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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 4 days ago

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medialog august-december 2k24

i was like, should i just abandon this and start fresh in 2025... but no. also i'm putting this behind a cut bc it is long but it's shorter than it sounds bc LOL working 7 days a week is not conducive towards having the brain space to interact with a bunch of new art!!

watched

ponyo - THIS IS THE CUTEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD!!! miyazaki/ghibli is a big blind spot for me bc as a kid i was like "but i want anime to be pretty, like sailor moon..." so i never got into kiki or totoro (very stupid but again i was: A Child) and then as an adult, this is embarrassing, i tried to watch spirited away and just literally didn't get it. i was like, i am so confused about what is happening and what emotions i am supposed to be feelings. and i know that spirited away is a movie for children and this makes me stupid. but i have never pretended not to be stupid. anyway i would die for just about every character in this movie and when i watched it a second time to make nick watch it i was so full of tenderness for how lovingly it captures what it's like to be a small child who has a small creature to take care of that i felt like i could explode!

deadpool & wolverine - i think if i had been in a better mood when i saw this movie i would have disliked it more but as it was i was in a HORRENDOUS mood and, basically, had a good time. funny to watch this, the Superhero Movies Isabel Has Never Watched Cameo Show (literally i had never watched an x-men other than first class, in which wolverine only appears to say fuck off, or either of the two deadpools), and still get to experience the same OMG IT'S HIM rush as everyone else did, but for matthew mcfadyen. the guy next to me was like "i love channing tatum" when channing tatum showed up and like, same.

trap - great movie to see with a group of like 10 people with whom to giggle the whole time. josh hartnett understood the assignment and his dad-vibe era is soooo much hotter to me than his twink years ever were (not always the case for me! but between this and how hot he was in oppenheimer i've really warmed to him...). i think it's nice that m. night shyamalan loves his daughter so much. ladyraven has a ballad with the line "faustian trade-offs" which caused me and no one else in the theater to laugh real loud. her music is pretty bad but tbh in an era when people want to put chappell roan on the A-list i'm not even mad. it was funny trying to figure out her niche though because like the vibes are obviously supposed to be taylorish (the cabin onstage... lmao) but the music was giving... idk, ariana? also it's just inherently funny to make a movie premised on the fact that it would be really easy to narrow down who the serial killer is by identifying the adult men at a pop girl concert + this movie REALLY captures the vibe during the opening act no one gaf about a pop event concert, like i saw 5SOS open for 1D and that's exactly what it felt like

popstar: never stop never stopping - rewatch, duh. is this the funniest movie of all time? it's gotta be up there, right?

josie and the pussycats - also a rewatch, duh. love everything about this but most of all the soundtrack, the songs are legit incredible, no fictional band has ever had better music (rip adam schlesinger who contributed some songwriting!!!). first time rewatching this movie since figuring out some Stuff and understand now that rachel leigh cook needs to be on the Oh Those Were Gay Feelings. That's What That Was list. (rosario dawson too, but i already got there with her.)

vice - really incredible to think it would be possible to fuck up a movie about how dick cheney is basically satan but somehow mckay managed. christian bale is a professional though, i feel like we don't appreciate enough that no matter how bad the movie or how stupid the writing he's out there giving an absolute top tier performance every single time.

aliens - sorta half-watched this one but idk i feel like me and james cameron just don't vibe. not as incredible-looking or cool as the first one.

godzilla minus one - really really cute!!!!!!

jurassic park - rewatch on the big screen, still slaps the hardest of almost any movie ever

twentieth century - this is i guess nominally a screwball comedy (howard hawks, 1934, for those of you for whom that means something) but it's about these two toxic theater people who are horrible for and obsessed with each other and it's... darker... than my experience of that genre has usually been. in a way that sort of works in its favor partly because it just gives it a certain interest and partly because the gender politics of screwballs can be so dark themselves so it's kind of a relief that this one lacks the cognitive dissonance of pretending this all isn't horrible? idk. it's a weird one. but i liked it, on balance. there's a (pretty funny tbh) running gag about suicide threats and a really bananas third act plot that comes out of nowhere... great performances across the board and some real bangers dropped into the screenplay!

the substance - i didn't, like, love this, and i think a lot of common criticisms of it are right, but some are also very silly (guys i think the director knows nothing about the morning exercise show makes sense... i don't think she was going for a realistic depiction of 21st century celebrity...), and i did have a good time for the most part (the last 30 minutes is gross in a way that doesn't do it for me... but i know it does it for some people and those people deserve movies too...) and respected its commitment to its own bit, as well as the fact that it's basically a fairy tale (a woman who lives in a tower makes a bargain with a force she doesn't really understand to regain her beauty...). oh also i liked that the thing that drives the back half of the plot is essentially the idea that you simply cannot have a 22 year old's body without also having to contend with a 22 year old's dumb dumb stupid ass piece of shit idiot brain. haven't seen a lot of people comment on that aspect of it but it was like my favorite part!

female trouble - people throw out the word iconic a lot but like what else is there to say? rude, disgusting, occasionally genuinely offensive, mostly (for me) delightfully so... really great to watch with a crowd that would whoop and cheer for I'M SO GLAD I HAD AN ABORTION and THE WORLD OF THE HETEROSEXUAL IS A SICK AND BORING LIFE... also like it's really key for the way this movie functions that divine is a fat drag queen that most people do not consider the pinnacle of beauty but it's incredibly clear that john waters and this movie does... like divine's constant proclamations of her own gorgeousness are in a kind of inherent tension with the average american's disagreement with that sentiment but in a way where it's like, if you disagree you are an idiot and this movie is not yours. she's so hot in this it's crazy!!

michael clayton - i wanted to watch a talky thriller-ish movie and the men of the ringer podcast network literally never shut up about this one so i gave it a shot and it delivered! clooney predictably great but i had no idea tilda swinton & tom wilkinson were in it and they are both also awesome, as is merrit weaver in a small but very well cast role

venom - you can sort of glimpse the movie this movie would be if it weren't shackled to What A Superhero Movie Is Now / loosely to the MCU even though it pretends it's not, and i bet that movie would be a lot of fun!

black christmas (1974) - perfectly done urban legend horror with an interesting little pro choice streak, great cast, camera work so perfectly spooky and tense even i noticed how well it was done, makes good use of the cinematic potential of christmas lights. i really liked that this movie is short and a slasher but all the characters in it feel very well drawn even though we don't spend much time with almost any of them... reminded me that this is actually possible to do and i should be harder on movies that don't do it!

black christmas (2006) - nowhere near as good as the first one, but it is, uh, absolutely bugfuck crazyass bananapants start to end. my favorite of many deranged writing choices in this movie is that the sorority mother makes them all open their secret santa every year with a gift for the murderer who killed his family years ago in this house and then when one of the girls' townie boyfriend is like "this is the house that used to freak us out when we were kids" the sorority mother is like, "why?" ?????????? ok!!!!!

heretic - hugh grant is a fucking movie star. i love sophie turner and the other girl was good too. sort of loses steam once the "actually" scary stuff happens because horror movie shenanigans are hard to make as scary as the situation of two young and not very experienced girls slowly realizing they are trapped in a house with a man who just keeps pushing the boundaries of the social contract a little further, but i had fun

the apprentice - not a good movie but a great viewing experience for those of us who have reblogged in our lifetimes approx. 1 million combined gifsets of sebstan and jerbear... like yeah those are my guys and my guys did great :) i think my favorite thing about it as a movie (other than the way the "look" of it updates with technology, which is a cooler idea i wish had been used for a... better movie?) is that it really beats home the aspect of trmp wherein he has no social skills at all and has never felt authentically comfortable in a group of people in his entire life, which is something i think we should culturally be meaner to him about

gladiator - dumb (affectionate) movie magic. russell crowe has so much movie star charisma while looking so much like Just Some Guy it's literally crazy. when he kisses the little dolly of his wife who's about to die ;_;

raising arizona - miracle movie, can't believe i'd never watched this before. the coens' control of their tone is so incredible to see so early in their work (still gotta watch barton fink one of these day). incredible cast, gorgeous colors, so funny, so weirdly sweet, when it finished i felt like i'd watched a magic trick

erin brokovich - watched this for the first time since high school and like what else is there to say but Queen Icon Legend Slay? i am speaking of course about steven soderbergh but julia is pretty fucking incredible too.

conclave - i'm gonna be real i feel like the hype got to me a lil with this one because it's not as bitchy and fun as i feel like i was led to believe... also requires more buy-in re: the moral direction of the catholic church than i anticipated. however it does have its moments and it's nice to see some of our best actors being good at their jobs and it looks great!

the philadelphia story - i found this movie so delightful to watch that for a moment i really thought she might run off with jimmy stewart at the end and not get back tamed with her abusive ex..... but such was the power of the hepburn/stewart chemistry in that one drunk garden scene that i found myself totally incapable of actually integrating the gender politics of this one into my feelings towards it... like i just couldn't be mad at a movie that gave me a scene that made me want to scream JUST KISS!!!! the most anything has since the first time i watched "cooler"... do you know what that is? for me to bust out "cooler" as a comp? my god... i understand why my friend has been like that about hepburn our whole lives and am also now fully baby jimmy stewart pilled

gladiator ii - the consensus is right on this one: not as good as the first, paul mescal is no russell crowe, but denzel really ate. my friends and i laughed out loud at almost every single denzel scene. we're so lucky to have him.

wicked - bad movie of a bad musical, fundamentally misunderstands the function of songs in a musical and thus shoots every single musical number abominably, as ugly as you've heard, we are not advanced enough technologically for me to emotionally invest in CGI Goat Voiced By Peter Dinklage, but ariana deserves an oscar. the prettyboy was pretty good too. orivo can really sing but her acting was kinda giving Distressed Pixar Mom for me although i'm happy to add this to john m chu's many crimes.

out of sight - the romantic premise of this movie is CRAZY but george clooney kinds of sells it actually because and not in spite of the fact that he's one of those curious Incredibly Handsome But Not Very Sexy actors... like you believe that she wouldn't really hold a grudge against him locking her in a trunk with him, because, what, clooney's gonna act untoward? no... not him... j. lo joins andie macdowell as an actress out of whom soderbergh somehow coaxes a much better performance than experience would lead you to believe she is capable of. shockingly stacked cast of pros doing great, INCREDIBLE production design - banner movie for characters costumed to match or complement their interiors!!!

burlesque - dr. sam from new girl fucks stanley tucci in this movie... i literally can't stop thinking about that. xtina maybe has the all time highest ratio of vocal chops to charisma, she has the screen presence of a recurring character on a cancelled WB drama and then she opens her mouth and you're like, damn. i would watch an 8 season HBO sitcom of cher and stanley tucci running a failing burlesque club. at one point i said out loud "chekhov's air rights." great time

logan lucky - "what if steven soderbergh made a heist movie but decided to put his coen brothers hat on and, also, cast channing tatum as a divorced dad who wants to support his daughter's dreams but is seriously wigged out by pageant culture?" yes please. absolutely. adam driver almost never acts in movies i actually want to see but he really is one of the real ones.

