#i love him but i won't stop talking about him

[angelltheninth]

When Arcane Men Get Jealous

Pairing: Viktor, Jayce, Ekko, Vander, Silco, Finn, Marcus, Loris, Steb x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, jealousy, possessive behavior, being protective, kissing in public, biting, holding hands, public display of affection, canon typical violence, suggestive

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions

A/N: Would die if they were jealous over me. Melt into a puddle. Gone.

When Viktor gets jealous he gets a bit more withdrawn than he usually is. Not that he was ever a social butterfly, however he was always more open and happy to talk when it was with you. So his behavior is odd, he even seems to get quieter whenever you walk into the room. Like he's trying to remove himself from you with silence.

"I am not avoiding you. Look, there has been a lot to do for the past week, I'm sorry if you got a bad impression but I was simply busy. If you want more company, go ask Jayce, or Skye, I'm sure they will be more than happy to entertain you, darling."

Viktor is short with his answers, saying as little as possible to minimize the amount of time he spends talking to you. Not because he doesn't want to talk to you, he loves talking to you, but if he keeps talking there's a chance he might say something he's going to regret. And end up hurting you.

"There you go again with these ridiculous accusations. You won't leave it alone will you? So now it's my fault that your project is running late? I would have been happy to help but someone was too busy talking with... you know what, nevermind. You're right, we both have a lot to do, so let's just drop this conversation and focus on work."

If you keep getting in the way of his work, Viktor will eventually come to a breaking point. Him not being able to work is only adding to his emotions, and he's never been the best at dealing with them. While he doesn't exactly yell at you, it's very rare that he ever raises his voice there's a notable frustration in his words, and pain, fear that you'd leave.

"If I'm being so unreasonable then leave. Go. Have fun. I know it's not idea to be cooped up in the lab all the time. There are so many more things to do out there. if you... want to go with other people I suppose I can't stop you, nor can I stop my own jealousy. How am I being even more unreasonable? I know you wouldn't leave me without talking about it. Look... I do not... want you to leave, working is more fun with you. But am I truly all that you want? Me? This lab? Because you're all I want. All that I can think of."

When Jayce gets jealous he keeps invading your personal space when you're around the person or people he's jealous of. His behavior is nothing innapropriate or pushy. It's just his arm around your waist, just him bringing you that drink you wanted, just him bragging about you a bit too loud and saying how much he loves you.

"You really are great, babe. How in Runterra did I ever find a beauty like you huh? What's that bashfulness for now, I always praise you, and I'm never gonna stop. You're my girl right? I can be a proud boyfriend and talk you up every once in a while."

Physical affection a big deal to Jayce and a way he shows he cares but also a giveaway to his jealousy. He holds your hand longer, his eyes flicker between you and the one he's jealous off, his smile is a bit more nervous when he has to leave you alone. Then there are his kisses, not as gentle, not a little, quick peck on the edge of your lips but a real kiss, lips pressed against yours until you let him know you need air.

"Got a bit carried away there. Ah, sorry, I can't resist you sometimes. All the time. Do you expect me to when you wear lipstick like that? Makes your lips look like they're made to be kissed. By me specifically. I'd kiss you all night long, for the rest of our lives and never get tired of it."

Jayce keeps denying that he's jealous when you bring it up in a teasing way. Logically there's no reason to get jealous, everyone knows your relationship is doing great, in fact you're hardly ever fighting and even when you are it doesn't last too long. How does he turn that part of his brain off? How can he not get jealous when all those people look at you the way he looks at you?

"They're always looking at you. How can you not notice? It's so obvious. You don't notice because... you're only looking at me? That doesn't even make sense! Of course they're looking, you're breathtaking everywhere you go. I just hope that wherever you go, you'll always take me with you, because I want to be by your side forever."

Ekko often jokes about being jealous so you don't pick up on him actually being jealous. A little jealousy is fine but not when it's getting in the way of his missions and operations with his team. He'd been a bit distracted in the past, by one of the Firelights flying too close to you, so he pushed his way between you two.

"It was the formation! Which you would have remembered if you weren't too busy chatting. Come on, Firefly, get your head in this. Otherwise you're gonna make your leader jealous. Wouldn't want that right? What if... what if you get demoted for it? Hey! Ow! I wouldn't demote you, who would listen to all my plans?"

When you have free time together Ekko makes sure to spend as much time with you as possible. If you're together all the time there's less chance that someone else will swoop in and flirt with you. He would never describe his behavior as being clingy, all he wants is to spend free time with his girlfriend. That is perfectly normal behavior.

"What do you say we go out to get some food? We don't have to spend all our time here. Not like the tree is gonna burn down if we're away for a couple of hours right? Besides it's been a while since it was just you and me all alone. Miss being alone with you. Don't you miss it too?"

If the person he's jealous of ever puts you in danger in any way Ekko will go off on them. Harder than he scolded others in the past. He might let some of his jealousy show then, but he storms off, well flies off before you can talk to him. As much as he wants to be alone he also makes room for you on his hoverboard when you float down next to him.

"Shouldn't have went off on them like that. I know, you don't gotta say it, I'll say I'm sorry. Let cool off a bit. You'd think that if they were flirting with you that much they could have been looking out a bit better. I'm always looking out for you. Maybe a bit too much. Sorry if I've been weird about it lately. Would you forgive me if I took you on a romantic hoverboard ride?"

No one wants to piss off a big man like Vander by flirting with his wife. Everyone values their life and their bones too much. But... they stare at you. Quite openly actually. You see it, and you bet he sees it too. He sees everything that's happening at his bar and he won't stand for someone ogling his wife, even if he has to get aggressive about it.

"It's my damn bar, I've got the right to break the table with their heads when they're looking at ya like that. Tell ya what, a lot more people would avoid this place if I started beating up every asshole that looks at ya wrong. Only reason I don't is cause I don't want ya to be mad at me after."

He hasn't banned anyone from his bar in a very long time. Vander knows he tolerates a lot, this is Zaun, and some people don't have the best manners, that's not exactly their fault. But on the other hand if they start something with him then he will finish it. When he tells them to stop looking at you like you like you were one of Babette's workers and they get in his face he will pick them up and throw them out.

"Bastards had it coming. I tried to be nice, then they had to go and call ya names. Ain't no way in hell I'm gonna let anyone insult my wife. Not here, not on the streets, not anywhere. I went there and I wanted to talk to them, tell them to fuck the hell off, they were the ones who started getting violent. So I responded in kind."

Vander calls you over to the bar a bit more often if he sees a particular table is trying to monopolize you. He carries some of the drinks over, the food plates too, or he simply walks up behind you when one of the guys is getting flirty. Seeing his imposing, huge frame behind you, his muscles bulging, is enough to get most to back off you.

"See, darlin', I can talk things out just fine. When people are being smart about it that is. Might have to stop selling so much booze in this place, then they won't be so bold with ya. Ya are a pretty sight, I can't say otherwise. But ya are a pretty sight for me, not them, ain't that right? Mhm. I know, I'm all yer's too."

Silco never ever says he's jealous of anyone. He is the most powerful man in all of Zaun, everyone is scared of him and with good reason. As the Eye of Zaun he knows when people are looking, talking too, and might even try to touch you. Those people are often payed a not so nice visit by his men.

"I did hear about that gang, yes. It's very unfortunate that they don't know how to keep their noses where they don't belong. It's not that big of a loss on our end. There are a hundred people who can do their work, and better. All that matters is that they won't even have to think about not touching you again."

He rarely has to get his own hands dirty when he gets jealous. All it takes is him saying who the target or targets are and he makes them dissapear from Zaun. That doesn't always have to be deadly, but if they're really dumb it is. If Silco feels that you're in some kind of danger then he will keep you close by. He tries to distract you from seeing he's jealous.

"All I'm saying is that we could take a break from work. Sevika and Jinx can handle a week of it. And you and me can lock ourselves up in our home and not come out. The bedroom works perfectly fine too, if you'd rather spend our time in there. And what is it that I'm doing, darling? Jealous? You are an observant one. I wouldn't want you any other way."

The only time Silco will threaten someone in person is if that someone is bold enough to flirt with you in front of them. He can scare people within an inch of their life just by talking to them, he's not just a good businessman, and some people tend to forget that. He has Zaun in the palm of his hand, and everyone in it.

"He did not actually piss himself. Did he actually. Hm, I wasn't look at him anymore to be honest. He was spineless, surprising given he talked to you like he did. Guess he was thinking with his other head a bit too much for his own good. Why are you looking at me that way? Ah, I see. Looks like someone enjoyed watching me put a scumbag into his place a bit too much."

Since Finn isn't someone who would take anything lying down he will be damned before he sees someone coming onto his woman and not do anything about it. He might have a certain charm about him but that doesn't mean he's not ready to makes heads roll the moment when someone crosses any kind of line with you. Imaginary or otherwise.

"Hah, did you see that doll? As soon as I threw one punch he went down. All his buddies ran like rats. Left him all alone there. After all that tough talk and he couldn't even defend himself. Serves him right. He's lucky all I did was break his nose when he flirted with you. I wasn't even that far away."

Finn will make out with you in front of who ever he is jealous of just to prove a point to them. And while he has you moaning, has your head buried against his neck and your body running hot he will look at the other person and stick his tongue out at them, right before making a V with his fingers and putting his tongue between them. He's vulgar but it gets the point across very well.

"All these people looking at what's mine. Now, I can't have that right? I love that you're showing off your body, it's a great body, you know how much I love it. But sometimes I want to keep you away from prying eyes. And if I can't the least I can do is give them a show. Make them know I'm the only one who can touch you."

His jacket is a signature part of his outfit, but Finn will let you wear it. Hell, he will walk over and drape it over your shoulders while not even looking at whoever you're talking to. Sometimes they're not worth looking at when he can look at the pretty way you blush as you touch his hand that's lingering on your shoulder.

"Thought you looked a bit cold there. Keep this on all night. Later on I'll help you warm up my way, a much more fun way. Don't even worry about your perfume getting all into this, love having your scent all over me. And by tomorrow you're gonna be wearing all of my marks."

There are a lot of people in the Enforcers who tease Marcus about having such a pretty wife. He knows you're pretty, but he doesn't like that the department is noticing it so much as well. Not that there's any way for him to hide it, or that he wants you to hide it, that would be a real crime.

"I was not pouting. That is so childish. I was glaring at them. Well, they were the ones who stared first. You visit me at work, like that's such a big deal. We're married, honey, I pick you up from work too. Why is it such a big deal here? I think they're just trying to get a rise out of me."

Won't deny that he's feeling jealous or shy away from showing it. When Marcus notices any of his men flirting with you he makes them work extra hard that day, he gives them more paperwork, something that everyone hates there, or assigns them to the toughest jobs that he knows will take them days to complete. He can't help but chuckle when you visit again and they're too tired to flirt with you, they just say hello.

"What do you mean I'm picking on them? Of course not. You know how hard it is to deal with all these extra cases. Someone has to take on a few more. No, the fact that it's the same Enforcers who gave you flowers that one time has nothing to do with it. You think it does? And do you have evidence of this accusation?"

Marcus isn't shy about kissing you in front of the whole department. If that's what it takes to send them all a clear message to back off. It's always perfectly chaste kisses, but he does make sure that everyone hears him say he loves you when you leave. He smirks when eyes turn to him and he wishes them all a good rest of their day.

"Now you call me petty. All of these accusations and you still don't have any evidence. That's not a very good way to have a case. You've been keeping count have you? Oh. You... actually have been keeping count? I'm guilty? Fine, you got me, you got me. Maybe... that was a little petty of me, but I'm not sorry."

Every time Loris is jealous it's almost impossible for him to hide that fact. He's a big guy, nothing about him is easy to his, not even his emotions. And he's loud, so every time he huffs, mumbles something, or grunts you hear it. Your eyes meet and he looks away, his hand grasping yours and running his thumb over the back of your hand.

'They were staring at you a bit too much for my liking, pretty girl. If they were as tough as they pretend they were they should have held their ground more. Proves they were all bark and no bite. People like that really get on my nerves, and then they talk to my girl like she's single."

Loris invites you to have lunch with him quite often, even more often when he gets jealous of someone who works with him. Dealing with them in any other way would be unprofessional of him, and might get him in trouble. This way he gets to avoid that, avoid them, and spend a nice lunch date with you. No matter how you look at it he's the real winner here.

"Looks so good. But if you keep looking at me like that I might get hungry for something else besides the food. Just try shifting the blame on me when you know exactly how you're looking at me right now. I wouldn't risk it at work, but... if you showed up with a few hickeys on your neck it might get the rest of the department to stop flirting with you."

As much as he tries to make his jealousy go away it's not easy. Loris knows he should be an example for others, after all he had been an Enforcer for a long time, he can't just let his emotions get the better of him. Hard to keep those emotions down when they concern you. If nothing else works he will intimidate people. Easy enough for him. But he would rather that be a last resort.

"If he wasn't ready to throw fists and words at me then he shouldn't have thrown flirty words at you. He should be able to back himself up if he's gonna be saying stuff like that. All I did was pick him up and throw him outside. Hey, I might get in a bit of trouble for it, but at least he'll leave you alone from now on. I'd risk my badge for you if I have to, you know that."

Since he is the quiet type Steb shows his emotions and jealousy is one that he works hard to surpress. Every time he notices that someone is standing a little too close to you he walks over and looks at you, lovingly, then he looks at the other person with a glare, a deadly one. All the while he's standing shoulder to shoulder with you.

"Come now, angelfish, they weren't even worth your time. We both know they only had one thing in mind when they were talking to you. I could see it in their eyes. I don't appreciate that they looked at you like that. And I know you don't either. So I felt like I had to step in."

