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steveroger · 3 years

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Colouring rainbow gifs

The lovely @buckiecap and @djarsdin requested a tutorial of some gifs from this TFATWS rainbow set.

My colouring process is kinda chaotic and it always depends on the gif itself. These three gifs will highlight the similarities and differences in how I colour my rainbow gifs.

You’ll need some understanding of basic gif making and adjustments. I use Photoshop 2021 but I imagine these processes will still work in other versions.

Some basic tips:

When doing rainbow sets, once I've got my base gif ready, I always make a hue/saturation layer on saturation +100 so I can see what colours I'm working with. I just keep it hidden so i can check how my colours are doing throughout the editing process.

Also something to stick at the back of your mind: you want your final gif to be as “monochromatic” as possible - make sure your final palette will be only black + shades of whatever colour you're targeting. This is not only to make the gif as colour-focussed as possible, but it also helps with saving your gif under 10mb. That saturation +100 layer I always keep hidden at the bottom of my gif so I can keep an eye on what colours are present.

It’s also helpful to understand how RGB and CMYK colours work and what to add/subtract when you want to bring out a certain colour. A good example of this is with Colour Balance:

You’ll notice the colours on the left are Cyan, Magenta and Yellow (CMYK), while the other side is Red, Green and Blue (RBG). So if you want more cyan in your image, you’d push the bar towards cyan, but then you’re compromising the reds. In Selective Colour adjustments, the panel is reversed.

This knowledge is absolutely necessary when you’re doing any adjustment, so keep this in the back of your mind as I work through the tutorial.

Green gif - Eli's door

So I start with my hue/saturation on saturation +100 to check what I’m working with here. This gif of Isaiah's grandson opening the door has green, yellow and red as the dominant colours, and I can see a bit of cyan on the right. I’ll keep that hue/saturation layer hidden as a reference.

Normally when I make gifs I start with a curve or levels layer to get any unwanted hues or create a more visible scene. But in this gif, I'm pretty happy with the colours, so I'm just using a simple curves adjustment, because I want to have whatever is behind the door as the ‘background’ and the door frame is the ‘foreground’, so only a slight adjustment is needed here.

Since the colours are already prominent, I'm going to make the green more visible and vibrant. I do this by using selective colour in the green colour to make the green stand out. When thinking of CMYK adjustments, you might think that Magenta -100 would work, as that normally pushes the greens, but I find that this makes things grainy and patchy looking, as you can see here:

Instead, I’m enhancing cyans and yellows, and only pushing the magenta back just a little bit towards green. I’m not sure why green specifically does this, but it’s useful to know this when you’re colouring.

With the yellows, I want to push those more as well, since the amount of yellow usually influences the green-ness of the gif.. I'm also going to max yellow too since that will also make the green pop, but I also have to be careful not to distort the skin colour too much. I also want to balance the skin tone with a little redness so he doesn’t look like he has jaundice (skin tone will be explored later in the gif process)

I've added another selective colour layer on top of that, only adjusting the greens just to make it pop a little more. Don’t be afraid to use more than one selective layer, this can really bring out vibrant colours if you use it right.

Just to get some more depth, I add a colour balance layer, again just subtly pushing the cyan and yellow up and not playing with the green too much. Then my usual last layers are with a vibrance and brightness/contrast - I’m usually quite generous with contrast so I can bring out the different shades and it makes things a little more vibrant too.

This next step is really important when colouring people with dark skin - you want to lower the redness from their skin so they don't look unnaturally orange, as you can see here:

There is a fantastic tutorial here about colouring dark skin tones and avoiding the orange-washed look, and I recommend all gif makers to take note! It's difficult especially when doing rainbow gifs, and it takes some practice. I do this with a hue/saturation layer, and specifically targeting red and yellow and reducing saturation. I might need to play with selective colour or colour balance to get it right. Luckily Eli doesn’t move around too much, so I can use a mask to adjust only his face.

And that’s the end product! now just ignore me as I re-upload the green gif in my set so you don’t see such a horrible jaudiced skin tone sldkfjsldkf

Yellow gif - Karli vs Sam

I'm gonna be completely honest here - this gif was very tricky to do. I actually have about three different versions of it. At first I thought "this is the yellow gif so I'm only going to have yellow tones", and did selective colour to get rid of any traces of green AND red, because I didn't want any orange at all. It ended up looking quite dull:

I mean.. yeah it’s yellow........... but it’s kinda boring. So I deleted all adjustments and watched the raw gif, and noted the orange light contrasting with the pale light. The raw gif itself already had some beautiful lighting - why get rid of it? It depends on what you want, but I like my rainbow gifs to have a different colour there to contrast with the main colour.

Starting off with a hue/saturation layer with saturation 100+, I can see there are clearly yellows and reds and a bit of green on the ceiling.

I thought the contrast of the orange and pale lighting was too good to mess up so I started with that. My first layers are vibrance and brightness/contrast to exaggerate the silhouettes and bring out the colours that are already there.

I added a channel mixer layer to narrow down the colours. I wanted to fill the white bits with yellow, and with channel mixer I’m able to manipulate colours into something else while still looking natural and blended. I won’t be doing too much colour manipulating here so the settings are very minimal. I don’t know how to explain it but it just takes a little fiddling to figure out what works for your gif. You’ll notice the white reflections on the ceiling are now a solid yellow colour:

Next is a colour balance layer. I'm basically trying to bring out the yellow out. This is really just trial and error. I added a bit of magenta to bring the depth of the orange colours in the darker shades:

Now for selective colour. I'm often adjusting all of these while hiding/showing the hue/saturation layer I have kept at the bottom. This time, I’m aiming to subtract the reds and bring it down to a warm orange, and I do that by bringing it towards cyan/away from red, and away from magenta/towards green.

Then I max out the yellows so it becomes the most dominant colour. I've also manipulated the green to make sure it is excluded from the gif - again, checking with the hue/saturation layer at the bottom, while keeping my eye on the ceiling and other places where I’ve noticed green lurking about. I don’t want any unwanted shades ending up in the final colour table.

Finally, I finish with yet another vibrance and brightness/contrast layer, just because I like things bright and vibrant!

And there it is! The orange is still there and adds a contrast, but you can tell that the main colour is the yellow. This gif seems very straightforward but I assure you, it took me quite a while to get this one right. This gif was a joy to work on because Sam was so very extra in this fight sequence lolll

Pink gif - suspicious mechanical grenade? idk

While this gif may look simple, it actually took a couple of tries before I got the colouring right. You'll notice when the ball activates, there is a bright green light that highlights the gas released and it reflects on the chair legs and carpet.

At first I tried this with the above mentioned selective colour method - which I thought turned out okay but it didn't sit with me right. Notice the reflection of the blue light on the carpet - it definitely isn't blue and more like a green-orangey kinda colour, and it doesn't look natural at all.

So I re-started from the beginning and had a look at what I’m working with, starting with hue/saturation at saturation +100. I can see that the original gif has red and green as the dominant colours, with yellow bits blending the two on the carpet. That’s what I was having issues with the selective colour - so I’ll be doing it differently.

Enter: channel mixer. I’m gonna be honest............. I have ZERO idea how the channel mixer really works! It’s all a matter of trial and error, but I’ll try and explain my process step by step.

I normally start in the blue channel (again - no idea why, it just works for me). I start with the reds, and I know if I go over 0, it will push the reds towards cyan, which will get it more purple-y:

Ooooh looking good!!! then I want to push the greens towards magenta, so that needs to go over 0 as well:

Woohoo! It’s already starting to look good. The green light and the way it blends into the red/pinks have all been completely changed into the cyan hues, so there’s a perfect reflection you can see on the carpet! Yay! I had a fiddle with the green and red channels but nothing too drastic. Here are the settings:

Even with just the single adjustment, I was already pretty happy with it and only did a few touch ups: I added a selective colour layer to bring out a more pinky-purpley colour, then a levels layer to brighten things up. It might seem very backwards to add a brightening tool at the end, but I didn’t want to mess up the original colour shades because I liked having the dark shadows lit up by the ball’s light.

And that’s it! Only three adjustment layers, but it took some time to play with the different adjustments and what worked best. Channel mixer can be really intimidating but it works like a charm when you manage to figure it out.

the end!

Finally I have to give credit to some amazing content creators and their brilliant colouring tutorials that have made such a huge impact in the way I edit. Some brilliant guides include:

this colouring tutorial by @favreaus

this colouring tutorial by @inejz-ghafa

this colouring tutorial by @meliorn

I hope this tutorial has been helpful! I’ve tried to explain myself as best I can, but let me know if you’d like any clarification or have any questions. I’m still learning how to do things, and honestly most times it’s just randomly clicking things until something works out!

#gif tutorial #coloring tutorial #rainbow gif tutorial #gif editing #completeresources #dailyresources #chaoticresources #allresources #photoshop tutorial #fyeahps #dailypsd #**mytutorial

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falcor-thee-luck-dragon · 3 years

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Let Chaos Reign

Chapter 4- People Of Earth

Summary: On the run from the Avengers in your search for a way off Earth, you meet some mortal annoyances along the way until a certain blue eyed human is able to find you wandering in the forest. But can he convince you to come back to the Avenger’s base with him?

Warning: action, blood, fighting, Bucky doing his best, slight fluff

Masterlist - Chapter 3

So Bucky had been thinking.

If finding Y/N was only as easy as looking at her red dot on the tracker, then damn, he could just teleport to her no problem. Unfortunately the worlds technology hasn't yet reached Star Trek technological advancements, nor can he teleport. It's been a long hectic couple days trying to find her which is starting to drive Bucky up a wall, how is she so sneaky? He can literally see her location at all times but yet she's evaded him at all costs without even trying, she doesn't even know a tracker is attached to the inside of her jacket.

And the team, they haven't been much help at all. They've decided to listen to Fury's orders and stay clear of Bucky's mission when it comes to finding the escaped demigod and bringing her back to the Avenger's base. A lot of help they are. At least Steve checks in for updates when he's not getting pulled into a training session by any particular person of the hour. Maybe the tracker doesn't even work. Maybe?

No, it's Stark made. It has to work, this problem is simply Y/N.

Bucky pulls off to the side of the road near a little park in some rural town way outside of New York City where he knows Y/N went through not even twenty-three hours ago. He opens his door, slamming it shut in frustration before taking in a big breath of fresh air. The day is slightly overcast yet he doesn't appear to mind it at all, having the hot sun blaring down upon him never feels very pleasant. Then again, maybe he's just more familiar with colder temperatures.

A crow flies down across the vacant road from him, it ignores Bucky as it jumps onto the road in order to pick at some road kill of a dead flattened squirrel. Bucky reverts his gaze when his eyes soon land upon a bent wooden telephone line further up the road where it looks like a car ran right into it. Wanting to stretch his legs for a bit and feed into his curiosity, Bucky jogs across the street and over to the area of flattened grass and wood splinters.

He observes the wreckage. Its just as he saw from farther away, a splintered post with pieces of wood spread across the grass from the impact. A couple glass chunks shimmer in the few rays of sunlight peeking out from behind the clouds. There are tire marks imprinted into the mudded ground leading up to the post, he crouches down to get a better look at the source of impact.

A dog barks in the background, its legs getting closer and closer to Bucky until a wet slobbery nose finds its way onto Bucky's right arm. The face of a golden retriever greets him as a young man races to the spot looking very embarrassed.

"Trout! Get away from the man, be nice! Be nice! He might not want your kisses!" He shouts desperately, "Trout!"

Bucky pets the friendly dog while his owner runs to their spot before standing to greet him, "He's fine, don't worry about it."

The red faced man smiles shyly, "I'm so sorry. He gets so excited whenever there's a stranger around I just don't understand it."

Bucky shakes his head, "It's fine, really. I like dogs."

The dog sniffs around Bucky's boots before sniffing the skid marks, "Oh I'm Gio by the way, sorry about my boy Trout. I love him but he can be a lot."

"Hi." Mutters Bucky, "I'm James."

"Nice to meet you..oh..Trout drop that piece of wood you nucklehead it's sharp!" The dog stops before dropping the wood, it starts sniffing around the grounds again. Gio looks at Bucky, "It's too bad what happened here, just last night too. Thank God nobody died! It's just unfortunate."

"What happened?"

Gio nods towards the splintered pole, "Some nutcase ran out in front of the guy driving and then bam, he just swerved to miss 'em and ended up totaling his car and getting a bruised collar bone. He's my neighbor. Poor guy, never got a proper look at the idiot who did it either so there's no one to blame."

Bucky's brows furrow, "No one saw who ran in front of your friend?"

Gio stops a second to think harder on the matter, "Hmm...okay wait a second Nick did say this person moved like faster then a frickin' deer. They were here one second and gone the next, right into the woods."

"Where is Nick now? Is he okay?"

"Oh yeah he's fine, just chillin' in his hospital bed for another day until his headache goes away. Guess he also got a concussion or something, some shit luck I tell you."

"Thank you, I gotta go." Says Bucky quickly before turning on his heels and jogging across the street. Leaving a very confused Gio to go run after his dog again.

