#i love kaisoo's relationship so much damn

[dika-kadi]

My favorite part in the behind the scenes video was at one point pcy gave ji the camera and he pointed it right to ksoo, even when baek was talking he went back to filming ksoo.

It's amazing how kaisooists notice little things sjejsjsj

I believe this is the part anon refers to.

I think Jongin was waiting for / he wanted Kyungsoo to talk here as he moved the camera back to him. And later, he did prompt him by taking time to ask him a question and of course, encouraged and gave him a compliment afterwards 👁️👄👁️

It's actually one of the aspects of Kaisoo's relationship I love. They take each other into consideration a lot. Kyungsoo would take care of Jongin in very little things like with his mask or scarf. Jongin almost never fails to check Kyungsoo's reactions constantly and kinda like take time to ask him questions and talk to him (idk how to describe it lmaoo)

It's just wholesome that they are really supportive and comfortable with each other

[kaisooficrec]

jfdjsf we’re so sorry to everyone who wanted this list last year before starting school 😭😭(and yall almost finished omg) but on the bright side, you’ll have so many nice fics to read now in summer 😎

Best/Childhood Friends to Lovers:

Internet is for Porn - Jongin is convinced that the only booty that can compete with his bestfriend’s legendary arse is the camboy D.O’s. One of my favourite works by indogomini and KaiSoo fics in general. Pure HILARIOUS lightly angsty smut. The real definition of a fun read.

A Different Morning - thisismylastlie’s latest EXO fic. Jongin’s been (whipped) Kyungsoo’s vlogger bestfriend since forever, but one video changes their life once and for all. I really love slice of life? Especially with a big pinch of pining and humor. 

Through The Midnight Streets - Jongin grows up with the Dos after a tragic event and gets to befriend the coldest of them all, Kyungsoo. Located in Paris, unrequited!SuKai, ballerino!Jongin, chaebol (straight, lol)!Kyungsoo, fear of homophobia, sloW BURN and so much pure art.    Threeshots on LJ are the real lucky charm.  

Bite Me - Hybrid!AU. In a world where hyprids are privileged, human!Kyungsoo suffers from being in love with his dog hybrid bestfriend. It gets even worse when he discovers that Jongin had a mate all this time.

Sticky Fingers - Smut, Humor. Kaleidohscope’s pornstar!Jongin asking his bestfriend to help him wax. Their dynamics here : 10/10 dammit. 

when it rains - Oneshot, fluff, Mute!Kyungsoo. Jongin refuses to unfriend his precious hyung, and refuses the title of bestfriend. 

Spider Webs - Oneshot, nonau. Kind of dark? EXO Kai and Jongin are two opposites, with the latter being a unsufferable brat who only accepts the company of Kyungsoo, his poor prey. Or so they thought.

Of late night kisses - Nonau, based on KaiSoo’s date on Valentine’s (hehe). Kyungsoo and Jongin rebelliously take a break on Valentine’s Day from rehearsal to go to the movies as friends, but come back as a little more.

Down the Chimney, Into my Heart - Oneshot, Fluff, Christmas!AU. For Kyungsoo, Christmas holds painful memories. Smitten Jongin decides to do something (stupidly cute) about it.

Mine Eyes are Made the Fools - PWP but with somewhat angsty emotional charge. Or roommates hella straightforward Jongin and scared-of-heartbreak Kyungsoo going at it.

Heart on Your Sleeve - Jongin decides to confess to his two years crush/friend on Valentine’s Day while they’re on a trip to Hong Kong. Annoying ChanBaek, newly tattooed!Kyungsoo and nerves make his mission way harder than it should be. Kyungsoo’s vibe here *wolf whistles* .

(First time?) Meeting - (kind of)PWP. Kyungsoo and Jongin are bestfriends who secretely text two hot boys. Everything changes when they decide to meet them.

Hold Down my Shaking Body - Tickling!kink. A really hot (focus on hot) oneshot/PWP. I love fics that include that spark when one of them realizes they like the other and damn, freaky times.

I Love You, Just Like This - Besties as kids, Soo falls for Jongin as they get older but Jongin’s hella popular & Soo’s insecure about his own looks.

Kyungsoo ... Give me your hand! by Saritababo - a nice 36k angsty friends to lovers where jongin has a crush on Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo is teasing him. 

City Lights by Life_not_knife - a confession fic where best friends kaisoo get together and jongin cant believe it, it also has smut.

愛戀 : deeply attached - 10k of childhood friends to lovers kaisoo, quite lovely fic. basically they are head over heels for each other.

feels good to be yours - Baker!Kyungsoo and dance instructor!Jongin are best friends, but who kiss a lot. None of their dates work and they take a while to figure out why. 

(Best)Friends, but one dates and the other tolerates/realizes their feelings :

If My Yesterday is a Disgrace - Fourshot, Angst, kind of Surrealism, Slice of Life. a gem by wandering-heart from our kfr project *u* they’re best friends, but jongin is hurt because he can never be more than friend and kyungsoo was supposed to marry his girlfriend. NOW allow me to not give any details about the plot because everything is so well thought and emotional and I’d rather leave you the opportunity to discover (and love) this masterpiece by yourself. A new personal favourite.

You are my heart - Chaptered, Angst, OT9 and broken!KaiBaek. At the age of fifteen, Kyungsoo and Jongin promised to marry each other if they’re alone by their thitieth birthday. At the age of twenty nine and thirty, Jongin goes through so much pain and heartbreak while Kyungsoo still pines silently. This teeters on tragic but have faith in the KaiSoo.

Always Have, Always Will - Twoshot. When Jongin looses to Junmyeon the opportunity to take sous-chef!Kyungsoo on a friendly date, he realizes that he might have wanted more all that time.

The Friend Zone - Oneshot, comedy, side!HunHan. Kyungsoo has been sent to the Friend Zone times and times again. He is unaware that his only bestfriend is exactly in the same position as him.

In plain sight - Oneshot, broken!ChenSoo. Jongin’s tired of seeing his bestfriend sad and heartbroken. All he wants from him is to move on. With him. 

What If - Oneshot, based on the song “What If”. On the day he plans on confessing, Kyungsoo learns that Jongin is dating Soojung. Uhm, it does have a happy ending but not the one you’re expecting. :,(

Brighter - Angst, nonau. Kyungsoo learns about JenKai and Jongin reminds him that he always comes first.

complications; and how they arise - Twoshot, light angst, temporary ChanSoo. Basically Jongin and Kyungsoo postponing their confessions and drifting apart because of insecurities. Lovely.

Good Intentions - Chaptered, slightly OT12. Kyungsoo is tired of his bestfriend constantly bringing new people to their house and comes up with an idea to quench Jongin’s (their) thirst. Kyungsoo’s a freaking music teacher and prepares a Christmas recital with lil kids and I love it.

nothing scares you about me and you - well well if this isn’t another gem from verseau >:) roommates kaisoo are just friends, best friends, but omega jongin is so oblivious and keeps hooking up with other alphas even though he loves kyungsoo's scent and kyungsoo also has his fair share of omegas which riles jongin to no end, yet he won't admit they're made for each other.

look - "he never thought he'd see that shine again but towards another person." the first ship is kaisoo, then jenkai happens, and then kaisoo again. basically kyungsoo is jealous of jongin being in a relationship.

Ain’t nice - Jongin definitely has a type. This has a nice plot twist, it’s otherwise angsty, and I wouldn’t say that it matches 100% the request but I said I should add it. It’s quite interesting. 

The Woes Of The Heart - wedding planner au. kyungsoo loves jongin who is going to marry a girl and kyungsoo is the one that plans their wedding and he pours his feelings in his diary. inarichi snapped with this truly

A Heart at Peace - in this house we worship strange seas! jongin is junmyeon’s younger brother and has always been close to kyungsoo and kyungsoo has always a special place in his heart. but now, they’re adults, jongin feels something that kyungsoo can’t reciprocate because he dates women

Older (best)friends-to-lovers : March14, April14, 2016, 2017

Happy reading! - KFR Admins

[kaisooconnection]

The hardest thing about being a jongin stan and a kaisoo shipper is that I have to sit back and watch jongin receive all sorts of negative comments about his sexuality as well as his persona as an idol.

It's so hard for me to see kaisoo sceptics try to use jongin's behavior as a justification for why kaisoo isn't real. For instance:

1. Jongin has female friends who he is very close with - this must mean he is straight. Because there is apparently NO WAY he could be friends with attractive women without being in love with them. But if he is close with an attractive guy (aka kyungsoo) then that doesn't mean anything. Where is the logic????

