#i love my cousin but shes not worth all the other shit people in this family

[hopeastrz]

𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐈𝐗🧺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

𝟓𝟎% 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐄 ON ALL OF MY CHART READINGS!.

check previous observations (𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄)

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑: 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫/𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬…

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: i chose to analyze my previous SR charts so these observations are based on my own experience!, also 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐄 𝐔𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃!.

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐈: 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒🦚✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

𝐓𝐚𝘂𝗿𝘂𝘀 𝐦𝐚𝗿𝘀 really hate getting hungry they turn to a very angry hulk when they want food but there isn’t any around them yet!— full taurus, happy taurus.

I think 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝘁𝘆 𝐡𝐨𝘂𝘀𝐞𝘀 are overrated and here’s a hot-take, we have 12th houses and 10 planets, even if it’s possible to have a planet in each house there’ll be 2 houses empty, surprise there will always be an empty house in your chart, and that doesn’t have to mean necessarily a bad thing!.

Having 0 planets on the 𝟔𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝘂𝘀𝐞 for example may mean that you just don’t focus about that house matters daily, yes you take care of your health but your life doesn’t revolve around it!, you go to the gym every now and then, eat decent meals, and that it!, unlike 𝟔𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝘂𝘀𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬 people you’re not a gym rat, and you may not stick to a diet routine throughout your life, it’s that simple, also please correct me if i’m wrong!.

I noticed that when 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝘂𝘀 𝐚𝘀𝐩𝐞𝐜𝘁𝘀 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧(especially neutral and harmonious aspects) it blesses these natives with a great talent and love for cooking and they also don’t cook for anyone just people whom they cherish.

On the other hand 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝘀𝐩𝐞𝐜𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝐨 𝐍𝐞𝐩𝘁𝘂𝐧𝐞 people may consider cooking as an escapism for them, whenever they feel drained or stressed they may bake a cake or a warm meal to make themselves feel better, and they also may be the type to cook with wines and vodka!.

𝐀𝐪𝘂𝐚𝗿𝐢𝘂𝘀 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝘁𝘀 have an extremely chaotic life and I’m not even joking, they go through the weirdest situations ever.. like please explain to me what could possibly lead you to get lost at an empty arcade in the middle of the night and instead of seeking help you decide to take some pictures for your snap streaks??? (Yes, that’s actually what a friend of mine did and she’s an aqua dominant💁🏻‍♀️)

Also speaking on 𝐀𝐪𝘂𝐚𝗿𝐢𝐚𝐧𝘀, why do you like surprising people so much?, and i mean it literally with all this pranks and shit, i blame uranus influence tbh.

It is said that people with 𝟏𝟎𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝘂𝘀𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝘁𝘀 are workaholics, but they aren’t the only ones, i believe that 𝟔𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝘂𝘀𝐞𝗿𝘀 are way more work dedicated— and addicted than anyone else, because if there’s a thing they do best is following a routine, that’s why they excel anywhere, you just put a plan for them and they’ll follow!.

Also why do 𝟔𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝘂𝘀𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝗿𝐨𝐧 believe that their work defines their worth, and the more they get exhausted by work it means it pays off better.. HELLO?? IT DOESN’T WORK THIS WAY IN THIS ECONOMY??? HOSPITAL BILLS ARE DISASTROUS PLEASE TAKE A FREAKING BREAK WHEN NEEDED!

I’m not joking my cousin is about to turn into a giant raccoon with all these dark circles she barley sleeps, barley eats and you can never catch her having a break this woman is about to go crazy💀.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝗿𝐚 𝘃𝐞𝐧𝘂𝘀 have the best eye for aesthetic, and i know i said it before but really, they have a very strange ability to make things that don’t match actually very presentable beautifully!.

When 𝐉𝘂𝐩𝐢𝘁𝐞𝗿 𝐚𝘀𝐩𝐞𝐜𝘁𝘀 𝐒𝐚𝘁𝘂𝗿𝐧 that makes you choose long term partners very carefully, those people know themselves and their needs well enough to decide what’s good and bad for them, they don’t rush it, that’s why they always get the best outcome, and you can see this manifest in both of Rihanna and Beyoncé birth charts!.

Also 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝟏𝟏°,𝟐𝟑° people are very, very, veryyyyy creative it’s mind blowing they really think outside the box.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐬 do actually suffer from hyper independence and you can’t tell me otherwise, i was in a group project with one of my friends (me being a libra sun and them being an Aries sun) i thought that we should have at least one man with us to handle all the tough work and pay for some things yadada, however they on the other hand really wanted to do all this shit by themselves (mind you both of us are the first daughters of our families) and we were supposed to go to god knows where shitty places to get the project done, we really almost killed each other then trying to prove our points.. oh yeah and they ended up winning.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 have a very, very soft skin and it’s not even a joke anymore im so jealous!, also the chest area is really really prominent no jokes.

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐈: 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 🪴⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

When i had 𝟗𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧, my grandparents who haven’t visited us for more than 4+ years came back from london (which was considered a miracle since it just wasn’t supposed to happen), and then we both traveled then together on a short trip, and i also noticed that whenever i had 𝟗𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟗𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 i traveled to a place that was full of water, going to a beach, the ocean etc.. and it may also indicate going back to our roots.

My favorite years are the ones with 𝟓𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, the amount of joy, new experiences and the excitement that surrounds you throughout the year can’t be described by words only, and it doesn’t really revolve around romantic relationships only, i don’t date and whenever i had my 𝐒��𝐧/𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧/𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬/𝐉𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟓𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 it felt like i was healing my inner child, i found myself indulging more in art, these were the years where i got introduced to my most creative and artistic self!.

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟔𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 is no joke, I felt the need to become my best self 24/7, also my peers in uni got on my nerves more than ever.

When astroblr community said that having 𝐉𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐂 grants you luck throughout the year i thought they were joking but no, it’s 100% legit, everything worked in my favor fr, dude even my periods came on the best date’s it’s crazy, oh and i also got social media semi famous, i had 2 reels on instagram pass 2m views (bonus; that year i had 𝟓𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐨, which means short term or quick fame!)

When i had a 𝟒𝐓𝐇 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 ���𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫, i felt more connected with my mom, and she also felt the same way— we both talked more with each other! Also I bought lots of posters for my room, and a new vanity!, oh yeah and since it was in leo i noticed that took a good care of my hair, it’s crazy how astrology can be literal sometimes.

[qiqi-media]

Don't know if it's because of the new movie release but I've been seeing a lot more of descendants the og movies resurfacing on different social medias and the Audrey comments have started back up again. One in particular that I've never liked

"Why is she doing all of that over a high school break up?"

For starters Descendants was about teenagers, all of their relationships were high school relationships. The "true love" couple had their true love's kiss while they were both still in high school. So to refer to Audrey and Ben as a "high school" relationship that's purposely downplaying her feelings and their relationship. I get being confused because Descendants goes back and forth with the canon. At the end of D1 she was fine and in Wicked World her life didn't drastically change because of their breakup. But in D3 that is what happened, her life drastically changed and she was treated like shit.

She lost all of her friends "There's nothing to lose when you're lonely and friendless" & "Why is she here." There was no reason why that had to have happen, Audrey was never shown to be so terrible to the point where if she wasn't dating Ben that everyone had to abandon her. Especially in D1 her actions were no worse than Jane's and Jane still kept her friends and were friends with the VKs. Jane in my personal opinion was worse than Audrey, at least to the Vks in D1. Her worst crime was laughing at Jane's hair and I'm not understanding why that's unforgivable in comparison to Mal trying to manipulate her with said hair. Chad was even more social in Auradon but Audrey is completely shunned and for what? Because she's not dating Ben? People were straight up ignoring her when she spoke and in canon Audrey up until that point hadn't done anything so cruel to where that would make sense. She wasn't any snarkier than Chad or Jane on occasions and definitely not worse than things the Vks did. The only explanation we can come to is that when she wasn't Ben's girlfriend she didn't matter to people anymore.

That's not even addressing her shitty ass family, they treated her like dirt because she wasn't in line for the throne anymore. (those were never Audrey's intentions btw) Her cousin, her mother, her Grandma all acted like she was a failure because she wasn't with Ben and more specifically because she "lost" Ben to their Family's enemy. Like she had any choice in the matter, Ben didn't even have the choice of when and how they broke up. So if she couldn't turn to her friends or her family who did she have?? Nobody she was isolated and alone. Other adults? Look at Belle she talked shit about her too. She had Chad but because Audrey knew she couldn't return his feelings she stopped relying on him after a certain point.

All of this because she and Ben broke up, because she wasn't next in line to become Queen of Auradon. (That's another thing, her acknowledging that if she and Ben stayed together forever would end up with her being Queen isn't her being thirsty for the crown. It's her preparing for her future that, yes she was looking forward to but she wasn't thirsty to marry him because if she was, her family seemed more than open to an arranged marriage. But there was never one, they were simply boyfriend and girlfriend.)

She lost her life long best friend too: Ben. Even if they truly made up post D3 we know their relationship would never be the same.

So trying to act like Audrey had an entire breakdown over the simple fact of their high school relationship ending is false.

"How was she not supposed to tie her self worth in dating Ben when people started treating her like a waste of space when she wasn't with him?"

[life-love-geekculture]

Okay, let’s talk Lucanis’s mind prison (Warning: Spoilers):

I honestly haven’t seen much discourse yet on how the “prison guards” reflect aspects of our favorite assassin’s personality. So, I figured I throw my two cents into the ring.

Let’s start with Caterina. Honestly, the most surface level of our four candidates, especially with Spite spelling it out for us. Caterina is Lucanis’ fear. Specifically, his fear of failing. Failing and disappointing Caterina. Failing the expectations set for him and by him. Failing Rook. Not killing Ghiln’nain at Weisshaupt was the cherry on top of an absolute shit sunday of what Lucanis would see as a year’s worth of failure. He’s been captured, tortured, and turned into an abomination by the very people he’s supposed to put the fear of the Maker into. It all just confirms those secret fears of not being good enough he’s been carrying for most of his life. And now he’s being confronted with a similar situation but with stakes on a personal level. Either decision he makes, he (at this point) loses.

Next up, Harding. Harding is his fear of Spite. Of what he could become, and who he could hurt, if he ever loses a modicum of control over the demon. It’s no accident Harding’s is the face he summons to project this. She might be the most sympathetic to his plight and still be willing to kill him if he ever loses control. Harding tells him in the real world that she would know it wouldn’t be his fault, but she wouldn’t let him hurt their friends. And Lucanis encourages her with this! Harding also seems to be the only other person besides Rook to ask if he would like a different room and to show concern with his isolating patterns. The fact she cares in spite of her fear (which he shares) makes her a perfect representative. Because he might literally kill himself then risk hurting her.

Neve. Ah Neve, a potential love interest or Lucanis’s best friend if you romance him as Rook. By this point in the quest, Rook has bulldozed their way past Lucanis’s fears and insecurities. Now it’s time to lash out. If you listen to his & Neve’s banter with each other and in general, they are the driest pair of a-holes you will ever meet. It’s great! So, naturally, when it comes to throwing that cynicism and sarcasm up like a freaking shield, Neve is who he thinks about. I also love the insight this section gives into how Lucanis groups people in his head (family, enemy, and contract). That’s not Spite. Spite, we’ve seen, tends to build the framework of his interactions from his host. That is all Lucanis, baby! We also get a little more insight into how Lucanis views Neve herself. I like to think Spite’s description is kind of the gut instinct, first impression our boy had meeting Neve in the Ossuary or later at the Lighthouse. On paper, she’s a Tevinter mage like the ones who held him for a year. His head knows she’s not the same, but I’ll bet she set off all his defensive instincts and now there’s guilt associated with that. Because he likes Neve. He gets along with Neve. He really needs to teach Neve how to appreciate coffee. But he can’t shake how he felt first meeting her and, like everything else, he carries it with him.

Fucking Illario. It tracks that Lucanis at his most self-hating would dredge up this dumbass. This is the crux of his current dilemma. He loves his cousin. They’re the last person the other & Caterina has. But if he’s going to do this the Crow way, Illario has to die & Caterina will likely fall in the crossfire. Or, worse, she will never forgive him. It is the surest confirmation he is the monster everyone thinks he is. After all, only an abomination would kill all the family he has left. And because it’s Lucanis and it’s Rook, who just keeps sidestepping every excuse he can come up with, his last card is to show the monster behind the man. To show Rook the demon of Vyrantium.

In case you couldn’t tell, I love this mission!

[lynderman]

𝘼 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙀𝙛𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩 (Xavier Thorpe)

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Fem!Addams!Reader

Word Count: 2.8k+

Date Published: 12/9/22

Synopsis: You’ve always been 2nd place. First place for losers. Attending Nevermore was supposed to change that.

A/N: (I was so confident writing this, and I feel like I went down a rabbit hole because some shit doesn't even make sense. So idk if it’s good or not. It also isn’t proofread 💀)

Part 2

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Vi, are you still free after fencing today? I thought I’d take you up on that offer and go down to Jericho to get-“

“Sorry. I told Wednesday I’d meet her in the nightshades library to look for a certain book.” My smile instantly vanished as he said her name. It’s not that I hate her, no. I could never. We’re best friends! Well, as close as best friends could be to Wednesday Addams. I didn’t have a reason to hate her; But I did have more than enough to be jealous. Ever since we were kids she’s always been able to one-up me.

It started with small things like getting better grades in school. Then to committing higher and bigger crimes. And it eventually reached the point where I felt like everyone in the family preferred her to me. Even my own dad! Her precious ‘Uncle Fester’, the only one who made her smile. He made everyone smile though. Every time he came home from one of his jobs, I’d get a pat on the head and Wednesday would get a hug. His niece got more love and affection from him than his own daughter did.

I thought maybe, just maybe when I came to Nevermore I’d be able to fit in. Be my own person! Make my own friends, be someone who I wanted to be. Not living in the shadows of my cousin; Being known as ‘The other Addams?’ Or ‘Wednesdays’ Cousin!’ And I was for a while. For a whole year I was just known as Me. I wasn’t compared to anyone or told to be better. In fact I was great! Fantastic, even.

I’d made captain of the fencing team, like aunt Morticia. I was first chair in almost all my classes. I had friends of my own and was always asked to hang out. People were interested in me. They wanted me for me. Especially Xavier. God, Xavier. He was drop dead gorgeous. His long hair that framed his face so perfectly. His hazel eyes so full of hope and warmth. The smile that was always on his face when I walked up to him or when we hung out. He made me feel so happy and appreciated. Just loved and seen. I would do anything for him because I know he’d do the same for me!

Or so I thought.

The second that Wednesday showed up to Nevermore, any hopes I had of asking him out or just anything suddenly vanished. Like everyone else in my life, I was soon replaced by her darkening and compelling image. He became so infatuated with her. Our afternoon runs were taken away and replaced with him hanging out with her. He sat through and listened to her crazy theories all day and looked at her like she hung the stars herself. The same way he looked at me once.

My fists clenched my bag and I held back the urge to scream on the spot. Now the one time we were both free was taken away by her again? She wasn’t even a nightshade so that isn’t fair. “Have fun with that. I’ll be by the lake if you feel like I’m worth your time today.” My words seemed to get his attention because he finally looked up from his sketchbook. I caught a glimpse and saw it was an another drawing of Wednesday. He opened his mouth to say something but I walked off before he got the chance to. Or cry. Whichever came first at this point.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The sun shone directly onto my face as I continued to write down the finishing lyrics to my song. My plan for the day was to hang out with Xavier and show him my new music for my violin. He knew I played an instrument but he didn’t know what it was or that I sang. So I thought it’d be a good time to surprise him! But of course my plans were ruined thanks to Wednesday. Again.

Letting out a grunt of frustration, I threw my pen into the lake. “What’d the pen ever do to you?” My attention turned to Xavier’s voice behind me. I listened to the sound of the leaves crunch and stop before he sat down on my blanket beside me. I didn’t ask him to, but I always found it hard to be upset or angry with him. Peering over my shoulder he asked what I’d been writing. “Just some music. I was gonna go back to my dorm and see how it turned out.” He didn’t need to know I wanted him to go back with me.

“Really? Can I see it?” Hesitation filled my body but I still gave him the notebook. His hands flipped through my pages and the words. I prayed to god he didn’t under Latin. “You never told me you write music.” I shrugged and turned back to the lake. “You never bothered to ask.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

We sat at the lake for a while and just talked. It was nice; Feeling like I got my old friend back. The way he laughed at each joke I made and seemed to be genuinely interested in my topics made me realize how hard I’d fallen for him again. “Speaking of hair-“ He reached out to twirl the white strand in my black head of hair between his fingers. “Did you just decide it was a cool fashion statement or something?” I laughed lightly and shook my head.

