#i love king saul angst

[sir-davey]

TW: Blood, Sword impalement, and G-d i guess

Saul’s peace (turmoil)

I have no idea why I made this after having a panic attack (it’s okay I’m fine- sort of… meh. I haven’t had one in years, and how ironic I wrote about Jonathan’s panic attack a week ago 😐) But I guess it’s the song I listened to right after. I really love this song. Especially the last chorus, toward the end, it always gives me Saul vibes, how he is dictated by those above him, left with little to no control even as a king. I don’t sympathize with Saul entirely, but from Saul’s pov, he’d see how Samuel and G-d gaslights him even when he tries to listen to every command, but they take advantage of the paranoia that he has always struggled with.

I’ve made that one of the main themes in the Book of Saul when I write how he explores the idea of control, because Saul throughout his life has hardly had a thought of his own. It seemed as though he gave his life at the fate of Samuel and the Lord.

Also, I attempted to draw G-d, as you can tell lmao. Ngl, I didn’t know how I wanted to depict Him, so I went with the generic biblically accurate angel route. Depicting G-d is going to be subjective, and so, I’ll just say this is how I imagine Him. He’s a big feathery thing to me, with lots of eyeballs, and arms.

I lowkey love it lol. Should I draw G-d more? Have Him bother Samuel and stuff while messing with Saul and forcing bro to dance lmao (I love those passages of Saul very entertaining, as in I like tormenting him because I love Saul angst)

But yeah, imma also start redrawing my David/Jonathan ref sheets so I can begin making something special for my anniversary in two months… oh boi 🥲

I think the cake this year is going to be very unserious lmao, deadass going to stick printed pics of David on the thing like a hear me out challenge.

Anyways… I still have yet to recover, my mental health is shit. Going to be less active, but I thought I was doing good lol.

Starting off 2025 strong 🎉🎉

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! I was hoping to recommend to your mods a couple of short fics I wrote. I imagined our favorite man-shaped beings present in Biblical stories. I actually include lines from the verses throughout both of these fics.

In the Binding of Isaac (rated G) Crowley convinces Aziraphale to try wine for the first time, and the two ensure Abraham sacrifices a ram and not his son.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51070684

And in David & Jonathan (and Crawly & Aziraphale) (rated T) we see the parallels between the biblical lovers of King David (before he was king) and Jonathan (King Saul’s son) and our ineffable idiots. There is a lot of angst and some absolute ridiculousness, all of which is (almost) straight out of the prophetic book.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51410869/chapters/129916648

I would love it if you’d take a look, and would welcome any suggestions on tags.

Many thanks for this and for everything. I’m so grateful for this blog.

Hello and thanks for sharing!...

The Binding of Isaac: Aziraphale and Crowley in Genesis 22 by Tsyvia48 (G)

Genesis 22 shares the story of God testing Abraham to see whether he will sacrifice his son. Turns out a certain angel and demon were there.

David & Jonathan (and Crawly & Aziraphale) by Tsyvia48 (T) (WIP)

The Biblical book of I Samuel tells the story of the rise of King Saul and then King David in his wake. It is the story of love and betrayal, arrogance and jealousy. Tucked among the details of the rise and fall of kingdoms, there are hints of a romance between David, a shepherd boy who becomes a king, and Jonathan, a king's son who loves him. In this Good Omens midrash (retelling), I take the Biblical text and fill in some of the details that we don't receive, including the presence and influence of two man-shaped beings who may have some resonance with our biblical heroes.

- Mod D

[varganardi]

Welcome to my account 💜

Hiii!

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My (nick)name is Espresso!

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[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Silva Lining (Saul Silva x Reader) Chapter 14

Warnings: Swearing, angst

Word count: 1.2k

----------------------------------------------------------------------

-Sauls POV-

Hearing his girl scream would always send shivers down his spine and this time, not in a good way. Saul burst into the clearing where Y/N was crouched down on the floor. Rips and slashes were visible on her clothes, blood stains too.

He ran towards her, fearing the worst but what he saw next was something he would never expect. The burning, black, searing marks made by the creatures claws… were healing.