He is very physical with his jealousy. Steb lets his eyes and touches linger a few moments longer when he wants to make a point to someone. While he knows you don't hate it he also doesn't want to come off as too jealous or too possessive over you. You can take care of yourself and he loves that about you, he's watched you put people in their place often, but there are times where he can't hold himself back.

"I could feel your fingers interlocking with mine. You wanted me to stand close to you when they weren't leaving you alone. Would you have raised your voice if I hadn't walked over? It would be amusing to see it. But I think those kisses we shared also sent an equally powerful message. You didn't have to bit me though."

Steb nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck when he's feeling really, really jealous of someone. He makes it look less possessive than it is, pretending like he's overhearing something you have to say, and then pushing himself just a little bit closer. His cold lips make contact with your neck, sending shivers down your body before he brushes your lips with his thumb and leaves with a smirk.

"That ought to be enough. I could have done more but marking you in public might have been a step too far. We can enjoy things like that in private however. I enjoy being close to you in any context, and if it makes others realize you're not looking for anyone because you've already got a man then I enjoy it even more."

[witherby]

If Punch line can trigger Jason easily what would happen is she ever met Harley?

Let's explore that!

Punchline: First Session

Masterlist is Here!

"I need your help."

Harley perks up, gasping, and rushes over to hug Batman tightly.

"I never thought this day would come," she says, jumping up and down and clutching a gauntleted hand. "Yes!! Yes I would love to be your therapist! We have so much to work on, starting with your parents. I really think you never internalized the event and haven't given yourself any space to grieve after —"

Her hands get squeezed gently, recapturing her attention. Blue eyes meet white lenses, and she furrows her brow.

"Okay, that's fine!" She sighs. "Can't say I'm not disappointed, but if one of your kiddos is looking for help instead, I'm still more than hap—"

"Not one of mine," Batman gently interrupts. "This is a...very delicate case, Harley."

"What's delicate mean in this context, Batsy?" She asks. "Delicate like schizophrenic? Delicate like CPTSD? Delicate like one wrong word away from explodin' and killin' everybody in a mile radius?"

"Delicate," he says, "like...this might hit too close to home for you."

"Me?"

Batman nods. Harley hums, equal parts curious and cautious.

"Any good psychologist worth her salt won't let a personal connection get in the way of providin' aid," she tells him. "If the patient isn't somebody I can help myself, I'll help ya find someone who can. When can I meet 'em?"

--

Your file lies scattered across the floor of the cave. Harley stares wide-eyed at your picture while she trembles on her hands and knees. Bruce, having changed out of his suit, kneels beside her with a steadying hand on her back.

"Oh," she whispers, "Brucie, she's so small for her age. And her age!! Sh-she's..."

Harley shakes her head. Bruce continues rubbing small circles in her back. When she leans against him for support, he holds her upright.

"How'd he keep a kid hidden for eight years?" She whispers, voice thick. "I know I fucked off to go play Happy Family with Ivy, but..."

"Nobody knew," he says. "Harleen, don't play the blame game, not for this. He kept her a secret for a reason; no one was supposed to know."

Harley lifts her hands to her face, rubbing her eyes before any tears can well up and fall. She takes deep, calming breaths, gathering her focus, then carefully collects the papers and stands with his help. She draws a pad and pen out of her pocket.

"I ain't promising anything," she says, looking up at Bruce. "This is...this is a whole different ball game, 'specially with that chucklefuck as the daddy. But I'm gonna try, okay?"

He nods. "Take your time. You were the first person I thought of, but don't force this if it's too much."

Harley gently squeezes his hand in acknowledgement. She walks past him and down the hall towards the containment cells, heels clicking quietly against the floor. She dug out her old coat with the name tag pinned to it and even threw her hair back in a low braid to appear as non-threatening as possible. The closer she gets to your door, the more the wonders if you would've been more comfortable if she showed up in her combat getup and mallet.

"Miss Punchline?" She calls, stopping in front of your cell. A cursory glance of your environment tells her immediately that you're under-stimulated. She writes that down. "I'm Doctor Quinzel. Do ya mind if I come in and chat with you a while?"

You cease all movement. You'd been sitting with your back to the door, gently stroking the head of the teddy bear Alfred gave you while muttering Mistress Mary's nursery rhyme, but when you hear her, you practically turn into a statue. Unless she actively stares at your back, Harley can't even see you draw breath.

"Miss Punchline?" She repeats calmly. "I won't come in if you don't want, but I'd really like to talk to you."

"...Popsy talks about you, sometimes," you say. Harley can't decipher your tone, but the words make her feel cold all over. "Says he used to miss his favorite gal."

"I'm sure he's mentioned me once or twice," she says, clearing her throat. "But I'm old news. Why don't you tell me about yourself? I'm gonna punch in the door code now, okay?"

You don't move. Harley unlocks your cell and walks inside, getting a better look at how sparsely decorated it is. The bed is clearly unused and half of the activities left here would cause an ordinary child to lose interest in about an hour without company. Overall, Bruce and his family are keeping you in a dreary room. If she accomplishes nothing else today, it's a guarantee that she's gonna get you better accommodations.

Harley walks around the room until she can see you face-to-face. Once she's in your periphery, your eyes snap to her and follow her every movement like a predator. She lowers herself to the ground, taking a seat a few feet away from you.

"There you are," she says kindly. Your smile is just as placid as the one in your photo. "I like ya make-up. The swirly pattern on your cheeks is very cute."

You don't respond, though your smile widens briefly. Highly receptive to praise. Your eyes don't leave hers, scanning, assessing, calculating. Harley doesn't feel like you're about to attack her, but you're clearly juggling something around in your mind.

"Bet you're thinking about mine," she continues. "Normally I like puttin' on the face paint, but sometimes my pores gotta breathe, you know? Well — the pores I got left." She glances down at her hands, paper white like the rest of her body from her dip in a vat of acid. With relief, Harley notes that your unpainted skin is a healthy color. Even though the bar's lower than Hell, it's nice to know that at least the Joker didn't immediately treat you to a dunk of your own.

"Punchline, I'm gonna be frank with you," she says.

"Nice to meetcha, Frank," you chirp, grinning mischievously. Harley lifts a brow.

"That was funny," she praises. "I know your, eh, Popsy, he places a lot of value on bein' funny. Used to say nothin' was worth the effort if it didn't amuse him at the end of the day. I'm sure you know that already."

"A giggle a day keeps the boredom away!" You say, pitch and cadence matching that of your father's. Harley knows that the grip on her pen is too tight. She breathes deep and forces herself to relax. "Ohh, hit a nerve, Frank?"

"I'm doin' just fine," she says. "What's boredom look like for you and Popsy?"

You separate your hands, fingers splayed wide, and make explosion noises.

"Do you get caught up in that explosion?"

Your smile doesn't change but your eyes get sharp. Harley makes a note.

"It's hard keepin' him entertained all day, every day," she says. "I would know. But I'm gonna tell ya somethin' your popsy probably never has."

Harley scoots a tad closer to you, reaching her hand out and gently taking one of yours. She can feel every bone in your hand and has to utilize all of her training to school her expression.

"It's not your job to make yer popsy happy. In fact, it's not your job to make any adult happy. Grown-ups shouldn't rely on their children for emotional regulation."

"Couldn't rely on you, either, could be?" You snicker. "Since you ran away."

"I left him because he was treatin' me like dirt," Harley says, a little more firm than necessary. "He's real good at drawin' you in, Punchline. Shows you an ounce of praise that makes you feel invincible, makes you wanna do anything he asks to get more of it."

Harley lets go of your hand to tuck a lock of emerald green hair behind your right ear, brushing gently against the shell. The edges are distorted, flatter than your left.

"He's also real good at draggin' you through the mud, makin' you feel like everything's your fault. Like you got no choice but to make it up t'him. Ya never wanna get on his bad side cause he really makes you feel it."

You tilt your head away from her hand, eyes dropping back down to the teddy bear Alfred gave you. You resume petting it, slightly faster and rougher than before. Harley makes a note.

"His anger's always more powerful than his joy, Punchline," she says, "but both of them are destructive. I wanna help ya break away from his cycle."

"No thanks," you say, "if I wanted to be a washed-up, third-rate party clown, I would!"

Harley feels a wave of pity for you. It's obvious you're just regurgitating your father's words back at her, and she's not surprised. Change doesn't happen overnight, especially not for you.

There's so much work to do, but Harley's not afraid. You may look and behave similarly to the Joker, but you're young and still impressionable and already starting to pull away from him without even realizing it.

"I can tell yer getting upset, and that's the last thing I want," she says, climbing to her feet, "so I think this is a good stopping point for today. But I'd really like to see you again. Would you be alright with that?"

You blow a raspberry at her, then cackle. Harley exhales sharply through her nose, giving you a fond smile, and pats your head as she steps past you and opens the cell door.

She can do this. She will do this. For you.

But, first thing's first.

"Brucie, you're kidding me with the furnishings! How's the richest man on the planet gonna put a kid in such a shitty room!? Don't look at me like that, mister. You brought me in t'do a job and I'm gonna do it right!!"

[angelluv16]

She Has A type Part 2

Lando Norris x Leclerc!reader

✩: Lexi Leclerc was in a relationship with Joe Burrow for almost 5 years until He dumped her. Lando has had a huge crush on her since forever until he decided it was time to make a move.

faceclaim: sophia birlem, girls from pinterest

pairing: lando norris x leclerc!reader

request: no!!

warnings: none If their is let me know

Part 1

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liked by lexileclerc,joeburrow,arthurleclerc, and 628,926 others

lando: A night to Remember

view all 15,936 comments

username61: IS THAT A GIRL!!!!

arthurleclerc: Who got you smiling like that🤨😏😏

username62: Probably just another girl he's going to dump in the next week

lexileclerc: Your smile🥺

username63: HELLO!?!?!

username64: ARIANA?!?! what are you doing here

username65: OMG IS SHE GIVING HIM A SHOT

charlesleclerc: Well, well, well

username66: This is new lando never goes on dates who is he what where did old lando go

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

lexileclerc

{caption 1: He won't wake up and I'm bored} {caption 2: Decided That I don't need a man}

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by lando, carlossainz55, charlesleclerc, arthurleclerc and 1,523,667 others

lexileclerc: Happy Valentine's Day to My obsessed boy

view all 14,128 comments

lando: Happy Valentine's Love.

charlesleclerc: Finally I thought you guys were never going to announce it

arthurleclerc: ugh I have to deal with this in my own house when he comes over now I have to see it on my feed.

username67: Awww they Live together

username68: Free arthur lol

username69: THEY SAW TWITTER OMFG

username70: they said "Hey Let's Tell the world about our relationship that everyone figured out on Valentine's Day"

username71: Let's all act shocked!!

alex_albon: OMFG WHAT!!!!

georgerussell: THIS IS NEW TO ME

jade_distinguinn: This man stole My gf

alexandrasaintmleux: right he needs to be in jail

lilymhe: JAIL

flavy.barla: Thanks a lot lando

francisca.cgomes: NOT MY WIFE WE HAD PLANS

lando: stopp she's mine she doesn't like you guys. She loves me

lexileclerc: That's debatable. I love my girls more and kika We can still proceed with our plans.

francisca.cgomes: okay my love i'm packing right now

username72: Poor lando he just lost his gf to the most gorgeous girls inthe paddock

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by lexileclerc, arthurleclerc,oscarpiastri,and 1,278,250 others

lando: LOML

view all 15,029 comments

lexileclerc: wtf is the last photo how did you get that

lando: Something called Your older brother

arthurleclerc: The only good photo is the last one

oscarpiastri: finally I can stop hearing him talk about his crush on you

username73: Lando Not the last photo

username74: Not me think Awwww This sis so cute and then I scroll to the last slide 😭😭

charlesleclerc: I'm dying

username75: everyone's talking about the last photo but Let's fucking talk about the caption My dude is in love

username76: Rightt I cant wrap my head around that little lando has a gf

username77: Her smile Is everything like ugh

username78: lets all say thank you lando for some new pics of our girl

username79: Thank you Lando

username80: thank you Lando

flavy.barla: Thank you Lando (I still don't like you)

francisca.cgomes: Thank you Lando

lilymhe: Thank you lando

alexandrasaintmleux: Thank you lando

jade_distinguinn: Thank you Lando

pascale.leclerc.355: Thank you Lando

ciscanorris1: Thank you Lando

flonorris1: Thank you Lando

lando: Your Welcome

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

lexileclerc

{caption 1: He has my whole heart🥺🥰} {caption 2: I got ready to do nothing}

replies:

lando: I love you so much

arthurleclerc: 🙄🙄🤮🤮

username81: This is so cute omg

username82: Stopppp

replies:

lando: You can do me 😉😉

lexileclerc: No thank you😁😁

arthurleclerc: YOU DIDN'T WANT TO COME WITH ME AND JADE SO THAT'S ON YOU

lexileclerc: I did want to go with jade but then you came with so I decided not to go

alexandrasaintmleux: I'm heading to you rn

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And here's part 2!! Comment if you want to see more Lando and Lexi. Love you guys thank you for the love and support. Comment if you want to also be tagged in any future fanfic of mine!!

-------------------------✩-------------------------

@isagrace22 @charlesgirl16 @sarx164 @anamiad00msday

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[cvntroach5000]

LaDS men - "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

dialogue only, slight crack, 1 gendered term used ("ma'am" by Sylus)

content warning: swearing, implied vore (Rafayel), suggestive themes (Sylus)

Xavier ✨

"Xavier, would you still love me if I was a worm?"

"..."

"...Why are you hesitating"

"Oh, sorry, I'm not. I was just thinking what kind of worm you'd be and what you'd need to be kept happy and safe. I'd need to build you some kind of enclosure... But if you were a worm, how would I know which things you like and which you don't? Worms can't talk. I guess I'd have to learn how to speak worm and watch you really closely."