babygirl - one of those movies where i can understand lots of things that didn't work for people but i, personally, was completely rapturous the entire time because i wanted a movie where i could walk out saying "nicole kidman did that" and i got that AND ALSO (a) a story about a perfectionist who hates herself and (b) sex scenes that are funny and weird and awkward and warm and human. that's so many things i love happening at once, i will happily forgive and overlook any flaws. i really just loved how much the two of them are actively figuring this thing out as they go and how that's embarrassing and goofy and also sweet and fun. plus nicole kidman really did do that, i mean, like, my god... my god....

fantasmas - you have to watch fantasmas... why haven't you watched fantasmas yet... i really struggle to imagine the person who would follow My Dumb Blog but not be into fantasmas... "the gay ones don't draw dicks, they draw eyes"... julio torres is the voice of a generation

the franchise - not quite as much of a banger as i wanted to be but likable enough, & i'm a sucker for showbiz jokes (jokes about insecure actors, etc.), although i think chris ryan had a point on the watch pod when he was like, the thing about the satire elements of this show are that if you know anything about the actual production stuff on superhero/franchise movies it's hard to satirize because like, the real stuff is actually just that crazy... there's a running thread about the overworked VFX guy and it's kinda funny but also like, well this lines up more or less with what those teams have actually said... anyway. i want to say i'm a lil bummed it didn't get renewed nonetheless but also i forgot until i was typing up the list of things to document here that i had never gotten around to the season finale, so i guess i can't really honestly claim to be that bummed lol. (watched it while washing dishes - pretty good!) did love daniel bruhl as a sensitive artiste director being soul-crushed by the studio machine though! that guy's great.

read

r. o. kwon, exhibit - this one's tough. ultimately, there were actually a lot of things i liked about this book. it had some moments that felt really human and well observed (when the protagonist says something about how usually orgasms aren't worth the guilt and then says she knows she's letting us down and her paramour says who's us and the protagonist says all women... that's funny and real and not unrelateable to me for different reasons!). the bones of it were i think ultimately solid - like yeah she's terrible at communicating but ultimately the book is about her running away from the hard fact that her husband wants a baby and she doesn't and the psychology holds water throughout, i think. (also a funny paragraph about how she knows how to cook but mostly subsists on like handfuls of nuts and bread dipped into olive oil or whatever and then she's like "and you thought i could raise a child?"... also relateable...) i REALLY related to the idea of being a person who simultaneously has the memory of experiencing the loss of faith in god as genuinely, actually traumatic and also being like "btw my family might be cursed by vengeful spirit, it's a whole thing, but i gotta try to talk to her before i do this because she kind of gave me the idea," and i really liked that the book didn't spend any effort on reconciling these two things because... i mean iykyk, like i really can't explain beyond "sometimes that's what it's like" - AND i also liked the ultimate reveal of that storyline and how it tied into the core character work of the main plot. plus the whole thing is like the "trying stuff out sexually as a vehicle/metaphor for owning your whole self" thing that i (a) have enjoyed writing in fanfiction and (b) really loved watching in babygirl lmao. unfortunately the writing was the most annoying tryhard I Get It You Have An MFA ass prose i have ever encountered... i complained about this at the time but it's craaazyyyy to use the word "mirific" three times in a ~200 page novel lmao. deranged. calm yourself. i also felt like the dialogue was really bad although i guess i can't totally rule out that this is a book about artists and artists actually are that annoying? idk though... it didn't feel stylized it just felt weird... who says "tippled"... so, ultimately i couldn't say that i "liked" this even though it had elements i admired or enjoyed.

naomi klein, the shock doctrine: the rise of disaster capitalism - as i mentioned at the time, very enamored of its framing device in a very popular nonfiction/thomas friedman lite kinda way, but when it's not doing that (which luckily is most of the time), this is an informative and well explicated accounting of the horrors milton friedman has unleashed upon the world. i liked her fundamental argument that you can't politicize along economic grounds horrors committed under communism but not do that for capitalism, which has sort of seeped into general internet leftist thought (a testament to the success of this book) but which i appreciate more having seen how she builds her case.

the red nation, the red deal: indigenous action to save our earth - read this for a mutual aid book club that never happened lol. at the end of this book they're like "well probably none of this is new in the climate justice conversation but we don't think things have to be new to be valuable" and like... on the one hand true... on the other hand if you're even vaguely aware of climate justice discourse... not a lot here is new. i also, perhaps unpopularly, have become kind of a... idk... i mean when people are like "we can't solve climate collapse without dismantling capitalism" these days my reaction is basically "well one of those things might happen in the next two hundred years and it's not dismantling capitalism." i'm not like a tech-zealot but a... tech-realist? idk. this is not what i want to be true but it is my honest accounting of the situation. so, any argument that's like "step one: dismantle capitalism" is... it's just not where i'm at these days.

patrick radden keefe, say nothing: a true story of murder and memory in northern ireland - there are no doubt quibbles or political issues to be had with this book, a story of the troubles focused largely on a particular group of IRA members operating in west belfast in the early 70s - as an idiot coming into this subject basically cold, i would have appreciated slightly more grounding in the political situation leading up to the swelling of violence in this period - but, damn, this book is fucking mesmerizing. keefe really brings the people involved to life, particularly the young IRA members at the heart of his chronicle, and while it's clear he doesn't condone all their actions, my own sense was that he was more interested in truly understanding and making clear their own understandings of their motivations & understanding of themselves & ethical framework than he was in passing judgment (and i also definitely felt like he had a certain admiration for the integrity of someone like brandon hughes or dolours price, who were always willing to own what they did and why they did it, and a genuine disdain for how fucking crazy it is for gerry adams to rebrand as a peacenik when literally everybody knows he spent the early 70s telling people to plant bombs lmao). (also having read empire of pain... he definitely holds the sacklers in lower esteem than the IRA, lol.) the final chapters of the book also touch on the really fascinating difficult question of how you morally reckon with the revolutionary violence you did if the revolution you did it for never came to pass - this is the heart of why his fellow ex-IRA comrades feel so betrayed by adams, who has left them to shoulder the burden of that guilt alone while pivoting to the compromise they once agreed would not suffice which was part of the reason for all the violence, and it is something i think about a lot as someone who would not self identify as a pacifist and thinks the historical record leaves no doubt that sometimes violence is necessary for change but nonetheless feels very reluctant to endorse specific acts of revolutionary violence in theory. thrilling and thorny, ultimately i would say deserving of all the accolades i learned after reading it has apparently received lol.

patrick radden keefe, the snakehead: an epic tale of the chinatown underworld and the american dream - not quite as tremendous-feeling as say nothing, but that's mostly because that's a crazy high bar; this is a really fascinating look at the human smuggling trade (& other organized-ish crime) in NYC's chinatown in the 80s/90s, including the middle aged woman who was at the heart of much of it. contains: some totally deranged gang warfare stories; a really fascinating look at the weirdness of chinese immigration policy in the 90s, when china's one-child policy pushed normally anti-immigration republicans to switch on this issue for pro-life reasons (the one child policy... maybe the one thing every american politician shares the same view on, for different reasons?); interesting background on fujian, the high-outmigration region of china from whence many of the principles in this story came; an accounting of an insane boat journey gone so wrong that at one point after the would-be migrants have been trapped in a harbor off the coast of africa (i forget which country), when they finally leave, two of them decide to stay because the chinese restaurant they've opened is doing so well. i keep thinking about the fact keefe highlights that of the hundreds of doomed migrants on this hugely traumatic journey who wound up deported after crash-landing, nearly all of them eventually made their way back to the US.

kazuo ishiguro, nocturnes - my first ishiguro since my teen ishiguro phase (a concept that should really be regarded the way that teens getting into heavy metal and grunge is in pop culture e.g. a sign to check in on their mental health lmao). didn't love these but i can't tell if that's because i prefer ishiguro as a novelist or because i'm just bad at reading short stories... also to be fair there were at least 2 ishiguro novels i read back then and was like "the fuck was that" lol. some very funny moments and a lot of like, amusing portraits of unlikable people, and i do love his style, which is like, a pathologically conversational first person that years of reading since has taught me is much more technically difficult than it looks, but ultimately it felt pretty slight.

naomi klein, doppleganger: a trip into the mirror world - klein takes on, like, "the wellness to alt right pipeline" is an oversimplification but topics in that neck of the woods, inspired by the wack ass shit constantly being tweeted by Other Naomi (wolf), with whom klein is frequently confused on twitter. this is an inherently very funny premise for a book and a lot of what klein says is in my view pretty accurate, and some of her literary/theoretical musings on dopplegangers as a Thing are interesting to read, plus the whole thing is on topics of interest to me, aka Alt Right Derangement And Weird Shit People Are Up To Online. however..... so klein says that she herself was very offline until covid happened, basically, and so if you have been online longer, and especially if you have been actively reading stuff about Weird Shit People Are Up To Online, then this book is basically a smart person catching up with topics you yourself already know a lot about. so in a funny way i found this a more enjoyable read than the shock doctrine, because it's less of an unrelenting fucking bummer about human evil and suffering, but it was also less enriching, because she didn't really bring any new insight to topics that, again, are probably in the top 5 of Post Headlines I'm Most Likely To Click On. like yeah, deranged alt right types are using the language of social justice and inequality and bodily autonomy to further their various causes... tru... i mean it is tru... i also think the fact that her default is a Not Online person who only changed her vibe after covid makes her a bit more of an internet doomer bc she doesn't viscerally get the nontoxic value possible to find in Online through diligent curation lol. but i do think it was a solid accounting of the subcultures and and ideologies she explores so like i said i basically liked it and if you're less tuned into weird internet radicalization currents than i am you will probably find it informative!

suzanna clarke, piranesi - i don't even know what to say about this one, probably tied with tender as my favorite book i read last year (strong fantasy year for me i guess). it's so crazy that suzanna clarke wrote jonathan strange & mr. norrell, the most perfect book of all time, and then did this, which is also the most perfect book of all time, in a completely different way. her gift for atmosphere and voice is second to none and in this one she uses it to draw us into caring so deeply for a narrator who can't even remember his own past - the book in some ways is a mystery and the doling out of information is perfectly paced but the reason it works is because we just love this guy because of how much he loves the universe. the final chapter expresses something about survival & upheaval & change (&, sure, trauma, if you want) that, as i said before & will come as no surprise, is so so so precisely keyed into an idea so deeply important to me... ahh! just sublime!