Slowly each wound closed up, black fog seeping from the wounds and disappeared in the air. From the gasps heard close by the girls and Farah had just managed to catch up in time to see it all unfold.

As Saul looked at his girl, he noticed the black was slowly disappearing from her eyes too. Without a word she stood, walking further into the woods. Hand raised she pointed a finger, leading the team to the unconscious but alive body of Specialist Laura.

As if her body sensed it had been through the wringer, Saul watched as her demeanour quickly changed. Her body slacked, eyes rolled and she crumpled to the ground, the run in with danger too much for the young fairy to handle.

-A couple of days later-

-Y/N POV-

Farah had brought in a mind fairy. Someone from outside of the school.

It had been a few days since the run in with dear old deadly dad and everyone in Alfea had learnt the truth about your parents. The scared looks in your direction didn’t go unnoticed and people who would once have been friendly to you seemed to run whenever you were close by.

This mind fairy your mother was bringing in was supposed to help with the whole “taken over by a blood witch” voodoo shit. Apparently your mind was too open and susceptible to more persuasion if you didn’t get a handle on your powers and fast. Apparently there were still parts of your magic you hadn’t tapped into, which surprised you because surely there couldn’t be more power than you already had? You had enough with what you had at the moment and truthfully didn’t know if you could handle more.

The lessons hadn’t been going too bad. At first you had been against the idea that you needed more help but clearly the events that had unfolded stated otherwise. Your mother still tutored you daily as well. Before you know it you’d be a walking spell book.

You were starting to lose the feeling of being that normal teenager again. It was there for a moment. A fleeting moment. Just when you thought the threat of the burned ones were gone, Beatrix was locked up and you were finally getting to have a semi normal relationship with Saul, the universe came crashing down around you again.

Even Mr Harvey had a special interest in you now. After all.. no one had ever heard of a fairy slash blood witch. After seeing that you weren’t affected by the venom of a burned one, it lead him to wonder if you were immune to anything else and if you were maybe the answer to a future antidote.

You were fed up. One thing weighed heavily on your mind. Saul. He didn’t sign up for any of this. He knew you were slightly damaged from the day he found you, but no doubt he didn’t expect it to this extent. Was it selfish to be with him? To be leading him down the same unpredictable journey you were on? He shouldn’t have to be going through any of it.

You sighed as you climbed the stairs to your shared suite. Part of you hoped Saul was out so you didn’t have to talk about how fucked up you were. It was draining, going over and over things, there was so much drama surrounding you. You felt embarrassed sometimes.

You weren’t having the best luck. When you pushed open the doors there he was laying back on the sofa, watching some training video on the plasma screen. His head popped up when he heard you come in and he gave you a lazy smile.

“There she is. I was wondering where you’d got to.” He held his arms open. You dumped your bag near the front door and kicked your shoes off, padding over to him. You slumped down, curling yourself into his chest, laying half on top of him. He didn’t miss the large sigh you let out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head and his your face further in his chest. The smell of his aftershave, the outdoors and his natural manly scent always calmed you. Made you feel safe.

You felt his chest move and knew he was about to talk again. This time you beat him too it.

“Saul, do you ever regret saving me that day in the wood.” He stilled and you looked up at him. His eyes bore into yours, he seemed…. angry? His jaw was clenched. Yup definitely angry. You mumbled. “Forget that I said anything.”

About to dive your head back into the comfort of his chest you were stopped. He sat up abruptly and stood up, plopping you down on the sofa.

“Why would you say that.” He was pacing. Jeez looks like you’d hit a nerve. “Really Y/N? Still after all this time, after all we’ve been through you still don’t realise how much I fucking love you. How much I fucking worship the ground you walk on. I would bloody die for you and you’re asking me if I regret saving you that day in the woods?”

“I-i’m sorry! Sometimes I just have thoughts, sometimes I just think maybe you would have been better off never finding me. You could have a normal drama free life, with someone your own age, someone you don’t have to hide about with. I’ve ruined that chance for you, at a normal life, a normal relationship.” Your knees came up to your chest.

