted to be his friend at first and chill and then the emotions got so much deeper and now I've made fankids and we're happily married ksjdaksj.

But when I realized that he had the traits of the 3 main tumblr sexymen I had a "oh no, people are gonna be weird about him aren't they?.." moment but my heart was set anyway.

11) do you think it’s better to have a copious amount of content for your f/o, even with the risk of finding a lot of ship art, or better to have a lot less?

Oh god this is a tricky one because either 1 when the art isn't a ship and just him he's looking sad or bored or he's insane and never a nice wholesome happy or 2 its ship art. So uh ima say quality over quantity.

12) aren’t you tired of being nice? this is an excuse to rant.

LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!! Listen. LISTEN. I get loving Blitzwing. I fully get it. I also understand having a childhood crush on Bumblebee. Because I had that, as a *child*. Because Bumblebee behaved like a child. Because as a child. I enjoyed his antics. See where I'm going here? It's not that I don't like seeing Blitzwing shipped with other characters! Its really not! It squicks me a bit but it's totally ok! It's the fact that it's with a character who's supposed to be a little brother to the bots and the same age as Sari! Really any ship with Bumblebee or Sari feels very fucking *Yikes*. Not to mention the fact that it's always painted Blitzwing as someone to be fixed, someone who needs to change who they are to fit the wants of someone who showed them the slightest iota of kindness that he's so desperate for and that said person is an irresponsible child that could rival Blue from Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, or it treats him like a beast that should be controlled by said child. It feels so ableist at best and pedophilia at worst and I'm so upset that more folks don't see it.

(Also want to add that the person who popularized the ship is known to draw porn of underage characters. Ya'll really love rose glasses to hide those red flags for the sake of "good" art huh?)

[datleggy]

I’m autistic and one of the things I have trouble with is change. I’ve watched 911 since the third episode and now they have a second one? Idk. I’ve been seeing a lot of good things about it but I’m not sure if I want to watch it. Basically what I want to know is if it’s worth watching. Is it good? Are there any parallels between the new one and the Buck one? Who are the characters and what are they like? Will you start writing for this series instead of the other one? %

so, this got WAY longer than i thought it would, sorry!!! TL;DR is at the very very end!

tbh i didn’t wanna really give 911 lonestar a chance originally, i was lowkey annoyed bc it felt like they were like “oh u guys want buck and eddie, who are CLEARLY meant to be and have all this canon chemistry and relationship development to eventually get together??? lol NOPE but here’s a spinoff where u get ur white/latino gay ship :D”

which i do genuinely hope to god isn’t the case, like, i really need OG 911 to be like PSYCH here u go, some DIAZ-BUCKLEY fam. as a treat.

i did end up watching it bc curiosity and too many awesome gifsets finally got to me lol

and im only a couple of episodes in (haven’t had a chance to watch the 3rd ep bc of work and other things D: ) and so far i gotta say, i like the OG 911 calls that they get sent to more than 911 lonestars calls but again, im only 2 ep in, maybe they get more “woah thats crazy/hilarious/hearbreaking!” as the show goes on.

i honestly don’t see too many parallels between Buck and TK—the only thing i noticed where they’re pretty similar is how much they both enjoy easy physical contact. buck is very touchy feely and comfortable about showing affection/feelings and i feel like TK is the same regarding physical contact (with his dad at least)? but that’s about it.

for what it’s worth i do think the show is pretty entertaining and worth a watch!

my main reason for watching past the first episode is my enjoyment of the characters. i just think they’re all neat.

this is from a post i made when i first watched the show lol:

captain strand: good dad to all of his children

tk: hot gay messy boi

grace ryder: a fave, no nonsense beauty, judds better half

judd ryder: tragic big boi

captain blake: chaotic good w baby voice

marjan: wild feral messy gurl

mateo: if anybody’s mean to my SON im throwin hands bih

paul: again, if anybody’s mean to my SON im THROWIN hands

officer reyes: ready to dick tk down

here’s a more descriptive/longer summary of the characters if u wanna know more, if not skip down to the bolded sentence below lol:

owen strand is the captain (played by rob lowe) and to me he gives off chris traeger vibes (from parks and rec if u watched?) but with more depth. i like his character a lot, he’s a caring dad, seems like he knows what he’s doing, and like, c’mon, it’s rob lowe (i fell in love with him a million years ago when he played soda pop in the outsiders nipr;guebwuogrnofw)

tk is his son and a hot gay mess w some substance abuse issues (tho a lot has happened to him in only 2 ep i really don’t know how to feel about him entirely, bc besides stuff happening TO him, i don’t feel like he’s reacted in a way that shows much of his character?) idk maybe it’s just me. but he is a certified cutie so. lol

grace ryder, she’s smart (one of the only characters with more than ONE brain cell lmao) and gorgeous and an emergency 911 operator. she’s very supportive of her husband and what he’s going thru (which is A LOT), she herself has been thru a lot bc of the big incident at the beginning of the series and is still somehow held strong in spite of it all, she’s a personal fave of mine.