“No, no. Back in 6th grade I was doing a science experiment, Y’know the one where you dissect frogs right? I was cutting him open and i just electrocuted myself without realizing it. That’s when I found out I’m like my dad. The whole lightning and shit. But I can do this weird thing with weather too where-“ I paused when I realized I was getting off track. “Anyways. I zapped myself and some shit happened with my hair when I did. It was only this piece though.” Laughing I turned the other way and buried my head into my knees. “I’ve tried to dye it back but it never works. All the other kids would make fun of me and say I’d get cancer or go bald. I dunno why though, that doesn’t make sense.”

What didn’t make sense was that I was basically Trauma dumping on Xavier for no reason. All he asked about was my hair and got some sob story in return. There was silence for a moment. I knew I overshared and he’d think I’m just some attention whore. It took me by surprise when he put his hand on mine, making me turn to face him. “I think it’s cool. Makes you stand out.” The blush that spread across my face was inevitable. Like an idiot I asked: “Really?”

A smile broke out in his face as he nodded. “Do you still wanna go to Jericho? The shuttle leaves in about 20 minuets? We can go to the weathervane and maybe check out that new music store?” My stomach was filled to the brim with butterfly’s, warmth spreading throughout it. Play it cool, play it cool. Don’t freak out. Just say that sounds fun. “Yes! Of course. I’d love to.” I mentally face palmed myself with the joy in my voice. It felt like a movie moment. Was this him asking me out on a date? Xavier finally got the balls to be the one to initiate it? No thoughts were going through my mind as my body leaned closer to his, him doing the same.

I could smell his cologne and feel his breath on my face; A mere 6 inches between my lips and his. Just as mine were to meet his, a phone rang. His phone. He blinked and apologized before picking it up.

“Hello? Enid? Since when did you call me? No, I’m not. She was busy so I’m at the lake, hanging out with-“ Xavier paused as Enid’s voice rose over the line, his brows furrowing as she spoke. I couldn’t hear what was going on. “Yeah, sure. Give me 7-8 minuets and I can. The quad or the courtyard? Mhm, sure.” He lowered his phone and hung up. “What’d Enid call about?” Standing up he began to brush himself off. “Wednesday asked her to call me since she doesn’t ‘want to be a slave to technology’. Said something about her finding a new lead on the monster and to meet her in the nightshades library.”

“But didn’t you earlier?” He shook his head. “No, she needed to do something else and talk to someone.” My lips pursed and watched as he grabbed his sketchbook from beside my bag. “Can we uh- rain check on Jericho?” All the butterflies and warmth my stomach were replaced with dread and insect repellent. “Again?” I muttered. “It’s nothing personal, I just need to-“

“No it never is with you is it? I mean do you even care about anyone or anything other than Wednesday?” The words left my mouth before I could process what I said. “Sorry?” Now I was standing up, arms crossed as I spoke. “Sorry? Oh shut up; Stop playing dumb. We both know you’re not so don’t try to bullshit your way out of this.” He took a step closer to me and looked down, irritation and confusion clouding his eyes. “What’re you talking about? What’s this even coming from? Why’re you getting so worked up about us hanging out?” Scoffing I took a step back from him.

“I’m getting worked up about this because you hang out with her all the time and not me! I’m constantly being ditched and put to the side cause you wanna go waste your time who doesn’t give a single fuck about you!”

“Don’t say that. She does but just act-“

“Acts distant and cold? Stand-offish and uninterested? She’s like that with everyone. What makes you think you’re any different to her? Do you think you’re special or some shit? Wednesday’s been like this her entire life and she’s certainly not going to change for some moron of a dude.” Xavier’s face only showed confusion as I spoke. “Oh come on. Don’t tell me you can’t put two and two together? Wednesday Addams; (Y/n) Addams? How many Addams’s in this school do you know? If you named more, I wouldn’t be surprised since you seem to pay attention to everyone else other than me.” “Not everything is about you (Y/n).” He snapped.

“You’re right. It’s not! It’s always about Wednesday. Everything is. It’s always ‘Oh, have you seen Wednesday? I’m looking for her.’ Or ‘Do you wanna see this new drawing of her? It looks better than the last!’ Anything that comes out of your mouth is about her! Have you ever noticed how you put me next to her? Below, If you will. She plays cello and you draw her. I play violin, but you never bothered to ask because you’re too busy talking about how good she sounds. You go with her to Jericho to get coffee while I’m left behind doing schoolwork. Everywhere I go I’m beneath her. I’m compared to her, I’m belittled because I’m not as edgy or mysterious as she is. My family seems to like her more too. My own father loves her more than me! Can you imagine that, Xavier? Having to live in the shadow of your little cousin because she’s so much better than you at everything? I thought the name I made for myself at Nevermore would stick! I’d have my own friends and interests and not be known as the other Addams girl. I thought that I could get away and have shit of my own! BUT NO. I CAN’T.”

The air around me felt chilly and vast, a small breeze inclining as my voice got louder. “But it’s never going to happen. Everyone will always choose her over me. I’ll always be second to her. And it’s not fair. It’s not. I try to hard at everything. Especially when making friends. I’m almost on my knees trying to get people to approach me but she just has to stand and glare at people and suddenly they’re wrapped around her finger. Like you. You’re just another string waiting to be pulled by her; Following and doing what she says like a lost puppy. You look at her with such admiration and longing in your eyes. Maybe if you turned your head the other way and fixed your eyesight, you’d see that’s how I look at you! If you weren’t so fucking blinded by her borderline manipulative tendencies you’d notice I’m the way with you you are with her.”

My hands were moving with immense exaggeration as I spoke. The feeling of static shooting through my veins when I threw them down to my sides in anger. “Look, I’m sorry. Why don’t we talk about this and-“ A short circuit of lighting extended from my fingers when I held my hand up to him. “This isn’t a two way conversation right now. It’s one where you listen to every word I say because that’s all I’ve ever done for you, especially ever since Wednesday’s gotten here-“

Speak of the devil, and she’ll arrive. Looking to my left I could see her standing a few feet away from us. “I think your feelings for Xavier are getting in the way of our goal, (Y/n).” I deadpanned. “Our goal?” She didn’t answer my question, only asking another one in its place.

“How would your father feel if he knew you were letting your emotions get the better of you?”

“Gee, I dunno. Why don’t you ask him since he was with you early in the nightshade’s library!” She said nothing. “He finally shows up after being on the run again and stops to say hi! Not to his daughter, but his niece.”

“It’s not my fault if Fester approached me and not you.”

“It’s never your fault is it? Nothing ever is. You’re just perfect Wednesday who’s above all others. Especially her cousin who’s done everything in her power to help her with her bullshit conspiracies. I’ve been on your side since day one. Believing in your shit when no one else would. And how do you thank me? By stealing the few people I have In my life away from me. Again and again. It’s a never ending cycle. And I never bother to break it because we’re family, Wednesday.” The overwhelming emotion of anger and hatred died down, the slight breeze fading completely. Now it was just cold and quiet. Water began to drop onto my clothes and belongings. When I looked up I realized It was raining; But only on me. As cliché as it sounds, there was a small storm cloud hovering above my head. Hence the weather thing I was telling Xavier about earlier.

“Do you know what you struggle with, (Y/n?).” Laughing, I faced Wednesday again. “No, but I’d love to hear your piercing insight on it!” “You don’t know when to turn your emotions on and off. You let them consume and confuse you. How you’re just a fool with a slow heart; Putting out love for others only to never get any back.” The rain became heavier as she spoke, each drop hitting harder against my face. “I understand that emotions are a foreign concept for you, Wednesday, but you don’t have a right to talk about mine if you don’t have any.” Is what I’d like to have said. But it isn’t. It was more along the lines of:

“Maybe you’re right. I do love too much because no one has ever given me any. I hope that one day you’ll think about all of the love I’ve given you, and maybe feel generous to reciprocate it.” Turning from her I grabbed my bag off the now drenched blanket and sling it over my bag. “The same goes for you, Vi. When you come to your senses and realize that I have and will still do anything to get a small sliver of your validation or time, my dorm room door will be open.” I meant to passive aggressively hand him his sketchbook back, but it was really just me shoving it into his chest. I didn’t dare look back at the two as I literally stormed off into the forest.

The sun still was shining around me even as I made my way back to the courtyard, through the quad, and up to my dorm. The cloud only got bigger when I was alone in my dorm room. Sitting in my shower I thought. Thought about how Wednesdays’ right. Despite ending up with nothing, I’ll still give everyone else everything I’ve never gotten in hopes someone will one day do the same.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[saberlight1]

— lost signals & tunes, coriolanus snow

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

warnings: slight tbosas spoilers, angst, mentions of violence, injustice in the districts, possessive!snow, trauma, kinda mean!snow, talks of a breakup, arguments, standard ballad of songbirds and snakes warnings.

authors note: i’m back for round 3!!! i’m so happy that you all like this series so far as much as i do. here are the links to part 1 & 2, if you missed them. this one is sad and angsty, i’m sorry. the song y/n sings is by frank santra! anyways, i hope you enjoy this one! much love.

masterlist

Since your last real conversation with Coriolanus, he had been acting different. He was colder, and you didn’t know if you were simply going crazy, or if he just going out of his way to ignore you.

But regardless, you were hurt. When you tried to speak to him, he would say he had somewhere to be. And maybe he did, but you just wished he’d spend time with you.

You missed him, really.

Lucy Gray frowned as she watched you from across the room. You and the Covey were all getting ready backstage at the Hob where you were set to perform shortly. Even if you were cousins, you and Lucy Gray were brought up as sisters and knew the other probably better than you knew yourselves.

She watched you as you were deep in thought, and she knew something was troubling you. She walked over, and with a click of her tongue she gained your attention.

With a raise of her eyebrows you already knew what she was thinking. “Lucy Gray, please. Not right now,”

She raised her hands up in surrender, sitting down next to you on the couch. “I was just gonna ask what was wrong,”

“I’m sorry,” You sighed, rubbing your temple. “I’m stressed out,”

“Talk to me,” She softly smiled, her hand coming up to comfortably rub your shoulder.

“Coriolanus has just been acting weird, and I don’t know why. I think.. I think when we were at the lake I said something that he didn’t like, or something.” You vented. “Just ever since we got back, he’s been off. Or maybe I’m just delusional.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at yourself. “Christ, Gray, I’m loosin’ it.”

She giggled. “You got a bad case of the love blues, it sounds to me, Y/N.” She repeated the same thing your mothers used to say all the time when talking about past relationships.

A small smile blessed your features. “I think you may be on to somethin’.” You sighed, again. “I just wish he’d at least talk to me, y’know? Let me know whatever I’ve done, so I can fix it, or if he wants to break up just fuckin’ tell me. I hate when shit just lingers.”

“I know.” She shook her head. “Listen, if he doesn’t realize how damn good he’s got it, then he ain’t worth it. You know better. And I know you two got history and what not, but if he stressin’ you out so bad you can’t even enjoy a performance, I’d say ya need to talk to the boy.” She explained, shrugging. “Or leave his ass. You deserve better,”

You chuckled. “Only you, Lucy Gray, could manage to make me laugh while talking about my relationship problems.” You shook your head, playfully.

A smile came back to her face. “You know it, now, c’mon we got a show to play.” She stood up, holding her hand out for you to take.

She brought you over to the rest of the Covey, Issac immediately bringing you into a side hug.

“Aye, sis, you want me to kick that boy’s ass?” He asked, smiling goofy.

You laughed. “No, please.”

“Alright, alright.“ He shook his head. “Let’s go, folks!”

Once you all were out on stage, all of the struggles and worries wrestling around your mind faded, and a smile brightly displayed on your face as you sang along with your family. You didn’t even realize how fast it was going by because you were enjoying yourself.

Until you saw his smirk in that crowd.

You were scanning the crowd as normal, loving to see all of different people coming to together to enjoy music when you saw him. He was in the back of the room, alone, his arms crossed over his chest as he smirked at you.

His gaze almost made you feel uneasy, his sharp eyes boring into yours. Lucy Gray wrapped up one of her songs, turning on her heel and winking at you, her signal to let you know it was your turn on the mic.

You sighed before standing up, grabbing your guitar and walking up to the mic.

“Hey, twelve,” You smiled, looking at the crowd. “How y’all doin’ tonight, huh?” They all cheered in return, making your smile grow bigger. “That’s what I like to hear! Alright, here’s the song.”

Over and over, I keep goin’ over the world we knew.

You began, singing deeply and sharply into the mic, staring into Coriolanus’ eyes.

Once when you walked beside me,

That inconceivable, that unbelievable world we knew,

When we two were in love.

Your eyes burned into his as the rest of the world seemed to fade away, leaving only you and him as you sang to him. He knew it was about him, most of your songs were.

And every bright neon sign turned into stars,

And the sun and the moon seemed to be ours.

Each road that we took turned into gold,

But the dream was too much for you to hold.

Your voice boomed across the pub, the couples holding each other and the singles downing their shots in misery. You touched all their hearts with the song, somehow. His eyebrows furrowed as he truly listened to the lyrics, seeing how you wrote about your love and pain, and he wondered if it was still about him.

I mean, he hadn’t hurt you, right? He didn’t think him ignoring you for a week or two would push you this far.

Now, over and over I keep goin’ over the world we knew.

Days when you used to love me.

Issac and Cece took over for the music break, as you turned to blink away the tears that threatened to spill.

And every bright neon sign turned into stars,

And the sun and the moon seemed to be ours.

Each road that we took, it turned into the gold,

But the dream was too much for you to hold.

The tears only got closer to dropping from your eyes as you kept singing, just trying to get through the song. You tried focusing on the beautiful music the Covey produced behind you and put your all into your singing.

Now, over and over I keep goin’ over the world we knew.

Days when you used to love me,

Over and over I keep goin’ over that world we knew.

You finished with one last strum of your guitar, and the melodies of Lucy Gray and Maudie Ivory next to you. The crowd erupted in cheers and claps.

“Thank you!” You smiled as the rest of your family joined you, bowing. After saying your goodbyes, you stalked off stage as fast as you could, ignoring the concerned gaze from Coriolanus.

“Your singing was beautiful, I love that song.” Lucy Gray said as she walked beside you. “But I do want to give that boy a stern talkin’ to for makin’ you feel that way.”

You grabbed her wrist. “No, Lucy. Let me talk to him.” She looked at you with raised brows, the pair of you exchanging words with your eyes. Eventually she nodded, stepping forward and letting you walk.

You walked through the corridor that led back out to the dance floor, your eyes looking for that familiar face. But it seemed to be that he found you before you could find him, the man already walking towards you.

You crossed your arms, turning on your heel to walk deeper into the corridor so no one would be around. You knew he’d follow, so you leaned against the wall, popping the gum in your mouth.

“There you are,” He called as he turned the corner, seeing you standing there. He walked over to stand in front of you. “Y/N, that song—”

“Cut the shit,” You cut him off. “What’s been goin’ on with you, Coriolanus?”

His eyebrows furrowed at your forwardness. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you avoidin’ me. You been actin’ weird since the lake, Coryo.” You sighed, pushing yourself off the wall to get eye to eye with the man before you. “If this is about what I said about runnin’ away..”

He rubbed his temple, staying silent.

“Coriolanus, do you expect me to enjoy life here? Watchin’ people get hung every other day, scared for my own damn life? My families lives?” You threw your arms out, scoffing. “Why would I want to stay?”

“Because of me!” He cut off your rant with a whisper yell. “I wanted you to want to stay, with me. Or.. come with me to the Capitol.”

“You know how I feel about that.”

“I know. And I wish I could change that.” He stepped forward a bit. “Because I don’t want to be away from you, Y/N.”

Your eyes softened. “Coryo, I don’t want to be away from you either. Hell, I’ve been thinkin’ about you for weeks just because you didn’t talk to me,” You bitterly laughed at your own foolishness. “But, look, if this is gon’ cause a problem between us, then maybe we should just call it off here, ‘cause even if it’ll hurt like hell, if we don’t got trust in each other then we got dirt.” You shrugged, even though the words you spoke felt like a dagger to the heart.

“No.” He shook his head immediately, his hands reaching out to grip your hips, almost seeming to make sure you wouldn’t run. “I’m not letting you go, no. Definitely not over this.”

“Then what do you want from me?” You asked, your eyes flickering between his. “You iced me out for 2 weeks because of what I said, then when I give you a solution, you say no?”

“Because that solution is us not being together.” He said, firmly. “That is the last thing I want. This whole thing started because I’m afraid of being away from you, Y/N.” He finally admitted.

You sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me that? We could’ve worked this out together.”

His hands slid up your body to cradle your face. “I was afraid. I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean for this. I didn’t mean to hurt you,”

You looked down. “You scared me, you asshole. I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

He frowned, tapping softly on your cheek to get your attention back onto him. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, I always want to be with you. We will figure this out, I promise you that. I.. I’m just not good with talking about things with people, y’know…”

A soft smile spread over your face. “Yeah, I know. Just.. talk to me next time, okay? I hate when we don’t talk.” You said, walking into his arms.

