#i love him so dearly your honour
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ciaran · 2 years ago
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like this is the thing with Wolfwood saying that Vash really messes with him bc imagine living god knows how many years as a lone killer wandering the desert. refusing to grant mercy, hardening yourself to every cry for help. he's had one thing hammered into him: he doesn't get to be soft, he doesn't get to be kind. if he tries to help a stranger, someone he loves will suffer. pick your battles, he's told, and fight them alone.
and then he meets Vash and Vash doesn't try to deny that Wolfwood may be a killer, but he looks at Wolfwood with such sincere gentleness anyway. when Wolfwood got this stupid babysitting detail for Knives Millions' pacifist baby brother he maybe expected someone as insufferable as Knives himself—as relentlessly arrogant and superiorist, judging everyone by impossible standards. but Vash isn't like that. he is always, always willing to give people another chance, and according to him Wolfwood deserves one—just like that. and Wolfwood was trying to kill Roberto and Meryl so that it would be easier to wrangle Vash in the right direction (and Wolfwood did assume that Vash would need to be manipulated into it), but then Vash was so stupid and so stupidly caring that Wolfwood rescued the people he was conspiring to murder just to keep Vash happy. already it meant a little too much to him that this man's faith in him not die too soon, though it would of course be gone when Vash figured out that Wolfwood was trying to lead him to...
the place he's going anyway. another burden of guilt easing off Wolfwood's shoulders, though what's left now weighs heavier. and then you get the story of Rollo, and Vash yelling at Wolfwood because he could have saved the boy if Wolfwood hadn't done him in too soon and that's when it clicks for Wolfwood that oh, this guy is insane. he's just like this all the stupid fucking time. he's not just here to protect Vash from other people but also himself, and god, it's not going to be easy.
and it's not easy, really. but it feels that way. right up until Vash looks at a man sent to kill them and tells Wolfwood that he can, in fact, save him. that they can do it together. and Wolfwood would never believe him if not for what was at stake, and if Vash didn't pull this off Wolfwood would never believe in anything again. so they don't save Livio but they do save the orphanage, and that's when it becomes clear just how much is at stake for Wolfwood inside this mess.
he had a system. it was a shit system in a death spiral of entropy, but it worked. it was his, and it kept him going, which was all he could ask for. but there's a shocking joy in saving people, in pulling off the impossible next to this man who makes miracles feel commonplace. and it scares Wolfwood how much he wants that, how badly he craves a life where he's better, where he's more. he can keep killing—he'll be nothing short of the best in the business. but Vash looked at him and said he saw something, and the idea that that could truly be there—it feels like a death sentence. it's the end of Wolfwood as he knows himself.
and now he's terrified. the realization that Vash knew what he was comes as less of a surprise than a painful inevitability. of course Vash knew. of course he tried to help anyway. he gave Wolfwood the same blank ticket to the future he gives everyone, and Wolfwood signed Vash's end in blood. and he's hoping that if he does it like this he can kill the part of himself that keeps believing, foolishly, that he can be more than the worst of what humanity has to offer—kill the part of him that wants to trust Vash when he says that trying to care is worth it even if you get hurt. the side that says maybe Wolfwood isn't as sick and scared of pain as he thinks he is, maybe he can afford to open his heart.
then he thinks: are you stupid? have you caught whatever madness Vash has? it works for him because he has no higher ambition than watering the desert with his blood, but you want to stay alive, don't you? your life is shit and you can't wait to die but until you're dead you're going to cling to this hell by the skin of your teeth. why should you sacrifice yourself for someone else? who protected you when you needed it, even if you didn't deserve it? how dare you believe that you can be good when you've killed so many people for no better reason than you were ordered to do so? how dare you believe in something so soft as love when you're a monster?
so he doubles down. he walks Vash to his doom and walks away. and even then, when Vash gets hurt, his second thought is to kill whoever did that—his first thought is to rush to Vash's side.
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kenshikisser · 4 months ago
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“i am not one who easily forgets.”
the parallel between rafayels myth and his new promise card…
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wongyuseokie · 1 year ago
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HIS LITTLE REMOTE CONTROL I SHALL CRY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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myladysapphire · 4 months ago
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The Dragon and the Wolf (III)
You had been betrothed to Cregan stark at the start of the war. He was the noble and honourable stark that he was he supported your mother claim without restraint. So much so your mother saw it fit to betroth the two of you. So when disaster strikes and you and your younger brother are the only two survivors, you a shipped of north in your grief, leaving only Cregan to heal your wounds.
word count: 2,291
CW: MDI, 18+, smut, p in v, depression, mentions of miscarriages, stillbriths, love confessions, family reunion, marital difficulties, angst, not proofread!
Cregan Strak x Veleryon(strong)!reader
Masterlist | series masterlist | previous part | next part
dividers by @zaldritzosrose
authors note: the timeline does not follow the book so don't come for me for changing things. sorry if this seemed rush honesltyi dont like it but i think it works well and makes a good chapter to lead into the epilouge.
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In the year of 134AC, 3 years after the end of the dance of dragons, and three moons into your marriage with Cregan stark you finally made your way to kings landing after years apart from your beloved brothers.
Viserys and Aegon were no men almost grown, with Viserys a wife and child on the way and Aegon, now married to Daenaera Velaryon, though their marriage remained unconsummated.
The reunion had been a sad one, with many tears shed as you finally saw your brothers after years apart.
“Aegon! Viserys” you cried out as you ran out of the carriage to greet your brothers, your arms wrapping tightly around them, scared to let them go. Tears filled your eyes as you kissed their cheeks.
“I have missed you so dearly” you said to Aegon before looking over at Viserys, your mouth stuttering as you tried to find the right words “Vizzy, I have…oh gods-“ you cried out pulling him in for a hug once more “your all grown up!” you said, “a man grown” shaking your head as you hugged him closer.
He cried on your shoulder as you did, his arms never leaving you even as you introduced him to Cregan.
“This is Cregan…my husband, and the new lord hand.”  
“An honour to see you again” Aegon greeted, moving away from slightly from you to shake Cregan’s hand.
“As it is for me, my king” Cregan replied to Aegon head bowed.
And though Kings Landing had changed much, filled with new faces and on the rare occasions a familiar one, you still hated it.
You had thought seeing your brothers here, your sisters, it would feel like a home again,
But no.
You despised the viper pit.
There was more scheming and ploys than before and you were now at the centre of it.
with Cregan as hand and the death of your grandsire as regent, new faces took the role of councillors you had only just grown to trust.
Many of your mothers’ own advisers, advisers you had made Aegon promise to keep on his council had died in the winter fever the year before.
And perhaps that was why you hated Kingslanding, though a fifth of their population was taken, and 90% of that being the smallfolk, so many you had known, trusted and cared for had died and you never even knew.
The halls seemed more haunted now.
Not just haunted of by the faces of your family, of your uncles and brothers.
Of your mother.
But of them also.
You regretted coming with Cregan, and you hated yourself for it.
You had though and thought to stay here, arguing with him before the wedding for just this, to stay.
You know whished to take Silverwing and ride her to Winterfell and never return.
It was only the love you had for your brothers and Cregan that made you stay.
The memory of when first admitted your love for each other playing over and over again, as if it would somehow make you love this place once more.
“Cregan” you had sighed, now alone in your shred tent after a hard long day of ridding, the bath water doing little too sooth your joints.
He sighed your name in return, turning to face you as he undressed for bed.
“Do you love me?” you asked, trying to keep a casual tone to your voice, though you couldn’t hide the hope in your voice.
He smiled softly, moving towards you, taking your hand in his, “I have loved you since I first met you, and I do not think I ever will”.
You smiled, kissing his lips softly, “I love you, I have for so long, even when I hid behind my grief.”
“Really? I did not think you liked me much, after the war.”
“I did! And I hated it, I wanted to through myself into my grief and yet a part of me felt pained that I loved you and you did not know. I hated ignoring you, there always seemed to be a tether tying me to you.” You said shyly. “I hated that you were the reason I was pulled from my grief, I didn’t want my happiness to depend on you, but now…I am glad it is”.
She was glad to have him, he filled the whole left by her family’s deaths, though it was a different kind of love and wholeness she was glad for it.
But it did nought, not as you became and aunt, you fell back into the slow misery you felt before.
Feeling lost and haunted. Surrounded by ghosts talking to you day after day, ghosts you could not hear but faces haunted your dreams.
You didn’t tell anyone though.
Your family was happy, despite the death of Corlys or Baleas husband.
They all seemed happy here, laughing and enjoying the feasts.
The only person who could see your misery was Aegon, but even then, he didn’t understand.
It was clear he was haunted by your mother, of her death. But his was misery was he could push aside, and when with his family all he had was joy.
And yet you still felt that death followed you even more.
More as you felt the death of your child, spending hours, days on the birthing bed only to be greeted with a still born child.
More so as you felt the blood trickle down your legs time after time as you tried and tried to carry another pregnancy to term.
Your heart continued to break and Cregan could see your misery and so he insisted on you retuning to Winterfell, and you agreed.
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Being back in Winterfell made you lose the feelings you had in Kingslanding, made you feel safer.
Made you feel at home.
And you felt lighter here.
Then Cregan was called back to Kings Landing and the emptiness found you again.
But you forced it to the side, hoping if you ignored it long enough it would go away.
And gods were you wrong.
You had plunged yourself into work, trying to help the north recover, from its weakened state following the famine caused during the winter fever.
 A year passed, now 136AC, a year away from your husband, from your brothers.
You became a ghost once more; all healing had vanished and the person you said you would become if Cregan sent you here alone had come.
 “Without you I will…I will only find that hollowness I felt for moons, the sadness will return without you to…to comfort me, to hold me and cherish me. I cannot be alone, I may rely on you a little too much, but I cannot bear to…”
And it had, you were hollow, and you were sad. But instead of letting it spill out of you as it had before, you kept it hidden.
Putting on a strong front, you wanted to be the fierce lady of Winterfell no matter how much you were breaking inside, no matter how much you wished for Cregan to see through your flowered words on paper and to come back to you.
And though he did come back to you, it was not because of you, but of Sylas the Grim.
A wilding chieftain who led a large force of 3,000 south of the wall and was plundering the lands of the gift.
Cregan arrived soon after you sent news of Sylas attacks. You yourself had tried to scare them off, using Silverwing to burn their trail. But they continued their plundering.
And so Cregan led the rallied forces of the north and attacked the wildings, leading yet another victory.
You had watched from the sidelines, sat atop Silverwing awaiting Cregan’s signal. But he never gave it, never looked over to where you waited. Only greeting you as you made your way into the festivity’s hours later. Having taken Silverwing over the wall and burning down all trees beyond the wall, within a 100-mile radius.
He had been surprised but grateful for your actions. But his gratefulness was soon overlooked as the drunken men of the north started to sing.
And you once again sat in your seat and let the hollowness within you start to show.
Later that night, after going to bed hours before Cregan, you and him finally spoke.
“Cregan?” you muttered, lifting your head from the pillow as he tumbled into the room.
“Wife!” he replied, his tone joyful, “I have missed you” he sang, “you’re going to come back with me to kings landing!” he spoke, looking at you expectantly, as if expecting you to dance in joy.
“no” you said, sitting up.
“No?” he said, suddenly sobering up. “Why not? Do you not miss your brother? Or me?”
“Every second of everyday”
“Then come to kings landing”.
“no”
“Why not?” he said, his tone almost aggravated.
“It is haunted” you spoke, your voice in hushed whispers as if the ghosts would somehow appear in your chambers.
“Everywhere haunted, even Winterfell” he said, looking at you, truly looking at you.
He took note of your sunken eyes, your dead eyes.
You looked just as you had those first few years here, and he hated how what you had said would happen had come true.
“no” he muttered, moving towards you “no…my love my sweet wife…what has happened?”
You broke down in tears, telling him what you felt, a years’ worth of emotions spilling out of you and the tears never stopped.
You must have spent the night crying in his arms, begging him to stay and never leave you again.
“please” you begged, “I can’t…I can’t go back there, and I can’t be without you”.
“okay” he said, thinking hard, “I will give up my place as hand”.
“I can’t ask that of you- “
“You can, and I must” he shook his head, cradling you in his arms “I have neglected you for too long and I am so sorry, I love you, I hope you know that” he said, hand caressing your cheek.
“you’ll stay”.
“Yes…always”
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Giving up the position of hand of the king had been like a wight had lifted of his shoulders.
But seeing the state of his with had placed a heavier weight on him.
Feeling his heart break and his own betrayal fill him as you cried in his arms he felt he was a disappointment.
He had seen your loss, her grief and in his own he had pushed you away.
And though he had recovered, he should have known that you couldn’t, not by yourself, not when you still had so much grief left from the war still.
you had always been soft and gentle, always so Intune with your emotions that they overwhelmed you, and he had somehow overlooked that fact and sent you away.
And unlike last time he didn’t have the wedding or retuning to kings landing to look forward to. There was nothing really to look forward too, other than the one thing the gods had deprived you off.
A babe.
You had tried and tried, but three miscarriages and one still birth had wrecked you.
In truth had he not had the lords breathing down his neck once more for an heir then he would never have made you try in the first place and yet it was what you craved, despite the duty you wanted a babe.
And now as his cock filled you and hit all the right spots, this moment were their was no grief, no death no duty to fulfil, just you and Cregan.
“Cregan” you moaned, your face falling into the pillows as he pounded into you “please” you begged into the pillow, you felt your peak approaching as he entered you out, hitting your sweet spot again and again.
He held onto your hips, his cock focusing on that spot as his finger moved down to your clit, bringing you to your second peak of the night, as he filled you with his seed.
You collapsed on the bed, as he pulled you into his arms, holding you tight.
You relaxed into a comfortable silence, a silence you both often found yourself in.
‘I love you” he whispered, kissing your forehead.
And for the first time in a year you said it back, “I love you, too”
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You fell into your roles as lord and lady of Winterfell easily. Finding you rather enjoyed your duties even more when they were not used as a distraction.
And even though there was some tension between you and Cregan still, you found the love you felt for one another made everything easier, especially when you had spent nights crying in grief and regret at refusing your brothers request to return to Kingslanding even if only for a few days.
You hated saying no, but they seemed to understand. Your duty was to Winterfell now, and they understood.
Egg had understood your need to leave before, himself feeling the same as he told you he considered moving to Dragonstone but fearing hell find more hurt in those halls than that of the red keep.
And now with news of Aegon’s tour around Westeros you were excited to see him once more, too show him your home.
A home you did not regret him having no place in, and as the years passed with a few visits here and there form your brothers you found you rather liked the distance.
Finding that perhaps your grief weas in the guilt of only them and you surviving and not Jace, Luke or Joffrey. The boys who were truly your brothers before they were ever kings or princes.
authors note: next part is the epilouge!
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lovelykhaleesiii · 6 months ago
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Can I request a smutty fic for Aemond, please? The base idea I had is that he's been at war for a while and finally reunites with his wife, so it's quite passionate. I leave the finer details to your expertise ♡
Sacrifices with Intimacy
PAIRING: Aemond Targaryen x Wife!fem!Reader
WORDS: 1,805.
WARNINGS: p in v sexual intercourse, female oral receiving, praise kink, breeding kink, swearing.
A/N - haven't written for Aemond in a long while, so forgive me if this is trash! sorry about the long wait, Ez. I hope you genuinely enjoy this! all this new content for Aem/Ewan is stirring some deep feelings! thanks for being so patient and kind.
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The toils of this war had felt like an eternity, and undeniably, you had missed your beloved husband dearly...
Aemond Targaryen, the second son of King Viserys Targaryen and Alicent Hightower: your betrothed and in eager time, your doting husband, was called at arms to fight the war in the name and honour of his elder brother, the King now, Aegon II. Aemond expressed no hesitation to act in defence, even if this meant sacrificing sacred time with you. As much as his reasons were to defend the honour and dignity of his family, he fought in battle with intent of smothering all grounds of harm towards you by all means. He thoroughly intended to vanquish any potential enemy or ounce of threat, kin alike, if it meant that you live a life free from suffering.
A sacrifice needed to fulfil this meant his prolonged absence in your life. An absence felt too deeply indeed, like an open gash, exposed to the natural chill of the air. Until the familiar, thunderous roars and bellowing gush of winds roared across the daylight, roars and wings that could only belong to one great dragon...Vhagar.
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"My beloved—"
"Aem!"
An embrace long overdue, like no other. Against your body, Aemond's hold felt constricting yet oddly comforting, pressing you as deep against his slim physique as possible.
"You've returned sooner than I'd anticipated—"
"Do you not wish me to be here, my dearest? Has my early return not pleased you so?" He huskily murmurs, his voice deep: warming your heart so, as it had been so long since you'd heard the familiar tone. A deep chuckle echoing to your ears, as you nuzzle against his neck, longingly inhaling his musky scent.
"Well now that you're here, I may never let you go again—," You faintly whisper, enough only for Aemond's ears, as the dragon-keepers urgently tend to the monstrous Vhagar.
"Have your duties in Harrenhall come to a close? Need you take your place now here in King's Landing?"
"For the time being, my beloved. For the foreseeable future, I am to remain here... Rightfully beside you."
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Despite all fruitless attempts of his Grandsire, the Hand, and the Dowager Queen, Alicent Hightower, urging Aemond to attend council meetings to arrange further battle plans and to discuss progress: Aemond remained solidly adamant in his stance.
"I've sacrificed enough of my time fighting this war in the name of this family. An evening to spare with my wife, I should warrant at the very least."
He was to spend the entirety of the evening, every passing hour, minute and seconds with you, soaking each other up to make amends for such deficiencies.
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Your bare bodies entwined against each other, feeling the heat radiating from his muscular body.
"You've grown leaner, my love... Are they not feeding their troops?"
His calloused hands take their sweet, precious time lightly tracing over the curves of your naked body: scoring goosebumps to course over your soft skin where he had hovered. His touch had become alien to you now, and yet you craved for him to never let go.
"They feed us, although not well enough... And not for the delicacies that I desire," his lowly voice made your eager ears prick up, excited to hear his every word, to listen to him speak mindlessly for hours on end. A growl etched as his good eye lingered over your calm, sensual figure.
Slowly, you kneel yourself up over towards him, straddling his chest: his rough hands gripping the outer flesh of your tender thighs, squeezing and tapping at the meat, nudging for you to move up closer towards him. A sly smirk stricken across his handsome face, a face now masked with lingering yet subtle scratches and marks, proof of his succession in battles. Your finger lightly tracing over their lightning-like marks, gently until reaching the infamous sapphire eye.
"Do you still find me handsome as the day we wed?"
"Always, Aem—”
"Do you still want your husband to eat that pretty cunt of yours out? Been craving for me, silly princess, even if you deny it... I can feel you throbbing against me now."
Now knelt, hovering ever so closely to his face, you slowly sink yourself down, feeling your cheeks now well rested comfortably against his broad shoulders. His ravenous tongue spared no second plunging itself into your walls, as his lips curled and lapped at your moist entrance.
"Hmm—" A deep, penetrating sound vibrating from his lips against yours, you felt your dead weight plunge deeper, the walls of your silky cunt feeling tight and tickly against his guzzling mouth. You felt your body bobbing subtly up and down, in sync with his heaving chest, as his breaths grew deeper and denser.
"My husband, the saviour of the Seven Kingdoms... A-And I have h-him a-at my beck and call, b-beneath me."
Breathless and exhilarated, your wetness stimulating beneath you, sensing just how drenched your inner thighs feel. Intertwining your fingers with Aemond's, releasing his firm grip from your thighs, guiding his large hands up over your hips and waist, planting his palms against each breast.
"Miss these, baby? Cause they've missed you... M-Maybe if you f-fill me up, these can get f-fuller, huh? D-Does that s-sound good?"
Earning another deep, muffled "hmm", his calloused, large hands kneading at your breasts, squeezing at the tender flesh in the cup of his palm. A teasing thumb, flicking at your perky nipple, earning a rapid moan. Sensually feeling you up, his precise movements and gestures receptive to your body: as though he had never left, not a day behind. Your mindless body now succumbed to his every move, a stirring feeling in the pit of your stomach desperate for more, it seemed as though Aemond could read your very mind subconsciously.
Nudging you to move down, released from your trance, his breathing heavy yet gradually began to compose itself. A slick, clear film saturated his reddened lips and mouth, although wasting no precious he lapped that up too, savouring your taste.