2. Jongin has 2 dating scandals - obviously he is straight. Clearly there is nothing suspicious about how/when these scandals took place. Also, let's just ignore all of the inconsistencies in the stories surrounding these scandals. There is NO WAY that this is a cover up for jongin being in a relationship with kyungsoo, apparently

...and actually it's sad to think about all of those kaisoo shippers who left the fandom after the scandals. I understand wanting to support jongin in whatever relationship he chooses to be in and if it makes him happy then of course I would support it! BUT that shouldn't mean you close your eyes to the obvious facts in front of you and to avoid all of the obvious flaws in these dating scandals. Many shippers even blamed jongin for ruining their ship. Wth?! You think he wasn't having a hard enough time dealing with the fake scandal and its consequences, not just for his career but also his relationship with kyungsoo??? It breaks my heart to think of those moments

3. When kyungsoo joined the military and all of the other members mentioned kyungsoo in one way or another while jongin was reluctant to mention him at all. I saw many shippers and non-shippers claiming that jongin doesn't care about kyungsoo because he barely mentions him or visits him. Really??? Like really??? Do you blame him for being scared to comment? It must be so hard trying to pretend that the love of your life is just another bandmate especially when you must miss him so much that it hurts. Just consider how much trouble he would get into if he mentioned kyungsoo.

I remember when chanyeol posted a screenshot of their gc on ig for kyungsoo's birthday and jongin had put the watch emoji. Him and chanyeol must have gotten into so much trouble for doing that. We know because jongin had to go on ig live to make up an excuse for the emoji. That must have been so hard for him and probably caused him a lot of drama with the company. He must have to tread extremely carefully.

Essentially, the point I'm trying to make is that jongin is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. It breaks my heart to see people use his behavior as a reasoning for why kaisoo aren't a couple. I understand not shipping them, it's not a requirement, but I would appreciate people considering other possible explanations for his actions. And to all the kaisoo shippers that feel sceptical about kaisoo because of jongin's actions then please consider the difficult situation he must be in and how hard it must be for him to talk about or interact with kyungsoo at all. when he has the weight of his band/company/fans/friends/family to consider when he makes any moves in life.

I just wish the world was kinder to my bias and his partner. I hope their future is much brighter than their past has been 💞

[intoyourgalaxyismystyle]

7th sense (open your eyes)

I think and i do believe that one of the reasons why most people are reluctant to believe in kaisoo is because their relationship is too good and great to be true or real. Imagine having someone, staying in love with them for almost a decade, knowing that you met the other during your youth. Damn, even i would feel jealous about their relationship. It was as if youre denying to accept that they are really dating just because you think it is impossible for a couple, a homosexual one at that to be strong and stable in an industry that is prejudiced and manipulative. Im just glad that they have each other amidst the toxicity and angst their career may bring them. Even if they shared how much they like working as an artist, i know they know the other side of entertainment and are willing to survive and at the same time prosper their reputation there.

They have stable, supportive, and very healthy relationship. The way they treat each other, respect and believe in each other's capabilities. The way they understand what the other want even with just the glimpse of their eyes. All i can say is they really fit each other so well. Like it is fate, as what jongin had said.

They already come a long way. And i would like to see how much more can they love each other.

Fall in love with the dynamics of kaisoo from the way they show and express their love to one another.

Stay in love with them amidst the drama, angst, and lies that are happening.

And in the end of those, everything will be okay. After all, love always wins and truth will always prevails.

[zilverbullets]

Confessions of a former EXO-L

Dear EXO and fellow EXO-Ls,

Back in August 2014, I started being an exo fan (the fandom name was not even formed yet, so we remained nameless and often referred to ourselves as exotics). I was a 2nd-year college student slash EXO fan. I got roped into EXO because of my little sister who happened to be watching the GROWL MV that time. I was instantly hooked by the lively music and the powerful choreography, it was so catchy that i asked her to play it again and again. That’s when I started noticing the boys’ faces. Damn they’re all good-looking, but they were so manyyyy, It was literally a struggle to pinpoint who was who, i often mistook one member’s face with another. IT WAS THAT HARD, especially for a first time kpop fan. EXO is my bias group and remained my ONLY BIAS GROUP for the whole duration that I was a kpop fan. 

At first I was just mesmerized by the catchy tune and the dance, but let’s be honest, it was their faces that sealed the deal for me. I don’t remember now when I actually started doing my research, searching for the members profile, memorizing their faces and watching their previous MVs. I don’t remember when I started really liking EXO, to the point that I considered myself a fan. 

But it just happened. And i’m really glad it did. EXO and fangirling became my lifeline. I was recently out of a one-year relationship that time and EXO has helped me move on. I was distracted by the boys, their music and the dances. EXO healed my broken heart. EXO helped piece back a part of me that I thought had died together with my failed relationship. EXO has done a great deal of making me happy on those dark times. EXO became my new reason for living. 

So my journey with EXO started! From watching their mvs on repeat (it was only mama, history, wolf and growl at that time), to listening to their album tracks, to watching interviews and their individual debut teaser clips. When this wasn’t enough, I searched for more content that I could find. I literally scoured the internet for more EXO. 

Until I came across fanfics. To be honest, at first, I loathed the idea of ships and OTP. I cringe when I think of it. But watching several fan account videos has made me the exact opposite of what I told myself I wouldn’t become. Boy i was so wrong about that. The next thing I new, I was the biggest selu/kaisoo/chanbaek shipper (the big 3 ships T^T)!! Their skinship and interactions were everything to me that I don’t mind taking it to the next level, which was reading fanfictions. If my memory serves me right, the first ever exo fanfic that i have read was Anterrograde Tomorrow. This thing had been all over my tumblr feed that I got really curious what this shit is about. I kept seeing the quote, “See you tomorrow, hyung. Don’t forget!” everywhere. On memes, on edits, on FMVs. Like what is this about?? So I gave it a try. And fuck. I have never been more wrong in my entire life. I WAS A WEEPING MESS AFTER. The whole story stayed with me for weeks. I was fucking depressed, that I decided to look for crack/fluff/romantic fics to get over this feeling. This was how reading exo fanfics became a habit. I have read a lot of fandom classics that I’m sad to discover have been taken down by their respective writers now. It was good (heaven) while it lasted. I have read A LOT of exo fanfics to last me a lifetime, i’m not even kidding. This was how I spent my whole semester break. Cooped up in a corner, reading whilst crying from the angst/laughing my ass off/melting with so much fluff/and falling in love with EXO even more.

I was there when their first variety show aired, EXO’s Showtime. I can still remember the 18 year old me who diligently waited every week for translated episodes. This show has brought me to EXO on a more personal level. This is when I found out that I don’t love EXO because of their faces, I love EXO because they are a bunch of dorks and the biggest softies. OT12, We Are One, has been ingrained in my mind and my heart. 

I was there when they received their first ever Daesang Award. I could not get more proud of these boys! November 22, 2013. These guys deserved all the love and support in the world and this award is a proof of all their hard work. 

I was there during the MID Era. It was my first comeback (not technically comeback) as an official exo fan. And boy, Christmas Day was my favorite track from that album. The hip sways and the suspenders, i can’t even!

I welcomed the new year (2014) with EXO in my heart. I started buying exo merch, from posters, stickers, t-shirts and whatnot. My whole house was plastered with their posters, every wall that is available, I have EXO’s faces staring right back at me. Sadly, I cannot buy albums that time because I’m still in school and I don’t have the ability or the money to purchase one for myself. 

I was there during the Overdose Era. Every EXO fan has been anticipating this comeback because ever since GROWL was released, it brought along a lot of fans, including me. 

I was there when the first major EXO scandal happened, the sudden disappearance of Kris and his lawsuit against SM. Boy, I don’t even want to remember the feeling. It was like a part of me had died when this happened. I don’t want to admit the rumors and I kept praying that this was all a cruel joke and he’ll be back soon. I remember crying on the floor and praying and praying. But he didn’t. 

Their first concert here in the Philippines, EXO was now OT10. 

[doh-kyunqsoo]

kaisoo fic rec list

Complete

No buts, just beauty x - people called ksoo ugly but ji thinks otherwise, wolf au

Good graces x - this fic got me up and down, 200k yall and i read it twice

Life’s a Beach, Enjoy the Waves x - PARENT AU YALL

Think this through x - ksoo wanted to lose his virg but then someone came up :)

The burning life x - if yall love sherlock series then this is a must

Summer Falter x - i love this fic sooo soo much, no matter that ji always finds himself back to the same person

Habits of my heart x - kinda angsty but not the ending

1954 x - kinda mysterious

Imprint x - librarian ksoo

lucky charm x - hybrid ksoo

love in control x - kinda bdsm but not much

daddy issue x - so uhhh yeah

NHL verse x - kaisoo olympics players

lawyer up my ass x - lawyer ji :)))

the tainted claim x - wolf ji human ksoo

storm in a teacup x - vampire ji wants to protect ksoo but ksoo hates vampires the most

signal lost and found x - soulmate tattoo

circuit dreams x - their relationship is soooooo damn cute

a love that was more than love x - epilogue of circuit dreams featuring dyolamb

By the light of the moon x - this fic is really hitting my feels

Start Over x - time travel Jongin and part age switch

The Boys With The Blues x - angsty but beautifully written, happy ending tho

Default State of Being x -this fic is full of smut, writer ksoo and jongin is a fan ish

Oh Gravity x -  well from “strangers” with benefits to lovers, yes i like.