He sighed happily at the contact, nuzzling his face his your hair to inhale your scent. “I will, my love.” He sighed, pulling back and licking his lips. “That song, though, it was beautiful. What is it called?”

You continued to smile. “You didn’t figure it out? It’s called ‘The World We Knew’ and, before you even ask, yes, it’s about you.”

His smiled slowly faded. “I made you feel that way?”

You swallowed, your smile gone as well. “Coryo.. these past two weeks, I thought it was over between us. When I wrote that, I was trying to come to terms with it.”

“Well, now you know that we’ll forever be in that world we apparently knew.” He joked, making you giggle.

He leaned forward to place a loving kiss on your lips, causing you to moan against his lips. He pulled back at the noise, looking at you with a smirk. “I have just the idea to make it up to you,”

You laughed when you saw that glint in his eye, kissing him again. “Show me what you got, big boy.” 

[teacasket]

AITA for upstaging my partner’s aunt?

u/Complacent_Chicken915

genre: fluff au: non-idol au warnings: swearing word count: 0.7k   pairing: gn!reader x lee felix

Throwaway for obvious reasons. I (28M) am married to my partner (28). We dated for six years and got married this year. I’ve met their family many times at parties and gatherings. I used to bring brownies to the events but stopped after my partner’s Aunt Camille made rude comments about them. Before anyone asks, my brownies aren’t bad. I used to work part-time at a bakery in college, so I have some professional experience. The cousins love them, my in-laws love them, everyone but Camille thinks they’re great.

Some backstory about Camille: Camille is not her real name. It’s the name she picked for herself when she studied abroad in France thirty years ago in college. Camille thinks that because she spent three months in France, she’s more cultured about dessert than anyone else. She constantly talks shit about any dessert she didn’t make.

I stopped bringing my brownies because I was fed up with her comments. People were disappointed, but Camille’s so annoying that they understood. I just started dropping off the brownies at their houses instead.

During the last big family party three months ago, one of the cousins brought a homemade black forest cake. Of course, Camille belittled her. She made a sixteen year old girl cry! I usually try to stay out Camille's way, but what the fuck???

Last month, Camille invited us to her birthday party. We weren’t planning to go at first. But last night, Camille posted on Instagram the finished cake. To be honest, it looks ugly. For all her talk, she doesn’t know anything about decorating. So I decided to improve on her cake. After all, it’s her birthday.

Well, the party happened, and I brought a three tiered lemon cake with piped sunflowers. I even made some macarons for it. It was a pain in the ass to make, but it was all worth it to see Camille’s face when I walked in. Some of the family hadn’t seen the actual cake yet since Camille had it hidden away as a surprise, so they thought my cake was the birthday cake. Camille was livid, screaming at me for “upstaging me on her special day” and that she “knew [I] was an asshole from day one.” Her mom tried to calm her down, but she just got more upset. My partner and I left soon after.

I got a few angry texts later saying I shouldn’t have provoked her because I knew how she would react. Cakes are her thing too, so extra salt in the wound. I’ve been feeling a little guilty since other people are dealing with the blowback, not me. My partner doesn’t think I did anything wrong, but they also hate Camille, so I don’t know if I can trust their judgment on this. So Reddit, AITA?

Edit: Just wanted to answer a couple of questions. My partner was completely supportive of me making the cake. In fact, they showed me the post and suggested this was how I could get back at her. Yes, they’re petty, and that’s why I love them.

Partner’s family has always enabled Camille. It’s easier than confronting her, and they don’t want to cut her off because she’ll have no support system if they do. It’s mostly the older generation. The “kids,” aka the younger ones who are sick of her shit, want nothing to do with her but put up with it her for family’s sake.

We left the cake at her party. I don’t know what happened to it.

Edit 2: For privacy, I can’t share any pictures of the cake, but I promise mine was much better.

Update: The cousin who made the black forest cake texted me and said she liked the cake. She asked if I could give her some piping tips. No word from Camille yet, but her brother called to apologize for her behavior.

Update 2: A few people texted their support, and an uncle apologized for his angry texts. Partner thinks I shouldn’t accept it, but the thought still counts. Apparently, my in-laws took the cake home. They said it was delicious.

Update 3: Camille called and screamed at me some more. Until I apologize, she won’t attend any more family gatherings if I’m there, so I guess I won’t be seeing ever again, thank God. Thanks for all your feedback and comments.

[devastator1775]

Nix comes out with the truth (Murder Drones Nix Doorman AU)

Summary: Nix had it all planned. She'd go to her parents, sit them down and tell them. Plain and simple. Just …come out with the thing that had been in the back of her head for so long now. Simple, right? …. Unless, of course, her nerves get the better of her.

Nix paced from one end of her room to the other, muttering to herself. She had been this for at least half an hour, since she had come back home from school. She had decided to finally come clean to her parents and reveal something that she had been struggling with for a few weeks now. On her way home she was filled with confidence and determination. She would stand in front of her parents and proudly make her announcement.

And then she came home.

And nerves overtook her.

Hence why she was pacing around her room, almost chewing off one her fingers.

“I mean, there no way they’d be mad, right? I mean, nah. Not my parents. I mean, they love Aunties V and Lizzy. No, it’ll be fine.” Nix said to herself, bringing herself to smile confidently …before it faded to a worried grimace. “But what if they don’t? What if they hate me for it? What if-“

“Dude, you’re going to blow a fuse like that!” a voice called out, making Nix jump in surprise.

Nix took a deep breath and turned to her desk, where her phone still connected to Avery – her honorary cousin and the one person she trusted who had gone through something similar. Which is why she had called them, yet somehow that little event had completely evaded her mind while she was nervously talking to herself. She walked over to her desk and picked up her phone. “Sorry, Avery, forgot you were here …so to speak.”

“Uh-huh, I had that feeling, miss talks-to-herself-a-lot.” Nix could practically hear the shit-eating grin that Avery had on their face right now. The thought made her feel a little better. “Honestly, Nixie, just get it out. Better to throw it all in the open, than to let it bottle up inside where it can build up and burst. Trust me on that.”

“Uh, the way I remember, Ave, is that your moms were walking in on us while you were trying out some of Aunt Liz’s old school uniforms.” Anne chuckled. “And you were making so many panicking excuses that you suddenly just blurted out the truth. There was no ‘build up and burst’ with you.”

“My point exactly!” Avery shouted. “And after a good cry and a long talk, everything worked out between us. Just like -*snap* - that!.”

“Still totally different than what I’m gonna do.” Nix flopped down on her bed, staring at her ceiling. “You got caught – you did, don’t deny it – and it worked out. What if-?”

“It will work out!” Avery repeated themselves. “Nix, your parents are, like, totally the nicest people I know – and I’m counting my mom V with that.”

Nix chuckled. “Yeah …can you still believe people saying that she was so much worse back when?”

“I still don’t believe she was a Disassembly Drone at all. My mellow, librarian mom …like that? Right, no way. It’s like- yatatata, don’t change the subject!.” Avery scolded – they sounded so much like V right now.

“It was worth a try …” Nix grinned. Her audio receptors picked up the sounds of doors closing outside her room. She took a deep breath. “Mom and dad are here. Wish me luck, Avery.”

“Luck!”

Nix ended the call. She closed her eyes for a few moments as she gathered her courage.

“Nix, you here, Sparkplug?” She heard her father call out to her from their living room.

“Y-yeah, in my room!” Nix answered, hoping she really didn’t sound as nervous as she thought how nervous she sounded. She took a deep, final – hopefully not that final – breath and walked out her room. “Hey, I’ve got something to tell y-“

The rest of her words got caught in her throat as she immediately felt her confidence fade when she saw her mother laying down on the couch with her head resting on N’s lap and the latter pressing an icepack against his wife’s forehead. “E-everything alright, mom?”

Uzi let out a soft groan. “Yeah, just …a [parental advisory] day at work.”

“Uzi.” N scolded, despite the grin tugging on his lips.

“What, her censor routines are still powered on.” she paused for a moment before she threw a glance at her teenage daughter. “Are they?”

“Y-yes, sure …” Now they were, at least. Nix had figured out a long time ago where those hidden settings were in her programming. Little trick that Avery had taught her, so they could watch R-rated action movies with unfiltered audio when their parents were out.

“Good girl.” Uzi closed her eyes again, smiling contently as N caressed her hair. “You said you wanted to tell us something, Nix?”

Panic welled up in Nix’s core. “I-it can wait.” She winced when she heard her voice crack in such an obvious way and of course her parents had heard it too. She tried to back away as she saw her mother sit up straight, giving her that motherly ‘something-is-wrong’ look. “I’ll just go back to my room and-“

“Nicole…” N spoke up, his voice soft and calm but it made Nix nevertheless freeze in her tracks, her entire body going rigid as she let out a surprised squeak.

“Nix, what’s the matter?” Uzi asked, clearly concerned about her daughter’s current state.

“N-nothing.” Nix fiddled with her fingers.

“Did something happen at school?” N asked.

“No, honestly.” Why did she sound so desperate to avoid this? Okay, maybe she was kinda trying to avoid it, but … She squeaked again when she suddenly saw her mother right in front of her. Her mother could be so fast when she wanted to be. A pair of hands gently held her arms.

“Nix?”

It was like a heavy weight had nestled inside her forehead, as Nix couldn’t bare herself to lift up her head to watch her mother in the eye.

“Honey, did something happen?” Uzi asked softly. “Did someone hurt you?”

Nix shook her head. “It’s …” Her voice sounded so weak, she hated it.

N ushered Uzi and Nix to come back to the couch, where Uzi gently sat her daughter down while she and N knelt in front of her.

N placed a hand under Nix’s chin and gently lifted it up, making her look at them. Nix didn’t know why but his gently smile always had such a soothing effect on her. She couldn’t help but to smile …but just a bit.

“Oh, I do think I see a little smile under all that gloom.” N joked, chuckling as his wife shoved him in the ribs.

“Nix, your dad’s horrible jokes aside,“ she threw her husband a teasing sideways glance. “We just want to know what is bothering you.”

“W-why would anything bothering me?” Nix asked, playing nervously with her hair.

“You’re playing with your hair.” N pointed out. “You do that when you’re nervous.”

“Like when you were lying when you got an F on your homework because your forgot it.” Uzi added. She crossed her arms, giving her daughter a stern look. “Is this something like that?”

“No …it’s …completely different.” Nix admitted. “It’s just …difficult to find the words?”

“Just that?” N asked, placing a hand on Nix’s knee. “It looks like a bit more than ‘not finding words’, though….”

Nix knew they were gonna grill her until they got answers. She knew they did it because they loved her and they wanted her to be okay, but …no, no ‘but’. Because of that, she needed to tell them the truth. They did everything for her and for that, Nix needed to be honest with them.

“Okay, okay …” Nix took a deep breath, slowly releasing it as she tried to steady her core, so it wouldn’t feel like it was going to burst out of her chassis at any moment. “There is something I need to tell you, but …”

“Yes?” Uzi pressed softly, trying her utmost best not to push beyond Nix’s comfort level. She knew – out of personal experience – how a teenager could lash out when pressed beyond their limit of comfort. Robo-God knows that her dad had faced the brunt of her anger so often …completely justified, of course

“I …I’m scared.” Nix confessed.

“Scared?” Uzi asked, surprised. “Of what?”

“Of us?” N asked.

“Of how you’ll react …”

Uzi and N looked at each other, before turning back to Nix. Uzi held her child’s hands between her own. “React to what, Nix?”

No turning back now. Time to come clean. The curtain falls. The code cracked. The teenager running out of expressions to use to stall for time. One final, deep breath.

“For the last …couple of months, I’ve been …noticing things. Noticing certain …people. Certain …g-genders?” Nix began. Something in her core jumped when she saw her parents’ expression change, even though she couldn’t decipher what emotion it was. “I noticed that I’ve been looking at the girls in my class a little more, a little longer. And when I realized that was happening, I decided to look some things up, got a few digi-books recommended I should read. And, you know, once I remembered that I never really looked at boys that same way, I ….”

She gulped, trying to find out her voice again while she was figuring out what her parents were thinking. Maybe they wanted to say something about what she’d been telling them so far?

…

No? Okay, back to speaking, then.

Nix took a deep breath. Her entire body was tingling, and she felt like her system was going to shut down. “I …I like girls. Really like them. Like …I’m attracted to them. Romantically. I’m often fantasizing about holding hands with girls, kissing girls, dating girls.  I-I-I…I’m gay. I’m a lesbian.”

Nix figured that that knot inside her stomach should have loosened up by now, but it felt tighter than ever. She couldn’t feel her legs. She was sure that she was mere moments away from passing out due to stress related energy loss.

Why weren’t her parents saying something?

They were just staring at her?

Processing the information? Judging? Trying to figure out if they really heard what they just heard?

“W-well?” Nix voice was barely audible.

She felt her core jump when N suddenly stood up and walked away from the couch, hand pressed against his mouth. Was he in shock? Getting angry? Was he disappointed in his only daughter?

A pair of hands fell on Nix’s shoulders, making her jump. Oh yeah, her mom was still her too. Uzi was gazing down at the floor, her expression hidden from the anxiety-riddled teenager. She wanted to call out to her mom, but it seemed that Nix’s voice abandoned her at the moment, only coming out as a barely audible squeak.

“Nicole Doorman …I can’t believe you’d do this to me.”

Nix’s core sank and ice filled her entire being.

“I can’t believe you made me lose the bet.”

Wait, what?

A small, slightly apologetic grin, appeared on Uzi’s lips. “I mean, I thought that, at least, you’d be bi, like me.” She sighed. “But it seems your father had it at the right end and now he’s never going let me live it down.”

“Uzi, when did our daughter ever show any sort of interest in boys?” N asked, as he turned towards his wife and daughter with a massive grin on his face.

“There was …” Uzi paused. “Well, I guess that doesn’t really count, since that person is going by ‘she’ and ‘Sally May’ now, but –“

“Excuse me!” Nix called out, announcing that she was still in the room. “Very surprised and very emotional adolescent Drone sitting here!”

“Oh honey …” Uzi caressed her daughter’s cheek. “I’m sorry. We should be handling this a little better, shouldn’t we?”

“Yeah, you got that right!” Nix’s emotion were all over the place. Confusion. Anger. Relief. Many others. She took a deep breath before stating her question. Which was, very simply: “You knew?”

“We didn’t ‘know it’ know it, but we had our suspicions.” N confessed.

“HOW?” Nix suddenly realized the bombshell her mother had dropped earlier. “Wait, you’re bi, mom?”

“Not really the topic at hand, isn’t it?” Uzi quickly stated, blushing softly and ignoring the teasing chuckle of her husband. Uzi took her daughter’s hands in her own, giving them a soft squeeze. “Nix, our little Sparkplug, we …are your parents. You are your daughter. We know you. We notice things, even if you don’t realize we’re looking.”

“But that book titled ‘Your robo-sexuality and you. A quest for LGBTQIA+ understanding’ you forgot to put away and was laying in the middle of your bed, gave us some clues as well. You really should clean up your room more often.” N confessed with a soft chuckle. “But even without it, we had a feeling.”

Nix’s eyes hollowed. They found that book? She was sure that she had …hang on, not the pressing issue. “So, why didn’t you say anything?” she asked, still blushing.

Uzi cackled for a moment, before she composed herself. “Sorry about laughing like that, but …we thought that ’Honey, can we have a really awkward talk around the diner table about your unlocking sexuality?’ wasn’t really something you were waiting for.”

“So we waited for you.” N smiled reassuringly at Nix. “Until you were ready to come to us.”

“Honey, we are so proud of you, for coming out to us, despite being so anxious and so scared.”

“Yeah, we kinda pressed on the issue there, but-“ he grinned sheepishly when Uzi shot him a scolding look. “Shutting up. But, like Uzi said, we are so proud of you.”

“And we love you.” Uzi held her daughter’s head between her hands. “No matter who you decide you love.”

Flabbergasted. Stumped. Surprised. Baffled. Dazed. Perplexed. Puzzled. Dumbfounded. Flustered. Stupefied. Awestruck. Floored. There were so many words for what Nix was experiencing right now. All of that fear and anxiety she had been feeling. All the buildup leading to her coming-out moment. For days, she had been working up the courage to confess to her parents. Out of all the reactions that her parents could give her …’we had a feeling’ was one she didn’t count for.

It was …laughable.

A snort escaped her. She tried to apologize, but then a giggle got out, followed by another. She tried to keep it in, but she suddenly bursted out in laughter …for a few moments, before it slowly changed into a sob …then another sob. She started crying, wailing as digital tears started to flow down her visor when the emotions that she had been experiencing these last few moments finally found release.

