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landlordrecords · 2 years ago

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(My) Film 2022

As posted previously, the last year & a half I have been massively catching up with films (which I far too often neglect), just really trying to get to the point where I’ve seen a much vaster array of the sort of thing I like than I had previously (usually, it’s dox straight to the top of the list - not all of those might be covered below - and TV stuff, often with the missus, plus a smattering of art house & stoopid comedies & action films, plus an increasing line in so-bad-they’re-good ones). As I’ve been sending micro-reviews to a couple of fellow fans on email (Messrs Taylor & Stokoe), & I saw a couple of facebook pals had been listing out their entire year’s viewing (Messrs Fisher & Fishead), I thought it’d be easy enough to copy & paste over my own...not quite their numbers here, but still 185, which is an insane uptick from the few dozen I probably often do! I haven’t bothered with release dates, but have said where they are originals etc. I barely ever re-watch films, so they’re all first viewings unless I’ve said otherwise. With the streaming era, I’ve also started & quickly stopped gawd knows how many others, life isn’t long enough - I never thought I’d see so many title sequences!

The plan is that this period will stop soon, & I will move on to do a similar job on books, but I still probably have something like 100 DVDs, rips & videos here that I’ve never got round to, plus a similar-sized list of ones I want to see but can’t find cheap/free, so...

1. Police Academy, and...

2. Naked Gun (both of which had me laughing like a drain)

3. Casablanca (third time, I think, with the missus this time, still boss)

4. Requiem For A Dream (v good if maybe slightly dated now, seemed to freak out the missus & Kate Hobs good & proper)

5. Prisoners (almost forgotten this now - pretty pro, enjoyed it at the time)

6. Gone Baby Gone (same, similar topic)

7. OG Robocop (another classic I'd never seen - boss)

8. The Ipcress File (pretty darn good)

9. When A Stranger Calls (knew too much about it before I saw it, but v good stuff)

10. Away (Timothy Spall, in Blackpool - really liked this, partly cos of the location)

11. The Brood (very good)

12. The Killing of A Sacred Deer (very good)

13. 9th Gate (a bit silly in places, but I really liked this, good interesting subject matter)

14-19. Started watching all the Batmans since 89, cos I'd never seen any of em...89 one seriously dated now...Batman Returns poss my least fave, all that Danny DeVito stuff...Batman Forever (poss liked this slightly more than other people do, I'm down for the camp), Batman & Robin (the one I was keen to see, on my 'so bad it's good' tip, maybe not quite as excitingly bad as I wanted, but still impressively so)...Batman Begins & The Dark Knight (pretty darn good, although I'm not sure they QUITE deserve the absurd adulation)...stalled there cos missus wants to watch the rest with me...

20. Once Upon A Time In America (classic)

21. Prevenge (not bad)

22. Scum (classic)

23. Secretary (had not QUITE seen all of it before, v good)

24. Kimi (not bad)

25. Paterson (I enjoyed this, although it's a bit inconsequential)

26-27. Hannibal & Red Dragon (I kinda watched these cos I could - one I had seen before - they were alright, not as good as Silence of the Lambs)

28. The new West Side Story (completely pointless but a treat, love the original & all versions of the music)

29-30. Bad Karma & Drillbit (didn't know about this guy before, GREAT!)

31. Life Is Cheap (locally-made, not really distributed properly, John Waters-esque horror)

32. The Violators (I thought this was pretty good)

33. OG Funny Games (classic if uncomfortable)

34. Jaws (classic, can't believe I'd never seen it before)

35. Muriel's Wedding (had seen this before. A fave with the missus. Good soother while I had Covid, as was...)

36-37. Meet the Parents & Meet the Fockers (for the second or third time, I discovered recently that the first is a remake, & I tried to watch the original, but it was too amateurish even for me)

38. Mope (I really enjoyed this)

39. Metal Lords (I think metal fans have been disparaging about this, but I kinda enjoyed it)

40. Punch-Drunk Love (really good)

41-65. Bond season: see Landlord Records, Bond, ALL Bond I'm sure you pretty much have to... (tumblr.com)

66. Mark Cousins Story of Film new bit (the whole "looking but not looking, seeing yet not seeing"-type stuff wears a bit thin, but he does know his oats)

67. Baby Driver (good stuff)

68. Dogtooth (very good, prob better than Sacred Deer for me)

69. Spring Breakers (atmospheric nonsense from Korine, I kinda liked it)

70. Dune (one of the last Lynch ones I hadn't seen - a Lynch fan has to see it, but as incomprehensible - or at least an as overly encyclopaedic translation of the novel - as people always say)

71-72ish. Some Kenneth Anger shorts (top)

73. Some Like It Hot (classic)

74. Taken (enjoyed it for what it was, & also left the whole thing on later in the year on telly, so seen twice this year, must be OK!)

75. Lost Highway (not his best but interesting - thought I’d seen this before but think I’d confused it with something else...edging towards a Lynch retrospective, although I’ve already seen a bunch of them more than once, once I’ve gathered them all together)

76. Faster Pussycat Kill Kill (enjoyable, some ace shots & dialogue - it's a bit ploddy though in places, which is what I find most taxing about a lot of low budget stuff )

77. Ed Wood season (had seen Plan 9 before): Bride of the Monster (dull)

78. Night of the Ghouls (bit better, I thought)

79. Glen Or Glenda (the most wacked-out, although I wasn't super-sold)

80. Jail Bait (enjoyed this most as a straight-up film - I believe the plot came from elsewhere, otherwise you might say it was quite a good one)

81ish. some short Wood bits...

82. Necromania (quite enjoyed this one, one of the - not very arousing - pornos).

83. Non-Wood: Starcrash (ace, loved it)

84. The Big Heat (total classic, if anyone ever again says a film needs to be over an hour & a half long, they're lying)

85. Chopping Mall (enjoyed it - this is the start of my latest 'so bad they're good' season)

86. Dead Heat (LOVED this)

87. Mortal Kombat 2 (enjoyed it, although wouldn't expect anyone else to)

88. Crocodile 2 (good fun)

89. The Happening (a bit misunderstood I think, but still rather silly), pause in 'so bad...' section...

90. Sir Henry At Rawlinson End (a real treat)

91. Bohemian Rhapsody (pretty good)

92. Black Devil Doll From Hell (one of the rare 'so bad they're good' ones where it goes past funny into creating a really odd, unsettling atmosphere - really liked it)

93. Psycho Cop (good fun)

94. Divine Enforcer (loved it)

95. Twisted Pair (not Breen's best tbf...), 'so bad...' section ends.

96. The Trouble With Being Born (v interesting, unsettling stuff)

97. Elegy To The Visitor From The Revolution (the only Diaz one I've managed to get through, cos it's shorter, pretty decent)

98. Parasite (very good)

99. Ricotta (more for Kate than me, I can't really get into Italian new wave stuff, shock horror... s'OK)

100. OG Mad Max (awesome, couldn't believe I'd never seen it...started the second one as well, but either the print wasn’t very good or they chose a very different colour scheme, & I couldn’t get into it half as much)

101. Man Vs Bee (daft, but I did enjoy it)

102. The Magnificent Ambersons (really good)

103. Welcome Home Brother Charles (more 'so bad...' stuff - bonkers)

104. For Y'ur Height Only ('so bad...' - as good as people say, great watch)

105. Malcolm X (solid)

106. Ben & Arthur (one of the 'so bad...' ones I had to restart a coupla times before getting through it, but glad I did in the end, pretty deranged)

107. Sherlock Jr (classic)

108. His Girl Friday (shamefully had to try this twice, but excellent once it gets going)

109. Top Hat (v good)

110. Bringing Up Baby (v good)

111. The Lady Eve (v good)

112. Notorious (Hitchcock - another I had to try again with, incredibly, again very good once it gets going)

113. High Noon (ace)

114. All the President's Men (really good, rated it)

115. The Raid (Indonesian actioner - really good, I thought)

116. OG Last House On the Left (for some reason I thought this was of about the same production standard as I Spit On Yr Grave, but much better, good unsettling stuff)

117. Peeping Tom (classic)

118. Aliens (maybe saw this 30 years ago, rip-snorting)

119. What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? (great stuff)

120. Dr Strangelove (probably not quite as funny as at the time, but classic anyway)

121. Topaz (not the best Hitchcock, but I enjoyed it)

122. Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion (very good)

123. Another Year (recentish Mike Leigh - v good)

124. Magnolia (amazingly well done, but didn't touch me quite like it seems to other people)

125. Baise Moi (pretty brutal. Too shoddily done to really sit THAT well with me, but worth a watch)

126. The Bad Seed (50s one Su wanted to watch - a bit overlong for the subject, & seriously dated, but decent)

127. Terminator 2 (barring the long dull bit in the middle - it being some sort of special edition poss not helping - pretty rip-snorting, better than the first)

128. A Nightmare On Elm Street (being a jessie for horror movies, I actually had to turn this off after the first murder when I was still at school & it came on telly! Finally dared to get back to it - STILL pretty creepy in places, particularly that first murder. Very good)

129. Good To Go/Short Fuse (finally located it on Youtube - title change hadn't helped - Art Garfunkel (?!) stars in a mid-80s flick about the Washington DC go-go scene - nowhere near as bad as its rep)

130. BFI season: Dawson City (more about the town than the silent film finds really, which I wasn't expecting, but still some amazing footage & photos. Visually sumptuous)

131. Cabinet of Dr Caligari (didn't get that much more from watching it in full than clips & stills, as it is the sets that are really the star, but still v good)

132. The General (Keaton - tremendous, well worth its rep)

133. Drunken Angel (Kurosawa - not sure why this one isn't talked about more, really good I thought - love the grumpy doctor character)

134. Late Spring (Ozu - I had started this before - really good)

135. Tokyo Story (Ozu - same - I think the reason it is seen as the best of them only really comes down to the last half hour, but it is certainly superlative either way)

136. Seven Samurai (or Seventy Minutes Too Long Samurai - the last hour is boss though - I believe until relatively recently it was mainly available in the west in a significantly shorter cut, & I suspect that was the right cut & responsible for its rep, the build-up is way too long. Classic of course though)

137. A Man Escaped (really really good)

138. Wild Strawberries (really good)

139. Les Mistons (Truffaut - OK, whatever)

140. Rabid (enjoyed, but the step up to The Brood is significant)

141. Berberian Sound Studio (very good, especially enjoyed the knowledgeable experimental music angle)

142. Hitchcock...The Lodger (really good, glad I found a version with a decent soundtrack at last)

143. Downhill (another early Hitch - not at all bad stuff, nicely restored by the BFI)

144. Suspicion (same as everyone says - great but cop-out ending)

145. Documentary on comix artist Mike Diana

146. More Hitchcock... Under Capricorn (I had to sort of half-watch this, it was so long & periody - not really my sort of thing - but I did kinda like it)

147. The Trouble with Harry (once you get used to the style, pretty darn good)

148. Marnie (largely excellent)

149. Frenzy (one of the best of the late Hitch ones)

150. Family Plot (also very entertaining)

151. La Jetee (OK, over-rated)

152-154. Dekalog 1-3 (again, a little over-rated I think, but still great)

155. American Pie 2 (total fluff of course, but I enjoyed it)

156. 3 Identical Strangers (decent doc)

157. My Friend Dahmer (basic but enjoyable)

158-9. Encounters At the End of the World (Herzog Antartica doc - really good, & also, didn't get through all the extras, but amazeballs half hour one of extra underwater footage, with Henry Kaiser doing his noodly guitar all through it, which I almost enjoyed more than the main picture)

160. Amazing Grace (Aretha Franklin gospel concert lost footage - pretty powerful stuff)

161. Analyse This (I'd seen this before & forgot, but enjoyable again the second time, not a classic but good fun)

162. OG Predator (don't know why I'd put this one off - really good, tense stuff)

163. The Passion of Joan of Arc (20s) (maybe not QUITE as good as they say - & slightly too much emphasis put on the close-ups, there's good, more dynamic stuff at the end as well - but still powerful)

164. Ocean's 11 (remake) (another one I don't know why I left til now - greatly enjoyable)

165. Den of Thieves (another heist one - not at all bad)

166-167ish. Aardman stuff (I think the only actual feature I watched was Chicken Run, just watched what I could find free out of the 'classics') (all pretty enjoyable, although I didn't realise they also made so much garbage children's stuff)

168. The House (v silly Will Ferrell thing)

169. Man with A Movie Camera (poss more admirable than incredible at this point, but still a v good watch)

170. Killer Legends (standard doc about urban legends from the Cropsey guy)

171. The Fire Within (another Herzog volcanos doc, some pretty immense footage, stumbled across as part of Storyville on the Beeb)

172-173. The Ride Along movies (more stuff for lunched-out vegetating, entertaining enough)

174. Grey Gardens (doc) (again, maybe not quite as incredible as I'd been led to believe, but enjoyable nutters, & nice to find a half-decent print at last)

175. Click & Collect (v silly BBC xmas thingie)

176. Sad Vacation (Sid & Nancy doc, v similar to another I'd seen - unless it was the same one again, which would be really bad, but I don't think so, a lot of the same interviewees though)

177. Fascism On A Thread (interesting doc on Nazisploitation films)

178-179. Die Hard 2 & 3 (2nd one I poss enjoyed even more than the first, 3rd a little separated from the original concept but still highly enjoyable)

180. Mascots (very good recentish Spinal Tap bloke one)

181. He Walked By Night (really solid police procedural film noir)

182. OG Jurassic Park (rather dated now, but the much-reffed set pieces really terrific)

183. The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (the best of the Aardman, I think - really splendid)

184. First Blood (another I can’t believe it took me this long to get to - ace)

185. CopLand (not at all bad, ace cast)

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conscious-love · 3 years ago

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Why Holding On To Past Relationships Is The Worst Thing You Can Do For Yourself, Period

by Daniel Dowling via MindBodyGreen

Three years ago I was a 24-year-old failure-to-launch who lived on his mom’s couch and shared a bathroom with two teenage sisters. My friends had their own houses, degrees, and independence. And there I was, broke and depressed, totally reliant on my parents. It hadn't ever not been that way.

But in 2014 I made one small decision, which led to results I still sometimes can’t believe.

Today, I’m leading writers in a national campaign to rebrand my hometown, and I write for the best entrepreneurial and self-improvement sites in the world (mbg being my favorite; no lie). I make a great living coaching others to become the happiest and most successful versions of themselves. That’s a lot of change in just three years, from any perspective. And I can trace the transformation of my life back to one single thing: letting go of my exes—completely.

Breaking free from serial monogamy.

For most of my adult life I’d been a serial monogamist. I thought I just really loved love, but it turns out I was just really, really afraid of responsibility. So, for my personal dissatisfaction and unhappiness, self-improvement wasn’t the cure—it was a new girlfriend! And when that one didn’t work out, I'd find another. Yay for love!

Except it wasn’t love because I wasn’t becoming the best version of myself through these relationships. So after the last one ended ignominiously, I quit the love game—just not quite all the way.

I still kept in contact with my exes. And Jen—my former fiancee—was a particular crutch. We still visited each other even though we lived in different states. We kept in regular contact through texts and phone calls, especially during crises. I was still depending on her to make me happy.

Every time we talked, I renewed the connection to my former ways of thinking and behaving. It strengthened the conviction that, deep down, I could only be happy with Jen. She was my way out. If things got too tough, I could always come to her, and she could come to me. We even promised that if we weren’t married by 30, we’d get hitched. Talk about a safety net… (and, yes, also the plot of My Best Friend's Wedding).

Unfortunately, that safety net was keeping me from being the bold, successful, independent man I wanted to become. I just couldn’t seem to cut the cord on my own.

Flying without a net.

Then one day I was listening to an audio course from my favorite self-improvement mentor, Zig Ziglar. He was talking about how to right our wrongs and forgive ourselves. He advised writing apologies down and sending them to the appropriate people. But he had a special step for exes.

"When it comes to the forgiveness you want from your exes [Zig has a drawling Southern accent], I want you to follow all the steps I just gave you. But instead of sending off the letter, I want you to fold it up, light a fire, and burn the damn thing. Cuz there’s no point in renewing emotional connections with people who aren’t good for you. That’s why they're your exes! It’s time to move on from them and fully embrace your own life."

When one is slapped by truth, one’s jaw has a tendency of dropping, and the eyes have a tendency to glaze over, lost in a thousand-yard stare. That was the picture of my face. Might’ve even drooled a little.

I thought about Jen, and Em, and Katie. I thought about how important they’d been for me and how much security they’d brought me. And I knew I had to let them go for good. For good.

No more texts or calls. No more being Facebook friends. No email updates. No nothing.

I had anxiety about the decision, naturally—severing ties with my past and obliterating a huge comfort zone. But I had a future to step into. I had to do that on my own.

Dealing with the emptiness.

I missed my former girlfriends like crazy. But instead of feeling sorry for myself and longing for them, I prayed for them. I asked God for the same things I was asking for my own self-improvement journey—courage, faith, hope, positivity, inspiration, grace, and so on. I prayed for them to meet amazing and inspiring friends who could help them become their best selves. I prayed for my future wife. And I prayed that I would become the fully independent man capable of supporting her.

In all this praying, I completely changed my focus. Instead of relying on my girlfriends for faith and reassurance, I relied on God and my own ability to handle my problems. I took back the misplaced faith in my girlfriends and put it squarely in my own hands.

That’s when I finally launched.

Do you believe in life after love?

Just like Cher, I found my power only after letting go of my past relationships.

Without my exes as safety nets, it was just me. Nobody else was going to make me happy. So I did what I needed to do to make me successful—all the writing, studying, practicing, pitching, researching, and self-improvement. I actually become part of a community and made new friends. I fully embraced my own damn life.

Three months passed and I still missed my exes. But I was making money through my writing and making new connections.

Six months passed and I still missed my exes. But I’d started earning a full-time living through my writing. And I was growing more confident by the day, especially in my community.

A year passed and I still missed my exes. But I was fully independent through my passion. And I’d outgrown the anxiety and depression that had haunted me since I was a teenager—a by-product of my newfound faith in me.

It’s been three full years since I cut out my exes. I’m 100 percent over each one, but I’m human—I still miss them! Who wouldn’t? They were brilliant and beautiful women who were insanely fun to be with. I made thousands of joyful memories with each one.

Sometimes I’m reminded of them by hearing a certain song or watching a movie. But that’s just another opportunity for me to thank God for them and to pray for them. It’s another opportunity for me to be the independent and faithful man I know I can be for myself, for my wife, for my clients, and for my audience. It’s another opportunity to find security in myself and in a higher power. And through these opportunities, I’ve found the happiness and fulfillment I always wanted.

I advise all of my clients to go on a yearlong relationship fast, which most of them do. But the real growth comes when they fully let go of their exes and stop using them as crutches. It’s hard, hard, hard to do but absolutely essential if you want to grow.

Here are five tips to help you let go of your exes for good:

1. Start a self-improvement routine, complete with daily, weekly, and monthly goal setting.

Read this article as a primer.

2. Meet with someone weekly to discuss your personal growth and your journey.

This person will help keep you accountable to your goals and lifestyle choices. Can be a friend or an amazing coach.

3. Stay single for a year—totally single.

If you can’t be happy with you, you won’t be happy—truly happy—with anyone else. Love that you! Commit to being successfully single for a year. That means happy, connected in your community, fulfilled in your work, and in a state of continuous personal growth. (Your daily routines and long-term goals will be critical to this step.)

4. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people.

Join a faith community where people strive to live out the values you identify with. This is where you’ll find the deep connections that you can grow with—and that will prevent you from leaning on your exes as crutches.

5. Pray or meditate often.

Use your emotions as mindfulness cues. When you miss someone, pray for them. When you’re lonely, pray for the courage, positivity, and fortitude to make good decisions. When you think you can’t go on—that happens to everyone—pray for what you need. This will help you grow faith in a higher power and yourself, which is an absolute must if you want to be happy alone.

And being happy alone? That’s an absolute must for loving someone unconditionally in a relationship that can last a lifetime.

