#i love him i need him he's mine i call dibs i will literally fight rn

[kindahoping4forever]

Such an Important Update from The 5SOS Show Tour NYC

[birdshifts]

I have been trying to figure out my BG3/Skyrim dr for a literal year - trying to balance both my need to be the Most Special Boy in The World and to not overly traumatize myself. Thought dump beneath the cut. Leaving it untagged since the images are from pinterest and not mine.

Cauldron isn't actually my name - but it is the nickname my adoptive siblings gave me and is derivative of my actual DR name. I'm avoiding sharing THAT name, since it is derivative of my actual name.

I am Melodia Thorm reborn - but in an example of nature vs. nurture, I am very different. I am not shifting for Ketheric (and I'll be scripting him differently, still working out what I want to do with that) and he will not be in love with me in this life, but will recognize me when he sees my face and it will give him pause and lead to no big bad fight.

I spent awhile in the afterlife, but Withers sensed the Dead Three, there is a prophecy, and they know Ketheric is going to get Up To Shit. A few other gods also start noticing, so they agree to look the other way/lightly assist when Withers pulls a lil Afterlife Heist and asks Melodia/me if I will be reborn - with everything else after being up to me. I agree. Again, long story short, it leads to several gods arguing over dibs - Selune (she let me leave her afterlife), Shar (she gave info on Ketheric), Kelemvor (he let me go), and Umberlee (she found out their plan, my birth mother gave birth at sea, and she held partial dibs for ransom in exchange for not drowning us).

My adoptive family were important people within Skyrim (my mother was the Dragonborn and former listener for the Dark Brotherhood, my father the Arch-Mage for the College of Winterhold, my uncle led the Companions, my aunt was a nightingale). But after everything they experienced, they wanted out, quit their jobs (to make long stories very short) and left with a bunch of other families for Faerun. About twenty families settled along the Chionthar and formed a village. But when my aunt was scouting the area, she found an eight year old elf child alone - me.

I am not scripting my background before then outside of the Umberlee thing. I'm around 8 or 9, I have no memories prior to her finding me, I will eventually find my birth family, and whatever happened before was not overly traumatizing. Other than that, it is up to my subconscious.

I will have a wonderful first 27 years of life in my village, traveling for the last eight years part of the time to help other villages. My family will train me from their various backgrounds and even pass on some gifts (such as literal dawnbreaker or nightingale armor or metaphorical agent of stealth abilities). I seem like a normal elf but for a few odd things, but after I shift it will eventually become clear I am an aasimar because of the gods-calling-dibs thing.

Faerun would classify me as a storm sorcerer because of my innate magic, but I'm also raised by people from Skyrim who don't really consider class so I have abilities and talents that might be more expected from rogues, wizards, fighters, or even clerics.

I will have no recollection of getting captured by the Nautiloid or getting tadpoled. While I was with my Tav and Durge when they did all the stuff on the Nautiloid, I don't remember anything until I wake up on the beach.

Currently, loosely thinking of waking up in my village before the Nautiloid or waking up after the Goblin camp and before the tiefling party.

[sunflowerdaisybee]

Hiiiiii! Can you do a fereal boys(?)x male reader irl. So, male reader is hesitant to do a face reveal because he has a big scar that runs along his face and ends at his collarbone from a car crash. He thinks fans will think he's ugly and send him hate, but he gets an overwhelming amount of compliments about his personality already, so he thought , fuck it. He does a face reveal on stream, and he gets a discord notification like 10 minutes after. And when he joins the all you hear is all the fereal boys fighting over reader. And reader is just sitting there quietly like "wtf is happening". (you can end it how you want, and I have this scar in real life, so this would mean a lot to me. I also just want to say that you are the best writer I have ever had the privilege of coming across.)

I hope I did your request justice! I really enjoy writing requests for people that pertain to things that aren’t typically seen in common fics, everyone deserves love! Also Quackity is pink text because George is blue :] <3

Summary: Your recent stream reveals more than just your face

Genre: Fluff?

Pairing: Feral Boys X Reader

Pronouns: He/him

[A/n]: Requests are open <3

"So why haven't you done a face reveal yet? I mean you've probably got the best chats among our whole friend group."

"I just, I don't think they're gonna like how I look."

"Dude, your fans are literally in love with you, I don't think they'll mind how you look."

"Yeah you get like hundreds of compliments every stream, I doubt that any of them would hate your face." You subconsciously rubbed at your scar, taking the boy's words into consideration. Should you do a face reveal? Would your fans really love you regardless of your scar?

"Ya know what, fuck it. I'm doing it." There were cheers from the boys as you started setting up for a stream. You had muted the call so you couldn't hear the boys talking but they probably weren't talking about anything important anyways.

Starting up the stream you waited a few minutes for people to join in. Once you felt there were enough people you started talking.

"Hey guys, welcome to my face reveal vid." The chat was flooded with people talking about how excited they are. There were also comments of people hyping you up. Without any further delay, you turned on your camera and allowed the viewers to see your face.

Immediately you were flooded with compliments and people absolutely adoring you. Your fans didn't mind your scar, they thought that it was cool. There were a couple questions that you didn't mind answering, but for the most part, it was just your chat simping for you. They hyped up everything from your looks to your voice to your personality.

Eventually though, you decided to end the stream and return to the call that your friends were in. Saying goodbye to your chat you ended the stream and unmuted the call.

At first, you thought they were speaking gibberish as they were all talking over each other though eventually, you were able to figure out that they were talking about someone.

"No way I'll let you have him, he's mine. I called dibs."

"You can't call dibs on a person Quackity."

"To be fair, I liked him before I saw his face, so I think it's only fair that I get him."

"He was my friend first, so I should get him."

"No way, me and him have more in common so he should be mine." Who are they talking about? You listened in a bit more trying to decipher who this 'he' was.

"(Y/n) is my best friend, therefore he should be with me."

"(Y/n) has been to my house the most times, he should be with me."

"He should be with me because he and I call almost every day so I talk to him the most!"

"I've known him the longest out of everyone here, I've liked him since before you guys even knew him."

"No no no, you guys are all wrong. See I don't need to give a reason for (Y/n) to be with me because he's already gonna pick me anyways." There was an uproar in the call, all the boys yelling at each other playfully.

"Uh, guys?" You had never heard the five go so silent so quickly.

"Hi (Y/n), how long have you been here?"

"Like the past five minutes."

"Fuck."

[honey-dewey]

Our Small Slice of Paradise

Pairing: Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales/Reader

Word Count: 1,696

Warnings: None, this is pure fluff. 

Four years and one child later, Frankie is a whole new man. He’s a wonderful father, a diligent working man, a kind soul, and a beautiful husband. He’s had his fight and his struggle, and now he has earned his small slice of paradise. 

“Frankie!” You called through the house, directing your yells towards the garage door. “Frankie! It’s dinner time!” 

“Huh?” Frankie poked his head in from the garage, genuinely looking shocked. His daughter was across his chest, dead asleep. “What’s up?” 

You smiled. “It’s dinner. Tell the boys to come inside.” 

Frankie turned red. “How do you know they’re out here?” 

“Because I could hear Benny through the walls.” 

All four boys and Nessa came in, Nessa incredibly upset that she couldn’t sit in Frankie’s lap throughout dinner. 

“Baby,” you grabbed her hands as she flailed in her high chair. “Baby! You can sit on daddy’s lap after dinner. But he has to eat too.” 

Nessa pouted, crossing her arms. “Want daddy!” 

Santiago snorted. “Wonder where she gets that attitude from.” 

“Watch your mouth Pope, or you won’t be invited back.” 

At your threat, Santiago wisely shut his mouth. 

Eventually, Nessa calmed enough for you to serve dinner, earning you praise from everyone at the table. 

“Delicious as always,” Benny said happily, taking a rather large bite. “Damn Fish, you really got a good one.” 

Frankie leaned over and kissed your cheek, garnering childish groans from the table. “Yeah, I did.” 

Once dinner was over, Nessa loudly insisted upon sitting with Frankie, so you all headed out back, where William set up the fire pit and went to grab a couple beers. 

“So,” Santiago said, gesturing to you and Frankie with his beer bottle. “When is the family expanding again? We have bets, you know!” 

Frankie laughed, gazing at you with loving eyes. “I dunno babe, should we have another baby?” 

“With these boys?” You said, raising your eyebrows and looking at the three boys sitting across from you. “I’ve got my hands full enough. I swear, your friends are like teenagers.” 

“Oh no.” Santiago shook his head. “You know nothing about our lovely Fransisco when he was a teenager.” 

“Oh?” You leaned closer to Santiago. “Explain.” 

Immediately, Santiago launched into a long and hilarious story about how Frankie earned his beloved nickname. Best you could tell between the laughter and the yelling, Frankie had gone on a road trip with Santiago before they’d joined the military, and they’d stopped in Louisiana. They’d gone swimming in a river, and poor Frankie had been bit not once but twice by a catfish.

“Well excuse you, those fuckers hurt!” Frankie argued once Santiago had finished. 

You smiled. “Pope, where did the fish bite him?” 

Santiago grinned a rather telling grin. “The first one got his foot.” 

Benny, who was doubled over with laughter, sat up with wide eyes. “No,” he said dramatically. “You did not get bit in the dick by a catfish.” 

“Have you never heard this story?” William asked, also breathless from laughter. “Pope told it at least twice on our road trip.” 

“I was asleep for most of that.” 

You leaned back, smiling at the boys. It was hard to imagine them as anything other than best friends. 

“I’m gonna go put Nessa to bed,” Frankie said softly to you once his watch had hit 9. “Is the spare room set up?” 

“Yeah,” you said, setting down your bottle or ginger beer and holding out your arms. “You stay with the boys. I’ll take Nessa.” 

Frankie smiled, kissing you and passing Nessa into your arms. Benny and Santiago wolf whistled, but you ignored them in favor of carrying your daughter to bed. 

Once she was situated and had been properly kissed good-night, you trailed back out to the yard, grabbing s’mores materials on your way. 

“What in the fuck?” You said, standing in the doorway out to the backyard and just watching. Benny and William were wrestling while Frankie and Santiago were making bets, cheering the other two boys on. 

Immediately, Benny sat up, smiling childishly at you. “Hey! Welcome back!” 

You raised an eyebrow. “Get off the ground Benny. And William, I expected better from you!” 

Both boys chorused out apologies, and you nodded. “Thank you. Now, who wants s’mores?” 

Immediately, all four boys leapt upon you, eagerly taking the s’mores materials from you. Frankie dug out the s’mores sticks the pair of you had and you had to stop a joust between Santiago and Benny. 

“Damn!” Santiago said, waving a flaming marshmallow around. “Fucking burnt it.” 

“Oh! Dibs!” William said, reaching out. “I like mine burnt.” 

“You disgust me.” Frankie smooshed his own lightly toasted marshmallow between two graham crackers and a piece of chocolate. 

Benny shrugged. “I like mine more toasted than that,” he said, taking chocolate from you. “Pope doesn’t even fucking toast his!” 

“Oh it is on!” 

You sighed, not even bothering to do anything as the boys began to wrestle. Again. Frankie got pulled into the mess when Santiago shoved a warm marshmallow into his back. William, who genuinely tried to stay out of it, was literally pulled into it when Frankie grabbed him and used him as a human shield. 

Leaning back into your chair, you munched on your s’more, watching the boys fight. It was good to see them happy, especially with how much they’d been through. They deserved to be at ease, not worried about some huge looming threat. 

“You’re out of ammo,” you eventually pointed out once the fighting had reached fifteen minutes, nudging the empty marshmallow bag. “And you’re messes.” 

Santiago untangled himself, sitting up and grunting as he rolled Frankie off his legs. “I’m sticky.” 

“You’re all sticky.” You stood, heading towards the hose. “C’mon, let’s get you all cleaned off.” 

It took some finagling, but with the right pressure setting and a good amount of scrubbing with the rough side of a kitchen sponge and some heavy duty dish soap, all four boys were mostly clean. You carried the pile of ruined clothes to the laundry room, hoping you could wash them tomorrow. In the mean time, something else had to be done. 

“Who’s first?” You asked, heading back outside with a small bucket of hair care supplies.

Everyone pointed to Benny except for Benny. He pointed to William, groaning when he realized he had to go first. “Why me?” 

“You’re youngest,” Santiago said, putting another log in the fire pit. 

Benny grumbled, but sat in the chair you stood behind, waiting for the pull of the comb as you attempted to remove the smeared in bits of marshmallow and chocolate. 

You were much gentler than he expected, using some old tricks and a warm washcloth to get the smaller chunks. The bigger ones needed more convincing, and you did have to cut a particularly stubborn chunk out, but it was a mostly smooth operation. 

After Benny, it was William, who had less in his hair that needed to be slowly massaged out. 

The brothers nodded to you once William was done, trailing into the house and to the guest room. 

Santiago needed more time than Benny, softly chatting to Frankie as you worked on his hair, eventually seeming him clean once his shoulders were damp from the warm washcloth and small marshmallow coated snippets of his hair littered the ground. 

“Well,” he said, standing and stretching. “I’ll leave you two crazy kids out here alone. Do not fuck each other, please. The walls are thin and I do not need to hear my best friend and his wife going at it in the backyard.” 

You gave him a good night, and Frankie gave him a middle finger as Santiago headed inside to pass out on the couch, as he usually did when he spent the night. 

“Come here mister,” you said, gesturing Frankie closer. “You’re a hot fucking mess.” 

Frankie smiled as he sat down, relaxing under your careful hands. “Mhm. You love me anyway.” 

“Not like this,” you said, tugging at one of the marshmallow chunks caked into his hair. “I dunno how much I can save Frankie.” 

“That’s fine,” Frankie promised. “I’m overdue anyway.” 

You smiled, spinning the kitchen scissors on your index finger. “Yeah, you kinda are.” 

By the time Frankie was free of the marshmallow and the chocolate, it was nearing 11, and Frankie was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. 

“Done,” you said softly, ruffling through his hair and dusting off his shoulders. “C’mon, let’s get to bed.” 

Frankie followed after you sleepily, watching through half lidded eyes as you put the kitchen scissors back in their drawer, tossed the dirty washcloth in the laundry, and pushed open your bedroom door. 

“I love you,” Frankie said abruptly, shocking you out of your rhythmic actions. You’d been in the process of getting dressed for bed, your day shirt on the floor and your sleep pants halfway pulled up. 

“What?” 

“I love you,” Frankie repeated, and there was so much sincerity in his voice that you almost cried. 

“Frankie.” You walked over to him, still shirtless. “Babe, you’re exhausted.” 

Frankie nodded, letting you take his shirt off. “Yeah, but I still love you,” he murmured, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist and holding you close to him. 

You smiled, trailing your arms over his neck, threading your hands through his newly trimmed hair as he bowed his head to your shoulder. “I love you too Francisco.”

The pair of you stayed like that, holding each other in the moonlight, half naked, until Frankie untangled himself from your arms and tugged you gently to the bed. You fell beside him, rolled into your side so you were facing him. 

“Hello handsome,” you said with a grin, kissing Frankie’s nose. “Wanna get married?” 

Frankie smiled, poking your cheeks one at a time and causing you to giggle. “I dunno, I got this wife at home, and I think she’s a real keeper.” 

You curled closer to Frankie’s chest, reveling in the warmth he provided. “Well damn. Why don’t you kiss her for me?” Your voice grew softer with each word as the night’s antics caught up to you. 

Frankie kissed the top of your head, feeling your breaths even out as you fell asleep. “I love you,” he whispered one more time, feeling his own eyes close as he too slipped away into the peace of sleep beside you.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Ateez: Their Crush Confesses While Drunk

Kim Hongjoong:

"I think you've had enough." Hongjoong said as he snatched the shot glass away from you.

Whining, you tried to take it back. "I think the fuck not!"

Hongjoong only snorted. "Trust me, the last thing you're doing at the moment is thinking."

Huffing, you rested your head on your hands, feeling dizzy and ready to puke at any moment.

"I am thinking for your information." You said with slurred words.

"Really? Do enlighten me, what could you possibly be thinking about in your inebriated state?" He rolled his eyes, knowing you would probably just spurt out some nonsense.

Lifting your face slightly, a goofy smile was spread on your lips.

"I'm thinking of how cute Hongjoong is..... how I just wanna squish his cheeks and kiss those lips of his."

Hongjoong nearly choked on his water at your words.

"Wait, what?"

Sighing, you confessed. "I can't stop thinking about him, I just like him so much......."

Turning to him, you held up a finger to your lips. "But he can't know. It's my little secret."

Hongjoong could clearly see that you were so drunk that you didn't realize that it was him who was in front of you right now. He only blushed slightly.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." He winked at you, already planning out how he was going to tell you about this in the morning.

Park Seonghwa:

Seonghwa was currently in the process of holding your hair up as you spilled your guts out in the toilet.

"I told you not to go out with that friend of yours, cause everytime you do, you end up like this." Seonghwa cringed.

"It wasn't even that bad!" You protested.

"Oh no?! You literally tried to eat a leaf plant thinking it was a salad!" He exclaimed.

Groaning, you lifted your head. "Why are you always nagging and yelling at me?! You're not my mom!"

"Cause I'm your friend and I'd rather you not end up like a hot mess." Seonghwa said.

At his words, you teared up and started crying, it actually made Seonghwa frightened.

"I know you're only looking out for me, cause you're my friend.....that's all you'll ever be. Just my friend!"

You ended up falling on the floor, bawling your eyes out. Seonghwa didn't know whether to hug you or tell you to snap out of it.

"Why can't you love me like I love you? Why do you only see me as a friend? What's wrong with me?"

Seonghwa's heart clenched at your words. He didn't realize you were hurting just as much as he was. Gently, he picked you up and carried you to his room.

"Nothing's wrong with you, you're absolutely perfect. But you're gonna have to wait until you're sober so I can say it to you." He said to himself as he began to tuck you into bed.

Jeong Yunho:

Yunho ran around the parking lot like it was a marathon. How you managed to get lost was beyond him, but all he could think about was finding you and taking you home. After 20 minutes, he found you underneath a tree, passed out.

Sighing, he lifted you up onto his back and started carrying you back to the car. He felt you moving and whining.

"Oh you're awake." Was the only thing he said.

"Are you mad at me?" He could practically hear you pouting.

"No. I was just worried about you and I'm relieved to find you."

Finally arriving where the car was parked, he felt you tighten your hold on him.

"Wait! Let me just stay like this for a bit." You begged him.

"Why?" Yunho asked.

"Cause I really really like you, and you only let me hold you like this when I'm wasted. Let me just stay like this before it's over."

Yunho got flustered by your words, but made no move to get you off him just yet. When he felt that you were asleep, he carefully placed you in the passenger seat and buckled you in.

"You know if you want me to hold you like that, all you have to do is ask."

Kang Yeosang:

Yeosang tried to avoid looking at you in your drunk state. You were currently grinding against somebody, occasionally even letting them kiss your neck, which made him clench his fist under the table. He refused to admit he was jealous though.

Walking up to him, you tried to bring him out of his seat. "Come on Yeosangie! Dance with me!"

He pulled his hand away rather harshly. "No thank you."

You pouted at him. "Come on! Have some fun."

"Y/N stop wasting your time with me and just go back to dry humping whoever you were with." His voice was angry.

Huffing, you stomped your foot. "At least they actually pay attention to me! What do I have to do to get you to notice me? Obviously making you jealous isn't working."

Yeosang only whipped his head towards you. "What?"

"Have you ever been remotely attracted to me? Cause I'm super attracted to you. I seriously like you. But why don't you find me attractive?"

Yeosang looked at you, wondering if it really was you or just the alcohol talking. He did find you attractive, extremely and he was insanely jealous. But he wasn't going to tell you that until he knew for sure you would repeat what you said in the morning.

Choi San:

You woke up with a pounding headache, already regretting the alcohol intake last night. Once your eyes focused, you saw San looking right at you, a huge smile on his face. You screamed and sat up immediately, covering yourself, not realizing both of you were fully clothed.

"Well good morning to you too love." He giggled as he cupped your cheeks.

You squirmed out of his touch, making him pout.

"Is that any way to greet your boyfriend? Come on baby, give me a kiss." He leaned in once again but you dodged him.

"What on earth is wrong with you Choi San?!" You exclaimed.

"What's wrong with me?! What's with you?! First you confess to me, telling me how much you want to date me, and even after I say yes, you treat me like I have coronavirus?"

You stood there, stunned at him.

"What?"

"Don't you remember what happened last night?" He asked.

When you shook your head, he sighed before telling you all the events of last night, from your awkward confession, to him accepting and how he let you sleep with him cause to him you have been official since last night.

Song Mingi:

Mingi was currently standing next to a wild dancing you, trying to make sure you didn't hurt yourself, hurt anyone, or worse, go home with somebody. That was definitely something he wasn't letting happen on his watch.

"Are you having fun Mingi?!" You hollered at the top of your lungs.

"Yeah..... so much." He responded as he adjusted his position, blocking the view of someone who was eyeing you too much.

You turned to him with a mischievous grin on your face.

"If I jump, would catch me?" You asked.

"What?!" He asked, wondering if he heard you right with the music blasting too loud.

