#i love him.... ive been rewatching his videos a lot recently

[lebada]

love to see at least 5 independent posts from diff ppl on my dash referencing the new hbomberguy vid like oh ok we're all watching this huh. tumblr wide watch party. ive been dropping everything for his feature+ length videos for ages now and its so so satisfying to see not only that he has an audience but that his videos are a (perhaps niche) cultural event. as they DESERVE to be

[alex-just-vibing]

i love dantdm istg if i ever find out he's done something shitty i will sob he's like one of the only youtubers ive been watching for a long time who hasnt got into something (that i know of)

[thewandererh]

‼️⚠️TW // medical imagry (IV, slight depiction of veins), noose imagry, a poorly drawn realistic heart organ, intense eye contact, and a set of fellows who are in anguish

@calamarispider💥💥

recently rewatched a playthrough of little nightmares 1 and 2, and drew calamari’s folks with said videos as background noise :]! was trying out different styles of brushes and things on ibispaintX, and had quite a bit of fun doing so. i’ve been easing into doing stress relief art and this was a good example of that?

hope you enjoy yet another bout of fanart calamari haha 🐥 (<- looks up at you like this)

💙 - [gouche brushes, some watercolor] was playing around with the various palettes he was given in arts of him by calamarispider, and sort or blended them all together. I love how blurry mind looks, almost as if you’re passing out while viewing the image. fits with the medical vibe! he looks like he’s skulking away in shame or fear or something. i think i made him look weak because i’m a mind enthusiast. damn. the dark background makes it feel gloomy and mellow, but also scary?

❤️ - {marker primarily, little watercolor} i know he’s like 🧍 but his presence alone can be intimidating, that stare could drive away anyone and he *knows* it. played around a lot with layers and lasso stuff here, and leaned more into a sketchy style almost as if he’s barely there. i love the background in particular because it’s grey and not red, giving him a loss of and a heightening of individuality. doing the hair was fun XD. i specifically remember the fella i was watching play little nightmares 2 at this point getting frustrated with the teacher. silly memory

💜 - (watercolor, pencil pens) this one bounces around styles a lot, and it almost makes him seem more real? i was frustrated with it at first, but i love how some parts of him are more complex and sharp than others. mixed two art references of heart calamarispider had drawn, giving him a sketchy little eye and a more unseen bleeding eye under the blindfold. it looks cool i think :]. this was a big experimentation piece that i look back fondly on :D! I love them all but this especially. I love heart’s almost ‘angel of death’ wing cloak things haha

off i go 🏃💨

OH MAN i forgor minds crown. its ok he left it in the oven(??????)

[general-marzipan]

hello i have le question. who is your favourite tf2 mercenarie

Hello Heough! My favorite for quite some time has been the Engineer! I love the emotion shown in his Meet the Team short despite his laidback nature. I love his newest cosmetics from the summer update - they really suit him well! Even with the development of my oc Darnell, I get to think about how Dell is written as a character and how he and Darnell would interact on the job (i think about these two constantly!). AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIL POOTIS SEASON 2 PREMIERE!! I think about that specific Engie all the time, how it took a completely different interpretation of Dell and still made it believable to the actual character (Dell is such a versatile character i love it).

Though I do think I’m going back to liking Scout again as my favorite merc. I’ve seen a lot of SFMs and other memes and shorts with him lately, and its so funny to see how people would interpret in modern day. The accent is also a plus! I love quoting him at random points of the day - the accent is just so fun to do! You even feel like a Scout when you’re doing it!

However, I’m slowly starting to realize the potential of Sniper being my favorite. Throughout the years, Ive fallen for each class at least once, but somehow never could see myself liking sniper as my favorite. Sure, he’s super cool and professional at his job, you cant deny that, but something was always missing. I’d see every go crazy for him, and i just wouldn’t understand why exactly. Id see sniperscout shippers thirsting over sniper and wonder ‘whats that all about’ (in a good way tho). After rewatching the Meet the Sniper short a bunch of times tho recently, I felt a sort of realization, and a little more of a connection to his character (not much, but enough for me to like him a little bit more than before). Something about his standoff nature always perturbed me before, but now Im slowly starting to unravel the mystery of his character. (Not to mention im also starting to see more SFMs with him in it). Maybe also one day finishing the comics will help me to better understand his character, but for now i just think he’s pretty cool.

Similar to sniper, I’m also starting to realize the potential of medic. Yeah, i kinda liked him before when i first started getting into tf2, but i think that was bc most content was made about him and being shown everywhere. Like you’d find fanart online and it’d be a chibi medic or a medic with slicked back hair or something (lol the 2 genders of fanart). Still, in a way, i never could understand the character more than what people thought of him at the time: “sexy doctor that is covered in blood but also kawaii when heavy is around”. Though, once again, im going through content again and love seeing the character development within all sources of media (i think emesis blue also made me like it bc of his struggle with the events going on around him :p). Still, babysteps when it comes to liking characters i suppose. (The recent SFMs ive seen with him tho are amazing).

But if we’re talking about Soldier, oh man oh man. HE IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST AND MOST COMPLEX CHARACTERS IN VIDEO GAME HISTORY. Every day i learn something new about him. I love his gruff voice, similar to scout, you’re just compelled to do it all the time cause its so fantastic and comical. I ALSO JUST READ THE SCREAM FORTRESS COMIC FOR THE FIRST TIME FOR HALLOWEEN AND HE’S HILARIOUS IN IT HELLO?!?! Love his dynamic with everyone in that one, he’s such a fricking man child i love it. For the past few days ive been thinking about his scenes in that. Absolutely love it. The SFMs and memes of him are super funny, AND THE RENDITION OF HIM IN EMESIS BLUE IS SO COOL, I DIDNT EXPECT ALL THAT TRAUMA TO HAPPEN TO HIM. Not to mention the workshop taunts i see of him are absolute gold, star spangled strategy will always live in my head rent free. CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT HIM IN EXPIRATION DATE PLEASE?! He is so funny in that one, every scene with him in it is hilarious, people are even pointing out new things i havent even noticed before years later. If i could, i would be Soldier tf2. I wanna be him so bad.

Uhhhh the other mercs are also really cool, but i havent made that much of a connection to them, though i will say when they have their moments, they truly shine through. Every day I learn something new about tf2, and it always throws me for a ride.

Lol sorry about the long post, can you tell I like these guys a lot?