"I'm sure if anyone could make me a happy worm, it'd be you."

"I'm glad you think so. Still, worms are so small and fragile... Please, don't turn into a worm. I don't think my heart could take worrying so much about you."

"Don't worry, I won't! It's just an internet meme."

"Good. Then it's settled. Neither of us will ever turn into worms. If we have to become animals, let's be cats or birds. Together. So we can talk and be equals."

Zayne ❄️

"Zayne, would you still love me if I was a worm?"

"...Sigh."

"Well? Would you, would youuu?"

"Yes. I would become a worm doctor and make sure you are the happiest, healthiest worm. Is that a satisfying answer?"

"Very!"

"Good. Any other hypothetical questions you'd like to ask?"

"Hmm... What kind of worm do you think I'd be?"

"I'm afraid I'm not familiar enough with different worm species to answer that question in a scientifically accurate way. However, I can guarantee you, you would be a worm that is beloved by Zayne."

Rafayel 🪸

"Rafayel, would you still love me if I was a worm?"

"Uhm, duh?? You'd be the cutest little worm, I'd eat you and keep you safe in my stomach."

"...What"

"What"

"You could've stopped at 'yes' and calling me cute."

"Yeah? Well, what about you? What would you do if I turned into a handsome, talented worm?"

"I wouldn't eat you, that's for sure."

"I guess it'd be a shame to waste such a special worm for a meal. You could make me a little worm art studio and then sell my artworks. That way, I could take care of you, even if I was a worm."

"Do you think worms look tasty, Rafayel"

"Of course I don't! But I think you'd be a delicious-looking, tasty little worm."

"...I'm starting to regret asking."

"I literally did nothing wrong."

"You brought vore into this house!"

"Jesus spoke the truth and they hated him for it, too"

"Who the fuck is Jesus"

Sylus 🥀

"Sylus, would you still love me if I was a worm?"

"Heh. What a strange question. Where did that come from?"

"It's an internet meme."

"Well, of course, I would, sweetie. After all, who could resist an adorable worm like you? I'd find an architect and a gardener to design you the largest, most luxurious enclosure, so that you could have the most opportunity to thrive out of any worm in the universe. Every day, I'd tell you how much I love you. And I'd subdue the world, so they'd worship the ground you burrow in."

"...Sylus, I think we gotta have sex now."

"Oh? I didn't know a bit of worm talk could get you so riled up, sweetie."

"You know this isn't about the worm."

"Haha."

"Take off your clothes"

"Yes, ma'am~"

Caleb 🍎

"Caleb, would you—"

"Yes."

"You don't even know what I was gonna—"

"You were going to ask me if I would still love if you were a worm, right?"

"..."

"The answer is yes. Hundred times yes."

"...It'd be nice if you let me finish my question."

"Oh. Okay! Ask me again, I'll wait this time."

"Caleb, would you still love me if I was a worm?"

"Yes!"

"How did you know what I was going to ask anyway?"

"I heard you the other day discussing the meme with your friends. I figured you'd ask sooner or later."

"Hmph."

"Soooo... Would you love me if I was a worm?"

"You're already a worm and I love you just fine, don't I?"

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

hwy so can I hVe a scenario with kurt wagner where him and his s/o are in bed together. They have been together for long enough where both have been in bed with one another a ton of times. S/o notices some particular scars along his back that don’t look like they’re from battles he got into. When he lays on his stomach or side. S/o didn’t notice those before despite admiring him sometimes. They look much older and deeper and never healed properly. S/o reaches over and gently touches them and runs their hand along them. Feels a bit like a massage. They don’t know what they are from, but to them it does not matter. He been through something really bad before they waaay met? (Thinking about those scars from his circus days).

~Our Scars Remind Us That The Past Is Real~

Pairing: Nightcrawler x Reader

Word Count: 0.3k

Warnings: we mention scars but not much

Genre: mostly fluff

Summary: Laying in bed you notice scars on your boyfriend's back

A/N: Thank you for requesting! <3

***

Kurt rolls over next to you and you smile at his sleeping form. You're having a lazy day today and he's been in and out of naps most of the afternoon while you catch up on the show you've been watching the last couple of months.

You run a hand through his hair and then trail it down. He settles against your touch as it slides over his neck and shoulders. You glance from the TV to his exposed back. You notice something on the skin of his back.

"Whydyastah-" Kurt says- something, but you can't quite catch it because he's speaking against his pillow.

"Kurt?" You prompt quietly. Maybe he's barely conscious and talking in his sleep.

"Why'd you stop?" He sighs.

"Oh, hi baby I didn't realize you were awake again."

"Yeah, I was just enjoying you touching me, but then you stopped."

"Sorry my darling, I- well I noticed some scarring on your back and got distracted I suppose."

"Oh that." Kurt hums.

"I've never noticed them before."

"They're pretty old." He shrugs.

"Yeah I thought so, but I'm just surprised I haven't seen them until now."

"Do you spend a lot of time staring at my back or something?" Kurt snorts.

"Well, not your back specifically, but I spend a lot of time looking at you overall. I mean, we've even showered together, I feel like I should've noticed these at some point." You frown.

"I mean I don't think it's a big deal, I'm covered in other scars anyway."

"Sure sure, I was just surprised by them, is all. You asked why I stopped." You explain.

You trace your fingers over the scars, soft touches, you're sure they don't hurt or anything, but you always touch him with care. You can't help it, life has been very difficult for him, and all you want for him is peace.

"Liebling?" Kurt hums.

"Yes my love?"

"Where did you go my heart?" He asks.

"Where did I...?"

"I lost you for a moment there."

"I'm just thinking about how much I love you." You kiss his forehead.

"I love you too." He says.

You won't ask him about how he got the scars. It doesn't really matter. It won't change that you love him, or how much. If he ever wants to tell you more of course you'll always listen, but until then, all you care about is that he's here, with you, and whatever horrors he faced he'll hopefully never have to deal with again.

***

[elliewrites77]

Yapper!Gojo Modern AU

Yapper!Gojo who's best friend is the least talkative person he knows, even more so than Geto. Even after weeks of sharing a class, it was a full month of being classmates before he heard her voice.

Yapper!Gojo who doesn't pressure you to talk. He does plenty talking for the both of you, and somehow knows that you don't mind. A big part of your friendship is the fact that their is an unspoken connection, and you both tend to understand each other naturally. He talks, you listen, and you both enjoy the dynamic.

Yapper!Gojo who knows when you're uncomfortable or overwhelmed without you even needing to say anything. Maybe it's because you're always on his mind or his attention is always on you, but somehow, he just knows.

Yapper!Gojo who doesn't hide his affection for you. Sure, he doesn't come right out and say "i'm in love with you", because he does have a secret fear of being rejected by you, but he loves calling you pet names, loves physical touch like holding your hand, and stuff that some would say are obvious signs of feelings. and you always reciprocate, maybe not to the same extent, but still.

Yapper!Gojo who only shuts up when he insists on joining you in the campus library to study (you're studying, he..isn't). He knows how important finals are to you, but won't stand to not see you all week, so he invites himself to your study session. You barely acknowledge his presence in the small room, but you both know you are happy he is there with you.

Yapper!Gojo who finally plans to tell you his feelings after finals are over. You both have one semester left before graduating, and since he doesn't know where life will take you guys after college (though he intends to keep you in his life) he figures it's better to do it sooner rather than later. So he devises this elaborate plan, even forcing Suguru, Shoko, and Nanami to help him (all of which said he should just tell you without anything 'big').

Yapper!Gojo who almost has a panic attack when the day finally comes. Finals were over, and Christmas break was the best time to do it. So while you thought you two were just going out for a "friend-date" to a nice resturant Satoru wanted to try, he was panicking thinking about everything that could go wrong afterwards.

Yapper!Gojo who is suspiciously quiet throughout dinner. Not entirely silent, he could never be, but still. It was strange. So strange that you were more talkative, though most of what you said consisted of asking him if he was okay multiple times.

Yapper!Gojo who can't help but admire how beautiful you look on the way from the restaurant. He had asked if you'd mind one more stop, a surprise. So as you sat next to him, he stole multiple glances. Eventually, something about being so close to you made his anxiety calm.

Yapper!Gojo who covers your eyes when you arrive to the spot, helping you out of the car carefully. He guides you to the spot, taking a deep breath before he uncovers your eyes and allow you to adjust.

Yapper!Gojo who watches impatiently as you blink, your eyes flitting around the area. For the first time ever, he is anxious at your silence. He can't read it, and it worries him.

Quiet!reader who looks around at the University quad. There was a specific area that had a small gazebo and a few trees, a nice little patch that Gojo and you called "your spot". it had been the place where you first spoke to him. It was the place you guys always went to relax, to talk, to destress when everywhere else got too much. and now, it was lit up with fairy lights throughout the gazebo, a hammock connecting two trees, and a small blanket laid out on the ground with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and two pillows laid on top.

Yapper!Gojo who stays silent as he waits for you to process it. Once you look at him, though, he gulps and moves closer, swiping the flowers up as he moves. He holds them out to you.

"I know this is unexpected, but I just finally wanted to tell you that I'm in love with you. And I know you don't like big, extravagant stuff, but I really need this to be perfect and still show just how much I feel for you." He slightly rambles, his hand rubbing the back of his neck in nerves.

Yapper!Gojo who is silenced by the feeling of your lips on his. His eyes flutter closed as he kisses back, the fireworks between you exploding in his chest. And even though you don't say it, he knows instantly you've felt the same,

Yapper!Gojo who reluctantly lets you pull back after a long, loving kiss. but he doesn't regret it when you whisper the four words he had been longing to hear.

"I love you too."

Quiet!reader who may not talk much, and may be able to leave things unsaid with Satoru, but will never hesitate to tell him exactly how she feels about him.

------

not proofread

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

hi - do you have any fics with scenes like the one in "but the world won't stop turning" where derek time travels and meets his mom? in this one she knows it him by scent (in her time he's 7-ish) and they just have lunch and talk bit. it's very bittersweet. i was hoping there might be more like it?

Hi anon. Let's see.

But The World Won't Stop Turning by thepsychicclam

(1/1 I 19,906 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek glances at Stiles, who is watching him with a curious expression.

“Oh shit,” Stiles exclaims as comprehension dawns on him. “Everything makes sense now. Derek, I know what the witch did, she cursed you with – “

But before Stiles is able to finish his sentence, everything fades away and Derek is surrounded by darkness.

***

A Chance Worth Taking by ash_mcj

(1/1 I 1,885 I General i Sterek)

When Derek woke up, he thought he was in a dream.

There were posters littering the familiar forest green walls that he hadn’t seen in years—Star Trek, Black Eyed Peas, even a Destiny’s Child one he had completely forgotten was on the back of his bedroom door that he’d stolen from Laura’s wall when she’d left for college. A burgundy and white letterman jacket was slung over his desk chair, bold letters spelling his surname and his basketball number across the back with Beacon Hills Cyclones Basketball on the lower half.

This wasn’t possible—this room had burned to ash years ago, and his nightmares almost never featured such simple scenes as this one. There were no foreboding feelings, no sharp smell of smoke, no guilt-inducing screams. 

And just as he was about to dig his clawed hand into his thigh in an attempt to wake himself from this maybe-dream, he remembered. ___

[or: with the help of some magic, Derek and Stiles go back in time—giving them the opportunity to save not only their future pack, but also the first one Derek lost]

Days Like These. by Missy_Moo

(6/23 I 8,801 I General I Sterek)

Derek and Stiles mated right after Stiles finished highschool, they had been trying for a baby ever since. Unfortunatly nature was against them and everything they tried had failed. Until their third and final round of IVF, they were pregnant! Deaten finds the spell to send Derek back to stop the fire on the very same day that they find oout about their pup. Now its Dereks choice, his new family or his old one.

-

Or where Derek goes back in time stops the fire, forgets about Stiles and has to find his mate all over again. While Stiles pouts his way through a virgin mary style pregnancy.

Blood of my Veins, Bone of my Body by DaoOfGay

(4/? I 10,679 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek Hale was a stupid and very proud teen. He always regretted the words he told the one that was his Soulmate... That day was the day he threw away his chance at happiness while pushing someone down a path of no return.

He regretted it so much...

Now, at such old age, he lived a lonely life. His friends, family, and others he loved- he pushed them away slowly, and he didn't even notice it. So, as he died alone, all he wanted was to go back...

"-rek, tell me this freak is lying and that you two aren't Soulmates-"

He hadn't even come to his senses- everything was so weird, but when he heard those words, his entire being screamed and he opened his mouth to say: "Of course we're Soulmates-"

There was only silence in the school cafeteria.

Back to the Beginning by erraticallyinspired

(7/? I 18,532 I Teen I Sterek)

"The last thing he can remember is turning his back to Jennifer-Julia. It was stupid, of course, because she was the Darach and knew perfectly well how to handle werewolves. [...] He has to be dead."

Jennifer knocks Derek out in the elevator, but he doesn't wake up there.

A Simple Wish by monkeyihihji

(5/5 I 23,022 I Teen I Sterek)

In less than seven days, his girlfriend had randomly broken up with him and kicked him out. He was forced to move back home to a family that seemed to not really want him. His bed was too small. And his former childhood best friend--who he just figured out he was in love with--was with someone else. Happy Birthday, Derek. It was a great week, really. The candle flickers and seems to mock him. He takes a deep breath and blows.

"I wish I could go back and fix this whole mess."

Time To Say Goodbye by matildajones

(1/1 I 34,323 I Teen I Sterek)

Derek finds an older version of himself at his front door, along with Stiles, a boy from the future.

[pastorfutureletthembe]

Just noticed something cool.