v. c. andrews, flowers in the attic - book club!! this book is CRAZY but there's only two real things i want to say about it: (1) a lot of what's totally deranged about it is that on the one hand, it has the most gothic novel ass set-up ever - horrible incest house of dark secrets and shame, children literally living in an attic, physical decay, etc. etc. - and on the other hand in all other respects its sensibilities are the most american 70s suburban ass thing, so that it's like, a gothic novel where the evil mother goes to secretary school and the kids watch sitcoms and cut construction paper in the secret attic... like, the tonal clash is soooo crazy, it's incredible; and (2) ok so like by the time it happens you 100% want those siblings to fuck. like. you just do.

suzanna clarke, jonathan strange and mr. norrell - counting this as last year even though i read the second half in january lol. ummm best book in the world. third time through and i genuinely think it gets better every time. most purely pleasurable reading experience of all time.

stephanie mccurry, confederate reckoning: power and politics in the civil war south - ditto re timing (technically i have like a couple pages of this one left and a few more quotes to post lol). i picked this back up as a comfort reread after the election and it slaps so hard it's crazy. love to read about how a bunch of war-losing loser traitors lost in no small part because it's hard to wage war as a modern state committed to resisting the tides of modernity!!!! sucks 2 suck!!!!!

listened

maude latour, sugar water - i'm kind of obsessed with maude latour not in terms of being obsessively in love with her music, although i think she's very good, but because she's my go-to example of someone out here doing girlpop toiling away in the spotify minds unremuneratively who i would easily and even gladly swap fame-wise with basically any of the pop girls in our current rising class (thinking of olivia/chappell/sabrina... none of whom are like terrible - well ok i have yet to hear a chappell roan song i think is actually good lol but i guess she can sing and it's nice that she's gay - but also alleged newcomers like tate mcrae? addison whoever? madison beer? these are not real people stop trying to act like they're real people! ladyraven ass pop girls...). she just makes really solid, well written, inventive but still catchy pop. i returned to this short album a lot more than i expected to, often thinking i wanted to hear just the first song (a standout) and then realizing i was happy to let the rest play through. also gay stuff, if you care about that.

sabrina carpenter, short n sweet - like it's all very competent and espresso deserves its flowers but who cares? who could possibly ever care? i've been SUCH an antonoff apologist and please please please is the first song where i felt like i was hearing him as his haters hear him, it sounds like shit. there are better moments and worse moments, some ok lines, she can sing, etc., but where's the vision? where's the personality? nothing to grab on to.

beabadoobee, this is how tomorrow moves - beabadoobee is obviously talented and intelligent and her music sounds enough like a kind of music i like that i always feel like i should like her more... but i think she's a little too stripped down and sophisticated for me. that said "ever seen" was one of my top songs of 2024, total absolute BANGER

charly bliss, forever - doesn't quite live up to the heights of young enough, but given that young enough is a strong contender for my favorite album of the past decade, i'm not really sure it could. this one is pop-punkier and very hooky lots of fun, and i just love eva's taffy-pull voice and wanna listen to her sing anything. also it has a song that sounds so much like a pop punk version of a kesha song it's legit uncanny to me.

pom pom squad, mirror starts moving without me - big step up from their last album, IMO, and i liked that a lot too! ambitious in an interesting way but also lots of fun. this one also has a song that at points sounds so much like a kesha song it's crazy, as does a 2023 album i was recently listening to by underscores... i feel like we're living in a big post-kesha moment and i don't know if anyone is appreciating it enough...

pale waves, smitten - i agree with pale waves that "what if avril lavigne got really into shoegaze and was also gay" is a great idea for an album. really pretty production on this one!

070 shake, petrichor - my friend dave was like "this album might be bad but i'm obsessed with it" and i listened out of solidarity and was like, i don't like this but i can understand why you specifically would. friendship!

charli xcx, brat and it's completely different but it's still brat - i never really listen to enough albums to justify having an album of the year but something about the release of the remix album really opened up the whole project to me and i was completely obsessed with it for a while and still love it. track by track most of the remixes are not quite as good as the original track (although some, like caroline polacheck's gorgeous turn on everything is romantic, are definite upgrades), but something about the spirit of generosity that infuses the project, the way it makes it all feel like a project more than an album, the sense that charli has thrown this party and she's invited up and coming spanish rapper bbtrix alongside ariana grande, the way it's less disciplined than the album proper but more expansive, at some points grimier and clubbier and at other points more emotive and romantic... idk. feels like a whole world. the so i remix alone, like - releasing a sad song about your friend who died, and then releasing a faster song about all the fun shit you used to do, that sounds more like a song your dead friend would have produced, is one of the most loving acts i have ever seen committed through art and it made me cry even though i never connected with SOPHIE's music bc i'm not really cool enough to be into hyperpop. rooting for charli at the grammies even though i know it's not gonna happen lmao.

other

jenny holzer at the guggenheim - there was a jenny holzer installation at the guggenheim!! it was really cool!! i finally understood something @rgr-pop said years ago about how it matters that she is a visual artist and her words (incredible as they often are as words) appear physically in a space. it is in fact Different, to see them in a space. in addition to The Classics (i got so fannishly excited spotting IT IS IN YOUR SELF INTEREST TO FIND A WAY TO BE VERY TENDER lmao), the installation also included a lot of her more recent and more overtly political stuff, some of which engaged specifically with the bush ii administration & iraq/afghanistan, which made for intense viewing given that i happened to go right around the time i read the shock doctrine (as did spotting the one about how mothers who have a reason to cry should do so in public....). jenny holzer is great! so glad i could experience that!

#isabel 2k24 #media 2k24 #OK now those can finally be put to bed lol

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superblysubpar · 1 year ago

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We'll Call It Love masterlist | It Had To Be You masterlist

the song: Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me) by Train // It Had To Be You playlist

warnings: this story is a part of the series We’ll Call It Love, and much of it would be spoiled if you read this first. It’s linked above, and I hope you love it! | series warnings pertain

2.8k words

A/N: After finishing this chapter, I highly recommend reading the one shot "You're Still The One" linked here, before reading the last story in the It Had To Be You collection | Also, as always, thank you to @rebelfell for her Halloween Party blurb about Eddie in this universe - you can read the story here which is hinted at in part of the story below

“This was a bad idea.”

He drags his feet, shaking his head behind the girl dressed as Morticia Addams.

“Oh my god, I did not listen to you talk about grand gestures and this movie for an hour while you changed in and out of the costume six times, Steve.”

“But-”

Leigh spins, resulting in Steve almost smacking right into her. She crosses her arms and huffs, “Did you or did you not say that if you show up in this costume maybe she would see how sorry you are, see how you really feel, see-”

“I know! But I really don’t think it was a good idea any more. She threw a beer in my face last time. Plus, I…I made my choice.” Steve goes to run a hand through his hair, remembering he has this stupid costume on and rests his hands on top of it instead. He kicks at the brick wall, avoiding Leigh’s perceptive gaze.

“Right. So then get inside. Tell her you’re a pirate. I don’t care. But I did not get dressed up for you to stand outside this bar all night and wallow.”

Leigh slaps at his chest, two quick pats and then spins him and pushes him into the crowded and dimly lit bar.

“Drinks?” Leigh leans in, shouting over the throbbing bass playing, squinting in the purple neon light and strobes hitting her face.

Steve nods and follows, glancing around, pretending he’s not looking for one person in particular. He needs to apologize, he needs to tell you what’s going on, he just needs…you. But when he finally spots a red dress, he’s suddenly finding it a little hard to breathe because you did come as Buttercup, and you’re more beautiful than ever.

It feels a little like the first time he saw you at Argyle’s all those months ago. There’s a spotlight hitting you, and there’s suddenly a reprieve in the thrumming music and it feels a little like Steve is walking through jello to get to you. And when you engulf Robin in a hug, and your face is pinched in pain over her shoulder, every part of his body aches.

When you separate, and face the bar, he watches the looks of bewilderment cross each of your faces, and he blurts out the first thing he can think of when Leigh elbows him in the ribs.

“Well, there isn’t much money in revenge.”

Smooth, idiot.

Steve doesn’t hear Robin at first, or watch Leigh. All he sees is the anger and hurt flash across your face at the sight of him. There isn’t an ounce of you that cares he’s in this costume for the reason he is.

You hate him, and it’s too late to change that.

“...if you want to ditch Dingus here…”

Steve’s too hot in this damn costume and he glares at Robin, because he can’t be mad at her for complimenting Leigh, but the way your face twitches when she does means it’s clearly not helping and he can’t say so…so…

“Seriously Robin? Are you being serious right now? Where’s Nancy?”

When Leigh asks you where your dress is from and you look like you want to answer but then spin to the bar and blurt out the name of the most expensive drink, Steve wants to throw up. It was all a big mistake.

“Robin, where is Nancy? And Eddie? I wanna wish him luck before they go on!” Leigh loops her arm through Robin’s tugging her away from the bar. It’s not lost on Steve when she looks over her shoulder and Leigh points to you, mouthing ‘Talk to her’ with a frown and glare. He rolls his eyes and waves her away.

Standing next to you, in this costume, not talking, hurts more than he thought possible. It’s like words sit on the tip of his tongue, ready, needing to come out, but he’s too afraid to say them. And what happens if he does say them? Will you suddenly be a fan of relationships? Will you suddenly be able to tell him everything about yourself? Will this suddenly work?

Maybe, if he pays for your drinks, it’ll be the open doorway he needs. Start the conversation.

But you ruin that plan as you push crumpled bills over the bar quickly when he pulls out his card, and he sighs.

“You’re not seriously wearing that.”

Steve’s not even sure you realize you said it. It comes out soft, timid, like you haven’t spoken in hours and aren’t sure you remember how to. Which makes sense, because he feels the same way, like not talking to you for the last few weeks has made him incapable of doing so all together.

He watches your pulse on your throat like some crazy obsessive vampire-like guy, he memorizes the twitch in your jaw, the inhale and exhale making your chest rise and fall. He traces each dip and curve of your face, hardened and closed off when you finally look at him. Steve swallows, searching the entirety of your face for some sort of hint that you get what he’s trying to do. That you get why he’s in this costume. A sign. A nudge. A promise that if he keeps trying, it won’t happen right away, but you’ll try too.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Are you fucking kidding me Steve? After everything, after what you said at the game, you’re really gonna stick to not admitting what this is?”

You gesture to his whole body and something inside of him starts to bubble, sick of you not admitting it either. How you know why he’s in this costume. You have to know. And instead of facing your own feelings about it, you’re blaming him.

“I’m just a pirate. I don’t know what your problem is.”

Steve stares at you and you glare at him and he wonders if it’ll ever be okay again. Will you ever give him a chance to talk and will he be brave enough to spit it out if you do and will you ever be willing to do so yourself.