Iris x - i love ksoo in here, endures everything for jongin it’s a beautiful fic

Venus x - and it all begins with a cup of coffee

The Color of Love x - caring and vulnerable Kyungsoo is my weakness

The Kid Loves You (and so do i) x - so married Jongin but then his whole world is like WOW when he met Soo, Luhan is hilarious in here

Pavlovian x - Jongin hates his TA

Heaven is a place on earth with you x  - 3 shot fic but then it’s beautiful

Mini Jongin Guiding Manual x - this fic is full of fluff i cried, mini jongin but later PUFF human-sized

All is said and done x - Soo has a crush for Jongin since forever but it took him years to realize

Progressive Education x - pretty sure all KaiSoo shippers have read this one, the master kaisoo fic *bow down*

Altercation x - I guess beating each other up is a KaiSoo thing but hot stuff

And then I met you x - KSoo writes, Jongin reads - especially from Soo

Arabesque x - figure skating

Paper Mache x - my first chaptered kaisoo fic ever, it’s sweet

Sold from door to door x - ksoo has a crush on ji but thought ji would never notice him

Get to know me x - ksoo tutors ji secretly and people thought they’re enemies

Drawn to you  x - a beautiful fic, ksoo took time to get to know ji who is extremely cold towards others

Quicksand x - definitely one of my top favorites, rivals to lovers. Both are writers

Breathless x - doc!ksoo, kinda angsty, vulnerable!jongin

Treacherous x - brah a must read kaisoo fic, some of chanbaek too

The Lost Heirs x - wolf!au

My Alpha x - sooo gooood wolf!au, shy/insecure!kyungsoo

The woes of the heart x - must read, i was balling but happy ending. Best friends to lovers

Concupiscence x - 300k fic, s&m but worth reading CEO!jongin

It’s still a feeling x - roomate ish kaisoo, one of kaisoo legendary fics

Take a look outside x - ksoo is scared of height but don’t worry cuz jongin got him

Shape of my heart x - assassin!jongin

Please don’t x - have you listened to K.Will’s please dont? it’s like that but happy ending hahah

Fill the blank x - photographer jongin

Between The Lines x - best friends to lovers

Promise Me Forever x - another best friend to lovers but more like CEO-PA to lovers

Sooner or later x - fake dating but after that they feel like they’re missing something

Stained glass: fix you x - from the og stained glass fic but only one shot

Yes master x - cross dressing!ksoo

Red-Hot x - teacher!jongin and student!ksoo

The language of flowers x - hilarious but sweet

Mille-feuille x - ksoo sees jongin as his rival but jongin thinks of him otherwise

Translate me love x - jealous jongin

Read to me x - strangers to lovers

ongoing

monochromatic hearts x - mpreg ksoo

the ceo and me x - college student ksoo, ceo ji

meet me half way x - omfg this fic is beautiful, idol ji and his fav fansite master ksoo :))

violet silk x - wolf au

scent x - wolf ji human ksoo

trapped x - this is a beautiful historical fic, i really hope the author comes back and finishes it

Stained glass x - author nim hasn’t updated like the other but i’m in love with this fic plus tattoo Jongin is omfg

[cryokinesisandlight]

If Not Us, Who? (1/2)

pairings: xiuchen, kaisoo, baekyeol - xiukai, chenyeol, baeksoo

genre: angst-ish?? realism

word count: 7379

warnings: n/a

summary: love is hard but breaking up is harder.

Jongdae looks over his shoulder and sighs. Minseok isn’t what he was when they met in college 6 years ago. He’s still very handsome but he’s no longer what Jongdae desires. Jongdae turns back around and continues his crossword. 

When they met in college Minseok had been the mysterious friend in Jongdae’s group. Minseok had been silent and kept to himself and that had only drawn Jongdae closer. It had been a game between them and Jongdae had enjoyed the fight. 

Minseok had been everything he wanted and more – but he isn’t anymore.

It’s not that Minseok is a bad boyfriend in any way. He provides for them and complains little. Jongdae on the other hand complains a lot and it bothers him that the only answer he usually receives is an agreeing hum. 

He can’t find it in himself to break up with the older man, however. Jongdae is way too dependent on Minseok and he keeps believing there are ways to fix it, ways to talk it out and ways to start over again. 

Except every night he lies awake while Minseok sleeps next to him and hopes he’ll soon be out because he can’t talk to Minseok. 

They’ve grown apart and the longer it takes him to remove the bandaid and break up, the more will it hurt. He lets his eyes rake over the paper before he returns to the crossword.

~~~

In an apartment in Jongam-dong is Jongin waking up from his afternoon nap when his phone starts ringing. He fumbles with his glasses and finally finds it, only to get disappointed when he hears his boyfriend on the other end. A surge of guilt follows the disappointment.

“Hey,” he says into the phone and tunes out while Kyungsoo tells him about his colleagues. It’s not that Jongin doesn’t care but Kyungsoo says the same every time he’s overseas and Jongin knows he won’t be missing what he wants to hear the most. Because no matter how often Kyungsoo is away, he never tells him that he misses him. Jongin doesn’t really doubt Kyungsoo’s love for him but it’s shadowed by feelings of loneliness.

They haven’t spoken in a long time. Jongin finds it hard to tell Kyungsoo that he feels lonely because Kyungsoo won’t understand. Kyungsoo doesn’t have a large group of friends but they’re close and he never needed verbal affection.

 Jongin needs verbal affection more than anyone he has ever known. He needs to be told that he’s loved and appreciated and every time he tells Kyungsoo this the other man tilts his head in a question and asks why. 

And Kyungsoo won’t ever understand and Jongin doesn’t want to annoy him by requesting things that falls so unnatural to the other man. 

Kyungsoo hangs up after an ‘I’m running late, see you later’ and Jongin stares at the phone in his hand.

Jongin appreciates Kyungsoo. He loves him. But the more they’re together, the more do they seem distanced and Jongin doesn’t know what to do to get closer to Kyungsoo again. He puts the phone down, forgets his unhappiness and turns on the TV.

~~~

“Chanyeol for crying out loud,” Baekhyun says and turns around on his heels so he can glare at the taller man. “How long is it going to take?” 

He hears noises from the bathroom and sighs frustrated. It’s always like this whenever they’re on their way out and Baekhyun is getting impatient. 

It had been a charming thing when they met but the way Chanyeol takes his time with everything is starting to bother Baekhyun now. 

They’re always running late because of Chanyeol and Baekhyun hates when he has all eyes on him in a negative light. And right now, they’re on their way to a baby naming ceremony.

“I can’t tie my tie,” Chanyeol mumbles and Baekhyun groans out loud. He doesn’t care that Chanyeol hears it because he’s frustrated.

“Then leave the damn tie,” he says and walks through their apartment so he can burst into the bathroom and remove the tie violently from around Chanyeol’s neck and slam it onto the counter. “I don’t fucking care, come on!”

Baekhyun has to tell Chanyeol to speed and they barely make it to the church, everybody looking at them when they enter seconds before the doors are shut behind them. 

Baekhyun does his best to ignore his boyfriend and calm his anger throughout the ceremony and he succeeds – until Chanyeol takes forever with getting to the reception afterwards.

Baekhyun isn’t a man with a lot of patience but he has been waiting for Chanyeol for years. 

When he fell in love with Chanyeol 5 years ago he had sworn that he would wait forever but forever is a long time and Baekhyun’s patience has long since run out. Chanyeol apologizes in a hushed whisper and Baekhyun accepts it but they both know it’ll be the same the next time they’re going to another event. 

Deep inside Baekhyun knows that they should probably break up, that it doesn’t work out for them and that they’re hurting each other more than anything by keeping up the façade, but Baekhyun loves Chanyeol and he’s a little scared of what’s going to happen when he no longer has Chanyeol, so he swallows the frustration as good as he can and clings on with all he has.

~~~

Kyungsoo yawns as he walks through passport control. His small luggage is following along behind him as he drags it with him with little force. It’s 11.23 pm and he has the next three days off. For some reason, however, he’s not looking forward to getting home. 

He feels bad for it but reasons that it’s not his fault. Jongin has been passive-aggressive for the past weeks and Kyungsoo doesn’t know what more to do. Jongin never says what it is he wants and Kyungsoo has tried taking time off to be more home, but that didn’t help. 

Now he takes the long flights so he doesn’t have to worry about Jongin. It’s cowardly but it’s easier to pretend everything is fine between them on the phone. 

One of the stewardesses passes him and wishes him a good weekend and Kyungsoo nods and wishes her the same.

When he leaves the airport, he goes to find the Airport Railroad Train. The train is relatively empty on a Friday late evening and it means Kyungsoo gets a seat. 

He leans back against the windows and closes his eyes while he lets the train transport him towards home. When he first got the job, Jongin had happily travelled back and forth to pick him up from either Incheon or Gimpo, but ever since they moved to Jongam-dong it had been a rarity. 

Kyungsoo doesn’t really fault Jongin for not wanting to drive far when he has a job too, but at the same time, it hurts a little sometimes when he has been gone for a few days. Kyungsoo transfers to line 6 at Gongdeok Station and sinks back into another seat.

26 minutes later he exits with his luggage and looks towards the sky. It’s cloudy and chilly and Kyungsoo sighs. It’s not going to be warmer when he comes home.