This is yuyu's account, and she was in charge of the storyboard for Y6.

And those:

Are Yuki Nakazawa's fanarts. It's fanwork. But she worked on the official content.

The last one makes the set not so innocent. Why? It was published before Y6. So it's not exactly a spoiler but we have some people with media literacy in the link click fandom. This? Not rocket science. As flashy as the dead wife trope, if you ask me.

We'll talk about the set as a whole.

Before I get into it, Yuki Nakazawa also published another fanart which, in retrospect, was an actual easter egg: "And Then There Were None"

This being established, we can assume there is something hidden there. Still, keep in mind that those are, once again, fanarts. It isn't going to stop me from noticing things. I recommend you look at each picture closely before you read any further.

First clue, which is solved: Vein is dead. Or pretending to be, probably. There are clear allusions of him leaving.

A word stands out: CAMFLAGUE. Twice actually: once on the poster and a second time on the magazine cover, concealed by Xia Fei's silhouette. This word? Not a word? it sounds a lot like CAMOUFLAGE though. Or so google keeps correcting me lmao.

which is an interesting word to hide in plain sight when you notice there are also two attempts at disguising Xia Fei as Vein: the coat and the glasses.

CAMFLAGUE is a made up 9 letters word. The Chinese tended to view life diametrically. So when a change occurred in one aspect of life, that change was a result of a change in its opposite. Therefore, as a symbol of extremity, "9" in Chinese Culture is also a warning, a turning point. In ancient Chinese Classic Yijing, or the "Book of Changes", wherever number "9" appears, it is a crucial point of change and transformation. FELIX also contains the number IX.

There is a glint to Xia Fei's left earring, a ring, and to Vein's necklace, a moon. First, earrings symbolize beauty and strength in Vaishnavism while in Hinduism, earrings symbolize elegance, strength, and identity, serving as integral ceremonial adornments, embodying transformation and the sacred nature of beauty in various narratives. Second, in tarot reading, The Moon is a card of illusion and deception, and therefore often suggests a time when something is not as it appears to be. Much to think about.

One object stands out in the bloody artwork of Vein: the blue and white Vase. Qinghua is traditional Chinese porcelain, painted in cobalt blue glaze on white porcelain. It's an art working on negative spaces. There are different patterns used for this technique, and lotus is one of them. I'm no expert in pottery, though there is obvious meaning lost in translation, as I love to tag it. However, the lotus is important motif, I can tell you that much. Mostly because of its relationship to Buddhism. Buddhism symbolism in Link Click is highly related to Vein's character (I made a long ass meta about this, go check it out if you have time to waste), specifically in term of "luck" and "enlightment".

Lastly, the artwork with Vein and the vase also show figurines of the characters in YINGDU. While a mini Lu Guang seems to be crying over a fallen Cheng Xiaoshi, Liu Xiao is looking right at Vein who is pointing at Xia Fei. It could mean many things so I won't expand on this gesture for now but it's worth mentioning.

In conclusion, I'd say there is a strong possiblity that Xia Fei might take Vein's place as Cheng Xiaoshi's killer, for revenge. He is looking for the truth and when he's going to find out who killed Vein, or who orchestrated his demise, he's going to go after them. He seems to have a good lead on people with powers too. And since he's studying applied physics, he might look for ways to give himself powers, artificially.

Of course, the presence of Liu Xiao in the fanarts and in Xia Fei's life is important but, as always, the mystery around his character makes any theory kind of pointless?

Don't worry, I still have ideas!

His relationship with Xia Fei is important to what is to come in Link Click season 3, that much is obvious.

The PV shows Liu Xiao as Xia Fei's agent or something, while Vein is watching over him from a distance, through screens. We know there is some kind of partnership between them even before that, despite the canon fact Xia Fei strongly dislikes Liu Xiao for some reasons. I think Liu Xiao is taking care of him for his own interests, though.

In Buddhism, whispering in the ear symbolizes a confidential communication method, reflecting the importance of privacy and personal expression in decision-making processes. Of course, in the context of YINGDU, we know it means Xia Fei is giving information on Cheng XIaoshi and Lu Guang to Liu Xiao, but we still don't know to what end.

Additionally, I'm working on a meta about what could be Vein, Liu Xiao and Xia Fei's powers. Basically, it's related to the fourth wall and how Link Click is starting to break it more and more in merch and other media. This meta made me think of it and I can't wait to share the concept with you all. It's based on the three wise monkeys that embody the proverbial principle "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil". Coincidentally, I do think Xia Fei is the one who speaks no evil and Liu Xiao is the one who hears no evil.

I think Xia Fei is just like Cheng Xiaoshi, emotion driven, but he's also very intelligent and surprisingly perceptive: he doesn't like Liu Xiao, he doesn't like working with/for him, he doesn't buy his friendly act. However, I don't see any future when he doesn't get used by Liu Xiao in his evil plans. With Vein out of the picture and Xia Fei's new motivation, it might not be easy to see through manipulations.

Wait and see!

Okay, that's all for today!

[gribok-art]

Another Good Omens "hear me out" moment Though I want to work on original projects the Good Omens obsession won't let me rest

I remember Jesus in the Bible being very human. After double checking today, I can see so much potential with him interacting with Aziraphale and Crowley. (A little headcanon of mine as well, maybe God was genderfluid, so some periods it was Mother, some times Father)

He prayed three times to not let himself be crucified. Even if he knew it was the plan, he still begged his (at the time) Father to not let it happen. He took his chances, although nonexistant.

He'd be quite rebellious in character it feels. Praying to stop the plan, flipping tables at the temple, letting a fig tree dry out because it didn't have fruits even though it wasn't the season.

Some specialists theorize Judas could have been a lover (or at least very close to Jesus). In Good Omens, a cool headcanon I thought of, what if Jesus got so close to Judas, loved him so much, then learned from God he must be the one to betray him, he had no choice, manipulated Judas to betray him, and Judas kissed him before they were separated. Sounds familiiaaarr.

Jesus could have felt lonely, scared, abandonned on the cross. He was going along the plan, sacrificing himself, suffering. Judas just betrayed him, and he didn't feel God was there, calling for Him. Interesting, because that could make him relatable to both Crowley and Aziraphale.

I imagined maybe he wouldn't involve himself with the system and hierarchies of Heaven. Like, during his time on Earth, it's known he would go with the poor, the sick, the sinners. If it was up to him he wouldn't be on a throne like a king. So maybe he got away and found himself some nice isolated place in Heaven, closer to the lower ranked angels. I mean, so far even with God we haven't seen Her involved much in Heaven's affairs. The Metatron acts as the messenger, but maybe he's taking decisions as well. Wouldn't be surprising if Jesus wasn't involved either, and that's why high ranked angels seem to do as they please. God just watches.

Aziraphale could be struggling to fix the system, fail, and find himself wandering far in Heaven alone, lost, and he finds Jesus, and they have a talk, and Jesus understands and relates but the plan is the plan, nothing they can do. *That's* where Aziraphale could maybe tell him about the system, how he views the innefable plan, that Jesus *can* do something about it.

Jesus could be curious about Crowley. Maybe since he's been away so long he considers like other angels that demons are unforgivable and bad, period. But because of Aziraphale he goes down on Earth to the bookshop, somehow idk gets to talk with Crowley, and they kinda actually get along, Jesus understands him, maybe realizes that the system is indeed wrong, that he viewed demons wrong.

Oooh this could be sooo interesting

Because so far we know only Aziraphale and Crowley have been among humans so long that they have some humanity and can understand the system is wrong, so they have their own side.

But there's also Jesus that literally lived as a human. And so many things he did or said or happened to him could be relatable to Azi and/or Crowley.

I feel like it has so much potential I want to draw a comic about it but a short one aaaahhh

[channiesunshinx]

𝐹𝓇𝒾(𝑒𝓃𝒹)𝓈

Day 2 of Jeongin's birthday week fanfics

Pairing: Jeongin x F!reader Genre: Fake dating, friends to lovers, drama, angst, romance, fluff, Idol!jeongin x idol!reader Warning: Media pressure, emotional conflict

Jeongin leaned back against the plush sofa in the dimly lit party hall, taking in the music, the chatter, and the drinks flowing freely around him. It wasn’t his scene, but the other members of Stray Kids had convinced him to come. And, honestly, there was someone here he wanted to see—Y/N.

Y/N was a member of a newly rising girl group- Astral, known for her captivating voice and stunning stage presence. They'd met during a variety show, and while they hadn't spent much time together, there was something about her that kept Jeongin intrigued. They'd talked a few times, hung out at industry events, and became friends.

But that night, their friendship was about to take an unexpected turn.

The paparazzi were always lurking, but Jeongin hadn't thought much of it as Y/N slipped beside him, laughing lightly at something one of the other idols had said. It was natural, comforting even, and Jeongin couldn't help but feel at ease in her company. They were talking, just as friends, when suddenly, flashes erupted.

Jeongin froze, but Y/N was quick to grab his hand, pulling him toward a more secluded area. The reporters didn't seem to care—they were all too eager to capture the story. Jeongin, now holding her hand as they dashed away, could feel his heart race, but not from the excitement of escaping the paparazzi. Something about their closeness felt... different. He didn't have much time to analyze it as they quickly found refuge in a corner behind some curtains, out of sight from the cameras.

“I think they got us,” Y/N said breathlessly, still holding his hand. She glanced up at him, and their eyes met. “This is not good.”

Jeongin could only nod. They both knew the consequences of getting caught in a compromising situation like this. But Y/N, always the professional, quickly thought of a solution.

“Let's just say we're dating,” she suggested, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “It's easier to control the narrative that way.”

Jeongin blinked in shock. “What?”

“I mean, they'll keep running with whatever they want, but at least if we say we're a couple, it won't spiral out of control.”

He hesitated. It felt wrong, but Y/N was right. With the media so eager to make up stories, their best bet was to take control. And so, they made a quick decision that night: they would fake date.

Weeks passed, and the media didn't stop. Every sighting, every conversation, every shared glance between Jeongin and Y/N was turned into a headline. “Stray Kids’'Jeongin and Astral's Y/N: K-pop's New Power Couple!” the articles would say, showing off their supposed love story with carefully crafted pictures that made the world believe they were inseparable.

At first, Jeongin had simply gone along with it. Y/N had a natural charm about her, and they were, after all, friends. It wasn’t so bad pretending to be in a relationship, even if it was for the cameras. But soon, Jeongin couldn't deny the feelings stirring in his chest. Every touch, every shared moment, seemed to make his heart beat faster. What was once an innocent ruse had slowly turned into something more—something Jeongin didn't understand.

Then came the argument.

It had been a small thing at first—misunderstandings, petty disagreements, and stress piling up. But suddenly, it escalated. They were backstage after a joint performance, both exhausted, their nerves frayed, and one comment turned into another.

“You don't get it, Jeongin!” Y/N snapped, her voice sharp. “I'm not doing this because I want to be with you—I'm doing it for our careers!”

Jeongin's chest tightened, and the words tumbled out before he could stop them. “Then why do you act like you want to be with me, huh? Why does it feel like you're doing this for more than just the media?”

Y/N froze, eyes wide, then a bitter laugh escaped her lips. “So, you think it's real? That we're actually... this?”

Jeongin's face flushed. “You're the one who suggested it. But now you're acting like I'm the one who's confused?”

They both stood there in silence, tension thick between them. Jeongin could feel his pulse racing, but Y/N just turned away, shaking her head. “I don't want to do this anymore.”

“Do what?” Jeongin asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“This whole... fake thing. I don't want to be your friend if it's like this. I just can't anymore, Jeongin.”

Her words hit him harder than he expected, like a punch to the gut. He wanted to reach out, to tell her he didn't know what was happening, that he didn't want to lose her, but he didn't know how. Before he could say anything else, she walked off, leaving Jeongin standing alone with his racing thoughts.

Later that night, Jeongin found himself pacing in the Stray Kids dorm, unable to shake the feeling that everything was slipping through his fingers. He needed advice—he needed someone to make sense of this mess.

The other members were scattered around the living room, some on their phones, some playing video games. But Jeongin went straight to Bang Chan, his leader, his friend.

“Hyung,” Jeongin began, his voice low, “I think I've messed up.”

Chan looked up from his phone, sensing the seriousness in Jeongin's tone. “What's going on?”

“I... I think I'm in love with Y/N,” Jeongin admitted, his heart pounding. “But everything's a mess. We’re supposed to be faking it for the media, but I can't stop thinking about her. And now she's mad at me.”

Chan nodded slowly, his expression softening. “Jeongin, I think you've been in love with her for a while now. But it's complicated, right? You need to be honest with yourself first. If you care about her, don't wait for the perfect moment—just tell her how you feel.”

The words hit Jeongin like a wave. He had been so focused on the fake relationship, so caught up in the public image, that he hadn' realized he was already in love. With Y/N.

That night, Jeongin couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about her—her smile, the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed, the way her hand felt in his. He realized that he didn't want to just be her friend anymore.

He gathered the courage, grabbed his coat, and left for her apartment. He wasn't going to let this fear hold him back anymore.

Y/N wasn't expecting a knock at her door at 2 a.m., but when she opened it, there stood Jeongin, looking both nervous and determined.

“I'm sorry,” he said before she could speak, his voice shaking. “I don't want to be just your friend. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for a while now. And I don't care about the media, I don't care about anything. I just want you.”

Y/N stared at him, her heart racing. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Jeongin's confession hung in the air, raw and vulnerable, and for the first time in a long while, Y/N didn't feel like a public figure. She felt like herself—just Y/N, the girl Jeongin cared about.

“I—” she began, but Jeongin stepped closer, taking her hands in his.

“I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it,” he said quietly. “But now that I do, I don't want to hide it anymore.”

