#i love it when the fool is shitty and mean its one of his most endearing qualities

[wobubling]

An observation

[glamourscat]

I read ur tim headcanons and omg yessss pls do a one shot for tim trying to flirt and being adorably awkward!! 🙏🙏🙏

it came out more romantic than i intended to. i hope you still enjoy this loverboy Tim nonetheless! :)

while i was writing i listened to this playlist, also this is not proofread :(

Every Breath You Take | Tim Drake x reader

Tim was in love, but that would be an understatement. He was utterly and foolishly in love with you. And right now he was sure he was doing a poor job in hiding his feelings. You were in his new apartment. For someone who is a nepobaby times two, the apartment wasn’t anything “special”. If anything, it was modest at best. Not that there's anything wrong with modest. 

In fact, it felt right. It was smaller than the estate he grew up in or Bruce’s manor, but it just fit, you know? He had barely unpacked, the boxes all around the place scattered and yet it felt like home. Because of you. You, who decided to stay over for the past two days sleeping over on the shitty couch just to keep him company. Because Tim could have faked it all he wanted, but he was not one for silence nor loneliness. Having you so close felt right. It felt like home. 

And right now, he truly was doing a poor job in hiding his feelings. You two were sitting on his bed, he was straddling your lap as you did his makeup. Why? Why not? No reasons in particular. You two just had time to waste and an extra excuse to be together. The room was quiet with the exception of the cars passing on the street every so often and the soft, quiet music he was playing in the background on his laptop. There was not a word from you nor him though, which is making him more agitated. 

His mind is going so fast, trying to decode if you have caught on the fact he has stared at your lips for the 10th time alone in those five minutes. Or the fact he was fidgeting more than usual or even how his breathing was picking up each time slightly more when you got closer to him. Your breath was hot, the minty scent of the mint you ate earlier lingering between you two as your eyes were so focused on his face. He almost felt shy under your intense gaze, the way your eyes were so accurately looking and sculpting him like the finest artwork. 

The brush you were holding gently caresses shades of sparkling pink on his eyelids while your tongue slightly pokes out of your lips in concentration. So kiss me, pretty little bird. His heartbeat sped up and before he could control it, his mouth opened to let out the most foolish nonsense he has ever let out.

“You do know– once a penguin chooses its mate it’s pretty much for life?” why in the fuck did his mouth even say..

“Yeah? I did not know that actually.” you say, your lips curling in a smile as a little laugh leaves your mouth. So sweet.

“Yeah– I mean, it’s pretty cute. Like, maybe you know, we should do like them. Like the penguins I mean.” he says out before he can register what he had just let out. For the love of– he truly was an idiot at times. 

You stayed quiet. Maybe choosing if to ignore what came out of his mouth, laugh or run away. Maybe all three. And he wouldn’t have blamed you if you chose the latter. 

“Tim?” your voice is quiet, interrogative almost.

“Yes?” god he hated how quiet and pathetic he sounded.

“Are– you saying what i mean you’re…” you stop your sentence in half, looking at him with your mouth slightly apart. “I… I am sorry” you muttered quickly.

“Sorry for w–” but his words died on his tongue as your lips touched his. An involuntary moan left his lips at the sensation. He pushes more of his weight on you, making your back touch the mattress as his hands find your cheeks to deepen the kiss. Gentle yet such a hungry kiss.

“You– you’re shit at flirting” your words came out in a pant, your smile soft and teasing, as a small chuckle left your lips. Lips that were still touching his, despite being separated to catch some air.

“I– oh just shut up” he says equally panting, grinning as a fool, as his lips touched yours again and again and again.

And hopefully, for the rest of eternity too.

© GLAMOURSCAT (all rights reserved. do not share, modify, translate and re-upload my work outside of tumblr)

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi Ro! I know I'm late to this party, but can I get B and F for Steve?

Thank you! 💜

Never too late, darling! This is tumblr, not a job 😁

This one got away with me. It got weirdly sappy for the categories asked, but I went with general Steve from no particular universe here, plus a nondescript part of the timeline or beyond, could even kinda be AU--if you squint--except Steve is definitely famous in some capacity and was small when young. (I just think he happens to look very cuff-able in this gif so we roll with it.)

These dirty asks from this game are aptly titled, so MINORS DNI.

B - Bondage

He can't exactly be tied up, not by anything commercially available, but Steve surprisingly likes the chance to sit still, take a backseat, and enjoy experiencing your enjoyment. He used to be so small. He assumed he'd never have the power he does now.

The restraints, as useless as they are, work as a calming tool to shut off his brain for a while. He's not responsible for anything. That's nice. Very freeing. The act of binding him is in itself roleplay; he's playing small and weak.

He's noticed something else, too.

Over the weeks and months you two have repeated this ritual of tying him up, and you both understand just how much it doesn't remotely hurt him, you've grown...more aggressive with the bonds. It's only when you're tying them--never an ounce of it in anything that follows--but he watches and realizes that you relieve frustration by pulling harder, knotting tighter, heaving around until their just so.

At this point, since Steve can do nothing else, he loves to see it. He's heard short and vague accounts from you, of shitty behavior, of innuendo, of back-handed compliments about how you do so well even with Steve. How his reputation must boost you. How you don't have to work so hard or be good because he'll carry you. How your accomplishments are all tied to him somehow.

It's not true, but they say it. They mean it. Steve can do nothing but let you physically yoke him down in your life, even for a few minutes. The weight it seems to lift from your shoulders is worth any momentary sting he might feel.

No. Steve doesn't mind the bonds at all. He even hates that you can't restrain him for real. He wishes he could give you that. Then people might see that you're just that powerful and you've always been that strong. He had nothing to do with it.

Okay, one sec, let me pull myself together here. YIKES.

IT BECAME ITS OWN FIC! [Entwined]

F - Food Play

[Fools Rush In Steve a.k.a. Sketch is notoriously anti-crumbs-in-the-bed, so he is 1000% not a part of this convo. Sorry, bub.]

YUP. Steve loves to feed you. It's a care thing. He always wants your opinion of all the food on the table, so you have to try everything. Here! Try this. The fork is already by your lips and he's smiling eagerly.

In the bedroom? Oh yes, he is very fond of licking sweet things off you and having them licked off him. It's one of the things that seems to tickle Steve the most--body and soul--and it's so playful. He even gets to lean into having a fast metabolism and needing calories after his workouts. If he drizzles honey or chocolate syrup on you, or hilariously fizzes too much whipped cream out of the canister he has not gotten the hang of yet, then that's a snack and a half. That's multitasking. That's just good time management, ya know?

Savory stuff is for meals and the table though. There's none of that that gets played with during sex. He's never outright said that's a rule, but it seems obvious when there's never been a crossover event.

Super random shout out to Steve having a bit of a thing for champagne and licking it off your neck after he deliberately splashes or pours it there. The bubbles tickle like hell and the cold is so shocking, but whatever, he loves it.

🙄

Thank you for asking!

Ack, I can feel in my bones that the bondage one might end up as a one shot. I am in so much trouble.

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello again! ❤️✨ I just realised I missed adding the prompts in my previous request, I’m so sorry 😭

Could you please do the angst alphabet for eyeless Jack for the following prompts: E H Z

Alsoooo just so you’re aware, I love reading all your work related to ej and I’m super grateful your blog exists.

E H Z w/ Eyeless Jack (angst alphabet)

I need to write more angst alphabet stuff, feels like it hardly gets requested hmmm

Prompts: Ex, heal, zestless

Notes: reader is gn, let admin cook (we are coding ej to be depressed/actively hcing him as such. ie we REALLY lean into the self isolation side of things), at least sprinkle of good endings though hooray, swapped to writing on mobile midway through

CWs: mentions of death and gore in the context of how jack feeds, mentioned murder and stalking, mentions of abusive ex partners

HEAL

EX

He's not bothered by your exs interacting with you- in most cases at least. The two of you had already ended things and you've moved on with jack, so why does he need to worry? If you give him a reason to he's simply not going to waste his time with you. End of story. He's not going to entertain any mind games

That being said, if your ex is not.. the best person... he's definitely going to be on high alert around you- even if you fall for any manipulation from their part. He sees right through their bullshit and he's going to snap you back to reality... though the downside is, his bluntness and the general callousness of his tone (which he doesn't really mean-- it's just how he sounds!) can lead to you potentially not heeding his warnings.

The moment you're in danger he's going springing into action- before he was simply staying to the side and trying to convince you something was wrong. But now he's physically either trying to keep you away from them, or interacting with them himself to secure you/your safety. This can range from inflicting fear via stalking them in the night or outright getting rid of them

change is not linear but he makes it clear that youre free to call him out when he reverts back to the habits that lead to your argument in the first place. and he takes it with grace, he did something wrong and hes going to do what he can to make amends. he would expect you to do the same if the roles were reversed- though he has a habit of not speaking up when something bothers him unless its something major

ZESTLESS

despite what zestless says, as long as its not breakup worthy, hes going to be very blunt in approaching you about things once emotions are calmed down. depending on the context he may not apologize for his stance, but will apologize for hurting you. sometimes your safety can not be compromised.

He tries his best to enter the next conversation with you post argument with an open mind and intent to work things out in both of your favors, as well as make it clear that he didn't mean to hurt you and that he's willing to work with you

it was only a matter of time before you fell out of love with him. even before it started he always wondered what you saw in him- and how you managed to squeeze past the horror that is his diet. one that he cannot control and resents himself for, mind you

and hes no fool, when he notices hes going to act on it. unfortunately, hes not the best at communicating the more... vulnerable sides of things. that is to say hes going to start avoiding you. if you wont sever yourself from him then hes going to do it himself. hes good at evading and hiding, too, so the chances of getting your hands on him to talk it through is... not very high...

is it a little shitty to just cut things off when you fall out of love? yes. but he doesnt know how else to go about things in a way that doesnt sour things more, and he finds stress makes the more... flesh craving innerworkings of him... more prominent...

he doesnt blame you, though. circling back to the first point he always had a voice in the back of his head telling him that it was all temporary and that it wasnt going to work out. hes already made his peace with that, as well as the life hes generally going to lead until he finally loses his mind

[not-goldy]

Tkk have zero respect for Jk. Today, tkk still lying saying Jikook seperated after 5 weeks or Jk wanted to join Tae, but can't cause of tattoos, even tho he never said any of that & Jimin was a last resort, even tho Jk could've enlisted alone. Mad they didn't get the buddy system for their favs. My question tho, why is it Jk always doing all the sacrificing in their minds? Its Jk wanted to be with his baby, but couldn't. You don't hear them say Tae could've enlisted with Jk instead, if tattoos were an issue tho. Do you? Does this mean Tae doesn't love JK as much as Jk loves Tae, since Tae didn't sacrifice what he wanted to do, to be with Jk? You don't hear them saying poor Jk, when all tae's pictures of him and jennie hit the web or Tae was vacationing with her or walking with her holding her hand in Paris and how Tae spent more time in Paris with Jennie, then he did with Jk on that friend ski trip. Do you? Its always Jk either being the shitty BF emotionally abusing Tae & even physically cause they try to say Jk yanks Tae away from people, etc or its Jk is the reason Taekook is not Taekooking or Its his tattoos, he couldn't go, but he wanted too LIE. Its them saying Tae tried to tell us for months Jk is his lover, but Jk is off doing fanservice with others and hurting Tae instead. The flip flopping narratives & victim complex throw on Tae is disturbing. Its okay for Tae to fuck Jennie for 2 years, hold her hand in Paris, take intimate pics in her bed, take couple selfies with her in his house wearing matching clothes, follow her on IG, lounge in bed with Wooga and kiss on them and go off with them and hang on randoms in paris & say he likes Jimin the most over Jk and move another man into his home who is not Jk. See all of that is okay in their minds and yet they still manage to make Jk the abuser treating tae like shit, cause how dare he enlist with another man, hang out with his 97 line, its all fanservice, he doesn't treat tae right.