There's a hefty possibility that Y/N had absolutely nothing to do with anything surrounding that crash, however, Bucky has to know. He pulls into the Westonville Hospital before Winter Soldier sneaking his way inside and now here he stands on the other side of the door to Nick's room, 213. He knocks, a man answers and says to come in, Bucky does. Shutting the door right after.

The man lays upright in bed, sipping on a juice box as he quickly locks eyes with Bucky. "Hello." Says the twenty-something year old, "You a nurse?"

Bucky could have laughed, "No. Just here to ask you a couple questions."

"Listen man, the police already got my statement. I wasn't drunk...nor on anything at the time. I don't do that shit while driving, I wanna stay alive okay?"

"Right." Mutters Bucky, "I just want to know if you saw this person who caused you to wreck."

He eyes Bucky suspiciously, "Dude are you with the FBI or something? Cause the police think I just saw a deer but I'm telling you it wasn't a deer okay?"

"What was it then?"

The man looks from the door then back to Bucky, he makes a waving motion for him to walk closer, "Dude, this was some lady. She was so fast I never even saw her till she was almost road kill...then....and you're not gonna believe me....then I swear to God, she pushed my car." Whispers Nick before nodding, "Dude that's how I went into the pole, she pushed me and I lost control and BAM! Right into a pole. Asshole, my damn car is fucked."

"Do you know what she looked like?" Nick then proceeds to give an accurate description of you and all your beautiful chaotic-ness, who's apparently still not very fond of human transportation vehicles.

Bucky then glances from Nick still rambling about you and what a dickhead you must be, to the window showing the woods and half a parking lot. He can't let you escape him again, you might end up killing someone next time and that absolutely cannot happen.

——

Stupid men! Stupid humans getting in your way! These people are irritating and bothersome, all you wanted was to search for the Ancient One in peace. All you want is to find her and get the fuck off this planet so you can confront your brother and...

"Miss are you okay?" A scratchy voice speaks to you from the car to your left, you turn your head to meet the face of a young woman looking at you with kind eyes, "You need a ride?"

"No."

She gives you a look, your appearance is admittedly more roughed up then you would like, but it's been a rough couple days since your last shower and you're technically on the run from Earth's Avengers. "You sure? I got room in here, and a nice place to stay with food and a shower too. Just tryna be nice to someone who looks like they could use a hand." You look like you could use a hand to the face.

Your brows furrow, she reeks of too much perfume and something else, "What kind of food?" You technically do need a ride and this may be your only chance to get one somewhere away from this place in the middle of nowhere. Also a place to stay for the night would be admittedly very nice considering you've been sleeping in trees and behind people's sheds.

Her eyes light up in surprise, "Anything you want. Just tell me and I got you."

"Good."

She unlocks the door, "Come on in. I'm Ava by the way. Nice to meet you, now I hope you don't mind but back at my place I got a couple roommates. But don't worry they come and go, they won't bother you I promise." You don't believe her, but hop in next to her anyways. She looks like she could use a better friend then whoever she stays with. You can smell at least one of them on her.

She gives you a strange faltering smile when you take notice of a nose piercing; she wears a jacket and jeans, although an odd tattoo showing off some line of numbers keeps itself on her right wrist hidden by some colorful bracelets. All in all she is an attractive woman. But her car is no better then her person, the scent is vulgar and repulsive but you're admittedly too hungry to care. Too much perfume.

The ride to her apartment complex takes about twenty minutes, in this time Ava has explained to you how her favorite food, chicken alfredo, is made. She also won't stop looking at the long mirror above your heads, it's like something keeps drawing her attention but there's nothing behind the car of any important significance. Maybe that's just a human thing?

Eventually she takes a couple turns that passes more street stores, houses, and apartments until she drives near a gas station and takes a left for an apartment building of reddish brick that looks like a shitty castle.

It's nestled within the town, with its rear to a small park, oddly enough she claims you can see the city from the roof. Getting out, you watch as she shuts her door before jogging to the back and pulling out a couple groceries. "Oh hey there, can you get the waters, there's like three packs here but we can come back for them later."

You quickly walk to the back of her trunk and lean down to pick up all three waters with ease, her eyes go big, "Oh wow..okay yeah, that'll work." She shuts the back, you begin following her across the parking lot. Stomach growling.

Her wary eyes fall onto you, "So uh, you lift?"

"No."

She nods, "Cool cool, uh you from around here?"

"No."

"Okay cool, I am, well not originally...I was actually from Arizona but then I ran away when I was thirteen because my home life was pretty shit and then I met my boyfriend Jed and he took me here and..." Her face shifts into a frown before it regains it's half smile once more, "Doesn't matter now I guess, it's not fantastic here...with him. But I got a place to stay and a roof over my head and he gets me anything I want really. So it's not so bad."

You can't help but feel somethings not right with her, and this bothers you deeply, "So uh, how's your lover? Jed."

She frowns, "Oh he's nice....I wouldn't say lover I guess....and he's kinda older then me but it's fine really. You might see him, he comes and goes yunno?"

She opens the glass doors for you to walk inside, the area smells of stale air and smoke, "How old?"

She purses her lips together, "Not that much older, I'm seventeen he's just a little above that. But it works for us, he's got me a nice place and he loves me so that's nice." Her smile falters, you can tell something isn't right here but can't quite place your finger on it.

Ava keeps silent for the rest of the trek upstairs until she leads you down a long hallway to a tall white door reading A8 on the front, a small glass porthole in the center. She gets her keys out, "Try not to touch anything, he doesn't like messes okay? Just uh, follow me okay, he might have a friend here."

"Alright then. Proceed." She gives a little nod before unlocking the door and opening it up to reveal a large apartment as clean as a button, with the exception of a few tall thin glass bottles empty of all liquid laying on the short glass table in the lounging area. A large screen is on showcasing something of little importance to you.

Ava sets the groceries on the kitchen counter before racing over to the short table, "Oh sorry about the mess, please just set the waters down by the trash can. Give me a moment." You look down to find a tall thin metal can, doesn't look like a trash can but you set the three cases of water down anyways.

Standing in the middle of her kitchen she hastily rushes in to drop the bottles in the trash can, "I'll put the stuff away, do you-do you want anything?"

"Whatever gives me enough strength to continue on my journey."

"Right. Yeah okay uh we got," She opens up the fridge, "we got some burritos from last night. And fruit....a lot of beer....you don't want that. Here, I'll heat this up for you okay." She shuts the fridge and takes the assumed burrito to another square object hanging from the wall. She pops open the door before placing the food inside and shutting it.

She turns it on. "What is that device?" You ask a sit makes a strange vacuum sound.

She raises a brow, "A microwave." Voice on the tinge of humor, the microwave beeps and she soon opens it back up. "Here ya go! It's a day old so don't worry, still fresh."

She hands it to you, you look down at the warm thing wrapped in a brown paper, "Appreciated."

Your meal is well received and admittedly pretty delicious, once finished do you walk over to the giant glass window to have a look outside, you can see the tops of many trees and farther away across the greenery lays a city just as Ava had spoken of.

Maybe the Ancient One resides somewhere in there, hidden, but within the ginormous labyrinth of steel, cement, and glass. Farther down the hallway a door swings open and the pattering of bare feet is heard walking down the tiled floors of shiny white. This place really is clean, like a small palace for the mortals.

The man stops at the end of the halls archway though you don't care to look at him, "Ava who's the bitch over there? I thought Jed wasn't buying anymore for a few weeks." Whispers the man to the kind woman, Ava, who stands frozen in the kitchen.

You immediately don't like him, but stay your ground to listen, she whispers back, "She's a friend. Needed somewhere to stay for a day or so."

He walks over to her, "He's gonna be pissed when he sees your new friend here. If she's not here to sell, get her the fuck out before your man comes home tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah tonight. His trip to Vegas ended yesterday, he's on his way. Don't you know how time works?"

She shakes her head, "Guess I just forgot is all. I'll make sure she's gone."

He looks over to give you a proper once over, you can hear his heartbeat quicken, "Not too bad either. Nice ass, she looks good..real good, it's a damn shame she's not here to stay for the fun. I wouldn't mind a couple of rounds with her myself."

Your fists clench, you've had enough of this jabbering animal, "Oh really?" You turn around to watch as his eyes go wide when they take notice of the golden color of your irises, "What filth you spill off of that thing you call a mouth is repulsive and disgusting. Who are you may I ask?"

He quickly retains his swagger once again, he takes a step forward, "I'm Jed's right hand man, Antonio, I run this bitch when he's away and I don't like how you're talking to me."

"I'm not entirely fond of your existence. Leave us, I want to speak with Ava alone."

Antonio's face shows bewildered rejection, "Excuse me?"

You take a threatening step forward, "I don't believe my tongue slipped. You heard me correctly. Leave." He keeps still as a statue, mind still processing your words. Clearly no on had ever bothered to talk to him like this before.

He blinks and points a hand up for emphasis, "No whore tells me what I can and can't do in my own goddamn house!" He immediately rushes past Ava to grab something under the kitchen bar.

She gasps in surprise, "Tony no! Don't do this! Put it away she didn't mean it, she doesn't I swear! I swear!"

He walks back around to shove her into the couch, "Shut up." He throws up his arm to reveal a black hand held object that could be nothing else but a small gun, you stare at it in curiosity, expression interested and unfazed.

He doesn't like that, he tilts the gun at you angrily, "What's up now huh! You ain't telling me to do nothin' I run this fucker up in here! So you're gonna fuckin' listen to me you whore! I'll fu.." Antonio's body stiffens, his eyes go wide as saucers when he realizes he's not able to move, not able to speak.

Hands kept to your sides, you curl the fingers of your right hand to bloodbend this imbecile. Moving this hand to the right, Antonio's grasp is forced open and the gun clatters to the floor. "What are you doing!?" Shouts Ava fearfully.

"Teaching a dog a lesson."

Curling the fingers of your other hand, Antonio is forced to walk in staggered painful steps across the carpet at your will, Ava gasps in fright as she watches your little horror show. "Men don't treat their people like animals, you want to act like a beast. Then you'll be one."

His throat makes a dry crackly sound as he tries to scream when you move your hands to orchestrate a new action, Antonio is forced to his knees where he crawls like a dog across the clean carpet. A frightened man he becomes, his movements choppy and forced, body awkward and stiff as he moves on all fours. Proud of your work, you walk over to the man and crouch down to reach his level, "You see, the universe has created us all for a reason. Whether we are powerful or not, that control we have can be taken as it can be given."

He mumbles a reply that cannot be heard properly even by your hears.

"You know of your power?" He shakes his head as you smirk, "Your strength is built from fear and hatred. That is no way to find your place in the world, that is how tyrants lead."

Drool runs down the side of his mouth as his eyes look up to you pleadingly. "Stop it! You're hurting him!" Shouts Ava.

You give Antonio a pitiful look, "I know. And this creature deserves more then I'm willing him to do, but because you've gained my respect. I will release him." Standing, you flick your hands and Antonio is released from your trance. He coughs and sputters in a curled up heap on the floor like a beaten old dog.

"Pathetic." You mutter dryly as Ava breaths heavily from the couch.

"Wh-what are you?" She whispers, "Are you a witch?"

"No. But I am someone who is done with this place." You give her a respectful tilt of your head, "Ava, I thank you for your hospitality, but I must leave." She watches as you take one last look around the room before walking towards the closed door. Turning the handle you're prepared to exit when she screams. "Antonio no!"

Boom!

The bullet stops three inches from the back of your head, whipping around to face your assailant, he fires two more rounds as you halt the bullets in their tracks. He registers what's happening and quickly chooses to pull the trigger again. As a plethora of steel flies your way, you raise an open palm that causes them all to freeze in place.

The room goes deathly silent before Antonio takes a single step and you've sent all five bullets straight through his vulnerable flesh. Blood flies across the walls as he slumps to the ground while Ava gasps in terror, too afraid to make a sound.

You frown, gaze set on Ava, "I'm sorry I had to do this in front of you. He gave me no choice, but I think this loss will not be mourned over." Your golden eyes flicker back down at the bullet ridden body, "A quick death is more then he deserved. So long Ava, be brave."

The door opens.

"What the fuck happened here?!" Speaks a man most certainly in his late thirties as he sets something on the ground, "Who's this bitch?"

Ava's expression shifts to fear as you let out a tired sigh, eyes set to the man you know as Jed, "An old friend." ——

Crouched down by a river, you rub off flecks of blood that dissipate into the murky water like forgotten memories. You just wanted to eat and rest a while as you gathered your thoughts. But here you are, you've killed two humans and have damaged a couple busses in the process of it all. Not to mention that one car the other night...at least that man kept his life.

This realm is complicated and busy, there's not enough wilderness to hide in and there are certainly too many prying eyes that can catch you with their small square devices easier then you'd like. Thankfully Ava had not seen your rampage on the internet so she wasn't able to instantly recognize you. Then again you weren't wearing your armor.