Link to article on Mind Body Green

Author: Daniel Dowling

#Daniel Dowling #mindbodygreen #article #relationship #love #breakup #heartbreak #moving on #strength #recovery #healing #self respect #personal development #quotes

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mystical-flute · 3 years ago

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Hustling For the Good Life (SFWeek Day 3)

No Curse (Our World) AU or Season 3 AU

@mysteryandnonstopfun

AO3 || FFN

Emma’s stare was harsh and aimed in the direction of her parents and Regina. “We can’t.”

There was absolutely no time to argue. Pan’s curse was steadily drawing near, the sky already taking on a dark, ominous hue, swallowing up the buildings and people that had called Storybrooke home for twenty-eight years.

“Emma, you have to go. It’s the only way to keep Henry safe!” Snow protested.

Neal turned away from the small family, and looked at Belle. “Are you going to be okay, Belle?”

“Don’t worry about me. Your father would want you and Henry to be safe, Bae,” she said. “Besides, Snow has been kind enough to allow me to stay with them… if we’re able to get back to their castle.”

So much was unknown about what was going to happen. Neal was worried he might throw up.

He put on a brave smile that he knew neither of them bought.

“You guys need to hurry!” Ruby suddenly cried, glancing over her shoulder at the purple storm clouds racing toward them. “It’s almost here!”

Neal squeezed Belle’s hand and turned to Emma and Henry. “Let’s - let’s get to safety, then.”

He should have been happy that the life he and Emma deserved to have was within his grasp, but like everything with magic, the price was too damn steep, and it wouldn’t be worth it.

They might not remember Storybrooke, but he knew the pain in Snow, David, and Regina’s eyes would never leave.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way,” he said, passing Regina on his way to the bug.

“Just keep Henry safe. Please.”

“You know we will.”

Neal gave Hook one final glance, and a single nod of acknowledgement before he got in the passenger’s seat once Henry was safely in the back. He and Emma clasped their hands over the gear shift, the familiar rumbling of the bug almost making him smile as Emma began to drive.

None of them took their eyes off the mirrors as their loved ones -

“Em? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked, glancing at her. “Allergies acting up?”

Emma took her hand off his, using it to wipe her eyes before she pulled to the side of the road. “No - sorry. I just got a little overwhelmed at the thought of our apartment in Boston. We’ve lost everything, Neal. Our clothes, our furniture, our pictures - ”

“But not our lives,” he said, rubbing her back. “Emma, we’re lucky we weren’t home when the fire broke out. We can replace the stuff, but we can’t replace each other.”

Henry looked up from his game. “I’m not reenacting those baby pictures.”

Neal snort-laughed. “You don’t have to, bud. But just be aware that your mom and I might take a few extra pictures of you for the foreseeable future.”

Henry scowled, rolling his eyes, and immersed himself in Zelda again.

Emma chuckled. “New York then. Almost home.”

---

“It’s a boy!” the doctor announced, Henry’s cries cutting through the air.

“Healthy pair of lungs on him,” the nurse chuckled, rubbing him down. “Oh darling, it’s okay. Let’s get you to Mama, hmm?”

Emma and Neal, two terrified eighteen year olds, were in shock as the nurse laid him in Emma’s arms.

“H - hi baby…” Emma whispered as his cries slowly died down and he stared at them with wonder in his dark eyes. “I’m - I’m your mama… and that’s your daddy…”

The first year had been rough, of course. They lived in a tiny, one-bedroom apartment in Tallahassee, waitressing and whatever else they could find. They clawed and saved whatever they could, to give Henry more than what they’d had.

But more important than things, was love. Henry had two parents that loved him more than anything in the world, which is much more than Neal or Emma could say for themselves.

They were happy, most of all. Yeah the apartment was a squeeze, and there were on and off issues with bugs, but through it all, the three of them were happy.

They married when Henry was three - a small ceremony in Boston after they’d moved there for Emma’s job. He’d gotten a better job not long after that, as a photographer, and he was really, really good at it, like Emma was good at tracking down criminals.

And so the little family moved up in the world. From a one-bedroom apartment to a two bedroom, they could buy new toys and clothes for Henry instead of hoping they found something at a thrift store or garage sale. It finally felt like they were where they were meant to be.

Emma’s twenty-eighth birthday came and went, and Neal felt a twist of guilt in his gut when August’s voice echoed in his head.

The problem was, Neal hadn’t heard anything from August. No postcard, no email… nothing. No information as to where this supposed curse was?

So how was he supposed to get Emma to her supposed destiny if he didn’t know where he was going?

He had a job, a family. They couldn’t just drive across the country and hope they got lucky.

Then there had been the fire, the spring after Emma’s birthday. They’d been on a camping trip in Maine, Neal taking photos of the coast and Emma insisting Henry needed less time in front of the screen, when they’d gotten the call.

Everything in their apartment was gone, the building itself almost totally a loss.

He’d been transferred to New York.

So they’d started over, again.

New York had been good to them - incredibly so.

The magazine he’d gotten a job with had offered to pay for their rent for two months while they got new furniture and settled into the city.

Henry was thriving in school, making friends and joining the art club. It was everything Neal had ever hoped for.

And after they��d settled in, new furniture and wardrobes abound, they had received a call from one of Emma’s contacts with the NYPD. A two year old girl had been found in an abandoned apartment. No family that the cops or child services could find, and the girl didn’t say anything other than her name - Audrey.

So they’d taken her in, adoption paperwork being expedited given the strangeness of the situation.

All she had to her name was a pink baby blanket, not unlike the one Emma had.

It felt like fate, adopting Audrey the way it happened.

Or something else, but Neal pushed that thought aside as he situated her in her chair, watching as she carefully fed herself.

Emma slid into the seat next to her, a plate in her hand.

“Busy day today?” she asked.

“Nah, just editing the pictures from the Elton John concert last night. I can do it from here,” he said with a shrug, glancing over at a knock on the door. “I got it.”

When he pulled the door open, he’d wished he hadn’t.

“Baelfire.”

He felt the color drain from his face. “Hook. What the hell are you doing here?”

To his shock, Hook actually looked relieved to see him, like it hadn’t been 200 years since they saw each other. Like they had actually been friendly last he saw him. “I came to get you three, Baelfire. To take you home.”

“Home? You must be insane. I am home.”

“Emma’s parents need help, Baelfire. So does your father.”

His eyes narrowed. “Did August send you?”

Hook’s face radiated confusion. “Who’s August?”

That was a no, then, and that didn’t make Neal feel any better about Hook being here. He shouldn’t even know what he looked like - he’d been fourteen when they last saw each other! “Why should I believe you? After everything? And why would you give a damn about my father?”

“He saved my life.”

Neal laughed, then winced when he remembered Emma and Henry were only feet away. “Why would he save you ?”

Hook shrugged. “I was collaterally saved.”

“As always,” he spat.

“Dad?” Henry called. “You okay?”

“Just a second, Henry!” Neal turned back to Hook and narrowed his eyes. “Get lost. Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want it.”

Hook sighed, holding out a piece of paper. “Fine. If you change your mind, I’m staying here.”

Neal frowned as he took it, watching Hook disappear back down the hall. How had Hook been able to get a hotel room?

This was weird, and despite his instincts telling him to stay away from anything related to the Enchanted Forest, Hook had mentioned Emma’s parents. If they were involved in this, maybe there was more to Emma being left on the side of the road.

So, with Henry at school, Emma at work, and Audrey at daycare, Neal did what his brain was yelling at him not to do, and wandered to the address Hook had given him. To his surprise, it wasn’t a hotel at all, but an apartment building. He was let in no problem, and stood in front of the door.

Why was this familiar?

He pushed the door open, and resisted the urge to toss his keys on a nearby table (why had he wanted to do that?). Instead, he picked up an envelope that caught his attention, dropping it in shock.

Why was his name on it?

He left the envelope on the floor, glancing again around the apartment, and his heart stopped.

The yellow dreamcatcher he and Emma had snatched was hanging from a window. Rushing to it, he lifted it into his hands, afraid it would break.

It should have burned in the fire. How was it here?

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” Hook’s voice rumbled from the doorway.

Neal spun around. “Hook, what the hell is this?”

Hook didn’t answer, instead, he pulled a vial of blue liquid from his pocket and held it out. “Your memories of the past year have been erased, Bae.”

“Neal.” He made no move to take the vial.

Hook sighed. “Neal. Please. You have to trust me.”

“Why?”

“It’s like I said - Emma’s family is in danger. A witch is plotting something against her parents. I only just escaped in time before they were sent back to Storybrooke.”

Neal bit his lip and looked around the apartment again. That might explain why he never heard from August, but getting Emma to do anything regarding her parents would be worse than pulling teeth.

He took the vial and drained it, lurching back in pain when the memories began to flood in.

Oh no.

Neal’s eyes were wide with horror as they settled down, and looked up at Hook again. “Killian…”

Killian grinned. “There you are, lad.”

“How’s Belle?”

Killian had a hesitant look on his face. “She’s… as well as she can be. Your father is alive, Bae, but he’s missing, and with Emma’s parents in danger - ”

“The witch might have something to do with it.” She probably had something to do with it, really. “What about Emma and Henry’s memories?”

Hook pulled out two more vials, his face sad. “I’m sorry I had to wake you up, Bae.”

He sighed, remembering the devastation before they’d crossed the town line, Emma’s tearful, almost childish refusal to leave her parents, and the broken look Regina had tried to hide when Henry wasn’t looking. “Don’t be. This is… going to be for the best.”

What it meant for him and Emma, time would only tell.

The Bug was quiet as they raced through the night, back to Storybrooke. Hook, Henry, and Audrey were asleep in the back, but Neal was wide awake.

“Emma…” he said quietly. “About us - ”

Her head snapped over, visible confusion on her face. “What about us?”

“I mean… the marriage, the amount of love we have for each other - ”

“False memories or not, the love I have for you is real, Neal Cassidy,” she said. “I was going to meet you at Granny’s, give you that second chance before Pan’s curse. Although… I guess that was a second chance too.”

Neal smiled, relieved. “So you wanna stay married to me?”

Emma smiled back. “Neal Cassidy, I’ll marry you in any lifetime.”

#sfweek2021 #swanfire #emma swan #neal cassidy #ouat

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boolproppin · 4 years ago

Note

UGH, I want to ask all of them for Adam and Helmi (because they are my favorite) but I will behave and only ask... all the even numbers. akjsdaskdjas I'm sorry I just want to know all the things. ;-;

I will answer all of them for you my friend <3

1. Who’s the one who’s reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out

They are both very level headed, however if one of them got themselves into trouble it would more likely be Adam who would follow his ideals and being a standup guy (unintentionally getting himself into a pickle). Helmi would need to talk some sense into him and help him see the grey area.

2. Who’s the one to send the other “I love my gf/bf” memes

This would so be Adam! He’s only recently learned about memes and gets a pretty good kick out of them. He would absolutely EMAIL them to Helms.

3. Who’s the one who listens to a music genre the other doesn’t like and how does the other react

Helmi listens to indie pop which Adam just can’t seem to get into. He usually has a confused look on his face and then “recommends” putting on some Fleetwood Mac.

4. Which one spoils the other more and do they ever get competitive to show the other more love

Adam! They aren’t competitive though, they both have a very sweet way of spoiling each other in different ways.

5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them

This is still up in the air ;)

6. What was their wedding like

IF they got married it would be low key, minimal, and a small group of friends at an outdoor celebration. Their first dance would be to I Only Have Eyes for You by The Flamingos

7. Is their friends/family supportive

Helmi’s family and friends are very supportive of her meeting and starting a relationship with Adam. As far as Adam’s family...ehhhh, but his bestie Rayland is all for him moving forward in his life and being with someone he adores.

8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

Adam to Helmi: blankets, tea, and cuddles Helmi to Adam: words of affirmation and hugs

9. Which one dissociates

Neither

10. Which one stares at the other’s booty like “damn” and how does the other react when catching them

Adam fo’ sho. Helmi just shakes her head, “there’s nothing even there to stare at!”

11. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?

Small home with mid-century modern feel.

12. What do their dates look like

Randomness! Adam and Helmi have so much to show each other with the age gap. A night out to the movies ends up being an adventure of watching buskers, stopping at random bazaars, checking out random shops.

13. How does each act when getting drunk

Helmi- flirty and DTF Adam- Sadsies, but easily coaxed into a better mood ;)

14. Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to give kiss them

Adam for sure, he’s an old man so he gets up early.

15. Have they saved each other’s lives before

I think they both did in a sense, they aren’t just existing anymore.

16. Does one have an interest the other think is weird but wants to listen to it regardless

Yes! Adam is insanely obsessed with Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks (probably why he just thinks Helms is the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen). Helmi just loves how he lights up and gets excited when talking about them/her.

17. Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images

NEITHER LMAO

18. Does one of them kinkshame the other

I think Helmi would vanilla shame Adam, “you know they’ve invented more positions since missionary?”

19. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them

They are both pretty content, however I could see Adam getting self conscious if he met some of the models Helmi is around.

20. Say they were cuddling on the bed while listening to record player playing the background. Which song is playing?

My Girl by The Temptations

21. What is their song? Like the song that gives them overwhelming feelings?

Bring It On Home To Me by Sam Cooke

22. What song do they listen to while going on a joyride

Renee by SALES

Adam likes the “hey you got it” part.

23. What kinda joyrides do they go on? Relaxing ones or wild ones?

Relaxing. Visit a small town or go to a beach nearby. Stop by some of the shops along the way.

24. Where would they vacation for a honeymoon

Brindleton Bay

25. Do people ever get annoyed of their pda

Not at all, they are the couple that holds each others hands or are close to each other, a peck on the cheek or lips.

26. Would they live in the city or the country

Country but not too far from the city.

27. Which ones the red which ones the blue

Helmi is red, Adam blue

28. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope

Adam has depression and Helmi has anxiety. They help each other by listening, going to counseling, and checking in with each other.

29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

Helms melts when he kisses her hand.

30. Do they dance together

Oh yes, many an impromptu dance sesh when the record player is on.

31. Do they sing together

Yes and they both are HORRENDOUS singers.

32. Which one is better at cooking than the other and makes most the dinners

Adam is a better cook so he would definitely make more of the dinners.

34. Are they a reckless couple or safe

Safe!

35. What be they kinks and do they try each other’s kinks

Adam would love to do the deed while Helmi wears his lettermans jacket. As for Helmi she loves the thrill of having sex in public. As far as trying each others? We’ll have to see!

36. What would their valentines gifts be to each other

Adam would get the old school boxed valentines cards (the kind you took to elementary school) and would write something sweet along with a box of chocolates. Helmi...probably in his letterman’s jacket waiting for him to come home.

37. Do they get into fights often? If so what do they fight over and how do they make up?

Not often. They would most likely fight about Adam’s idealistic tendencies or insecurities. Making up would consist of apologies and cinnamon rolls.

38. Which ones top, bottom, verse

Het couple so verse?

39. What kinda sex they be having (gentle rough whatever)

Gentle but also a tiny bit rough at times.

40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them

Both! No one messes with theirs!

41. Which one has a favorite movie that they have the other watch with them again and again

Helmi does which is 50 First Dates

42. How would one react if the other was to die

Inconsolable. I don’t think either of them would ever move on.

43. Who dies first

Helmi

44. Do they want kids

Adam can’t have children and his only child Rhiannon was conceived with IVF, but that is no longer an option. Helmi is okay with not having children, she’s never considered having her own.

45. How would they spend their last moments together

Dancing while the record player is on.

#simblr ask #simblr ask game #queenofvraquin #THIS WAS SO FUN #THANK YOU <3 #helmi kvalhiem #adam nowak #the nowaks #the kvalhiems #TSS outtake #tss outtakes

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delos-mio · 6 years ago

Text

Death of a Bachelor - Part 7

A/N: Lots to unpack here! Let’s chat about this chapter!

You had completely immersed yourself in your work. The deadline for the project you were working on for Delos was rapidly approaching and it was all hands on deck in the office. Admittedly, you’d been running a tight ship as of late, but you were determined to hand over a perfect project. All the long days and meetings and revisions were helping to keep your mind off the one thing that had been plaguing it- Logan. It was nearing the end of the week that he’d taken to go to Westworld with William and you were upset with how much you really missed him. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were never even supposed to sleep with him. But despite your best efforts, you were falling for the billionaire playboy you had no business fucking around with.

Before he left, he told you that he had confessed to Juliet. This also had been occupying quite a bit of space in your mind. Though you spoke to your sister almost every day, you hadn’t mentioned seeing anyone and certainly that the guy you’d been seeing is well known and that you kind of work for him. You weren’t sure how she’d react which is mostly why you’d been avoiding the conversation all together. She’d pried a few times when she thought you sounded “off” or “distracted”, but you always had the convenient excuse of work.

One night when you came home, you decided it was finally time to face the music. You poured yourself a too-full glass of wine and took a deep breath, tapping open Facetime and waiting for Emily to pick up. Her smiling face popped into frame after only a couple rings, a thick coat of mud mask covering most of her features.

“Bad time?” you asked with a small laugh.

“Nah, you know I don’t care! You’ve seen me looking worse. What��s up?”

“Just catching up. How’s Elliot?” you asked, taking a long drink. Emily and Elliot, perfect matching names for the perfect couple. You adored him. You’d always been protective of your baby sister, but he treated her with respect and he made her happy. What more could you ask for, really?

“Good! I think he’s at the end of the rope with wedding planning, so I’ve been doing double-time with blowing—” she started casually.

“Ew, TMI. Please no,” you cut off.

“Don’t be such a prude.” Emily looked at her reflection in the mirror and wiped away a rogue clump of mask that was too close to her eye.

“What else have you been up to?” You were just postponing the arrival at the real reason you called. Any time you could buy was welcome.

“Not much. We hired a new girl in my department, so I’m on training duty. She’s really sweet though and I think she’s gonna fit in just fine. You know I’m always open to new friends!” And she really was. Emily had always been outgoing and bubbly. Making friends was second nature to her and you’d always envied that talent. You were sociable only because you had to be in your line of work. You turned it on to network and turned it off the minute you didn’t need to work.

“How about you? I feel like I haven’t heard from you in a few days,” she said as she wandered out of the bathroom to the kitchen island you’d stood around so many times laughing, crying, and drunkenly shoveling food into your faces.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Em. I’m working against a deadline for that Delos project and it’s been insane at the office.” That was true. It wasn’t the whole story, but it wasn’t a lie.

“Oh yeah. How’s that going? Hey! Do you get to see that hot guy who’s like the CEO or something a lot? His name’s like…Luke or Liam or…”

“Logan,” you cut her off with a dry chuckle. It’s like she had a sixth sense. “Mhmm. I see him a lot actually.”

“Ugh that must be so nice. A little eye candy during those boring ass meetings must be nice,” she laughed until she looked back at the screen, seeing your slightly contorted face. “No offence, I mean.”

“No, I know. It’s ok. But what I mean is…I see him a lot…like, not just for meetings a lot,” you said with a huge lump in your throat. Please don’t make me say it out loud you silently begged her.

“Oh,” she replied slowly, letting the information sink in. “Oh! Oh my god, is Logan your boyfriend?” she asked in a high pitch.

“No! I mean, no. He’s not, but…”

“But you’re fucking him?”

“I wasn’t going to put it like that but, yeah,” you groaned.

“You idiot! So the minute you decide you’re ready to finally date again you pick your boss?” she scoffed.

“I’ll remind you I’m my own boss, you brat.” Her point stood and you knew it, but you had to deflect in any way you could for your own sake.

“You know what I mean! Don’t deflect!” Busted. “Isn’t he like super sleazy and a dick?”

“That’s what the tabloids would have you believe, yeah.”

“So he’s not really like that?”

“Not entirely. He’s arrogant, sure, maybe a little reckless,” you started, “But he’s also very thoughtful and smart and charming and witty.” You couldn’t help the fondness in your voice. Talking about Logan openly wasn’t a luxury you usually had and now you found you couldn’t stop the words from flowing out of you.

“You really like him, huh?” Emily’s expression had softened as she watched you speak. “You haven’t talked about a guy like this since…”

“We don’t need to go there,” you interrupted quickly. It had been a long time since Theo left you and you’d gotten over it. But that also didn’t mean you wanted to discuss the pros and cons of choosing your career over love every fucking time this line of conversation came up. “But yeah, I think I’m really falling for him.” You groaned dramatically and took a long drink from your glass. “Why am I like this? Em, I can’t fall for him!”