~~~

Chanyeol isn’t a stranger to the threads his and Baekhyun’s relationship are kept together with. He knows that Baekhyun is constantly on the move, his mind working without relaxing. It used to be charming, the way the other man always had a million projects on the go, but it isn’t anymore. 

Chanyeol is tired. He’s tired of seeing death and injuries every day at work. His mind needs to gear down, needs to remove the images of what he’s seeing at times and it results in everything else working in slow-motion. Chanyeol knows it bothers Baekhyun but he doesn’t want to change it. He knows they should talk about it, that he should tell Baekhyun why he needs to slow down and be clumsy and forgetful and lazy but he can’t find the words to say it.

And Chanyeol loves Baekhyun, he really does. The 4 years with Baekhyun has been 4 years Chanyeol appreciates and cherishes. He’s no idiot, however, no matter how many times Baekhyun tells him he is, and he knows that maybe it would be better to break up. 

Breaking up is scary, however, and so he decides to carry on, ignore their problems. At least until he can find the words to explain to Baekhyun.

~~~

Minseok loves Jongdae. He sees their differences as a way to grow and he enjoys Jongdae’s rants every afternoon. He knows Jongdae enough to know that the other man is a little annoyed when he doesn’t say much, but Minseok doesn’t know what to say. He tries to come up with things for Jongdae, he tried even harder when they started dating, but by now he has grown comfortable in their routine and he prefers it this way. 

He loves it when he knows what’s going to happen. He loves that he’s home at 5 pm every day and can start cooking for when Jongdae returns from his shift at the hospital at 5.30 pm. He loves that they eat together, sometimes in comfortable silence, other times with Jongdae ranting about colleagues. 

There’s a certain satisfaction that comes with knowing what happens next and Minseok appreciates the predictability.

He climbs out of the covers and looks back at his sleeping boyfriend. Jongdae has never been a morning person, not like Minseok. Minseok appreciates the sunrise more than the sunset. He slips on his slippers and walks towards the bathroom so he can shower. 

The hot water warms up his cold body and he closes his eyes under the stream of water, lets it wash away his thoughts and doubts. When he steps out of the shower, he hears Jongdae’s alarm and Jongdae cursing. 

Minseok sends his reflection a smile and then the door opens and a dishevelled Jongdae appears.

~~~

The pager in his pockets beeps in quick succession and he groans internally. It’s not that Jongdae usually minds getting called but he’s in the middle of his lunch break and this beeping means incoming trauma. 

It’s rare that he even gets these calls because he’s a dentist and he is never required to be there. The message on the pager readers major head injury, however, and that means that he has to be there to look at the jaw and the teeth should anything require emergency surgery. 

His colleagues send him a smile when he gets up from his seat and leaves the coffee room to go down to the E.R.

The trauma team takes over first when the patient arrives and when the paramedics are done with their job they leave. Jongdae tilts his head when he notices the tall man in the paramedic uniform talk to the head nurse. 

Then he turns his head towards the patient and immediately knows that he has a lot to do. If all the blood on his face indicates anything, Jongdae is pretty sure he requires surgery.

~~~

“I understand,” Baekhyun says and scribbles the request into his note book. “Yes. Absolutely, it’s not going to be any problem. What day would fit you?” he asks and then finds his calendar. The 25th is circled with red. It’s their 5th anniversary. Baekhyun tunes back to the customer on the phone and listens to their schedule. 

When she suggests the 25th Baekhyun takes a look at his calendar before he confirms. He writes the appointment down and hopes that Chanyeol will forgive him. 

They never do anything on their anniversary anyway, it’s impossible that Chanyeol has planned anything this year. In fact, it would probably be a miracle if he hasn’t forgotten. Baekhyun doesn’t think it hurts anyone. He hangs up on the phone after he has confirmed a few of her requests.

It’s the first meeting they will have but this is a woman with plans and Baekhyun is going to meet all of them and make her wedding exactly what she wants it to be and more. 

This is what Baekhyun does. He plans weddings and other events and makes sure they are dreamlike. He makes them whatever his clients want them to be and Baekhyun is the best in town. 

It has taken years for him to get where he is now but now that he is finally on top of the game, only competing with a few others, he is not going to suddenly lose clients because he can’t meet up with them. 

He turns to his computer and starts writing down in more detail what has been said in the phone because there is no way he is going to be able to read his own notes in a day or two.

~~~

Jongin sighs and rolls his shoulders. The weekend has been absolutely horrible. The minute Kyungsoo stepped inside the apartment, Jongin longed for him to leave again. It’s easier when he isn’t there. Somehow the loneliness is justified when Kyungsoo is on another continent, but the loneliness doesn’t disappear just because Kyungsoo is home and it makes it a lot harder to deal with. 

Jongin turns back to his computer screen. If only he could talk to someone about it. He doesn’t want to talk to Kyungsoo but Jongin has been unable to tell his sister as well and it bothers him a little that it has become such a secret. It shouldn’t be. 

Jongin isn’t a horrible person for feeling the way he does. Yes, he feels guilty whenever he sees Kyungsoo and knows that he doesn’t love the other man anymore but it doesn’t make him to a bad man and he knows that his sister would understand. Still he’s unable to tell her that things aren’t going as smooth as he wants them to.

He blinks a little to focus back on his job. Jongin has a habit of day dreaming at times and his boss isn’t particularly satisfied with this. 

It’s not that Jongin is bad at what he does, he isn’t. Working with software hadn’t been Jongin’s first dream when he was a child but he’s happy with where he is. 

The company is large enough to not suffer much financially but small enough that the employees know each other and it’s the perfect place for Jongin.

~~~

His phone weighs in his hand as he stares at the last conversation he had with Jongdae last. It’s from two days ago and it’s a simple request of picking up some milk on his way home. 

They don’t talk a lot these days and while Minseok doesn’t mind the lack of conversation, it does worry him a little. He pockets his phone again without telling Jongdae that he has gotten a job interview. He can tell him over dinner. Minseok isn’t disliked in his work place, but the stress is getting to him and he wants to work somewhere smaller. 

He can’t quit, however, because that would mean living solely on Jongdae’s income and Minseok doesn’t want to burden his boyfriend. Instead he has started looking for jobs elsewhere around Seoul.

The first time he brought up his unhappiness with his job, Jongdae had enthusiastically encouraged him to find another job. Now Minseok never hears Jongdae’s opinions on anything. He sighs a little and continues down the street, styrofoam-cup of coffee in hand.

~~~

“What?” Chanyeol asks and Baekhyun looks up from his calendar.

“Do you mind?” he asks but doesn’t sound very concerned with Chanyeol’s opinion.

“I …” Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun for a few seconds while he decides whether or not he minds. “Yes, I mind.”

Only then does Baekhyun look up from his calendar. He raises an eyebrow.

“Really?” he asks and Chanyeol sighs a little.

“Nevermind,” Chanyeol says and watches as Baekhyun shrugs and returns to his calendar. They should be talking about this but Chanyeol is too exhausted. Instead he turns around and wanders into the bedroom.

~~~

Kyungsoo turns to look at Jongin.

“I’ll be back tomorrow. It’s just a quick flight to Beijing,” he says. Kyungsoo doesn’t really know what he expects but it isn’t Jongin turning around with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll be at Taemin’s tomorrow,” he says. “I promised to babysit the little ones while he and Gwiboon go on a date to celebrate their 5-year anniversary.”

Kyungsoo looks at Jongin and nods a little. He guesses it would have been too much if he had expected Jongin to wait for him at home.

“I’ll call you when I arrive,” Kyungsoo says instead and Jongin just shrugs. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to feel annoyed but he can’t help it. Jongin’s nonchalance and his passive-aggressiveness is starting to get on his nerves and even though he tries to stay calm, he can still feel how he grits his teeth.

Kyungsoo turns around and leaves Jongin in the living room.

~~~

When Jongdae plops down into his seat in the canteen, he notices the tall paramedic that had been there the day he had gotten the trauma call. For reasons Jongdae doesn’t know he gets up from his seat and walks towards the other man.

“Can I sit?” he asks and obviously pulls the man from his thoughts. The other man sends him a wide smile and nods a little.