It’s this horrible, painful, awkward, long moment of him not admitting and you not admitting that you’re definitely wearing a couples costume embodying truest love - that you both know he’s not just a pirate - when a random asshat claps Steve on the shoulder and says “Oh nice! As you wish, dudes!”

As you flip Steve off, he decides to be the bigger person, to apologize, to try to explain why he’s in this costume even if it puts his heart out there for you to step on. But you’re already retreating through the crowd before he can, weaving in and out of it and towards the exit.

Steve watches you blatantly ignore Eddie and that bubbling irritation inside of him starts to grow at the thought of Eddie coming to your rescue again. At the thought of you turning to him for comfort.

“Dude, where are you-”

“I need to talk to her. Just…don’t let Robin see.” Steve pushes at Eddie, vaguely taking in the costume involving fur and glasses and the letterman jacket he can’t even begin to piece together, before he’s following you outside.

The air is cool against his skin, forgetting how good it felt to not be inside that bar in only a few minutes. There’s a bouncer smoking, a few people down the block, and Steve pulls at the suffocating mask and hat when he spots you walking away. He reaches out for your shoulder, calling your name.

“Don’t touch me, Steve.”

When you yank your shoulder from his touch, the tone of your voice, something inside of him shatters.

How can he be the reason you sound like that? How can he be the reason your face looks like that?

He holds his hands up in surrender, deciding he’ll just leave tonight. It was too soon.

“Look, I just want to make sure you’re okay. You can-”

When you interrupt him, when you tell him he’s not your boyfriend, the irritation he’s been keeping shoved down begins to grow from its small simmer. And when you can’t help but get closer to him despite the words coming out of your mouth, despite telling him he’s not your friend, he knows he’s about to say things he can’t take back.

“You’d like that right?” That’s it, case closed. Y/N calls the shots and decides everything…”

Maybe he doesn’t want to take it back. Maybe he needs to say this. To make it clear he’s not the one fucking this up. You are.

“...You’re a spoiled brat who’s mad because you’ve lost a toy.”

If he acts like it doesn’t hurt, maybe it won’t.

Your scoff and eye roll punctuate your words, “Me? The spoiled brat? Excuse me, Mr. 50th floor and Daddy’s Credit Card. Take a look in the fucking mirror, Steve!”

What the fuck do you actually have to be mad at him for? It’s not like you love him. It’s not like you care about him. It’s not like this was anything more than sex to you, right.

Right?

When he shouts, when he pleads for you to tell him what you have to be upset with him for, and your chin quivers and your eyes get glassy, he thinks you might admit it. He thinks maybe you’ll say it and he’ll say sorry and you’ll tell each other right here, right now, everything you’ve been holding back.

And then you shove him.

And you tell him he’s a hypocrite.

And a liar.

An asshole.

Bullshit.

Each word accompanied by a shove to his chest he doesn’t even try to defend himself against. He doesn’t even try to argue. Because are you wrong?

And when you tell him to lose your number, and he searches one last time for any sign of you feeling the opposite of what you just shouted at each other, he says the only thing he can think to say at that moment.

The only thing to convey how sorry he is.

The only thing to possibly tell you how he feels despite you breaking his heart right now.

“As you wish.”

“This was such a bad idea,” you groan, tying a ribbon around a little mesh bag for the fifth time in less minutes.

You sit in your living room on the carpet. The lights are off save one lamp glowing behind the couch, shining on Inigo passed out in his dog bed just under the blue glow of the TV screen. Piles organized by category for the little favors to be left on plates for guests take over the entirety of the room and Steve stands in the dining room.

He swipes his wrist over his forehead, staring at his suit hanging from the overhead light fixture. Steam from the iron in his hand swirling around him as he grimaces at the stubborn wrinkles in the fabric.

“I told you not to volunteer for that. Should have made Eddie do it. He hasn’t done a thing.”

It’s the hottest night of the Summer so far, and he stands there in only his boxers and a plain white shirt, barefoot, you in a sports bra and boyshorts, both surfaces of your skin glistening with sweat despite the AC running overtime.

The way you both are wearing next to nothing would normally have you finishing the job, tangled limbs and messy kisses, cooling off in the shower together.

Normally, a wedding of your best friends would have someone grow closer to the person they’re dating and living with. Surrounded by all this planning, all this public devotion, all this love, should make a person imagine themselves in the same situation.

You’re not normal.

You hum, starting to go around to the piles, collecting hershey kisses and disposable cameras, chapsticks and pencils as you respond, “Eddie isn’t the maid of honor or the best man.”

If you were to look up, you’d see Steve watching you closely, see the way his brows knit together when you roll your eyes at the customized tic tacs.

“Jesus,” you mutter under your breath, “This is exactly what’s wrong with weddings. I can’t believe Robin and Nancy are into all this.”

Steve sets the iron down, the newest but certainly not the first comment against weddings rubbing him the wrong way.

Again.

“Into telling everyone how much they love each other?”

You snort, shaking your head as you tie another bag closed and toss it in a bucket to bring to the venue tomorrow.

“I don’t think you need chocolate and lip balm and sunglasses and beer cozies to tell people how you feel.”

“Sure,” Steve runs a hand through his hair and you look up, finding him leaning against the kitchen island, arms crossing over his chest as he keeps going, “Maybe they don’t need all of that but-”

“I don’t think they need any of it, Steve,” you clarify before he can get too going about the beauty and meaning behind the day you’re all about to have tomorrow.

Again.

“There’s nothing wrong with them wanting to tell everyone in any way possible they can, that they love each other.”

You sigh. “I don’t get why they need to tell people in the first place, Steve.”

Aside from a laugh track on the TV, it’s silent and you keep your eyes on your fingers tying green ribbon around pale pink bags.

Steve finally breaks first, his voice soft when he asks, “What do you mean you don’t get why they need to tell people?”

Shrugging, you avoid his gaze you can feel on the side of your cheek as you start on another bag. “I mean, I don’t get why they need to tell people.”

“Like the entire wedding? You don’t get why they’re having a wedding?”

Your shoulders rise and fall in a shrug again.

Steve’s heart hammers in his chest while yours pounds in your ears as his voice tries to remain even, but you hear it crack as it rises in volume.

“You don’t think they should be getting married? You don’t think they should have a wedding?”

“No, I didn’t say that. I just don’t get why weddings exist. Does anything really change? Suddenly you have a legal piece of paper? Cool? After, what? Thousands of dollars. Stress. Bad food. Shitty music. I mean, we’ve watched Robin and Nancy fight over stupid shit like cake flavors the past year. How is that good for anything?”

Steve steps closer to you, his hand running through his hair making it stick up all over the place as his cheeks flush pink.

“But they love each other and they want to tell everyone that-”

“Why do they have to tell everyone? Shouldn’t everyone already know? And why do they have to spend all this money and throw this big party? That’s all I’m saying.”

You stand again, going to grab the bucket of favors to bring it to the car so you don’t have to in the morning but Steve is shaking his head, volume and his thoughts ramping up.

“They want to throw this party because they love each other so much they just wanna scream it any way they can. Because they want it to be legal. Because they want to have fun with all the people they love and celebrate something so beautiful and unique and strong like their love. I don’t understand how you don’t understand that.”

You stand in front of him, holding the bucket, and maybe it’s the weight of the favors or the way his voice is getting louder and the apartment is getting hotter or the way his eyes seem to have you under a microscope that you snap back a little mean, that you get a little loud yourself.

“Because I don’t understand it, Steve, like I said! I don’t think you need to-”

“It’s not a need. They want to-”

“Fine! Want then! I don’t understand what possesses a person to want a wedding!”

Steve steps closer to you, his brows pinched and his hands running wild through his hair as he yells, “A fucking marriage! A partnership! A way to tell the world ‘hey this is my person, I love them’!”

“I don’t see why you need a wedding for any of that to be true!” You shout right back.

You stand there facing each other, with ragged breaths that move your chests up and down almost in sync.

Steve’s swallow is loud, his inhale louder. Time seems to stretch on forever as he stares at you, as his eyes soften into something you can’t quite describe, as flashes of the words he just said and what you said back swirl around you, almost tangible.

You stand there, in a sea of pink and green, of things that are emblazoned with Robin and Nancy’s names and the words love and forever staring you down as Steve’s voice comes out sharp, cracked, vulnerable, loud.

“You wanna marry me, right?”

#we'll call it love #it had to be you #steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington fic #steve harrington series #steve harrington angst #superbly subpars writing

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bbgnyx · 1 year ago

Note

Hi babe it's me leigh ✌ Saw your song requests like 10 secs ago so 👀👀

song name: in the stars by benson boone

song lyric: and now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far

pairing: minho x female reader

disc: the reader dies and minho is just devastated and he cries for the first time in front of everyone and stays ☹️ (I'm bad at descriptions save me-)

Anyway thx for reading!!!

a/n: omg babe this song has been running in my head recently so this request was like you read my mind 😭✋. This was so sad to write honestly, hope it matches what you had in mind!

my taglist is open btw, just message me if you wanna be part of it!!

And now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far~

genre: angst

warnings: very sad, church and god are mentioned, mentions of blood and death, indirect mention of cancer, mention of a funeral. lmk if I miss anything

Sunday mornings used to hold so much joy for Minho. It was the one day he could spend with you, and it filled his heart with happiness. The two of you would go on adorable picnics, visit malls, and sometimes even attend church together. He couldn't help but think how beautiful you looked with your hair up and that radiant smile on your face. Minho was a softie, but only when it came to you.

He remembers the times when he would get jealous of you because Soonie Doongie and Dori seemed to love you more than him. He cherishes the memories of cuddling up in bed with you, watching movies together. Every little thing about you, he adored. You were his angel. But now, Sunday mornings are no longer his favorite. Not after everything that has happened.

When he was with you, Sunday mornings held a different meaning. Now that you're gone, Minho knows that nothing will ever be the same again. If he doesn't have concerts or practice, he simply sleeps in, avoiding going out because it only brings back painful memories. He has even lost his faith in God, burying it alongside you, deep beneath the earth.

Minho has lost count of how many times he has stood there, screaming at God, questioning why the love of his life was taken away from him. Why did God seem to hate him so much, leaving him to suffer like this? He is constantly lost in his thoughts, not knowing what else to do but cry himself to sleep, knowing that you will never be there to comfort him again.

Minho still remembers the day you were admitted into the hospital, they said you were okay, they said you only had to go through a small surgery. All of it were lies. That day, Minho’s band had won an award, but he couldn’t even relish the happiness as he soon got a call from your mother.

“She’s in a critical stage, she has lost a lot of blood, the doctors don’t know if they can save her”, your mom said sobbing through the phone. At that moment, it took Minho his everything not to leave the award show immediately and fly back home to you. He had been crying all day and all night, worried about you. He should be there with you, he thought.

On Sunday, he took the award and flew back to you as soon as possible. Only to be informed that you’re gone, you’re not with him anymore. You had passed away.