Two pair of arms wrapped around her, each pulling her close. Her dad was stroking her back, holding her head against his chest. Her mom was her hair while whispering words of comfort to her.

“’m s’rry.” Nix tried to choke out, gasping for air – despite not really needing it – and trying to calm herself down.

“Shhh, let it out, Nix.” Uzi whispered warmly, as she gently pulled her daughter against her chest. She couldn’t help but smile as Nix clung to her clothes, sobbing out her apologies. A tear was forming in her eyes as well.

“Our strong girl.” N stated softly but with pride in his voice. The grin on his face made Uzi think back on their wedding day. It was the same goofy, happy smile back then too.

Nix didn’t know how much time had passed. It felt like she had been crying for hours, even though she figured there hadn’t even half an hour passed.. Her sobbing had died down to small hiccups, her head still resting comfortably on her mother’s lap while the latter was stroking her daughter’s hair.

“Are you feeling better, Nix?” Uzi asked when Nix finally found the energy to sit up again.

“Mm-hmmm.” Nix rubbed her visor. Her eyes felt dry, even though it's not really possible. She took a deep breath and smiled at her mom. “sorry for breaking down like that.”

“Honey, never apologize for things like that. Never to us.” Uzi stated, caressing her daughter’s cheek. It didn't show, but Uzi had been crying as well, as did N. “It was an emotional rollercoaster, after all.”

“Besides, you should’ve seen Uzi’s outburst when we-“

“Bite me, husband!” Uzi spat out but the grin on her face betrayed that she didn’t mind. She turned to Nix with a grin. “So …is there someone special?”

Nix instantly blushed, playing with a strand of her hair. “N-no …not really.”

“Oh?” N almost seemed disappointed. “No-one I can give a ‘what are your intentions with my daughter?’ speech to yet?”

“I thought there was, but …turns out she doesn’t – how did Avery put it? – play for the same team.”

“Wait, you told Avery before us?” Uzi asked, a hint of a teasing grin playing on her lips. “I don’t know how to feel about that.”

“Avery is kinda an expert – or the closest thing to it – on the subject of ‘life-changing realizations and how to present them to your parents’, y’know.”

“Some expert.” Uzi snorted. “Did V and Lizzy walk in on them?”

“Yeah, while you two were trying on dresses?”

“That’s what I told them, too.” Nix giggled. Her expression turned bittersweet. “But …I don’t know, it felt like they were the only ones I could go with this, quote-unquote, “problem” of mine. We’ve always been each other’s confidants, y’know?”

“Did V and Lizzy know before us?” Uzi asked sharply.

“Avery swore she wouldn’t tell before I told you guys, but, eh …you know how Auntie V can get when she sniffs a secret.”

“Well, if V knows, she’d keep it a secret, too.” N stated as he ruffled Nix’s hair, much to her chagrin. He scratched the side of his chin before adding. “Robo-Lord knows she knows how to keep ‘em.”

“Huh? What does that mean?” Nix cocked her head in confusion, while Uzi threw N a warning glare.

“Uh, nothing.” N quickly answered, as digital beads of sweat ran down his visor. “Something between the three of us.”

Nix rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

“Well, someone is back to being a moody teenager.” Uzi grinned. “Feeling better?”

“Feeling great!” Nix stated cheerfully, and it couldn’t be more true.it was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt like she could fly – if only she had inherited wings like her dad, but at least she could dream.

Nix grinned as she thought about the advice that Avery had given her. Who knew they were right, although in a different order: A good talk, a long cry and everything worked out great.

*SNAP*

Just like that.

[mango-fizz]

ohh yeah im reminded, your pinned is your (very cool) agent headcanons, do you have any for the idols you'd wanna talk about? i'm wondering

i KNOW you gotta have some for Shiver at least

sorry for the late reply ^-^

AAAAAAAAAAAAA ok.

Callie:

Let's address the elephant in the room here let's talk about the Great Splatfest War of 2016. So, obviously, Callie lost. The Squid Sisters Stories permanently changed my brain chemistry fr. Marie doesn't even know how her cousin is doing. She wonders if she hates her. She wonders if maybe it's her fault for winning that they're drifting away. And Callie never gives any indication of how she feels about it. They literally go out to eat together, go shopping and hang out just like old times, and they don't talk about it, cause things are fragile between them, even if they don't realize it, and Callie is fine! Everything is fine. Sure Marie is looking a little more down than usual but she's probably just tired. Everything is fine, Callie is fine. 

Just don't think about how they're too busy to see each other anymore, how they barely talk anymore, how the Splatfest results deems Marie legally better than Callie, how maybe this idol shit isn't really worth it anymore, especially not if it's just going to be Callie, and Marie. They're supposed to be "The Squid Sisters," right? They're in this together, right? But still she says nothing. Because she’s Callie! The happy fun energetic lovable goofball that makes everyone smile! But really she's so sick of it. She's sick of the cameras, and she's sick of people bringing up her loss and she’s sick of feeling jealous of Marie. 

She feels guilty about it, really, how could she feel that way towards her sister? It's not right. She's sick of it, but it's so drilled into her it's like second nature to smile and nod during talk shows, or give the same lighthearted and agreeable response of “Team Callie did their very best, and we’ll get 'em next time! ⭐” But when Octavio offers her a deal, regardless of whether or not she knew she would be hypnotized, she takes it, because she needs an out. And she certainly isn't telling Marie. 

Now this was before, of course. It's not like that anymore. But I'd say she’s still the best at getting into “idol mode” out of all of them, with Shiver as a close second. I have a friend who thinks it's hilarious how quickly I switch from “AARRGHGH FUCKKKKK” to “Well anyway let’s do something else now” in like a second, it's a pretty funny bit imo but like Callie does this professionally. I think she prolly has a lot of pent up anger she likes to release in turf wars with her big ass dynamo lmao. Also she’s older than Marie. 

Marie:

Marie really blames herself for everything lmao. Her fault for winning, her fault for not checking in with Callie, her fault that Octavio broke out and took Callie with him. Maybe she should've been more attentive, more considerate. Maybe she shouldn't have talked to Callie that way, before, maybe she should've appreciated their relationship and let her know how much she cared, how much she loves her. Maybe Callie really does hate her. She would deserve it, honestly. 

I already said most of the Callie v Marie thoughts, so I don't wanna be redundant. They made up and became best friends again yippee! I think maybe Marie is a little Extra attentive to Callie now as a result though.

What else… hmmmmm Marie likes to drink. This is more of an inside joke than a headcanon, but honestly it might be real… oh also, Marie learned to shoot from her grandpa since they both use chargers. According to Callie, Marie can look at spreadsheets for hours without getting tired, and I think that's so sexy. But she's also notoriously bad at keeping a healthy sleep schedule lmao. Coffee. 

I think Marie has generally mellowed out since the whole incident, but it just kinda comes with growing up, yknow? She still definitely keeps her dry sarcastic humor though. Just less mean. She has perhaps like a performatively reluctant soft spot for Deep Cut. She might feel strangely responsible for them as their boss.

Pearl:

I don't acknowledge the splatoon manga but i think Emperor and Prince (Prinz?) being Pearl’s little brothers is so adorable. She thinks they're very cute, whenever they see each other she pinches their cheeks type shit, and they're all “wahh sis you're embarrassing meee” and so on and so forth. Pearl and Marina live together in Pearl’s mansion, yes? Yes. Maybe she likes to spoil Marina with gifts, which she sheepishly accepts. After the events of Octo Expansion, she lets Eight stay with them for a while as she gets her bearings in Inkopolis.  

Marina:

I don't know why but I lk don't really have many hcs about marina idk maybe she's just perfect the way she is. I think she teaches Eight Inklish. Eight probably looks up to her a lot since they have some (pretty important) things in common, and Marina absolutely does not take that fact for granted. She wants to be the best role model she possibly can, not just for Eight but also for any Octoling who escapes the domes.

Frye:

Ok so Frye was raised by her grandpa cause her parents spend most of their time traveling. She has one younger brother and two younger twin sisters. Her grandfather owns a dance school I think? Frye would often skip out on practice. These aren't really hcs they're actually straight up canon I just need to remember wtf is going on lmao

Ok so I think frye is the leader of deep cut

I KNOW I KNOW JUST WAIT LISTEN

I simply think she has leader potential. I'm a really big fan of characters with outwardly laid-back and cheerful personalities being quite terrifying when they get serious. And especially considering Frye’s home life, I think she probably has that grandfatherly wisdom to her yknow what i mean? She'd probably get along pretty well with Cuttlefish somehow,, that would be funny. She comes up with the escape plans for Deep Cut’s raids, she's good at improvising and sticking to her decisions. It’s like driving a car, once you make the decision to change lanes you have to stick to it and you can’t hesitate or else you'll crash. She’s different from Shiver in this aspect, but I’ll get more into that later. And then at the end Shiver and Big Man are all frazzled n shit and Frye is perfectly intact and she's like "See? Told ya it'll be fine!"

I think Frye has the, how do you say, oldest child tendency to become a weird parental figure to their younger siblings? Maybe not quite to that extent, but she definitely feels a certain . Something like that. Maybe. Not like her parents are ever around much either, and her grandpa’s getting old. 

But between bandit stuff and Splatsville duties I imagine it can be kind of difficult to keep up! I actually can’t decide if Deep Cut live in their respective clan estates or if they all move out into a rinky dink apartment to focus on their own things. I mean, their clans are the most important in Splatsville I Assume, right? Like it's probably like a pretty big generational household type shit right? I imagine this is where Deep Cut grew up, but maybe as they matured and decided they would do music (and bandit) stuff they all moved in together? That's sort of what I have in my mind. 

Big Man:

Wait isn't he literally the owner of like a dance school ..? or a music school..? No, it was a dance school. That's so crazy lmao. Kind of hard as fuck. Idk what to write for big man i'm gonna be real. I think he often watches out for the other two cause they tend to be reckless of course. But when it comes to protecting them he would literally do anything. 

This is crazy but he kind of reminds me of Min Yoongi. They're both well known music producers with many collabs under their belt, they're both kind of quiet mellow individuals and care deeply for their band members. Can play many instruments. Highly intelligent . Should BM have a rapper debut. who knows 

Shiver:

Let's get this out of the way first. I am projecting onto shiver every second of the day 24/7 365 even right now as we speak. Not everything, mind you, but certain things. And you'll never know which ones hehehehe 😈

So I think Shiver might have had a pretty strict home life. Now I don't know how she feels about her parents, she's never told me, but what I do think is that she has huge perfectionist habits. Huge. There's not much room for mistakes in her life. She likes to be good at things, and if she's not, then she'll practice and practice and practice until she gets it . Perfectly. Even if it means sacrificing other things, sometimes. She liked pleasing her parents. Good grades, good Stringer skills, good singing, good training with Master Mega. Sometimes it was a little overbearing. Maybe she doesn't want to be perfect all the time. But she has to be, because she's a Hohojiro.

So Shiver was the one most excited about moving out of the clan estates, but somehow I think she manages to keep a good relationship with her parents. Maybe. But still I think she has a lot higher expectations, not just for others but also for herself.

Like I mentioned before, when she's on stage, "the show must go on" is the number one thing. However, off stage, she does have the tendency to get easily frustrated, and she's also very competitive. Sometimes her emotions get the better of her and she can act quite impulsively. 

Shiver had long tentacles when she was younger, then cut them short as an adult.

She's also the youngest sibling. I kind of have the idea that when she was younger she was very uptight and kinda stuffy ? But when she met Frye and Big Man she started opening up more and being more relaxed and outgoing. I think she has so much shark merch.

She definitely likes the attention (and money) she gets from being an idol lmao. I think Shiver is highkey a fr-- [i am dragged off stage]

Now I will link fics I have written that might be relevant Maybe.

thank u for reading im not sure what counts as canon and what counts as hc so i might be missing some things but i did my best to explain what goes on in my brain 😖😖😖 hopefully it makes sense

[lena-rambles]

eris <3

yoo i'm really bad at making wip intros so i'ma just do this lol

eris!! my happy indulgent wip!! i'm excited so here's an aesthetic and let's gooooo

what is it?

i wanted to write an unapologetically evil character, in a be very gay do much crimes sort of way, so behold-

what if someone like azula was a cousin of a noble family, grew up in a big city... and was sent to live in a small town when she was 12?

lyssa is that person, and her goal is to grow into her true potential as a leader by taking over tallia and ruling it. lol. there’s an amalgamation of reasons: seeking status, bad habits, a superiority complex, and boredom. also feeling like she's unworthy if she fails... there's a lotta shit going on in her head ngl

where is it?

so for meta reasons (i want tallia to be in the same world as my other medieval fantasy love) tallia happens to be nestled in a south american climate. not my expertise (i'm canadian baby) but i'm looking forward to it! lyssa's hometown is in a savanna near the rainforest, and she moves to the edge of the desert. big change, she ain't happy.

who is it?

lyssa ; the pov character, the source of everyone's troubles. the driving force of the tragedy. she could almost be good: she’s efficient, determined, hardworking, honest, reliable... except for the teeny tiny little fact that she very much craves power above all. azula, macbeth, or tigerclawstar coded, if you will. specifically tiger in his goldenflower era bc he did love his family but chose his ambitions over them with really terrible rationalizations

rieka ; the runaway girlfriend who could be "good" but a life without lyssa is not worth living. her devotion and love dooms her to remain at lyssa's side even as the flames consume them. has a werewolf-flavoured arc of eldest sisterdom, à la caterina algren.

jesper ; the if-oxford-existed cousin, who may have been too hasty in dogging lyssa's heels. perhaps his grandmother was right when she said his soft heart would be his greatest curse. now, his only option is to fight and lie and hurt and lie until he no longers haunts himself. songs are "bad people" (lauren aquilina) and "gold" (imagine dragons).

final words

surprise surprise i made a pinterest board

uhh yeah that's it! currently have reblogs queued up that had been on @lena-otherwips + i will try to just have casual posts as i feel like sharing stuff so yeee

if you'd like to know more feel free to ask! and if you want to be tagged and whatever let me know

tschüss ^^

taglist ; @inseasofgreen

[burninghorizon]

Hello hello! I'm Nexus, I'm an adult(26) and I use any pronouns. You've found my spiritual blog focused on astral projection and alterhumanity. I follow from @birdwizardofficial.

I'm often hanging out in the astral in the Astral Harbour! Here's the discord:

I'll get the important stuff out of the way first:

Although some posts here have a humorous tone, all of this is serious metaphysical work. None of this is LARPing or imaginary.

Reality shifters DNI if you don't want to have a bad time.

Minors DNI please, I talk about adult stuff here.

Godkins/Deitykins who demand they be worshipped will be blocked.

Alterhumans who think all of humanity is bad or evil will be blocked.

Spiritual bigots(eg: people who hate demons) will be blocked.

If all of that is cool with you, please feel free to ask about or comment on what I do. I don't bite.

I talk a lot about my soul family here, I'll introduce them!

Mother: Hekate

The Goddess Hekate had a hand in creating my soul, and she's married to my father. She's stern, but gentle, and most of the magic I do was learned from her.

Father: Dante

My father is a demon whose recorded name won't be shared here, he goes by the name and face of Dante from DMC for privacy reasons, and their personalities are practically the same. I am so happy to be reunited with him, he makes me feel so happy and loved. He's the best dad ever. He has a blog now! @redhotandready

Uncle: Vergil

My uncle is my father's twin, he's also a recorded demon but we're calling him Vergil. He used to scare the crap out of me due to his resting bitch face but he's actually nice. An archivist who's very good at his job. Has an excellent sense of fashion and a good taste for teas.

Cousin: Lian

My cousin through paternal bonds, Lian is the best chaos homie anyone could ask for. They're responsible for reuniting me with the family so I'll always be grateful. Damn, don't cry now.... Anyway, they're incarnated like me, and you can find them at @ascending-sun-descendant .

Brother in law: Kagemi

Sometimes I forget there's a stereotype of hating your in laws because of this man. Kagemi is just so sweet and supportive, truly a man my cousin deserves, and one of my biggest enablers supporters. He can be found at @redclothedghost .

Sister in law: Hikari

My wonderful sister in law whom I respect very much. She scares the shit out of me and if you're wise you'll be a little scared of her too. She's at @poisondancer .

Me: Nexus

I'm unsure of where my journey is taking me, all I know is that I live for being on the horizon.

Fiancee: Blake

My first love and soon-to-be addition to our family via marriage, he's a sincere man of unimpeachable character, and the reason the rose is my favorite flower. A fae royal who is proficient in swordplay and poetry. He comes from a culture which despises humans, making him one of the odd ones for interacting with us at all.

Boyfriend: Vadim

One of the Vanir who, for some reason, has decided I am worth his time. He works with humans and aids in matters requiring fertility. He likes elk and hollyhocks, and annoying me.