"Ask and you shall receive, my spoilt, little princess... Lay down."
Despite Aemond having done most of the work, drowning in his prized possession, the sensitive spot between your legs felt achingly weak though desperate to have more of its fill.
"Now let's see if my angel can still handle this cock, huh? You cannot even begin to fathom, ugh—"
Towering build over you, as he adjusted his position over you, you felt meek and feeble against him, yet wanted nothing more than for him to devour you whole.
"Just how fucking much, I've been waiting for this precise moment... To feel your walls swallow my cock, huh? Fill you so full and good of my seed."
His long cock had grown stiff since the moment you'd removed the last single piece of cloth, torn from your body. Feeling his tense, sprung member against every crevice and naked surface of your body was painstakingly feverish: like some taboo toy you had been separated from, eager to play with once again. Its veiny, blush tip tauntingly traced lightly at your entrance, etching deeper and deeper with each breathless word spoken, and every moan whimpered, until his mass was completely plunged into your velvety vanity.
"Seven Hells— Forgotten just how tight you were, baby. I can feel you clenching, missed me that terribly, hmm? Poor thing... Must've been going crazy without me."
"Y-Yes, A-Aem— Y-You have no idea."
Aemond was more often precise and cautious when it came to sex: his movements and pace often calculated and deliberate although a different side completely showed itself now. You had to give him praise. It had been far too long, especially for newlyweds since you had both been last intimate. He was desperate for you, just as much as you had. He had grown impatient now, yearning to be with you, to be inside of you: keen to take his please with you in this very moment, for who knows when he could be next called upon and needed, only to disappear once again.
"That's my good, good girl... Always doing so well for me, having waited so long for me. Deserving of all my special treatment—"
His harsh thrusts were formidable enough to sway you as you lay still. Aemond gripped tightly at your wrists, keeping you and himself steady. His breathing once again resumed a faster, more grunted pace, as his thrusts grew careless. Only having the one goal to fuck you senselessly full of him.
"Mayhaps I'll fuck a babe into you, princess... Does that sound good? Leave a part of me inside of you to grow and to hold."
"Ughh— Yes, Aemond. Fuck me full. F-Fuck me till I s-swell, b-baby."
"Your commands, princess," A breathless grunt uttered after each word bespoken. His once straightened, neat loose strands, now a mottled, sweaty mess of platinum locked, strangling against your fingers, as you keenly relished in pulling and tugging at.
Whenever he was close enough, your lips suckled onto his fair, pale skin of his chest and neck, leaving remnant, red marks shaped vaguely of your plump lips. The fury of the pain from between your inner thighs was undeniable, for it had been so long since you laid with your husband. Your walls at first foreign to the excruciating stretch, as his long, rigid cock plummeted and burrowed its way into your cervix.
The long-awaited high was surreal, Aemond taking his pleasure in shooting his warm, fresh load deep into you, as you felt your unison wetness coating him. The mess seeping through the gaps. He remained nestled inside until he felt sated that you had taken his seed.
Embraced in each other's loving arms, the beauty in the intimacy with Aemond was that it never ceased with the sex. He often took pride and initiative in taking care of you even after, an old habit that seemed he did not forget so easily...
"I'll have the maid prepare a warm bath my dearest, in the meantime you stay in bed."
Hastily wiping the sweat off, dressing himself once more, only managing to don his trousers, he seated himself down beside you again.
"You mustn't feel haste to care for me, Aem. You were the one that went to war... You must rest now."
His longer fingers reached out, soothingly brushing aside the loose strands of hair, away from your beaming face. Instinctively, a warm smile radiating from his face, as he seized your presence.
"I shall rest when you are safe. It is my duty as your husband to protect you, and as your lover, to love you. Those vows I spoke many moons ago, I have not yet forgotten, nor will I. Everything I do, I do for us... I love you."
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Aemond taglist - @megatardisbaby @harrypotteranna23-blog
credit for divider - @/pommecita
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rose-tea-and-strawberries · 8 months ago
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I'm falling so badly, I'm coming apart
Things you do that make them fall deeper in love with you ♡
feat. Ace and Deuce
I write the reader as female
Masterlist
Ace Trappola
When you not only indulge in his whims but actively and happily encourage him
He teases you by asking you to be his cheerleader during a basketball game and you take him on by appearing in the front row of the stand, carrying a huge banner with his name over your head and loudly yelling his name for the whole island to hear 
You his heart race and face flush for reasons that had nothing to do with the adrenaline of the match as he jogs over to you and plants a kiss onto your lips, smiling as he hears your breathless gasp and feels your hands interlock around his neck, pulling you closer in front of the whole gymnasium
Or when he’s goofing around, fully expecting you to give him that endeared but exasperated look he adores only to find that you - the responsible, reliable and hard working prefect - are goofing around with him
And it fills him with such unimaginable euphoria, when he sees the childlike sparkle in your eyes as you beam at him and his antics, when you mirror his teasing grin and play off of him so perfectly it’s like your souls were intertwined 
It just makes him feel so fluttery that you love him not despite his flaws but also with his flaws
Sure it does hurt a little, when he hears whispers about how tough it must be for you to be babysitting dating such a tactless troublemaker, at how horrible it must be to settle for someone who could only bring you down when you have so many other admirers that are much better suited for you, but when you look so beautiful wearing his clothes, laugh at his jokes, smile so genuinely that your face glows so ethereally, all his worries get pushed to the side
When others would roll their eyes and mutter about him being his usual obnoxious self, you smile at him all soft and gentle, like you can see past his cocky exterior and right into his heart which has your name engraved inside it
And when you bless him with that loving gaze, eyes brimming with pride as you throw your arms around him in an embrace, saying his name so sweetly he fully understands why sailors would willingly drown themselves whenever sirens would whisper a syllable, when you proudly stand next to him as you call him your boyfriend or refer to yourself as his girlfriend, he knows
He knows that your heart has his name on it as well
Deuce Spade
When you love both sides of him
He can’t help the rosiness that blooms over his nose and cheeks when you coddle his soft side; making him adorable bento boxes and omurice meals, when you smile so dearly when he prattles on about his day, when you gift him bouquets of flowers and plush chicks despite his pouty insistence on that being his job, when you take time out of your already overloaded schedule to study with him and not getting the slightest bit annoyed at his slow uptake (instead choosing to praise him for every correct answer), when you drown him in affection for every good grade, every track and field win, every time he feels like his dream of being an honour student isn’t as impossible as he initially thought
When you show just how proud you are of his change for the better, just how much you believe in him
And also when you’re not only unperturbed by his shameful delinquent side that he still fights to keep at bay, but you also dote on it, lovingly bandaging his bruised knuckles, your gentle eyes staring right into his as you press soft kisses against plasters and bandages that he swore he would never wear again (though the baby chicks decorating the plasters you carry around in your bag aren’t exactly as unappealing as the old bandages his younger self would proudly parade)
When you don’t even hesitate to press your lips against his cheeks or mouth when he inevitably slips up and spits out gruff curses, lowers his voice with a growl lets a threatening snarl pull at his lips as he clenches his fist, hackles raised and ready to strike, only stopping himself when he feels your hand make its home in his - and, well, your pecks don’t exactly stop his subsequent self hatred and guilt but it certainly does 
Though he does feel some shame for it, he feels absolutely enamored in you wearing his old leather jacket. He swore that useless old thing could bring back nothing but horrid memories of fights and tears but seeing you so happily cuddle into it, all he could feel was fondness and longing. And, he realises that, yeah, maybe there are some things about his past that don’t leave such a bad taste in his mouth as you smile at him when his gloved hands click his helmet straps into place under your chin, or as he feels your body pressed flush against him as he takes you for a late afternoon spin on his magical wheel, drinking in your excited whoops as he akira slides down a deserted road 
And when you give him that look, that piercing look that tells him that you know about the inner contents of his head, that makes him feel like a butterfly pinned to a wall, his thoughts being laid bare, inspected and examined, yet still let yourself melt against him and kiss him with just as much love and desperation that consumes him
It makes him feel almost worthy to call you his
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darkdevasofdestruction · 1 year ago
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The White Rose of Jerusalem ~ King Baldwin IV x Reader
Summary: As a young girl, Y/N had the honour of marrying the King of Jerusalem, just before the healers found out of his fatal diagnosis. Though she had the choice of backing down from a fruitless marriage, she remained faithful to the young boy-King who captured her heart.
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Note: I know the chance of people knowing this movie are very slim, but I was long fascinated by King Baldwin IV and re-watching this movie for the N-th time only reinforced that notion; And I’m too hyperfixated to study for exams, so I gotta do this.
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Note 2: I have two endings in mind, one with a happy ending, which will be the default one, and another, with an angsty, sad one, which I will be writing under a line and a warning. :) Hope you’ll like it!
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Note 3: The lyrics from the Angsty Ending come from the song ‘Luthien’s Lament’ by Eurielle, with some words alternated, to fit the story. Hope you like it, and that you will be compelled to check out her fantastic work! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F3X5CrPn8I
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She was just a little girl, not even a decade old, when she was chosen as the most fitting candidate at being the future wife of young lord Baldwin IV, the future King of Jerusalem. A beautiful lad with long locks of gold like a field of wheat shining in the summer sun, and eyes as blue as the celestial azure sky, fair skin, flawless and angelic like that of the most beloved seraphim, and a voice so soft and tender that would put anyone to ease.
Princess Y/N was so nervous - How could she possibly compare to... How could she possibly become good enough to stay around the future King of Jerusalem? Her worries were plaguing her mind so much, that she simply stared at him, with the eyes of a scared fawn, completely forgetting that she was supposed to do a pretty courtesy and speak.
But the boy could see your pretty face as pink as a lovely flower in bloom, from something as silly as nervousness around him; He chivalrously offered his hand for her to take, and he guided her away from the wave of adults they were surrounded by, and outside, to the lush gardens of Jerusalem where there was nobody to bother them. He hummed idly and scanned the place, before abruptly stopping in from of a bush, and cut a single white rose, which he de-thorned and put in her hair. “There, a beautiful flower, for a beautiful lady.” she couldn’t help but cast her eyes down, unable to meet his. “You see, out of all the flowers in the world, I think a white rose fits you best.” he smiled down at her. “Do you know their meaning, My Lady?” Y/N began biting on her bottom lip, whilst her fingers were anxiously fidgeting and picking at one another. “Forgive me for my rudeness, Your Majesty. I did not mean to disrespect you with my silence and awful behaviour.” The young lad tilted his head to the side in confusion, before reaching out to her hands, holding them dearly. “You have not offended me, My Lady. Still, I would like to request you not to harm such beautiful hands. I have never felt anything as delicate as them, not even flower petals.” her timidness was adorable, he noted. “You need naught feel uncomfortable around me, nor abide to such formalities. I would like for you to speak freely - You are soon to be my lovely wife, and I wish for you to become my confidante.” Baldwin could feel her hands tightening their grip slightly on his own. “I am asking again, whether or not you know the symbolism of white roses -- May I call you by your name? I wish for you to do the same in return.” “Y-Yes, of course, Your Majesty, you may call me as you wish.” the boy’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Baldwin. My name is Baldwin. Do call me that.” the alarmed look in those gorgeous eyes of hers, that resembled the most precious gems, only made him realise the overly strict upbringing that she had, so afraid to step the wrong way, or do any kind of misdeed, in fear of being punished, or quite possibly, bringing about Armageddon. “I-I could never show such disrespect to the future King of Jerusalem!” the boy let out an amused exhale, before gently raising her chin up to have her look at him. “Y/N. We are going to be married. For you, I will not be the King. I will be your Husband. If the two of us do not trust each other whole-heartedly, then who else can we trust?” Baldwin finally felt a little satisfaction once she finally dared meet his sight, only for her to bow to him deeply, which once again, confused him. “I wish I will one day end up being a person that you can rely on... Baldwin.” the childish smile of glee that the boy held made her heart leap. “I do not know much, but I wish to learn everything. I was limited in everything I was taught, in detriment of becoming the perfect wife and mother, fit for the King of Jerusalem, so much so that I forgot that I am allowed to live for myself.” “Then I will teach you how to live.”
Though she continued to be as shy as ever, barely capable of speaking up, especially to adults, Baldwin was graced with the most dazzling smiles from the young beauty, whom he’d teasingly call ‘My Wife’ with every chance he got. They were so adorable together, and so very in love with each other, that his elder sister, Sibylla, although jealous of their happiness, would often declare them as ultimate soulmates. They were glued to each other.
It was Baldwin who encouraged her to approach the horses and tend for them, and it was his instructors who taught her how to ride, so that they could ride together whenever they wanted to have some fun, by themselves; The young Price could see the remarkable bond she had made with all of the horses she took care of - Only the most gentle person could create such a connection with a sensitive animal like that.
They would write and recite love poems for each other, though the boy was much bolder than her, and would have to read her love confessions himself. In spite of that, she was content with singing for him, which would, in turn, urge him to ask her for a dance, outside, in the gentle moonlight.
Though he wasn’t one for painting, he loved all of the flowers that Y/N would paint for him - She only ever liked drawing flowers of all kinds, and pretty landscapes; And he would hang around all of her most precious masterpieces in his own bedroom.
They were doing everything together, to the point that Sibylla felt a little lonely, but Baldwin became even more enamoured with Y/N during one evening, when he was pondering over a chess puzzle made by one of his instructors; And there she came in, like Virgin Mary herself, brightening up his dimly lit room. She towered for a few seconds over the chess board, and moved a single piece before flicking over the enemy King piece. Baldwin looked up at her, then back at the board, and up again in complete disbelief - Such an easy solution, yet he kept overcomplicating a thousand useless and difficult ideas, only to end up with no outcome except for his own ultimate failure.
The boy shot up to his feet and engulfed his lady in his arms with so much love, kissing both of her cheeks. “You are a fantastic strategist, my rose! You are going to be my most treasured advisor!” “Oh, I could never - I just moved a piece, nothing that great!” but the boy shook his head vigorously.  “Nonsense! I’ve been losing nights over this, and I couldn’t figure it out! If it weren’t for your insight, I would have continued to agonise over it.” he explained tenderly. “Even the wisest of kings need new opinions and views.” “Then, I hope I will continue inspiring you in the future also, and that you will see me as worthy of staying by your side.” the boy could see small tears gleaming in her eyes, though she held the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen. “I wish for nothing more than to see you succeed and be known in history as the best King that Jerusalem ever had.” with a burst of boldness, she embraced her fiance tightly, nuzzling her face in the crook of his neck. “I love you.” “Generations forward will be hearing of the wisest and most supportive Queen of Jerusalem, the one who equally reigned alongside her King; the one so kind and caring that all our people will look up to her.” he smiled tenderly, his hand caressing her soft locks. “Just like the purest white rose, so innocent and beautiful, wise, enlightening, intelligent, inspiring of hope, compassion, peace, humility, understanding, tranquility.” cupping her face, he tilted her head so that he could touch his forehead to her own. “And representing of an eternal love, genuine and unbreakable.” his voice was so soft, so loving. “I love you.”
But this love was soon going to be put to test on one day, when the young prince was outside, playing around with other noble boys, while Y/N was making flower crowns and embroidering with the girls. The boys would pinch each other, and rough each other up, scratch and slap their arms; They made so much noise, crying out, whining, whimpering and yelling from paint, but it was Baldwin alone who uttered no sound, and remained as quiet as the lake.
“My love, you are bleeding!” Y/N rushed to his side, stopping his friends from continuing to play around.  “Oh, is that so? I have not noticed.” he looked down at his arm, examining all the marks left on his skin, and although they looked painful, he could barely feel anything more than a simple pressure. He could barely even feel her touch. “Have not noticed?! Your whole arm is in awful shape!” the girl shook her head in worry before turning around to look for any of his mentors. “Lord Godfrey! Lord Godfrey, please do come over!” once the man stepped in front of them, Y/N explained what happened - From the concerned look that the adult tried to conceal from them, the girl realised he suspected something with a grim epilogue.
The young prince was treated by the royal physicians the whole day, while Y/N remained alone in his room, pacing around aimlessly and agonising over the truth being concealed from her, yet after many hours, when the Moon took over the skies, and the stars were twinkling the brightest, Baldwin was returned to his bedroom. As Y/N tried to run over and engulf him in her arms, she was stopped by Lord Godfrey. “Princess, I know that you cherish the Prince dearly, but I bare terrible news. His Majesty is being suspected of a disease called leprosy. It would be unwise for you to keep in direct close contact, as you would be at high risk of also getting this curse.” Y/N looked up at the adult with tears rapidly streaming down her face. “It’s alright, my dear rose. I value your health and life above all else. If being apart will ensure your safety, then I am content.” “Don’t you dare say such blasphemy!” it was the first time Y/N ever raised her voice above that sweet, comforting mutter of hers. “Am I not your wife? Your soulmate? Your confidante?” she asked in disbelief. “I have promised I will be staying by your side, until the end of times - The amount of years matters little - But there is no life worth living if you are not in it. I would much rather live a short life, and be able to support you for as long as God may keep you on this Earth, than live a long life, cursed with not being able to see you again.” Even a hardened Lord like Godfrey could feel his heart trembling with emotion at the loving confession from the young lady, who fell to the ground and hugged the boy’s legs. “Please, my love, do not drive me away from you, unless you grow to hate me, and should I ever be so awful that I may make you despise me so, then may God strike me down where I stand, for I could not bare to be torn apart from you.” “Y/N, my love, please, never kneel before me. Out of all the people that I may be reigning over, you alone, shall never kneel.” Baldwin had to gulp down his emotions, though he felt light-headed from such a bold and heart-wrenching confession, and he helped her get up. “I do not want to give you this wretched curse, but I would be a liar if I were to say I were not selfish, for I want to hold you in my arms forever, just as before.”
The realisation that half of his right arm and the hand were completely numb completely shattered his father’s heart, and he had the best physicians, maesters, priests and what not to treat him with oils, ointments, poultices and even charms, yet nothing worked. Though Baldwin had quickly gotten used to the idea, Y/N continued being in denial, and took over most of the physicians’ work, entirely, from then on. She was his wife, and she wanted to take care of him for as long as they had together; She simply loved him so much, and this disease was killing her, more than it did him. Such an intimate thing, touching his skin, cleaning it with herbs and oils every morning, lunch and night before sleep, and she would wash his feet and hands, just like Jesus did to all of his apostles in the Bible. Baldwin felt himself wanting to cry - The love of his life shouldn’t feel compelled to take care of him like that; That’s what servants and healers were for; Yet all the same, he felt so grateful for having someone who loves him so much...
But with so much love, comes the uncertainty of the future, and when he stops being the beautiful Prince that he is now, and becomes blind, disfigured, and loses feeling in all his limbs, will she remain by his side? His heart will never stop loving her, and although the selfless part of him hopes that she would run away and find someone better, some handsome knight or lord to take care of her, someone healthy and with many decades ahead of him... He was still human, and he was selfish. He wanted those few years he has ahead of him to have her by his side, until he does not open his eyes to see the daylight again.
Years passed and tragedy struck Baldwin and Sibylla, once their father died and the young boy of thirteen had to be crowned. A mere boy of thirteen, forced to become the ultimate leader of God’s Kingdom of Heaven, with Raymond, count of Tripoli’s help through his regency, and the unshakable support of his wife.
Baldwin and Y/N stood straight and tall, with the grace and elegance befitting the King and Queen of Jerusalem, though the pressure was weighting heavy on their shoulders, and the lives of so many people, and their Holy Land, were in their hands. The archbishop stepped behind Baldwin and did a cross-motion over his forehead and said a prayer, before putting the crown over his head. “Behold, your rightful King and heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Jerusalem. Long live the King, in prosperity!” people chanted ‘Long live the King!’, though it felt more like mocking, given his condition - Granted, the people were unaware of his leprosy, save for the physicians and the closer advisors - They had to be kept in the dark, at least until his coronation... What will happen further, was a mystery. The crowned Baldwin took the other crown from the pillow and stepped next to his beautiful wife, dressed so formally, with such grace and etherealness, that she looked akin to an angel. “I, Baldwin IV, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, choose Y/N L/N, the woman to be my wife, and with the help of God, she will rule her people with the same love and kindness as always, and continue supporting me wisely. Long live the Queen, in prosperity!” as the King placed the crown over her head, the people chanted ‘Long live the Queen!’ again and again, awaiting for their King to sit on the throne and be given the scepter and  globus cruciger, whilst the Queen was standing up next to him.