However your eye color certainly doesn't aid you in finding a way into the city close by, that's still too far for your liking, people will undoubtedly stare. At this point you don't trust a single soul, and anyone close enough to see your face would most likely report you to the authorities in an instant.

Your goal has been thwarted one too many times and that shit does not fly with you one bit. Find the Ancient One, have her open a portal to your realm, and from there kick your brothers ass. It's all very simple, well at least it should be. Stupid Midgardians.

Hrrrrr Hrrrrrrrr! A loud horn blares from within the woods to your back right, twisting around and standing at attention, your fists emit flame when a huge lumbering mass of metal rolls through the trees practically making the ground shake.

It sounds like a tiny thunderstorm, you've never seen anything like it except for when you where in Norway but that vehicle was significantly smaller and less loud. "God this place is insufferable." You mutter, annoyed by the less then peaceful atmosphere of Midgard.

So far you've evaded the watchful eyes of the Avengers for the past three days and have gotten nowhere on your quest for vengeance. And now this thing just adds to your stirred up pot of frustration.

Taking a breath, you decide to wander through the trees until you've found the tracks where that metal vessel was drawing its power from, oddly enough the steel bars attached to plates of wood does not give off energy. Strange.

Figuring it must be the vehicle itself, you sway your mind from pondering the idea as your thoughts drift to that of home and the necklace hidden around your neck. This valued object was your dying mother's, a heirloom of your linage, and a damn powerful piece of jewelry.

But your brother and his wicked ideas, he wanted to use it for his grant thoughts of tyranny and power over the nine realms. A fool, no one could ever claim such a feat, no place needs rules like such from one being calling all the shots. It's madness.

It's insane.

Shaking your head, you keep following down the tracks as you listen to the sounds of cars in the far off distance. Birds chirp and flutter by while minding their business in the forest, although you could have sworn you heard a soft thud in the dirt behind you. A shuffle of stones maybe?

A deer perhaps? No, this is no deer; halting your trek to the city, you place your hands upon your hips before slowly turning around, "I'd expected as much. You are a clever man after all....Bucky."

The dark haired man greets you with a shy grin as he stands there off to the side of the tracks, dressed in casual attire like that when you saw him in Norway. He seems genuinely happy to see you, "I wish I could stay away." Replies Bucky in a playful tone, "But you've killed two human traffickers and I gotta make sure you don't hurt anyone else. Even if they deserve it."

You scoff, "I could end your life right now if I wanted to, kill all your friends next and then burn this world to ash and dust trying to get what I want. No matter the cowards I've killed."

He shrugs, "That sounds harsh. I'd rather you didn't actually, kinda like being alive." He's such a smartass in the best way, yet you hold back a smile to keep your noble aurora about you.

"Fair point I suppose. This Earth may be greatly flawed, but I have no qualms with the people here but that of my own business."

"Right. Your own business, finding the Ancient One and dealing with your brother and all that stuff." Nods Bucky, "Y/N, you know we could help you..."

"I don't need it! I'll find my way through this planet myself. Alone!" You shout, causing the trees to creak and moan from a surplus of wind that blows Bucky's hair about. He knows what you're capable of, but he has to try and persuade you anyways.

He looks almost apprehensive to approach you, "Y/N please. I know we all got off on the wrong foot, probably by a lot. But my friends are good people, we want to help you find what you're looking for. I promise you that." Says Bucky with a pleading look, "No lies. I promise."

You give him a conflicted glare as you think of your options; he found you somehow, he legitimately wants to help, and you desperately need a way off this damn planet. Maybe they do know a way, maybe they'll actually be able to help you, maybe Bucky is truthful?

He goes to take a step forward when you throw a hand out, "Stop." He keeps still as you take a breath, "Bucky, you give me your word?"

"I do."

"Promise!"

Raising his hands up, he gives you a sincere look, "I promise Y/N."

Taking a long moment to think over his words, you finally nod, "Good." He watches as you walk across the tracks until you're within a couple feet of him, he swallows, unsure if you might have just lied and are about to set him on fire. Instead he's relieved when you gift him a tight lipped grin, "Fine then, let us leave this place."

"Awesome.....yeah, okay good...well I'm parked back that way. We can just walk on the tracks instead of through the woods. Easier that way." He takes a couple steps back the way you came, when you don't move does Bucky stop and reach a hand out for you to take, "I'm not going to hurt you Y/N, I promised I'd help you remember?"

"I haven't forgotten." You quickly answer him.

"Good because I intend to keep it." He smiles softly, beautiful stormy blues focused all on you with a gloved hand ready for you to take.

You shake your head before walking past him, "Fine but I'm not shaking your hand."

Bucky chuckles to himself as he watches you practically swagger down the side of the tracks away from him. Quickly does he break from his staring trance to jog over to your side. The two of you walk for a little ways in complete silence until you glance over at him when your curiosity gets the better of you. There's just one tiny question you still need answered, "Well, how'd you find me?"

Bucky holds back a grin, "Your pocket." He points down towards your jackets pocket. Giving him a look of confusion, you reach down and feel inside for whatever he's on about, suddenly your fingers touch something round and metal attached to the inside wall.

Taking a hold of this odd device, you tug it loose before bringing your hand into the open, "What the hell is this?" You ask.

Bucky reaches out to take the object from you, he holds it up, "This. Is a tracker."

"That thing? It's like a thick coin, how does it manage to do such a feat?"

"Technology, radio waves. It's not my design, but with it I was able to follow where you went. Granted you're more elusive with your traveling then I'd first realized, but it did it's job...and now I'm here."

"Yes, now you're here. Maybe you really are braver then I first thought, or just a plain fool. I could have stuck to my word and killed you." You snap your fingers, "Just like that."

He chuckles, "I had a feeling you wouldn't."

"Oh really? What made you assume I would be merciful?"

"When we met for the first time in Norway, and later at the base. You didn't hurt me, well I guess I should say you didn't try and squeeze the life out of me. Or set me on fire.."

"I set your jacket on fire." You point out as he smiles.

"You did. I liked that jacket too." Muses Bucky, "Still, you let me live both times. Even let my friends live too, Y/N, I don't think you're so bad at all."

You hum in thought, "Your words are kind and humbling. But I do not feel worthy of such claims." He has no idea who you are, what you've done. So much he doesn't know.

Bucky frowns, "Why not?"

"I have done nothing but add more chaos to this realm with my existence here, I have been betrayed and for that I was filled with rage taken out on innocent people living their lives. I want to be worthy of what you say I am, but I am not." His heart hurts at your valiantly honest words, if only he could understand completely.

"Believe me Y/N, you aren't nearly as bad as you think you are. There's been way worse people throughout history here before you ever showed up."

"I believe your words though my personal occurrence's chance to lessen these people compared to what I have done centuries ago. Do not misinterpret all of what I speak, I understand there are always beings harming others for their own sick pleasure, however I did not frighten for enjoyment. Quite the opposite."

He could just about give up his metal arm forever just to know what the hell you're talking about. What kind of life did you live before all of this? Bucky soon takes out a small square device with his one gloved hand, "I trust your word on that. And hopefully we're able to help you...I just gotta get us a ride out of here first." He turns on a black screen and slides his finger across to unlock, "I have where I parked pin pointed via another tracker."

"You don't recall where you've come from?"

"Yeah, I mean no..no, I do remember the direction I came in, it's just I was running so fast to find you I forget exactly where my car is. Don't worry this will only take a moment."

Holding back a grin at the way he muddles around on that screen of his, you divert your gaze elsewhere to look around at the trees and other various greenery spread about as usual on a planet such as this one. It's fascinating, almost like that of your home world in Vanaheim. How you miss that place. The vast mountains spread throughout the landscape, huge lumbering trees taller then the cellphone towers you've passed, and great skies of blue where dragons fly at will.

Suddenly a stick cracks in the trees to your right, you turn while Bucky pays little attention, a crow flies out and into the blue sky it goes. Easy now, just a bird, nothing more. The wind picks up for a second and you can almost catch the scent of sulfur when a ball of fire erupts from the trees ready to kill.

The spherical flame screams towards you and Bucky, who's by now dropped his phone onto the tracks, "Y/N watch out!" He shouts fearfully, hand gripping onto your shoulder as you keep a strong fearless stance to the approaching flame.

Throwing a hand out, you divert the ball into the gravel where it bursts like a small firework, rocks flying everywhere as you stand at the ready for whatever happens next. "Y/N! What the hell was that!" Shouts Bucky.

"A scout. I think one of my brother's loyalists found me."

"A scou..." Another ball of flame soars towards the two of you and then another right behind it as you maneuver your body to deflect each of them in quick succession when out of the scorched trees does a smirking woman reveal herself. Her smile is proud and wicked, taller then Bucky she stands and impeccably strong she appears.

She wears armor closely resembling your own, but instead of blues, silver, and white. Her armor is black and red, silver replaced with shimmering obsidian as she walks into the evening light. Her eyes flicker gold like your own, she tilts her head at you, "Princess Y/N of Vanaheim. An honor to meet you, truly." She bows with mockery, you immediately despise her.

"What dog is this who speaks to me?"

She grimaces, "Aüla, master of flame, Phoenix of Vanaheim, I am here to bring what stolen jewelry lays upon your neck. What belongs to King Leyondros." She points a sharp nailed finger to your neck, "That, is a house Lavpranthus family heirloom."

"You think I was born yesterday? That incompetent tyrant who dare claim himself as king does not deserve what treasure I possess. He is barely a brother to me now, and you, what business do you serve?"

She smirks, gifting Bucky with a wink as she wiggles her fingers with flame, "He's sent his best out to find your whereabouts since he's exiled you. I just happened to be lucky enough to land on Midgard where wouldn't you know it, here keeps the banished Princess herself. I couldn't be more fortunate." She opens up her palm like a needy child, "Now Y/N, the object I so desire."

"You will die trying."

She holds up a threatening fist of hot flame, "I will be bathed in riches! I will be loved! King Leyondros will welcome his champion with open arms as I present him with the necklace stolen by his traitor sister! With grand tidings of her annihilation!"

You share a dark look with Aüle as you step in front of Bucky, "I do not care to know what bargaining from the beasts of this realm you made to find me. And I certainly do not care for the false promises my brother has warped into your mind, you cannot take my life and you cannot have this necklace."

She calls flame into both hands, "Then I'll take it off your burnt corpse!" She thrusts her hands forward causing a burst of hot orange flames to shoot like dragon fire straight for yourself and Bucky.

Anticipating this action, you create a wall of your own fire that shatters her advances, you turn to the wide eyed brunette, "Bucky forgive me for not handling this sooner. I hadn't realized she was here."

"It's fine." Mumbles Bucky, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths as he stares fearfully at the angry woman spewing fire at you still.

Focused back on Aüla, she suddenly begins creating whips of flame that crack and slash at the air. She throws a whip towards Bucky but you're able to deflect it easily, in retaliation of her advances, you thrust a burst of dusty wind knocking her backwards.

She tumbles across the gravel like a discarded sack of potatoes, jumping gracefully down from the high point of the tracks, you land nearby this hellfire spawn who staggers to her feet. Rubbing the dust from out of her eyes, she coughs, "Foul play Princess, I should have guessed you'd cheap shot."

"You still believe you're leaving here with my necklace?"

Leaving her charcoal stained eyes be, she opens her palms to flame, "Well I certainly don't intend on perishing at your hand. I will get what I came for."

You throw a quizzical look, is she insane? Not wanting to ponder her mental stability, you use the gravel to crawl it up to her knees where it fuses and roots itself into the ground, she flails her arms trying to regain balance. Angered by this, Aüla clenches her fists, tightly hugging them to her chest as she concentrates.

A small orange glow emits from the center of her chest before she screams while opening her arms to the sky and with that her whole body erupts with flame like that of a Phoenix reborn. Tree branches and leaves alike are burnt and singed nearby while her anchor is melted. Aüla levitates freely now, body a mass of hot flames as she stares furiously down at you with eyes of black charcoal.

"Behold the Phoenix! Now you will obey by law of the one true king!" Fire is thrown like thin arrows towards your face, again, easily deflected into the gravel below.

She chuckles darkly, thrusting a hand of intense flame that causes you to fall backwards across the ground. Pushing yourself up by the pads of your hands, she takes this vulnerable moment to race after Bucky with wings of fire.

Face contorted like a melted candle, her arms open wide as she prepares to embrace Bucky to the flames. Jumping up, you bend your arms, moving them in opposite directions on a linear path to conjure some type of protection. Aüla slams into an enchanted force field of dark blues that sends her flailing backwards like a bursting firework.

Regaining her balance, she levitates, scowling in disgust, "You? Would protect this mortal man?"

Your gaze falls onto Bucky, he's standing there, expression fearful and wide as he looks at you desperately. You take a step forward, "I will."

"But why? He is nothing compared to you, to us, he's simply an insect on a leaf."

"He is someone who has showed me more kindness in the last couple days then some of my own people have in the past hundred years!" You shout furiously before using your magic to paralyze her like you did with Wanda and Vision.