“Well, you’re not going to work for Delos forever, right?” she suggested, raising a mask-caked eyebrow.

“You think I should bide my time?”

“I think if you really like this dude, you shouldn’t let something silly like working on one project for them stand in the way.” She was in the bathroom again, running the water in the sink. “I love you and I just want for you to be happy. And I haven’t seen your face light up like that in a long ass time.” Maybe she was right. “I’m gonna wash this shit off but I’ll call you this weekend, ok? I need you to look at some swatches with me.”

“Ok, Em. Love you,” you said with a small smile.

“Love you too!” She blew you a kiss before disconnecting the call.

A weight had been lifted off your chest. You felt free. Finally telling another living, breathing person about Logan had eased your anxiety tremendously. After your chat, however, you found yourself missing Logan even more. You couldn’t wait to see him and hold onto him as he kissed you hello. The thought made your heart constrict, longing to be with him again, but you reminded yourself there were only two more days. You could do two days easy.

It was the Tuesday after he should have been back. You of course didn’t expect him to get ahold of you the second he got back to the real world, but you also thought he maybe would have texted you by now. You tried not to let it bother you and gave Logan his space. But Tuesday turned into Wednesday which turned into the next Monday, a full week after Logan should have been home. You finally caved in and messaged him first.

Y: Hello? Earth to Logan?

That text sat unread for days. Any anger you’d felt had passed and you were starting to get worried. Why wasn’t he responding? Where on earth was he? If this were a normal circumstance, you would have asked Juliet if she knew where he was or if he was mad at you. Of course, you couldn’t. You still had to play like you and Logan were not a thing. As if reading your thoughts, your email chimed and there was a new message from William. So, William was home. That must mean Logan was too. Part one of the mystery solved, now to crack the other part of the case.

Good morning,

We will be holding a meeting tomorrow morning, 8am. I understand this is short notice, but we do require your attendance.

Best,

William

He knew good and goddamn well you were a busy woman. And since when did William send you emails? You were annoyed but still checked your calendar. Lucky for them, you were free tomorrow morning, though you weren’t happy about being summoned out of thin air like you had nothing else going on.

When you parked in the lot at Delos the next morning, you took a second to do a quick lap around the lane where all the executives park their cars. Logan’s Range Rover was nowhere to be found. Not a good sign, you thought to yourself. Though it was entirely possible he was just running late, that was not out of the question for him.

You sat anxiously in the boardroom you’d come to know well. The water you raised to your lips did nothing to help your dry throat. Finally, you saw William and Juliet round the corner and cross by the glass walls. No Logan. Your heart was racing, quick and fearful in your chest. When they entered, Juliet gave you a polite smile and William grinned at you a little too widely. Never before had he shown you so much emotion or really interacted with you directly.

“Glad you could make it. I know you’re awfully busy,” William sneered. Something was wrong.

“Not a problem,” you lied. “Will…will Logan be joining us?” you asked tentatively. The question felt odd to say out loud, but you assured yourself it wasn’t suspicious since he and Juliet had been in most frequent contact with you.

“No, I’m afraid not. Though, that is part of why I’ve asked you to come.” Something was wrong. “As of last week, I will be taking over Logan’s role at Delos and you will report all updates and proofs directly to me for approval.”

You wanted to throw up. You wanted to throw your drink in his face and storm out. You wanted to cry. Cry for Logan, for yourself- you were both fucked. “Congratulations,” was all you managed to choke out. It sounded mocking and you weren’t convinced it wasn’t.

“Thank you. My beautiful fiancé here has been catching me up and I have some concerns about what you’ve sent to us,” he said thoughtfully.

“Like what?” You were defensive but you really didn’t care anymore.

“The whole aesthetic of the thing. It just reeks of Logan. It’s tacky, honestly,” he smirked. The fucker.

“I have never had my work called tacky. And respectfully, I have been working on this campaign and submitting proofs to you approve for months. And they’ve been signed off on every time. So I’m sorry if I think it’s bullshit that I’m just hearing about this ‘concern’ now,” you scoffed. You looked to Juliet who was usually lively and involved in these kind of conversations. But she sat beside him, doing everything she could not to look at you.

“Yes, that was when Logan was in charge. And like I said, he’s not anymore.” William took a drink of his coffee before speaking again. “I need a revised campaign to my inbox by Friday at 3.”

“Oh fuck you!” It just kind of came out. “You know that’s not enough time to finish this huge project top to bottom!”

“You can either complete this and submit it by Friday at 3 or you can be released from your contract and forfeit all compensation.”

You rose from your seat and grabbed your bag. “Keep your money,” you spat.

You were almost to the foyer when you heard another set of heels clicking behind you. “Wait! Please, wait!” Juliet called after you.

“What?” you asked harshly, tears pooling in your eyes. “You really just let him talk to me like that! It’s humiliating.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said quietly, pulling you around the corner into her office, checking to make sure William wasn’t lurking. Now tears were threatening her eyes. “It’s Logan.” Your worst nightmare was coming true. If you thought you felt nauseous before, it was nothing compared to this moment. “I haven’t seen him since William got back. He’s not responding to any of my calls.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Your voice caught in your throat.

“You know why,” she said sincerely. You finally met her gaze and you couldn’t hold your tears back anymore. Logan had told you that he confessed to Juliet about the two of you. What you didn’t know was that Logan was being honest when he said Juliet was supportive. “He really cares about you. I’m sure he has a weird way of showing you sometimes, but I promise you he does. I’m hoping if you go to check on him you can find out what’s wrong.” Her bottom lip was quivering, making you want to start crying all over again.

“Ok,” you said softly, nodding your head. It filled you with dread, but you had to know he was safe. She let out a sigh of relief and abruptly took you into her arms, embracing you tightly as she let tears flow on your shoulder. Juliet’s body convulsed as you hugged her, doing what you could to calm her down. You suspected she wasn’t often afforded the opportunity to be vulnerable and emotional—Logan didn’t have that luxury either. “I’ll keep you updated, ok? Promise,” you said, taking her by the shoulders and looking into her eyes.

“Thank you.” Her voice was a rasp as she ran her elegant, perfectly manicured fingers below her eyes, wiping away the stray tears. Juliet took a deep breath, shaking her own fears, and painting on a smile again. “Maybe I should stay in here a minute until it doesn’t look like I just took 30 bong rips, huh?” How did the Delos siblings have such an affinity for using humor to cover their bursts of emotions?

Your hands trembled the entire drive to Malibu. Gripping your steering wheel was near impossible with the convulsions. You had absolutely no idea what you’d be walking into, if anything. All you knew was you missed Logan like hell and now you were scared. Juliet looking so shaken had done nothing to calm the nerves you’d accumulated over the last nearly two weeks. God, had it really been almost two weeks? Something had to be wrong; you could feel it deep in your bones.

The house looked dark when you pulled up, shutting your car off but glued to your seat. Now that you were here, you couldn’t find the courage to knock. What if he wasn’t there? Worse, what if he didn’t want to see you? You steadied yourself with a few deep breaths, paying attention to the even beating of your heart. One last internal pep talk and you stepped out of your car, letting your heavy footsteps carry you to Logan’s front door. You rang the doorbell once and listened as it reverberated through his home. Then silence. You waited a moment before pounding your fist on the hard wood.

“Logan? Logan? It’s me,” you called. It was unlikely he could hear you, but you felt compelled to call for him. You needed to know he was ok. You banged your fist again and again, followed by more silence. Maybe he really wasn’t there. You let your head fall forward, resting your forehead against the door in resignation. “Logan,” you cried once more, mostly out of desperation.

Then you heard it. A shuffling of feet on hard wood floor. There was someone in the house.

#logan #logan delos #logan delos x reader #ben barnes #westworld #logan delos fanfic #logan delos imagine #westworld fanfiction #masterlist #doab

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italicwatches · 6 years ago

Text

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online - Episode 06

I should probably watch some anime today. It’s Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online, episode 06! Here we GO!

-It’s February 11th, just a bit after the Squad Jam. And LLENN is in GGO, down in the cash shop where THEY HAVE A NEW P90 IN STOCK FUCK YEAHHHHHHH! P-chan, daughter of P-chan, is born! LLENN loves her submachine guns so much. It’s a wholesome love between a woman and her gun.

-And hey, there’s Eva! What’s the Boss doing in a place like this?

-Opening! You know, sidenote, I’m wondering if GGO has some level of self-identity thing going on. Like, it’s one thing that Karen and Saki each happened to get a form that matched who they wanted to be…But the entire team of tiny girls who wish they were bigger and got more respect, waking up in GGO as tall, buff amazons? On top of Karen, who wants to be cute and adorable and the little spoon, waking up as literally the smallest size the system allows? That feels a little too unlikely to just be the odds.

-The 15th. It’s the post-credits from episode one, as the whole of Saki’s crew is there watching the highlights from Karen’s performance in the Squad Jam, and seeing just how much crazy shit she pulled off before they fought her. You’re a MONSTER, Karen-san! A total BADASS!

-Karen is still trying to properly hook this gaggle of adorable schoolgirls she’s somehow befriended, to the terrifying amazons who pushed her to the brink. Saki is all huffy about how Karen is still kind of scared of Eva. Well what about Sophie, huh? Look at their gunner, she’s huge!

-Yeah but she has a gentler demeanor, as we start getting connections. So, Saki is Eva. Kana, with the bob cut, is Sophie. Mi, the blonde, has the sharpshooter Toma, and has learned to drive stick because she’s been overseas. The one with those cutesy rounded eyebrows, Shiori, is Roza the other heavy-gunner. Their second sniper is Moe, who is deeply embarrassed about how she puts on such cool airs in the game. And then there’s Risa, who is Tanya the scout, the closest to anyone’s real self…But still tall and muscled, just the sleek muscles of a runner.

-So that’s the whole gang! By schoolday, they are but the humble high school rhythmic gymnastics club. But by night, they are a vicious crew…And they’re here to talk strategy. They want to walk through the entire encounter and figure out where they dropped the ball! They’re in your care, Karen-san!

-Episode 06! “SAO Loser”

-Also they devour the snacks she gives them because they are, after all, athletic teenagers. And it turns out they’ve only known each other since last April, when they all joined the club…And they were fucking terrible. It’s actually why they got into VR gaming, to learn to communicate physically and sync up properly…After their coach got fed up and quit on them.

-As for why GGO? IT was the fact that it was so different, so far out of their usual context, that they could start from zero and not the outright negative position they were in with their actual sports. A crisp, clear goal, that they all knew they knew nothing about accomplishing. And of course, it’s just plain a good game, so they got super hooked on it!

-Which is why now they’ve got to push for victory in the next proper Squad Jam! What about rhythmic gymnastics…? That too. BUT ESPECIALLY GGO. Now, will you be in the next one?!

-Karen’s…Not so sure. This was kind of sprung on her. She’s not gonna say no, but she can’t say yes. And she doesn’t even know if M will keep playing, let alone want to team up with her again going forward…

-…Saki is sad now. But eventually, they’re all ready to head out, and Karen’s got to get ready for her big trip back to her parents’ place for spring break. Saki is still sad about not having a LLENN to war against in the inevitable next Squad Jam.

-The 24th. Karen’s back in her hometown, out with Miyu, and kind of wishing neither of those things were the case judging by the look on her face. Miyu keeps taking photos of her new look and she saw the highlight reel of you and that M guy! You kicked ASS! Tell her everything, everything! What made you want to split up from M? That was BANANAS!

-So Miyu learns everything…And yeah this Pito chick sounds like a nutter. Just make sure she never knows your meatspace identity and you’ll be fine. Oh, hey, this karaoke bar has some new Elsa songs! You wanna do one? Miyu’s gonna do one. They are gonna get that next set of concert tickets!

-A few days later, Karen’s on the plane back home, and gets a promo email saying that the second Squad Jam has just been announced for early April.

-Sidenote, these things don’t make any sense. Like, look, it was…fifteen teams to start, right? That means the absolute maximum player count in a single Squad Jam is 90 people, holding the 2-6 size limit. Both of the major battle royale centric games right now, PUBG and especially Fortnite (but especially Bart) can rack up a hundred players in…about 30 seconds, give or take. Even in their own squad modes, from what I’ve seen it doesn’t take more than a few minutes to get into a match, tops.

-Now, okay, that’s on an American game audience, with something that uses heavy amounts of cross-play and can be played on an incredible variety of devices. So I will freely admit it’s not a 1:1 comparison to VR. But unless the Japanese server only has a couple thousand people on it, tops, getting 30-90 people into a match shouldn’t be the kind of thing so huge it only happens once every few months…Because if it is, how the hell is the game able to keep running and pay for what I have to imagine would be much better servers than an ordinary FPS, to deal with the immense amount of data a full-dive VR player would be sending?

-I know I’m overthinking it, and they’re getting the feel of gaming right. It’s just…I don’t know. Kind of weird the way they’re trying to make the Squad Jams, as an entire concept, into these big Events when that’s not how this shit works. Anyways, it’s another personal sponsorship, with some fine tuned rules, and any of the top four teams are pre-seeded if they choose to enter.

-Oh, and then Saki emailed Karen immediately because WOOOOO SECOND SQUAD JAM! Also, her message is full of more emojis and text emoticons than I think I’ve ever seen in one place. Also Saki wants to eat her treats again so please invite them over sometime soon. …Shit, that kid is blunt.

-When Karen gets back to her place, she finds a guy waiting for her who gets WAYYYY too close and it’s M. So that removes one possibility I had. And now she’s twice freaked out because how the fuck did he find her? Can they go somewhere private to talk about that? Because shit’s gotten Real.

-And that’s how they end up in a little cafe area in the apartment building, I think? Hard to say. But, bluntly, M has to admit that he has no proof of any of his claims, but there’s some shit you need to know. Also, he gives a real name, one Asougi Goushi. Goushi is RIGHT UP ON HER and begging for her help because people’s lives are, for real, on the line.

-His, and Pito’s. …Oh fuck me, what is Pito doing. She’s insane, and they both know it. She’s going to participate, and form a team…And in real life, she said she intends to kill herself if she doesn’t take the gold. But not until she confirms his death.

-Karen would like off this ride now please. This is ludicrous and you should go to the police.

-But…Well, here’s the deal. You know the SAO Incident, right? Thousands of people locked in, forced to fight for their lives. Pito…Wasn’t in that group. She was a beta tester, and became obsessed with the game. On launch day, something came up. She had to delay her entrance into it for just a few hours…Enough for the lockdown to happen, and SAO to become a sealed bubble she couldn’t enter.

-She watched it all on the news. She watched everyone else go through the greatest crucible of their lives. And it broke her. That she lost her shot at entering that crucible, turned her inside out. To have a chance to burn her life out in battle…Ever since VR games became popular again, she’s been throwing every spare moment she had into them. But they don’t satisfy her yearning for the void.

-For a little while, though, things were…stable. Until the SAO Incident was solved, and the survivors started talking. Pito had to confront her ‘lost opportunity’, and learned about the player killers, who committed genuine murder inside the world of SAO. Most of the deaths, outside of those first few chaotic days, were in fact from player killers or from self-defense against them.

-Other sidenote, I don’t know if it’s just one of those Manga Things where shit gets enshrined and used and reused because it’s an easily understood story path, but Japanese gaming culture seems to have this really different attitude towards PvP and attacking other players in general.

-And Pito…Pito envied them. Their chance to put their lives on the line, to kill or be killed. To be them or to strike them down. That’s how fucking insane Pito is!

-Things weren’t so bad when she was burning of steam in GGO…But then she missed the Squad Jam, the first big script-changer event! And it’s caused a relapse. …So she’s going to try and turn Squad Jam 2: Gunfire Boogaloo into a death game. Yes, yes! So again. Why not the cops or professionals.

-…He can’t. Pito’s too important to him. If he goes to the police or psychiatrists, she’ll be killed, jailed or put in a psychiatric ward, and if they try to lock her up she’ll find a way to kill herself. She’d die, and not before destroying herself in the eyes of all the people who rely on her.

-…This is over her pay grade, man. She can’t help you here.

-KABEDON

-Goushi corners her up with the very important move that is Kaibedon, and look. He, loves, Pito! That’s why he has to find a way for this to end in her survival, so he can get her back to center! Karen’s first kabedon, and it’s to hear a guy confess his love for someone else. This is bullshit.

-So they end up sitting back down, with Goushi drinking black coffee, which he hates, but he drinks it because Pito likes it. …Dude just have a sweet drink and mellow. So, okay, talk it out. What’s your plan and why aren’t you scared like when she had P-chan aimed at your damn head?

-Because his real fear isn’t death…It’s leaving Pito behind without him there to keep her grounded. Say he dies. Hell, say Pito kills him. Then…Then what. What if she doesn’t have the will to kill herself? What if she tries for suicide by cop, or worse, what if she breaks down and her resolve cracks entirely? She’d be destroyed. She wouldn’t even have the dignity of death, she’d have a hollow life.

-And okay, explain in very small words how Karen’s supposed to help.

-Enter the SJ 2, face Pito, and defeat her in battle!

-…WHAT?!

-You are the one person who she will accept a defeat from. She made that promise to you! If you defeat her honestly, and if she knows it’s an honest fight…She’ll be stuck to her promise. She’ll have to stay alive, so she can meet you. And that’ll give him time, to pull her back to center and out of this relapse state.

-…This is insane. This is ludicrous. But…If it’s the only option on the board…Guess she’s entering.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Karen’s back in bed, and now has Goushi’s personal email as a way to talk…But Karen needs someone to enter with. Who the hell can LLENN rely…on…Miyu! MIYU SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP! …Miyu is so fucking down. They’re gonna rage, Karen!

I guess SAO’s gonna SAO, huh. Gotta be honest, I would’ve enjoyed this more without the death game angle. But oh well, let’s try and enjoy ourselves next time, in episode SIX of SAO Alt: GGO! Wait for it!

#where I watch #recap #anime #sword art online #gun gale online #sao alternative

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rongasm · 7 years ago

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Im sorry but I've tried messaging you on a lot of occasions. Vented to you. You shut me down multiple times saying you were busy and that you dont have time to interact. So maybe you like making friends but you don't put in much effort. And you have also said you don't follow people because your blog is too "full". It just sucks because you say you want friends and now that person is gonna think they have a chance to get to know u and u will shut em down real quick.

I think this is incredibly unfair, honestly.

You’re discounting the fact that I’m a real human being who gets hurt and fucks up and gets overwhelmed and scared. I have anxiety that is so crippling that in the past year I’ve frequently lost sight of who I really am, my opinion of myself has changed drastically, and I’ve become a weaker person. I have anxiety that is so crippling that I throw up when someone yells at me or when I’m fighting with someone or when I get overly stressed out or when someone hurts me. I go through states of extreme sadness that I can’t shake myself out of and I carry around a physical weight, a heaviness, that literally hurts my body. My heart, stomach, and back are constantly weighed down and it’s really painful sometimes.

You’re discounting the fact that I’m a full-time college student who takes a full course load plus works eighteen hours a week. You’re not thinking about all of the times that I forget to call my family and friends because I get so overwhelmed with everything and everyone. You’re not thinking about the fact that sometimes social media is terrifyingly stressful because people are constantly emailing you, texting you, tweeting, facebook messaging, sending asks, sending DMs, etc. It’s really hard to keep up with all of that for me sometimes. I’ve been going through a phase lately where I can’t bring myself to text. All I wanna do is talk on the phone. And a bunch of my friends recently told me that it was hurting them that I wasn’t texting them as much and I felt just awful about it because I hadn’t realized they’d noticed.

And I think maybe you’re not thinking about the fact that I love writing, writing is my outlet, and sometimes I have to choose it over answering asks. Like, I have to choose myself because without writing I would go insane.

And tbh you’re also forgetting that I straight-up forget to answer shit because I suck. It’s nothing personal, it has nothing to do with you. I forget to answer everyone. It doesn’t matter whether I love you or hate you, stuff slips my mind. I get distracted, I move on to doing something else, and I forget.

So I’m very sorry that you appear to have reached out to me and I told you I couldn’t talk, but honestly, sometimes I just close things with the intention of replying later and never get back to the person. It’s all about timing with me, and there’s no way for you to know when I’m going to have the emotional ability to have a conversation. Which isn’t your fault, but I don’t think it’s fair of you to fault me for it either. It sucks, but it is what it is.