“Yes,” he says and gestures towards the other chairs. There isn’t anyone around them, people sitting with colleagues at other tables. 

Jongdae constantly tries to figure out why he has moved to sit opposite of this stranger, but he comes up short. The only logical reason he finds is that he just wants to get to know new people, that he just wants new friends.

Jongdae doesn’t get out much, not after they moved to Hagye-dong. His friends are busy with their own lives and most of them have moved further away after they got children. Some of his childhood friends still live in Daejeon and it’s too far for Jongdae to casually travel to Daejeon. 

Minseok’s friends are boring and Jongdae never really hit it off with them. Jongdae wishes he could fault their move on Minseok, but truth is that they moved to get closer to Jongdae’s work place.

He bites into his sandwich before he sighs audibly in front of the stranger.

“I’m Chanyeol,” the man opposite of Jongdae says after 5 minutes of silence where they have been eating. Jongdae looks up, chews his food and sends Chanyeol a smile.

“Jongdae,” he introduces as well. Maybe this decision wasn’t that stupid.

~~~

Baekhyun knows the look in Chanyeol’s eyes when he gets dressed Saturday morning. He doesn’t say anything as he grabs his bag and slams the door behind him. The sun is shining from a blue sky but Baekhyun isn’t in the mood to good weather. Honestly, it would have been much better if it had been raining. 

He shakes his head a little and tries to forget Chanyeol as he walks towards his appointment.

He stands up from his seat when the woman enters. Baekhyun has prepared a pot of tea and he gestures towards it while he tells her she’s welcome to take a cup. She has big dreams and she paints a wedding filled with tulle. 

Baekhyun can see the details before him until he asks her about a budget and she’s much lower than her dreams would ever cost.

It takes a lot to discuss the reasonable wedding she can get for her budget and he needs to cross a few things off his list. There’s no way she can afford a menu including oysters and caviar. She isn’t happy with this knowledge, however and it takes a lot of sugar coating and sweet-talking. 

In the end, however, she believes in his ability to make it perfect despite the low budget. Baekhyun manages his temples. The incoming headache is not going to be better when he gets home and has to deal with Chanyeol.

~~~

Minseok should have seen it coming. Really, the signs had been there. Their lacking interest, the short conversation, the unimpressed boss. He sighs a little as he stops in the middle of the street. His suit looks flawless and people stare at him like he stands out among the other business people in the district. He runs a hand through his hair. 

Minseok wants to scream. It had been the perfect opportunity but there is nothing he can do about it now. He sends a text to Jongdae but the only thing he receives is a Read 12.05 PM.

~~~

Chanyeol stares at the two candles. The red cloth is on the table and the food on the plates untouched. Chanyeol knows he shouldn’t have made a big deal out of it. It’s only their 5th year anniversary, not their wedding day. 

Still he feels exhausted that he’s here alone on a day that should be significant to them. He doesn’t know when Baekhyun’s meeting ended and where he is and he hasn’t bothered to text or call him. 

He’s staring at the wax making its way down the two candles, two orange spots flashing before his vision every time he pulls it away from the candles.

When the front door opens, Chanyeol removes his gaze from the fire and blinks a couple of times to remove the orange spots. Baekhyun enters the kitchen with a yawn and then stops.

“What?” he asks and Chanyeol smiles a bitter smile.

“I’m celebrating my 5th anniversary with my boyfriend. Oh right, he’s not here. Because he doesn’t care.”

Baekhyun tilts his head and raises an eyebrow.

“Really Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asks and Chanyeol leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “You know how important my job is to me. No, wait, it’s not like you would understand what it means to work hard for something.”

Chanyeol blinks, taken aback at the venom in Baekhyun’s words.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You think I became a paramedic in my sleep?” Chanyeol asks. Baekhyun doesn’t say anything. “You have got to be kidding me.”

When Chanyeol gets up from the chair he has been sitting on, he towers over Baekhyun. Baekhyun doesn’t step back, however, too used to Chanyeol’s height.

“So you’re leaving, huh? What a way to deal with shit like this.”

Chanyeol whips around and glares at Baekhyun.

“Are you for real right now? You were the one who thought your job was more important than us, you were the one that ditched me even though I said I minded and right now you’re the one accusing me of running away?”

“You are running away! You’re always running away. Unless we actually have to be somewhere because then you’re so ridiculously slow that I have to drag you out to get anywhere on fucking time.”

“This isn’t about me being slow,” Chanyeol tries but Baekhyun shakes his finger a little in disagreement.

“No. This is about you being slow. This is about you expecting everything even though you always run away from confrontations and conversations.”

“You never talk to me either! The only thing you ever say you say to fucking hurt me. I’m sick and tired of always having to be your puppy! Do you even love me?”

Baekhyun stops a little before he answers.

“No.”

Chanyeol looks at him and feels his heart crack in two. He knew. Somewhere deep inside he has known for months where they were going. 

Chanyeol has known for months that they were heading towards a break-up but hearing it said out loud hurts so incredibly much.

“I want you to leave,” he says. He swallows the lump in his throat. “I don’t want to see you again. We’re done.”

Baekhyun blinks a few times.

“Coward!” he says before he turns on his heels and heads into the bedroom so he can pack his things. Chanyeol flops down on the chair again and buries his head in his hands while he realizes that this is real. The candle wax is dripping onto the cloth now. 

When Chanyeol hears footsteps he looks up from his hands.

“Baekhyun,” he shouts and Baekhyun stops in front of the kitchen.

“If you take back your words, then I will be the one to say them. We’re done Chanyeol. I break up. I’ll come get my things soon.”

With those words, he leaves the apartment and Chanyeol buries his hands once again.

~~~

Jongin looks at Hyein who clings to her mother. Gwiboon is looking at him with pity.

“Jongin,” she says as she rocks back and forth in the rocking chair while she breastfeeds Jungwoo. Jongin ignores her and calls towards Hyein again but the girl only tries to climb onto Gwiboon’s lap. 

Taemin joins them in the living room and grabs the 3-year-old girl before she can get her feet caught under the rocking chair. She giggles a little before she notices Jongin and hides in Taemin’s shoulder.

“You should go home,” Taemin says as he plops onto the couch next to Jongin. “I bet Kyungsoo is missing you.”

Jongin scoffs and both Taemin and Gwiboon raise an eyebrow.

“No, he doesn’t,” Jongin mumbles. That’s the last thing Kyungsoo does. Jongin hasn’t told Taemin that his and Kyungsoo’s relationship is not ideal anymore, however. He had wanted to tell him but then Gwiboon had gotten pregnant with Jungwoo and Jongin hadn’t wanted to impose on the family happiness. 

The longer he had left it unsaid, the harder it had become to actually say it out loud.

“What?” Taemin asks. “Is everything okay?”

Hyein moves in his lap and turns around to look at Jongin. She starts talking to Taemin but he only briefly looks at her before he gets eye contact with Jongin.

“Dad,” Hyein says and Taemin sighs a little.

“Not now princess.”

She pouts and cuddles into his chest to gain his attention but it doesn’t work. Jongin wishes Taemin would be more focused on this daughter than he is on him. 

That isn’t going to happen, however, because whenever Taemin has an inkling something is wrong, he’ll go to the world’s end to figure out what it is. Jongin doesn’t understand why Gwiboon married him.

“It’s … nothing. We’re fine.”

The lie is obvious and Jongin fools no one.

“Princess?” Gwiboon suddenly says and gains Hyein’s attention. Jungwoo is done nursing. “Do you want to help mommy fix lunch?”

Hyein nods and climbs from Taemin’s lap. Gwiboon hands Taemin Jungwoo instead but the 4-months-old baby burps and then falls asleep in his arms.

“Jongin, what’s wrong?”

Jongin sighs.

“It’s … I feel lonely,” he finally admits. “We’re just not compatible, I guess. But I love him, I really do.”

“Why do you say you’re not compatible?”

“He never tells me he loves me.”

It sounds so pathetic. Jongin really shouldn’t complain about his relationship with Kyungsoo but he feels so lonely, so distanced. It doesn’t feel like they’re boyfriends and Jongin is sinking further and further into the loneliness. 

He wishes he could just stop demanding the verbal affection from Kyungsoo. If he could then everything would fix itself. But life isn’t like that.

“Did you tell him?” Taemin asks and Jongin nods.

“It doesn’t come naturally to him and I guess I got tired of constantly complaining because he doesn’t tell me he loves me or misses me. I don’t know Taem, I wish it was easy but … I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“You should break up if you’re falling out of love, Jongin. It’s not fair to either of you to stay in a relationship that doesn’t work out. You’re not making things easier by staying.”

