#i love jordan and will advertise her until i'm dead

[minkkumaz]

everyone read jordans new insert for her tswift + 8turn series!! she's been working rlly hard on it for awhile so don't be shy and blaze it for the small price of $10!! (^_^)

sweet nothing

synopsis — never in a million years would you imagine letting kyungmin go, even if you needed nothing more than to do just that.

pairing — cho kyungmin x gn!reader

genre — angst, fluff(?)

warnings — established relationship, mentions of food/eating

word count — 1.8k

notes — this fic is inspired by sweet nothing by taylor swift ! writing this fic made me so sad, i hope u guys like this twisted meaning of sweet nothing !

THE ERAS SERIES

the early-morning sun beamed through your kitchen window, casting a warm glow on everything in its path. a messy pattern of light and dark covered the room, shifting ever so slightly as the sun rose. specks of dust played a game of hide and seek as they peeked in and out of the shadows, dancing through the illumination.

the pad of your finger languidly circled the rim of your mug, the light circling with it. the coffee inside it was untouched, filled up nearly to the brim as it’d been when you first poured it. as it sat, the steam rising onto your skin gradually thinned, but it condensed on your hand all the same.

the droplets puddling on your palm dripped back down into the coffee, letting the cycle repeat. again, the steam rose, then condensed, then fell; until one small droplet went astray, slipping down the side of the mug.

your eyes followed the falling bead, watching as it ran its path. it lost its size as it went, water being left in its tracks. it trailed down until it inevitably couldn’t anymore, losing its fuel. it stopped on top of a tiny print of a daisy; one of the many patterned on the mug.

kyungmin had gifted the mug to you long ago, claiming the flowers reminded him of you. you couldn’t remember when it was, nor could you remember what it was for. if it’d been for an anniversary, a holiday, or a surprise gift was a mystery to you, but you appreciated the sentiment regardless.

you always valued his thoughtfulness, but you could feel the nook it occupied in your heart grow smaller and smaller over time. now, you could only recognize it as kyungmin just being kyungmin, but you still cherished him all the same, and that was enough.

“good morning,” kyungmin’s voice suddenly filled your ears, snapping you out of your zoned-out daze.

when you looked up, he was stood at your side, a drowsy smile on his face. he was positioned in front of the sun, and the light framed his figure perfectly. it provided a visual of the invisible glow he always radiated, even at his lowest.

“morning,” you greeted, the corners of your mouth curving up slightly. you dropped your hand off the mug and onto the table, and kyungmin shifted his gaze to look.

“are you alright, y/n?” kyungmin’s expression changed, eyebrows furrowing and lips lightly pressing together. “you haven’t touched your coffee.”

to no surprise, he didn’t fail to pick up on anything off with your behavior. how easy it was for him to see right through you was admirable, but sometimes, it felt suffocating.

“yeah, i’m fine,” you emptily assured. you weren’t sure of how you really felt anymore; your days began to blur, and they felt all too fast and all too slow at the same time. “just sleepy.”

“well, the coffee should fix that,” kyungmin teased, his smile growing again. he always looked at you like you were bigger than the whole sky, and you hoped you still looked at him the same way. “i’ll make you something to eat with that, okay?”

your tired eyes wandered off of kyungmin, spotting something far behind him. on the counter was a small, potted plant, and next to it was a pebble; tiny as a firefly. almost forgotten, you vaguely remembered it as a souvenir kyungmin picked up on your last trip together; you wondered if it ever missed its home sometimes.

“y/n?” kyungmin called out, causing your gaze to fix on him again. “did you hear me?”

naturally, you shook your head. “sorry, kyung. what’d you say?”

“i’ll make you something to eat with your coffee,” kyungmin repeated, his voice as kind as ever. his patience rarely ran thin with you, and you never knew how. “okay?”

you nodded your head, taking in a deep, unsteady breath. “thank you.”

as kyungmin looked at you, he almost looked hurt. his wide smile turned into a slight frown, and his eyes held more sorrow than drowsiness. you knew he was just worried, but something in you felt guilty.

“are you sure you’re alright?” kyungmin questioned again, gently placing his hand on your shoulder. his thumb rubbed the surface of your shirt, and you released a held breath at the feeling. “you know you can talk to me.”

“i’m sure,” you weakly reassured, putting on a smile. you covered his hand with yours, rubbing your thumb over his skin in the same way he did.