judd ryder is kind of a dick at first but i think its very understandable given the hell he’s been thru, im actually surprised at the amount that i like him. he’s very raw and vulnerable but has this “don’t worry im fine, back up” attitude that i loooove. 

captain blake is the captain for EMTs, she’s got this soft teeny baby voice that contradicts so hard with her give no fucks ima do what i need to to find my missing sister actions irwughqwgoriegjf i like. she’s caring and does goes out of  her way for the little guy.

marjan has ZERO chill but in a good way, i can already absolutely see her getting into trouble by doing some crazy impulsive thing on a call in order to rescue someone—-TBH she actually reminds me a lot of Buck from OG 911 in that way. like yea she’s reckless and impulsive but u can tell its bc she CARES and this firefighting thing is what she’s meant to do. i really like her.

mateo—-OH MAN. he’s 10000000% my favorite. it hurts me everytime he’s on screen, bc he’s such a sweet and HARD WORKING man and he deserves to be a firefighter and do what he wants/has been waiting for for so long, im so HAPPY captain strand gives him a chance. i think he might have some learning disability or maybe he grew up in a household where maybe his family was too busy or didn’t care to check up on how he was doing in school and they neglected to see how much he was struggling—this is all just pure speculation from the fact that on the show he tells captain strand during the interview that he’s always passed the physical exam to be a firefighter but keeps failing the written part :( i love my son.

paul is a trans firefighter who’s mainly known for his crazy good observational skills in the field—there’s an ep—ep 2?—that shows off his talent but like, i found it unintentional funny bc the way they did it was in a scene that honestly truly felt to me like a scene I MYSELF would write in a fanfiction if i wanted to show off a cool skill the character has but was also too lazy to make it look good???? lmaoooo im not trying to be mean but like, if u do watch it, its the 2nd ep i believe, the “office meeting” scene. other than that tho there’s only been a few scenes with paul in it (my personal fave being the skin care routine scene lol) but i look forward to more scenes of my son being a lil sherlock holmes :)

officer reyes is tk’s potential new mans. he seems like a good cop from what little ive seen of him doing police work. so, i saw a post someone made basically saying how ugly are the men in texas that officer reyes is out here thirsting over tk so HARD—and not to be rude, but he really is!!!! reyes is a goodlookin guy, so idk what’s up with that, maybe he likes messy bois? bc same.

p.s. im not sure how to feel about reyes and tk together yet bc it doesn’t really seem as if they have too much chemistry. hopefully that changes? i do kinda like that they haven’t started off their potential relationship on the best of foots, bc i love drama, an indisputable fact.

ONTO THE FINAL QUESTION!

OG 911 will always be my first love and i just don’t see this changing anytime soon. buddie will always be the #1 ship in my heart! and i have about a gazillion awesome prompts i need to work on so me switching over to 911 lonestar isn’t gonna happen. i love OG 911 way too much iuqhur4ogfoie3jwnwjinioj

tho i may occasionally—per the request of prompts i’ve gotten in the last week or so–take a couple of the characters from 911 lonestar and put them in a 911 fic as a crossover? we’ll see.

this ended up soooo long oruhibgruoeqwp i hope some of it helped tho?

tl;dt: 911 lonestar seems fun and the characters are interesting enough to keep me entertained so i say give it a chance  :)

[shhhhyoursister]

Hey what are you favourite davenzi scenes/moments and what are your favourite Matteo scenes/moments? Hope you’re well!

okay okay okay this has been in my inbox for a lil while and i feel like ive been building up to it but im going to watch some clips and gather some thoughts.....i asked @theyellowcurtains to give me a number limit for each and he said 3 so im gonna do 3 of each otherwise id just write a frame by frame analysis of all of season 3 (im so sorry for how long this post is i have so many thoughts all the time)

im gonna start with matteo moments and im gonna list the season/episode/clip just for clarity okay?? okay (im doing matteo moments that dont include david because i have to go off about that later on)

1. s3ep10cl2- okay okay so the morning after clip is perfect in every single way and i could go off about it for years but beyond all of the davenzi stuff there is the moment when matteo leaves davids room and hes wearing the gray sweater, when laura is dancing??? which is also iconic all on its own but im talking specifically about matteo here, so you know he sits down on that stool thing and hes smiling SO big and hes blushin really hard and then laura sees him and they LAUGH??? and then he claps for her???? if i had to pick id absolutely say that that whole sequence is my fave matteo moment and also kind of interesting and makes me think about the fact that matteo is definitely very shy and quiet but he also has that like,, brat confidence?? i could make an entire post about that but ANYWAY yeah that is the fucking best matteo moment hes so cute and nervous but also totally fine being obvious about the fact that him and david fucked which i think is hilarious but i digress and i MUST move on

2. s3ep8cl2- i do have to say that while im not a HUGE fan of the explanation the video he watched gave of like,, what being trans is, im really glad they included this clip?? like its so obvious that matteo wants to talk to david but doesnt really know what to say, and i love that his first instinct was to start looking stuff up?? like if i was into a cis guy and he told me that he didnt really know about trans stuff but he did RESEARCH?? like thats just really sweet and shows that he really fucking loves david already and just wants to be more informed about what hes,, not to say signing up for but i cant think of a better phrase but yall know what i mean ya know??? its just very very sweet of him!!!!!