She struggles to move but all efforts are unfruitful, "Do not! Don't. You. Dare!" She screams as you take another fearless step towards her, raising your hands in a beautiful fluid motion, her obsidian irises flash with terror.

"Aüla, Phoenix of Vanaheim, I admire your efforts and valor. But I am not so merciful when my life as been threatened, as someone of these nine realms with some type of authority still. I, Y/N Lavpranthus of Vanaheim, condemn you to die." Your golden eyes flash with a noble flair of judgment while your hands sway like subtle waves on a beach.

"No. No. Nooo..." Her screams are eradicated when a burst of water consumes her entire vessel, she sizzles and smokes as you draw the river water away to reveal nothing but discarded broken armor. She never even noticed you were doing this.

As a plethora of water dissipates into steam from where she once stood, more liquid fills through the cracks in the gravel while you slowly wander over to the dark spot stained onto the center tracks. Kneeling down, you pick up an obsidian gauntlet cracked down the middle curve. "Who was that?" Asks Bucky from behind you.

"One of my brothers scouts. His best fire-bender.." You study the intricate markings that dance like vines around the metalwork, "..a phoenix in human form."

There is a long pause before he asks, "Why are you being hunted Y/N?"

You sigh, head bowed to the earth, "It's a long story."

Bucky frowns down at you, he's not sure what to do, but he knows you're deeply troubled by whatever events have led you to this point. A comforting hand rests upon your shoulder, "You don't have to tell me now. But I think we should go."

Dropping the broken gauntlet onto the dark stained wood, you stand, "Perhaps you're right. Who knows what else lurks in the shadows waiting to pounce. I'd rather not have you injured on my behalf."

Bucky shares a lopsided grin, "Appreciated. Now come on, I know the way home." Directs Bucky as the two of you begin walking down the tracks for wherever he speaks of.

Maybe these people aren't as bad as you'd first thought, unfortunately there are still evils that are desperate to find you. Until that time comes again.

Tagged: @buckylokisimp @diegos-butt @minigranger @bibliophilewednesday @holyhumorliteraturelight @lilacs-lavender @a-girl-who-loves-disney @bizarrebibitch @starkssnarks @vikingqueen28 @jmstz @thehornytitties @staygoldsquatchling02 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @mischiefmanaged71 @noragracebrewer @atomicpersonacheesecake @thescarlettvvitch @shawnartmendes

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x you #the winter soldier x y/n #the winter soldier x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #series #bucky barnes series #my work

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writerofthecourt · 4 years

Text

ushijima, sakusa, iwaizumi, and shirabu being protective of their mute!girlfriend

warning: some bullying and harassment, very slight time skip spoilers, slight mention of injury and blood

a/n: for you, anon! i hope you guys enjoy

EDIT: this is a reupload because tumblr kept deleting me from the tags

ushijima wakatoshi

honestly, you guys were a weird couple

ushijima’s a man of few words, while you’re a person of no words

tendou was 100% convinced that you guys had some weird couples’ telepathy going on

(no one tell him that it’s just text messages and a pen and paper)

for the most part, everybody at shiratorizawa was cool with your relationship

everyone except for ushijima’s fangirls

“i don’t know what he sees in her. she’s not even that pretty”

“maybe he likes charity cases”

you ignored the two girls as they followed after you, your indifferent attitude only further fuelling their anger

“oi, [l/n]. don’t ignore us. you really think you’re too good for us just because you’re dating ushijima-kun?”

“he’s probably just taking pity on you since no one else would want your mute self”

their insults didn’t stop, not even as you approached the gym

“why does ushijima-kun even bother with you?”

“yeah, he would be so much better off without you”

it was at this time that ushijima had just returned from refilling his water bottle and happened to overhear the conversation

“i’d have to disagree with you,” your boyfriend proclaimed

“u-ushijima-kun, where did you come from?” one of the girls stuttered

“[y/n] is a wonderful person, and i’m lucky to have her,” ushijima continued unwaveringly. “i don’t agree with your comments. apologize to [y/n] at once”

at this point, the two girls knew that there was no winning in this situation

they exchanged a nervous glance with one another before hastily throwing out an apology. “s-sorry, [l/n]”

you tried not to smirk as the two girls quickly walked away, embarrassed that their idol had seen them in such a bad light

you sent your boyfriend an appreciative smile before he happily took a hold of your hand and led you towards the gym

in conclusion: no words were needed when the two of you were together

sakusa kiyoomi

when news broke out that you and sakusa were dating, sakusa was livid

not only was it an invasion of privacy, but the fact that it was atsumu’s fault made sakusa even more mad

the idiot forgot to crop you and sakusa out of the background of his stupid selfie

#sakusaandmysterywoman started trending online before sakusa had to eventually tell everyone the truth

“[y/n]’s my girlfriend. leave us alone,” was all sakusa tweeted before social media caught on fire and exploded

like with any celebrity dating scandal, there was some backlash from the fans, especially from the crazy ones who accused you of stealing away their precious omi-kun

eventually, everything settled down, and the fans became a lot more supportive of you and sakusa’s relationship

this led sakusa to being more comfortable about sharing pieces of his relationship with you online

although he was clearly happy, this didn’t stop his overzealous fans from constantly insulting you

“why does [y/n] never say anything when omi-omi gives her a compliment?”

“ngl [y/n] seems kind of rude. i feel like sakusa deserves better”

“omi-kun should be with someone who’s actually worthy of him. [y/n] ain’t it chief”

the only reason why sakusa didn’t respond to any of these people was because you told him not to, and he wanted to respect your wishes

it wasn’t until an especially concerning tweet about a fan “paying you a visit” that sakusa finally had to put a stop to all of this nonsense

“to anyone insulting or even going as far as to threaten my girlfriend, just stop. if you can’t support my decision, then i don’t need you. you are not a ‘true’ fan. i love [y/n], and i’m happy with her. to all of you who have been supportive of my relationship with [y/n], thank you. i don’t say this enough, but i truly appreciate you guys”

after sakusa’s tweet, #omi[y/n] started trending in support of you and sakusa’s relationship, which finally put a stop to all of the online hate

in conclusion: blame atsumu

iwaizumi hajime

when iwaizumi asked if you wanted to go see a movie with him on the weekend, you were over the moon

you knew just how busy your boyfriend was with volleyball practice, so you weren’t too pushy when it came to dates

you made sure to put a little extra effort into your outfit and appearance that day because you wanted to look cute for you boyfriend

unfortunately, this also caught the eyes of guys other than iwaizumi

“hey, cutie. you by yourself?” a flirtatious male close to your age asked. “i wouldn’t mind keeping you company”

you tried not to blanch as you took a step back and shook your head, indicating that you weren’t interested

this did nothing to dissuade the flirtatious guy, as he offered you a charming smile. “you can pick the movie if you want to. come on, it’ll be fun”

you were about to walk away when an all too familiar arm securely placed itself around your shoulder in a protective hold

“leave her alone. she’s not interested,” your boyfriend scowled

“says who?”

“says me. got a problem?”

“w-whatever, man. you can have her”

as the flirtatious guy began to walk away, the harsh glare on iwaizumi’s face soon transformed into worry as he turned to look at you. “sorry i’m late. are you okay? you’re not hurt, right?”

you nodded your head in reassurance while offering iwaizumi a gracious smile

your boyfriend smiled back before placing a gentle kiss just below your eye

“i’ll always be there to protect you, okay?” iwaizumi reminded you

you nodded your head once again, never doubting him for a moment

in conclusion: don’t mess with the seijoh arm wrestling champion

shirabu kenjirou

for the most part, you liked being the manager of the boys’ volleyball team

the shiratorizawa players were always chaotic and funny, and you were proud to call yourself a part of the team

although, if there was one thing to complain about, it would definitely have to be some of their fans

you were in the middle of bandaging shirabu’s injured finger when a chorus of high-pitched cheers rang out from near the gym doors

“[l/n], go deal with that,” coach washijo grumbled in annoyance

you sent your boyfriend an apologetic smile before signing to him to continue applying pressure in order to stop the bleeding

grabbing your pen and notebook, you wrote down a quick message before walking over to where the three girls were standing

please keep your voices down, your note read

“we’re just cheering on the players," one of the girls said

"yeah, what’s wrong with that?” another girl remarked

you’re distracting the players from practice

“well, must be easy for you since you can’t even seem to speak at all,” the last girl replied mockingly, followed by the laughter of her two friends

shirabu, who had been listening to the conversation, immediately got up from the bench to go stand next to you

“you three have been nothing but nuisances this whole time, and everyone agrees with me,” shirabu snapped furiously. “if you can’t be quiet, then leave!”

after shirabu’s angry outburst, the three girls promptly quieted down

you’re too nice, your boyfriend signed after the two of you returned to the bench

well, you know what they say. opposites attract and all that

oh, shut up

you only smiled in response as you finished bandaging shirabu’s finger before pressing a light kiss to the back of his hand

“stop mocking me with your cute couple-y-ness!” tendou screeched from across the court, having just witnessed your adorable exchange

“tendou! five laps around the school!”

in conclusion: stop yelling in the gym!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjirou x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #sakusa kiyoomi #iwaizumi hajime #shirabu kenjirou #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert

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ickle-ronniekins · 4 years

Text

silent confessions

request from nonnie! “Hey erica! I have a request for you, it's a bit challenging i think but I'm sure you'll do perfectly. Imagine like, the fake dating trope with fred, BUT at the end it's a george x reader? Like, imagine george feeling uncomfortable and jealous seeing the reader and fred acting like a couple even though he knows its not real and stuff anyway im obsessed with your writing love you bye”

pairing: fred x reader, george x reader

word count: 3.8k

A/N: wait, i loved this request. so different from the normal fake dating tropes! i hope this lived up to expectations.. idk why i just feel like my writing sort of sucks in this?? wah, idk, sad, feedback pls? also we’ve got some POV changes in this but they’re pointed out ayyyee, thanks for enduring the fluffiest fluff ever bc that’s all i have to give you hooligans

tag list: @mintlibri @georgeweasleyx @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @darling-details @laneygthememequeen @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @bobduncanlover @dreamer821 @feffffffy @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan

You

You could practically hear the smirk that grew on his face — he wasn’t exactly being subtle. He took his place next to you in the Great Hall, ignored the fact that you were removing spellbooks and quills from your bag to begin your work, and didn’t bother to heed Snape’s warning glance.

“Hey, Y/N?”

Fred’s voice was a little too sweet for your liking; sweet as sugar, in fact. You knew this voice. It’s the voice he always put on whenever he needed a favor — whenever he wanted something from you. You didn’t look up from the table.

“Whatever it is, I think I’m going to pass.”

He scoffed and closed your spellbook. You grunted in annoyance; you were positive he wasn’t going down without a fight, but you supposed you still needed to try, even though you knew in your heart that this was a fight you wouldn’t win. You turned toward him and he batted his eyelashes at you.

“Dear, dear Y/N — you won’t pass when I tell you what’s in it for you.”

“What type of chaotic mischief that you have planned could possibly be beneficial to me?”

He digested this; you were right, and he knew it. He just shrugged, though, took in your rejection and tried to use it to his advantage.

He nodded across to the other end of the Gryffindor table; there sat Angelina Johnson — fellow Gryffindor, member of the DA, Quidditch captain and, to your most recent knowledge, Fred Weasley’s crush. Again. Boy was crazy about her.

“Thought we already tried this, Freddie?” you sighed, stealing your spellbook back from his very tight grasp and opening it to your desired page. He huffed a bit, and you were quite sure he was remembering the disaster that was the Yule Ball, just a year ago.

You noticed a small grin lift his cheeks; he looked rather smug now, which made you worried. What was it, exactly, that he had planned? “I know last year didn’t go exactly as I’d hoped.” Right. Fred had gotten a little too sloppy on his date with Angelina. She’d been a bit turned off. The night ended and she never pursued anything else; he was so embarrassed, neither did he. Fred Weasley? Embarrassed? The word wasn’t even in his day to day vernacular. But boy, was he shook.

“But it was a long time ago — besides, she’s been sending me all types of signals.”

“I don’t think her eye rolls mean she fancies you, Fred.”

He jabbed you playfully in the ribs. “Don’t be rude, Y/N. I know she fancies me. I just know it. You don’t go on just one date with Fred Weasley.”

You scoffed at his air of egotistical confidence; you shut your eyes at the prospect of him maybe going to someone else for help. Much to your dismay, it didn’t happen. He just stayed where he was, resting his chin on his hand, peering at you longingly as if his staring alone would convince you to say yes to whatever he had up his sleeve. After a few minutes, you said, “If I agree to help you, you prat, will you leave me alone?”

“Can’t say leaving you alone would exactly work with what I’ve got planned,” he replied, relaxing now, tapping his foot underneath the table and not taking his eyes off of Angelina. “I need you to pretend to date me.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Relax, Y/N, I’m not going to pin you against the wall and snog you, if that’s what you’re so worried about,” he laughed, running a hand through his hair. You felt as though your throat was closing up at the mere thought of it. “Just some hand holding, things of the like. Need to make her jealous. Need to make her realize what she’s missing.”