“okay,” kyungmin spoke softly, letting a smile play on his lips again. he leaned down to your level, placing a kiss on your temple.

you almost couldn’t feel anything when his lips touched your skin. all that there was was the feeling of a slight graze, and the pebble-sized flutter that fizzed inside of your stomach. your fingers had just barely curled up, and your shoulders had just barely slumped over.

“i’ll make you something now,” kyungmin repeated, the happiness in his voice restoring. your hand idly slipped off of his as he lifted it off of your shoulder, turning away from you to wander to the fridge.

when he opened the door, he slightly leaned back to give himself space. you felt yourself sink further into your seat, letting yourself smile faintly as you watched him look through each shelf and compartment.

he was still as fresh as a daisy, but you knew that his love had withered. his love no longer meant to you what it’d meant before, and every display of it drained every butterfly in your stomach one by one. you knew that his adoration for you grew stronger every day, but you could only feel your fondness of it shrink.

a little part inside of you said that the end of your life with kyungmin was coming, but you could never see yourself believing that. you knew that you’d always find yourself running home to his sweet nothings, even if they did nothing for you anymore. you’d take all of the internal pushing and shoving just for him.

you listened to his quiet humming mix with the sounds of the kitchen. the closing of cabinets, the clanking of plates, and the shuffling of his feet all came together to frame his voice, creating a messy melody. all of it sounded horribly wrong, but kyungmin made it right; he always did.

you didn’t know when or why you went wrong. one day, a switch just flipped, and everything flipped with it. the only thing that stayed the same was what kyungmin himself was to you; he was still your light at the end of the tunnel, even if he himself was the tunnel.

“voila! i made pancakes,” kyungmin excitedly walked over to you, plates in his hands. he gently set a plate in front of you, and the scent immediately overtook your senses.

“they smell good,” you stated, pulling your mug and plate closer as you watched kyungmin sit down across from you.

once he sat, he tilted his head at you with his dimples on full display. he was radiant; nearly more blinding than the risen sun. it only beamed on a small portion of his body, but he still gave himself his own glow. even at your worst, there wasn’t nearly enough of your own darkness to shield you from him.

his expression gradually fell, but everything he held in his eyes was worth more than the warmth of a thousand suns. he had more than enough love inside of him for the both of you combined, yet you didn’t have nearly enough.

“i love you,” kyungmin professed, his voice overflowing with the emotion. there was never a time where it felt like he didn’t mean it.

you hesitated before speaking, blinking away from kyungmin. “i love you, too.”

you didn’t mean it in the same way you should’ve. it sounded frighteningly empty, and you knew that there was a lost piece of your love that you’d never get back. it’d ran its course, and slowly depleted as it went; inevitably becoming a puddle of nothing.

“this tastes really good,” kyungmin mumbled.

you knew that you should be doing more. you knew that he deserved galaxies more than the truth that you hid from him, but you couldn’t let him go; you were selfish. never in a million years could you ever imagine letting him go, even if both you and him needed nothing more than just that.

“are you gonna eat?” kyungmin questioned.

only to him could you admit that you were too soft for everything that you were feeling, but you couldn’t. breaking both his heart and your own was something you couldn’t handle, and just the thought of losing him crushed you. the weight of it all was too heavy, and it was much too big; bigger than the whole sky.

“y/n?” kyungmin called.

you flinched, immediately bringing your attention back to him. “god, i’m sorry, kyungmin.”

he could only give you a sympathetic smile, picking up another piece of the pancake with his fork. “it’s really good, so you should try it. maybe you can dip it in your coffee.”

your ears barely picked up kyungmin’s giggle as you lowered your gaze down to your drink, sitting as still as it was. every unconsumed drop of caffeine was right where you’d left it, lowering in temperature as the minutes passed. there wasn’t any steam rising out of the liquid anymore, and when you went to feel the mug, all of its heat was lost.

you shifted your eyes back up to kyungmin, and you found that all of the warmth was held by him instead. even with all of the waves of heat he radiated, they didn’t quite reach you. you still felt cold; as cold as your coffee.

you would never be the same again, and you knew that. you’d never love kyungmin as purely as you did before, and you’d never forget that. it’d always be engraved in the back of your mind; taunting you with your buried thoughts. all that he ever wanted from you was sweet nothing, but you your truth was far from it.

even at his purest, you still couldn’t feel for him in the way he felt for you. masked behind the love in his eyes was nothing; everything he felt for you was wholly surfaced. there wasn’t anything he had to hide, and his angelic smile was there to prove it. he could never be anything short of sweet, yet still, all you could give him was nothing.

THE ERAS SERIES

© woonhakist 2023