That evening, Baldwin and Y/N were finally allowed to formally spend the night in the same room, without earning scrutiny from the religious people around, who were bound to gossip senselessly. Wearing their sleeping clothes, the King was laying on his side on the bed, watching his Queen embroider a handkerchief, with his name written with golden thread. “Are you happy, Y/N?” the boy asked, suddenly. “I am happy that you have not forced me to abandon you. But I am not happy, knowing that your disease is disallowing you to live a normal life.” she answered with such ease, that it sent a shiver down his spine. “You are supposed to answer personally, not with tying your answer to someone else.” Y/N shifted her gaze upwards, a cheeky side-smile gracing her beautiful features. “And what if my happiness is tied to this certain ‘someone else’, as you like to call yourself?” she challenged him playfully. “Then, I would call you a fool in love.” he chuckled, smiling fondly at the girl. “And I would be guilty of the same charade.” “There is no room for guilt in love, my darling. Though duty is the death of love, I am allowed to make my own choices - This liberty, it was you who had given it to me, and for that, I will be eternally grateful.” she explained, placing the handkerchief on the table, before stepping by the bed and kneeling, leaning on the edge, their faces so close to one another. “You could have gone home with your parents, yet you chose to disobey them, and remained the wife of a leper, willingly. That was a silly choice. I am going to make you the youngest widow in history.” he spoke bitterly, and though his hand reached out to cradle her cheek, it ultimately fell down on the sheets, afraid to directly touch her skin, in fear of passing the illness. “And I will regret only not having met you sooner, and the cruelty of God, for taking his most beloved human so soon into his Eden.” Y/N took his hand and kissed his fingers, before placing his palm on her cheek. “But loving you, is something that I would do over and over again, if given the chance.” “I do not deserve you, my sweet rose.” he felt himself breathless, every time he heard her speak such tender words addressed to him. “Remember what you told me, so many years ago, to encourage me to live for myself?” he only wished he could feel her soft touch playing with his fingers so dearly. “Howsoever you are played, or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone.” she cited him so perfectly, word by word, that is genuinely surprised him, after over 5 years, that she remembered his advice. “Even though those who presume to play you be Kings or men of power, when you stand before God, you cannot say - But I was told by others to do thus - Or that virtue - Was not convenient at the time -. This will not suffice.” “To think that so many years would come to pass, and you still continue to surprise me.” though he wanted to chuckle, this body froze entirely once Y/N climbed in bed next to him. “Y/N -- If you contract this curse because of me, I would never forgive myself.” “The Saracens say this disease is God’s vengeance against the vanity of our Kingdom. As wretched as lepers are, the Arabs believe that the chastisement that awaits you all is going to be far more severe and lasting, once you are thrown in hell. If that is true, I call it unfair, and that God is nothing but a farce, and life, a cruel joke.” she snorted unceremoniously, before laying down and cradling his body flush against her own, his head resting comfortably on her chest, and she was soothingly playing with his hair, lulling him to sleep. “To hell with anyone who can consider you anything less than an angel, for you are the kindest man I have ever met, and Jerusalem is lucky to be under your rule. The way I see it, God must have thought you so worthy of joining the highest angelic ranks, that he was unaware of a faster way of taking you to his side. It is, after all, the prettiest of flowers that we are quick to pick first and show-off to others, before they wilt in our hands, and we throw them away.” “I am truly honoured to have someone like you hold such sincere feelings for me, and speak only superlative words regarding me. I feel better, knowing that you do not think me lesser, or unworthy, in spite of this misfortune.” though his limbs were gradually getting numb, he could feel ever part of her body touching his own. “Y/N.” he called out her name, cuddling into her, like a cute kitten seeking comfort and warmth. “I am happy.” he was deathly afraid that he could somehow transfer the disease to her, but in that second, his senses were drowning in her love. “You make me happy.”
But the boy at three and ten winters, barely crowned and orphaned, had not expected to grow into the respectable young King that he became by the time he reached sixteen years of age, though by now, the entirety of Jerusalem was calling him the Leper King - They found out the inevitable truth of his condition, and despite the wretched ostracizing that all of those commonfolk cursed with this skin disease, he was able to show that a noble, wise, kind and strategic King and deserved all the respect of the world.
The young King had all of his advisors around him, telling him of all the risks, the cons and pros of going to war against the powerful leader Salah al-Din; They were greatly outnumbered, but if they weren’t going to war, the odd were high that Jerusalem would fall to the Muslims. Sitting on the throne, Baldwin felt himself unconsciously raising his hand to his forehead, feeling a migraine creeping, from the overwhelming amount of shouting and unnecessary bickering and arguing between each notable knight, commander and representative of each army under the command of the King of Jerusalem. He wasn’t one to raise his voice, nor did he bother - At the end of the day, men were going to continue being men, and they will continue trying to dominate and overpower each other.  At some point during that abysmal meeting, he noticed the frown on his Queen’s face, clearly irritated that the adults were creating more problems than offering good advice for him, and she could barely keep herself under control not to jolt up to her feet at yell at them to stop behaving like petulant children. Alas, neither of their Royal Majesties were known to raise their voice or even get angry at their subjects; After all, it would be beneath them to stoop so low, when virtue was everything they were supposed to embody.
By the time they returned to their shared chamber, Y/N sighed dramatically, complaining about the unbecomingness of those nasty advisors, whilst Baldwin couldn’t help but chuckle at her reaction. His sweet rose truly was adorable in everything she did. Instead of laying on the bed, the young lad sat in front of his chess board and stared intently at the pieces laid in wait to begin a game. Suddenly, a brilliant idea knocked him into a new sense of giddiness. “My sweetling, would you be willing to brighten my day by engaging in a game of chess with me? I cannot think of anything better that could relax me after such unnecessary stress.” His wife smiled at him with that loving tenderness, as she sat opposite of him and urged him to begin the game by moving his piece first. Baldwin carefully moved each of his pieces so that he would create the ultimate strategy, not only for his own side, but manipulate the girl’s pieces into well thought-out spots. In the end, it was Y/N who won the game, but it was him who started cheerfully laughing in triumph. “Never once have I seen a man so happy to lose a game.” Y/N smiled lightly. “What have you concocted, you little weasel?” “The game we just played, my love, contained my strategy for the upcoming war with Salah al-Din, with my side being the Muslims, and yours, Jerusalem.” he exclaimed with glee, getting up from the table. “Jerusalem will prevail once again!” “How cunning of you! Never once during this game have I thought you would be manipulating me into playing my pieces the way you wanted me to. You are wise and intelligent beyond your years, my love.” she praised him, stepping in front of him, and gently placing her hands over his face. She could see the way his disease was rapidly and heavily affecting him, and that once angelic face of his was now scarred and ulcerated beyond anything that the physicians resoluted or predicted. He had to learn how to guide his horse with his knees, instead of the tugging of the reins, as he lost feeling in his right arm completely, and the disease was quickly afflicting the skin of his other limbs also. “And neither will the Muslims, my sweet rose. They will be unable to retaliate, and will have to retreat back to Cairo.” despite all of the scars, and the way his golden hair was beginning to fall out and lessen, that adorable, boyish smile of his remained as charming as ever, and his crystal eyes were just as bewitching. “Will you please allow me to follow you in this crusade?” Baldwin was tempted, as her enchanting fawn eyes were his biggest weakness; His ration and wish to protect her was above even that, however. “I dearly wish to never be apart from you, but my love, you are the Queen of Jerusalem, and with me gone, there will be no one that I trust to rule the Kingdom. I need you here to rule over our people and keep them safe.” Y/N simply sighed and rested her head on his chest, her arms gently around his body. “As always, you are right, of course - If only that you weren’t! How many sleepless nights of worry will I endure, and nightmares shall plague me, until I receive good news from a dove, and am allowed to rejoice your victorious arrival?” the King chuckled softly, resting his chin on the top of her head, reciprocating her embrace. “How dramatic, yet poetic - I am honoured that you worry so much about me, but you needn’t, that is my oath to you. With your aid, my strategy will prevail, and with God’s providence, I have the courage to mount my horse and lead our people to victory.”
And true to his affirmation, the young King rode valiantly into battle, at Montgisard, and just as the strategy dictated, they gave the Muslims a run for their money, returning to Cairo very much defeated, and barely with a tenth of the initial army. Christianity had prevailed once again, and God had not turned his back on them yet.
“You should have seen me, my love, with the Holy Cross shining brightly with the light of Heaven, leading our army to victory! It was such a fantastic win, that I felt powerful as never before! I felt truly blessed and empowered - Like I will be walking the sacred lands for a whole century, and fighting for our faith!” the young King was laying his head in her lap, as she played with his golden locks; Whenever hair would freely fall off in her grasp, she would quickly throw it away, so that her husband wouldn’t have to see the way his beauty was being forcefully taken away from him by the cruel claws of Death. “If all the most beloved Kings were to live for centuries, our world would be a better place. You, especially, deserve to live for many, many hundreds of years, a prodigy above all else, and loved like no other before you.” his grin couldn’t be wiped from that pretty face of his. “Ah, if only that were true, my darling!” he exclaimed. “Now, I only wish to settle my sister with a new husband, deserving of her. With the death of William de Montferrat, and the birth of my little nephew... Sibylla is all alone, and named the heir to the throne once I am no longer.” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I have to take her with me on public affairs, so that the people would get used to her being the next ruler - But she is so against everything I try to do for her.” “Sibylla is still young and very beautiful, my darling, there is no need to worry over her future husband. I know time might not be on our side, but it is on hers. She will be fine, I assure you.” she leaned down to place a small kiss on his forehead. “I only pray that you are right, my dear. I love my sister dearly, and I only wish her the best.”
That wish, however, was never going to become reality, as come 1180, an adventurer under the name of Guy de Lusignan found his way in the Holy Land, and seduced Sibylla into marrying him. Baldwin was angry as never before, and even threatened to hang him for daring to debauch the Princess of Jerusalem, yet the tears of his sister and mother were enough to break his resolve and agree to this marriage out of love. That was the first mistake he did, and one that could never be rectified. Guy was a man that earned the scrutiny of the whole realm faster than any man before, and became the most despised being in the country, by all, except for his wife.
By this time, the King was turning twenty years of age, yet he knew he wouldn’t reach to see his age change its prefix again. His condition had gotten so severe that he completely lost feeling in his limbs, and he wasn’t allowed to travel. Not only that, but the skin ulcerations were so drastic, and his face was so disfigured, that he had the blacksmith forge a silver mask for him to wear at all times, and his body was bandaged in its entirety, and robed in white, covering himself whole. It was only his wife, Queen Y/N, that was allowed to gaze upon him, as she continued the ritual of bathing his sores and treating them.
Every day of his life, King Baldwin was happy that he hadn’t given his most darling white rose this accursed disease; Likewise, every day of her life, Y/N continued to pray to God that he may spare her beloved husband and cure that curse that afflicted his body and health - He was a worthy King, and most capable; one the likes that Jerusalem had never witnessed before - Surely, he deserved a blessing!
God, however, did not discriminate when it came to life-taking and misfortune. Be it King or peasant, Lord or fisherman, all had the chance to get sick and die before their time, no matter their worth, faith or the amount of good deeds done whilst roaming the earth.
The stress and all the incompetent people that advised him were none the wiser, and they only dug him an early grave, with all their arguing. Not only that, but Sibylla continued to deny her brother’s wish of divorcing that good for nothing scoundrel - The whole Jerusalem was against him and his lack of sense - Were he to become King, he would destroy the Kingdom of Heaven in a day. She was a fool in a love, but not like himself and Y/N. The Queen was right - Duty is the death of love, but the reverse was also available. Were Sibylla a simple woman, a merchant, or simply a living being without any responsibilities on her shoulder, her devotion would have been most applaudable - But she was the heir to the throne, and she had duties to the realm, she couldn’t afford to be so foolish and cling onto a man that would lead not only to her destruction, but to the whole realm falling into ruin!
By the time King Baldwin turned a most exhausting age of merely three and twenty springs, he was beginning to turn blind, as his eyes were incapable of shutting, and his corneas were burning and stinging him so excruciatingly painful, yet there was nothing he could do in that regard. Despite barely being able to walk around anymore, he had to deal with the consequences of that single mistake of allowing Sibylla to marry that incompetent Guy, who not only broke the pact that Jerusalem had with the Muslim by attacking one of their caravan and killing all of the people there, but he also dared massacre Salah al-Din’s own sister. How can his sister not see that this man was only going to bring ruination to their home? How can she continue devoting her life and affections to such a monster of a man, good for nothing and hated by all, whose head is set only on carnage and bloodshed, under the pretext of spreading the Faith and Word of God over the heathens that tried to obliterate them and convert them?
Thus, King Baldwin stood slumped in his throne glued next to the Queen’s; She gently held his hand, their fingers intertwined; He loved the visual of their hands being so intimately together, before all to bare witness at their pure and sincere love that transcended even leprosy and scrutiny, yet at the same time, he hated how he could not feel her hand, and that his own was bandaged over like a mummy.
“Guy de Lusignan and Reynald de Chatillon, with the Templars, have attacked a Saracen caravan.” just as always, the crowd of knights began fighting each other like a bunch of babbling baboons, until some person of authority yelled at them to keep silent.  “It was no caravan. It was an army headed for Bethlehem to desecrate our Lord’s birthplace.” Guy justified his immoral actions under the guise of protecting the Faith. “Reynald, with the Templars, have broken the King’s pledge of peace. Salah al-Din will come into this kingdom -- “ the Count of Tripoli was promptly cut off by the daring fool. Oh, how Baldwin wanted to let go of his reign and live the remaining days of his life in peace, alone with his wife - Yet knowing the Kingdom would fall into this monster’s hands, he could not, in good faith, abandon his people, nor could he see his Holy Land destroyed before his very eyes. “Tiberias knows more than a Christian about Salah al-Din’s intentions.” Guy got up to his feet, walking to the count, towering over him in an attempt to intimidate the old and seasoned Lord. “That I would rather live with men, than kill them... Is certainly why you are alive.” the knight sneered discreetly at him. “That sort of Christianity has its uses, I suppose.” the King and Queen shared a look of annoyance. “We must NOT go to war with Salah al-Din!” Tiberias exclaimed. “We do NOT want it, and we may not win it.” he was the single voice of reason left in that sea of idiots who cried out ‘Blasphemy!’ like a flock of sheep.  “An army of Jesus Christ which bears his Holy Cross cannot be beaten!” some Templar spoke with unbacked confidence. “Does Tiberias suggest it could be?” the scarred man remained silent, looking with disgust at the rest of the knights. “There MUST be war! God wills it!” those idiots were using God’s name as a means to bloodshed. The Queen could stand this complete disarray no longer, and though she missed the moment a servant brought the King a message to read, she shot up to her feet, and shouted at them the people for the first time in her life - Great was everyone’s surprise, especially Baldwin’s, to bare witness of something different than her otherwise honeyed and soft voice that soothed one’s worries. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.” she recited a line from the Exodus 20:7. “Are you suggesting we are using the name of God with unclean intentions?” Guy looked up with defiance at the woman, whose elegant and royal aura turned cold and stern, like a strict ruler. “I am your Queen, and you will address me as such.” she harshly snapped at him. “You, who are worth less than a worm, and held in no one’s graces, dare create such disorder in the presence of the King of Jerusalem. The disrespect you have shown is punishable by death.” she stepped towards him, head held high, dignified. “To think that all of you will be listening to the poisoned tongue of this viper; That you would summon God’s name, to commit bloodshed - Have you forgotten the Ten Commandments? Thou shalt not kill, it was written on the stone tablet given to Moses - Yet all of you are thirsty for war - Not out of Faith, but out of boredom. You listen to this warmonger who knows naught of diplomacy, of tactics and strategy - Lest of all, of the good of the people of the Holy Lands.” the crowd of knights could feel their blood freezing in their veins from such a scolding. “All of this, in front of the King! Such rudeness should be the cause of you yelling out Blasphemy! Not evident caution and refusal to go to war against an army that is outnumbering our own greatly!” “You talk much, but say very little... My Queen.” Guy taunted the Queen with blatant disrespect. “What would a woman know of war, when all she knows is to was to sored feet of a man that may not seen the world outside of these Holy walls in so long? You call me lesser, yet when the King is no more, neither will your title remain. We are the same - Lucky to have been chosen, yet worthy all the same.” “How wrong you are - For at the end of the day, marriage or not, I will continue being a Princess, yet you will be nothing more than the fourth son, good for nothing, landless and with no title - And most of all, a sinner.” the Queen drew the sword from Tiberias’s scabbard, pointing it at Guy. “Kneel before your Queen.” his eyes widened in shock at such an order. “Are you going to ignore a direct order from your Queen?” Guy’s head snapped towards the King, who waved his hand at the man, as to follow the order. “The Queen’s command is absolute.” Baldwin nodded his head briefly at the buffoon who dared disrespect his wife, not only in front of him, but in front of the whole court. He was glad that someone was putting that idiot to respect, however, he hated that his wife had to step over her kindness and get angry, for his sake. Begrudgingly, Guy knelt down, though he glared at the Queen with those scorned, dark eyes. In a swift move, the woman swung the heavy sword with such ease, ready to behead the man - Only to stop, right as she touched his neck, careful not to injure him. Sibylla was quick to shout at her to have mercy and spare him - That she loves him, and what not. She was ignored. “Do not mistake my past kindness and mercy, for weakness. I may be benevolent, but I do not tolerate disrespect addressed to me, to God, and especially to the King.” she returned the sword to Tiberias, who nodded at her in acknowledgement and approval. “That your head is not rolling to the ground for children to play is my final act of mercy and acceptance towards you. You disrespect the King, your disrespect Jerusalem. Trust me when I say it, Guy - I always mean what I say.” she returned to her seat next to the King, who handed her the message to read. The look on her face said it all - She was both concerned and terrified, not for her life, but for his own. “Salah al-Din has crossed the Jordan with 200,000 men.” the King spoke out once ultimate silence reigned over them all. “He’ll make for Kerak and Reynald de Chatillon. My Lord...” TIberias was the first to speak, walking over to Baldwin in an attempt to help him stand up. The King gestured him to stop, and subtly shook his head, as a way to show he was still capable of at least getting up from the throne. “We must meet him before he reaches Kerak.” the King whispered in his advisor’s ear. “I will lead the army.” “My Lord... If you travel, you’ll die.” the Count of Tripoli voiced the Queen’s concerns. “Send word to Balian to protect the Queen and the villagers.” the King addressed the crowd then. “Assemble the army.” came his resolute order that earned a chant of happy cheers from the knights.
The King did not wait to consult with the Queen - Instead, he went into his room to rest, for on the morrow, he would be marching towards Kerak to create some kind of temporary peace treaty with the Muslim leader. Y/N shared a look with Tiberias. Fear was welling deep into her eyes - She was terrified. The nightmares that kept plaguing her every night were coming to fruition much faster than anticipated. Her husband was going to die. “Tiberias... I know you care for the King as much as I do. Though we both know his mind will not be swayed... Please, do try to keep him away from this journey.” her voice became a weakened whisper. “I cannot bare the thought of losing him so soon.”