3. s3ep8cl4- i think people know about my deep love for hans so of course this clip is going to be one of my favorites?? im going to narrow it down a bit though because the part of this clip that hit me the fucking hardest was when hans asks “what do you like about him?” because the way matteo reacts is just?? so sweet?? at first he looks a little unsure but then when hans repeats himself matteo licks his lips and goes “well, i love his smile” like????? is that not the cutest fucking shit?? he literally swoons and collapses back into the chair cause hes probably imagining it and then he goes off about it being “beautiful” with david and im sure hans is trying not to cry?? and hans ending it with “thats the only thing that really matters, everything else is secondary” and matteo going “thats true” and then laughing a little bit?? i feel like that whole thing was a bit of a turning point for matteo and wow i am,,, so emotional about it

oh my god im so sorry im going off but im about to go off more cause,,, im gonna talk about davenzi moments now

1. s3ep10cl1- okay im just gonna start strong even though i feel like everyone talks about this clip i REALLY wanna talk about it because??? the fact that they showed a fucking sex scene between a trans boy and a gay cis boy is still so fucking iconic and legendary?? while this whole season really changed my life, this scene in particular is so.......it just feels so good to see. like its so nice watching that and seeing someone who looks like me ya know?? not that i look like david god i wish i was that lucky but like,, someone wearing a binder?? someone whos body looks more like mine than any other trans rep ive seen?? and seeing that body being portrayed as DESIRABLE??? i think thats one of the things that gets me the most is just how like,, just how much matteo is into david lol it just feels good feels organic but im gonna stop myself here before i talk for 1000 years about a less than 4min long clip lmao

2. s3ep10cl4- okay so this clip really just highlights the cute beginning flirting stages of their relationship?? like matteo doesnt want to host the party but then he sees david and smiles and then hes smiling like a fool when he hands david the beanie back and theyre both just so awkward but obviously crushing?? and he wants to keep talking so of course hes gonna bring up the time they hung out, and he looks a lil shocked after david says “it was cool with you” and then he like,, stutters through inviting him to the party cause hes probably so nervous!!! theyre both just such big losers with such BIG crushes on each other its really just the cutest fucking clip and also kinda shows that david isnt necessarily just this,, cool dude?? hes also a stuttery blushy dork with a crush?? wow wow its just such a good underrated clip WOW

3. s3ep9cl7- okay okay okay okay okay im sure there are like lenghty analyses about this clip already but i dont care because holy FUCK??? something i didnt really notice about it before was once matteo finally goes up to david hes like “are you fucking serious” but then he sees that david is fuckin spiraling so his voice gets softer and he asks him like “hey whats wrong” and its just a really good set up to the conversation?? and its nice to see that despite matteo probably being kinda angry hes mostly just worried about david?? and then matteo just lets david go OFF at him and only talks when hes trying to tell him that it isnt going to be the same as it was last time but then once he sees that david is getting angrier and louder hes like okay how am i going to get him to listen so of course matteo, the quietest boy in the world, yells back!!!! and yeah thats the thing that finally stops david from working himself up!! and matteo realizes that hes gonna need to be a lil loud and pushy to make david listen to him and then he goes back to being soft once david is paying attention to him!!! and then he talks and he says so much, like much more than he usually does at one time, and god GOD the way they did that was jsut so GOOD!!!!! and the fact that matteo, who appears to be either depressed or apathetic like 90% of the season, is the one that says i love you first??? and during such an emotional and important moment like?? like after going off about how david isnt alone and that hes really great and jsut needs to stop hiding himself away LIKE???? guys its jsut so so good its just so good i could talk for years but im gonna cut myself off here

honorable mentions cause i cant shut the fuck UP:

1. when theyre looking at davids sketchbook and david is like “these are private actually all of them are private” and matteo is like “well you already showed them to me it doesnt matter” and then he giggles like damn no question why david had such a huge crush on him immediately hes such a cutie

2. “its not a girl”

3. ill just say the whole cuddle clip?? the tender/feral dichotomy?? absolutely *chefs kiss* just fucking perfect

4. THE FIRST KISS??? also gotta say i noticed something for the first time the other night but matteo SMILES and i hadnt seen it before its right after david says “i bet i can hold my breath longer than you” and then the angle changes and he smiles before holding his breath and it killed me when i saw it whoops