You groaned in frustration. “Can I take back what I said?”

“Nope,” he answered brightly. “You can’t. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Don’t get in too deep, though. No falling in love with me, alright?”

You felt a pang in your chest; you weren’t in love with him and you never would be. He was your best friend and nothing would change that. You knew it and so did he. You felt worried, though. What would others think? What if Angelina did get jealous — but in a bad way? Or worse — what would George say?

His was the only opinion that mattered to you, truthfully.

So that’s how you came to be Fred Weasley’s “girlfriend”, and when you both finally told George what Fred had strategically planned, you were relieved and also a bit upset at how nonchalant he seemed; a small grin tugged at the edges of his lips which sent you into a tizzy. You tried your very hardest to hide your disappointment; you didn’t want to let on how absolutely mad you were for him. So, you supposed, when you thought about this ridiculous stunt one night in your four poster, fake dating Fred would certainly squash any and all suspicions George had (if he did) about you fancying him.

“How’s my favorite couple?” he’d asked teasingly one day in the middle of the common room, sinking into the couch on the other side of you. Angelina then popped in through the portrait hole, and Fred placed his hand on your knee, stroking it absentmindedly. You felt a dull ache in your heart when you saw George’s eyes dart toward Fred’s hand.

Angelina had done the exact same thing; you were able to see a very faint shade of pink flush her cheeks before she stormed upstairs to her dormitory without a word to any of you. Fred immediately dropped his hand and you felt your muscles relax, but not without a quick squeeze to your knee and a cheeky grin. “Brilliant, Y/N,” he said, earning himself a dull grunt from you. Not that you’d done much, or anything, for that matter. But still, your heart felt sore at the thought: you wanted, more than anything, for George to reach over and gently graze your knee, pull you into him, kiss your temple as Fred had been doing the last few weeks.

The dull ache in your heart just seemed to grow stronger.

George

“Help me!”

You frowned. “I’m already in the middle of the other favor your lovely brother asked me to do,” you told him with a slight twinge of annoyance to your voice; however, it wasn’t difficult for him to detect a bit of cheekiness, too — especially when he saw the slight grin that spread itself across your lips.

“I just need some help with this stupid Potions essay.”

George noticed you soften at his request; he supposed it wasn’t as time-consuming as pretending to be someone’s girlfriend, and was rather elated when you agreed. You pulled out your desired books from the shelves in front of you and pointed at an empty table in one of the rows. “Let’s get started then, Georgie.”

But the truth was, he didn’t really need help. He was actually doing surprisingly well in Potions, for the first time since he began at Hogwarts. He didn’t want to let it get to his head, though. He figured there wasn’t anything wrong with getting some extra assistance.

It wasn’t assistance that he yearned for, though — it was you. More importantly, time spent with you. Any time — which he found himself getting hardly any now that you were “dating” his brother. He was first impressed at the idea that you’d decided to help Fred with his ridiculous request, and spent most of the time hanging around you teasing you and taunting you mercilessly for it, earning himself adorable laughs and flustered looks in return. But now, as he watched Fred press featherlight kisses to your temple and snake his arm around your waist at every given moment, all he felt was resentment. Jealousy. Hurt.

He felt himself feeling guilty; he shouldn’t be allowed to feel any of those things, because Fred didn’t know. Nobody knew. Nobody knew how he felt about you. Also, this whole stupid thing was just a ploy, anyway. So he suppressed those feelings everyday until he ended up alone in his dorm room, where he’d kick his trunk and scream into a muffled pillow while he let his brain unwind and digest the day's events.

“Ah — work here is finished,” he said after a few hours in the library. Much needed hours, in fact. He watched as you slowly placed your spellbooks back into your bag. “Thanks for your help.”

And in between those bouts of jealousy and resentment came moments of clarity, moments of affection, overwhelming feelings of admiration toward you. “For you?” you started, a gentle smile on your lips as you placed a hand to his knee, “Anything.”

You

You woke up before the sun and groaned; it was Saturday. Four Saturdays, in fact, since Fred had asked you to embark on this silly endeavor with him. Three Saturdays since you’d begun wondering when this would finally be over. Two Saturdays since Fred had told you sooner rather than later. One Saturday since George had noticeably become off balance.

You felt a pull at your heart when you popped through the portrait hole with Fred and Ginny later that evening after a much needed trip into Hogsmeade; you chewed nervously on the sugar quill you’d purchased as you placed yourself next to the roaring fire, Fred taking a seat next to you on the couch when Ginny made her way to the girls dormitory.

You didn’t know where George was; he hadn’t come to Hogsmeade. Or maybe he did, and he’d just very successfully avoided you both as you ended up, hand-in-hand, wherever Angelina was. With the exception of a few measly youngins on the other end of the common room, you and Fred were alone.

“Freddie?”

“Hm?”

“I really need to talk with you.”

He looked up from his copy of the Daily Prophet he had clutched in his hands. He furrowed his brow and placed the paper on the table in front of him, criss-crossing his legs and peering at you longingly. Then he turned cheeky and wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Must be important,”

You cleared your throat and felt your heart thundering against your ribcage.

You opened your mouth to speak and closed it just the same. You didn’t really know how to ask what you wanted to — to tell him what you wanted to. So instead, you opted for, “How much longer d’you think this is going to last?”

“I dunno — a few days, or so. Why?” He raised his eyebrows. “Sick of me already?”

“Ha-ha,” you replied sarcastically, jabbing him in the chest. “I just — I’m a bit worried —” you broke off and let your mind wander for a moment. You thought about truthfully telling Fred how you felt. Guilty. Upset. Lonely. In love with someone who didn’t seem to notice. Worried he’d find someone else. “I just hope Angelina isn’t getting the wrong idea.”

Fred digested this. “How d’you mean?”

“Well, you want her to run to you in a fit of jealous fury, right?” he nodded curtly, taking this in. “I just hope she doesn’t see us together and instead, turns the other cheek. Looks the other way. Finds somebody else. You know?” But it wasn’t Angelina you were worried about.

Fred thought about this for a moment. You watched as his cheeky expression turned rather stoic, and then a bit grim. “I never thought of it that way.”

Suddenly, you felt extremely worried. You started, “No, no, you know what? I’m being silly — she wouldn’t, because she’s absolutely mad for you, too. Just forget I said anything, okay? I reckon she’ll be round to snatch you right out of my hands this week.” You laughed, but it felt foreign in your mouth. Fred noticed.

“Y/N,” his voice suddenly sounded a lot less like his own — more concerned. “What’s going on?”

Just then, George popped through the portrait hole with Ron, Harry, and Neville. You met his gaze and let it linger for a few long moments. He then smiled brightly, as if he hadn’t been acting strange this entire past week. With a quick wave to you both, ignoring Fred’s motion to come and sit down, he made his way straight up to the boys dormitory. Fred shot you a glance, and you answered his previous question.

“Nothing, Fred,” you sighed, silencing him before he could ask you if you knew what was up with his twin. You hated how painfully true your next words were. “There’s absolutely nothing going on.”

George

George was outside in the courtyard with Ron, Harry, and Ginny. He’d been doing his best to avoid you and Fred at all costs, which was pretty hard when you were his best friend and Fred was his twin. But he tried.

He found himself growing incredibly uncomfortable around you both; the sheer sight of Fred slinging an arm around your waist, intertwining his fingers with yours, calling you his “love” — it sent George spiraling. He didn’t want Fred doing those things. In fact, he didn’t want anyone doing those things. Only him. He wanted you to be his love.

“Georgie?”

You took him by surprise in the courtyard; the others were immersed in a conversation about bets, or something. He, though, was peering up at you, doing his very best to not look as bloody nervous as he felt.

“Can we talk?”

You didn’t give him a chance to answer; you pulled him to his feet and immediately brought him back into the castle. You found an empty classroom and sat yourself down on a desk across from him. He had to resist the urge to spill his guts, tell you everything, grab your face in his hands and confess his unwavering love for you.

So instead, he opted for a generic, “What’s up?”

“I’m not sure..” you started timidly. He could see the shyness in your eyes and he didn’t like it one bit. You? Shy around him? You’d never been. He hated that this is where it had gotten too. “Are you mad at me?”

He was very much taken aback at your forward question; way to cushion the blow. He swallowed a few times, trying very desperately to dislodge the lump that appeared in his throat and hoped to Merlin that he could fool you. “Mad? Of course not. Why would I be?”

You crossed your arms, now looking a bit angered. George felt his insides constrict. “We haven’t spoken in days.”

“I’ve just — been busy,” George lied. His jaw tightened. “Assignments, and things. Detention. You know,” he winked, trying to lighten the mood, “the usual.”

You smiled back, though it was a broken sort of smile. Lonely. It took everything in him not to lean over and kiss it right off of your mouth. “Are you sure? You’d tell me if anything was wrong, right?” He swore he heard more than yearning in your voice; he scolded himself silently for being dishonest. Was your voice breaking? “You’re my best friend.”

Inside his pockets, he clenched his fists. He was going to go for it. Who cared about Angelina? Fred could get her without this ridiculous bloody stunt of his. And George needed to tell you before you fell for his twin, for real, and the both of you ended up heartbroken. He stepped forward, but before he could do or say anything, you slung your arms around his shoulders and squeezed him tight. He felt revitalized at your embrace, like he was reentering his body after having been off balance for months. His fingertips found your hips and he focused solely on the smell of your shampoo, the feeling of your body pressed tightly against him. When you both parted, he took your hands in his. He wet his lips and took a steady deep breath. “Honestly?”

“Darling!”

Fred’s voice, much to George’s dismay, came from the classroom door. Damnit. How had he found you both? The door was closed! Frustration, anger, and gloom raced through George’s body; he was about two bloody seconds away from decking his brother for interrupting. But he couldn’t. Of course he couldn’t. Fred didn’t know. George sighed through gritted teeth, let your hands fall out of his, and backed away slowly.

“”C’mon, love, we’ve got dinner,” Fred called, sounding much happier than George would’ve liked. To him, Fred said, “you coming, mate?”

“Be there in a minute, Freddie.”

Fred grinned brightly and left you both standing in the middle of the classroom, the tension still hanging in the air. You turned back from the door, a solemn sort of look on your face, and asked him, “What were you going to say?”

“Oh,” George’s voice got caught in his throat, “just — been a little stressed. Knackered from class more often than not. Reckon I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

You frowned. He knew that you were aware not to press on; that was all the information he was going to give. You took a deep breath. “As long as we’re okay?”

“Of course we are.”

“Okay,” you said. You grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m famished. Let’s go eat.”

You

“Did I do something wrong?”

Fred was standing across from you in the common room, arms crossed, shoulders back, and a smirk growing on his face. He laughed at your nervousness. He’d just told you that things were over between you both. You’d asked, of course, just to be courteous. But you were actually pretty bloody excited. “Of course not, Y/N. You’ve done quite the opposite, actually.”

“Meaning?”

Fred walked over to you and placed his hands on both of your shoulders. He wet his lips before a huge, cheeky grin swept itself across his face. He squeezed you. “Angelina cornered me this morning.”

You raised your eyebrows. You were suddenly feeling much more invigorated. You grabbed his face out of pure excitement and shook him. “And? Keep bloody on, would you?!”

He threw his head back and laughed haughtily now. “Haven’t seen you this excited since before we began this,”

“Sorry,” you calmed down and frowned a bit. “Reckon I haven’t been the greatest “girlfriend”...”

A soft smile found its way across Fred’s cheeks. You furrowed your brows in confusion, hoping that he was going to tell you that he and Angelina were finally, wonderfully, officially together, which meant that you and Fred didn’t need to be. But he caught you completely off guard and said, “Don’t blame yourself too much. I reckon it’d be difficult to pretend to date me, especially when you’re in love with someone else.”

You were certain that your heart had jumped directly into your throat; your entire body went rigid at his words. He knew? Who else knew? Did George? Did everyone? “I don’t.. know what you’re on about, Freddie.”

“Merlin, you are being thick today,” he teased, pulling at your hair and shaking his head. “C’mon. You think I didn’t notice? Each time I’d drop your hand, or unwind my arm from your waist, I saw you steal glances at him.” Fred leaned in to get closer to you and you noticed a light shade of pink wash over his cheeks. Had you been silently confessing your love for George this entire time? “He was stealing them right back, you know.”

You swallowed thickly. Did Fred know more than he was letting on? Where was George? “He was?”

“He’s in the Great Hall.” It was evident to you that Angelina was watching from the other end of the common room, and she was smiling brightly. No doubt, Fred had told her everything. You turned back toward Fred and grinned nervously. He took your hands in his and squeezed them. He simply said, “Go get him already, would you?”