Tears welled in Y/N’s eyes as she pulled him into a hug. “Me too,” she whispered against his shoulder. “Me too.”

And in that moment, with the weight of their secret lifted, Jeongin and Y/N knew they weren't just pretending anymore. They were in love—finally, and for real.

Taglist: @mihoonz, @toasty0703, @lplondynnwoo, @loxgirl2004

[hencheri]

shdjdjd i didn’t have anything in mind but ur response sparked some ideas so i’ll share but i defer to ur knowledge cuz idrk what im talking about when it comes to nct😭 /lh

i was kinda thinking about what he’d think about exhibitionism,, cuz one of his recent instagram posts was sooo slutty /pos and i was briefly thinking about him being a camboy? maybe solo stuff because i’m not sure though how he’d feel about his partner (and by partner i don’t necessarily mean romantic just ,, reader insert if ykwim like.. con or noncon…) being shown off to others… i don’t know how possessive he’d be? also could see him like. camming but then having a double standard for girls hehhe

but then i was also thinking he’s into voyeurism. i agree he’s such a perv n i love the concept of like,, he just can’t help himself, he does all these dirty nasty things without thinking or like you’d said, with the encouragement of his friends,, they’re all just feeding into each other’s nasty fantasies /pos he feels very stalker coded? also!! virgin loser incel jisung who wants to lose his virginity sooo bad and he feels he’s owed it, so either in the nohyuck au, jeno and haechan let him use you for ‘practice’ or a similar idea but like not necessarily an extension of that scenario.

i just feel like maybe once he gets an idea in his head, he has to make it reality. he fantasizes a lot but, he also needs to act on it. in one way or another. i’m kinda imagining in college where he takes pics of u in class to masturbate to when he’s at home but it gets so bad, he just throws his hand down his pants in the lecture hall and jerks off to the back of your head. ok i’m going to stop for now😭

also needed to say ur response in total but especially the last couple lines made my brain short circuit in the best way possible /pos pos pos

me reading your ask: 😼

18+ mdni.

warnings: mentions of noncon & stalking.

camboy!jisung is interesting because he definitely wants that attention. he's so horny all the damn time it makes him wonder if he doesn't have a problem, but when he posts short clips of him jerking off, and he gets so many compliments... his ego boosts up so much. jisung's the kind to like the anonymity behind it too, he'd probably answer all his messages, sending nudes back and forth with random girls online.

with a partner, though, i don't think he'd mind! like, what if he gets with a girl as dirty as him? he'd be down to make videos, but just of certain body parts, like the penetration bit, without showing their faces. and kinda toxic!jisung... but he'd do it just for the praises online :/ but the double standard!!! yes, he'd think his girl doing it alone is wrong, like he'd definitely think she's a slut or a seeking attention whore :x like, he'd just find it too dirty for a girl. she's supposed to be good and pure!

jisung so stalker coded, 100%. when he has an obsession, he doesn't let it go easily. his mind doesn't take a break, he's constantly imagining stuff and i know he's too obsessed with knowing what the real thing is that he won't stop. no because nohyuck would give him pussy. as friends, they're here to help him, and they'd let him have you for sure! but tbh, chenle would help him too. takes a girl with him, doesn't say jisung will be there... not that jisung can't pull, but also yes lol.

he makes his fantasies reality without realizing it, i think!? if he manages to be alone with you (with help or not), he'd dive in for a kiss when he thinks the moment is right. but you don't feel the same, so you pull away, but he insists and of course with his ridiculous height, he cages you easily.

but um, in the lecture hall... that's kinda hot. it's so freaky and disgusting, but he would. damn it.

[caprisunr]

Buck is Eddie's special friend

—And he's never had one of those before, so the lines between what should be romantic and what should be friendly-intended blur.

Buck is Eddie's special friend who a few months into meeting him praised his parental abilities, though his parents have always criticised him for it —the way he always seems to be dragging Chris down, by his mother's word. And Eddie believes him, because Buck knows a thing or two about parenting styles, and he got the short end of the stick before being born.

Buck is Eddie's special friend, who a few months into meeting him decided to follow Bobby's advice given when Abby was around, and stepped in to help instead of looking from the sidelines. Buck involved Carla into Eddie's life; past merging with future. And Eddie accepted the help though he doesn't usually. Eddie doesn't have any reasons why he should trust Buck, but Buck seems to know a thing or two about life, and they promised to have each other's back's —Buck looks at Eddie with hope that he never had for himself, and Eddie feels it to. There's hope for him after all.

Buck is Eddie's special friend, who he entrust with his child a year into their friendship. Who his child adores. Who he has no reason not to trust because Buck has always had Eddie's best interests.

Buck is Eddie's special friend because 'having a child is like wearing your heart on your sleeve', and : "There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you". And Buck is Eddie's special friend because : "Do you know how Christopher misses you? How could you? You're not around."

Buck is Eddie's special friend, because he doesn't see Christopher as an extension of Eddie. And in consequence Buck might as well be Christopher own's special friend, too : "Buck?" "Yeah ?" "You're a great friend"

Buck is Eddie's special friend, who watched as the life escaped from arms reach after giving someone else a second chance. He's the friend that crawled his way to him, who saved his life, who pressed on his wounds. —Not for the first time. And, "Are you hurt?" despite the fact that he was dying.

Buck is Eddie's special friend when he stayed with Christopher after the shooting. When the team didn't feel the same way after the shooting. When he made himself a target because he was the one watching his friend get shot standing there not being able to do anything to stop it.

Buck is Eddie's special friend when the latter made him his son's legal guardian in case something were to happen to him. —And didn't tell him for a year, just 'Because, Evan. (...) You think you're expendable, but you're wrong.'

Buck is Eddie's special friend when he goes out of his way to show Eddie how much of what they do is worth it. When he can set his questionable ways aside, and talk sense into him, because : "That's not how you talk about someone you're in love with." & "Is that enough?" are things just special friends do.

Buck is Eddie's special friend because when Buck died, Eddie forgot he'd been struck by lighting himself and ran up to get Buck off the rope. Because Eddie was asked to drive the ambulance because he was just too close, they were just that kind of special friends. Because : "Do more!"

And Buck is Eddie's, in a way no one was been. Because Buck is there when Christopher flees the first time —seeking for a friend, in a place he knows won't reject him. And is there when Christopher leaves the second time, to a place Eddie feels refejcetd.

Eddie is Buck special friend then, —When Buck runs away from his loft to sough comfort in Eddie's home. When Eddie let's him rest, is patience with him, gives him space to open up.

Eddie is Buck's special friend in the same way if not more than Buck is Eddie's. Because Eddie is ready to drop everything the moment Buck asks. Because that's what you do for special friends.

Because Eddie's speech about him not knowing his sister the way Chim does is reversible to them. Because Maddie knows Evan, but she doesn't know Buck, Eddie's special friend.

Eddie is Buck's special friend, because Eddie wants to go treasure haunting with him —it just so happens that Taylor is there. And he wants to play dress up with him —it just so happens that Tommy is there.

Eddie is Buck's special friend, because he's been wary of every person that's broken Buck's heart.

And Eddie is Buck's special friend when he's the friend called to talk to Buck at the hospital after Maddie is kidnapped by Doug. Because Eddie understands, because there's never been a time as angry as Eddie was where Buck didn't feel understood.

Because "That's all you ever see" translates to that's all he ever thinks about. And how pledged is his mind with images of Buck, how much he needs Buck, how present Buck is in his life. A missing piece that he wants and wants and wants. It's been Buck. BuckandChris.

Eddie, Buck; Eddie and Buck. EDDIEANDBUCK.

They're special friends because "We should bring this party to the couch"

"We?"

—And a smile. So haunting, so endearing. So understanding of what it means to be BuckandEddie.

[mrs-starkgaryen]

Well, well, well, dissecting time just so I can remind Maggie that I am in her walls (thanks you've passed your illness onto me)

1. "Afterwards, Mason pulls his clothes back on as you are absentmindedly drawing stars in the steam on the windows of his Chevy Silverado."

A) Even at home, she's dreaming/ thinking about the stars (Hollywood stars)

2. "It was good, not that you finished; you didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask, but even if he had you would have told him not to worry about it. It can take forever, especially with an audience. You’d rather wait until you’re alone."

A) Don't worry baby girl, Aegon is gonna make you finish in front of him and I'll you'll love it

3. Mason smirks and taunts: “I don’t know, with the way you talk about him you sound kind of obsessed.”

A) we all are Mason, shut up

4. “You ever feel like people are the best versions of themselves before you really know them? Then you get too close and all the cracks start showing.”

A) well I didn't like that foreshadowing

B) she's gonna get close to Aegon and we know he's a messed up man 😭

C) I'll she'll still love him though

5. “And it’s only until the end of the year,” your father adds. “Then the vacation is over.” Then the meager allowance they are funneling to you will stop and you will be ordered to return home to pursue an honorable course of existence. You have six months to succeed in Hollywood, or the dream dies."

A) Or when Aegon dies...

B) Maggie, are you in my walls? This is my family 😭

6. “Well, regardless of whatever you have going on in California, you’ll either have to get them done now or after you have children,” Mom says. “I love you and Clara and Tripp, but you destroyed my body. At least doctors can repair breasts. My bladder is still useless."

A) mother? What you doing here, loca?

B) how Sunshine is so sunny, idk. I guess you have to have rain to appreciate the sun

C) no wonder she think she needs plastic surgery- not just for Hollywood but she probably feels like she needs to live up to her parents expectations somehow (cuz she feels like she is disappointing them with her choice of job?)

7. Outside the sun is setting, and you gaze westward as the aging daylight turns the tall green grass and silhouettes of horses to gold like the mines that first brought settlers to California. You slide your phone out of the pocket of your denim shorts and take a photo, then post it to your Instagram story with the caption Home and a smiley face emoji.

A) Sunshines reminder that social media is fake lmao

B) but this is a mood- it gives crying whilst doing a thumbs up picture 😭👍🤳

Also those dogs? I love dogs but these ones are scary! The family and the dogs seem to hate her?! My God. Are they picking up on the family hostility to her?

If they don't shape up, unlike the bats- I won't mind if Jace steps on one of these.. (jk)

8. A minute later, you receive a DM. Aegon has typed: This explains the big horse girl energy

A) Aegon ever heard of playing it cool?

B) damn he's down bad

9. You have just finished ringing up a Like It-sized Apple Pie A La Cold Stone when Josh says: “Hey, there’s an old guy asking for you."

A) oh an old man, imagine if he meant Aegon-

B) HE DID! Mf ain't old

C) I also squealed like she did when I recognised the shoes 🥰

10. When Aegon begins to pull it away, you grab his hand and don’t let go until you’ve licked the spoon clean. He laughs hysterically as he watches you. “I haven’t had strawberry ice cream in forever,” you say.

A) and if I say 👀

B) foreshadowing...

C) also hello Simon Bassett from Bridgerton?

11. “Don’t tell me you’re a vanilla girl.”

A) for now Aegon...

B) He will show her the different flavours

C) also could symbolise that she is kinda naive and then as the story progresses- she's not so sweet anymore 😀

13. “It’s small,” Aegon warns. “It’s an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.”

A) said every man ever 😉😂

B) ooh will she be in season 56, episode 28?

14. “Because once you begin to treat scalpels and needles as prescriptions for everything you don’t like about yourself—or everything that other people don’t like about you—..... that are carving away your humanity one incision at a time. I’ve seen it happen to more people than I could count, and I don’t want it to happen to you. Because you seem very, very human, and I’d like you to stay that way. Which means you don’t cut yourself up because some agent or producer or casting director told you to.” Then he adds, perhaps as an afterthought: “And anyway, you don’t need implants.”

A) did he have to do something to make people (or him) like himself more?

B) omg did his dad make or encourage his siblings/ family to change to become more famous, to carry on his legacy in Hollywood? Did Aemond try and change himself and now he's took a step back into scriptwriting cuz atleast then he can control his own story?

C) she's gonna lose or nearly lose her humanity in this industry, I can see it. It's gonna break her down and then Aegon and her have feel better sex..

15. “Always so agreeable,” Aegon muses. So desperate is more like it.

A).... need I say more

16. “The Chinese zodiac. You’re a horse. So you’re the only horse I like.”

A) you're killing me

B) she's gonna like riding this horse 😭 (I'll let myself out)

17. His face is some amalgamation of emotions you can’t read, and this is unusual.“Why do you think I paid in cash?”

A) either becca is crazy

B) or his family are and they'll update becca

C) or both. Like I said before- maybe they set him up wirh becca to calm him down, to make him (the targaryens) look good in the papers

18. “I got you a vanilla latte, vanilla girl.”

A) a possible other nickname?

B) all her nicknames are cute and sunny, like her until this industry snuffs it out 😀

19. Then you are in the scenes under intensely radiant artificial light, and just like it did in your roles back in Minnesota, the real world vanishes and all that exists are these characters, these moments, and your body and mind become theirs, and perhaps even your soul too. Your husband is handsome and kind, and here in this liminal fictional space you love him, and when the surgeons wheel him off to the operating room you are full of blind naïve surety. Then the doctors update you on his condition and you are still hopeful, but it becomes a fragile thing, like something that shatters when it’s dropped from a height. And then he is dead, he has been taken away from you, he has been stolen, and you are eclipsed by a blood-red wrath that is animalistic and unforgiving. After each take when you are ripped back through the veil and into reality, you can’t remember exactly what you did or said, and the director doesn’t have many critiques so you aren’t sure how it’s going.

A) This whole thing felt like a summary for the story

B) at first she's whisked away in a world of Hollywood: glitter and glammer. She's "full of blind naive surety"..