5. final shout out along the same lines as ^^ that one but just?? anytime matteo smiles?? fills me with serotonin. the smile in the final clip right before david runs over to kiss him?? the smiles when hes fuckin around with the boys?? every single lil nervous crushy smile with david??? i could go on but im going to stop this now before i say any more this is already too long

[deereyed-blog1]

Change

Warnings: None Ships: Nbin (side kenvi, luck) Characters: Hakyeon, taekwoon, jaehwan, wonshik, hongbin, hyuk Posted in: ao3 **************************************

“You can continue anytime now” Hongbin drawled lazily sending a pointed look toward his rehearsing partner, which by the moment has a faraway look in his eyes. “huh? Yeah where was I?” Hakyeon flipped through the script pages absentmindedly, seemingly not up to do it anymore. Hongbin shifted his eyes to his watch and noticed how fast the time went by. “Ugh it’s already 11:24. Let’s stop for today” The man sighed nodding as he closed the script and put it down beside the bed silently, he was about to suggest making dinner together when his phone buzzed with an incoming message.

From Wonshikkie: 11:24 PM. Hyung, can you come over? There’s something important I want to tell you. It’s very very important! I’ll be waiting!

Hakyeon frowned noting the urgency in his friend’s words, and without missing a beat he found himself reaching for his keys and coat heading to the door. “Where are you going?” He stopped turning around once again. “I need to go somewhere” “This late at night?!” “Wonshik said it’s important” Just like that the curiosity in hongbin’s expression drastically changed into a hostile one. “What does he want now?” Hakyeon rolled his eyes at the way he spat ‘he’ like it’s the most disgusting thing in life. Maybe he shouldn’t have told him since hongbin wasn’t a big ‘fan’ of wonshik, but at the same time hakyeon never felt the need to lie to his childhood friend about anything for the past 17 years, so why should he now? “It won’t be long don’t worry” “I’m not! Go spend the night with your boyfriend” Hongbin was now holding his phone trying to act indifferent but hakyeon knew better. He bite his lips to stop from smiling as he walked back into the room throwing himself on the sulking man, hugging him sideway. “Awww don’t be jealous. You’ll still be my valentine date tomorrow” “I’m always your Valentine date you loser. AND I’M NOT JEALOUS” He fought to get away from the steel like grip halfheartedly, knowing how it’s almost impossible to do that when hakyeon is in the mood for smothering the hell out of him. “You’re sooo jealous” “I’m not!” “Yes” “No” “yes” “No” Hongbin growled, finally getting some air into his lungs making the older of them by 2 years chuckle heartily. “Be careful if people heard you they’ll totally think you have feelings for me” Hongbin huffed glaring at his screen obviously avoiding the eye contact. “You wish” I do. Hakyeon turned his back again hiding the grimace that immediately appeared on his face, and said in an overly cheerful tone. “Say you later hongbinnie” But hakyeon never returned that night. ____________________________________ “I hate you” Hakyeon groaned the next morning holding his head between his hands as he sat on the table in wonshik’s kitchen. He watched as the man in subject sent him a sheepish smile before putting some pills and a glass of water in front of him. “Sorry I was so nervous yesterday and didn’t know you wanted to return to your apartment” “Hongbin must be so pissed off that I stood him up, shit” He continued to glare at him even when wonshik avoided his eyes to look at everything in his kitchen as if seeing it for the first time. “A little bit of alcohol never harmed anyone, and we were celebrating hyung, remember?” Came the overjoyed voice from the doorway making hakyeon wince at how loud jaehwan was. “I’m a light drunk, you should’ve stopped me after the second bottle!” Jaehwan rolled his eyes and walked till he stood in front of wonshik, and without hesitation he reached up and kissed the side of his lips whispering a ‘good morning’ and making the tall man blush like a high school girl. Even after witnessing that hakyeon couldn’t believe that his two best friends from college are officially dating, and maybe yesterday’s turn of events was partly because of it. That made him think of his life, he never felt the need to date anyone, and he still remembers the first few years he explored it dating different people, he ended up breaking up with them immediately after a week of going out with them. And three years later he came to a conclusion. That he didn’t need anyone, because no one can ever replace the person who has always been beside him since they were in elementary school. Hakyeon might never know if what he has for hongbin was that kind of love or not, but he kept comparing everyone with that boy it almost sounded stupid for him to do that, but he couldn’t help it. He was dominating every thought he possessed. Hakyeon sighed and walked toward the living room where his phone was charging, he turned on the device praying that he won’t find angry messages from the abandoned boy. And there were 5 missed calls and 3 messages. Great! He opened the messages feeling guilt fill his insides as he read them.

From Hongbi: 1:55 AM. Where the hell are you? It’s so late!

From Hongbi: 2:24 AM. Hakyeon I swear if you don’t call now..

From Hongbi: 3:45 AM. Don’t come home tonight I have a date.

