#i love my anons... zee anons are the best yall are crazy sweet and funny human beings and i love that

[cinnaminsvga]

man dont you ever have like, very true romantic feelings towards your anons??? bc that person that wrote The legendary ask of "i wanna explain to you that i love you" owns my whole heart. i literally daydreamed about them More than once, not a day goes by that i dont think about "you created this place zee, and it has a lot of you, and in every bit of that i find peace" i swear to you i will not rest, i will not settle until i find someone that can say with their whole chest that they find peace in me. i am 100% finding this person and making them fall in love with me. i don't know how you haven't wed them yet. i literally shipped you with this anon since the year 2019 like when i read it i was like "omg are they gonna take this to the dms :$" until i realized i was just projecting. anyways, my question: have you ever just, idk, have the urge to kiss an anon on here? maybe hug a bit? but like, in a shojo manga sense?

I MEAN i wouldn’t say “romantic” but i do feel very fond about many of my anons! also, now that you mention that one specific ask, i actually scrolled through my blog to find that specific one (which i had tagged with #best which honestly... good job me from the past lol) and it filled me with the same fond and warm feelings that i had when i first got it. it’s been almost two-ish years and i still can’t believe that anon sent me such a heartfelt message?? like... what did i do to deserve that... bruh moment (more sappy bullshit under the cut bc i talk for approximately ten years)

but no, unfortunately we did not take it to the dms LMAO i don’t even know if that same anon still sends me asks, let alone if they still follow me! very few of my anons ever “reveal” themselves to me, which i totally understand! it’s way easier to send asks like that when you’re veiled behind a layer of anonymity, so i would never ask anyone to come out of hiding if they don’t want to (but my dms are always open! however, during 2019, i think i had them closed because i was getting a lot of... strange dms at the time but ive reopened them since most of those weirdos have up and left). there have been moments when i reminisce on certain asks like that where i wonder “hmm... i wonder who this person is? how do they perceive me now? do i still take up some space in their mind, perhaps a fleeting thought when they’re driving home or taking a break?” 

this is very embarrassing to say, but i have gotten my fair share of asks in that same sort of style, where anons will tell me they love me and appreciate me, and every single time without fail, i will respond with 100% genuine incredulity because 1) i can’t believe anyone would take the time out of their day to send such a nice, well-meaning letter to me of all people and 2) i can’t believe people think kindly of me and enjoy my presence, as simple as that. it’s crazy to think that i have people like that who see my blog and think “i like this person enough to tell them i appreciate their existence” because... well. i don’t get a lot of that in my real life, so it’s always so jarring (but i always appreciate it, without fail.)

but i must say, that anon who sent me that message... they said that “i created this place” when really, that isn’t quite true. i’ve said in the past that i wanted to “create a space that people can enjoy” and honestly, i think my view on that might have changed a little since then. because in reality, spaces only derive their meanings by the people who fill it. so really, this blog is only worth anything due to the people who have supported me along the way. every kind anon who has taken the time out of their day to drop a small message are the exact people who make this space lively and fun. you, anon, are also one of them! without any of you, my blog would just be me shitposting to the void like a fucking crazy person. these interactions are what make cinnaminsvga a welcoming place, and i will never stop being appreciative of how i get to share these moments with all of you. whether you’ve stayed with me for years or if you’ve only started following me a day ago: you all are what makes this “place” feel like home.

so in short, to answer your question (after me rambling for 3403294 years): yes, i do wish i could kiss/hug every single anon who has been kind to me. i hope you find someone like that anon who can say with their whole heart that they find a home in you, because honestly... it’s a good feeling.