And as quickly as your feet could carry you, you ran swiftly down the staircases, through the corridors, into the Great Hall and all the way to the front, where George was sitting, pouring over a bit of parchment, looking positively ghastly. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins like fire; your cheeks felt hot and flushed and each and every muscle in your body ached from running so bloody fast. “Ah,” he said brightly at the sight of you. “Come here to help me, have you? This assignment is a right load —”

You cut him off, ignored this completely and pulled him to his feet; he peered down at you with a confused expression and opened his mouth to speak, but you cupped his face in your hands, pulled him forward, and kissed him. The muffled moan that escaped his lips gave you your answer — he was certainly shocked. However, it didn’t take him long to melt into it; he was kissing you as though he’d never kissed anyone in his life, like the pure feeling of your lips moulding together with his was the very oxygen pumping through his lungs at that very moment. His hands were tangled in your robes, but he eventually found himself stroking your spine delicately with his fingers, earning himself slight whines from you as he laughed cheekily against your lips. From behind you somewhere, someone said, “Hey Y/N, you do know that’s the wrong twin you’re snogging, right?”

“Oi, shove off, Finnegan!” you called, parting from George only for a moment. “I know which twin it is!”

You turned back toward George and the two of you let out a bit of relieved laughter, limbs still entangled together. “I’ve got a confession to make,” he began, biting down on his bottom lip to keep himself from pouncing on you, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

“Yeah?” you asked, wiggling your eyebrows at him.

“Pretty difficult to do anything about it when you’ve been dating my brother the last month or so,”

“You’re right,” you told him, pulling a bit on his tie, “but I’m pretty sure he broke down and told Angelina everything.”

George raised his eyebrows at you in surprise. You continued, “Pretty sure he got sick of me being a mopey “girlfriend” because all I wanted to do was be with you instead.”

His sweet smile turned rather sensual. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, that’s so,” you told him straightforwardly, running your hands through his very messy red hair.

Somewhere in the distance, over the sea of people watching you both, Seamus Finnegan shouted, “Wait, has it always been George?”

George actually snorted a bit at this; then he bit down on his lip again, wiggled his eyebrows at you, and asked, “Well — has it?”

You didn’t break your gaze, though; instead, you let your eyes linger on George’s for much longer than you normally would. You were pretty sure that you could hear the steady thumping of his heart against his ribcage, and his eyes washing over you like a cool tide completely sent you into overdrive. Suddenly, you were feeling much more confident than normal. Perhaps it was the way he was looking at you. “Yeah,” you said to George, pressing your lips to his once more, “it’s always been you.”

reblogs, comments, feedback, and all of the above are always appreciated!

#george weasley #fred weasley #fred and george weasley #weasley twins #weasley twins imagine #george weasley x reader #fred weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #fred weasley imagine #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley fanfic #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fanfic #hp imagine #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #my writing

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obsessionsposts · 4 years

Text

📸Yan! 2p Austria hc's🎸:

Tw: Yandere /memes alot of 'em if squint / tired author/ slight references to religion / slight nsfw.

Franz Edelstein - 2p Austria

O - First sighting: Well, this chaotic and hectic boy first laid his scarlet irises upon you in a concert. Franz didn't expect a feminine woman such as you to intend a Slayer(one of my favourite bands) concert, nor did he expect to meet a person with such tastes as him when it comes to music.

While he struggled to reach out for you, you vanished inside the crowds dropping your phone. After the whole concert fiasco, he grinned at the phone. It seems that fate decided for both of you to meet.

O - Infatuation: To put it simply, his intrigue transcends into devotion. When Franz saw your true self that you cared to hide from the eyes of the public. To him, you're like an extension of him; which is substantial considering everyone thought of himself as a bratty satanist.

Franz ,despite being a little shit, is aware of your manipulative and dark side that floats; when your loved ones in danger or if you're extremely tedious. A Devil wrapped in an angel clothes, that what sealed the deal to him.

Yandere type:Obsessive, Worship, Manipulative.

My my, you're a fickle one. But, this time Franzin will play the devil advocates like usual , but this time it is not for the sake of nonsensical arguments, to garner your attention on him as well as sway you away from the populus. Slowly, planting the seeds of doubts till it blooms to become paranoia.

Don't fret, Franz will serve you like the deity you are. Speaking of deity, he most likely will try to create a cult focused on you and how to elate you. In that case, get ready to be showered with food,dresses (god knows how he got it. Probably from one of the cult follower.) , and of course his delightful modest company.

Nevertheless, he will not share you with anyone{whether be it in the cult or not.} with the exception of a certain albino those who he is close to and even then Franzin will be hogging you like a cat. Furthermore, he have eyes and hands that work for him and he will not hesitate to order them to steal barrow your stuff for a ..... while?

Bonus: The more defiant and feisty you become the harder he gets. That kinky bastard!

O - Method of stalking and the frequency of it: oof, Franz is basically the epitome of big brother ( from one of my favourite books,tbh) when it comes to monitoring his darling.

Franz makes sure that his darling knows and be uncomfortable that he is there, but not to apparent that the government will interfer. One of the most common method is: cyber-stalking. (what's better than using the power of anonymity to Observe your significant other, amiright?)

O - How do they treat their s/o?

At this point, do I really need to speak? Fine,fine. You're a goddess harry and will be handed literal sacrifices(depends on your behaviour, if your good you'll get your favorite things. If your horrid you'll get dead carcasses decorating your garden. Great isn't it? ) from your dearest prophet. Generally, you're fine even if you piss him off to 451 Fahrenheit degrees, considering he is one of the mildest yanderes.

A good boi with soft heart that treats his lover (even if his darling commited heinous actions except: sexual crimes.) like he always wanted to be treated with. Kindness and thoughtfulness. So, I, the author, beg you to treat him with love and respect.

O - Nicknames for s/o: Names that indicates holiness mixed with daredevilish-ness{Fallen angel, angel, succbus,tbc..}.In addition to pet names from his native language* : {Schatzi,Süsse,Maus,tbc..}.

Punishment:

Honestly, Franz is one of hardest yanderes to rouse him up to the point of delivering penalties to his Ëngel. Considering, He is the largest troll in the history of trolls. Let's not digress shall we? Note: if you reached this level then gg you did good to the Franzs victims of trolling.

Silent treatment: Despite the pettiness of the punishment, it is actually dangerous; in a sense that he will refute and ignore your needs along with your wants. If you didn't starve or dehydrated to death, he will drive you to the brink of isolation and madness. Ps: Humans are social creatures, depraves them from sociability and they'll get wanky. (This applies to all no matter how much "introverted" you are. Unless, you have some disorder.)

Isolation: Which leads directly to this one. Usually, Franzin is lenient enough to let you socialize with your loved ones. However, once you disobey consider your relationship with them severed as you'll be locked like Rapunzel.

Spanking: "Little Maus, has been a naughty girl~. It's time for reimbursing". Honestly, it is more of a kink than a punishment. But, you'll notice a shifting difference when your arse is red and purple instead of the normal pigment of your skin.

In Conclusion:

Franz is a man-child who believes that s/o is entitled to him, however he will relent and share with certain somebody but will be clingy x 100.

Most of the attraction came from how anomalous s/o and how she differs from society? Finally, he found someone similar to him and won't let her go. Bonus: He is often misunderstood for his eccentric personality, so often he relates to s/o in a personal level. Thus a n unhealthy relationship was born. Press 'F' for s/o.

Also, it most likely the shared preferences in music(mainly,metal and rock. Unlike his counterpart.) that brought Franz close to you.

Franzin will not hesitate to cut a bitch down if his ëngels safety is threatened,but if s/o took care of the perpetrator herself he will cheer her on and may get a bit bothered. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Finally, Franz is a horny shit. If you want to torment him just sway your hands underneath his crotch and he will be your little slave for day. Just give him a taste of yourself or you'll be a victim of his annoyance trolling.

In the end, it is assured that you'll survive ; however your loved ones might....not if you played hard to get (according to his deluded set of beliefs) for long enough. So, be a daredevil-ish and tease him then you got a free personal follower.

"Of course, anything for my Ëngel~"

A/n: Tbh, this is quite hard considering 2p austria doesn't have a concrete personality nor a common name. Hopefully this satisfy you! .

* I see that hetalia characters refer to their s/o with pet names from their native languages.

* I choose the name Franz because it means a free man. Which suits the personality of 2p austria.

* I see 2p austria as someone who love rock n roll and metal with a streak of troublemaking. Mischivous,cunning, and loathes anyone who limits his freedom. Basically, he has similarities with 1p prussia but differs in interests and many things.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere hetalia #yandere imagines #yandere fandoms #yandere hetalia x reader #2p hetalia #yancore #yandere 2p hetalia

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shihozaki · 3 years

Note

Hey so I saw that your matchup requests were open and I wanted to request one for mha :)

About me: My name is Fairy (it's a kind of weird birth name but I've learned to ✨ c o - e x i s t ✨ with it) and im 16 years old! Im non-binary and I use she/they pronouns! My mbti personality is ENFP-T and my Hogwarts house is Gryffindor :). Im also an ambivert. Im an Aries sun, Aquarius moon and Leo rising! For the description of my style umm it's kind of a weird mix between a soft girl and a grunge style?? umm it's a bit confusing but I like to mix up things bc I think it's a bit fun? LMAO. For physical appearance umm im abt 5'7 or 5'8, and im a bit curvy, tho I'm usually insecure abt it and im scared of like just sitting on someone's laps and squishing them idk- I have brown hair and eyes, and I use glasses bc im fucking blind LMAO. For personality, I would say that when people first meet me they get the impression that im either A. Rude and mean or B. Im a sweet and nice angel who wouldn't hurt a fly. Tho when people actually get to meet me they realize that im really nice and cheerful. I'm also really chaotic (Oops- my bad). But sometimes I scare ppl away with my sarcasm or crude/dark humor. People also tend to not really like me bc im kind of good at reading people and their personalities which might come off as creepy (I mean it's not as if I liked knowing what type of personality they have just by meeting them for 2 days. People just tend to think that bc im able to read people's emotions and actions really well, they think I'll use it for my advantage by manipulating them??? Ummm?? I literally don't approve of doing things like that but ok?). Some of my hobbies are reading, writing poetry, listening to music, watching anime, doing arts-and-crafts, playing videogames, rollerskating, burning my homework, scaring children, having existential crises, drinking orange juice while singing to the titanic flute song and talking to the demon under my at 3 AM. (Umm ik its gonna sound kinda dumb but I also really like learning new languages, I speak Spanish, English, Portuguese, Russian and German. Rn I'm trying to learn how to speak french. And umm sometimes I have the habit of like saying words from another language while talking to someone. Like if I'm talking to someone in Spanish I will all of a sudden start speaking German. It's kind of an annoying thing for some, but it's a habit I've had since I was like 5 years old-)

MHA universe: I think that I would have a quirk where I can have the ability to manipulate matter or like a quirk where you can manipulate time?? Idk if it's possible for me to request having more than 2 quirks i umm-

What I look for in a s/o: Im Bisexual with a slight preference for guys- ummm idk what I would look for an s/o, but I think I would like someone who is straightforward, (basically kind of blunt) chill and laid-back while at the same time being nice and sarcastic?? Idk but basically someone who is able to balance out my dumbass chaotic energy with a calm and chill energy. (Also maybe a s/o who is smart. I usually have debates with people I like and I just- omg ok in my opinion smart people are hot-)

ANYHOW, I hope this isn't to much trouble for you! Feel free to ignore! Anyways thanks and have a nice day!

Thank you so much for waiting so patiently, I apologize for the wait! I had a hard time finding the perfect match for you, so I hope you like it!

I pair you up with Tsuyu Asui!

- Your quirk is matter manipulation! You can manipulate any matter based on time- kind of like Eri’s quirk. For example, if there was an apple, you can turn it to the past which would turn the Apple into a seed. If you turned it to the future, it would become a tree. You can control the amount of “time” you turn the matter into, and you can always bring it back into the original shape. Quick judgment is key to this quirk.

- You met Tsuyu in U.A! You were so excited to be in 1-A with other potential heroes, and it turns out you were sitting beside a very cute girl who resembled a frog

- You guys quickly became friends, hanging out often after school and decorating each other’s dorms together

- She is very smart, and helps you with your work. She placed 6th place in mid terms and she’s always willing to give you a helping hand!

- Tsuyu’s “no bs” personality helps tone down your dramatic and impulsive personality, while your passionate soul lights a spark in Tsuyu’s life.

- She is often very blunt and complimented you a lot, making you confused whether she sees you as a friend or as something more than that. So one day you just asked her out and she quickly (too quickly) agreed, and you guys became girlfriends after that!

- She can be sometimes a bit insecure, so you’re her personal cheerleader! She loved and appreciates you so much, and she tells you on a daily basis like it’s nothing

- You guys can literally talk to each other 24/7, and would never run out of things to talk about. The two different personality will often come up with new ideas every day

- She’s usually not very shy and is not the one to get embarrassed easily, but a simple hug or a kiss would be enough for her to be flustered. She immediately flushes red and smiles.

- She’s sometimes not very good with words, so instead she’ll show you love by physical touch- especially when she’s cold. Snuggling up to you is one of her favourite things to do during winter!

- Overall, you guys are such a cute couple, bringing inspiration and a force of energy to the people around you :)

Scenario: First time meeting!