Tiberias could feel his heart impaled, yet he was unable to utter a single word. He placed his hand on her shoulder, as if to show they share a similar kind of pain, and he hung his head. Y/N went to their shared room, and seeing her husband sitting on the chair, by the chess board, she fell to the ground, hugging his feet and placing her head on his lap as she wept. “Please change your mind, my love! Do not go to your death, not so soon! You are so young, still so strong -- I cannot... I cannot imagine living without you.” Baldwin sighed, his eyes stinging, yet feeling a little relief from the forming tears that were wetting his dry eyes, and his bandaged hand was placed numbly over her cascading hair, petting it. “Forgive me, my sweet rose.” he spoke with a shaky voice. “I did say I was going to turn you into the youngest widow, yet I did not imagine my condition would hinder me from even reaching thirty years of age.” even his body was softly trembling, in tune with her pitiful sobs. “Forgive me for breaking your loving heart. I was not the husband that you deserved. I was unable to bring you happiness, nor pleasure, nor was I capable of creating a family with you. God had forbidden me from even touching your body, in fear of transferring this curse upon you... He had denied me the feeling of your delicate skin, and a normal life span spent by your side.” “Do not say that!” she exclaimed, raising her head. “You have been more than I ever deserved. You have been more than I could ever dream of, even. I never desired for anything in life, except to see you alive, every time I woke up, and to feel you heart lul me to sleep, as you held me so dearly in your arms. For as long as I could hear your tender voice... Just knowing you were alive... It was all that I ever needed.” she reached her hands up to his face, taking off his mask and revealing the horrific, disfigured visage of the one seraphic boy. “If I could, I would trade all of my tomorrows, just to spend another night with you. I would trade all of my days, so that you could keep on living on, for as long as I would have. I would take the disease upon me, just to rid you of this curse. I would accept even being purged by the divine fires of retribution, if it gave you your health back.” her sight was blurred with the amount of tears hindering her and rivering down her face. “But to hell with God, and with the Faith, and with everything there is! Why must a good man endure misfortune after misfortune, and die young, whilst incompetent, evil bastards like Guy keep on living and thriving so frivolously?! I prayed day in and day out, and I have devoted all of my being to God, but instead of returning your health, he is taking you away from me even faster!” she wailed so pitifully, that Baldwin felt his entire being shattering before her anguish. “What kind of sin have I committed, that I cursed the love of my life as such a tender age, just a little after I have met him?” “You couldn’t possibly think to blame yourself for my disease.” he scolded her in complete disbelief. “Y/N, my love, never think that way.” he placed his hands on her elbows, urging her to raise, only to guide her to sit on his lap. Her slight panic was quickly shushed with a reassurance. “I am ill, not made of glass. If anything, this proximity could only serve to energize me.” Y/N gently held his hands and took off the bandages, revealing the severe ulcerations, the leathery skin and the open sores, red and painful, were it not for the numbness. She kissed his fingers lovingly, before placing his palms over her face. “Were I a mighty Phoenix, I would be able to heal all of your wounds, with the amount of tears I have shed. I would be able to fly into battle by your side and spit fire over our enemies, but also thrill a song of bravery and victory to embolden our army.” she took a ragged breath, stammering over her words. “But I am just a woman, powerless, and foolishly in love with one man, who is dying before her very eyes, and can do nothing but live in fear that he may take his last breath when she is not around him.” “You always did leave me speechless with your love confessions - And that is no easy feat, my sweet white rose. To say that I love you, is an overstatement... Yet God may strike me when I say... I do not love even He, the way that I love you. My only regret is that I was not able to even kiss you, when I was still young and handsome, fitting of a young King. I wish only to make you the happiest... If only life was not so cruel with us.” Y/N leaned down slowly, placing her lips over his own, completely uncaring of her malformed mouth, or the possibility of catching the disease herself. She wasn’t planning on living longer, if he wasn’t going to be alive and hold her hand any longer. “A silly woman, foolishly in love with a silly man, just as foolishly in love with her.” he muttered, gazing at how beautiful she was, even with eyes puffy and sparkling with tears, and skin twinkling wet. 
The King guided his Queen to the bed and cradled her into his arms to cry as much as hear dear heart needed, all whilst playing with her hair, as much as his useless fingers allowed him to, and whispered a string of endless sweet nothings, though he was aware, no word of love was going to sooth or mend her shattered heart, and the fact that his lack of days were the cause of it was a bittersweet knowledge.
On the morrow, the King nodded at Tiberias, placing his hand gently over his horse’s snout to urge it to kneel so that he could mount it and ride towards Kerak, where he would face Salah al-Din and propose a truce. The journey was long and arduous, lasting a whole week on horseback, yet he rose tirelessly, and slept like a baby in the tent, every night. There were no physicians by his side, nor his Queen, to wash and treat his skin damage - But it was fine, he wasn’t going to live long anyway, so it mattered little.
After seven long days, they reached Kerak, the stronghold of Reynald the Idiot, and with the King of Jerusalem in front and the shining-white Holy Cross that brightened up the battleground, the King, dressed the part, rode and faced the leader of the Muslims. 
The two king met, face to face, horse to horse - One, the Splendor of Christianity, dressed in full white, yet with a silver mask and the light-blue tabard of Jerusalem, and his horse was the same, white and pure, as was his virtue and soul. The other was dressed in black, and his horse was black also, to represent his own faith and leadership to his people, but also, his humbleness. The two stared each other in the eyes, siesing each other but, yet it was Salah al-Din who spoke first. “I pray you pull back your cavalry and leave this matter to me.” “I pray you retire unharmed to Damascus.” the King replied, his eyes seemingly unblinking behind his silver mask, adorned with crosses and swirls, to represent his Faith and Love of God. “Reynald de Chatillon will be punished. I swear it.” the man vowed, speaking in a soft, yet firm tone. “Withdraw, or we will all die here.” the two’s silence, as they stared each other up, was this time interrupted by the Christian King. “Do we have terms?” The Muslim leader only had one fear, and that was of the Leper King, who so easily bested him at merely 16 years of age, and heavily outnumbered; Now, older, yet with a frailer constitution, even the ghost of him could send a shiver down his spine; A rival worthy of his respect. “We have terms.” he nodded at him. “I will send you my physicians.” he humbly offered, wishing his rival to remain alive and healthy, for as long as he may. “As-salamu alaykum.” he King of Jerusalem tilted his head down and bowed his hand as a sign of respect, wishing him and his people peace. “Wa alaykumu s-salam.” Salah al-Din rose his hand and replied with the same respect, wishing him the same.
The two leaders of their faith turned their horses around, and Sibylla watched from the safe fortress, as her brother was victorious in avoiding an all-right war, and rode towards the stronghold of Reynald, who quickly ran, disheveled, to greet the King, who gracefully rode before him, and commanded his horse to kneel, so that he may dismount. Reynald offered a courtesy, as the King stumbled in front of him, whipping out a wand from his waist. “On your knees.” he ordered, with such disgust as no one has ever heard him before. Reynald did as instructed without hesitance. “Lower.” he had to be deeply punished for all of his thoughtless actions that served to ruin everything he worked so hard to build for his people. In an exhausted breath, yet still as kingly, he spoke “I am Jerusalem.” with another swift move, he took off the glove of his left arm, and the bandages, revealing a thoroughly maimed hand, along with a golden ring with a large ruby. “And you - Will give me the kiss of peace.” he extended his seeping, untreated, dirty hand towards Reynald, who started slobbering and kissing his fingers without hesitation.
From disgust and anger, the King used the scepter to strike his face - One, twice, and a few more times, until the idiot was on the ground, cradling his injured face.  Though the physical exhaustion took over His Highness, and as he turned around, he stumbled to the ground, and into the sand. It was Tiberias who rushed to support him to stand, along with two guards, that helped him lay on a comfortable couch, as the Count of Tripoli commanded the arrest of the idiot. With a nod at the man, the King was risen with the bed, and carried out, so that he may return to Jerusalem, with the much needed aid, before he may return by himself, on horseback.
Once returned, however, the guards that greeted them started yelling ‘Imposter!’ and claiming the King that led them to Kerak, the King that settled peace with Salah al-Din, their most feared enemy, the King that punished Reynald - He was an imposter, and the real King Baldwin IV was in his study;  The Imposter was quickly immobilised, struck down and roughly brought over before the real King, whilst the Imposter was thrown to the ground to kneel, despite Tiberias and the other knights’ protests and attempts to stop such blasphemy.
Before their eyes, however, the knights witnessed two Kings - One a little taller than the other, and dressed in his normal robes, sitting on the throne and reading; The other, on the ground, just smaller, and with the War outfit on. The King of Jerusalem rose on his feet, startled at the sudden disturbance, and the peculiar sight before his eyes; It would have been almost hilarious, were he not enraged at the guards having been so rough with the Imposter, when he did not ordered them so. “You may release that one.” though the guards looked in shock at the orders, they complied. “Of course, there is no one who knows me better, than yourself. I was foolish to believe you would just remain quiet, at home, where I asked you to be. You fool.” his scolding was light-hearted and tender. “Tiberias, tell me, how did the affairs go?” “Your Majesty... Ergh... Salah al-Din agreed to a truce, and Reynald de Chatillon was severely punished... By... You.” the Count of Tripoli found it difficult to voice out the ambiguous message. He was upset that he did not realise the truth sooner; He had let himself be tricked, and so well. “All of you - You may leave.” the King ordered with a dismissive yet respectful wave of his hand. “But -- My King -- The Imposter --” one of the knights stammered over his words. “There is no Imposter, but a loving Queen who was ready to accept anything may come, to save her husband from a life-ending journey.” the King stepped in front of the Imposter, and taking the silver mask off, revealed the beautiful face of the Queen; The revealed earned an ocean of protests and gasps - How was a woman capable of not only fooling everyone, but of mimicking the King so flawlessly. “Perhaps it is not that you know me best, but that you know me better than even I know myself. Truly, I am honoured, and my heart soothed with honeyed mead, to know that you have gone through such trials, for my sake. Foolish indeed, yet with such positive outcome that I am incapable of feeling anything but happiness.” with some difficulty, he knelt besides her, so that he may pick her hands and get her up. “As I told you so many times, my love, you do not bow to me, for it not I alone, but the both of us, that are Jerusalem.” “My sweet King, I bare good news, for once!” Y/N spoke for the first time since she’s arrived; Though her voice was weak from dehydration, not only was she happy that her quest was a success, and that her darling Baldwin was not upset with her tricking him, but she was also smiling so brightly, so much so that it surprised the young man, as he hasn’t seen her so genuinely blissful since they were children. “Salah al-Din sent over his physicians, and they offered a gift - It is called Chaulmoogra oil, and they said people in India and China use it to treat leprosy - The statistics show great improvement, unlike any other treatment before. That man truly respects and cherishes you as a rival, and a leader, my love.” Baldwin froze on the spot, seeing the woman reveal a rather large carafe that she kept hidden underneath the robes, hanging from the sash. Were it not too hasty to have hope again? A miracle treatment, so suddenly, for him? And even if he does get treated, his face will never recover, and he doubts his limbs are going to feel again. Still, he was unable to refuse her, seeing as it was the only thing that put such a genuine smile on her face, after so long. “Alright, my sweet flower - For you, I shall try any treatment, no matter how revolutionary or eccentric.”
He could barely keep himself standing up, as Y/N, in a fit of euphoria, threw her arms around his neck and swayed him. The treatment made him nauseated more often than not, and he vomited at some points, yet after good weeks of continuous intake of this oil, added with the herbal cleaning and ointments for his skin, and regular walking, his body was beginning to feel a little stronger than previously - It almost felt that he was getting younger. It was a scary feeling, for it was so good and hopeful, that he feared losing it, and in turn, Y/N’s happiness.
As Baldwin began regaining his strength, and to some degree, even the feeling in his arms and legs, and he was properly capable of holding a sword again, he was emboldened to think of a future of his own. First, he asked Sibylla whether he agrees to divorce Guy, especially now that she knows how awful of a man he was - But once again, he was denied - Thus, he was forced to exile this idiot, and with him, his sister also followed. With the timely death of his nephew, Baldwin V, at the mere age of 10, the King realised he had no direct Heir to ascend the throne once he dies, whenever that may be, and as he was incapable of creating an heir himself, and with Sibylla refusing to step up as a Queen, if Guy does not ascend with her; Once again, it fell on poor Tiberias to help out with this matter. He trusted Balian to become a good King, but of course, he wanted to live a peaceful life, as a blacksmith, not restrained by the burdens of a King.
Next, he had to get rid of both Guy and Reynald, permanently, so that there would be no risk of enticing the Muslim Leader to wage war on Jerusalem; Especially as he has him to thank for his unexpected recovery, and for as long as he may live, he will remain eternally grateful for his kindness.
Baldwin fortified the walls of Jerusalem and strengthened the bonds with the armies under him, and kept the Kingdom of Heaven safe. It was a true wonder, being able to stand on the balcony, with his wife’s arms around his body, and watch the starry night illuminating the city to beautifully, and the song of the crickets and toads resounding soothingly through the place. 
Though he was still uncomfortable with letting go of the mask, knowing well enough that people will keep being horrified of his disfigured face, he felt at ease, dancing with his lovely white rose around their room, hearing her sweet giggles, and seeing that beautiful, dazzling smile of hers that captured his heart, from the very first time that he laid his eyes on her.
Baldwin was a fool, so deeply in love with Y/N, that he prayed to God every day not to make him up from this reverie, for he is eternally grateful for keeping his Faith in times of need, and that He replied to him with the greatest gift there was - Not just the treatment, but his Queen’s happiness restored. The glee of a fool in love.
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Though the quest that Y/N embarked on was a success, once she returned to Jerusalem, she was met with the reality of her husband’s health, which was degrading at such a swift pace, even without the journey made. It was ridiculous, thinking that she went through all of that, yet it aided Baldwin with nothing, save for two weeks of worry over her well-being. What a disaster, she thought to herself, as she returned to her room, her head hung, and discarding the Kingly outfit with annoyance and disgust, as though she was a little brat throwing a temper tantrum.
“I do not have the power to say how worried I was over you, for I cannot help but be so proud of my Queen, and infinitely happy beyond the horizon, to feel your heart soulbound to mine own. I missed you more than the deserts miss the rain.” though he tried to reassure Y/N, he knew he wouldn’t be seeing the change of the seasons.
And his prediction was correct; Soon, he was unable to move whatsoever, and his white outfit was changed with a royal black and golden one; Even his silver mask was replaced with a golden one, and he could only lay on the bed, his eyes mostly closed, and awaiting the sweet release of death.
Unexpectedly, Y/N was came over, smiling, but also crying, holding a goblet filled with honeyed red wine; She sat comfortably over his waist, looking down at him - She looked like a child, with her eyes glazed, and expression slightly dazed - And she took another gulp of the wine. “Oh. Hello, my sweet white rose.” it was difficult for him to speak, and though he wanted to address her unexpected drunkness, he couldn’t. He knew his time was ending, and perhaps selfish, he wished to see her smile as the last thing he’d witness in this world. “What were you dreaming of, my love?” she slurred cutely, dropping the now empty goblet to the ground, her hands placed on his chest, and slowly roaming up to his chest. “How great it would have been, if we were not separated by a curse.” she hummed, allowing herself to fall over on the bed next to him, smiling widely. “We are in the earthly Kingdom of Heaven. Once we reach the Celestial Heavens, there will be no afflictions or diseases hindering our love any longer, and for the rest of eternity, in the afterlife, our love shall continue onwards, transcending this unseen barrier between us.” she nuzzled into his side; Baldwin wasn’t sure whether she was giggling, or sobbing - Yet he was pretty sure she was doing both. “We will be ruling over nothing except our love, and we will have no responsibility, except to ourselves. We will finally be free to live, and to love... And to be happy.” “My love... What was in that wine?” with a lethargic move, Y/N pulled him into her body, his head resting onto her chest.  “What were you dreaming of, my love?” she asked again - The excruciating revelation dawned on him - Y/N had poisoned herself. She could not bare seeing him die before her eyes, she couldn’t bare him dying before her, and her having to endure all the agony of a lonely life, with a shattered heart, never to be mended again. She cared little whether people would find out she killed herself, and she would get beheaded. Her only wish, written, was to be buried with him - Wish that she also voiced to him. “I was back in that summer, when I defeated Salah al-Din.” if he could cry, he would, not only for himself, but for Y/N feeling so heartbroken that she felt compelled to end it all. “Do you remember it? We were only 16.” “Of course I remember. I was so worried for you, out there, without anyone to care for you. I was praying to God every hour I was awake, to keep you safe, and have you return to me. I remember I jumped on you from happiness, as soon as you dismounted your horse. I toppled you to the ground. The Archbishop yelled at me for not behaving like a Queen, but Tiberias pushed him away, so he wouldn’t bother us.” he could only offer a weak, breathy chuckle as a reply. “You are as beautiful as the white rose that I put in your hair, that day, when we met. I am truly honoured that I had the fortune of being your husband. No man ever felt love, as much as I did, thanks to you.” he stole one last good look at her, before settling comfortably in her embrace. “My sweet white rose.” he called out. “Will you sing for me?” “Yes, my love. Allow me to sing you to sleep.”
I seek a man named Baldwin Whom I bid await me here I pledged that I would see him Before he leaves this sphere
This man of whom I speak He gave his heart to me But thence my soul grew weak And at last it too broke free
So borne upon an urgent breeze I travelled to his place Where only one thing could appease The torment I now face
Oh tell me I am not too late To see my love once more For that would be too cruel a fate I beg him be restored
That we may take a little time To bid our last farewell And remember all we shared erstwhile Such joy no one could quell
For never was a greater love Than that within our hearts Once born, forever binding us Through not e’en death we part
Who was the first to ascend to heavens, not even God knew, for they both appeared before him, holding each other so tenderly, looking like the most beautiful youth, foolishly in love with each other.
As in Eden, so on Earth, the two were found cradling each other, though the heart beat that once lulled the other to sleep, was no longer present; Yet a smile adorned both of their faces.  Just as left on the note, Y/N was buried together with King Baldwin IV - The King and Queen who loved each other more than any before, and certainly, any in the future also - The two lovers who could never be torn apart, in life, death, or anything in between.
Up there, however, they were no a pair of King and Queen, but just a man and a woman, fated to eternally love each other. They were just themselves - Y/N and Baldwin - Two fools, so foolishly in love with each other.
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merci-bitch · 3 months ago
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So long, farewell
Angelique Bouchard x fem!reader
Summary: When you are reborn as a Collins, Angelique faces a dilemma.
Warning(s): angst?
A/N: hi! Been a long time, now this one is long. Quite long. I absolutely loved writing it, specially the first bits. I’ve had the honour of getting help from @arewecoolio . You’re an absolute doll and I thank you dearly for helping me with this! Xx
Now if there are any spelling mistakes or such, please let me know and I will fix it!
Taglist: @escapetodreamworld
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Through the dark corridors of the manor, a woman was walking with her head held high, despite being a maid. A bucket in hand. The sound of her heels clicking against the marble floors, and the flush of the water brushing up against the sides of the bucket echoing throughout the corridors. Rounding the corner of the corridor, she lowered herself to the floor and began washing the surface beneath her. The French doors leading to the balcony in front of her open, letting in fresh air. Despite the cloudy sky, the sun shone through. Lighting up the room and the woman sitting on her knees on the floor. She looked up when she heard sounds coming from outside. She saw the Lord’s son and a woman. She felt a sudden fury arise inside of her. Just as soon as her anger had begun, another sound came, but from behind her. The woman looked behind her. It was you.
“Oh, I didn't know you were washing the floors in this wing of the manor, Angelique.”
Angelique didn't answer you and looked forward again. Only to see the two people on the balcony kiss. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to love her, and only her. Your eyes followed what she was looking at. You slowly lowered yourself to your knees next to Angelique. You saw the intense look in her eyes and the way her knuckles were turning white from the grip on the brush.
It wasn't a secret, at least not to you. You knew of her attraction to the Lord’s son. Perhaps you were the only one who’d noticed. The way she would look at him. In that way, you’d look at her. You knew it was wrong. A woman couldn't possibly love another woman. It was unheard of. It was dirty, and yet Angelique made you feel different. You dipped your brush in the bucket next to the older woman and began washing the floor by the French doors. Catching Angelique off guard.
“What are you doing?” she said. Her tone carried the intense look from her eyes. They were sharp. You almost wanted to run away and hide from the gaze—those dark eyes. You'd dream about them.
“Helping you.”
-
Angelique remembers you. She remembers how she wasn't supposed to fall in love with you in the end. It wasn't fully love. Barnabas was her love, yet she couldn't get you off her mind even after you were taken from her. She felt this possessiveness over you. You were innocent. You always looked at her. You never gossiped about men like the other maids did. You were burned into her memory. Your eyes, your face. Everything. Even after she’d cursed Barnabas, you seemed to know everything about her. It was as if you knew she was a witch, but that was ridiculous. No one knew.
When you died, Angelique felt another wave of rage arise from within. You died from an illness that wasn't treatable at the time. She did everything she could think of but nothing worked, and for the first time in her life Angelique felt as if she was failing someone. Of course, the feeling went away quickly. It wasn't like her to suddenly show mercy to her feelings. She wasn't a failure.
She was by your bedside when you passed. Seeing the life disappear from your eyes made Angelique feel strangely empty. Why, she couldn't understand. She didn't love you. Despite your confession to her just then, but then again you wouldn't leave her mind. After your death, she kept seeing you everywhere. Your scent kept following her. As time passed Angelique became more of what she was. Creating her own story of ancestors into the new world, you still followed her. She never thought you'd be reborn as a Collins and ruin her plans yet again.