Hakyeon reread the last one over and over trying to detect what was the wrong with it, and when he finally, really, understood his headache intensified and his hand clutched the device painfully. In a second he dialed hongbin’s number and waited, shaking his leg anxiously thinking how he must read it wrong, better, maybe he was still sleeping. “What?” “Yah I’ve never liked the way you joke!” What are you saying idiot?? Hakyeon rolled his eyes at himself, and he heard the other man let out a confused ‘huh’ followed by a stretching silence before he heard a huff and again, hongbin’s deep voice filled his ear. “It’s too early for that! And I wasn’t joking so spend a happy valentine with your wonshik and I’ll spend it with my new date. It’s a win win” HOW IS IT A WIN WIN? Hakyeon wanted to scream feeling his head nearly split in pain. “I don’t care if you’re going on a date I’m spending it at home as usual an-” “No don’t come, we’re spending the date inside” “LEE HONGBIN! YOU AREN’T LETTING ANYONE INSIDE OUR HOUSE ON VALENTINE DAY. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR DAY!” Hakyeon heard what sounded like snickering but couldn’t really tell from how much his head was pounding. “Hyung chill. I get it we won’t do anything-” “YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT DOING SOMETHING?” “AS I SAID we won’t do anything so don’t worry and have fun there” Hongbin now sounded more awake and more cheerful it pissed him off somehow. He had a date, he’s breaking up their tradition of spending the whole night stuffing their mouths with chicken and chocolate ice cream, laughing while making fun of sappy and cringy romcoms. The reality dawned on him all of a sudden. “You’re kidding me right? Say you’re kidding now and I’ll forgive you” “You sound jealous?” The grin in his tone didn’t go past him and it made him angrier that he longed to see that dimpled wide smile on hongbin’s face even now. “Happy Valentine’s Day hyung, don’t forget to use a condom” The line went dead and the older man stood a long torturing minute staring at the screen. Use a condom? Why the hell would he ask him that? Hakyeon saw a movement at the corner of his eyes and saw the couple watching him warily. “Is everything ok hyung?” Wonshik’s voice cleared up his mind, and for once all the comments about the droopy eyed man being his boyfriend, which hongbin never failed to throw at him whenever he announced he was going to meet him, finally made sense. “That idiot!” ___________________________________ Hongbin was avoiding the apartment like it was the plague. He spent the whole morning at the gym trying to not think about how he acted nonchalantly with hakyeon this morning. The man sounded pissed off but hongbin was amazed that hakyeon didn’t caught on yet on how a mess his actions actually were. After the gym he went to hyuk’s apartment, who humored him and they spent the whole afternoon playing video games. The 2 years younger kid didn’t comment on how weird of hongbin to ditch his nest on valentine day, he knew him long enough to keep in mind how sacred this day was for him. But hyuk being silent didn’t mean Taekwoon who was glaring at him from across the room will be as understanding. “Go back” “I don’t wanna” “Whatever happened between you two keep it that way” Hongbin narrowed his eyes at his hyung contemplating whether he wanted to point out that sadly there’s nothing between hakyeon and him, or if he should just ignore him. The man’s feral eyes went back to his phone as he shook his head slightly and hongbin wondered if he was standing in the way of the love birds’ plans. Duh genius, no one is as pathetically lonely as you. Even hakyeon has someone. Hongbin gritted his teeth watching hyuk take down the enemy easily while he stood there unmoving. Why is he here again? “Fine!” He threw the controller down and stretched watching as taek’s eyes lit up not so discreetly. Hyuk closed the game and stood up looking at him. “You’ve got to communicate hyung” The giant kid said exaggeratedly, he made it sound so easy but again hongbin was known for over analyzing every silly thing. “I’ll keep that in mind” He bent down putting his sneakers on and before he wore his coat and went out a hand stopped him in the doorway, and he turned back to see taek staring at him with kind eyes. “Just remember why you stayed with him all these years, and why you gave up on a lot of things to be with him. The same for hakyeon too” Hongbin looked down at the ground not knowing what to say, but taek as always understood him without uttering anything. “Happy valentine’s day binah. Stay happy” His big hand ruffled his hair and a small smile graced his lips giving reassurance that maybe, everything will turn well at the end. “Call me if you’re doing the deeds tonight” Hongbin had wondered when satan will go back to his usual self, and he glared at the shit eating grin on hyuk’s face. “I hate you” “aish don’t lie” ___________________________________ Upon opening the door to their shared apartment, hongbin noticed the lack of hakyeon’s presence in it. He sighed hanging his coat and leaving his shoes neatly on the side before entering the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator only to see the pack of beers and two boxes of their favorite ice cream in, waiting to be devoured. He stood there for a minute before taking out his phone to send a message to hakyeon, he is done being stupid and he only hopes that hakyeon didn’t really take him up for that suggestion.

To Hakyeonie: 6:02 PM. Change of plans, I might be the one in need for a condom.

Not even a whole minute after came the replay and hongbin couldn’t stop the giggle escaping him.

From Hakyeonie : 6:03 pm. I’M ON MY WAY DAMN IT.