Without warning, you sprinted to him before jumping into his arms. Mingi stumbled a bit, but regained his balance quickly. He looked over to make sure you weren't hurt.

"You're either really brave or really stupid when you're drunk." He shook his head at you.

"What would you classify this as then?"

Right then and there, you crashed your lips against his, giving him a rather desperate kiss, leaving him stunned.

"Y-yah! What was that for?!" He asked, blushing violently.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that. You don't know how long I've wanted you." You confessed, nuzzling into his neck.

Mingi was at a loss for words, he tried not to, but a happy smile formed on his face.

"Y-yah.... Don't say things like that when I don't know if you're serious or not. Don't make my heart flutter just like that."

Jung Wooyoung:

For once, Wooyoung didn't get wasted with you. In fact, he wanted to stay sober just to see if the alcohol in your system would reveal your true feelings for him, since he knew you had no filter when you were drunk. But so far, it seemed you avoided the question.

That was until a girl came up to Wooyoung, flirting with him and practically throwing herself at him. That's when you stepped in and confronted her.

"Hey! Hands off what's not yours you skank!" You warned her.

"Who or what are you?" She scoffed.

"I'm the one who's gonna rearrange your bitch face if you keep hitting on him! He's mine you hear?! I called dibs long ago!" You shouted.

Wooyoung chuckled and blushed at your confession.

"Finally, I knew it. I knew you had the hots for me." He said to himself, proud that he got the confirmation he wanted.

"Fight me bitch! Try me!"

Your voice snapped him back and he realized he needed to pull you away before you got into a cat fight over him, not that he'd mind seeing that.

Choi Jongho:

Jongho stood looking unimpressed as your drunken voice was heard through the dozens of voice mails you left him.

"Yah Choi Jongho! Why aren't you answering me?! I have something important to say!"

"You don't have practice so pick up your phone you oversized panda!"

Jongho chuckled at your cute attempt to offend him.

"Why are you ignoring me?! You're so mean! You asshole!"

He rolled his eyes at that. It was 3 a.m when you sent that voice mail, meaning he was asleep by then in the comfort of his bed, completely unaware that you were getting wasted.

The last voice mail was at 5:30 a.m.

"I'm home, I'm crying and I hope you're happy! Hope you're happy that your life is perfect while I'm here suffering cause I love you so much! I love you so much and you don't give 2 damns you fruit murderer! You treat my heart like those stupid apples you split!"

He could hear your sad, depressed sobs.

"I hate you!..... I love you but I hate you!! You and your stupid muscly arms! But oh god how they turn me-"

The last thing he heard was your puking noises before the message ended.

"Aish! Seriously Y/N! You couldn't think of a better way to confess to me?" Sighing, he picked up his jacket, making his way to your house to take care of your hungover ass and get an explanation.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[krizaland]

Enter the Zimvoid Chapter 25

First Chapter  Previous 

Be warned: There are more spoilers ahead!

THUMP! THUMP!

You could feel Zib’s heart beating alright but you couldn’t feel how it ‘yearned for you’.

“Y/N…You were the only one who ever listened to me. You were the only one who ever appreciated what I did! You always took me seriously…You….You made me feel…respected,” Zib whispered as he brought your hand you his cheek, “Don’t you see it now, Y/N? You’re all that I have left….”

You tried to respond but-

“THE MENTAL REPROGRAMMER HELMET HAS BEEN FULLY RECHARGED”

“Ah! Excellent timing!” Zib chirped as he dropped your hand, “Now then, let’s try this again. Bring me the helmet!”

You let out a gasp but remembered that your hand was free.

Wasting no time, you begun to wriggle and thrash about as best as you could.

“No use fighting it, Y/N! You’re gonna love me whether you like it or not!” Zib cackled as he slammed the helmet onto your head.

“Computer begin the-ACK!”

WHAP!

CLANG!

You smacked off the mental reprogrammer helmet, causing it to bean Zib square in the face.

You then frantically continued to try to wriggle out your other arm.

POP!

With your other arm, free, you were ready to pull your way out of the mechanical tentacle’s iron grip.

POP!

You burst free from the mechanical tentacle and tried to make a run for it.

However, it wasn’t long before Zib’s deranged mind begun to process what just happened.

“Well…Y/N…I gotta say, I’m impressed. I didn’t expect you to be able to actually free yourself so quickly.” Zib chuckled as he adjusted his cracked glasses.

“And that’s not all! I’m gonna find out where you took my boys and when I do, I’m gonna set them all free! Then we’ll stop you once and for all!” You announced dramatically as you ran in the other direction.

“Oh no you won’t!”

BEEP!

Zib slammed down onto another button on his throne.

FWEE!

The tentacle you slipped out of sprung back to life and made a lunge for you!

Luckily, you had such a large head start that you were already half way down the hall.

You kept running and running until the tentacle ran out of slack and could no longer reach you.

You stuck out your tongue and blew a raspberry at the tentacle before resuming your escape.

Zib let out a screech as the tentacle returned to him fruitless.

“GRAARGH! COMPUTER! SEND OUT ALL THE GUARDS TO TRACK DOWN THAT Y/N AND BRING THEM BACK TO ME THIS INSTANT!” Zib roared as he shook his fist at the ceiling.

“RIGHT AWAY DIB!

Zib muttered a few more obscenities under his breath as more drool dribbled down his chin.

“You will be mine, Y/N! I won’t let you get away from me ever again!” Zib seethed as he gritted his jagged teeth.

Meanwhile, the Zims and Dib were discussing a way to rescue you and no one could agree on anything!

“BRUTUS SMASH EVERYTHING!!” Brutus bellowed.

POW!

Brutus punched a large hole into the wall of the cell to emphasize his point.

“No! That’s impractical! First off, Number 1, or Zib or whatever you wanna call him, has an arsenal of his own personal tech and weapons! All the bulging muscles in the multiverse couldn’t take all of that at once! Second, we still need to save Y/N! If we’re too reckless, they could get hurt!” Specs chided as he put his hands on his hips.

“BRUTUS NEVER HURT PRETTY Y/N! BRUTUS LOVE PRETTY Y/N!” Brutus bellowed as he shot Specs a glare.

“Guys! Focus! We need an actually good plan here!” 2k snapped as he folded his arms.

“Yeah, it’s not like a plan’s gonna fall from the sky!” Palindrome added with a huff.

As if on cue,

“WEEE!!!!!”

CLANG!

WHUMP!

GIR literally fell from the ceiling and landed square on Your Zim’s head.

“ACK! MY SPINE!” Your Zim yelped as he fell to the ground.

“GIR! You’re ok!” Palindrome cheered as he helped GIR to his feet.

“Yep! I had lots of fun!!” GIR giggled.

“Urgh. Help me up, GIR.” Your Zim groaned from the floor.

“Okie dokie!” GIR sang as he pulled your Zim to his feet.

“Wait, fun?! You call being captured by an evil tyrant fun?!” Dib snapped as he shot GIR a glare.

“Uh huh! I was dancing and dancing! Then the Zib man got me, so I brought this!” GIR giggled as he held up a large memory drive, “Let’s eat it!”

“Hey! That looks like a computer memory drive!” Dib’s eyes lit up as he snatched the memory drive out of GIR’s hand.

“We can use the data in the memory drive to find all the schematics for Zib’s tech!” 2k cheered as he hopped onto Dib’s head.

“Wait!” Your Zim swiped the memory drive out of Dib’s hands, “We can use the data in the memory drive to find all the schematics for Zib’s tech!”

“That’s literally what I just said-”

“GIR! Pop the memory drive into your drive reader and display its data!” Your Zim commanded as he shoved the memory drive in GIR’s face.

“YES SIR!” GIR’s eyes turned red as he swallowed the memory drive.

WHIRR!

GIR’s eyes flashed bright blue as a projector popped out of his head.

PINK!

“I love this show!” GIR chirped as the projector turned on.

After a few moments of blue static, GIR begun to playback the data on the memory drive.

However, instead of tech schematics, the group was greeted with a recording instead.

Zib was wearing his Zim-suit and was resting on his throne when Zim 501 came barging in.

“Oh great and glorious Number 1! I have come bringing wondrous news!” 501 sang with a bow.

“It better not be a waste of my time, 501.” Zib snarled as he drummed his fingers against the throne’s arm.

“We have located a Y/N!” 501 cheered as he tried to maintain his bow.

“A Y/N?!”

The eyes of Zib’s suit glowed bright red as he shot up straighter.

“Yes! And they’re the most beautiful Y/N we’ve ever seen! They’re so beautiful they could tame the most rabid of cows!” 501 boasted as he shook with excitement.

“Well, what are you waiting for?! Bring the Y/N to me!” Number 1 ordered as he pointed to the door.

“Yes, sir!”

And with that, 501 trotted off to carry out Zib’s orders.

However, 501’s foot prints had left behind a strange substance on his way out.

Zib hummed as he went over to inspect the mysterious substance.

“This doesn’t look like sewage….” Zib muttered to himself, “Computer! take a sample of this substance and bring it to my lab!”

“RIGHT AWAY, DIB!”

And with that, Zib’s computer scooped up a sample of the strange substance and took it to Zib’s lab.

Upon entering his lab, Zib popped out of his suit and plopped in front of his computer’s main keyboard.

“Computer! Analyze the sample you collected!” Zib commanded as he pointed to the ceiling.

“ANALIZING….”

WHIRR!

DING!

“ANALYSIS COMPLETE. SUBSTANCE APPEARS TO BE ZIM SALIVA.”

“Ah! I had a feeling that’s what it was! You know, I’m feeling pretty bored right. Now sounds like the perfect time for me to test out my new DNA memory translator! But first, let’s see which Zim this saliva came from.” Zib chuckled as he tapped away at the computer’s keyboard.

DING!

The computer’s monitor flickered as it promptly displayed an image of Your Zim

“Hey! That looks like me!” Your Zim noted as he pointed to his image in the projection.

“Shh!” Specs shushed as he put a finger to his lips.

“Ah! Zim number 2170! Looks like he’s a newbie!” Zib chuckled as he stroked his chin, “Alright computer, let’s see what this Zim’s ��thing’ is!”

Next

[camillemontespan]

that’s why i hate you [AU. drake x camille]

So I said I was taking a writing break and that lasted what.. 3 1/2 days. Tbh, I’m not back to writing my full series yet, this one shot just came to me. 

I tried to do stuff to remember my grandad. It turns out making a memory box is actually brutal and didn’t help me at all so I wrote instead. I’ll get there at some point. 

Warnings: It’s NSFW. It’s got a tiny bit of angst but it’s mostly NSFW. It’s got a lot of swearing, actually.

So don’t read this if you’re under 18. 

Fully expecting Tumblr to flag this because Tumblr likes to flag my stuff, like say oh, my MASTER LIST which had nothing offensive on it?! 

So, what if Drake and Camille had met at court and instead of them getting close like in the original books.. they just flat out hate each other? But kinda crush on each other? But really, for the most part, they hate each other? 

@jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @emceesynonymroll @burnsoslow @ibldw-main @notoriouscs @katedrakeohd @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @drakeswalkers @gardeningourmet @stopforamoment @rainbowsinthestorm @mrsnazariowalker @dcbbw @be-still-my-aching-heart

**************************************************************************************

'Well done, Walker, looks like we're lost.'

'Will you please just shut up for a second, let me think!'

'No need for the attitude, I'm just saying you've gotten us lost.'

'I'm aware of that Einstein, thank you.'

'Could have used Sat Nav but nooo, someone had to be clever and insisted he knew where he was going -'

'Fucks sake, I told you to shut up!'

'How about you BOTH shut up?!' Olivia snapped. Camille and Drake turned to glare at her, interrupted in their row.

Maxwell was sunk down in his seat, praying they would stop arguing. He hated conflict.

Hana was staring out the window, her jaw set, trying to think of her happy place.

Liam was holding his head in his hands, broken after yet another fight between Drake and Camille in the space of an hour.

He wished the two of them just accepted the fact they were actually in love with each other instead of partaking in this 'Who Hates Who More' contest they had been embroiled in since Camille arrived in Cordonia two months ago.

Drake had been mean to her from the beginning. He was always a bit of an asshole but he seemed to hone in on Camille and took it out on her. Liam didn't know why.

After trying to win him around with no success, Camille instead decided she didn't like him and so answered every one of his sarcastic comments, insults and glaring expressions with all the hatred she could muster.

The group were travelling to the south coast for the weekend for Maxwell's birthday. At first, they weren't sure to invite both of them but in the end, Maxwell thought it would be a good opportunity for Drake and Camille to get to know each other in a more relaxed setting.

Big mistake.

To start, Camille had insisted on playing Britney Spears in the car. The group had all complied, except for Drake who said, 'I'm the driver, driver picks. And as the driver, I am not poisoning my ears with that bubblegum slutty crap.'

Big mistake.

'Slutty crap?!' Camille burst out. 'Jesus, you're so fucking misogynistic, just because she sings about sex does not make her a slut! Women are allowed to appreciate sex you know!'

'Heh, hear hear,' Olivia muttered, smiling as she listened to Camille rip Drake a new one.

'Camille, stop shouting...' Drake groaned.

They had drove in silence for a mile or two, settling for radio instead. Camille opened a bag of popcorn. 'Anyone want a snack?' she had asked. Maxwell had grinned, reaching out to take some, but shrank back when Drake said bluntly, 'No snacks in the car.'

'Excuse me? It's a road trip!' Camille protested.

'You're not getting that shit all over the seats,' `Drake replied. 'No chance.'

Camille stared at him. 'This isn't even your car, Drake. It's a fucking hire car.'

'Which I fucking paid for, Montespan,' Drake bit back. 'If the seats get ruined, it's my credit card that takes a beating.'

'Huh, surprised you don't spend all your cash on whiskey,' Camille said, staring straight ahead at the road beyond.

There had been more silence. Maxwell was too scared to breathe. Olivia was trying to nap. Hana was listening to a podcast, headphones in. Liam was trying to make fun small talk.

Now, they were lost and arguing again.

'It's getting dark,' Hana said. 'Let's just find a hotel, sleep off this negative energy and start again tomorrow.'

'Good idea!' Liam agreed. 'I'll Google the nearest one on my phone.'

Camille smirked and said sweetly, 'Google a hotel using Google maps?'

'Yup!'

Camille turned to look at Drake, her eyebrow raised. 'Hear that, Walker? Google maps. Look it up.'

Drake clenched the steering wheel and was about to launch into profanities but was interrupted by Liam who said there was a hotel a mile away. 'Looks a bit shit but hey, it's a bed right?'

The King of Cordonia was really relaxed when it came to hotels, probably because he was so used to the palace that a trailer park would have been a nice novelty.

'Care to direct us, Liam, since Drake can't do that one basic task?' Camille asked.

'You're a fucking cuntsatchel,' Drake muttered. Camille rolled her eyes and helped herself to popcorn, ignoring Drake's stare of contempt.

                                 *************************************************

'I'm sharing with Hana!' Maxwell called out as they wandered down the hallway. It was a motel. It was shit. Olivia was going to be washing her hands every five minutes.

'I'll share with you, Liam,' Olivia said.

Drake and Camille stopped dead. 'Are you fucking kidding?' Drake asked, frowning. 'I'm not sharing with her.'

Camille nodded. 'For once we agree on something. Seconded, I'm not sharing with him!'

Maxwell groaned. 'Guys, I'm sleepy, please can you just share the room so we can all go to bed?'

'I'm not sharing with her,' Drake replied, crossing his arms.

'Guys, come on,' Liam tried.

'No,' they both said.

'You've got to be friendly at some point,' Hana tried to convince them. 'It would make everything so much better.'

'We'll never be friends,' Camille replied. 'He's a whiskey drinking, sarcastic, arrogant dickhead-'

'and she's an annoying, sunshiney naive little girl -'

'For God's sake, will you both please just fuck already?!' Liam shouted. There was a long, shocked silence.

'Excuse me?!' Camille gasped finally. Olivia smirked. 'He's just saying what we're all thinking.'

'You're sick,' Drake said. 'Actually sick.'

Liam sighed. 'It's just so obvious. You act like you both hate each others guts but you don't realise that we see you both watching each other when you think the other can't see. Your eyes follow each other around the room. Camille will make a joke and Drake, your mouth quirks up in the corner as you try to supress laughter. Camille, when you dance with a random guy at court, you always look at Drake who's sat in the corner, as if you wish you were dancing with him instead. Face it, you guys want each other and for some fucked up reason, you won't admit it. So please, for all of us, share the fucking room and have some hate sex. Please. '

He tossed the room key and Drake and dragged himself off to his room with the group following close behind.

Drake and Camille stood at the door awkwardly. 'Umm..' Camille said.

Drake sighed. 'Fuck it. Let's raid the mini bar.'

                             *******************************************

'What kind of hotel room doesn't have a mini bar?!'

Camille rolled her eyes as Drake raged. He looked genuinely pissed off. She ignored his ranting and placed her bag on the bed.

'That's my side,' Drake said, breaking off from his raging.

Camille blinked. 'No. The right side is my side.'

'Same. Move your bag.'

Camille stared at him. 'No! My bag was here first. I got dibs.'

Drake groaned and reached out to pick up her bag. Camille grabbed his arm and said with a warning tone in her voice, 'Don't touch my stuff.'

Drake's eyes met hers. 'Fine, Your Majesty.'

'You are honestly such a prick,' Camille hissed. 'Why are you such a dick to me? I never did anything to you and yet you treat me like garbage!'

Drake drew himself up, his chest out. 'Because you're annoying. You're like this eternal sunshine person which is exhausting. You're constantly around and you think you're like the nobles but you're not. Court is full of awful people and you just so willingly trust them which makes you naive. And you smell of coconut which sometimes lingers on my shirt when you're gone and it's so irritating! '

'It's not my fault I smell of coconut!' she shouted.

'Your hair smells of coconut! Literally all of you smells of fucking coconut! Whenever I smell coconut, I'm fucking reminded of you and then I start thinking about you and it’s really fucking inconvenient!'

Camille stared at him. 'You think about me?' she asked, her voice incredulous. Drake paled. Of course she had latched onto the one thing he hadn't meant to say.

'No,' he answered shortly. 'I never think about you.'

The lie slid from his tongue so easily.

Of course I think about you. I think about you when I wake up, knowing I'll see you that day. I think about you before I go to sleep because that's the time of day when I'm alone with my thoughts and I'm unguarded. I think about you when I jerk myself off, thinking about your coconut hair, your caramel skin, your brown eyes that have gold flecks. I think about how you might taste if I went down on you. I think about how you would feel around my dick. I think about kissing you, constantly kissing you, never coming up for air because I want to drown in your coconut scent. I think about dancing with you at a ball and how your hand will feel in mine. We don’t get along in the slightest and yeah, that’s my fault, I started it. Your constant positivity and sunshine attitude irritated me at the start because I felt you were being naive about court. You were setting yourself up to be hurt and if you knew me, you would know that I hate that kind of vulnerability. I wanted to protect you but you weren’t - you’re NOT- mine to protect. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking about you. I think about you all the fucking time and that's why I hate you.

He didn't say any of that though. Instead, he just maintained his steady gaze on her, his eyes penetrating hers. They were standing so close together. Drake allowed himself to think that if he just bowed his head, he could kiss her. As quickly as the thought came, he pushed it down but Camille saw his eyes darken and knew what he had just thought. She thought about it too and her eyes also darkened, mirroring his own.

They acted on it at the same time.

Their mouths collided and Camille threw her arms around his neck, holding onto him for dear life. Drake's fingers tangled in her hair and he caught a whiff of coconut. He felt his jeans tighten.

Drake lifted her up, holding her ass to keep her in place. Their tongues twisted and fought, both of them trying to establish dominance. Drake wanted to win.

Throwing her down on the bed, Drake then pulled off his shirt and cast it to the floor. Camille watched, her pupils huge, as he advanced on her. She had no idea he had been hiding  this body under that damn denim shirt. He was all broad shoulders, muscled arms, defined abs and hip lines that drew her eyes down. Drake had the body of a hulking man; a body chiselled and strengthened through the years. She wanted that body on her. She wanted to feel his strong hands on her skin and him inside her. She wanted him to fuck her hard, leaving her breathless. She wanted him.

As if reading her mind, Drake suspended himself above her and pulled off her top. Camille unbuttoned her jeans and dragged them off, throwing them to the floor to join his discarded shirt. She then unclipped her bra; Drake pulled off her thong. 

She was completely bare to him now. Vulnerable to his gaze. 

His eyes roamed her body for a long moment, taking her in. ‘Fuck, Montespan..’ he breathed. Camille’s hand slid down his chest and settled on his bulging crotch. Drake unbuckled his belt and pulled off his jeans and boxers, releasing himself. 

Camille’s eyes widened when she saw what she was dealing with. ‘Fuck, Walker.’

Drake smirked, that smirk that Camille always said she hated but secretly loved. The smirk that always made her feel a stirring in her core. The smirk that she thought of when she was alone in her room with nothing but her hand and imagination.