They don't know what narrative they want to run with, but they know whatever it is, Tae has to be the main character. They are all tae solos and want him to be the main character no matter what. Even if it means painting him as a helpless abused victim by the most popular idol on one hand & on the other, the one Jk has to make sacrifices for, but never the other way around. Tae can treat JK like garbage, cause its deserved for all his years doing fanservice with Jimin. They really hate Jk and they hate him more now since Chapter 2, cause he didn't play along with what Tae was doing. Plain and simple, but he's the most popular idol and that pairs well with more attention on Tae when it comes to trending, so they keep him around for that. Its not Taekook they like. Its the ship being big that they like and the attention they get from it and the bigger the ship, the more attention for Tae and that is what matters. That's what it always been about it. Funny thing is though, Tae hates these fools and keeps shitting on their fantasies on purpose and they keep letting him. He gives a little, then snatches their fucking scalps for them. Deserved too.

That's an understatement I don't know a single Tuktukkers who likes Jungkook for real

In fact he has no agency no autonomy where they are concerned everything he does is coerced, against his will there's no free choice in their vocabulary

To think some of them are grown adults with this mindset is crazy

Jungkook has been caught sneaking Jimin into his hotel room by hybe hidden cameras and nooooo Jimin is the one to blame for it. Not the guy who sneaks into his room at 1am to lie on his bed doing absolutely nothing

They just can't admit the fact Jungkook IS NOT who and what they think he is nor what they want him to be in their ship realm.

And they HATE him for it too

They hate that man they ship with their favs

[tired-truffle]

Happy Meal

An AlistairxWarden fic

Word Count: 2.5k

One-Shot

Summary: Alistair and Tabris go to McDonald's post-sex (A mild bit of smut at the beginning)

Inspired by all that lovely fanart of characters going to a fast food restaurant after sex - one is exhausted and covered in hickeys and the other is grinning for the camera

This fic idea wrapped its hand around my neck and shook until the writing fell out - I hope you enjoy

Masterlist

Soft, muscular thighs bracketed his head, Kal’s wet cunt grinding against his face, and Alistair couldn’t be happier. Her brows furrowed, her lips pressed tight together as she chased her…sixth climax of the evening. At least, he was pretty sure it had been six. He lost count somewhere between her needy whimpers as she clenched around him and her hot breath ghosting along his cock before she took him in her mouth. It had taken everything in him not to thrust into her throat - out of concern for choking her, even though she insisted she could take it, but mainly to keep himself from busting immediately. 

Two years, they’d been together, and they’d both been relatively young when they first met - and still were if his co-worker Wynne had anything to say about it. At twenty, Alistair may have been on the older side to still be a virgin in the eyes of most of his friends and society at large, but what could he say? He held form to the values instilled in him since childhood. Raised with traditional beliefs about love, he had always envisioned something special for his first time. Kallian Tabris was indeed a woman worth waiting for.

He’d quite literally tripped over his own two feet, an ungraceful stumble that nearly sent him sprawling face-first to the floor, the moment he caught sight of her in the grocery store. She’d been glaring at two different bags of trail mix, as if they were responsible for some grave injustice against her loved ones and in his rush to approach her and inquire further, he’d forgotten to ensure that his feet lifted high enough off the ground that they didn’t get caught on the tile flooring. Luckily, thanks to his remarkable talent to make anything look effortlessly awkward, he managed to catch himself on a shelf, knocking over some cereal boxes and sending them tumbling noisily to the ground. He’d leaned against that shelf like he’d meant to do that, while she’d startled and jumped, her head snapping towards him with wide eyes and the bags of trail mix clenched tight in her hands. Hand on his hip, he gave her a lopsided grin - as smooth as concrete. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to alarm you, I’m just nuts about trail mix.”

She’d blinked at him, her face blank, and he begged to the Maker to transport him to the cooking ware aisle so he could smash his face in with a cast iron pan. His one shot to talk to this gorgeous woman, and he’d blown it on a shitty trail mix pun. 

“I’ll, uh,” he pushed off the shelf, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’ll leave you to it.”

Just as he began to turn and head towards those pans calling his name, a low voice pulled him to a stop. 

“Which one would you choose?”

Alistair paused, frowning at her, unable to understand the question. Her pointed ears fluttered ever so slightly and his heart followed suit.

Seeing his confusion, she wiggled the bags still clutched in her slender hands. “Since you love trail mix so much, I thought you could help me choose.”

Oh…oh! Had his failed attempt to flirt actually worked? Surely she couldn’t find his puns and two left feet endearing. But he wasn’t fool enough to mess up the olive branch she’d extended. 

“I’d be honoured, my lady.” 

He’d laid it on thick, but by the time he’d left the store, a lopsided grin permanently plastered on his face and her number in his phone, he hadn’t cared how idiotic he’d looked. He’d gotten a second date - and years later he had the pleasure of licking her to completion as she cried his name, her chest heaving and her skin coated in a thin sheen of sweat. 

Body nearly limp, Kal rolled off of him, landing with a muffled thump on the bed, one leg thrown over his waist. Her eyes glazed over and she rested the back of her hand on her forehead. His pride got the better of him and a smirk canted at his lips as he propped himself up on one elbow to gaze adoringly at her.

Being a young virgin had come with some glaring drawbacks. An inability to last longer than thirty seconds and then promptly pass out, the worst of the bunch. By the Maker had that ever been embarrassing, and she’d been nothing but kind about it. He’d made sure to learn how to return the favour with his fingers at least - and he was quite the fast learner. But still, he’d wanted to fuck her as she deserved. And with time and dedication - and lots of mind blowing sex - he honed his skills, gradually building the stamina to sustain his pace without finishing while expertly stroking her clit, ensuring her climax before his own inevitable release.

Though it was still always a close call. Thank the gods his refractory period was quick. 

Kal - unable to form any coherent words - huffed at him, lightly smacking his chest. His grin grew wider, but before she could do more than press her kiss-swollen lips together, he drew her into his arms, nuzzling his face against her neck. 

She relaxed in his embrace, sighing her content and turning to snuggle even closer. The sounds of their even breathing filled the air along with the tinny hum of the furnace. As the sweat began to cool, and Kal’s small body began to shiver - though her exhaustion seemed to overshadow any discomfort - Alistair’s stomach rumbled loudly, interrupting their moment of peace. 

Kal giggled, placing her hand over his belly and a light kiss to his chest. 

“I’m all out of food. I was going to get groceries today until someone distracted me.”

“Do you want me to take it back?” 

Kal tilted her head to look up at him, confusion in the wrinkling of her nose. “Take what back? My orgasms? It’s a little too late for that.”

“You underestimate me, dear.” 

Her eyebrows raised, but Alistair was already in motion. He made an overdramatic sucking sound, trailing his open mouth down her neck and over the soft expanse of her chest, headed with singular focus for the prize between her legs. 

Kal let out a startled yelp, laughter bubbling up unbidden as she batted at him, wiggling to escape his grasp. He persisted, undeterred, reaching the delicate dusting of curls above her overworked centre. 

“Alistair!” she exclaimed with shrieking giggles as she leapt out of bed. He followed after her, hanging half of the bed as he attached his lips to her backside and sucked hard, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer. “You can’t suck it back out, you freak. Stop that!”

He released her at once, bracing himself on his arms to prevent his face from colliding with the wooden planks beneath him. Grinning up at her, he crawled forward with all the grace of a newborn giraffe, and wrapped himself around her legs - locking her in place. Though he wasn’t naive enough to think she couldn’t dislodge him if she wanted. She was stronger than she appeared and he’d learned that the hard way. He gripped her knees as he placed a kiss to where the back of her thighs met the curve of her ass. 

“Can we get McDonald’s?” 

Kal’s eye twitched - though not out of irritation, but rather from holding back a soft smile. She was just as much of a fool for him as he was for her. “I thought we’d just order in from that Thai place you like.”

“And miss the ambience of fluorescent lighting and beleaguered fast food workers? Perish the thought.” 

She rolled her eyes, but she hadn’t the strength to refuse him. His plan was working. He’d only had to resist the urge to come more than once - a difficult feat to achieve when buried inside the woman he loved more than anything.

“I’ll drive.” An offer to sweeten the deal, and Kal finally allowed her smile to flourish. 

“You sure your hunk of junk can make it that far?”

Alistair balked with mock offence, a tease he’d heard many times. His 2008 Toyota Corolla had seen better days, but it got him to where he needed to go - and he couldn’t afford anything new. Kal took the bus, so she had no leg to stand on. She claimed it was better for the environment, but the Sharpie written on the passenger side dash that said ‘Kal’s seat’ would argue otherwise.

“I’ll have you know that that ‘hunk of junk’, as you called it, got me here in one piece and is sturdier than it looks.”

“If you say so,” Kal acquiesced, and he unwrapped himself from her slightly trembling legs, standing and pulling her in for a languid kiss that had her knees weakening further. 

Maker, but he was a lucky man. 

Kal threw on a hoodie and sweats, tossing her tangled hair into a messy bun. Alistair wanted nothing more than to pull her onto his lap and hold her until they both fell asleep, but his stomach grumbled its disagreement and reluctantly, he dressed in his flannel and jeans. 

Wordlessly, they piled into his car, wrappers from previous visits to various fast food chains strewn about and his dirty gym clothes haphazardly tossed across the backseat. The broken grab handle, a casualty from when Alistair had shown Kal a new trick he’d learned with his tongue - courtesy of Zevran’s unsolicited advice, though he’d never admit that to his co-worker and self-proclaimed friend, lest he be subject to endless teasing - glared at him from the cup holder. A constant reminder that he needed to fix it or toss it. He was leaning towards the latter. Somehow, Zevran seemed to know. He’d cast a knowing glance at the grab handle when Alistair had driven him home after a particularly grueling day, only to become sidetracked by the sight of a forgotten condom wrapper on the floor. How Zevran had managed to skirt an HR complaint for as long as he had remained a mystery that Alistair couldn’t quite unravel. 