[loversj0y]

im crying over techno again (this is long and sad im sorry)

i miss him so much man. i hope he knows how much he did for all of us. ive been rewatching old wilbur videos and seeing him in them brings me so much bittersweet joy. he meant so much to all of us. i hope he knows the ways he changed us.

he was my final push to start streaming. i was inconsolable the night he died. the week after i kept thinking about how long i’d pushed off the idea because i simply didn’t think i had the time. something about losing someone that you even just perceive as being close to you gives such a shift in perspective that i figured at that point it’d be stupid not to. and the thing is, he was so incredibly supportive. of every last one of us. he always supported the people in his community.

its a big thing in my life honestly to live in his memory. usually people say stuff like that in a negative connotation but i dont think its negative. i hold his memory close to me as a reminder of the things that ive lost. and its a comfort in a sense to let his deadpan mockery push me to be better and to do things i might fear doing.

he has a space on my ofrienda. i pray to him in the same way i pray to all the family i have lost because even without knowing him personally, he welcomed us all enough to allow me to feel like there was a family with him when my own felt incendiary and volatile.

i think about the fact that lovejoy is playing a festival with the killers. its a festival im incredibly excited to go to, but on nights like this when im crying over a lost brother i never had, i feel saddened in knowing how much he would have loved to have seen it. i think he will be there, watching. but the feeling wont be the same. i think of how wilbur must feel. knowing that he’s playing a festival with the same band that he’s not only loved, but that he shared his love for with techno, to the point that it made such a strong lasting impression on techno. i hope he knows how proud techno is of him. i hope that if he stays to watch the killers perform, he feels techno with him. because i know he’ll be there.

i have a lot of thoughts on how much he meant to me, to all of us, and im kind of just pouring them out in a stream not unlike the tears that wont seem to stop tonight. if i can be honest, ive been avoiding a lot of stuff related to techno. i took a step back from everything as a whole because it hurt too much and i didnt know what to make of it, not really. i keep finding myself mourning how little time i got to have as an active techno watcher, given how recently i joined the fandom and such, but i also know i should rather feel thankful for every second that i got to have. i find myself avoiding a lot of mentions of technodad still. he’s lovely and he means so much to all of us, just like his son, but i cant help but feel my chest reopen each time i hear him speak about his son. ive seen the feeling of watching a person you love mourn a family member who was taken too young personally. ive seen it in my own family with my cousin, and it all feels so heavy. i know there is this narrative of being thankful for the time we had with a person. but i still consistently find myself balanced on the precipice of anger and acceptance. i dont struggle with bargaining or depression, let alone denial. i know hes gone. i know nothing will change that. but i also will never be content in feeling appreciative of the time we had because we could have had more time. even if it was just a. second more. it wouldnt change things but maybe it would ease the ache in my heart as i think on all of the people who loved him who will live past him, myself included.

i keep coming back to the song life worth missing by car seat headrest. i cant quite explain where i find the parallels but i feel it in this delicate balance that i find in the song. theres this delicate balance between grieving and losing yourself in grief and im not that sure that ive found it. for a control freak, one of the things that always has hurt me is my lack of control in death. i cant change it. and all i can control is the way to cope but i simply dont know how to do that. and the temperamental part in my head is the battle i find myself fighting because i know how he wouldnt want this. he wouldnt want the heavy grief but i dont know how to not feel it. i find myself feeling the heavy grief or essentially nothing at all.

and theres quiet, kind moments throughout it all. when i think maybe i can hold his memory and move with it. but those moments dont last long. but they mean more than any other part of this whole process. when i hear him in my head, making fun of me for not putting myself out there. when i feel him supporting me as i feel unstable and shaky. regardless of your thoughts on religion or my own, i know that he is there. whether it is real or it is in my head, both are substantial enough to give me faith. and isnt that religion in and of itself?

i know that all the things we wanted him to know, about how he changed us, how much he meant to us, all of it. i know that he knows them. but i still am allowed to mourn that we never got to feel him know them. am i allowed?

i think im allowed. i think he’d allow it. i think he’d understand.

because when i feel whatever sense might lie in my convoluted ideas of religion and my strong sense of morality, i know one thing above all.

that he understands.

[crayonverse]

Alright nobody asked or actually cares but here’s a bunch of my physical video games that I love

(long post)

Starting off weak: a bunch of my normal sims stuff. I have a lot of the sims 3 packs but they’re at my dads house (Along my with supernatural s1-15). i also have more sims 4 because i, stupidly, paid money for them (and i also dont understand how to pirate the rest)

Fantasy Life (best toh game ever I love it so much also one of the characters was accidentally trans coded please play this game🙏🙏h). also i could never complete the Bratz ponyz. i just kept cleaning the horses and then gave up lmao

Xbox games I can’t play because I don’t have an Xbox at my Mums and the one at my dads broke. I hope to find a new one sometime🫶. but also Viva Pinata is a brilliant game and is the best ever actually. everyone needs to a look a whirlim forever

Most goated Pokémon game ever. Real. God it’s so much fun I love this game sm. It was one of my first ever Pokémon games and I loved just running around and making friends. Truly amazing

Not games but movies I have. That arceus + the Lucario and mew movie were my only Pokémon media n shit. I rewatched them sm

When wii party and worms battle came out you know the sleepover got so good. the diseny enchatned princess was my childhood i just kept making a new princess and running around doing nothing

Switch games!!!!!!! I really like Pokémon games and eevee is my favourite little guy ever. i can never get far in ary bc my switch doesnt have enough space to keep playing :( it does seem cute with the small time i can play through

Scribblenauts has been like. One of my fav game series. Maxwell ur a sweet little man and I love him. also nintendogs those games have been so cute throughout my life. i love animals

i also consisently buy every single one of each of these games in their series bc they always slap so hard

The imagine series is also a staple those fucking things r COOL. ive just recently restarted my tomodachi island <3

PS3 stuff. Me and my dad used to play Rayman together

imagine teacher was my fav out of the imagine games i have. i got so invested in those fake preschoolers (the pottery level is the suckiest tho i hate it). moshi monsters cool tho i like it

Mod Nation was my mysims racing since i didnt have it and its. actually kinda fun. i think it also had an online element but idk if the servers are still active at this point. bugsnax is also revoulutionary play it play it play it play it

diseny universe was like a big game i kept trying to play with my friends but i think they fucking hated it LOL

my time at portia goated (saving up for the sequel rn)

outer worlds was also one of the only games i full on cried at the end. also at the time i ID'd as a asexual lesbian and Parvati, who was an asexual lesbian, made me feel very seen at the time. shes still my fav companion from that game.

lego dc supervillains has been my fav lego game so far and i hope more lego games are like it in the future because it was great

my lbp stack💪💪💪 i havent done much of A Big Adventure yet bc its more of an adventure game than the others and also you cant save normally in the game For Some Reason. like you cant just. save and quit. idk why that isnt in the game.

sorry for showing you all danganronpa

this has been my most recent video game. my dad went garage sale hunting and came back with two of these so i just stole one out of his boxes and took it home. havent played it yet but it looks cool

my sims games 💪💪💪💪💪💪 yes the fact that skyheroes is on the ps3 does in fact annoy me greatly no i will not tell my lovely mother that at all

ok yeah thats all the ones i want to show. i do have a bunch of other stuff but theyre not that cool

[starryemeralds]

HII rwby anon again its been a while sorry dhd ive been on a mission in another world but thats not important right now~

sooo

IVE WATCHED TILL EPISODE 15 !!