Jongin nods a little. Still he doesn’t want to fully admit to himself that Taemin is right. He’d rather believe it can be fixed, that time will heal the wounds – even if logic tells him that there is only one right decision.

~~~

“Dr. Kim,” the nurse says and Jongdae looks up from his patient to turn around and look at her.

“What is it?” he asks and she bows a little as an apology for interrupting his session.

“Mr. Kim is here to see you.”

Jongdae bites his lower lip and closes his eyes while he counts to 10 so he doesn’t get angry.

“Tell him I’ll be there when I can,” he says and opens his eyes to watch her nod and close the door. 

Then he turns back to the patient in the chair. The woman looks at him curiously. Jongdae counts to 10 again, just to be sure that his annoyance has dimmed enough to not affect his communication with the patient.

Minseok is not supposed to be here. Jongdae has asked multiple times that he doesn’t show up at the hospital. The nurses think it’s a sweet gesture and that Minseok is oh-so-romantic but Jongdae finds it annoying. 

He wants his work-place to be free of dating and romantic affection. He’s a professional and he wants to spend his breaks with his co-workers, not his boyfriend. 

There is a clear line in Jongdae’s mind and Minseok is overstepping constantly, even when he has been told not to.

So Jongdae does what he does best; he prolongs the time before he has to talk to Minseok. It makes him strangely satisfied to see Minseok waiting for him.

When he can’t stall their meeting any more he goes to fetch Minseok, only to be handed a piece of paper and get a kiss on his cheek. Minseok leaves him with a smile and Jongdae looks down at the paper. He sighs and pockets the paper as he reads the time and the restaurant on it. 

Then he returns to his office and tries to forget the dinner invitation that lies heavy in the pocket of his doctor’s coat.

~~~

Kyungsoo shouldn’t be upset with the lack of Jongin in the past two days. He knows that it’s on time they end it, that the act can’t keep going. He just doesn’t want to hurt Jongin. It should be logical that hurting is inevitable but Kyungsoo feels bad because he knows that he will feel more relief than he’ll feel hurt and it’s all wrong. He should be heartbroken to let his boyfriend of 4 years go but he isn’t.

“An Americano to go,” he says to the barista behind the counter when it’s finally his turn and as he steps aside he starts thinking about him and Jongin again. 

Maybe time caught up to them, maybe they were just not as strong as he first thought they were. Maybe they were not meant to be.

He’s handed the cup of coffee and goes to find a table before he has to board. He’s there early, way earlier than he’s supposed to be, but staying in the apartment without Jongin had been a dreadful reminder of what was no longer. 

There is still an hour until he has to start working and Kyungsoo fully intends on using it people watching in the airport.

A large family in a hurry captures his attention and he watches the parents usher their children towards the terminal. He guesses they’re going on vacation if their clothes say anything. They’re probably going to Europe. 

A lone businessman in suit rushes past in the other direction. He’s definitely on a flight to Busan. He’s probably going home. Kyungsoo smiles a little. 

Then he tilts his head as he observes a young man with his hair dyed red. He’s tapping his feet to an invisible beat like he’s in a hurry but when he turns around to look for a place to sit, he seems oddly relaxed. 

The man sits a couple of seats away from Kyungsoo but Kyungsoo can’t tear his eyes from the other man.

~~~

Baekhyun takes a deep breath and looks around to find a seat. He’s still annoyed with Chanyeol and how everything has played out. He didn’t want to break up like that, but he’s also too angry to fix it. It’s over between them. It had been unfair of Chanyeol to act like he had. 

Baekhyun has been sleeping at Taeyeon and Jiyong’s. Taeyeon is highly pregnant but the minute he had told her what had happened between him and Chanyeol she had insisted that he stayed with them. Baekhyun still needs to tell his parents that they have broken up but he isn’t going to rush it. 

Right now, he has promised Taeyeon to spend some money to treat himself so that is what he’s going to do.

Baekhyun has planned a flight to Sapporo and he’s going to spend the weekend relaxing in onsens and eating great food. He should probably feel bad due to the break up but Baekhyun is looking forward to forgetting Chanyeol. 

The anger he had left with is still simmering within him and he just wants to forget it all before he has to go back and stand face to face with Chanyeol once again. 

Then he catches sight of a man in uniform, sipping a cup of coffee and Baekhyun places himself in a chair so he can take looks at the other man. That is wrong, so wrong, but it helps Baekhyun forget.

~~~

“I can’t believe he did that,” Chanyeol mumbles and plops down in front of the dentist. Jongdae looks up from his lunch and raises an eyebrow at the sight of the tall paramedic.

“Who did what?” he asks and Chanyeol only then realizes that he’s not alone at the table.

“Oh, uh, it’s nothing,” Chanyeol says and waves his hand a little. He starts eating but he’s still annoyed. Baekhyun shouldn’t have fled the country. They could have worked it out. It was a stupid misunderstanding, a heated argument. This is ridiculous. “No, you know what? It’s not nothing.”

Jongdae tilts his head a little in question and Chanyeol just sighs.

“My boyfriend … ex-boyfriend, I guess, is just being absolutely ridiculous.”

Chanyeol smiles a little to lift the atmosphere and Jongdae nods a little. Chanyeol has a beautiful smile, but right now it looks worn down. Jongdae frowns a little. That was an unprofessional thought. He shouldn’t think like that when he’s in a relationship.

“I know that we don’t really know each other, but if you need to let it all out, I’m a great listener,” Jongdae says and Chanyeol just nods a little.

“That’s a kind offer, but no thanks. I’ll be fine.”

~~~

When Minseok hangs up, he lifts both arms in a silent celebration. He got it. He did it. This company is perfect. They’re smaller but still big enough to need an HR manager. It’s located in Northern Seoul so Minseok doesn’t even have to propose a move to Jongdae. 

And the best of all – the employees and bosses seem like amazing people he’ll be able to work well with. It’ll be perfect. 

Finally he can leave his dreaded position. Finally everything will be better.

Nevermind the fact that Jongdae stood him up yesterday at the restaurant and only arrived after 50 minutes. According to Jongdae he had forgotten the note in his doctor’s coat but Minseok knows deep down inside that it hadn’t been that. 

He decides to ignore it, however, because he wants to believe they can fix it. He loves Jongdae and he doesn’t want this to go to waste. Things will be better now. Definitely.

Minseok is sitting on the couch, typing away at his laptop when Jongdae enters after his shit.

“I have something to tell you,” Minseok says excitedly and pats the couch to invite Jongdae over. Jongdae still stands unnecessarily far away.

“I got a new job,” Minseok says at the same time Jongdae says “let’s break up.”

They look at each other.

“What?” Minseok asks.

“Let’s break up,” Jongdae repeats. The temperature in the living room suddenly feels chilly. Minseok puts the computer away on the table and turns to look fully at Jongdae.

“Why?”

He doesn’t understand. Everything was supposed to be better. Minseok just got a new job, they were going to fix this. They can’t break up.

“I don’t love you anymore Minseok.”

The words sting as they’re said and Minseok gets up from the couch, only to sink back onto it when the words sink in. Then he feels a tear trail down his cheek. 

Minseok doesn’t understand it. When did Jongdae stop loving him? When did their relationship become unrepairable?

His emotions are all over the place and Minseok cries. He cries into Jongdae’s shoulder when the other sits down on the couch next to him and wraps his arms around him. 

Minseok wants to be mad, wants to push him away but he doesn’t. The only thing he’s able to is hold Jongdae close and cry and Minseok wishes it wasn’t like that.

~~~

“We should break up,” Jongin says to his reflection in the mirror. “I’m breaking up,” he repeats. Then he shakes his head. He can’t do it. Why is breaking up with someone so difficult? It’s for the best, Taemin’s voice echoes in his mind and Jongin frowns. 

What if it isn’t? What if he’s just fooling himself because he’s blinded by his own disappointment? 

Jongin shakes his head again and returns his gaze to his reflection.

“I think we should break up.”

~~~

Kyungsoo looks at his co-pilot. They’re over the Pacific Ocean and there has been no trouble so far. It’s 3.30 AM back in Korea and Kyungsoo is tired. He hasn’t been able to sleep well with all this distance Jongin is putting between them and even the coffee he has consumed in the airport before starting work is no longer enough.

“Would it be okay if I took a collected rest? Just 10 minutes. I’ll fly afterwards if you need me to?”

His co-pilot nods a little and Kyungsoo scoots his seat back, away from the instruments.

“Trouble back home?” he asks and Kyungsoo groans and rests his head back against the seat.

“Don’t remind me,” he says and his co-pilot chuckles a little. Kyungsoo falls asleep within minutes and is awakened 10 minutes later. The power nap helps him focus on the rest of the flight, but the thoughts of Jongin never disappears.

~~~

Baekhyun really doesn’t mean to get drunk, but he still ends up crying into Taeyeon’s pregnant belly when he arrives home from Sapporo, drunk out of his mind.