-
“Oh, it is lovely to see you again.”
“It's nice to be able to come back, mum. I know that I said I would come back sooner, but with graduation taking up a lot of thought and time and then you know I just had to travel with my father,” you said with a smile. You looked up and looked into the eyes of your mother.
“You may look like me, but this spontaneous side of you certainly came from your father.” your mother said. Flicking the hair out of your eyes.
“I hardly know what you mean. I am pure innocence.” you grinned. “Is Carolyn in yet?”
Elizabeth scoffed. “As if she ever leaves her room. Now, I do have one more important thing to discuss with you. You see, we have a guest.”
“A guest? Is it someone I know?” You asked curiously as you walked up the stairs alongside your mother. The house seemed to look so much different from when you were here last. Or perhaps that was just the boarding school talking.
“No, you don’t but he is family. His name is Barnabas Collins, the third.” She said with an unweary tone. It confused you. Was this relative, not someone she liked? Then why were they here?
“Is everything alright mum? He isn’t dangerous is he?” You joked.
“Dangerous? Whatever do you mean?”
“You know, like a vampire or something.” You gestured with your fingers to your mouth. Creating fake fangs. The look of short horror in your mother’s eyes spoke differently to the joke. Not seeing the fun in it at all.
“Will you stop that at once? Behave yourself. Go and unpack your things in your room.” Your mother pointed in the direction of your room. You held your hands up in defence, grabbed ahold of your bags, and walked further up the stairs and down the corridor to the right. You walked further down the corridor and opened the door to your room. The chill hit you immediately like a slap in the face. It sent a shiver down your spine. With a breath, cold enough to see it echo out in the room, you stepped in and closed the door behind you.
This room could have used a duster. You walked over to the large windows and with a small struggle, you finally got them open. Walking back into the center of the room you started unpacking when you suddenly heard a loud banging from downstairs. You walked over to the window again, only to see a red car in the courtyard out front. It looked far too fancy to belong to your family but perhaps this was the relative your mother spoke of?
Leaving the clothing item in your hands on the bed, you walked out of the room and down the corridor again to see whoever it was that was banging an awful lot at the door. As you got closer to the main entrance and living room you heard voices. Looking around the corner from the top of the stairs you saw your mother with her back towards two people. A dark-haired man and a blond woman. The more you stretched out to see, the less room you had on the step.
Upon your noise from the stairs, Elizabeth turned around.
“Ah, Y/N, this is Barnabas.” She pointed to the man who then turned around. A small gasp left your lips. The man was pale like snow. A tall and strong figure and dark eyes. The woman behind him seemed frozen in her spot.
“Hi.” You said and waved as you walked down to stand next to your mother. Barnabas reached out a hand to shake yours. It was awfully cold and your mother seemed to notice your hesitation as you shook his hand, hence the nudge to your side.
“And this is Angelique. She owns Angelbay.” Elizabeth said with a tight lip. “Angelique, Barnabas, this is my oldest daughter Y/N.”
The woman walked forward and shook your hand. Her grip is tight. Her eyes were dark, but shining in a way that intrigued you. Her eyes looked like they were searching for something in yours, and she wouldn’t let go of your hand as you tried to pull away. Her grip only tightened.
“It’s uh, nice to meet you ms. Bouchard.” You said, sending a glance your mother’s way. Asking for help perhaps? But as you looked back at the woman in front of you, you felt that sudden feeling again. A feeling you couldn't quite explain. Not even if you tried to.
“You’re someone we haven’t seen around here before. Where have you been hiding this one, Liz?” Angelique turned to your mother and said. The movement with her head was almost doll-like. Despite turning her attention to your mother, she didn’t let go of your hand.
“She lives with her father in England. He shipped her off to boarding school.” Elizabeth said, her eyes finding Barnabas’s behind Angelique’s back.
“England? How unusual. Seems like such a waste to ship her so far away.” As she said the last part, her grip tightened even more. You hissed slightly as you felt the bones in your hand start to grind together. Finally tearing your hand away from her grip, you let out an awkward chuckle. Drying your now sweaty hand on your trousers. The woman in front of you looked almost offended as you rubbed your wrist with your other hand, but the expression was quickly changed to something else. As if she’d let her mask slip.
You heard your mother speak, but you didn't hear what she said. The woman in front of you was far too intriguing. She terrified you, but at the same time, there was just something about her that you couldn’t quite place.
Angelique couldn’t believe her eyes. Was this some kind of punishment sent from her ancestors? Sending you back to her, as a Collins? And as Elizabeth’s daughter out of all? As if she didn’t have enough trouble with Barnabas coming back. Her only love. You just had to be reborn. And you just had to choose to be reborn now. Like Barnabas, you hadn’t changed a bit. Despite being reincarnated again, and being born from another mother. Your eyes. Those same eyes that had told her the truth so many centuries ago. A truth she didn’t believe. Did you remember her like she remembered you? Was this some hideous trick of faith? Of course not. Angelique made her pathway to faith.
-
You’d imagined your life coming back to your mother’s would have been strange, but you hadn’t imagined this. Ever since that encounter on the stairs, not only had your mother been acting weirdly towards you, but so had this new relative of yours. Barnabas.
You’d heard of the story of David’s mother, Laura. It was heartbreaking to see the boy still walking around claiming he’d spoken to his mother. In some way, you could relate to losing a parent. After all these years, despite having your father, someone was missing. You would never mention it to your mother. She seemed to have enough on her plate, not only with just Carolyn.
This doctor. Julia Hoffman. Your mother spoke so highly of her. With sarcasm. Despite your mother’s information that Julia was sleeping off one of her hangovers, she still walked into the dining room with a glass in hand.
And this Vicky. She seemed sweet enough, but something wasn't right with her either. Barnabas seemed exceptionally taken by her. It was a little sweet, but it certainly wasn't what you expected.
Perhaps it was just because you were an outsider at the moment. You didn't truly know anyone. Sure, you knew your mother and your half-sister. Your uncle and his son, but did you genuinely know them? The real truth was no. As you walked through town, this wasn't something you could remember from when you were last here as a child. Your mother had told you of how Angelique had burned the Collins business to the ground with her own company. Angelbay. Despite the name, you had the feeling she was far from an angel.
As you weren't a child anymore and hardly needed supervision, you took a walk. Since nobody else seemed to be even the slightest interested in showing you around, you figured you’d do it yourself. You'd seen a bookstore, a record shop, and a small diner. Being this close to the sea would have been nice if it wasn't for the awful smell of fish the closer you got. You stood by a fence, looking out over the water. The sky was concealed away by the clouds.
“Don’t you have far more interesting things to do?”
A voice from behind you spoke. Startling you out of your trance. Looking behind you, you saw that same woman from earlier today. Although now she wasn’t wearing that skirt. She was wearing trousers.
“Oh, hello again ms. Bouchard. I was just taking a look around town.” You said, suddenly feeling nervous under her gaze.
“Please, call me Angie. No need for such, formalities.” She said with a wide smile. Her tone was teasing as she spoke. She walked up the few steps and stood next to you, leaning up against the fence. Turning herself towards you.
“Of course, I was only being polite.” You said as an apology. Looking down at your hands. You felt so out of place here. It was as if you’d arrived in a whole different world. If Angelique noticed, she didn’t say anything.
“How are you liking the town so far? I’d expected Liz to show you around.” Angelique said, purely faking her enjoyment.
“It’s nice, I suppose. A bit different to what I’m used to. She was supposed to but something came up and here I am.” You shrugged your shoulders and gave a small smile to the woman in front of you.
“How about I give you a little tour then, hm? Finish off with some dinner?”
“Oh, Angie that’s real sweet of you but you’re obviously a very busy lady. I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that.” You tried to reason.
“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t have the time, and it is my responsibility on behalf of the town council to welcome new members to Collinsport,” Angelique said, her tone firm.
“Oh, alright then. Why not?” You said with a small smile and then followed her back down to the road.
-
You felt very uneasy with all the eyes staring at you and you were certain that it wasn’t because you were new in town but because of a certain blond sitting across the table from you.
“Would you like to leave?” She asked calmly. She seemed used to having so many eyes on her.
“What? No, of course not. I’m just not used to, you know.” You said, trying to gesture with your hands.
“Not used to having dinner with a woman, you mean,” Angelique said as she leaned back in her seat. Bringing the coffee cup up to her lips to hide her smirk.
“No! I didn’t mean it like that. This is great. You’re great. I just meant-“
“You think I’m great? My, completing me already? Darling, I’d thought I’d at least buy you dinner first.” Angelique‘s smirk only grew as she spoke. Despite this not being her original plan, she wouldn’t deny herself the fact that she was enjoying herself. You really hadn’t changed a bit. Even now, you still resolved to a blushing mess before her. She’d forgotten how much she had had you wrapped around her finger.
“Buy me dinner? You don’t need to do that. What I meant was all the staring.” You leaned in and whispered the last part to her. Trying not to let her teasing affect you. Angelique leaned in as well and didn’t look away from the eye contact she held with you.
“Oh, it’s no trouble, darling. It seems that they are just as interested in this new thing coming into our town as I am. It is not every day we have a newcomer.”
“You must be used to all the eyes on you all the time. I mean you’re practically famous!” You said popping a chip into your mouth with a small smile. Angelique let out a chuckle.
“I know how to do business right and so have the women in my family. I won’t stoop so low to not walk around without everyone’s respect. But not all like me, you know.” Angelique said, taking another sip of her coffee.
“Who?”
“Your mother for one.” She said. Her eyes suddenly sharpened when you looked down at your plate. Crying your fingers on the napkin in your lap before looking up again. Her eyes changed once again, as quickly as the wind.
“Half the time I’m sure my mother doesn’t even like me. You’re not special.” You said without even realising it.
“Not special am I? Now that’s a first. I must admit.” Angelique gasped. Enjoying the way you suddenly choked on your drink in realisation.
“Oh my god. I am so sorry Angelique. I didn’t mean it like that. Please believe me.” You almost begged. Angelique only hummed at you, with a small smirk on her lips as she paid the bill and walked out of the diner and stopped by her car.
“I apologise for what I said, Angie. Truly. You must know I didn’t mean it like that.” You said, hoping you hadn’t offended her.
“I know what you meant. I would have thought you and Liz were the best of friends.” She croaked her head to the side, watching you. Leaning up against the side of her car. Her skin shone in the darkness from the pale light of the streetlamp.
“Well, I suppose not. I feel like I hardly know anyone. Especially not that new relative that showed up all of a sudden according to Mum. Barnabas or whatever his name was.” You shrugged, not noticing how Angelique’s body language changed at the mention of his name. Her ears spiked and her body reacted to it like a drug.
“No?” She asked with fake curiosity. Crossing her arms.
“You met him. He is very strange, but sweet I suppose. They all stare at me, much like those people in there.” You pointed at the diner. “You’re the only one who hasn’t looked at me strangely, and I hardly know you.” You risked a glance at the older woman in front of you.
Angelique hummed again before replying. “Some people are special. Different from others. Some people who are different can only understand each other.”
As she spoke, you thought she talked about you. In reality, she spoke about someone else.
In the end, all you did was shrug your shoulders as a response to what she said. You looked up at the sky and sighed.
“I should probably be heading home, Mum’s probably worried sick already. It was nice meeting you under different circumstances, Angie. You’re not as bad as they say, or as my mother says. Thank you for today.” You gave the woman a smile to show your gratitude before turning slowly away to walk on the payment beside the diner.
“Where are you going, Y/N?”
It was the first time you’d heard her say your name. It sent a shiver through you. The way your name rolled on her tongue made it sound so different from when everyone else said it. You turned around in time to see her open the car door.
“Well?” She said with a raised eyebrow. “Are you getting in or what?”
“Oh, it isn’t necessary. I can walk-“
The glance she gave you was enough to make you shut up and walk those few steps towards her and get into her car. She closed the door and walked around the car and got in the driver's seat. As she turned on the engine, she gave you a wink.
Angelique might not have been entirely sure what she was doing with you. You didn’t remember her, and even though she remembered you and your confession of love to her on your deathbed, she didn’t need you. On the other side though, you were suddenly a way to get to him.
-
“And where have you been all day?”
You turned around and saw your mother leaning against the doorframe of her office. She must have heard you come in.
“Out. Seeing town, and making new friends.” You shrugged and turned to leave, but she grabbed your arm and pulled you inside. “What are you doing?” You asked, shrugging out of her hold.
“And out of all the people in town, you chose Angelique as your new ‘friend’?!” Your mother nearly shouted at you.
“What is your problem, mum? Honestly. There’s nothing wrong with her. She was being nice, and she showed me around town and then bought me dinner. That’s all. It’s not like you went with me.” You scoffed and walked over to the large window on the right. The one with the view down to town.
“Nothings wrong with her? She’s a-“
“A what mum?” You turned around, glaring at her. Daring her to continue her sentence. Elizabeth gave up, took a breath and walked up to you, grabbing you by the shoulders.
“Look Y/N, there are some people who are different. Some people do not wish us well, and Angelique is one of them. She ran the business to the ground and has continued to poke us out as strangers to this town. I’m only looking out for you, and you know I didn’t leave you to go out alone on purpose, but I certainly did not mean for you to go handholding with our enemy.”
“Enemy? What is this, seventh grade? She was nice to me mum. She didn’t look at me weirdly like you all do, and she for one seemed genuinely interested in spending time with me.” You turned around again and looked out the window. You felt your mum’s grip on your shoulders tighten.
“Please promise me that you’ll not meet up with Angelique again. She means only trouble.”
You let out a heavy sigh and unwillingly agreed. You didn’t listen to what your mum then later said. Something about rebuilding the Collins fish business. Your mind kept wandering back to the diner. To the day you spent with Angelique. To the way she kissed your cheek before you got out of the car. Purely innocent and done as a friendly gesture of course, but it left you feeling different each time you thought of it. Developing a schoolgirl crush on your family’s sworn enemy on the first day of meeting her surely was something. If not the wrong thing.
-
As time went on, you did your best to obey your mother’s order to stay out of Angelique’s way, but of course, rules are meant to be broken. Technically It wasn’t you, it was her. It was always her these days. You couldn’t get her off your mind. You’d seen her in town and always looked her away. Even unknowingly. Now that the family business was up and running again, it caused even more tension to grow between your family and Angelique herself.
You felt as if you were stuck in the middle of it all. She wasn’t all that bad, was she? She had only ever been kind to you. Your mother and Barnabas kept whispering in secret at times. You always wondered if it was about her. Angelique. He seemed to know her, which surprised you when he was visiting from England himself. And if you were to believe your mother saying it was the first time he was visiting, how could he possibly know her? You almost felt jealous. Not only by the attention he was given by your mum but by the attention given by Angelique.
It sounded ridiculous, you hardly knew Angelique. Sure, she had shown you around town and bought you dinner, but that was it and since your mother had forbidden you to meet her, It was quite impossible. But there was just something about her that caused your mind to wander. Daydreaming had never been something that had affected you, that was until now. She was everywhere in your thoughts.
“Y/N!”
You jumped as you heard someone bark your name. Turning to your side, finding your mother standing there with crossed arms and a rather disapproving look on her face.
“Eh, sorry. What do you say?” You cleared your throat and sat up straighter. Trying not to make it look like you were just caught daydreaming. Again.
“What on earth is going on with you? You’re hardly listening to me at all. And this isn’t the first time this has happened. What’s gotten your mind so occupied you can’t even think to listen to me when I speak to you?” Your mother barked at you. Staring at you intensely. You suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
“Nothing mum. I promise. I just haven’t slept well, that’s all. I’m sorry.” You tried to reason. Hoping she’d fall for the bait and leave it alone.
“Perhaps you should see Julia.”
Now this surprised you.
“What? No. Of course not. I’m fine. I promise.” You said as you stood up and pushed the chair you’d been sitting in, in. “I think I’ll take a walk. You know, to clear my head.”
“This is about Angelique, isn’t it?”
You froze.
“What? Why would you say that?”
“You’ve been acting weirdly ever since I told you, you couldn’t see her again or under any circumstances talk to her.”
“I’ve been acting weirdly? Says the woman who’s been whispering in secret with this new relative who showed up out of the blue.” You sparked back at her. How dare she?
“Barnabas and I aren’t secretly whispering and he is as much a Collins as you are.”
She kept on going with her speech. Your mother was always wise when it came to words and at this moment, she seemed to favour him over you. So you left for that walk.
-
Summer was going away as the leaves were falling off the trees and the clouds coming back with rain every other minute. The air was damp but cool. Perfectly enough to help you cool down. You’d never been the one to raise your voice at your parents, but your mother seemed out of line these days.
As you walked alongside the shops, the wind was getting harsher. The clouds were getting darker too, and you could almost smell the incoming rain, but it didn’t bother you. You stepped into a coffee shop as the sky finally opened up. Just barely making it inside without getting drenched. You sat in a corner booth and drank your tea while watching the rain fall. Rather depressing, but given the circumstances it felt right. Perhaps the only right thing to do after a fight with your mother. It made you miss your father and your home.
“Is it just me, or are you always alone?”
A voice behind you spoke. You turned around and felt the air leave your lungs for just a second.
“Angelique.”
“So you do speak. I was almost certain your tongue had been cut off.” Angelique said as she sat down opposite you.
“Oh, no I haven’t been ignoring you if that’s what-“
“Oh, but that’s exactly what you’ve been doing, isn’t it? Did Mommy finally tell the tale to scare you away from me?”
“You know that’s not true Angie.” You tried to defend yourself. You knew it was useless as she had some right in what she was saying.
“Isn’t it? It wouldn’t surprise me. Liz has always seen me as the big bad wolf. I can leave if you’d like.” She said, halfway out of her seat.
“No! Please, don’t go.” You said, rather fast. If not too fast. And a bit louder than you would have liked. Angelique’s lips curled into a grin and sat back down again. Lightning a cigarette.
“So tell me, why the sudden silence? I thought we were friends.” She said as she blew out the smoke.
“Yes I know, and I’m sorry. Truly.”
“Funny, I’m suddenly getting déjà vu from this conversation.”
You looked down at your hands. A small sense of guilt finally creeping up on you. You suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
“How about we talk somewhere else, hm?”
You looked up and saw her staring at you rather intensely. With a small nod, you got up from your seat and followed her out in the rain. Knowing your mother would probably have a fit if she knew what you were doing right now. You got into her car and let her drive off to whatever place she had in mind.
That place being her house. It wasn’t what you had imagined when she’d offered to speak somewhere else. It was a house on a hill a little further away from town and of course, it was a big one. Despite the big house, it didn’t look as modern as you thought on the inside. Sure, marble floors in the hallway and a massive golden mirror, but it was elegant. Fitting for someone like Angelique. You suddenly felt even more out of place.
You nearly jumped as you felt someone come up behind you, only to remember it was Angelique herself. She’d pulled off your coat. With a hand on your lower back, she lead you into the house. The room on your left was the living room. A room with windows looking out over the town, much like the ones in your mother’s office. Two big white sofas surrounding a fireplace.
“You have a beautiful home,” you said as you looked around. Large paintings hanging on walls. On the other side of the room was a record player. You couldn't help but let curiosity get the better of you, and walked over. You peeked through all the records she had. Most of them being French. You should have guessed it. She did have a rather French name after all.
“Have a thing for music, do you?”
You turned around to see Angelique holding two glasses of wine and an amused expression on her face.
“Oh, I didn't mean to look through your things. I was just curious.”
Angelique nodded her head towards the sofa closest to the fireplace and sat down. You walked over and sat down next to her but at a distance. She handed you one of the glasses but you refused politely.
“What, you don’t drink?”
“I’ve never had alcohol before no. My father doesn’t really drink. Well, not unless it’s scotch.”
“Try it.”
You had a feeling she wasn’t going to give up so you did. It tasted bitter and you made a face as the liquid went down. A laugh arose from the older woman next to you before taking a sip of her own. “You’ll get used to the taste.” She said, closing her eyes and leaning back against the sofa. Basking in the warmth from the fireplace. You couldn’t help but stare at her. It wasn’t intentional but you couldn’t look away. Her pale skin shone in the light from the fire just as it had done with the light from the lamppost that night. You almost wanted to touch it.