I think about you when it’s dark. I think about you when I’m lonely. I think about you when I’m bored. I think about you when I’ve got an itch that needs scratched. I think about how big you might be, I think about you fucking me over and over. I think about you biting my skin, leaving teeth marks. I think about you kissing down my stomach, kissing lower and lower until you reach my secret skin. I think about you when I cum because your face is the image that gets me there. Despite the fact that you treat me like shit, I still think about you. I think about you all the fucking time and that’s why I hate you.

The gentleness was now replaced with urgency. Drake got down between her thighs and Camille let out a gutteral cry as she felt his tongue slide between her folds, lapping deep. Drake couldn’t deny that she tasted delicious. As his tongue worked her, Camille held onto the pillows, panting as he made her feel like she was on fire. 

‘Oh God, Drake!’ she cried, arching her back off the bed as she felt herself getting close. Drake continued to twist his tongue and he reached out to cup her breast, squeezing and kneading as he did so. 

It was like he knew her body so well. He knew what she would like before she did. She liked how his hands spanned her hips, his fingernails digging into her skin as he increased his pace. She liked how he groaned against her, enjoying her taste, and she liked how he wasn’t treating her like fine china. He meant business. He was going to make her cum. 

His tongue found the spot. Camille’s legs began to shake and pins and needles developed in her feet. He drew black magic from her, like only he could, and his tongue whispered enchanted spells in an ancient language. 

‘I’m gonna cum,’ she breathed, ‘I’m gonna- I’m gonna-’

Drake didn’t stop. He became relentless; he wanted her to cum and he wanted to taste all of her. He felt her walls contract and Camille’s body jerked as she let go, screaming his name as he pushed her over the edge. 

When she felt like she had returned to her body, she watched him with dark eyes as he slid a finger into her. Drawing it out, he licked his finger and gave her that smirk again. Camille felt the heat in her core rise up again.

‘Fuck me, Walker.’

‘I was going to.’

‘Fuck me now.’

‘Impatient much?’ he joked. Camille rolled her eyes and pulled him down on top of her. Drake placed his elbows on either side of her head and as he kissed her neck, she felt him touch her entrance. She let out a harsh gasp. 

Drake closed his eyes as he felt her walls around him. She was so tight; he loved it. He began to move his hips and she followed, both moving in unison. She wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her fingernails into his muscled back, drawing blood. Nothing he wasn’t used to; he had been scratched many times by the women he fucked. Some had left scars that had soon faded to silver, wounds from battles that took place in his own bed.

‘You smell so much of fucking coconut,’ he growled in her ear. 

‘You fucking love it,’ she whispered back, her tongue darting out to lick his ear. Drake let out a groan and drove deeper into her, making her cry out his name. He reached out to hold her arms above her head, pinning her in place as he fucked her. This was primal. He felt like his body had taken over and was laying waste to her. He was ravaging her body and he loved it. She loved it. 

‘Fuck me harder!’ she shouted, her eyes closed as she focused on how he felt. Drake didn’t need telling twice; he thrust harder, making her cries more frequent and increasing in volume. 

Drake loved a screamer.

He wondered if he could make her scream louder. Setting himself the challenge, he pulled her up so she was straddling his lap. Camille wound her legs around him, unfazed by the change in position and moved her hips, grinding hard. 

‘Holy fuck, Camille..’ he breathed, biting her shoulder gently. Camille closed her eyes, smiling.

Camille loved a biter. 

‘I’m gonna make you cum,’ he whispered in her ear, his breath tickling her neck. ‘I’m gonna make you cum so hard, you forget your name. You forget everything around you except me.’

Camille groaned at his words and rode him quicker. She wanted him to make her cum. 

Drake picked her up, still inside her, and got off the bed. Still kissing hungrily, he brought her against the wall and proceeded to fuck the life out of her. That was how it felt to Camille; he was fucking the life out of her and with each heated kiss, he brought her back to life again. 

She didn’t care that her back would be bruised the next day. She didn’t care that his smokey scent mixed with whiskey would linger on her skin for days. She didn’t care that she was having sex with Drake Walker or how weird this would be after. She was caught up in the present moment, focusing on everything he was doing to her. He was all she thought about. 

As they both fell over the brink, their eyes met. There was no dislike here; no more burning resentment. Just pure, searing honesty. Drake kissed her fiercely, swallowing her voice before she could scream his name. 

        *****************************************************************************

Drake let her back down to the ground. Shaking, Camille avoided his gaze as she went to the bathroom to freshen up and gather herself. Drake watched her naked form as she walked away from him; she had a tiny tattoo on the base of her spine, which was something he hadn’t known until now. He knew her intimately now. He knew how she felt around him. He knew how she tasted. He knew how his name sounded on her lips as she screamed it over and over like a battle cry. 

He pulled his boxers back on and found his pyjamas.  It was 11pm now and he felt exhausted. 

Drake got under the covers on the left hand side. 

‘Um.. can you not look when I come out?’ she asked, poking her head out the bathroom door. Drake frowned, confused. ‘But I’ve seen you naked?’

‘I know. That was then. This is now.’ 

Drake chuckled and closed his eyes. He heard her pad softly around the room and unzip her bag. ‘Oh crap.’

‘What?’ he asked. 

‘I’ve packed really inappropriate nightwear,’ she mumbled. 

‘No such thing as inappropriate nightwear, Montespan,’ he quipped. He heard her sigh. 

‘I packed my slip dress because I figured I’d be sharing with one of the girls. Not you. This is a bit.. revealing.’

‘Montespan, I’m sure its fine,’ he told her, his eyes still closed. 

‘I don’t feel comfortable wearing it in front of you.’

Drake sighed. ‘Okay. You want to borrow my shirt?’

‘Your shirt?’

‘Yup. My denim shirt. It’s on the floor. It’ll keep you safe from my prying eyes.’

‘Shurrup, Walker.’

He heard her move. ‘Okay, you can open your eyes now,’ she said a minute later. Drake opened his eyes and swallowed when he saw her. 

Camille Montespan looked fucking good in his denim shirt. 

‘See?’ he croaked. ‘Safe from my prying eyes.’

Camille blushed and awkwardly moved to the bed and got under the sheets. ‘Thank you for letting me borrow it,’ she murmured, looking into his eyes.

 Drake smiled. ‘No problem.’

He turned off his bedside light, cloaking the room in darkness. Exhausted though he was, he couldn’t stop his mind from thinking through what they had just done. He was relieved when Camille spoke, breaking him out of his thoughts.

‘Do you actually hate me, Drake?’ she asked into the dark. 

Drake bit his lip. Honest answer or lie? He decided to go for honesty; he had just fucked her after all.

‘No, I don’t hate you. Not really. I thought I did but I guess I wanted to fuck you more.’

Camille laughed dryly. 

‘Do you hate me?’ he asked.

‘I strongly dislike you,’ she admitted. ‘But only because for the past two months, you’ve treated me like dirt. So excuse me for not casting myself down at your feet, begging you to be my friend.’

Drake bit his lip. He was such an asshole. ‘I think about you all the time,’ he told the dark. ‘I shouldn’t but I do. At first, I was confused. It didn’t make sense to me. The more I thought about you, the more I lashed out and treated you like shit.’

‘Kinda like little boys who crush on girls in the playground,’ Camille said. ‘If we were young, you would be pulling my hair and pushing me down by now.’

Drake shrugged. ‘Something like that. I’m emotionally stunted.’

There was a silence. Drake broke it. ‘If you strongly dislike me, why fuck me then?’

Camille turned red; she was glad he couldn’t see her face. ‘I guess I have a crush on you, Drake Walker.’

‘You’re so twisted.’

‘I know. So are you.’

Drake laughed and absentmindedly reached out to play with a tendril of her hair. He wound it around his finger, enjoying the silk of it. 

‘You are beautiful, by the way,’ he suddenly said. Camille jumped at the sudden and unexpected compliment.  ‘What?’

He smirked. ‘You are. I’ve always thought so. Your eyes are gorgeous. I could look into them all day.’

Camille didn’t know what to say. Why was he saying these things? 

I’m being honest because we’ve just shared the most intimate thing you can do with someone. I’m being honest because we’re in the dark. I’m being honest because if I don’t tell you this shit now, I never will. The harsh light of day brings with it a harsh reality. 

‘I love how when I’m an asshole to you, you don’t take it,’ he continued. ‘You don’t stand for my shit and you put me in my place. It’s kinda hot when you throw it back at me.’ 

Camille giggled nervously. ‘Except for when you called me a cuntsatchel in the car.’

Drake smirked. ‘I’m such a dick, I’m sorry I said that to you.’

‘I don’t care, I’m adding it to my vocabulary,’ she replied and they both descended into giggles. Camille rolled over to face him; they were centimetres apart. Drake could smell the scent of coconut and he leaned into it, inhaling. 

‘Did you ever think we’d hook up?’ she asked softly, running her finger down his chest. Drake shook his head.

‘Nah, Montespan. You’re too good for me.’

She frowned. ‘No, I’m not.’

He scoffed and took her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles. He could do these things because they were in the dark. The dark was a safe place. ‘You’re this vibrant, beautiful, intelligent woman. You light up the room. I’m just the useless commoner who everyone says rides on Liam’s coat tails. While you light up rooms, I bring them into darkness. I always have, always will. I will just bring you down.’ 

Camille shook her head fiercely. ‘I don’t believe that for a second, Drake.’

‘Montespan-’

‘No, Drake!’ she argued, sitting up on her elbow. He could make out her frame, the way her body curved in and out, his denim shirt hiding her body from his prying eyes. ‘You may be an asshole to me but underneath, you are a good guy. You are loyal to Liam. You look out for the underdog. You are true to yourself in every way. You refuse to conform to what court demands and you don’t let yourself get taken in by the glamour and status. You are Drake Walker.’ 

Drake smiled weakly. ‘Who knew you had such a high opinion of me, Camille?’

She grinned. ‘You just called me Camille.’

‘Yeah. So?’

‘You always call me Montespan.’

Drake sighed. ‘So I don’t get close to you. It’s a defence mechanism. Stupid, I know.’

Camille moved closer to him; he could feel her heartbeat against his chest. ‘I like the way you say my name,’ she murmured softly. Drake blushed and became painfully aware of his growing erection. 

‘Camille,’ he said. 

She smiled. ‘Say my name again.’

‘Camille.’

Camille rolled so her body was now on his. Straddling him, she kissed him deeply. Drake’s hands went to her hips, holding her close. He then pulled away as if he had just had an electric shock. ‘Why are you kissing me?’ 

‘Because,’ was all she said. 

‘I thought what we had done was over,’ he murmured. 

‘Do you want it to be?’

Drake closed his eyes. He couldn’t see her in the dark which was probably for the best. The dark meant he could be honest.

‘Not yet,’ he admitted, his voice low. ‘Not yet.’ 

He pulled off her slip dress until they were bare skin to bare skin again. As he kissed her chest and she threw her head back, he saw the moon had shone through and illuminated her, casting her in a silver glow. He could see her clearly now and he thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. 

   *********************************************************************************

They woke up the next morning to the harsh light of day. Camille’s slip dress was discarded on the floor, as were her underwear, meaning she was naked when she woke up at the same time as Drake. A red flush covered her cheeks when she realised and Drake, remembering her weird prudishness, covered his eyes when she got out of bed. 

Drake and Camille didn’t speak one word to each other as they got dressed. They kept their eyes away from each other, looking at anywhere but the other, regardless of how much they wanted to look. 

Camille checked her phone. ‘The others are downstairs waiting for us,’ she said quietly. Drake nodded, trying not to dread seeing the rest of the group. Camille shrugged her jacket on and gave Drake a nod. ‘Thanks for letting me have the right hand side of the bed, by the way,’ she said.

Drake shrugged. ‘It’s okay. It didn’t matter to me that much really.’

‘Well, it did to me. I guess I feel... safer on that side. Is that weird?’

‘Probably. But if anyone had come in to kill us, I’d have protected you.’ 

Camille blinked, surprised. Drake sighed and ran a hand through his hair. ‘Let’s just get downstairs before they start asking if we had hate sex.’

‘We did have hate sex,’ she said, addressing the elephant in the room.

‘I thought you had a crush on me?’ he said, raising his eyebrow.  She looked down at the floor for a moment until she looked back up at him, smiling triumphantly before saying, ‘Well you’re the one who thinks I’m beautiful.’

There was a long silence. Camille shrugged and picked up her bag, walking to the door and holding it open so Drake could follow her. He waited in the hallway as she locked up. When she turned to walk with him down the hall, Drake suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her into him, silencing her startled gasp when their mouths collided. He smelled of leather, sandalwood and a hint of whiskey. When they broke apart, Camille was staring at him, her eyes wide. Drake exhaled. ‘I know I’m gonna want to do that to you the whole time we’re driving, so I thought I’d get it out of the way first.’ 

**************************************************************************************

Drake drove the group out of the car park. Camille was in the front passenger seat and everytime she ran a hand through her hair, the scent of coconut filled his nostrils. 

Maxwell let out a loud yawn. ‘God, I slept terribly last night,’ he said. 

‘Same,’ Hana said. ‘I need coffee.’

‘I need a vat of coffee,’ Liam said. ‘Maybe an IV drip of coffee.’

‘Why did you guys not sleep well?’ Camille asked. 

‘Hmm,’ Olivia said from the back seat, ‘maybe it was because of the constant bed squeaking and headboard banging coming from your room?’

Camille whipped around to stare at her friends who were pressing their lips together to hold back laughter. 

‘Oh god, I’m gonna cum!’ Maxwell squealed. ‘Drake, I’m gonna!’

‘MAXWELL!’ Drake roared, clenching the steering wheel, forcing himself to keep his eyes on the road ahead when really, he wanted to throttle the young Beaumont.

‘Oh my GOD, MONTESPAN!’ Olivia joined in, making her voice low and gruff. 

‘Drake, Drake, Drake!’ Hana cried, jumping up and down in her seat. 

Camille covered her ears, her face turning red as she listened to the others pretending to be her and Drake. 

‘I swear to God, I’m gonna pull this car over..’ Drake warned, keeping his eyes on the road. 

‘Fuck me harder!’ Liam shouted, laughing when Camille turned to stare at him with her eyes narrowed. 

‘Liam, you should know better, you’re the King!’ she hissed.  He stuck his tongue out at her, accepting a high five from Maxwell. 

Drake sighed and looked over at Camille. She looked mortified. He felt a pang in his chest. ‘Guys, fucking stop it,’ he said, his voice steady. ‘You’re embarrassing Camille.’

‘Oh my god, are you defending her?’ Olivia asked. ‘That’s a first. Jesus, you must be a good lay, Camille.’ 

Camille reached out to gently hit Olivia on the knee. ‘Shut up. And yes, I am.’ 

Drake chuckled and he looked out the corner of his eye at her. She looked at him and gave him a smile. 

‘Tonight?’ he mouthed. 

Camille nodded discreetly, giving him a wink. Drake resisted the urge to punch the air.  Camille reached into her bag. ‘Who wants snacks?’ 

This time, Drake didn’t protest. 

[fantasyandromancelover]

The Tale of Tales Chapter 29

Natsu began teaching Lucy sword fighting as soon as possible but she wasn't a fast learner. According to Natsu shedidn't move quick enough and she wasn't keeping balance with her fighting.

"This is impossible." Lucy said in frustration.

"It's difficult but not impossible." He told her.

"You make it look so easy."

"That's because I have it mastered. Over the years I've learned to fight better than any knight and I've developed the superior senses of a bloodhound."

Just then he tensed up.

"What is it?" Lucy asked.

"Someone's coming." Natsu listened carefully. "Let's see judging by the sound of their footsteps I'd they're human and they're carrying a sword with a blade of silver, a cross bow, and silver tipped arrows."

"How could you possibly know that just by hearing their footsteps?"

"It's a gift. Whoever this person is they sound dangerous so you go hide. I'll take care of them."

Lucy hid behind a tree while Natsu waited for the person to cone closer. Once he heard the footsteps come nearby he jumped on to the person to attack. Lucy didn't see anything however she did hear Natsu screaming and crying out in pain. Concerned, she came out from her hiding spot and went to help him only to find him beaten to a pulp and hog tied with a young woman in a red shawl standing victorious on top of him.

"So thought that you could rob me did you?" She said. "You bandits don't stand a chance against someone like me."

"My goodness! Natsu are you okay?" Lucy gasped.

The poor man was too dizzy and delirious from the many bumps on his head to respond.

"Are you a bandit as well?" The woman asked preparing to attack her.

"No! No! No! You don't understand! We're not bandits! We're just travellers!"

"Then why did this idiot attack me?"

"He thought that you were a thug or something. Please understand, we were previously attacked by trolls."

"I see."

"Hey Lucy I didn't know you had a twin sister." Natsu slurred. "Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Is he going to be alright?" Lucy asked the woman.

"He'll regain his senses in about ten to twenty minutes. Now then who are you people?"

"I'm Lucy and the man you just clobbered was Prince Natsu of Alvarez."

"He's a prince?" Erza looked at him skeptically. "He certainly doesn't look the part of Prince Charming."

"Well looks can be decieving."

"You've got that right. When I first saw him I was sure he was some drunk thug from the local pub."

"So um you know who we are but who are you?"

"I'm Erza. I live in the Magnolia village that resides in this forest."

"I've read about that village but isn't it in the other direction?"

"I'm looking for the pub because I want to drill those drunkards for information."

"Information on what?"

"A certain mirror."

"You mean the mirror with the evil spirit trapped inside?"

"How do you know about that?"

"My mother told me stories about it when I was younger."

"Do you know where it is?"

"No. But I don't think anyone at that pub will know. According to my mother only a fairy would be able to find it."

"A fairy?"

"It was a group of fairies and wise men who sealed the evil spirit in the mirror and the fairies were charged with keeping track of it. So if you want to find it you'd have to talk to a fairy."

"That's easier said than done. Do you know how hard it is to find fairies? They hide from humans and try to avoid them the best they can."

"Well I know how to find one fairy. She's my fairy godmother and she's trapped somewhere but that astral line in the sky should lead me right to her. You could come with us and ask her where the mirror is but why do you want to find it? Don't you know the mirror corrupts whoever uses it?"

"I don't want to use it I want to destroy it. The horrible looking glass has only caused misery and suffering and it must be eliminated before it causes any further harm to anyone."

"What has the mirror done?"

"I'm not aware of all it's damage but it's done something terrible to a number of good people and I've made it my mission to free those people from the suffering that the mirror has inflicted upon them."

"Ugh...My head." Natsu said coming back to his senses. "What happened?"

"You were beaten by a girl." Lucy giggled.

"What?!" Natsu looked at Erza surprised. "You mean you're a woman?! I thought you were some red haired barbarian!"

Erza only punched him in the gutter hard knocking him to the ground.

"So is Prince Charming here your bethrothed or something?" Erza asked.

"Bethrothed?!" Natsu and Lucy gasped while blushing.

"Oh no! No! No! No! No! No way! Uh-uh!" Lucy said nervously.

"She's just a scullery maid I'm escorting!" Natsu said equally nervous. "It's nothing like that! I was just being a gentleman! That's all!"

"Geez a simple no would have sufficed." Erza said. "Anyway Lucy are you positive you don't mind me joining you on your quest?"

"No not at all."

"Wait a minute you invited this crazy chick to come with us?!" Natsu said.

"Of course. She needs help."

"She looks like she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself to me!"

"She needs a fairy's help!"

"Then why doesn't she go find her own fairy?!"

"Hey I thought princes were supposed to help damsels in distresses?"

"Does that damsel look like she's in distress to you?!"

"Hello I'm right here." Erza said.

"Look I started this quest so I say she can come with us and if you have problem with this then you can go back to Fiore and marry Minerva!"

"Oh gross! Don't even joke about that!"

They bickered for hours but in the end Lucy won the argument so Erza was now their newest traveling companion and to repay Lucy for the favor it started to get late Erza killed a bear and served it for dinner. Unfortunately Lucy lost her appetite after watching Natsu and Erza eat their dinner like a pack of ravenous wolves.

"So I guess they didn't have time to teach you table manners in the castle huh?" Lucy asked Natsu.

"What's that supposed to mean? Hey I wanted the liver!" Natsu said when Erza started eating it.

"I killed it so I get to first dibs on everything." Erza said.

"But the liver is the best part!"

"Which is why I should have it!"

"I should have it I'm a prince!"

"And I'm someone who could turn you inside with my eyes closed! Back off!"

She gave him a threatening death glare which frightened him into hiding behind Lucy allowing Erza to finish her meal. Once they had eaten they began to exchange stories about how they ended up here.

"So a young prince is escorting a servant through a dangerous forest and here I thought chivalry was dead." Erza said. "Though your so called prince didn't act so chivalrous toward me. A prince should know better than to attack a lady."

"And in what universe are you a lady?!" Natsu shouted. "I've seen men more feminine!"

"And I've seen drunkards act more gentleman like."

"You're an amazing hunter Erza." Lucy said. "Have you always been able to hunt and fight like that?"

"No. Actually I was trained to hunt and fight by a friend of mine from the village. He was a huntsman who was forced to fend for himself at a young age. He was fourteen and I was fifteen when we started training and he tried to make me pay for lessons so I lopped him on the head to get him to teach me for free. However my grandmother was a wolf slayer in her day so I think some of my fighting technique is also genetic."

"Is this huntsman your boyfriend?"