C) Then it's she's less so but she still tries to be optimistic? As she realises this is not what she signed up for

D) husband is dead, Aegon is dead? Then she's full of rage

E) under artificial light? The Hollywood spotlight..

F) she starts to give them her body (plastic surgery), her mind (she starts to doubt and panic in fame) and then her soul (Hollywood kills her optimism and dream)

Also- Are the eyeshadows representing things?

A) In the first chapter she had shimmery, pink, warm brown eyeshadow (showing that she is warm, positive and sparkling with a dream, it's all new).

B) when she's with Mason, it's sparkly black. Like she's not 100% with him but that's okay because she still has her dream that she's gonna be able to be an actress and subconsciously be with someone better...

C) in the ice cream shop, she has bright pink- so bright in optimism still and pink meaning flirtatious feelings for Aegon?

Idk, all this is my crazy mind and I love whatever you come out with!

A Curse [Chapter 2: Harbor Gateway]

A/N: Thank you for the warm welcome you have given this series!!! I am sick with bronchitis currently so this has been a big bright spot in an otherwise miserable week 😅 I can't wait to show you where this story is going, I hope you're ready for it 🥰💜

Series summary: You are an aspiring actress. Aegon is a washed-up and disenchanted agent...at least until he sees something special in you. But within paradisical seaside Los Angeles you find terrible dangers and temptations, secrets and lies. Maybe Aegon's right; maybe the City of Angels really is a curse.

Chapter warnings: Language, a tiny bit of sexual content (18+ readers only), age-gap relationship, entertainment industry misogyny, some body dissatisfaction/dysmorphia, ice cream, judgmental parents, aggressive Akitas, we're literally in Minnesota!!!

Word count: 6.1k

💜 All my writing can be found HERE! 💜

Tagging: @lauraneedstochill @mrs-starkgaryen @chattylurker @neithriddle @ecstaticactus, more in comments! 🥰

🏝️ Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 🏝️

Afterwards, Mason pulls his clothes back on as you are absentmindedly drawing stars in the steam on the windows of his Chevy Silverado. On the other side of the glass is inky Minnesota night, a full moon dissolving away, glowing freckles of constellations. You’re staying with your parents and Mason has roommates, so the truck was the expedient choice. It was good, not that you finished; you didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask, but even if he had you would have told him not to worry about it. It can take forever, especially with an audience. You’d rather wait until you’re alone.

Mason glances down at the used condom on the floor of his Silverado, hastily discarded, viscerally slick in a way that becomes sickening in the letdown, as the endorphins and the adrenaline slip away and the blood pumps slow and unclouded. He smirks as he asks: “You sure you don’t want to get back on the pill?”

You sigh, drawing another star. You are still naked and sprawled across the back seat, glistening with sweat in the moonlight. “Well I tried three different prescriptions and had three miserable experiences, and I’m really not interested in playing side effect roulette again. And I can’t risk my skin going insane and random bleeding when I’m running around all over L.A. trying to get parts.”

“What about that little sperm assassin T-shaped thing?”

You look at him. “An IUD?”

“Yeah.”

You wince, engraving another star into the steam on the window. “I don’t think I like the idea of having a piece of metal shoved up inside me.”

He laughs. “But you’ll get silicone implants?”

You shrug; you can’t deny the irony. “I don’t need an IUD to be an actress.”

“Look, I’m not complaining about the tits thing,” Mason says, holding up his hands. “Obviously I’d enjoy them too. And you’d still have them when you move home, so it’s not a waste even if the acting thing doesn’t work out.”

You already know he feels this way, and yet still, it hurts. “When I move home?”

He smiles and crawls back on top of you, his Carleton College hoodie whispering against your belly and chest, soft royal blue cotton on damp skin. He had been a Political Science and International Relations major who took Theater Arts 195: Acting Shakespeare for an arts credit. He was beyond terrible and had no appreciation for the field whatsoever, but he was tall and strong and jolly, an earnest corn-fed Midwestern boy, and when one day after class he’d asked if he could take you to Culver’s for a burger and frozen custard, you’d said yes.

Here and now, in the back seat of his Chevy Silverado, Mason kisses your forehead. Then he ghosts his thumb over the ridge of your orbital socket and cheekbone, where your dark glittery eyeshadow has smudged like a spreading bruise: Galaxy by Anastasia Beverly Hills, Elysian by Natasha Denona. “I’m not saying you aren’t good. But how many people on this planet get to be movie stars? It’s just not realistic. And it’s about so much more than talent. It’s about who you know, and luck, and chemistry, and looks, and a bunch of other things that are mostly out of your control. You’re never going to be the type of girl who’s an influencer or winning Miss America, you’re just not. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t very, very pretty. And I loved you anyway.”

Loved, past tense. You and Mason stopped using that word a year ago; now the nostalgia is painting memories like the walls of an old house. His memories, anyway. You sit up and start yanking on your clothes: oversized yellow Santa Monica crewneck, black sweatpants with elastic cuffs at the ankles. “I think I’m going to get the gummy bear implants.”

Mason licks his lips. “Yum.”

“They’re a type of silicone, but they’re supposed to feel more natural and be less dangerous if they rupture.”

“Will you have scars?” he says as if the notion has just occurred to him, troubled, perhaps a little revolted.

“Well yeah, they have to end up under my skin somehow.”

Mason shudders, then he has another thought. “Who’s going to take care of you after surgery when you’re all sore and zonked out on opioids?”

“My roommate Baela said she would. She’s had friends who have gone through it already.”

“Okay, good. I wouldn’t want you to be alone out there.” Mason touches the back of your head, a quick fond gesture. He’s the only man you’ve ever been with, and even that took a while, months of trying to envision him undressing you before you were sure you could do it without flinching, without being afraid or shy or bewildered. But in the end it had been easy, always easy, which is why you keep coming back to him like a comet. Your elliptical orbit takes you far away and then close again, and such natural patterns are effortless to keep.

You say, the edges of your lips curling into a furtive smile: “I’m definitely not alone.”

Mason groans. “You’re going to hook up with that new agent guy, aren’t you?”

“What? No! No way, he has a fiancée.”

He rolls his eyes, but he’s more amused than annoyed. “Okay, whatever.”

“You know I don’t date anyone.” Which is why each time you’re home visiting, Mason gets a text: Want to get lunch at Culver’s? or Can you drive me to Target? or Pick me up around 9 p.m.?

Mason smirks and taunts: “I don’t know, with the way you talk about him you sound kind of obsessed.”

“I’m just grateful. Someone finally gave me a chance.” You look to the window; the steam and your hand-drawn stars have evaporated away. “And yeah, he’s interesting and he’s cute, and he’s kind of mean but then unexpectedly caring sometimes, and I think he’s one of those people who are really good at what they do but only when they’re inspired…but that doesn’t mean I’m into him romantically.” A pause. “And even if I was, there’s no harm in a super-secret, one-sided crush.”

“Okay. Have fun with all the adulterous sex.”

You chuckle. “Thanks, but that is not the plan.” You slip on your flip-flops, shimmy out of the back seat, and trot around the Silverado to the passenger’s door. Mason climbs into the driver’s seat and turns his key in the ignition. You ask: “What happened to that ballerina girl who was in your Instagram stories for a while?”

“Had to ghost her, she got super clingy and controlling. She was texting me at work all the time and got pissed off when I was putting a ton of hours into that election thing for CNN.” Mason is a political analyst. He turns to you. “You ever feel like people are the best versions of themselves before you really know them? Then you get too close and all the cracks start showing.”

“I think people are wonderful. You just have to find the ones you click with.”

“I should have figured you’d say something like that.” He steers his truck out of the otherwise empty parking lot in Lac Lavon Park. “I’m looking forward to you being home again.”

“I’m not.”

You both laugh, and then Mason drives you to your parents’ house.

At the dining room table, Mom and Clara are researching wedding venues, vast countryside estates and metropolitan historic hotels. Clara got engaged two weeks ago during a vacation to Turks and Caicos. In the living room, Dad and Tripp are watching commentary on the NBA Finals. Tripp’s name isn’t really Tripp; he is the third James in a row, named after your father and grandfather, and Tripp is short for triple. All over the house, there are Akitas lolling in plush dog beds and clicking around on Brazilian Cherry hardwood floors. They have faces like teddy bears, but their dark eyes track you mistrustfully, as if you are an intruder.

No one asks where you have been. They barely acknowledge that you are back. “Hello, dear,” your mother calls distractedly from the dining room, and that’s all. You jog upstairs to the bathroom you share with Clara before anyone can notice your smeared makeup and the unsavory post-car-sex sweat gleaming on your skin. You get into the shower, turn on water so hot it is nearly scalding, and close your eyes. With your back pressed to the jade green tiles, your hand wanders down over your belly and stops between your legs. Your mind cycles through fantasies, but nothing seems to be working.

It’s not real. It can’t hurt anybody.

You imagine that Aegon is the one touching you, and in under a minute it’s over.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I want there to be horses,” Clara says, scrolling through her phone and ignoring the food on her plate: roast chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, green beans sauteed in garlic and olive oil, panzanella salad. Mom prepared it all herself, not because there was no help available—your parents have a housekeeper named Angela who comes by several days per week—but to prove she could. In the living room are shelves heavy with books by Martha Stewart, Ina Garten, Cat Cora, Julia Child, Nigella Lawson. You hear echoes of ambient clicking, Akitas meandering down hallways and staircases.

“Horses?!” Tripp replies with a mouthful of mashed potatoes, gesturing to the sliding glass door. “Don’t you get enough horses in your everyday life? Don’t you have like five right out there?” Your parents’ house sits on ten acres of land, including a barn and several paddocks for Clara’s rescued Thoroughbreds.

“I want beautiful horses,” Clara insists. “Unusual, photogenic, so they can be in the background of all the photos. Maybe Friesians or Haflingers?”

“I’m not sure we can sort the venues by types of horses available, dear,” Mom says. All that’s on her own plate is a heap of green beans and a few pieces of skinless white meat chicken.

Clara moans and drops her face into her hands. “It’s so overwhelming!”

“You’ll find a place you like, Clara Bear,” Dad says mildly, painstakingly slicing meat off a drumstick with his fork and knife.

“And Owen is no help at all. Every time I ask for his opinion he just tells me to do whatever I think is best, but I don’t know what’s best, that’s why I’m asking him!”

Your mother pats Clara’s shoulder reassuringly. “Guys don’t care about weddings,” Tripp says, twisting around in his chair to see the television in the living room. On a rerun of E! News, the hosts are discussing Chris Hemsworth’s rigorous fitness regime and Meghan Trainor’s “mommy makeover.” You peek under the tablecloth. One of the Akitas, Yuki, is glaring as she waits for you to drop something for her to eat.

“You could do something like that,” Mom says to you, and you realize you haven’t been listening to the conversation.

“Sorry, do what?”

“You could be a wedding planner or a real estate agent. Those are actual careers, but there’s more creativity involved, isn’t there? And didn’t you take a design class in college? That would certainly come in handy.”

“Hm,” your father says with a frown, still dissecting his chicken. He would rather you go to law school like Tripp. You would rather lie down in traffic.

“I took a set design class, Mom. Because I was studying how to be an actress. And that’s what I’m doing right now in Los Angeles, trying to be an actress.”

“You could become an architect!” Mom bursts out with sudden enthusiasm. “Wouldn’t that be fun?”

You titter evasively. “I can’t draw, Mom. Or use the modeling software, or do math.”

“You know, you don’t need any specific degree to get into law school,” Tripp says, and your father gives him a nod of approval. “You could have majored in dance or bagpiping or Egyptology, it doesn’t matter. All they want is a high undergrad GPA and a 168+ LSAT score, and I bet you could get that if you studied. You can even retake the test a few times if you need to.”

“Why do you do that?” Clara snaps at him. You eat your panzanella salad and pretend not to be listening. Beneath the tablecloth, Yuki growls. You toss her a few cubes of Italian bread so she won’t bite you.

Tripp shovels mashed potatoes into his mouth. “Do what?”

“Why are you always wasting your time trying to convince her to grow up and get a real job? If she wants to embarrass herself, let her. I have problems that I’m trying to solve, so how about applying yourself to those instead?”

“Are you serious? You think I should be calling around to wedding venues asking about their selection of exotic draft horses?”

Clara aggressively stabs at her green beans with her fork. “Fuck off, Tripp.”

“Hey, hey, kids, no swearing,” your mother says. “It’s Father’s Day. Be respectful.”

Dad turns to you. “You could be an entertainment lawyer, how about that? You could work in intellectual property or negotiating contracts.”

You smile warily. “I’ll think about it, Dad.”

Clara says to your parents: “Well I hope all the money you’re throwing out the window to support her in California isn’t coming out of my wedding fund.”

You close your eyes and think: I can’t spend my life in a cubical. I can’t spend every minute of every day trying to forget who I am.

“Shh, shh,” your mother pleads, rubbing the back of Clara’s clenched hand. “You will get exactly what we promised you, that amount is still set aside for your wedding. Nothing she does affects you.”

“And it’s only until the end of the year,” your father adds. “Then the vacation is over.” Then the meager allowance they are funneling to you will stop and you will be ordered to return home to pursue an honorable course of existence. You have six months to succeed in Hollywood, or the dream dies.

Your father is now asking Tripp about his summer associate position at Latham & Watkins in Chicago. Your mother is advising Clara to get a wedding dress with a corset back so it can be adjusted in the event she gains or loses weight at the last minute. Underneath the table, Yuki is growling again; she noses your knees threateningly.

“I got an agent,” you say, and everyone looks at you.

“Really?” Mom asks, sounding a little perplexed.

“Who is it?” Dad says.

“Aegon Targaryen. He has a small office in Elysian Park.”

“Oh, I think I recognize the last name.”