Angelique knew you were staring. She had a sixth sense after all, but it felt just like it did all those centuries ago. Your eyes on her at every possible moment of the day. Something in her enjoyed it. She wouldn’t admit it to herself, the fact that some part of her had missed you. Never, but now that her last meeting with Barnabas hadn’t ended well, despite the lustful hour of what she would call love, she couldn’t help but think of the possibilities of having you on her side. What it could mean for her and Barnabas.
She opened her eyes again and caught you staring. You quickly looked away, a blush forming on your cheeks as you’d been caught. A small chuckle came from the woman next to you. Her chuckle was low and sultry, sending a shiver down your spine. Her gaze lingered on you, suddenly cloudy and intense as if she could see right through you. The room seemed to dim around you and the air thick with anticipation, as her hand slowly reached out to touch yours, igniting a forbidden desire within you. You looked down at where her hand suddenly grasped yours, tugging at it. Pulling you closer to her. Your knees suddenly touched hers. You looked up at Angelique again, only to realise how much closer she was. Letting out a gasp as a reaction.
“Don't be shy," she whispered, her voice smooth like velvet. “I don't bite. Well, not unless you want me to.”
The blush that had previously appeared on your cheeks crept up your throat once again. Angelique’s other arm was draped over the sofa’s back. A shiver went through you once more as you felt her fingers trace the skin of your wrist.
“Tell me, how are you getting along with this new relative of yours?”
“He’s nice I suppose. He taught me how to play chess. He’s been spending a lot of time with Vicky. They go down to the water quite a bit with David.” Your eyes had turned to the fireplace, so you didn’t notice the way Angelique’s eyes changed as you mentioned Vicky. She wasn’t going to be a problem much longer. How odd. You being reborn, and Josette too.
“How do you know him?” You asked. Turning back to her, unknowingly curling yourself more towards her. The question caught Angelique off guard. She hadn’t thought of a cover-up story for this.
“We met here in Collinsport. The same day when I met you.”
“Funny, you seemed to know each other, even back then.”
“Funny indeed.”
“I should probably go. It’s getting late, and I wouldn’t want to be a bother.” You said, clearly sensing it had been the wrong thing to ask. As you got up, Angelique grabbed your hand. Her grip was just as tight as the day you met when she wouldn’t let go of your hand. It was giving you déja vu.
“Stay. Have another glass of wine. You’re an adult, aren’t you? Mommy doesn’t need to know where you are all the time.” As she spoke, she filled up your glass and handed it to you, tugging you down to sit.
-
You had shared a bottle. Or mostly, you had drank it. Angelique had had two glasses. It had left you woody, and more unaware of your surroundings than before. Leaving you prey to a predator named Angelique. As the evening went on and the more alcohol you consumed, the more you fell for her trap. Her small touches and her eyes looking you over. You were done for.
Your head was lying on her shoulder. Your body curled into hers as you comforted yourself in the warmth from the other woman. Her fingers were running through your hair. Your eyes were slipping shut and a pleasant hum left your lips. It was a moment someone would have called soft. Not Angelique of course. She wasn’t soft, but she always had a plan.
“Feeling tired, Y/N?”
You hummed in response. Wrapping your arm around her waist to hold onto her. Angelique chuckled to herself. She let you fall asleep curled into her. She hardly knew what time it was, and she didn’t care. The longer you stayed with her, the more of a riff there would be between you and Elizabeth. The more you would be on her side. Of course, it wasn’t because she enjoyed it. Having you so close to her. She was only using you to get to Barnabas. That was what this whole thing was about. Angelique had realised long ago that you didn’t remember anything from your past life, but her plan had always been to use you to get to him.
-
“I love you, Angelique.”
Angelique froze upon hearing those words fall from your lips. She refused to look you in the eye when she moved again. You grabbed her hand and begged her to look at you. Even on your deathbed, you needed to see her one last time. With her by your side, you could pass on peacefully. She didn’t say anything as she sat down. She let you hold her hand. She didn’t understand why you would say such a thing to her. She didn’t love you. She wasn’t sure she liked you. But from the moment you started, you’d been on her side. You had been able to read her like no one had before. Perhaps it was for the best that you were dying. Who knew what you would do if you found out she was a witch?
“I love you.”
She saw the life drain from your eyes. Those three words being the last you said, and the last you said to her left her with a strange feeling. Suddenly, something else was happening to her. She was feeling something other than hatred for Barnabas' denial. She was feeling empty. The anger was quickly coming back. She wouldn’t let the death of you come in her way. No matter how it made her feel.
-
The dream still haunted you. It didn’t feel like a dream. It felt like a memory. Something that happened a long time again that you suddenly remembered, but that wasn’t possible. Was it?
It had been days. Everything was going into chaos. There hadn’t been any time to stop and think about it. Especially not now when the factory was burning up in flames. You’d been in your mother’s office as it happened. She wouldn’t let you leave her eyesight when she found out you’d spent the night at Angie’s. You didn’t remember it. You didn’t remember any of it. The only thing you remembered was that dream. Everything felt so different. Suddenly Julia was missing and nobody knew where she’d gone. Barnabas and Vicky had disappeared as well. You might not have grown up with your mother, but you knew she wasn’t doing well. Something was stressing her more than usual.
As you walked down the stairs to the front doors, you heard sirens. Your mother opened the doors and walked out. You walked out behind her and saw Angelique’s red car pull up alongside a police car. People from the town were gathering in the driveway.
It all went by so quickly as Barnabas suddenly walked out behind you. You’d walked closer to your mother as he suddenly grasped Angelique by the neck. The gasps from the people alongside your own as he bit into her neck echoed throughout your head. Your mother’s accusation of Angie being a witch as she suddenly threw Barnabas back into the house with ease. Her skin looked even paler as she turned around again after greeting the people behind her. It looked as if it was cracking. Like porcelain. A feeling of dread went through you. Perhaps your mother was right after all.
You’d followed your mother back into the house, standing behind her as she fired the shotgun. It all happened in the blink of an eye. The house catching on fire, Carolyn being a werewolf and Angelique making the house bleed. David’s mother’s ghost appeared and screamed Angelique up into the chandelier. Making it crash down into the ground. Your mother carried Carolyn out of the house, screaming for you and David to follow, but you couldn’t. Something in you couldn’t move. Instead, you ran to her.
“Angelique?” You said, your voice trembling with both fear and sorrow. For a reason, you couldn’t understand. That dream came rushing back to you. It wasn’t a dream, was it?
“Angelique, I remember where I’ve seen you before.” You said. You didn’t fully understand what you meant as you spoke, but the woman in front of you did. A glint of something other than pain flashed through her eyes. Her skin looked like a smashed porcelain doll. You looked behind you and saw Barnabas standing there. A scream of your name, coming from your mother made you move. Standing just by the door to see the life drain from Angelique’s eyes as she turned her head towards you.
Something in her was trying to tell you something just before it disappeared. It hit you like a slap in the face. A cry erupted from your lungs as the ceiling fell over Angelique. You almost ran in, had it not been for your mother’s arms dragging you away from the sight of your burning home. It had never been the house or your family. It had always been her. She was your love. Your true love.
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kitedraws-wof · 3 months ago
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hey there ! i don't know how i haven't stumbled across your blog before sir , your art is so chewy and edible ! ? >:O /vpos, gen i was wondering if you would be willing to bestow upon me the honour of drawing my silly guy if you have the time, of course :D
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this is plant [ unoriginal name i know, i made him when i was 11 okay- ] , my scrawny little pantala dragonet ! he's very shy and easily flustered , with a penchant for gardening and catching fire-flies in jars ! to be honest he doesn't have too much backstory because i never really put much thought into it aha :')
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I love plant dearly
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lovings4turn · 8 months ago
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ᯓ★ 𝐏𝐎𝐕 . . . 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌 𝐍𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑
— aka. a meditation on what it would be like to date william nylander
+ now , i am not the most familiar with willy , but in honour of the lovely @faerieroyal ‘s birthday , i have tried my absolute hardest to write a lil something (because i know they love him dearly) so happy birthday lovely — hope you like this little surprise !!!
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IN SHORT... loving willy is easy, and right, like the spring sun that warms your face as it filters through your window panes; comforting, a feeling that you never want to let go of. it's bear hugs and spirited kisses, strong arms to crawl into every night and a beaming smile to wake up to every morning. everything has fallen into place, all because you have him.
ᝰ you always claim he’s like an orange cat, in constant search of snuggles and somewhat mischievous and bright in nature. he could try to deny it, but he knows he’d be wrong, if the way he’s constantly nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck is anything to go by. his beard scratches the skin a little, but he always presses a soft kiss there in apology.
ᝰ if there’s one thing willy loves most in the world, it’s the feeling of you playing with his hair. it’s crazy, how much power your fingers hold: all you have to do is rake your nails soothingly across his scalp and he’s positively putty in your hands, any and all stress melting away in your hold.
ᝰ willy loves his silver chain. willy loves how much you seem to love it, too. he notices that, without even noticing, your hand will reach up to fiddle with the metal when you’re cuddled against his chest, rolling the links between your fingers as you continue your conversation like nothing is happening. there’s a level of familiarity to it, of intimacy and understanding, that causes his heart to race that little bit faster.
ᝰ this man loves physical affection. whether it’s pressing a kiss to your temple in greeting or wrapping his arms around you whilst you’re chopping, willy feels a deep-rooted need to be touching you whenever he can. even if it’s just a brush of hands or your knee against his at dinner, willy likes the physical reminder that you’re here, here with him.
ᝰ not only a boyfriend, willy also operates as your own personal teddy bear. somehow, he’s always impossibly toasty, and his large frame is practically made for you to curl up against and seek refuge in. willy is more than happy to indulge you in this, wordlessly opening his arms and nodding at you to snuggle up to him, to find comfort in the shape of his body and the soft, rhythmic beating of his heart.
ᝰ willy loves you with an ardent enthusiasm, all burning embers that never seem to dwindle, no matter how long they smoulder. because much like the fire that licks at his heart whenever he thinks of you, you burn bright and beautiful and he is simply mesmerised by your warmth and light.
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moonlightazriel · 5 months ago
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Chapter 19: It feels cold and empty /// Azriel X F!Reader
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Summary: They try to adjust to a life where they don't have each other anymore.
Word Count: 3K
Warnings: Angst, mentions of fighting and suicide.
Notes: if you're triggered by suicide scenes, please don't read this. If you're not, please enjoy..
Main Masterlist
Worlds Apart Masterlist
She nervously picked at the cuticles of her nails, every pair of eyes watching her curiously, not a word being said since she had been sitting in the council room of Aelin Galathynius’s castle for the last thirty minutes. The double doors burst open and she recoiled into herself further at the sight of Manon’s golden eyes, looking around the room until they landed on her. 
“Where the hell have you been?” Her queen’s voice reverberated through the chambers and she took a deep breath. 
“It’s a very long story.” Manon nodded, sitting on the empty chair by Aelin’s side. 
“We have plenty of time, I actually cleared my schedule for the day.” The younger queen winked at her, she could sense the curiosity pouring out of Aelin since her sentries had brought her there, Meraxes somewhere she didn’t know.
“I don’t even know where I should start..” She took a moment to recompose her breath and looked at the face of her own queen once more. “Let’s start with the golden eyes of a King.” 
Manon, Aelin and Rowan didn’t say a thing as she recalled everything that had happened on the time she was away, in too many details she described Velaris and the kindness of the faes she met there, she talked about the powerful wings and the bravery of a new type of people she met. The curses of this land in the hands of the middle born Valg King. She told them how Mantyx went there and how they, just like Elena once did, failed to kill him and sealed him and let the problem to those who would come after them. 
She told them how using the powers of Celeste and the cauldron, they broke the seal and killed him in his own home, preventing him from conquering Prythian like he intended to do since the beginning. She talked about the key and the gate, reassuring them that it would never be a problem as they didn’t have any interest in leaving their own world behind. 
She talked about the good friends she made, and how she would miss them dearly but she knew she had to come home. She didn’t say anything about Azriel to them, a selfish part of her didn’t want to share him with anyone, he was hers and hers only to keep tucked away in her heart forever, where he would never be hurt and unloved again. 
“We’re glad to have you back.” Rowan said after she was done, nodding his head toward the female, his trained eye on the tattoo on her arm, as she nervously rolled her sleeves up, revealing the drawing to them. 
“This world you described, it somehow feels familiar, when i close my eyes i can get a glimpse of beautiful stars and snow covered mountains.” Aelin stated, like a distant dream that bubbled in her mind, she had seen it when she was falling through the worlds, the male had helped her stop so she wouldn’t miss her home. 
“I can’t even imagine all of that, but as Rowan said, we’re happy to have you back, we should go back home.” Manon said, rising from her seat and thanking Aelin for having them there. Y/N did the same, following her queen outside. 
She almost laughed at the thought of calling this her home, as once someone said to her that home is where your heart is, and her was worlds apart from her, with the Shadowsinger she gave it to, the male she would love until the last day she walked this earth, maybe not even death would be enough to erase her love for him.
As she crossed the busy streets, she couldn’t avert her gaze from the statue built for them, their faces sculpted in stone, their swords raised together towards the stars, written in a beautiful handwritten at the base of the statue, she could read. 
“From now until the darkness claims us. In honour of the brave warriors that gave their life for this land.” Asterin in the middle of them, leading them to the battle. She hated it, she despised the reminder of the family she lost, the people she never stood a chance of saving, she hated the reminder that no matter what she did differently that day, she could not change their sacrifice. She hated it because it reminded her of how, late at night between sobs, she wished the darkness would claim her too just so all the pain would be gone. 
She found Meraxes sat by Abraxo’s side, his eyes distant, looking at where once a gap stood, like he too missed that land. But as Y/N climbed his leg, adjusting herself into the seat, she mumbled to him to forget that. They would never come back, and then, he carried them back to the Witch Kingdom. 
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
“It’s been four months.” Feyre said, rubbing Nyx’s hair out of his eyes. 
“I guess locking him up at the House of Wind won’t work this time.” Nesta remarked, making Feyre roll her eyes at her. The inner circle sat at the dining table in the River House,worried about Azriel’s declining state.
Ever since she left, he had been sadder, angrier, snapping at anyone who dared to show a little bit of concern towards him. They could never imagine what it felt like, knowing your mate, getting to love her and having her falling in love with you too, just for her to be gone, to never come back. 
“What if he tries something?” Elain asked, Lucien held her hand in a reassuring grip.
“We won’t allow it.” He said, Lucien was the one trying the hardest to look out for Azriel, because his best friend would be pissed with him if he didn’t try, she would want her mate to be as fine as he possibly could, and Lucien would ensure that for her.
“We could kidnap her back.” Cassian suggested and the whole table turned to him, looking at him like he had three heads.
“Oh Mother, we’re not kidnapping someone, what are we? Hybern?” Rhysand said, eyeing his brother with a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Azriel needs time, how much time he deems fit to get better, all we can do is pray to the Mother that he gets well soon, and show him that we’re here for him.”
“Talking about it..” Elain said getting up, fixing her skirts and nodding towards Lucien. “I’ll check on him.” She grabbed her mate’s hand, receiving an approving nod from Rhys, they winnowed to the House of Wind.
His room was dark and quiet, Azriel lay with his face pressed to his pillows, a dry trail of tears down his cheeks, his hair was messy, his shadows gathered around him quietly, like they too didn’t have the motivation to move. 
“Az.” Elain called, crouching in front of his eyes, those hazel orbs that had once radiated life once, were dull and glassy, he didn’t even greet her. “I brought something for you to eat, I’ll open the curtains and Lucien will help you shower, okay?” She said in a cheerful voice, but the male kept quiet. 
Elain did as she told, opening the curtains to let some sunshine enter his chambers, he hissed and she took it as a good sign that he could still feel something at least. She removed the covers from him, the blankets disappearing as the house helped her to get his room clean. 
“Okay, time to shower.” Lucien said, him and Elain supporting his body, dragging the defeated male towards the bathroom. Elain thanked Lucien for his help as she left the two alone. Lucien didn’t even bother anymore, he had done the same for Tamlin a while ago, so he stripped Azriel naked, letting the male soak in the warmth of the bath the house prepared. 
Lucien rubbed shampoo in his scalp, watching as slowly his shoulders started to shake and broken sobs parted his lips. He didn’t know what to say but he would wait if, for once, Azriel felt like talking today. Lucien almost gasped in surprise when the male, in fact, spoke.
“I feel pathetic.” He breathed and Lucien raised an eyebrow. “Four months depending on others because i can’t get a fucking grip.” He sounded angry, hurt. 
“There’s no shame in needing help.” Lucien gently replied, washing the bubbles from his hair. “When I lost Jesminda, I thought I would never recover from it.. The days blurred into months, the months into years of being stuck into a horrific void..”
“How did you get out?” He choked in his own tears. 
“I didn’t, not fully, and I don't think I ever will. My heart belonged to her, and a part always will, despite me loving Elain with all I have.” Lucien took another deep breath. “When I saw you and Elain together, I found myself back inside that void, sinking into it and letting it consume me.”
“I never apologised for what I did, you’re a good male, you didn’t deserve all the pain we both put you through.” Azriel turned his head to face Lucien, the male just shook his head. 
“You took care of her when I couldn't, you gave her a choice, you helped pull her out of that void. I’m not saying it didn’t hurt seeing you two, cuz it felt like my soul was being ripped away from me, I’m saying that I’m willing to look past all of this because she’s worth it, love is always worth it, and if it meant she would be happy, I would go through all of this again, even if she never chose me, just to ensure she would be happy.” 
“How would you live, knowing that you can’t have your mate?” Azriel dared to ask and Lucien seemed to think for a while. 
“I would just keep going, like I always did. And you should too, I never took you for the kind of male that would give up on life like this.” Lucien nudged him with his hand and Azriel allowed a barely there smile to appear in his face. 
“I should talk to you more often.” He snorted. “Thank you for looking out for me.” Azriel said with all the honesty he had in his heart. 
“It’s for her.” Lucien confessed and Azriel nodded. 
“Yeah, cuz she’s worth it.” He repeated and Lucien nodded. “I think I can assume from here.” Lucien nodded, getting up and leaving the bathroom to give him some time. 
“I would never allow you to sacrifice your happiness for me.” Elain said as she spotted him, her eyes filled with tears. Lucien pulled her close.
“We don’t have to think about it anymore, we’re together and that’s all that matters.” He gently kissed her temple and the female nodded, the two sitting in the window, waiting for Azriel to get out of the bathroom. 
When he did, she could swear he was a new male, freshly shaved and looking less tired, his cheeks were still hollow and he had bigger dark circles than ever, but she looked better, the talk with Lucien had really helped.
“Come eat something.” Elain gestured towards the plate in his study desk and he nodded, sitting down and eating like he hadn't done in months. 
“Thank you two, for everything.” He said, his voice muffled by the food.
“Just doing what you did for me all those months ago.” Elain winked and grabbed Lucien’s hand. “We’re going back to the River House, you don’t have to, but if you want, meet us there.” The male nodded, watching as his friends disappeared, he would go back to his life, he would learn how to live without her again. 
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Fenrys growled, holding an ice filled cloth to her swollen face. 
“He was fucking annoying.” She mumbled, wiping the blood on her sleeve. 
“And you had to start a fight with him?” He offered her a cloth, but she declined. 
“Asking gently didn’t work the first time, he had to learn.” She simply replied, her head throbbing, she was tired of that conversation. 
“I know you left some important people behind, but you can’t keep like this, you’re not even alive anymore.” He shouted, ever since she came back, she had stopped eating, every night she would go out, and find someone dumb enough to start a fight with her, or she would lock herself in her room, screaming as Gods knows what plagued her dreams. She never failed her duty though. Every morning she would appear impeccable, ready to do whatever she was ordered to.  
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She got up, face to face with him. Fenrys scoffed.
“Do you think she would be proud? Asterin would be ashamed of you.” He said, the anger getting the best of him, seeing his friend wasting her life like this. But at the sight of her defeated expression and tear filled eyes, he regretted it. “I didn’t mea…”
“FUCK YOU, FENRYS!” She yelled in his face, turning away from him and marching. She seemed to remember something, because she turned around, the fat tear streaming down her bruised face. “It wasn’t just some important friends that i left behind, i left my mate behind, maybe this means something to you.” 