Girlfriend: Lady

A fascinating woman who is a thousand times cooler than me. Knows more about and owns more guns than me, which is really saying something. She prefers to keep to herself.

[letitiawrightswifey]

Nightmares and Love

Summary: Shuri has been having panic attacks and bad dreams after the events of Wakanda Forever, and her seeing Killmonger in the Ancestral Plane. But luckily, Riri is there to comfort her and love her when she needs it.

Warning: Mentions of death, panic/anxiety attacks, heartbreak.

NOTE: This took me forever to write, and I DIDNT PROOF READ IT! So please bare with me, hope you enjoy it!

SHURI’S POV

“Good to see you again little cousin. Even though I’m disappointed in you,” Killmonger said in my dream. I’m confused as to why I keep seeing him after everything I’ve been through. I mean I did the right thing to save my people, to save my nation, to prevent an eternal war. “I thought you told me that you was gonna handle business, like me,” he continued. “You said that Namor would beg you for mercy, as you stand and watch as he dies. Whatever happened to that?” he asked.

“I did it to save my home. My people, my nation…everything I have left. It was my duty to do what’s best for those things, rather than myself. No matter how much I wanted to do it, I couldn’t.”

He scoffs, and sucks his teeth, shaking his head as he condescends me. “This is exactly the problem with you and your family. Y’all try to be so noble, always thinking about other people who probably don’t even give a damn about you. Weren’t one of the tribe leaders trying to give your right to the throne to Okoye behind your back? Ha, yeah, they ain’t worth shit. Everytime your family tries to do something for their nation, or some righteous shit, they end up in the grave. It’s only a matter of time you’ll end up just like them. Your already alone… and your weak. So let me ask you this, was letting him live really worth it?”

He says all this as he’s walking slowly towards me, as I take steps back. I’m on the verge of tears, and my breathing pattern increases more and more. I’m sweating profusely. My heartbeats out of my chest and then…

RIRI’s POV

I’ve always been a light sleeper ever since I was a kid. At times I could even hear a pin job, or my brother stealing snacks from the kitchen during the middle of the night. Which is why it didn’t take a lot for me to hear a scream from another room. I immediately shot up, and rushed out of the room to see where it was coming from. I knew that scream from anywhere, it had to be Shuri. It was a raspy, deep voice filled with heartbreak and fear. Dashing through the hallways, I decided to check the lab, since she spends most of her time there. Sure enough, when I opened the door, she was right there. Her back was faced towards my direction. Rocking back and forth, breathing as fast as a person who had just run a marathon.

I dash over to her, noticing she was definitely under distress. “Shuri, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” I say as I reach to put my hand of her back, but she quickly turns around to reveal the tears in her eyes. She frantically backs away from me, as she then places her hand over her heart, sweating, heavily breathing, and sobbing all at once.

This absolutely broke my heart to see her like this. In pain, in panic, in grief. Tears started to form in my eyes and my lip begins to quiver. She now has her eyes close shut, and I take the chance to move closer to her. Sitting down at her level, I take the hand on her chest off as I replace it with my head. I then wrap my arms around her waste to fully embrace her. I can feel her heart beat now, and it was loud and so fast, I fail to comprehend how she could survive off of this much distress. I bury my head in chest, and the world just pauses for a moment. It’s just us two, alone together, being there for one another….that’s how I’ve always wanted it to be like.

“It’s okay Shuri, just breathe. I’m here, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. Just keep breathing,” I say. And she follows, breathing in through her nose, and out through her mouth. I notice that her breathing and her heart beat begins to slow as she wraps her arms around me now. I feel warm, cozy, and most of all loved at that moment. But all I could thinking about is if I’m giving the same feeling to Shuri right now.

SHURI’S POV

I’ve never felt so safe in someone’s arms since my mother was still a live. Riri gave me this sense of peace, just by her presence alone. Her slowly caressing back back with her hands, her head on my heart, as she calms me down. But I can hear her small sniffles along with mine. And now I feel even more bad than I did before. Not only did I wake her up and made her feel obligated to comfort me, but now my negative emotions and grief are rubbing off to her. Bast, why am I like this? What is wrong with me? Why can’t I be as strong as my mother, my baba….my brother? Or maybe it’s my want to be as strong as them that will eventually be my downfall. Maybe Killmonger was right. Maybe I am weak.

I shift Riri off of me slowly, not to be aggressive. She looks at me in my tear filled eyes. I could help but to continue sobbing, no matter how hard I tried to hold it back. “I’m sorry,” I cry with a short pause afterwards. “I-I’m sorry, Riri.” She grabs both sides of my face and wiped the tears from my face with her thumbs. We make eye contact. Those deep, dark, brown pools that are her eyes giving complete attention to my tearful ones.

“Shuri, don’t you dare apologize. I know a lot has happened to you this past year, and you’ve suffered too much in such a short amount of time. You’re still so young, and you’ve lost so much. The world hasn’t been kind to you, and you’ve still been juggling your grief while handling this new responsibility of being Black Panther. It’s a lot, and I know it is. But I promise whatever it is you’re going through, or whatever triggers you, we’re going to get through it together. I’m gonna be there every step of the way. And that’s a promise.” she rambles.

I’ve never heard those words said to me before. Not like this at least. Her voice was so sincere, and smooth like honey. She made me feel so warm and safe inside. My heart started beating fast again. But not out of fear or panic this time. It was different. Something I’ve never felt for a person before. Could it be… love?

RIRI’S POV

I meant every single word I spoke to Shuri. I wanted her to believe that she could trust me, and allow me to be there for her. I wanted her to let me be by her side in anything that she may need. I just… wanted her. But this isn’t about me, or my wants, it’s about Shuri, and what she needs. She held eye contact with me, her eyebrows are raised in wonderment, and her lips slightly parted. I remove my hands from her face, and grab her hand, rubbing it with my thumbs.

“C’mon, let’s get you back to your room, in your real bed, so you can get some real rest,” I say to her. I begin to stand up to help prepare myself to get her up, but she pulls me back down before I could. I’m confused, yet a bit intrigued.

“Riri, can you sleep with me tonight? Please? I’d feel more safe,” she said earnestly. I was shocked, she really wanted me in the same bed as her? Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Of course,” I answer as I nod. I finally see I smile on her face as well as we still maintain eye contact before slowly rising up to walk to her bed room together.

When we arrived to her room, she noticed how she was still in her lab clothes, and she needed to change in her pajamas. She went over to the draw to grab some, and started changing….right in front of me. I can feel the blush on my cheeks appear when I saw her toned abs, and muscular arms. I didn’t want to look away, but I didn’t want her to catch me starting either so I just looked on the ground until she was finished. After she was done, we both made eye contact for a minute, until we both finally walk over to the bed.

The bed was a huge king sized bed, and while she was near the center, I was near the edge. I never slept in the same bed with someone that I loved before. Wait? Did I really just say that? Love??! No, it’s just all in my head. Besides, even if that were true, it’s like she would want me any clos—

SHURI’S POV

I needed her by my side. I need her with me. I needed her closer. And so I found this new sense of confidence, and I asked. “Riri, you can come closer. You don’t have to be at the edge.” It was silent for a minute, her back faced towards me. I thought I may have just made her more uncomfortable. Bast, why would I even ask that? She doesn’t feel the way I do about her. She finally responded after an uncomfortable silence.

“Are you sure? I wanna make sure you have enough space. I don’t wanna crowd you or make you feel uncomfortable.” I realized that maybe she did feel the same, and she was just as nervous and as awkward as me. But no, I’m not giving my hopes up. But, I will be honest, I still wanted her closer. Maybe like…cuddling? The words that came out of my mouth next were words I didn’t think of, but that came from my heart.

“Riri, you could never make me feel uncomfortable. You make me feel more safe than anyone. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I want you close. Really close…”. She slowly turned around with an almost astound look on her face. My heart started beating faster again, and I started to sweat out of nervousness. But then I saw her smile…her beautiful wide smile, that gave me the reassurance I needed. She scooted closer and closer, until her thigh was right next to mine. I wrap my arms around her, and pulled her really close, until her head was on my chest. “Is this too much?” I ask to make sure she was okay with this. “Not at all,” she responds as she removes her head from my chest to look into my eyes.

The world pauses again, just like when she was comforting me. But this time, neither of us hold back. She leans in first, then I follow, until our lips finally connected. It was better than I could ever imagine. Her lips tasted like cherries, and were so soft. The kiss was long and slow, and I wanted to savor every moment of it. My stomach was filled with butterflies, and my heart soared. This is amazing. This is love.

RIRI’S POV

I’ve never has a kiss like this in my entire life. It was filled with so much passion and bliss. Shuri’s lips were like Heaven on mine. I could feel my stomach swirling when she wrapped her arms around my waste pulled me even closer. I was now on top of her, still passionately kissing her, when suddenly I felt her tongue in my mouth.

I pull back for a moment out of shock. She looked nervous, as if she was afraid that she went too far. When it reality, she did exactly what I wanted from her for so long. I dive back in, connecting her lips to mine as a slide my tongue in her mouth. She lets out a soft moan, which makes me smile into the kiss. I never wanted this moment to end. I could kiss this woman forever and never get tired of it. And it made me feel good that I was making her feel good. That was all the satisfaction I needed. God…I love this woman.

SHURI’S POV

For the first time in a long time, I felt good. Like…really good. This was a feeling I can’t describe or have ever experienced. I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone the way I love Riri. After a passionate 15 minutes of making out, we stopped and looked at each others eyes. Both of us trying to catch our breathe, I whisper to her, “I love you, Ri.” She grins from ear to ear and places a kiss on my forehead as she said, “I love more, Shuri.” She rests her head on my chest, as my arm is wrapped around her. She found a way not just to calm me down, but to make me feel like I’m not alone. And she said she loved? This is the happiest I’ve felt in forever. I am so lucky to have her. She’s mine, and I’m hers. I caress her shoulder as we both drift off to sleep.

[babybratzmaraj]

Fairytale:Lovely Day

Starring: Yourrage as Javion Davis

You as Yourself

Part 2

Summary: Today was the day! You were picked to be your favorite streamers assistant/manager! but when you get there you see that its nothing like sunshine and rainbows.

Warnings: Contains Foulllll language (not much but still, cussing is in it), maybe awkwardness but thats the point!, dual pov so the pov will switch.

A/N: HIIIII!!! its bratz😁 my first series on hea! this is a slowburn but trust, we shall be whores soon! i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it♥️ P.S. @megamindsecretlair surprise!!!! P.P.S marshawn is stilll coming, i promiseeee

You scrunched your face looking down at your phone with your best friend of 3 Years, Megan hitting you with the same expression.

“The fuck?! You should be happy like I said! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have and you gone take it!”

Today was the day you got flown out to Dallas, Texas! The beautiful, high-in-rent, ghetto city that everyone loves to go to, party or just to live for a fresh start. You rather stay in your bed and rot but Megan wasn’t finna allow none of that shit, especially when it's your first day on the job.

“Bitch, I’m just sayin’ what if I’m wasting my time? What if he don’t like me?” You threw the question in the air with an irritable look shot back at you, fixing her lips to speak but pushed out an exhausted sigh. “Ho, if you wasn’t a qualified candidate, you WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN PICKED!” she finished harshly making you giggle. “Trust, if that or those mu’fuckas ain't want you, you would not be up at 5 a.m packing, late as fuck I may add, getting ready to fly out.”

She was right, you did not think you were actually picked, that was until he sent your plane ticket confirmation information, it struck you like a big ass semi-truck, panicking since you didn’t prepare, until now.

You closed and zipped your carry-on bag and tossed it on the floor, flopping on your bed that you will miss oh so much, almost grieving it until Megan snapped you back to reality.

“Wanch, if you don’t get your ass outta my face! who knows what the fuck came outta those cheeks.”

You chuckled, reaching near your butt to grab your phone. “Listen, just because I let my food cook and give me all my nutrients, don't mean you gotta hate!.”

“YUCK!” Megan slapped her hand over her mouth, stopping herself from gagging. “Getcha nasty ass off my mu’fuckin’ modernized pager with a beautiful touchscreen.” She spat with disgust, hanging up the phone, you burst into laughter and continued your practiced routine of getting ready.

You checked every spot to make sure you put things in their collective places, leaving no stone unturned. Once completing your examination for the fiftieth time, you grabbed your glasses off of the nightstand and put them on her face, immediately annoyed that they were back dirty after you cleaned them. You didn't have enough time to even attempt to clean them, you had to say your teary-eyed goodbyes and hop in your uncle's truck to take you to the Detroit Airport, getting out of the way of traffic for both the highways and people also trying to reach their flight.

“Oh my baby girl, leaving me to go to that state,” Your tete wailed, swinging her arms around before wrapping them around you, squeezing you tightly as your other two cousins joined the group hug.

“If Yall don’t get yall grown asses off that lil girl? Y’all killing her softly.”

“Yeah!” you agreed with your uncle, “And one of yall grabbed my back titty, so when I come back, all’s y’all’s getting yall backs kneaded.”

You stepped out of the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport to the Texas heat smacking you in the face, already regretting flying out here, but it wasn’t your dime that got you out here on, you can’t look bad on your first day, you just got the mothafucka!

As you step further into the hell-like heat, a black SUV swerves in front of you, coming to a full stop. A short stuffy man popped out of the driver seat and crossed around the car with a smile plastered on his face.

“Yous the new assistant?” The man asked, shoving his hands out of his pockets to greet you.

“I am,” You accepted his greeting, ignoring how sweaty his hands were, ready to dip your hand in a pool full of mini sharks, which you now remembered was Prinahs. You were so caught up in correcting yourself, that you didn't notice he already put your carry-on in the trunk of the SUV. “Ma’am? We gotta dip before we won’t have a decent arrival time.”

You hurried yourself into the back of the SUV, feeling relieved that he had the air on, it was hotter than a mothafucka in Dallas! 81 degrees hot in Dallas.

Even though your southern roots grew strong, you came from the mitten state, Michigan. Home of the Buffs, Coney Dogs, and the most unique sound nobody can copy, but it was always cold as fuck. You hated the cold, the snow, the sneaky black ice that could sneak attack you and turn you into a medlife subscriber, you always complained but you knew you were never going to leave, until today, which you still couldn’t believe on the way to your new job.

You watched in awe as you saw the big freeways and highways as you flew down the interstate, seeing all the big tall buildings and seeing all different kinds of cars flying by, it almost distracted you from the knots and flips and shit that was happening inside your stomach.

“What made you want to apply to be Jay’s assistant?” The man spoke, waking you from your fear-induced trance.

“I got the random urge to apply, my best friend would literally sell me to the cartel if I passed up this opportunity.” you laughed, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

He nodded, taking an exit off the highway onto a regular street. “The name’s G by the way, Jay’s uncle.”

Uncle? You’ve been watching his streams and youtube videos, even his Instagram story when he posts little shit. You had never seen or heard of this uncle, and you almost felt betrayed by this new information.

He chuckled at reading your face which showed you didn’t know this man from a can of paint. “He protects the people who wants protection, one thing I appreciate best from him.” G smiled as he continued to express his deep gratitude.

You two talked some more, unaware that you were just now pulling into the secluded driveway, anxiety quickly eating you up to the point you felt like you were going to throw up. You wiped the sweat off of your hands on the seat in front of you as you whipped your phone out of your pocket, swiping till you saw ‘Bestie Miss Westie’ contact. Connecting the call to your AirPods you looked out of the window as you enjoyed the lovely scene of a front yard he had, grass freshly cut, the bushes trimmed down to waist level, the flowers complementing the house very well.

“If you callin’ because you missed your plane, I’m- who car you in,” she spoke but quickly changed when she saw the dark blue roof above you.

“I’m almost at the house, finna shabooya my tinks.” you confessed, removing one airpod as your best friend cackled loudly in your eardrum.

You two had code names for phrases, others may think you two were weird but it's simple because bitches are nosey, ‘shabooya my tinks’ translate into ‘I’m finna shit myself’

“Bitch if you shit yourself before you meet him you will foreva be called shitty booty by me.” she laughed as you tried your best not to pull out one of your many laughs.

The SUV stopped and the rumble of the truck shook still, signaling that we were here. G gave you a look to signal you to open your door, almost having an accident when a nice dark-skinned woman smiled a Steve Harvey smile.

“Lemme call you back.” You whispered, hanging up the phone as the lady popped open the door.

“Sorry honey! I’m just so happy to meet my new friend!.” she exclaimed, holding out her hand to help you out of the SUV. You popped out of the SUV and were pulled into a big hug by her, getting the wind squeezed out of you. ‘I feel at home already.’ you thought when you heard G shout from the side of you,

“Let go of that girl! we just hired her, Shanae.”