"Eww. No he's more like the annoying little brother I never wanted and besides he once told me that he froze his heart so that he could never fall in love."

"Metaphorically speaking right?"

"No he literally froze his heart."

"How the hell do you freeze your heart?" Natsu said.

"Our priest Reverend Makarov makes special potions, medicines, and elixirs that are used to help people in the village. He tried to make a potion that would make humans able withstand cold weather but accidentally made a potion that would freeze a person's heart making them cold, bitter, and incapable of feeling emotion. Makarov didn't want to give it to him but he was persistent and once he took it his heart became frozen."

"That's awful. Why would he do that?" Lucy asked.

"I don't know. I guess he didn't want to get his heart broken."

"If you ask me I'd rather have a broken heart than a frozen one."

"So the guy will never feel anything?" Natsu asked. "He'll have a heart of ice forever?"

"I once asked Makarov if there was a cure and apparently only warm tears of love can thaw a frozen heart of hatred."

"Warm tears of love?" Lucy said.

"Makarov says that true love is the most powerful and simple form of magic. It can transcend time or realms, it can break any curse, and it can overcome any evil."

"That's so romantic." Lucy sighed. "I can't wait for when I find my true love."

"They say love hits you when you least expect it." Erza said. "And I have a feeling you're definitely going to be that case."

[ellen-reincarnated1967]

She Waits

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Reader, mentions of Kevin Tran, Naomi, Castiel, Azazel, and Crowley

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Warnings/Triggers: Angst, possibly some tears, mentions of blood, nothing too graphic.

A/N: Set during the “Trials”, Sam sets out to close the gates to Hell. This will be told from the Reader’s POV as to what she is witnessing.  

Challenge: Written for @mrswhozeewhatsis 2018 Louden Swain Fanfic and Fanart Project.  I chose the song, She Waits, by Louden Swain.  This song, no matter how you discern it, speaks volumes to me.  It never ceases to bring me to tears and it has nothing to do with waiting for the love of your life to return.  To me, it’s that love and glimmer of hope that we hang onto so strongly, that nothing, not even wild horses can tear from our grasp.  I’d like to personally thank the band in its entirety, for making me feel again- the first time I heard this song was at NashCon 2017, and while I was gob smacked by all the fanfare, smiling from ear to ear, this song smacked me upside the head, ripped at my breastplate, and shocked my heart into a myriad of emotions.  I hope that I do it justice. Rob’s performance threw me into a fit of concern, knowing of his past health issues, and the power and tears he fought through singing this song, had me wanting to keep him safe from it all. I commented to my best friend @jodyri that I wanted to put Rob in my pocket and keep him safe.  She replied with, “he’s a grown ass man, Andi.” Shrugging, I replied, “and yet he cries and I will always want to protect him.”

Lyrics can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWm-ba52o9Q

Word Count: 2244

Have faith

Promises were made

You just take care and behave

You left, and now you are saved

The path, it walks you away

Sam Winchester has always had this complex from the moment I laid my eyes on his weathered face.  While the world was in need of saving, this man, stitched together by duct tape and safety pins, long before the Trials, needed his own savior.  He silently would pray to a God that we had never seen with our own eyes, but it was his pure yet naive belief, that with all the sins that were borne of his fight to save the innocent, he was in dire need of a baptism, a cleansing, purification by what was written by this God, on tablets as weathered as he.  

Sam had an unwavering faith in his brother, the cause, the angel that considered him once an abomination, and his faith in me was the one thing I wished I had at least nine tenths of possession.  The pain that he had gone through, the losses, the childhood he never had, a house he could never call a home, were not obstacles in his path, no, they were mere stepping stones leading up to this moment.  He promised me that no matter what, he would close those gates to Hell, our lives would be less of a burden, the losses we took, would dwindle, and we’d find every last demon released on Earth, and when the last was sent back to its place in Hell, maybe, just maybe we could finally just be.  

The first trial, according to the prophet, our friend, Kevin, was to bathe in the blood of a hellbeast.  Dean in all his eldest brother machismo, called dibs on the Trials, but in the end, it was Sam, who lay drenched in the blood of a hellhound, his knife gutting the beast from belly to nose.  The look in his eyes was something I had seen many times over; relief, protection, weariness. He saved us once again, but at what cost?

Kah nuh ahm dahr

As Sam read the Enochian incantation, from my seated position, I saw this incredible light as bright as a sunset, traverse up his forearm, the pain most obvious by the clenched jaw, the way his body turns into itself, his eyes brimming with tears he refuses to let fall.  He looked to me, as worry filled my very being, mouthed that he was okay, and turned to his brother as if nothing supernatural occured.  That’s how the three of us acted; Dean stowed away his worry drinking, Sam pushed himself onto the next task, and I was with him every step of the way.  We spend every waking moment with one another, we brush our teeth together, we run five miles every morning, and that’s how I noticed that Sam was not himself.  Blood mixed with water, droplets in the sink, that coppery taste with a kiss goodnight, did not go unnoticed.  Yet he carried on with the Trials.  And I- waited by his side, doing whatever in my power I could.  

And meanwhile the house is empty

The floors lay, naked and weary

The walls, barely hanging on

Carry on

And she waits for you

Last night

You left like a bird

Fly away, and never be heard

The wind, it's cold and absurd

But, man, you gave her your word

The second trial it was decided to save a soul from Hell and it came to be an absolute shock when we were informed by this “taxi driver” that our Bobby, had never made it to Heaven.  Crowley hijacked his soul and sent it to suffer unbeknownst to us, for months, possibly years, in a cage in Hell. As Dean bargained with the driver for three tickets down, four back, Sam pulled us aside and told us he was doing this alone.  Dean, stoic, sans a tick of his jaw, knew Sam was right, but had not dared to say the words.  I, on the other hand, did not let my voice go unheard.  I walked to Baby’s trunk and armed myself with a few knives and the brass knuckles I favored, and planted myself in front of Sam.  Determined and stubborn, he knew breaking the promise that he had made me long ago, will break me more than if he didn’t return.  Yet, Sam shook his head, kissed me like it would be the last time, and shoved me into Dean’s arms.  I fought against Dean’s stronghold, I even elbowed him in the stomach, but to no avail. As Dean peeled away from the alleyway, I watched with tear stained cheeks, Sam take the driver’s hand and disappear like a bird in the wind.

Sam made it back, I always knew he would, but he came back more weathered and torn, his burdens lay bare on his shoulders, the way he carried himself towards us as if he was hunched from the pain. We anchored him, planted ourselves on either side of him as he drew the blade  into his forearm and we watched as Bobby’s soul floated towards Heaven, only to be caught in some sort of black smoke.

Crowley.

Another player in the game that we were not going to lose, regardless of the stakes, I watched in absolute shock as both the King of Hell and the watcher of angels, Naomi, fought one another, their contrasting powers ricocheted off one another, until Crowley was beaten.  While Sam was in Hell, we were visited by Naomi and Castiel, who revealed to us that Metatron was lying to us.  We were mere pawns in his game to overtake Heave and cast out the angels.  It was then my suspicions were confirmed.  Sam, if he completed these trials, would not only seal the gates once and for all, but the final task, the fine print, if you will, of God’s plan, was a sacrifice.  

Sam’s life for the human race.

Sam was burning, literally from the insides out, and he kept on trudging.  I begged him to stop and he begged me to let him go.  I’ve fought countless demons, suffered tortuous pain from my captors, angelic, monstrous, and sometimes, human, but what Sam was asking of me, was the hardest and most unimaginable pain I could only fathom.  I swore to him that I’d let him finish, damn the consequences. I knew he had taken on too much, he felt a burden to Dean, always had, no matter how many times Dean promised him it was okay. It was okay that we didn’t go looking for him in Purgatory, it was okay that we tried to live an apple pie life, it was okay.  

It really never was.  We were bested by the lies we told.  The more we lied the more Sam became an empty shell of the man I fell in love with. These were not only God’s Trials, they were his and mine as well.  Sam felt as if this was his chance at purification from the stigma of being chosen by Azazel.  It was then that I felt that all I had given him, the love, the reassurance, the promises of forever, was never enough.  

And meanwhile the house is empty

The floors lay, naked and weary

The walls, barely hanging on

Carry on

And she, waits for you

Despite the feeling of being not enough for Sam, I waited.  I would continue to wait for him to see that he was enough for me.  

Third and final trial, cure a demon.  I found myself laughing at the preposterous task.  Perhaps, that’s when Dean realized I had finally broke.  He didn’t acknowledge it, no, rather we schemed to capture Crowley and Sam planned to use the findings in the Men of Letters' lore, that it was absolutely possible to cure a demon.  For they were once human, after all.  Tucked away in an abandoned church, Sam prepared the ritual.  Extracting his blood, sanctifying it, and injecting it into the soulless one.  Extract, purify, inject.

Extract.

Purify.

Inject.

The more Sam gave of himself to save Crowley, the more torn apart Sam became.  The skin on his arms was peeling, the hollowness of his eyes became more prominent, his once tawny complexion, was that of a ghost’s echo.  I stayed outside; another promise to Sam.  I wouldn’t allow Dean to stop him.  

Promises are fickle when you love someone.  Do you break them when their life is in peril or do you suffer and condemn yourself as well?  As I pondered these dauntless questions, I was distracted when Dean appeared, determined, to get to Sam.  He was shouting at me, words I could not, no, would not register, because I made a promise to Sam.  I fought Dean as best as any hunter could, but he could never be bested, not by the likes of me. I stumbled as he apologized, clocking my jaw, pushing past the church’s doors, and begging Sam to stop the trials.

You’ll die, Sam.

So?

One word so devastating that when Dean looked to me, to back him up, I resolutely stood my ground, tears silently streaking down my cheeks, the blood on my lip smeared on the back of my hand, hands that were now fists at my sides.  Realization hit Dean in the gut- he was caught breathless.

You knew? You knew he’d die and you, what, YNN, you did nothin’?

I promised.

She promised.  She stood by me, Dean, stood by me, when I was nothing but a burden to you.  You know what I confessed in there, Dean?  My greatest sin?

That I wasn’t good enough for you; you can’t do this with me, Dean. You think I need a chaperone, remember?

I failed you, Dean.  That is my greatest sin.  And...I can’t do that again.

Don’t you think, that there isn’t anything past or present, that I wouldn’t put in front of you, Sammy.  

She can't hear anything they're saying

She can't believe what is true

It doesn't make sense what they're saying

She can't see anyone, but you

Sam let it go- he failed to complete the last trial, because he finally heard from Dean what he had needed to hear.

He was enough.

As he whimpered in relief as the sickness dimmed from his arms, he doubled over, and I bolted to his side, bolstering him upright with Dean, once again.  Yet, the irony of it all, we weren’t enough to save him.  It was too late and that will be the one thing that will keep me alive, because a swift death would be too easy a way out. I will wait for him.

Little girl

Hold on and wait

It's not fair, the fairness is overrated

Wait and you will be saved

The path, it walks in this way

The angels fell.  

My angel fell.  

Into a comatose state; machines would be his life support.  

I found Dean in the chapel, I heard his prayers.  How weak I had become during these Trials, any other hunter would laugh in my face as once again, I let the tears fall.  I just didn’t care enough anymore.  All I wanted was Sam back.  Call me selfish, call me a traitor.  He was always good enough for me.  As I walked back to Sam’s side in the hospital room, I crawled up against his seemingly lifeless body, and curled into his broken shell.

I waited.  

I would wait for Dean’s prayers to be answered.  

I would wait to break Sam’s promise.  

I would continue to wait for the love of my life.

And meanwhile the house is empty

The floors lay, naked and weary

The walls, barely hanging on

Carry on

And she, waits for you

She waits for you

She waits

Tags: @one-shots-supernatural @oneshoeshort @mrswhozeewhatsis @sammit-janet @saxxxology @pinknerdpanda @wheresthekillswitch @emptywithout @jodyri @hiddenwritingsintheworld @oriona75 @kittenofdoomage @kazosa @emilyymichelle @ladywinchester1967 @charliebradbury1104 @growningupgeek @emoryhemsworth @sisterhoodofsam @sis-tafics @d-s-winchester @iwantthedean @chelsea072498 @thing-you-do-with-that-thing  @iwriteshortstuff @bringmesomepie56 @samwincstr @xtina2191 @speakinvain @chloemac86 @20secspnfam4 @manawhaat @rizlowwritessortof @kas-not-cas @luci-in-trenchcoats @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @faith-in-dean @fast-times-in-the-impala @impala-dreamer @impalaimagining @mooseleys @peggingpadalecki @capturingsamwinchester @captainrogerss @womanoflettersqueenofmoons16 @soaringeag1e @river-alice-wolf @riversong-sam

[sonofadeanwinchester]

The Best Friend

Summary:  Sebastian knocks on your door at three am with some personal issues. Because you're the best friend, you of course, help him out.

Words: 2211

Warnings: swearing (as usual) and a whole lot of Seb Sass

A/N:  I wrote this with as much SASS as possible going through my brain. So, hopefully the sarcasm comes across.

(gif isn’t mine)

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! My immediate reaction to hearing knocking on my door at 3 am was that someone was either a) dying or b) gonna be dying. "Jesus." I whisper as I stumble through my pitch black apartment. KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! "Fuck off." This one was more of a hoarse yell. I fumble with the locks on my door and swing it open, squinting into bright lights and a tall, smiling figure. "What the fuck?"

The figure laughed. "Did I wake you?"

"No, Seb, I was just finishing writing my Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech. Jesus, yes, I was asleep. It's fucking three AM."

My best friend, Sebastian, stood there with a huge smirk on his face. "Oh good, so I can come in."

As he shoved past me I snorted, "sure, come on in. Not like I was going to go back to bed."

He plopped himself down on my couch and sighed. He didn't say anything about why he was here so damn early or-. His voice interrupted my inner monologue.

"So, you're probably wondering why I'm here?" He licked his lips, a nervous tick I've come to know oh so well.

I threw myself onto the space beside him, curling into his side. "It crossed my mind."

He huffed, "well, my dear friend. Sam broke up with me and kicked me out, so ..." His voice trailed off.

I shot up, my fully awake now from the sudden news. "I'm sorry, she what?"

He nodded again, rubbing his hands on his jeans nervously. "Broke up with me. As in dumped, as in 'get the fuck out of my apartment'. I believe that's how she worded it."

My jaw went slack. Samantha and Sebastian had been together since freshman year of college. Always together, basically molded together at the hip. "Seb, that su-."

He blew out a breath. "Sucks? Yeah, tell me about it." He cleared his throat, clearly fighting emotions. "So, am I okay to crash here?"

I made a face. "Jesus, did you even have to ask, Sebastian? Of course."

He winked, shot up and bolted down my hallway. "I call dibs on the bedroom."

"Like hell you do!" I shouted half angry half kidding .. I think.

I walk into my bedroom, where my queen sized bed is being fully occupied by a mid-thirty year old puppy. "Sebastian, come ooooon."  He laid flat on his stomach, his face mushed into the pillows, shaking his head violently. I heard a noise, which I'm suspecting was a response of some sort. "What?"

He sat up only few inches so he could speak. "No."

"Fuck you, all that for a no?" I jumped onto my bed and climbed over his clothed body. "I'm sleeping here and you're more than welcome to stay but get under the covers. And stay dressed."

He laughed, crawling off the bed. "I don't sleep dressed."

"Ass naked? I can see why Sam broke up with you."

His face dropped, "(Y/N)..."

I chewed my cheek, "sorry. Too soon. Get in the bed and make me warm, please." Climbing off the bed, he clapped his hands together, bowing and swan diving onto the bed. He chuckled, crawling under the covers and snuggling close to me. "I'm glad you kept your underwear on."

He laughed, whispering into my ear. "Oh, honey, it's only early."

Waking up to someone in my bed was strange to say the least, but to find this someone stretched out completely, his legs swung over me and his body contorted into a impossible position, that was stranger. I tried switching positions, at least rolling over onto my side or to free my arm that was throbbing from being caught in the same position. Craning my neck to glance at the clock, the bright red numbers shining saying it was shortly after nine in the morning. "Saturday."

"Hmm?" Sebastian flipped over onto his stomach freeing me momentarily. His arms curled around my body, pulling me close into his very hot figure.

"Oh my god, you're hot."

He smirked, his eyes still closed. "Why thank you."

"Dammit, Seb. I mean, your skin, the temperature is fucking boiling." I pushed away from him but with no avail. "Seb! Let me go."

He shook his head, "you're warm." His voice whined like a three year old.

"Sebastian, I'm going to suffocate simply from being in your vicinity." I rolled away but his arms curled tighter. I sighed, realizing there was only one way to get free. He hated when I did this but he left me no choice. I reached my hand behind him, feeling around for his hip bone and tickled him.

"Ah!" He sprang out of bed, tripping over his clothes. "What the hell?"

I stood up, my shorts now on the floor and my tank top rolled up under my breasts. "You wouldn't let me go, Sebastian."

He gave me a smug look. "So your only solution was to tickle me? You know I hate that."

I nodded, once. "Yes, that's exactly why I did it. God, you're so clingy when you sleep."

He huffed, "speak for yourself. God, you're arms were all over me throughout the night."

I rolled my eyes, fixing my clothes but I caught his eyes following my every movement, making my stomach do a flip. What the hell? "Probably because I was trying to escape your death grip."

He mocked my eye rolling and running a hand through his hair. "I'm gonna shower." He walked a few steps when he turned. "Is my stuf-."

"Yes, you're stuff is still here from last time you got locked out. It's under the sink in a pink basket."

He winked at me and blew me a kiss. "That's why you're my best friend."

When his form disappeared I sighed. "That's me, the best friend."

Twenty minutes later, Seb entered the kitchen with a fresh pair of pants on and a sweatshirt hanging from his shoulders, his hair dripping wet. "Breakfast?"

I nodded to the table where I had laid out eggs, bacon, toast and a cup of coffee. "One sugar and three milk."

He sighed, "God, you're the best."

I nodded. "So, I have today off but I was planning on doing some errands. I didn't know if you had to work today or-."

He shook his head, "notta for me, my love."

I took a long sip of my coffee. "So, you wanna hang out here while I'm out?"

He shook his head again, his wet hair sticking to his forehead. "I got some stuff I should pick up so I can just tag along with you."

I chewed my lip. "Right, because shopping out in public with Sebastian Stan should be a walk in the park."

He shrugged, stuffing his mouth full of toast. "You'll be fine. I'll wear a cap."

Apparently he thought the cap was going to hide his identity from everyone in New York, well, he was fucking wrong. Every person we passed by either looked up at him, asked him for a photo or screamed/peed themselves. Once we escaped the madness called 'fangirls', I whispered to him. "Well, you were fucking wrong."

He rolled his eyes, sipping his second Starbucks of the day. "Whatever, the cap use to work. It's just because you're here."

"Oh, cause I'm some big time celeb." I mocked, tossing my (y/h/c) hair over my shoulder.

He shook his head, "no." He watched me from the corner of his eye. "You're just beautiful."

"Fuck off." I laughed, tossing my hair again.

He shrugged, "fine don't believe me."

"Okay, I won't." I cleared my throat. "So, I have to go to the drug store for some stuff. You wanna come with or no?"

He shrugged, "I'll tag with."

Buying tampons in front of him shouldn't be weird, right? "Okay, off we go."

"Why are there three hundred different kinds? I mean, they all do the same thing, you know?" Sebastian shook his head, eyeing the multiple brands on tampons on the shelf.

"Yeah, Seb, I do know." I scanned the aisle looking for my usual brand. "Dammit, none here."

"Can't you just get, I don't know, this brand?" He pointed out the cheap, cardboard ones.

"If I wanted to rip a hole in the side of my cervix, sure."

"That's a thing?" His ocean eyes grew wide.

I shrugged. "I don't know, maybe. I've never used them myself but I've read horror stories."

"Serious?" He was already pulling out his phone, the google app up. "I can't find anything about that."

"No shit Sherlock, because it ain't real. But they are hella uncomfortable." I winked at him.

He rolled his eyes and slid his phone back into his pocket. "Oh and the actual tampon isn't right, of course, girl logic."

I selected another brand I had used before that didn't feel like it was tearing me in half. "Okay, these will have to do."

He smirked, "good, now onto my errand."

Two aisles down, we stopped in front of the condoms. "Condoms?"

He nodded, "yep."

"Seb, you and Sam just broke up. You sure you wanna be getting action before mending your heart?"

He shot me a glance, "these are for you."

I choked on my spit. "What?"

He nodded again. "These are for you. We are going out tonight to a club my buddy owns and we are getting you some action."

"No we fucking ain't." I scoffed.

His voice raised to my octave, mocking me. "Yes we fucking are."

Three stores later, a stop at a sushi bar and a brand new set of shoes later, we stumble into my apartment carrying arm loads of stuff. "Sebastian, I did not need to get this stuff. I literally went out for tampons."

He shrugged, dropping the bags on the table. "I wanted to pay you back for letting me crash here."

He scoffed, "you don't need to pay me back for anything. You're my best friend, that's what I'm here for."

He rolled his eyes, "just accept the damn gifts, would you?"