“So easy” hongbin snorted then started setting up the living room with blankets on the couch, a big glass bowl with ice and beers in and of course the list of movies opened in front of him. Fearing that the ice cream will melt he decided to leave it in the refrigerator, and put the bowl of chicken on the table. He then took a quick shower and wore his favorite sweater, a navy blue knitted one that hakyeon bought him for his birthday, and dark ripped jeans. Usually he wouldn’t care about what he wears for hakyeon has seen him in his worst and they even used to shower together when they were children, but today was different. Hongbin could feel it and it sent an excited tremor down his body, his smile never leaving his lips. And even if it wasn’t, hongbin is adamant to stand up for once and do that himself. He was swaying to the melody playing inside his head when the sound of key jiggling in the lock caught his attention, his body immediately fell down on the couch, his shaking hand went through his hair trying to tame the rebellious locks back to place. He looked around noting everything in its place before he stopped and kicked himself mentally. Man, you’re helpless. ___________________________________ The first thing that hakyeon did after entering the apartment was looking around in an urgent manner. “Where is he?” He saw as hongbin, who was sitting tensely on the couch, shifted slightly to the edge. “Who?” Hakyeon gave him the stink face and went to hongbin’s bedroom, his own bedroom but didn’t find anyone. His legs took him to the living room again and before he said anything his eyes roamed around the place, noting how familiar it was. Confused, he sat on the couch beside hongbin whose blank face was starting to make him worried. “Where’s your date?” “There’s no one” The frown only intensified. “But you told me-” “I made it up” He simply replied cutting him off, still not looking toward him. The older man sat there quietly observing hongbin, there were times when words weren’t the best way to force the younger to express himself, actions affected him more and that’s why hakyeon found himself biting back the string of questions bubbling inside him. He only needed to count to ten, when hongbin sighed and leaned forward taking a hold of the remote control and started scrolling through the list. “I was angry that you promised to return yet you stayed there” Hakyeon winced at his words and thought how it was the first time he didn’t hold up to his promise. Maybe he deserved being ignored by him. “I got drunk celebrating and I ended up passing out on his couch” Hongbin paused for a second before licking and biting his lower lip making hakyeon’s eyes follow the movement absentmindedly. “Celebrate what?” “Wonshik finally not being boyfriendless” Hongbin’s head whipped around, looking for the first time since he came back, at him with shocked eyes. “What?” He sighed nodding his head before letting out a tired chuckle. “You should’ve seen the idiot, he was so smitten” “B-but what about you?” “What about me?” Hongbin searched his face for whatever he thought he’ll see, but seemingly failed he instead looked at him incredulously. “You’re ok with that? Him being someone else’s boyfriend?” The older was reminded of that comment right before hongbin hung up on him this morning, and he couldn’t help it when his hand reached up to neck shop the man with as much power as he can put without actually hurting him. And hakyeon really was tempted to do that. “Awww what was that for!!” “For being an idiot! How could you think that there was something between me and wonshik. He’s practically my younger brother!” Hakyeon couldn’t believe this day, he really was exhausted all of a sudden. “I thought…” Hongbin trailed off looking down at his hands guiltily, and as much as his hyung wanted to keep being angry at him, one look to his shaky hands made his insides melt with fondness toward the silly boy. “You’ll be the death for me one day. I lost many years of my life span today” Hongbin rolled his eyes. “You don’t really have much left” Of course he received another hit. “Don’t worry you’re stuck with me for a long time lee hongbin” Hakyeon smiled at the hint of dimple showing on his pale cheek and he took the remote from his hands ushering him toward the kitchen. “Go bring our ice cream babes” ___________________________________ “She’s going to get her heart broken” Hongbin noted. “Nope. She’s going to live happily ever after” Hakyeon replied with a small smile making the younger one roll his eyes. “Stop fighting me about everything” “Stop being so negative about everything. Life can surprise you sometimes” Hongbin shook his head and took another spoon full of the ice cream, he’d be lying if he said his full attention was on the TV screen. If anyone asked him what he remembers from now, it’d be how sexy hakyeon’s lips were stretched around the spoon, well, he doubted anyone would want to know that. “Pay attention” That snapped him out of the gutter and he stared dumbfounded at hakyeon. “What? I’m paying attention!” He saw hakyeon’s eyes twitch as he let out a low hum. “You pay some attention” He remarked happy with his comeback. “I caaan’t, you’re distracting me” Hakyeon all but whined turning his head just in time to catch hongbin’s eyes coming to stare at him like a deer caught in headlights. “W-wha-” Hakyeon’s eyes cut him off as they, like hongbin’s did before, searched his face for something. “S-stop looking at me like that” “But I love looking at you like that” Is he playing with him? Hongbin rolled his eyes again, he does that a lot with this man, and continued watching the TV ignoring him. “Were you always jealous of Wonshik?” He braced himself not to show anything on his face, any reaction could give him away with someone as observant as his hyung, but isn’t that what he needed? To change things between them? “I was feeling neglected since for a long time I’ve been your only best friend” That was hard to admit but even though, hongbin knew that was a cowardice escape, he has always been a man who faced his problems straight ahead and never liked