IM REALLY ENJOYING IT A LOT, especially with a lot of focus being on vomit boy, i kind of didnt expect that. i LOVE how nora was just. "should i break his legs :D" IN SUCH A FUN AND BUBBLY GIRL VOICE DHDBDBD that was hilarious

AND WHEN PYRRHA TOOK VOMIT BOY ONTO THE ROOF AND HE JUST GOES, "i know im depressed but.. im not THAT depressed" i was DYING of laughter HELPPP JSJSJS

UGH i CANNOT get enough of ruby. shes just like. nope :3 nope : ) nope :] nope :>

UGH its so cute just that little squeakiness in her voice, if that makes sense fhdhd

i am also uh. A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT SHE SAID TO VOMIT BOY

"youre not allowed to be a failure.. because youre a leader !"

i very spesifically remember, before getting into the show, seeing gifs and vids you rebloged of ruby having. not the best of times 😭 because she was their leader and didnt feel perfect / as good as she wanted herself to be, if i remember correctly ? so

yeah 😭😭😭

i ship blake and random faunus boy with a monkey tail /hj

penny seems.. weird,, not in a bad way she is just. a weirdo /pos

LMFAO THE HIGH FIVE BETWEEN WEISS AND RUBY, um *its a combat skirt*

ok so. time to bombard you with questions ( sorry )

who are the faunus how many episodes does the first season have who are the white fang and why does weiss call them degenerates, rapscallions, thieves, murderers and scums

IS IS IS. IS BLAKE A FAUNUS OF THE WHITE FANG !?!

thank you 💅

HELLO RWBY ANON!! I HOPE YOUR MISSION IN ANOTHER WORLD IS GOING WELL LMAO

i love how you consistently refer to jaune as vomit boy, it makes me laugh everytime. and nora, my chaotic beloved, do break that guys legs <3

S T O P, THAT ROOFTOP LINE HAD ME FUCKING CACKLING. IN MY RECENT REWATCH IF THE SHOW, I WAS SHOWING IT TO MY FRIENDS AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TOO

and yes!! ruby’s va is so good, and while she has the squeakiness, you’ll come to see that there’s a lot of emotional range in it 👀

AND YEAH,, RUBY’S JOURNEY AS A LEADER IS A LONG AND COMPLICATED ROAD, BUT MY GOD, THERE IS NOTHING I LOVE MORE THAN STORYLINES LIKE *gestures to v9* THAT (being vague because i don’t wanna spoil you anymore than my blog already has haha)

SUN MY BELOVED!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH; LOYAL TO THE END BUT LACKS ALL BRAIN CELLS. valid to ship them, but their friendship in particular means so much to me and you’ll come to see why a bit later down the road!

AND PENNY MY BELOVED <3333 all i’ll say is that there is something weird with her, and it alludes to the fairy tale she is based on, which i think gets revealed sometime in v2 iirc

AND NOW FOR YOUR QUESTIONS

who are the faunus:

so the faunus are essentially another race in remnant that have physically animalistic features (some might have ears, or tails, etc.)

how many episodes in the first season:

crunchyroll is telling me that the first season has 16 episodes, so you’re right at the finish line!!

who are the white fang:

the white fang has a complicated history, but they are essentially a group of faunus who are fighting for faunus rights and are now known to be an extremist group. (in my personal opinion, i think that rt definitely could’ve handled this plot line a bit better since it is a direct allegory to racism and a lot of black fans have voiced their critiques a lot better than i ever could. there are some threads and video essays by them if that’s something you’d wanna look more into!)

why does weiss call them degenerates, etc?

she’s racist prejudiced towards them based on her upbringing; but she does overcome this fairly quickly SO DONT WORRY.

is blake of the white fang?

she used to be! that mission she was on in the black trailer was actually her with them, but her separating herself from the train was her literally and metaphorically cutting ties with them. she no longer believes in their methods, so she became a huntress to join in the fight for equality in a different way.

I HOPE THAT HELPS CLEAR SOME THINGS UP!

[sleevesareforlosers]

happy solstice jordan!! one thing i’m looking forward to for the new year that i’m also kind of terrified about is graduating and finally being done with school! i’m anxious about finding work but i think once i’ve got everything smoothed out and in place i’ll be really happy post-grad!

something i’m bringing forward from this year is the work i’ve put into my art, i really want to keep experimenting and pushing myself and not just letting myself get into a rut. i’ve been experiencing a lot of self-doubt this year with my art especially but i’m proud of the way i’ve been managing my time and the challenges i’ve faced so i want to bring that energy with me into 2023 :}

the weather here has been clear and sunny but pretty cold the last few days! right now it’s like 11 pm and it’s about 30 degrees F outside, so that’s like. -1C? during the day it’s more like 35-40 F. i don’t really care much for the cold so i comment on it every time i go outside BUT it’s still nice and it’s given me a chance to wear my new winter coat which is a very cute puffer jacket!

if i could be anywhere right now i think i would still pick to be home :) one of the things i’m most nervous about with moving out on my own is not being in my home where i’m comfortable and have all my stuff with me the way i like it but mostly about not being around my family so i’m enjoying spending as much time as possible living at home during the breaks and being around pretzel and my parents and siblings. also once i move my friends who live around here aren’t going to be as readily available though others will be so there’s that as well 🤔

definitely i am a serial rewatcher/listener/reader! i like the things i’m comfy with and it’s hard for me to go outside of my comfort zone and experience new things with media especially. i reread a lot of books and i rewatch youtube videos and movies and music. especially shows, i really don’t watch a lot of tv, and when i do watch tv i have a tendency to put on old shows that i’m comfortable with. i make exceptions for star wars shows but that’s it and aside from the mandalorian and andor sw has been very disappointing lately so that’s been tough. i think the one thing that may be an exception is music! while i like relistening to all my favorite bands over and over and over on loop i also really enjoy the experience of finding new music that i enjoy and playing that over and over also :)

i hope you’re having a wonderful day danny i love u!! ���💝💝

pretzel says hello as well 💕

[ID: a fluffy golden puppy dog lying on a tan corduroy couch, looking into the camera with his paws tucked up. end ID]

happy day after solstice love!! enjoy a longer day today than yesterday

!!!! wah thats so exciting. i cant believe ive known you like. long enough to see you do your entire degree im SO excited + proud of you and im wishing you ALL the best w your postgrad stuff!!