He was pissed. His hands ran through his hair. Then he looked straight at you.

“Do you know what. As much as this might be difficult for you, yes it’s difficult for me too. You don’t choose who you fall in love with. But I’m glad I fell in love with you. I just wish you would see that. Stop being so selfish. Yes you’re having a shit time, but it’s not all shit. For god sake Y/N, you found your mother, you found your father, granted he’s the king of the blood witches. Stella’s your cousin and you finally have a home and friends… and what about me? Am I not good enough for you. You’ve been looking at everything as a negative and never even stopped to consider that actually, maybe this is positive.”

Your eyes were full of tears and your mouth was open slightly. What a slap in the face. The thing that stung the most though was he was completely right. Your heart skipped when you watched him walk over to the door and grab his jacket.

“Saul where are you going?” You were off the sofa now, walking towards him. He turned and kissed your forehead.

“I need some space to think. I’m going for a drink. Don’t wait up okay, i’ll be back soon.”

Then he left, closing the door behind him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Soooo. Sorry for not updating sooner. I've had a lot of stuff going on and just haven't had the time to write, I apologise for the short chapter. Sorry for the angst tooooo but I felt like the reader needed a little bit of a reality check? Let me know what you think.

CHAPTER 15 ----- CLICK HERE

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[timhatchlive]

God’s View of You

Sometimes I think we imagine that God is mostly disappointed with us. That He puts up with us and bears with us because He has to (after all He is love), but most of the time our glaring weaknesses weary Him and make His day miserable. Of course, this is the devil’s doing in our minds. The truth of scripture bears out that the world has to get staunch-raving evil before God is totally weary of us. And the stories in the Old Testament remind us with each passing character that God is patient, loving and kind to His very flawed inconsistent servants. Saul is a case study of this. His lineage will not hold the kingdom, that has already been stated from the mishap of offering the sacrifice instead of waiting for Samuel to arrive in 1 Samuel 13. His next great gaff will happen in the chapter to come in 1 Samuel 15 where his own kingship will be taken from him and the anointing placed on one soon to come. Yes, God will regret making Saul king and we’ll talk about that next. But for now, let’s stay in the stream of Biblical thought in the narrative. With all these mistakes, you would think Saul has God ready to wipe him off the planet. But sandwiched by these terrible mistakes of Saul which cost him so much in terms of legacy on Earth, the record in scripture also affirms the many triumphs of his reign. Take the end of 1 Samuel 14 for instance: 1 Samuel 14:47–48 (ESV) When Saul had taken the kingship over Israel, he fought against all his enemies on every side, against Moab, against the Ammonites, against Edom, against the kings of Zobah, and against the Philistines. Wherever he turned he routed them. 48 And he did valiantly and struck the Amalekites and delivered Israel out of the hands of those who plundered them.  That’s some high praise for Saul. Even I, after having slowly gone through his life would have a hard time seeing this passage coming. But it’s there, in black and white in Holy Scripture to help us understand something about the Lord. Our record is not perfect, but the things we do to serve Him will be remembered and recorded forever. Need proof? Consider how Jesus illustrates the home-coming welcome of His servants in the parable of the talents: Matthew 25:21 (ESV) His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. Consider what the writer of Hebrews says about those who still need to mature! Hebrews 6:10 (ESV) For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do.” Jesus will return with His reward to repay each one according to their deeds. No, God is not in heaven just putting up with weak, inconsistent and faulty saints because He has to or because He has no other options. He could have angels wipe out the Earth and start over tomorrow. No, God is in heaven seeing and recording what you do right. And the blood of Jesus wipes out what you’ve done wrong. That’s a powerful lesson for us. Today is the first day of a New Year. Someone needs to approach this year as if God is pleased with them and not ticked off at them. It could be the difference in your daily choices. Living from the approval of God is far more powerful than living from His supposed angst. You have approval in Christ. Now get going! via Blogger http://bit.ly/2F2iiO2

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Tagged by @spockswhales <3 

85 Things About Me: 

1. last drink: Diet coke

2. last phone call: My oldest friend

3. last text message: “If you just realized a repressed memory, clap your hands!” 