Fenrys froze, mates were really precious in fae culture, for her to be here without him, having the strength to leave him behind, she was in so much pain, and he just made everything worse by throwing her biggest fear on her face, the fear of disappointing Asterin.
Y/N walked back to the castle, feeling her body numb, the pain in her chest too overwhelming to even feel the cold winds making her shiver. She marched towards her room, she opened the window, feeling the breeze messing her hair that had overgrown. 
She just wanted it all to be gone, all the pain, all the sadness, everything. She closed her eyes shut, climbing the railing of the balcony. Maybe he wouldn’t feel anything, so far away from her. The winds were stronger, like they tried to push her back to the safety of her room. She took a deep breath. 
“From now until the darkness claims us.” She breathed, feeling the air leave her lungs. That was when she allowed her body to lean forward, the sweet embrace that awaited for her and would bring her the relief she desperately wanted was all she had in mind. 
She didn't register the loud horrific roar that ripped the skies, awakening the whole castle. She just felt her body being violently pushed backwards, the air getting knocked out of her lungs as her back hit the stone wall with full force. She opened her eyes, feeling her head spin, the whole room with it as dizziness set over her. 
Someone grabbed at her, checking up on her head that bled due to the impact. She heard voices, but the consciousness slipped away from her grasp rather quickly. Until she let it claim her, pulling her into a soft embrace.
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 
“What’s wrong, Elain?” Lucien asked as he saw the white orbs of his mate. The female shivered. 
“She tried to kill herself.” She mumbled and the whole table went still, turning towards her. Azriel felt his heart squeeze in his chest. “And she will try again.” Elain said, her voice laced with sorrow. Two more months had passed since she departed, Azriel was better, back to training and to his duties, but this had dragged him back to that void. 
“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Rhys said, he truly was, but they couldn’t do anything.
“We need to go get her.” Nesta replied, already ready to jump through the gates to get her friend back.
“We can’t, remember that she chose to go.” He stared at the angry frown on Nesta’s face, he could feel it pouring out of her but she didn’t say anything to him, he should’ve known better than this. 
Cassian watched as everyone finished dinner, going back to their rooms and houses. He watched as Nesta prepared herself for bed, he almost laughed at her antics, she thought she was sneaky, but he knew her better than herself, so as she pretended to be asleep. He got their bags ready. 
Later that night, he heard her, slowly lifting from bed, shuffling through their things, quietly mumbling a curse, he kept pretending he was sleeping. He was quick to change into his leathers, sheathing his swords and walking to the living room, sitting in the dark, waiting for his mate. 
Nesta gasped when the lights flickered on and she spotted her mate, sitting with two bags at his feet and a big grin spreading across his face. From behind him, surprise filled her at the sight of Elain in pants, her hair braided behind her back, a bag strapped to her shoulders, flanked by both Lucien and Azriel. 
“We know you.” She had said and Nesta smiled at her family. 
“How are we getting the key?” Lucien asked, and his sister in law just closed her eyes, focusing on that call, pulling it towards her, the same way she had done with the troves. The key appeared in her hands and she grinned. 
“Like calls like.” She winked at them, strapping her bag on her shoulder before they winnowed away to Ramiel. As they opened the balcony door, to get easier to go, they spotted Rhysand. He was wearing his sleeping clothes, and was rubbing his temples.
“You’re all so predictable.” He sighed. “I’ll close my eyes for five seconds, and you all better be gone before I open them again. I don’t want to see you here, not without her.” He heard Nesta cheering, feeling the winds change around him as they all winnowed back, to get her home. 
⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆
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kamisatomay018 · 11 months ago
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When the tide comes in, I Shall Return..
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Neuvillette x fem!reader
Warnings: mentions of character death, angst with fluff, hurt/comfort, reincarnation
Reader is an immortal elemental being, events described may not match the official Genshin story so it’s fictional!
Honestly I cannot write only angst cuz I love happy endings, so this will be a happy story! Also this will be very lengthy so I hope you guys enjoy!
Thunder struck the grounds of Fontaine as the rain poured down unforgivingly, and dark clouds surrounded the city like a dense fog, making Fontaine seem gloomier than ever. Not a soul could be spotted outside, all seeking comfort and warmth in their homes. But where could he go? Where could he find comfort? There was only one man in Fontaine who dared to step foot in the merciless fury of the rain, and that was the Hydro Dragon himself. After all, this rain was his own fury, his own anguish and misery. Yet it could never come close to ever describing the way his heart twisted in agony, his soul hollow and his being feeling emptier than ever.
There he stood, in front of a beautiful big cottage in Elynas which now lay isolated and alone, yet he had made sure that not a single brick fell apart. Only he knew how many memories were tied to this beautiful place he once so dearly called home. Tears cascaded down his cheeks as he closed his eyes, once again allowing him to drown in the memories that never once faded away from his heart..
“Neuvi look!” He turned around to face you, looking as beautiful as ever, long white locks like his flowing down your back as you held beautiful pink and coral shells in your hands with an excited smile on your face. “Oh Mon Amour, these are simply divine. Your powers are truly magnificent.” You smiled at him bashfully, approaching him and sweetly pinned a coral shell onto his hair. The sun shone brightly as gentle waves crashed onto the beach, peace and serenity filling the air. “I’m so glad you like them Neuvi!” Oh how dearly he loved you, how dearly he loved your smile. In your beautiful cottage in Elynas, both of you had built a home, your love blossoming every passing year. Hundred years had already passed by since he knew you, and he had never been this happy. This was his perfect life, his happiness. You were his happiness, his light in the darkness.
How had everything gone so wrong? You both were so happy, and in the blink of an eye, everything he held dear to him had been snatched away from him. How was he supposed to move on like the entirety of Teyvat had? He had never been the same since you left him. Not once had he smiled in these five centuries, not one day had gone by where he didn’t remember you. He still had the shells you made for him so dearly, he would still dive deep into the waters of Fontaine to sustain the marine life you had created so dearly to honour your memory. But even as the Hydro Dragon, his powers were nowhere near as gentle and loving as yours. You were the epitome of peace and kindness which is why he had fallen so deep in love with you in the first place.
Opening the door of the cottage, he let out a shaky breath, trying not to break into sobs. All those years ago when he returned home, he would have your hand to hold, your sweet voice and embrace to find solace in. And now here he stood, drenched in his misery, all alone. As his eyes travelled across the beautiful cottage, he could see the memories of the beautiful past in front of his eyes, playing like a movie. How the two of you would dance and twirl together in the living room, how you would cook together, grow and pick beautiful flowers in your garden and cuddle with one another on the plush couch. Each moment he spent standing alone in the dark house, he was reminded of how all those memories are but the past that he can never relive, a time that he cannot reverse. He fell to the ground, crying in sorrow. Why did he have to pay the price for the folly of humans? What had you both ever done to be destined to a fate so cruel? The cataclysm was all because of humans and the celestial gods, then why had he payed the ultimate price?
How long has it been since he lost you? 500 years. 500 years since he last smiled, since the day he had ever been happy. Did he even remember what happiness or warmth felt like? No, because the day he lost you, he lost his reason to live and breathe too. It had been 500 years since the region of Elynas which was once a beautiful and flourishing land, had been turned into a land filled with carcasses, ruins and pain. Traces of the cataclysm were still visible here, as rifthounds and ruin machines from Dahri were still active, along with markings of the abyss. Anger filled in his mind as he remembered the fateful day he lost you, a memory so vivid that it haunted him every single day.
“Neuvi..the sky..it’s red..” He frowned at your words, approaching you who stood by the window. “What..how is that possible..” Fear was visible in your ocean blue eyes, as you hugged him close. “Neuvi I have a very bad feeling about this..” He wrapped his arms around you in a protective embrace, shushing you. “Hush Mon Amour..everything will be alright. I am with you, I promise.” Suddenly, to your utter horror, the ground tore open as abyssal monsters rose, making you shriek in terror. Neuvillette gasped, standing in front of you protectively as he instantly fought the monsters. But to your horror, they just kept emerging everywhere making you both run outside the cottage. “Neuvi, please be careful, protect the Merusea village, I need to go underwater and alert all the creatures.” He looked at you with worry, a sickening feeling of dread filling his heart. “No mon amour, it’s too dangerous, let me be with you.” “Neuvi there’s no time, they’re dangerous and the melusines are defenceless!” Both of you looked at one another as he rushed to embrace you, an unknown fear taking over his heart. “Please mon amour, be careful..” You nodded as you hugged him tight, however you both were forced to part as rifthounds advanced towards you. “I love you Neuvillette..” Those words that once filled his heart with joy now gave him a feeling of dread unlike any other. “I love you more than anything Y/N.”
If he knew that was going to be the last time he’d ever get to hold you close, the last time he’d hear you tell him that you love him, he would’ve held on for longer, he would’ve never left your side. It was all his fault, all his fault that you were gone. As he sat there all alone, sobbing in remorse, the haunting memories kept flooding his mind..
“My dears, there is a grave danger on land, I urge you all to hide, to blend in with the seas and protect yourselves. I will lend you my power so that no harm shall come to you all.” Your eyes glowed as you used a great deal of your powers to create a protective barrier on every single creature in the waters of Fontaine, making you significantly weaker. You swam back up on land, hoping to meet Neuvillette near the entrance of the Merusea village. But something told you that things were about to go wrong, as if these were your last moments. Your eyes widened seeing how many abyssal monsters had emerged, as you fought them to the best of your abilities, just trying to reach near Neuvillette. You knew you had spent a great deal of your power in protecting the oceans of Fontaine and you needed help in fighting until you regained your powers.
Neuvillette’s heart felt uneasy, his stomach churning in uncertainty as you did not come to him. Something had gone wrong, he could just feel it. Leaving every other thought aside, he rushed towards the shore, searching for you while fighting the wretched rifthounds. He called out your name, as the red sky started filling with dark clouds the longer he could not find you. And the very next moment, it was pouring rain. He ran towards you, instantly killing the monsters that had harmed you, dropping to his knees. There you lay, blood staining the sands as deep gashes were visible on your body. He held your weak frame in his arms, hugging you close while tears flowed down his eyes. “Mon Amour!! Please, please no..” Your trembling hand cupped his cheek, tears dropping down your eyes too while you smiled sadly, knowing that you could not be saved. “I..I’m sorry..” He shook his head, and the way he was crying desperately hurt you more than the deep wounds the rifthounds had left on you. “I..I promise..I’ll come back..w..when the tide comes in..I shall return to your s..side once more, my Hydro Dragon..”
Neuvillette started sobbing even more, hugging you close while your blood stained his clothes and skin. “No..no please Y/N, don’t leave me..please I’ll do something, I’ll save you..” He felt your thumb gently wipe away the tears, your cracked voice whispering perhaps the most painful words he had ever heard. “Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon, don’t cry..I Y/N, swear on my soul that I will return to your side..I do not know how long it will take..but..I..I promise, this is just a temporary goodbye..Will you wait for me Neuvi?” He nodded through his tears “I will wait for you forever..” You gave him a soft heartbroken smile, leaning your forehead on his as your breathing turned into small gasps “then..then you have my word..when this body disappears, I will turn into water droplets…which will live in your heart…and one day, I’ll come back..I’ll…come..back-..” That was when your body fell limp, your hand dropping down lifelessly, your once warm body turning cold. Neuvillette roared in pain, his powers unleashing and turning every single monster on the land to dust. Storms raged, lighting struck as the Hydro dragon wailed in agony at the loss of his mate.
Your once beautiful self turned into pure droplets of hydro, and Neuvillette watched as they travelled to his chest, being absorbed by his heart. He clutched his chest, crying endlessly in misery. You were gone. His love, his mate, his wife had died right in his arms, and he could not do anything.
Neuvillette clutched his head, crying and begging for those memories to leave him. It was the most cruel form of torture that he had been enduring for the last 500 years. The only reason he was alive was because he had made a promise to you, and the remnants of your existence lived in his heart. Somewhere he still had a tiny sliver of hope that you would come back, but these five centuries of misery had left him scarred and broken. Ever since the day you had died, the oceans of Fontaine had been still as ever, the tides had disappeared completely, and no new life had emerged in the oceans. You were the elemental being that emerged from the purest waters of the ocean, having the power to control the tides. You were the guardian of the marine life of Fontaine, and it was due to your protection that they had been completely unharmed during the disaster. He placed his hand on his chest, begging you just like he had done all these years. “Please Mon Amour, I’m begging you, come back to me, I cannot live like this..I cannot be without you any longer. I need you back, please..Your dragon is broken without you..”
2 Days later, Neuvillette was walking alone by the beach, watching the sunset while memories of the two of you flooded his mind. Oh he still remembered the way your eyes would light up when you noticed how the ocean would reflect the pink and orange tones of the sky. For some reason he felt different today, as if a feeling of anticipation was in the air. He could not understand why, but he sat down on the sand just the way you both used to, watching the sunset.
Suddenly, he let out a gasp, as for the first time in 500 years, waves started forming in the waters, turning into tides that started crashing against the shore. He stood up hurriedly breathing heavily hoping this wasn’t just a dream. Could it be? He then looked down to see shimmering water droplets emerge from his chest, floating towards the water. Countless sea creatures came up to the surface of the ocean, circling around the droplets of water, and in front of his eyes, slowly but surely, the shimmering droplets turned into a beautiful young woman, a woman he so dearly loved, a woman he had been waiting for.
Tears filled his eyes, but for the first time they were because of happiness rather than the anguish he was so used to. There you stood, in all your glory, just as beautiful as he had remembered, if not more. He felt like he was dreaming, as he walked closer to the water. You opened your eyes, looking at the love of your life. You gave him a big smile, holding your arms open for him. “Neuvi..” This was the only thing that he needed to hear as he ran towards you, engulfing you in a desperate and loving embrace, his sobs being muffled in your skin. Light rain fell upon you both, as you caressed his hair, relishing the feeling of his embrace. You knew he had been in so much pain, you had felt it due to your conscience living in his heart. “Oh my love..I’m sorry it took me so long to return to your side again. I know you have suffered so much, but I promise you, nothing will separate us ever again.”
He pulled apart to look at you, lilac eyes scanning every inch of you as if still afraid that you’ll leave him. “You’re really back..oh gosh I’ve missed you terribly Mon Amour..” you placed a sweet kiss on his forehead, hugging him close as every creature in the waters of Fontaine celebrated your reincarnation, waves crashing merrily against one another. “Forgive me for taking so long my heart..But you’ve been so brave, and now I promise I won’t go away again.” After what seemed like ages, your lover calmed down, his tears slowing down as his gloved hands cupped your cheeks softly, his siren eyes filling with love and tenderness. You gave him your sweetest smile, kissing his cheeks as you also took in the warmth of his embrace. Your separation had been too long, and both of you had missed one another terribly.
“Hmm..I never knew you were so sophisticated Neuvillette~” baffled at your sudden playful remark, he ends up laughing at your words, shaking his head. Ah, so this is what happiness felt like. Yes, he remembered now, he remembered how much joy you would always give him. “Oh mon amour..you have no idea how much has happened in these last 500 years..” “Well then I suppose we will have a lot to talk about hm?” He nodded, embracing you ever so protectively. “Yes, but all of that can wait because all that matters to me is you.”
“I’m right here Neuvi, always and forever. These long and painful years shall be our first and last separation. I am bound to you forever..” He looked at you, a beautiful smile adorning his features. “This time, I’ll protect you with all my strength..” As the two of you gazed into each other’s eyes, intense emotions filled your hearts- Love, relief, joy and everything in between. Words were no longer needed, your souls were now complete, hearts full and minds at ease. You both were once again together, after having passed the ultimate test of time and love. Not even the long drawn separation could ever erase the love you both had for each other.
Overwhelmed by these emotions, you both leaned in, closing the gap between your awaiting lips and let them collide with the same intensity as the waves colliding with the shore. The kiss was tender and filled with pure and unending love, with promises of forever being sealed permanently. Now, nothing would ever come in between you both. Now, Neuvillette’s once dark world had been lit up by you again, and he would make sure it would always stay this way.
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stcverogers · 1 year ago
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TOP GUN FIC RECS 7!
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top gun fics that i’ve been reading and obsessing with over recently
this is extremely important and i take this very seriously out of respect for the community. please do remember to read the rules for the respective blogs before interacting with or reading them.
F: fluff A: angst S: smut
𖥻 - series /multi part
masterlist
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JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERESIN
F: it's all about you by @bussyslayer333 the four times jake knew that his girl was the one he was going to marry, and the one time he made her his wife.
F: next thing you know by @disturbedbeautywrites you and jake met at the hard deck. in the blink of an eye, you're happily married with children you adore.
F: one man's loss is another man's gain by @sebastianstangirl01 jake would never thank rooster for anything other than leading his wife to him.
F: dad's shirt by @stargazing15 you and your daughter get jake a shirt for father's day, though she's more excited to wear it than him.
F + A: oh deer by @wkndwlff jake loved you, that he was sure of. out of fear of ruining your friendship, he kept that a secret. when you're in a car accident and jake almost losing you, he had to let you know.
F: i think there's been a glitch by @folkloreslovechild jake can't help who he is when he's around you.
F + A: 5 times hangman got older + 1 time he got wiser, too by @folkloreslovechild jake had always loved you, he just never realised it.
F: jake and his sweet wife by @fireinmoonshot
F + A: always a bridesmaid by @sugarcoated-lame when the dagger squad arrived at rooster's wedding, he had given them a stern warning to stay away from his baby sister. of course, jake is never one to listen to what bradley bradshaw has to say.
F: and i know when i need it i can count on you by @carnationworld-writings jake will do anything to help alleviate some of his pregnant wife's pain
F + A: you again by @ereardon you and jake were once in love, till he decided that you needed to break up. years have passed and you've both achieved your aspirations. will this then make room for both of you to rekindle that lost flame?
F: apple pie and you and i by @honeyhenry jake realises how fortunate he is when he's surrounded by the people he loves most, his family.
F: reunions by @gigisimsonmars you and jake haven't been together long and a pregnancy scare creates uncertainty about your relationship.
F + A: beach day by @harvestleaves jake's main concern will always be his girl, even if it meant skipping out on showing rooster up at dogfight football.
S + A: stay by @sere-sins jake never spent the night, but you needed him. so he'll stay, even if it's just for today.
A: pink light by @sushiwriterhere jake seresin, in all his blonde haired glory, had you wrapped around his finger. you loved him like the earth loved the moon. he didn't.
A: past the texas line by @allbark-no-bite jake will do anything for you, there is no line he wouldn't cross.
F: let me walk you home by @fireinmoonshot jake thought that tonight was finally the night that he would make a move on you. much to his dismay, you were preoccupied the whole night. he settles on walking you home.
F + A: the worst best man by @youvebeenlivingfictional jake seresin was already an insufferable man. pit him as best man while you've the maid of honour for a wedding, you were sure to be on the verge of pulling your hair out.
F + A: hung the galaxy by @creativeashproductions the last time you stepped foot in the city of angels, you had become a runaway bride. this time, you’re happily together with a fiancé you love dearly.
F + A: would that i by @uselsshuman jake, the ever loving partner, will always be there to clean up your accidents, no matter how big or small.
F + A: the olive theory by @eternalsams on every person’s 24th birthday, they will receive an envelope detailing who their soulmate is. you’re disheartened when the contents of the letter doesn’t describe jake.
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BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW
F + A: i don’t know, blame the air force? by @gretagerwigsmuse you are hopeful in getting your end of year bonus, only to find out a big chunk of it was going to the defence budget. it didn't help that you were dating a military man.
F + A: days like this by @sometimesanalice when you've had a terrible day, bradley is there to cheer you up
F: a little bit of courage by @callsignmeiga you and bradley have reached the point in your relationship where he's ready for you to meet his found family.
F: all of the girls you loved before by @wannabeschyulersister all of the girls rooster's loved before made him the one you've fallen for.
F + A: do you want me? by @ash5monster01 rooster assures you that he wants you as much as you want him.
F: sweet encounters + sweet tooth by @junkdrawerfics rooster's first time meeting you was with payback drunkenly stumbling into your bakery, screaming for your croissants.
F + A: bad idea by @sometimesanalice rooster sees the girl that had dumped him at the hard deck, flirting with someone who definitely did not deserve her.
F + A: just roommates by @risriswrites you and rooster were just roommates, till you weren't.
F + A: rescue me by @beccaanne814 bradley is left haunted by the events of the uranium mission and seeks comfort in the one person who can give it to him.