YES its been very clear in the art ive seen that you're putting so much effort into it and its absolutely paying off. cannot WAIT to see where you go from here! ik self doubt is a bitch but you rly are so talented i hope you can keep up your energy w it into the new year and beyond

OUGH! chilly! im glad you have a nice new jacket to keep you all toasty esp if you dont rlly like the cold. and i hope you've got as much hot chocolate as you want to warm up w when you get back inside! ive been drinking sooooo much hot chocolate recently its life changing esp when its cold out

wah thats so sweet. i absolutely understand moving out can be SO intimidating but i hope when you do end up moving you find a place that you can make yours and be just as comfy there as you are at your parents place. and in the meantime! enjoy the being home! give pretzel a BIG BIG kiss for me im saying hello back to him and givin him a good scratch

this answer does NOT surprise me at all and props on being the first person to come down firmly on one side or the other. esp w tv i totally get that <- has been rewatching supernatural unfortunately. its so much more of a time commitment and esp with shows that are just coming out its like. you want a decent payoff for your time + energy investment. like w star wars shows i was SO excited for bobf and then. well. i think i watched like two episodes and then the Thing Happened and i was like 'yeah im not finishing this' but i have heard SUCH good stuff about andor and its done coming out for this season so i just need to sit down n actually watch it.

its nice that new music is easy for you its SUCH a delight to find new music you actually like so im glad that you get to have that!!! anything specific thats been in your playlists recently?

i DID have a wonderful day yesterday i hope you have a good one today!! love youuuu

[1d1195]

omg i had a phase where the ONLY show i would watch was gilmore girls. that was fun it has a special place in my heart

LMFOAOAOSKS SAM HAHAHAHA you’re so right tho neither of them felt like good fits for her. my mom was just telling me today how every time she sees him online she thinks his smile looks so forced😭😭

OH AND DING 3 ???:?:???? I WAS SHDBSJSNNSDJD 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 THE WHOLE TIME I KID YOU NOT. HES SOOOOOO UGHHH. THE WAY HE NEEDED TO KNOW ??? AND WHEN HE GOT SO ANGRY HE WANTED TO GO STRAIGHT TO THE GYM ???? AND JUST THE WAY THEYRE SOOOO INTO EACH OTHER IM OBSESSED (when he asked to kiss her cheek i think i passed away🪦)

im really happy to hear the vacation went well !! i think you deserve a good relaxing something every now and then. treat yourself to a spa weekend or a massage soon girl (or whatever you consider relaxing cause i’ve actually never tried either of those lmfao)💖

i’ve actually been up to a lot recently! or more than usual lol. it’s pretty dull in my life buttttt i have two childhood best friends who each have a wedding coming up soon. one of which i know for sure will be in may and the other isn’t decided yet but it’ll be soon as well bc it’ll be a lowkey thing. it’s crazy for me to think that we’re at the age where we can start getting married n stuff😭 ive known these girls my whole life its just insane

todays my birthday !! (it’s 2am rn tho so i won’t process that fact until i wake up) i’m not going to do much, maybe go to target and get some skincare bc i went to see a dermatologist yesterday lol who’s the person who said they lived in the uk and wished they had a target?? i saw a tiktok video of a group of australians going to target for the first time and it was SOOO FUNNY😭😭 target is the best i could seriously spend hours there

wishing you alllll the best✨✨✨✨

~🎶

I watch it every fall/winter 😭 I just finished my rewatch actually 🤣

I’ve never been to the spa or had a massage. I do really want a massage but I’m poor and can’t justify the cost. Honestly I enjoy lounging on the couch hahahaha

That’s so nice you get to see some old friends! That’s so lovely! I have been trying to be better about seeing my old friends (and doing terrible at it). My middle school bff has a 1.5 year old kid. That shit is wild. But it’s always like no time has passed when I see them! Hope you have fun spending time with them! What do you have planned?

I’m so weddinged-out. I’ve always been a funeral girl (my family is generally older so 🤷🏻‍♀️) I hadn’t been to a wedding until I was 17 and then the next one when I was 22. Now I’ve been to 6 weddings in two years. I’m tapped out physically, emotionally, and mostly financially. I think there will be at least 2 more in the next two years too 🙃 Also I’ve been to about…idk 6000 baby showers. I cannot afford to have friends 🤣

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 🎉 💕🥳 I hope you had the most amazing day you deserve it all and more!!! 💕

My 🛼-anon is our friend from England who hasn’t been to target! I’m glad you feel the same way about target. I grew up without a target nearby so I’m not sure if I’m just romanticizing how lovely it is 🤣

Hope you have a fabulous birthday week can’t wait to hear about your skincare routine and all the fun things you do with your friends!!!

Xoxo

P.s. I’m glad you liked Ding 💕I love a “who did this to you” kinda vibe 😉

[itsstraykids]

hello hello! i had the absolute fuckall busy 2days, hope u didnt mind the accidental ghosting. i kept wanting to reply but i was feeling too tired to do it lmao. hello! hope ur doing well! i absolutely love the word coinkydink btw, im stealing it thank u. the fact!!!!!!!! that u do music production!!!!!!!! so cool!!!! consider me amazed yayy. ive always been unhealthily obsessed with chan's vocals, seeing him sing, esp with as much love and enjoyment/passion as he does is chills inducing to me. and yeah!!! his skills are so impressive, esp 3racha with rockstar album i very much agree!! i still cant pick a favorite song, and its funny bcs that's seldom the case no matter how much i love the whole album. cover me was played a lot tho (i was soo proud of hyunjin!!) and their vocalss yess!! seungmin han i.n leeknow and then ofc chan felix hyunjin changbin, they all did such good jobs, and their voice shined a notch brighter yes!! (mildly obsessed everytime changbin sings btw i am a sucker for it) their vocal heavy songs have always been some of my beloved!!!! never-ending story that i never get enough of, levanter and in christmas evel the way 24-25 was my immediate favorite! skz and ballads is smth mind-scratchingly wonderful, like always. what are some of your other favorite kpop groups?? what genres do u like as well, like i really love and find myself obsessed with k-indie, if we are talking korean language songs? what kind of songs do u like and listen to!! just wanted to know more abt u as well!! esp now that ik u produce too!! and just wanted to say ur art!!!! its so amazing and gorgeous!! so talented!!