During the brief five-minute drive to the nearest McDonald’s, Kal's eyelids fluttered closed, her breathing becoming slow and rhythmic as she dozed. He made sure to avoid the potholes, unwilling to disturb her rest - she was a tentative sleeper at best. Where Alistair could fall asleep at a heavy metal concert, Kal would wake to the sound of a cricket. If all it took was a few hours of passionate love making to get her to the point of exhaustion where she’d sleep in the car of all places, he’d have to provide more often. He’d benefit from hitting the gym more if he was to have the stamina. 

She jolted awake as soon as he shifted the car into park, her eyes darting around in a daze of disoriented surprise. He half considered running around to open the door for her, but he was still puzzling out if she’d be offended or pleased by his chivalry when she reached for the handle and stepped out on her own. 

He met her outside, holding her hand as they walked across the dark, mostly empty parking lot. 

“What do you want?” He asked as he held the door for her. She shrugged, squinting as the bright lights woke her against her will. 

“Take a seat,” he gestured to the booth by the window. “I’ll order.” 

He knew what she liked, and she grunted her approval, sinking onto the hard seat. Alistair hated the updated McDonald’s look - where were all the bright colours and cushy booths of his youth? Sucked down the capitalist drain with the rest of his childhood favourites. 

Heading up to the till and the young teen at the counter who would rather be anywhere else, he placed their order, getting extra just in case Kal wasn’t feeling her usual. He waited patiently - well, not entirely, his foot tapping the ground as he watched intently for his number to come up on the screen. When it finally did, he took the heavily laden tray with a sincere thank you, and made a beeline to where he’d left her. 

Holding back his laughter took all his strength, even still, his chest shook with barely contained mirth. In the time he’d been gone, Kal had spread out over the booth, her legs splayed beneath the table and her arms resting over the back of the seat, her head leaned back and resting on the edge of the planter behind. Hickeys lined her throat and disappeared into her hoodie, her hair frizzier than he’d realized in the dim lighting of her apartment. She was the picture of a blissed out mess, and he had been the one to do it to her. His chest swelled with pride and he slid the tray onto the table, purposefully loud enough to rouse her. 

Sadly, there was no room for him to sit beside her, not with her legs spread out like that, so he settled for sitting across and leaning forward on his elbows to stare lovingly at her. 

Kal narrowed her eyes. He continued to stare. 

She reached for the drink nearest her, maintaining eye contact as she ripped the top off the straw sleeve, brought it to her lips and exhaled sharply, blowing the remaining cover directly into his face. 

He stuck out his bottom lip as he slapped it away. “What was that for?”

Kal scoffed, sticking her straw into her drink and taking a long sip. “You look like a puppy expecting a treat.”

Alistair didn’t see how that deserved a straw sleeve blown at him. “The only treat I need is your beautiful face.”

“Ugh,” she said intelligently, nudging his knee under the table with her foot. Though she tried to bury herself in the closest chicken burger, Alistair didn’t miss the blush that tinged her cheeks and covered the tips of her ears. 

His stomach could take no more teasing, and before he pushed her too far, he tucked into his fries, sure that she would steal them from him before he could finish. She glanced up at him as she chewed, and despite all her exhaustion, all her playful irritation, there was nothing short of pure adoration in her eyes. 

He’d thought before that there was no greater happiness than being between her thighs as he brought her to completion, surrounded by her weight and her breathy moans. But perhaps, that wasn’t entirely true - or at least, there was a different kind of happiness that came with the simple domesticity of eating McDonald’s with the love of his life after he’d fucked her near to oblivion. Love mixed with pride and warmth in his chest and settled around his ribs. They could be anywhere, doing any activity - fighting monsters from the depths of the earth or stuck listening to Zevran’s sordid tales of his latest conquest - and he’d be happy as long as Kal was at his side. 

Her leg hooked around his, and his fries were snatched from his loose grip, too distracted by his quiet revelation. He’d let her have them. For now. He’d get his revenge in other ways that were preferably much more pleasurable for both of them.

[artistic-dead-dreams]

This is just me sounding like a toxic fan about scream but holy moly I need to get it off my mind and out onto my blog nobody will see.......

I'm not excited for the 7th scream movie and I hope it has a dreadful end with the 7th adaptation. I'm tired of the reboots/ remakes/ continuation of a franchise that is getting to the point of not needing it any more, as the 7th movie is getting closer with its release date I just have a small thing I need to say about it in general.

Bringing back Stu matcher as Ghostface (you can't even say Matthew Lillard isn't going to play Stu cause cmon....why would they bring him back if not for Stu.) is going to...idk be bleak most likely?? I don't understand why in the hell they thought bringing him back would be good?? It's fucking idiotic the 3rd and 6th movie confirmed he is DEAD NOT ALIVE HIDING SOMEWHERE. I'm sorry am I the only one who wants Stu to be dead??? I want HIM DEAD

Okay okay to make it clearerrrrr

WHY BRING STU BACK IF BILLY LOOMIS'S DAUGHTER ISN'T EVEN IN THE FUCKING MOVIE. WASTE OF POTENTIAL IN AN ASTRONOMICAL WAY. Yes I know Melissa Barrera was unfairly fired, that's another reason the movie is being produced by a different group I don't know what they are called tho..and from what I heard they are very racist, and I don't care what anyone says firing her just because she said the Israeli government is committing war crimes and a genocide on Gaza and Palestinians is DUMB DUMB DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM.

Now they think making a 7th with no contribution to the last two scream movies is gonna be good?? What are these people cooking meth?? Black tar meth?? Because I'm sorry if I were to bring in the fact Billy loomis had a daughter (that of course, he didn't know about..I think?) I would think "Hell wow this will be great for Stu to interact with when he appears in the 7th fucking scream movie!...oh we fired the biological daughter and the supporting actress dropped out as well?? Oh boy...guess we will still have Stu come in to go terrorize.....married mother Sydney...wow because that's so much better." PLUS SYDNEY WASNT EVEN IN THE 6TH?? KIRBY WAS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON OF THOSE TWO DUMBASS GHOSTFACE FROM THE FOU-oekwke I'm getting angry HULKING OUT

FOOLS YOU FOOLS holy hell just because Stu is one of THE MOST POPULAR GHOSTFACES DOESNT MEAN HE SHOULD BE COMING BACK. it's gonna ruin the charm of his character. Oh my gee oh my gee I just don't get it?? Maybe cause I'm not coked out of my fucking mind in Hollywood and think bringing back the good ol days will help with views ....maybe I'm just not that guy...maybe I'm the only one freaking out about this. 😧

I wasn't even planning on watching the movie since the 6th one came out yadda yadda yadda then when they accounted Radio silence isn't making the 7th movie yadda yadda yadda Melissa got fired and then Jenna Ortega dropped out. That's when i finally realized the scream franchise is getting plunged into the ground 6 feet under with a shitty mold infested plumber and when i thought it wasn't gonna get worse...they announce Matthew Lillard is coming back...and they end up using screams grave as a bathroom instead.

Yeah this is just me being a crybaby because I can be and when "creators" create out of their asses and not their brains or hearts I get pissed. Obviously I don't know these strangers making the movie but holy fuck after 2020 Hollywood really just said it's nothing BUT FUCKING REBOOTS AND REMAKES AND OHH LOOKIE OLD CHARACTERS EVERYONE LOVED NOW THEIR BACK EVEN IF THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. See I could've MAYBE gotten with Stu coming back.....if he was interacting with Melissa's character!!. But no it's not gonna happen but I'm very happy melissa is having a good career in general with her acting! So that's a positive note.

It just feels like nobody really gives a shit about these characters and I sadly got cursed with the spectrum of autism were I am absurdly attached to ficonal stories so when is see them being tossed in doodoo butt water I get a little mad 😡. You can like scream just for the ghostface s that's totally fine no one should dawg you on that but you literally cannot forget why the ghostfaces are there for....the other characters to react and build off of vice versa etc etc UGHH yeah yeah throw the tomatoes before I eat them.

I just pray to whatever stupid ass being is out there watching us & hope they never ask behavior for the rights to their ghostface PLEASE NEVER MAKE MY WIFE DANNY JOHNSON A CINEMATIC UNIVERSE LET HIM BE MY LIL BOOMER STUCK IN A VIDEO GAME PLEASE 😭😩 because people already...don't do him justice...

Yeah that's all I have Stu coming back isn't really doing it for me...you can kill off dewy bring back Stu and think I will be okay.....

I'd rather have Stu die ten trillion times then dewy, any day with ease.

[yourgirlniki]

Jackie and Wilson

"For whatever poor soul is coming next"

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x f!reader

3k words

Tags!: No use of y/n, fluff, down bad Johnny MacTavish, not completely canon accurate Soap, first fic! 😎👍

A/N: This is based on Hozier's song Jackie and Wilson - I'm thinking I want this to be the beginning of a collection of one-shots based on his songs, depending on my free time! But again, first fic so please any comments would be greatly appreciated! Was nervous to post but ya only live once Hope you enjoy!

The cushion on the back of the booth wasn’t the most comfortable thing ever. The deep red bump didn’t do much to help an aching back, more of a thing that somewhat fixed the posture of those who sat at it. But who goes to a bar for comfort anyway? Dingy bars aren’t the first place most people would think to go back to after nearly dying halfway across the world.

The sticky floors, the mesh of posters and old mementos hanging on the brick walls. The neon lights, the potent smell- its headache inducing and you don't even have a hangover yet. And there are too many people in here, crowding pool tables and the small dance floor, (if you can even call it that), to be called someplace one would go to calm down and relax.

This is a fact that is true for most people.

But most people aren’t military. Even fewer are SAS.

And absolutely none are John MacTavish.

The man who idolizes the chaotic ways of the world above all else. That’s what has him still in the job quite frankly. The chaos, the ability to live and thrive in an insane environment. For someone like him, these things never truly bothered him. In an odd sense, the smell of alcohol, sweat and far too many bad ideas feel closer to home than he’s been in a few months. A comfort that most don't understand. But he does.

So even as exhaustion tries to take hold, the scott wears a signature giddy smile, adds a seemingly impossible pep to his step, and he drags the 141 into a back table, somehow always energetic. Even after practically wasting away in a desert for the past 3 months, he has energy. It’s honestly absurd.

Even worse is that he always finds a way for that energy to become contagious. As much as his teammates joke and grumble about it, Johnny was their way of restoration, to push forward. He would choose a shitty bar, and even shittier alcohol over a quiet apartment or the pile of paperwork that had to get done at some point. And so, the boys would too. Even if they hid it behind the facade of “babysitting” the grown man.

So now, here they sat, against the trashy cushions, with crappy music, in the dimly lit bar, with smiles and a sense of belonging. They call it a “celebration” of a mission well done, a nod to their success. Definitely not an excuse to just drink the night away, to get the mission out of their heads for a bit. To laugh with comrades and just be… domestic? Is that right? Close enough.. Yeah? Finding their small slot back into normal society.

Don’t get him wrong, Johnny loves his job. Loves what he does, but who doesn’t want to just have a drink at a bar with his mates every once and a while? And that's why he has his third beer in his hand and is snorting and a story Gaz is telling about one of his most recent hookups. A lady who was.. “Bloody crazy! I mean it. Seemed nice at first but don't be fooled, she was insane!”