He misses Chanyeol and it’s stupid. It’s stupid because he broke it off, it was him who couldn’t fix it any more, him who couldn’t stand Chanyeol. Chanyeol and his stupid long legs and his stupid gorgeous smile. Chanyeol and his deep voice that sends shivers down Baekhyun’s spine. Chanyeol and everything he brought with him. 

Taeyeon sighs a little but runs her hand through Baekhyun’s hair.

“I miss him,” Baekhyun whispers and hiccups before he forces his tears away with his hands. “I should call him and apologize.”

Taeyeon gently fishes his phone out of his pocket and places it between her thigh and the couch pillow, effectively trapping it out of Baekhyun’s reach.

“No, you shouldn’t. You just miss the idea of being in a relationship,” she says and Baekhyun shakes his head against her belly.

“No. No, I definitely miss Chanyeol.”

He nods a little before he sniffles. Chanyeol who had been his dream guy, his ideal type, everything he had wished for. And then he starts crying again. How stupid he had been when he broke it off. Because of a silly argument. They could have fixed it, right? Taeyeon continues to stroke his hair while Baekhyun cries.

~~~

“This is purely platonic,” Jongdae says and reaches over to grab the beer on the counter. Chanyeol nods beside him.

“Of course,” he says and sends Jongdae a smile. Jongdae wishes it wasn’t so contagious. “So why did you invite me out to grab a beer?”

Jongdae just sighs.

“I need advice and I have no friends in Seoul that doesn’t know my boy… ex-boyfriend.”

Chanyeol nods in understanding.

“Oh,” he says and Jongdae nods a little as well. Going to the guy he has spent lunch with a week or two is stupid. Jongdae should have talked to his friends, called Sanghyuk and asked his opinion but it had been easier to ask Chanyeol out to get a beer. 

It’s friendly, the atmosphere doesn’t suggest anything and Jongdae just enjoys the presence of the other man.

He doesn’t know how to feel after he broke up with Minseok. His first emotion had been relief but then Minseok had started crying and guilt had been overshadowing the relief. He still doesn’t really know how to feel. If relief is even alright to feel in a situation like this and even though he knows that Chanyeol just got out of a relationship as well, it feels nice to just say it out loud. 

It’s easier to sort through his feelings and thoughts when he gets to say them out loud and Chanyeol is a great listener.

They talk for hours in the small bar, one beer becoming two and two becoming four and before he knows it he’s a little tipsy. It feels liberating, however and Jongdae welcomes the feeling with open arms. 

And when Chanyeol laughs he knows he made a great decision when he asked Chanyeol to go with him.

~~~

Jongin finds Kyungsoo in their apartment when he finishes brushing his teeth. He has had the music on loud and hasn’t heard the front door open so when he’s suddenly face to face with the smaller man, he stops his dancing. 

He’s in his pyjama pants and a grey shirt and Kyungsoo is standing there in his uniform.

“We need to talk, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says and Jongin’s resolve crumbles. He doesn’t want to talk. Suddenly he’s not ready to do anything and he wants to run away and hide in their bed, put his fingers in his ears and act like Hyein instead of the 26-year-old man he is.

“Can’t it wait?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo shakes his head. Shit. “I was on my way to bed.”

Kyungsoo sighs and looks at Jongin and Jongin shrinks in on himself.

“Jongin,” he says and Jongin stands as nailed to the floor while Kyungsoo places himself on the couch. There’s silent in the apartment. “I don’t think we should continue.”

Jongin squeezes his eyes shut at the words. He doesn’t want to listen anymore.

“No,” he whispers. Kyungsoo continues.

“This … Us … It doesn’t work anymore. I’m unhappy. I can’t do this anymore, it’s not fair to keep you in this relationship either. It’s not you, it’s me. Let’s break up.”

“No,” Jongin whispers again with his eyes still shut. This is not true. Kyungsoo can’t break up with him, not like this. Why is it so easy for Kyungsoo to say these words? Why doesn’t he struggle with them?

When he opens his eyes Kyungsoo is still there on the couch, pity in his eyes, sadness in his smile and it’s all wrong. It’s all wrong. Jongin should have been the one to break up with Kyungsoo. Jongin is the unhappy one. 

What did he do to make Kyungsoo so miserable that he had to break up? 

Jongin turns on his heels and heads into the bedroom where he crawls under the blanket. He listens to footsteps but hears nothing. There’s silent around him and the silence is suffocating.

Jongin is the wrong person. It’s Jongin, not Kyungsoo. It’s not you, it’s me. The anger that rises in his veins slowly overtakes the confusion.

Of course, it’s Jongin. Jongin did wrong. Kyungsoo didn’t do anything. He sits up in bed and punches his blanket. Of course, Kyungsoo wanted to break up with him because Jongin has only been doing the wrong thing. 

Jongin is the course of this. Jongin was jealous, Jongin was unable to conform, Jongin was unable to compromise. 

He wants to scream and punch the wall but instead he throws the blanket to the floor and then curls in on himself and starts crying, rocking back and forth on the mattress.

[kaisooficrec]

Hello there, fellow KaiSooists. I have never had as much concentrated written fun as when I was reading these fics. I really love intense violence/crime AUs and I had to leave out so many spy and hitman and military fics for the sake of sticking to mafia. SO I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY LIKE I DEFINETELY DID.

Mafia Boss - kyungsoo is the mafia mob leader / vampire and has his secretary jongin by his side. he has to protect jongin since they got an unexpected news from him (mpreg)

Mad Love - mafia au, jongin is kinda soo's trophy wife ;) lots of sexual tension, nini in stockings n purple cropped sweater uwu 

Bluff - ot12, unfinished but chaptered. My all-time full EXO favourite. In a mafia based on playing cards system, Kai is a Heart and Kyungsoo the “leader” of Spades. Jongin betrays his group to join Kyung. Tao-centric but godDAMMIT THIS AUTHOR PREDICTED LOVE SHOT AND LEFT US ALL HANGING. I adore this, I really do.

Not Good People - Kyungsoo only wanted to prove his independence to himself and to his mafia boss of a brother, but he wasn't going to complain  when he got unexpected sex ed from a hot gang leader.

Ascending Rain - Yakuza!AU, psychological, angst(?), mystery, smut. You know what's hot? Japanese mafia heir tatted up Jongin and pristine looking genius sociopath Kyungsoo. You know what's even hotter? Both of them being in the darkest love-hate relationship in between murders and mind games. So much plot, so many details, great OCs, and occasional first person chapters. Awesome read, too bad it's unfinished.

spring snow - Character death, multiple ships. This is practically the modern shorter version of 48 Hours.Yixing helps Jongin find the man he left behind and watches a mafia slowly die out. It's heartbreakingly good.

Running Up That Hill - Recced before, but I can’t not mention this legend. A chaptered masterpiece with suspenseful angst, awesome smut, intricate detailed plot, ot12 characters, side XiuHan, top!soo and violence. No matter what I do there is no way I can express how unbelievably addicting this fic is. Just read it, it should be a fandom classic by now. 

Cypher - OT12, ongoing.

smoke - Oneshot. Kyungsoo as the heir to a security firm discovers that his dad is caught in mafia business. Later, as a president, he is faced with the same pressure from Kim Kai, the heavy smoker mob leader himself..

safe like springtime - only two chapters so far, with Jongin being bratty son-of-a-mobster teenager!Kyungsoo’s confused bodyguard.

4x4 (and away we go) - Twoshot, smut, tw. The Kim family is indepted to the famous stoic mafia leader, Do Kyungsoo, and Jongin finds himself obliged to pay back.  Uhm, unsettling

Subterfuge - Oneshot, smoking. Kyungsoo’s a mafia leader, and Jongin a heavy smoker barman. Again, a subtle piece that leaves you wanting more. (a.k.a I’m really whipped for kaisoo and mafia!au)

bang and burn - Incomplete, 4 chapters, pretty heavy drug use, smut and very mild angst. Jongin doesn’t understand what his retired sniper ex did to be worth a million dollars, but dead. He also didn’t understand how in ten years, his pancakes and skin are just as delicious. Indigo’s (a.k.a my favourite active author) freaky shot at assassins. Pretty damn awesome. 

in their blood and from the gutter - Oneshot, angst, smut, side BaekXing and murders. Kyungsoo is an associate of the biggest mafia ruling the city. He’s constantly in danger but one assignment officially makes him a dead man. An intense great read ; I’m not a fan of open endings but holy damn, I loved it.

and your sexy enemies closer - SeKaiSoo, based on the Love Shot MV, with bits of crack and uhm, a weird fingering scene. It was pretty good and unsettling because my first KaiSoo+someone fic.

I really don’t wanna let this rec go, but here, the latest pure mafia!AU rec. You can also (re)check other awesome fics here for extra action. And, well, long live KaiSoo, with lots of guns and rainbows.

- Admin Cookie

@icequeenpalace​ (Hey lovely reader! I am so so sorry for deleting your ask. I didn’t notice and our hero admin J in here told me about it. I hope you still know that it is for you too that this list has been formed and that I am sorry for the accident. PLEASE ENJOY ANYWAY AND FORGIVE A SMITTEN SOUL.)