“His family is in the industry.” You are beaming; you can feel the heat rising in your face. “But Aegon kind of does his own thing and tries to stay out of the limelight. He was an actor when he was my age. And I guess he thinks I can get roles, so that’s really exciting.”

Your mother seems concerned as she nibbles at a shred of white meat. “Is he an older man?”

“Not that much older. He’s thirty-five.”

“Well, be careful, darling,” your father says gravely. “Who knows what his intentions are.”

Clara evidently agrees. “Men can be so creepy. I had this one professor in pharmacy school who cheated on his wife with one student, then cheated on her six months later with a different student. And then he retired to Boca Raton and was never heard from again.”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Tripp says to your father. “We read about Clinton v. Jones in torts class, it was wild, I didn’t know he was such a freak even before the Monica Lewinsky thing…”

After dinner, while your father and Tripp are flipping through television channels in the living room and Clara is upstairs on the phone with Owen, you go to the kitchen where your mother is washing dishes in a bubble-filled sink. Again, she doesn’t have to do this; Angela will be here to clean the house tomorrow. But it’s part of being a perfect homemaker, and if she’s not good at this then she’s not good at anything.

She glances over when she hears you come in. “Did you get an appointment with one of the doctors your father recommended?”

“I did, yeah. I have a consultation on Friday.” You lean against the marble countertop and cross your arms so you don’t fidget nervously. From a dog bed on the floor, Mochi glowers at you. “Do you think I should get the surgery?”

She shrugs; you’re not certain if she is more indecisive or apathetic. “Your cousin Madison had a nose job the summer before college. Your old classmate Emma got a blepharoplasty and then met her husband three months later. Practically all of my friends have had breast augmentations, and I’ve certainly never regretted mine. I think if you’re going to get anything fixed, it makes sense to pick that.”

You try again to elicit a strong opinion, whether an endorsement or objection. “I don’t think I’d want to do it if I didn’t feel like it was necessary to be an actress.”

“Well, regardless of whatever you have going on in California, you’ll either have to get them done now or after you have children,” Mom says. “I love you and Clara and Tripp, but you destroyed my body. At least doctors can repair breasts. My bladder is still useless.”

You stare at Mochi distractedly. The dog huffs, unwelcoming. “What was the recovery like?”

“Oh, hell,” your mother says. “But once you heal up it’s worth it. I can wear square necklines and strapless dresses again.”

“Technically, you could have worn whatever you wanted.”

She gives you an impatient look, a you’re too old for that sort of frustration. “No one wants to see some sad flabby woman.” She is including your father in this statement. You remember being home for Thanksgiving Break during your freshman year at Carleton and inadvertently stumbling upon emails from one of the hospital interns when you used his laptop to buy movie tickets: indecent inuendoes, flirtatious photos, no smoking gun but certainly more than was appropriate between colleagues. You had tried to tell your mother, and she had deflected over and over again until you realized that she didn’t want to know; it was easier to be carried by the currents of momentum than to rock the boat until it sank. “This agent of yours…is he celebrating Father’s Day with his family?”

“No, Aegon lost his dad when he was in college.”

“That must have been difficult,” she says vaguely as she scrubs a pot with a green Scotch-Brite dish wand. Your parents are now at the age when their friends have begun to succumb to strokes and heart disease and cancers, and the lurking specter of mortality both horrifies and fascinates them. “What did he die of?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Mom?!” Clara shouts from upstairs. “Osaka is puking in the hallway!”

Your mother sighs and dries her hands on a dish towel, then leaves you alone in the kitchen. You linger there for a while, listening to the faint drone of CNN from the living room television, then leave the house through the sliding glass door in the dining room. Outside the sun is setting, and you gaze westward as the aging daylight turns the tall green grass and silhouettes of horses to gold like the mines that first brought settlers to California. You slide your phone out of the pocket of your denim shorts and take a photo, then post it to your Instagram story with the caption Home and a smiley face emoji.

A minute later, you receive a DM. Aegon has typed: This explains the big horse girl energy

You laugh and respond: They belong to my sister, I am personally very anti-horse

You hope he’ll continue the conversation. You don’t have to wait long. How’s Minnesota? Aegon asks.

You stop and consider how to answer, then decide not to overshare. Devoid of palm trees…but good!

There is a pause—perhaps thirty seconds—and then Aegon types: How’s the ex-boyfriend?

Is he curious or jealous? You smile. Still not standing in the way of anything :)

Aegon reacts with a heart emoji, then immediately switches it to a thumbs-up. You cannot ignore the wave of warmth and fondness and exhilaration that overwhelms you. Logically, you know he’s engaged to another woman. Emotionally, it doesn’t seem relevant.

You think: It’s just a crush. It can’t hurt anybody.

Then you remember what your mother asked, and as you stand outside in the fading dusk light you Google Aegon’s father Viserys Targaryen. He has his own Wikipedia page. You scroll to the bottom, where it reads in nondescript black letters: On October 27, 2009, Targaryen passed away at his Malibu residence after a long illness.

~~~~~~~~~~

You have just finished ringing up a Like It-sized Apple Pie A La Cold Stone when Josh says: “Hey, there’s an old guy asking for you.”

“What?” You look towards the ice cream freezer and there he is, dark jeans, green Nike Killshots, a yellow Hawaiian shirt that’s too big for him. “It’s my agent!” you shout as you rush over to meet him, loud enough that everyone in the shop turns to stare.

“Shh,” Aegon says, but he’s laughing.

“What are you doing here?” you ask from behind the counter.

“I got some good news, and I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Cool! Should I make you ice cream first?”

“Um, sure.” Aegon surveys the menu of Signature Creations. He seems overwhelmed; he actually looks a little panicked.

“Are you usually a chocolate or vanilla person? Or peanut butter, or coffee? Or mint?”

“Strawberry,” Aegon says.

“Strawberry,” you echo, surprised. “Okay, I think you’ll like Our Strawberry Blonde.”

“Neat.”

“Because, you know, it has strawberries and you’re blonde.”

“Sounds literally perfect for me,” Aegon says, smiling.

“What size?”

“Uh…” He reads the labels on the cups in the display case. “The big one.”

“No, you have to say the real name.”

He chuckles. His cheeks are pink, his turbulent blue eyes sparkling. “I’m not saying that.”

“Then I’m not making you ice cream!”

He groans. “I want an Our Strawberry Blonde in the size Gotta Have It.”

“Cup, cone, or waffle cone bowl?”

“Stop asking me questions or you’re fired.”

“Waffle cone bowl,” you decide. Aegon studies you as you work, his head tilted thoughtfully to the side: scraping a mound of strawberry ice cream out of the freezer with your metal spatulas, taking it to the cold countertop, and smashing in graham cracker pie crust, caramel, fluffy whipped topping, and fresh strawberries. You use one of the spatulas to expertly scoop the mixture into a waffle cone bowl, not spilling a drop. Then you hand Aegon his ice cream and ring him up at the cash register. He pays in cash.

You ask Josh, the manager on duty, if you can take your fifteen-minute break now. He frowns. “I thought you were going to refill the yellow cake and Oreo cookie mix-ins first.”

“Hey,” Aegon says. He waves a ten-dollar bill in the air to show it to Josh and then dunks it in the tip jar. “Do it yourself.”

“Fine,” Josh mutters to you. “But you don’t get a second over fifteen minutes.”

There’s no time to waste. You hurry to a small table by the window. It’s 8:30 p.m., and outside the world is indigo-dark and threaded with inorganic sparks of headlights, streetlights, kaleidoscopic neon signs. Your eyeshadow is vibrant and pink, because no one cares about that when you work at an ice cream shop: Push by Natasha Denona, Coax by Urban Decay.

Aegon takes his first taste of his ice cream as he sits down in the chair across from you. “You were right, this is delicious. A bop, not a flop.” Then he notices the bruise on your right wrist. “What the hell happened to your hand?”

“Oh. One of the Akitas bit me. Don’t worry, I can cover it up with concealer.”

Aegon is irritated. “Why is your mother letting her Akitas bite you?”

“It was my fault. I forgot that Oni doesn’t like when people pet his feet.”

Aegon sighs, stirring his Our Strawberry Blonde. “You want some of this?”

“I can’t,” you say reluctantly.

He raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I already had a little cup when I got here this afternoon so I have regrettably hit my ice cream quota for the day.” And then, when Aegon clearly does not approve: “I try not to restrict too much but obviously staying the same size takes effort. That’s not a disorder, it’s just reality.”

Aegon seems to debate arguing, then instead scoops up a heaping spoonful of ice cream and holds it out across the table. “Come on. It doesn’t count if it’s on my spoon.”

You smile sheepishly and open your mouth for him. Your lips close around the plastic spoon: coldness, sweetness, the grit of pulverized graham cracker pie crust, the infinitesimal black seeds of strawberries that catch between your teeth. When Aegon begins to pull it away, you grab his hand and don’t let go until you’ve licked the spoon clean. He laughs hysterically as he watches you. “I haven’t had strawberry ice cream in forever,” you say.

“Don’t tell me you’re a vanilla girl.”

“I am,” you confess. “I know the joke. But I really do always get the vanilla-adjacent flavors. Cookie dough, French vanilla, sweet cream, cheesecake…”

Aegon smirks playfully. “Pathetic.”

“So you’re an enlightened being because you eat strawberry ice cream.”

“Boring people like vanilla. Kids like chocolate. Interesting adults like strawberry.”

“Do you actually have good news for me or did you just come here to be a ghoul?”

“I got you a part.”

“What?!” you squeal, and people are gawking again. This time, Aegon doesn’t tell you to be quiet. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” he replies, grinning like he can’t help it.

“A part in what?”

“It’s small,” Aegon warns. “It’s an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.”

You scream; Josh scowls at you from behind the counter. “Oh my God, no way, no way!”

“You’re going to be the wife of a guy the doctors kill with negligence. Three scenes, two are pretty short and unremarkable but then you get to yell at the surgeon in the last one. Gives you the opportunity to show some range and make an impression.”

You can’t believe this is happening. “They aren’t going to make me audition first?”

“Well…it’s very last-minute,” Aegon says. “The actress who was supposed to do it has a drug problem or something, I guess, so she ghosted and they were scrambling for a replacement. And I completely fabricated your credentials.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, I typed up a resume and sent it over and they loved it. So try not to talk about your actual experience because none of it will match.”

You shake your head, stunned, amazed. “What if they try to contact one of my alleged former employers?”

“Then they’ll be talking to Aemond, and he will lie and say you were an absolute pleasure to work with.”

Aemond Targaryen: Aegon’s younger brother, a screenwriter, a philanthropist, a well-respected entity in Hollywood, and you know this from the Googling that preceded your first meeting with Aegon last week. “And Aemond doesn’t mind helping you commit fraud?”

“It’s not a favor I call in very often.” Aegon finishes his ice cream, then begins breaking apart the waffle cone bowl and shoving shard-like pieces into his mouth.

“When’s the shoot?”

“Very very early on Thursday, that’s the bad news.” Thursday is two days from now. “So I’ll have to pick you up at your apartment at like 5 a.m.”

“That’s fine. I’ll be ready.”

He smiles, gnawing on a chunk of his waffle cone bowl. “I figured.”

“You’re going too?” The hope is unmistakable in your voice.

“Of course I’m going.”

“I didn’t think agents usually went to film shoots.”

“Well, fortunately for you, your agent is imminently fleeing Los Angeles and has already parted ways with most of his clients and really has nothing else going on besides hiding in his office and playing a Nintendo 64, so I figured I could make it. And also if I’m going to be enthusiastically recommending you to people, I should probably see you work at some point.”

You wiggle your eyebrows flirtatiously. “Do I get to make out with my fake husband?”

Aegon is amused. “From what I understand, you get to chastely kiss him once. They’re sending the script over to my office first thing in the morning, so you’ll only have a day to learn your lines.”

“That’s enough time. I’ll make it work.”

“Always so agreeable,” Aegon muses. So desperate is more like it.

Thursday. “Is the shoot just one day?”

“Yeah, they should be able to get everything they need from you on Thursday morning. Why?”

“I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday and I was just wondering if I’d have to reschedule it.”

Aegon is immediately vigilant. “What kind of appointment?”

“Uh…” You smirk guiltily. “It’s just a consultation. No slicing yet.”

“And you’re going to cancel that,” Aegon says flatly.

“Seriously?”

“Do you want implants because you want them or because you think other people want you to have them?”

You hesitate. “Both.” That’s probably a lie.

Aegon leans back in his chair and studies you. “Yeah, you’re cancelling that appointment.”

“Why?”

“Because when I agreed to sign you, you told me that you’d do anything I say. And I’m telling you to cancel it.”

“But why don’t you want me to get implants? Everyone gets implants.”

“Because once you begin to treat scalpels and needles as prescriptions for everything you don’t like about yourself—or everything that other people don’t like about you—it’s very difficult to stop. First it’s your tits, then it’s your eyes and your nose, then it’s your chin and your cheeks and your neck and your ass, and it’s just this revolving door of painful, dangerous, unnecessary procedures that are condemning you for being mortal, that are carving away your humanity one incision at a time. I’ve seen it happen to more people than I could count, and I don’t want it to happen to you. Because you seem very, very human, and I’d like you to stay that way. Which means you don’t cut yourself up because some agent or producer or casting director told you to.” Then he adds, perhaps as an afterthought: “And anyway, you don’t need implants.”

You smile, then reply quietly: “You’ve never seen me.”

Aegon grins. “I don’t care if you have twelve nipples under there like a fucking beagle, you don’t need plastic surgery.”

You both laugh, and the tension evaporates, and even if you don’t cancel the appointment—Aegon is one person, the entertainment industry is omnipotent and eternal—you are glad he seems to like you the way you are. Behind the counter, Josh is waving manically to get your attention and summon you to return to work. You pretend not to see him.

Aegon asks: “Why don’t you like horses?”

“They freak me out. They’re all teeth and legs and they’re huge, I’m always scared they’ll step on me.”

“Your dad’s a doctor, right? I thought all rich girls had horses.”

“Where I’m from, a lot of women ride horses to distract themselves from the fact that their husbands are riding their receptionists or interns. I’d rather have no horse and no awful cheating husband.” And Aegon stares at you and turns serious, because perhaps you’ve inadvertently addressed the elephant in the room: he has a fiancée, and neither of you are acting like she exists. You swiftly pivot. “I’ll make an exception for you, though.”

He appears startled. “What?”

“The Chinese zodiac. You’re a horse. So you’re the only horse I like.”

“Oh, yeah. Right.” Aegon chuckles uneasily and gets up to throw his trash away, then stands under the florescent lights with his hands in his pockets, his blonde hair falling out of its gel and hanging over his forehead. He gazes down at you pensively; you are still seated at the table. “When does your shift end?”

“I’m closing tonight, so I’ll be done around 10:30 or 11.”

“Okay. Can I come back to pick you up and drive you home?”

You are puzzled. “Why?”

He gestures to the inky dark window, incredulous. “Because obviously you shouldn’t be walking alone in Harbor Gateway at midnight? You know there was a shooting a block from here last week. I looked it up.”

“I walk home all the time.”

“You really need to stop doing that.”

“You are being very dramatic for a non-actor.”

“Listen, I can’t go to my house and try to fall asleep while I’m wondering if you’re getting mugged or murdered.”

You look at Aegon. He does seem genuinely worried. “You can drive me home.”

“Great. See you in two hours.” He strides away and shoves open the glass door; the little metal bells hanging there jingle.

“Aegon?”

He halts mid-step and turns around. “Yeah?”

“Does Becca know where you are right now?”

His face is some amalgamation of emotions you can’t read, and this is unusual.“Why do you think I paid in cash?”

And before you can reply, he’s gone.