Minho remembers the day of your funeral. The weight of your absence crushed him, burying his heart alongside you, six feet under the ground. “It’s okay Minho, she loves you with all her life,” your mother said, trying to console him. He felt weak and helpless then.

All these pent-up emotions let loose at his most recent concert. You had always told him to show his emotions to others, not to close his heart away. So he cried, he cried like he had lost everything and he did. He lost you, and you were his everything, you were the earth and he was the moon and now he didn’t have anything to revolve around. On that stage, he crumbled, his fellow members offering solace, while fans shed tears alongside him, showering him with words of comfort.

It felt as though he had loved you for an eternity, but he realized that the time he spent with you was merely a fraction of his lifetime, while you had loved him throughout your entire existence. This realization shattered him to his core. How was it fair? You had promised to always be by his side, to never leave him alone. And you kept that promise, remaining faithful even in death. But what about him? He wasn't there when you underwent surgery, he wasn’t there through your suffering and he wasn't even there when you took your final breath.

He felt stupid not to realise that you were suffering. He hated that you hid your condition from him. He always wondered why you asked him what he would do if you weren’t there. He always replied, “I’ll protect you so nothing ever happens to you, my love”. But now he couldn’t protect you and that broke him, and it would break him till he took his last breath and he would be lying if he said he didn’t wish that day came soon so he could see you again. But all he knows now is that he loved you, loves you and will continue loving you.

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justagirlwholikesadam · 11 months ago

Text

Thank You

Johnny x FEM! Reader

Summary: Johnny finds himself in the comfort of your home after saving you.

A/n: I haven't read or seen a fanfic on him, maybe because his character is honestly a lot but I wanted to write something from the movie, Naked (1993) Mike Leigh. Enjoy-L

Warning: Johnny being Johnny, mention of rape and abuse, reader almost being SA, Johnny talks to himself, Johnny has a crush, act of stealing.

Word Count: 4K

The night was freezing more than usual and Johnny’s slim cheeks were red from the cold. His only source of warmth was the cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. He was leaning against a building trying to hide away from the harsh cold winds while watching the citizens of London walking up and down the streets.

His blue eyes pierced at whoever walked past him, they all looked happy, they all looked like they had somewhere to be unlike him. His hands shook from the cold and he placed them under his armpits trying to warm them up. It was futile, his whole body shook from the frigid air.

Shutting his eyes, he started to think about his next plan. Visiting his ex, Louise was a failure. It was pointless even after he hooked up with her roommate, Sophie. The dark haired girl, Sophie, excited him for a while. She had a pretty face and he slept with her but she caught feelings for him. That was a no go for him after Louise, he thinks being in love is pointless after she left him for a new job but he knew deep down she left him because of his ways. Cheating on her constantly and treating her badly. He realized perhaps it wasn't love. The tons of books he read that had love in it, was not the same he had for Louise. He was lonely that's why he had Louise around, he had her for the nights when he couldn't sleep and he needed something warm.

Johnny sighs to himself as he remembers Sophie following him, following his every move, telling him that she loves him and understands him. He slept with her one more time and hit her head against the arm of the couch multiple times making her understand he wasn't a good guy. A part of him, like it though. Being bigger than her but his attraction towards her turned into disgust. She didn't have any standards. Still following him around like a puppy after what he just did to her.

His stomach growled and he can’t recall when was the last time he ate. The girl from the diner was kind to him, she reminded him of a mouse. A depressed mouse, she looked so sad when he mentioned it to her. She went crazy, forcing him to leave her house after she had invited him in. He cursed at her nasty words and he felt bad for a moment, just a brief second. So now, he was out in the freezing cold and his stomach was aching for something.

His eyes shot open when he heard laughter, it was a nice sound. He can’t recollect when was the last time he actually laughed, a genuine laugh. One of those laughs that made your stomach hurt and left you out of breath.

“That’s what I told him.” You told your friend on the phone, crossing the street. Your body shivered when a gust of wind blew. In the corner of your eye you see a tall man with shaggy hair. He looked sickly and his dark clothes were blending in the night.

You nodded, a hello at him when you caught his eyes, you kept walking, telling your friend to repeat what she just said.

Johnny looks at you as you keep walking. You had seen him, Johnny is so used to being in the background, invisible to the human eyes. You had seen him and greeted him like a human with decency.

He’s been standing by the building for hours and no one had even caught his eyes. Johnny looked at them, but they would just simply ignore them and continue on. Johnny is an observer, he’s always been since he was a child. So when a man passed him, he looked at him and it didn't take Johnny long to see the man was holding a knife. He spotted it and he saw a glimmer of the steel of the knife shine under the street lamps.

He saw you stopped by the corner, waiting for the light to turn red so you could pass. You got off the phone. Tugging your bag close to your body, you stuffed your hands inside the pockets of your coat for warmth. Johnny followed the man, throwing the bud of the cigarette on the sidewalk.

Johnny’s quick on his feet, he hears the man breathing heavily. Million thoughts rushed through Johnny's head. The man was thinking of robbing you, perhaps the man was going to kill you or worse. In Johnny's eyes, you were a pretty thing and by the way that the man was following you. That man was going to do the worst thing to you. Unaware of the man coming up behind you. You started to walk across the street when the light turned.

You hear a shout and you look over your shoulder to see a man in a black puffer jacket and a beanie. His dark eyes were wide and his mouth was parted open as he stared at you. He licked his lips as he looked up and down at you. You saw the man standing by the building running behind him and wrapping his arms around the man with the knife as he shouted once more.

You gasped when you saw the knife and without a single thought you swung your purse at the man holding the knife. Johnny released the man when he saw you were about to swing.

You swung your purse at the man’s face. The man with the knife came tumbling down like a sack of potatoes on the sidewalk.

Johnny heard you shout as you swung your bag over the man’s head.

“Motherfucker! You son of a bitch!” Johnny took a step back as you kept swinging. He kicked the knife to the road before the man would wake up and grab it.

"Thank you." You told him before sliding your bag up on your shoulders. Johnny doesn't know what to say. He doesn't recall being thanked before.

The man groaned before falling unconscious on the ground. You look up at Johnny.

"Jesus, love. What you got in that bag?" Johnny asked you as you stepped back from the man on the ground.

Johnny watched as you open your bag and pulled out a glass Tupperware with a hydro flask.

"Should we call the cops? Or the ambulance?" You asked Johnny and shakes his head.

"That asshole wanted to rob you. Probably rape you and you want to call an ambulance for him?" He asked you.

"You're right. Fuck him." Johnny nodded like that response better. That piece of shit didn't deserves your kindness. You were about to walk away when you remember he was waiting by the building.

"Were you waiting for someone over there?" You asked him and he shook his head at you.

You felt bad, leaving him in the cold. He did help you, without his shout. You surely would have been dead. He was nice enough to run and wrap his arms around him to stop him.

“Do you have a place to stay?” You asked as you shivered when another gust of wind blew.

Johnny shook his head once more. “Come on then.”

Johnny doesn’t think he heard you right. His brows knitted in confusion when you turn to start walking and look over your shoulder at him.

“Come on. I’m freezing my tits off.” You said. You hear him behind you.

“I swear if you try anything. I’ll hit you so hard with my bag.” Johnny keeps looking at you. He’s walking next to you and he can see your face up close. You are absolutely beautiful, he thinks to himself. It was a short walk and he followed you into a building. Opening the glass door, you hold it out for him. Walking inside he notices there's another door.

“Excuse me.” He hears you say softly and he feels you brush against him when you take out your keys from your bag. Johnny stares down at you and you unlock the door. Opening the door, you shoot him a smile and he can’t help but smile back. It wasn’t one of those fake smiles that he always received from other people. Your smile was genuine.

“I'm just down the hall.” You tell him as you shut the door after he walks in. The inside of the building was dingy and he notices there’s a staircase to the right side of the hall. He follows you down the hall and notices the welcome mat in front of your apartment. The white paint on the door was chipping and the number of the door was hanging upside down.

Johnny doesn’t say anything. He was just grateful that he found a place to stay for the night. Somewhere warm, he didn’t want to sleep another night in the park, especially in the cold. He rubs his hands tighter for warmth as you open the door.

“Come in.” You tell him and he enters first. The lights turned on and your apartment was the complete opposite of outside the hallway. The hallway was dark and grimy, while the inside of your apartment was colorful. He steps into the room and notices a light brown couch in the middle of the room. There’s a small tv in front of it. He notices the large bookshelf next to a window.

“I’ll get started on dinner. You must be hungry.” You say walking past him, dropping your bag on the coffee table.

Removing your coat, Johnny takes note of your clothes. You wore black leggings with an oversized sweater. You turned to hang your coat and his eyes looked down to see your ass.

“You okay?” You turn to him when you realize he hasn’t spoken.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t introduce myself. I’m -.” Johnny repeats your name and looks down to see your hand is out for him to shake.

“I’m Johnny.” He says shaking your hand. You jumped when you felt how cold his hands were.

“You poor thing.” You say rubbing your hands with his to warm them up. Johnny doesn’t think he ever felt someone so warm like you. He doesn’t know why he becomes so insecure with you being so close to him.

“I’ll make you some tea or do you want coffee to warm you up?” You’re still holding his hand and you look up at him.

His eyes were so magnetic, it drew you in. The lovely shade of blue you have ever seen. He was so tall next to you and you looked down at his lips. They were chapped and he smelled like cigarettes and the cold air.

“Tea would be alright.” Johnny tells you and you pull him by the hand into the kitchen. The kitchen was small. You signal him to sit down on the dining table that only fits two. It was against the wall near the fridge.

“Can I smoke here?” He asked you as you started to turn on the stove.

“Yea.” You answered him while opening a cabinet above the stove. Johnny watched you take out an ashtray and placed it in front of him with a small smile. You move so effortlessly around the kitchen it almost looks like you were dancing. You put on the kettle after filling it up with water.

“Have you lived here all your life?” He asks you while you grab a few things from the fridge.

“No, I’ve been here for three years.” Johnny listens to you while smoking as you tell him where you are originally from.

“Did you hate it over there so much? That you had to come over here?” Johnny asked and was surprised when you weren’t shocked by his question. Not many people will tell their business to a complete stranger. You were open and you didn't seem to mind his questions.

“No, I like my hometown. I came over here for work.” You told them while beginning to cut up some vegetables.

The depressed mouse that worked in the dinner had given him a bath as well. Part of him didn’t want to take it because of what happened with the depressed mouse. He opened his mouth and she got mad and threw him out.

“A shower then?” You told him after you noticed the unsure look on his face.

“Just to warm you up. You don’t want to get sick.”

“Are you always this nice? What are you hiding? Are you making up for something you lack?” Johnny said and was waiting for a nasty reply, but it never came.