[kaisooficrec]

I am a bookworm and movie lover! Therefore, I need me some new fics based on classic books (or modern doesn't matter) and romantic movies, can you help me please?

We are too!! Here are some and we added a mixture of new and maybe-not-so-new but they haven’t been recced before ^^

Gnome is where the heart is by vavole (Harry Potter) - this is very very veeery sweet and adorable! hp fans but also non-fans (like some of the admins) will enjoy it so much! jongin has his garden ruined by the gnomes so he calls a professional who not only gets the gnomes but his heart too ;)

You know you love me by almokyungg (Gossip Girl): every gossip girl lover should read this! of course its the push and pull relationship like blair and chuck (aka kaisoo) and a lot of feels!

Wild Flowers Worth Knowing by Velvet Kaisoo, twilight inspo ;)

Lawyer up (my ass) by at1stsoo: (loosely based on Suits)  hilarious! It has so much law jargon, the author is also really good so everything feels natural and well built + Sequel: Legally Kaisoo

you look like a movie, you sound like a song - to all the boys i’ve loved before inspiration! also pure 71k! there’s a very nice description of the cultural differences they characters experience and compare it to the sk and us, tbh so good!

Kissed by Fire - ChanBaek centric, side KaiSoo, based off of Game of Thrones. Pretty damn good.

I Think I'm In A Tragedy - based on a movie Stranger than fiction.it’s a bit more kyungsoo-centric, who works at a shelter with animals. this is also a very good story

Fix Me - 100 days my prince with frankenstein twist! royalty au where jongin saves a stranger and then discovers there’s more to him than what it seems!

No Tomorrow - titanic au and historical au. french supermodel jongin wants to start a new career in new york as well as escape his abusive manager and meets a charming boy kyungsoo

Shipwrecked - also titanic au!  A film history assignment on the movie Titanic has Kyungsoo all stressed out during his first experience on a major film set– especially when he finds himself waking up to the sound of the ocean, a starry sky moving above him and a man that looks a lot like actor Kim Jongin running past him.

BITE - twilight inspo where kyungsoo is a vampire and jongin a werewolf and they’re soulmates ejfjjsdf

Spice Up my Party - the mortal instruments au inspired. jongin is a shy shadowhunter and kyungsoo a confident warlock who doesn’t give up easily and keeps pursuing jongin. no smut, very cute and leading soo unf

Monggu’s Purpose - it’s inspired by a book called A dog’s purpose. the pov is told through jongin’s puppy’s eyes....so beautiful :’((

paper cuts - so it’s inspired by the movie called You’ve got the mail au. very romantic and beautiful!

Everlasting Light - inspired by Ethernal sunshine of the spotless mind!!!!! that’s def a must-read in itself :o

We’ve also recced many books and movie inspired stories here (or click on the hastag below) so don’t forget to check them out ^^

- KFR Admins

[kaisooficrec]

Hi! Firstly, I would like to thank you guys for your hardwork :) So, do you know any fics where kaisoo used to be close when they were kids but they grew apart as they got older coz of conflicts/misunderstanding/etc and then they reconciled? I hope you get what I meant. Thanks in advance!

Hello hello hello, sparkly Anon!!! Here are some fics where they used to be bffs but grew apart due to some sort of conflict~ All the fics have them get back together in the end tho, don’t you worry your little heart ♡

A Table For Two - CUZ WHAT BETTER WAY TO START THIS LIST THAN WITH ONE OF CURRYRAMYEON SENPAI’S FINEST??? Country boys!KaiSoo were hella good friends until Soo moves to the city and Jongin doesn’t want him to come back cuz he thinks Soo’s better off doing bigger and better things there.

Ain’t no fun -  KaiSoo has been besties since kindergarten but then they started to drift apart as they grow up, they’re ~forced~ to interact again when their mothers become friends.

Broken Heart Beats (How Long ‘Til We Call This Love) - Band!AU where after high school Jongin cuts all ties with Soo but then years later they meet again when Kyungsoo joins his band.

Change - KaiSoo used to be really close friends to a point where people think they were in a relationship but then Soo leaves their home town.

I’m Gonna Make You Love Me (I Love You) - Jongin’s been crushing on his bff Soo since they were kids but then they separated and when they meet again he finds out that Soo needs a kidney transplant to live (damn, this one’s the most dramatic one of all the recs I think).

i’m home (waiting for you) - Kids!KaiSoo were bffs in an orphanage and when Jongin gets adopted he tries to look for Soo, but when he found Soo in college Soo’s not the same person he once knew…

Mine - This one’s a lil on the creepy side where Jongin and Soo were bffs but then Jongin started becoming really possessive to a point where it traumatised Soo, and then craycray!Jongin leaves but reappears years later as a transfer student in Soo’s high school.

my whole universe (is you) - KaiSoo are childhood friends but as they get older Soo’s afraid he’s bringing Jongin down so they start to drift apart.

Play of Destiny - KaiSoo has been bffs since they were born until Jongin decided to leave to pursue his dream as a dancer and Soo gets left behind.

say you’ll remember me - Prince!Jongin and maid!Soo used to be besties until Soo runs away.

where the stars shine brightest - Soo left his bff Jongin in high school but then they become roommates years later.

Why Now? - KaiSoo were #brosforlife in high school until Soo confessed his feelings to Jongin and got rejected, they meet again when they got into the same entertainment company and now it’s Jongin who’s interested in Soo but Soo’s still kinda bitter.

I hope these satisfy your request, my sweet Anonnie!!! Enjoy reading and give the writers some love too ehehehehe! Much love - Admin W ♡

[kaisooficrec]

New soulmate!au?

*google search voice* soulmates? did you mean kaisoo? ;)

soulmate au (no specific trope): 

goodbye to a world - from fko! spirited away!au sign me tf up + the writing is gorgeous

save your first and last for me - kaisoo both lose their soulmates and think it’s the end 

dream mates - they meet in their dreams (kyungsoo is also a violinist like damn can you imagine this tho)

in my dreams there is you - similar to the one above except kyungsoo is an actor :’)

ardor - jongin expected his soulmate to be someone he actually had chemistry with, turns out that’s a no (jongin pls)

shake my heart - mama!au where your powers get transferred to your soulmate for a day 

soulmates - greek mythology! au, kyungsoo has to make a choice between being immortal or being with his soulmate

alpha and omega - abo verse soulmates 

kismet - the cutest fluff oneshot omg 

you were a kindness - from nodtt! this is really super frikkin cute especially kaisoo’s relationship omg i love this so much + sleepy jongo :

soulmate au drabbles - this is really good for your… soul ;)

The Rest of Mine - they broke up once but make up when they go on a trip to Russia. jongin is a photographer, soo is an editor

All Hallows’ Meet - 10kfrp’s iconic piece that made us cri :’) paranormal au + halloween au

red string of fate:

something up fate’s sleeve - from fko! jongin can see the thin red line connecting soulmates together and is alarmed to find out that his soulmate is jerk/ actor kyungsoo 

what we find - this killed me :

Drawn To You (Please Catch me)

String Theory -  kyungsoo can see strings radiated from everyone in all sorts of colors that have various meanings then he notices one between him and his bff jongin. both like each other but have problems to confess!

countdown/device that alerts you to your soulmate/ name or timer on your wrist:

pain et armour - jongin is so so adorable in this omg with his soulmate linker :’) and kyungsoo (who is older screams) is a little bit of a jerk but they work it out!

that’s where my love goes - from exofreelove! countdown timers and neighbours!kaisoo

spontaneous - timer on your wrist indicates when you meet your soulmate. kyungsoo literally crashes into his

42 apart - you have your soulmate’s name written on your wrist… jongin has already met 42 ‘do kyungsoo’s :’)

will you still love me (in spite of my name) - the same as above, only it’s kyungsoo who has met many jongins (in this case, 4 not 42)

inked - same as above but kyungsoo decides to tattoo a name himself! 

jongin - !!!!!!!!!! the first word your soulmate says to you will be your name but… :’o

i got you mate! - from fko! nightescapade again hehe with wolf jongin and fairy kyungsoo :> 

fervour - kyungsoo has not one, but two names on his wrist (warning/spoiler: jongkaisoo)

countdown to your heart - kyungsoo takes jongin to meet his soulmate

7:49:43 - tattoo of your soulmate’s name which becomes more opaque as you get closer to your other half

on my heart (just like a tattoo) - from nodtt! jongin gets his soulmate tattoo removed… things don’t go as planned

colour blind until you meet your soulmate:

color blind - everyone in the world is colour*blind (smh us english (jkjk)) until they meet their soulmate  

colors - from fko! slightly angsty, but lots of love :’)

your soulmeme, 

admin i (°◡°♡).:｡