Shanae is Javion's assistant/manager, whose place you’ll be taking while she goes on maternity leave, but luckily she won’t be leaving just yet, she’ll be training you until her little one breaks her water. Jay wanted her to be on leave now but it would have been too cruel to leave you with no tutorial, so she stayed.

“Shut up Gerald!” she hushed him as he brought your luggage around to you two, holding his heart like he was just betrayed.

“I ain't even did shit, you see how I get treated?” he scoffed as you three laughed, walking towards the front door.

Walking into the house, the cold breeze hit you dead in your face, cooling you off in an instant. You threw up your index finger, telling them to wait on you as your body readjusted to the drastic change in temperature.

When you cooled down enough, you opened your eyes to the rest of them in the dining room, waiting for you to stop being weird and join them.

You sped walked to the dining room table and there he was. Javion Davis, leaning on the wooden chair staring military knives through you because daggers wouldn’t be the word to describe it.

His hair was a mess as he just hopped out of bed for this meeting, his eyes hanging low confirmed it. His body was sculpted perfectly, his lips pouted and juicy enough to kiss, his abs protruding through his tight white t-shirt, and his dad pajama pants sagged just right so you saw his Rick and Morty Ethika boxers, he looked so much sexier in person.

You brushed your thoughts out of your head and sat across from him, taking off your Nipsey Hussle bomber jacket and tucked it behind you, leaving you in your black shirt and naked arms.

They greeted you again with open arms while Javion kept it cold and short, spoke in short words and sounds like ‘hm’, ‘yeah’, and ‘fine with me’.

When the meeting finished, he walked out of the dining room ignoring your attempts to get to know him. “Ignore him honey,” Shanae reassured, handing you a glass of peach tea with ice cubes in it.

“You didn’t have to love, I coulda got my cup.”

“Baby I know you shy, I could tell by your body language.” She spoke

“Is it that obvious?”

“Deadly. You can stay comfortably shy as you please around me, I used to be exactly like you.” she reminisced thinking about when she was first starting.

True she was his friend since high school, but a whole new position other than one of his main viewers? Scared her shitless, but she got used to it as she was a natural at being a manager.

She told stories of how crazy this job can get but how she would never trade it for anything in the world and other stories from her childhood and how she met Jay, turns out y’all had a lot in common than you thought, feeling more at ease with the future of this job. She led you to the room you would be staying at with your bags already placed on the bed along with a note from Gerald.

‘Good luck suga, if you need me I'll be here,’ with a sorry excuse of an arrow pointing to his number below. You thought it was a nice gesture so you tucked the note into your pocket and whipped out your phone. “You need anything?” Shanae asked, waddling inside the room.

“I should be ok, thanks anyway.” you politely declined her offer. You didn’t want a pregnant woman to do a lot of unnecessary movements, you’d feel guilty having a pregnant lady do manual labor even when she says it's no problem.

“Okay sweetheart, and don’t worry about Javiontaion, he a asshole but he means well. Enjoy your room!” she finished, closing the door behind her.

“Why the fuck do I need a new assistant? My current one is perfectly fine.” he tossed the question towards his uncle, taking one last puff out of his blunt before putting it out.

“Boy, for someone who swear they nonchalant, you give too much of a fuck.” he shot back, leaning against the wall next to the door.

“Unc, I don’t know this bi-” he started but quickly corrected himself. He rubbed his hand down his face, rubbing them together before resting his elbows on his legs.

“I don’t know lil ma from a lick of shit, my assistant is fine for right now.”

“Keyword, right now.” she chimed in, pushing the door open a little. “What happens when my water breaks? Who is going to keep you level-headed? Handle your financial situations and shit? Make sure you make your meeting on time? You can’t even remember to wash the damn dishes!”

He sighed an irked sigh wishing he didn’t have to have this conversation for the millionth time before you came here. You weren’t the problem, he just didn’t trust people well, especially being this close to him and all in his business, for all he knows you just tryna rob him blind and dip, Hell, even sending you the information to get down here was a hassle!

“Y’all know how I am, I can’t warm up to shorty as fast as y’all want me to.”

“We planned this 5 months ago nigga, Im finna bust at any given moment.”

“Not to mention,” G chimed in, “If she was like that, I would have not brought her ass here, to the place you lay yo head at.” and he wasn’t lying. G always had a knack for feeling bad vibes from someone, it's how he was able to sniff out a few of his friends who were just using him and his kindness.

He sat there staring at the ground still thinking how he was going to warm up to you, he didn’t want to but for the sake of everyone else, he was going to attempt.

“Fine, but don’t think Peter Pan finna sprinkle his magic dust and imma love her ass overnight.” he gave in, earning a squeal from Shanae.

“I’m telling you, he does not like me, Meggie.” You sighed laying on the purple blanket, feeling her stress seep into the bed.

“What now?! what told you he dont like yo ass.”

“He literally only spoke in baby dick words.” You pointed out, “No full sentences, no actual greeting, not even an eye roll or a smack of the teeth. Ian get SHIT.”

“Baby, you are a stranger in his house. I know you want someone to like you offrip, but for some people that just ain’t possible.” she said motherly, popping a Reese into her mouth. “He gone warm up to you, but you gotta be patient, which won't be a problem since you so damn shy.” she giggled, making you jerk your head back.

“Wanch!” you chuckled at her sneaky drag, “Why can’t we have one good conversation?”

“Because when are we normal?” she made known, you both just laughing y'all little hearts away, It was never a dull moment with your bestie and somehow you just felt like she was going be your sane person on this adventure.

[deesseshesca]

Dang I like your aesthetic but you’re readings never resonate with me

First thing first ... thank you so much for the question. I hope you my answer resonate with you.

PART-1

I had to sit down and ask my spirit guides before I ask about you... what the heck is up with me ? You don't understand how grateful I am with your simple yet effective review. Another prove that sometime ''a wish come truth'' is not always something that feels good. Since I am who I am I crave genuine and you handed it to me. You don't understand how fixated on whether or not my reading resonate. I am not the type to care for number but you need to start some where. Than multiple well resected tarot reader on my timeline applaud my work. I knew I was not a scammer and y'all can sense that 2. Yet the people don't seem to love my blog (still the number (notes)). Change aesthetic and strategy it goes up. Somewhere I had to become more familiar with my own aesthetic and I actually had to learn how Tumblr works. I've spend over 5 years on this app yet a bitch did not even know how a like work. That's when I saw consistent growth (follower). Yet... no real review ... like what the fuck do y'all actually think of this blog. I ask but there's only so much I can force out of y'all.

Let me tell you why you guys may not resonate

I had a little meeting with my spirit guides ... if I don't sugarcoat for you ... I don't sugar coated for me.

Q1: Since is a PAC on a broad platform it will make sense that I just did not connect with their energy ?

Yes.

Q2: Maybe I did connect but never post it ? (I have so many PAC that I don't post... My spirit warn me that this shit is going to bite me back in the ass)

Yes.

Q3: I hate basic question, therefore I only welcome a certain collective which makes me loose connection with the rest of energy ?

Yes.

Q4: Since my description are extremely precise, some people may give up before even getting into the reading ?

Yes but Girl we been told you that would since the beginning.

Ok but than y'all send specific elements ... am I suppose to ignore it ?

Babygirl don't play dumb ... when you want to max out an audience you have to be broad.

But y'all know I prefer to be right than being loved.

There's she go again being stubborn where is not even needed.

Q5: If I follow my marketing degree and stop being stubborn will people resonate ?

YES!

Q6: Is the problem my tone of writing ?

Yes.

Q7: Should I fix it ?

Yes.

Q8: What does my audience want ?

They want a safe place in which they can come and grap some good advice. Don't get them wrong they love the detail, they are very intrigue by you. While reading you they realize you have a big lore yet nothing is coming out or you give off the vibe of a with in a forest (Yak... you know I hate camping-Girl is not about you !). You give the vibe of a big siter that been there done that, yet they have actually no real idea what u been through but they trust your advice. They love your advice is practical and empathic.

Q9 : If they love me so much ... why are we not as close as other community ?

YOUR NAGGNG PROBLEM. Every time they open a PAC, they have to get ready to be roast at 4 times, be call out of their name all the damm time and being drag through the woods like a useless doll. Sometime all that nagging ain't worth the good advice. Instead of acting like the cool cousin or anty. You out here nagging like a big sister that is never please. (First ... ouch I am a real life big sister that nag but I do it because I don't want them to fall for life illusion. I want them to be better and do better). Shesca that always been your problem (nah I don't feel like we are only talking about tarot no more ...) your need to protect often destroy. Because the same vulnerable soul that are coming for answer deserve also love, comfort and grace and not just protection. Some of them already know they mess up ... they don't need a ransom bitch on the internet to remind them. They want comfort. You need to learn how to love and protect.

CONCLUSION : (Hum.. I feel like a kid that just got yell at in the middle of the super market) This is definitely more than just tarot. WTF... not your message being life changing. Ok my Chérie D'amour, I commit to be more gentle and loving and just know that whatever I've done did not come from an evil place (just wanted to be a wake up call not a slap across the face) but because I actually am rooting for each one of y'all. Not me give lame ass apology like an abusive parent (wait... I knew this shit was more than fucking tarot). Let me prove it to y'all. Give me a second chance babe ... I will do better. Starting with you.

PART-2

Here is my apology (because when u wrote that, I know you were not waiting on some long ass sorry post and also because I am extremely grateful for your comments. You saved 3 hours of aesthetic changing because I though my blog was not cute enough and that's why people did not interact with me. Just found out I am just a scary bitch. Sorry y'all...)

What's your current energy ? (Only song for you love life came through)

You crave love. I am not even talking relationship wise ... I am more getting family wise. You come a rather abundant family. Never had a issue worry about basic needs and you probably did private school, honors program, trip once a year, your parent probably brought you you first car and there is not a single thing your dad ain't going to buy for you. Yet ... you hate the environment you been brough up in. They always arguing all the time. You hate loud noise. You are sometime force to chime in but all you are screaming about is wanting love. I'm hearing : Mom - You really had to take his side ? You: Mom ... really ... all I want is for it to stop. Y'all dread the holiday because is the same family dinner that always end up in a mess. Y'all love your family so much. You just wish they love you enough to love each other. The advice coming through is to let go. Even when they try to bring you in runaway or repeated over and over again that you don't want to take side or you can't take side. I'm going to be honest they argue so much that is not even about a specific issue is because everyone is so focus on their own pain.

Future energy

Everything is going to get better. There is so much love in y'all family. Y'all just need to learn to stop fighting each other but more the issue. When you are going to refocus your mind on the issue and not each other mistake and pain y'all will literally enter 10 pentacles phase. Which is the card for ultimate pro-active family bound that last generation. Side note maybe y'all have some ancestral karmic tie related to family that need t be heal. You are ask to keep a distance with pettiness and stay full of love.

What's current energy with your love life ?

You are mad that someday did not pick you. You are not giving me pick me vibe but I am getting you are a 10 across the board (that you is ... babe your body is tea, skin is clear, you have a job and go to school ... mamacita has motion) yet not only did they not choose you. They humiliate you.

Song : More than I should - Kehlani ft Jessie Reyez

Future energy love life

Somebody new is walking in your life in the next 2 weeks. Babe you are going to be on heat for that person. Don't worry because they will show they want you. Is not lust but is not love. Both of you are feeling the same thing but you are not going to be honest with your feeling. Preferring hiding behind games. The way they desire for you body, you touch is like a storm of passionate emotion where no matter what they do they are falling for you. Every time you text them, send a selfie, a voice note, touch them, look at them ... just exist they are fighting to sweep you off your feet and run away. They are always going to be with that one close friend. The reason you won't allow your self to fall for it is they have different background and look from you. I am getting a preppy, old money, sober Sally vibe from you. Meaning you may have grow up in a religious family in which a lot of expectation is sitting on your shoulder and who you are going to marry is definitely one of them. Maybe they come from a more open minded family. They may have tattoo, more darker aesthetic and don't have the social etiquette your parent put in you. You don't think less of them you just know that your family is not going to accept it. That's it. Usually I shuffle for more but spirit kept stopping me. You have to choose. You have to decide were do you want this to go. All I know is that they are always going to choose you. They are actually going to be the one waiting from an answer from you.

Song : Your stuck - Odeal ft Summer walker

On that note good night Chérie d'Amour and thank you for your bless message.

[swiftfootedachilles]

Hi! 47, 48 and 49 for the headcanon tag if you are still writing them please ty ily 🧡🖤

47. AU if they had a more normal childhood- How would they be in high school? (Would Ian be a jock? a cheerleader? would he be popular? Would Mickey enjoy studying? what's his favorite subject?) i don't think there's a universe where ian and mickey have normal childhoods and still come out the other end as ian and mickey. but if they had somewhat-stable childhoods? i think they would still be the goofy army kid and the drug dealer. mickey would barely make it to graduation and he would be a class behind, but he wouldnt drop out without even finishing freshman year like in canon. ian loves rotc but he doesnt have tunnel vision fkr joining the military, because hes not as desperate to get away and start a new life. maybe ian gets his math tutoring from mickey, and mickey studies for english tests with ian. i love aus where they are more than just secret fuckbuddies in high school. i need more of them holed up in ians room at dinnertime, passing cigs and joints, teaching each other about inverse trig functions and symbolism in the great gatsby. yeah a lot of things are still shit and they still make a lot of mistakes. yeah mickeys dad is still a piece of shit and ian barely makes it through senior year from the stress of his diagnosis. but it's better. and they are still ian and mickey. so it's all still worth it in the end

48. After awhile, do you think people got to Ian and Mickey for relationship advice? (Gallaghers / friends / franny ) i definitely think debbie tries to subtly hound mickey for info about sandy. what she's doing, where she's at, who she's hanging out with. at first mickey tells her to ask sandy her fucking self, but he realizes 1. he has to be nicer to the only free welder he knows 2. nothing he does to deflect the questions actually makes debbie leave him alone. so he answers her curtly and holds in his annoyance for debbie's obsession with his cousin. eventually he actually tells her something worth listening to, and debbie takes the hint and tries a new tactic for approaching sandy (debbie hasn't been able to get her out of her head and she needs closure or she's gonna combust)

i think lip and tami also sometimes try to drag gallavich into their fights. "you know what it's like living together in a small space, tell her im right." "you've made your relationship work for a while, why dont you give him some advice on how to do the same thing." ian tries to stay out of it because hes very biased toward lip, but mickey honestly dgaf about lip and tami's relationship so he tells them they're both equally and dumb and annoying and they better find someone else to talk to about all this relationship shit before he rigs their duplex with c-4s

49. Gallaghers post canon: Does Lip go back to school/ gets a profession? Do all of them talk to Fiona? What happened with Debbie and Heidi/ Sandy? Franny? Does Carl open the cop bar/ stays a cop? Does Liam live with Lip and Tami? How does he deal with Franks death? okok i have many thoughts about post-s11. i will be as succinct as possible as to not write a 10 page essay about my fanon theories. if y'all want that you'll have to pay me to go on a podcast or smth.

i don't think lip goes back to school, at least not in the near future. maybe further down the line, but for now he's in the mechanic and refurbishing business. which honestly he can make a hell of a lot of money doing so i see no reason why he would feel the need to go back to school and burn himself out and be in debt all over again.

the siblings keep in contact with fiona. i like to imagine she eventually moves much closer to chicago like fort wayne or springfield. somewhere that makes long weekend visits possible. they definitely facetime and are on good terms. if she moves closer i can see liam possibly moving to live with her? or at least stay with her during summer break

fuck heidi i really dgaf about her. i hope debbie and sandy can at least make up and be cordial with each other. i think they are very off-and-on for a looong time. toxic situationship that neither can seem to get away from. they both got shit they gotta figure out if they ever wanna be girlfriends again. sandy throwing debbies trauma in her face was FUCKT UP. and what the hell was with her secret son?? that plot was weird as hell😭

carl dont need to be a cop so yeah i will make him a bartender instead. fuck the cop bar thing, but they can have, like...a cop night or something. like tuesdays and thursdays during happy hour they get a discount or smth. but i REFUSE to turn it entirely into a cop bar. carl lives in the apartment above it

ummm okay so first and foremost lip is NOT selling that house idc what anyone says I AM NOT LETTING HIM DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THE HOUSING MARKET GOT IN 2021? FUCK OFF. he and tami are either gonna have to suck it the fuck up and live in the gallagher house (ITS A FREE FUCKING HOUSE!!!!) with liam and probably also debbie and franny at least for a little while longer, or lip has to stop being an idiot and live in one of the MANY FREE HOUSING OPTIONS TAMIS FAMILY GAVE THEM. DONT piss me off phillip. with carl, ian, and mickey out of the house i don't see why they can't live there for at least a couple years. debbie can take her time finding an apartment while still living there, liam can have some semblance of normalcy in his life without having to move schools, the older sibs can get their own room (lip and tami, debbie, liam, franny and fred), if they can't make it work then they can't make ANYTHING work. it's literally half as crowded. and i think liam takes franks passing really hard, but i like to think everyone is much more supportive of him than ian was toward mickey when terry died. liam, carl, and mickey can have a heart-to-heart about their complex relationships with their dads. i dont think fiona comes up for the funeral - she probably goes on a bender in miami lbr. but i imagine liam has a decent enough support system that he won't be traumatized by franks deathl

[rowanaelinn]

Illicit Affairs - Chapter Fourty-Seven

Masterlist

A/N: I know it’s been a while I’m so sorry!!! But even if you hate me after this chapter, can you wish me luck? I’m taking my third driver test tomorrow and I would really like to pass this time LMAOO

Warnings: general dose of angst | Word Count: 6,000

December 24th,

Aelin threw herself on the bed she was sharing with her cousin, finally wrapped her in her warm pajamas, and let out the longest breath known to mankind. Aedion was sitting the same way she did, staring at the wall.