running away. He wants to move on from this damn spot in their relationship but at the same time he feared the change, what would assure him that he won’t lose hakyeon for good if he admitted his real feelings? Or treat him differently, because he knew hakyeon wouldn’t reject him in fear of hurting him. He cherished their friendship so much to let it turn upside down for a bunch of emotions, so he should be satisfied, right? “Is that all what it was about?” Hakyeon sounded neutral, hongbin couldn’t read him this time. When he didn’t say anything hakyeon continued to speak. “What’s your ideal date hongbinnie?” The question was so sudden it took him off guard, ideal date? Why? He voiced his thoughts only to receive a shrug. “I don’t know but for the 17 years we’ve known each other we never discussed such things so I’m curious” He turned his eyes to him and asked again with a low tone. “What’s your ideal date, hongbin?” The younger gulped and shied away from his piercing gaze to look at the TV again, he took his time turning his words in his head before answering hesitantly. “I..you know how I like to go sightseeing? So maybe a walk in the park? Taking photos of each other and I don’t know, eat some ice cream?” He sounded nervous all of a sudden, hell he felt shaken a little bit as if he was laying himself bare to the world to see. It didn’t make sense, since it was always easier for him to talk with hakyeon from anyone else, but maybe because it was him this time that made it all so different right now? Hongbin felt as if his mind is going to explode. “hmm” Hakyeon all but hummed vaguely, his eyes still heavy on the side of hongbin’s face making him fidget on his seat. “Is that why you were persistent on having ice cream in our ritual for valentine day?” The younger frowned but before he asked him what he meant hakyeon shifted his eyes to the bowl of chicken. “Mine is chicken” “Chicken?” Hakyeon nodded as he sat on the edge of the couch touching the bowl with a small smile. “I have always had this clear image in my mind, I mean my ideal date, since I was old enough to know about dating. It’s simple but it never failed to bring joy to my heart” “What is it?” Hongbin whispered not truly noticing how he edged closer to the other as his eyes remained on hakyeon’s lit up face. “Me and my date, sitting on a cozy couch in a cozy room with chicken and ice cream within reach, turning on TV to watch movies only to spend half of it chatting with each other and playing around distracted” The silence that was stretched after went unnoticed by the loud hearted man. His heart was pounding so hard, and his breathing got faster upon locking eyes with hakyeon. No one said anything for the longest time, maybe feeling satisfied with the amount of eye talking they did. But of course, like everything good in life, their moment was ruined by the buzz of hongbin’s phone announcing an unread message. The young man jumped feeling the vibration in his pocket, he reached his hand to take it out only to be stopped by the other. “Leave it” “But..” “Hongbin-ah” His tone was final so hongbin sunk in the couch with a slight pout, making hakyeon chuckle a bit. He reached out and ruffled his soft hair with a teasing grin. “Good boy” Hongbin rolled his eye and swatted his hand away. His heart was still pounding but not as threatening as before, and his lips twitched with a hint of smile. Shit he felt giddy all of a sudden, but can anyone blame him? It might not have lasted more than few seconds but that moment he shared with hakyeon was different from anything he experienced before. He felt scared but more hopeful. “So THIS is your ideal date?” His words were bold, challenging, as if he dared him to say otherwise and hakyeon must have caught it because he nodded, his lips perking up on the side. “Why are you sharing it with me then?” He kept pushing and the older man went along with it. “Do you even have to ask at this point?” “I just don’t understand why” “Maybe it’s for the fact that everyone I came across never made me want to do these things with except with you” Hakyeon inhaled sharply with hongbin mirroring his action. “Maybe, I don’t want anyone but..you” ___________________________________ The raw emotions that swelled in his chest caught him off guard, he has always been an emotional man but to actually feel his eyes sting a bit threw him off. The things hongbin make me feel, he thought embarrassingly. Said man was still in shock, looking at him with wide eyes and dropped jaw, hakyeon wanted to laugh because it took him a long time to say these simple words for the clueless boy to notice his feelings. Yes hongbin was a sharp person, but not when it comes to realizing someone else’s feelings toward him and hakyeon had to deal with witnessing that for the past years alongside many other heartbroken pursuers. He’s so clueless about what draws people to him and it makes hakyeon’s heart swell with fondness. “Huh?” Was the young man’s reaction, hakyeon sighed exaggeratedly and shook his head. “What to do with you Lee hongbin” Hongbin made a face at him, his lips moving to talk only to stop and frown. “What?” “Since when?” Hakyeon shrugged. “Beats me. It was like how I became aware of things as I grew up, my feelings were there too” He couldn’t believe it, how he’s sitting there discussing his feelings almost openly and more, how hongbin took everything in without escaping and running away from him. It felt surreal and it scared him a bit to be honest. Hongbin shifted in his place pulling his legs up, his slightly shaking hands wrapping around his pulled up knees to clutch at his forearms tightly. It was a normal position but hakyeon knew better, hongbin was losing himself to his thoughts. “Stop overanalyzing everything” He whispered inching closer to him, his arm resting over the back of the couch and was so pleasantly surprised when hongbin leaned closer, pressing his side to the older man’s chest. “I can’t help it, everything right now feels unreal” Tell me about it. Hakyeon kept looking at his perfect side profile until the young man raised his eyes shyly to him.