#answered #as for not following more people... I follow who I want it's not an obligation #I forget to follow people that I think I've been mutuals with for years #once again it's not personal I just follow like over 450 blogs and I rarely follow anyone new anymore #Anonymous

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spencerreidsmiles · 7 years ago

Text

Forgetting Yourself

Written by: spencerreidsmiles

This is the fic for Hannah’s Classic Criminal Minds Quote Challenge. My quote was “I think it goes without saying that I was expecting it to be someone else.” Thanks to Hannah for letting me participate in this challenge. This fic was a lot of fun to write!

Trigger Warnings: none

Word Count: 1819

MASTERLIST

“You all know why we’ve been gathered here. Someone at the FBI has been selling our classified files to Norman Rockwell, who was dubbed “The Pursuer” by the media. He deludes himself into believing that he is a vigilante by killing all of the people that the FBI has failed to catch within a two to ten year span. The suspect assisting Rockwell is only giving paper files, which leads the BAU to believe that the suspect is inept at working with computers or needs to cover their tracks very well. The BAU will send out weekly emails to everyone a part of this investigation to make sure that everyone is up to date. Any information should be reported to me or the rest of the my unit. Thank you,” you informed the office.

The rest of the people fled back to their floors and cubicles as you retreated to your office. You sat down on your chair and rested your head on your folded arms. This had been going on for two months. You had just become the Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit less than six months ago and of course this just had to happen.

You heard two small taps from the other side of the office that was followed by a “Hey. May I come in?”

You lifted your head begrudgingly and saw that it was your curly haired fiancee. You indicated that he could come in.

“Hey, baby. What’s up?” you asked as cheerfully as you could muster.

“Are you okay?” Spence asked. He sat in the chair in front of your desk and crossed his legs.

“Yeah, I think. I just really wished that Hotch was here. You know, he swore that he was going to train me to become in charge. Hotch would have known exactly what to do right now. Honestly, Spencer, at this point, I’m just making the FBI look like a joke in the media,” you groaned.

Hotch was a person that required an acquired taste to like. Besides your fiancee, Hotch was the guy that you went to when things were bad. He was straightforward and always knew exactly what to say. And now he was gone. He wasn’t even allowed to leave a note for you when he got swept away into witness protection.

“I’m so incompetent. How did I even get this job? Walker would have made a better chief. At least he’s got experience.”

“Sweetheart, you’re doing all that you can. You didn’t make this happen. No one could have predicted this,” Spencer reminded you. He kissed your forehead gingerly and rubbed your fingers sweetly.

“I know. At least you’re here as my moral support,” you murmured.

“I love you, boss.”

“Love you too, babe.”

As Spencer left, you leafed through the steadily growing file on Norman Rockwell.

Rockwell was born in Iowa in 1987 to Janet Morgan Rockwell and Paul Rockwell. His father became abusive after his mother died. He was taken by Child Services and placed in a foster home. His foster parents mysteriously disappeared, leading Rockwell to become obsessed with trying to find them. The FBI started an investigation, but due to budget cuts and more dire cases, his foster parents’ case was dropped.

Rockwell did not attend any higher education although he had an IQ that easily could’ve gotten him into MENSA. Instead, he worked several odd jobs to provide for himself. He took up programming and hacking as a way to earn money after he was fired from a construction job for “insubordinate behavior”. Rockwell went off the grid for a while after that and then the murders started occurring. So many unsolved cases. It was remarkable. None of the many resources at the FBI could find these suspects, and yet somehow, Rockwell had found all of these people. How. Who would be so willing to betray their promise to their country? Who would’ve been swayed so easily?

You quietly unlocked the last metal drawer in your desk. Your most important things were in there. Pictures. Pictures of every single solved case that you participated in. It was the only thing that was keeping you from going insane from this Rockwell case. It reminded you about how you had helped people before and that they were alive because of you and your team. Norman Rockwell, no matter how many people he killed, would not break your spirit.

The next few weeks, you began conducting private investigations. Garcia had taught you how to do basic background information, so you began to use that skillset to search up information about everyone who had information about the unsolved cases. Even your own team. Of course, you trusted them wholeheartedly, but you couldn’t be too sure.

In the meanwhile, you sent your team out on cases to keep their minds off of the troubling lack of information about the traitorous informant in the FBI and how far you were from actually capturing Rockwell.

The team was on a case in New Mexico, tracking an unsub who used a shotgun to kill his victim and then rolled them over with a truck tire. The BAU was on their fourth day there, and fortunately, was close to finding the killer. As always, you called them to check their progress.

“Hey guys. How’s it going in New Mexico?”

“Hi, Y/N. Garcia’s narrowed down the suspect pool down to a few men in the area, but we’re checking them out tomorrow. We’re going to see if we can find any extra information tonight,” Prentiss answered in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Sounds good to me. Can you put Spencer on the phone?”

“Sure. Spencer?”

You waited for a little. There was a low murmur of chatter in the background.

“Em?” you asked, hesitant.

“...We can’t find him.”

“What? What do you mean that you can’t find him?”

“He’s not here. He went to go check out one last suspect before we turned in for the night. Reid said that he’d be back in a half hour, but it’s been an hour longer.”

“Put Penelope into the call. Tell her to track his phone.”

“He left it here. Why would he leave his phone?”

Your heart began to pulse faster. Stop stop stop. Spencer Spencer Spencer.

“Emily. Could it be him?”

“Rockwell? It could. This case isn’t cold though.”

“He knows that we’re close to finding him. He could be trying to shake us up. We know he’s ruthless and he definitely knows that Spencer and I are super close.”

“How can we find him? Where would Rockwell take him?”

You took a deep breath. You couldn’t be emotional. You had to be the leader.

“Did he take his bag with him?”

“Yeah. It’s not here at least.”

“Penelope? Go to the encrypted folder on your computer called NR423. Crack it open.”

“Why?” Penelope asked.

“I put a tracking device in everyone’s bags. I know. It’s an invasion of privacy, but we can talk about it later. Go to Spencer’s. It’s under his initials. Where is he, Penelope?”

“Outside of Route 64. He’s there. I think there’s an abandoned shed or car garage there. Go get him, dollfaces!” Penelope cheered. Her voice was wavering, but she had to remain strong. For you. For all of the team.

“I’m getting on a plane. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

You ran as fast as you could to the other plane. It was faster. New Mexico was only a plane ride away. Spencer was only a plane ride away.

The moment you touched down in the airport, you blacked out completely. The only thing that ran through your mind was how Spencer was. Was he alive? Did they find him?

“Where is he?” you inquired hastily as you dashed into the station.

“Here.”

They directed you to a cell. Why was he in a cell? He was sat on the metal bench in there, fiddling with handcuffs. He didn’t look up. He was focused purely on his cuffs. You reached out to touch the bars, but was ushered away quickly and sent toward your team.

“Em? Why is he in a cell? What did he do?” you asked frantically.

Morgan wrapped you into a warm hug. You felt a pat on your back from JJ.

“We found him. He’s not hurt. He’s just…” JJ attempted to explain.

“Tell me, JJ,” you pleaded.

They sat you down and told you everything.

“Let me speak to him.”

“No, Y/N. I can’t. You can’t-” JJ began. She gripped your wrist anxiously.

“I’m the head of this team, Jennifer. And I will do this. I don’t care.”

“Y/N…”

“Let her do this, JJ,” Tara advised. JJ reluctantly let go with a sharp breath.

You walked in slowly. The guards opened the gates and you could feel your chest tighten. He was just there.

“Spencer?” you whispered. It was so quiet. Almost inaudible. Barely even words.

“Y/N. You’re here. Finally. You’re here. God, I missed you,” Spencer smiled so sweetly. He walked up to give you a hug, but he was restrained by his cuffs. “I keep forgetting about these.”

“Spencer. I think it goes without saying that I was expecting it to be someone else,” you said firmly. “How could you?”

“Y/N, no. It’s not like that. Rockwell made sense. It’s logical. They weren’t being caught, they had to be killed,” Spencer tried to reason.

“They had to be killed? Spencer are you even listening to yourself? That is wrong. All of this is wrong.”

“I was preventing people from getting killed in the future. What if those unsubs started killing again in the future? What would happen then?”

“Spencer, how can you say that? I don’t even know you. Selling out the FBI like this? Selling out yourself like this?” Your voice wasn’t breaking anymore. It was standing strong and like how a leader should sound.

“It was logical. It was right. You have to hear him talk about it. His vision...it’s what we all want. We all want a world free of criminals and killers. He wants that too.”

“You’re a criminal, Spencer. You’re one of them. And I wish I felt sorry for you, I really wish I could, but I just feel sorry for who you were before. Not what you’ve become. Goodbye, Spencer,” you stated. You weren’t showing how much you love-no, loved, him. Instead, you were a robot with a cold lack of remorse.

“Y/N, no! You can’t. You have to listen to him. You can understand him. Just like me,” Spencer pleaded.

You stood up slowly and took one last look around the room. God, you didn’t recognize him at all. Wherever your Spencer was, he wasn’t there in that room. He was gone. And maybe whoever you were was gone too because now, you didn’t recognize yourself anymore either.

@reiding-and-writing

#hannah's classic criminal minds quote challenge #spencer reid #reid #reid x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fanfiction #mgg #matthew gray gubler #mgg x reader #spencerreidsmiles #reiding-and-writing

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yasuragi-hotaru · 8 years ago

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Uta Pri: 6th Stage Report Pt. 1

By now, it’s no surprise how deep into Maji Love Live hell I’ve fallen. So it didn’t take long for me to get into my head that I would, in one way or another, make it to the event in person one day.

The moment this post hit my dash, it made me think, “Man, I would hate to miss seeing that! I feel like that will definitely be a reality for 6th Stage. Wouldn’t it be cool to be there for it?”

“One day” could be a reality, if, with a little faith and a lot of hope, I tried.

GETTING TICKETS

Was by far one of the most exhausting things I’ve ever gone through. And that is saying a lot as I have been going to concerts, in local venues and arenas, rock and pop, both domestically and internationally, for 13 years now. Without a doubt, there is nothing, nothing like the process of getting tickets in Japan.

I researched extensively throughout the entirety of the ordeal reading up as much as I could (reference links later!) before I fully committed to take the plunge.

For 6th Stage specifically, there were 4 chances to get tickets:

5/27 Lottery w/code from Legend Star vol. 1 in January

5/28 Lottery w/code from Legend Star vol. 2 in February

5/27 + 5/28 Open Lotteries on eplus in early March

5/27 + 5/28 General Sale on eplus in Late March

As luck would have it, I went through each and every one of these before securing my ticket. That’s right, I lost out in all 4 lotteries and somehow, by the grace of God, scraped the bottom of the barrel to snag a rare ticket from the general sale. Now. I’m pretty sure this took years off of my life, so here’s some things I learned along the way for each entry point.

5/27 Lottery w/code from Legend Star vol. 1 in January

Purchased through CDJ, shipped as Registered Air Mail - this was definitely mistake #1. I barely got my package in time to send the proxy service my code for the entry period orz orz orz

I used a proxy service (Japan Concert Tickets) and they were incredibly helpful, professional, and upfront throughout the whole process!

I was overly optimistic here, totally thought it was a shoe in, NBD, so losing the first time stung pretty badly ngl

5/28 Lottery w/code from Legend Star vol. 2 in February

As soon as I received MLLS1, i immediately updated the shipping for this next order to EMS. I received my DVD the day of the release. Yay! 10/10 recommend this shipping option if you need something right away from CDJ.

Still worked with JCT as the proxy service, but obviously lost out on this one, too

5/27 + 5/28 Open Lotteries on eplus in early March

This was probably the most stressful of the lotteries. probably because of the finality of what losing on these lotteries meant. SIGH OTL HERE WE GO.

I worked with JCT to enter, too, and they were a little less patient with entering on my behalf vs. the previous two times. Probably because they were helping more people this time than with people who made the purchase to enter in Jan and Feb.

They sent their confirmation of entering the lottery the day before the entry period ended. Cue anxiety. Woof.

I found out afterward that I could have also entered myself (I made my own eplus account after the fact), but I didn’t. I mourned over this for a while once I lost out on these lotteries, too. Oh well.

When JCT sent the losing notification, it was a blanket BCC email saying due to the extremely low chances of winning tickets, they will not be offering lottery services for future Utapri shows, for the time being. So FYI for prospective MLL attendees. Otherwise, they were very very easy to work with, and i totally understand it’s not the best use of their resources. Alas, off to fend for myself. Onwards to the general sale!

5/27 + 5/28 General Sale on eplus in Late March

At this point, i was pretty defeated, ngl. Everywhere I read, everywhere said don’t even bother with the general sale because there’s no chance.

I, obviously, refused to believe this. I believed there was a chance, even if it was a sliver of a chance. But it wasn’t over yet. Despite myself, I kept the faith and stuck it out.

eplus does not recognize international credit cards, which is ANNOYING. As a work around, I set up my account to pay/pick up at Family Mart. I figured I could figure this payment part out if I got to it. SHRUG

I have NEVER used eplus before, so I tried to poke around to other ticket pages to get a feel for how the application process works.

Spoiler alert: the 6th stage ticket application was NOTHING like the other ticket pages I poked around on D:

I was really scared to have my browser translate the page to English in the event it messed with the loading time or cookies on the page. I tried to memorize the fields so I could at least have some muscle memory with the first page on what goes where.

At 12:00:01 JST, I refreshed the page. And eplus told me I lost my place because I had another eplus page open. I did. it was my member page bc i was checking randomly for something else.

r u srs.

I went to go back, and the site crashed.

wtf the fuq.

I spent the next few minutes compulsively refreshing the page. F5 F5 F5

by 12:07, I assumed that tickets were already sold out.

I still kept refreshing

by 12:10 i officially resigned i had no chance, ready to close the browser window

I still kept refreshing

Suddenly, the application page loaded with options

I started toggling between either day, as the page said tickets were available for both

the page kept loading

the entry fields continued to show up

i kept hitting enter

i frantically just kept trying combos

then finally….the next page loaded

i s h i t y o u n o t I blacked out. i straight up blacked out, i don’t remember what i thought, what i saw, what I did, WHATWASAIR, my mind just blanked because I DID NOT THINK I WOULD GET THIS FAR.

all i remember is that i just skimmed through the page, scrolled to the bottom and it was a blur of letters i didn’t recognize and then a big pink button.

i clicked it.

the next page just said application complete

???????????????????

what. that’s…..it? that’s it…..?!?!?!??! that seemed too easy. wasn’t I supposed to confirm my name for the ticket? what did I miss? WHAT WAS ON THIS MYSTERIOUS SECOND PAGE. I may never know.

By 12:30 i received an email from eplus with a Family Mart code and a message to redeem the ticket in 48 hours.

with the help from my friend, I was able to track back track the steps that led me to getting the confirmation code

thankfully, she was able to help facilitate the transaction in Japan, so by Monday afternoon my time, I got a note that my ticket was secured.

For a long time, NONE OF THIS FELT REAL.

General sale was, by far, one of the most INSANE experiences I have ever put myself through. I truly feel for all other fans who’ve tried and either succeeded or failed. It’s GRUELING. The eplus interface was not intuitive, the entire process was not user friendly at all, and if Japanese is not your first language, it is definitely a challenge.

However, if you are not weak of heart (or just downright stubborn like me), then I absolutely encourage you to try it anyway!!! I knew that this was my last chance and I am convinced getting my ticket was a fluke. I especially knew it, given how late I got in after the tickets went up for sale that I would be VERY VERY VERY FAR AWAY. But it didn’t matter.

Out of sheer dumb luck and blind determination.

was going

to Maji Love Live 6th Stage.

PINCH ME.

Things I referenced as my guide:

@aishiteruitsumo6‘s 5th stage reports

@otokogizenkaigofight‘s ask about 5th stage tickets

Bernie’s summary of Getting Concert Tickets in Japan (and overseas)

@sincerely-shine‘s How to Get Tickets to Seiyuu events

A Momokuro forum discussion page specifically for oversea fans

good ol’ Reddit

I would say, more or less, these posts definitely set the foundation of the beginning of the process, if you’re curious! (and a massive thank you to all of you, you have no idea how much all of your details helped me!)

(Continues on to Goods Line & Trading @ Sunshine CIty)

#maji love live #maji love live 6th stage #seiyuu #uta no prince sama #utapri #utapuri #yh reports #mll reports #AND SO IT BEGINS Y'ALL #i'm not joking i must've lost years from my life trying to get tickets to this goddamn event #just about 3 months of PAIN to try and get tickets #would i recommend it to everyone?#not at all #like seriously #if you don't like soul crushing rejection #then don't do this #would i do it all over again?#PROBABLY LOL OTL

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simplemlmsponsoring · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://simplemlmsponsoring.com/attraction-marketing-formula/attraction-marketing/how-to-build-demand-around-your-brand/

How to Build Demand Around Your Brand

In any given week, how many sales emails do you get from companies you’ve never heard of, toting solutions to problems you may not even have? If you’re anything like me, it’s A LOT. (Praise be unto the spam folder.) The frustrating thing about sales pitches is that they’re often packed with catchy phrases and misleading statistics to convince you that you #NEED their product or service. But oftentimes, you aren’t even in the market for what they’re selling or aren’t yet in a position to buy. The result? A waste of two people’s time and a cluttered inbox. No bueno.

To quote the cheesiest sales line of all time:

There’s got to be a better way!

(Spoiler alert: There is.)

Rather than waste your efforts fruitlessly chasing random leads online, focus on attracting your ideal customers or clients to you. This seems like an obvious statement, but knowing where to start is easier said than done. Building a magnetic brand with a strong following takes time, but with these steps, you can position yourself in the market to attract your biggest brand fans without pushy sales tactics.

EXAMPLE A:

Remember how Kelis’s milkshake brought all the boys to the yard?

Notice how the lyrics DON’T say, “My cold email sequence brings all the boys to the yard.” or, “Door-to-door solicitation brings all the boys to the yard.” Nope. It was her milkshake that had them dropping by in droves. (Well, that and probably a few more sinister things… but you get the idea.) With a killer product or service and a strong brand identity, clients WILL come to you.

Let’s walk through the process together…

Set yourself apart.

It’s tempting to look at successful entrepreneurs in your space and mimic what they’re doing, but that isn’t how you build an authentic brand. The best brands are the ones with a strong identity – even if that identity isn’t for everyone. The same way that not every client is a good fit for you, you won’t be the right solution for some. THAT’S OKAY. By honing in on your most natural gifts, you can do your best work without sacrificing your sense of self. After all, your brand is a reflection of your unique personality and skills. So, show it off and attract the perfect clients for your individual biz style.

Be easy to find.

The internet is absolutely swarming with businesses selling their products and services. To convince people to buy yours instead of the thousands of other options out there, you’ll need to get in front of the right audience. Gaining visibility online may seem like a daunting task, but there are plenty of ways to increase brand awareness (many of which are totally free!). From blogging (to provide value and up your SEO ranking) to social media marketing, advertisements, community outreach, and more – your audience is just waiting to find you. Make it easier on them by using targeted content and advertisements to reach your desired clientele.

Get ’em in the feels.

Even if you’re spouting out super valuable intel, it won’t make the impact you’re hoping for unless it prompts an emotional response. Emotion is the #1 driver of brand loyalty, so make your audience feel something. Whether you’re exciting them, tugging at their heartstrings, or motivating them with powerful messaging, it’s crucial that your audience feels emotionally attached to your voice. Remember: behind every brand is a person or group of people. Don’t be afraid to show humanity in your business. The more YOU that can be seen and heard, the better results you’ll see.

Provide real value.

When it comes to creating valuable content, there’s more to it than providing great information and prompting an emotional response. The best content out there doesn’t stop at interesting or helpful; it positions you as an expert, someone your readers can trust and rely on. So if you’re planning to put out a blog on your go-to method for creating a content calendar, take it one step further and create a free downloadable template to walk your readers through the process step-by-step. Value comes in many forms, so don’t be afraid to do a little handholding whenever possible. Your audience will thank you!

Get known for something.