‘That sleeping bag is our teacher?’ You thought as the yellow sleeping bag at the front of the class started his teaching. ‘This is going to be an interesting year…’ You chuckled to yourself. You took a look around the classroom. 1-A. You were finally on the path of becoming a hero. Majority of the kids in the class seemed nice (minus the spikey blonde boy) and calm. As you were exploring the room with your eyes, it met with another. She had long green hair and an interesting mouth- she was adorable. She stared back with an amused expression, occasionally blinking. ‘She’s really cute.’ You thought. ‘No, I have to pay attention in class. My bi-ness cannot be tingling right now.’ You turned your attention back to the board, wondering when the sleeping bag was going to stop talking. The teacher instructed the students to change into their training uniform and meet him at the field. As the students began to walk into the change rooms, you quickly caught up to the peculiar girl. “Hey! You can call me Fairy! Nice to meet you.” You introduced yourself. The girl smiled, extending her hand. “I’m Tsuyu Asui. You can call me Tsu.” She replied. “I like your glasses.” Your heart started beating faster at the compliment and you shook her hand. “Thanks! I have them because I’m blind.” You said, attempting to make a joke. She gave a small giggle, one enough to make your heart melt. ‘Yes, this is going to be an interesting year...’ You thought to yourself as you followed your new friend Tsu into the change room. ‘Who knows? I might finally get a girlfriend.’

Song: Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen!

I hope you enjoyed it! I enjoyed writing it, and I really liked your name too! Please do not hesitate to tell me what you thought about the work, and I hope to see you again soon :)

#anime fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #mha matchup #matchups closed #bnha matchup #matchups #bnha x reader #tsuyuasui #tsuyuasuixreader

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fullymechanized-consoomer · 5 years

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40K factions and you

Space Marines:

Your favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla, but occasionally you might try some Neapolitan, if you’re feeling dangerous. You’re faction’s lore is designed from the ground up to accept your self-inserts, and the models are some of the easiest to paint in the entire range. None of this matters because no matter how unique you think your super-cool “realistic marines who use real tactics maaaaan” are they’ll always come out looking like a slight variation of the ones below

8th edition has finally allowed you to feel a tiny sliver of the unbalanced and over-costed hell other factions have been stuck in for years, but unlike them, daddy GW is more than willing to spend a little extra on his bulky good bois so they still get all the coolest gear and lore. Like vanilla, small children love them, but they grow out of both eventually.

edit: it was only a matter of time before GW stamped its foot down and made the inevitable decision that its favorite kid needs to be busted again. Then again in all fairness they toned down their overpoweredness from “godlike” to merely “demi-godlike”

Imperial Guard:

You’re a big “history fan”. You’ve seen Enemy at the Gates, watched some history channel shows about Nazi wonder weapons, and make 54 karma post on r/history_memes recycling debunked Eastern Front jokes. Only your intelligent eye is able to conflate this factions obvious Metal Slug levels of cartoonish design and tactics with realism, and you make sure to remind everyone else of said realism by comparing your tabletop exploits to your military experience in the reserves. Everyone used to like you back when the faction was actually made up of underdogs and under appreciated, but the Guant’s Ghosts references have gotten kinda stale, and no one appreciates the brass balls of these Starship Trooper knockoffs now that 8th edition supports and rewards the very same mindless horde tactics the Guard used to be mocked for in Lore. Despite having some of the most tried and true designs in the game, as well as an incredible amount of options, you will quickly find how limiting the only “realistic” army is in terms of customization and paint schemes, as anything but camo, grey, or tan looks goofy and reveals how silly this faction actually is.

edit: If your army consists of wrapping 30 guardsmen around basilisks I recommend you take a short fall down a long flight of stairs. Fuck you, Evan.

Eldar:

You’re a real shooter. You know what you like and you stick with it, cause lets face it, it takes a lot of loyalty to stick with these arrogant pricks. Their designs are unique but dated, their lore is a uneven mishmash of 40k grimdark schmultz Tolkien telephone, and Oliver Twist-esque whipping bois for whenever GW writers need to remind us how cool Space Marines are. But none of that matters because you know the truth: Eldar can kick tons of ass on the board, and look good doing it, as their unique designs lends them to all sorts of brilliant color combinations

And unlike other armies their rare design updates improve on their aesthetic while keeping their 40k-ness, something that is becoming increasingly rare in this era of Tacticool marines and Fantasy-creep. Just don’t expect to be taken seriously by anyone but the old-heads.

Edit: Leave it to the whipping bois to be outshined in their own event and get a single model update. Thanks GW, very cool.

Dark Eldar

You are one of two people: a meta hopping smooth brain who only jumped ship once these guys got one of the best updates in 40k history, or a true intellectual who understood their hidden merit all along. Other faction players like to make fun of you for being edgy, when in reality you know that the Dark Eldar are just a bunch of sociopathic theater kids. They, like you, know how fucked from top to bottom this universe is, and instead of getting depressed they exclaimed “how can we be the best cartoon villains we can be?”. Despite having a relatively bare army list, the fact that these d-bags come in 3 flavors of crazy in a single army offers a ton of variety: the mustache twirling villainy of the Kabals, the crazy bloodstained snuff-stars of the Wych cults, and the BDSM horror show of the Covens. All three offer substantial benefits and drawbacks and must be played carefully in order t-

Who am I kidding? You’re just gonna stuff a bunch of Kabal warriors into Venoms and zoom around the map, aren’t you? Enjoy that speed, because your abysmal save stats wont protect you anything more than a furiously thrown walnut. At least your corpses will look rad clad in some of the grimest armor and gear in the game.

edit: no longer anywhere near as dominent as they were in the earlier years of 8th, but they still look slick as hell and play great.

Orks

Your IQ randomly jumps from 20 to 200 throughout the day. There is no predicting this, no planning around this, no stopping this. You’re best bet is just to go along with it, and that’s why you play Orks. Orks are roudy good-time buddies who love slapstick slaughter, not having thoughts, and occasionally pulling of cunning plans that human savants would struggle to comprehend. Orks seem to be the only faction that know what joy is, which is why you as a player spread it to everyone else. Yes, the memes and screaming can be a bit much to others sometimes, but like with any other mentally handicapped child everyone around just grits their teeth through your bad episodes if it means not upsetting your unique sensibilities. And considering that this army’s aesthetic revolves around cobbled together nonsense, you have a lot of uniqueness to give. Orks are easily the most creative faction in the game when it comes to conversions. Nothing is too goofy, too dumb, or too silly to scrap together. As for performance on the tabletop? Go ham. This is an army that rewards merry bullshit and randomness. Remember, you didn’t pick Orks to win, you picked them to have fun.

edit: So are Orks actually getting anything or what? GW’s plans for this faction is as chaotic as the minds of the ADHD scrambled minds who play them

Necrons

You have a very specific taste in... funky weird-science space Egyptians. Seriously, these guys are practically a completely different army to what they were a decade ago. Gone are the terminator references and eldritch lore nonsense, and here to stay is senility and glyphs. You lie to yourself, saying that you’re not really sure why you chose Necrons, but I know the truth: you chose them because they used to be busted. They used to be unfair. They used to be able to take out top-tier tanks with their version of pea shooters and come back after every turn. So overwhelmed were you by their dazzeling stats and bullshit cheese your brain’s wiring fried and the erratic firing of billions of flayed neurons made you think Necrons had cool lore and interesting models. But now they’ve been nerfed to hell, and you’re no longer stuck in that lasting state of sensory overload. Like a drunk snapping awake with a hangover you come to the painful reality: Necrons are kind of dull. So like me, you put them away in a shoebox forever, leaving their fragile sculpts to slowly fall apart.

Edit: FUCK WHERE IS THE SHOEBOX WHERE DID I LEAVE IT OH GOD OH OH NO OH FUCK THEY’RE ALL BROKEN MAYBE I CAN PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER BEFORE 9th EDITION LAUNCHES I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER I NEED YOU, I NEED MY BOOOOOOOOYS!!!

Tau

You will forever be hated by the community unfairly. You are accuse being anime - and this is true - yet the Eldar get away with being copied wholesale from 80′s space anime and no one seems to notice. You are made fun of for your bad melee, despite having one of the most comprehensively designed niches in an otherwise sloppy game and dominating with nearly every edition. You are made fun of for your lore, despite being largely separate from the cliches and story traps that everyone else has fallen into. You are hated because you are different; hated because you are Asian.

Tau are an anomaly in 40k: a completely new faction that wasn’t directly ripped off of some other franchise and with an aesthetic that is wholly their own. I won’t be making fun of them because they get enough of that, and you don’t deserve it. Just know this dirty secret: Tau outsell almost every other xenos faction, and despite the supposedly unanimous hate are probably one of the strongest factions in terms of play-style and modelling in the franchise.

Edit: The tau are grittier than ever, happy now? They still do the same thing they have always done anyways.

Chaos

Unlike the DE you actually are edgy. You worship satan, you throw rocks at homeless people, you start fires because your dad doesn’t spank you enough. Chaos are the closest things that this cluster fuck of a universe can get to being the main villains. Their lore is at once intricate and stupid, both childish and metal as hell. You play chaos because getting your fingers pricked by the models’ spikes is the closest you can come to feeling anything anymore. Just like the chaos lore you love to hype yourself up, to puff your chest and revel in the darkness inside, but when confronted you tend to fold like wet tissue paper. You’ve stopped playing public games with these guys, because the other players don’t understand you and abuse the meta and make fun of your painting skills and everything is so unfair and don’t you think that chaos marines should get buffs for their points cost, fuck?

Edit: The new models are slick and more power-metal minivan than ever, though the rules are still abysmal despite GW desperately wanting everyone to takes these guys seriously for once.

Sisters of Battle

GW writers and designers hates Catholics and they hate women, so naturally they hate Sister of Battl. They also hate you for playing them. Because of this SoB are a monument to neglected potential. They have one of the best female armor designs in fiction, great lore, and an interesting playstyle that relies on faith/determination based feats of strength and valor... but GW hate Catholics and women, so SoB get shafted everywhere all the time. More often than not you will be disappointed reading about their exploits as they continually get unfairly slaughtered, corrupted into the horny service of the pervert god, or used as receptacles for blood-based paint when the writer’s favorite faction needs to fight demons. With no plastic models in sight for over a decade everyone began to come to the slow and dreadful realization that GW was looking to Squat our favorite estrogen warriors, until a new revamp was announced. Unfortunately the beta rules look as lackluster as ever, but that’s fine, because as a SoB fan you have learned to expect that GW hates you, Catholics, and women.

Edit: GW found God and got woke because now they love women and Jesus’ one true Church, but let it be known that reformation doesn’t occur overnight, as the SOB’s faces still betray GW’s lingering discomfort in the female form:

Their rules are fun, and if every codex was designed like it 40k might actually be a fun game

Tyranids

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom no- and that’s it that’s the Tyranids. I don’t know anything about them besides that, and neither do you, cause that’s their lore. Yes they have cool models, but next to no reliable updates. I’ll pray for you.

Edit: it really looks like GW has just completely forgotten about you poor souls huh? The Night King, a character who is closely associated with the totally-not-reconned-Tyranid-invasion, comes back and not one word about you guys. They don’t even actively hate you like, say, they hate the Eldar. It’s just... apathy.

Grey Knights

HAHA AHAHAHAHA HA HA UHAHAHA HAHAAHAHAAHAH HAHA ha ha Ah......... he. hehahaaaAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

edit: I hope you all realize that Grey Knights are far too specialized in fighting the permanently under performing forces of chaos to be 40ks “elite among elite.” You and your entire faction has been made completely obsolescent by the Custodes. The rough times will continue, say hi to the Squats in heaven will you?

Custodes

You are either insufferably full of yourself or a fine practitioner of the model making craft. Most likely though you are neither, and you picked them because you only need gold and red paint to make them look good. Custodes are the space marine’s space marines, and they’re better than you and everyone else. period. At least in lore. On the table their incredible individual stats and elite status are reflected in points cost, so for most large games you will be fielding what amounts to any other faction’s skirmishing army. Unfortunately, since 40k is a stat-sheet battler that favors raw bulk of rolls and stats over the quality of them, you’d be hard-pressed to do well in any serious game. However, for the luminous of mind, the small size is a blessing in disguise since you don’t need to buy and paint as many units as the other armies, and no matter how hard the guard player trashes you his 50 unpainted manlets will never look as good as your 15 gloriously crafted golden Chads. Stick to smaller games, and the individual strength of each model will make up for the glaring absence caused by their loss.

Ironically enough despite being an elite faction from a relatively obscure part of 40k lore, these attributes make Custodes the perfect casual player’s faction. It is my personal theory that if GW didn’t grossly inflate their prices to such a high degree everyone would have a Custodes army.

Oh yeah, Henry Cavil plays these guys, because of course he does.