Yeah, this is home. It’s where he belongs, where he wants to belong, he thinks. With his men, in the middle of nowhere chatting about anything and everything. Confiding in and teasing each other. He trusts them with his life, he can trust them to listen when need be. And yet… there is always that ache. The strange pull in moments like these like something is still missing. It’s been happening more often lately. And it's like an itch Johnny can't scratch. A puzzle piece he can't find but is still absent mindedly searching for. The only issue is he doesn't know what it is, that it just- isn't.

The chatter fades to a muffled sound in the scotts ears for a moment as he lets out a small, genuine smile looking at his group, sipping at the drink in his hand as his forearms lay themselves on the table, hands clasping. Taking a moment to truly thank whatever may be pulling the strings. Bringing him and his boys to safety. And maybe even a small prayer to tell him what the odd nagging in his brain is about. He takes a breath and relaxes, just for a moment. Looking around the bar, truly just admiring the world around him, the bustle of it all, the people with their own lives and ambitions.

How was he supposed to know that was a fatal mistake on his part?

He couldn’t. He didn’t.

He found out a second to late, registered it after he knew he was done for. It was one moment, a mistake, a pause, that would stick with him for as long as it dared. It was a magnet, an invisible force that pulled his very being toward it. The moment he nearly drooled his drink out from his now slack jaw.

Because when his eyes connect with the woman walking through the door, he swears time stopped.

Suddenly, the crappy bar didn’t smell as bad, the music wasn’t too loud, the cushion no longer made his back ache, the room got brighter just from her smile. The very ground shifted, and not in the drunken haze way. He warmed up, eyes wide. A thought process that if he opened them more he would see more. God, it felt like getting a cavity by now, she felt too sweet to even look at.

In a single moment the world shattered around him, everything he knew was thrown out a window, as his mind was occupied by one thought only.

It was only a moment… but by then he knew he was fucked, utterly and completely.

Fate or destiny, call it what you may. An answered prayer, an utter coincidence. It didn’t matter. The bar turned into a museum, a place to observe and admire as his eyes widened impossibly more as his head tilted watching her move. A giggle slipped under his breath as he thought he could be mistaken for Ghost at this point, with his starring.

But your pull, it was undeniable. Even the thought of looking away would cause you to vanish in a blink, never for Johnny to see again. And he couldn’t have that. Not when it was astonishing in the way you simply were.

It only got worse as your group got closer to theirs. A mere table away. When you first walked in it was a trap, a line that was cast into his pond and he was falling for the bait. Confidence is something he is used to in his line of work, but it was usually the cocky kind. The kind that made him want to kick a recruits teeth in for. But you were something different entirely. You demand attention, even if you didn't know it. A high held head, a testament to the world that you were there, and you were aware of it. Thank god it was his attention it demanded, because it was nothing short of a miracle.

The air you lived in became breathable, spreading to his little corner of the bar as he had to remind himself to actually inhale and exhale as he took in the sight over and over again. Committing it to memory. The world became a movie, a fictional place where he wasn’t. One he could only watch and revel in. It was the type that you knew was going to be good before it even began. The one you had been anticipating for and knew wouldn’t disappoint. His heart rate picked up, the same way it would in the field, but in a much less stressful manner now. Jesus, what was happening to him? You must have cursed him. That’s it. The only explanation. Bewitched by not only the view, but the melody of your laugh flooding his ears now at the closer proximity. Leaning against a standing table with a glass in hand, head slightly tilted enough that a stray hair fell to cover your face.

It was comical the way his heart sped up, watching as you chatted with your own group. Something so normal, something you see every single day, was making the big strong man’s hard race like it life or death. And he knew life or death.

Romeo had nothing on him.

Absolutely nothing in the way his brain knew he was to be yours. It had to be, he had to be. It’s how the story will be written, and he will play his role. Stealing your hear that way you have entranced his own. He wouldn’t be able to tell you when he got up. He can’t tell you how his body moved on its own, knowing what needed to be done but not conscious enough to alert his brain.

What he can tell about how perfect it felt to so much as stand there by you. Soaking in your presence was one thing, standing in it next to you was another entirely.

And that's how he found himself face to face with you, who turned to him with a puzzled look, but a kind smile.

He was a goner.

“Oh… umm- Hello, can I help you?” Is all you had to say to him to confirm his every thought. This woman could heal every wound with her voice alone. And her eyes so much as finally looking back at him felt like he was seen for the first time in his life.

“Uhh.. sir? Are you alright?” Your voice rang out again, pulling him back to reality as you hand waved in front of his face slightly. A flattering smile on our lips and your eyebrows furrowed slightly, almost concerned. What came over John MacTavish in that moment is unexplainable.

“I seem to have lost my number—can I have yours?”

Her eyebrows raised. She blinks. Then tilting her head slightly.

He could die right then and there.

Leaning against the table next to her with a stupid, crooked smile and a raised eyebrow, as if he didn't just embarrassed the hell out of himself. A pick up line? That's the best you could do, John? Really? Welp, there goes every chance you had, cut your losses and- Laughter chimed in his ears like wedding bells. And that’s when he froze, every negative thought draining him as he became light. You laugh was intoxicating more than any drink or drug. The kind that was unapologetic and genuine. The kind that has the back of your palm finding your lips as you cover your giggles, nose scrunching and eyes squinting due to the smile. One that made both of you have pink cheeks for different reasons. A joke that probably shouldn't have been laughed at, but coming from the man before you, it eased the tension in the air.

It must have been the prettiest sight Johnny had ever seen.

He doesn’t know how he did it, probably because it wasn’t him at all. Must have been pure luck that after that horrible entrance she seemed kind enough to humor him that night. He bought you a drink and hung on every word you so much as muttered in his direction. You laughed at every joke, good or bad. He made it his mission to make sure he always heard that laugh from then on. To produce it from you.

Oddly enough, it turns out you were one of few words when it came to the actual conversation. And yet it was never rude, ore quiter nature. But more like you were always listening. Every word John rambled on about you picked up, asking questions or simply nodding, expressing your thoughts in your facal expression. Because of this, it seemed like he never looked away from you either, not that it was a bother, it was strangely alright. It wasn’t judgemental, only observant.

He thought he might go buy a ticket for the lottery after you agreed to give him your number by the end of the night. He was more smitten than he’s ever been, and on the dates to follow the swooning only got worse.

Every moment with you felt exhilarating, like he found that missing piece finally after a long search. And that piece loved him back He was insufferable, always gushing about the woman he has the opportunity to take out on a date. And the dates where nothing less of spectacular. The pair was stupid like teenagers in love, but more sentimental, understanding the weight of things better. Arguments never lasted long and if they did they were cleared up before any damage was done. She understood what his job ment to him, and told him she would never make him change that about himself. It was his passion, she can share.

“Just so long as you promise to come back to me.”

And from that day forth he would make a pinky promise every time he left. He was to come home. Time passed quickly, in flashes. It felt like his life went from downtime in between missions, to missions in between downtime. His heart ached for you in the days he was gone, but he always knew he would be home. He would see you again. He found a want to live, even more now that he found his world.

And as time passed them by, he found out she was perfect in the all the ways he could dream of. Especially in the impossible task of calming him down as well. Rough mission? She already had his favorite meal ready and was soothing him over. Nightmares? She was there either on the phone or more recently next to him to hold him and run her fingers through his hair. To much energy? To rowdy? You always found a way to settle him down. His anchor. And he would do the same for her if the day presented itself.

Another plus that made it all that much more, everyone liked you.It wasn’t hard too of course, but it proved even moreso how lucky he got. His family adored you, his sisters taking you in as part of the family already, much quicker than any of his other past relationships. It made him well up with pride.

Even when he officially introduced you to the 141, it was with open arms as well. If he wasnt a unit before, he absolutely was one now. Maybe just a tad bit more annoying with his bragging but of course he brags. Those boys knew how much you were doing for him, and you knew they were keeping him safe. It was a harmony that both sides respected.

A part of him knew that even if all of those people didn’t like her, (an impossible feat if he does say so himself), nothing would change for him. You were his, he was yours. Irrevocably and absolutely. If the world didn’t want them, the world wasn’t for them. Simple as that. Life became sweeter, dreamlike as he fell into a comfortable rhythm. It was almost unbelievable, no, it was unbelievable.

One day, as he was laying on the couch, laying gently on you, nearly dozing off. Then he felt your hand on his shoulder, a soft pat that made him stir but not move as he hummed in response. “Johnny?” You said, soft enough that he had to stir slightly closer to your voice. But he didn’t look up, kept his heavy eyes shut as he mumbles a small “what?”

“Earth to Johnny..” Hmm, that's odd. It mde him sit up the slightest bit more. Must have been laying on his ear wrong, your voice sounded weird. And another pat on his shoulder, a bit harder this time.

“MacTavish!”

And then he blinked. He was sitting up straight, eyes wide as he made eye contact with his Captain across from him, in the same place he left him at the bar. The bar? His cheek stung from the movement of no longer resting on… his palm? His? No that’s not right. His head hurt slightly as the smell of bar flooded his nose. What was he doing in a-

“Soap, you alright? You were out for a bit. Staren’ at nothing.” Gaz said with a smile, slightly concerned.

He looked around, baffled as he took in the same dingy bar he had met you in. In fact in the same spot exactly, same clothes, same drink. Hold on, that can't be right. His head swung back around as he took in the table next to them was, empty. Bottles and cups discarded to the side, napkins crumpled. He heard the bar door shut as his eyes flicked over and spotted the same woman walk away outside, smiling the same as she was before. Only then did it make sense.

His mind filled in the blanks for him as he rubbed his face with a groan. When something is too good to be true, it's probably because it is. Gaz was patting his back as Ghost and Price shared a look that had Price hiding a smirk. But it didn’t matter to Johnny.

What mattered was she’d already left.

The boys decided that's where the night should end, Johnny's head almost embarrassingly hung low as they paid their bill and called a car to take them back to base. This is the first time Scott has sulked in a while, running his hands through his mohawk as he kicked himself for being so stupid. Caught up in a daydream of a random woman at the bar, what a stupid fantasy to get caught in. he was practically mourning something he doesn't even have, never did have. And now something he wouldn’t have either.

The moment changed his life for sure, a memory of fake memories that will haunt his little brain every once in a while when he's bored and remembers this night.