“Are you sure about it?” He would’ve laughed if the situation wasn’t serious, but he knew hongbin very well and he knew he needed reassurance.

“I won’t talk about ten years from now, I’ll just let everything go with the flow. But right now, in this moment, I’m done with running away from my feelings” His hand played with hongbin’s soft hair lightly as he asked him the same. Hongbin only kept looking at him until his eyes flickered down to his lips and hakyeon’s heart started to pick up in a dangerous speed. Oh boy.

Suddenly, tension shifted in the living room, both of them felt almost breathless from the small space between them as they kept looking at each other’s lips. With their breathing mingled, hakyeon had to clutch the back of the couch to stop himself from decreasing the distance and finally tasting his plush lips, hongbin hands weren’t doing any better as he squeezed his arms tightly, he noticed.

Why are you still holding back idiot?

Hakyeon looked up for a sign that he finally can do what he dreamed about doing his whole life, he watched as hongbin’s eyes rose to meet him only to flutter shut a moment later, his long eyelashes resting on his reddening cheeks. Hakyeon took that as his cue and he dove in.

The moment their lips met in the middle hongbin inhaled sharply taking hakyeon’s own breath away, literally. Hakyeon’s pulse skyrocketed insanely, his lips pressing on hongbin’s without moving nor deepening it, the older man felt frozen in that moment. In the back of his mind he registered the fact that he was the one with the most kissing experiences between the two, hell, he wasn’t even sure if this kiss wasn’t hongbin’s first but for some reason he felt like all the courage he summoned today to confess disappeared in thin air. He felt scared shitless and it made him retreat a bit losing the warmth of his lips. But as soon as he did, he felt a warm and slightly shaken hand rest lightly on the back of his neck stopping him from going any further. He opened his eyes to see hongbin studying his face before a small smile with a hint of dimples graced his expression.

“Who’s the one overanalyzing it now, hyung?” Without any other words he closed the space once again but this time, he was the one that took it upon himself to move his lips against hakyeon’s frozen one, forcing him to comply and finally start kissing back. An experimental kiss turned into a deep and heated one as hakyeon’s hands circled hongbin’s lain waist and pulled him even more closer nearly dragging him into his lap. Hongbin’s own hand went around his neck, his fingers tugging softly at his locks while he continued to drive the older man crazy with his lips. Where the hell did he learn how to do that? Hongbin let out a tiny sound as hakyeon bite his lower lip softly only to moan and tug harsher reflexively on his hair when he bite his lips again, this time more hungrily. He needed to clear his head from this fog, with the lack of oxygen and the small sexy noises hongbin was letting out every few seconds made him almost explode. He never regretted wearing jeans until now.

“H-hongbin let’s s-top” He panted in between hongbin’s attack on his lips but the latter didn’t hear him or pretended not to until hakyeon drew back breathlessly.

“Wait I..” His eyes swapped all over the heavy lidded beautiful man in front of him, and when his eyes noticed the bulge in his dark jeans his mind went blank all of a sudden and he couldn’t do anything but to pull him over his lap and press his face in his sweater cladded chest, his hands tightening around his waist.

He wanted him, hongbin really wanted him and he wasn’t dreaming. He could hear his heartbeat from how close he was and he felt hongbin’s hands go around his shoulders and hug him tightly as if he didn’t want to let go of him forever. He felt the same, and felt so many things that made his chest swell so much it hurt.

“this is the best valentine ever” He could almost sense hongbin rolling his eyes as he replied.

“yeah yeah whatever” He giggled when hakyeon drew back to send him a glare.

“you just ruined it you know?”

“I’m not even sorry” hongbin retorted cheekily while he pulled his legs closer leaning his side to hakyeon’s chest comfortably. The latter only smiled as he hugged him allowing him to snuggle closer. He pecked his nose only to have it scrunching with distaste.

“Get used to it hon”

“Omg you did not just call me that!” Hongbin looked scandalized which made him laugh heartily at him.

“I certainly did” Hongbin elbowed him in the rips earning a pained groan.

“you jerk!”

“bastard” the young one bite back smugly before taking the remote and starting the movie again, hakyeon fake pouted before sighing in contentment and snuggling back to him like many times before but this time he knew things have changed. He didn’t know what their future holds but he wasn’t worried about it at all because deep inside he knew, both of them will never change and they’ll be fine.