#40k #warhammer 40k #table top

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paganchristian · 3 years

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A baby mockingbird singing in this high-pitched cheepy voice to its mother, practicing flying lessons with her and wanting to be fed, which we saw one day at that walk by the sparkling polluted water. It makes me think, of the cuteness, the brightness, the liveliness, vitality, and yet also vulnerability, of the world, of people, human nature and culture in general. But while it makes me think of that it also makes me think the vulnerability is also strength, as they say. There is at least some strength in vulnerability, safety in numbers, and security in humility, the rock bottom is the place from which we can stably ground ourselves, and see just like the place the water flows is the lowest and the most widespread, covering a flat area or a deepest crevice, water flows so. To spark thoughts from quotes I’ve read, but don’t try to get right or even eloquent, sure I’m stumbling over words, poorly worded. Quotes by J. K. Rowling and Lao Tzu, about rock bottom and the low, flowing nature of water, the unconquerable, submissive, malleable, shapeless water, any shape water, morphable, mercurial, infinitely creative, substance-less, spineless, simple,.. essential, vital, life force, well I don’t know, think I carried the quote into too much wordiness, got away from what Lao Tzu said, probably though of course in the Tao Te Ching he says many things and I only recall snippets of this or that and not like I rad it all, mostly too incomprehensible for real life for me, and even more of that bound, cornered feeling of judgment and assumption, morals I can’t apply or make sense of, like most religious things, but I found a book that helped me a lot more which as 365 Tao by Deng Ming-Dao and then I was getting all of his books I could until something I read cast some uncertainty on some things related to all that, or some of his books maybe, but not that I know, and I still like the books. I’m not here to criticize, argue or debate, just vaguely tell about my own personal journey and what has shaped it, mostly to try to make sense for myself and let associations and memories and new angles spark new possibilities.

The world feels so loud, hyperactive, productive, bright, light, over-positive, over-confident, overly self-assured, narrow-minded, happily so, oftentimes, or reactive, happily reactive, wrapped up in a reactive stance, full of facts, knowledge and prestige, arrogantly so, or full of doubt, credulity, confusion, self-loathingly so, naively, and very much lost, very much easily ready to just follow whoever looks like they might know better or maybe to reject anyone who doesn’t conform into one’s comfortable simplistic ideas (that though, one thinks are complex and complete, not simplistic at all), and all these things wrapped into one, or sometimes just one or the other. Often rushing, rushing, competing, showing off, look how busy I am, busy with work or busy with play, but busy always, look how active and productive my life is. Or even not busy with work or play, but busy with the opposites, whatever those are thought of as being,.. so busy studying or learning or thinking or being creative and insightful and intuitive,... Or, busy being spiritual, busy meditating, or even if it’s said to be lazy being spiritual,... laziness embraced and glorified, look how Zen and without a care I am,.. look at me. Look how transcendent and blissful or peaceful and content and accepting of the mundane tedium I am,.. But it’s not like I’m above all that busy-ness or busy-being-lazy-ness I’m prone to some of this, much of this, depending on the time, the events of my life, the conditions, just like the Buddhists say, that conditions make a person who they are and the wheel of life, Samsara keeps us stuck, and we aren’t better or different than others who seem worse, because in the wrong set of conditions we would be the same.

Anyway, that pretty much covers everything, all those ways of being busy, even being busy as we just “Be” and not busy doing. Everything has to fit somewhere in there but it’s more about how balanced it all is, how authentic, how real and true and appropriate for the situation given, and that shows if it’s a good kind of busy-ness or a good kind of way to just Be, or not, how much and when. And it’s in the eyes of the beholder, and we have to subjectively say what feels right, even if another can see we’re harmful but if we don’t see it only we can choose and judge and no one really knows how maybe it’s the best for us even if it’s harmful since we can’t cope and find another way but there are benefits despite the harm, maybe benefits we absolutely need and can’t do without, so yeah... All of that may be true, but still, I need something far, far more than relativism in my own individual life situation right now.

But still I have to see, how can I try to get a handle on all this,... The world feels so ephemeral, so slight, slippery and slipping through my fingers while my own life I try to hold my loved ones, God, and my family, and shape them so they will have a ledge to stand on and not just be sucked up into the wheel of Samsara and suffering, but not either be fooled into thinking they have transcended it when in fact they’ve just dissociated from reality in a harmful and delusional way, as I think that some of these spiritual things can be, or else entrenched themselves into an arrogant and reactive stance, narrowing their views, beliefs and values to feel better than it all, even if they appear to be very active, engaged in moral causes and practices. How can I keep this from happening. Or how on the other hand, can I keep them from slipping into nihilism, relativistic extremes and confusion?

I see what has helped me after my own long many years and decades even of struggle. And it’s not like I’m beyond reproach, at all. It’s not like I’m beyond being disrupted and pulled off my fragile ledge of security and goodness that I’ve found, however very imperfect it is still. I know it’s still precarious, but it’s something, and how could I wish or hope I might pass it on to those who I love and stabilize it for my own self so I won’t lose it irretrievably or so I hope.

How when my whole path has been almost like one of extreme contemplative isolation? That is not even possible for most people nor would they ever choose it if it was, for most people, because I’m not like most people at all. What do I have to offer that they want to take, that they can use and see in such a way to benefit and not be harmed or led astray? What like that do I have? I want to give books, I want to give my own writings and the books of others. I want to give practices. But none of those things feel as if the others would even take the time to immerse enough to deeply see the insights in them. None of them feel like they’d be given much thought at all, necessarily. Maybe with my daughter, but she’s too young to see how she’ll become when she’s older, and for now she is far from being able to absorb them at her age, of course, almost ten years now. Though they began training religious people at a very young age in many cultures, traditionally, but does that mean I could without doing harm or would it be just more of the things that are causing me so much grief and confusion in religion, that I’m just now hoping that I’m finding a way out of that tangle of mistaken ideas and correcting it? So even if I could teach her from a young age, certain things, what things? Is there a precedent of such new and open minded ways to teach kids from a young age? Or would I have to forge my own unique open minded set of ideas to teach her?

I don’t know but I want to teach her enough before she is beyond the age of being very influenced by me any more and she gets so whirled up in the mire of rush and performing for others, competing and impressing and fitting in and consuming the many ideas and pressures and judgments and crises that are presented as fact, and she has to then see what to believe or consider or ignore and there is only so much time to do any of that while you’re growing up, getting closer and closer to adulthood, trying to find your place to live in the world, when you’re grown up, trying to find friends and people you can count on when you are and adult, hoping to find love one day, a lasting love, as many or most are, and so on.. most get so caught up in this whirl of confusion or alternatively, in stagnation, escapism, just coping just to get by, with all the stress, and not really becoming wiser or growing, because it’s all they can do just to deal with the confusion and pain and it’s just scraping by in life, maybe even stuck in such a position for the rest of their whole lives. But of course, making the best of it they can, putting on a happy face and being brave because why complain if we’re all in the same chaotic sea, in the same or similarly insufficient rafts, life boats, why complain if this is all life seems to be? And so it felt for me for decades, except my particular lifeboat felt a little or a lot different from many, because I was so very introverted, isolated, contemplative and just inclined to do and consider differnt ideas and practices than the vast majority of people. But still for so long, I was lost, and still I am still so precarious.

I just want to find how to reach people, how to find a place and a way to fit in the world, and belong and be safe in the larger structure and order so that it doesn’t dash me to bits. And I just want to find also a way to pass on my knowledge, and insight, practices, healing, bliss, wonder, beauty, grace, goodness, that I’ve found to those who I love, at the very least, if no one else, if I can’t reach any farther than that, at least to someone, the ones most likely to be able to receive it, it seems, because they do have a lot in common with me, they are open, loving, caring, wise, thoughtful, in many ways, about things that I feel are often rejected or ignored by most people. They aren’t totally open, or I could just share it all and it would be obvious, but still they seem much more open than most anyone, in reality. Many are open in theory but not in practice, open to talk but not deep talk, open to ideas but not complex elaboration of the ideas, open to accepting but not to engaging or really understanding, so I feel on the outskirts of every open-minded seeming community that goes into the deeper things. Even among them I feel excluded and ignored and rejected to a great degree, unwanted, irrelevant. But with my own family, it’s different. We aren’t just family, with all the ties, the life history, the love and hope, and continuity and always being there that that usually implies, to some extent. We are also close, loving, much in common, understanding so much, nonjudgmental, open minded in so many ways far beyond the norm of society at all generally. Even when the coldness, anger, bitterness, and avoidant resentment and self-loathing can all be there, with my closest loved one, besides my child. And even with my child, still so young, dreamy, flying from one thing to another, active, distracted, as children often can be, seeking excitement and chaos, freedom, play, imagination, spontaneity and impulse. I do not feel it’s really my place to try to redirect such bold and free and active impulses, yet it feels to me that I worry if it will take her away from the more contemplative path that I feel holds almost all of the wisdom that I could offer. But children aren’t contemplative generally, are they? And to try to make her go on that path too early might be wrong, so what age and how? And maybe is it right, ever, if she isn’t inclined towards it? How can I see if she is inclined towards it, how can I see if she has that gift and that sort of personality or whatever? Because I think maybe it could be there, just latent, untapped, and how can I see if it’s there without trying to push her into this or give her too many practices that would unintentionally shape her and take her from her own natural gifts and true personality? I feel my own personality was shaped away from who I was meant to be and ever after I felt lost, depressed, and in no way will I ever do that to her if I can help it. But it feels like maybe there are some ways I can give here these opportunities and see if she is able to absorb them well and fit in with it all well and enjoy and thrive in it. Maybe. Just enough of these practices and ideas, and not too much to where it shapes too much her so impressionable childhood mindset and nature.

As for my relative, can I ever find a way to reach them? Can the rush and skating on the surface that most people look to me like they’re doing, when I see them, can that ever really be reached by me? If I could write a whole series of books on all the things that would help them, and it had the cure, but they are never going to sit with the material enough to deeply perceive the truths in them, and it’s not just books you can skate through, but you have to really sit with them and return to them, turning them over and over , over time, seeing different angles and things you didn’t even notice at first, looking and looking again and again, over much time, many breaks, patient and slow and peaceful,... and if they will never even consider such a thing, and look with extreme skepticism and resentment on the mere ideas of such things, looking on such slow contemplation with arrogance and scoffing at it, supposed wisdom is seen as foolish, arrogant, and out of touch with realty,.. and indeed I think that often spiritual and philosophical ideas are truly out of touch, arbitrary order, unnecessary rules, deluded, narrow-minded so I see how they can assume such things about it all. But is there a way I can reach them with these things that are only reached through deeper contemplation or s it just like I’m a deep water creature who can’t swim up there to where they are? And if I tried to show them what you can only really experience in the deep they will not see it the same way, will just laugh at it and swim on by. And yes, yes, I know this sounds very arrogant of me, to be talking about deep and shallow. I don’t think they’re altogether shallower than me in every way, though> I think that in some critical ways, they might be much better people than me, maybe. And I don’t like to judge. There is just so much that you can’t know or see of another’s experience. But this is how I perceive the reality of it- that some ideas are deep and gradual and contemplatively accessed, and some are not, and that some people are inclined or willing to look at the deeper or more gradually, intuitively processed ideas, and some are not. And you can’t reach those who won’t consider the deeper, gradual, obtuse, mysterious things,... Or you just can’t reach them with those deeper, slower, intuitive ideas. A world of riches might be totally beyond them, till if they ever will open to the idea in more than a theoretical sense and really dive in and live there. Their lives might not let them live there anyway, caught up in the rush, chaos, need, problems that feel urgently like you can’t escape and they take all your attention... And they may be far less able to concentrate and focus mentally, even if they had the free time and energy to spend on it. Most people don’t read a lot of complex books and find them extremely painful to read. I don’t even read a lot of them myself, because they’re too long-winded and detailed dry and arrogant-sounding and stuffy for me. Or they seem too hard to believe and too hard to follow, too out of touch with my lived real experience of my life. But some of these deep complex books and other things I read online, or audiobooks (sometimes much easier for me to process more quickly and pleasurably than reading certain kinds of books, if the voice and tone of the narrator conveys a lot of interesting content, that the text in itself doesn’t, for me) ,.. Yes, some of them I can read. Some I do find great wisdom in and thankfully I have read just enough to give me immense benefits. I know if it wasn’t for these authors much more brilliant and wise than me I would never have made it far in my life. Self-destruction would have consumed me, delusion would have run my life. But many can’t read the books and things I’ve read and can’t contemplate and arrive at the insights which have saved me from self-destruction.

I know that talking like that might make me sound arrogant, but it is just how reality appears to me, when I perceive the facts and appearances of things before me. It looks and feels to me as though so much goodness is trapped in books and things most people will never even be able to deeply think about because it feels too painfully boring to them, to ever tolerate.

What then can you do but let go and hope there is another way they can find grace, mercy, goodness, in shallower waters, a way I don’t understand myself, a way I don’t live, a way I don’t know how to share because I don’t understand. I’m not the one to help them, am I, unless I could ever come to be shown such things. Then they’re a depth I can’t understand. But I have to let go and give it to God or the universe or randomness and chance, or whatever it is, because sad as it could be, it feels totally beyond my grasp, unless prayer and metta meditation and energy work helps.

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