"Fine." I grabbed the clothing bags and dragged them to my bedroom, flinging them onto the bed before shutting the door behind me. "You hungry?"

He shook his head, "nah. I have to make a few calls and shoot off a couple of emails though."

I nodded, "consider the hint gotten. I'll be in my room."

He made a face as he dialed a number. "What?"

"You obviously want me out of the room so I'll crash in bedroom until you are finished."

He waved his hand through the air. "Stop acting like a sixteen year old hermit and stay in the room. I'll just be a few minutes."

I flicked on the TV and he shook his head. Okay, so no TV. I turned on the radio a little way. Again, he said no. No fucking radio either. I grabbed a magazine off the table and he gave me a thumbs up. He wants me to stay out here but be completely silent? It was like I was living back home again. "I'm gonna take a shower."

He nodded as someone picked up the other end. "Hey, Ralph!" His voice fainted as I neared the bathroom.

I fell asleep between having a shower and getting changed because the next thing I know, Sebastian is banging on my bedroom door and I'm laying in bed with just underwear and a tank top on. "What?"

He flung open the door, his eyes covered with his hand. "You dressed?"

I shrugged, "enough."

He peeked through the cracks, seeing my less than dressed body. "Not enough."

"Oh Sebastian, stop being a fucking child. I have clothing on."

He shook his head. "No. You have lacy red underwear on and practically a see-through shirt. Not clothing."

"Fine." I huff out as I slip on his jogging pants and a shirt. "Better?"

He shrugged, "I guess so but next time, use your own damn clothing."

"Next time, how about you use your own damn shower?"

"Touche. Now, what are you gonna wear tonight?"

I scanned my hand down my body. "This. Because I'm not going to some lame ass club."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, you are and it's not lame."

God, he was stubborn. "No, I'm not."

He placed a hand on his hip, jotting it out. "Fuck, (Y/N), get the cute ass of yours into one of those damn dresses."

Cute ass? "What if I don't wanna?" I cocked a brow.

He chewed his lip, shaking his slow. "I'll have to dress you myself then." He threw the navy blue dress at me as he spoke. "Put the damn dress on."

After I dressed myself and done my hair, I walked into the kitchen to find his wearing a pair of black jeans, a black polka dot shirt with his new leather jacket on top. "You clean up well."

He drew his eyes away from his phone and did a double take at me. His eyes grew wide and he smiled. "Beautiful."

I rolled my eyes, twirling like a senior at her high school prom. "Thank you, Mr. Stan."

He pointed a finger up. "Now! To the party."

@221bshrlocked

[redsky123love]

Story: Why do you have a Stripper Pole in your Room? Chapter 6- Why is the pole sticky and where is Nat?

"OH GOD, I FEEL SICK!" Ladybug shouted as she hits the ground. Just as Marinette was about to hit her deathbed, Tikki regains some little strength to power up the miraculous to 0.01 percent of battery. Allowing Marinette to transform and turn back into Ladybug before he body collided with the ground. In her hands was the gas tube that she had ripped from the Rocket. Now, standing a building in some sort of ally, she slowly makes her way back to the military HQ. And once there, she hands the toxic fumes to the now awaken men who protected her country...somewhat. Once that was done, she didn't even bother to go back to school. She went straight home, and once there, she was greeted by four happy teens.

"SURPRISE!" Her four comrades shouted. She was about to turn around and jump out of the window, but was stopped when Tikki sainted. Changing her into Marinette once again.

"Oh goddamit Tikki." Marinette growled before crossing her arms. She then looks at the smiling three, turtle-boy didn't even agree to be here before getting dragged, teammates that were staring down at her. Before anyone said anything, she puts her hand up to them...before swinging it across the three's faces.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!?" She shouted at the top of her lungs. The three teens were lying on the floor with red spots on their cheeks. Carapace sat on the floor with his hands in the air. He didn't want to get punched or slapped again by her. Once everyone was on the ground, Marinette opened her mouth to say:

"The feeling right now...can not describe what I am going to do to each and every one of you." Marinette growled.

"What are you gonna do?" Rena asked.

"Oh, something that will not only make you regret going on this manhunt to learn of my identity...but Oooh...nrgh!" Marinette growled at the four before turning around to look at a wall. She takes a deep breath before watching her room shines bright filled with multiple colors. Turning around, she see's her friends in her room. A second later her eye's match when Adrien. And no, not the real person Adrien, the picture of Adrien by her computer. It was at that second, Marinette lost all sense.

"GET OUT!" Marinette shouted before pushing all four of the teens out the window. No literally, she opened a window and pushed each and every one of them out of it. Luckily, they landed right into a large trash can that had. It was funny to her because she didn't care less if they were all right or not, what she cared for is that if Adrien saw the pictures. And to that...

(The four teens)

"Looks like Marinette all mine." Adrien purred as he removes a banana peel from his head. He and the other's were cleaning themselfs off when he said this. Chloe looks over at him and growled.

"That's not fair, Ladybug and I deserve each other!" Chloe shouted at the blonde. "I called dibs first!"

"DIP!? Bitch we have been fighting for a year together!" Adrien growled. "And tomorrow I will proclaim my love for her and we will live happily ever after!"

"Over my dead body!" Chloe shouted. Alya was enjoying the view of the two blondes as Nino cleans off his glasses, ignoring his teammates.

"If you wish." Adrien said...or morally hissed. Chloe squints her eyes a bit at him as Adrien does the same. Nino, when he finishes his glasses, looks over to the two and says:

"This will be so bad."

(Agreste Mansion)

"Nat, I am home! Where are you!?" Adrien shouted as he entered his home. Normally he would be greeted by Nat, but today he wasn't which made him worry.

"NAT!?" Adrien shouted, this time with more concern in his voice.

"Son! We need to talk!" Gabriel shouted from his office. Adrien eyes looked into the direction of his father's office and thought three things:

1: He was in major trouble

2: He has a photo shoot

3: He finally killed Nat after learning she's been feeding him off his diet.

"Oh shit..." Adrien muttered as he searches for evidence of Nat's murder while forming a plan to escape the area.

"ADRIEN GET IN MY OFFICE!" Gabriel shouted. In haste, Adrien grabs a pen from his bookbag, he then sticks it in his pocket before heading upstairs. Once he was inside the office, he saw papers on the floor, broken statues and other things on the ground. His father was pissed, and he was hoping it wasn't because of him.

"Please tell me he didn't go into my closet." Adrien thought as he remembers the shrine he created for her. Taking a seat in front of his father, his green eye's watches the older male walk side to side.

"So where is Nat?" Adrien asked his father.

"She quit." Gabriel muttered. Adrien stopped what he was doing and looked at his father.

"What?" Adrien asked.

"Tomorrow I will be looking for a new assistant." Gabriel said, making Adrien walk over to his father. He places his hands on the table and said:

"Please get Nat back." Adrien said in a calming yet threatening voice. Gabriel looks over to his son as if he had lost his mind.

"What?" Gabriel asked.

"Dad…I want you to listen to every word I am about to say." Adrien started with his sweet innocent smile. "I love you, to the deepest pit of my soul. But I am also scared of you."

"I'm scared of you to son." Gabriel said with a small hint of worry. Adrien had this small...little disturbing side that was rarely seen. But sometimes it would pop out and scared people. This is one of those moments.

"I know, but I am scared that you will one become so obsessed with me, that you would turn me into a doll like that crazy character from mad father."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"You threaten to lock me in the house because I refuse to shave a mustache I was growing." Adrien said, remember the day he was forced to shave off a small stepping stone for man. Just cause his dad wanted him to look cute in already photoshopped pictured.

"I admit, I went too far that day." Gabriel said in shame as he remembers turning on the high top security on that made the house a fortress. Just to keep Adrien in so that he wouldn't escape as he chased him around the house with a knife. No, an actual knife, Nat, being smart and also prepared, gave Gabriel her shaver.

"Which is why I want Nat back." Adrien said. "Let's be honest, our life's won't be the same without her. She's seen to much shit to even flinch at HALF the crap we do here."

"We are normal." Gabriel growled.

"Dad you threw away my TV because you thought it was teaching me to rebel against you." Adrien said.

"It was."

"I only had access to one channel...Disney!"

"The point is, she quit and we need a new assistant." Gabriel said.

"Dad, whatever you did, just apologise and get her back." Adrien said, making his father look at him with a confused expression.

"What makes you think I made her quit!?" Gabriel shouted in anger, but this didn't faze his son.

"I don't know, maybe its because your sort of a jerk since mom died!" Adrien growled. (Okay, I know she's just missing, but for shipping reasons, I just kill her off)

"This is the worst moment I've had with you since that time you confused that bag in America, LBS is pounds in America Adrien!"

"LBS for pounds, more like a Lot of BullShit is what it should stand for." Adrien growled at his father.

"Adrien...go to your room." Gabriel growled at his son.

"Promise me you'll get Nat back?" Adrien asked.

"No." Gabriel growled.

"I want Nat!" Adrien growled at his father.

"Adrien just go to your room." Gabriel growled, making the blonde male roll his eyes. Standing up, he makes his way out the office. Once inside his room, he walks over to the pole and begins to twirl his body around the pole.

"Nat's gone..." Adrien thought as he spins. Plagg flies out of his pocket and watches the young man just circle the pole "Why is this thing so sticky?"

"So you don't remember that night?" Plagg asked as he points to the hole in the wall that was being covered by a toy chest. It took Adrien a while, but he finally remembered why the metal pole was sticking. When he remembered, he removes his hands from the pole while his face scrunched.

"NAT! GET THE CLOROX!" Adrien shouted. Only to be greeted by the long silence of no Nat. It took him a while to nod his head and realize:

"Right..." He said before leaving his room in shame.

[rogue-rook]

some highlights from Story and Song from an all-caught-up-now TAZ listener (spoilers abound)

hot damn yall

i gotta feeling everybody’s coming back for this finale

oh god taako just realized he found his sister’s fucking SKELETAL REMAINS

griffin: “taako and merle, make a dexterity saving throw" justin: “hell yeah, dungeons and dragons is back!” griffin: “we’re back and we’re rolling dice that have 20 sides on them. it’s got 20 sides and 20 numbers, its great”

griffin: “the third figure is a fucking rhinoceros” magnus: “DIBS!”

the fact that angus is an 11 year old child and totally DOWN TO FIGHT just reinforces that i was right to make him my favorite npc

hell yeah we’re back to DND fights! they like rolled for initiative and everything

justin, after talking about taako’s leveling up: “should i talk slower so everybody who’s been complaining about us not playing dnd has time to nut. how’s everyone enjoying this GREAT COMPELLING AUDIO”

griffin: “this hand is gonna attack you, taako, cuz you just set it on fire”

magnus: “i jump on the back of the rhinoceros” griffin: “of COURSE you do”

taako: "hey magnus that was the coolest thing ive ever seen…HANDS DOWN!“ get it cuz they found a giant magical hand…GETIT?!

ango used the umbra staff to cast a fireball way above what ango should be able to do and im like hot damn i love this fucking umbrella

taako: “i snap the umbra staff over my knee” HOLY SHIT YALL!! ITS HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LUP LUP LUP LUP ITS LUP ITS LUP ITS MY DAUGHTER SHE’S HERRREEEEEEE

“lup grits her teeth and says ‘I’m going to fucking kill you now’“ MY GIRL!!!!! THATS MY GIRL!!!”

PHANTASMAL AND RESPLENDENT

“YOU’RE DATING THE GRIM REAPER???” I LOVE HER SO GODDAMN MUCH

lup: “why didn’t you let me out sooner, dingus?” taako: “i didn’t remember you existed, goofus” THEY’RE SO ADORABLE

taako: “don’t worry, I’ve got MAGIC POWERS” magnus: “is that supposed to be a big reveal?”

the love between magnus and fisher is one of my favorite bonds of this whole show

everyone banding together to fight the big bad is one of my favorite tropes ever (what’s up pacific rim) so that everyone is doing that here is INCREDIBLE

magnus: “i use my levitation magic” griffin: “oh im sorry, did you say you take the elevator? the skype call broke up for a second there”

griffin: “magnus, something falls from the sky” magnus: “i catch it” griffin: “no you don’t, it’s pretty big”

i’m so glad that griffin is committed to calling killian, carey fangbattle, and noelle “Team Sweet Flipz”

lup: “here’s my idea, are you ready for it? it’s a banger”

griffin: “you remember that, taako, because your memory’s so good!”

griffin: “its upsy, your lifting friend” wait what. im sorry, what?????????

oh its lucas okay, cool. that moment got wayyyy too much Gravitas for it just to be the worst brand mascot EVER

YOOOOOO istus’s gift to taako, the item he could retrieve when he needed it most, has RETURNED TO THE STORY AND IM SO EXCITED BY THAT!!!

wait wait. is this RANDO the “man wreathed in flame”? THIS LITERAL RANDO??? THIS LITERAL RANDOM CHARACTER GRIFFIN HAS JUST INTRODUCED TO US NOW????

griffin has really genuinely lost track of the correct timeline of the events of this story and im like shit my dude, you and me both. ive only got most of it down

this john motherfucker is like almost tugging at my heartstrings but also im the embodiment of “cool motive still murder” bc im pretty sure this dude’s to blame

clint doesn’t remember jack shit about merle’s kids right now and in context, its like merle doesn’t even know how old his kids are. that’s BAD

griffin: “although this bear is in like Furious Nonsensical Monster Mode, you see, just faintly, you see it retract its claws as if to say ‘alright motherfucker, lets wrestle’”

magnus: “they’re not strong enough, I have to be” damn, talk about a Magnus Burnsides Thesis Statement

the fact that magnus is refusing to kill this monster mode Power Bear even though it’s being controlled by an eldritch nightmare is like. proof that magnus has a goddamn heart of gold. what a hero

magnus finds it in him to ask for help and avi comes crashing through the walls like “sup dude, need some help from Captain Handsome Hero?”

“no dogs on the moon!” AAHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT

taako: “i don’t know what tacos are. I’ve gotten hints, if you wanna call them taco prophecies. that’s a crazy thing to say out loud, but I just said it, so here we are, I guess, I’m talking at you through a frying pan, try to keep up Joaquin”

taako: “I’ll take one taco, extra destiny”

taako: “yeah, like I’m going to let myself be seen being taught how to cook anything, nice try”

taako: “so, a toast” joaquin: “no, its a taco….just a little food joke” taako: “very little”

istus: “huh, didn’t see that one coming” griffin: “across two universes, two food trucks explode” damn griffin

joaquin: “EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE OKAY! I’VE GOT MAGIC POWERS!” DAMN! THAT’S A GOOD FUNNY PARALLEL

griffin: “kneeling at the center of town, is kravitz” OH GOOD! NOW WE’RE COOKING! NOW WE’VE GOT THE GOOD SHIT GOING!

i just gotta mention here that I love eldritch nightmares and cthulu-esque monsters, so this story’s eldritch nightmare that consumes everything in its path contrasted with a slowly-more-corrupted human avatar is MY JAM

merle: “i cast zone of truth!” travis: “TO WHAT END??”

griffin: “it is the most powerful holy spell you have ever cast” THAT’S A GOOD FINALE CALLBACK!!!!

HURLEY! AND SLOANE!!! THEY’RE BACK AND THEY’RE DRYADS!!!!!! THAT’S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!! GRIFFIN!!! YOU BROUGHT THEM BACK!!!!!!!!!

griffin: “she turns back to lucas’s lab and she says ‘hero time’” NOELLE!!!!! NOELLE THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!

THIS TAAKO/KRAVITZ KISS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!! THEY’RE KISSING!!!! I LOVE THEM!!

kravitz: “i wanna warm up my face so it’s not weird” AWWWWW

THEY’RE SO IN LOVE! I LOVE THEM! THIS EPISODE IS SO GAY

lup: “what’s up ghost rider?” kravitz: “you know we’re going to have to talk about the fact that your sister’s a lich, right?” taako: “yeah…i assumed”

lup: “taako just summoned all the energy in our reality to come help us fight” magnus: “mmhmm. I fought a bear…when I say it like that, it doesn’t sound as good, does it?”

davenport: “lup did you find the starblaster?” lup: “oh i sorta… forgot we were supposed to be doing that”

taako: “we have basically been trolling it for 100 years..[..]..and i don’t know about you, but TAAKO’S GOOD OUT HERE”

lup: “lucretia, dear, I’ve already forgotten about the whole thing. OH! OH! bad choice of words!” lup you adorable asshole

lup: “please don’t die” taako: “i’d say the same but that ship done sailed, hasn’t it?”

MAGNUS GAVE ANGUS HIS KNIFE!!!!! THAT SHIT IS SOO GOOD!!!!!!!

taako: “i walk over to angus and say ‘hey cool knife, you know he’s got a sword that’s on fire, right? he did just give you a KNIFE’”

lup: “hear that, babe? we’re legends”

“there’s magic in a bard’s song” OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

“YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT! AND YOU’RE GOING TO WIN!”

magnus: “this is it? it’s just a guy!” taako: “yeah it’s one guy, shouldn’t be a problem”

clint: “you heal up to 700 hit points!” griffin: “BULLSHIT! WHAT???” clint: “divided evenly” justin: “okay well but you don’t have any 9th level spell slots…” clint: “then I will use Mathias the Living Grimoire!” awesome I’m so glad clint learned how to actually properly play dnd on this LAST EP

griffin: “I will say, you’re on a ship, there’s probably a mast or something for you to swing down from” wait what this is an actual ship??? i was picturing like the entreprise or something

griffin: “we’re playing a little calvinball with the design of the starblaster” oh okay cool yeah its like a spaceship, not a fucking 17th century pirate ship

my dudes you never leave your weapons buried in the dying bodies of your enemies bc if they bounce back, they got your weapon now

griffin: “john is up first” justin: “fuck” clint: “he’s still just john? he’s not Demi-john????” travis: “final john” more cross-mcelroy-product jokes!!!!

the grubby heroes healed by godly love, i bet some people are feeling some Stuff right now

taako: “hey i want everyone to meet a new friend of mine, this is Joaquin” griffin: “OH FUCK! YES YES YES YES!!!”

joaquin: “thanks for the wizard powers, I’ve killed like a hundred of these things!”

griffin: “oh fuck I thought you were going to summon ME!!!”

hot damn clint REMEMBERED his gift from istus and fucking used it!!!!!!!!!

taako used the immovable rod!!!!! im so proud of them for remembering AND using all their items!!!!

taako: “i gotta be with lup” oh that’s so fucking sweet

angus: “hey everybody, johann was right! WE WON!” cool im crying a little bit, no big deal

LUP GOT HER BODY BACK! LUP GOT HER BODY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

griffin: “how does magnus die?” hey fuck off griffy i don’t want this

magnus being reunited with julia is making me cry significantly now

they got their happy endings, everybody got their happy endings, and I’m so happy

I am SO glad and grateful I got caught up in time for this fucking heartwrenching sweet finale

[justeverythingprettymuch]

High School AUs (based on real experiences I’ve had) pt. 1

I know no one asked for this, but I kind of wanna share these wild rides with someone, so here goes lol

(Part 2)

1. I was waiting to get picked up after staying at school for a Shakespeare lecture, and you were waiting to get picked up after band practice. A dog suddenly ran past us in the parking lot, so we debated whether or not we should tell anyone. 2. I saw you getting really uncomfortable because of Creepy Tom not leaving you alone, so I swooped in and pretended I needed you for an emergency. 3. We tutor freshman in the same time slot every week, so we always go together to pick up the students from their classes and sometimes end up just talking shit with them instead of doing any work.

4. Your best friend and my best friend used to date, and they only broke up really recently, so they still kind of have feelings for each other. We end up joining them when your best friend is trying to win mine back, so we spend about an hour sharing exasperated looks.

5. We've known each other for three years and you stop by every day to steal my pretzels since I never eat them, and one day I forget to pack them and you get super offended. You end up dragging me to the store so you can buy pretzels for yourself and gummy worms for me.

6. We have a free period at the same time, but none of our other friends do, so we usually spend it together talking shit or having weirdly deep and philosophical debates.

7. Your birthday is the same night as prom night, so you throw a huge after party at your house since your parents won't be home. I get there later since I wanted to go home and actually have a shower first, so when I walk in most of the people have calmed down a little. I find you on the couch watching a basketball game while eating a giant bowl of ice cream. Are you okay??? Aren't you meant to be getting hammered like everyone else??

8. Your birthday is the day after prom night and when we go to the after party, you get wasted and make me promise to buy you gummy lollies for your birthday. Now, every year, I turn up at your door with a giant bag of gummy lollies and people think I'm really weird, but you always get super excited.

9. We're at a party and you're so wasted you keep forgetting that we've already met, so you keep coming up to me just to tell me that I'm really pretty.

10. You were really drunk at a party and kept telling me I'm really pretty, but now it's Monday and we're in the same physics class and I don't think you remember.

11. We went out drinking with some friends, but you found out that most of us had nowhere to stay the night, so you offered to let us sleep on your pull-out bed. In the morning, you're walking around in a robe and flip-flops, and as I give you a goodbye hug, you whisper "I'm not wearing anything under this."

12. I have to leave your house really early after a night of partying because I have to go have breakfast with my mother. My make up hasn't smudged, my hair isn't a mess and I brought a change of clothes. You keep giving me weird looks until you eventually just ask; "How do you still look perfectly fine????"