“I had sex with Rowan,” she said, feeling like in a confessional. Except that instead of a priest, she confessed to her cousin. Some people could find it weird, but this thing felt too heavy to keep to herself, and she was sure something was also bothering him.

He didn’t even look at her. He only said, “I kissed Fenrys.” Her head shot to the side, her eyes the size of flying saucers. But he kept his gaze on the wall, then kept going, “And then I told him to never speak to me again.”

“Oh,” she breathed.

Was she in the place to ask any questions? He hadn’t for her, she would allow him the same courtesy.

She thought she understood. He’d been broken once. And even if she was sure Fenrys would never hurt him the way Lysandra had… She had never thought Lysandra capable of doing what she did either. In the end, they never knew who someone really was.

Fuck, Aelin was just figuring herself out.

“We’re fucked,” she said.

“Yep,” he nodded. “We are.”

“Maybe it’s our genes,” she said. “There must be something bad about those Ashryver genes, because there’s no way so many shitty things happen to us at random.”

He snorted. “So it’s either you die, you end up being a cunt like your mother or life screws you over and over again. Wyrd help us, the eyes aren’t worth all this shit.”

And she couldn’t help it, she laughed. Loudly. Because that was true, the pretty eyes weren’t worth all that pain.

----

March 7th,

“This one, maybe?” Helia pointed out toward the ugliest dog Aelin had ever seen. Truly, she felt mean to say it, but it was the truth. She was sure this dog was very nice, but it was old. She was sure that with a little brushing it’d be prettier, but one look at its age was enough for Aelin to shake her head and grab Helia’s hand to walk away. Aelin’s heart squeezed in her chest at the idea of leaving any dog behind… If she had more money, if she didn’t live in an apartment, she would adopt them all.

But she’d already struggled to have Aedion accept to adopt one little beast, she wouldn’t push her luck.

If there was one good side of being heartbroken, it was how lonely both cousins felt. Sure, they had each other to rely on, but there was just so much physical contact she could take with that brute. She’d always wanted a dog, but her mother had always refused to adopt one. In university it would have been impossible to have a dog on campus, and now… Well, now felt like a good moment to make a permanent decision.

It was either that or a tattoo, and Helia was a little too young to get tattooed with her, so adopting a dog it was. It was her weekend with the little girl, and she really had wanted her to choose with her. It felt like a decision to make with Helia. Aedion was trailing behind them, eying the animals warily. “I don’t get why you don’t want a cat, it’s more independent.”

She rolled her eyes, “That’s the point, Aed. I want cuddles, lots of cuddles.”

“Cuddles!” Helia screamed excitedly, clapping in her hands. “I love cuddles.”

“You do?” Aelin asked, surprised. “I never would have guessed that. You never hug me.”

Helia’s eyes widened. “No! Not true!” But for good measure, the girl threw her arms around Aelin’s leg, hugging her so strongly that Aelin couldn’t move anymore. Aedion caught up to their side, chuckling at the little girl. Though it squeezed something in Aelin’s chest as she saw how much Helia had grown up in more than a year. Fuck, it’s been than a year since she met the girl. More than a year since she…

No, she wouldn’t go down that train of thought. Not now.

“We have a few dogs waiting outside if you’d like,” an employee smiled at them. They’d chosen to go to a refuge which didn’t keep dogs or cats or other animals in cages. It was sort of a house, with two dogs sharing each room. Apparently, there were activities in the garden as well. “Yes!” Helia jumped away from Aelin’s legs.

“We’d love to,” Aelin confirmed.

“I’ll show you,” the woman said.

Aelin went to grab Helia’s hand, but the little girl already had her arms in the air, her eyes pleading as she silently asked Aelin to pick her up. She was tired, Aelin should have expected that. They’d been out for a while, having grabbed an ice-cream on the way there. “Mommy?”

Aelin’s heart nearly leaped out of her chest, but she smiled at Helia and turned around, lowering so Helia could jump on her back. Aelin wasn’t strong enough to hold her in another way. When she stood, there was something strange in Aedion’s eyes. Something like worry, and maybe some hints of pity. She’d told him about her infertility. He’d been there for her when she got her eggs frozen, even if she still had chosen Fenrys as a doctor. Aedion had ignored him, much to Fenrys’ dismay. But he’d been there for her, offering her his support. It meant a lot more than he knew.

She winked at him and smiled, reassuring him. Helia still called her mommy sometimes, even if Aelin thought it would stop now that they didn’t see each other as much as they used to.

Helia had her arms wrapped around her neck and she rested her head on her shoulder, as Aelin admired how pretty that house’s garden was. She loved her apartment, it started to somewhat feel like home, but she missed running in Rowan’s garden, playing hide-and-seek with Helia.

There were indeed three dogs playing with a man, the three of them with dark fur. But the dog that caught her eyes was the little golden pup, eyeing the three other dogs as if it wished to join in the fun, without ever daring. “What about this one?” Aelin asked to the woman.

“Oh! She’s a little lost. She’s relatively new here, but she seems to be afraid of the others. It makes her integration somewhat complicated.”

The eyes of that dog… Gods, they seemed so sad. “Can we pet her?”

The woman’s face lightened. “Of course! She would love that. Usually, when people see an unsociable dog, they don’t want to get anywhere near it.”

“Assholes,” Aedion grunted from her side, and the woman nodded though she made no comments.

Carefully and instructing Helia to control how loud her voice was, they approached the dog. She was sitting near a tree, and made no attempt to move before Aelin kneeled in front of her, Helia landing on her feet. Aelin held up her hand for the dog to sniff, and after it did just that, Aelin let out a surprised yelp as the dog licked her stand, stood and nuzzled her hand away so she could nearly jump onto her.

Aelin laughed as she sat, the dog licking her face as Aelin petted her.

“She loves you,” the woman laughed, kneeling near Helia to instruct her how to pet the dog.

She wasn’t too big, that was a good point. And she seemed very affectionate. Aelin couldn’t lie and say she hadn’t developed a soft spot for the dog the moment she heard her story. “I love her, too.”

Even Aedion kneeled on the other side, and he scratched the golden pup behind her ear. He nodded at Aelin, and her smile turned big. “What do you think, Lia? Do we like her?”

Helia’s big, doe-like green eyes were shining with joy. Aelin felt complete when she saw the girl so happy, especially when it was thanks to her help. She nodded, “I love her!” She repeated what Aelin had just said. “What’s her name?”

The woman from the refuge smiled sadly. “We have no idea, we found her lost in a forest. I’ve called her willow, but we decided to let her new owner choose.”

“Any ideas?” Aelin asked Helia. Willow was a pretty name, but if the girl had a specific name in mind…

Her toothless smile was to cute not to mirror it. “Can we name her Fleetfoot?”

Alright… That was something for sure but… Aedion ruffled the girl’s hair, “Fleetfoot it is.”

---

May 4th,

Aelin’s head was pounding, or maybe it was a fist on the door. But as she opened her eyes, she quickly realized that it was both. Her vision was blurry, and yet she still stood and walked to the door. Shit, the apartment was a mess. They had partied a little too hard last night. Fenrys was asleep on the first couch, with his head resting on Aedion’s stomach, who was also laid on the couch. She didn’t remember what happened last night, but the mark on Fenrys’s neck told her that she didn’t want to know.

Aelin herself had slept against Dorian’s shoulder, the two of them sharing the second couch. Dorian spent more and more time here lately, ever since he also quit med school and broke up with his girlfriend, Manon. She didn’t really know why, just that the woman wasn’t ready for commitment.

And while they’d been breaking their backs sleeping on couches, the two couples had slept in the bedrooms. Elide and Lorcan in Aelin’s, and Connall and Vaughan in Aedion’s.

She hadn’t known they’d be there last night; she’d come home ready to cry herself to sleep, but when she opened her door… Well, that had been a good way to change her mind. And now, for two years in a row, she hadn’t been sad for her birthday. That was quite an accomplishment. Though when she remembered where she’d been a year before… She shook her head, opening the door, only for her heart to nearly stop.

Her father was standing there, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. With a tentative smile, he said, “Happy late birthday, princess.”

“Dad,” she breathed, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the way she was dressed. The shirt was pretty long, but still, maybe she should have put pants on. “What are you doing here?”

He looked as embarrassed as she felt, and he eyed her apartment warily. That really was the worst time for a visit. “I wanted to visit yesterday, but Aedion told me not to,” he chuckled then. “I understand why, now.”

“What are you doing here?” She repeated, still a bit confused.

“It was your birthday. I-I wanted to be there, so maybe we could spend some time together. But if you don’t want to, it’s okay.”

“No,” she rushed to say. “I’d love to.” It was nice, she thought, to see him there. To know he thought about her.

He smiled, letting out a little relieved sighed. “Good, would you like to go walk somewhere?”

“Sure,” she smiled. “Just, let me get dressed. And can I bring my dog?” Fleetfoot loved to go out and walk with Aelin. The once very small, tiny dog she’d adopted is now huge, always stealing Aedion’s bed.

“You have a--,” he stopped himself. “Sure, Aelin. Take your time.”

She gave him a small, shy smile and let him in. He looked scared at the state of her apartment, and it somehow made her smile, reminding her of all the times he came back home to a very messy house when she was a teenager. His eyebrows shot up at Aedion and Fenrys, and Aelin said, “Don’t frown at the state of your doctors, they’re not working.”

He chuckled, “I can see that.”

---

Aelin was feeling emotional and held back her tears as she walked through the park where her father used to take her and Celaena when they were kids. He used to drive all the way there just so they could throw bread at the ducks. Aelin was watching Fleetfoot run while she sat on a bench, her father next to her.

“I didn’t know you were having a party,” he said. “I mean, you didn’t have to tell me.”

“I didn’t know, either,” she told him. “Aedion surprised me.”

“I am happy that you have him,” he said, laying a hand on her knee, then squeezing. “He treats you well.”

“He really told you to not come yesterday?”

“He said that you had plans, and that you might not be up for a visit from me on that day.”

She chewed on her bottom lip. “It’s always a hard day.”

“You don’t need to explain,” he smiled. “It’s the reason why I asked Aedion beforehand, I want to do things on your terms now.”

She nodded, fighting the tears even more. They weren’t bad tears; she was just feeling a lot. The meds she’d been prescribed didn’t help, either. They helped her get out of bed every morning, but they also made her feel more sensitive. “What did you do yesterday?”

There was a flash of silver in his brown eyes, and he said, “I flew to Terrasen. I wanted to be with Celaena a little. I have… I have been doing this quite a lot lately, if I must be honest.”

“Oh,” she breathed. Her sister hadn’t been alone yesterday, then. That was good. “Does it help you?”

He nodded, “Yeah. I keep telling her how sorry I am, honestly, I just sound like a broken record there, but… I will never say it enough.” He winced, then said, “I wanted to move her. To Doranelle, so she could be with the whole family. It wasn’t my decision to leave her there, but your mother she’s been…”

“Celaena will be in Doranelle?” Aelin breathed.

Something in his face shattered. “They need the authorization of both parents, and your mother is—”

“A bitch,” she snapped, her tempter rising. “She’s just a cruel bitch.”

He didn’t say anything else other than, “I’m sorry.”

She shrugged. She’d asked him once, when she’d picked up the phone in his many attempts to call her, how the divorce was going. He said that her mother made it hard, that she was trying to take everything from him. She hadn’t lost her job at the hospital, she had no idea how, but she wasn’t at the top of the hierarchy anymore. That’s all she knew, and all she wanted to know.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything,” he said.

She played with her fingers as she said, “I understand how you pulled away after Celaena died. I did, too. We all grieve differently, and I’m pasted that. But… But you knew how Evalin was cruel with me. And I believe you when you say that you love me, so why have you never done anything?”

He looked away, as if he was ashamed, before he turned his eyes back on her. “I have no excuses. I hate myself for it, and I don’t deserve forgiveness. But the only explanation I can give you, was that your mother… She wasn’t only cruel to you. The few times I brought it up, she threatened to leave and take you away. And I—I don’t know. It somehow shut me up every time. Again, Aelin, this is on me. I can’t give you excuses that’d be convincing enough.”

The tears escaped her eyes then, and she didn’t wipe them off. She knew that she wouldn’t have liked the answer in anyway. But… “Thank you for being honest. You weren’t the father of the year but deserved better than Evalin. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” he said, voice clouded with emotions. “Don’t apologize to me, Aelin.”

“Alright,” she let out a long breath, wiping away the tears. She had to stop crying, for fuck sake.

“It’s okay,” he squeezed her knee again. “Tell me about yesterday, who was there?”

When she told him, he frowned, “No Dr. Whitethorn?”

Her stomach dropped at the name but she shook her head.

“I thought he’d be there, since you’re invol—”

“We haven’t been involved for almost a year, dad. I thought you knew that.”

“Oh,” he breathed. She hadn’t told him, but she thought someone else had. “What happened?”

Her laugh was sad. “He left me, and I’m a child about it because I can’t fucking get over it.”

“When?”

Her side-eyed look was enough for him to understand that she meant the night at her parents’ house. “Aelin,” he breathed. “He had no other choice.”

She shook her head, “You don’t get it.”

“Not everyone is me, Aelin. Not everyone is your mother.”

“Dad—”

“No,” he grabbed her hand. “Look at me.” She did. “I made him run that night. I’m so sorry, but he wanted to stay. The next day he was the one to yell at me, he had a goddamn lawyer ready, Aelin. This is why I thought you were together, because he fought for you.”

“What?” she breathed.

He’d told her. He said that he would have come back after the stalker had been dealt with; but she hadn’t been sure if she believed him. But if he truly had fought for her… Why hadn’t he said it?

She shook her head. “It’s… It’s not only that. I love him too much.”

He frowned, “What is that supposed to mean? There’s no such thing as loving too much.”

She scoffed, calling Fleetfoot so she could have some comfort from the lovely dog. She hadn’t planning on having a heart-to-heart with her father today. Hell, her head was still pounding, her body still feeling like death. The dog laid her head on Aelin, allowing her to pet her.

“There is when you’re me. I solely focus on him, so much that I start neglecting myself. I believe that if he is here then I’ll be fine, that if he is here, I’m protected and nothing can hurt me. I forgot about how you both hurt me for a while when I was with him, until that night. For a while, I just sat in my fucking car, and I realized I had nothing to go back to, dad. I was in a fight with Aedion, I kept so many secrets from my friends that they barely felt like my friends, then one of them betrayed me… I had to go to the house of a man who barely tolerate me, Dad. I just… I can’t love healthily.”

“You’re right,” he said, voice slightly quivering. “You can’t love yourself healthily. Not the others. The love you tell me about, it’s the purest kind of love that exists. It’s the kind of love I wish I’d been able to show you, that I wish I was able to show anyone. The problem isn’t with how you love Rowan,” he said, as if saying his name felt strange on his tongue. It must be. “It’s with yourself, and I know it’s my fault, but stop punishing yourself.”

She shook her head, tears spilling once more. “It’s not as easy.”

“I’m proud of you for looking for a better, healthier love. But, are you happy, princess? I understand pulling away to heal, but are you truly healing if you’re stopping yourself from being with someone you love?”

“I’m messy,” she breathed.

“You’re lovely, and pure, and too good. Start treating yourself with more love, Aelin.”

She wiped her tears away. Maybe he was right. She tried her best. She went to school, she became closer to Fenrys and Dorian and Elide, she took care of Helia… Every day, she fought to get out of bed and make the best out of a good day. But maybe… If she’d let Rowan in again, it would be easier. Maybe she couldn’t forget that night he left, but she could forgive him.

“I’ll call him tonight,” she said, and her father smile.

---

“Aelin!” A high, loud voice squealed the moment she opened the door and faster that she had any right to be, Helia threw herself at Aelin. Surprise hit her as hard as the little girl did, what was she doing here? Aelin had been drunk out of her mind yesterday, but she was positive the little girl hadn’t been there.

