#i love my boyfriend so extremely very much but also my daydreams are impacted bc i know he would never want to live in a remote part | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lightninging · 4 years

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this whole coronavirus thing has put a damper on my usual “run away to northern finland” daydreams so instead of idly looking at rental listings in rovaniemi or oulu i am looking at rental listings in alaska. i have cousins in fairbanks, what if i just like, showed up there and rented a shitty apartment and got a non-academic-escalator job and went camping on my days off

#i think a lot about like. is it moral to be doing astrophysics in this time. am i morally obligated to use my scientific skills #(meagre though they are compared to others') to do climate science. or is it better to stay where i am and instead lobby for #more climate science funding and positions so that more qualified people can do those jobs #anyways #potentially buying a house and having a long-term partner are both good things i like but also feel sorta limiting in some ways????#i love my boyfriend so extremely very much but also my daydreams are impacted bc i know he would never want to live in a remote part #of northern finland or alaska (he's an NYCer who wants to move back to NYC and stay there forever)#and having to sell property would be a big barrier too. i can't just pack myself and a suitcase into my subaru #and drive to alaska on a whim y'know #also..... the futility of moving north to chase winter in a warming world. that. yeah.#climate change here is 'winters are warmer now and nobody has backyard ice rinks anymore and it never snows'#while i know in the arctic it's immediately visible in a profoundly alarming way #there's a version of me in an alternate universe that lives somewhere very cold and plays pickup hockey games on wild ice on the weekends #and owns cold weather camping gear and has seen the northern lights #and i like to daydream about her #but it's harder to pretend that i could drop everything and be her if i wanted to #and i don't like that very much #even though i like the things that are widening the divide between us #personal

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