One of the biggest problems that many solo/entrepreneurs face is that they try to do too much or be too many things. It’s great to be a Jack-of-all-trades, but it’s better to kick booty and take names at what you do best. When you carve out your specific niche and build your biz around your greatest strengths, you’ll be most useful and get your highest praise from clients. By focusing on specific services that you rock the house at, you’ll hone your skills with every new project and position yourself as an industry pro in no time. And guess what that means? PREMIUM PRICING, BABY!

Create In-Demand products/packages.

With such fierce competition out there on the world wide web, it isn’t enough to offer a run-of-the-mill service. Take me for example… Rather than market myself as a regular ol’ brand strategist, I took it a step further and found an unmet niche. I asked myself, how can I provide the most value? What can I do to give my clients the best possible understanding of their brand moving forward? From there, I developed my Brand Archetype Quiz and labeled myself a Psychology-Driven Brand Strategist. My point is: don’t stop at ordinary. Find or create demand around your services by thinking outside the box and offering a product or service unlike anyone else’s. (I know you got this, you trendsetter, you!)

Give it away!

I’ve found that one of the very best ways to attract your ideal clients is by giving away freebies that spark their interest. Whether it’s a downloadable eBook or PDF in exchange for an email opt-in, a sponsored contest on social media, or just stellar advice on a regular, reliable schedule – give your audience something to remember you by. Free downloads and contests are an excellent way to build your email list with relevant leads without spending too much of your hard-earned cash. When it comes to building trust, you’ll need to give your time away rather than throw around money. Develop relationships with your clients (and prospective clients) online. Engage with them on social media. Send them emails. Show them some love! The more they learn about you and your expertise, the more likely they are to think of you when their next project comes up, refer you to a friend, or reach out to YOU for help instead of Google.

Automate your hustle.

We just talked about giving away your time… and if you were thinking, “GIRL, what are you, crazy? I don’t have any time to give!” I hear you. I know how difficult it is to juggle all of the various tasks involved in running a business and still manage to maintain a relationship with your audience (or the other humans in your household, for that matter). But the good news is, there are SO many systems out there to make your work life easier and clear up time in that hectic schedule of yours. A while back, I wrote about 5 systems I use that make it look like I’m on a 24/7 grind, but there are thousands more where these came from.

In addition to saving you an insane amount of time, automated systems also boost your credibility by making you look like a total pro. Think about it… would you rather have to email someone to schedule an appointment or just book a timeslot online? Would you rather manually onboard your clients in an hour-long Skype call or get the basic questions out of the way with an interactive form? Customized automations create a better experience for both you and your client. Plus, let’s be honest. NOBODY wants to log into Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, etc. a million times a day to post when they could throw the content into an auto-scheduler and hit the beach instead! Give yourself the gift of time.

Generate leads on autopilot.

Those automated systems I was telling you about? They’ll be your new BFF when it comes to attracting and nurturing leads. By releasing targeted content out there into the web, you’re enticing readers to click, read, download, or share… but the funnel doesn’t stop there! Let’s say you just published a new blog on managing invoices and expenses. Rather than post it and call it a day, you create a free downloadable finance worksheet and boost the post on Facebook to a select audience. Someone clicks. They read. When they go to download your free worksheet, that’s your chance to capture their email address. They opt-in, and BOOM! Immediately, you’re emailing them a warm welcome! Once they’ve subscribed to your emails, you can enter them into an entire sequence to educate them on your services and convince them to buy… and you won’t have to lift a finger!

(Pin for later!)

Selling isn’t about chasing, it’s about being found.

While you may have had to chase down clients at the very beginning of your business, it isn’t a sustainable process for acquiring customers. It’s too much time, money, and effort that could be better spent on other things. Frankly, it can be exhausting and lead to a pretty severe burnout. It may seem difficult now and it won’t happen overnight, but by giving your audience the best possible experience and GIVING AWAY value, you’ll become more and more visible each day.

Whew, that was a lot.

Let’s recap, shall we?

Distinguish your brand with your unique personality. Don’t be afraid to stand out! Your individual strengths and style will guide you to your perfect audience. Come out, come out, wherever you are! Don’t hide away in the shadows of the ‘net. Put yourself out there with regular content, targeted advertising, and community/industry involvement. Take an emotional approach. Share stories. Foster a meaningful company culture. Show your clients that you can take them to that place they’re dreaming of. Offer more value than the next guy. While you may be writing about the same things or touting the same services, you can up your value with helpful guides, videos, and worksheets. Carve out YOUR spot in the game. Choose a few of your favorite services; the ones that give you the most joy and that you’re best at, and focus on those. With expertise comes moolah and praise. (And who doesn’t love money and kind words?) Meet a special need. Your business is no place to be vague. Find a way to include a unique niche or solution into your services. Your perfect clients will be THRILLED to see that you specialize in exactly what they’ve been looking for. Spend time ON and WITH your audience. Offer free goodies to generate leads and add value for your prospective clients… but don’t stop there. Foster a meaningful relationship by engaging with your audience regularly. Leave some things to the robots. There’s a reason why robots are stealing our jobs (only half kidding) – there just aren’t enough hours in the day to manually do all of the things we need to do to scale and maintain our businesses. Get by with a little help from your electronic friends. Trust me, you’ll be happy you did. Nurture the heck out of your leads. With automated systems in place, it’s easy to keep the conversation going and offer real-time solutions, even as you sleep. #WIN

With these steps as your guiding priorities, you’ll see a more genuine interest in your brand, better-suited leads, and boundless growth potential. The most important thing is that you remember who you are, what you’re worth, and how you can help. With the right combination of confidence and clarity, you can finally stop chasing leads and let your clients do the discovering.

Get the workbook to start building demand around *YOUR* brand today!

Download the workbook now!

The post How to Build Demand Around Your Brand appeared first on Kaye Putnam | Psychology Driven Brand Strategist.

Read more: kayeputnam.com

#brandfluency #ideal client #ATTRACTION MARKETING

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pllrocks · 8 years ago

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7x12 review and thoughts

How is no one talking about the secret passageway on the game map?! They do no analysis of this board game at all!!!

“Her help is dead, his head rolled over your feet remember?” - Hanna

‘What about Sidney? ‘- ‘Oh please let's not go there’ - Emily

‘Em you’ve already been there!’ - Spencer. Omg this made me laugh so hard

Emily is the one that wants out this time..interesting.

“I may have been the one driving this car but we have to be in this together ”- Hanna

I bet A.D didn’t know that the only new information being given this episode is to A.D! Obviously the game is insane and has a recording device, they know A has always stalked them, why do they talk right there? Why not ditch their phones and talk somewhere out in the open?

“Nicole Gordon was never his fiance, I am! ” - Aria. Oh Aria you wonderful crazy thing

Addison Derringer is not A. She probably got manipulated or bribed by Jenna, or another A minion, even the minions need minions in this A game.

Addison is just like Alison in high school, and Alison now.

I am loving Spencers dress and Arias' hair!

I can’t believe Veronica still backs up Peter..it infuriates me.

“Wow, so only you and dad could appreciate the bitter irony of me checking into the same mental hospital where I was born ”- Spencer-

I really feel bad for Veronica, I do. She adopted a child who was born because her husband was cheating on her, she covered for his ass all these years and Spencer never felt like anything but a Hastings, I think Spencer is being pretty horrible to Veronica. I get that she hurting but she's in her twenties not she isn’t a child. What did she want Veronica to do? Discuss the fact that Peter is a cheating bastard and that Spencer is the result of an affair?

So..does Hanna make her own clothes to wear? Hence the ‘you went through my closet!’

Does she sew them? Design and send them somewhere to get made? Does she buy the materials?

Emily benches Addison for missing a practice, Addison is pure attitude, not even looking up from her phone.

“My head was throbbing, listening to your rusty whistle wasn’t going to help” - Addison, reminding us of old Ali.

Alison is in pay attention to me mode...what if I have one like her..or me... She has not decided if she is keeping the baby

So are Spencer and Marco together?

Spencer tells Marco about Mary and shows the letter, changes one detail..she found the letter rather than she was given the letter after playing a crazy board game

Hold up…if the beading, the belt, the collar was Hanna’s bosses idea that Hanna took then what did Hanna design? A plain black dress with a tutu skirt?

Addison is a little psycho, she goes to Paige, accuses Emily of hitting on her and other girls on the team then shows Paige a photo of Emily being’inappropriate’ with Alison, hoping to anger Paige. Addison's eavesdropping has paid off, she's overheard Emily and Paige, and Emily and Alison.

I find Holden really attractive this time, also he’s so damn normal, and nice, and sweet.

Aria taking off the ring, foreshadowing?

“Did Ezra propose to her first?”- Aria

Holden reminds Aria that everyone has a past, that even Aria has had other men tell her they love her, and she doesn’t talk to Ezra about that so maybe Ezra wouldn’t tell her if he had proposed to Nicole before she disappeared

“Just because you met him when you were in 11th grade doesn’t mean he’s frozen in amber” - Holden. Holden is so anti-Ezra but not in a tell Aria to ditch his ass way.

Emily tells Paige she will go tell Hackett about what Addison is doing, Paige tells Emily she will handle it before it gets worse and Emily is accused of hitting on students

Marco has a lead in. Mary..Lead out of Scranton! Mary Drake works at Dunder Mifflin!

Spencer has enlisted Marco to help find Mary

Tap tap tap Jenna is coming!!!

Jenna can identify Spencer by her breathing? Come the fuck on now. Jenna can see, at the very least she can partially see

So we know Jenna has been told to say all this, she does it convincingly, so convincingly that I question all the other times I’ve felt bad for Jenna when she has a sob story.

I think Jenna has always wanted revenge for the liars blinding her, and Noel for him getting suspended for cheating, and perhaps other things we don’t know about.

Jenna tells Marco that Noel was the psychopath that lured Jenna to the blind school to kill her, and he had her work for him so she could have money for eye surgery.

Not sure why Marco didn’t take Jenna aside, to begin with..it’s unprofessional and ridiculous to let Spencer stand there as Jenna makes her statement

Hanna tries to call Claudia about the dress...

“She has balls the size of church bells.” - Omg Spencer..just omg.

She hasn’t told Marco about the game but seems to want to.

Sparia discusses Spencer wanting to find Mary. She wants to get to know Mary, not as someone to fear but to forgive.

Jenna walks in with 2 other blind people, flanking her on either side..or..’‘bookends’ - as Emily would describe it.

Jenna sends a text and Emily hears Addison’s phone go off at the same time

Spencer tells her Veronica she won't be working with her anymore. I'm really disappointed with Spencer right now, Veronica does not deserve this treatment, I get that she is upset but to take it all out on Veronica instead of Peter is unfair. Veronica continues to tell her she loves her and has never felt they were not a family and Spencer is just cold. I really feel for Veronica, and find Spencer irritating and a little much right now. I usually love Spencer but she’s 23, not 13. This woman adopted you and raised you as her own, not telling you you’re the product of an affair her cheating husband had with a mentally ill woman sounds like the safer thing to do.

Spencer has the audacity to sound upset about the house being sold after she’s outright said Veronica isn’t her mother and after she’s been nothing but cold to Veronica since she found out Mary is her mom and she seems to want to forgive Mary but punish Veronica.

Arias dress is cute

Aria gets an article on Ezra reuniting with his fiance Nicole Gordon. The article talks about Nicole’s kidnapping and being held by guerrilla forces. They show pictures of Ezra and Nicole before and after the reunion. I am low key shipping Aria and Holden. I get the feeling that Ezra won’t be able to leave Nicole. He will tell Aria this in a way that makes him seem like some white knight to Nicole and how Aria would always feel guilty for Nicole not getting Ezra.. he will make it seem like he’s doing her the favor. He’s everyone’s white knight.

Mona seems to be working like crazy on this fashion business and Hanna is too busy waiting to eat with Caleb to even look at jewelry designers Mona is showing her right this minute? She asks Mona to forward them to her. Hanna this is your business, get yourself into it, Caleb can eat by himself, you can see him later. I don’t get this too busy for a career and relationship thing.

Catherine is going to BORROW shoes from Hanna? Why wouldn’t she buy a pair like them? Hanna is having these shoes fixed.It’s not like Hanna designed the shoe, it's just strange to me.

OMG Jenna walks in wearing Hanna’s dress but in white, and I must say it looks better in white, and great on Jenna

Mona flips out, more so than Hanna, who acts rather meekly, wtf where is crazy Hanna right now? Mona confronts Jenna with a..’Yo Jenna! ‘ Omg Mona is amazing

Jenna claims the dress was a gift, Jenna says she and her posse have an uber waiting and she tap taps the fuck out of there

Hanna says it’s all part of the game and Mona is left asking what game.

Mona is getting left behind again. I don’t want A to be Mona again because I feel Mona has gotten past that and is a strong and confident woman now.

Emily wants to get into the barn to see the Game to play it because she is convinced Addison is working for A.D

Emily reminds the audience A.D took a final exam for her

“I'm living proof, once you invite the devil in, horrid little seeds start to sprout” - Alison.OMG

Jenna and her posse meet at the cobbler place where Hanna’s shoes are Caleb wants to handle Jenna

Jenna smells Hanna on Caleb, and guesses it is Hanna behind her. Caleb questions why she is here, and where she got the dress. He even grabs her by the cane and threatens her. She reminds him only Noel could contradict the story she told the police and he’s dead.

Hanna gets locked in a caged off room at the cobbler's place, someone obviously closed that door, it didn’t swing randomly closed on its own, and someone shut off the lights.

lol @ #benchme lol Addison is taking bong hits with her boyfriend in a car behind the brew.

Aria the greatest liar convinces a nurse to let her in after visiting hours but telling her she's brought her good friend Nicole some salt water taffy.

317 is Nicole’s room number.

Holden stops Aria from going in to see/confront Nicole. He’s such a sweetheart and really mature!

The sander thing is going off, something swings from the ceiling tries to punch Hanna, she's having pure flashbacks of being tortured in the barn with that cattle prod. She gets a text from A.D and A.D really seems to hate Hanna, like a lot.

‘Wait your turn, Bitch, It’ll come. And you’ll be ready - A.D

A.D seems to hate Hanna more than anyone, Spencer gets clues about her mother, Aria just has Ezra drama and Emily gets help from A.D in dealing with Addison. Why the major Hanna hate? Spencer twin would hate Hanna for the Spaleb mess. HMM.

Caleb rescues Hanna

Emily confronts and threatens Addison with the bong video, Paige intervenes and tells Addison she's in trouble for gloating about getting rid of Emily in an email they found. Her parents and principal Hackett have been informed

‘Why? you gonna smack me? “- Addison.

“No I can’t do that, but somebody should have a long time ago”. - Emily

Aria asks Holden if she should give the ring back and Holden tells her not to expect Ezra to be on her timetable, if he needs time give it to him and that he’s probably more torn up than she is.

Emily is given another puzzle piece, still black and white, still scrawly lines and an abstract feel. Spencer theorizes it’s a map but I still think it could be a sonogram or a collage that includes a sonogram picture.

So that’s my live watch review..I’ll try to post some more thoughts later!

#pll #pretty little liars #spencer hastings #aria montgomery #emily fields #hanna marin #pll 7x12 #pll theories #pll thoughts #veronica hastings #addison derringer #mona vanderwaal #alison dilaurentis #holden strauss #jenna marshall #Ezra Fitz #pll a.d #pll twin

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auideas · 8 years ago

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Ask the Admins 10.0

@genosha-meiuqer: This is to Admin M -- Out of curiosity, do you drive anything like a War Boy?

M: Yes. That is actually a problem I have irl. I drive far too fast. Haven’t gotten pulled over yet though! (knock on wood)

Anon asked: Describe yourself in one adjective.

Chamomile: Talkative

M: Witty

Syren: Enthusiastic

Jynn: Resilient

Vox: Amiable

Anon asked: Do you have other sister blogs or affiliate blogs about writing? Or maybe you can rec us other writing blogs? Not that auideas is not awesome, loving this blog! Just, you know, want to follow other blog. Thanks! Loving your aus btw!

Chamomile: We have @nsfw-auideas, which has been inactive for a while since I became uncomfortable running it and the other admins sort of dropped of….but for blogs that inspire me, I always love @writing-prompt-s because they give me ideas for prompts with their prompts (if that makes sense, lmao) and also from fanfiction/fanart. I get //so// much inspiration from fanfiction/fanart.

M: Yeah we have our NSFW blog, but that’s pretty much it, and I don’t really have a lot of time at the moment to look at other blogs, so this is definitely one for the other admins to answer.

Syren: I second what Chamomile mentioned, and I also get a lot of inspiration from @inell who is a writing machine in the Sterek fandom. It's insane how many stories she churns out, and they often help me mindlessly brainstorm, if that makes any sense??

Jynn: I get a lot of inspiration from @otpprompts!

Vox: @otpprompts and @writing-prompt-s are two other really great prompt blogs! ( ≧▽≦)

Anon asked: curious about the new assistant admins. mind doing information pages for them like you did for the admins?

Chamomile: Here’s all of our pages: Chamomile // M // Syren // Jynn // Vox

Anon asked: When I'm grown, a martyr I will never be. I won't cry for you. I won't suffer for the things you do. I won't cry for you, see. Even though I understand you, Kankri.

Chamomile: this is a sin

M: get outta here

Syren: *Castiel voice* I don't understand that reference.

Jynn: I had to actually go back and find this song again for Chamomile so I just have to say how dare you make me relive that.

Vox: This ask has 6een marked as triggera6le and will 6e taken d9wn by Kankri Vantas. (ง •̀_•́)ง

Anon asked: So I know that this blog is SFW, but do you mind if I use your prompts in a NSFW story?

Chamomile: That’s totally fine! Whatever you do with our prompts is totally up to you.

M: ^^^^^

Anon asked: Have you decided what theme you'll be using? I remember a while back one of the admins asked what the followers think about the current theme.

Chamomile: Oh yeah, we got this solved a long while back. If anybody has a theme that they think is really nice and that we should try out, then send it to us!

Anon asked: What is your opinion on "Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life"?

Chamomile: get out

M: leeeeeeeave

Syren: I am daily surrounded by meme trash and could probably recite it perfectly if I tried. I am only slightly ashamed.

Jynn: I'll never forget it. That being said, I never want it in my presence ever again.

Vox: You scream, I scream, we all scream for Dank Memes™

Anon asked: I finally talked to my future college roommate. Accidentally ignore her email for a week tho... Not really off to a great start?

Chamomile: I can’t tell if this is a prompt or you telling us about your day but my advice would be to get her a card that’s like “I’m sorry I ignored your email for a week” and then some candy or whatever else she likes.

M: Lol man that did not happen with my current roommate - we actually sent each other our first introductory emails at the exact same moment even though I was across the country. Thankfully, we’ve clicked very well, but I would recommend not getting on their bad side right away, or that’ll make your year not so much fun.

Syren: Dude, I am the worst person at communicating possibly ever. I have lost friends because I forget to reply to them for months, no joke. I've found the best way to make it up is to be as sincere with your apology as possible. I've learned not to make excuses. Don't sweat it!

Jynn: I'm glad you reached out to your roommate, good job! I'd go with Chamomiles card and candy idea.

Vox: -looks at the messages I have in Line that are months old- -l a u g h s- Oh honey.

Anon asked: Do you (admins and assistants) know how to make gifs? Also, how do you pronounce "gifs"? "Jifs" or "gifs".

Chamomile: I have no clue on how to make a gif, and I pronounce it like “gift” without a “t”.

M: Gifs. Hard G. I will fight you on this.

Syren: I have no clue how to make a gif, though I've been thinking about learning (barely any gifs out there for When We Rise). Hard g.

Jynn: There are tons of gif makers online, I also have an app for that. I pronounce it “Gif” with a hard G

Vox: I LOVE making gifs!! They’re super fun. Also I use both alternatively.

Anon asked: how do the admins like the new assistants? And how do the assistants like the admins?

Chamomile: I think they’re pretty great! Everybody has been really good with getting their prompts in the drafts so admin m and I can approve them. No real problems.

M: Two thumbs up from me! I can now feel more stress about my school and social life than about this darn blog...