[dayurno]

hiii dayurno I’m a big fan !! In general but also of the name of the game which is what this ask is abt

Somewhat of a directors cut question bc the kevjean brain worms are eating me from the inside out - do u think there’s a version of the name of the game where Kevin turns away from Andrew and Neil and ends up with Jean - although I guess I don’t mean that kevjean need to end up romantic rather than simply the most important relationship in each others lives

Although I guess a broader question is if there’s a version where Kevin turns his back on Andrew and Neil and if so what happens then

its always touching (but crazy!) when people tell me they like tnotg because looking back on it its been 3 years and theres a lot of things about it i dislike 🫡 mostly writing choices and typos and whatnot, but its very sweet to me that people still care about it and are willing to look past those….. tch! i am nonetheless all too aware of the flaws in it but i’ll edit it one day. eventually. 4 sure

as for your question hmmm lets see! if you’re asking if there’s an universe where kevin rejects andreil — i think so! i think if kevin hadn’t slept with river, hadn’t moved to charleston, hadn’t befriended robin at the time he did, he probably wouldn’t have gotten to the yes he gives them in chapter 6. it wouldn’t necessarily be a finite forever no, but it’d definitely be a very uncertain Maybe andrew wouldn’t have wanted to work with it. at that point they would’ve stopped pursuing him unless neil thought he could convince kevin, but i’m not sure andrew would’ve been on board with that

now an universe where he ends up with jean….🤔💭 when i wrote tnotg there was little to no information (or really content) about jean and most of the kevjean friendship was based off of guesses and headcanons. this is i think made obvious by the fact that jean is older than kevin in it and was already a year into his contract with the stingrays when kevin signed with them. he wasn’t the one to suggest they move in together, but he offered kevin a place to stay while he looked for apartments, which led to the conclusion of kevin asking if he wants to be roommates. part of it was kevin scared of living alone, but the other part was simply because kevin wanted to be closer to jean again, and he thought close proximity could mend the parts of their relationship he thought were still off

which is all to say: yes! there can be a world where kandreil don’t get together and kevjean do :) my original plan 3 years ago was to involve jean with their captain in an out of wedlock affair (3 cheers for yonah’s shitty fiance), but it was scrapped pretty early in the writing process. i still think jean and yonah could have casually dated or hooked up on the side, and eventually river would have figured it out and told kevin, which would make him look at jean. Differently. i think. at the point of kevin’s first season he’s not really thinking about jean as an adult so much as he’s thinking about the memory of him as a teenager, so it’d be a bit of a shock to hear jean is fooling around with a teammate, which would put associations in his head he would Not Like To Deal With

the thing is that i don’t know if tnotg jean was in love with kevin the way tsc jean was. i think it was definitely There on the back of his mind, but i’m not sure if that version of him would have acknowledged his feelings, and it’s likely he’d have suppressed them much more than he did in tsc. but, by the time the tnotg timeline starts, jean is in a much better and calmer place, and i think he would eventually reevaluate those memories if kevin showed any sign of interest in him. and then it’d be free real estate

[finelinecinemashow]

Sin City

Plot: Lany, the formidable daughter of a mafia kingpin, finds herself drawn to the charismatic leader of a rival gang. Bound by desire yet torn by allegiances, Lany and her unlikely paramour must confront their deepest fears and darkest secrets in a world where trust is a luxury and betrayal is always lurking in the shadows. Will their love endure the trials of Sin City, or will their passion become the ultimate casualty in a war they cannot control?

Word count: 1,273K

Warnings: vulgar language - Nothing dramatic yet

PART ONE: INTRODUCTION

🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺

The one good thing about being in the heart of Vegas is the college kids that come flooding in. Spring break has officially begun and the idiots are lining the door. For the ambiance, the drugs, and the alcohol galore. Owning half the strip has its perks, but I think getting to watch their mistakes happen is my favorite part. I have bodies littered on the club floor right with party favors and I like to keep my eye on them. Daddy always says, "Never overlook the importance of keeping an eye on our own." Well, he also says, "Those closest to us can sometimes pose the greatest threats." But I'm gonna over look that one. Not because I don't believe it, but because I have strategically hand chosen my crew to help me build this empire. Let's introduce everyone, shall we? 

Down by the bar, I have Georgia. We call her G. She is everything you would want a Soldier drug runner to be. She possesses precision, discretion, and unwavering loyalty, while also possessing the necessary street smarts to navigate the complex underworld of drug trafficking. Also she's fucking hot and knows how to trick a poor bastard. 

Next we have Diego, who is currently cozied up to a group of girls on a couch in VIP. He likes to go by Moose. The fucker is obsessed with Step Up, if you can't tell. He is just an associate, but he is smart, and he knows it. But he is main attraction for women. He makes me the most money when it comes to spring break, holidays, vacations etc. Hold on, pausing on introductions for just a second. 

I lift my finger to the side of my ear and press the ear piece until I hear the beep. "Moose. Why do I have a bunch of females without wristbands sitting in my VIP section?" I snapped. 

I could see the deer in headlights a mile away. "Take it easy on him, Mills. The girl to the left of him came in with bags. He's getting intel." G Spoke back. 

I quickly looked over at her and she lifted her hand up to the ceiling. That means one thing in here. That means that they walked into my club with other gang members. "Angels Syndicate" is what they call themselves. It's a shitty name if you ask me. But what do I know? Moose laughed into the ear piece. 

"Baby come on, just tell me who gave it to you, huh?" I really don't want him flirting in my ear but this better be good. I could hear her giggling as she leaned into him. Little does she know that she is speaking into a mic. 

"I don't know, he was a little shorter than you, but had some cool tattoos. Said his name was Niall. We passed him on the way down here." Diego makes eye contact and nods before letting his ear piece go. Carry on I guess. 

Now.. who's next. Oh, Lydia. She is my... shall I say, seductress. Much like Moose, she is just an associate. But she gets all the men to buy. She's not as good as G, but when I need her, she's the next best thing. And next we have Slade. My secret fucking weapon. Now, He is next with G. He is a soldier, a Made Man. He is everything I need. My Negotiator. But because he's a child at heart, he's currently dealing with it. In the middle of the dance floor. Acting a fool. But that's to get people to like him. He always has to be liked. When in doubt, if you fuck something up and I can't have G fix it, I'm calling Louis. Because while he is lanky, dudes got a mean right hook and he loves to fucking party. 

And we have the nerd. My fun as shit little brother Rhett. He is currently behind me in my office with the security system checking faces, backgrounds and really anything that looks suspicious. He is my know it all brainiac of the operation. He can hack anything you need, Cars, banks, phones, laptops, light systems, scanners, the whole lot of them. We found out he could do that when We had the FBI banging on our door for him at just 11 years old. He hacked the FBI system to prove they needed better security. What did he say?? Great question I would love to tell you. "Boo. I've got you. Now let me tell you about my state of the art of unhackable security systems. Hi, Rhett Corleone." Of course the idiot had to do it and almost bust the family. But lucky for us, they wanted the security. Not us. So the little shit negotiated a crisp Million before his 12th birthday. We couldn't be mad, we were impressed.

 And obviously we save the best for last. Daddy's little girl. One tier below the big man himself. Me. Lany Corleone. But to everyone in Vegas, I am Lany Mills. Club owner. I have been doing this for 7 years. And 2 years ago, I was moved to The Vegas division to take over. I got to pick my own crew, be my own boss, and cause as much mayhem as I want - just don't get caught. That?? That's easy. At least it was until Angels Syndicate came to town. But I'm always one step ahead. I know too many people to be behind them. I have too much riding on this to give it up. Vegas is my turf, and I am not letting them fuck with it. I just need names, and locations to make moves. But until then, party on Garth.

 I felt hands wrap around my hips and lips attached to my neck, mm.. I don't remember saying anyone can touch me. Pulling my gun from the front of my jeans I half turn and grab the person by the shirt and bring them to the banister, gun to head. I'm met with Cam. The local Sheriff deputy. Oh fucking hell.

 "What the fuck, Cam!"

 "Holy shit babe, chill out." He laughs. Why are you laughing pretty boy? I'll fold your shit right here. 

"Don't call me babe, Cam." I sighed. "And don't grab me like that. I've got shit to do." I pull him off the banister Smirking. I allow my face to switch back to hard, cold and ruthless. 

I turn toward the balcony again. What is it about sleeping with a man once that makes them think they can just touch you all the time afterwards?? I slept with him to not get caught, and he's clingier than me. I don't have time to waste on a one night stand. My crew needs me. 

"Cam, You can stay as long as you want, but I have people counting on me for safety. Please let me do my job." I sigh. I look at him, he's still smiling at me. What I would do to wipe that smirk off his face. "Hey Mills. Do you need help? I can be the jealous boyfriend if you need." Slade's voice rang into my ear. I laughed before responding. "All good here. keep dancing away, Pretty boy." I smiled down at him and he smiled back. He continues to throw his hands in the air and sings the club song loudly. 

🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺

Welcome to Sin City. Love, drugs, gambling, and pure adrenaline. Join the crowd, or watch from the side. Either way, you're in for a hell of a ride. So buckle up bitches.

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

Auugh I swear I’m so. So normal about Guilty Gear

But like. The newest entry in the series, Strive, speaks to me in so many ways and I don’t just mean as a game (though it is fun and I wish I could get ANYONE I know irl to play it with me but oh well, at least I’m pretty good with Bedman?)

And yes I’m about to ramble about fighting game lore so I’m sorry in advance

Over and over through the game’s themes, its story, there’s one thing that just keeps repeating over and over again. The game has a genuine thesis: forgiveness and moving on in a positive direction. Recognizing the world isn’t perfect but seeing that it’s worth saving. From the music to the character arcs it’s there. And oh god, especially the way the characters developed. For example:

Unwilling scientist-turned-superhero Sol Badguy (an alias; his actual name is Fredrick Bulsara—yes, Freddy Mercury’s real name you just get used to that it was intentional) finally gets the chance to move on from the life he was forced into, is no longer the most powerful being alive, and just gets to live with his wife/girlfriend and drink shitty beer and be a mechanic.

Ky Kiske, king of basically the European Union, abdicates to his biological superweapon wife to prove to the world that Gears are people too and gets his happily ever after with her and their son (who is a lovable idiot)

Potemkin, former slave gladiator who helped start a revolution that made his country a better place, who refuses to give up hope for despair even when faced with the harsh realities of the world

Revenge fueled, one-armed Samurai Baiken finally gives up on her revenge to save her found family

Bedman(?), who literally died after going on a mistaken crusade to help save his sister (not knowing that the way he wanted to do so should doom the world and being fooled that all the destruction he caused was only temporary), still caring about his sister enough that even in death his robotic bed continues to protect her, animated (probably) by his soul to earn some ounce of redemption in her eyes

Asuka R. Kreutz, anti-villain forced to make a series of horrible choices, framed for starting essentially World War 3, and now that he’s finally cleared his name starting on the long road to forgiving himself

Bridget, rejecting the social norms of where she lived and society at large to go the way she wanted to in her life (even though she’s hardly relevant to the story she’s still an icon)

Pretty much everyone else in the cast in some way is healing and moving on with life, I’m just listing a few

I’m sorry I’m rambling but like. God it’s a crazy story and it still brings tears to my eyes listening to the ost (absolutely banger btw) and I will not shut up about it I love it too damn much

[gretakatharinaa]

Scorpios and eye rolls - about The Barnum Effect

I don’t think that anything has earned me more eye rolls from others than me (1) saying I’m a feminist or (2) asking someone about their zodiac sign.

The way I see it, there are two groups of people: The ones who like talking about zodiac signs and the ones that absolutely detest it.

While I’m not here to slander either of these groups, I would like to talk about what makes zodiac signs so compelling. 