^^apologies if i sound mildly incoherent (ik i do) its so damn cold outside both my face and brain have made it a mission to resemble chunks of ice cream so im!! thinking in circles p ls excuse. hope u have a good day an amazing week and great end of year and holidays!!

no worries at ALL dude the holidays are crazy, i really like this secret santa project but there’s so much else going on it’s also a lot 😅 yes! i’m stoked you liked rockstar. i thought it was so good, i was really in love with the songs/choreo/vibes and the members all seemed so happy! OMG YES Changbin’s voice is so good…why doesn’t he sing more it’s crazy…i have rewatched their conodoll episode a couple times because all their voices are just wonderful to listen to

i like 24-25 too! and that music video is just too sweet, it gave me cavities lmao. my fave kpop groups are skz, txt, and my OG (and forever) kpop band is shinee! i’ve been getting into xdinary heroes too. it seemed like everyone released amazing EPs this october-november, i was living for it. good music was raining down left and right.

i like so many genres in all languages! rock, punk, electronic, indie—i used to listen to a lot of k-indie (nell, the black skirts, the koxx, clazziquai) but now i don’t really know any more recent bands. i’d love to hear what your favorite songs/bands are!! i’m in a finding-new-music phase right now. i just found out about this new zealand band called the beths, their album “expert in a dying field” is a lyrical masterpiece.

thank you for your sweet compliments!! haha i’m trying to get better at portraits…oof, sorry it’s so cold where you are! bundle up and i hope you get some sun soon!! i’m in california so it’s actually really nice weather. exactly like the rest of the year. i do miss having seasons. but it’s also nice to go to the beach and not freeze lmao

best of luck in the final week before the holidays!! gonna be a crazy one i think, i have to bake stuff until my oven gives up and cries

[sheepisreading]

Books I finished in Febuary 2023

The first three I grabbed at the same time at the boostore because I was bored and needed cheering up!

Naked, David Sedaris, 1997

This is an essay collection! I’d previously read Calypso by the same author and loved it. It’s a fun read, not hard to read or get into and doesn’t require too much concentration to read while still being very entertaining. I chose it as my next book for that reason, because I’ve been pretty fucking stressed recently and thought I could read it without spiralling. It worked! I loved it, it was funny and earnest, recounting amusing anecdotes and real learning moments. I love these kinds of essay collections heartfelt but self aware and comedic.

(Also, because I’ll probably never review it since I read it like six years ago: in the same vein I can only recommend Watsky’s essay collection “How to ruin everything”, probably even more than Naked! It’s I think less emotional or about emotions but I honestly loved it, it made me very happy, Watsky is awesome.)

Assembly, Natasha Brown, 2020

Fully picked this one up in the bookshop because the cover is pretty but after reading the blurb I immediately bought it. It’s fiction but clearly inspired by the authors life. The main character muses on her life so far and the decisions she’s made. It says clearly some shit that’s obvious but for some reason still an issue! The author clearly writes about the differences in class and upbringing between rich old money white people (her colleages) and hardworking new money black people (her). It’s about stuff we take for granted and casual racism. Very good ! It packs a punch in only a hundred pages.

Bluets, Maggie Nelson, 2009

Maggie Nelson writes “propositions” meaning short prose-poetry rambling-things about blue. I’m very into blue and gave a school presentation two years ago on the history of blue in art inspired by the vsauce video about it (which is amazing by the way, I rewatch it often), so I’ve been wanting to read it for a while. It’s good! Maggie Nelson writes beautifully about artists who have used the colour in the past (which is good inspiration) and her own relationship with blue, as well as with two people she cares about at the moment of writing. Her writing is absolutely beautiful! There is a lot of mention of romantic and physical longing which I cannot relate to, but that’s an issue I run into often and her way of discussing it remains interesting. It’s a beautiful book and its atmosphere stays with you.

The Nice House on the Lake vol. 1, James Tynion IV, 2021

Okay apparently the author is well known but I’ve never heard of him as I don’t really read comics and read like one graphic novel a year. As I understand it what I read (volume 1) spans the first six issues of the comic (out of 12). I grabbed it while browsing and loved the colours and was intrigued by the premise (having watched and thoroughly enjoyed Glass Onion not long before, I kinda thought it was a hardcore version of that, turns out: way more sci-fi shit in Nice House). I got home after my first day of internship, spent an hour doing jack shit and then picked this book up and read the whole thing straight. It’s amazing, there are fleshed out characters (some of them are queer yay), suspense, tension, emotion, it’s just really good! I will warn for like apocalypse, discussions of suicide and body horror though if that’s a thing you can’t go near! But if you can and are into weird sci-fi horror I recommend it! (I actually kind of like Walter I have to say, he just loves his friends !)

Steppenwolf, Hermann Hesse, 1927

!!! My mum is a big Hermann Hesse fan and always advocated for me reading one of his books. I happened upon this one at the used book market and immediately bought it because I noticed someone had anotated parts of it which. Yeah. Anyways, a bit of a slow start with the introduction written from an outside perspective from the narrator of the remainder of the book but absolutely hang in there! It's absolutely amazing; reflections on selfhood and the way we choose to live or not live our lives, connections with others, finding joy and excitement. It really did exceed my expectations. I thought there would be too much romance talk for my taste but it's so beautifully written that it's not an issue at all. It left a mark on me, that's for sure, it's a really powerful book.

[summ1nt]

new iwaoi brainrot just dropped

did i return to tumblr for the first time since 2014 bc i genuinely cannot stop thinking abt haikyuu after my most recent rewatch? yes.

did i create a whole storyline for iwaoi based off of one album ive been listening to too much recently? also yes.

ive been listening to woman on the internet by orla gartland an unhealthy amount and functionally created a songfic abt iwaoi's relationship over the years bc i am just Like That(TM). if u decide to read all of this, i highly recommend listening to the album while u do. great album, 100000/10

this ended up WAY longer (and angstier) than i anticipated, tho idk why i expected anything different. enjoy!

things I've learned starts us off, as iwa's general background song. he's much more secure in himself than oikawa is from the beginning, which is partially manufactured from being friends with oikawa since they were kids. since oikawa has a tendency to get really upset with himself and bogged down by his own insecurities, iwa is always the one reminding him to keep his eyes on the goal and to take things at this own pace. iwa kind of has to be the stronger one for oikawa in those moments of weakness; oikawa is there for him too, but he just has more insecurities than iwa does generally. this song starts us with iwa's general messaging to oikawa throughout middle school and starting high school.