Syren: They're all generally fabulous people and make me feel welcomed. I'm the youngest of the bunch, but that doesn't change anything. Also, I have a habit for apologizing for everything, and they always assure me that it's all good and that they've all been there.

Jynn: Chamomile, Em, and I have actually all been friends for upwards of a couple years now, and I've contributed to the blog here and there before so it hasn't been super different for me tbh.

Vox: If I could put emojis into replies, this right here would just be a string of sparkles and hearts. Everyone’s been really nice!!

Anon asked: I haven't been on this site since forever and I just got back. Nice to see more prompts that I can add to my growing list of things I want to try writing :) (Also, "Runaway" and "So Sad, So Sad" are some of my favorite songs! :D )

Chamomile: Eeeeee! Thanks for loving the blog! Also I know right, I have some pretty good music taste if I do say so myself ;)

Anon asked: Knowing that someone else uses Japanese emoticons makes me really happy. ＼＼\ (۶ÒワÒ)۶//／／ Where do you get yours from, Vox? An app, website, or other?

Vox: Yaaaaa, kaomoji are super funnnnn!! ☆⌒(*＾-°)v I have a Japanese keyboard on my phone so I automatically have a bunch of them readily available.

Anon asked: Choose five of the blog's followers that you've talked to a fair amount and say what story genre you think they would be a character in, and if they would be a protag or antag.

Chamomile: Instead of choosing just five, I went with all of them. Here’s the link

M: I willllllll do this over break - expect a post on my admin blog!

Anon asked: If life was a standardized test, you would be "Answer B" because I always turn to you when I don't know what to do.

Chamomile:....that’s actually really sweet?

M: Omfg.

Syren: This would be really cute if the thought of standardized tests didn't throw me into a panic over upcoming midterms, SATs, and ACTs

Jynn: Awwwwww!

Vox: I’m in various stages of oh god and that’s so sweet and lol my name is actually Bee so this is kind of great, are you flirting with me anon, winkwink. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Anon asked: What do you call a flirty Greek? A Socratease

Chamomile: The King of flirty Greeks is Mithridatetease (Mithridates)

M: Get out.

Syren: As long as they don't have an Oedipus complex, they can tease all they want

Jynn: More like MithriDATEs

Vox: Has war flashbacks to Greek myth lectures. Sweats nervously.

@all-made-of-stardust asked: So I love your blog, and I especially love all your Never Book quotes. I was wondering - what's your policy on using those quotes? Can I directly use the whole quote? Should I change it a bit? Should I not use it at all? There's several quotes I have been thinking about using, and I just wanted to make sure I was doing it right.

Chamomile: hey there! This is a pretty popular question, but our policy is that you can change it however you want (adding in words, changing pronouns, etc.) but don’t repost it anywhere without crediting us. Cutting our parts is also totally fine. If you write something inspired by TNB, or has a TNB quote in it, make sure to shoot us a message and we’ll make sure to add it to the follower’s works page!

@ihaveatheoryabouttimetravel asked: What exactly is the never book?

Chamomile: Hey! I’m the creator of The Never Book (TNB) and here’s the long version of how/why I created it (link), but the short version is that TNB is supposed to be a collection of writing prompts to help inspire you to write. Some of them are very dramatic, while other ones are humorous, and other ones are meant to be cliffhangers that make you want to write what happens next. The name “The Never Book” is supposed to imply that all of these quotes come from a story that has never been written, meaning that they’re free game for prompts as well as to make stories out of.

Note: I’ve entertained the idea of trying to write a piece of fiction with a ton of TNB quotes crammed into it. Might try to get around to that if anybody is interested.

Anon asked: Is it okay to Writer's Block shame a friend who has an almost complete first chapter for 57 different fanfiction pieces???

Chamomile: #me

M: Shame us all

Syren: I'm too fragile to be bombarded like this

Jynn: I'm being called out.

Vox: First of all how dare, it’s only 56. (ง •̀_•́)ง

anon asked: tbh between chamomile and m i really thought that chamomile was younger. i have been surprised but not unpleasantly so

Chamomile: I’m definitely shorter and rounder than admin m, but I’m older by like, a year and a half? Something like that?

M: I am the alpha.

anon asked: assistant admins, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?

Syren: Blue Moon (it's an upper Midwest thing I guess)

Jynn: Chocolate

Vox: Mint chocolate chip

#admin m #admin chamomile #admin syren #admin jynn #admin vox #ask the admins #ata #faq #this has been a public broadcast #long post

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crown-eater · 8 years ago

Text

A maze of pain and insane fantasies

Over the course of the past week, ‘Choly had been making a genuine effort to start moving into Cecil’s apartment beyond simply leaving a few belongings here and there as he came and went. Things hadn’t quietened down on the Bell front, but his landlady had served him yet another "final notice” that felt more ominously terminal than the others that had come before it. So between acclimating to his metagenesis and running errands for Bell, Chalcedony, and the Tellurides, he had found himself doing his best to at least scavenge the important things.

Like the leg lamp.

The leg lamp caused a huge fuss, and it ended up in the garbage at least twice. Cecil hated the thing, but it was one of ‘Choly’s most cherished possessions, one of the few things he felt his mother’s hoarding habits had yielded to benefit. He had no idea why it existed, or what cultural significance it might have had, but it was his and he loved it. Ultimately the lovers had to agree to disagree, and the leg lamp moved around the apartment as Cecil repeatedly disowned it. ‘Choly always returned it to the side-table beside the daybed he’d taken for his own.

'Choly had a sizable collection of physical copy novels, including his most prized possessions Roadside Picnic and Crash, the former of which being a nearly verbot relic and thrill token, a tangible piece of Quarter history. But, the stack of roughly a dozen novels paled as child’s play compared to the walls of Cecil’s apartment so densely lined with bookshelves that he also used them as sectional dividers. Cecil had been spelunking to rescue books since childhood, and he cultivated two very different collections from the life’s work: one at the physical copies wing of the library, a good third of it his own additions, and a second at home. His private collection was comprised of books which catered to his own personal interests, including many books too damaged to donate or too controversial to air in public.

Unprecedented for ‘Choly was the experience of a good Wi-Fi signal in a private setting. Cecil had left ‘Choly to the task of unpacking a couple of boxes while Cecil went to work for the day, and once ‘Choly felt like he had gotten sufficient progress, he treated himself to Web surfing unabated.

The notification sound of his chat app startled him, and at first he was disgruntled because an unfamiliar username was messaging him.

9augen: hey you havent been posting very much lately

9augen: everything all right?

9augen: this is rev by the way

«There you are, you stupid ghoul,» he thought to himself. «So you went silent for over a month and came back with a new username. Clever.»

ketherphorbia: *i* haven’t been posting much lately?

ketherphorbia: welcome back to the land of the living

9augen: not quite

9augen: i was just wondering. isnt like you. didnt even make a journal post

9augen: usually you vent if somethings wrong?

ketherphorbia: you’re honestly the only person who’s noticed the radio silence, ironically

9augen: why wouldnt i notice? youre my favorite for reasons you know

ketherphorbia: ...i guess if i can dish to somebody, it’d be you

ketherphorbia: i, well

ketherphorbia: i did it. i tried it.

9augen is typing...

9augen: whatd you get your hands on???

ketherphorbia: the junk that’s making all the stalkers sick. fluxeldrin. turns out my assumptions were wrong. it’s not what made the supermarket geek

9augen: ...

9augen: the slag does it do to a dreg then

ketherphorbia: a lot of what it did really slagging sucks. i’ve mentioned my joint disorder before. all those symptoms are magnified to a fault. i...

ketherphorbia: i kinda literally fall apart now

ketherphorbia: on the plus side, it did make me a meta. a really shitty meta, but ME. a META.

9augen: magic fall apart powers sound incredibly useful to me

9augen: haha pics or it didnt happen

ketherphorbia: yeah i thought you were as hard over this as me, you dreg

ketherphorbia is sending a file DSC39082_100-3493.JPG.

ketherphorbia: it stretches pretty far actually

9augen: fuck--

9augen: shit--

ketherphorbia: did i break you? you should see tricks my dick can do now

9augen: i--

ketherphorbia: i really need to take pics of that, but i’ve been kind of nervous to post ‘em anywhere

9augen: slagging cocktease the fuck man. im at a finnegans

ketherphorbia: sorry

9augen: no you arent. one of the reasons i love you

ketherphorbia: yeah no you’re right. you know me too well

9augen: ive told you before i think youre cute right

ketherphorbia: slag, the skin thing makes it hard to disagree with you

9augen: i never sent you a pic of me did i

ketherphorbia is typing...

ketherphorbia: i’m taken, y’know, but no. you haven’t.

9augen: i know. youre a chouay nasty little creature now like youve always wanted. maybe not the next clayface. but you still have got this teratophilic dregs heart pounding hard tonight

ketherphorbia: ...i try

9augen: theres a reason i havent sent you a pic before, but the reason i was quiet for the past month makes things a little more comfortable. i used to be pretty selfconscious about photographs

ketherphorbia is typing...

ketherphorbia: i have no idea what you could even possibly be going on about. you trying to tell me something happened last month? are you going to tell me what happened or not

9augen: The vampire stuff isn’t an act anymore.

ketherphorbia is typing...

ketherphorbia has stopped typing.

ketherphorbia: WHAT

9augen is sending a file DSC92734_101-2245.JPG.

ketherphorbia cancelled the file transfer.

9augen: the slag did you do that for

ketherphorbia: vampires don’t show up in pictures

9augen is sending a file DSC92734_101-2245.JPG.

9augen: very funny bugdick

ketherphorbia: ...a hybrid...?

9augen: im more lamprey than anything else. but theres a lot of nuance to the cocktail. fine tuning

ketherphorbia: ...gives a whole new meaning to ‘body modification.’ how the slag did you even get that done last month? isn’t that stuff banned?

9augen is typing...

9augen: slag i hear somebody griping at the waitress about the smell of me. like some dead thing crawled out of the bay. shes probably going to kick me out. i should get going anyway

ketherphorbia: rude. you a wifi hopper too then?

9augen is typing...

9augen: parting thought for you though. i want my mouth all over every inch of that metahuman skin of yours. just imagine all the perfect lancet marks making lace out of you.

ketherphorbia: you show up in pictures. i really doubt i could keep you away just by not inviting you in.

9augen: im pretty sure they just called the cops. not the evening i was anticipating

9augen: i gotta get a bite to eat. later dreg

9augen: and would you really do something to keep me away? ;)

ketherphorbia is typing...

9augen is offline.

ketherphorbia: did you just--

‘Choly nearly flung the reader once his friend logged off without further answers. Had Rev just implied what it had sounded like? After a minute of trying to calm down, he opened the vampire’s selfie again and stared. He’d snapped that picture in the Finnegan’s. Time-stamp aside, ‘Choly could recognize the newsprint-plastered walls in the background--that was a frequent Wi-Fi lurk for him. The fact the two shared a stomping ground but had never initiated meeting in person haunted ‘Choly a bit. But now, his friend was a lot less inconspicuous.

He decided to make lunch instead of try to linger on the chaos that just thrust itself upon him. Hours later, he was checking his mail on his reader, and had gotten correspondence from a 9augen email. The following thread of emails were exchanged over the course of just over two months.

▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

I suppose I do owe you an explanation, Kether. We’ve known each other long enough, and we trust enough enough. Yes, I did get the work done last month. Yes, that kind of work is verbot. Yes, I’m supposed to keep hush-hush about it until the coast is clear. But, I know I can trust you with the knowledge that the movement is still very much alive and kicking.

You like stories. How about some non-fiction for a change?

I didn’t know what to expect when I went to see him. Aside from what little understanding of splicing I had through news coverage, all I knew of it had been vampires in my coven who’d had the fortune--and I use that word in both senses--to have had work done while it was still legal, to become more like themselves and live as the creatures of the night they were in their souls.

There’s still a lot of under the table activity. Alleyways, clinics. People get work done however they can sneak it. One girl came into this one club a few months ago, even, said she’d traded a few sexual favors for the funds to get a splice that’d emulate albinism for her and would cut her teeth. She was having great difficulty keeping herself from feeding directly from the flesh afterward. They hadn’t used sterile equipment, and the last thing she wanted was to contaminate the coven or its donors. She became a pariah for her limitations after the coven learned of the blood disease. Requiring blood be drawn, rather than be capable of drawing it oneself, is weakness, and in one of us weakness is revolting. And she wasn’t strong enough to accumulate the funds to go about seeking a cure, to dig herself back out of her self-imposed grave.

I was so wary of botched jobs, of diseased implements, of cut dosages... Everything after the ban went into effect sounded too good to be true, that anyone might ever have the chance to get work done again by someone with both the credentials and accommodations to do it and do it well. A friend of a friend was in with one of the underground grafters, got us private referrals for a new project, at a cut rate due to it being a test procedure. None of us was given the same time. The location was a residential address, an apartment in the lower-mid of Union City. Nice, but still obviously it was an aging complex. A feathered girl greeted me and, after confirming I was alone, ushered me inside. Despite being a residential space, the whole place was set up like a laboratory. It was prodigious.

I went in with a lot of specific plans in mind. I told the grafter the things I wanted. Heavy on the bat serum. Wolf eyes. I had the money and the opportunity, and I was going to get exactly what I wanted out of it.

Turns out, I only thought I knew what I really wanted out of it.

Let me tell you. This Linnaeus is the most intimidating, persuasive, and completely dominating individual you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. He’s also probably the most brilliant. I couldn’t even begin to guess what species he’s got in him. In the month since, I’ve been told he specializes in splicing with extinct species. I would call bollocks on such a claim, but it sounds crazy enough to be one-hundred percent true.

After hearing the particulars of my desires, he thought a moment, paced. He pulled up a chair next to me and coolly asked me what vampire species I could name off the top of my head--besides the vampire bat. On the spot and overshadowed by his overwhelming aura, I could only stammer out something stupid, like mosquitoe or flea. I can’t remember exactly what answer I gave him, but I clearly remember his trite, patient laugh that came of it. At that point, he pulled out a graphics reader and tried to pitch to me an entirely different angle. I can only guess that an artist can draw so many of a thing before becoming tired of repetition, regardless of it being a commission. And I am starting to believe that the species I desired for the work simply didn’t push the envelope enough to fit the bill of his particular... project.

This was so much more than just getting the features of bat and wolf. This was about becoming myself. He’d deliberated the best way to give me what I’d be happiest with, and I had the impression he had the entire animal kingdom to sample from--within reason, of course, as he’s working within the shadows of the law. He told me briefly, without going into significant detail, that he was working on harnessing the strengths and idiosyncrasies of all life, going beyond the animal kingdom. It certainly sounds promising, whatever he means.

Ultimately, we came to the agreement that my splicing job would use the pacific lamprey as its base, but that I would get the vampire bat ears I’d sought coming to see him. The underlying work is complex, but everything is so finely tuned to enhance everything else. Cave salamander, and a strange anemone-like creature called a tunicate. Did you know the cave salamander has cultural roots with the Roma? The gills along my neck are mostly superficial, and the lungs don’t do much either--all that’s in my skin now. The nasal structure has a bit of a sonar thing to it, from both the salamander and lamprey; every smell is intense now. Slag, my mouth is filled with teeth now, cheeks ringed with lancets. Linnaeus tells me the tunicate helps with bloodborne pathogens. I later found it also helps with whatever I get exposed to in the bay.

Doesn’t help with the smell, though.

I’m glad that I could reach out to you, and keep correspondence with you. It’s taken a lot to get used to being aquatic, but I regret absolutely nothing that I’ve left behind. Living near the docks has been a slagged blessing. Perfect hunting grounds, and nobody bothers me so long as I stay off shore. I think you’d love hearing about the weird shit I find at the bottom of the bay. Believe it or not, it’s good money. Pawn shops hardly ever have the nerve to question where I got waterlogged goods. Not that it’s smart to question me. With this lean, cartilaginous skeleton, the splicing also yielded me significant height gain, mostly in my torso. The lengthening of my body was necessary to accommodate swimming muscles, but I slouch horribly so it’s hardly obvious just how tall I stand until I straighten up.

I so enjoy the shock value of doing that. Norms haven’t seen the likes of this nascent wave of chimeric hybrids, so I must be some kind of unholy cryptid to them. As though I’d continue unfolding in other ways were they to truly rile me. Admittedly, I do. ...But it’s rare to get a glimpse of the inside of my mouth.

I would love to meet you in person finally sometime. Get acquainted with one another’s new-found inhumanities. Get to play with that skin of yours. Show each other in person what the other’s body’s limits are. Maybe include your boyfriend in fooling around, if he’d be interested. I promise I won’t eat you, either of you, except perhaps in the most platonic sense. I cherish you too much.

Though really, I must admit, the hardest thing about adjusting to this wonderful luck of mine was finding a waterproof reader. Not that I get good Wi-Fi reception in the better half of the bay, nor that I’m able to recharge it without venturing onto land. I just don’t want to slag it up if I get it wet, you know?

This got meandering. I’m going to cut it off here, and leave everything open to discussion. It’s good to be back in touch with you. I wonder if, now that you’re what you write about, that you’ll write about yourself instead of just for yourself.

--Don’t be shy.

▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ �� ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

>I suppose I do... >You like storie... >I didn’t know w... >There’s still a... >I was so wary o... >I went in with ... >Turns out, I on... >Let me tell you... >After hearing t... >This was so muc... >Ultimately, we ... >Doesn’t help wi... >It’s taken a lo... >I so enjoy the ... >I would love to... >Though really, ... >This got meande... >--Don’t be shy.

I hope you understand how overwhelmed I am with all this.

I still don’t get how I didn’t pick up after all this time that you were in the vampire scene. That... kind of actually manages to make you even creepier than before. In a good way. I promise in a good way.

Understandable, then, I hope, just how jealous I am of you and what you have. This skin and bone deformity is nothing compared to having become an outright monster, complete with the appetites of one.

Slag it all, man.

You’ve got to tell me everything.

What was it like? To have the serum take effect? You must have been conscious.

Describe it to me.

Your semen must be very salty.

▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

>>I suppose... >>You like s... >>I didn’t k... >>There’s st... >>I was so w... >>I went in ... >>Turns out,... >>Let me tel... >>After hear... >>This was s... >>Ultimately... >>Doesn’t he... >>It’s taken... >>I so enjoy... >>I would lo... >>Though rea... >>This got m... >>--Don’t be...

>I hope you unde... >I still don’t g... >Understandable... >Slag it all, ma... >You’ve got to t... >What was it lik... >Describe it to ... >Your semen must...

Spouting off Ballard quotes at me. You must be a wreck...

Creepier than before? I suppose. You’ve always known my predilection for the classics. Fang and claw have always been a preference over tooth an nail.

What was it like? It was an utter entheogeny, my friend. Do you know what a grafting gun is like? To aid in the serum’s administration, it isn’t a single needle but six very fine-gauged needles, in a pneumatic hypodermic gun. In that medical implement, the approximation to vaccination is one which makes me smile to this day, chemicals which carried with them the proverbial antibodies which would make me capable of fighting off the plague of a chronic illness otherwise known to the public as “humanity.”

Linnaeus and his technician had before the procedure harnessed me like a modern Saint Andrew, the cross-like restraints having evolved thoroughly alongside the medicine which required them; their robotic cuffs could expand or contract, as could the distance of each of the hydraulic arcs of its aureole, which envelopd the entirety of the body of the device and acted as its structural integrity in the absence of a characteristic saltire structure.

He’d said that it had been difficult to replace this harness in particular after the ban, also said it had been necessary to be procured again. Implications lingered that the ban had bankrupted his agency, though there was something more to the specialty of this device. There had been incidents in the movement’s embryonic state, before he had implemented such measures as protective bondage.

He did not, however, go into further detail.

In deliberate irony or not, he went for the throat for the injection site. The serum itself felt much like a typical intravenous application, well-chilled and somewhat astringent. Heavy in the veins. Its seeming effervescence was not from gases, but of its heterogeneous components under high pressure. The syringe hisses pneumatically when it fires its contents into you One would suppose that someone with an aversion to needles would panic at hearing that sound in the sense of an injection; though, panic might be too considerate a word. Especially inches from one’s ear.