Yes, I know, everybody has the same answer in their head, making me look like a fool for dedicating an article to a question to which the answer is so evident.

”They don’t mean anything, they’re just general statements anybody can relate to“

Obviously, that’s how they work. 

Looking further as to why zodiac signs, psychic readings or even self help books seem to perfectly hit the mark for every person reading/listening, is actually due to a very compelling psychological phenomenon.

The Barnum Effect was named after P.T. Barnum in 1965 by psychologist Paul Meehl. 

P.T. Barnum, an American showman and politician originally inspired Bertram Forer, who named the now known Barnum effect ”fallacy of personal validation”. Essentially, the effect applied to general characterizations attributed to an individual, making said individual perceive specific description, ignoring the universality of the statement made.

To simplify: The Barnum effect makes you believe someone is specifically describing your personality, when really it’s just a general statement that could apply to most people.

Forer listed some of these general statements in a classic experiment in 1948. To name a few:

You have the tendency to be critical of yourself.

Security is one of your major goals in life.

You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof.

The last one was too ironic not to be included.

 Barnum - the showman who actually partly inspired the Greatest showman - advertised his show by saying it’s ”something for everyone”, insinuating personal interest and promising entertainment, no matter for whom. It ensured people, intrigued them and essentially - worked. 

The Barnum effect doesn’t only take place in horoscopes or psychic readings: 

It’s used in many forms of marketing.

”Because you desire security in the future“ - marketing for life insurance.

”You deserve some time for yourself” - marketing spa products, such as face masks or bath salts.

”Looking for a getaway?” - marketing for vacations.

General statements are general simply because they always apply to the masses. Everybody tends to be self-critical, to crave security, to want a vacation. That’s why Barnum’s statements worked, that’s how ads work. 

Coming back to zodiac signs and eye rolls. Two reasons as to  why some people genuinely believe in them is (1) people love to learn or hear about themselves and (2) people begin to get proof.

About (1): When people describe you, say positive things about you, it tends to be intriguing simply because human brains suck up being perceived. You learn so much about yourself when you are actively perceived and told about, whether it’s good things or bad.

About (2): Say you had an ex, and they were kind of shitty. Say you knew their zodiac sign. Say you meet more people with that zodiac sign. Selective perception will make you hyper aware to the connection between the bad traits your ex had and other people, sharing their zodiac sign, sharing those traits. 

And right there, another phenomenon takes place, besides the Barnum effect and selective perception: The Illusory Truth Effect, essentially meaning that information tends to be believed faster and easier after repeated exposure, regardless of its accuracy.

Our brain is simply wired to find solutions, explanations and reasons for anything and everything, taking in every information possible. That is why horoscopes work, that is how people believe in them and that is how they spread and cause eye rolls and articles by a bored law student on a Tuesday night.

When it comes to me and horoscopes, I actually, truthfully do not believe in them. It’s like the Kardashians: It’s not real, but extremely entertaining.

Still, I love getting into zodiac signs and (jokingly) judging people, but maybe that’s just because I’m a scorpio. (I really hope you just rolled your eyes).

[metaphoricalcolours]

it makes so much sense that aaron dessner cowrote the secret of us with gracie, i mean it was only a matter of time until this album sneaked its way into my life. i didn't listen to it immediately but of course it was gonna be over as soon as i felt hit by free now... especially the bridge. it wasn't enough for mr dessner to work with taylor on some of her most heartbreaking songs ever, no, he just HAD to keep the job going with other artists... i told you things is my year in a nutshell, nothing less. it has truly been a let it happen to i told you things pipeline, what an absolute fail. blowing smoke? i knew it, i know you? i love you, i'm sorry? "and i'm not gonna miss his shitty friends and nights of their binge drinkin' / and i'm not gonna miss his old inflated ego, shallow thinkin" in tough love? "pull the trigger on the gun i gave you when we met" in close to you???? gave you i, gave you i??? and, ironically, us. isn't even my favourite song on the album but "if history's clear, someone always ends up in ruins / and I history's clear, the flames always end up in ashes" makes me sick! YOU NEVER READ UP ON IT, SHAME, COULD'VE LEARNED SOMETHING! a since we're talking about aaron and taylor... the bridge of that's so cool, of course... "made it out alive, but i think i lost it, said that i was fine, said it from my coffin, remember how i died when you started walking, that's my life"??? and seeing how great someone is, calling them special only for them to show you in the worst ways how wrong you were about them. "but i know what i know and you're just another dude". it's embarrassing and humiliating to think about how much you invested in someone, from every point of view, only for them to prove they were either putting on the greatest act in history, or that you were the one who saw them in a different light. "waited for your walls to close on me, they did, i spun 'round, hate the way i spun 'round, all the way till i could barely breathe / "you paint a picture of us just to burn it, fool, i'm a fool if the shoe fits" in cool?? i truly believe art finds us when we most need it and i think i listened to this album at the right time. ironically, i'd shown it to the person all those songs ended up reminding me of -only having listened to us. at the time- and that will always sting. you just don't expect someone you love to make you relate to lyrics that make you feel like your heart's being ripped out of your chest, do you?

"don't stop talking to me and maybe stay here forever." ha, this timing. the deluxe version of TSOU came out after the events. but this person happened when i least expected them to, when i wasn't even looking for somebody, just like in packing it up. but this year has taught me something, don't let them know we're in pain. limit feeling. shitshows only happen when you tell and show people how you feel. you'll give them your heart and they'll tear it apart and walk out. if you put your pain on display, people won't soothe it even if they pretend to care, how foolish i was to believe, or at least hope for that. they'll know exactly how to hurt you and take advantage of it. showing your feelings is the beginning of your downfall.

if it feels like a trap, you're already in one.

[nexstage]

“You know, I’ve never considered humans consistent enough with their words and actions. But you, kid. You seem to be the exception what with this sudden attachment to your brother. I mean, can't you see how happy he is?” The MultiFace, an amalgamation of voices and faces in one solid mass, showcased in front of Ford a big, old, and slightly cracked mirror. Inside there was Stan, followed by a multitude of fans as they asked him for autographs. He signed lots of them before entering his car, or a new more modern version of it, where his wife and children were waiting.

“This is just a sick illusion to keep him from reality after tricking him!!”

“Tricking him?” the MultiFace tilted its position because, well, they don't have a head. “Why would I trick someone who has accepted such a harsh truth? I may hate humans, but I'm not a bloodthirsty psychopath.”

Now Ford was the one who couldn't understand. “What truth are you talking about?”

MultiFace’s mouths and snouts grinned creepily. Ford’d hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and a shiver coursed through his body. “That his ‘family’ never loved him.”

Ok, NO! Absolutely no! That’s bullshit!

“That’s bullshit!! Of course, we love him.”

The thousands of eyebrows of MultiFace raised, and they hummed, unimpressed. Ford fought hard the urge of hiding his hands. He felt judged. Like a kid who thought that had given the right answer to the teacher but instead had made a fool of themself without knowing.

The MultiFace got unnervingly closer to Ford; he stepped back, ready to attack, but his body felt paralyzed by all the eyes of different colors and sizes that scrutinized him. “Tell me, ‘genius’,” the creature spat the last word with a cruel sarcasm. “Would a person that truly believes their family loves them accept to be replaced by one of my changelings and live their life as someone else?”

Ford opened his mouth but nothing came out for the MultiFace interrupted him, “Would a person that says ‘I love you’ to another one not recognize said person and distinguish them from an imposter?”

“W-What’s are you getting at?” He asked, his voice trembling just like his logic for it warned him of the answer, and answer he didn’t want to believe was true.

“Ok, Mr. PhD Master, I’ll dumb it out for you. Your twin has finally realized he was never loved and your ‘family’ has finally shown their true colors. But hey! Everyone is happy! He’s in another reality where he’s loved and those putrid liars you call relatives have the version of Stanley they have always wanted. You even got your apology!”

“At the cost of my twin! Stanley—!”

“DON’T YOU DARE TO MAKE THIS ABOUT YOURSELF!!!” The MultiFace roared with such potency that it pushed Ford to the ground. “YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE THE MOST ABOUT HUMANS YOU LITTLE, SHITTY SCUM?!!! THAT YOU PIN ANYTHING ON YOURSELVES AS LONG AS THAT BENEFITS YOU!! THE BLAME, THE CREDIT, THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS, ANYTHING!! YOUR BROTHER IS HAPPY BUT THE MOMENT THIS RUBS IN YOUR FACE YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS, YOU GO WAAA WAAAA LIKE A FUCKING BABY BECAUSE YOU CAN’T OWN UP TO YOUR GUILT LIKE A MAN!!!”

Ford got up, ignoring the survival instinct to run away from the eldritch beast before him. “You don’t know us. We love Stanley. I love him! I even realized he wasn’t talking to me but one of your offsprings!”

“Oh yes, congrats,” their condescending tone boiled Ford’s blood. “You are the exception in your rotten excuse of a family. What should I give you? A medal?”

“Give me my brother back. Return him to reality!”

“I said you were the exception in your ‘family’, but I never said that you were the exception with making things about yourself.”

“That’s nonsense! This is not about me!”

“Really? Let’s see, I do what you want and then what? What do you think will happen with your brother? You might free yourself from your own guilt and pat yourself on the back, but Stanley will be once again in a reality where he is a nobody, a screw up. Oh! What about when he finds out that his own ‘family’ never realized they weren’t talking to him but to one of my changelings and liked it much more? How can you heal a heart that has proved to oneself that their loved ones never cared about him, that their relationship with them was so shallow that their own ‘family’ failed to distinguish the real them from an imposter?”

The moment Ford was about to say ‘I’ll find a way to fix that’ never came because, and he hated to admit it, the level of emotional and psychological damage that would cause was beyond his expertise.

Did Stan really thought that low of himself? That even a replacement could do better than him and get the approval and acceptance of everyone? Did this start when he was kicked out or much before? Did Stanley’s trust on their family’s love was so fragile as to think he was better of replaced?

Here is an idea for a GF fic that my friend and I came up with which I'm not sure I'm gonna do anything with.

***

Ford calls his mom shortly before a family reunion that he's not sure about attending (given that he usually doesn't). Caryn joyfully tells him that Stan, who no one's really heard from in a while, is also gonna be coming for the first time since he was kicked out. And Ford is... well, he doesn't know how to feel about it. If anything, he is surprised. The first time Stan didn't try reaching out on their birthday and then on other family holidays, he kinda saw it as confirmation that heis brother really didn't want to come back and apologize. Family reunions never felt the same afterwards, so Ford just stopped coming. Now though... well, it's just strange and very unexpected. But a small part of him that he desperately tries to push down is hopeful that maybe Stan will finally apologize and perhaps they will at least be on speaking terms again.

So, against better judgement, Ford does go. And Stan is there, just like his mom said he would be. He seems to be doing well for himself, just like Ford thought he would, exuding confidence and chatting with people. What's strange is that their father is one of those people. Because Stan has never been so calm when speaking to him, and it's unbelievable to see, especially after all that has happened. Their father seems to have picked up on the confidence, something that he's always wanted his sons to exhibit, so maybe that, along with how well off Stan seems to be, may explain his change of attitude. Stan, however...