13. I'm staying over at your house for the night, but we've been roaming around the city with our friends all night and we were drinking at the park. When we finally sneak back into your place, it's 4:30 in the morning and we have to get up at 6 so that you can get ready for work. You text me later saying you were still drunk for most of your shift, but you got lots of tips, so you don't think it was a problem.

14. We got really bummed out at a party, so we spent a large portion of the night lying down in the middle of the street just staring up at the stars and talking about life.

15. I walked into your house and found you in a kimono while slow dancing to old rock songs. I'm a little embarrassed to say it isn't even the weirdest thing I've seen you do.

16. Your best friend's been trying to drunkenly teach me about cars over a slice of pizza for the last hour, but I can't understand what he's even saying, so you save me by forcing me to dance with you.

17. We both got really drunk at a friend's birthday party, but I'm the first one to wake up in the morning. When I look around, I'm lying on the floor next to you, while you're hugging a giant '1' balloon, which you've apparently dubbed 'Janine'.

18. Neither of us wanted to be in a stuffy room all night, so we went outside and made a hobo fire in the park. I'm pretty sure someone's called the cops, but you're really warm, so I don't really care.

19. We've been acquaintances for years, but for some reason, we both keep getting dropped off really early this year, so we've made a habit of hanging out in the locker bay before school. We just kinda sit against the wall and talk shit until a teacher comes in to shush us.

20. It's the middle of the night and I heard you knocking on my window, but I'm not wearing anything other than an oversized t-shirt, so I kind of panic for a few minutes. When I finally pull on some pants and open the window, you liteRALLY JUST PICK ME UP AND PULL ME OUTSIDE because you want to go for a walk.

21. There's this guy who lives down the road from us and he's been an asshole to us for the last week, so you decide we need to exact revenge. You know where his bedroom window is, so we start knocking on his window and then running away repeatedly, until eventually he and his dad come outside to yell at us, but we're already halfway down the road.

22. You're the most intimidating guy in our year and there's this creepy guy who won't stop trying to get me to go out with him, so one day you just come up to me and call “Dibs” REALLY loudly while we're in the library. I want to yell at you about how totally fucked up that is, but then the creepy guy is coming over to yell at you because apparently “He saw me first”, so you deck him and say “Woman aren't property.” I don't know whether to hit you for the hypocrisy, or to applaud you.

23. You're the most intimidating guy in our year and everyone knows you've already got tattoos, even though you're BARELY a junior. Everyone assumes it's some kind of gang tattoo, but you show me one day and it's actually just tattoos of Poseidon and Aphrodite. You then tell me that they represent your parents because your father has always loved teaching you about the ocean and how to fish and he's the strongest man you know, and because you're mother is the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, and she's also the most confident and powerful. You're such a cute dork, I'm gonna cry.

24. You ask for my help on a project, but I can barely understand your notes, so I have no idea what you even need help with. Do you just wanna see what I wrote so you have an idea of what you're meant to do?

25. You and your roommate recently got a goat, despite barely having a backyard, and you love sharing stories about your goat in our class. One day you walk in and start telling us about how your goat got out of its pen and was wreaking havoc in the neighborhood, and our teacher just pulls up an article on the projector and apparently your goat got into the local news, and you're just laughing SO HARD.

26. We were at a party and you were drunkenly dancing on a wall, but then you slipped off and hit your side on the way down. I try to patch you up, only to find that you've ripped off half the skin on your side and might have broken a couple of ribs??

27. It's literally 3AM and you won't go to sleep until we've had some burger king, so I guess we're going.

28. You live a couple of blocks away from me, and you came to my house for a sleepover, but you left something at yours, so now we have to walk all the way there in the middle of the night while wearing onesies. Also, your parents are home and are super concerned??

29. It was your birthday, but you don't really like having parties, so you just invite me over for a sleepover and we spend the whole night playing horror games. In the morning, one of our other friends come over to make us pancakes, but we're zombies and they don't know how to use your stove, so they don't really come out right.

30. We're at a party and you get into some kind of fist-fight with your best friend. It leads to you falling off the patio, and he ends up laughing so hard he trips over a vodka bottle. You both sprain your ankles and I'm the one that has to fetch the ice and make sure you don't go do anything else that's stupid.

31. I get locked out of my house and it's pouring down outside, so I text you and ask you to come save me because you're the only person I know that lives nearby and has a car.

32. We ditch school after lunch because it's the last day of the year and none of our teachers even care anymore, so we go sit in the park and I make you a flower crown.

33. We joined the human rights club, but the teacher couldn't make it this week, so one of the new guys decides to take over for the day. We're all expecting him to just talk about another human rights case, but he starts yelling about how we should just decapitate everyone and neither of us really know what to do.

34. The teacher who runs the human rights club just brought out a giant box of colourful badges and we start trying to get every colour, but I end up finding the only bronze one.

35. You're my new physics tutor and you're super cute, but my sister keeps calling me and I'm so sorry, but I've really got to take this and find out what's going on.

36. Our friends got into a really stupid and petty fight, but one of them threw the other one's bag over a fence, so now we're all being called into the office to talk about it.

37. We used to date, but now we're just sort of acquaintances and we both wear leather jackets to school, so whenever we see each other we just smirk and say "Nice jacket" as we're passing.

38. My best friend broke up with you while she was really drunk, so you call me in the morning to ask if she was being serious and I kind of don't know how to break it to you that I was the one holding the phone and cheering her on because you're kind of an asshole???

39. We're in the same art class, but we always get permission to sit in the side room away from the rest of the class because our teacher thinks we're the quietest people in his class. In reality we spend the entire hour just shit talking everyone and having huge discussions about issues we're having, so we never actually get any work done.

40. Our section of the art room is usually really quiet, until someone brings up Harry Potter (or some other fandom we're all in), then we're all suddenly debating REALLY loudly and getting mad at anyone who don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

41. We get asked to help out during our school's open evening, but neither of us know what the fuck we're doing, so we spend most of the night just making sarcastic comments as we pass each other, or making "save me" faces at each other. Our teachers think it's hilarious.

42. Our English teacher has been trying to get our class to focus on the next scene in Othello for the last ten minutes, and she almost does it, until you turn to me and ask in complete seriousness "Who the fuck is Cassio?" and I burst out laughing. 

43. Our physics teacher has pretty much given up on our class because it's Friday last period, so literally none of us care anymore. He offers to take us to the park so that we can “learn about rotational motion” on the merry-go-round, but he can't be bothered writing up the health and safety forms, so he just says "Don't die, or I'm failing you for everything."

44. You take food and nutrition, so you've got permanent access to the school kitchen and the coffee machine. After a long day, you text me and ask if I want free food and coffee.

45. I got surrounded by a huge group off people in a really small room and started having a panic attack, so you dragged me outside for fresh air and charmed everyone into leaving me alone, even though I was meant to be answering their questions.

46. For some reason you have a yo-yo, and every time the teacher looks away, you fling it out and make it do the dog-walking trick, until you accidentally fling it too far and hit me in the face.

47. You're the angsty kid that sits alone and glares at everyone, but my friend and I decide to go talk to you and find out you're actually really good on a guitar and like the same music as us.

48. We're in the same French class and sit at the same trio of desks with your best friend. We don't really talk much, until one day you guys are bickering so much that the teacher puts me in the middle and you keep trying to bicker around me.

49. We've somehow become the group that adopt younger kids that don't have anyone else to hang out with, so we're now surrounded by like six younger kids and don't know what to do??

50. You're two years older than me, but we somehow became friends, so we always talk when we get the chance. At the end of the year, right before you graduate, you come up to me and kiss me, then you leave before we can even talk about it.

Okay, so that’s it for now. My life is so weird. If you end up using one of my prompts for a story, I’d love it if you could tag me or send me a link so I could read it??

[october31st1981]

Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me

James Potter to Mrs. Wife: lily can we have another baby?

Lily Potter to Wears Socks to Bed: R u going to text me that every time Harry does something cute?

James Potter: yes

Lily Potter: U know if we got one every time u asked we’d have like 35 babies by now??

James Potter: i’d be okay with that

James Potter: they might give us our own tv programme

James Potter: lil and jim and their kin 

Lily Potter: Ur right what’s the point of having children if not to pimp them out for reality television

Sirius Black to Babe: u know it’s extremely rude to fuck in the house while ur babysitter is downstairs watching ur kid

James Potter to Hot Stuff: i don’t pay u to complain 

Sirius Black: u are literally not paying me

Sirius Black: i am doing this out of love for this little banshee

James Potter: we made u godfather. and u can have dibs if i knock lily up 2nite

Sirius Black: fine but at least play some music or smth christ what are u doing to her?????

Lily Potter to The Other Woman: Quit texting James while we’re fucking 

Lily Potter: Tho he is surprisingly good at multitasking 

Sirius Black to Sugar Tits: only if u make him call u daddy 

Lily Potter: Deal

James Potter to James Has A Daddy Kink: lupin will you look after harry next weekend? sirius is permanently banned from babysitting

Sirius Black: Still godfather m8

James Potter: not anymore remus is godfather now

Peter Pettigrew: am i not on the list??

James Potter: you will get on the list once u stop screaming every time he poos

Peter Pettigrew: fair enough 

Remus Lupin: Can I be godfather when Harry’s like ten? Babies are terrifying

Sirius Black: i will not stand for this betrayal 

Sirius Black changed the chat name to James Wanked To McGonagall For All Of Year 9.

Peter Pettigrew: pretty sure it was longer than year 9 👀👀👀👀

James Potter: it’s not embarrassing if ur not ashamed

Remus Lupin: If you’re gonna text me at work at least leave my colleagues’ names out of the group chat 

Peter Pettigrew: should u b texting while ur teaching?

Remus Lupin: The kids are using their phones to film for a presentation it’s fine probably

Sirius Black: see potter? he’s already showing he’s bad w/ kids he’s gonna let harry on the internet unsupervised

James Potter: harry is 1

Sirius Black: ur never too young 2 start developing abandonment issues 

Remus Lupin changed the chat name to Sirius Wanked to Yugioh in Sixth Form.

Sirius Black: listen here u little shit

James Potter to Ginger Spice: lily look!!!

Lily Potter to Daddy’s Girl: U have sent me 12 pictures of Harry dressed as a penguin in the past 2 minutes

Lily Potter: (((And I have loved every single 1 of them our baby is the cutest?!?!)))

James Potter: i fucking know right

James Potter: legitimately he’s better than other babies

Lily Potter: Our baby could take the Longbottoms baby in a fight

James Potter: our baby could take DUMBLEDORE in a fight

Lily Potter: I mean ur right but

Lily Potter: In what situation would our son be fighting the headmaster of our secondary school

James Potter: idk but he’d fuckin wreck him have u seen how hard he pulls on hair he’d rip that beard right the fuck off

Lily Potter: Tru

Remus Lupin to Jimbo: How did you get i’m a furry to autocorrect to i’m a furry

Remus Lupin: DAMN IT I MEAN I’M A FURRY

James Potter to Dances with Wolves: we’ve all known for a long time remus i’m not here to judge u

Remus Lupin: I���M NOT A FURRY

Remus Lupin: I’M A FURRY

James Potter: u seem to be experiencing some conflicting emotions

Remus Lupin: I’m trying to say I’M S I C K

James Potter: of hiding ur true nature as a furry? we’re sick of ur denial as well mate

Remus Lupin: You are officially disowned 

James Potter: ur not my real dad 

Peter Pettigrew to Remus is a Furry: so are u like a brony or do u dress up as a wolf and sniff people? 

James Potter: the 2nd one definitely 

Sirius Black: idk man i think i saw him eyeing one of harry’s picture books the other day

Sirius Black: does red riding hood get u going

Petter Pettigrew: lmao

Remus Lupin: Potter I’m gonna murder you

James Potter: just try it my son will avenge me 

Sirius Black: oooooo he’s got u remus what r u gonna do fight a baby

Remus Lupin: I will explain to Harry about how his father was a bellend and he will take my side

James Potter: lies. harry will never doubt my honour. just the other day peter sneezed on me and harry bit him

Peter Pettigrew: thought he bit me bc hes teething?

James Potter: irrelevant 

James Potter to Never Furget: remus did u change all my profile pics to screencaps from bambi

Remus Lupin to Jimmy Neutron: Why do you ask?

James Potter: bc everyone is commenting on them but i can’t see them or take them down what did u do

Remus Lupin: Maybe the universe did this to you James

Remus Lupin: The world is trying to tell you who the real furry here is

Remus Lupin to Jimothy: Did you buy me a fucking bunny?

James Potter to Froot Lupes: remus i know ur new to pet ownership but bunnies aren’t for fucking

Remus Lupin: James. Why did someone deliver a rabbit to my house

James Potter: i thought u could use some company

James Potter: since ur both

Remus Lupin: DO NOT

James Potter: furry

Remus Lupin: I’m moving to Australia

Remus Lupin to James is Not One of Us: Just because I’m keeping the bunny doesn’t mean you’re forgiven

Remus Lupin: It’s for the children. My students have fallen in love with it

Sirius Black: sure ““““ur students””” fell in love with it 

Sirius Black: speaking of children who r u gonna turn to now potter

Sirius Black: if i’m banned from babysitting and u and remus r on the outs

James Potter: pete’s still here 

Peter Pettigrew: yeah im still here

Sirius Black: peter tell me how you change a nappy without looking at wikihow

Peter Pettigrew: um

James Potter: our house has wifi? 

Lily Potter to Bambi: Peter Pettigrew is not babysitting for us ever again

Lily Potter: He flushed a disposable nappy today

Lily Potter: Naked Sunday is canceled 

James Potter to Faline: but it’s the day of our lord lily

James Potter to Boyz II Men: congratulations sirius ur hereby reinstated as godfather 

Sirius Black: good bc i’m thinking of getting a sidecar for my motorbike

James Potter: harry is not allowed on ur motorbike until he is at least 9

Remus Lupin: I think you’re forgetting how Harry got home from the hospital

James Potter: fine. harry is allowed if both lily and i are also on it

Peter Pettigrew: #parenting

Peter Pettigrew: i got fired today btw

James Potter: what? why???

Sirius Black: what did u do

Remus Lupin: Are you alright?

Peter Pettigrew: im fine 

Peter Pettigrew: director was just looking for “something else”

Sirius Black: that’s shit

James Potter: sorry pete 

Remus Lupin: Is there anything we can do to help?

Peter Pettigrew: idk maybe we could just hang out and talk?

James Potter: sure we can do that 

Sirius Black: i’m not good w/ emotional intimacy

Sirius Black: how do u feel abt alcohol?

James Potter to Meri Jaan: i msis u

James Potter: ur os pretty 

Lily Potter to You Are My Soniya: It’s 2am love

James Potter: i kno btu thsi is v importnat

Lily Potter: What is it?

James Potter: i lvoe sirius

Lily Potter: Unbelievable 

James Potter: and u!!11111

James Potter: also im srory if i pee on hte rose bsushes a gain

Sirius Black to Blossom Powerpuff: just so u know we’ve taken james’s phone from him 

Sirius Black: but he says i’ve gotta tell u that ur his favourite wife

Lily Potter to Mojo Jojo: I’m his only wife

Sirius Black: james says ‘irrelevant’ 

James Potter to Heart Eyes: love u’ve gotta stop sexting me while i’m w/ clients

Lily Potter to Poop Emoji: Why’s that?

James Potter: i’m developing some kind of pavlovian response

James Potter: every time i look at a surrealist painting i get an erection

Lily Potter: Paint me like one of ur french abstractions from reality

James Potter: sex fiend 

Lily Potter: U love it 

Remus Lupin to Lil Wayne: You and James need to stop have things delivered to my house

Remus Lupin: I promise you I can feed myself without a 15 year old dropping off a week’s worth of groceries 

Lily Potter to R. Kelly: Bread and chocolate is not a diet Remus

Remus Lupin: It has kept me alive this long 

Lily Potter: Ur lucky we don’t have u move in. James says ur too skinny these days

Remus Lupin: James is built like a broomstick

Lily Potter: ...

Lily Potter: I want to defend him bc he is my husband but.... u right

Remus Lupin: Then will you stop trying to parent me

Lily Potter: Don’t talk back to ur mother Lupin

James Potter to The Lady from the Bee Movie: evans r u wearing my jeans again

Lily Potter to Jerry Seinfield: No

James Potter: ur having a picnic with bathilda in her garden and harry and i are in our sitting room w/ the curtains open i can literally see u

Lily Potter: Maybe these are mine

James Potter: i’m almost a foot taller than u and ur jeans r not that long

Lily Potter: If they r ur jeans what are you going to do about it

James Potter: ur gonna catch these hands

James Potter: in ur own bc i love u

James Potter: but i still want my jeans back

Lily Potter: I want my pre-baby figure back m8

James Potter: touché 

Sirius Black to Cars 2: pete how would u feel abt modeling

Peter Pettigrew to The Lion King: funny 

Peter Pettigrew: hard to get an acting job thats not typecast 

Sirius Black: i’m srs

Sirius Black: i mean. u know what i mean

Peter Petitgrew: modelings fine. i’ve done some hand stuff

Sirius Black: sometimes when reg can’t make a job his agency will offer it to me

Sirius Black: and i told them i wouldn’t do it unless i could bring a friend

Peter Pettigrew: thanks... u didnt have to do that

Sirius Black: don’t make it weird peter just take the job 

Sirius Black to Peter Does Hand Stuff: i’m handsome right

Sirius Black: like i am good looking

James Potter: tru

Remus Lupin: yeah

Sirius Black: then how did i get kicked off a photoshoot so they could take more pictures of pettigrew

Peter Pettigrew: dorcas said it was bc ur face is too unnatural

Peter Pettigrew: no one looks like that in real life

Sirius Black: i look like this in real life!!!

Peter Pettigrew: anyway dorcas told me they want me to be the face of the whole campaign which is cool

James Potter: that’s fantastic pete!!

Remus Lupin: Congrats Peter!

Sirius Black: i can’t believe u would sell me out

Peter Pettigrew: were all just trying to survive capitalism sirius

Sirius Black: so money is worth more than our friendship

James Potter: sirius u don’t even like modelling

Remus Lupin: Also you don’t need the money, you’ve got your inheritance and your radio work

Sirius Black: i like to know who has a price they can be bought for

Sirius Black: in case one of us ends up murdered

James Potter: walburga really fucked u up huh

Lily Potter to Put A Ring On It: R u on your way home?

James Potter to Crazy In Love: on the tube

James Potter: did u want takeaway again? bc i kno the chinese made u sick the other night so maybe i can just get u soup?

Lily Potter: No I’m fine I just wanted to know when you were coming back

Lily Potter: I have news

James Potter: tell me. the man beside me is cutting his hair and it’s getting on my trousers. i could do with good news

Lily Potter: I’ll tell u when ur home

James Potter: evans u can’t just dangle news in front of me like that and then take it away i demand answers

Lily Potter: It’s in-person news

James Potter: r we getting divorced? is this bc i said prefer 7/11 to formation

Lily Potter: That is definitely grounds for divorce but no

James Potter: lily ur worrying me. is everything ok???

James Potter: i’m gonna call

James Potter: i’m losing service hold on

Lily Potter: James we’re going to have another baby

James Potter: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

James Potter: i love you. i can’t hold u yet so i’m gonna hug the haircut man

Lily Potter: <3 <3 <3

James Potter: i may have just told him we’d name our baby after him how do u feel abt the name christobal

Lily Potter: Hard pass

James Potter: u said that abt me once and now i’ve impregnated u twice so i’m gonna tell him maybe

Lily Potter changed the chat name to Sirius Has Dibs.

Sirius Black: r u hitting on me evans

Sirius Black: u do realize ur husband is also on this chat. i mean i’m up for a menage a potter but what will we tell harry 

Peter Pettigrew: james’s parents like adopted u this is definitely some kind of incest

Sirius Black: “Definitely Some Kind of Incest” is the black family motto

Remus Lupin: Tbh I’m surprised you don’t have a tail

Sirius Black: how do u kno that i don’t u don’t kno my life

Lily Potter: It’s good 2 know our children will have positive role models

James Potter: it’s too late for harry we’ll just have to get better friends with this one

Peter Pettigrew: ????????

Sirius Black: ur not

Sirius Black: U ARE

Remus Lupin: Congratulations?!

Sirius Black: UR HAVING A FETUS

Peter Pettigrew: BLIMEY CONGRATS

Remus Lupin: Wasn’t Harry born literally yesterday? You guys are like rabbits

Sirius Black: i can’t believe evans is ““in trouble”” again this is wild i bet it’s bc euphemia used all those metaphors while giving u the sex talk

James Potter: papa don’t preach

Sirius Black: i love it when u call me papa

Sirius Black: wait do i have dibs bc of.... u guys r disgusting 

Lily Potter: Does that mean u don’t want dibs?