You just shrugged your shoulders at him. “ I just want you to feel comfortable in my home. After all, if you hadn't shouted I would've been dead in the middle of the street by now. I would’ve been robbed or raped.”

“If you don’t feel comfortable here. You can leave.” You tell him.

“Or stay here where it’s warm and take a shower while I finish with dinner.” Johnny looks over his shoulder as you walk to the living room.

You were right, the hot water helped him. He was leaning against the tile wall staring at it as the water washed over him. You were so kind that you turned on the water and left him a towel by the sink. He dragged his duffel bag inside the bathroom. He thinks that this will never happen again. Taking a shower two times a day. He felt like a rich man.

His stomach growls when the smell of your cooking hits him. Finishing with the shower, he dries off and gets dressed. Curiosity gets the best of him and he opens the medicine cabinet above the sink. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razors and creams are lined up on the tiny shelves. He takes the bottle of pain killer and takes one. Putting it back, he turns off the light when he walks out. Dropping his bag by the hallway, he looks at the door at the end. It must be your room.

“Johnny.” You call out for him. He walks into the kitchen and the table is set.

“You look 27 now.” You said and he smiles as he sits down. You bring him a knife and a fork over and you see him dressed with baggy pants and a light gray tee. His damp hair is brushed back and slender shoulders are at ease.

Johnny wants to moan loudly because of how delicious the food is. He looks across from you to see you cutting your chicken. The comfortable silence is back again. He doesn’t really like silence, he gets too much into his head and begins to overthink. He starts to wonder why he doesn’t when he’s with you but he wants to talk to you.

“Do you know the butterfly effect?” Johnny asked and you looked up from your plate.

You nod. “Yeah, crazy stuff.”

“Do you believe in it?” He asks and he’s surprised when you nod.

“Have you heard of the Mandela effect?” Johnny for the first time of his life, shakes his head because he doesn’t know. Johnny knows that he is educated because of all the books he has read. There’s a smile on your face and his stomach tenses up by how pretty you look and he licks his bottom lip when you begin to tell him.

“It’s like a false memory that occurs when many different people incorrectly remember the same thing. Let's say there’s an old movie and an actor says something but other people remember it differently. A word can be spelled this but there are other people who remember the word being spelled completely differently.”

“Are you serious?” You nod at him.

“I have the newspaper here. I’ll show you the article when we are done eating.” You told him excitedly.

“So I was thinking. You probably got into a fight with your girlfriend and she threw you out. Am I right?” You asked him.

Johnny remains quiet for a minute and you refill his cup with more water.

“If I say yes, what would you do?” He asked you curiously.

“Well, I’ll have to get my bag for that. I’m pretty sure if she finds out you are here with me. She’ll fight me. I'll have to be prepared. I have never been in a fight with anyone.”

“Put the Tupperware back in the cabinet, love. No one is looking for me.” Johnny said, making you chuckle as both of you kept eating.

“You have a boyfriend? Husband?” You shake your head.

“So you are lacking something?�� You frown at him.

“Why do you think I’m lacking something?” You ask Johnny.

“You’re beautiful and you have no one. Do you have a third nipple or something? Something that scares all the dude.” Johnny hears you laugh and he gets quiet.

“A third nipple?” You repeat him.

“To answer your question no. I don’t have a third nipple. I’m single because I haven’t found the right person yet.” You answered him truthfully.

“What’s the right person for you?” Johnny takes a sip of his water.

“Someone you feel comfortable with after being irritated with everyone. Someone you can come home too after a shitty day and they make it all better.”

“I bet there is a line of men waiting for you.” Johnny noticed the look on your face.

“There is but they are just dogs. They want to get their dick wet and I tell them to hire a hooker.” You tell him.

“Would you hire a hooker?” Johnny asked you and you wonder why he’s asking all these questions. He’s so different from the men you met. He’s asking you all of these random questions. It felt like he was trying to make you feel uncomfortable.

“If I was a millionaire, sure why not.” You answered him, and he looked satisfied.

“Why?” You shrugged your shoulders at his question. “Hookers gotta pay bills too, right.”

Johnny nods, he continues eating. You shake your head slowly as you look at him. Johnny was different and you would’ve never talked to a man like you were talking to Johnny. You didn’t care though, you probably wouldn’t see him tomorrow.

Johnny is reading the newspaper on the couch as you showered. He read the article and he was enthralled by it. He looked at the books you had, his fingers glided across the binds of it. He hears you come out of the bathroom and he tiptoes to the hallway. He sees you wearing a towel around your wet and naked bare body. You’re walking to the bedroom and he goes back to see the books.

He came around a small desk and saw a picture. It was the same boy he saw in the picture on the fridge. The little boy was wearing overalls and had a toothless smile. He was sitting on your lap, and you were looking at the camera with your own smile. Johnny’s chest tightens at the side of the picture.

His mind wanders deep and he imagines what if that was you with his kid. He’s never thought of kids before. Never really wanted them. He doesn’t know why he’s thinking of it but the picture of you holding this kid looks so cordial to him.

“That’s my nephew and godson.” Johnny looks over his shoulder. You’re standing in the living room, barefooted with shorts and a flannel shirt. The towel is over your shoulders and you walk towards him.

“He’s cute.” Johnny said as you walked towards him and pulled out an album from the desk drawer. You give it to him. Johnny takes it and walks to the couch.

He can smell the body wash from your body and he places the album in his lap to cover his semi hard on. You sit next to Johnny on the couch and he opens the album. You pointed out family members here and there as Johnny looked through the pictures. Johnny stops at a picture of you. Without a thought, he brings his hands up and traces the outline of your face.

“It was my last day at home. This was before I came here.” You mumbled and looked over at Johnny. He meets your gaze and for a moment. No words were said, just two people staring at each other. You found him attractive and your senses came to you. You look away to take a look at the clock hanging by the wall. You pushed yourself up from the couch. Johnny stares at you as you walk past him and open the door of the small closet near the bathroom. You walk back to him with blankets and a pillow.

“Here you go.” You said and Johnny places the album on the coffee table.

“I can stay for the night.” He told you in a surprised tone.

“Well of course, that is if you like to stay over tonight.” Johnny nods.

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing you’re out in this cold.” You commented as you fluffed the pillow and handed it out to him.

“The tv remote is over there. Feel free to use the tv or read any books. If you’re still hungry or thirsty, help yourself in the kitchen.”

Johnny graciously grabbed the blanket from the couch you laid out. It’s the softest thing he has ever touched.

“Goodnight.” You tell him and start to walk back to your room.

“Wait!” You turn around at Johnny’s voice.

“It’s a bit early, isn’t it?” He said looking at the clock. You raise a brow at him, 11:00pm is early for him.

“We can watch a film.” Johnny said, pointing his finger at the television.

You got the feeling that he didn’t want to be alone. You knew that feeling all too well sometimes you wanted to be near someone and feel their presence. You thought about what your friends would say if you tell him about tonight obviously they will yell at you for being a complete idiot and inviting a homeless stranger to your home.

“You better not hog the blanket.” You tell him, he smiles as you walk back to the living room and sit on the couch.

Johnny wakes up by the smell of food. He yawns as he pushes himself up from the couch. He feels good, he feels well rested. He remembers watching 10 minutes of the film before shutting his eyes. The last thing he heard was your soft voice saying goodnight.

“Morning.” He looks over at the kitchen to see you frying an egg. Johnny sits up and cracks his shoulders. Pushing himself up, he walks into the kitchen.

“Sit down.” You tell him, setting him a plate on the table. He obeys and starts digging in.

“I’ll have to work soon. You have a place to go?” You asked to sit down to eat your breakfast.

Johnny's slim cheeks are puffed out with all the food he stuffed in his mouth and nods. You don’t believe it because he grabs another toast quickly from the table, shoving it in his mouth. Almost like saying he won't know when will be the last time he gets to eat like this.

Johnny got dressed after breakfast and waited for you to come out of your bedroom. He’s waiting by the door as you grab your lunch from the fridge. You don’t even notice the picture of you holding your nephew missing.

Johnny follows you out of the apartment and out of the building.

“Walk with me to my job?” You asked him and he nodded. Johnny asks what you do and he listens as you tell him.

Johnny has his duffle bag behind him as he crosses the street with you. Stopping by a large building, he looks up at it and whistles at it.

“Have fun wasting away at work.” Johnny's remarks made you roll your eyes.

“Well, a girl gotta eat, Johnny. Have to waste away for a bit.” You tell him and his eyes shine at your response.

“Bye.” You tell him and Johnny doesn’t want to say bye. He wonders if he will ever see you again. He turns around to start walking to nowhere.

“Johnny!” He hears you shouting his name and he looks over.

“Pick me up at 6:00pm. We can have dinner again if you want.” You tell him and Johnny nods. He tells you he’ll be here to pick you up.

He watches as you walk into the building and he turns around with a little pep in his step. He walks to a park and sits on a bench. Opening his duffel bag, he takes out a raggedy book, some of the pages are ripped out of the bind. He keeps it together with a rubber band. He takes it off to read it, he opens the first page and sees the picture of you with your nephew. His eyes stared at your pretty face and a warm feeling filled his chest.

He remembers the first words that came out of your mouth.

Thank you.

#naked 1993 #johnny x reader #naked 1993 johnny #naked 1993 Johnny reader #david thewlis #fanfic #david thewlis fanfic #crush #naked 1993 mile leigh #mike leigh #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin au

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eightglass · 2 months ago

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do you have any book recommendations? nonfiction or fiction. i'd love to hear what you've enjoyed reading!

Books!!! I love them!!!

Uhh

I'm always a big fan of science fiction! (loong so. under the cut)

I mean. There's always Star Wars, if you're into it. Best of those would be the three Thrawn trilogies (yes three trilogies) by Timothy Zahn. The old one (Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, The Last Command) is literally sequels to the original movies, and they were canon (and awesome) before Disney did their shit. They are very good.

Adrian Tchaikovsky is a fantastic author! His Shards of Earth trilogy and Children of Time trilogy are some of the best scifi I've read! Completely different vibes though, but both are really good!

Uhh... If you want existential dread forever, read The Three-Body Problem trilogy. If you've ever heard of the Dark Forest solution to the Fermi paradox, these books are where it came from. (Or popularised/named it? idk.) They're also pretty good.

Everything by Becky Chambers. Wayfarers tetralogy, Monk and Robot duology, To Be Taught If Fortunate, all really good vibes. LGBTR (Little Gay Books To Read)

the Red Rising series by Pierce Brown.

The Locked Tomb trilogy by Tamsyn Muir! Wow! These are really good. Lesbian necromancers in space, and it makes sense. The narrators don't tell you anything either, because in book 1 the narrator doesn't know jack shit, in book 2 the 'narrator' gave herself a lobotomy, and the narrator in book 3 is six months old.

the MaddAddam trilogy by Margaret Atwood. Post-apocalyptic, but the pre-apocalypse was also a capitalism hellscape, so you don't feel too bad.

the Lilith's Brood trilogy by Octavia Butler is some of the BEST aliens scifi I've read holy shit. Seriously, read this.