~~~~~~~~~~

On Thursday, June 19th, Aegon picks you up in his white Chrysler Sebring convertible while the city is still asleep. The sky is dark, the streetlights passing by overhead, infinite pinpoint supernovas. There are hardly any other cars on the road. Aegon’s hair is a mess and his eyes are bleary; he’s sipping a Starbucks coffee with one hand and holding the steering wheel with the other. He is wearing a suit, but he still manages to look unpolished, his white shirt half-untucked and his black tie too skinny. He sets his coffee down in one of the cup holders and passes you something venti-sized and iced.

“I got you a vanilla latte, vanilla girl.”

“Aw, thanks! Skim milk?”

“Nope,” he says, smiling. You smile back and take a gulp of it, cold and sweet and bracing. “What’s your hype song?”

“I can’t tell you,” you say, embarrassed.

“Why not?”

“You’re going to terrorize me.”

“Don’t Stop Believing? Don’t Stop Me Now? I Gotta Feeling?”

“Lose Yourself.”

Aegon throws back his head and cackles, his hair flying in the wind. “That’s definitely a fireable offense. I’m ditching you the second we finish this shoot.” But he taps around on his phone and plugs in the aux, and then Eminem is thudding through the speakers as the Sebring sails north and the red-gold dawn rises on the horizon, a celestial message from the East Coast, an omen from the future.

Aegon drives you to Prospect Studios in Los Feliz, just east of Hollywood. Filming will be indoors on a soundstage. You spend what feels like forever in hair and makeup, and the costume designer—who had prepared for a different actress—dresses and redresses you over and over again, frowning at your chest and waist and thighs, and you have a sudden pang of nauseating panic and dread: I don’t belong here. What the fuck was I thinking?

Then you are in the scenes under intensely radiant artificial light, and just like it did in your roles back in Minnesota, the real world vanishes and all that exists are these characters, these moments, and your body and mind become theirs, and perhaps even your soul too. Your husband is handsome and kind, and here in this liminal fictional space you love him, and when the surgeons wheel him off to the operating room you are full of blind naïve surety. Then the doctors update you on his condition and you are still hopeful, but it becomes a fragile thing, like something that shatters when it’s dropped from a height. And then he is dead, he has been taken away from you, he has been stolen, and you are eclipsed by a blood-red wrath that is animalistic and unforgiving. After each take when you are ripped back through the veil and into reality, you can’t remember exactly what you did or said, and the director doesn’t have many critiques so you aren’t sure how it’s going.

But when it’s over, while you are still standing on the soundstage with the other actors, Aegon puts on his sunglasses and smiles at you from across the room; and you remember what he said outside his office on the day you first met—you are so bright, sunshine—and you know you’ve done a good job.

[summerwriting]

banner belongs to @dollywons

Author's note: i am probably going to make a part two or turn this into a little series. Also head Canon readers colour is pastel blue. Also sorry about spelling mistakes if there is any, I'm dyslexic. i am also taking requests if you're interested check out arcane writing requests

A OLD FRIEND

You worked yourself through most of your nights, and they were normally quiet and consisted of the same repetitive activities. Serves a drunk dude kicks him out serves a drunk dude gets hit on kicks him out serves a another stupid fucking drunk dude and kicks him out again. Ok so Maybe they Weren't quiet, but it was a normal Night for you. What you were not expecting to happen on your Regular Saturday night shift was an old Friend that you thought was dead walking into the bar.

“I'll get a beer” is the first thing she said to you. She definitely Didn't recognise you. That's for sure  oh boy you were going to have fun that Night.

“Coming up, vi” you snickered, shaking your head.

“How do yo– oh haha very funny, don't you Dare say it's written on my face” Vi snapped at you.

“Well it is, but would you prefer me call you Violet, Violet” you say leaning on the Counter. There was a smirk on your face 

“Im sorry what who the fuck are you and why the fuck do you know my name and i mean my full name” she got Defensive real fast wich made you Laugh and roll your eyes.

“Mmmm you'll just have to figure it out won't you” you grabbed a glass “violet” you add her name at the end just to tort her. You filled the glass full of beer, all the while vi’s eyes Scanned over you Suspicion and cautiousness in her Gaze.   

“Ok thats not funny, who the fuck are you Bitch!!!” she snapped angrily her hands went down hard on the table her voice was loud and Obnoxious almost like Shame wasn't something she even had thought of. The people in the bar went quiet at the Sudden yell and their eyes went to her and well… you.

“You might want to be quieter, girly,”  you said, slipping her glass over to her with a smile on your lips. It didn't take long for everyone to go back to their original conversations.

“How do you know who i am?, talk” her voice came out threatening and her demeanour came off as Intimidating but not to you. 

“You'll just have to remember me. I can't be that forgettable can i?”you took a seat on your side of the counter resting your head in your hands your head tilted to the side.

“Just tell me who you are,” Vi demanded. Your Eyebrows furrowed in disappointment

“I'm Y/N, you seriously couldn't recognise me?” you asked.

“Oh god” vi’s eyes widened with sock and they seemed to Light up. She Launched forward, jumping over the Counter, wrapping her arms around you. You smiled and  wrapped your arms around Vi as well. “I can't believe this, i thought i'd never see you again” her hug was so warm and comforting and loving, it brought back old memories for you and her. you remembered the butterflies you would get when she would hug you like this or hold your hand or wrap her arm around your shoulder and when she would look at you with her big beautiful blue eyes the ones she was looking at you with right now.

“You thought that. i thought you were dead” you cupped her cheek. your eyes searching hers.

“I'm so sorry sweets i was- i was- well it's a long story” vi coked out. Her hands came up to grip both sides of your face. 

“Where have you been?”you asked, you needed to know you hadn't seen her in 7 years and she just showed up like the walking dead.

“I was arrested and shoved into stillwater for 7 years and then some enforcer got me out and i went looking for powder and well im sure you know about jinx and then well me and that enforcer kissed and then i stopped her from killing a kid and then she hit me and now i'm a drunk liveing in some shity apartment.” well that was a mouthful and a lot of information for you to take in. The two things that stuck was that she had been to prison and she's been in a Relationship with an enforcer which made it even worse, because yes you were a little jealous which was stuped. you Hadn't seen her in 7 fucking years, you Shouldn't feel that she was just some silly Little crush you had when you where little that was never Reciprocated.( Because you were like 11 and she was 15 but thats not the case now)

[desperaterebelrunaway]

The first time I saw the tv glow, I couldn't have been more than six years old

I didn't quite understand the feeling, but I knew I was different

My cousins and I played house, and they wanted me to be the big sister, but that didn't feel right to me

"But I'm a boy," I said, calm as could be

This sent my little cousin into a crying fit, where she ran upstairs and told my aunt what I had said

I was scolded by my aunt and grandma and told to never say those words again, so I didn't

The next time I saw the tv glow, I was twelve years old

I saw Cher's son on tv, talking about his transition

I told my mom that summer that I thought I might be like him, so we gave my wardrobe a makeover and tried on new names

When school started that fall, I got called a dyke, a tranny, and a fag

I'd lost all my friends, so I became Her again

The tv would glow more throughout my teenage years, more consistently and more frequently than before

The ever growing social media gave me access to things I had only dreamed of before

My mother took me to the doctor, to the therapist, and tried all my new names

She said she'd always love me, that would never change

I would go on to keep running, afraid of my true self

Every time I stuck my foot out of the closet, I just fell

Then one day when I was twenty one

My mom and I watched a film, I Saw The TV Glow

And finally, I had a way to describe this feeling to others

When the movie was over, I quietly said

"You know, I have to bury her alive. It's hard"

And my mother, without missing a beat, replied

"She'll suffocate, but won't it finally be nice to stop running from him?"

I thought it was such a nice sentiment

So I buried that girl alive, though I still hold her dear to my heart

She tried so hard to be right, but we were always meant to part

Now I stand in the light, letting him show his glory

And I'm here now, telling you my story

So as the movie says, and I'll tell you too

My friends, there is still time

You can always choose to be you.

Another piece inspired by I Saw The TV Glow, this one I've been working on since the other day, when I initially saw the film. Basically, my mother has always been my biggest supporter, even when I don't always support myself. She's always encouraged me to be myself, and we had a long conversation after this movie, only a snippet of which I included. I finally decided it was time to stop running from myself.

[jounossloverr]

TALKING ABOUT THE BSD CHAPTER 121‼️

Chapter 121 spoilers + the whole arc

Today I'd like to talk about 3 things in this new chapter.

1. About Atsushi

2. About Fyodor

3. About "Hallucination Dazai"

ATSUSHI:

This scene reminds us of something, right? This is now the second time that Atsushi got tricked by Fyodor, also a few minutes after the last trick.

Why did he let himself get tricked when it was so obvious?

Atsushi cares deeply for the Agency members as we know and right know he tries to bring them back again. He probably had a feeling it'd be a trick, but he clinged onto the hope to save everybody and didn't want it to let go, even when there was a high chance it wouldn't be that easy. The "what if" thoughts were in the back of his head and the "I'll save them" thoughts were right at front. He putted his emotions before logic, because that's how much he cares about the Agency.

FYODOR:

Why would Fyodor do this in such cruel way?

Many people who claims that Fyodor does all this because "he feels like it" will claim that he did this because he loves seeing suffering and hurting people.

My opinion is, he did that because he wanted to destroy Atsushi's hope once and for all to save the Agency. The agency was in Fyodor's way, that's why they died and Fyodor knows the Agency is very strong willed, they won't stop until they're dead. So if they're gonna get killed anyway, why bring back the dead? There was no other way then to kill them if they were getting in the way, and Fyodor does not want that. That's why he ripped it infront of Atsushi's eyes, wanting that Atsushi stops having that hope, when that won't happen. Maybe he also wanted Atsushi to see that it will be better if no abilities exist in this world, for the greater good.

And that's also the reason why when Atsushi broke down and lost the hope, Fyodor said: "That's what I wanted to see."

HALLUCINATION DAZAI:

Always when Atsushi is in despair, a hallucination of Dazai comes in his mind, helping Atsushi with his way.

Why does that happen and why Dazai?

I have two theories on that.

1st theory:

I think that Dazai is someone Atsushi looks up to. He is his mentor and helped him with his self esteem and personal growth.

And my opinion is now, that the words Atsushi always hears from the Hallucination is actually his own. He just doesn't know it because of his low self-esteem and the words are deep buried. And like I said before, the person is Dazai who he is hallucinating is because he is the reason why he is more confident than he was in the past.

2nd theory:

We know that Atsushi also had hallucination of his Headmaster in the past, it was negative though, but he healed from it. There's also a high reason that the Hallucination Dazai we see, can actually be the Headmaster.

But why do they show Dazai then?

When Atsushi hallucinated the Headmaster, it was always negative and it was very bad for his mental health, it triggered him every time he showed up in his mind. And like I said before he healed from it and it didn't appear again. So it can be because of that, someone who Atsushi cares about shows up instead. Dazai.

The Headmaster abused Atsushi very bad after the orphanage found out that he has an tiger ability. But we know the real reason behind it. The Headmaster wanted to teach Atsushi in a tough and abusive way how harsh the real world is and wanted to prepare him. He also wanted him to protect the weak with the ability of his and save them. That's why he told him:

And two other reasons why I think that can actually be the Headmaster is because of this panel:

"Save lives" really reminds me of the Headmaster when he told that Atsushi. Because of those words, Atsushi realised who that hallucination really is.

And the second reason is...

I dont think that this person is Dazai. Doesn't Dazai have hair by his cheeks? In this panel there's no hair by the cheeks. This is the Headmaster. That's why Atsushi looked so shocked too, because he realised it.

It also can be that the Hallucination is a mix of Dazai and the Headmaster!

That's all! If this is true then I'll be really happy.