Sirius Black: NO I HAVE DIBS ON ALL POTTER CHILDREN NOW AND FOREVER THEY’RE GONNA BE MY ARMY TO FIGHT REMUS’S SECONDARY SCHOOL KIDS

Remus Lupin: I can’t in good conscience send eleven-year-olds to war but on the other hand you’re on

Peter Pettigrew: £5 on the fetus 

Lily Potter: £1000 on the fetus Potter Progeny United

James Potter: this is why i married u 

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #229

“Nks Crystals, Splender and Stevenson Visit Kore”

-Two days later.-

[Doc] is feeling mostly recovered and goes to visit Splender. Xe goes to hit the path switch and gets distracted by a school of little fish using the shallow water

[Pinwheel] Is laying out in the sun in the grass-

[Doc] Notices the little dragon and calls to her softly-

[Pinwheel] Her tail flicks in annoyance-

[Doc] Notices the little flick and is reminded of Grinny. - Not gonna bug you, just saying hi.

[Splender] Hears Doc and sticks his head out- Oh!  Doc!

[Doc] Hey Splender. Nice to see Pinwheel getting some air. She seems much calmer.

[Splender] - I still try to snuggle her at night

[Doc] I think that's probably okay. Yaunfen loves to snuggle. I think they get a little bit cold with all that bare skin.

[Splender] - So what can I do for you Doc?

[Doc] I was going to go visit the subseed and drop off some more supplies for them, I wondered if you wanted to come.

[Splender] - Oooh!  You mean to see the statues?

[Doc] Yes. And I think it should give you a huge energy boost too, they haven't seen you since the fight.

[Splender] - But what about Pinwheel?

[Doc] She seems happy enough. Unless she wants to come? I mean, Deerheart has Yaunfen, I can ask her to come over if you think Pinwheel still needs a babysitter for her nap. She's likely the most lethal thing on this seed anyway.

[Splender] - I don't know...

[Doc] Ask her. You can kind of read minds, can't you?

[Splender] - She just says no...  And our mind reading does use some EMP...

[Doc] Okay, then I guess she's good. I'm not going to argue with her.

[Splender] Gives Pinwheel a quick pet-

[Pinwheel] Hisses-

[Doc] We shouldn't be gone long anyway.

[Splender] - Okay, be good Pinwheel!

[Doc] Nods and starts walking.

[Splender] Happily follows after teleporting over to the shore-

[Doc] Turns to check on him and walks straight into their exeggutor- Oh hey, sorry!

[Exeggutor] Just cocks it's heads and smiles in a goofy way.

[Splender] Pats it's leaves-

[Exeggutor] Electrical happy hum and it falls into step with them-

[Doc] ahhh, mobile shade.

[Splender] Giggles-

[Doc] Pats the pokemon- I think this guy is kinda psychic too. I feel a little bit of pressure on my mind from it sometimes. Like when TLOT is looking for me. So... how's the family?

[Splender] - Rather well, Strangled has apparently refused to leave his room though...  Slender thinks he may be trying to plot revenge against you

[Doc] Sigh- If all he wants to do is kick my ass, he needs to get in line. Mb seems to think he has permenant first dibs. And this NOTCH of mine is a fucking pest.

[Splender] - Your NOTCH?

[Doc] Yeah.... Dn. He's apparently been hanging around outside the server trying to get in since I was made a brine.

[Splender] - Ah...  Maybe he just needs some happy energy!

[Doc] Who knows. His hearts are likely just a big chunk of ice. He freezes everything around him. He gave me whopper of a cold just by creeping on me while I was sleeping.

[Splender] - I'm sorry to hear that...

[Doc] It's whatever. There are worse NOTCH's. He's not deadly, just a dick. Have you seen Lie's? Her's showed up too. He's a kid. Literally.

[Splender] - If you say so...  A KID!?

[Doc] Yeah. A shortie. And bald. No goatee though.

-....CRUNCH...-

[Splender] - Awwwww... What was that?

[Doc] Jumps at the noise.

[Exeggutor] Looks around in concern.

[NK] -Straight up just bit off a piece of shard as he works-

[NK] -hasn't even noticed them. amazing.-

[Doc] Nk? What are you up too? Did you break something?

[Nk] -slight startle, head turning up from what he's working on. Looks like jewelry.- Just making somethin'. Didn't mean to startle if I did.

[Doc] Not at all, that looks pretty. It's a nice day for working outside.

[NK] -carefully twists pieces into place with a nod- Yeah, it is indeed. Decided I needed a change of scenery. -scrutinizes jewelry a bit-

[Doc] Wait, I know that noise! Liz was eating crystals the other day!

[NK] Hmmm?

[Splender] Is transfixed by the sparklies-

[NK] The dragon child?

[Doc] Yeah, she was crunching away on them. She gave me one and it made a decent amount of statick and a bit of lightning too.

[Splender] Moves a tendril to touch one-

[Doc] Actually, have you seen Liz lately? It's probably getting close to time to make her a humanish shape as well, if she wants one of course.

[NK] Ah, I see. -turns head to look at Splender- ... ? -carefully offers jewelry- Do you want it?

[Splender] Happy gasp- YES PLEASE!

[NK] -at Doc-Nah, haven't seen the dragon.

[Doc] Okay, if you run into them, or Mix or Sky, let them know, okay?

[NK] -gives jewelry. It's a simple golden bangle with a shard carefully welded into it- Will do. I know Mix is asleep, but Sky is here and there.

[Splender] Squeals happily as he takes it-

[Doc] That's nice work. Hey, did you make a house yet?

[NK] Yeah, two, technically. One's in the Nether, the other's a bit beyond Mix's over the water.

[Doc] Great! It's nice to see you settling in. You haven't been around much. Mix seemed exhausted last time I saw her and Firebird's been sleeping in my loft.

[NK] -thoughtful look for a moment before casual smile- I see.. It might be that flowery Brine. He's.. He's a handful.

[Doc] I haven't seen him around at all. I though GK was trying to draw him out, but he's been so busy babysitting the little dragons...

[NK] He seems pretty content to stay in that tree, and when he's not, who knows where he is...

[Splender] Happily plays with the jewelry-

[NK] -idly pops a shard out of his inventory and starts manipulating it, watching Splendor-

[Splender] - OOH!  What are you going to make now?

[NK] Not sure yet. Thinking of some kind of... Necklace maybe. Or a really fancy ring.... -twist bit-

[Splender] - I know it will be pretty!

[Doc] It's a shame. I wouldn't mind getting to know him better. You too. Have you remembered anything else?

[NK] Uh..... -curl part around his hand- Hm. No, not that's particularly important?

[Doc] I'm just curious. I mean, if you wanted to shedule a session with one of the brine's thats psychic to see if anything might shake loose, I could make it happen...

[NK] I appreciate the offer, but no thanks. Don't like other people knockin' around in my head.

[Doc] Understood. Just offering. I can imagine how frustrating it must be, and how easy to just lose yourself wandering out there in the dark. It's part of the reason I caved and let those two NOTCHs in....

[Splender] - This is such a pretty shard...

[NK] Is that why the cold one is here? Huh. -pops another shard out and begins weaving the two together- I'm glad you enjoy it.

[Doc] Yeah... that one's my burden to bear...

[Splender] - We can always help you with that burden Doc...

[Exeggutor] Plops down next to Nk and watches him work-

[Doc] How so?

[Splender] - By being there for you!

[NK] I would not hesitate to end it's life. -its said so, cheerily-

[Doc] For right now he's done nothing to deserve being murdered. He's just aggravating the piss out of me. And I'm not sure how the little one would react. We don't have any idea what the extent of their powers are yet either.

[NK] Fair, fair. I atleast gave my other half a chance. -idly crunches part of the shard off-

[Splender] - What do you mean?  Did you have a mate?

[Doc] Yeah. They're not all terrible. Firebird is decent and the ones on the subseed seem okay. Wait, what?

[NK] Hm? -pauses in his next bite, glancing at them-

[Doc] Did you have relations with your NOTCH Nk? That's different...

[NK] ...? What?

[NK] -squint-

[NK] I had nothing but ire for him from the start.

[Doc] And afterwards...?

[NK] ... I blinded him mostly and would have likely ended his pathetic life if he hadn't fled like a coward? - crunch-

[NK] -twists shards into a necklace, eyeing it a bit-

[Doc] Oh... so you lost track of yours? Hmm.

[Splender] - I'm sure we can find him and make everything right!

[NK] Oh no, I knew his location. It was a bit after that fight that Mix... spawned? Came to be? -slight shrug-

[NK] I'm certain he's dead now, or atleast, very, very hurt... -snaps a bit of overlong shard off and nibbles on it-

[Doc] Do you think those events had any relation? That's a weird coincidence.

[NK] Not a clue. Likely? Her powers directly related to the stuff that happened though, so...

[Splender] - We need to find out for sure!  We should go looking for your NOTCH!

[Doc] How odd... You know, brine powers often relate to the powers of the person who hurt them and helped make them what they are.

[NK] I'm afraid I've not heard of that before.

[Doc] It happened hardcore to me...

[NK] The cold one.. I can see that. .. Do you want? -offers the finished necklace to doc-

[Splender] - Was there ever a way to summon your NOTCH?

[Doc] Reaches out for the jewelry and rubs it lightly in their fingers- Thank you, it's lovely. But, No! I mean... the person who broke my hearts, they were... well they had a liquidy form. One of my powers is being able to melt things down into component pixels. His freezing counters that.

[NK] Be a total dick and yelling fight me always worked. But that was just being petty for shits and giggles.

[Doc] Snorts out a laugh - I respect that.

[NK] Yeah. Was entertaining to see how pissed he'd get.

[Doc] So what mellowed you out? You don't seem like the scrappy type.

[NK] Mix. Definitely Mix. Raising a child is enough to mellow out anyone, I think.

[Doc] Perhaps. I know it takes a lot of time and energy. And a minimum of two people to keep them safe and out of trouble.

[Splender] - Not always!  Brother has pretty much kept all the pasta's under control by himself!

[Doc] Well... he has a more discipline-oriented approach. And the child pastas are still kind of adults, in their own ways.

[Splender] Is distracted by a white and green flitter entering the area as it flits above them- Oooh, pretty

[Nk] -he's making another thing, nice-

[Splender] - NK...  Are you sure there's no way to find your NOTCH?

[NK] I mean, considering he's likely dead? Yeah.

[Nk] -crunch-

[Doc] Such is life. Seen any lightfoots around lately?

[Splender] - Well Doc has brought others back from the dead...

[Doc] Stops- I'm not sure I want to make a habit of that Splender!

[NK] Seen a bunch go toward your castle the other day... Don't know why though...

[Doc] Oh great... someone else I've pissed off. I'll likely find all my furnaces empty or something equally aggravating.

[Nk] I'd say everything moved a block to the right, but that's.. a bit extra, even for them. Probably moved things around in chests or something... -crunch-

[NK] .. Hm.... *apply water shard, bend.

[Doc] Well that's no big deal, it's all horribly disorganized anyway.

[Splender] - So what exactly is the relationship between you, Mix, and your NOTCH...

[NK] Hm... I wanted to murder him, she loved us both dearly, I had to try and not kill him. He acted all high and mighty when he could barely see.

[NK] .. The peace was nice.

[Doc] So why did Mix have all those shards in her chest anyway? Do you know?

[NK] .. I.. Huh. I'm as clueless as you on that. Maybe it had to do with when the seed basically self destructed.. Or something. All I remember was.. Well... A lot of pain. *distant expression

[Doc] Why did the seed self-destruct?

[NK] ..... Virus, maybe? It's.. Still fuzzy.

[Doc] Well, your group seems to be clean, things could be worse. Does Mix have gaps in her memory too? Or she just doesn't like to talk about it?

[NK] I know a lot of her earlier childhood is missing... Probably for the best. -crunch- Other than that, I'm not sure. Last I saw her she was full of life and didn't have an enderman and a chicken following her, nor a dragon...

[Doc] She told me Benny just started following them, I don't know where she picked up Sky though. And the dragon, well, Sky carried their egg all over the place until it hatched.

[NK] .. Oh. That's interesting. I'm certain that chicken isn't really a chicken though... Not sure what it really is though..

[Doc] Really? It does seem rather intense...

[Splender] - Well it does seem smarter than most other chickens...

[NK] Yeah. It gives me the heebie jeebies.

[Splender] - Hmmmm, I could try reaching it psychically, but that would probably hurt it...

[Doc] We could always ask TLOT or Cp if you think a more aggressive approach is called for?

[NK] I dunno. It doesn't seem aggressive to her, but it's pretty fighty toward anything else... *shrug

[NK] -has made a diadem with silver and a few shards. actually seems confused how he'd managed to do it-

[Splender] - NK...  What was your NOTCH like?  As in not just towards you, but others as well

[Doc] See now you made me curious.

[NK] I.. Hm... -thoughtful expression as he stows the diadem- I suppose he was stern to his people. I'd say he was downright awful to the ones that weren't testificates though. *scoff

[Doc] Well that's rude as fuck. He didn't even like Steves or Alexes?

[NK] ... *snorts

[NK] -muffles his laughter with his hand-

[NK] -clearly thinking of something-

[NK] I don't think he liked Alexander, but he kind of had to respect him....

[Splender] - What are you laughing about?

[NK] When.. When Mix was still a lil tot, he left her unsupervised.... -snort- and Alexander beat the shit out of him for it-t-tttt... -laughter-

[Nk] -hes just laughing at the memories now-

[SPlender] - Sounds like the first time Jeff had to watch Sally!

[Doc] It seems like your seed was a bit more dangerous for kids then we're used too as well.

[NK] Yeah-- it.. haha... It is...

[NK] I mean, I haven't seen a single dinosaur here beyond the ones I brought...

[Doc] I understand there are mods for that sort of thing, but I'm wary of adding stuff like that to the server itself, it can make it unstable and cause chunk errors. It's less invasive to just bring in the individual items we need. Though there's some circumstantial evidence that something like the lightfoots exsisted on TLOT and Steve's seed once upon a time.

[NK] Yeah, they seemed.. Unsure of what to think of the bone armor. -stretches a bit and makes a few loops of gold-

[NK] Surprised they haven't chosen a chief, yet.

[Doc] Well there's nothing to stop us hunting around on their seed to see if there are any left. Or digging for fossils.  What, the lightfoots usually have a chief?

[NK] Mhmm. Usually. Sometimes there's a diarchy. That was a hell of a time... -distant look- But normally it's a chief. I'm thinking they haven't thought about it since they usually make the ceremonial showy stuff out of feathers and rare materials... Maybe in time...

[Doc] So since I know I pissed them off, should I offer them something in return for a treaty?

[NK] Nah, you're fucked dude. They hold grudges forever. If you can apologize to whoever you wronged you might be good? A good offer is helping them make a home though, they're shitty at building.

[Doc] Greeeaat. I'll keep that in mind. Should I be focused on rounding them up and relocating them?

[NK] Honestly, the Cloud Runners are more forgiving, but they don't tend to forget.... Uh.. It depends on what you want. Help one start building and others'll usually show up.

[Doc] Cloud runners? What are they like?

[NK] Ahhh.. Kind of prideful? ...Very prideful, actually.

[Doc] I meant physically. I presume they fly?

[NK] Oh! Yeah. Definitely.

[Splender] Is happily humming along-

[NK] Kind of like a bird, but a reptile. Neat shit....

[Doc] And intelligent like the lightfoots?

[NK] Yeah. Highly. Made them super snobby, unfortunately.

[Doc] And all of this went down with your server? It's kind of a shame really.

[NK] I mean, I have eggs, but their original culture is kapoot. Whatever's in their code is all they have to go on.

[Doc] Doesn't matter. It sounds like they're extinct otherwise. If you have eggs, it seems right to spawn them someplace and give them a chance to live.

[Nk] True, true.... I should go and do that.

[Splender] - Doctor...  Shouldn't we be going

[Doc] Yes. You're right, but... Actually? Can I have one of each?

[Nk] one of each? Uhh... -theres a mall moment before nk has put a blend of eggs into docs hands

[Doc] Takes them gently and sets them in the grass before packing them into a shulker box and stowing them.

[Exeggutor] Is super interested and sniffs around all the eggs.

[Doc] It was nice seeing you Nk. Thank you for the jewelry too. Don't be a stranger. Come on Splender, let's go.

[Splender] Begins following Doc again-

[Doc] heads around Lie's property and past her greenhouse-

[Stevenson] -is standing on the path nearby with ryan on his shoulder-

[Doc] Waves- Hey Stevenson! And you have Ryan. How the baby?

[Stevenson] oh hey ryan has been good

[Doc] Any words yet?

[Splender] Is using one of his bells to entertain the small dragon-

[Doc] Me and Splender were just headed out to visit Kore. It's a huge Testificate town.

[Stevenson] no not yet

[ryan] -his three head are following the bell-

[Stevenson] that place sounds interesting

[Doc] Okay, you can come with. I'm just delivering a bunch of items they don't have yet.

[Stevenson] well then lead then way if we are going

[Doc] Okay, - xe leads them down into the winding tunnels and pauses at the iron door to fumble with the lever- I hate these things... they slam too quickly for my tastes with a button.

[Splender] Just teleports inside-

[Stevenson] -just goes in after doc- whoa this place is huge and made of a lot of gold

[Doc] Yeah, Cp built it. - xe casts a glance at the bed in the far corner of the room before fiddling with one of the consoles

-The offensive pod stirs and "looks" down at them-

[Stevenson] why? -ryan looks up at the plant but stays on stevenson shoulders-

[Splender] Is just patiently waiting-

[Doc] Because he tried to keep Lie trapped in it. The rest of us hounded him and convinced him it was a shitty idea. - Xe opens a portal and motions for them to go in it-

[Splender] Steps through, looking around as soon as he's on the other side-

[Stevenson] -steps cautiously though-

-There's a wave of heat as the sun of the desert falls on them. On the next chunk the high walls of a city are clearly visible, with a garland of Lie's black offensive plants around the top edges. -

[Doc] Starts walking towards the city.

[Stevenson] -follows doc- what are we in another seed just like that

[Splender] Is taking in the sights like a tourist-

[Doc] It's a seed within a seed. The consoles in the cage are each running their own copy of Minecraft with their own saved files.

[Doc] This world is where TLOT and Steve came from.

[Stevenson] werid -ryan is trying to look in every direction at once it could also most work if he had one more head-

[Testificates] There's some peeping over the walls and some commotion within as the people stir and talk and the normal routines of the city are put on hold for their visitors.

[Sprlhm and Cherie] Are waiting at the gates- Doctor!

[Doc] Hey! Sorry to pop in unexpected, but you know I promised to bring you a bunch of new stuff. Look who I brought! This is Splender. And our friend Stevenson and his babby Ryan.

[Stevenson] -waves-

[Testificates] Are peeking and clustering as they stand at the gates-

[Sprlhm] Come in! - Ushers and Doc follows-

[Splender] Waves as well-

- The main way leads up to a fountain gurgling with black liquid and protected by more of the little offensive pods. There's a surge of good energy that fills Splender and Doc both as the love of the Testificates dials up their personal brine energies and the small circutry of Splenders digital part-

[Cherie] Is staring up at Splender in amazement-

[Stevenson] -is looking around at everything-

[Splender] Breaths deeply- Oh that is delicious

[Sprlhm] At Stevenson- Are you related to Father Steve? You look a lot like him.

[Stevenson] no I am just a different steve from a different seed

[Sprlhm] Looks a bit confused -

[Doc] Just like there are different Herobrines, there are other Steves, and Alexes too. Doesn't make yours any less special though.

[Doc] At Stevenson- Steer clear of the fountain too, that stuffs dangerous if your mate is nowhere around

[Splender] Is bouncing on his heels-

[Stevenson] got it

[ryan] -climbs on top of Stevenson's head-

-The square is full of Testificates gawking and smiling. There are children too. Amusingly some of them are wearing handmade play costumes to make them look like TLOT, Steve and even Lie and Cp. One is even in some red cat pajamas.

[Doc] Has opened hir inventory and is passing around stacks of vegetables, fruit and cheese that's not native to vanilla minecraft.

[Sprlhm] Is taking notes and planting instructions for a bunch of seeds.

[Stevenson] -notices how close they look like to the other in the costume and kind of just stares at them like they are crazy-

[Testificates] Part a little bit for a rather enthusiastic couple making their way through the crowd.

[ryan] -flies of Stevenson's head and starts doing circles around a small around around him-

[Testificate pair] Both kiss passionately before the bubbling black fountain and then touch the stuff at the same time-

[Stevenson] so why are trying to make yourselves look like other?

[Testificates] Seem a bit confused -

[Child] we want to be big and strong like our Gods and Goddesses!

[Stevenson] doc if you said to avoided the black stuff why did that couple touch it?

[Doc] Hmmm? Oh, well you answered your own question. It's a couple. It's safe if you have a lover. Just watch.

[Testificate pair] Both tremble for a moment and then grab at eachother as if they needed the others kisses like air. One sweeps the other into the air and they race into the nearest house with wild abandon as the one being carried pulls at their carriers clothing.

[Testificates] Good natured chuckling from the crowd.

[Cherie] It was a gift from our healing goddess Lilinthia. She and the Doctor and our Lord Herobrine set up the fountain for all of us to share in it's heat.

[Stevenson] so the liquid makes those who touch it want to have sex and I correct?

[Doc] Oh yes. It makes our whole body cry out for whoever you love the most romantically. It hurts like hell if you're single. Like being kicked in the cubes repeatedly.