If he had not been referencing a phobia of needles in his practical necessity for the ring-like restraint system, however, it was the resultant agony of a teenage growth spurt, magnified across the span of the boughs of species, and sped up within a frame observable to the naked eye. It was as though I’d never truly experienced the metamorphosis to the adulthood I’d been meant to undertake. As a normal human being acclimates to his changing body, he might have his shins ache, or be inexplicably hungry, or suffer from bouts of hormone swings. All these things are exponentially worse when your cells are shifting between species, and trying to settle comfortably somewhere in between.

I never realized just what kind of masochist I was until that night.

Bone became cartilage. Skin became mucous membrane. Entire organs restructured themselves. There were entire minutes I could not breathe. My jaws dissolved, for the most part; simultaneously, the total surface of my expanding mouth sprouted dozens of rings of razor-sharp thorns. Nearly three times the vertebrae now comprise my spine. I was suffocating, and I was starving.

The metamorphosis extorts a great energy from a hybrid.

The feathered woman was the one to release me from the cross, whispering forth pedantic blandishments as I sank to rest on all fours. As I glared up at her, the extension of my external gills must have seemed more a threat display than a cry for oxygen. My head swam, but all of me needed to. I was too dizzy to take in anything either of them said, though I clearly recall the doctor finding some distinct pleasure and pride in how completely the serum had taken. “You’ll learn to breathe again,” I remember him admiring as the two of them permitted me at last to shove myself out the door and down the street.

I was fortunate that their secret clinic was so low in the city’s bowels, so close to the river. I didn’t care then how rank the water was, how I knew in my heart even just a fraction of the stuff might kill me. Water. I needed water. I don’t remember how I ended up at the dock, or how I ended up in the bay. I imagine I mostly flopped by inertia. The salt only stung for a moment, as it caught me off-guard; but then, as my faculties began to seep back into me, I could tell that the saline levels were facilitating my ability to breathe and take in the water.

So I was a saltwater fish now? I remember asking myself. It’s a good thing I’m a Jersey devil, then, I guess. I remember the insistent hunger, too, and that even then, my veins burned violently, especially those in my skull.

You know me well enough to know what state in which that experience left me. You also know me well enough to take pride in knowing this is an erotic work crafted for ketherphorbia, written for your own eyes only.

I suppose it’s not entirely out of line for me to return the favor, and ask you to describe your metagenesis.

A celebration. A coronation of wounds inflicted against the iniquity of manhood.

We’re both creatures now. More alike than either of us thought previous. Am I right?

I want to see more of you.

▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

>>I hope you... >>I still do... >>Understan... >>Slag it al... >>You’ve got... >>What was i... >>Describe i... >>Your semen...

>Spouting off Ba... >Creepier than b... >What was it lik... >Linnaeus and hi... >He’d said that ... >He did not, how... >In deliberate i... >If he had not b... >I never realize... >Bone became car... >The metamorphos... >The feathered w... >I was fortunate... >So I was a salt... >You know me wel... >I suppose it’s ... >A celebration. ... >We’re both crea... >I want to see m...

There are no words to convey just how arousing that sounds. I guess the best compliment I can give is to divulge the mighty fine time I’ve had rereading that last email. I can only imagine how the fuck the man knew how bad your autoerotic asphyxia was. Maybe he noticed the rope-like bruising on your neck... I’ll get off your case, but I won’t stop getting off on your case. :)

You want to know how it went? The story’s one testament after another of my own clumsiness and stupidity. It started with a date with Cecil at the coffee shop on Garden Center. The woman spearheading Tri-City’s EPA presence had decided that same shop would be where she would unwind after the day she’d been having, and a point of conversation with Cecil resulted in her burning ears shouldering in to both drop information and grab some of her own from us. One thing led to another, and I ended up with enough information to suggest not just where the Supermarket Geek had taken his spill, but what it had been he spilled in.

I vacillate whether I have hindsight not to have researched my facts further before acting upon them. But it was enough for me, that the conversation had yielded an unprecedented factoid, to the point that said information spurred a particular writing session.

I don’t know if you read the “Quarter Oysters” wip I threw up on my blog a while back. I’ve written more recent things, but there are a number of reasons I can’t share them. Really, though. I don’t know. Maybe I can share them with you. You’ve already made me an accomplice to slag all of verbot shit. Turnabout’s fair play...

Any rate... After writing “Quarter Oysters,” I snuck out of the house and broke into the dump site I’d had described to me. The place was littered with toxic waste drums. In several spots, they were stacked up over a story high. I’d never seen such a thing be so organized as this. Many of them were leaking to spite their order. Some of them even glowed. There were two guards stationed, and I managed to duck them once; they’d almost found me the first time because I’d slipped and thrown out my knee, but I chewed on the shoulder of my shirt and reset it while in hiding. I found a drum of Fluxeldrin cordoned off by tape, and I had my tippling cane with me, so I had a vial to sample of it. I’d have taken more than one, since the cane contained four, but I already heard them coming for me, and I couldn’t hide fast enough. So, I only took the one and hastily reassembled my cane, rather than risk getting caught actively stealing it. They threw me out of the Yard, but they thought I’d just been a snooping idiot cripple. For once my youthful look and decrepit demeanor benefited me. They had no idea I’d smuggled my prize.

I shambled down the street and found myself a safe place where I could mull things over in private. The place was run down, even for a half-completed apartment complex. I’m not even joking, it was creepy as hell. Someone had been living there, I’m sure of it, and from what I saw in the rotting pressboard cabinets, I’m sure they were cooking drugs or bombs or something. There was even a nasty spring-box mattress there. And a bathtub, but not attached to anything. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the kind that installs into where the floor and wall meet when it’s just a free-floating hunk of fiberglass, but they are unsettling as hell when they’re not installed.

My reader was going dead because I’d used it as a flashlight while retrieving my prize, so I couldn’t really research after the fact. I knew Cecil would freak if he found me in possession of the stuff, so I had to act on it then and there. I didn’t have enough to rub it into my skin and get even coverage, so I decided like an idiot I had to drink it for maximum effect. Fluxeldrin glows an aggressive lime green, is oily like antifreeze, and smells like rotten cut flowers but worse. The consistency of it made it cling to every surface of my innards that it came into contact with, and the smell and taste of it had me fighting all compulsion to regurgitate every last drop of it along with all my organs. I flung the vial after downing its contents, too caught up in the moment to realize the recklessness of it. Fighting the urge to vomit, hands on my mouth trying to keep my lips clenched tightly together, I ultimately collapsed on the mattress, not even caring about the grime.

When I awoke, there was blood on the mattress where my face had been, crusted up around my nose and mouth. I threw out the same knee again upon trying to stand--but this time, I threw it out as though the joint weren’t actually connected, and I spilled out on the cement floor. I really wish my reader hadn’t been dead by then, because I would kill right now for a photograph of something that can make me vomit. And I mean I puked to the bile, the way that the fall had disheveled my leg. Couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I managed to get it back together, and gather my belongings. Putting my cane back together, I barely managed to get to my date with Cecil for lunch the next day.

I bullshat some stupid excuse about having had to hit the yards early that morning for something time sensitive. The night before he’d suggested that he could get me a job working at the Central Library, and after lunch he dragged me up there to show me around. I was interested in doing all this, really I was... but it was so hard with all my joints feeling like every surface was over-oiled. With fifteen minutes to closing time, I ran into the Geek trying to use his library card for the first time. Meeting him, I can guarantee you he’s a stalker too. ...I made an idiot out of myself and really shook him up trying to get him to eat my finger splints. I’m still messed up over that.

But that doesn’t even get to the verbot shit. The stress of having slagged up first impressions with the Geek had me pretty literally falling apart. All the physical problems my joint disorder’s inured me to, that all’s magnified by what the Fluxeldrin did to me. Worse for wear, I ended up trying to get in with Dr. Bell before the All’s Well Clinic closed for the evening. I didn’t manage it. So, I did the logical thing and broke in through the back door with the intent to “borrow” some pain pills, and wait out the night to see him first thing in the morning. The first week I was like this was the most excruciating, man. This condition has the unprecedented ability to drive me to do just about anything to alleviate these systems, when they flare up. And breaking and entering a pharmaceutical storage wasn’t outside the realm of what felt acceptable in my present state that night...

I fell face-first into Bell’s racket. He’s the only doctor in the city with knowledge of the metahuman condition, and the only one whom I can reasonably see helping me cope with what the Fluxeldrin did to me--but it comes at with a high price tag. I know his deal, but he has that B&E hanging over me. If I don’t do exactly what he says, he’s got ways to make my life hell. And he’s got me running shopping errands for him for the truck he cooks for his projects. He’s the heart of the Quarter, I just know it.

I’m so torn on the right thing to do because my dick doesn’t want what’s taking place to ever stop. I guess I’m telling you not just that I trust you not to tell anybody, but that I want some input on what kind of person it makes me, to be going along with this madness to avoid the fallout of shaking the foundation everything’s tentatively scattered upon. I’m scared, Rev. For Bell’s victims, for me, for Cecil. For everybody who’s ever gotten sick in the Quarter.

This got really long-winded and meandered into a “from one friend to another” situation. So, to make it up to you, a quick and dirty recap:

I broke into a stalking yard and stole a flask of fluxeldrin. And drank it. I drank something that fluoresced neon lime green, smelled and tasted like rot, and felt like gasoline. Something I knew could kill me. Something I knew was banned in its industry of origin due to its health hazards. I drank that. And it made me the shittiest meta that will likely ever be.

It’d be nice to meet, but I’m not sure how that would even work. You said you’re a fish now, but you’d be a fish out of water... Even I know better than to go anywhere near the toxic soup that dares to call itself Hudson Bay...

▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

>>Spouting o... >>Creepier t... >>What was i... >>Linnaeus a... >>He’d said ... >>He did not... >>In deliber... >>If he had ... >>I never re... >>Bone becam... >>The metamo... >>The feathe... >>I was fort.. >>So I was a... >>You know m... >>I suppose ... >>A celebrat... >>We’re both... >>I want to ...

>There are no wo... >You want to kno... >I vacillate whe... >I don’t know if... >Any rate... Aft... >I shambled down... >My reader was g... >When I awoke, t... >I bullshat some... >But that doesn’... >I fell face-fir... >I’m so torn on ... >This got really... >I broke into a ... >It’d be nice to...

Delight is in the details. Oh, would I have never expected a short story written explicitly for mine eyes alone--let alone with such minutiae of gauche detail! Were it under suspicion of being fiction, I would think you a master for the unfortunate believability of your tale; that the course of events you’ve described can’t not have happened.

I’ve been around the coastline of the Quarter since my rebirth. The scent you described is very potent for this nose, these gills. If I were to hazard assumptions, I do believe the stuff has begun to seep into the water table, into the river. Of all the areas of the waterways around this city I can’t tolerate, it’s there, believe it or not. Something about it is fundamentally repulsive, and no matter what it is, I can’t shake what feels like an archetypal fear of it. So, for you to so casually narrate your deliberate pursuit of obtaining this Fluxeldrin business, and so flippantly have imbibed it... Well, I harbor a revolting admiration for you.

You do find yourself between a rock and a hard place, I imagine. Several. Or maybe, you simply find yourself hard between all these rocks. I won’t force details, though I can certainly read between the lines. It’s difficult to say. But, knowing you...I needn’t remind you how often we’ve shared the fantasy of some pandemic mutating the masses like some fabric-rending reality, culling the unfit. Everything is perfect.

The world is fluorescing into wounds, as you so describe.

To say you’d kill for something graphic enough to make you retch. I’d love to see it, too. Systemically disarticulate you, just to watch what you’d do. Stretch out that stuff that used to be your skin, curious how translucent it is, admire the veins.

Calling the bay an unapproachable toxic soup, though? I survive just fine in it. It’s all I have, Kether.

Regardless.

I’m sure we can determine a way to make this work.

#the world was beginning to fluoresce into wounds #neinaugen #9augen #melanochro kara #a maze of pain and insane fantasies

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atakportal · 6 years ago

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Cell Expansion Protocol

New Post has been published on https://www.atak.co/2018/07/04/cell-expansion-protocol/

Cell Expansion Protocol

Product Name: Cell Expansion Protocol

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Description:

Hey, what’s up? I’m Ben Pakulski, and I am going to tell you the secret to gaining POUNDS of lean muscle every week. Yeah, I said POUNDS, while stripping off your body fat at the same time….And the WILDEST part of it all?

Today you’ll witness a bizarre new cutting-edge technique used by pro fitness athletes and movie stars to pack on muscle faster than most so-called experts think is possible

I’m not talking about a few pounds of muscle that no one but your grandma will notice

I’m talking about head-spinning, attention-demanding muscle that puts you in a league all your own in the gym. And packing it on in FAR less time than most guys train

PLUS without sacrificing your lifestyle to do it.

Do you really think these skinny actors who all of a sudden look like Greek Gods, or guys like me who make their living by being huge, don’t have a few tricks up their sleeve?…

If you think it’s some magical supplement, 8 hours in the gym (like I’ve heard some guys claim, which is BS), or the right “gear”, if you know what I mean

Listen: I know guys who do these insanity-bragging workouts and take stuff they give HORSES just to gain a few measly ounces of muscle

Most of them STILL fail to pack it on, because they haven’t got a clue how to REALLY train for maximum mass.

Have a look at the guys I’ve shared this secret with, this represents just a handful of my so-called, “Guinea Lion Group”:

Can’t call them pigs because now they’re all freakin’ ripped!

Your recovery is rocketed through the roof

You spend HALF the time guys currently spend in the gym

MUCH MORE time resting and eating normal food

And you’ll STILL gain MORE muscle and absolutely shred your body fat

I’m talking about several POUNDS of lean muscle every week.

And it all happens thanks to a style of training I��ll reveal today.

A protocol that’s a whopping FOUR MINUTES LONG.

One that stimulates the production of a highly unique super recovery muscle helper cell, called satellite cells.

This is just THE muscle-building info you didn’t know about until today.

Look, I know you’re curious, and I’ll explain all of this in a few minutes.

Because it will forever change the way you approach weight training, and even how you think about dieting… FOR GOOD!

I just have to WARN YOU about something, and you have to promise you’ll take this warning seriously before you continue reading!

A certain search engine is trying to get this information BANNED because I’m pissing off a lot of really HUGE supplement companies and magazines.

These guys have billions of dollars, plenty of cash to sue my ass, and there’s no way I’m going to be able to keep this website live much longer if this pressure continues

So, you best be sure you do just that:

– Read this now, while it’s still on the Internet

– Listen, if you have been told there “is no secret” to building muscle, or that you can only build muscle “slowly”

– Or, worse than that, you can gain muscle, but you’ll pack on some fat while doing it

…And today, I’ll prove it to you

I’m a pro bodybuilder, so you can only imagine what I’ve seen guys do out of desperation and greed over precious muscle

I’ve seen guys train for 7 straight hours

I’ve seen dudes take outrageous amounts of illegal gear, enough to kill them if they keep it up

And I’ve seen thousands of guys like you:

Good guys who are just wanting to add 10, 20, maybe even 30 pounds of rock-hard muscle in just the right places

A bigger chest, better arms, cut abs, and delts that look so killer, it looks like you’d have to turn sideways to get through a door

You want more attention? (hey, it’s normal)

Attention from women? (sure, it’s gonna happen)

Jealous friends in the gym? (bound to happen too)

And with that attention comes respect, confidence, and the POWER to really move through life like an Alpha animal

Taking charge, making it happen, and forging a life out of iron… one that YOU control, not that controls YOU!

In over 15 years of training, I’ve never seen anything come close to this almost ALIEN method of gaining muscle

You’ll end up the strongest guy in the gym, even though this isn’t about “lifting heavy”

You’ll end up totally lean with that beach-ready body you want because this method of training automatically burns body fat

More body fat than you can ever burn off by starving yourself

How fast? 200% faster than traditional weight training! We’re talking about you adding POUNDS of lean muscle every week. Not every month, every week

That’s 10 pounds in less than 5 weeks, 20 pounds in less than 10 weeks… As much muscle as you desire!

Guess what’s feeding all that new muscle on your body?

Your unwanted, unwelcome, downright UGLY body fat

This one technique, revealed in detail within this free presentation, gives you more muscle mass faster, and it WORKS by using your own body fat for fuel…

That’s right: you get bigger and leaner at the SAME TIME!

And that’s what you really want

Getting LEANER as you get BIGGER makes everything look and feel HARDER

Just like these guys have done, and literally hundreds of other guys I shared this one stealth technique with over the past several months

And let me save you some time:

You’ll never hear about this in a magazine, because I’ve made 100% sure EVERYONE I shared it with kept their mouths shut about it

This unusual method of training was just reviewed and studied by a major university, and I didn’t want anyone talking about their insane results until after this training protocol was proven to work scientifically

So, while all these guys changed their body within WEEKS instead of months or years, without taking illegal gear of any kind, and without even giving up the foods they enjoy eating or having a few beers with their buds

I wasn’t ready to tell the world about this muscle revolution until I had the science to back it up

Now, I’m ready, and I guarantee YOU better be ready to buy some new shirts, because after today you’ll need ’em, unless you like the Hulk look and don’t mind ripped-out sleeves, or just wearing tank tops everywhere

You must be ready for a load of questions from strangers, like, “How big ARE your arms, man?” and, “I bet you can bench press a freakin’ HOUSE, right?”

And yeah, you’ll have so many guys asking you HOW you got the body you’re about to have, you can start charging hard cash to give them the answers, and they’ll pay you

Pay attention, because this is the only place you’ll ever hear about it, and that’s because I’m the guy who invented it, and who put it to the test in university studies

Each of these balloons represents one of your muscle cells.

Get these cells bigger, and YOU get bigger, and I bet you know that already

Now, here’s what you may have never heard before:

You build muscle WHILE RESTING, not while at the gym

Stimulate your muscles into growth… Period! End of story.

Stimulate, then go home and eat, that’s what you do

You don’t just, “lift weights”

Come on man, you KNOW for a fact that isn’t working for you

It’s the way you lift during your last 4 minutes of an exercise that makes ALL the difference

These 4 minutes create 200% more muscle gains… FACT, not theory, and these 4 minutes are the difference between looking average

First, it takes every cell in your muscle fibers. And, just like a balloon..

Normal training tears down muscle fibers and forces your body to go into crisis mode, trying like hell to repair it before your next workout

However, you can expand a cell without experiencing this recovery crisis

In fact, that’s exactly what my patented, university-proven system is called:

Cell Expansion Protocol Training, or CEP Training for short

It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced, and it takes a whopping four minutes per exercise to automatically trigger the CEP Response

So, rather than ripping your fibers to shreds, you selectively stimulate

You use the 4-minute CEP Training Principle to force every cell in every muscle into hyper-recovery mode

If you were to train the old-fashioned way, this balloon would swell up temporarily.

That’s the pump we all love, right?

And as you know, that pump goes away

Now, imagine if your pump never went away?

What if you were given the key to “tricking” your muscles cells into expanding and expanding

And your cells recovered so quickly, it looks as if you have a CONSTANT PUMP?

How would that feel? Orgasmic, that’s how

I’m going to demonstrate on video CEP Training for Biceps today

So by the time this presentation ends, you’ll at least be able to get started using CEP with your biceps

So keep watching, unless you enjoy having skinny arms

Now, there’s a reason why this happens with CEP Training, and not with any other form of muscle-building training

And why it cuts everyone’s gym time nearly IN HALF at the same time

It goes back to what I mentioned to you before: Satellite cells

Satellite cells are cells made by your body to help repair muscle damage

So, just think about it for a second:

If you stimulate your muscles using CEP, And CEP produces FAR MORE satellite cells than traditional training

That means you recover much faster

And faster recovery means faster muscle growth, because a muscle ONLY grows during recovery

Getting the really big picture now?

Plus 4 minutes of CEP Training at the end of a movement

And you get a load more of your body’s most powerful muscle-building recovery cells speeding to your aching body parts

Blasting your recovery through the roof

And expanding the size and volume of each muscle cell

Expanded Cells means MASS

10 pounds, 15 pounds, 25 pounds, hell, 100 pounds if you want

It’s all the same training, the only difference is the amount of food you eat

Your body is literally FORCED to expand its muscles cells in response to CEP Training

And your body gets the fuel it needs to expand your cells from your stored body fat

Sure, if you eat 7 pizzas a day, it will use that for fuel

Yet, if you’re eating half-way normally, your body fat will be ROBBED to pay the energy price of all that satellite cell production and cell expansion

And that gives YOU the body you want

By now, you’re wanting to get started using CEP as soon as possible

And the question you have is HOW:

How do you get started? What do you do first?