you're not special, babe IS THEIR THEME SONG. this song is all iwa reminding that oikawa is doing well, digging him out of the holes he sticks himself in, and constantly being the pillar of strength that oikawa needs to build himself back up each time he falls. i think this song applies a LOT in high school, post-altercation with kageyama, at the start of oikawa being starting setter, and oikawa's constant need to prove himself. this IS iwa reminding oikawa that they're in this together, and he'll always have him to lean on.

more like you is oikawa's admiration of iwa. this gets us into mid-first year high school, like around spring tournament. iwa's unwavering confidence, his ability to always lift oikawa up, his assurance that there's no setter and no friend he'd rather have than him. this is oikawa realizing he loves iwa, realizing he's bi/pan, and trying to learn how to take care of himself all at the same time. it's simultaneously full of love and heartbreak, the idea that he can't tell if the tightness in his chest after iwa scores off his emergency set is from jealousy or adoration. oikawa staying up late watching videos about being lgbtq+ in a country that's not very welcoming to gay people, trying to learn who he is and trying to love that, his struggle to want to be less of a burden to iwa and wanting to be able to stand next to him proudly while grappling with a new part of himself. wondering if he really can stand next to iwa when oikawa's feeling this way about him and doesn't know how it'd be received.

over your head is from iwa watching oikawa fall into the same habits from middle school after losing to shiratorizawa twice first year, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object and failing over and over and over again to push it aside. it's iwa watching oikawa clearly struggle with something and refuse to tell him about it, it's watching oikawa pull away bit by bit and isolate himself because he feels responsible for their losses, feels responsible for having these emotions towards iwa and not being able to face him until they can stand proudly at nationals. (iwa doesn't know that first part, obviously). "it feels like drowning" is oikawa, struggling with feeling like he's losing everything; losing in his passion, and losing his best friend because he can't stand to look at him when he feels like he has caused so much pain for the team.

zombie is iwa's response to oikawa from over your head. he's sick of oikawa's "coping mechanism" of isolating himself when he hurts, unable to really process his feelings. it's iwa being tired of oikawa always pushing him away right when he knows oikawa needs him the most. he just wants oikawa to stop staying late after practice, stop furthering injuring himself, stop watching videos until 3am on game days and showing up to classes with darker and darker eyebags. he wants oikawa to take care of himself for fucking ONCE. he's not gonna be patient and wait for oikawa to get it together, because he's been trying that, and oikawa's only getting worse. this peaks after oikawa injures his ankle right before the practice game with karasuno third year, and they have a huge fight right when it happens. luckily, they work it out, and they're back to normal for the practice match itself. the rest of third year passes without much incident.

madison is iwaoi post-graduation. this starts off from oikawa's perspective. oikawa confessed to iwa at the end of their third year at the neighborhood park they'd met at when they were kids, after they celebrated their graduation with matsukawa and hanamaki. iwa didn't take it very well, was so shocked he just stared at him blankly. oikawa ended up leaving and they haven't really talked since, and now he's in argentina and going through the worst home sickness in his life; not only for japan, but for the person he has always been able to rely on. he's alone, really and truly, for the first time in his life. "do you ever think about me just pouring my heart out?". oikawa regrets confessing, wishes he's just kept his fucking mouth shut the way he had for three years prior, because he took the most meaningful relationship in his life and feels like he fucked it all up. iwa, during this time, is just trying to grapple with the idea that oikawa likes him; he doesn't even know what to do with that idea, feels awful for leaving him on radio silence but thinks anything he would say would just make it worse. slowly but surely, the space between them widens.

do you mind? is oikawa learning to deal with the distance. they had a weird, stilted conversation where they somehow avoided talking about the confession, and silently agreed to never bring it up again so they could keep their friendship. it's better for a while, iwa talking about his classes, oikawa complaining about the culture shock, both bonding over having to learn new languages, but then iwa gets a girlfriend second semester. and oikawa pulls away, because as much as he loves his friend, it's too painful to watch someone else have what he wants. oikawa slowly retracts back, not picking up phone calls, one-word responses to texts, excuses about team bonding and perfecting a new serve making him too busy for their weekly video chat. wondering if iwa even notices that they don't talk as much anymore or if he's too busy with his girlfriend. it still hurts, but it's a duller ache than last time. it's less sharp, less acute, but it never really goes away. iwa not wanting him isn't new, but iwa wanting someone else is. and that makes it more manageable, but also so much worse than before.

codependency is the breaking point (and my favorite song on the album). this is iwa and oikawa realizing, separately, that they've always relied on each other. their lives are intricately linked, and every up and down they've had together. it's the two of them wanting to be free from their relationship for the first time. iwa wants to go about his life without having to think about someone else, how it would affect them, and what they're thinking or feeling at every moment. oikawa is tired of waiting around and pining after someone who will never see him that way. they both cut off communication at this point. they are their own people, and they're gonna live their lives the way they want to. iwa breaks up with his girlfriend because he realizes he was looking for someone to replace oikawa and wants his own life. oikawa goes to brazil and this is when he meets up with hinata (and brazil fling is CANON i will not accept any other answer). they're getting over each other and standing independently for the first time ever. and it hurts like a motherfucker, but it feels like the right thing to do.

pretending is oikawa seeing iwa for the first time in years at the olympics. he's seeing the ways iwa grew without him, and he's not going to sit there and mope about it anymore. he's tired of pretending that he and iwa didn't hurt each other in so many ways, tired of brushing off iwa's response to his confession (or lack thereof). iwa is looking at him in a way he's never seen him before, but oikawa is over it. he's done waiting around. oikawa is sticking with the argentinian team, barely sparing iwa a glance. he's not letting iwa hurt him anymore. he'll dance with who he wants, he'll flirt with who he wants, and if he catches a glimpse of hurt on iwa's face as oikawa chooses an athlete from a different country to take back to his room, that's on him. iwa had his chance and he gave it up years ago.

left behind jumps between iwa's and oikawa's perspective during the championships. iwa watching oikawa go about his own business and barely look at him. the first verse is all iwa, realizing that maybe he doesn't want to let go of oikawa, that even being strained friends was better than watching oikawa pretend he doesn't exist. oikawa is seeing iwa have this epiphany, catching oikawa's arm in a hallway and trying to talk to him again, but he's tired of iwa only wanting him at an arms length. it hurt too bad to watch iwa walk away from him, but seeing him again, he doesn't know if he's able to walk away in return. it's iwa's turn feeling what oikawa did back when iwa had a girlfriend, never even commenting on the confession. iwa's mom asks him how oikawa is doing, and he doesn't even know how to answer. they're both realizing they don't want to be left behind, but don't know how to approach their relationship with how deeply they've hurt each other over the past few years.