[Stevenson] -flinches at the thought of getting kicked in the cubes- yea I don't want to feel that at all

[Cherie] It makes love-making so wonderful. Our people were drunk upon it when we discovered the pod in the desert until we were all exhausted from copulating and blissfully naked. It was a glorious day, when the hateful NOTCH was killed by our valiant deities.

[Doc] Gives Splender a small elbow while grinning happily. - The surge of power that's swirling around them is intense.

[Stevenson] sounds like a crazy day

[ryan] -lands on the ground near Stevenson-

[Children] Several wander over to investigate Ryan.

[Sprlhm] What an interesting little creature.

[Parents] Trust their visitors but still watch the dragon closely-

[ryan] -looks at the kids and it's heads bob out of time-

[Children] Giggles -

[Child dressed a bit like Steve] Tries to pet Ryan-

[ryan] -all three heads try to nuzzle into the hand-

[Testificate Steve] Seems super proud and the other kids look impressed.

[Doc] Laughs good naturedly- Kinda glad Cp isn't with us. He'd have a fit over the kid in the cat suit.

[ryan] -makes a soft happy rawr-

[Stevenson] why would he be mad doc?

[Doc] Because when he's being uncontrollable and awful, Lie can turn him into a little red cat. It makes him furious, but it was the only way to nerf him in the beginning.

[Sprlhm] Nods in understanding. - It is fitting that the Herobrine of War be checked in his powers by his peaceful mate, less he destroy too much.

[Stevenson] well that's one way to control someone out of control

[Cherie] He's also really cute as a cat. Our people were astounded to see the goddess enter our temple with a cat and re-emerge fresh from her passion with a burst of fragrant flowers and a handsome Herobrine at her side.

[ryan] -jumps up with the help of his wing to Stevenson shoulders again-

[Stevenson] well is different then I am use to -pets ryan-

[Cherie] Gushes at Stevenson- So tell us of your mate! Is your Herobrine as handsome as you?

[Doc] Coughs to keep from laughing-

[Stevenson] actually I am single and the brine I am related is female

[Cherie] Oh! Is she beautiful?

[Doc] She's graceful, well-endowed and extremely unique....

[Stevenson] and has more then two eyes and more then the four limbs most have so not just two legs and two arms

[Cherie] Is obviously confused-

[Doc] As I said, she is unique.

[Cherie] Puts her hands in her sleeves - I see. Our lord has such interesting comrades.

[ryan] -makes a loud rawr which dies down to what sounds like a yawn mixed with a rawr which might be because he was actually just yawning-

[Testificates] Give him some space-

[Doc] Is he tired?

[Stevenson] yea he just needs a nap its ok ryan you can sleep on my shoulders -ryan curls around on his shoulder-

[Splender] Has been observing the children, figuring out what to give them.  He can feel their happy energy and has already siphoned a little off of them to prepare for what he will create.  He notices the play costumes and his smile grows wider as he subtly begins working on his own magic-

[Doc] Finishes handing out the supplies and dusts hir hands. - You guys want to go see the artwork now?

[Splender] - One moment please- He spots a blank wall of a building and extends his energy towards it in a rush, with a flick of his hand materials materialize and soon a small stage is sitting there, perfectly sized for children with even a small booth to the side full of props they can use

[Testificates] Assorted oohs and ahs and some applause-

[Children] Happy cries as they rush to pick through the toys and play-

[Cherie] That was wonderful! We thank you- her and her husband both bow low-

[Doc] I love it. You're the man of the hour.

[Splender] - Oh it's nothing!  Part of my job is to make children happy!

[Doc] And you're damn good at it. -pats his leg since that's mostly all xe can reach- Come on, I've been dying to show you this stuff. - Xe leads them towards the white temple facade.

-There's a strong smell of flowers as they reach the open doors and Sprlhm and Cherie show them inside. The wall seperating the room with the Patchbook from the hallway has been knocked out, but there are still lots of flowers growing on the walls and ceiling from Lie's explosion of energy. The pews have been removed and the middle part of the floor is dominated by a traditional gold summoner-

[Splender] - Oooh!  Pretty!

[Stevenson] that's a lot of flowers

[Cherie] The goddess gave us so many, but they're each more beautiful then the last.

[Doc] Stands rather still and actually feels the summoner pulling from this close range. - Splender? You're getting a little of this too, aren't you? I don't know if there's a way to summon your kind, but this is a signal that should work for you now, if you're listening for it.

[Splender] - Hm?  No...

[Doc] That's odd... maybe there's just too much background noise? Ah, well. I wanted to show you the garden specifically anyway.

[Splender] - Okie-dokie!

[Doc] Follows the Testificates down to the back of the building and into the large courtyard. The area is dotted with statuary and plots of crops and flowers. The largest is of TLOT and Steve. The brine looks brave and determined and his husband is swooning in his arms like the cover of a bad romance novel. Doc points out a smaller statue of Lie in a flowing robe with a little cat peeking out from under the hem.

[Splender] Giggles-

[Doc] Across from her is a staue of Cp with multiple arms, his hands holding his swords and pickaxe, a ball of fire and even one hand just giving the finger. The wither is there too, half his size and with it's back to him to physically balance the artwork

[Splender] - His wither's so small in this depiction...

[Doc] Well I think it's just artistic liscence. It's the right size in the big frieze at the foot of the garden.

[Splender] - Ah, I see

[Doc] Goes down the hill and makes a right through some trees, there's a sound of gurgling water and xe directs their vision up and forward. There's a fountain flowing from the mouth of a dragon carved into the wall in high relief. Below is a carving of Doc in a Vitruvian man pose. One hand has a potion bottle and the other a ball of lightning. The body of the dragon ratchets gracefully down from the wall to encircle the smaller figure.

[Splender] - OH LOOK!  It's you Doc!  That's so cool looking!  But...  I still haven't seen me...

[Doc] I'm getting too it. Save the best for last. Xe curves down the wall and they come to the huge frieze. The giant carving is finished and the raised parts have been rubbed with dye blobs to color it. Everyone s there, fighting the NOTCH, huge and terrible in the middle. Even Lie's pod is biting his foot at the bottom.

[Cherie] Our best artists worked on it.

[Splender] - Oooooo!  THERE I AM!- Much awing is done at his own likeness

[Doc] You guys did a great job. You should have see tLOT's face when he talks about his people, he's so proud of every one of you.

[Sprlhm] Is just beaming and gives his smiling wife a happy squeeze-

[Doc] At Splender-  That's not the big one of you though, they put you on the opposite wall from me. This way-

[Splender] Happily follows Doc towards the other wall-

[Doc] passes through some bushes and gestures grandly. The image of Splender is presiding over a patio of chiseled quartz blocks with comfortable benches, it's both tall and wide and spread over several blocks. Splender is serene in the center with a beatific expression and all around him are wildly intricate carved tentacles winding in celtic style knots. Some end with bells others without. It's also been rubbed with dye so his colorful suit is accurate.

[Cherie] We hope you like it. We had seen the others since and were intially unsure if you had survived.

[Splender] Happily gasps and teleports over, leaving a trail of purple sparkles behind him as he looks the image over excitedly- IT'S SO PRETTY!

[Cherie] Blinks at the sparkles- are you part Ender as well?

[Doc] It was just an adjustment. His normal tp has odd energiies that can make people woozy. Better to do as the natives do.

[Splender] Is too preoccupied with his image to have heard Cherie-

[Doc] I think he approves. He's not used to feeling so loved by pretty much everyone.

[Splender] - So much color!

[Doc] So... do you to have anything to report?

[Sprlhm] No. Just rumors. Our people have headed out in every direction to tell the other villages what's happened. Most of them seem relieved. The main opposition is from the really elderly people who kind of remember when Herobrine was more then just an old story to scare kids with.

[Cherie] And there are always a few bigots who worry that allowing the mals to pair up will somehow cause them to be violent. They don't understand that harmonizing with someone doesn't immeditely make you wonder what it would be like to use that power for control others.

[Sprlhm] The monks have been an actual presence of late too. -a bit sarcastic- Venturing down from their mountain fastness to mingle with the rest of us peasants. They seem to be searchng for something, but if it's traces of their NOTCH, I think they will be, happily, dissapointed.

[Doc] Yes. I saw his code destroyed myself. I can assure he is gone in every functional way. Would you folks like me to update the server? I think it's been a long time since that was done.

[Cherie] Is it.... dangerous?

[Doc] No. But you two are the closest we have to leaders on this side. I've already cleared it with Herobrine and Father Steve. They trust me not to error anything.

[Sprlhm] I see. -speaks with Cherie for a moment-  Then we will also trust his judgement. Can we bring you anything?

[Doc] No, I just did the outer server, so I have the .jar file still on me. I'll tend to it. - Xe lays out a command block and sits down on a bench to link up with the seed and access the admin functions. Xe types for a few long moments and then looks around before hitting a final button. There's a shiver in the air and suddenly the colors all around them pop and become brighter, and more vivid. - Nice.

[Cherie] Is enchanted- Such miracles! Everything is so much more colorful!

[Sprlhm] If I may ask.... What else has changed?

[Doc] There's some new mobs, bug fixes, you can dye beds and there are a lot more blocks you guys have never seen. I think you'll really have fun decorating with the tile blocks and colored cement. Actually, these guys are brand new and they'll fit in around here wonderfully- Xe pulls out the parrot egg and spawns a bunch of the colorful birds.

[Splender] - More colors!

[Parrots] Hop happily around the plaza and flutter up into the trees.

[Doc] If you want to tame them, feed them cookies. But take care with your words. Because they apparently repeat things that they hear.

[Testificates] A few who were tending the plants wander over to look at the chirping birds-

[Bird] says- apparently repeat things-

[Doc] See?

[Splender] Whistles A cheerful tune at them-

[Parrots] Two of them repeat the tune-

[Splender] - Oh goody!

[Doc] -mischevious laugh- Can you imagine how aggravated Cp would be if I taught one of the birds the summoner poem? It's not a call I want anyone to ignore from repetition but it's an amusing thought.

[Splender] - You should do it!

[Cherie] A wise move. One should not taunt the spirit of battle and bloodshed itself.

[Doc] Yeah, agreed. He has a long history of punching me really hard when he's mad. And we've actually been getting along decently of late.

[Splender] - But would it not make everyone here happy for him to visit a bit more?

[Cherie] Oh yes! But not when he's angry.

[Sprlhm] Can we have a few more birds? If they repeat with fidelity, it would be a good way to bring news from different villages.

[Doc] Sure! - Xe does a bit of a spin and taps the egg a bunch more times so the air explodes with chirping and colorful feathers.

[Sprlhm] Snaps his fingers and some of the gawkers run to get cookies for the birds. - Thank you.

[Doc] Smiles at the tableau - I guess if there's no other business we'll be heading back. - You guys ready?

[Stevenson] we are ready

[Splender] - I'm curious, what does everyone here think of Stevie?

[Cherie] Who is Stevie?

[Doc] Cp also has a Steve. But they aren't lovers, they're brothers. Stevie is the younger.

[Cherie] What is he like?

[Doc] He's a very salt of the earth type, mostly just concerened with survival. He had a falling out with Cp and they're working to reconcile their relationship. It's complicated. I'm not sure you'll ever see him, he's not much for exploring.

[Splender] - Much more peaceful than his brother

[Cherie] That is fitting. The fire is surrounded by such cool stones to keep it from burning itself to nothing.

[Doc] Ha. I like the way you think.

[Splender] - We should bring him!

[Doc] What, Stevie? Perhaps next time we come visit. And only if he wants to come.

[Splender] - Or we could surprise him!

[Doc] You are in a naughty mood today Splender!

[Cherie] Giggles sweetly and some of the birds imitate the noise-

[ryan] -makes a soft rawring sound in his sleep-

-There's a rosy blush against the sky as the sun heads for the horizon and the stars start appearing. -

[Doc] I think we've left Pinwheel alone longer then we meant too. She's probably getting hungry...

[Parrot] Imitates the rawr-

[Splender] - Oh no! Pinwheel!

[Doc] Okay, let's head back- Xe thanks the Testificates and makes a portal back to the cage before ushering them through and closing it again. -well that was fun.

[Splender] - So much fun!

[Doc] They're good people, and I'm glad TLOT doesn't bear them any ill will. He's proving a generous and thoughtful ruler. - Xe opens the cage door to let them all out and starts walking back up the tunnels.

[Stevenson] well this was weird and different

[Doc] Chuckles- Indeed. It's why I was suprised when Cp was so dismissive of the Testificates on his own seeds. They can be a bit naive at times but they're good people for the most part.

[Splender] Teleports to the surface since he can't walk through the tunnel-

[Doc] Leads Stevenson to the surface where Exeggutor is waiting as well-

[Stevenson] well I should head back home

[Doc] Thanks for tagging along. Hope you had fun!

[Stevenson] it was an experience is the best way to describe it -starts to walk back home-

[Doc] At Splender- well at least I gave him something positive to think about. He doesn't have a very high opinon of Herobrine's in general.

[krizaland]

Defying Gravity Chapter 4

First Chapter Previous

Hey guys! Hope you’re ready for another musical number! 

Be warned: There is a slight touch of ZADF ahead.

Here’s the song I used btw

Meanwhile, Zim, GIR, Minimoose, and Dib had all hopped into the Voot Cruiser.

“Just a few more adjustments and we’ll be ready to rescue My sweet human from the FILTHY EMPIRE!” Zim growled as he begun pressing a few buttons.

“Hey, do you mind if I play some music? The soul crushing sounds of the void of space kinda drives me crazy during space travel.” Dib mused as he pulled out his smart phone.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just don’t try anything funny, got that?” Zim grumbled as he tossed Dib an alien AUX cord and gestured for him to plug it into Minimoose.

“Thanks!” Dib chirped as he caught the AUX cord and plugged into his smart phone.

The moment the music started up, Zim found himself softly singing along.

“I got this feeling, I’m losing you.” Zim murmured as he continued to adjust the ship.

“Wait. You’ve heard this song before?” Dib raised a brow.

Zim simply nodded and continued to sing.

“It’s got me reeling. I need a clue.” Zim flicked a few switches.

“Got my heart burning. I lost my spell.” Zim’s voice got slightly louder as he became more invested in the song.

“Can’t see you turning up! ah! This looks like hell! Oh!” Dib soon found himself joining in.

“I can’t fight this feeling. It’s not in my head! And I know it’s something I did baby.” Zim didn’t seem to notice as he pressed a few more buttons.

“I can’t fight this feeling! I’m out of control! Got to get back to life that I know! Hoo!” Dib slowly turned up the volume.

“I’m not freaking out. But it feels like time is running out how did this shit come about? I’m not freaking out. But I’m afraid, afraid of losing you! Hoo! If that’s what it comes to, baby. If that’s what it comes to baby! It’s all you gotta say to me!” Zim and Dib’s voices melted together as the song continued.

“If that’s what it comes to, baby. If that’s what it comes to baby! It’s all you gotta say to me! Hoo!”

“Hold on to something.” Zim commanded as he slammed down on the launch button.

FWOOM!

The Voot Cruiser shot up and pierced through Urth’s atmosphere!

The Voot was going so fast that it shot through the astroid belt like a pinball machine.

Everyone started to scream as the asteroid belt sent the Voot flying further out into the galaxy.

WHUMP!

The Voot landed on the tail of a space whale.  The Space whale let out an annoyed hum.

FWHACK!

The space whale smacked the Voot off of its tail.

The Voot was sent flying once more, this time smacking into several planets along the way.

When all the crashing and flinging stopped, Zim finally managed to regain control of the ship.

“WOO! Do that again!” GIR cheered as he threw his arms in the air.

“Gah! Seriously?! Are you trying to kill us?!” Dib snapped as he caught his breath.

“Hey! I told you to hold onto something!” Zim snarled as he continued to fly the ship.

“Whatever.” Dib muttered as he tried to turn his focus back to the music.

“I just keep biting my tongue. ’Til all you want is done. Alright. And you just wanna leave me. Oh yeah. Oh c’mon.” Dib sang softly.

“I can’t fight this feeling. It’s not in my head. And I know it’s something I did baby.” Zim let out a heartbroken sigh as he projected a hologram of you.

Dib gave Zim a sympathetic look.

“Huh. I guess he really does care about Y/N.” Dib thought to himself.

“I can’t fight this feeling. I’m out of control. Got to get back to the life that I know Oh!” Zim and Dib’s voices melted together.

“I’m not freaking out. But it feels like time is running out! How did this shit come about? I’m not freaking out! But I’m afraid, afraid of losing you! Oh!” Zim begun to cheer up a bit and shut off the hologram.

“If that’s what it comes to, baby. If that’s what it comes to, baby. That’s all you gotta say to me! If that’s what it comes to, baby. If that’s what it comes to, baby. That’s all you gotta say to me!” Soon GIR joined in as well.

The rest of the trip continued on without any crashing nor bashing. Just the sound of Zim, GIR, and Dib singing together.

Things seemed to be going well until.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

The Voot’s communication line went off, interrupting the music.

“What’s going on?!” Dib demanded as he begun to panic.

“It looks like another ship is trying to contact us!” Zim gasped as he looked down at the screen.

“Really?! But where’s the ship” Dib asked as he pressed his face against the window.

“THERE IT IS!” GIR sang as he pointed to a large gray ship looming over the Voot.

Back on The Massive, you found yourself unable to resume your nap.

You let out a sigh as you stared up at the lavish ceiling for a moment.

“God, I miss Zim so much. I wish he was here with me.” A few tears trickled down your cheeks.

“Oh well, at least I know he’s safe and that’s all that matter-”

PING!

The sound of the door opening interrupted your monologue.

You rolled over and pretended to be asleep as Purple entered the room.

“Aww! They look so cute when they’re in sleep mode!” He whispered as he carefully scooped you up.

You held back a gasp at the sudden contact but managed to keep up your sleeping facade.

Purple gently stroked the top of your head as he cradled you in his arms.

He let out a few chirps and purrs before checking to make sure no one was watching.

When he was certain the coast was clear, Purple carried you off to his personal chambers.

“There you go, cutiepie! This bed is much more comfy than that musty one you were on before.” Purple cooed as he gently placed you down onto a purple pet bed.

Despite pretending to be asleep, you could still feel Purple’s eyes on you. You felt a shudder run down your spine as you hoped he would leave soon.

“Oh no! You’re cold! Here, I’ll warm you up.” Purple gasped as he picked you up again and held you close.

You felt more and more nervous the longer Purple held you.

As much as you wanted him to put you down, you didn’t want to have to talk to him too.

Red already bored you to death with his boasting. You didn’t want to deal with Purple’s nonsense too.

You decided to soothe your nerves by pretending that Zim was the one holding you instead of Purple.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before you got too immersed in your fantasy. You had accidentally tricked yourself into thinking you actually were being held by Zim.

“I love you so much.” You murmured as you nuzzled closer.

“Really!?” Purple squealed as he held you up.

You let out a squeak as you realized what just happened.

“I-I can explain! I-” You spluttered as your face turned red with embarrassment.

“You don’t need to explain anything! I knew you loved me!” Purple sang as he swung you around for a moment.

PING!

“Ahem!”

Purple’s euphoria was cut short be Red barging in and rudely clearing his throat.

“Oh! Hey, Red! Guess what? The pretty human loves me! I just heard them say it!” Purple sang as he held you up.

Red’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“You can’t be serious! They literally just met you! They can’t decide they love you that quickly! ….Can they?” Red whined as he looked into your eyes.

“Yes they can! I just heard the pretty human say that they love me very much! So in your face!” Purple gloated as he literally rubbed you in Red’s face.

You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t get a word out as Red tried to snatch you away.

“Ah, ah, ah. The human is mine! They picked me! So you can’t have them!” Purple tutted as he pulled you away before Red could lay a claw on you.

“Is that so?” Red growled as his ruby eyes narrowed.

“Go on, Cutiepie! Tell him what you told me!” Purple sang as he held you up to Red’s face.

You were sweating bullets as you could feel the rage boiling in Red’s body.

“W-Well, you see, I-”

“C’mon, Cutiepie! You don’t have to be scared of the big bad Red.” Purple cooed.

“Stop calling them that! I’m pretty sure that’s not even their name! That’s not really your name right?” Red asked as his face softened a bit.

“No it’s not. My name is actually, Y/N-”

“See?! You didn’t even bother to ask for their name!” Red snarled as he gestured to you.

“I like Cutiepie better! So that’s their new name!” Purple pouted.

“No, their name is Y/N and that’s how it will stay.” Red seethed as he put his hands on his hips.

“Nuh Uh! They’re my pet! They chose me! So they’re name is Cutiepie now!” Purple huffed as he cradled you.

Red let out a growl before regaining his composure

“Fine. Since they’ve made their choice then I guess you’ve won…For now.” Red’s voice sounded calm but you could feel the venom oozing off of each word.

Even Purple seemed a little nervous but he stood his ground none the less.

“That’s right! I’ve won! Now give Cutiepie and I some privacy!” Purple commanded as he tried to shoo Red away.

“Very well…Enjoy your victory while it lasts.” And with that Red sauntered out of the room.

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