The Book of Koli trilogy by M. R. Carey! 300 years after an environmental/war apocalypse. Written language has been forgotten, the bioengineered trees have further evolved to walk around and hunt humans (among other things), and the leaders of the remaining groups of humans have whatever top-of-the-line, self-repairing, and self-refilling infantry weapons from the war to use on each other.

A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine (two books out, dunno if there'll be a third). Ever wondered about a poetry-based interstellar empire? And what if it were gay?

The Andy Weir books. The Martian, Artemis, Project Hail Mary, those are good.

If you're more into YA scifi, then the Lunar Chronicles tetralogy and Renegades trilogy by Marissa Meyer are both fantastic, and the Aurora Rising and Illuminae Files trilogies by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff (collabs) are amazing!

Fantasy is also good! But I don't find myself reading very much of it.

First off: Discworld. I read 25 of 41 over the summer, and they are GOOD. https://www.discworldemporium.com/reading-order/

All of the Greishaverse stuff by Leigh Bardugo is pretty good, but the Six of Crows duology is really amazing.

The Cruel Prince trilogy by Holly Black! If you like fae stuff, but also urban fantasy and romance. Good books!

A Darker Shade of Magic trilogy by V. E. Schwab, those are good! There's also a sequel series coming out atm.

OMG how can I forget the N. K. Jemisin books?? The Broken Earth trilogy is FANTASTIC. What if the Earth hated everyone and there were geology witches that are actually pretty awesome but everyone hates them? The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms trilogy is also really good. What if the gods were actually omnipotent, but sort of hated each other? And the Great Cities duology! What if New York City was a person (six people)?

As for less scifi-fantasy, I've read and really enjoyed:

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver, a retelling of David Copperfield, this time with the main character living/growing up in rural Appalachia during the opioid epidemic. Really, really good.

All of the Alice Oseman books of course.

One Two Three by Laurie Frankel

Webcomics! These were really fun and they're still ongoing! My favs are:

Questionable Content (yes, you can start at 2104). Just a bunch of young adults in Massachusetts doing random shit with varying degrees of gayness, eventually the singularity happens and there are robots (they're gay too)

Dumbing of Age Really, really good college story. Fundie girl goes to college and learns about how the world actually works, varying amounts of gayness, horrible very bad parents, and three dramatic character deaths by the end of the first semester.

Gunnerkrigg Court weird scifi fantasy stuff going on all the time, big mysteries, omnipotent trickster god. The art style improves a LOT.

Web serials (if you want to be consumed by a piece of literature that's easily over a dozen normal books in length)

Worm. 1.6 million words. This consumed me from July to September. Good god. Some of the very best superheroes and superpowers, like, ever, beautiful fight scenes, and conflict escalation that does. not. stop. The poor characters never get a break between crises and catastrophes. But by Scion it is one of the best things I've ever read. Don't look up anything about it, the spoilers are insane. And there's a sequel that's even longer.

Uh.. I've started Katalepsis

#books #webcomics #know what? i'll pin this

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laxibbeb · 3 months ago

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Don’t worry, it’s truly been a week for us all. And not to flood you with asks, I just happened to have this ready at the same time as your snippet:)

I’m a fan of those Greek mythology retellings (although I haven’t finished Song of Achilles because I know how it ends and I’m scared of getting hurt). And I don’t know if you’ve ever read Gods of Jade and Shadow, but it was interesting.

Ninth House is fun, it has that mystery vibe to it while still being dark urban fantasy. Which is a genre that I don’t typically enjoy?

Also I enjoyed Too Good to be True. It was interesting trying to figure out each character’s motives throughout the book.

Have you read Priory of the Orange Tree? I loved it, but I ran into the same problem as you. I had a massive book hangover and haven’t been able to get into the second one yet 😂

I…am hesitant to tell you one of the things I’m pretentious about. I think it might give me away. I can tell you it has to do with one of my hobbies, though! For the other, I can be a bit of a snob about wine. I love a good Sauvignon Blanc. Truly immaculate. (But YES! Let’s be pretentious bitches together. That’s truly the dream. It’s also what Mor x Nesta could have been but anyway) haha maybe I’ll indulge both of us and write that someday 😊

Ooh the weaver? I see the appeal! It’s hard to pick one for ACOTAR because most of the characters are already hot. Andras, maybe? Dying for the sake of the plot? What a guy. Although I guess he’s not special in that regard, if you think about it.

I’m so sorry I just started talking😂

For non ACOTAR? I’m going to be honest I didn’t think about this either, so I’m doing the same as you. Uh, this is definitely a popular one, but that one fish from finding Nemo. Gill, I think his name is.

I can verify I am not one of the two people in the fandom who can understand that reference. Unsure if that narrows anything down for you (so I’m going to narrow it down even further and tell you I’m American)

I feel like these asks keep getting longer and longer. I don’t know what that says about us.

Anyways!

Do you have any favorite fics? They could be for any ship, honestly. I also enjoy Nessian and sometimes Feysand, and am open to other ones too.

Do you play any instruments? (I don’t think I asked this already?)

santa ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 i hope you flood me with asks, i love them

oH MY GOD i do that too, where i leave a book when i know it'll get bad 🫢 i'm scared to proceed with other books form "The Poppy War" for an example, because i have a vague idea of what will happen and i just. i just can't i've not read "Ninth House", i wanted to but not gonna lie, i'm scared i won't like it.. leigh bardugo hasn't ever done it for me before

i wanted to give something new of hers a try, though! so maybe?

"Too good to be true" is actually going on my tbr now, especially since i promised myself i'd read more thrillers (and haven't but shhh)

i HAVE read priory, (i have like, 80 pages left, but i'm GETTING TO IT so let's say i read it for a moment) it was so good! but yeah, the second one is gong to have to wait

(i would absolutely read an 800 page long, day to day account of tané's life, though)

---

OKAY, a wine snob??? that's so classy and sophisticated of you, santa (might i say - hot) i'll wait for your other pretentious thing, that's ok see! you see the mor x nesta potential for what it really is... divine and so, so sexy if you ever decide to write mor x nesta i'll owe you my firstborn, actually

---

OH MY GOD, THE ANDRAS SHADE (i wish the most important man in the acotar series had a single speaking line, not gonna lie)

okay, here's the thing - i've watched nemo one time and, stupid me i thought that was it, so i deleted all the memories i had of this movie. little did i know people would be referencing it for the rest of time i googled gill the fish from finding nemo and you know what? i GET IT. it's his slutty fin swoop

---

you know what, if you said that you recognized what i was talking about, only then would i have IMMEDIATELY known who you are

i now have 3 pieces of information that could possibly help me in figuring out your identity, and let me tell you, it doesn't narrow it down that much 🤣 so you're in the clear

---

I BRING FORTH MY FAVOURITE FANFICTION:

i cannot have a favourite fics list without mentioning @separatist-apologist, as she's the reason why i'm even in this fandom to begin with, so even though we all know this already -> take your pick and it's my favourite ever

what lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why by @foundress0fnothing THIS ONE IS SO MUCH FUN, and it has bi lucien; what more could you want

Springtide by @clarafae i've been really enjoying this one and i'm not done with it yet but it belongs here, ok i did not think i could like high lady of spring!elain but turns out i just needed a good fic

also, i've started A Blaze in the Dark by the famous @the-lonelybarricade and i can already tell you it belongs here as well

lately i've been reading a lot of azris, actually!

Just Enough Light to Cast Shadows by @jules-writes-stories (if you're reading this because ot the tag, jules please know i haven't forgotten about you, I'LL COME BACK) anyway, i love this one and i've been having so much fun reading it

i'm due a reread of Kerosene by @chunkypossum which is my absolute favourite and changed my life, actually

AND there are so many more but i need to finish replying to you before i turn 80 years old, unfortunately

---

i do not play an instrument :(( i used to really want to play the violin when i was a kid but when i asked my mom if i could attend music school she got war flashbacks and said she wouldn't put me through that (she also said i have no predispositions for doing music, which wow, thanks mom (she was right) 😋) so no instruments for baby laxi but i like to sing in my car when i'm driving 🤣

---

we're writing love letters to one another from across the sea and as the time passes they get progressively longer we just need to embrace it

it got to the point when i'm putting dividers whenever i change the topic to make it easier to read 🤣

as always, santa tell me your answers too, please!! and have a

#mom said “DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE i'm begging you”#no hard feelings about that though - if i really wanted it that badly she would've let me #instead i happily picked ceramics 😎#dearsanta #for a moment i thought tumblr deleted our letter >:( but we were ok all along

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agentperezbian · 10 months ago

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Anyway, what are some examples of Adam's kindness in the film? /gen

Unfortunately, because pretty much every scene of Adam outside of the bathroom (besides his kidnapping) didn't make it to the final cut of the film, I'm mainly going off of the original Saw script as well as deleted scenes from Saw 3 for my assessment of his character. Which means you can dismiss everything I say if you want, because only what makes it into the movie would be considered canon.

That being said, I like to consider the outline of Adam's character we see in the script as well as the scenes written and filmed for later movies to be indicative of Leigh's vision for the character, and not something to be tossed out just because they ended up on the cutting room floor.

The scene where Adam, who states how far he is willing to go to get money for food, gives his last bit of milk to a stray cat is a big one for me. He states that he likes how "non-judgmental" the cat is. Which I think alludes to Adam being harshly judged by those around him and maybe even avoided by others due to the way he's perceived. We learn that Adam used to want to be a vet in the script, and these two factors together seem to indicate a large love for animals and a desire to help and care for them. Adam in the script definitely shows nurturing traits.

We have the cut scene from Saw 3, a flashback of Adam and Amanda running into each other in their apartment building. Adam compliments Amanda's hair and tries to get her to open up a little. He's awkward but polite, and seems to feel bad about potentially making Amanda uncomfortable. He seems to flounder a bit but doesn't get upset even when Amanda barely says a word. He's handing out flyers for Scott's band, spending his free time giving them free promotion despite the fact that from what we learn, Scott doesn't seem to value Adam's friendship much. This, to me, is more evidence of Adam going out of his way to help others, with seemingly no reward for doing so.