Eventually, Ford finally talks to him. It starts with an apology, a surprisingly straightforward one too: no averted eyes or nervous hand movements, no hasty explanations or excuses. In a way, that's all Ford has wanted: a straightforward genuine apology, an admission of guilt. But somehow that also feels entirely wrong, like someone playing the part of his brother in a play, doing it well, but only as well as someone reading from a script could. That's when Ford gets the creeping thought that whatever's in front of him is something that's pretending to be his brother.

Of course, at first he tries to write it off as just him being paranoid, especially seeing how the rest of the family doesn't seem to think anything's off. And, after all, it has almost been ten years. But the more he watches, the more he notices the numerous small inconsistencies, like all the mannerisms he clearly remembers from years ago being completely gone.

At last, Ford can't bear it anymore, so he decides to use something that is extremely personal (and painful) to both of them: their childhood dream. He casually comes up to Stan and starts a conversation. Eventually, Ford brings it up and Stan's reaction is something along the lines of "Well, that was just stupid, wasn't it? I mean, it's a childish dream, something we did to pass the time, but it could never work. Sometimes you just have to outgrow things like that, you know. I wish I had just done it sooner, rather than later". And it's so utterly wrong it's straight up uncanny. Like, of course, Ford did choose to pursue his own aspirations instead. Maybe Stan could find other things to do too, that's believable. But this doesn't mean the dream no longer matters, and for Stan out of all the people to talk about it like it doesn't and hasn't ever...

So, right then and there, Ford decides that, whoever he is talking to is not his brother. And thus he sets out on a mission to find out whatever happened and, most importantly, where Stanley actually is.

***

Or alternatively, Stan somehow stumbles upon some sort of mind reading supernatural creatures who pretty much push him to make a wish. That wish is kinda contradictory in itself, more so two of his deep wants combined: Stan wants his family to accept him and love him again, but he also wants to stop being himself, Stanley Pines, the homeless grifter and the screw up.

The solution to this problem is: a sort of magical clone of Stan is created, which is designed to, while mainly relying on Stan's own memories, act in a way that will make the people he cares about like him. Overtime, the copy will correct its mistakes and become more and more like the real thing, and Stan will forget who he is, which would free him of all his regrets and let him begin life anew.

The flaw with all of that? Stan severely underestimated how much his twin actually cares and how much he's willing to do for him.

***

I have no idea how this would actually go or work and neither does my friend. A rescue mission, a lot of upsetting realizations, that's for sure. Anyway, I like this idea too much to just let it quietly perish in our imaginations. So I'm putting it into yours too lol

[foschiamara]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ [END].

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Juyeon x M!reader.

Author's Note: uuuh I don't think I'm okaaaaaaaay, I don't think I'm okay. I honestly didn't know whether to upload it, I feel like it's garbage.

Previously: You're tired of being his last option (being hidden) and you decide to end "things" with him, maybe he'll fix it, maybe he won't.

Genre: Discussions, Against, Fluff (kinda), Drama.

Wrng: internalized homophobia.

"I should have dressed as a clown to make a fool of myself in a better way." You thought.

It was around noon and you had been waiting for more than three hours for what is supposedly your boyfriend. You both had agreed that today you would see each other after a very hard week, exams and projects were driving you crazy. There is nothing better than a whole day resting with the person you love the most so far. At least, that's what you thought when you first arrived at the coffee shop. Where is he? It was your only question for a while now. He didn't even answer your calls. That would have been the last straw, the whole jug. It wasn't the first time he had put you through something like this, but after many conversations, he promised that he would change and you really tried to believe him.

You wanted to continue waiting for him, you wanted to continue hoping for the idea that he would arrive, but the time was approaching for you to be in your first class of the day and since you were also part of the committee, you decided to pay for your coffee and leave without further ado. You felt so embarrassed after paying the girl, you spent more than two hours boasting to her that this would be 'the day' and that after a long time, she would finally meet the boy you've been talking so much about for more than 4 months now, unfortunately things didn't happen—again.

"M/N!" You heard from afar that distinctive loud voice that could only tell you who it was, you were so angry that you decided to speed up your pace to avoid talking to him, however your ways of escaping would have been worthless after feeling his fingers gently sink into your shoulder. When you turned around you began to listen to his great sermon of reasons why he took 'longer than he thought', but as always, everything he said ended with 'sorry, bro' and its characteristic way of messing up your hair.

Ouch, to a certain point you understood that he was afraid to say that he is gay, I mean, he told you before they started dating and you were fine with that, I say you were because you always saw him surrounded by several of his 'girl-friends' and even you saw him hugged by the neck with one in particular. Does he have to do all that just out of fear? I think he also forgot that you also had feelings, maybe he forgot that you were dating and that constantly made you overthink. The only thing you wanted was to be able to hold his hand without him constantly looking around.

ㅡSomething happens?ㅡThe brunette exclaimed after seeing you all the way with your head down and muttering a couple of things that didn't make much sense.

"I was just thinking about the exams. . . and us." You didn't want to get into your feelings any further. It wasn't even the place, and surprisingly, not the person you would want to talk to about this. On the other hand, you only heard a heavy sigh and saw out of the corner of your eye how he only nodded sadly.

"Did I do something wrong? Tell me what I did wrong now, and I'll fix it" You felt a big hole in your chest, you wanted to scream at him right then and there about everything that should change so that you could stop feeling like a shitty boyfriend and he could lose that fear of being left alone just because he had someone of the same sex as his partner, but you only deigned to stare at him and caress his cheek.

In the entire class you couldn't concentrate better because of the laughing session that Juyeon was having with one of his friends at the back of the room, you had finally decided that the best option—for you—would be to end what was still going on between the two of you. You didn't hesitate to send him a random message but you didn't get a response from the boy, you had no choice but to wait until class could finish and talk to him before he went to play basketball.

"Juyeon, I have to tell you something, and I think it will be quick." You told him when he was going down a couple of steps after the teacher was ready to put his things away and leave, when the individual left and there was no one else in the room—so you two started talking about how you felt being there, after several months together; what liked to do most, what didn't, etc. Everything was going so well until some basketball teammates rushed to the classroom door and asked for the tallest one.

Your heart stopped after hearing him say, "Just give me a minute, I'm talking to a friend." Is that what you were to him? It seems that yes, Eric was right. You should not continue being in a place where you were only the couple when he got the chip on. You didn't know that "friends" always spent their time kissing or watching a series while doing nothing but caressing each other or even ending up naked on a bed with only a sheet covering both bodies. It didn't take long for your eyes to be glassy with the amount of tears you didn't want to shed, at least not in front of him, in front of the same boy who broke your heart in the worst way you've ever experienced so far.

You tried to raise your gaze so you could see his eyes and give him a weak smile, you did nothing more than leave a couple of pats on his shoulder before leaving the room. You knew that things didn't go any further after he denied you, who knows how many times he must have done the same thing, that was the real reason why you no longer fought or thought with hate.

"W-wait, what does this mean?" The raven man asked after rushing out of the same place and thus taking you by the forearm.

ㅡWe're done, I don't like going out with friends.ㅡ You said as you let go of his grip and continued walking to the cafeteria, where your best friend was.

The boy, for his part, just stood there stunned in that cold hallway where you left him without even turning to look at him, he was stunned, he couldn't process anything that just happened, he knew he screwed up.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

[0coldphantom0]

Reasons why they get no bitches: ✨La Squadra edition!✨

Back at it again with some lovely ☺️ personal headcanons for them jojo bois.

Ps.My askbox is open for requests so send me any requests ( make them juicy).If i catch any minor asking for nsfw stuff you will be 🌸blocked 🌸

Risotto:

- Given how the mafia works, i presume theres a certain quota most ppl have to follow as to not get killed or be looked down upon, so him being in a relationship would place him at a disadvantage strategically speaking.

- Not to assume there haven’t been moments where he could’ve gotten bitches.I have a presumption that somewhere down his Passione career one or two unlucky bastards tried to bribe him with promises of pussy in the hopes of living to tell the tale.It didnt work.

- Im a sole believer that if this man was ever pissed off by a woman hed forcefully make her bleed from her cooch istg ( this is a joke.I am joking, please dont come for me i am but a mere idiot)

- “Im on my period” “im aware :)”

- ✨attachment issues✨:/.

- Lacks the ability to turn off his work mode aka will intimidate ppl without wanting to

- Hyper analyses your body language to a point where you can’t decipher whether hes checking u out or planning how big the hole he must dig for your corpse gotta be smh what a turn off

- Socially inept oh whats that a convo needing his opinion thats not related to his work?? * turns invisible*

- Whats that a convo needing his opinion that IS related to his work??? You a cop or smth?Dont ever ask that again

- Many would find his field of work impossible to adapt to, lets for a second imagine living codependently with an absolute felon, this man went to jail for sure.Most people look funny at smokers let alone someone like him.

- Not to mention the utter anxiety he without realising creates.Sure its fun to cause someone to twitch in fear when theyre some dude you gotta off but when youre the one sitting in front of this man and all he does is squint in disapproval, or lowers his tone…it can only cause for some issues.( unless youre into that then sure have fun being on the edge all the time ig )

- He bottles his emotions and denies the extent of his affections, so man probably wont tell you how he feels abt things, and i can bet money that if youre an emotional kinda pal, he’ll disregard your feelings a lot “because how is there something to fix when nothing is broken “ and “deal with it” are his go to.

Pesci:

- *vaguely gestures at his whole design *

- Either examines everything his crush does with a fine comb or the opposite.This can lead to some awkward instances where he either spews out the most incomprehensible gibberish before making a run for it or not hear a single word if you ask him a question, ending up in him forgetting where and what he is doing.

- Got that heavy dose of toxic masculinity and inferior complex all thanks to all the other guys he hangs with ( im looking at you illuso, cheese and ham >:()

- With that being said its safe to assume that most of the time hes also used as the butt of the joke or even as a leeway to the other members in his group to yoink a gal or two due to his gullibility.Hed be the ugly fool whod annoy the wee damsel and in turn lead to someone else “intervening “ ( in short, prosciutto has and will steal any girl pesci likes as means of teaching the boy a “lesson “ which is bullshit,we all know he’s doing if for fun )

- Push over and a half

- Shitty fashion sense

- I dont believe this man has ever fucked.Like, at all.

-bitchboy and a half, i feel like the moment you raise your voice he winces. Go girl give us lack of confidence, im sure thats attractive :/

- am convinced this man knows zero abt girls, to a point where if he held hands with one his brain would implode.

- I do believe he in a way over glorified being part of the mafia similar to Giorno. The big difference between them is that whilst golden boy drank piss to end kids having a meth addiction, My headcanon is that Pesci thought hed be gaining some respect and power by joining the gang, and spitefully be able to rub it in whoever’s face he could.This also means getting bitches- in this moment he fails to acknowledge said bitches are far and few for his organisation ( unless youre counting prostitutes)and the ones who do be, are probably not going to mingle with someone from the hitman team.