And then you can try to figure the rest out on your own

Good luck with that, because you’ll need it

CEP Training is extremely specific to each body part

What works for biceps definitely will NOT work for chest, for example

Or, you can man-up, admit that you want a Mr. Olympia-caliber bodybuilder to personally COACH YOU

Radically decreasing the time it will take for you to walk down the beach with a body other guys would kill for

Or hang by the pool in the skimpy bikini-clad hottie section and let the women fight over who got your attention first!

Or, just look the way you’ve always wanted to look when you go out on the town

Whatever you want, this is the fastest track to give it to you:

This video is literally 5 minutes – it takes me only 5 MINUTES to get you started using CEP in your very first workout

So, if you’re like me and you’re in a hurry, this video alone is worth its weight in gold

And, if you’re like a lot of guys I coach, guys who want every little detail spelled out so they couldn’t mess it up if they tried

Then here’s what else I have for you today:

Not only will you want to KNOW the secrets, you’ll want to know HOW to apply them so you can start TRANSFORMING your body NOW! Not tomorrow, TODAY!

This guide will show you how to bring theory to the REAL WORLD in meathead English that even the most hardcore numbskull can understand and start getting their BEST RESULTS EVER.

Good results start with good nutrition… AMAZING results start with CEP-style Nutrition!

Ever wonder what’s best to eat and when? Ever confused after reading bullshit article after bullshit article? Do you ever think what really is the best approach to achieving your dream physique?

Solution… the MI40-X Nutrition Guide!

The cutting-edge principles laid out here will provide the building blocks for your INSANE transformation… a complicated topic with complicated tactics made STUPID SIMPLE…

This guide will be your go-to resource from here on out, something you can refer to again and again..

God results start with good nutrition… AMAZING results start with CEP-style Nutrition!

With a billion dollar industry breathing down your neck 24/7, it’s hard to separate fact from fiction… and with so many supplements out there, who’s got time to do the research?

Well, BPak’s got your back! 😉

This guide not only tells you THE best supplements, it tells you WHEN to take them in a WHOLE RANGE of different situations….

Not sleeping well? …I’ve got a protocol for that!

Feel like you want to be able to push harder in the gym? …covered!

On a budget? …I’ll lay out just the essentials so you can work with what you have!

I’ll even tell you where to buy all this stuff easily and quickly so you can get reputable products, PROVEN to work, to help you start GAINING muscle and DROPPING that ugly belly fat FAST!

All your questions answered… all the info you need so you can spend your time making progress, not online searching for clues!

I’ve taken the most common questions from those testing the program and broken them down in detail.. you’ll be quickly on the FAST-TRACK to a SHIRT-RIPPING chest and perfectly cut ABS!

A Guide you can quickly reference at any time, so you can spend more time DOING and less time sitting around trying to figure it out.

The most intelligent muscle-building workouts EVER designed, ready to print and take with you to the gym.

No matter your starting point, I’ve got a workout for you!

3 levels of workouts that will kick your butt… but leave you wanting more!

Think you’re advanced and can handle anything thrown your way? Well Mr. Awesome, give the Pro workouts a whirl and I GUARANTEE you’ll be coming back to me with your tail between your legs!

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

These are THE workouts you NEED to surpass anything you’ve ever done in the gym, and cause GROWTH that transforms your body in 6 short weeks! Time to take things to the next level!

To get the best out of MI40-X… form is key!

A world class program such as MI40-X requires world class attention to detail to get the most out of it! To make sure you possess THE most OPTIMAL form… that you are on the road to having a world-class MIND-MUSCLE connection just like the elite-level pros… you MUST run through this program!

Years of poor lifting combined with an extreme program are a recipe for disaster! This program, in combination with the training videos and execution guide, will provide IDEAL preparation for MI40-X… after this, you’ll be ready to hit the ground running and soon making the GAINS of your life!

….this guide is a learning curve for many, but an ideal primer for ALL!

A no-brainer as to what this is right?

This guide not only tells you what to eat and when to eat it… but the diet is specifically designed to prepare your body to MAXIMALLY use EVERY oz of nutrition and supplementation you give it as you run through the MI40-X program!

If your body isn’t efficiently using what it gets, then do you expect your results to be optimal? Of course not! The chances are high that what you’re eating now has left your body in a poor state to jump right into MI40-X… you’ll be wanting AMAZING results, not ‘okay’ results. To make sure that happens… enter, the 7-Day Detox Diet! A perfect companion to the Primer Phase!

I recommend you run this program for up to 3 weeks before jumping into MI40-X… but even if you’re just too excited and just can’t wait that long to begin the program, even a week on this diet will have you well on the way to achieving results you didn’t think possible!

This diet is a great addition to your nutrition arsenal away from the MI40-X program too – you can use it for one week out of every month to optimize your health, and to increase the chances of success on any other program you may decide to engage in in the future.

Every body part, every exercise, every freakin’ detail spelled out for you so there’s absolutely zero guesswork needed on your part.

You’ll always know EXACTLY what to do, and precisely how to do it.

The Execution Guide is your exercise bible for recreating your physique from head to toe using super-simple, common sense, no BS-style instruction that has only one goal in mind:

Your most muscular, ripped, and perfect body!

Inside, you’ll discover the methods of training you absolutely MUST AVOID if you want to actually LOOK like you lift.

Face it, most guys who train look like they play soccer or something…

You want to look like a dude with MUSCLE!

So, turn to page 6 as soon as you get the Blueprint in your hands to discover all the messed-up training methods that the magazines and idiot gym rats have tried to pass off as fact.

They are keeping you from the body you want!

They literally HALT muscle growth and PROMOTE more fat storage!

You’ll also discover the reason why I insist you enjoy your food…

Even as CEP Training is stripping all that unwanted fat off your body, you’ll be laughing in the faces of guys doing hours of cardio, HOPING they’ll see an ab one day, if they’re lucky!

With CEP, you don’t NEED CARDIO.

And you don’t need to overdo it on the diet…

Listen: I know you enjoy a few beers with your friends, and that you have better things to do than eat all damn day!

That’s why I made the CEP Training nutrition guidelines so dead simple.

Now, that’s not all you’ll be receiving today:

I’ll be your personal trainer on every exercise, so you can be 100% confident you’re doing the CEP training to get all the benefits!

Yet, the Library offers you a lot more than that:

I break every CEP Training exercise down into 3 phases, just in case you’re just starting out, or you’re fairly experienced, or perhaps you’re a fitness pro… doesn’t matter:

Everyone, from newbie natural to pro athlete is covered in these 3 phases!

Plus, each video focuses on ONE body part, so you can pick and choose which body parts you most want to focus on.

Some guys want bigger arms right away, so you can start there…

You font-18px text-bold opensans it, it’s covered in the CEP Training Video Library

And here’s why you need this:

CEP Training cannot be done for every exercise

Only specific exercises use CEP Training

And, if you try it on the WRONG exercise, watch out

You’ll end up getting nowhere, or worse.

That’s why you need the ENTIRE SET of my training videos, to make SURE you use only the CEP-Approved Movements

AND to guarantee you stay super-motivated for as long as you need to get that body you desire

These videos contain a TON of tips that only pros know to get the most out of every second you spend in the gym

So you can spend LESS time, and get the hell out and go enjoy your life

Knowing you’ve done just the right amount of ass-kicking work to stimulate those cells to expand.

Now, you may believe that a program this unique is pretty damn expensive

With all the time and money I’ve invested into it — almost three years of research, testing, paying lab geeks to prove the theory to be fact — not to mention the decades of training and learning I’ve done to bring it all together in my own body…

I did what any other guy would do

And that would be a steal

I said, “Ben, even though you decided to release this to the world, you have to keep it stealth”

Otherwise, MY competition will just get tougher

And, to be honest, since I treat every MI40 CEP Member like a kid brother, I just don’t have the time or energy to spend by letting a million guys into the mix

If you’re reading this presentation, that means I’m close to that goal

Some dude that thinks because he has a certificate that took him a week to earn, he knows how the hell to train YOU

Most so-called “trainers” piss me off because they haven’t got a CLUE how to help the average guy build crazy muscle insanely fast

Hey, if you carelessly decide to try one of these (cough, laugh) “trainers” make damn sure he’s CEP Certified

Sure, there are rich guys that pay us that kind of cash, I’m just offering you a rare opportunity to get the same exact value for a fraction of the cost!

Worst of all, you’ll be wasting TIME, which is the most valuable thing in the universe

And allow me to hand you the MI40 CEP Training System personally in a matter of seconds from now

Just click the button below:

Click that button, and the keys to more eye-catching, jaw-dropping muscle in less than HALF the time will be handed to you today

Muscle that is created using your BODY FAT for fuel

So you get bigger and more ripped at the same time

And, you do it all with a 4-minute CEP Training Protocol

More muscle and less fat in literally DAYS from now. Not months, DAYS!

For what you probably spend on two months worth of protein powder, you can get a plan to actually get the body you always wanted…

I found the original MI40 plan and thought “That’s it I’ve changed my life, training can’t get better”! I was so so wrong!

I regularly posted online about MI40 and how the principals were making huge changes to my physique. However, I thought to myself, what do I do now?

Luckily Ben and his team had seen me talking about MI40 and let me know about the NEW MI40X program. I was actually blown away by this program. This is not a program for the feint of heart, having done the Graduate and Pro levels (2 of 3 levels of workouts that come with the program) I can attest to this. Graduate (intermediate) is a HARD HARD level, I’d say it’s just a slightly less painful version of the PRO version, but it’s still insane.

I found my body constantly changing, growing and somehow, getting leaner. I was doing totally new things with my muscles and they were responding every single session. Before I started MI40X I was 186lbs, upon completing the graduate level I was up to 200lbs! I was blown away, this wasn’t 14lbs of fat either, this is good quality lean mass.

I can’t thank Ben enough for creating this as it has allowed me to totally transform my physique and get me noticed when I walk around the gym. Now it’s everywhere I have people asking me how on earth I did this…MI40X baby!

After completing Hypertrophy MAX this past year, I was amazed at how far my body had come from where I started. However, I had no idea just how my body was about to transform throughout MI40X. Utilizing intra-set stretching, CS-6 sets, and the unique rep tempos positioned my body for optimum muscle growth. The workouts were unbelievably challenging as well as rewarding. Throughout the 6 weeks my 10 rep squat weight went from 185lbs to 245lbs, gained 7lbs, but most importantly my mind muscle connection increased 10 fold. Now I can utilize the right muscles at the right times using intention and initiating with the working muscle. I’m super excited to see how my body changes from here with this new knowledge!

I’m very pleased with my results. I know I could’ve cranked up my intensity in the first half of the program. I really wanted improve my mind/muscle connection, which I did. This proved to be more a mental challenge for me even more than a physical one. I had a lot of things that could’ve derailed my efforts, somehow I managed through it to finish. I’m my heaviest I’ve ever been at 182lbs. I gained 14lbs overall!

I had previously done MI40 and learned so much from that program that I didn’t think it was possible to outdo it. Wrong! I absolutely loved MI40X and am truly honored to have been one of the “chosen ones” to try it out before it is released to the public! I’ve been a NASM certified personal trainer for 6 years now and it just amazes me that despite how much fitness knowledge I possess, there is just SO MUCH more to be learned. MI40X included some techniques I had never tried in the past, such as the intra-set stretching, that really pushed me to new limits. Additionally, I had never dreamed of doing straight sets of 21 reps on heavy compound exercises like deadlifts, having typically done only lower reps of these exercises at the beginning of a workout. And the split designs in general were so different from my norm. Also, like everyone else I had my favorite go to exercises. This program pushed me to do exercises I normally avoided, like reverse grip pull-ups, which I have come to love.

As a result of all these elements, I believe I got well above-average gains for me, particularly when considering the short six-week timeframe. My upper body, and in particular my chest, really grew noticeably. I will without a doubt be doing this program again and feel confident that I will get even more out of it the second time around now that I have a good grasp of how much I can push my body.

I am always trying to learn new ways to improve my training and technique. Being a competitive bodybuilder myself, improvements are everything. When Ben came out with the original MI40 I was all over it. MI40 completely changed my way of thinking in every way from training, to nutrition and supplementation. I learned so much in that 6 weeks and it really took my physique to an all new level.

Just when I thought nothing could match the quality and knowledge of MI40, Ben outdoes himself again by introducing the all new MI40X” completely blowing any other training program out of the water. Having done the original MI40 first, it really helped me to understand and execute MI40X to the absolute fullest. Let me tell you, the results and improvements SHOWED.

Before I started MI40X I was a fairly lean 185lbs, at the end of the program I was a leaner 195lbs. Yes that’s right BIGGER and LEANER! I didn’t even think that was possible in such a short time period. Not to mention I put on 2 inches on my legs, 3 inches in shoulder width and a whole inch on my arms. Let me tell you my arms are my most stubborn body part to grow, MI40X made them grow. With a gain of 10lbs in lean muscle, all the improvements I’ve made, and the amount of knowledge I’ve gained, MI40X was well worth all the pain and suffering the workouts caused.

I’ve already recommended to so many of my friends and people around the gym that they try both MI40 and MI40X, and I have yet to hear of an unsatisfied customer. In fact, they just come back asking for MORE. I am proud and thrilled to say that I am proof that this program works. This program is so clear-cut and full of in-depth knowledge that I feel as if I know Ben personally. If you are looking to completely change your way of training for the better and take your physique to an all new level, MI40X will provide nothing less than the best.

My MI40X results were pretty awesome!. I am extremely pleased with the muscle gains I made! This program changed the way I think, feel, and look at hard training. Not only were the different training concepts extremely challenging for the body, and beyond anything I could have imagined. The most discipline I experienced was the battle of the mind, pushing through and taking myself to a level I couldn’t even conceive. It’s almost like an outer-body experience. I was excited for every workout, dreaded every workout, destroyed every workout, and felt like superwoman after every workout. Loved this program!

I must start by saying that MI40X was the most challenging forty day feat I have ever attempted, let alone completed! I am not new to Ben Pakulski’s training style or his methodologies, but nothing could have prepared me for MI40X. The system was grounded in the basic principles introduced in the original MI40, but the intensity was kicked up to an unforeseen level. The physical and mental toll it took on me were unparalleled, and so were the gains!

The program starts out in traditional MI40 fashion, with intense exercises that leave you completely wiped out in under 60 minutes. After three weeks I was about as spent as I was after all forty days of the original MI40!

Hey, 3 times the muscle demands 3 times the guarantee

I only want guys in the MI40 Posse who are willing to work their ASS OFF for a short period of time in the gym

Yeah, I said “work”” it’s super-fast, and it’s only 4 minutes on top of a set”but it’s a challenging 4 minutes

And frankly, some guys are pussies

They want to get bigger by swallowing a “˜magic pill’ and sitting on their ass all day

So, I actually WANT to give guys like that their money back”I don’t want lazy-ass sheep around the MI40 lions

That’s why I give you 60 full days on me to figure out if you have 4 minutes of kick-ass in you

That’s the first part of my Triple Guarantee

The second part is this: If you don’t think this is the most incredible workout breakthrough EVER”as in EVER”then you DESERVE your cash back

Now, I can tell you not one person has ever taken me up on that part of my guarantee, but it’s there just in case you’re a unique case

Now, the 3rd part of my Triple Guarantee goes like this:

Even if you don’t like the COLORS I used in the MI40 CEP Training System manuals”the fonts I use”the way I talk”you font-18px text-bold opensans it:

If for ANY REASON you don’t feel as if this was the single best investment you’ve ever made in your self and your body

Just because, when it’s all said and done, my passion is all about helping guys like you achieve their dream body

How’s that for a rock-solid guarantee?

You can definitely benefit from the ground breaking protocols and research in MI40-XTREME 2.0. I’ve made a conscious effort to incorporate exercises and machines that are extremely common or easy to replicate in home gyms. That being said, the program does include some equipment you will need find in a gym. If you’re experienced in home gym training, you can definitely make it work.

These are two completely different programs. Unfortunately, there is no added discount off the already heavily discounted price. I highly recommend you complete the original MI40. Foundation program prior to diving into the MI40-XTREME 2.0-Xtreme program

MI40-XTREME 2.0 is a completely downloadable series of e-manuals, digital videos and audio files. No physical products will be shipped. After you order, you will get INSTANT ACCESS to download all product components onto your computer (no waiting or shipping costs!). The format for all manuals, workbooks, checklists, etc, is Adobe Acrobat PDF, which can be viewed on Mac or PC.

MI40-XTREME 2.0 is the culmination of all of the most effective shortcuts I have ever come across and developed to build muscle and get lean in less time. It’s radically different from anything the popular bodybuilding websites and magazines teach and was “birthed” from my exhaustive education from the world’s brightest doctors, therapists, and performance coaches.

The mechanism behind the effectiveness of MI40-XTREME 2.0 are NOS & Intent. NOS stands for Neurological Overload Sets and contributes to muscle growth and to the overcoming of plateaus. It’s THIS set that ensures you never walk out of the gym wondering, “Did I do enough?” and on the flip side it ensures you never worry, “Did I overtrain?” Intent teaches you how to “feel” your muscles when going heavier and heavier presents more risk than reward. It is the ideal tool to exhaust your muscles safely.

The number forty has been proven to be the ideal amount of time for virtually every muscle-building variable: everything from the length of time it takes to adapt to a new program, workout length, set length, rest period length, best-foods, and best-exercises. Every aspect that is missing in your training is contained here for long-lasting gains.

MI40-XTREME 2.0 is the perfect program for anyone looking to improve the quality of their time in the gym and improve the appearance of their physique. In short, it’s strategically designed to get big and lean in less time.

You SHOULD be following MI40-XTREME 2.0 if you want to lose weight. This is the most optimal way to train, for someone looking to change their body composition; i.e., increase lean muscle mass and burn fat mass because it is brief, intense, and harnesses the power of your fat-burning hormones.

MI40-XTREME 2.0 is not circuit-style weight training, which can certainly help you lose weight but will not shape and sculpt your appearance as effectively as intense and direct muscle work. In short, if you want to appear muscular and ripped, MI40-XTREME 2.0 is calling your font-18px text-bold opensans.

Age is a number. I know guys in their 60s in better shape than most 25 year olds. The trick is to maximize your efficiency in the gym, and spend more time recovering from short, intense workouts. Brief, yet still intense, workouts will accumulate LESS INFLAMMATION.

I would never morally recommend that anyone under the age of 15 engage in an intense workout regime. Beyond that, the age at which you are mentally able to approach learning new training techniques and concepts without an ego, is the right age. For some, this may be 16; for others, 45 may be too soon.

Some females have had the most outstanding results! Hormone regulation is probably even more important for women looking to build muscle and get lean, than it is for men. The techniques in MI40-XTREME 2.0 allow you to optimize hormone levels through proper, intense training, and nutrition concepts such as my trademark Three-Phase Nutrition protocol that transforms your body like nothing else.

Although the concepts set forth in this program are designed to be more advanced, the basic principles in this program can and should be applied to anyone that steps foot in a gym.

The exercise execution guide and online videos are crystal-clear and demonstrate how to perform every move safely and efficiently. MI40-XTREME 2.0 combines over one hundred thousand dollars of graduate and post- graduate education into one system. MI40-XTREME 2.0 will be your finest learning experienc

If you have a question specific about the MI40-Xtreme 2.0 Program or if you need technical assistance with downloading your product, you may contact our help desk via the below address.

If requesting technical assistance, ALWAYS include your Clickbank order number, your full font-18px text-bold opensans and date of purchase for the fastest service.

Also, because of the sheer volume of email we receive, we regretfully are unable to reply to inquiries requesting free personal nutrition and/or exercise advice.

Support email address: [email protected]

Contact Us By Mail Our mailing address is: Ben Pakulski Athletics. Braemar Court, Deighton Road, St. Michael, Barbados BB14017, BARBADOS

Yours in health, fitness and passion, Coach Ben

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