bloodline / difficult things is where their relationship comes to a head. they're both back in miyagi after the olympics, visiting home during the break. back in the park the confession took place in, remembering the events that took place here and how it irreparably changed their friendship. it's the place they realize they have the chance to put the ways they've hurt each other behind, to forge a relationship again from the ground up. to try again. but the feeling floats around all the same: can they do this? can they avoid the arguments and the radio silence? they've never really, truly talked about their relationship. they've been functioning on misunderstandings and unspoken agreements for years because they thought they didn't need to talk about it. in high school it always seemed they could read each other's minds, but now they meet as strangers. and maybe it's time to fix it. and for the first time in years, they sit on the swings where they met as kids, and they talk until the morning breaks.

if u somehow stuck it out for the full thing, thank u!! plz lmk what u think of it. yes, i am overly emotionally attached to both iwaoi and this album. byeeee

[ambivartence]

• - hmm let's see :D ~

xiaojun vs jeno

nct vs p1harmony

beatbox vs doom du doom

glitch mode vs venom

aHHH all the hard hitters straight out of the gate

xiaojun vs jeno adskdflsjdfjjjj okay this is purely based on my jeno brainrot for the past couple weeks even when i saw xiaojun's Praew magazine photos a few days ago jeno immediately just got my attention again lmao he's been soooo busy recently (running around my head LOL) ever since i saw him again at kcon LA and then smtown seoul + tokyo into promoting villain with key and then the dream concert footage these past two days and now he's on his way to ny fucking fashion week i've just been continuously devastated by him.... there is nobody else i can afford to think about right now </3

nct vs p1harmony omfg NOOOO MY PIWON BABIES :((( i was literally just rewatching a lot of their tiktoks a few hours ago i love them so much :((((((( but also sdjfaisefsfjjj after kcon i realized i just... love being an nctzen LMAO even if this is one of the most unhinged fanbases ive ever seen :') part of the reason why im not on the bird app lmao but yeah i love the neos and i love my nct hoe anthems and microwave noise music and endless amount of content and drama and they've even got me obsessed w fucking lime green... 🤢💚🌱

beatbox vs doom du doom THIS IS MY RHYTHM (DOOM DOOM) THIS IS MY SONG!!! omg i was looking back at my top songs of first half of 2022 gifset and realized none of them r group title tracks and i swear i thought beatbox would be the first one to finally break that trend (they'll probably still make my list for second half of 2022) bUT WHEN I HEARD DOOM DU DOOM I WAS INSTANTLY OBSESSSEDDD like everything from intak's opening adlibs that i have memorized to jongseob's rap part to the chorus choreo which is so cool it's one of my all time fave choreos of this year and the fact that each chorus has a different choreo because there's also soul's dance break version and the final chorus version and i love the styling in the music video especially what they were wearing in the boxing ring w the black white n neon lime fave fave FAVE also the giANT FLAGS were so pretty and i love that intak got to wave one on stage during their promotions it made the ending pose look so cool ugh yeah i literally have listened to this song every day since it came out... okay but also beatbox iS SUCH A GREAT SONG also obsessed w the colorful styling and the boom chicka boom chicka chicka boom boom choreo part w the hands and knees to shoulder isolations is so satisfying and also jaemin's solo footwork part and i think mark just really shines in that song it's so hip hop groovy and catchy it was stuck in my head for months i swearrrrr

glitch mode vs venom HUHHHHHHHH okay so i feel like i was slightly disappointed in the chorus build up for both songs, but venom definitely has a better one tho the second chorus is just soooo much better to me than the first one with the dramatic slowdown during changbin's part into the gradual speed up thru lix/hyunjin/hans raps w the iconic skz sirens going off in the background into geomijul drop to the point where i wish there was a way that the first geomijul chorus drop couldve been just as good which is so nitpicky but the track video was so good and i love the choreo for it when i saw it on tour <3 but anyways glitch mode is a hard one to beat hehe i love the very nct intro w the robot voices and the styling for the music video and the glitching choreo is so fun and also jeno (the fan chant is so cute with the echoed "nightmare" and "ok" haha) n mark's rap parts (lol i will never forget that light speed is "299792 [km] per second" now !!) and yeah i have the chorus memorized now just as a product of listening to it too often i think at this point i'm just personally very attached to this song after seeing it performed live twice too <3

> make me choose <

[love4hobi]

Okay this is gonna be long but I wanted to respond and put my 2 cents in about ur asks u got yesterday and discussion over bts recent music....okay so I read somehwere (I forget) that PTD was like their end to the trilogy thing of songs they were doing in that type of genre / English thing...Idk if that’s 100% true but it can give hope. Imo I actually liked butter and stuff PTD was just straight up bad but I liked butter and dynamite...is it their best work clearly not close but it wasn’t bad like PTD😭😭 also as I’ve been a fan for so fucking long (2015) I can say that for 2020-2021 bts KEEPS their success bc they’re such great perofmorers and bring it everytime despite the current music they’re releasing...(my opinion...) like I rememebr watching festa room live and being like holy shit they’re so good what the fuck and then realizing they were performing like all old b sides besides 2 songs😭😭 idk. To me they still perform and put on top level stages and that’s what keeps me interested and a fan to this day...also idk if you liked MOTS and persona but I liked both ...and BE was an okay album to me (not their best but come on KDKDKDKDKDKDD) also I think we as fans need to expect that every artist has their peak. Like there’s so many western rock /alt bands that I’m in love with their albums and then they release shit I don’t like after being together for like a decade and I just have to accept they reached their peak musically but am able to look back at their work they have done and still love them for what they did and released. Idk. I think bts can still bring it back musically as the time period of 2020-2021 isn’t that long in my opinion. Yes it’s been their worst year musically but it’s been like a year since dynamite so it hasn’t been THAT long. I think it feels like a long ass time tho so I get it....I’m giving them a lot of room and you obviously can disagree I’m just stating my opinion lol!! Cuz I do agree that PTD sucked and hybe is stupid...I mean take a look at what p dogg said a month ago when he said that it’s sad that bts songs are getting so incredibly short and the rap line can’t show their skills anymore to cater to the market and to check out their other music...(literally say that shit like word for word basically in a YouTube video....) like does this man (their long time producer) expressing these worries seirously have 0 say??? Like it really seemed like he is bummed about their recent shit too and bts are rich so you’d think they’d put their foot down and say no to anything...but I agree with you about how they’ve been grinding nonstop for 8 years and maybe they’re just fucking tired. Like it’s understandable. Anyway, I agree that this years music has been lacking (and honestly I lowkey feel that way about all kpop AT the moment)....like txt is the only group imo that is releasing good music right now...not to drag anyone else but twice disappointed me this year and nct and skz too 😭😭 but you know!! It is what it is!!! Back to bts tho, I personally still love them bc of their body of work that they have done and their stage performances and probably will feel that way for a long time. Idk, I’ve experience this with so many bands so it doesn’t shock me that much. Like for ex the band arctic monkeys had a perfect discography for me then they released an ass album and it sucked and I just accepted that maybe they just reached their peak 😭😭 idk...this was super long but oof