Prosciutto:

- smokes like a chimney (when stressed)and prob a big coffee drinker, i cant imagine finding that pleasant when kissing

- Cheapskate for anything that isnt him. He will buy those gucci socks, for himself.Depending on how much worth he places on the “bitches” hell either flaunt money but share none or hand u a generous tip of 5 lire and tell u to get urself someting nice:)

- Has this sense of entitlement worse than illuso, and also a bit of a saviour complex.Sure on the surface it might come off as him being patient and wating to provide for the crush, unfortunately this manifests through him controlling not only what you do but your opinion on any matter too.Should you speak / act out of line, you now have to redeem urself by kissing ass :/

- everything becomes monitored too.Hes basically in the mindset of training this person to be his ideal from the getgo. Isnt that so wonderfull.

- Imagine if your s/o bitched abt everything you do like a strict parent… how hot…😒

- Kinda misogynistic ngl, even by the standarts of then, hes got a very set way of thinking and acting around someone depending on their gender. Now if you happen to be nonbinary, depending on “which side of the scale you lean on” and by that i mean if prosciutto considers you more masc / fem leaning he will treat you as such.neither side is more torelable than the other, hes temperamental as shit.

- Reeks of that toxic masculinity, i can therefore say this man will never show an ounce of vulnerability thats genuine.ever.

- He cares abt his outward appearance to a point where he deadass cant take a joke.Its fine if he picks on how you dress but for someone to do that to him??? No.

- Also has a bit of a substance problem. I headcanon him as enjoying a little bit of that cocaina and some opium from time to time.

Illuso:

- hes just a massive dickhead all year round

- Snoops worse than the rats in your walls ONG

- Zero privacy with this guy, he knows exactly what you’re doing all the time and will use that to pull shitty pranks on you

- He will also use said knowlege to your disadvantage. Cant back out of his dates due to a “tight schedule” because he knows everything you do in a week and should you try to bluff him HE WILL KNOW.Throws a tantrum like no other if you dont wanna hang out with him.

- Will guilttrip you into oblivion.Theres also a chance of him verbally and physically bullying you as means of all the attention to be on him.

- Believes hes a god sent gift to the world.why are you laughing???? Hes hot shit???

- Gaslighting is his middle name. Illuso cant take rejection at all, he cant accept someone he finds attractive to not feel the same about him.

- Narcissistic and a liar. He gives me the vibe of someone who will not tell you anything truthfull about what he does and who he is and thats due to both his workfield scaring off potential “bitches” and because he think no matter the person, theyll try to manipulate him into doing something he doesnt want/ useless to him.

- Possesiveness issues. Hell deny it into oblivion but the apple of his eye is his and his only- his jealousy knows no bounds so should you literally care abt anything or someone else hell turn it into a “its all about illuso” moment.

- Oh , youre getting all dolled up to go out, its for illuso. Reading a book? Youre doing it for him to notice!Shivering because you are cold?? You want him to come and hold you. Mind you theres a 50/50 chance hes applying said thinking to someone who is unaware of his existence.just like Ghiaccio.yikes.

Melone:

- his criminal record

- Depraved mf worse than the guys youd find on 4chan

- The type of guy you never want to own favours to under any circumstances

- he is a noncon enthusiast ,i wont elaborate

- Foot fetish . No.just no. Out of all body parts???? Really??!?!

- Lets not even talk abt his stand we all know they r meant to represent the persons soul…..so his just erm 👁👁

- To add to that, hes a bit of a psychpath, in the sense that as much as he seems eager to jump into someones pants, he lacks in the “human connection “ department.

- Idk man Melone gives me the vibes of an individual who can act normal but thats it, its all an “act”. His affections and speech is very coordinated, almost as if hes running an experiment with the person he finds attractive.You can sense that the persona he give off is not genuine, rather scripted- and it probably is because he fails to understand emotions to begin with.This will make you uncomfortable so kudos to that :(.

- Big time commitment issues. The probability of him seeking out several “bitches” at the same time in the same place is 99% likely and has in the past lead people into a sense of trust and security only to pull back and act like theyre a total stranger.

- His opinion changes like the weather depending on who he talks to. Melone has the ability to agree and disagree about a topic in the same sentence. Sure he can pick up on the topic and be quite informative,as long as its factual information.This can be a bitch to deal with if you ask him anything or are Ghia and wanna vent out your frustrations.

- Will definetly not care about your boundaries. The scary part is hell twist it so that should you try to protest or bring it up, itll fall on deaf ears.

- Got in trouble in the past for slipping drugs into peoples drinks to watch and see what happens for his own entertaintment,including his coworkers outside misions.

- He also wont hesitate to hack any device you use as means to finding blackmail in case you try anything funny.(and take some dna for babyface if he really considers you a nuisance)

Formaggio:

- personal hygiene has left the chat, id be very wary to shaking hands with this mofo becus he does not wash his hands, let alone anything else

- Probably makes very crude jokes at the worse moments in convos

- He also gives me the vibes of that kid in the neighbourhood who killed small animals and set fire to shit for fun.He prob still does this (this is supported by the spider torture scene and the fact that he treat his cat like shit)

- His pickup lines suck ass, you will visibly cringe

- Sneaky bastard, anyone who catches his attention has at some point or another been spooken by his ability to appear at any given moments due to his stand.Good luck trying to hide something from him or talk shit.Will also use his ability to be a complete creep and compliment how you smell of your underwear choice, even if you ,a, never uttered a word to him or ,b, were nowhere close near him…..yeh..

- Hes the one who will kiss ass so much to a point where everything he does and says ends up making him look slightly unhinged and desperate.Not below straight up pestering you until you finally agree to something ( sex or doing what he wants)

- He sure talks an awaful lot but thats about it. The old bark and no bite kinda deal. He will take you out to expensive dinner he says and then he takes you to the cheapest bar he can get drunk at, only to make you stop bringing his promises up again.Will act a stranger to your dissatisfaction!

- A bit of a leech. Hes known to have broken into his crushes house to “borrow something”, yes your valubles and underwear are gone.

- Good luck living with him because he doesnt pick up after himself at all.He makes the kitchen and bathroom a health hazard AND doesnt flush the toilet either.

- Another one with trust issues. Because hes a nuisance and a bit insecure ( but to lazy to put in the effort) hes bound to blame other people for things he does and will be very quick to accuse a person of not being faithful, even if theres zero evidence.Rebutting this will be hard and he can only be shot down by doing what he wants, and apologising even if you did nothing wrong.

- Hates being given the cold shoulder and will call you every name in the book if you dont stop.

- Will act clueless when things get hectic and only apologise after theres no chance of fixing it. “Sorry about the toaster bbygorl dw ill buy you another”. He wont, but will get mad about not getting to enjoy toast at your place anymore.

- Like Illuso he can be a bully. Will mock and pick on you to get a rise outta you and to make his teammates laugh. He will pretend like nothing is wrong AND get butthurt if you pull away from him when he wants a kiss.

Ghiaccio:

- ……… where do i start

- That scowl alone is enough honestly

- Hes got the posture of a shrimp, so fine so curved ( bitch me too) and its all because of his laptop use.

- I can see him try to impress someone by bitching abt something to appear smart but it ends up in a one way convo, even if you try to join in he cuts you off or talks over you

- Overly cocky . I applaud his determination to be the best™️ in everything he does- heres the problem, no body likes a smartass with a temperament aqute to that of a Tasmanian devil.

- Assumes things about his potential love interest but never actually asks whether or not said presumptions are true or false. And he never will, unless you spell it out for him due to his inability to admit he could ever be wrong about what their fav activities are, after all HE picked this person and HE knows best.

- He believes he can read a person to filth. Sure that may be true regarding anything to do with his work aka body language and weaknesses- but that doesn’t necessarily apply to personal stuff sooo….

- Issues with control. Ghiaccio will always have the upper hand in his relationship or so help whoever happens to be the closest to him.Genuinely cant envision this man feeling comfortable if the crush happens to be a bit more on the independent side of tings.As much as hed love a debate buddy hed rather you just agree with him so he can get to his point.

- And the funny part is that he’s probably a big hypocrite with that too.Ah the double standard of having to please a man who cant admit anyone being better than him yet at the same time wants somebody who he can swing about like a trophy and tell the rest of his teammates that they can shove it up their ass cuz “hes got the hottest bitch, and it wasn’t by means of money or threatening, its because hes JUST SO DAMN BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE”

- Ghiaccio’s keen eye and expertise in the how “to get bitches “ means he’s already on his third honeymoon with the love of his life who can only be so happy they get to fuck him and be tolerated by him and ooo theyre in the bedroom and-

- Have I mentioned this process of thinking is taking place whilst lurking and stalking the person rather than being a normal human being and just go and have a chat? Oh I haven’t? It’s probably because the ice gremlin has gone a few steps ahead of his plan but forgot to actually touch base with said person and is instead intently staring at them like a maniac without blinking.From across the room.Even Melone is throwing him side glances.

-Physical touch. Has a habit of being grabby should the crush show a smidge of interest in him.Ice boy will take every opportunity to have some part of him touching the person, annoyingly so, because he himself is touched starved.Dont try to reciprocate said touch unless you’re planning to be smothered consistently by his advances.If you’re thinking its soft uwu touches you’re very wrong. His composure makes it seem like he’s challenging you to a fight more than asking to snuggle.Very anxiety inducing and rather hard to get out of his grip once he has you.

- Lord forbid his target is talking to another person he deems a threat because hes prone to start fights and has ended many with plenty of people having a trip to the ER

- he drives with pure unadulterated malice and will curve swerve every chance he gets so any bitch he does get will definitely end up with severe nausea and promptly make an exit turn the moment they get out the car.

Sorbet and Gelato:

-Deadass, if they’re seeking anyone, that person will go missing.

- They have each other, thats facts, they are the bitches, the gay bitches.good for them

-I dont think anyone is capable of dealing with these two because all they care about is money and violence, anything else is considered unnecessary and a waste of time.

- Any “bitches” desiring their affections will be shot down on the spot, with a gun.Most likely by Gelato because hes a very possessive and jealous mf.Sorbet is very aware of this and unless hes bored and wants to see some discourse, he will be very unapproachable to a point where you have to be void of any fight or flight instinct to get close.

-Theyre a couple with a lack of care to anyone who doesn’t provide them with money, entertainment or drugs and the only affection they show is to one another.Any unlucky soul who somehow ended up in their bedroom will die miserably.

-Sadists with a capital ,s, if theyre down to be part of the hitman team for financial gain do you honestly believe they have any consideration for peoples lives, let alone their feelings???? Yeah no.

-Dont you also find it quite interesting that they were the first of the squadra to go?? Like for a second there sure, “it’s because they tried to get information” on diavolo, but I also have a feeling they could’ve been a genuine threat to the boss.I like to believe that if they didnt get offed so quickly, the way the squadra organised their traitor plans would’ve probably earned more damage to the Passione’s business than even Bruno’s team.