4. last song you listened to: Wicked Game cover by London Grammar. 

5. time you cried: Yesterday. 

6. dated someone twice? No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Big Yes

8. been cheated on? Umm.... not officially, but kinda. 

9. lost someone special? Yes

10. been depressed? Yep

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? No

favorite colors

12. Blue

13. Red

14. Purple

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Yeah

16. fallen out of love? No

17. laughed until you cried? yeah

18. found out someone was talking about you? Yes

19. met someone who changed you? yes

20. found out who your friends are? Yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? No 

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? All but 2 who live internationally. 

23. do you have any pets? yes

24. do you want to change your name? no

25. what did you do for your last birthday? Went to the fair with my mom day of, then shipped out for London day after. 

26. what time did you wake up today? 8:07am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? talking to @radioexcelsis and watching Gilmore Girls. 

28. what is something you cant wait for? Fall trip to Europe. 

30. what are you listening to right now? Alternative covers (music artists singing songs that aren’t theirs)

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yes

32. something thats getting on your nerves? *internal screaming over my asexuality* 

33. most visited website: tumblr

34. hair color: dark brown

35. long or short hair:  on me? long. on others? Whatever. 

36. do you have a crush on someone: no (I have a fan crush on gal gadot, though?)

37. what do you like about yourself: I sing. 

38. want any piercings? No more than I already have. 

39. blood type: No idea

40. nicknames: Angst Monarch (thanks @radioexcelsis)

41. relationship status: single

42. zodiac: Virgo/Libra cusp.

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv shows: Star Trek TOS, Gilmore Girls, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Friends, The Path, Galavant, etc etc etc. 

45. tattoos: Want several. Will actually get zero. 

46. right or left handed: Right handed

47. ever had surgery: no. 

48. piercings: ears

49. sport: used to play soccer, currently kickbox. 

50. vacation: I go to a shakespeare theater festival every year with my mom, and I’ll be going to Florida, New York, London, Scotland, and possibly California this year. 

51. trainers: shoes? Yes. I use them to do the running of the 5ks and such. 

more general

52. eating: I have to start eating healthier, but hey I’m still losing weight and gaining muscle so yay? Find protein and eat it, kids. 

54. im about to watch: Tonight I have grand plans to watch the new episodes of The Path. 

55. waiting for: work to be over so I can go home and continue purging my possessions and also do my taxes. 

56. want: to be happy and healthy and financially stable. 

57. get married: want to, but no prospects, and no idea what attraction even is so uh. hey. 

58. career: used to want to be an actress. Still do. Still might. But for now I’m perfectly happy at my job... coming up on four years here, and starting to travel, so I’m happy. Plus I joined a choir so I’m singing again... 

which is better?

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: eyes

61. shorter or taller: I’m tall. 5′ 8″.

62. older or younger: older are more stable and have great life lessons, younger are so vibrant and fun to talk to and I like imparting wisdom and being mom. OH WAIT YOU MEANT ROMANTICALLY. Um... older. 

63. nice arms or stomach: mmmmmm I don’t know? *blinks*

64. hookup or relationship: relationship

65. hesitant or troublemaker: both

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: yes

67. drank hard liquor: yes

68. lost glasses: I don’t wear them, but sunglasses, yes, I’ve drowned many a pair fishing or swimming. 

69. turned someone down: yes

70. sex on first date: no

71. broken someones heart: yes

72. had your heart broken: yes

73. been arrested: no

74. cried when someone died: yes

75. fallen for a friend: yes?

do you believe in

76. yourself: what

77. miracles: um

78. love at first sight: no

79. santa claus: HE’S REAL! (no). 

80. kiss on a first date: nope.

81. angels: ehhhhhh

  other

82 best friend’s name: secret

83.eye colour: brown

84. fave movie: so many options... LoTR, Beauty and the Beast, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Pride and Prejudice (2005), The Karate Kid (original), The King’s Speech, Wayne’s World, etc etc. 

85. fave actor: will not say for fear.