oh hmm i havent heard that about the trilogy but that certainly would be nice,, but then the coldplay collab is pretty much basically confirmed at this point and thatll probably be mostly if not all in english 🙄 and omg yes ur so right performing is definitely one of their biggest strong suits especially on tours whenever i go back and rewatch old concerts its just like theres no one else like them like theres lots of great performers in kpop but theres just something special about them altogether as a group!! and the thought and effort they put into end of the year stages always blows me away, but yea also smaller things like the festa room live are so nice,, they just work so well together on every level. but i do see what ur saying about them peaking cus yea i loved black swan and on and i could see how that would feel hard to top, but idk yea like i said in another ask they might just be tired and i think if they dont put out anything that great in the next year or two i feel like they might be able to get back together sometime after enlistement once theyve hopefully been a little ✨rejuvenated✨ and had time to rest n just live their lives for a bit (and bighit has hopefully moved on to txt and the new gg a bit more) and finally be able to to do something thats more them and just fits what they actually want to be doing at that point in their careers. but omg yea exactly what u said abt pdogg it kinda rly sucked to hear him say exactly what i was thinking in that vid and for His opinion to still not even have an effect on anything :( but also yea like you said and ive said in some other asks the pandemic has affected the music quality of a lot of groups/artists and theres always hope that things will get back to normal afterwards or maybe they really have peaked unfortunately theres no way to know we just have to wait n see ig :/

[puppysprinkles]

[tw for the topic of Shane Dawson]

I was aware of Shane Dawson when he first started on YouTube, when I was at the age of enjoying just exploring channels on YouTube but I never really liked his stuff back then and so didn’t end up watching a lot of it. I didn’t really become a fan of his until around the “spooky boys” series, when he started making more conspiracy theory themed, and documentary style videos.

He was, at that point, someone I almost felt like an old friend watching. Like Jenna Marbles he had been on YouTube since I’d first picked it up, they’d always been there, I considered them constants to the YouTube platform for a long time. So I fell in love with the spooky, relatable and seemingly thoughtful content I was seeing at that point, but I never watched anything outside of that. I wasn’t involved in the community, I didn’t see most of the drama that wasn’t acknowledged on his YouTube channel at that point, I never watched or listened to the podcast. In all this, I ended up missing many of the red flags and innapropriate behavior he exhibited, and so up until recently I genuinely hadn’t seen anything I considered a harsh offense worthy of unsubscribing to someone I felt was so important to me.

And now having seen the evidence, clips, and having watched a few analyses, yeah, I’m glad they demonetized his channel.

I don’t genuinely feel any anger toward him myself, and it is hard to get yourself to actually hate or be mad at a person who did something bad, but maybe it was questionable, maybe it wasn’t directed at me, I didn’t feel the pain of that bad joke, ya know? I only cringed at it, it didn’t hurt me. And in that way I’m grateful he was demonetized, because that means I can keep rewatching the videos that comforted me and made me feel less lonely in hard times, without continuing to pay this man for it.

I guess my point is, because lots of people forget this on tumblr, is that the most logical and factual answer isn’t always the one that feels right, that’s not how your heart works. He did some really messed up things, and he deserves to lose his following, ive unfollowed him on all platforms but youtube. But that doesn’t mean you have to feel anger at him yourself.

You can recognize someone is a bad person and still appreciate the things they created that felt special to you.

[vagrantblvrd]

ive been rewatching a lot of the more recent gta videos and in the ones with cutscenes that show the characters more clearly ive noticed that ryan has been wearing contacts a lot and it's making me think about how creepy that'd be in fahc combined with the mask so all you see are the freaky contacts lmao

Ooh, yes! @miss-ingno recently made a post about that too!

it all fits in very nicely with Ryan’s other aesthetic choices RE the Vagabond - the mask and face paint. Questionable manscaping choices and whatnot.

Like, it’s just this lovely bit of not quite right to work in the the Vagabond’s favor, right? Something you notice right off but what kind of idiot is going to stare at that creepy bastard trying to figure it out? (Asking for trouble right there, on top of the Vagabond being around for any reason in the first place.)

But also!

It just occurred to me what if the contacts aren’t just an aesthetic choice on Ryan’s part? Guy’s not getting any younger and idk, maybe he’s noticed his vision’s not as sharp as it used to be? Has problems when he’s at home kicking back to read a book or whatever and eventually admits he needs to do something about it.

And then! The optometrist tells him he’ll need glasses and Ryan’s like oh God, no because he knows his crew, okay. Knows the kind of grief they’ll give him over it what with them being assholes. (Won’t mean anything by it because Michael had glasses until he got LASIK and Jack’s had glasses as long as Ryan can remember. Some of the others do too, but, again, assholes.)

So he asks about contacts an the optometrist is like “Oh, yes, that’s a good option for you too,” and shows Ryan the ones they have to offer and Ryan zeroes in on the freaky pale ones with the red outline around the irises.

Knows the others will roll their eyes thinking he’s just hit on another aesthetic choice for the Vagabond because he’s that extra and not realize they’re prescription for a while.

They do figure it out though, because those times they’re in heist-crunch mode, you know? Some of them staying over at the penthouse because it’s easier than going back and forth between their own places all the time.

Catch Ryan wandering around early morning or just whenever. Contacts bothering him so he’s wearing his glasses and forgets they don’t know about that yet.

At least until someone is like, “Oh my God,” because Ryan+glasses is something none of them ever considered before? And now they’re faced with the reality and it’s more than their brain can handle at whatever o’clock it is.

Also I kind of wandered into shippy territory and whoever it is who is like jfc, how is he even more attractive with glasses and I never planned for this, what do I do? and oh sweet Jesus, how unfair can life get is up to you because I am loling so hard imagining their reaction and Ryan too tired to notice.

(But you can  damn sure bet when he does notice he takes ruthless advantage of it. Possibly pairs the glasses with a cozy sweater or turtleneck or whatever else to be a bastard, because you know he would.)