Fleetfoot ran into the apartment, going to sniff a very well dressed Loren. He hadn’t been there either… What was going on?

“Buttercup!” Aelin smiled, kneeling at Helias height. “What are you doing here?”

“Happy birthday!” She placed a bit, wet kiss on her cheek, and Aelin felt her heart fill with warmth. Last she heard, the two kids were having a sleepover at Rowan’s last night, and she only understood why when Vaughan and Connall showed up in her living room.

There was as if hope took over the beating of her heart. If they had been at Rowan’s then he must have driven the kids there, right? She stood, grabbing Helia and holding her close. But as she walked in the living room, there was no trace of Rowan. She tried, she really tried to not show her disappointment show, but from the other side of the room, Fenrys’s eyes on her felt heavy.  

Loren rushed to Aelin as well, hugging her legs. Gods, that boy was too cute to be true. She hadn’t seen him for a year, but he was always showing up in the video calls his fathers gave her. “Happy birthday, Aelin,” he squeezed his arms around her legs. “We came to play board games!”

Aelin chuckled, her eyes looking fondly at Aedion, who mouthed happy birthday. She grinned, and then her cousin’s gaze slipped behind her, and then she realized that her father was still there. She set Helia back on her feet, and the two kids ran toward Aelin’s bedroom.

Aelin turned around, looking at her father. He looked really uncomfortable, especially pinned under Lorcan’s gaze. She had no idea what that was about. She didn’t expect Lorcan Salvaterre to take her defense out of everyone. Her father was still holding the bouquet of pink and purple flowers he’d bought her, she’d asked him to as Fleetfoot was quite a handful to deal with.

She grabbed the flowers, walking into the kitchen to fill a pot with flowers, her father on her heels. “I really like them,” she said, filling in the silence between them. The apartment was small, and everyone could hear or see them. She supposed it was a surprise for them to see him there. Maybe Aedion hadn’t told them, or her father hadn’t really warned that he’d come today.

She didn’t fail to notice that the flowers were what used to be hers and Celaena’s favorite color. Her taste had changed… but she appreciated the gesture.

“You could stay, you know,” she said.

He shook his head, giving her a little embarrassed smile. “Enjoy an afternoon with your family, it’s okay.”

In a way, she was happy that he refused. It broke her heart, how he didn’t consider himself part of her family. But maybe she was part of his, and there was still work for him to be part of hers.

He waved at her, on his way to leave, but before he could, “Dad?”

He turned around, facing her with an expression of wonder on his face. She hesitated for a second, until she decided to fuck it all. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging her father for the first time in year. Tears burned her eyes as she said, “Thank you for today.”

“Anytime, princess,” he breathed, hugging her back. They let go of each other after a while, and she gave him a tentative smile.

“Do you think we could do that again someday?”

He smiled at her, “I would love to, Aelin.”

---

After showing the world how much of a sore loser she was, Aelin decided to cook something for everyone before they leave, going back home. Her cooking capacities had somewhat developed, at least enough that she had made Bolognese. And since nobody was spitting what was in their plate, she supposed she hadn’t done such a bad job.

Fenrys was in a vivid tale of how his patient’s husband started hitting on him right in front of his wife, and Aelin’s belly hurt at how much she laughed. Even in her laughter, Aelin couldn’t ignore the looks Fenrys threw toward Aedion, as if making sure he was making him jealous. Compared to how cozy they were that morning, it was almost as if the two of them couldn’t seat far enough for each other. Or more like Aedion couldn’t sit far enough from Fenrys, who made it his job to taunt her cousin.

She wouldn’t even ask what happened the night before, she’d been too busy dancing with Helia and Vaughan—whose hips could move very beautifully—to look at the two of them.

Aelin was sitting with Helia on her lap. She was five now. Older than the three years old she’d met, and yet the girl still wanted to snuggle with Aelin to eat. Maybe it was a little disgusting, but they shared a plate. Less washing to do later, and it wasn’t like Helia ate a lot. She took a big mouthful of pasta, and red sauce was all around her mouth as she chewed. Aelin chuckled, using a napkin to clean her up. Her dramatic self, Helia sighed and let her body fall against Aelin’s torso. “I missed Bolognese.” She could say Bolognese without any problem now, and Aelin wanted to congratulate her on it.

“What do you mean baby, you haven’t eaten that in a while?” She remembered Rowan cooking that once a week, mainly because it was one of Helia’s and Aelin’s favorite.

“No,” the girl shook her head grabbing the big glass of water with her tiny hands.

“How so?” Maybe Rowan got sick of it. Though she couldn’t imagine him deprive Helia from her favorite food just because he didn’t like it anymore. He was… selfless that way. He loved her that much.

Fuck, she missed him.

That convo with her dad really messed her up. She had the urge to grab her phone and call him now but… she wanted peace when she made that call.

“Remelle doesn’t like it, so Daddy doesn’t cook it anymore,” Helia sighed, shrugging a little.

Aelin’s stomach dropped as she heard what Helia said. And as if everyone heard as well, all side-conversation stopped. The silence was deafening, and the two kids were oblivious to it.

“Remelle?” Aelin asked, though her voice was a little too wobbly for her liking. She looked around, and no one dared to look at her, except Aedion who was as confused as her. The only one who dared to look at her was Fenrys, and his eyes… they looked sad.

“Daddy’s friend,” Helia answered, and there was something about her tone Aelin didn’t enjoy. Maybe… dislike? “She sleeps over all the time.”  

She was going to be sick. She looked around, and none of the people who lived in Doranelle dared to make eye contact. They’d known. They’d known and they didn’t tell her.

Aelin’s heart was beating too fast, her vision turned blurry and she felt dizzy. And yet, she did her smile to lean in and kiss Helia’s cheek. “You can have all the Bolognese you want here, baby.”

Aelin didn’t last more than a minute before she stood, helping Helia to seat before she went into her room. It took energy to not slam her door. Instead she sat on her bed, staring into the void.

Remelle.

She remembered now.

Dr. Flores.

Blonde, beautiful. Age appropriate.

He moved on. He moved on with her.

She was truly going to be sick. Just as she thought about rushing to the bin under her desk, her door opened. She thought Aedion would be the one to join her, but she was wrong.

Fenrys was there.

“Get out,” she breathed.

“Aelin,” he said, tentatively, closing the door behind her.

“You knew,” she said, not loudly but with bite. “You didn’t tell me.”

“You were doing good, Lin,” he said, taking a step in her direction. “I didn’t know for sure, Rowan isn’t the type to confirm or answer our questions. And you were doing better…”

“How long.” She demanded.

“Aelin.”

“How fucking long, Fenrys?” She snapped.

“We noticed them getting closer around a month ago.”

Her heart missed a beat. A month. He’d kept that from her for a month. And in the meantime, he kept convincing her to take him back. She didn’t know what her feelings were now. If she was angry or sad.

“Call him now,” he urged her. “Call him now and he will ditch her.”

“You’re a dick.”

“Call him now, Aelin. He will, just call him and he will. I know that he will today, but I’m unsure on what he would do in the future. You need to wake up now if you still want him, and we both know you do.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” she snapped.

He frowned, his head cocking to the side. “I don’t get you, Aelin. Sometimes, I can’t understand.”

“I’m trying to deal with my emotions, Fenrys, and I can’t do this if you’re here,” she hissed.

“Dealing with your emotions, is that how you call this? You’re just compartmentalizing, entirely ignoring some parts of your problems.”

“Like what?” She shouted, too lost in these waves of distress to care.

“Like the fact that he’s waited for almost a year and you’ve ignored him, but the moment he moves on it seems like a problem,” he snapped back. “You need to choose. You want him or you don’t, because Aelin, if you keep waiting you might lose him.”

Breathing was hard, and it was as it an entire building crumbled onto her as she breathed, “He told me he couldn’t wait anymore. I told him I wouldn’t come back.” Her friend’s face turned sympathetic, and her voice broke as she breathed, “I didn’t believe him. I-I hoped.”

“Call him,” Fenrys said, holding out his phone. “Call him, and tell him.”

She looked at the phone for a second, wondering what would happen. Could she call him, really? Would she call him, ask him to ruin the little happiness he’s found, only so she can bring her mess back into his life?

Then, she shook her head. “I’d like you to leave.”

“Aelin,” he breathed.

She shook her head, “I don’t want to speak to you anymore.” He’d known. He should have told her, no matter how much he wanted to protect her. She was so, so tired of being protected. Of being weak.

He laughed, but the sound was sour. “You want to push me away from your life, too? When will it stop Aelin, when only Aedion’s left, huh?”

She looked away. She didn’t deserve his friendship, didn’t deserve his time. She wasn’t a good person. Wasn’t good for anyone. He shouldn’t have had to protect her.

“You think I don’t know why? You rely on Aedion because he’s as lonely as you. He won’t leave you, and you won’t leave him. You’re using each other as life buoys, and you push away anyone else. You can’t ignore the world outside.”

“Leave,” she said, voice firm. “I don’t want to see anyone,” she slipped under her blanket and didn’t come out of it for an entire weekend.

---

June 10th,

“I had fun, you know,” he said in her ear, helping her put her coat back on. She gave him a shy, timid smile.

“It was a nice evening,” she nodded, taking a deep breath as they stepped out of the restaurant. Even for a month of June, the air was quite cold. Hence, the coat. She usually disliked wearing one, it always ruined an outfit. She rather not get sick, though. So, she put on a goddamn coat.

“Can I walk you back to your car?” He asked.

He was cute. Pretty, even. She’d met him in class, and he’d been the first person to approach her. She’d been wary at first… The last time she befriended someone in class, it hadn’t ended well. For months he did his best to befriend her, and while she didn’t reject him, she wasn’t exactly warm. Then, before Yulemas, he’d asked her on a date. She refused. He did it again a few months later, and she gave him the same excuse. I’m not ready.

He was perfectly content to keep their friendship intact. Until a month ago. She called him, asking if he was still up for a date. She’d never heard Sam’s voice so joyful. He was funny, and a good man.

Now, three dates later, Aelin enjoyed his company. She didn’t love it, and she didn’t crave it so much that she felt as if she needed him. But maybe this was a more realistic kind of relationship for someone as messed up as Aelin.

The walk to her car hadn’t been long, and they stood there. “You look beautiful,” he praised her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Thank you,” she smiled, waiting for a blush to spread in her cheeks but it didn’t happen.

He was standing close to her, and his gaze lowered on her lips. He wetted his own, taking a deep breath, and she knew what he would ask before he even opened his mouth.

“Can I kiss you?”

For someone who had had sex in a bathroom before the first date, and who had grinded on a guy during their first date, it was strangely chaste of her to never having kissed Sam before. Not a single time before or after their first two dates, but she knew she would break this circle today. After all, she had to move on.

She took a deep breath of her own and nodded, and the next second his wet lips were on hers. And she felt… nothing. It would come, she told herself. She rose on her toes, parting her lips for him.

He groaned, pushing her against her car. His hands stayed in appropriate places, on her waist, but she could feel things heat up.

This wasn’t…

She didn’t want to have sex with him. Didn’t want to kiss him. Not now. Was he kissing her? Having sex with her? If he didn’t… Didn’t she have to, as well? She had to move on as well, she had to prove to herself that—

She pushed Sam away, a little breathless. “I’m sorry.”

“Have I hurt you?” He asked, pulling back, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He really liked her and she… She didn’t. It wasn’t fair.

“I don’t think it’s going to—” She was cut off by her phone ring. Great. Amazing. She was trying to communicate, goddamn it. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said as she grabbed her phone from her handbag, frowning at the name showing up.

Fenrys.

They hadn’t been in contact for almost a month. Well, he did try to call. She was the one dodging his calls. Not every good behavior for the new Aelin, but she didn’t care. She was ashamed, and sad, and mad.

She didn’t want to speak to him now. She hung up, and turned her eyes back on Sam. “Sorry, just a friend.” She winced. “I was saying, you’re great and I—”

Her phone rang again, and Fenrys’ name showed up again. Alright, that wasn’t normal. Usually, he called once. If he really was in a mood, he sent her a selfie of his puppy face. But he never called twice in a row. Two calls in a row were reserved for bad news only; she’d heard enough of those to know.

The last time, she’d answered one of Fenrys’ call late at night, Rowan had cut his hand. This couldn’t be worse than that. She was sure of it. For all she knew, it wasn’t bad. Her bad days were over.

“You can answer,” Sam said, voice kind. “You look anxious.”

She winced again. “I’m sorry, I’ll cut this short, I promise.”

He smiled, unbothered. Fuck, she hated what she was about to tell him. He didn’t deserve that.

She took a few steps away from Sam, answering her phone. “What do you want?”

“Aelin,” he breathed, and her spine straightened. He sounded like he was… crying. “It’s Helia, she’s hurt,” he broke down then, crying on the phone. “We don’t know what’s going to happen.”

It was as if Aelin’s world came crashing down. She had flashes. Flashes of her aunt’s dead body in her casket. Flashes of Celaena in that red water. No.

Not again.

Please, she thought as tears spilled down her cheeks. Please, not again.

She couldn’t say anything. Couldn’t breathe anymore. She barely felt Sam’s hands on her shoulder, barely felt him take the phone from her before she threw up on the street, begging the Gods she’d stopped to believe in so long ago.

••••••

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[angelic-writer]

Matt and Maddie Godrick - "A Eulogy Uninterrupted"

"We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a kind and compassionate soul."

Madeline caught a few people murmuring in the crowd. "Yeah, sure. Kind and compassionate." She gripped the skirt of her black dress. Why did this have to happen? At her husband's funeral, of all days.

"The last few days of planning this service were... turbulent, but in the end, through the power of the Lord, Matthew Godrick will now be laid to rest."

The murmuring only got louder. "I hope God judges him for how much of a bastard he was."

"Silence! Speaking this way during the service is disrespectful!" The priest boomed. "If any one of you say one more word-"

"This piece of shit should burn in hell for wishing death to children! To animals! For being the spawn of Satan!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!" He slammed his fist on the podium, making Maddie jump. "All of you, leave! You clearly have no respect for this man! Voice your complaints later!"

The vicars, priests and ministers grabbed the people that were becoming unruly and dragged them out the door. When one of them passed Madeline, he spat in her face. "May God forgive you for marrying such a wicked man!"

Soon enough, the church was empty, save for Madeline who still sat in her seat. She blinked her eyes, trying to hold back tears. That bastard Declan... He did this. He turned the entire city, no, the entire world against him. An innocent man who had done nothing wrong.

The priest ran his hand through his long curls. "I swear, not even a week of this "truthful news" getting out and they're treating this kid like he's fucking Hitler." He clamped his mouth shut. "Crap, I shouldn't say this in the house of God." He caught Madeline sitting alone and went over to her. "Hey... You doing okay?"

She sniffled. "I-I don't know... I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened. He looked so happy on his way to work. We were planning dinner." She rubbed her stomach. "I was gonna surprise him..."

He put his hand on her shoulder. "I know... I know. I have no doubt this is very hard on you. With the media frenzy and people willing to believe Fox News over you..." He sighed. "Well, I guess it's just you now. You can go over and say your goodbyes whenever you're ready. You can stay as long as you want."

Madeline nodded and slowly got up. Smoothing the wrinkles out of her dress, she went to the coffin that had her husband in it. The man who she loved so much...

She closed her eyes. "Matt... I-I don't know if you can hear me, but... I just want to say... Thank you for being there for me. In my brightest days and my darkest nights, you were always there to make me happy. You never hesitated to help people in need. You even visited your sick cousin in the hospital when you had an important business meeting you had to call off. That's something only really good people do."

The priest nodded, smiling softly.

"When I first met you in high school, I thought you would be like any other guy I dated. But you surpassed them by miles. You made me laugh, smile, you took me out to places I liked... We even won prom king and queen. You made high school worth it for me. Heck, I still have the stuffed cow you won for me at the fair. I think I still have it in the attic of our old house. I wish I could've gotten it..." She sniffled. "Throughout college and even job hunting, you were always by my side. I don't regret marrying you, Matthew... And I certainly don't regret being with you one last time."

She laid the flowers down, finally letting her tears fall.

"I promise you, Mattie... I will live on for you. I will get revenge on that bastard for what he did to you." She laid her hand on her stomach once more. "For our little one."

The priest's breath hitched, then he sniffled, wiping his tears with his sleeve. This woman had gone through so much. To hear that her husband was shot down in plain daylight... If there was anything more he could do for her, he would gladly do so.

Sadly, he can't bring back the dead. He can only be there to comfort the loved ones, to help ease their pain for a little bit. He opened the Bible, flipping to a verse he had recited many times before. "In your hands, O'Lord..."