F + A: ruffling feathers by @helloheyhihowdyheya yours and rooster's feud didn't just exist in the air.
F + S: baby come close by @bradshawsweetheart you trust bradley with all your heart, deciding that you are ready to take your relationship to another level.
F + A: pick your battles 𖥻 by @intoanotherworld23 your relationship with bradley ended on a bad note, cruel words were spat and feelings were hurt. you're both called back to topgun for a suicide mission and tensions arise.
F: baby on my left, wife on my right by @popcornlover wanting to be carried from the car into the house, you and your daughter pretend to be asleep
F: stuck on you by @teowritesthings bradley gives you the sweetest morning surprise.
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BOB 'ROBERT' FLOYD
F + A: my girl by @rlphunter phoenix sets you up on a date, not knowing that you are secretly dating her backseater.
F: fix it by @lovingperfectionsblog bob was not good with women. he also should have known better than to seek advice from womaniser, jake seresin.
F: you gift bob flowers by @peachystenbrough
F: wicked game by @icegirl03 you and bob slow dance in the living room
F: baby, i'm yours by @superhornetbaby bob dials up the endearment when he's drunk
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MICKEY 'FANBOY' GARCIA
F: 512 by @bonitanightmxres you've always thought that the guy living in apartment 512 was cute. you finally gather the courage to ask him out.
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colourstreakgryffin · 1 year ago
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🥲🫀Heyy Bestie can I request a Toji + Daddy's Girl like we're his 6yr old daughter and were just so clingy with him and love him so dearly and we follow him around a LOT and calls us his little crybaby every damn time we cry him to not go to work, or if he leaves the bed to go do something. I got daddy issues I just wanna be HELD
Of course, loves! I’d be honoured to write this for you and I hope you like my work! Toji would have been a good papa if he was given a normal life!
Here you go, @ryomens-vixen!
Fushiguro Toji- Little Crybaby
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“Daddy! Daddy!” Toji jolted a bit in shock as his defensive instincts kicked in and he spun around to locate the source of the voice but his slight alert faded away. He figured he knew exactly who it was but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to let his guard down just incase
Dropping to his knees instantly, he unfolded his arms so you could run to him properly
“Dadddddyy! Don’t leave me!” You sobbed weakly with tight balling fists, clinging onto his skin-tight midnight training shirt to pull him closer to you in his warm big bear hug. You didn’t want your father go out to work at all, you wanted him to stay in the house and play with him
Toji smiled gently as he pats down your hair in soft strokes before he used the sweetest tone he could manage. “Oh, my little crybaby”
You pouted puffily at your father’s nickname, tugging on his top needy and desperate to be with your beloved father at all means. “Stay with me, Daddy! Please, Daddy!” You begged for Toji to obey your cute, high-pitched voiced commands but he simply shook his head in refusal
“Daddy can’t stay, precious. Daddy must make money for you, your Mommy, Miki and Gumi” Toji explained gently whilst he used the adorable nicknames you made for your older siblings, picking you up from your waist and rising to his feet
You have been like this, the second you could open your very own eyes. Ever since you were born, you were Toji’s precious daddy’s little girl and before you could even walk, you followed him around as being a total of 5 feet from him for too long would end up killing you. You love him so much that you can’t stand Toji going away from your bedroom after tucking you into bed for too long
“Daddy! Please! No!” You cry heavily, cuddling against Toji in hopes your clingy loveliness would make him reconsider the choice he had no choice on. He truly did want to stay with all three of his children and play with his younger daughter but he just can’t
His heart broke at your own heartbreak as he gently placed you into your mother’s arms during the moment he pressed a loving kiss onto her lips. Your sore, puffy teary eyes washed him over with a stream of overwhelming guilt, it hurt…
“I promise, my little crybaby. I will bring back a gift for you and come home as soon as I can”
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majorproblems77 · 1 year ago
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New update! New update!
AHHHHHHH
I enjoyed this a normal amount
We got double standing frames in the first 2 pages. Like
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Look at him standing there
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The :( on legends face is giving me life ngl
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Look at Twilights little pout!!!!
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Wind and Wars the dynamic duo! This is the whole look of the older brother showing the younger something. Hand on hip, the little smug face!
Like look at these two
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I love them, Hands on hip thing again, like the older brother he is!
Warriors being suspicious this entire chapter as well.
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From first glance you can see he's looking for something, maybe trying to size Twilight's hits up if he ever has to fight him?
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War's isn't looking at him at all. He's still looking around him, checking logs and the like.
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Filled with suspicion
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We know war's has experienced his men turning on him. Hyrule warriors did that for us. The angry look on his face tells me he's thinking of that. He's thinking that he may have to keep a closer eye on Twilight now.
Then there's Wind
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You cant tell me this isnt an attempt at him trying to look like Warriors. The raised eyebrow? The arms, I'm convinced that he had his arms crossed during this questioning. Mainly cause of this
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Like come on.
They are brothers your honour and I love them dearly!
Speaking of the sailor
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WIND BELOVED BABY! LOOK AT HIM
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He's so small I love him, love him so much!
Younger brother vibes here
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Man looks like he's about to investigate a crime.
We can't forget about this
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Might start calling these three the downfall Trio. I know wild isn't is the downfall timeline but to be honest they are all as chaotic as each other
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Wild looks like he's in so much trouble. The wrath of four instills fear into him and we all know it.
OHOHOH AND AND
HYRULEEEEEEEE
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the boy got a whole set of panels! I love him. And I AM LOVING THE FULL BODY SHOTS OF THEM AT THE MOMENT.
BELOVED LIFE SPELL CASTING RULIE.
Okay now that's off my chest
Thanks for coming to my TED talk about how I enjoyed this comic a normal amount
Check out the comic here!
All art belongs to Jojo, it's her comic after all!
I just really enjoy it :)
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bloodstained-porcelain-doll · 3 months ago
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The Kneeling Queen, ch 3 - Aemond Targaryen x OC
Read on AO3
Summary: Aemond Targaryen and Maelessa Velaryon were childhood lovers. They were each other’s only comfort in a world full of darkness. When they grew up, their love blossomed until they were the only thing the other cared about. Their lives get increasingly complicated due to the fact that they’re supposed to be on opposite sides of the war. Will their love survive or will it burn to ash as the war ensues?
Warnings: Canonical fighting, smut, bdsm, Dom Aemond, belt whipping, knife play, Targcest (uncle/niece), sexual degradation
Chapter 3 - Toasts and Tributes
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The king had called all of the royal family to dinner in the evening. Rhaenyra, Alicent, Daemon and Viserys sat on one side of the table. Aemond and Rhaena sat on the edges, and Maelessa, Luke, Helaena and Jace on the opposite side from the adults.
The king stood, using much of his energy to rise and hold a speech.
“It both gladdens my heart and fills me with sorrow to see these faces around the table. The faces most dear to me in all the world, yet grown so distant from each other in the years past.”
Maelessa laid her hand on the table, and Alicent and Rhaenyra both glared as Aemond just a moment later rested his hand on top of hers. The king took notice as well. He reached behind his head to unclasp the golden mask covering his face, taking it off and revealing his empty eye socket.
“My own face is no longer a handsome one, if indeed it ever was. But tonight, I wish you to see me as I am. Not just a king, but your father, your brother, your husband, and your grandsire. Who may not it seems walk much longer among you. Let us no longer hold ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stay strong if the house of the Dragon remains divided. Set aside your grievances. If not for the sake of the crown, then for the sake of this old man, who loves you all so dearly.”
The king was ill and tired, but he was no fool. He had noticed Aemond and Maelessa sneaking off throughout the years, he saw the way they always found ways to be close to each other at family functions. Now they held hands tightly as he spoke.
“Look at them,” the king continued. “Sweet, isn’t it? Young love. A third betrothal would be fitting indeed, a wedding between Aemond and Maelessa would unite to our family, put an end to this incessant squabbling.”
Maelessa felt herself grow giddy with hope and excitement at the king's suggestion.
“Marrying Maelessa would be my honour, grandsire,” Aemond said, squeezing his lover’s hand, before any of the mothers could interject. Viserys smiled and turned to his wife and his daughter.
“I know you’ve opposed it in the past, but I ask you to honour your king’s dying wish.”
Alicent looked stern, but Rhaenyra softened. She truly loved her father, and in his dying days she didn’t want to reject him.
“Aemond and Maelessa could both prove valuable in negotiations with other houses, husband,” Alicent said, trying to sound as diplomatic as possible, despite them all knowing it was her own ill feelings guiding her judgement. Aemond's eye twitched in annoyance.
“If the house of the Dragon is united as one, we do not need marriage pacts with outside houses,” he insisted. The king agreed with a nod.
“Velaryon and Targaryen, together we own the skies and the seas. What else do you need?” Maelessa added.
“Look at them, Alicent. It would be a crime to force them apart,” the king said.
Maelessa and Aemond looked at each other hopefully, hands entangled. The king fell back in his chair, sighing deeply.
“This is your wish, father?” Rhaenyra asked. Viserys was tired and just nodded his response. “In that case I approve,” she said reluctantly.
“Thank you, mother!” Maelessa burst out. Aemond’s smile widened and they both looked toward Alicent. She and Otto exchanged looks, and Otto nodded.
“To Aemond and Maelessa, may their marriage be joyous and fruitful,” she said, standing up and raising her glass. Maelessa could barely believe it, after fighting them for years, their mothers had finally agreed. She and Aemond rose as well, kissing each other in front of their families for the first time. Aegon and Luke mocked them with disgusted noises, but the others all stood to raise their cups. Viserys smiled, a strained but satisfied smile.
Rhaenyra remained standing when the others sat down. Inspired by her father’s efforts to unite their house, she raised her cup again.
“I wish to raise my cup to her Grace, the queen. I love my father, but I must admit that no one has stood more loyally by his side than his good wife. She has taken to him with unfailing devotion, love and honour. She has taken well care of my daughter, as well, housing her and educating her, readying her for the world these last few years. And for that she has my gratitude, and my apology.”
Maelessa smiled at her mother’s toast, and Alicent looked taken aback.
“Your graciousness moves me deeply, princess,” the green queen said. “We’re both mothers, and we love our children. We have more in common than we sometimes allow. I raise my cup to you, and to your house. You will make a fine queen.” 
At the last words, Otto glared at her, and not many seemed to notice that he did not drink to that toast. The others all drank to those words, then Aegon rose, and Maelessa was surprised that he would make a toast. But he didn’t. He approached Baela and filled his cup with wine. Then he spoke to her.
“I regret the disappointment you’re soon to suffer, but if you ever wish to know what it is like to be well satisfied, all you have to do is ask,” he mumbled to her. Jace heard it all and rose angrily. Aemond rose before he could start speaking. He gathered himself and patted Aegon on the shoulder.
“To prince Aegon and prince Aemond, we have not seen each other in years but I have fond memories of our shared youth. And as men I hope we may yet be friends and allies. To you and your families’ good health, dear uncles. And many congratulations to you, Aemond. You will find no better wife than my sweet sister.” They all drank again.
“To you as well,” Aegon said bitterly. Aemond only answered with a curt nod. Suddenly Helaena spoke, she wasn’t the most vocal of the group, so anytime she spoke Maelessa was surprised.
“Beware the beast beneath the boards… I would like to toast to Baela, Rhaena and Maelessa. They’ll be married soon. It isn’t so bad, mostly he just ignores you. Except sometimes when he’s drunk.”
Daemon laughed. Helaena was sweet and innocent, Maelessa liked her and her strange proclivities, the bugs she kept in her chamber and the odd things she said sometimes.
Jace invited Helaena up to dance, surely as a dig against Aegon, but no one acknowledged it. When they had danced for a while, Aemond rose and invited his bride to be up to dance as well. Maelessa went with him gladly, and she followed as he led the dance. Jace and Helaena moved intuitively and laughed and had fun, while Maelessa and Aemond held each other tight and moved gracefully across the floor. She thought she glimpsed an ounce of happiness in her mother’s eyes when she watched her daughter, but she couldn’t be sure. 
The adults were laughing too now, enjoying themselves, and for the first time in years, they felt like one family again. King Viserys watched them with fondness in his gaze, until exhaustion took over and he had to go back to his chamber, being carried away by the servants. Aemond and Maelessa sat back down as more food was being brought out.
The evening that had felt so nice now took a turn for the worse. The servants set a whole roast pig on the table, in proximity to Aemond. Luke, who was still proud of the prank from all those years ago, chuckled. He didn’t stop when Aemond glowered at him, and he rose from his seat angrily, ready to beat his nephew black and blue. But he composed himself, raising his cup instead.
“Final tribute. To my sweet niece, the fairest maid in the kingdom, I can’t wait to make you mine in front of gods and men.” Maelessa smiled and raised her cup, but unease spread through her, sensing that he wasn’t done, that his next toast wouldn’t be as precious. “And to my nephews. Jace, Luke and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise…” He took a moment to look around and think about the consequences his next words might bring. “…strong.”
“Aemond,” his mother warned, but he ignored her.
“Come! Let us drain our cups to these three… Strong… boys.” He conveniently left his bride to be out of the toast. He never mocked her for being a bastard like he did her brothers.
“I dare you to say that again!” Jace challenged.
“Why? ‘Twas only a compliment. Do you not think yourself strong?” he asked, approaching his oldest nephew. It all happened so quickly. Jace punched Aemond in the face, Luke rose to defend him but Aegon slammed his head down against the table. Aemond shoved Jace down on the floor, and people started screaming.
“Stop!” Maelessa urged, and Aemond turned around with a grin on his face. His mother scolded him, but he didn’t heed her advice.
“I was merely expressing how proud I am of my family, mother. Hmm. Though it seems my nephews aren’t quite as proud of theirs!” he exclaimed, walking towards Jace again who was now restrained by a guard. Before the fighting could escalate, Daemon stepped in. With one finger he managed to get Jace to stand down. Rhaenyra ordered them all back to their chambers, and Daemon stared down Aemond until he budged, joining the others in heading back to their quarters. 
“Your future husband is a cunt,” Jace muttered to his sister. 
“Our little brother is a bully,” she bit back, stopping in the corridors. The others walked to their chambers and she waited for Aemond to catch up with her. When he did, his hand shot out and grabbed her by the back of her neck, shoving her up against the wall. He placed a rough kiss on her lips before they kept walking towards Aemond’s chamber. Footsteps echoed behind them as they approached the door.
“Maelessa. Your chamber is further down the hall, where your brothers wait for you,” Alicent stated, stopping to glare at the young lovers.
“I know. I’m heading there. Just walking my betrothed to his chamber first,” she said, putting on an innocent face. Alicent looked unimpressed.
“I understand that the two of you are eager to get on with your marital duties, but the fact remains that you are not yet married.” 
Aemond smiled at his mother.
“I thank you for your words of caution, mother. Goodnight,” he said, entering his chamber alone. Maelessa curtsied at Alicent and began to walk, looking back to see Alicent turning on her heel as well. When the queen was out of view, the door to Aemond’s chamber opened again and his hand darted out, grabbing Maelessa by her arm and yanking her inside. She giggled as Aemond strung her along to his bed and threw her down on it. It seemed he was in the mood to be rough with her tonight. 
He discarded his eyepatch and unsheathed his dagger, using it to slice her gown open, ripping the fabric and discarding it on the floor. She moaned as he kissed, licked and bit up her neck, still careful not to leave any marks where others would see. He tugged at her hair and she followed him off the bed.
“On your knees, bastard,” he ordered. Her eyes widened but she obeyed without question. It was the first time he had ever used that word for her. “Lady Strong… not for much longer though,” he mused, undoing his trousers and letting them slide down to his knees. She opened her mouth, allowing him to push his hard cock into it. She was shocked at the language he used, but even more shocked at how much it turned her on.
They had both always known the truth of it, but Aemond never reminded her of her parentage the way he did her brothers. He slapped her cheek and she started bobbing her head up and down, taking him deep like he had trained her to do. She was rewarded with a pleased groan and his long fingers in her hair, alternating between massaging and tugging. 
He enjoyed fucking her mouth, and now that’s what he did, taking a firm grasp of her hair and thrusting himself down her throat again and again. She steadied herself with her hands on his knees, gagging, choking and slobbering as he took what he wanted from her. When she was a panting, drooling mess, he stopped. 
He retrieved the dagger again, the one he had used to ruin her dress. He flipped it in his hand and brought the sharp edge down to her mouth. Hesitantly she leaned forward and licked it, wetting the edge. He pressed the blade against her lips and watched her reaction intently. When all she did was part her lips and look up at him with big glassy eyes, he let the blade slip and she gasped. A taste of iron spread over her tongue when she darted it out to lick her lips, and a drop of blood trickled from the lower. Aemond pulled her up by her hair and kissed her, tasting the blood from the cut he had made. Nothing turned him on more than when Maelessa allowed him to hurt her, to mark her. He bit her bleeding lip, drawing out a whimper from her, before he pulled back.
“Bend over the bed, bastard,” he commanded, voice thick with desire. Again she obeyed, presenting her ass to him as well as her soaking wet cunt. “How many toasts were held at dinner today?” he asked, running his warm hand down her back and over her ass. She thought back and counted.
“Seven, Āeksio,” she answered. She had taken to calling him Master as of late, and each time she did, dark desire coursed through his body. He wanted to own every part of her, and she wanted to surrender every part to him.
“Hmm. Then that’s how many times I’ll whip you. I want you to count each hit out loud. Prepare yourself,” he said, pulling out his belt. She steadied herself and fisted the sheets, already knowing this would hurt. Aemond never went easy on her during her beatings, and she was always left with purple welts that hurt to sit on the next day. “Are you ready, Maelītsos?”
“Yes,” she whispered. Crack . She whimpered when the leather came down on her bottom the first time.
 “One.”
Crack. Harder this time, another whimper. “Two.” Crack. She shrieked this time as he hit the same spot as before. “Three,” she cried, tears springing to her eyes. Crack. The other cheek this time, giving her a chance to breathe. “Four…” Crack. Her thigh, she screamed out in pain again. Surely Aegon could hear them… “F-five…” Crack. “Six!” She bit her lip and tasted the blood again. CRACK. Her body convulsed and she shrieked in pain, this time Aemond had used all his force to whip her and she kicked her legs, trying to shake the burning pain off. “Seven, seven, seven, fuck!” she cried. His hands came down to admire his artwork, gently caressing her purple butt cheeks.
“What do you say, bastard?” he leaned in and whispered in her ear. She remembered herself even in her pain.
“Thank you for disciplining me, Āeksio.”
“Syz riña,” he praised, lining himself up with her wet cunt and thrusting his cock inside, finally rewarding her with pleasure. Now she cried out in ecstasy. The pain now heightened the pleasure and Aemond began to move, fucking her relentlessly against the bed, rocking it against the wall. Yes, his brother surely heard it all. “Such a greedy little bastard, swallowing down my cock both in your mouth and cunt. Are you that desperate for me?” he asked.
“Yes, I am! Gods, Aemond, my body yearns for you every second you’re not inside me. You make me whole, you’re the only thing that matters,” she rambled in between moans and whimpers. He reached forward, slipping his hand underneath her body and reaching for her neck. She closed her eyes and smiled. This part was her favourite. Aemond’s hand closed around her throat, restricting her breath. 
Her moans choked down and she went quiet, the only sounds filling the room being skin slapping skin and the bed rocking into the wall again and again. Her walls began to clench around him and that blissful heat spread through her abdomen. Aemond squeezed her throat harder, and her vision went blurry. She came undone for him right then, crying his name as he let go of her throat.
“Such a good little bastard, coming for your master. Do you want my cum inside that tight little cunt, Maelītsos? You want me to father you a bastard as well?” he taunted through her orgasm, and she couldn’t even begin to form an answer. With a few more thrusts, Aemond took his pleasure, pulling out of her and shooting hot ribbons of cum all over her ass, over the welts he had made. Panting, he used her torn gown to wipe up his mess, then he climbed into the bed and pulled her into his arms, letting her adjust until they were both comfortable.
“I needed that…” he whispered, placing soft kisses in her hair. 
“I know you did. I did too.”
“Avy jorrāelan, Maelessa.”
“Avy jorrāelan, Aemond.”
Valyrian translations: Āeksio - Master Syz riña - Good girl Avy jorrāelan - I love you
Tag list for The Kneeling Queen: @magnificentsapphiresoul
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