Adam, to me, displays a very self-sacrificial personality. He seems to not really value himself very much. John calls him apathetic and it's very much true, but he isn't apathetic to others. He's apathetic to himself. Even when he tells Lawrence "facts" about him they all relate to things other people have done to him. I think he very much sees himself as a passive observer in his own life, which is why it's so easy for him to hide behind a camera. When he kills Zep, it's to stop him from killing Lawrence. Despite the fact that Lawrence had just shot him. Really, it would be more beneficial to let Lawrence die and continue to play dead - it would be safer, and allow Adam to attempt to escape. But he saves Lawrence anyway. In the original script John calls Adam a pawn, and i think even without him outright stating it this theme is still very much present in the film. The pawn is never meant to achieve greatness. The pawn will never be able to satisfy its own wants. The pawn can only elevate others.

#sorry for taking so long to reply to this #saw #adam stanheight #anon #ask

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finalgoblin · 7 days ago

Text

excuse me while i vomit up my thoughts about wolf man! i will be talking about spoilers!

by my icon, i feel like it should be pretty obvious that i love me some leigh whannell, and as far as directing goes, he really hits it out of the park! the writing on this movie, however, is ROUGH!

once it was over, my spouse and i did what we always do when we don’t like the plot of a movie - verbal rewrite it. i’m obsessed with what we came up with, and would love to see/read something with this plot.

i think the wife character should’ve been chopped. she’s not necessary, reads as extremely unlikable, and muddles the themes. cutting the wife might’ve also assisted with the HORRIBLE dialogue, because I don’t think it needed all of it. the sound design is so awesome that keeping it mostly quiet would’ve just added to the tension. also, all the great scenes of jumbled dialogue with the wife could’ve been replaced by the daughter.

the idea of having this dad who is trying to not scar his child, in the same way he was a boy, and get her safely out of this situation while he is losing himself to the transformation would’ve been SO COOL! the moments where he’s basically her guard dog are wonderful. (i can’t stop thinking about the scene where he’s mirroring the wolf man outside like a family dog on high alert.)

it would also call back to his conversation with his father in the woods where he tells him to listen to him so he doesn’t get hurt. this dad would not be able to communicate what he needs his daughter to do, but their connection is what leads her (the mind reading bit they do together.)

also can you imagine how BRUTAL it would’ve been to have a young child kill her father because she knows he doesn’t want to continue living like that. my jaw would’ve been on the floor the same way it was during the spider scene, arm scratching scene, jumbled speech reveal, and leg chewing off scene.

that’s the thing - so many scenes were SOOOO GOOD that it’s annoying that this extra character ruined so much of it. every time i felt myself getting emotional or really into it, the wife was there being stiff and recapping the movie as if we didn’t just watch. we had to keep ourselves from laughing so we didn’t disturb the only other person in the theater during the grandpa reveal scene. why did we need her to say all of that. we didn’t. it’s not that i think she was making dumb decisions or anything - she simply just didn’t need to be there.

it’s weird because i feel like i both loved and hated it. i liked so much and there was just this glaring annoyance with the wife and bad dialogue.

i mean the pov scenes are INCREDIBLE. the sound design, effects, father/daughter relationship, sets, and acting from the lead actor had me floored. i want to watch it again because im OBSESSED which is such a bizarre feeling since i hated one of the biggest parts of it.

#wolf man (2025)#film review #spoilers #dir. leigh whannell #goblingarble

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almostfoxglove · 2 months ago

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Hi Freya! I was wondering if you have any book recs or authors that have influenced your writing?

hi friend!! omg :,) I'm so sorry in advance for the yapping that's about to go down because I could talk about this for... days. weeks. years. millenniums. thank you so much for this ?? omg <3

some writers & books I love

📚 - literary fiction 🌟 - speculative 👻 - spook/horror 💕 - romance 😭 - heart go ouch ✏️ - memoir ☠️ - might contain dark / triggering content

I-will-die-with-these-in-my-hands

our wives under the sea by julia armfield 📚🌟👻😭

betty by tiffany mcdaniel 📚😭☠️

why did I ever by mary robison 📚😭

truth & beauty by ann patchett ✏️😭 (but really anything by her)

warm bodies by isaac marion (I will not be taking questions at this time, yes the movie was bad but the man cooked okay) 👻💕

writers I'd take a bullet for even an ounce of their talent (in no particular order)

lauren groff

joan didion

mona awad

carmen maria machado

julia armfield

sophie mackintosh

daisy johnson

ocean vuong

james baldwin

shirley jackson

roxane gay

karen russell

bel hooks

special mentions/recs

greenwood by michael christie 📚

the days of abandonment by elena ferrante 📚😭

next year for sure by zoey leigh peterson 📚💕

the book of form and emptiness by ruth ozeki 📚🌟😭

seven days in june by tia williams💕😭

the only good indians by stephan graham jones 📚👻

never let me go by kazuo ishiguro 📚🌟😭

motherthing by ainslie hogarth 👻

manhunt by gretchen felker-martin 👻☠️

whoever you are, honey by olivia gatwood 📚🌟

how it works out by myriam lacroix 📚🌟

it lasts forever and then it's over by anne de marcken 📚🌟

through the woods by emily carroll 👻

in the dream house by carmen maria machado ✏️😭☠️

there are no doubt are 100 that I am missing in this moment but these are what immediately comes to mind!! as a yapper and ex-bookshop employee I could do this all day long :,) if you ever read anything on here (or have already) I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS, even if you hate(d) them - I just like chatting about boooooooks <3 ILY PAL

#asks #freya speaks #book recommendations #love-on-my-side #I LOVE TO YAP ABT BOOKS!#book bookshelf

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willtasker · 4 months ago

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NYCC 2024: A (Redacted) Review

I had planned out NYCC months ago, back when they announced Hayley Atwell in the spring. Everything else in 2024 had the volume turned down after that announcement. And with time, they also announced some of the cast of Starship Troopers and then Rachael Leigh Cook.

I'm happy to say that everyone was wonderful, glowing even. Some maybe a little more than others but over all, this was by far the best year I had at a convention in terms of people just being... nice.

So foremost is that I overbooked myself. Five cast members from Starship Troopers was at the same table and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let that slip by. I had to go Thursday, as Dina Meyer ((see above)) was only there for one day only. She was an absolute sweetheart, despite trying to duck out to make her plane on time. I almost walked away before they called me back because I forgot to take this photo with her. "Give me some sass" is what I heard in my ear over the deafening crowd and ... well, its not my worst photo but certainly not my favorite either. But she has these huge, chonky glasses I wish she'd kept on for the photos.

Michael Ironside was incredible. I've been a fan of his for decades and despite having a voice like a gravel quarry and that constant sneer painted over his face, he was very funny and very warm. He noticeably perked up when I mentioned his performance in "Crime & Punishment In Suburbia" and how Roger Ebert said it was the best work of his career. He nodded in approval, "I'm glad someone saw that. The director is a a good friend of mine."

Casper Van Dien was ... actually exactly what I suspected. He was standing in front of his table, talking to everyone, pitching the new SST Extermination game. He's high energy, happy to see you, quick with a joke.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a lot of time with either Seth Gilliam or Denise Richards. Seth was on his way out but seemed to be overly kind with everyone there? Does that make sense? Denise was rushing to get out because she had some sort of socialite appointment elsewhere in NYC but she was trying so hard to be accommodating and patient with people. I think she was aware of what her legacy is with men of a certain age. I purposely didn't take too long at her table - it was 7 pm and everyone was tired - and I think she appreciated the fact I didn't make a bad pass at her or stop the line for 5 minutes to show her art I had done in the hopes she'd follow my Instagram (witnessed both of these things happen in real time).

Now on to the main event:

I didn't know what to expect from Hayley. I'd never met anyone who had interacted with her, so I was a little pensive at first. I had brought two photos for her to sign - the one above I had blown up to an egregious size - but it was the other one that rang her bell.

The person running the cashbox passed my photos down and said "Hayley we have some very nice photos from this gentle..."

"This is from Howard's End!" Her eyes popped, a mix of genuine surprise and appreciation behind them.

We talked a little bit about her Margaret Schlegel versus the 1992 movie. She asked me a couple of small questions before we really hit it off on something I wouldn't expect: I told her how I found a lot of American television too "active" and how much comfort I found in rewatching not only Howard's End but just UK television in general. She sized me up quietly before agreeing, telling me she watches the same handful of shows over and over to unwind, as a comfort.

She signed the Howard's End photo first (not pictured here, I've determined it is a little too personal), then the above photo before going back to the first photo with "May I add a quote to this?"

I was left with words in my mouth for a second. I managed to say "Please!" once my brain rebooted and she said "I loved this character so much. And this quote." After we said our goodbyes - she's so effusive, high energy - I quietly found a corner of the convention hall to see she'd written "Only Connect" under her name and I sighed like an old dog sleeping on a cold kitchen floor.

I later had a photo op with her. I look pretty stiff and not my best but I've taken worse photos. She was extremely gentle with everyone in line, I think getting a sense that most everyone was having the same "Holy shit, thats Hayley Atwell" realization.

Finally, and certainly not the least of all...

Rachael Leigh Cook came out an hour late, wearing a cream colored sweater and necklace. Laugh as you must, gentle reader, but I'm absolutely going to my therapist this week to ask why a stranger like herself is so completely nice to everyone (but especially: why is she nice to me). She's the type who touches people on the hand or arm as they talk - she hugged the couple in front of me when they mentioned their engagement - and she has this natural ... I honestly don't know what to call it - grace? vibe? spirit? ... that makes the cold hearth of my soul blaze like a Christmas fireplace. I don't mean to suggest theres any sort of connection, simply that she gives off a vibe of generosity and familiarity that I've only ever felt with old girlfriends.

I thanked her for her performance in Stateside, which made her eyebrows go up like a Tex Avery cartoon, and complimented her on getting her character's diagnosis so wonderfully right. She listened to me, stopped writing, listened some more, would write some more. I'd hate to think I somehow overwhelmed her - I am often told I don't "play my cards" despite my being afraid I'm overplaying them - but she was sincere and gentle, her voice this almost ASMR tone. We took a selfie (THAT photo looks awful, I need to learn to not only pose in photos but not to cock my head away from the other person) and later a photo op (Which looks better! But like the one with Hayley, I look rigid compared to her practiced grace) where she invited me into her hooked arm with a "Hey you, wow, sharp dresser!" and straightened the front of my shirt with a pinch.

And finally! Mystery solved?

This is an update for @justrachaelleighcook - this photo was taken at Cannes! She'd not seen Anna in some time and the press (or whoever was behind the camera) asked for a photo together! "I've never seen this photo but I remember taking it because Bookies was running out of competition". So that dates this photo as 2002? (She'd also not heard Anna had been unwell of late and regarded what little I said with a bit of a furrowed brow.)

Needless to say I wish I had more time to talk to her but I'm forever aware theres a line of people behind me hoping for some time as well.

It was an exhausting two days at NYCC. I probably spent 15 hours there and of that, more than 13 hours was standing in lines. Overall, it was one of the - if not THE - smoothest and more effortless visits to a convention I've ever had. If any of them come back around, I'd love to meet them again. <3

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